#on the relationship level (watching people try to process that with the fact that we are adamant we’re not dating)

[trashpremiium]

being in a relationship that doesn’t really use labels (or uses them very loosely) is so silly because i can choose what to call my partner based on whatever is funniest at the time.

explaining this to people is like. they aren’t my girlfriend, because we’re not dating. she is, however, my boyfriend. hope this helps

[bekolxeram]

During this hiatus, other than rewatching S7 for cute moments that we missed and coming up with headconons and new fic ideas, may I suggest going back to actually read/watch/listen to interviews with the cast?

Certain more dedicated members of the fandom tend to overfixate on one single sentence or even word the cast uttered and ignore all context around it. Sure, some of them might came into it with an agenda (like many journalists did sadly) and confirmation bias took care of the rest of it, but at the same time, who has time to read pages of disjointed chat with actors improvising answers without full knowledge of the production side of the show?

I've seen people proving Eddie's queerness by this quote from Lou's interview with the Hollywood Reporter in April:

This alone has been interpreted all sorts of ways, from Ryan not accepting this storyline (which doesn't make him homophobic btw, he could've simply not seen Eddie's story going this way, or he thought he wasn't equipped to do this storyline justice), to Buck's LIs not agreeing to come back because of scheduling conflict, to the writers just thought it was more appropriate for Buck to be queer.

I'm not here to speculate anything, I'm just going to point out earlier in the same interview, Lou also said he always knew this storyline would be with Oliver:

I don't know what's going on here, Lou might have insider information, but it also could be him just speculating over Tommy and Eddie's quickly formed friendship. To my knowledge, Tim has never confirmed that Tommy's queer storyline would be with Eddie before it supposedly fell through. In fact, Tim did say once it felt like Buck's story:

And then there's Lou's supposed dislike of filming make out scenes:

I do agree with him that gratuitous scenes on TV are unnecessary. I can't even count how many times I'm watching TV with my family when a graphic sex scene comes on unprompted, and my family members and I have to try our best to pretend we don't see it. But he also said that he didn't like it only when it didn't add to the story. Like we saw in 7x06, Lou gladly rubbed his face into Oliver's because this is how Buck came out.

There's also the part most people skipped through when Lou talked about the 7x04 kiss:

Lou (and everyone involved in the storyline) doesn't want Tommy to seem predatory. I have no idea if it's a reference to a possible earlier version of the script with an Eddie bi awakening instead of a Buck one. What I'm getting is that Lou and Tim tried to avoid playing into the stereotype of gay men hanging around knowingly straight men just to get into their pants.

And boy was Lou right. If they went for a full make out scene, the fandom discourse would've been so different. Naysayers wouldn't have been latching onto bachelor party costume or daddy issue joke. It would've led to much more serious allegations.

I'm happy it all worked out in universe as well. As we've seen from the past 7 seasons, Buck has no problem getting sexual partners. In the past he tried having physical relationships with women in hopes that it would lead to an emotional one, he also tried intentionally holding off intimacy just because he thought it would get in the way of boding with someone on a humanly level. This is the first time someone picked up Buck's (unintentional?) flirting, decided to break the ambiguity (landing it like a good pilot), gave him a brief peck to test the water, and then left to give Buck time to process his feelings.

Not only was it okay for Buck, it left him wanting more.

And lastly there's the allegedly "Tommy is just Buck's gay mentor to test thing out with" thing:

But earlier in the interview, it was established that Lou said it as a response to why the other shippers should still embrace Buck and Tommy's relationship. He didn't actually know what would happen in the future:

[jokeroutsubs]

📝ENG Translation: 🆕 Bojan Cvjetićanin's interview for May 2024 issue of OnaPlus magazine.

Article written by Daša Mavrič, published in OnaPlus magazine on 03.05.2024. English translation by TT katysmusic77 proofread by IG GBoleyn123.

🗨 Bojan Cvjetićanin, Joker Out: I wasn't at ease on stage for quite a long time

The calendar causes them a lot of issues, Bojan from Joker Out admits in conversation. In one year, the boys experienced things that most of us don't get to experience in our entire lifetime. How can someone avoid mixing up the sequence of events?! Bojan Cvjetićanin is currently in Germany with Kris Guštin, Nace Jordan, Jan Peteh and Jure Maček, where they are recording their third album.

In a long distance conversation he only confirmed his professionalism, which they agreed upon simultaneously with their performance at Eurovision. "We very quickly and unanimously decided to take on the rock'n'roll lifestyle properly; for us to enjoy it, for our fans to enjoy it and to be able to enjoy it for more than a month," Bojan says.

We're talking during your process of recording the album in Hamburg, just before that, you finished the tour. The band members really spend a lot of time together. How has your relationship evolved during all the years of being in a band?

BC: The current line-up is not the original one, we switched two members. But the fact is that the intense band life began two years ago, when both new members had already joined the band. So our common home, so to speak, has only existed for about a year. A lot has changed in fact. I believe we don't even notice all of it, nor do we think about it, because we are together all the time and we filter through the changes regularly.

If I look back, I see that the relationship between us became extremely, extremely tight and a mutual trust has been formed, which can only be built when you spend as much time with someone as we do with each other. The line between our relationships has been blurred. What I'm trying to say is that the line blurred between being a friend, a band member, a colleague, it all became one thing. We are essentially a sort of organism, which evolves and changes together.

The growth of each individual is very dependent on the other four members. We really have been through a lot together; even the biggest moments of shock, which influence our feelings and thoughts, happened to us collectively, we were never alone. We have become very dependant opon one another.

Your pace of life would firstly be ascribed to a professional athlete, rather than a rockstar. And to me it seems you have set out on your career in this way consciously. There's probably no drinking, late nights out?

BC: When we started the first two Europen tours it very quickly became apparent that what we are doing is a lot more serious than people would imagine. At least for us, this is the most fun job in the world, as we get to create and play music for the people who love us. And we love them as well. Together we share these lovely feelings, which is the coolest part of this job. If we want to do this long term and at a high level, we knew that we had to take it seriously.

When you have 22 concerts in one month, you of course think that everyone who bought a ticket to your concert deserves your best performance. When you're living at an extremely demanding pace for a month, late nights out and similar things are a completely unnecessary stress and distraction for your body. We very quickly and unanimously decided to take on the rock'n'rolll lifestyle in a proper way; for us to enjoy it, for our fans to enjoy it and to be able to enjoy it for more than a month.

In the podcast for N1¹ you openly talked about your panic attack. How have you been taking care of your mental health since that episode? ¹You can watch the N1 podcast with English subtitles on our YouTube channel!

BC: This happened to me last summer when, even though I was sick, we played five or six concerts in ten days. Tiredness and probably everything that had happened to us took its toll. After Eurovision, which ended in May, we didn't turn on the emotional part of our brain, because so many things were happening so quickly, we fell into work mode. The combination of all these emotions and events probably mixed together with tiredness and illness. I wasn't really at ease on stage and continued to not be at ease on stage for quite a long time, practically a whole year. But of course to a much lesser extent and less severely. The whole team made sure that it would happen as little as possible. The boys gladly took on the responsibilities for which my presence wasn't necessary and took that burden off my shoulders. I hardly had to deal with the logistics, the bureaucracy and I left it to those, who are better qualified for it. The boys in the band and our team always make sure that everyone feels at their maximum best.

On tours that are behind you, something really fascinating happened, the fans were singing with you in Slovene. We're speaking during your process of recording the new album in Germany. Does it even matter in which language you create music?

BC: On all the tours so far it turned out that for hour and a half, people are singing our lyrics. When some of our friends from Slovenia came to one of the concerts, they really couldn't fathom what was going on, because the people around them were talking in their own languages, but when we started singing, they sang together with us. On stage, we hardly hear any details in the pronunciation through all the noise, so we don't even have the feeling that the people who are singing don't speak Slovene otherwise. We felt very at home throughout all of Europe, which was quite magical.

Regarding the recording of the third album, the songs will be in the languages in which the idea for them was sparked. When it comes to the language in which the song is created, we really don't limit ourselves.

But I can tell you that the majority of the songs will be in Serbian and in Slovene, I doubt there will be more than two, maybe three songs in English.

Who is your favourite to win this year's Eurovision song contest?

BC: To be completely honest, I haven't looked into into this year's contestants a lot. I want to hear the songs for the first time when we watch Eurovision, which will be here in the studio. I was a host at the Eurovision pre-party in Madrid and there I heard some of the songs, but I consciously moved backstage to not hear them in their entirety. I want to experience it with a neutral outlook and base my opinion on what I hear for the first time, and not after I had been listening to a song for three months and maybe even met the artist in person.

But I absolutely strongly believe in our representative Sara. I know that she sings the song live really well. And that's very, very important. I know she has the stage presence, I saw the reaction from the public after her performance in Spain and that reaction was very positive.

