#okay. time to get back to writing. and or procrastinating writing. its all part of my process

[acaciapines]

every day i think. surely i have written enough fight scenes by now that they will have gotten easier, right? and every day i sit down to write a fight scene and realize oh. no. i have absolutely no idea what i am doing.

[lcvclywon]

can you see me i'm waiting for the right time?

back to masterlist

synopsis ᯓ Kim woonhak. You've had the biggest crush on him for as long as you can remember. Despite being a year younger than you he never failed to catch your eye whether it be his guitar skills or photography. You had come to terms with the fact that your silly school girl crush would never be reciprocated, but when he suddenly joins yearbook committee your fate might change. As you two grow closer you find it hard to contain your feelings, but then again, there was never really a right time to tell him.

now playing > •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 bags - clairo

warnings ˎˊ˗ errrr kinda open ending, skinship, cursing, yn is kinda a lewserrrrr, angst if you squint, idk anything else so lmk!

thoughts frm yuya💭 first bnd fic heheheheh had to write for my pookie woonhak ! also im procrastinating on my jay fic its still at 18k i apologize. but also this is super duper self indulgent hahahahah my queen juni only knows of that 😁 but anyways HOPE YOU ENJOY! lmk if you would like more bnd fics ^^

“Everyone please welcome the school band!” your principal announced before moving off the stage so that the auditorium could get a better view of the musicians. 

And that’s when you saw him. 

Kim Woonhak. 

He stood there, guitar in hand and strumming along to whatever melody the lead singer was belting out. But in all honesty you couldn’t really focus on the music, well other than the guitar solo, because your eyes were too stuck on Kim Woonhak. And in that moment, you swore you were what the poets could only describe as: lovestruck.

That was in sophomore year and since then you really couldn’t get over your crush on Woonhak. Slowly but surely you learnt more and more about him: you learnt that he just transferred to your highschool from the bustling streets of seoul, you learnt that he was a year younger than you, that he was an avid football enjoyer, and that he had absolutely no clue who you were at all.

In all honesty however you really weren’t trying to do anything about your small crush either, you were perfectly content with admiring him from afar. Partly because of the fact that if you were in a situation where you had to speak with him you feared you would only fumble over your words. It’s not like Woonhak was scary or intimidating, actually it was the complete opposite; contrary to his bandmates Woonhak was one of the most approachable members of the group. Yet every time there was an opportunity to speak to him you stumbled over each phrase leaving your mouth. 

But it’s okay, it’s not like Woonhak even liked you back. 

“Hi, is this the yearbook club?” How come that voice sounds so familiar? 

Turning around you were met with a sight that you truly weren’t ready for “It’s Kim Woonhak, from uh class 11B! I was hoping to sign up” ah…so that’s why. 

“Oh nice to meet you, YN is the leader so talk to her about joining- er she’s right over there!” curse you Yeji. 

“Hey YN right?” he said before quickly tapping your shoulder. Regaining your composure you cleared your throat before turning around to face him, said composure you just regained suddenly seemed to melt away in an instant the moment he flashed that toothy grin at you. 

“Oh uh- yeah yeah…” smooth YN, real smooth. 

“I was wondering if you guys had a photographer yet? I know your head of the editorial team so I assumed you would know..” 

“Oh we um, we actually don’t-” 

“Oh that’s perfect! Well I mean, not perfect for you guys obviously, but uh- I was hoping I could work on leading photography this year?” oh and he’s multitalented, great. 

“I didn’t know you did photography” you mumbled whilst typing away on your laptop to add his name to the yearbook committee

“Oh I don’t really talk about it a lot, but it’s just a casual hobby you know” his hand reached for the nape of his neck as his gaze averted down to the floor

“Ah that’s nice,” you replied absentmindedly “well you’re now a part of the team so uh, I’ll email you the pictures we need soon…”

“Great thanks YN!” fuck, there was that smile. “I’ll get going now, I’ve got band practice..but it was great speaking to you! Promise I won’t disappoint you leader.” he added with a playful giggle while mock saluting, you couldn’t really control your face when a slight smile appeared across your face. 

“Oooh someone’s not over him I see…” Yeji chirped up the moment he left the room, the smile on your face immediately dropping before you turned away to pack away your belongings

“What are you talking about Yeji, we said like 3 things to each other…”

“Three things are enough for me to know that you definitely aren’t over that guy!” 

“Okay first off,” you started before finally zipping up your backpack “We were just having a friendly conversation, nay not even friendly considering it was for work.” slinging your blue backpack over your shoulder you added “second off, I didn’t even have a huge crush on him. All I said was he’s cute, and that was like what- sophomore year? It’s been a year, it was nothing seriously..” yeah you weren’t even buying your own lame excuse 

“Mhm, sure…I know you still like him!” She called out as you were halfway out the door, earning nothing but a slam in the face from you leaving.

“Hey YN?” 

You immediately shot your head up from the peaceful nap you were having, Kim Woonhaks voice immediately snapping you out of your dreamlike state. Looking up at him with dazed eyes and thought still admittedly fogging up your brain you could only utter out “What- huh?”

“Oh sorry did I wake you?” he replied, his tone was a mixture of what you could assume to be a wince and giggle combined into one

“Um kinda,” you reached over to rub your hazy eyes before staring back up at him “What’s up Woonhak?” 

