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licorice-tea · 9 months ago

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You Feel Right; Stay A Sec

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: pining, yearning, wanting, and needing <3 no smut just fluff! kissing and smooching, just one mention of “going further”! reader is a heart pirate and likes reading :)

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: it’s been a while since i wrote something for my man (Law <3) so i had fun with this😇☝️inspired by lyrics from the song “Hostage” by billie eilish… i love writing based on songs, it’s probably bc i have music playing 24/7 in either my headphones or on a speaker, and i just love music! so it’s easy to get inspo or create scenarios while listening to it, yk? anyway, hope you enjoy! <3

I wanna be alone

Danger around every corner, piles of work, tasks demanding his attention, and crew members in need of their captain’s opinion are all sources of constant stress for one Trafalgar Law. It’s not that he doesn’t love being a surgeon; it’s his passion, nor his crew; they’re the closest thing he has to a family now. It's just that his battery in all aspects- social, mental, physical- is constantly drained.

The only things keeping him going are steaming cups of black coffee and the rare moments of quiet before he passes out on top of his comforter. And, no matter what form the momentarily relief from life takes, it most always comes when Law is alone. He prefers it that way, anyway.

Alone with you, does that make sense?

He prefers being alone, really. Which is why nothing about you makes sense. Right off the bat, Law has felt differently around you than others. He made an effort not to show that difference in opinion no matter how strong it came to be at times.

Times like now, where sleep eludes Law despite how damn tired he is. For whatever reason, all he wants is to hold something- no, someone… you. Law wants to hold you. Or maybe you could hold him, who cares about the specifics?

Law flips on his stomach and groans into his pillow. This is new territory. He’s never wanted someone the way he wants you. A partner to hold close on nights like these, or to simply be alone with.

I wanna steal your soul

He has considered, on multiple occasions, telling you how he feels. But Law would never actually do such a thing. It would be a complicated and messy affair, surely, thanks to your positions. (His as your captain and yours as his subordinate.) And he wouldn’t want you to feel like you had to accept his confession, either.

Still… he wishes you were his, in every way a person could give themself to another.

And hide you in my treasure chest

At least you’re on his crew. You’re always nearby, should he need you, which he often does. Sometimes, Law likes to call you into his office for a made up reason. “Y/n-ya,” he’d say, “give me a rundown on tomorrow’s conditions at sea.” Though you’re not the navigator of the ship, you still know plenty about seafaring, so you’d comply. Then he’d find some other trivial matter to discuss, or offer you a new book so you could later exchange thoughts on it. Just something- anything to keep you around as long as possible. It’s so much more peaceful with you.

I don't know what to do

But how to make your role in his life a more permanent one? Law hasn’t a clue. Tonight, like many others, you sit on a couch in Law’s office. Neither of you speak, but the atmosphere is calm and comfortable.

Or it should be. Law discreetly looks your way every few minutes, then every few seconds. His eyes follow the way yours scan side to side over a page of your book. From the lines of your jaw and neck, to stray hairs falling over the curve of your cheek.

The usually undetectable tension seems to be coming to a point tonight, and Law doesn’t know how to resolve it. But he wants to, almost as much as he wants you.

So, for once in his life, he moves without much planning. Law rises from his desk and crosses the room to sit beside you. He (stiffly) puts his arm around the back of the couch. Naturally, you give him a perplexed look- it’s not like Law to suddenly reach out like this, physically or otherwise.

“Good book?”

“Yeah, thanks for recommending it.”

“For sure.”

“…Is that all?”

He nods, then pulls his hat lower over his eyes. Silently, he makes a plan to abort this failed mission.

Luckily, you stop him and take the initiative.

To do with your kiss on my neck

Law lifts his arm back off the couch and over you. But, you gently grab his wrist before he can go any farther. “Law, is there… You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Again, he simply nods. A moment of silently staring into each other’s eyes passes, and he leans forwards extremely hesitantly. Your hand moves from his wrist and tentatively rests on his shoulder. Still, Law doesn’t break eye contact (for once in his life), continuing to lean forward at a painfully slow pace. So you allow your hand to travel up to the side of his neck.

“You can kiss me.”

He nods again slightly, “I know. I- I will.”

I don't know what feels true

At long last, Law places a featherlight kiss on the corner of your lips. It’s an unsure, awkward action, but welcome nonetheless. His lips linger on yours, not quite aligned for a moment. Despite your breath being held, you allow your eyes to close and savor the feeling. You want more than this chaste kiss from him, of course, but you’d take your time with it. Law isn’t the kind of man you’d want to have a touch and go experience with. No, he’s the kind the one that you want to savor. The one that you want to take your relationship slow and steady with as he wants, and as a result get to spend even longer in his company.

When he pulls away, you can’t help but smile. Law’s parted lips close into the gentle curve of a smile as well, his usual smirk appearing much more bashful. The two of you lean back into each other. Your noses are nudged and warm breaths mingle before your lips can meet again.

But this feels right, so stay a sec

Law realizes he’s never done this before; kissing. But now, he’s hooked. He still doesn’t really know if he’s doing it correctly; if you’re enjoying the experience as much as he is, but it feels good. Therefore, he must be doing something right. Plus you only pull away from him to take breaths before immediately returning your lips to where they belong (on his), which confirms his hopes.

What started as a sweet and slow kiss ends up becoming a much hotter make out session. Months of pent up attraction and feelings for each other spill over, out of your mouth into his (and vice versa.) He’s the first to swipe his tongue across your bottom lip and get you to open up, and proceeds to groan into your mouth in a way that’s surprisingly communicative of how strongly he feels. It gets to the point where, besides your hands roaming over each others backs, you feel that your saliva must also be permanently entangled.

But all good things must come to an end. You pull back completely so that you and Law are properly facing each other, rather than within kissing range. “Law, I… We should talk about this. Before we go any farther.”

His face heats up at the implication; he hadn’t even thought that far ahead, too lost in your sweet taste, warm skin, and soft lips to do so. He nods and just murmurs, “Okay, let’s just keep doing this.”

You agree and kiss him without another word.

Yeah, you feel right, so stay a sec

When you do both finally wind down, and are left as nothing but half-sleep puddles in each other’s arms, Law murmurs something unintelligible into your hair.

Silence passes, though you can practically hear the gears in Law’s head turning. Finally, he speaks his mind. “Don’t go.”

A smile graces your features. How pleasantly surprising it is to have your captain- possibly the most closed off man you’d ever known- asking for you to stay. Of course, you hum in negation. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

His arms seem to tighten around you- though whether it’s reflexively or to keep you close, you’re unsure. “Good.” Then, Law murmurs something unintelligible against you.

“Hm?” He can feel the vibration on your lips against the side of his face more than he can hear it. That’s how closely you’re pressed into him.

Law clears his throat. “You feel right.”

“So do you.”

#fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x you #x reader #law x reader #law x you #law fluff #law x y/n #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law

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bunni-v1 · 1 year ago

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Curée

Chapter 1: Monster in the Woods Next Chapter

Tw: Mentions of animal death

Info: Rook x Reader; Vil x Reader(familial); Epel x Reader(platonic)

🍓Ahhhh, it's done! If this is well received, I will continue it. If not, I guess I'll drop it. Oh well, I worked hard on this... so I hope you all enjoy it!

Tags: @kitsun369 @bloomstruck

You hated parties, plain and simple. Socializing with the elites of society was always so drab. Their fake smiles, empty compliments, and hideous attire always made them hard to deal with. The worst part, however, had to be getting ready beforehand. Your handmaids awoke you before the sun was even up, practically drowned you in your bath, and then stuffed you into the tightest corset only to make it worse with the fluffiest dress known to man.

You understood you had to look presentable, but beauty comes at a hefty cost — a cost you hated paying.

If you had a choice, you would be out hunting. Feeling the wind in your hair, smelling the sweet soil of the earth, and hearing the melodic tunes the birds would sing for you. However, you were the princess. You were obligated to be at your own birthday celebration, you supposed.

Besides, since your parents passed, Vil had become rather restrictive in what you can and cannot do. Vil loved you, and only wanted what was best for you. You understood that he was scared that he could lose you, too. Neither of you could ever live without the other. You were his rock, and in turn, he was yours. That's how it always had been. So, for the sake of your brother’s sanity, you gave up adventure for a more “acceptable” lifestyle.

Still, Vil would catch you staring out over the trees in longing, just as you were doing right now, and scold you. ‘You have a duty,’ ‘You cannot risk yourself, we have a kingdom to lead,’ and so on.

How you missed it, though.

A knock sounded at your door, pulling you out of your thoughts. The maids were finished with you for now, who could this be…?

“Who is it,” you called, poising yourself just in case it was your brother.

“It’s Epel, your majesty!”

You relaxed again — well, as much as this corset would allow you to.

“Come in,” you called, adding as he turned to face you, “and none of that Your Majesty nonsense around me, we are friends first Epel.”

“I know,” he laughed, “You can never be too sure when Vil is lurking around.”

“You are right, and the last thing you need is to be in trouble with Vil once again.”

You gestured for him to sit on the window sill next to you, and he smiled. Epel was likely your only true friend in the castle. Plucked off the streets by your brother, thanks to his charming face, and made a lower member of the court. The only member that wouldn’t snitch on you and your misadventures to gain favor with your brother. He was the only reason you were able to have any fun in your boring castle life.

“What brings you by, Vil seemed to have you on a busy schedule until the party, so I’m sure this must be important if it’s worth Vil’s wrath.”

“I have a present for you,” he replied, eyes lighting up in mischief.

“Epel,” you deadpanned “I’ll be opening all my presents tonight in front of the party-goers. You may be my friend but you don’t get special treatment.”

“No, no, no, this is a special secret gift,” he smirked.

“Please tell me you won’t try and court me.”

“Euch, no. Just- Here.”

He pulled an ornate box from behind his back and placed it in your lap, wrapped in a lovely velvety red bow. It was rather large and rectangular, and you weren’t sure how you didn’t notice it when he came in. You raised your eyebrows at him, and he waved his hands to urge you on.

You began to carefully undo the bow on the top, humming as it fell off onto the floor. It seems Epel had taken care when packaging this gift, so you would take care to open it. Lifting the lid, you found a protective felt covering over whatever this was.

“Could you hurry up,” Epel snapped, earning a glare from you.

“I don’t want to damage the packaging! You took such care with it.”

“You’re too sentimental. Let me do it.”

He reached over and, without much fanfare, revealed a bow. A bow made out of the finest wood you’d ever seen, painted white and purple. Hand-carved designs along its limbs, golden details highlighting each intricate swirl in the pattern. It was the most beautiful bow you’d ever seen, the sturdiest as well. You ran your hands along it in awe and delight. Along with it was an equally intricate quiver stocked with arrows of similar design to the bow.

“Epel, this is…”

“I know you’re not allowed to go hunting with me anymore, but… I thought that maybe tonight we could make an exception?”

“Vil would be…”

“What Vil doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?”

You frowned, looking back to the beautiful bow your friend had made for you. Your brother would be crossed with you if went against his wishes. You looked back to Epel, hope glimmering in those comforting eyes of his. Damn it all.

“Alright, just this once, though. This bow is too pretty to be wasted after all.”

Epel practically jumped with glee at your answer, hopping around like a mad hatter and whooping with delight. His excitement was infectious, and if your corset weren’t so painful to move in, you’d have joined him. Instead, you laughed at his antics and cheered him on from your seat on the window sill.

Another knock at your door caused the commotion to stop suddenly. Epel frantically took the bow and tossed it beneath your bed before peaking his head outside the door.

“Your Majesty… funny seeing you here…” he chuckled nervously, and you knew he would be in some hot water later.

“You are supposed to be with the rest of the court. Instead, I hear you are not only not doing that, but you are harassing the person of the hour with your screaming,” Vil scolded as he pushed his way into the room.

“I was just visiting them. We are friends, after all.”

“Friends or not, Epel, they do not need you bothering them in their private quarters on such an important day.”

“Oh, Vil, please. I invited him here because I was bored on my lonesome,” you sighed, “Epel, you are dismissed. I will deal with Vil.”

Epel scrambled out of the room as if it was on fire — with Vil’s temper, it might as well be. You turned to your brother, annoyance clear on your face, and he matched the look.

“You learned that look from me, you know.” he snarked.

“Well, I wear it better,” you sassed back, earning a smile from your brother.

He moved to your tea table, sitting in his usual seat against the wall and gesturing for you to do the same. You follow suit, sitting in the one with the clearest view of the forest. Without meaning to, you allow your eyes to linger a moment too long, and while Vil does not say anything you know he noticed. He reaches his hands across the table and grabs yours in his own like he always does when he is alone with you.

“You look beautiful, our parents would be so proud.”

“I feel as though this corset wants my insides to be my outsides.”

He laughs, bright and clear like the morning sun — he rarely does anymore, so you savor every moment you can get. His hands squeeze yours tight, and you squeeze back just as tight, suppressing the proud grin you had for making him laugh.

“Today is special,” he spoke softly, running his thumbs over your knuckles.

“It is, I am old enough to be wed — perhaps I could marry Epel, then he will truly be family.”

He grimaced, pulling away from you, “Please don’t suggest such a thing.”

“You know we are the least compatible people on this planet,” you laugh, “besides, he is already family enough.”

He nods, either in agreement or understanding — you cannot make out which it is from his expression. He recomposes himself, schooling his expression into one of practiced poise, and you know your brother will not want to joke around anymore. Sucking it up, you follow his lead and school your expression as well.

“I’m assuming you didn’t come here just to scare off Epel, did you?”

“Astute as ever, darling,” something in his voice sends chills up your spine. Something is wrong, and you don’t know what. “You are… older now. Old enough to marry.”

“I… know that, as I’ve said. That was just in jest, nothing serious.”

He stands, moving to pace around the room as if this was more stressful for him than it was for you. Knowing your brother, it most likely was. Still, you didn’t quite understand what his purpose was.

“My love, perhaps it is time you stop jesting. You are a Princess. You have duties, and… as the queen of this country, I must ensure you fulfill them.”

“Vil-“

“I’m not saying you have to make your decision right now, Sevens knows I don’t want you getting married yet. Still, there are suitors who would like a grab at your hand.”

“Vil, this is-“

“I’ve told a few that they may try your hand, but if they are forceful you will tell me and I will deal with them at once.”

“You… approved these strangers without my permission? Vil! How could you?“

“This is what is best for you, I’m sorry…”

He stops in front of you, bending down to look you in the eyes and gently taking your face into his hands.