For now, Raiven's performance is the only one that I saw in its entirety. I want to experience the rest when Eurovision happens.

How do you look back on your Eurovision experience after one year? You are in fact the first Slovenian representative that really took advantage of it in a completely different way.

BC: Eurovision completely changed our career and our lives. It's interesting that so many things happened to us since last year that we find it hard to perceive time. The calendar represents a big problem for us (laughter). We have problems evaluating what happened three months ago, what happened seven months ago and what happened two years ago. The events get a bit mixed up. If somebody told me that three years have passed since Eurovision, I would believe them.

We had a hectic lifestyle for half a year, we fell into an extremely unique universe, which you can only really believe if you're a part of Eurovision, or if you're an avid Eurovison fan who lives for Eurovision. And there's a lot of them.

Yeah, you fall into some kind of universe and you live in a bubble, completely isolated from your surroundings. We had a blast, we enjoyed it a lot, we met so many wonderful people. Since last year, we saw half of the representatives during the tours and all of them joined us on stage.

We know and we feel, that we did a good job. We are proud of what we have done, proud of what Eurovision enabled us to do. We worked really hard, all of it was very much filled with competitive spirit, but every single moment was worth it. When the opportunity for Eurovision presented itself to us, we knew we would take it full-on, or not at all.

[acedcoffee]

Not a meaningless crush: Ochako's crush on Izuku doesn't have much to do with Izuku at all

- Vague Manga Spoilers

Many people who watch My Hero Academia go through a similar process with Ochako Uraraka’s character: they think she’s the typical Female Lead That Could Be A Love Interest, then grow to like her when some of her motivations are revealed early in Season 1, and then get annoyed by her when the latter half of Season 2 – the Final Exam Arc – puts some focus on her crush on the main character, Izuku Midoriya.

While it seems like shallow and unnecessary fanservice, this crush of her serves an actual purpose in the plot and for her character, but not in the romantic sense. In fact, I'd argue that it doesn’t have much to do with Izuku at all.

Enter Himiko Toga. Here's a comment made by Horikoshi himself:

There's a lot of similaties between them, but here we're going to focus on the crush and romance aspect, to see why Ochako's crush on Izuku was a way to establish her relationship with Toga.

Season 2: Final Exams

The first proper focus we have of Ochako’s crush on Izuku is during the second half of season 2 - first during her final exam, and later in the final episode at the shopping mall.

Toga is also properly introduced to us during these episodes, although we see a glimpses of her (and Dabi) earlier in the Season.

Season 3: The Training Camp

This is where it really starts, as Ochako and Toga meet for the first time.

Tsuyu is also at the scene, and Toga shows an interest in both of then, referring to both of them as “cute”,

But she focuses more on Ochako, saying something along the lines of her sensing that Ochako has a crush on someone, which of course, was shown to us in the earlier episodes.

Tsuyu doesn’t have a crush on anyone, and thus recieves a little less of Toga’s attention.

A major point established about Toga’s character is that when she likes someone, she doesn’t only want to become like that person, but actually become that person.

As shown to us before, Ochako has a pretty high level of respect and admiration towards Izuku.

Toga notices this, and coupled with the crush, she assumes that Ochako also wants to be like Izuku “You want to be the same as the person you like, right?”

At this point, we’ve also learnt that Toga also has a crush on Izuku, and wants to become him.

So, it’s easy to understand that Toga thought Ochako would understand her in regards to this. [this is then confirmed in Chapter 289 and 348]

A conversation: Chapter 342

Toga is a villain that has killed a lot of people, and has no qualms about bringing destruction to the city.

Ochako has fought her a couple times, but only as a hero vs. a villain.

Their conversations [chapter 289] consisted of Ochako saying things that was obvious to her with the way her life has been up until now.

In her conversation with Izuku in chapter 342, she mentions how she realizes now that Toga is just a person too, and that what’s obvious for her doesn’t apply to Toga.

Izuku mentions how he feels the same with Shigaraki and the cying child inside him.

Chapter 394: Ochako vs. Toga

Yes, Ochako explicitely states that she fell in love in Izuku Midoriya.

No, that is not the point of the chapter.

The point is that her love and admiration made her want to be more like him, to see people’s hearts like he does. [re: chapter 342, Izuku trying to save Shigaraki’s heart]

As stated before, Ochako has realized that she hasn’t been trying to see Toga as more than a villain she had to defeat, and now she is reaching out, trying to save Toga’s heart even if it’s too late.

Love and Smiles

“Smiling is why we live our lives”. - Dabi to Toga, Chapter 341

This has always been their thing.

Toga, who has been cast out of society due her “weird” and “creepy” quirk, and the way she shows her love,

Toga, who wants a place where she can exist just the way she is, loving who she loves, and smiling when she wants to

Ochako, whose parents always happily encouraged her and made time for her even when they were struggling with money and tired from work

Ochako, whose eyes were drawn to the smiling citizens when a hero saved someone and defeated a villain, and wanted to be the reason for those smiles

Also reminder that as much as they are made for each other they also exist as characters outside of that

In conclusion,

People who think Ochako is nothing more than a heroine that has a crush on the main character are stupid and have no reading comprehension.

People who say that Ochako’s character “fell off” after the romance was introduced only care to see their bias about female leads proven right have no patience for the actual story.

Her crush is a way to establish her story with Toga.

[ghostofskywalker]

Don't Say "I Told You So"

Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Words: 1,739

Summary: Crosshair didn't need a relationship, and he had only agreed to this stupid service because all his brothers had done it as well. But a switch in his mind was flipped when he met you, he just doesn't want to admit it.

Note: this is my contribution to the fanfiction universe of @tcwmatchmakingau :) the canon divergence here is that the empire falls apart in its early days after palpatine bites it, which would still imply that crosshair spent some time in its service. i couldn't decide which clone i wanted to write so i picked six of my faves and rolled a die to decide - crosshair won :)

Clone Troopers Masterlist

“What are you looking to gain from our service today?” The overly bubbly woman asked Crosshair as he sat with his arms crossed in a chair that seemed entirely out of place in a tiny office like this. She was not bothered one bit by the way he so obviously did not want to be there, and there weren’t many people in the galaxy that could look so nonchalant on the receiving end of his annoyed expression.

“To get my brothers off my back,” he answered dryly, watching as she started to type something on her datapad.

“So you’re not looking for anything serious then?”

“What do you think?”

The woman behind the desk (she had introduced herself before, he just forgot her name) looked up at him with a glare that matched his in its intensity, and for a moment the change actually caught him off guard. “I have half a mind right now to set you up with the person I think you would dislike the most and ensure that you have the worst two hours of your life,” she said, her tone sharp and unwavering. “But since I am a professional, I will not do that. However, I expect to be afforded the same courtesy. I have a perfect track record with my matches for this company, but that does not mean I won’t throw it away for the chance to make you miserable, and that is certainly a threat. Do we understand each other?”

A silence fell over the room as her words sunk in. “Fine,” he said, swallowing his pride and allowing her to continue with the matchmaking interview. There was a part of him that wondered if he did indeed have a perfect match out there, even if he was (mostly) here because the rest of his squad had already gone through the process. Because anyone that managed to find someone who could willingly put up with Hunter was clearly some kind of Jedi, and there was another part of him that wanted to be the one to annoy his brothers, just as they had annoyed him with their new partners.

The interview was soon finished, and he left the office wondering what was going to come of all this. The woman (who had reverted back to the insufferably bubbly version of herself from the beginning) told Crosshair that someone would reach out to him with details about his date soon, even though he didn’t know if he believed her. There couldn’t be anyone in their little catalog who would willingly go on a date with him, this had to be some kind of scam.

***

But somehow the unthinkable happened, and from what Echo said when he heard Crosshair had gotten a message, it had happened in record time. And even now, if it weren't for the fact that his brothers were all stationed outside the restaurant, he might have run away before ever stepping foot inside. Wrecker would have simply just picked him up and walked him inside anyway, and that would be ever more embarrassing than simply just accepting his fate and not trying to escape.

He wasn’t given much information about you or the date, other than your first name and the fact that a table had been reserved for you two at a restaurant on the top level of Coruscant. It wasn’t the nicest place in the world, but Crosshair appreciated that there didn’t seem to be an intense pressure to get perfectly dressed up, especially since he only had a limited amount of clothing at this time. He also had a sneaking suspicion that you had picked the spot, because none of the others had ever heard of the place when he told them where he was going.

Despite the fact that he didn’t really think any kind of relationship was going to come from this, he still found himself slightly worried about how you were going to perceive him. Even though the war was over and clones were fully recognized as citizens, it was hard for him to believe that anyone would willing want to go on a date with him. He could understand how his brothers were able to find romance, they weren’t as broken as he was, and they were having a much easier time adjusting to their new lives outside of military service.