“Could you look over these pictures I took of yesterday’s sport festival, I’m not sure if they’re alright or not-” handing you his camera you couldn’t shake off the feeling of his hand grazing yours as you reached over 

Shaking your head in hopes to rid the burning sensation firing through your arm you diligently looked over the snapshots he took, nodding slightly in approval at each one. “These look great Woonhak, thank you.” you finally commented before handing him back his camera. Standing up from your desk you were amidst packing up before he jumped in to add “Ah um sorry there’s one more thing I need to do…”

“Hm?” 

“When taking the yearbook committee’s photo I didn’t realise my SD card wasn’t loaded up so I kinda didn’t get to save any of the pictures I took…I got everyone else’s photo I just need yours” he explained whilst holding up his camera 

“Oh wait like- right now?” when else YN you idiot

“Yeah I guess…” 

“Ah okay,” you replied before walking over to the nearest blank white wall in sight “Is this okay?”

“Yep perfect, just hold that pose for me…” he trailed off whilst snapping a few photos “How are these?” walking over you examined each photo he took closely, not minding how his face was a few mere inches from yours as you did so.

“Aw wait I look so bad in these-” you whined out, slightly embarrassed that you looked this dishevelled in front of him 

“What no what do you mean, you look pretty” he mumbled under his breath, obviously not noticing the red hue that flushed over your face the moment he uttered that. Becoming all too aware of the heat creeping up your cheeks you backed away slowly before muttering “I guess it’s fine then…”

“Alright then, thanks YN! I guess I’ll get going now..” wait fuck was he going already? YN come on say something, say anything! Ask him to hangout later, ask him something about himself, talk to him, he’s right there what are you waiting for? 

“Hey Woonhak-”

“Oh hm?” his head immediately perking up at your voice 

And in that moment, the moment his eyes met yours, it seemed all the words died on the very tip of your tongue “Ah it’s nothing, uh just remember to send me the pictures later you know?” 

“Ahh gotchu gotchu, I’ll make sure to do that! Bye YN” and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to call out his name to stop him from leaving, but you didn’t.

Great YN. 

Come on YN, you can do this. He’s just a guy, you’ve spoken to guys before, who cares? It’s not a big deal just go in and-

“Oh YN is that you?” ah shit.

Letting out a loud sigh you cleared your throat before creaking the door of the music studio room open to peek your head through “Hi Woonhak, er is this a bad time?” you asked after seeing how you unknowingly interrupted his guitar practice 

“Oh no, It’s fine, come in!” rushing to put down his guitar he pounced up and briskly walked over to the door to allow you in 

“Ah I just came to say some of the files got corrupted when you sent them to me so I was wondering if you could send them to me again” you said before timidly stepping into the studio, carefully examining the sheet music he was playing 

“Oh yeah no problem,” he seemed to catch onto how your eyes scanned through the sheets of paper and how your hands travelled across the metallic strings of his guitar, “Do you um- do you play?” 

“Oh what?” your tone was jumpy, suddenly flustered at the question “ah no no, not really…I mean I kinda do play, but I’m not very good. I’m still really bad…” you trailed off, gaze still directed to the sheet music 

“Do you want to try playing?” his hand now reaching over to hand the guitar to you 

“Ah I only know I few songs though-” still you timidly took the instrument in hand and began strumming a few open chords whilst singing in a barely audible tone; woonhak still caught it though, and you could tell as he swayed his head side to side to the melody. 

“I’m still um,” you finally said after finishing playing, “I’m really bad” you couldn’t help but add a nervous chuckle to the end of that sentiment, you expected him to laugh and agree in response but instead he just said “Don’t say that, there’s always room for improvement.” before standing up to sit himself down next to you. 

“Do you want me to teach you how to play, I was just practising and I’m sure you can get the hang of it” you can’t help but feel your pupils dilate and blood to rush up your cheeks before hesitantly nodding

As he guided you through the chords of the song you couldn’t help but hold your breath as his face was a mere few inches away from yours, you couldn’t help but feel your heartbeat out of your chest as his hands held your fingers to adjust it accordingly to the notes, you couldn’t help but stutter nervously every time you asked if you were playing the right chord to which he only responded with a reassuring nod and gentle grin.

“Look at that you’re a natural!” he exclaimed the moment you finished the song

“Well it was only thanks to your help, do you have any tips to improve?” you asked trying to continue the conversation, this was the one time you actually had the guts to speak to Woonhak and you were not going to fumble

“I guess just improvise a lot, also try and practise scales since those are super helpful as well…actually most electric guitar songs are built on scales so once you’ve got those down you can pretty much play a ton of electric guitar songs!” suddenly pausing he reached to the nape of his neck before sheepishly mumbling “ah sorry I’m rambling, I probably sound like a huge music nerd right now…” 

“No, It’s cute that you’re passionate!” oh, for once your mind seemed to run faster than your mouth. 

Suddenly perking his head up to meet your equally shocked gaze he let out a nervous chuckling before mumbling something you could only assume was thank you. The silence in the room becoming all too overwhelming you cleared your throat slightly before stuttering out “Uh well, thanks for the impromptu lesson Woonhak- I’ve got some yearbook work to finish up so I think I’ll get going…” you didn’t really wait for his response before briskly leaving the room, face still flushed with embarrassment. 

The next few weeks consisted of more interactions with Woonhak than you’ve had the entire two years you’ve attended the same highschool as him. It wasn’t anything big: a simple wave across the hallway as you passed by each other, small talk in yearbook committee meetings, the occasional music sessions together in the band room, it was fun. It was really nothing, but you cherished those fleeting few moments you had with him. Over time you came to the conclusion that the relationship between you and woonhak would stay this way, acquaintances. So imagine the whiplash you got when he approached you at your lunch table through the crowd of people. 