“You know I have never once asked something of you that I did not see as necessary,” he said, uncharacteristically desperate, “Please understand, I am doing what is best here.”

Truthfully, you did not understand. You did not understand at all and you were angry. This was the angriest you had ever been with Vil — far more angry than when he banned you from hunting. He had deliberately done this behind your back. He was stripping you of your freedom as a person without your okaying it first.

This was unfair. This was sickening. This was… this was… this was the life you were born into. This was the responsibility you would have to bear at one point or another. So despite the burning rage in the pits of your stomach, you sighed and pressed your brother into a tight hug.

“I understand, Vil. I’m not angry with you,” you lied, voice sweet as honey.

You’ve become quite good at lying.

He pulled away, standing and recomposing himself fully before cusping your face in his hands again. He seemed to be going through a million different emotions at once, but the most obvious seemed to be guilt. He truly did mean only the best for you.

“I must go, I am very busy with planning,” he stated suddenly, turning for the door, “I will see you tonight, the handmaids will be back to tend to your hair soon.”

With a final, graceful wave, he was gone and you were alone. Alone to sit with the thoughts that he had forced into your head. Alone, knowing that the freedom you longed for would forever be out of your grasp.

You looked to the forest for an answer, but it remained silent.

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

The party was in full swing now. The cacophony of people chattering amongst themselves and the whining sounds of the orchestra’s strings were giving you a headache. Looking at the swirling colors of horrendous dresses and suits – far too ornate and gaudy – only seemed to further the ache in the back of your skull.

You sighed, massaging your temples for the millionth time tonight. This wouldn’t be so bad if you could get up and drink and let loose like your guests, but as the princess, you had to keep appearances. Regardless, this stupid corset and dress hardly allowed any freedom of movement, so dancing wasn’t exactly an option.

Your brother seemed pleased with you, though, with a pleasant smile on his face each time he locked eyes with you from his place in the crowd. He was allowed to mingle, but not you. You were far too important for such a thing.

Sigh. Keeping Vil happy was far more important than pretending to enjoy the company of your party guests, you supposed. Still, you were quite jealous of your brother's freedom to move around and do as he pleased.

You scanned the crowd, taking note of the more important people among the average attendees. Leona Kingscholar was likely the most notable, being the prince of one of the largest kingdoms in all of Twisted Wonderland. While he wasn’t a direct heir to the throne, the power he held as second in line – technically third if their kingdom dared to crown such a young child as king – was substantial. He had quite an air about him. You were intrigued, but he scowled every time he looked your way, so the sentiment was not shared.

Riddle Rosehearts, the son of the neighboring kingdom's governess. You never liked his mother, she was controlling with quite the temper. Riddle only seemed to be the same, with a fiery temper worse than Vil’s own. He was quite a stickler for the rules, making him a perfect candidate to take a spot in his country's cabinet as soon as possible. He was already working as an intern below his mother, so it was only a matter of time before he worked his way to higher power. How terrifying for his people.

Kalim Al-Asim was, perhaps, the only aristocrat you liked at this god-forsaken party, alongside his right-hand Jamil Viper. An heir to an extremely successful oil company, he was the second closest thing to royalty that one man could possibly be. He had a bright smile on his face every moment, and it seemed to catch on with the other party-goers. Every time he looked up to you, he gave you an excited wave that almost made the corset worth wearing.

There were other notable men, such as Azul Ashengrotto who was the head of – what you assumed to be – a very successful business of sorts. You weren’t sure of what it was, but you knew it wasn’t completely legal. Idia Shroud was also among the men in the crowd, though he seemed like he’d rather be dead than be here. You could not blame him. He was a known shut-in, and rather unpleasant to talk to. Still, he had the power to inherit from his family, earning him a spot among the elite.

You could tell detailed accounts of every single person in this ballroom's life, even the more average citizens that were allowed in. That aristocrat recently cheated on his wife, causing her to leave him with half the fortune and their three children. That woman in the glittering green dress was a known harlot, sleeping around with any man or woman she could just for fun. You respected her for her freedom and for scheming her way into the pockets of the ultra-wealthy.

That one handled finances, those two over there were distant cousins of the crown in a neighboring kingdom, and that blonde man… Who was that blonde man? You’d… never seen him before, but he was captivating in a way you’d not expected.

His straight-cut blond hair was hidden beneath a most peculiar hat. He had sharp green eyes that seemed to stare straight into your soul. His dress was far more humble than the other nobles. A simple suit with pretty purple accents to respect the crown.

He locked eyes with you for a moment, smirking to himself as if he had found you amusing. Your heart fluttered in your chest as he winked at you, and then… he disappeared behind a pillar. You searched around for him frantically, but he was gone for good, it seemed.

You frowned, slumping down onto your throne, tossing your head back in defeat. Now that the only interesting person here was gone, you would be stuck in this very uncomfortable seat for at least another three hours with nothing to do. You might as well get comfortable.

Suddenly, however, a voice cleared in front of you, interrupting your wallowing. You raise your head with a scowl, only to jolt up at the scariest sight known to man. Your brother, arms crossed with a stern glare, and next to him two of the most powerful men in all of Twisted Wonderland.

When had they even begun heading up here, while you were lost searching for your mysterious Romeo?

Malleus Draconia, and next to him was his right hand Lilia Vanrouge. Malleus was tall, dark, and horrifying to be in the presence of. One of the most powerful mages in the whole world, and the heir to the strongest kingdom known among your circle of aristocrats. He always looked as stony as the position he held, and being up close was far worse.

Lilia, while far more inviting than his master, was not someone to be taken lightly. He was an impressive magician with skills rivaling most of his peers – he was also the man who taught Malleus everything he knew. Not only this, but he was a renowned general and caused the devastation of thousands of human lives.

Their kingdom had just recently joined the united front that your own was a part of, leaving only the notoriously reclusive Nobel Bell as the last independent kingdom yet to join. Supposedly they were trying to introduce Fae to human society, as they’d been living in fear since the great war ended. This was the first big human celebration Malleus had been to since the agreement went through. Perhaps that was why your brother brought him to meet you personally.

Surely, that was it.

You stood, smiling at the pair with a small curtsey out of respect – your brother nodded his approval.

“Vil, who might these two lovely people be?” you asked, feigning ignorance though you had no reason to. Everyone who was anyone could recognize these two without thought.

“This is Prince Malleus of The Valley of Thorns, and his courtier Lilia Vanrouge,” Vil introduced, seemingly a bit unnerved – quite unlike him.

You introduced yourself in kind, curtseying again to show your respect, less Vill feed you to the dogs tonight. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both, especially since you came so far just to see me on my birthday.”

“A birthday is an important event,” Malleus states matter-of-factly, voice deep and smooth as chocolate.

“I suppose you are correct, Your Highness. Still, it is quite a ways to travel and I am honored that you would make yourself a guest for my birthday party,” you responded, proper and elegant as you had been trained.

“Of course, I would come, you are my future partner, after all,” Malleus states, again, as if it is fact.

This time, however, you break your perfect facade with a furrow of your brow. Your hands place themselves sturdily on your hips and you tilt your head to the side in confusion.

“I’m sorry, I beg your pardon, Your Majesty?”

Before he can speak, Lilia inserts himself, “Nothing is for certain, he is just one of the many lucky men who have been allowed a try at your hand.”

You try and steel yourself, but all you can manage is to straighten your back and scowl at your idiot brother. “I see, well, I’m sorry Prince Draconia, but you’ll have to work harder than that if you want my hand.” You stand from your seat, head as high as you can get it, “I am not a toy to be played with, I am a Princess and I expect to be treated as more than an object for you,” you turn to the crowd, which was gawking at your display already, “or any other man here’s liking!”

“Princess-” Vil tries, but you are already beginning to leave the situation. This party was simply a ruse to sell you off to the highest bidder, and you wanted no part in the auction.

You don’t allow yourself to hear Malleus’ response, and you certainly do not allow Vil to stop you from leaving. Perhaps you were throwing a tantrum, maybe you were being childish, but you felt violated. You wanted to be anywhere but near any of those men at this moment.

No one dared to stop the angry princess from storming out of her own party, not even the guards assigned to keep her there.

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

The moment you got to your room you ripped the stupid dress off your body. Layer after layer, string after string was hastily removed until you could finally see your arms and legs again. Next would have been your corset, if you could reach the damn knot those stupid handmaids had tied.

You struggled for what felt like an eternity until you could not stand, and fell into a sobbing heap upon your bed, hardly able to breathe through your tears.

“Stupid party, stupid dress, stupid corset,” you cried, “stupid, evil brother.”

A knock sounded at the door, and you curled into yourself as much as you could. You didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment – let alone your brother. You could hear his scoldings enough in your head already, you didn’t need anymore.

You heard the door creak open, and you covered your ears, waiting for an onslaught of insults and anger. Instead, you were greeted by a gentle hand on your arm. You sniffled, slowly unwinding yourself to look at who it was – surprised to see Epel.

He’d never entered without an invitation before.

“Before ya yell at me, I jus’ figured ya needed a pal,” he said gently, rubbing your shoulder in small soothing motions.

“Wh-what about Vil…?” you manage to mumble out as your tears begin to subside.

“Too busy tryin’ ta keep face, so we can jus’ talk like normal.”

You nod, and Epel helps you to sit up properly, keeping a steady hand on you at all times. This was, perhaps, the most kindness you’d ever felt from a person in your whole life. Your brother was often cold and distant, even when he was reassuring you. Epel was always warm and inviting. You were glad to have him as a friend here.

He eased you to your feet, and from there he helped you out of your corset and into far more breathable clothing – your hunting clothes, from when you were younger. They were a bit too small now, but Epel still complimented your appearance as if you were in that same ballgown.

“Thank you Epel,” you sighed out, “did you…”

“Hear yer whole speech? Yeah, me and the whole party.” He laughed, giving you a comforting pat on the back.

You groaned, burying your head in your hands. Vil would never let you hear the end of it, your life and status was ruined – all because you couldn't control yourself. You were not made to be.

“Hey, hey, don’ cry ya hear,” Epel soothed, “most of the guests found it funny, ‘specially that one Lion guy whose always mean ta ya.”

“Leona found it funny?” you asked from behind your hands.

“He was hootin’ and hollerin’ like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen!”

You laughed a little, the image of a smiley Leona Kingscholar being enough to cheer you up. You smoothed over your ruined hair, looking into the body-length mirror across the room. You looked like a disaster, with clothes far too small for you and hair still half up and frizzy. You looked like you, and it made you smile.

“Thank you for helping me Epel, you are a good friend,” you said gently, taking his hands into yours.

“Maybe we should ask Vil if ya can marry me, then ya wo’ have’ta deal with all this mess.” He joked with a devious laugh.

You blanched, pulling away as fast as you could. That only served to make him laugh harder, nearly doubling over onto the floor. You couldn’t help but join him after a point, and you could hardly remember what had made you so upset in the first place.

Once the both of you settled, Epel turned to you with a more serious face. You squinted at him, knowing whatever idea he was about to voice would be incredibly idiotic. Still, his stupid plans were always the most fun.

“Yer all dressed up fer it, so why don’ we do a bit of hunting,” he proposed.

You raised your eyebrows, as if to challenge him, though you both know he had already won you over. “What about Vil, he’ll surely be looking for me in a short while.”

“He’s busy tryin’ ta fix the mess ya made – c’mon, you already said ya would.”

You feigned conflict for a moment, closing your eyes and placing a hand on your chin. You could feel Epel’s nervous squirming next to you, and you grinned wide and bright. “How could I possibly say no?”

“I’ll get ma knives,” he said, practically scuttling out the door, “Meet me at the fountain out back, I’ll be real quick!”

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

You’d never felt this free. Not since before your parents passed, at least. The wind, the dirt, the trees – you missed it all so much. You spun around, laughing as you did so, earning yourself a side eye from Epel.

You didn’t care, though, letting out a big sigh of relief, “How I missed this place!”

You blew kisses to the sky, the trees, the ground, the animals, even to Epel. You didn’t realize how badly you wanted this until you were here.

“Be quiet ‘nd stop movin’ so much, yer gonna scare off all the animals,” Epel scolded.

“Okay, Vil.”

“Hey!”

You laughed, bounding ahead without a care in the world. You hadn’t been to your usual hunting spot in a while, you wondered if it had changed much. If Epel even went to it without you, or if he had his own spot away from it.

Caught up in your high of temporary freedom, you almost missed a blur in the side of your vision. Too large to be any animal from this forest. Your head shot to the side, moving to draw a bow.

“What, what did’ja see,” Epel asked, and you were quick to shush him.

Drawing your bow, you watched the landscape with a careful eye, waiting for any subtle movement. You looked for any sound, any smell that could give away this mystery creature's position. You narrowed your eyes, focusing on where you first saw the figure, and… AHA! You fired your arrow, hitting your target head-on.

Both you and Epel scrambled over to see what you hit. Your heart was racing – what if it wasn’t just an animal, what then? You took a deep breath and pulled back the bushes to reveal… a deer. A buck, to be precise. You sighed.

“Just a deer.”

“All that tension for nothin’, you gotta stop scarin’ me like that.”

“Sorry Epel, I thought it was something else.”

“Whatever, jus’ relax, ‘kay?”

Little did either of you know, there was something – someone lurking in the darkness. Sharp green eyes follow your every movement with the same curiosity you watched them with earlier.

·┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆·

It had been more than a few hours since you arrived at your designated hunting spot – still the same as you remembered it. The two of you had gotten yourself a good hunt; a vast collection of little critters native to these pretty forests. The butcher in town would have an influx of goods soon enough.

Vil was, no doubt, already looking for you. You were sure he was assembling a guard at this very moment to come and find you, but you couldn’t care less. You had earned this little rebellion, no matter what he thought of it. Still, you couldn’t help the little ache in your chest telling you that what you were doing was cruel in an unimaginable way.

You hummed, sitting yourself down on a stump, neatly setting your bow and quiver next to you. Epel joined you with a curious raise of his brow, throwing his equipment off. You leaned onto his shoulder, smiling up at him. He smiled back, resting his head against yours.

He was more like a brother to you than your brother was. You don’t know what you’d do without him.

“Vil’s gonna kill me when we get back,” you sighed, feeling all the energy from before leaving your body.

Reality had to creep back in at some point, you just wished that it wasn’t so damn soon. You could spend a few more weeks out here with Epel. It was so peaceful, so calm, and everything you had missed so desperately since your parents passing.