When he gave the person standing at the front of the restaurant his name, they smiled and told him to follow, as his date for the evening was already here. He was hoping that he could get by without the staff knowing the true reason he was there, but it didn’t seem like that was going to happen. The sound of his comm device buzzing caught Crosshair’s attention, and he looked down at his wrist to see a message from Hunter.

Don’t kriff this up.

But of course he didn’t have time to send anything back before he had arrived at his table for the evening. Caught off guard by your beauty, he forgot for a moment that he didn’t reallu want to be there. “Hi,” you greeted him as he sat down. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

There was another version of him vying for control of his body right now, that was cruel and vindictive and could never believe that you were here to see him. And as much as he wished that version of him had died with the Empire, that was simply not the case, and he fought hard to push those thoughts away. Maybe he would never be as bright and as joyful as Wrecker, but you did not deserve to spend time with a sour version of him, especially when none of the issues he had were your fault.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he said. “Why did you sign up to do this?”

You laughed. “Honestly? My friends pushed me to sign up for an interview.”

“My brothers practically forced me to do this,” he said, watching as a smile crossed your face.

“Wow, I guess we both don’t want to be here, huh?”

Five minutes ago, Crosshair would have earnestly confirmed your statement and suggested that you go your separate ways. But now, he found himself wanting to stay, even though he had no idea how to respond. “I suppose not.”

“But since this meal has already been paid for, I think we should stay.” Thank the Maker for that suggestion.

Of course, he had to keep up appearances. “I’m fine with that.”

As the date continued, conversation moved like one of the Coruscant Guard’s massif puppies: tentative but determined, and the more Crosshair spoke to you, the more he realized how much you complemented each other.

It was so much more complicated than the roles of sun and moon, because neither of you perfectly fit into either image. You had a macabre streak to rival the dry quips he often subjected his brothers to, but there was also a brightness to your personality that he found himself desperate to learn about. As you shared stories about past relationships and told him all about the work you do, he found himself wondering how in Sith Hells it was possible that through one interview (that he didn’t even take seriously) someone had managed to find him someone like you.

The food was certainly a step up from the things he ate during the war, and the two of you indulged in drinks that were brightly colored and sickly sweet. If this was 79’s and his brothers were around, he might have cared about what they would say as they watched him take sips of a lavender colored liquid. But here, the only person whose opinion mattered to him was you, and the way you smiled as you tasted the drink for the first time was something he didn’t want to forget.

When it was time to leave, he waited with you for a hovertaxi and waved you off before heading back to the apartment he now shared with his brothers. It didn’t seem like the rest of the squad had stayed outside the restaurant for the entire night (like they had threatened to do), and Crosshair was glad for the time alone with his thoughts.

He wanted to see you again, that much was certain. The two of you had exchanged comm frequencies, and there were already tentative plans in place for the two of you to see a holofilm together sometimes, but nothing was set in stone. He knew his brothers weren’t going to let him off without interrogating him when he stepped through the doorway, so he also prepared what he was going to say.

And like he expected, Omega was the only one not waiting for him when he opened the door. The rest of the team was sitting at the table, as if they were waiting for him, and the questions began to spill out of his brothers’ mouths.

“How was it?”

“Did you like her?”

“Are you going on another date?”

“We were right, weren’t we?”

Crosshair took a seat at the table and waited for the rapid fire questioning to stop. “It wasn’t terrible.”

Hunter scoffed. “Come on, you’ve got to give us more than that!”

“No, I don’t actually,” he said. “You all forced me to do this and now it’s done.”

Echo spoke next. “At least tell us if you’re going to go out again with her, then we’ll leave you alone.”

Crosshair sighed. He wanted to lie, but he knew that eventually the truth would find a way to worm its way out into the open, and the teasing would be worse then. “Nothing is confirmed, but maybe.”

“YES!”

“I knew it!”

“You all owe me 10 credits now!”

In the midst of his brothers’ joy, the sound of his comm device beeping distracted Crosshair. He looked down to see a message from a new frequency, which he immediately knew must be you.

If you were serious about going to a holofilm, do you want to see one with me tomorrow?

He couldn’t help but smile as he typed out an affirmative reply, and that tiny change in his expression did not go unnoticed by Hunter. “Aww look Echo, Crosshair’s in loooooooove!”

“Shut up,” was the sniper’s response, but he didn’t refute the statement.

Maybe these matchmaker services really did work after all. 

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

YOI-meta: Viktor's apparent insensitive reaction to Yuuri's love confession & what it might mean

There are several ways to read Viktor's comment on Yuuri's love confession depending on the level of his knowledge of the Japanese language and culture at this point in the series. While his words seem insensitive and blunt at first glance, plausible explanations for the choice the creators made here align rather with Viktor's character and the concept of the show than Viktor only caring about Yuuri's appearance in one of the most significant moments of their relationship.

So let's break this down!

1. Language barriers

The press conference of the Japanese Skating Federation, where the skaters participating in the Grand Prix Series present their season theme, is broadcasted on Japanese TV for a Japanese audience. Hence, Yuuri speaks Japanese in this scene. By now, Viktor has been living in Japan for about 5-6 months, and while he possibly knows enough Japanese to get along on his own and communicate with Yuuri's family about basics like food or the weather, complex speeches are probably still beyond his abilities.

Besides Russian, Viktor speaks English and French, so we can assume he has a knack for languages. But whereas Cyrillic and Latin characters have some resemblances, Japanese has three different types of characters (hiragana, katakana, and kanji), and these differ vastly from Western scripts. Beginners spend a hell lot of time learning these in addition to vocabulary and grammar. It's not a stretch to assume that Viktor understood parts of Yuuri's speech but not enough to connect the dots. Like "here, Yuuri presents his season theme which is about love... Oh, I heard my name! He's talking about me now! ... Was that something about a gold medal and Grand Prix Final? That's my Yuuri! He's so fierce! I love this! But ugh, he really needs a new tie! That hideous thing doesn't fit his new image at all!"

2. Utter shock

That face...

Looking at this scene, Viktor is either completely shocked because he didn't see this coming or trying hard to understand Yuuri's speech. While in my personal headcanon, language barriers keep him from understanding the speech, a person who is described as a genius and already speaks three languages might be able to follow the speech after living in the country for several months (I'm not sure about this though, but some people learn at lightspeed once they start obsessing over a subject). In this case, his reaction is a coping mechanism due to overwhelm. So far, Yuuri has said a few sweet things that showed Viktor how much he matters to Yuuri, but this is a whole new dimension of expressing affection, especially coming from someone so reluctant to voice their feelings. And while Viktor undeniably has been hoping for Yuuri to love him back, seeing his love confessing his feelings live on national TV is quite something to process.

Which leads me to...

3. Viktor doesn't take Yuuri's love confession seriously

This interpretation falls into the category of "Did we watch the same anime?" and I will briefly explain why using some past instances of Viktor's reaction to Yuuri using love language:

Episode 2 "I want to eat katsudon with you!":

Episode 3 "I'm going to become a super tasty katsudon. Please watch me!":

Episode 4 "I want you to stay who you are":

We see the occasional confusion, which is attributed to the fact that Viktoir is still familiarising himself with Yuuri's unique way of expressing his feelings and desires. However, in all these scenes, Viktor is genuinely happy that he means so much to Yuuri. Although Viktor can be insensitive at times, he never mocks Yuuri, which speaks volumes about his character. Not even when Yuuri says things like "Katsudon is my eros!" It's not in his personality. So far, throughout the series, Viktor has helped Yuuri become more confident and express his feelings. As soon as he understands Yuuri's speech and has processed the meaning, he would burst with happiness because Yuuri loves him back and pride because of how confident Yuuri became. But mocking Yuuri for his necktie when he just expressed the full dimension of his feelings? Just nope. He's not JJ.

Bonus: Viktor's reactions after episode 5 (the pattern continues)

4. The necktie is a metaphor

This interpretation came up in a Twitter discussion with @maetae2288 (kudos to her for bringing this up!) and it can coexist with interpretations 1 and 2. If you tell a story that needed to be condensed to 12 short episodes, you don't waste precious air time on throwaway lines.

For this interpretation, I would like to refer to Tumbleweed's translation errors master post. It's a super long post, so I quote the relevant part:

「 初めて自分から繋ぎとめたいと思った人、それがヴィクトルです 」 [...]'For the first time in my life, there’s a person I want to hold on to. That person is Victor.’ Also, while I think this word choice is the best choice, 'hold on to’ doesn’t quite get all the connotations of 繋ぎとめたい across. Tsunagi tomeru is composed of two words, tsunagi = bind and tomeru = stop. It means tying the subject to something and stopping it from going away. Since he added 自分から, 'from/by himself’ in front of it, it infers Victor being the first person Yuuri wants to reach out to and bond with, and with those bonds, bind them together so that they would never part.

I highly recommend reading the full post if you're interested in the linguistic nuances of translations from Japanese to English regarding Yuri!!!.