“Hey YN!” he chirped out, cheery as every 

Slightly coughing on your yakult from surprise you gathered yourself before replying a bit too quickly with “Oh Woonhak! Hi- uh what’s up?”

“Oh I had something to give you,” carefully he pulled out a small tupperware container of bright red fruit from his bag, placing it in front of you “they’re strawberries! It’s from my grandma's garden actually-” 

Startled by the sudden kind gesture you could only stare at the container with your mouth slightly agape, “Oh what, thank you wow- uh what’s the occasion?”

“Oh I heard you complaining the other day to Yeji how the canteen only ever gives you 2 strawberries each. So I thought you would like some extra!” he answered, hand extending to open the container for you 

“Oh wait you really didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to don’t worry!” He had to stop doing that. 

Before you could answer you were cut off by someone shouting his name from across the lunch room; a slightly older boy, hair hazelnut brown and arm slung across one of his other friends. “Hey Kim Woonhak, stop being Romeo and come back to eat!” 

You observed how Woonhak rolled his eyes in annoyance before grunting out a response back to his friend. “Sorry, Jaehyun hyung is calling- Uh hope you enjoy though!” he didn’t really give you a chance to respond before rushing back to his table, earning a shove in the shoulder from one of his other friends. 

Looking down at the fruit you couldn’t help but smile to yourself before savouring the sweet taste when you bit down on one. However your moment of solitude was short lived as your friends approached the table in a giggling storm.

“Oooh what was that hm? Finally making some progress with loverboy?” Yeji teased before sitting down next to you, helping herself to one of the juicy berries 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you deadpanned, voice slightly muffled from the fruit in your mouth 

“I didn’t even know YN was close too Woonhak like that” Lia added whilst poking at her rice 

“We’re not that close, we’re just friends you know? We work on the yearbook together so…”

“Well best not to get too close I guess,” Ryujin commented in between spoonfuls of soup “I heard he’s leaving in a couple of weeks, something about his parents wanting him to go back to Seoul for the family business? I don’t know-”

Everything stopped, you tried to play it cool and ignore the dreadful feeling simmering in the pits of your stomach but you really couldn’t stop a small frown forming across your face after hearing the news. 

“Oh I heard he likes some girl in his class too, he was gonna confess to her on his last day or something? Jo Yuri I think that’s what her name was” Chaeryeong added nonchalantly, clearly not noticing how your head dipped down more and more as the conversation went on. Suddenly you weren’t so hungry. 

“I uh-” you stood up and began packing away your things “I think I’m gonna get a head start on yearbook work today” 

“Wait YN are you okay?” Yeji asked, clearly concerned 

“Yeah I’m fine! I just have a lot to do today that’s all-” you attempted to sound carefree, even throwing in a slight chuckle. But your friends obviously weren’t buying it, so instead you just rushed out of the canteen. But not before sneaking a glance at woonhak: seeing how carefree and happy he looked with his friends, how sweet his gaze was and how cheerful his toothy grin was. But also noticing how his table was right next to Yuri’s, fun. 

Well it’s not like you had a chance anyways, guess that just solidifies it. 

“Woonhak?” creeping into the yearbook club room you peered over at his sleeping figure on the table, god why did he have to look so peaceful sleeping. 

Walking over to the table he was dozing off on you situated yourself next to him allowing yourself to lay down as well to face him carelessly snoozing off. Chuckling a bit to yourself at the sight you allowed yourself to gingerly run your hands through his hair, well it’s not like he was awake to notice it. 

“This is so stupid…” you sighed out to yourself 

“I really could have had a chance to confess to you if I had just talked sooner, but now you’re leaving in a few weeks and I’m kinda hopeless. I really do wish I talked to you after your first performance that one day at school, god you looked so cool…I don’t even know why you make me so nervous” your fingers traced over the crinkled fabric on his shoulders, not really caring if he responded 

“Well I don’t think I had a chance in the first place did I?” you rambled on “Yuri is sweet, I’m happy as long as you’re happy you know…but I just wish it was me. I just wish you liked me as much as I liked you, I wish you got nervous the same way I do when I’m around you. I wish I spoke to you earlier. But I doubt that would change anything, I’m still just YN…the one senior you work with for yearbook, nothing else.” 

Realising how immensely self loathing and pathetic this whole situation was you slowly pushed in your stool in hopes not to wake him and tip-toed out the room. But amidst this you failed to notice how the tip of Woonhak’s ears turned pink, you failed to notice the incessant thumping of his heart, you failed to notice how his cheeks burned a bright pink, you failed to notice how Kim Woonhak was awake this whole time. 

Stumbling into the auditorium you squeezed yourself into one of the chairs arranged in rows, squished against other students like a pack of sardines. Weeks passed and you hadn’t really spoken to Woonhak ever since learning he was leaving soon, you really weren’t looking to get too attached (not like you already weren’t). But before you knew it, it was the last day of school and you wouldn’t be seeing Woonhak for a long long time. However, you’ve learned to come to terms with this fact, it’s not like you weren’t already distancing yourself from him to prepare for it. 

“Hello everyone!” Jaehyun's voice bellowed through the speakers, snapping you out of your thought process. “Today is actually one of our band member’s last days. Our Woonhak is off to Seoul soon so he requested this special song! Hope you enjoy it!” 