“He’s gonna kill me more than you, ‘f it makes ya feel better,” Epel joked, trying his best to lift the mood.

You sighed, “What if we didn’t go back, then neither of us would die and we could stay out here forever.”

“Even ‘f we could, yer running out’ve arrows, and it won’ be any fun if you can’t hunt.”

You hopped to your feet, groaning as your feet ached in protest. You hadn’t noticed how tense your body had become from all your activity tonight. That's what you get for not being allowed to do any physical labor. You stretched your arms high above your head, twisting this way and that to ease the pain when you saw something.

This time it was much bigger than the buck before. You tensed, turning to Epel, who had also noticed – if the look on his face was any indicator. Carefully, he crept toward his discarded equipment, to not catch the giant things' attention. He handed you your bow and quiver, though you were quickly running out of arrows to defend yourself with.

A rustle sounded in front of the clearing, and the smell of this thing hit you all at once. The air in your little self-made clearing had become thick and heavy with ink. The kind you had back in your study, but the smell was suffocating. You placed part of your cape over your mouth to filter it a bit, but the smell persisted as strong as ever.

“What do you think it is,” you whisper to Epel, who seems to be doing just as bad as you are.

“Not sure, but I ain’t smelled somethin’ like this in my whole life.”

You nodded. You had no idea what this thing was – too big to be any animal you know. Most certainly not a human, so no worries about Vil’s guards. The size wasn’t what scared you, but the smell. An unknown animal that smelled like ink… unheard of.

The closer the thing came, the worse the smell got and the louder its movements became until you were sure it was right outside the clearing. You and Epel could try to run, but you had no idea how fast or smart this thing was – running could be a worse choice than staying and fighting it.

You looked to Epel, and he narrowed his eyebrows as if to ask if you were with him or not. With a deep breath, you drew an arrow out of the quiver, set it, and aimed right at where the large shadow loomed. You exhaled as you let the bow fly through the air, successfully hitting your target.

It let out the most horrific, gurgling scream you had ever heard in your life – confirming that it was not an animal, but something far worse. It emerged from its hiding place.

This thing was nearly three men taller than you and covered in this thick, black, dripping ink. Worse yet, it had no face, just a glass jar oozing more ink out of it. You felt your heart skip a beat, but you couldn’t panic – not now that you had its attention.

Drawing another bow, you shouted at Epel, “Run back to the castle and find someone to help.”

“I am not leavin’ you here!”

“And I’m not accepting that answer. I’m more skilled than you in combat, and you’re faster on your feet than I am. You can get there faster than I ever could, and you could save me if you’re fast enough.” You said as you began to make distance with the monster. It was slow enough that you could move, but not so much that you could take your eyes off it.

“What– I can’t–”

“Epel, as your Princess I am ordering you to do this. Please.”

He didn’t respond for a long moment, and you were afraid he would disobey you. He muttered something angrily, and without another word, carefully crept away into the woods. The creature turned to where his footsteps fell, beginning to slump toward him – surprisingly fast for its size. You drew another arrow, shooting it on its right side, and watching as the arrow slowly sunk into its inky surface.

It turned in your direction, gurgling as it charged forward blindly. You scrambled back, almost losing your balance more than a few times – you were too rusty to be in such a risky position. You charged deeper into the forest as fast as you could, peeking over your shoulder to ensure it was far enough away from you at all times.

You didn’t have time to find high ground, so you settled on hopping from bush to bush and tree to tree. You hit it multiple times successfully, but it only served to make it even more angry with you. Its ink was impervious to human weapons.

Settling behind a tree, you reached up into your quiver to grab another arrow. Shit. Only two arrows left, not that they would’ve done you much good, but they were your last line of defense. You realize, now that you can’t turn back, that you should’ve gone with Epel.

Shaking your head, you knew you couldn’t give up just yet. You couldn’t die here, for your brother's sake. You took a deep breath, placing a hand over your racing heart. Calm, you thought, calm like a princess, think like a princess.

Okay. This thing didn’t seem to be able to see you, but it could hear – or maybe it was vibrations, but it seemingly could find you based solely on that. Hitting it’s body didn’t work, but you hadn’t thought to try for the “head” yet. If you could shatter the glass, maybe that could stop it.

The glass jar was small and hard to make out beneath the ink and the dark of night, but you could estimate where to hit based on what you saw earlier. With only two arrows left, you had to be smart and swift, lest this thing make you its next meal – if it ate, that is.

You swallowed, plucking your second to last arrow from the quiver and drawing it in your bow. Peaking around the tree, you lined up the shot just right, then sent the arrow hurling across the forest. It hit with a satisfying ‘crack’, and you’d hit your target dead on.

For extra measure, you took your last bow and drew it, aiming toward the beast and shooting the glass head once more. Another ‘crack’ and a few ‘thumps’ as thick pieces of its head fell to the ground. It remained unmoving in front of you, and you watched it with careful anticipation.

When it did not move again, you sighed, sinking to the floor in relief, holding your head in your hands. You had done it, you had killed the beast. You would live to see your brother, and you could not wait for his rage at your disobedience. You would take his anger over this any day.

Just then, however, you felt something in front of you. Your head shot up, and you would’ve screamed at the sight if it weren’t for the hand over your mouth.

In front of you was crouched the young man from the party, green eyes shining mischievously in front of you. He was still in his party attire, with the same goofy feathered hat as before. You narrowed your eyes at him, and he smiled leaning forward to whisper in your ear.

“Hush, Ma Belle,” he whispered, and you felt as though you might melt, “it can hear us if we’re too loud.”

You nodded, and he carefully pulled his hand away from your mouth. He, too, had a bow on his back – though his seemed to have a more magical tendency to it. You were not allowed to be around magic, thanks to the dangers it possessed, but you could recognize it easily since your father was once a talented magician and showed you all sorts of magical things.

This strange man noticed your eyes and gave you a wink. He stood to his feet, gesturing for you to stay where you were, and waltzed out in the open to the creature. You peeked out from your spot, watching with bated breath.

The creature was twitching, its inky mass bubbling in a disgusting display. You had done quite a bit of damage to it, but not enough to kill it. The man, seemingly unphased by this sight, drew his arrow – infused with a glowing red magic – and shot it. The second it hit the monster, the ink began to boil and slowly slough off until there was nothing left but broken glass.

The man approached it, picking up a piece of glass and putting it in an inner jacket pocket. He turned to look at you, gesturing you forward with a come hither motion. Stunned, and unable to fully comprehend what had just happened, you stumbled forward as he wanted. You stopped awkwardly at his side, losing all sense of refinement and grace from before.

The man stood, fully addressing you now.

“You are a talented huntsman,” he said, voice silky smooth making you melt from the inside.

“Ah- uhm, ahem, thank you,” you paused, then quickly added, “You- you are as well, sir.”

He grinned, seemingly happy that you noticed, “Do you know what that creature you just fought was?”

“Uhm… I think I’ve heard of it in fairy tales, but those are just…”

“Scary stories to keep cute little things like yourself safe?”

You frowned, “I am not little, you were at my party earlier, were you not? You should be speaking to me with respect.”

“My apologies Your Majesty,” he bowed deeply, “you are cute though.”

You huffed, feeling your face warm at the compliment. The audacity of this strange man to speak to you like this. You… quite liked it.

“Just tell me what that thing was, and I won’t have you charged with harassment,” you threatened emptily.

He hummed, “If you must know, that was a phantom – the remnants of a magician who died from blot.”

You gasped. Blot was only in the fairy tales your mother would tell you… but so was that monster. Seeming to understand your confusion, the man pats you on the head.

“A sheltered princess is not expected to know so much about the world around them, do not worry Ma Belle,” he eased.

You had a million questions. Why was that thing in your forest? How could something like this possibly happen? Was Vil aware of these things? Why did he not tell you about them? Was this why you weren’t allowed in the forest? Most importantly, who was this mysterious savior of yours?

Before you could ask anything, however, the sounds of shouting came from somewhere further out. The man seemed to consider it, smiling a knowing smile, and then turned to you again. He took your hand, placing a kiss on its top.

“That is my sign to take my leave,” he stated simply, “do watch your back, princess. There are those in this world who wish you harm, and we could not have a pretty thing like you getting hurt, hmm?”

You swallowed thickly, feeling your face heating up at his words and a million more questions filled your head. You gaped at him, unsure of how to respond to what he said, completely captivated by his words.

He chuckled, eyes squinting in a beautiful way as he did so. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, despite his supposed need to leave. He placed a hand on the brim of his hat, smoothing it over, and his face lit up with delight. Seems he had found the answer, taking his hat off and placing it firmly on your head.

“An excuse to see you once more, Ma Belle,” and with a flourish of his hand, he was off into the darkness.

As the voices came closer and closer, you could not peel your eyes off of where he came from. Who was that mysterious stranger, and why did he make your heart pound so hard?

229 notes · View notes

kzuhasgf · 1 year ago

Text

in between the lines

pairing — lily morrow x 7th member!reader

you and lily are THE chaotic besties. you can't be seen without each other and are like peas in a pod. what happens when there's a realization?

tags — f!reader (ethnicity friendly), idol!au genre — crack, fluff, ROMANCE (this is sickeningly sweet) word count — 4,840

notes — there's two curse words, reader is ’03 and knows how to cook, I had FUN with this one (I hope you enjoy it too), I WON'T SAY ANY SPOILERS!!

when you became a trainee at jyp, things were fun and exciting, meeting people like you, taking up new experiences, and working hard to fulfill your dream of becoming one of the most talented idols.

of course, that was all enjoyment at first.

trainee life is tiring and excruciating. for one, it takes a lot of time and effort. most of the time, years. it's your top priority to improve, so you must manage training, studying, eating, socializing, sleeping, and taking care of yourself all at once.

sometimes, it was too overwhelming for you.

that is because you had to do all of that, and there was always something to worry about. one second, you would rejoice about passing your monthly evaluation and then hear that your vocals aren't half as good as others who have been here.

when you ace that one challenging choreography your coach assigned to you, yet still compared to one of your seniors.

trainee life was tiring, demeaning, and excruciating.

not until you met lily.

you still remember the first time you saw her, walking into the wrong practice room.

realizing you were in the wrong room, you bowed and apologized profusely, her warmly saying that it was okay and there was nothing to worry about.

the second you made eye contact, something sparked, and that was something you could never describe.

you hadn't interacted with her that much, her being in the more skilled classes of the trainee groups. she was very well known and had been there before you by a long run, so finally seeing her in person made you curious.

"I'm sorry, excuse me,"

"but you're lily, right? I've heard a lot about you."

"oh!" she looked at you wide-eyed, "yes, I am lily. and only good things, I hope." she chuckled nervously, and you gave her a reassuring smile.

"of course. it's all good things,"

you checked your watch and frowned after seeing the minutes that passed. you had practice to get to and didn't want to get scolded by your teacher, so you couldn't stay for so long.

"I'm sorry to cut our conversation short, but I have to go. it's nice to meet you, I hope to see you again!"

"it's okay! see you wherever!" she smiled, and when you left, her eyes stayed on where your figure was far too long than she expected.

and guess what? "see you wherever," you did.

at least the second time you met.

this time, she stumbled upon you alone, in another practice room, at ten pm, on the floor.

you didn't hear her enter, so you lay there, unaware she was in the room. she recognized you by your appearance and by your previous interaction with her. by now, she had forgotten whatever she was planning and instead looked at you in concern.

"are you okay?" you opened your eyes, startled to see her doe ones stare at you from above.

you screamed, "aah!! oh. lily? hey, lily!"

"oh my god! don't scream like that again. it made me scream, too!" she put her hand on her chest.

"I'm sorry!" you said, getting up, your eyes widening as you saw her more clearly now and not be shadowed by herself.

"oh my god, lily."

"why? what's wrong?"

she looked gorgeous.

"wait, why are you even here? it's late, you shouldn't be practicing!" she asked and scolded you, her arms crossed and her eyebrows furrowed.

"oh, don't worry, I wasn't training. I was only lying on the floor, questioning things in my life," you answered her honestly, catching her off guard.

"oh. then, what were you thinking about?"

"hmm... well, I was thinking of important things to ones that weren't. like how my family is doing, if I'm good enough to be an idol, what song I should listen to before I sleep, or what I should eat tomorrow. all random stuff." you shrugged your shoulders, spacing out and looking at a wall.

"hey, what is this that I'm hearing?!"

you looked at her in surprise.

"you're good enough to be an idol. more than enough, actually. I even heard from other trainees that you're our new ace. that's not something you hear every day! I got interested in you."

your eyes lit up visibly.

"oh, wait, really? you got interested in me too?"

"too?" she questioned you.

"I, wait—"

"it's okay, y/n." she laughed, throwing her head back, smiling up to her eyes. your heart raced.

"you're so cute."

you can't stop yourself from staring.

"what you said a while ago about not knowing what song you wanted to listen to at night,"

she added, "I have a few songs in mind. do you want me to play it for you?" after nodding, she quickly walked to where the TV was, searching on youtube and playing an upbeat song.

she walked back to you with her brow raised, and she gave you a small smile, reaching her hand out to you.

you thought, if she looked this good with a messy bun and baggy clothes, how would she look when dressed up flawlessly?

"do you wanna sing for a bit? it's nothing intense, only a couple of songs."

your lips parted, eager to give her an answer—

"and, maybe after, I can show you some of the snacks I eat at the cafeteria."

your whole world stopped.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you and lily couldn't ever seem to be apart.

after that night, you both became closer. in some way, it was inevitable. you two just seemed to match each other so well.

it was routine for both of you to eat meals together, practice together, hang out and go places, and be at each other's dorms.

you both were best friends.

the best of friends.

chaotic ones, at that.

she brightened up your days the same way you did with hers. when you needed a should to cry on, she was always there, and you did the same for her, too.

lily always managed to bring you up on your worst days.

you often didn't think when she was around. it was as if your mind went blank, and all you could think about was her. you didn't care what other people thought as long as you both had fun.

you both did what your hearts desired, regardless of who or what was there.

that explains why you were so chaotic together.

so when you two were announced to be part of the pre-debut lineup and upcoming group of jyp, you both screamed and jumped in happiness.

hearing the news along with the other girls of jypn, you turned to her and screamed, holding her hands in joy.

"OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD, LILY, WE DID IT. WE MADE IT!!" screaming, you started hugging her, jumping.

still in shock, lily gave you the biggest smile she could muster and started screaming and jumping with you, holding your hands tighter.

"OH MY GOD, Y/N, YES, WE DID IT!"

the announcer looked at you both questioningly while the girls could only look away in embarrassment.