In his speech, Yuuri voices his desire to form an inseparable bond with Viktor (it's quite a lot like "stay by my side and never leave" if you think about it, although he uses a different vocabulary). Bonds are often symbolised by a knot. In this sense, the necktie comment would refer to the new bond Yuuri and Viktor will form henceforth.

It's unclear when Viktor learns Japanese love language and dating culture (you can read my post on Japanese dating culture in YOI here). In episode 9, Viktor correctly identifies Yuuri's (accidental) marriage proposal, but when did he brief himself on these things? In fact, he uses love language as early as episode 3 ("I love katsudon"), but was he aware of this? Whether or not he is, it's beyond doubt that the creators knew what they were doing when they gave him this line. In this light, his necktie comment suggests that he understood Yuuri's kokuhaku very well and gave a unique response that refers to their future bond and is true to his character. This is top-notch storytelling.

To sum this up, whether Viktor understood Yuuri at once and responded accordingly, or this line foreshadows that he will understand somewhere between episodes 5 and 6, his comment implies that they will start dating soon after. And we see the result in episode 6.

If you enjoy my meta posts, please consider giving my blog a follow or checking out my works on AO3(link in bio). You will find the results of my meta musings in there!

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[666writingcafe]

RAD TV (Part Two)

Mephistopheles: Welcome to a very special edition of RAD TV. We are reporting to you live from the auditorium as voting for the bloody moon contest wraps up.

Rogmen: It's a close race for first place with Lord Diavolo, Lucifer, and MC vying for that coveted top spot. In fact, it's so close that the call can't be made until the final vote gets tallied.

Mephistopheles: Speaking of which, I believe the last person has just cast their vote.

MC: *walks up to them* Hi guys.

Rogmen: MC! What a nice surprise.

Mephistopheles: I take it you're the last vote, then?

MC: I think so. The Little D's took away the ballot boxes as soon as I put my slip in.

Rogmen: Well, we might as well take the opportunity to interview you as we wait for the final results.

Mephistopheles: If that's alright with you, that is. I know you weren't too keen the last time.

MC: I don't mind chatting for a bit. *pauses* Lucifer's glaring at you.

Mephistopheles: I'm not surprised. We've never gotten along all that well.

Rogmen: I can think of a few reasons why.

Mephistopheles: We are not here to talk about my relationship with Lucifer.

MC: Excuse me for a moment. *walks out of the frame*

Rogmen: For those watching at home, Lucifer is currently standing behind the cameraman with his arms crossed, and MC's trying to calm him down.

Mephistopheles: *mumbles* I really wish he would let me do my job.

MC: *returns* Sorry about that. He's been a bit twitchy lately. I had to tell him that I was doing this interview voluntarily.

Rogmen: He does seem rather protective of you.

Mephistopheles: Moving on from that little hiccup...MC, how have you felt about participating in this contest?

MC: Can I be honest?

Rogmen: Certainly.

MC: This whole thing has been rather exhausting, and I can't wait for it to be over. That isn't to say that I'm not grateful for all of the support I've received, because I am; I'm just ready for everyone to start acting normal again.

Rogmen: Completely understandable. The fact that you've maintained a level head says a lot about your character.

Mephistopheles: I agree. Throughout this entire process, you've stayed true to yourself, and I think that has drawn a lot of people towards you. You don't feel the need to put on airs in order to impress someone; you just come as you are.

MC: I appreciate you saying that.

Mephistopheles: It's the truth.

Little D. No 5: Mephisy, Mephisy!

Rogmen: Now, you know he hates that nickname.

Little D. No 5: I have the final results!

Mephistopheles: Thank you, Number 5. *sighs* I swear, he's worse than Asmo.

MC: *chuckles*

Rogmen: Do you want to do the honors, or shall I?

Mephistopheles: I got it. *unfolds the piece of paper, glances at the top of it, and looks directly into the camera* Excuse us for a moment.

For those watching at home, a "We'll Be Right Back" screen pops up and stays for a couple minutes. When RAD TV resumes, MC is no longer with the news anchormen.

Rogmen: We apologize for the unexpected break. We had to make sure that the results were accurate before reporting on them.

Mephistopheles: Without further ado, here are the final results of this year's bloody moon contest. In last place is none other than Solomon himself.

Rogmen: I tried telling him that he shouldn't host that banquet, but he didn't listen.

Mephistopheles: *runs through spots 19 to 11*

Rogmen: *provides commentary for each person*

Mephistopheles: At number ten is Beelzebub.

Rogmen: I'm surprised he dropped.

Mephistopheles: He had an incident at Deja Vu.

Rogmen: I see. *glances at the paper* You finished ninth.

Mephistopheles: That's higher than last time. In eighth place is Belphegor. He offered to clean up after Beel's mess at Deja Vu.

Rogmen: *glances at the paper again* Lucky seven goes to Satan.

Mephistopheles: Let me announce the results.

Rogmen: Sorry.

Mephistopheles: At number six is Simeon.

Rogmen: That's really good for an angel. Then again, he doesn't really act like his fellow brethren, does he?

Mephistopheles: That is a conversation for another day. In fifth place is Leviathan, and Barbatos is number four.

Rogmen: Speaking of which, he's headed this way.

Barbatos: *appears in frame briefly to whisper in Mephistopheles' ear*

Mephistopheles: It appears as though they've finished setting up.

Rogmen: Excellent.

Mephistopheles: For those wondering what is going on, there is currently a three-way tie for first place. As per the rules, a tiebreaker vote must be conducted to determine the final winner. We will cut away to the scene of that vote...now.

The location on screen has changed from the auditorium to a conference room, where MC, Lucifer, and Lord Diavolo are seated with a piece of paper and a pen placed in front of each of them.

Barbatos: *off-screen* You may now write the name of the person you think deserves to win this year's bloody moon contest amongst the three of you. Whoever gets two votes automatically gets the title of the most honored and respected individual at this school.

MC: *scribbles quickly and hands their paper to someone off camera*

Lucifer: *hands his vote in second*

Diavolo: *contemplates for a bit before writing down a name, making him the last person*

The camera pans over to Barbatos, who's seated across from the three finalists.

Barbatos: *accepts the pieces of paper from the person that collected them* Thank you. We have one vote for Lucifer, one for Diavolo, and... *trails off as he looks at the last slip of paper and sighs* I can't trust the three of you, can I?

The camera moves down to reveal the three slips of paper, each with a different name on them. Those familiar with their handwriting can tell right away who voted for who.

Barbatos: In the event of a failed tiebreaker vote, the rules dictate that each person must participate in a talent-based performance. For the three of you, I think a good old-fashioned dance battle is in order.

[inventedfangirling]

pran-so-cool to pran-so-brave

We all talk about pran so cool to pran in love and yes of course everybody needs to talk about that growth all the time forever and ever cos really it gave us one of the most beautiful and respectful love stories of all time, but i also wanna take a teensy second to talk about how pran so brave too.

Jumping into a body of water to help a drowning person not easy. putting your thoughts and feelings into a song and then singing it out loud, not easy. Confronting years of lying and suppression and hurt, standing up to an overbearing parent is definitely not easy.

Dealing with insecurities, voicing those insecurities, working to overcome those insecurities not easy. confronting your feelings, taking a leap ready to get hurt if that happens, and then deciding to stick through one person no matter the hurdles also farthest from easy. Pran has done so many brave things over the course of his young life but right now i just wanted to focus on what he did in episode 10 in this scene.

Like seriously picture this, you're out with your boyfriend, grocery shopping have a wonderful time teasing and goofing off with each other and then bam, his bitch ass of a dad appears and see's you in a not entirely uncompromising situation.

And then without even thinking of where they are or how they are literally just kids, this man begins to get aggressive with them.

I can't even explain just how triggered this scene or just the gif of it even makes me...that said i need to talk about it because just can't get over the significance of what pran did here.

On paper he is just standing up to defend his boyfriend from an aggressive man but of course in reality he is actually putting himself between a fully grown adult man and his own adult son (who lets not forget is physically stronger than Pran). I need me and you and everybody to process the fact that Pran is at heart (and brain development wise) still very much a child. He is barely 20 and he is gay and he is in public with his boyfriend in a conservative country (i know there is no homophobia in the bb universe but still!)

And suddenly he is outed and then this aggressive loud man who is his boyfriend's dad and his family's sworn enemy comes and starts being aggressive with Pat with whom he has as far as Pran knows had a pretty smooth at least non violent relationship (that we know of) so then do we realize how incredible is it that Pran immediately put himself between Pat and Ming??? Not only is he physically no match for Ming. But in how society would view it, he really had no place there? and because there hasn't been a history of Ming being aggressive with Pat, Pran needn't have done what he did, since in his mind such a grim possibility is not looming large.