They then began to play a melody you felt was far too familiar, but then it hit you. It was the song Woonhak was teaching you before in the music room. Ah shit. You tried to focus on what the other members were playing or singing but your eyes always managed to drift towards Woonhak. You really couldn’t help but have a slight melancholy feeling brewing in your stomach as you realised this would be your last day seeing him. The moment felt all too bittersweet but seeing him so happy on stage performing brought out a smile. It was the same smile you had when first seeing him, when he entered the yearbook club room for the first time, when he taught you guitar, and when you confessed to him. It was a smile only Woonhak could bring out. 

And as if he was peering into your thoughts Woonhak glanced up from his guitar and looked straight at you. His warm honey gaze met yours, eyes shaped like crescents as he adorned his signature toothy grin. For once though, you didn’t pull away first. Your eyes lay fixated on his as you smiled back. Perhaps it was because you finally got close enough to woonhak to do so, or maybe because you knew this would be the last time you could truly look into that flutter inducing gaze of his. Eitherways, you knew you would regret it if you pulled away. So you didn’t. You didn’t stop looking until the performance was over and each member bowed, but even then his stare remained on you. 

As the performance ended students began flooding out the auditorium, you doing the same, but that was until you felt a hand wrap around your wrist. Jolting back you were met with Woonhak’s sincere expression facing you, an expression you felt slightly uneasy about. 

“Hey YN, can we talk?” he said, pulling you back a bit away from the crowd

“Oh uhm what’s up?”

“So uh,” Woonhak’s hand reached towards the back of his head as he pulled a bit at his hair, he was acting uncharacteristically shy. “I’m leaving after today, well I guess you knew that- but yeah uh it was fun um…it was fun working with you!”

“Thanks Woonhak, it was fun working with you too.” your words were poignant as they left your tongue 

“I uh, I’ll miss you.” oh.

“Oh, I'll uh- I’ll miss you too Woonhak…” you were about to continue your sentence until the bell cut you off, signalling students to return to their respective classes “I should get going- you did great today though seriously! Keep doing what you’re doing, your smile’s always the brightest in every room.” you continued, backing away slowly to the auditorium gates 

“It’s reciprocated!” Woonhak called out

“What?” Were you hearing things?

“I like you too YN!” oh. 

perm taglist (send an ask to be added!) @floweryang @cupidhoons @msauthor @dimplewonie @cholexc @i2ycat @bunnbam @tobiosbbyghorl @jlheon @dioll @jwsdoll

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

the murder at evergreen university

a/n: asdfghjkl I have been writing this since january...... wow. it's never taken me that long to write a story before... also I made a quick student bio about the majority of the people in this story, so if you wanna start off by looking at that, then here is the link ♡

summary:  just a slutty murder mystery

warnings: reader x various CEvans characters (Ransom Drysdale, Curtis Everett, Ari Levinson, Steve Rogers, Frank Adler, Jake Jensen, Lloyd Hansen), DARK content, noncon, smut, violence, university AU, murder mystery, detective!Ari, family friend!Ari, mma!Curtis (I just couldn't resist), surely extremely inaccurate on all levels (the college stuff, the investigation, everything, but this is just for fun so it's okay. lol I got the frat name from fantasynamegenerators.com hehe), polyamory, kissing, alcohol consumption, crying, drugging, murder, somno, daddy kink, dirty talk, choking, penetrative sex, size kink, vomiting, flashback sequences are written in all cursive

word count: 11.100

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist | evergreen university masterlist

Walking up the steps of the Kappa Zeta Nu building, you pulled your humming ear pods out of your ears and popped them in the jacket pocket where your phone rested. If it hadn’t been for the big Greek letters above and its proximity to the college, the fraternity house could almost fool someone into thinking it was just any other regular suburban home. 

Giving the front door a rhythmic knock, it quickly swung open to reveal a scruffy-looking mathematics major, still groggy from sleep. 

“Morning Frank,” you couldn’t help but notice the spark in his eye that your presence generated. 

“Angel,” your nickname sounded so good on his sleepy lips, making you smile as he gave you a quick glance up and down, “how do you look like that this early in the morning?” 

Walking past him, further into the house, you chuckled, “8:30 is not that early.”

“Um, on a Saturday it is.” 

Thanks to the open floor plan, you quickly caught sight of Jake sitting by the kitchen island, scarfing down a bowl of cereal. 

“Hey!” the blonde smiled, mouth still full of his breakfast, “I’m guessing by the gorgeous look on your face that you made it through last night?”

“Yep,” you exhaled, thinking back on the major cram session you had to power through in order to meet the paper’s deadline. The lengthy assignment for your cognitive psychology class had been so extensive that it probably hadn’t been that smart of you to keep procrastinating it the way that you had, but somehow you got it done, “turned it in just in time.” 

“Atta girl,” the computer whiz reached over the counter to give you a high five, “I knew you could do it!”

“Speaking of yesterday,” yours and Jake’s fingers lingered a moment before parting ways, “how’s our boy doing? Did he make it through last night?”

Appearing behind you, still sweaty and panting from his morning run, Steve answered your question, evidently catching the tail end of the conversation just as he came in through the door, “Curtis is doing just fine,” he leaned against one of the counters, catching his breath, “better than fine actually, he won.” 