"don't mind them, please." haewon smiled at them apologetically.

"o...kay. alright then. that's all for today, thank you. and congratulations. you may celebrate." they said and quickly left.

you and lily were so occupied that it took you a minute before noticing the announcer was gone. you both started giggling and pointing at each other, leaving the others confused. bae couldn't handle your weirdness and called you two out.

"just to let you guys know, you're both freaks." haewon burst out in laughter, clutching her stomach. you poked your tongue out at her, and lily doubled up in laughter.

"it's okay, lily. they're just jealous of our super glue-bonded relationship."

"super glue-bonded?!" lily exclaimed and looked at you with wide eyes, and you laughed heartily, bringing her closer and patting her back.

"you guys are so entertaining." kyujin stared at you both in astonishment.

"okay now, don't even try looking at them." haewon covered kyujin's eyes, turning her away and making her whine.

"why, unnie?!"

"I'm doing this to protect you!"

you scoffed and crossed your arms as you looked at her, fake disgust. "what an asshole, honestly," you said quietly enough, only for lily to hear. you shook your head as your best friend snorted and covered her mouth, trying to hide her laughter.

you grinned widely, proud.

you loved adored seeing her this happy.

"trying to hide her laughter," but ultimately failing.

but you didn't mind. as long as you got to see your best friend like this.

"she... she called you an asshole!"

your jaw fell in surprise.

"LILY—?!"

okay, maybe you did mind.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

nmixx had been around for more than a year now, and you were all playing a folk tale mafia game, trying to find who the nine-tailed fox was.

the goal of this game was actually the least of your worries. you were trying to distract yourself from what close proximity you had with lily.

and you rather eat high-quality food than focus on what's happening (except for the girl you were beside).

everyone started telling their roles, and you lightly smiled when it was lily's turn.

"I'm... a subject.

"what?" you mumbled to her in surprise, your mouth full of food.

"hey, don't eat with your mouth full," she frowned and when you finished chewing, she took a tissue and wiped your mouth, leaning closer to you.

"I— thank you," you said quietly, looking down.

your heart ached. and you didn't know if it was in a good or bad way.

"yah, you're the only one who hasn't said anything about your role yet," haewon said.

"yeah, and she's being super quiet. that isn't normal!" jiwoo pointed at you in accusation.

"hey, what the fuck? I haven't even checked my bowl yet!" you threw your arms out in exasperation.

"language," haewon said and looked at you pointedly.

"sorry." you apologized quickly.

"oh my god, unnie, are you that hungry? your bowl's almost half finished!" jiwoo laughed, smacking jinni on the back, who groaned, and you huffed, pouting in response.

"or maybe the food's just that good," lily countered, crossing her arms and looking at jiwoo.

"oh, aren't you so cute?" lily cooed and squished your cheeks, your pout instantly fading away.

"thank you, lily," you said with a small smile, chuckling and holding her hand on your cheek.

she did nothing but look at you with wide eyes.

after your leader's nagging, you finally relented, moving the rice left in your bowl aside, eyebrows raising at the role given to you.

"I'm... a doctor."

"what?!" the maknae almost screamed in surprise.

"y/n!! you're not supposed to say that!" lily panickedly waved her arms at you.

"oh, huh?" you said dumbfoundedly, and the girls began laughing. you, scratching the back of your neck, decided to join along.

you lied. you weren't a doctor, just a regular citizen.

but, you thought, if you tricked them into killing you, you could watch the game as an observer (not to tell lily answers) and eat as much food as you wanted. the plan was good in your eyes!

adding to that, you were also... decent in acting.

and so, the plan commenced.

the nine-tailed fox was now going to choose who to kill.

everyone closed their eyes, and after waiting, it was revealed...

that you were chosen to be killed.

"I'M A CITIZEN!! GET TRICKED, IDIOTS," you yelled, clapping and laughing at everyone. the staff began laughing, finding it amusing.

the girls could only stare in disbelief as you grabbed your bowl and showed them you were a citizen.

"boo hoo, you killed an innocent!"

you smiled happily and got a spoon, taking food out of the pan.

"y/n... did you really just," lily looked at you expectantly, already knowing what you did.

"shh, lily, they don't need to know." you whispered and winked at her, putting your finger on her lips, her mouth dropping in shock.

she's blushing.

"you know, unnie, if you're killed, you can't eat the food." bae teased, poking your side.

"okay." you shrugged, continuing to eat.

you blinked.

"WAIT, WHAT?!"

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you and the girls were preparing for your "love me like this" comeback, filming different takes for your stage practice.

everything seemed to be in order. you all were singing perfectly and managed to perform flawlessly. it was the same with your dance moves and stage presence.

it only took three hours because haewon wanted you all to ace it.

when everyone decided to rest, you drank water and lay on the floor, eyes closing.

you were exhausted, but you had fun. you often made faces when you weren't seen on camera, making the girls enjoy, too. you sat up, and from where you were, you could see them talking to each other, off in their own worlds.

except for lily.

she sat alone, hugging herself and resting her chin on her knees. you were concerned as you watched her, wondering what was wrong.

lily has been upset since yesterday morning. when you asked her, she didn't explain why and refused to tell you, not looking you in the eye.

even hugging her or holding her hand didn't work, which shocked you.

after your futile attempts, you decided to leave her be, telling her you were there for her whenever she needed you.

you thought you could both hang out and do things together as usual, but you guess she thought otherwise.

cause every time you approached her, she just walked away.

and that puzzled you to no end.

you didn't mind her not telling you what upset her because you wanted her to share it when she was ready. but her not even looking at you and walking in the opposite direction of where you were?

it made you think something went terribly wrong.

you stood up and went to her, an anxious look on your face. you really hoped she wouldn't walk away this time.

but, unfortunately for you, she noticed you walking toward her, and she quickly excused herself to the bathroom, her head down, shadowing her face.

you didn't even get the chance to get a word out.

haewon, who was nearby, looked at her worriedly, gathering her stuff before running out.

you could only look at her walking away, disheartened.

your members also knew something was up. they noticed lily's behavior and tried investigating it themselves but ended up with nothing. being the closest person to her, they had to ask you what was going on.

"I don't know, jinsol, I really don't know. she isn't telling me anything, and I'm just as left in the dark as you are."

bae looked at you in surprise. "oh? you don't know why?"

she recomposed herself, "all right. it's okay, unnie. thank you for helping. we hope lily unnie feels better soon."

you agreed, and after she walked back to jiwoo and kyujin, you slumped in your seat, frowning and sighing, feeling more lost than ever.

her reaction didn't help either.

the last time you couldn't talk to her for this long was when she had to return to her family for an emergency.

you didn't know what to do. you felt weird, and strangely enough, it felt empty without lily.

you didn't want to assume, but it seemed like she was avoiding you.

you weighed out the possibilities, and she might need some space, but she seemed to get along with everyone else just fine.

she even tried helping with the laundry last night but settled for washing the dishes instead.

she even went to haewon's room last night.

wait, she... went to haewon's room last night?

you couldn't linger in your thoughts any longer since someone sat beside you unexpectedly.

"…yoona?"

"y/n, I need to ask you something."

you and yoona were particularly close, so you didn't mind when she didn't use formalities. but because you were always with Lily, you never got to be as close to her as you had hoped.

"sure, yoona, what is it?"

"are you sure that lily unnie hasn't told you anything? like seriously, anything?"

you looked at her curiously. "well, from what I can recall, no. but I told her I would be there for her no matter what."

"hmm, okay. did you know that haewon unnie knows why lily unnie's acting this way?"

"wait, what?"

"mhm. I asked her, but she said it wasn't her place to say. I just wanted to let you know."

your stomach dropped.

"oh… okay. that's alright. thanks, yoona."

she nodded and hugged you, before walking away.

you sat there for god knows how long.

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"unnie!"

when you noticed the youngest leaning over to you, interested in what you were boiling, you turned like a deer caught in headlights. you sighed in relief when you realized the knife wasn't close to your fingers.

"kyu, you almost made me cut my finger."

her smile faded, and she quickly apologized. she started pouting, feeling bad.

"it's okay, baby. nothing happened, see?"

"still, I'm sorry!"

the urge to baby her was powerful. she'd probably whine over it, though.

even if you wanted to, you couldn't. you were chopping vegetables because it was your turn to cook dinner tonight.

whenever you did, kyujin had a habit of watching you because you were the only one in the group who knew how to cook meals, unlike the others who only knew how to cook ramen and eggs.

"what are you making, unnie?" she tilted her head, looking up at you.

you chuckled, "ah, well, I'm making sundubu-jjigae."

"ooh, don't make it too spicy, please!"

"of course! how cute our maknae is~"

you ended up babying her, anyways.

since kyujin didn't know how to cook, like the rest of nmixx, she ended up sitting on the couch and playing games on her phone. you wiped your hands and leaned against the counter, checking the time on your watch. it was past seven pm.

dinner would take about an hour to be ready, so all you had to do was wait. you and the girls wanted to sleep before nine o'clock because you had a performance at music bank the next day.

you looked up when you heard someone clear their throat near you. you felt a pang of fear when you saw that it was lily.

"lily."

you tried to hide your nervousness by leaning even more against the counter. lily appeared to feel the same way as she averted her gaze and fidgeted with her fingers.

kyujin, seeing the situation firsthand, had her jaw dropped as she walked away from the couch, making sure you noticed before hiding in the hallway to listen in on your conversation.

the awkward silence was deafening. you eventually relaxed and stared directly at lily. her eyes were filled with conflict. it's not unusual to see her acting this way cause it's something you've seen a million times.

you were just nervous and scared because you believed she was acting this way because of something you did.

"lily... how are you doing? are you okay?"

you said softly, giving her a welcoming smile. you glanced down and noticed her palms were sweaty from how she was repeatedly wiping her hands on her pajamas.

you raised your brow and looked at her, seeing her biting her bottom lip.

"I— y/n. can I talk to you?"

"we're talking, aren't we?"

"please."

she closed her eyes and took deep breaths in and out, putting her hand on her chest. you showed visible concern. lily was rarely ever this serious. you approached her and gently took her hand in yours.

"lily, what's wrong? I'm here to listen, please."

she stared into your eyes, and you could feel her trembling. she turned her head and covered her face, her other hand still holding yours.

"lily..."

"y/n, you know you're my best friend, right?" you hummed in response. She slowly turned back to you with pink cheeks.

"I tell you almost everything. anything and everything,"

she broke eye contact again, preferring to stare at the fridge rather than look into your eyes, swirling with emotion.

"but that's exactly why I couldn't tell you this."

"I'm sorry for not hanging out or talking to you like we always do. I just needed time to... process how I was feeling."

you nodded, listening to her intently.

"go ahead, lily."

she breathed in once more before letting the truth come out.

"look, y/n, I always thought of you as a best friend and best friend only.

"that is until I rambled to haewon about you, and she thought I had a big big crush on you."

"and that made me feel weird for days."

so that's why she wasn't talking to me?

"...I only started showing it when I saw you hanging out with yoona."

oh.

"wait, what?"

"let me explain!"

she stepped closer, awkwardly holding your arms in an attempt to be firm.

"you always stayed by my side, and me only. it's weird, y/n. no, not that! I mean, um, how I feel about it." she said and whispered, "and how I feel with the things you do."

you cocked your head like a confused puppy.

"awe shit, I didn't hear that."

"what are you doing?" haewon walked over to kyujin with her eyebrows furrowed, hands on her hips after hearing the maknae curse.

"has y/n really been teaching you how to curse? I'm so! going to scold her—" she said almost too loudly, making kyujin panic.

"quiet, unnie! look."

she peeked her head out of the doorway, eyes widening when she saw you and lily close together.

"okay, y/n, I know this is already a mess, but please hear me out."

"when you hold or hug me, I feel so— I don't know. like my whole body goes warm. I can never stop it."

"when you grab my hand or do that little thing where you caress it when I'm nervous, I—I feel like I'm gonna explode!"

"when I feel insecure, and you compliment me to make me feel better, I feel like the only girl you see in this world."

"and that terrifies me, y/n. because you're... my best friend. I shouldn't be feeling this way for you."

"but I can't help it. I really can't help it."

"especially when I saw you and yoona being so close together."

"I didn't take lily unnie to be the jealous type," bae said.

"when did you get here?!" haewon exclaimed, startled.

"it made my entire being feel like I was being soaked underwater, and I couldn't breathe. if, if that even makes sense..."

"it does, don't worry." you reassured her.

"but it also felt like it was... burning? Like I was burning."

"when I talked to haewon about you, I felt so conflicted. I thought, why would I ever have a crush on you? you're y/n."

ouch.

"but then, I realized you're also the y/n who's been there for me through thick and thin. the y/n who makes me smile effortlessly and wipes my tears away whenever I'm being extra emotional on a difficult day."

"the one who never judges me and has stuck by my side even though I'm probably annoying to you."

"you're the y/n who fits me perfectly, and no matter what happens, every memory I have with you has been sweet, heartwarming, and happy."

"looking back at the past and what we've been through together over the years has changed the way I look at you, and it makes me feel... I'm not sure how to describe it."

she pondered in thought, and her expression lit up.

"hey, remember when the netizens bashed me for being too honest on a live and how I should just keep my mouth shut?"

"you were so angry when the management team couldn't do anything about it that you wanted to personally go to the jyp building and confront them there."

"ugh, yes, I remember that," you groaned and covered your face with your hands in embarrassment while she chuckled and grabbed them away.

"I don't think anyone would have stopped you if haewon didn't drag you to your room." she whispered and teased, staring at you in amusement as you nodded her off, grumbling about the incident.

"I was even willing to riot online... bastards." you mumbled.

"what was that?"

"it's nothing!"

she giggled at your words, "oh, you're so silly."

"y/n, you made me realize you're not just my best friend. you're something else to me, something so much more, and something friends shouldn't ever feel for each other."

"and I resented myself for quite a while. until I realized it wasn't wrong, I was only scared of ruining our friendship."

"so, that's why I'm here to declare it. I'm going to say it, y/n. are you ready? tell me you're ready." her voice echoed throughout the kitchen and living room, and you laughed at her antics.

"lily..." you shook your head, heart beating faster. you gestured to her in encouragement. "I'm ready."

she held your hands and smiled at you wholeheartedly.

"I like you, y/n. I like you so much."

"oh my god!! she did it!"

"she actually said it?!"

"lily... I."

she leaned forward, eyes sparkling with hope.

"you...?"