And yet the moment he saw that Pat was possibly in danger, that very instant he comes in front of Pat, trying to calm the situation down? I'm just...that's just....so so very brave of him?!! My brain truly cannot comprehend the inexplicable amount of love Pran must have towards Pat to exhibit that level of protectiveness without even taking a second to think of his own safety or anything against Pat's own father??? Pran who hasn't had the best most healthy relationship with his own parents was standing up for Pat against his father!

And then to be shoved aside like that to the side, in such a violent manner, being looked at with so much contempt, with all those people watching. And then going back home to stand up to his mother only to get shouted at and slapped??

And then years of distance and time and growth later, he comes back and he actually brings a gift for that very man who as far as we know didn't even apologise to Pran or Pat for what he did to them there. a man who for years had kept them away from each other, filling ideas of hate into their minds (with ample help from dissaya ofc) and disrespecting and demeaning both of them??

Pran really took all that hate that was directed at him and he returned it in the form of love, he did it for pat's sake, but he did it none the less.

He really embodied "i will be tender hearted despite despite despite" and he did it while he was growing professionally and personally.

I'm sorry but look at that smile???? only the vilest spawn of satan could hate him my heart is about to burst rn.

He fr took some of the sourest lemons life offered him and along with pat turned it into a lemonade so sweet even 20 rewatches can't wash the sweetness off of it and i genuinely can't help but marvel in awe. I seriously need to sit down and think about this for days weeks ever cos really it is just something else. Pran is just something else.

He shows us how we're more than our trauma, how our choices are what define us and that even if it's difficult we can make that journey, and that we can do it with love.

[lionheartslowstart]

POA

Something happened recently that has caused me to confront the fact that I am truly disabled. It's not that I didn't know I was, of course I have since the autism diagnosis, but I really, and I mean really, got hit in the face with it.

I'll explain.

I can't go into too much detail regarding the actual circumstances, but the long and short of it is that I had to give my parents power of attorney in order to solve a housing issue. I trust parents completely and I know it's not something they would ever abuse. They made it clear to me that should I ever want to dissolve it, we could do that, and that the sole purpose for getting it was to avoid any houses issues now and in the future.

We had to go to a lawyer's office to sign the document and have it notarized. It was all very official. Afterwards, I drove home, sat on my bed, and just cried.

When I received the autism diagnosis, I was diagnosed with Level 1 autism. Autism is divided into 3 different levels. However, in my research, these levels seem to pertain strictly to social skills. In this way, yes, I am a Level 1 autistic. But if we're talking about "functionality," I'm not so sure I can qualify as Level 1 anymore. (Seriously, why IS it split by social ability? That's stupid.)

I'm 30 years old, and I'm still financially dependent on my parents. At this point in my life, I can't work a full time job. As a result, I will never be financially independent, and I will never be able to afford housing on my own. I say "at this point," because maybe one day that will change, but I doubt it. And for the record, I count myself lucky I can at least work a part time job, because 85% of autistics can't work at all.

Autism is a developmental disability, and I feel that as I'm getting older, it's become more obvious. Because I'm staying the same. I mean, obviously not completely the same. I've learned and grown and matured, and my friends who have known me for over a decade always comment on how much I've changed, but that's not what I mean. I mean that I feel like an adult and a child at the same time. I mean there are certain things I can't DO, certain things I can't retain or process, because my brain just won't let me. For example, I can't set up health insurance by myself. Every time my mom tries to explain it to me, my brain glazes over. That's the best way I can explain it. And I swear, I am trying SO hard to pay attention. I can't help it. My brain just...won't.

If this is what my life looks like when I'm 30, what is it going to look like when I'm 50? 60? 70? Not good. Not a good quality of life at all.

I'm so jealous of my friends and family. I don't understand how they do it. Even my other autistic friends are able to work full time or go to school full time without incident. (I did go to college full time but I almost ended myself like 3 times and I had to take a LOT of time off throughout.) It makes me feel guilty and bad. Like a loser. A failure. And yes, I know that autism can look different in everyone. I guess this is just one of the ways it affects me personally. But even so, it's painful to watch everyone around you be fully independent, and for whatever reason that's just not you. I mean, I'm independent in other ways. I can live by myself, make my own appointments, work part-time, and form meaningful relationships. I'm really trying to focus on those things instead, but it's been difficult to stay positive. I feel like financial independence is pretty major.

I want to interject here and say that I am insanely grateful to my parents. I know how blessed I am. They are my biggest supporters, both emotionally and financially. They love me so much, and if I didn't have them I'm certain I'd be homeless, probably long dead. I know that most people don't have parents like mine, let alone autistic people. I thank them all the time and tell them how guilty I feel and reassure them that I'm not lazy or spoiled, that I take their support very seriously. And they always assure me that they know, and not to worry about it, and they just want me to be happy.

But I do worry about it. My parents have wasted so much money on keeping me alive, it makes me physically ill. If I wasn't around, they'd have more money in their pockets for other things. They wouldn't have to worry about me all the time. I genuinely feel like they'd be better off without me, at least in the long run.

Like I said, the thoughts have been real dark lately, y'all. I've been extremely depressed since we instated the POA. This is my reality.

I don't know if my friends will still want to be friends with me in 10 years. Even my autistic friends. I don't like that I'll most likely never be financially independent. It is my greatest shame and I wish so badly it wasn't true.

People who insist autism is a fad and that people fake it for attention or whatever can eat my entire ass.

I would do anything, and I mean anything, to not be autistic.

[imagoddamnonionmason]

Howdy Goose! What do you think Steph’s family would think about Zach when they met for the first time? I imagine they wouldn’t think he’s ’masculine enough’, due to the fact he was in therapy, not understanding that bro literally has hallucinations cause of Afghanistan.

Zach would be respectful, get both his mother in law and Rachel flowers, but wouldn’t stand for any ‘jokes’ about Steph. He’d be subtle about it, but would stand up for her if they made any comments about her.

(Why do I imagine Rachel would try to flirt with him unless she’s married 🤢)

I think her Dad, Richard, would actually be very accepting; he's a man who's fought for his country, he takes care of his daughter and the two seem to be very in love. But this man is especially blind to the life the both he and Stephanie have lived, the experiences they have had and the trauma that they learned to live with. I think it comes down to not understanding, but made worse by his lack of not realising that there's issues there that need to be understood, so there would be quite the disconnect. It's not intentional disconnect, but I don't think that Richard and Zach's father-son relationship would ever go any deeper than a surface level. It'll never go beneath a surface Zach allows him to see because, quite frankly, who talks about their trauma gained from war and especially with a man who has the emotional capacity of a pre-fried chip. You know, that part of the process where the potato is just a soggy wet slice of blandness.

I think later on in life, Richard would regret not getting to know him better, regret not trying harder to understand him and would genuinely wish he could turn back time to thank him more for taking care of his daughter and giving her a family she loves so dearly. But, regrets hang heavy around the neck and his back hurts from the weight of them.

Regarding the wife and daughter?

Huh. Yeah, I feel like Agatha would be that type of Step Mom that would hide awful remarks behind non genuine concern. It would be comments towards Steph's hair, her body, her looks, the scars on her arm, sides and thighs. It's taken a while for Stephanie to become indifferent to the marks on her skin, having gone through a lot of shit trying to reconcile the connection of the scars to the shit that happened in Afghanistan. So then for Agatha to make comments like "oh, I know you struggle with how people see those scars, so I got you this to try and hide them! We don't want to be scaring kids with ugly things like that! We don't want you getting upset!" Like, fuck off, right? I love the idea that Zach would straight up just be thinking "why don't you mind your fucking mouth, Aggie, before someone minds it for you." But really he's so calculated about how he claps back.

Agatha or Rachael make a comment on her, maybe her hair, like "oh, did you style your hair like that today? What a... choice! It could only suit you." "I was thinking the same about yours, Rachael, no one else could pull off something like that."

ON THE TOPIC OF RACHAEL THOUGH

She would flirt with him. Imagine it's like... idk a family get-together and there's a lot of extended family present. Stephanie didn't really want to go, but she does because it's good for Zach Jr to see family and while Stephanie is sorting out Zach Jr, Zach Sr is just chilling in the kitchen waiting with his Wife's drink.

Rachael saunters in, maybe a few too many drinks in than she should be, and comes to stand in front of Zach. She watching him with a furtively coy stare with the slightest attempt of a flirtatious upturn of her lips and sucks on the straw of her drink. Zach isn't even looking at her. He's just doing his job of keeping his eye on his wife's drink and speaking with those who deserve his time.

She tries flirting a little more overtly, and it would be this that catches his attention because like??? This bitch? really being so forward?

I don't think she'd take lightly being shut down, probably still got that stereotypically snotty popular girl attitude of 'every man thinks I'm god's gift' and she thinks 'he wants me, not my step-sister'. Being told no would probably lead to her having a petulant reaction.