“He did?” a bright smile bloomed on your face, “man, I wish I could have been there…” you were usually so strict about being there for important things, such as Curtis’ occasional MMA fights, but because of your procrastinated schoolwork, you hadn’t been able to tag along. “It’s all Lloyd’s fault, you know. He did the whole oh yeah, we can have a little study date, get that paper done, no sweat, and then distracted me, leaving me with all of the work to get through yesterday.”  

“You wanna turn the faucets on down here, give his shower an icy turn as revenge?” Jake suggested, fiddling with his spoon playfully. 

“Nah, I’ll just give him the cold shoulder for a bit,” you settled your forearms against the countertop, unintentionally giving the guys a better view down your top, “he hates it when I ignore him.”

“He sure does,” Jakes drawled, nearly dropping his utensil into the milky bowl as he unabashedly stared down your cleavage. 

Biting your bottom lip a second, you returned to the matter at hand, “is he up yet?”

“Curtis?” Steve clarified, opening the fridge and plucking out a cold bottle of water. 

“Yeah.”

“Nope,” Frank shook his head behind you, “he’s still sleeping.”

Only pushing yourself halfway up, you asked “can I go see him?” slightly taking the others by surprise. 

“When have you even needed permission to go barge into his room?” Frank questioned.

“I don’t know…” you muttered, glancing down at the speckled pattern of the counter's surface, “maybe he’s got company or something…”

“Angel,” Steve leaned over the opposite side of the table, craning his neck so that he could catch your timid eyes, “he is not gonna go pick up some random girl just because you miss one of his fights.”

Bowing your head, you opted not to answer, instead just attempted to shake the doubt off you entirely. 

In a bouncy rocking motion, you straitened back up and moved towards the stairs, two of the guys tagging along as they too needed to head upstairs. 

“So,” you glanced over your shoulder at Frank and Steve, “how’s Ransom settling in?”

“The new guy?” Steve spoke, “fine, I think. I don’t know, I don’t speak trust fund kid, so how would I know.”

“I don’t think he’s that bad… Shouldn’t we at least try to include him in our little group? It just seems kinda mean not to since we’re so tight and you all live with him,” reaching the top of the stairs, you heard, from the bathroom directly in front of you, the trickling clues of Lloyd’s luxurious shower, and briefly glanced down at the far end of the hall where the new guy’s closed door was, his vast room mirroring Steve’s at the opposite side, though his was much more secluded from the rest, being closed in by the injection of both the broad staircase and the bathroom before the cluster of rooms came. “Like you said, you don’t know him yet, he might be super sweet and just takes a bit of time to warm up to people.”

“Maybe,” was all Frank cagily, not giving it any more thought. 

Coming to a stop in front of Curtis’ door, you slowly creaked it open, revealing the sleeping display of a bruised buzzcut, still lightly snoring on his back.

“Jesus christ,” you breathed and leaned your shoulder against the doorframe, taking in the beaten form of your friend, “you sure he won?” you asked the men still lingering a second longer, peeking over your shoulder into the room.

“Yeah, you don’t wanna see the other guy,” Frank gave your behind a quick tap before ducking into his own room. 

Turning your head to look at Steve, himself leisurely making his way down towards the room at the end of the hall, “you sure he’s fine?” 

Stopping in his step, he offered you an earnest glance, “he’s fine, Y/n. Go wake him up.”

After shutting the door behind you, you peeled off your jacket and let it drop down onto the desk chair you passed on your way towards the small mattress. Kicking off your shoes, you climbed the twin bed, kneeling beside your resting friend.

“Wake up,” you sang, dipping your smile down low to rouse Curtis. Receiving a less than lively reaction, only getting a soft inhale of breath as an indication that he’d woken, you tried again, swinging one of your legs over his form to straddle his hips, “hey, tough guy,” you felt his palms slide up the curve of your ass and come to rest around your waist, “you alive?”

Just barely fluttering his bruised eyelids open, a bright smile bloomed on his lips, “hi angel,” he sighed contently at your presence, blinking up at your softly illuminated form as the gentle morning light streamed in through his open window, the family of birds living in the tree just outside aiding in the gentle ambience. 

“A little birdy told me that you won last night,” you let your upper body sink down against his, resting your chin on top of your folded palms, right underneath his chin.

“I did,” you saw as the sting of his various injuries woke him up even further, “although I still would have preferred if my good luck charm had been there instead of doing boring homework.” 

“Oh, please don’t make me feel any worse,” you hid your face in his chest, “I already feel like I have too much making up to do.”

“Oh yeah?” he picked your head up for you to see the sly smirk now adorning his face, “what did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” you spoke shyly, feeling your cheeks flush as the position the two of you had found yourself in dawned on you, “I just really wanted to have been there,” and you sat back up, wary of where you placed your hands for support on his beaten frame. 

“Ah,” he waved a reassuring hand, “you’ll be at the next one.”

“Oh, I will,” you grinned promisingly, scooting down to the foot of the bed as you watched him sit up, the duvet falling off his body to relieve the rest of the colourful aftermath, “a simple assignment won’t be able to stop me,” your enthusiasm made him smile through the wince he let out as he got up off the mattress.

Tailing after Curtis as he moved out into the hall and made his way down towards the lavatory, you suggested as you followed him into the bathroom, “we should totally do something to celebrate your win! It’s the weekend, we should do something fun!”

Standing by one of the sinks, Lloyd, fresh out of the shower, didn’t take his eyes off his hair in the reflection as you sauntered in. As Curtis grabbed his toothbrush, he leaned down and whispered cheekily in your ear, “I know a way we can celebrate, just the two of us,” flashing you a glance that caused your breath to get caught in your throat. 