"I—..."

"I..."

"..."

"...?"

"hey, wait, you're doing this on purpose!!"

when she saw you laughing again, her expression fell, making her pout and whine, looking at you disgruntled.

"I'm being serious here! do you like me, or do you not—"

you cut her off, "god, you're so cute,"

she blushed, her eyes widening, and her face fired up to different shades of red, quite flustered.

you moved closer, your gaze locked on hers. you placed your hands on lily's waist, causing her to freeze, unsure of what to do.

you smiled and grabbed her hands, putting them on your shoulders.

"there we go."

she stared up at you, looking at you with trustful eyes.

"lily, may I kiss you?"

"I—..." she stared at you in surprise. "yes. you may kiss me, y/n."

you tilted your head, glancing at her lips to her eyes. she tried shying away, but you laughed and stopped teasing, softly kissing her lips.

it was innocent and sweet. you could sense lily's nerves as she stood stiffly. you eased her by moving your mouth against hers.

she melted into the kiss, her hands clasped around your neck. you pulled her closer than before, your hands now grasping her lower back, and you completely surrendered yourself to her, the woman who had you from the start, lily.

you caressed her sides, making her squirm and squeal. you chuckled as you broke away from the kiss, seeing her amazed and stunned, standing there dumbfounded.

"oh, my god."

you both took deep breaths, your foreheads touching. lily took your breath away in many ways. she was so hypnotizing. everything about her managed to lure you in.

"y/n... that was... so... wow."

"wow. wow, indeed."

every. single. time.

whether it was this kiss, a sleepover in her room, or another run to the convenience store in the middle of the night,

she always drew you in. always.

she giggled, staring at you adoringly.

"y/n... does that mean we're dating now? am I your girlfriend?"

you blinked and stared at her dumbly.

"lily... yes, you are my girlfriend."

if you could do a replay in real-time, you'd want it to replay this moment over and over.

the way she crashed into your body, hugging you tightly and squeezing you with all her might.

"thank you, y/n." she whispered into your neck.

the way your members cheered and ran out of the hallway, not caring to hide anymore.

the way you felt when you held her.

"of course, lily." I might even love you.

the way you felt, at that moment, when your long-time best friend and the love of your life loved you the same.

your heart ached.

and, in between the lines, you knew it was in a good way.

"...y/n, am I a good kisser?"

"oh, come on, lily."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

bonus!

"Hey, so you and Lily unnie, huh?"

you stared at your phone in shock, not expecting a notification from jinni late at night.

"yunjin? how are you? how did you know,"

she typed her message, and when she sent it, you scoffed in disbelief. but not so much in surprise.

"Yoona." "I expected it, honestly. I could see you two get together from a mile away!"

"she's still updating you a lot, I see?"

"Who else would be doing it? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

you chuckled, typing a response back.

"i hope you two last long."

"You too, unnie."

"I miss you. tell her I miss her, too."

she added, "I guess Lily unnie as well..."

"don't let her see that." you laughed, already missing your former member.

"ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

"See you whenever I see you, unnie. I love you."

"i love you too."

see you, jinni.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ending notes — I have roller coaster on repeat (also idk if that bashing thing actually happened I just made it up) I lowkey feel like I trashed this, PLS tell me what you think

#lily x reader #lily morrow x reader #lily imagines #nmixx x reader #nmixx fluff #nmixx imagines #lily #lily morrow #🍃kachi's works

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csuitebitches · 8 months ago

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What do you think about consumerism in relation to the "hypergamous" lifestyle?

Great question. I'm going to be honest with you. There’s no point in sharing my opinion, I’d rather share my observation.

there is this perception that you have to spend crazy $$, wear designer, go on expensive holidays, be a part of exclusive member-only clubs in order to bag a wealthy guy. The thinking is, “if I look the part, I will fit right in.”

let me break it to you. If you’re Asian, Middle Eastern - you come from a culture that basically defines marriage as something between two families and not individuals - you could live the above lifestyle, live way beyond your means but your chances of bagging a wealthy guy are low. If you do not have the family background or education level to support your lifestyle to be with a rich guy, it’s going to be very difficult, not impossible. You could bag someone who is upper middle class, but definitely not the 0.01%.

While it’s true that the rich do spend like crazy - you have to understand that (especially in Asians) the level of spending is completely different. They can book a first class emirates flight without caring about rates, they have access to concierge services, the circles are small but tight. It is extremely difficult to break into these if you don’t have the money or are extremely good friends with someone who is in this circle. To keep up with this circle is another financial headache.

The consumerism is crazy, it is high yes, but often it’s for things you might not expect. “Silent luxury”, investing in jewellery, properties, experiences, hobbies, drivers, PAs, 24/7 staff to take care of your home, having personal managers at the banks that have your accounts, seeing the top CEOs, politicians, actors etc as regular people - keeping up is not easy. Even if we look at normal stuff, like shopping for clothes - they’re able to blow this thousands of $ on a simple Hermes tea cup set, break it, and buy another one very nonchalantly. Not to mention the constant social gatherings, the clothes (god forbid you repeat), your life’s experiences etc etc. Women here don’t work to maintain their lifestyle, they work to enjoy what they are doing. Even if they stop working tomorrow, they will be financially taken care of by their families or husbands.

hypergamy here is completely different and obstructed. Let’s take my own example. I date boys that my family picks out for me - boys whose families own massive conglomerates, who are cultured and sophisticated, etc etc. I ended things with my last boyfriend because of multiple things, but what mattered most was that my father felt that he wouldn’t be able to provide for me the way I was used to all my life. (Even tho my ex came from a wealthy background too). At every social gathering that my parents organise or take me to, I’ve got my parents friends asking my parents if I’m single, if I’m interested in meetings their sons, etc etc. Dating and marrying hypergamously in Asian and Middle Eastern cultures is very much a family affair. There is a lot of talk that happens in these circles - who married who, whose kids are dating who, did you hear that A’s son fell in love with some middle class girl he met in college - not to your face, but behind your back.

What I’m trying to say is - you could look the part but still not bag the guy. You could dress nice, you could wear expensive perfume and make up but in the end, backgrounds are vetted extremely carefully. Especially in today’s day and age where looking the part has become easier than ever. So now when you tie this to consumerism, you can see why it can be difficult to keep up with this level of consumerism and spending. And even if you can - that may not guarantee anything. Unfortunately life isn’t like kdramas and some rich guy isn’t going to take pity on you and transform your life when he could just be with someone who has a similar upbringing which is more comfortable.

I’m not sure if I answered your question correctly, but I assumed that you were basically asking me if looking the part can get you any points in the hypergamy scene.

#q/a

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sygneth · 2 years ago

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Echoes of Elysium | Disco Elysium AU ...something?

Warnings

General warnings for my blog's content applies. Check here.

This AU is (rather) not very alternative. I am just trying to develop further events and some background for the characters, but even though I'm making research and I try to stay canon-compliant, only to fill in the gaps, I cannot guarantee it will never happen. Especially in this fandom, where many interpretations and paths are equally canon, we may not agree on some things, I hope you'll enjoy my point of view nevertheless. Some episodical OCs will appear too.

INDEX

EOE on ComicFury!

EOE on Tumblr:

Chapter 1: New Beggings -> START

EOE on AO3:

Main plot (uhh still in the process of uploading!)

Ficlet series (additional content)

LORE:

Precinct 41 plans and explanation

Plot outline

After Martinaise things are slowly getting back to normal, but the general atmosphere in the city gets thickens every day, La Retour is hanging in the air. Despite this, Harry is trying to stay sober and make amends. It's hard to say if Kim's appearance on the 41st is making things easier or harder between Harry and his old friends.

The Return happens. In the after-revolutionary mess, everybody tries to move on, but things are changing in almost every aspect of life. And on top of this, a particularly hard case drops and somebody has to take care of it.

The start of the project is directly after Martinaise, so forgive me this vague description, but I would hate to spoil the plot haha.

Okay, from now on additional info, still important but not crushial.

I want to focus on the relationship between the people of Precinct 41 and their internal experiences. Impactful events and thicker action will happen too, but mostly in the later chapters of this.

There are also some important premises of this AU I would like to highlight:

Kim was raised in an orphanage, presumably held by some Dolorian organisation (order?). Some of his old-fashioned manners and vocabulary are remainings after growing up in a religious environment (even if he's not very religious himself).

Eyes died around 9 months before the events from the game. Since then, Kim has been willingly working alone. His superiors were not very fond of that but somehow he managed not to get partnered with anyone.

Harry has no known family members left. At least as far as he and his friends know.

Jean and Harry's partnership started four, maybe five years ago. According to the game, it was "two years minimum" but personally I think those losers were stuck with each other for much longer.

Jean's years-long, unexplained depression has roots in some sort of personality disorder. Also, he is codependent on Harry, probably co-addicted too. He had problem with speed himself, however it's not nearly as serious as Harry's. I see him as more of a weekend/party drug user, as for now.

I assume that since the communist revolution gay relationships were technically legal in Revachol. Technically, because there are still no rights for same-sex couples and the social recognition is poor and rather negative (I got inspired by my own country in that matter)

That's all I can think of now. I will probably just add new information in the description of he pages.

Okay, cool, one last thing. What do you mean by "...something?"? Is this a comic? A fanfiction series? What am I looking at?

The answer is: I don't yet know. I am planning this to be mostly a comic, but I cannot say there won't be some written as fanfics parts or some kind of in-between media. I don't really want to limit myself to one medium only, but at this point, I have no idea what this will evolve into. I honestly just want to have fun lol

#let's bring it on #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #informative #echoes of elysium #my art #sort of?

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themanirealityshifter · 7 months ago

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My Empyrean DR Script (that I will write on here, so that I actually finish it 😭)

First Name: Sebastian

Middle Name: Fynn

Last Name: Riorson

Nickname(s): Seb; Sebby

Pronouns: He/Him

Species: Human

Age: 23

Description: Black hair (wolfcut)(I love wolfcuts, and I don’t care if it’s impractical, I MISS MY LONG HAIR); Olive skin (even though I’m as pale as the moon in my CR); Black eyes flecked with lighter brown; Lean, muscular body (I need to be in shape here or I will die, so luckily I’m in control of this and can script that I’m not a blob that lays on the couch every single day); Top and bottom surgery scars (you bet your ass I have those); Fully transitioned (love that testosterone); Huge black dragon relic covering my back; Rebellion relic covering my chest; Lots of scars all over my body

Positive Trait(s): Intelligent (I need to be able to not be a dipshit and die immediately); Clever (same thing); Good memory (say bye bye to all those days of dissociation and maladaptive daydreaming in my CR, now I will remember EVERYTHING there); Quiet (of course I’m quiet, have to keep up the mysterious act, plus I’m too overstimulated and socially awkward for this shit); Thoughtful (my mind is always stuffed); Nice (even though I’m quiet and don’t talk much, I am pretty nice when you talk to me first)

Negative Trait(s)(yes, I’m gonna script them, just to give myself some flavor): Trusting (making friends wise, always end up getting hurt or stabbed in the back, literally and figuratively)

Dragon Type: Black Morningstartail (I JUST LOVED TAIRN SO MUCH, I HAD TO MAKE THE DRAGON I’M BONDED TO A BLACK MORNINGSTARTAIL TOO)

Dragon Name: Aodhan (do we know how to pronounce his name here? no. will we script that we do know it? yes)

Signet Power(s): Time Manipulation (can go back in time) and Reality Manipulation (can make my imagination real life)

Weapon(s): Daggers and Swords (I love me some sharp things)

Parent(s): None (dead)(it’s literal canon that Xaden’s parents died[along with all the other parents that were part of the rebellion]so yeah)

Sibling(s): Xaden Riorson; Liam Mairi (adoptive brother)

Other Family Member(s): Brodhi Durran (cousin)

Best Friend(s): Xaden Riorson (I’m besties with my brother, I know, I can do that); Liam Mairi (same thing); Violet Sorrengail (I’m the one who ends up being the body guard for her, not Liam); Brodhi Durran (I love my family); Ridoc Gamlyn (I adore him, it’s gonna be interesting all the talks we will have [I am scared that most of them will be about sex he had or people that he likes, help me]); Heaton (I love my non-binary pals); Garrick Tavis

Friend(s): Imogen Cardulo (I love her hair); Rhiannon Matthias (bisexual queen, go girl)

Partner(s): None (I am single forever, thank the almighty gays)

Gender Identity: TransGuy

Romantic Orientation: Aromantic

Sexual Orientation: Asexual

Other Orientation(s): Ambiamorous; Panalterous; Panaesthetic

Extra Fact(s): Liam does not die (I was sobbing when it happened); Homework is effortless and easy always (I don’t want to work too hard or make it take up so much time); I am a skilled painter/artist (something to do when I’m not doing homework, have training, have secret rebellion meetings with Xaden and the rest, or guarding Violet); I wear ear plugs a lot of the time (because I’m overstimulated a lot, but I still manage); Probably have some anxiety and PTSD (not that I don’t have anxiety already and probably have some form of PTSD here-); I keep my head easily (no panicking for me, though, even though I know, realistically, that contrasts with the anxiety, but I want to live and also have my sparkle at the same time); I know how to pronounce Aodhan’s name perfectly; Garrick and Imogen are together (Imogen needs her love too); I cannot die; None of my best friends or friends can die; Xaden, Liam, and Brodhi cannot die

Specific Affirmations For This DR: “I am with Aodhan”; “I am Xaden’s brother”; “I am in Basgiath College”; “I am in my dorm room”; “I am training with Ridoc”

Safe Word/Phrase: “Put the lime in the coconut and shake it all up.” (don’t ask)

Me in this DR (Picrew Form):

Probably will add to this more. Maybe will post some individual scenarios for this DR.

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igpaigeexo · 4 months ago

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Diverse Legacy Sims 4 Challenge

Introduction

Welcome to the "Diverse Lifestyles" Legacy Challenge! This challenge spans 12 generations, each with a unique focus on different lifestyles, family dynamics, and animal care. Get ready to explore a variety of ways to live, from urban to rural, and everything in between.

Rules

Start with a single Sim who has the "Animal Enthusiast" trait.

Each generation must complete their specific goals before moving on to the next generation.

Mods and cheats are not allowed, except for aesthetic purposes.

Pets must be well taken care of and should not be neglected.

Generations

Generation 1: The City Dweller

Your founder loves the hustle and bustle of city life. They aspire to build a successful career while keeping a pet in their apartment.

Traits: Ambitious, Outgoing, Animal Enthusiast

Aspiration: City Native

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the chosen career.