I also don't think even marriage would stop Rachael from flirting with him - I imagine her bagging such a lovely guy but she treats him like shit. She's that kind of person. Probably ends up divorced and the ex-husband finds someone better and lives happily. Good for him, Steph and Zach would think, and he dodged a bullet.

Let me know if there's anything else you'd add!! This was fun to think about 😎

[lordlexion]

Brief thoughts on Lal

I'm watching Star Trek TNG s03e16 and- I love the character of Lal. It was amazing to experience the whole process of her development (I really wish we were given more information about it) it was really comical.

But from the beginning; the process of choosing her form (and gender). At the very beginning of her existence, Lal has freedom that most beings don't have – especially us humans – yet she is faced with a very difficult choice. Because what she picks will be an integral part of her forever.

Later, a tour of Data's quarters, their shared home. That certain lack of human fluidity, was captivating. Lal's exploration of the world (although brief) was intriguing, giving a new perspective on Data's world. And all the way through Lal's learning, from what Data himself (who really did a wonderful job as a father) could and did show her, to what the school taught her. The loneliness that comes with being different, misunderstood – she might not have felt the emotion, but it's not hard to see that something is wrong.

The whole process of Lal's development was also an extraordinary experience for Data, who was given the opportunity to re-experience 'childhood' (like any other parent). Having an insight into an already familiar experience from a completely different perspective. He saw his child develop, at the same time growing with her. He was learning new things, such as what Doctor Crusher told him about sharing his experiences with his child so that he could see that he was not alone. Letting him know about his own struggles, which are similar, making a connection, just being empathetic…

Finding out about human romantic relationships, what people do and how they do it… Hasn't everyone had a kind of fascination similar to hers? The questions she asked with her conversation with Guinan are much more mature, you can see how quickly her development is progressing. She has entered a level of “puberty”.

And to top it off, a kiss with an unsuspecting Riker. I was dying of laughter.

And then there's a very important element, the conversation between Data and Lal about emotions, which resulted in them holding hands… A really moving scene and showing what an incredible family these two androids are.

I will skip over some events until the memento in which Lal experiences fear. Although her movements are strangely robotic, you can immediately see the huge level of fright she is experiencing. Her immediate going to Troy in a moment of great distress is somehow logical, and at the same time indicative of the bond she has established with others on board.

She is not just experiencing the fear that comes with talking to an admiral who is trying to separate her from her father, the ship and everything she knows, but with the very fact that she is feeling. She is experiencing feelings and that puts her into a certain level of panic.

And the end of Lal… Deep emotion, emotion, sadness, grief, mourning. There would probably be even more words to describe the emotions that were evoked by Lal's dying. And yet in all this sadness and pain, there is something beautiful to be found. Lal's (and Data's) love. Pure, innocent and strong, touching almost to tears.

How quickly can one character we have come to know in the space of a few minutes evoke such a strong attachment in the viewer, and be mourned by so many of the crew. Lal was a wonderful character who I'll never forget.

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

911 Spoilers Season 2: You’ve been warned. 😅

Episodes 2-3

Episode 2:

• Buck & Eddie working together like a team. Saves guy with microwave on his head.

They are in sync during this scene. They go into action and just know what they are supposed to do. It’s the complete opposite of their first rescue together.

• Eddie reveals he has a kid. Buck is eager to tell him cute kid and how he likes kids. Eddie causally announcing Mom is not in the picture.

Might be my delusion, but this scene felt intimate even though the entire 118 was in that Truck when it was happening. It felt like Buck was subconsciously telling Eddie that him being a single father was not a deal breaker. And Eddie was subconsciously saying there is a missing piece to his family that could be filled.

• Earthquake Rescue: More amazing team work from Both Buck and Eddie as they try save people in the building that’s collapsing.

There is no hesitation. They go into that building as a team and work together. There has to be a level of trust that was built for this to happen. They trust each other and know how to work together.

• While trying to save the creepy boss, the window breaks cause the boss to fall to his death and Eddie to dangle outside the building. Buck is holding on for dear life as he pulls Eddie back into building and saving Ally,Bucks future GF.

This would now be considered their second shared life or death experience together. Another trauma bond experience that will bring them closer.

Episode 3:

• More Buck and Eddie working together. Equal concern over their team’s safety. Worry over Hen’s loss of communication.

Again just strengthen the fact that they work great together and are navigating a dangerous situation together. They are sharing a traumatic experience and have the added worry of losing someone they care for.

• Buck mentions Abby. Eddie is listening to a man obviously not processing an ended relationship.

There is vulnerability in this rescue, they aren’t safe and are still trying to make it out safely while also helping a stranger.

• More awesome team work while helping the man with a broken ankle and an extremely dangerous rescue using the elevator shaft.

• Buck and Eddie persuade the in charge Fire Captain to break her own orders to help save Hen. When the Fire Chief acknowledged they were persuasive, Eddie looks at Buck, indicating it was mostly Buck. This glance/look at Buck can be described as admirable.

This interaction was extremely quick and easily missed if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m over analyzing every Buck and Eddie scene.

• Buck drives Eddie to Chris’ school and watches them be reunited. Buck is watching with admiration or adoringly at Eddie hug his son.

This is the moment Buck either subconsciously or consciously begins to really care about Eddie as more than just a coworker. This is the moment they are no longer just associates but friends. This may also be the moment Buck develops a crush on Eddie, but it’s not what I consider an “oh” moment.

These two episodes in relation to Buddie is there to show a change in dynamic and growth. We learn a lot more about Eddie and we learn about Buck too. They are capable of working as a team together and obviously care about each other. These episodes aren’t Buddie episodes, but they show us at a glance how they’ve been getting close. There is no “oh” moment here. Or real acknowledgment of their attraction towards each other. But there does feel like a familiar moment. It’s a shift from coworkers who are close to friends who are closer.

If you didn’t see my original post where I break down Episode 1 of Season 2, I basically decided that I’m doing a rewatch all of 911 before the premiere of Season 7. I took an extra step and took notes documenting Buddie moments specifically.

I’ll post Episode 4 soon, but that episode alone took two pages out of my journal so it could take a bit to transcribe.

[imustbenuts]

Do u have any personal Kiran headcanons for your own Kiran?

:x... uhhh......

okay. get ready.

my hc is that kiran is, objectively speaking, a demigod of sorts.

if you ever watched re:creators or read some stuff about the gnostics or even some christian studies level of stuff then it might make sense immediately what im talking about.

basically: kiran isn't human in the same way that everyone else in the FE verse is. i hc they're really just a regular everyday person, who happens to be a FE nerd with a good head on their shoulders whisked away into a the FEverse.

but kiran isn't really a god. in shorthand, they're similar to an angel or a deva. they dont partake in the creation of the FEverse (thats intsys' job), but they partake in the indulgence side of it all. and they might be interested enough that it becomes a media they happily consume. and that consumption of the media by the audience in turn supports the cycle of creation for more FE and thus FEverse gets expanded like that

very meta. and like in gnosticsm or even christianity the God that spawns creation and fate is unknowable. they are so unknowable that the creation they spawn doesnt even know if they are god or a creation capable of further creation, and creates more unknowing of the fact that these creation becomes actualized in some form out there in the vast infinity of whatever

so you know like. when we like blorbo/s so much we kinda. put them in situations. because. drama is fun. watching the blorbos struggle is fun. watching them overcoming stuff is fun.

and although i mention we partake as audiences, our combined taste does have influence over the process of creation. for example, awakening wouldnt exist if intsys didnt get desperate and shoved everything they think might appeal to audiences into the game, and thereby gain our approval, effectively granting the right for the rest of FE to exist.

so combine the two above and. isekai. oops.

kiran now looks like a psychopathic admirer of the FE heroes who gets their rocks off watching actual people struggle. woah! the bigger the struggle, the more entertaining it is, the better the payoff, and so it gets really difficult to be even normal about the heroes.

maybe kiran doesnt see FE characters as actualized people in the beginning. maybe they negotiate with themselves about the dissonance of it all. maybe at some point they realize, "this is fucked up, actually. i can't be gleeful about hearing these people talk about their troubles and worries while knowing what fates are in store for them."

but in some parts, that gleefulness doesnt ever go away. the fact that they know doesnt go away. the knowing in itself becomes a curse, and the distance is permanent. even if they like them, bc hey, the reason why they know all these info is bc kiran loves the blorbos enough to read up on all of them!

combined that with them being capable of summoning multiple copies of the same heroes. what does that mean for the relationship they might form? they know every marth, but does every marth know them? can the marths even begin to form a proper understanding or relationship? what if another marth comes? what then?

multiply that by like. 500. yikes.

the only exception to all of these are the Heroes natives ofc. alfonse and sharena is their strongest anchor because they can be normal with them. but, the siblings are not at all immune to the FEverse MC tropey fates that awaits, and so kiran's brain runs on predictive mode trying to avoid this and that.