Cutting off your flustered giggle, Lloyd spoke, “there’s supposed to be a party tonight down on the other side of campus. Me and a few of the others were talking about going.” 

“Oh, the one Delta Phi is throwing? Nat’s going to that! Said something this morning about meeting the guy she’s been seeing there.”

“What-, guy?” Lloyd finally ripped his eyes away from the mirror, “what happened to that yoga chick?”

“I don’t know, I think she was moving a little bit too fast for Natasha’s speed,” you spoke of your commitment-phobe of a roommate. Saddling up beside the fighter now brushing his teeth, you said, “so, what do you say?” bumping your hip gently against his as you saw him look back at you in the mirror, “it could be fun.”

Pretending to ponder the proposal, Curtis answered, “if you put on a pretty little dress, then I might be convinced to go,” the foaming toothpaste lightly murmuring his flirting.

“…It’s always the innocent-looking ones you’ve gotta look out for,” Ransom spoke over the loud, bassy music to the moustachioed man next to him on the couch, “and this little charade you’ve all got going on must be a hell of a good time,” he elbowed him suggestively, though didn’t conjure the desired reaction from him, “oh, come on, you can tell me, dude. Just help a brother out with a few details.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Lloyd shrugged with a smirk and took a sip of his beer. 

“What do you mean?”

Huffing out a soft sigh, he answered, “she’s an amazing girl, don’t get me wrong, but she just has a few rules.”

“What, like some bdsm kinda rules?” Ransom’s eyebrows wiggled excitedly. 

“No, man,” he tried not to chuckle at the yearned-for images his inappropriate guess provoked, “back when we met her she-… her heart was fucking broken and there wasn’t a lot of stuff that she wanted to do anymore, that she felt comfortable with, but over time, I guess when she started getting over whomever that fucker was, she began to relax and let us in.”

“So, you’re really saying you haven’t hit that yet?” the prying man furrowed his brows, unmoved by the sob story. 

“None of us have.”

“Then are those stories about you banging her last week just rumours?”

“No, no, well not exactly, we did have fun, trust me,” he chuckled, poking his cheek playfully with his tongue, “but I didn’t exactly bang her.”

“So, let me get this right, you’re all mad for her and she hasn’t given out? To any of you? What, is she still a virgin or something? Waiting for marriage?”

“I don’t think so,” Llyod thought for a moment, “but it kinda wouldn’t surprise me either if she was… I don’t know… it’s kinda complicated, but damn if she isn’t worth it.”

Letting out a low exhale, he shook his head, “I don’t know how you stand it, dude. If she was mine, she wouldn’t be able to walk. Hell, how do you even share someone like her?” 

“Well, I don’t know if she’s mine per se, we all just have fun, you know? Why not share?”

“Hey,” your chipper voice interrupted their lewd convocation as you finally caught sight of them on the dark leather couch in the corner of the party, “there you are,” and immediately grabbed each of their hands in yours, “come on,” you leaned your weight back, ushering them to get up, “we’re doing shots in the kitchen!”

“Seriously, Barnes? Watch where you’re going!” Ransom exclaimed as the host of the party had rowdily bumped into the rich boy on his way through the narrow kitchen, causing the bright pink shot in his hand to spill all down the front of his white sweater, “this is cashmere, dude!” he yelled after Bucky’s quickly disappearing form, clearly not haven noticed the interaction himself over the deafening music and his drunken haze.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, noticing the huge stain now blooming on the man beside you, “are you okay?” the sharp alcohol still stung in your throat causing your words to come out ragged. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he stared down at himself, then over his shoulder in contemplation of whether or not he should run after the guy in pursuit of revenge, “this sweater however is not.”

As your eyes washed over the ivory knit, watching it soak up the colourful cocktail, you thought out loud as an idea struck you, “well, maybe…” and acted quickly, grabbing the man’s hand, “come with me,” you yanked him past the rest of your jovial friends and down the hallway towards the small bathroom.

Catching on to where your head was at, Ransom spoke after crossing the threshold, “Y/n, this is very sweet, but I don’t know if it will work.”

“Just shut up and take it off,” you held out your hand, too blind by your inebriated problem-solving instincts to consider any other outcome.

Gazing back at you a moment, he then chuckled and tugged the sweater over his head with one hand, your eyes widening as he placed the item in your waiting palm, it haven apparently been the only layer he had on.

“Thank you,” you breathed, dumbfounded for a second as you stared at his bare chest, briefly admiring his toned form before shaking it off and spinning around to turn on the sink. Holding the stained material against the slowly trickling cold water, you pressed and pinched the spot gently in an effort to not agitate the delicate fibres. “I swear, I’m always the worst at spilling stuff on myself, I’m like a child, plus the fact that I’m a knitter, so not to promise anything, but I’d say you’re in pretty good hands.”

He didn’t say anything, simply settled in beside you, leaning against the edge of the sink as he watched your face contort in adorable concentration. 

“Oh, dammit…” you gave up after a few minutes of gentle scrubbing. Turning the faucet off, you held the sweater up and looked at the, although lighter, still very much visible pink stain, “well at least it’s a little bit better than before,” you tried, flashing the half-naked man an apologetic look, “maybe if I soak it a bit it’ll get better, but-”

“Hey,” Ransom placed his fingers atop yours still clutching the wool, “it’s fine,” he lowered your hands as he leaned in and closed the gap between you two, his alcoholic breath fanning across your flush cheeks as he uttered a quiet, “thank you,” before unexpectedly pressing a greedy kiss against your lips. 