Live in an apartment in the city.

Adopt a pet and ensure it thrives in the city environment.

Generation 2: The Suburban Family

This Sim dreams of a perfect suburban life with a big family and a yard full of pets.

Traits: Family-Oriented, Cheerful, Dog Lover

Aspiration: Super Parent

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Parenting skill.

Have at least three children.

Adopt a dog and ensure it becomes a beloved family member.

Generation 3: The Rural Farmer

This generation embraces the quiet life of the countryside, focusing on farming and livestock care.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Green Thumb, Perfectionist

Aspiration: Country Caretaker

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Gardening and Cooking skills.

Own and take care of cows, llamas, and chickens.

Grow a large and diverse garden.

Generation 4: The Wildlife Explorer

This Sim has a passion for exploring the wild and studying animals in their natural habitats.

Traits: Adventurous, Loves Outdoors, Cat Lover

Aspiration: Jungle Explorer

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Archaeology and Fitness skills.

Travel to Selvadorada and complete the Jungle Explorer aspiration.

Adopt a cat and ensure it accompanies you on your adventures.

Generation 5: The Eco-Friendly Innovator

This generation is dedicated to living sustainably and inventing new eco-friendly solutions.

Traits: Green Fiend, Genius, Maker

Aspiration: Eco Innovator

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Fabrication and Handiness skills.

Create and maintain a sustainable home.

Adopt a pet and ensure it lives in an eco-friendly environment.

Generation 6: The Equestrian Enthusiast

This Sim has a deep love for horses and dreams of becoming a top equestrian.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Active, Ambitious

Aspiration: Horse Whisperer

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Riding and Fitness skills.

Own and train at least two horses.

Win at least five equestrian competitions.

Generation 7: The Artist in the Countryside

This generation finds inspiration in nature and pursues a career in the arts while living in a rural setting.

Traits: Creative, Loves Outdoors, Cat Lover

Aspiration: Painter Extraordinaire

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Painting and Photography skills.

Create a collection of nature-inspired artwork.

Adopt a cat and feature it in your artwork.

Generation 8: The Urban Socialite

This Sim thrives in the social scene of the city, balancing a busy social life with pet care.

Traits: Outgoing, Materialistic, Dog Lover

Aspiration: Party Animal

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Charisma and Mixology skills.

Host at least 10 social events.

Adopt a dog and ensure it is well taken care of.

Generation 9: The Academic Scholar

This generation is focused on academic achievement and research, with a special interest in animals.

Traits: Genius, Bookworm, Animal Enthusiast

Aspiration: Academic

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Research & Debate and Logic skills.

Complete a degree at university.

Adopt a pet and conduct research on its behavior.

Generation 10: The Celebrity Influencer

This Sim uses their fame to advocate for animal rights and promote different lifestyles.

Traits: Self-Absorbed, Outgoing, Good

Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Media Production and Charisma skills.

Gain at least 1 million followers on social media.

Adopt a pet and feature it in your content.

Generation 11: The Wilderness Survivalist

This Sim prefers living off the grid and mastering survival skills in the wild.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Loner, Self-Assured

Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Herbalism and Fishing skills.

Live off the grid and avoid modern conveniences.

Adopt a pet and ensure it thrives in the wilderness.

Generation 12: The Family Legacy Keeper

This generation focuses on preserving the family legacy and ensuring the well-being of future generations.

Traits: Family-Oriented, Ambitious, Good

Aspiration: Successful Lineage

Goals:

Reach level 10 in the Parenting and Charisma skills.

Have at least four children.

Adopt a pet and ensure it becomes part of the family legacy.

Conclusion

Complete all the goals for each generation to successfully finish the "Diverse Lifestyles" Legacy Challenge. Enjoy the journey and create lasting memories with your Sims and their beloved pets!

#sims 4 legacy challenge #sims 4 #sims 4 legacy

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biwrites · 3 months ago

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Picking A Side (of the Closet Door)

I’m bisexual. (wow…who knew)

Those words have never been spoken by me to most of the people in my life. I am currently in the difficult situation of being half-in half-out of the closet. To trusted friends and coworkers, I am out and proudly identifying as bi. I wear a pride pin at work, I talk openly about my sexuality on my social medias.

On the other hand, to my family, and those who might jeopardize my safety, I’m still in the closet. I’ve gotten very good at swiftly removing my pin one-handed if I see a family member, or someone I just don’t want to know, enter my workplace. I don’t talk about my sexuality on social media accounts tied to my real name or personal life. It was a big step for me when I wrote openly about my experiences as a queer person during my time at college, and terrifying when I got onstage and read some of my pieces. That night, I told my family I didn’t want them to come, that they wouldn’t like the event anyways (they wouldn't have), and that I might not even read. My family had always supported my writing in the past, and encouraged me to take it seriously, even though I wasn’t pursuing it as my main career path. In another life, it would have meant the world to have them there too, like they had been many times before, but that wasn’t the life I was living, so I took the stage alone.

This tension between the safety of the closet and the freedom of being out has appeared before in my life, but never more sharply than now. I currently cannot safely come out for many reasons, but to remain fully closeted might kill me. The more I peek out of the closet door, the more I am visible…and that’s terrifying. I’m fully aware that I am taking risks, that someday the Good Straight Girl front I’ve worn for the last 22 years will fall, and that I may not be able to choose when it does (though I sorely hope I do). I care deeply about queer activism and community but have often felt like a traitor to the cause. How can I advocate being loud and proud when I am neither of those things myself? How can I access community when I have to watch over my shoulder to be sure nobody’s caught me in a picture at a local queer event? This internal conflict is compounded even more now that I have a partner who is out. For a bit, (even though I absolutely am not) I even felt like a worse partner for it.

So, why am I writing this?

This Bi Visibility Month, I want to extend a hand to my fellow closeted bi and pansexuals. I want to let you know that you’re not alone, and that you are no less queer for keeping yourself safe. It’s already difficult to feel visible as a bi+ person, and it can be extremely discouraging when you have the extra layer of the closet on top of that. We have made many advancements as a community over the last few decades, and it is incredible that as many people are able to be out and proud in their identities. If you are someone who isn’t ready to come out, isn’t able to come out, or if you’re like me and are only able to be partially out, you are just as important to our community as anyone else. You aren’t betraying anyone, and you aren’t being indecisive. There are many ways to celebrate behind closet doors! We’ve been doing it for centuries, and some beautiful queer culture comes from the small ways we make ourselves visible to those who know. (This is the reason I will always have a soft spot for even our silliest little inside jokes) You can absolutely date from within the closet, and I promise you that you can have happy and fulfilling relationships the same as anyone else! Most importantly, find the people who support you and make you feel welcome, whether online or offline. Take time for yourself, and your mental wellbeing. Being closeted is often deeply painful, and it is important to keep your mental health at the top of your priorities. Cuff your jeans or eat some lemon bars or buy the frog tee shirt or paint your nails pink purple and blue or whatever other silly little things make you feel bi enough…because you are always bi enough.

#writing #queer writers #writers on tumblr #bisexual #bisexual pride #bi visibility month #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #pansexual #queer

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queer-and-nerdy · 1 year ago

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this has been tumbling around in my mind for the last week so now i have to expose all of you to it. shoutout to @wellgoslowly for listening to this in person

lockwood LOVES listening to classic rock and metal (as well as a few older pop-punk but he'll never admit to it). anything from the seventies and eighties (he pretends that no other era of metal exists and if you even say the phrase "nu metal" around him he WILL see red and draw his rapier). it doesn't matter who the band is or what subgenre they are, as long as the song was released pre-nineties he loves it, although he tends to prefer more mainstream bands and artists (respect) like ozzy osbourne, judas priest, kiss, etc. the only band he will break this rule for is metallica - they are his all-time favorite band and i will die on that hill. and when i say he WORSHIPS james hetfield... that is an UNDERSTATEMENT. james is like a pseudo-father to him. he doesn't want to put posters on his walls so he keeps a scrapbook of pictures cut out of old magazines of james, lars, kirk, cliff, even jason and rob. he is a number one dave mustaine hater and will defend lars's drumming skills until he's blue in the face. lucy got him a signed copy of ride the lightning for his birthday one year and george didn't see either of them leave lockwood's room for a week. there are only three things he loves in this world: his family, his friends, and james hetfield.

lucy, i feel like, has the most whiplash taste in music. like, yes, we can all agree lucy is your average indie pop listener and i am a major supporter of that hc (i know what linnie’s playlists sound like) but i guarantee you when she shuffles her most-listened-to playlist it goes from crane wives immediately to cannibal corpse. she loves death metal, deathcore, goregrind; the nastier the better (except for black metal - iykyk). the era doesn’t matter to her either although she tends to gravitate toward the older stuff. think opeth, cryptosy, morbid angel, deicide, obituary, venom, slayer, even xavlegimaofffassssitimiwoanindutroabcwapwaeiippohfffx - she loves playing the “can i figure out the name of the band given the logo” game and if she loses she listens to them. she finds it a great way to unleash her stress and anger without hurting herself or others or even taking it out on a case. she doesn't like to mosh (autism) but she loves watching people in the pit at concerts. she drags lockwood and george to the store to help her pick out plushies to give to corpsegrinder. one night she goes to a taylor swift concert and rushes out at the end to make it to sanguisugabogg in time. she's also a big female-rage/female-led fan (fem supporting fem yk how it is). if there is even a single fem-presenting band member she is instantly ride-or-die (within reason, of course). any time conquer divide/castrator/cyrpta do an eu tour she essentially becomes a roadie.

george. oh, george. my beloved kin. the only one who understands me and i him. his taste in rock and metal is... i don't know a better way to describe it other than neurodivergent fruity. it needs to have some kind of element to it that he can latch onto other than just the music - costumes, over-the-top production, detailed lore, etc. like lockwood, he doesn't really care about the subgenre; as long as he likes the sound he'll listen. he tends to frequent more of the nu/prog/melodic/symphonic side of metal, though. he's your average autistic ghost fan and makes it everyone else's problem. he knows all the lore and has dedicated his life to every incarnation of papa (primo is his favorite but he loves them all). he can tell the ghouls in every era apart in an instant and is a consistent quintessence ghoul kinnie. he will not hesitate to get into twitter beef to defend his opinions (bro's in the trenches of toxic ghostwt). he's one of the most well-known ghost accounts on every social media platform and actively writes fanfiction (about the characters, NOT the real people), character analyses, and essays. he's also a HUGE sleep token fan (he understands their lore better than vessel himself and has created a youtube commentary channel just to break down each of their songs) and ice nine kills fan (he's a number one ricky armellino lover and has forced lockwood and lucy to watch all of the horror movies that the silver scream one and two are based off of). he loves avatar and made his own ringmaster costume (lucy walked in on him trying to recreate johannes's makeup and slowly backed out of the room; the situation was never mentioned again) and when chris motionless unveiled his new hair he screamed so loud that the others thought someone had broken into portland row (lockwood had to restrain him while lucy hid his laptop to prevent him from ordering purple hair dye). he has a ziplock bag of (definitely expired) marshmallows that he calls his “rammstein concert care package.” he pretends to be a gatekeeper but the instant someone mentions even a passing interest in any of his favorite bands he will burst into tears.

skull enjoys smooth jazz.

#big fan of projection in this house #they all listen to rock and metal but none of their subgenres overlap #and i love them for that #george's paragraph is just an autobiography #i've been diagnosed with chronic george karim kinnie syndrome. it's incurable #this went off the rails so sorry #metalhead aaron’s hcs strike again #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george karim #netflix lockwood and co #lockwood netflix #lockwood and co #anthony bloody lockwood #save lockwood and co #queer-and-nerdy

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thekimspoblog · 9 months ago

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FotD 1:

@joshgoodman: Thinking of some ideas currently; I've had this one circling my head. Somehow kim and Jim find themselves camping out like the kettlemans did (without the stolen money) to avoid being found by (insert threat here). Iris and fille are around 8 and 6 respectively

Me: That'd be cute! Fighting with trying to set up the tent, Kim would probably do most of it; Jimmy's threatening to slip a disk. Fille keeps asking what the hell we're actually doing out here. Iris tells her not to ask stupid questions.

"Iris, don't call your sister stupid"

"I'm not! I said her question was! There's a difference!"

Did they bring any food?

Me: In my timeline, one of the main tragic things is how this life weighs on Kim's sanity. She never really got over the trauma of the cartel following her back in '04, that's when the sheepdog dreams started; that's when she started believing in God, simply because she felt like someone or something was watching her and plotting against her at all times. Especially after Jimmy dies, paranoia really starts to consume her. She becomes a powerful mob boss nearing the end of her life, but no amount of security measures bring her peace of mind. Once Jimmy's out of the picture, things start to get a little Howard Hughes.

But yeah, even while he's around, he is sometimes worried she's getting neurotic, but it's not like he can't empathize; he never stopped looking over his shoulder either. Out here in the woods, every rustle in the grass could be a mountain lion or worse.

Him: They brought enough food for a week, but then they'd have to catch and cook their own. Which Jimmy might have an issue with. I think a mountain lion would be the least of their worries, it can be scared away; a cartel member with a gun/intent to hurt kim/her family isn't as easily scared away.

Me: Why do you think Jimmy would have a problem? Just not very good at hunting/fishing?

Kim considered taking a gun, but they both decided it would create more problems than it would solve. Even if Fille or Iris don't play with it, firing off a wild shot into the bushes could be a really bad idea; they're hiding from the law on fraud/extortion/other non violent charges. If she accidentally shot a cop who was coming to arrest them, now they're both back to looking at life. Not losing custody is always the top priority.

Even killing a "Made" man/woman would just incite retaliation. If the mafia kills them, best to just pray they'll spare the kids. Starting a shoot out would just be loud and dangerous.

I guess if they really believed the kids were in danger, they would have to give them up and leave them with someone, but thankfully it's never come to that.

Him: Based off of Jimmy's character, I'd think he'd have a terrible time hunting and fishing, yea. Also, he might have an issue with killing the animal he's able to retrieve.

I think kim would settle for a bow? Not sure if she has an archery background; iris would LOVE that. Fille could care less. But who would they leave them with, is the question? Mike is dead, so is dawson. The church is questionable

Me: I don't think Jimmy would have a problem killing an animal. He might be squeamish, but he was never a pacifist or vegetarian.

Highly doubt they would have thought to bring archery supplies. If they run out of food, they should just head back into town.