but despite their best efforts, they cant prevent fate. they cant prevent gustav from dying and protect one of the few people they care about from getting hurt.

so they try even harder. bc their prev world has drilled in the idea of meritocracy so much, the idea of productivity at all cost under capitalism, and gave them the skillset to learn on the fly that failure is not an option.

kiran might have been a person with their life barely beginning back home.

in that world before, their identity was built up over 2 decades by the people surrounding them, blood or otherwise. and everything they interacted with there defined their identity. they can share and talk about things they encountered in games normally. there is normalcy here. logic here.

but once in the world of FEheroes, all that built up in 20 years becomes nothing and twisted. their identity folds into itself. their knowledge is a curse. their friendships are the weight of entire suns. there is insanity here, and indulgence and people with delicious dramatic stories to consume and hear at every corner if they so politely asked. in return, they would offer knowledge and counsel. (they wouldnt, ofc. so no heroes really gets to know them in full. look directly into the sun and be blinded, its kinda shitty like that)

and breidablik gives them power. to control, to contract, to plant suggestions. the heroes know, the specifics of the contract ofc, bc thats ethical. being morally upright to the heroic universe they love so much was never in question. so they play the part of the friendly summoner, let the heroes believe in their goodwill, bc the other option is to be truthful and get close and consume.

alfonse and sharena becomes their everything. jailer, god, summoner, champion, curse, blessing, friends, to protect at all cost, to give themselves to for whatever they desire. their reason for existing and continuing.

and if kiran fails, if alfonse or sharena gets twisted, then, well. the identity of evreyone's friendly cheerful summoner would have to get redefined, wouldnt it?

[clone-anon-after-dark]

A Little Closer (Captain Rex x GN Asexual Aromantic Reader)

Word Count: 2722

Warnings: minors DNI, frank discussions of sex but nothing more, some chaste kissing, reader is sex-repulsed aroace, angst in regards to Order 66 (I'm sorry okay! This was getting long and I didn't know how to also make it an Everyone Lives AU also)

A/N: I wrote these headcanons for clones with ace partners and basically now I want to write at least one fic for each clone with a partner who is somewhere on the aroace spectrum.  (I’m taking requests if you have any.)  Ultimately the relationship in this one is going to be a queerplatonic partnership with I love yous. There is some reverse comfort. No use of reader's pronouns.

I would be remiss if I didn't say thank you @starrrgazingbunny! Your reblog and comments on those headcanons helped shape the relationship in this story.

You sat near 79’s and wanted to cry.  All you could think about were those many nights with the 501st boys, laughing, eating, dancing, and sharing stories.  You didn’t jump on the dance floor immediately, but it was hard to be shy when Hardcase, Fives, and Jesse all shuffled you toward the center of the room.  They had no shame in their dance moves and brought out more of your fun side.  You smiled to yourself as you thought of all the times you talked and took their mind off the war.  You remember the night someone had pulled the fire alarm and you were all kicked out. You invited the boys home to hang out for a little while.  Rex chuckled watching Tup, Dogma, Kix, Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase all try to sit on your couch followed by Hardcase insisting there was room for everyone as long as you, Rex, and Echo sat on their laps. There was not, in fact, any more room and your poor sofa creaked beneath them.  You just grinned and got some extra chairs out and moved the table so everyone could sit somewhere. No one seemed to mind it being a little crowded.

It was the same night that the boys were discussing their futures. Not so much about the war, but Hardcase had met a woman he loved and disappeared to her every day he could when they were on Coruscant.  Jesse was in the process of getting to know someone and Dogma had a date lined up.  They had never been prepared for social relationships outside of the GAR, nevermind romantic relationships. They quickly turned to you for advice, as a nat-born.  

“Sorry to disappoint,” you said. “I’m aroace and will never have sex.”  Each man tilted his head and knitted his eyebrows slightly, mulling over this statement. You took the time to explain the spectrum of sexual and romantic attraction and that, yes, you still liked people and platonic relationships.  You even thought about having a committed relationship sometimes, but hadn’t found the right person for that.  You carefully waded into the topic of lost loves and unspoken wishes when you knew a friend would only remain a friend. You told them you dreamed more about building a home and sharing a life with someone, but that didn’t have to include the things romantic movies seemed to covet.  

“Are those things not important regardless of how you feel about sex, or even romance?”  The question came from Rex, who up until now, had been practically silent. You looked into his eyes, and felt a spark of hope.  It was quickly interrupted by a well-meaning Hardcase.

“Yeah, I love more than sex. I feel a connection when I’m with my girlfriend. She understands me. We spend time doing more than making out and getting naked.”

“Thank you for that information,” Tup said, rolling his eyes.

You smiled, getting his meaning.  “I think that strong, long-lasting relationships are built on closeness and understanding.  There are some people out there who have no interest in getting close to someone on an emotional level and only want the physical, sure. I think it’s pretty normal to figure out what you want and seek that out.”

“People tend to want to be understood and care for each other,” Rex added quietly.  The men all nodded their heads and you couldn’t help but find a smile tugging on the corner of your mouth.

You didn’t tell the boys some things. Like how you were sometimes up front about being sex-repulsed because you knew it would weed out some people.  It felt like a shield against future pain.  You knew not everyone would understand and you didn’t want to waste your time, but that night you felt like they were doing their best to understand.

You now felt a pang thinking back to that night.  All those men figuring themselves out in the way that nat-borns normally had years to do.  They grew up too fast to fight a war, but they had the same basic needs and desires as anyone.  Now that the Empire was in power, so much had changed.  You didn’t know where they all were, but you missed each one of them.  You especially missed Rex.  That night had been one filled with hope for you.  Hope that someone would understand what you wanted in a relationship and not demand you sacrifice your body and wishes for their own needs.  Now you were really alone, trying to figure out how to function with so much changed.

Your old job with the GAR had been terminated and you were left to trade parts and barter your skills as a mechanic.  It was in the process of trading parts that you met the Martez sisters.  One night you found yourself on their platform, agreeing to help fix a ship for a friend of theirs while they were off on a job. You weren’t given a name or anything, just a description that included blonde hair and a more thorough description of the ship. They neglected to tell you that he was a clone.  The ship landed and you stepped toward it as the door opened to reveal a familiar face.

“Rex?” You dropped the tool in your hand and tears came to your eyes. He was dressed more like a civilian, but that face was unmistakable.

His breath was nearly knocked out of him as he quickly covered the short space between you and pulled you into his arms.

“It’s so, so good to see you,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief.  “I wanted to find you. Find someone. After everything I couldn’t come back to the barracks. I couldn’t…” His voice was barely a whisper and he pulled you in for another hug.

As you worked on his ship, he helped, handing you tools and filling you in on what happened.  You thought of Hardcase, Tup, and Fives gone. You mourned for them during the war.  Now Jesse. Rex didn’t know what happened to Dogma or Kix, but at least Echo was okay. He sat, staring forward, and tears streamed down his face.  You stopped your work and sat next to him, pulling him close while he cried into your shoulder.

As he quieted he apologized.  “I’m so sorry. I think of them every day.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Rex. I miss them. I missed you. I never thought I’d see you again.”

That day changed your life.  You did everything you could to help Rex and the network of clones.  When more were rescued, you were ready with food and clean clothes.  You fixed ships and saved credits.  Eventually, you started going on missions that weren’t so much on the dangerous side as the practical side. Helping rescued clones start new lives in a handful of places that were as far away from the Empire as possible, expanding the network.  You helped Rex find several places to lay low and a few escape routes through the galaxy.  While you had offered to come on all the missions, he insisted he didn’t want you put in the way of more danger, but then one day, Rex and Gregor barely made it back.  You and Wolffe were waiting after a supply run and were both practically tearing your hair out.  

“What happened?!” You both shouted once the door to the shuttle opened.  Gregor explained that there had been some mechanical trouble, lost comms, and they had to jump around that part of the galaxy for a while to find someone to assist. 

“It was beyond our expertise,” Rex added.

You rolled your eyes. “If only you knew someone who was a mechanic,” you replied.

“It’s too dangerous,” Rex insisted.

“I chose this, Rex.”  You looked between him, Wolffe, and Gregor. “Now I know Gregor and Wolffe have told me that they would appreciate the help, but you keep saying ‘no.’ Why? I’m with you. I want to do this!”

Gregor and Wolffe froze in place and silently looked between each other and Rex.  Rex just rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I don’t want you getting hurt,” he admitted.

“Then help me with my blaster aim.”

He couldn’t help but grin at that.  Joining the boys consistently changed a lot of things.  You became better on your feet in sticky situations and since you weren’t a clone, you blended into certain scenarios much easier.  It was an advantage.  You also got to know the boys much better.  Knowing someone you worked with and becoming friends that way was one thing.  Living on a ship with them, sometimes for months at a time, was another.  While you had become closer to all three of them, you started to feel something for Rex that couldn’t quite be put into words. It was some form of love, but you didn’t know what to make of it.