Feeling his grip tug the sweater out of your hands, you instinctively pressed your palms against his chest for support as the whole move had made your intoxicated body lose its balance. His lips were soft, but his kisses were hungry, determinedly letting it build far faster than you were ready for.

You let out a soft giggle of surprise as he suddenly scooped you up and planted you on the edge of the sink, nestling himself in between your parted thighs, your short dress haven ridden up from the movement.

“So, is this why they all call you angel?” he asked as his heated pecks fluttered down your neck, “because you swoop in and save the day?”

“I don’t know if I do that…” you breathed timidly, the reality of what he was doing just catching up to you now. 

“Oh, but you do. You saved mine,” he smirked, “you’re my hero,” you felt the tickle of his fingers as they snuck further up under your dress, “however can I repay you?” 

“I, um,” you giggled nervously, catching his wrists before they could get any further, pressing your lips against his in an effort to soften the blow as you thought of a gentle way to let him down, “I think that kiss by itself was a pretty good thank you,” you hopped down from the sink even though he made no effort in providing you room to do so.

Enclosing his arms around you as you giggly stumbled further towards the still-ajar door, he uttered, pressing the obvious tent in his pants up against your softness, “but why stop there? I can do a lot better than that if you just give me five more minutes,” but the door conveniently swung open a bit more just as two familiar figures passed it.

“Angel!” Jake, completely blind to the man still clawing at you to stay inside the bathroom, hooked an arm around your waist and yanked you along as he and Frank jovially strolled past, “there you are! It’s almost 11 o'clock, please don’t tell me that you’re bailing on Curtis and truly dooming him to lose to us.”

“I think Curtis would lose to you two in beer pong whether I am on his team or not,” you smiled, thankful of their timing, “you guys are the reigning champions after all.”

“Damn right,” Frank roared, excitedly lifting his fist, “J and F! F and J! Ain’t nothing this duo can’t accomplish.”

“Well, not everything,” you giggled, hooking your arms around their forms as they strolled on either side of you, their arms draped over you in return, “for instance, you’re both terrible cooks.”

“Shut up, angel,” Jake said playfully, “we’re unstoppable and you know it,” he stopped you in your tracks and trapped you against the wall, “say it,” he smirked down at you as Frank, not missing a beat, slipped in as well, enclosing you completely, “say that we’re unstoppable.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, you uttered, “you’re unstoppable,” the sudden proximity awakening memories that made your heart flutter. 

“Good girl,” he purred purposely, and a shiver ran down your spine as you recalled just how hot they both sounded cumming for you, a while back, when they had managed to talk you into playing with them both. 

“You guys are so mean,” you said light-heartedly. 

“Yeah,” Frank scrunched his nose through his warm smile, “but you like it.”

Twirling you around the dancefloor, Lloyd had been the only one in the mood to satisfy your surge of energy when you came pouting, begging the boys to dance with you. Holding you close, his hands roamed as you rocked to the music, causing you to close your eyes and drift away.

“Hey,” a different hand suddenly tapped you on the shoulder and tore you out of your dream, “I need to talk to you a sec.” 

Eyes fluttering open to look back at your redheaded roommate, you gave her a quick, “okay,” before raising yourself up onto your toes to speak into your dance partner’s ear, “hey, I’ll be right back!”

“Okay,” he shouted back over the loud music, “I’ll just go grab a drink, you want any?”

“Please,” you reluctantly let go of his hand and yelled after him as you followed your friend through the swarm of partying people, “a beer, thanks!” 

Rounding the corner to settle into a comparatively quieter nook, you tugged your wild hair behind your ears as you looked back at Natasha, “what’s up?”

Biting her lip, she spoke, “you love me, right?”

“Well, obviously, I’m about to get down on one knee and everything,” you joked, “what is it?”

“Can I have the room tonight?” she asked with a small winch, knowing damn well how frequent this request was. 

“Seriously?” your eyebrows shot up, “again?”

“Please?” she folded her hands dramatically in front of her and begged. 

Letting out a soft sigh, you said slowly, “if you buy me that super good chocolate with the blue wrapper that they sell down on the corner, then-”

“Oh my god,” she cut you off and threw her arms around you, “thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“You’re the worst roommate ever, you know that?” you smiled, patting her back. 

“And you are the best, a true saint! Me and my sex life pray at your altar.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you chuckled, playfully pushing her away, “go on then, get laid.”

Returning to find that Lloyd had settled in with the rest of the guys, taking up all of the clustered couches, you put on your best miserable expression as he handed you your beer, “guys,” you dramatically caught their attention, “I have some really devastating news to tell you…” faking the need to suck in a self-soothing breath before uttering, “tonight, on this very night, I am homeless!”

“Oh no!” they played along, giggling as you pressed the back of your hand up against your forehead. 

“I know! Whatever am I to do? If only some big, strong, handsome boys would let me crash at their frat…”

Clutching onto Curtis’ broad shoulders as he gave you a piggyback ride back to the frat, you all laughed at Jake and Frank’s terrible, lewd rendition of the school’s fight song. If Lloyd had been here, if his stamina hadn’t forced him to stay out and enjoy the night a little longer, he would have probably not only joined in, but led the tune, waking up everyone in the dorms you passed. 