And when all else fails, they always have the option to call a social worker themselves. They REALLY don't want to do that, they've been trying to keep the kids safe off the grid. But nothing is worth endangering their lives. Even Fille would be unhappy in that arrangement.

Pretty sure "My parents only abandoned me because they're traveling con artists. But they promised they were coming back once the mob boss is dead" is foster home for "please beat me up for telling such outrageous lies".

Iris would look out for Fille, but who's looking out for poor Iris? In the eyes of any conformist parent or teacher, Iris would be labeled a troubled child with behavioral issues. Even if their foster parents accepted their queerness, and that's a big if, nobody's going to listen to their indoctrination about the reasons shoplifting is a public good. Probably end up getting put on Ritalin or some shit.

Still, as long as Iris knew where they came from, why they feel this way all the time,they could at least try to fit in. In the timeline where Iris was born in 2005 and Kim gave them up out of guilt for what happened to Howard, Iris's life was terrible; just grew up confused and angry. Tarzan might not know what a human is, but he would still know he wasn't an ape. Kim saw these futures; even aborting them would be less cruel than leaving them to be raised by someone else. Iris needed their parents; they were the only ones who understood, the only ones who could shape this overgrown hedge of wild energy into a countercultural topiary. No matter what other childhood trauma they absorbed, the worst thing you could ever do is leave them without direction or purpose.

Him: Squeamish, that's the word I was looking for. But if it comes to survival, what wouldn't he do for his family?

Him: I wonder if the social worker would be an option? Kim wouldn't want to put the kids through that, they would find the best option one way or another.

Ah yes, Ritalin. Or as I like to call it, the zombie drug. That shit doesn't work and fuck any doctor who puts kids on it

Me: No matter what happens, at least Iris and Fille have eachother. It's not that Fille can't feel that Wexler-McGill blood in their veins; Fille is different from Iris by choice, not nature. But as the youngest in the family, as the last one always in pool when it comes to mischief, she can see how recklessness never leads to anything good.

Fille is better at pretending to be a "good kid" but she'd still feel deeply alone without her big sibling.

If she was left alone, Fille would probably be a troublemaker too. She's only such a square and a goody-goody because that's the only way she could have rebelled in a family of rebels.

Him: Ah, so fille chooses to be a goody two shoes because that's not what people expect when they see that family.

I don't think they would be apart for long, even separated by the foster care system if it came to that. Those two would always find a way back to each other

Me: Main problem is Jimmy and Kim don't want to admit failure a first time, because CPS is going to be breathing down their neck from then onward. For some reason, as long as the kids are biologically yours, most bizarre parenting choices are accepted as long as the government hasn't already labeled you a bad mother.

When Love Quinn was brought back by Dolores, the thing she wanted most was to see Henry again. But Dante and Lansing are good dads, and showing up in Henry's life now would just upset and confuse him. Admitting that she deserved to lose custody of her son was the hardest thing she's had to do, but it's for the best to just move on, try to be better moving forward.

Him: Do Love and Henry ever reunite? Or are those days behind them?

Me: Probably when Henry is older.

Iris probably would ask for archery lessons after reading the Hunger Games. Iris was always outdoorsy, but this probably is just a phase.

Him: What kind of phase would fille go through, if you had to guess?

Me: Well both siblings do have an interest in music. Iris learned to play the guitar from Jimmy; Fille would probably go ahead and find herself a piano teacher.

Him: I feel like iris would also take an interest in drums, maybe?

Me: Sounds about right.

I mean Jimmy and Kim want to encourage their hobbies. This is what the money is for.

Him: Iris would take an interest in archery, drums, and guitar while fille does piano, and maybe...swimming?

Me: Yes Fille loves the ocean. Probably cus of that goldfish soul.

Him: Ooh! Kayaking!

Me: I think Iris would be more into motor boats

Him: Boats are fun. Maybe they could take a vacation to the great lakes/some type of beach.

FotD 2:

Me: I guess yesterday I was also thinking about them making a big score, and then taking the kids shopping for new clothes. The kids complain, but it's still fun dressing them up like little dolls.

Him: I didn't think iris would go for that? Maybe fille

Me: Well Iris has always loved dress up, but plain clothes shopping is always a little boring for kids.

Me: Kim saying "Try this one on. It's a little bit big but you'll grow into it... hmm no; that's actually too big, you'll be tripping and face planting all over"

Me: But yes, those two love shopping for the family. I mean Jimmy and Kim have been eachothers gay best friend stereotypes since all the way back to law school, but the last time they actually spent a substantial amount of money like this was a few years ago at Babies-R-Us. Since leaving the church, it's mostly been consignment shops. Nothing fancy that wasn't secondhand.

Which is why they want to get each of the four of them a new outfit that will last for next few years

Him: I don't think jim + kim would contribute to chains if they didn't have to. Always choosing places like goodwill over walmart

Me: Nah they'd still go somewhere nice. Kim's love for shiny things outweighs her communist sympathies.

She wants to pretend she's not materialistic, but low-maintenance bitches don't drink thousand dollar tequila or wear real gold.

I mean Goodwill is fine and all, but this is Prada man! She's only human!

Honestly Kim's hypocrisy with how she identifies with class I think is a really interesting facet of her personality.

This is why wealth redistribution campaigns always fail: first of all, in order to adequately navigate the upper class, the revolutionary already typically needs a middle class education or better. And second, even if an army does manage to steal from the rich, the leader finds it hard to actually give those winnings to the poor instead of just pocketing it. Kim hates rich people... except for herself; that person is a lucid and benevolent matriarch who DESERVES to be managing the money!

#FotD #mcwexler parenthood au #slippin kimmy

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c3stlav1e · 9 months ago

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ basics

♡ . stage name: sol

♡ . birth name: kang seolah

♡ . birthday: oct 12, 1994

♡ . zodiac: libra

♡ . birthplace: daegu, south korea

♡ . ethnicity: korean

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ personal

♡ . personality

growing up in a household with traditionally conservative values, one of the first things seolah learned was to appease. she is all about being neutral and realistic, sticking to the middle of the road 9 times out of 10. the argument between nature and nurture can surely be made, but much of her knack for people pleasing nowadays comes from her genuine want to make people happy or keep the peace whether or not it’s exactly what she wants. she’s very good at keeping a cool head and generally has a very calm presence that her friends and members have noted they value in their chaotic industry. she’s typically never one to take big risks and can be rather indecisive. some feel that she is boring, but once you get to know her, she is a steady and reliable presence in each of her friends’ lives.

♡ . family

. han junghee ; grandmother

. kang youngchul ; grandfather

. kang sunmi ; mother

♡ . physical

. height: 160 cm ( 5’3” )

. faceclaim: kang seulgi

. body mods: double lobe piercings and a cartilage piercing on her right ear

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ professional

♡ . label: rainbow entertainment

♡ . training period: 2 years

♡ . group position: leader, main vocalist

♡ . idol persona

seolah is a natural leader, taking a very nurturing and motherly attitude in her role, especially being the oldest. she is the peacemaker and the role model, keeping all of her ducks in a row. she has a more shy and quiet disposition on variety shows or interviews, and is typically found sitting back and watching the other members have fun or answer questions with an admiring gaze rather than jumping in herself. she is often called referred to as the mom of the group by fans and this is proven in the little ways she cares for her members that are often caught on camera such as feeding them or encouraging them through practice or on stage. sometimes she plays up the motherly role with lovies as well, using her socials to ask how they’re days have been or asking of they’ve eaten yet. this isn’t to say that it’s all she’s known for, her powerful vocals capturing the attention of fans and non-fans alike. she frequently appears on singing shows or posting covers to her instagram story to show off her talents. several of her covers have gone viral, some even calling her the kelly clarkson of kpop. she is also the most likely member to be singing or humming something random at any point in the day, many behind the scenes videos featuring few scenes of her actually talking to the camera, but plenty of her singing in the background of other members’ clips.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ history tw ; religious trauma, grooming, homophobia

born to young parents caught up in the wrong scene, she spent a majority of her life raised by her religious grandparents after her mother left her with them one night and never returned for her again. she grew up going to church every sunday, attending a christian private school, and praying at every meal and each night before bed. in fact, she first discovered her love for singing in church, joining the choir as soon as she could.

she quickly rose to the top of the pedestal in the choir, her talent and ambitions making her stand out amongst the crowd and earned her solo after solo. while she could do it on her own, she also had the help of one of the lead choir directors, a middle aged man in the church community. he called her special and often offered her “special lessons” disguising his grooming her. his special treatment of her became obvious to the rest of the choir and she earned her fair share of hatred from her fellow members.

as long as she could remember, seolah was infatuated by another girl in the choir who was two years older than her. she was beautiful and talented and was the star of the show. as she climbed the ranks, the two were constantly pit against each other in competition. however, they managed to become close, confiding in each other, and forming a friendship despite the imposed competition between them. but when seolah finally confided in her the abuse that she was facing at the hands of the director, the older girl felt misplaced jealousy, having been groomed the same way by the same man. the girl told the church that seolah had kissed her after practice one day, she was effectively kicked from the choir and ostracized by the church.

her grandparents were both mortified and livid at the news. after some convincing that it was all a lie, they eventually believed seolah, but they became even stricter afterwards. she attended church nearly everyday and was frequently made to attend confessional.

she auditioned for rainbow ent in secret after receiving a card from a scout at one of the choir’s holiday recitals just before she was kicked out. she made the 2 hour trip by train, telling her grandparents she was attending a church volunteer trip. when she was accepted, she was both overjoyed and terrified to finally break the news to her grandparents. as she predicted, they were incredibly angry when she brought it up with them. they hated the idol lifestyle and all it stood for, beginning even at the name “idol,” and told her they would have nothing to do with it in their home. however, growing sick of living under their iron fist, she took the biggest risk she’s ever taken and chose to pursue being a trainee over her relationship with them.

they still have a complicated relationship even after years of immense success, and have only spoken a few times since she first left. she still attempts to call them on any major religious holidays, but she only sometimes gets an answer. her mother has reached out to her again since a few years after their debut, somewhat attempting to repair her role in her life, however every time she asks for money it is set back once more.

although she’s endured a rough road in regards to her faith and her family, the family she has built with her group members and her friends have filled much of the hole in her heart. she has slowly come to terms with her sexuality over the years with the help of her found family and her current girlfriend, sunnie. despite what she’s been through, she wouldn’t give up her life now and all of the people she has come to love for the world.

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dogcodedcatboy · 10 months ago

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pre relationship: 3, general: 3, 6, love: 10, 13, domestic life: 7 !!

hihihihihihi !!!! i cant wait to start s2 tonight i need to see my kittycat i need to see him !!!!! thank u for always sending asks my aaroman warrior o7 u should rb this ask game 2 so i can pelt u w waystarshipping and jermstone questions

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

absolutely fucking not!!!!!!

by the time any of the roys find out its too late, theyre already very much together. i think the fam knows abt aaron before 04x03 and like, willingly keeps him a secret (have 2 believe none of them would out a family member for personal gain. if not just to avoid the shitstorm for logan). some of them wuld obviously would prefer for roman to a) not be gay or b) at least not be dating a Fucking Weirdo. oh well!

aarons friends are also not. thrilled. for obvious reasons. reactions range from 'ok...u r gold digging, right? does this mean we can afford a hot tub :D' to 'morally/ethically what the Actual fuck is wrong with you bro???'

What was their first kiss like?

hmm the first time they kiss probably an impulsive. half-drunken thing. prolly after their first '''date''' (which roman insists is not a date despite calling him up and inviting him for dinner and drinks). it's rlly messy, roman is kind of an awful kisser at first (out of practice #nobitches) so aaron is kinda like...ok....but it's very endearing somehow.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

i could write a dissertation on. aaron and the roys. i think he's...polite? i mean, he knows roman is super close to them despite how fockin shitty they are to him all the time, so he's willing to grin and bear it. he doesnt like ken for Reasons (annoying on twitter, involvement in 'dog pound', annoying in real life)*, he's rightfully intimidated by shiv, he thinks connor is rlly fuckin funny, he has a weird psychosexual obsession w tom (as stated, would put tom in a saw trap), he thinks greg is cool and would like to talk about his record collection w him.

*authors footnote: i personally like kendall a lot i do love the fucked up brother dynamic between ken and rome BUT aaron is protective and an asshole and doesnt care abt nuance if youre mean to his boyfriend you go to the gulag for 1000 years ! aarons friends are hsi family! he lives w his childhood + college besties! they are all spectacular assholes as well so roman weirdly fits in! roman likes aarons bff because he is also a snarky asshole. one of aaron's college friends actually is from LA, so that's another person he can relate to somewhat. ovi he's a rich asshole tho and like, has to adapt to how normal people live and socialize (aaron and his friends arent even normal theyre like a weirdly codependent found family) but. they all kind come around to him! (will post extended oc universe lore someday on god)

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

i think they both are kinda stupid abt feelings and prefer physical affection, as sometimes its easier to manage than like, pouring your heart out. aaron is big on words of affirmation tho, once they r more comfy in their relationship/roman is more comfortable w receiving stuff like that.

Who remembers the little things?

aaron is def a romantic, he's big on anniversaries, quick to pick up little things like roman's coffee order, his favorite snacks, etc. roman is a little rusty but is surprisingly sensitive when he cares about someone. he's super in to aaron, so he makes sure to note all of aarons favorite movies and albums (so he can bring them up later and Totally sound like he knows what he's talking about).

[also they r a beautiful ocd (aaron) x adhd (roman) couple so in general aaron is Incredibly on top of things (or else he might die, who knows!) while roman is a fockin mess with remembering shit.]

Who kills the bugs in the house?

the real answer is gustav. he eats them. aaron will hold the cat up and he will take care of business.

#📬 mail #me when my answered asks are so unbearably long #sorry im like this guys #it will happen again #jerome 🎥

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uncloseted · 2 months ago

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sorry if this is too personal, but what are some things (both material and not) that you find essential to your overall sense of peace or happiness?

what things do you think are good to help people be happy (both material and not) I know every human is different, but we are also alike in our fundamental needs, so what do you think would help most of us be happier?

Ooh! This is a really good question, and it actually has an evidence-based answer. The things that make people happier are:

Taking good care of your body. I know this one sucks, but it makes a huge difference. If you're not eating well, sleeping well, and moving, it has a huge impact on mood. In some studies, depressed participants who exercised three times a week for 30 minutes each actually had a higher remission rate than participants taking Zoloft. So do your best to eat a nutritionally balanced diet, sleep 7-9 hours a night, and exercise for at least 90 minutes a week.