One evening Gregor and Wolffe turned in early so they could get some sleep before their watch.  You stayed sitting by the campfire with Rex.  You felt some discomfort from him, but waited as he formed his thoughts.  Your heart dropped at the thought he might have noticed you acting a bit differently around him. Were you acting different? You couldn’t quite tell.  You tried to play it cool, but that didn’t always work out.  You were brought out of your thoughts when he cleared his throat.

“Hey,” he said quietly. “How do I put this?”  You waited until he continued. “Many rotations ago, a few cycles ago now, we were at your place with some of the boys talking about relationships and you said you don’t feel romantic love or want to be, umm, intimate.  Is that still true?”

“Wha?” The partially-formed word left your lips before you could stop it. You weren’t expecting him to be so forward. “Yeah. Yeah I still feel that way.”

Rex continued. “But you do feel love. I mean, you show us all love in some form. And I was just wondering if you… if it’s okay that I love you.”

“If it’s okay that you love me? Of course it’s okay,” you answered, much to his relief.

“I just don’t know how to go about some of these things,” he said, “But I feel such love for you. Love unlike any I’ve known. I don’t know what to call it and in many ways I don’t care.”

“I do love you,” you told him. “I am happiest with you, even on the worst days when everything breaks down. I am most content with you. My footing is solid when you’re with me.”

Rex scooted a little closer to you. “How can I show you how I feel? What do we call this?”

You shrugged at the last part. “Let’s figure it out together. Maybe we could start with this.” You held out your hand to take his and he gladly intertwined his fingers with yours.  He wanted to kiss you, but asked first.  You didn’t want to say no, but simply said, “Give me time.”  He nodded and instead rested his forehead on yours. That felt pretty perfect.

It took time to figure out what did and didn’t work for you.  You always enjoyed the idea of cuddling and started there.  You invited him into your bed, first for afternoon cuddles and then to sleep.  You were both asleep almost instantly once you found a comfortable position in each other's arms. You started spending time snuggling against each other and one day while sitting in the cockpit he gently started to pull you onto his lap.

“This okay,” he asked. 

You nodded and sat.  You rested your forehead to his and put an arm around his shoulders, whispering “I love you.”

When your ship was barely worth anything for scarp, you sold it, and were surprised to find Rex already knew what ship you’d get next.  It wasn’t new, but it was still in excellent condition.  When you moved your belongings inside you found that there were only three bunks, but he then showed you how a fourth extended out from the wall, giving the two of you more room in bed together.

“I love this,” you said. “Is that the only reason you picked this ship?”  

He grinned and scratched the back of his head. “Well, not the only reason. There’s also more storage space.”

You looked into his deep brown eyes. He had put so much thought into it just to make sure you were comfortable and not squished too badly between him and the wall.  You realized that this was the nicest bed he’d probably ever slept in and your heart danced thinking about how you’d be the one sharing it with him.

When it came time to turn in, you found Wolffe and Gregor laying in the bed, hands behind their heads, looking up at you.

“What are you two doing?”

“Who says you and Rex get this bed,” Gregor playfully asked.

“Maybe we’d like to stretch out a bit sometimes,” Wolffe added.

“Well, finish your stretching and get going because I need to snuggle with my partner.”

They both looked at you with raised eyebrows. You hadn’t put a name to the relationship before, but your heart sang at the word. Partner. Rex was your partner and that made you very happy.  When he came to bed, Rex found you laying under the covers reading a holonovel.  The lights were low and he felt calm as he got in next to you.

“Partner, eh,” he asked with a soft smile.  You nodded with a shy smile, not realizing he overheard.

“I like that,” he said. “Feels pretty perfect.” 

He laid down and opened his arms up for you. You smiled as he pulled you.  You buried your face in his neck and gave him a little squeeze.  

“I love you, Rex.”

“I love you too.”  You both fell asleep feeling at total peace.

Life would not always be easy. Certainly hiding from the Empire was hard enough, but then there was dealing with the psychological aftermath of the war.  On the eve of Empire Day, you woke up to Rex shaking in his sleep. His mumbles got louder and you shook him, whispering his name to wake him.  When he woke up, his eyes searched yours in a frenzy as tears streamed down his cheeks.  He looked lost and utterly devastated. You knew he was dreaming about his chip activation.  You don’t know what came over you, but you kissed his forehead and caressed his face, wiping his tears away.  You’d never kissed before, but it was the best way you could express that everything was okay now, you were here with him, you loved him, and he didn’t have to be afraid.  The emotions overwhelmed him and he sobbed for a little while as you cradled him in your arms.

“It’s okay now,” you said quietly. “You’re here with me and I’m not going anywhere.”

As he calmed down he looked into your eyes. “Can I kiss you too?”

“Yes,” you said.  “I’m sorry I took so long to come around to it.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry for knowing what you need,” he replied.

“Maybe not on the lips,” you asked.

“I know. How about your beautiful cheeks?”

You nodded.  Rex cupped your face and kissed each cheek.  He nuzzled his nose against yours ever so gently.  Your body felt a little stiff, taking in the new sensation, but it was wonderful and you soon melted into his arms again.

“I like that,” you admitted.

“So do I.”

The next morning you woke up before Rex and while usually you’d get up and ready for the day, you decided to stay in bed with him.  As if he could sense you making this decision, he held you a little closer.  You smiled to yourself.  When you both eventually got up, you found Wolffe and Gregor around a fire, making a late breakfast.  You joined them, you sat right next to Rex, arm against arm as you ate.  You leaned your head against his shoulder and he instinctively put his head on yours.  It was the best place in the galaxy and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Tagging: @dukeoftheblackstar @staycalmandhugaclone

[umemiyan]

Hiii robin! If you're cool with it, I wanted to ask, is there a certain moment with your selfships when you realize you ship with them, or is it a slow process that just kinda happens?

hi romy!!!! ❤️

tbh it kinda depends and i'm not always totally sure LMAO i'm a little all over the place with it. like a lot of the time i have a hard time deciding and i'm trying to create a classification system in my head akfjofijwe tho it probably shouldn't be that deep my brain just loves to cling to systematization and gets frustrated when it can't properly execute it lmfao. but anyways i shall try my best collect my thoughts and describe how i perceive my tendencies!!

i'll put it below the cut bc i always ramble lolol

there are definitely some ships where it was more of a slow progression and i had to eventually be like "yeah okay this is what it is" because it was getting to the point where they weren't going to leave. i could easily envision more in-depth scenarios between them and myself and/or lore that just seemed to naturally spring up and i just kept thinking about them all the time.

i'd say megumi is a good example of the slow-burn. he honestly wasn't the kind of character that heavily struck me when i first watched the anime and started reading the manga; in fact, i recall being like "oh great, another little hateful emo boy" LOL (historically they're not usually the type i'm drawn to). but i got to know his character better over time and realized that like. damn. i have rather intense feelings about this guy adjewoijfwof

toji and jean were a bit more on the "slower" side of development as well i suppose. and not "slow" in the sense it took several months or years or anything (i've only been self-shipping for about a year) but it was something i had to ease into a bit more i guess.

i actually hated toji at first but then the daddy issues kicked into overdrive and i eventually started catching feelings LMFAO and jean was my first self-ship ever. he's the first one where i felt comfortable enough to imagine myself with someone like that <3 i hadn't really truly done anything like that in years, but i loved his character so much that i was starting to actually insert myself in reader stuff rather than completely detaching like i used to. i could see myself with him.

suga, on the other hand, was the kind that hit me like a freight train. maybe it's because i'm more comfortable with self-shipping now, but it was easier for me to realize it and take it to self-ship level pretty quickly. not only was i obsessed with him from pretty much the first fucking moment, but the subsequent relationship daydreams have been insane LOL i mean i gave it a little bit of time because i hate the idea of being overly impulsive and irrational due to infatuation but uh. i fucking love him lmao

katsuki is..... *sigh* idk. he also kind of hit me like a freight train, at least with the daydream scenarios and whatnot, and i was hoping and praying it was just a phase (still kind of am) but i guess i've sort of accepted that it's not. or it's at least a longer-lasting phase than most lol idk. but i can't stop thinking about him and i'd rather just go ahead and call it a self-ship instead of continuing to try and wait it out or deny it. the brainrot is bad

ANYWAYS sorry for being unable to shut the fuck up as per usual lmfao but yeah!!! i tried to give some examples of how this shit works in my mind. right now i guess i'm sort of organizing things by how regularly/consistently i think about a character over time and with what degree of ease i imagine myself with them in several scenarios, but this is by no means the sort of parameters i think everyone should use when it comes to this. people should do whatever the fuck they want i just take shit too seriously sometimes and wish i could be more chill actually instead of trying to create a classification system for everything in my brain 😃 but here we are