Savoring. This is about being fully present in a moment and appreciating an experience as you're having it. You can savor something by sharing the experience with another person, thinking about how lucky you are to enjoy such an amazing moment, or keeping a souvenir or photo of that activity. Make sure you stay in the present moment the entire time - try not to multitask or worry about what you have to do next. You can also try reliving happy experiences in your mind for around 10 minutes, 3 times a week.

Gratitude: This goes along with savoring, but training yourself to approach the world from a place of gratitude makes a huge difference in happiness. So try to take 5-10 minutes each night to write down five things for which you are grateful. They can be big or little, but try to get into detail about why you're grateful for them, and imagine those things in your mind as you're doing it.

Meditation: Meditation is another tried-and-true way to boost your happiness. The skills that are required for meditation also make it easier to be present in the moment, which in turn makes it easier to not be anxious about the future or to ruminate on the past. Meditating just 5 minutes a day can make a big difference.

Social Connection: Inevitably somebody is going to get mad at me for saying this someone always does when I bring this up, but humans wired to be social creatures. When we're isolated for too long, it really impacts our mental health. So socializing with lots of different types of people (family members, coworkers/fellow students, friends, strangers) on a regular basis, going to a social event at least once a month, and making an effort to prioritize quality social interactions (like spending an afternoon with your best friend) can really help to satisfy that need for connection.

Acts of Kindness: People are actually happier when they're doing things for other people than they are when they're doing things for themselves. Studies have shown that people who do five random acts of kindness in one day are happier than those who don't (and also those who do one act of kindness every day for a week). Volunteering is the easiest way to do this one, but helping out your friends, family, or strangers also counts.

Using Strengths: People like feeling like they're good at things and that their talents matter. If you're regularly using four of your top strengths, you're more likely to feel fulfilled and to be happier overall. The Strengths Survey I like is from the VIA Character Institute

Setting and Achieving Goals: This kind of goes along with using your strengths, but people like to feel like they're growing and making progress. Having a goal that you're working toward, even if it's something small, can give you a sense of momentum and purpose in your day to day life.

Cognitive Reframing: As humans, our brains are wired to keep us alive. This means that our brains are constantly looking out for danger. But now, in our day to day lives, there's not really much actual danger for our brains to focus on, and so our brains use that same impulse to focus on the negatives of a given situation. By learning techniques to challenge our negative thoughts, we can train our brains to focus on the positives of a situation instead, making us happier overall.

Spending Time In Nature: Finally, spending time in nature has a sizable benefit for our mental health. I think part of this is because a lot of people are Vitamin D deficient, and that can lead to low mood in itself, but also because spending time in nature gets us away from all of the things we're worried about and gives us some perspective.

So, okay, all that said, what does that look like for me? I have a pretty steady sleep schedule from 12-8:30, and I've put a lot of effort into making sure that my bedroom is conducive for good sleep. I'm not the best at eating, but I do follow a mostly vegetarian Mediterranean diet, and I take supplements to make sure all my nutritional needs are being met. I'm also not the best at exercising because chronic illness, but I do have a 5 minute physical therapy routine that I do every morning, and I walk most places I go. I'm hoping that once my joints get a little stronger, I'll be able to start doing Pilates classes a couple times a week.

I try to practice savoring and gratitude throughout my day, and I have an app on my phone that gives me a daily gratitude prompt. I meditate for 10 minutes most days, although sometimes I end up not having time. I try to walk to a coffee shop every morning so that I can stretch my legs, chat with some strangers, and get outside a bit. I also make a point of seeing my best friend at least twice a month, I see my partner most days, and I've started subscribing to a service where every Wednesday night, I get matched with five random people and we have dinner together. I'm a fairly extroverted person, so I probably need a little more social interaction than what I'm doing right now, but even just adding in those dinners once a week has made a huge difference for my happiness, especially since I work from home. As far as acts of kindness go, I've been on the hunt to find a volunteer organization I really care about. But I also feel like what I do on this blog satisfies my need to be helpful most days.

When it comes to strengths, mine are: love of learning, fairness, judgement, creativity, and curiosity. This blog actually serves a lot of my needs when it comes to using my strengths, since I'm always researching something new and pursuing my curiosities, I get to engage with new perspectives and ideas, and I get to help people. I also read a lot, listen to podcasts, watch video essays and documentaries, and take classes to use my love of learning, and I try to always have some type of creative project going, although I struggle to maintain that sometimes because starting a new project is always kind of daunting. I'd like to take an in-person art class to satisfy my need to be creative and to get some more social interaction, but I haven't found one I'm really excited about taking yet. I'm also always working on a bunch of different projects, classes, and certifications, which helps me feel like I'm making progress and achieving the goals I set for myself.

I don't know if these examples are super enlightening or if I've just kind of been yapping about myself for the last three paragraphs, but those are some of the ways I've been trying to take a more thoughtful approach to my happiness and well-being.

Edit: I meant to mention this in my original post, but if you're interested in the science of happiness and well-being, there's a really great Yale course called "The Science of Well-Being" that's available for free on Coursera. It's where I learned most of this information, and it's made a huge difference in my life.

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dailyanarchistposts · 3 months ago

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B.7.4 What do anarchists mean by “class consciousness”?

Given that the existence of classes is often ignored or considered unimportant (“boss and worker have common interests”) in mainstream culture, its important to continually point out the facts of the situation: that a wealthy elite run the world and the vast majority are subjected to hierarchy and work to enrich this elite. To be class conscious means that we are aware of the objective facts and act appropriately to change them.

This is why anarchists stress the need for “class consciousness,” for recognising that classes exist and that their interests are in conflict. The reason why this is the case is obvious enough. As Alexander Berkman argues, “the interests of capital and labour are not the same. No greater lie was ever invented than the so-called ‘identity of interests’ [between capital and labour] … labour produces all the wealth of the world … [and] capital is owned by the masters is stolen property, stolen products of labour. Capitalist industry is the process of continuing to appropriate the products of labour for the benefit of the master class … It is clear that your interests as a worker are different from the interests of your capitalistic masters. More than different: they are entirely opposite; in fact, contrary, antagonistic to each other. The better wages the boss pays you, the less profit he makes out of you. It does not require great philosophy to understand that.” [What is Anarchism?, pp. 75–6]

That classes are in conflict can be seen from the post-war period in most developed countries. Taking the example of the USA, the immediate post-war period (the 1950s to the 1970s) were marked by social conflict, strikes and so forth. From the 1980s onwards, there was a period of relative social peace because the bosses managed to inflict a series of defeats on the working class. Workers became less militant, the trade unions went into a period of decline and the success of capitalism proclaimed. If the interests of both classes were the same we would expect that all sections of society would have benefited more in the 1980s onwards than between the 1950s to 1970s. This is not the case. While income grew steadily across the board between 1950 and 1980s, since then wealth has flooded up to the top while those at the bottom found it harder to make ends meet.

A similar process occurred in the 1920s when Alexander Berkman stated the obvious:

“The masters have found a very effective way to paralyse the strength of organised labour. They have persuaded the workers that they have the same interests as the employers … that what is good for the employer is good for his employees … [that] the workers will not think of fighting their masters for better conditions, but they will be patient and wait till the employer can ‘share his prosperity’ with them. They will also consider the interests of ‘their’ country and they will not ‘disturb industry’ and the ‘orderly life of the community’ by strikes and stoppage of work. If you listen to your exploiters and their mouthpieces you will be ‘good’ and consider only the interests of your masters, of your city and country — but no one cares about your interests and those of your family, the interests of your union and of your fellow workers of the labouring class. ‘Don’t be selfish,’ they admonish you, while the boss is getting rich by your being good and unselfish. And they laugh in their sleeves and thank the Lord that you are such an idiot.” [Op. Cit., pp. 74–5]

So, in a nutshell, class consciousness is to look after your own interest as a member of the working class. To be aware that there is inequality in society and that you cannot expect the wealthy and powerful to be concerned about anyone’s interest except their own. That only by struggle can you gain respect and an increased slice of the wealth you produce but do not own. And that there is “an irreconcilable antagonism” between the ruling class and working class “which results inevitably from their respective stations in life.” The riches of the former are “based on the exploitation and subjugation of the latter’s labour” which means “war between” the two “is unavoidable.” For the working class desires “only equality” while the ruling elite “exist[s] only through inequality.” For the latter, “as a separate class, equality is death” while for the former “the least inequality is slavery.” [Bakunin, The Basic Bakunin, p. 97 and pp. 91–2]

Although class analysis may at first appear to be a novel idea, the conflicting interests of the classes is well recognised on the other side of the class divide. For example, James Madison in the Federalist Paper #10 states that “those who hold and those who are without have ever formed distinct interests in society.” For anarchists, class consciousness means to recognise what the bosses already know: the importance of solidarity with others in the same class position as oneself and of acting together as equals to attain common goals. The difference is that the ruling class wants to keep the class system going while anarchists seek to end it once and for all.

It could therefore be argued that anarchists actually want an “anti-class” consciousness to develop — that is, for people to recognise that classes exist, to understand why they exist, and act to abolish the root causes for their continued existence (“class consciousness,” argues Vernon Richards, “but not in the sense of wanting to perpetuate classes, but the consciousness of their existence, an understanding of why they exist, and a determination, informed by knowledge and militancy, to abolish them.” [The Impossibilities of Social Democracy, p. 133]). In short, anarchists want to eliminate classes, not universalise the class of “wage worker” (which would presuppose the continued existence of capitalism).

More importantly, class consciousness does not involve “worker worship.” To the contrary, as Murray Bookchin points out, ”[t]he worker begins to become a revolutionary when he undoes his [or her] ‘workerness’, when he [or she] comes to detest his class status here and now, when he begins to shed… his work ethic, his character-structure derived from industrial discipline, his respect for hierarchy, his obedience to leaders, his consumerism, his vestiges of puritanism.” [Post-Scarcity Anarchism, p. 119] For, in the end, anarchists “cannot build until the working class gets rid of its illusions, its acceptance of bosses and faith in leaders.” [Marie-Louise Berneri, Neither East Nor West, p. 19]

It may be objected that there are only individuals and anarchists are trying to throw a lot of people in a box and put a label like “working class” on them. In reply, anarchists agree, yes, there are “only” individuals but some of them are bosses, most of them are working class. This is an objective division within society which the ruling class does its best to hide but which comes out during social struggle. And such struggle is part of the process by which more and more oppressed people subjectivity recognise the objective facts. And by more and more people recognising the facts of capitalist reality, more and more people will want to change them.

Currently there are working class people who want an anarchist society and there are others who just want to climb up the hierarchy to get to a position where they can impose their will to others. But that does not change the fact that their current position is that they are subjected to the authority of hierarchy and so can come into conflict with it. And by so doing, they must practise self-activity and this struggle can change their minds, what they think, and so they become radicalised. This, the radicalising effects of self-activity and social struggle, is a key factor in why anarchists are involved in it. It is an important means of creating more anarchists and getting more and more people aware of anarchism as a viable alternative to capitalism.

Ultimately, it does not matter what class you are, it’s what you believe in that matters. And what you do. Hence we see anarchists like Bakunin and Kropotkin, former members of the Russian ruling class, or like Malatesta, born into an Italian middle class family, rejecting their backgrounds and its privileges and becoming supporters of working class self-liberation. But anarchists base their activity primarily on the working class (including peasants, self-employed artisans and so on) because the working class is subject to hierarchy and so have a real need to resist to exist. This process of resisting the powers that be can and does have a radicalising effect on those involved and so what they believe in and what they do changes. Being subject to hierarchy, oppression and exploitation means that it is in the working class people’s “own interest to abolish them. It has been truly said that ‘the emancipation of the workers must be accomplished by the workers themselves,’ for no social class will do it for them … It is … the interest of the proletariat to emancipate itself from bondage … It is only be growing to a true realisation of their present position, by visualising their possibilities and powers, by learning unity and co-operation, and practising them, that the masses can attain freedom.” [Alexander Berkman, Op. Cit., pp. 187–8]

We recognise, therefore, that only those at the bottom of society have a self-interest in freeing themselves from the burden of those at the top, and so we see the importance of class consciousness in the struggle of oppressed people for self-liberation. Thus, ”[f]ar from believing in the messianic role of the working class, the anarchists’ aim is to abolish the working class in so far as this term refers to the underprivileged majority in all existing societies… What we do say is that no revolution can succeed without the active participation of the working, producing, section of the population… The power of the State, the values of authoritarian society can only be challenged and destroyed by a greater power and new values.” [Vernon Richards, The Raven, no. 14, pp. 183–4] Anarchists also argue that one of the effects of direct action to resist oppression and exploitation of working class people would be the creation of such a power and new values, values based on respect for individual freedom and solidarity (see sections J.2 and J.4 on direct action and its liberating potential).

As such, class consciousness also means recognising that working class people not only have an interest in ending its oppression but that we also have the power to do so. “This power, the people’s power,” notes Berkman, “is actual: it cannot be taken away, as the power of the ruler, of the politician, or of the capitalist can be. It cannot be taken away because it does not consist of possessions but in ability. It is the ability to create, to produce; the power that feeds and clothes the world, that gives us life, health and comfort, joy and pleasure.” The power of government and capital “disappear when the people refuse to acknowledge them as masters, refuse to let them lord it over them.” This is “the all-important economic power” of the working class. [Op. Cit., p. 87, p. 86 and p. 88]

This potential power of the oppressed, anarchist argue, shows that not only are classes wasteful and harmful, but that they can be ended once those at the bottom seek to do so and reorganise society appropriately. This means that we have the power to transform the economic system into a non-exploitative and classless one as “only a productive class may be libertarian in nature, because it does not need to exploit.” [Albert Meltzer, Anarchism: Arguments For and Against, p. 23]

Finally, it is important to stress that anarchists think that class consciousness must also mean to be aware of all forms of hierarchical power, not just economic oppression. As such, class consciousness and class conflict is not simply about inequalities of wealth or income but rather questioning all forms of domination, oppression and exploitation.

For anarchists, ”[t]he class struggle does not centre around material exploitation alone but also around spiritual exploitation, … [as well as] psychological and environmental oppression.” [Bookchin, Op. Cit., p. 151] This means that we do not consider economic oppression to be the only important thing, ignoring struggles and forms of oppression outside the workplace. To the contrary, workers are human beings, not the economically driven robots of capitalist and Leninist mythology. They are concerned about everything that affects them — their parents, their children, their friends, their neighbours, their planet and, very often, total strangers.

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