“So,” Ransom smirked as you all tumbled in through the destinated front door, “who will have the pleasure of bunking with you tonight?”

“I, uh,” you giggled as Curtis sat you down, your shoes clutched in your hand, “I don’t know…”

“You can sleep in my room if you want,” Steve offered generously, “I’ll just sleep down here on the couch.”

“Really? Are you sure? Because I can just sleep down here on the couch, it’s fine.”

“No, no,” he waved a hand reassuringly, “you’ve had way more to drink tonight than I have, so you should really take the room closest to the bathroom, just in case.”

Smiling widely, you stumbled over and wrapped your arms around his bulky form, “thank you, Steve,” breathing in his scent as you smooshed your face into his t-shirt, “you’re the best.”

“You wanna borrow a shirt to sleep in?” Curtis asked, reaching out a quick arm to steady you as you lost your balance on your way towards the wide staircase.  

“Oh, yeah,” you offered him a fuzzy smile, both the alcohol and the hour causing your eyelids to feel like they weighed a ton, “that would be great.” 

Getting settled into the comparatively more private bedroom located next to the stairs, the bathroom too separating it from the rest of the doors clustered down the narrow hallway, you lazily changed into the t-shirt Curtis soon handed off to you, tugging it over your dress before sliding your party outfit off underneath the grey cotton, keeping yourself somewhat covered purely because you didn’t wanna end the conversation you and the rest of the boys were trying to wrap up.

“Alright, we should probably let the lady sleep,” Steve spoke, watching closely as every time you blinked, your eyes gradually stayed closed just a little longer, nearly falling asleep against Curtis’ broad shoulder.

“No, no,” you protested, inhaling sharply in an effort to wake up more, “I’m just resting my eyes…”

“Right,” Frank chuckled as they all got up from their comfy seat on the mattress, being too tired to fight it, Curtis gently helped you lay down, tugging the duvet over your curled-up form.

“Hey,” Ransom poked his head into the room as the rest began to filter out, “I thought you might like this,” you were surprised to see him have a small glass of water in his hand for you. Not simply placing it on the bedside table by your head, he kneeled down next to you and held it out, “here,” expecting for you to take it, “I swear, chugging a glass of water helps with the hangover,” sliding his free palm under your head to raise it up.

“Thank you,” you smiled wearily as you slowly accepted it and raised it up towards your lips. 

Noticing that you were only taking a small sip, his fingers found the bottom of the glass and pressed it up further, “all of it,” he tilted it for you to down it all, “or else it doesn’t work.” 

Coughing lightly as you lowed the now empty glass, it left an odd taste in your mouth, though you just summed it up to be the handiwork of some of the strong beverages you had consumed during the night working its way up again. 

“Thanks, Ransom,” you groggily patted his cheek, “you’re so sweet.” 

His eyes flickering over your tired face, smooshed against the pillow, he smirked, “goodnight,” got back up and strolled out past Curtis still lingering in the doorway, arms crossed and watching over you like a guard dog. 

“Night,” you quietly called out after him as you saw his frame disappear towards the furthest room down the hallway. Redirecting your attention back to your friend, you hummed, “go to bed, Curt. You gotta still be super sore from last night.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Oh, so you’re just gonna stand there all night, fall asleep on your feet and act as my sleep paralysis demon for the night?” you joked with half-closed eyes. 

A small laugh bubbled out of him as he finally moved, “sleep well, angel,” he uncrossed his arms and reached out for the doorknob to tug it closed. 

“Goodnight, Curtis,” you snuggled further into the pillow as you felt sleep overtake you like a wave crashing the shore, adding absentmindedly under your breath, “love you.”

“Hmm…” you hazily blinked your heavy lids open, roused by the pinching pressure between your thighs. Looking up at the dimly lit figure, you mumbled fuzzily, “w-what?” unsure if this was real life or a dream as the whole bed spun beneath you and you felt like you were floating. 

“Shh, go back to sleep, angel,” Ransom’s grunt pierced your ears as his palm pressed over the bottom half of your face, silencing any words you might speak, “It’s alright, daddy’s got you,” a shy cry vibrated against his hand as you felt him rock against you, finally noticing fully the unexpected sensation of his thick girth stretching you out, “just be a good girl and lay right there, let me have a little slice of heaven.”

Keeping your exhausted legs spread wide apart, his determined hips acting as a door stop, he moaned quietly, “fuck, it really did do the trick,” he looked down at your dazed form, awake enough to be present for him, but unknowingly sedated enough for you not to fight back, “almost a shame you won’t be able to remember any of this in the morning,” he slid his hand down to squeeze your throat, pinching your rapid pulse and making the world even more blurry, “look at you, fucking out like a perfect little doll. You wanna be doll, huh? My own personal little fucktoy?”

Fighting to keep your eyes open, your whole body rocked at his movements as he frantically picked up his pace, selfishly pounding into you, melting on top of you and pressing your sedated body further into the bed. 

“You know, I barely needed to touch you a second before you soaked my fingers, you clearly want this as much as I do,” he tightened his grip on your throat, “you need this, you need me,” stifled moans flowed from his lips as he unmercifully pounded into you, scratching his own vile itch, “poor you, none of your boyfriends ever touch you properly. That’s just what you need, isn’t it?” he mocked as your fluttering cunt tried to squeeze him out, expelling him from your body, “you just need your tight little pussy to be stretched out? Just need some good dick? Don’t worry, angel,” you vaguely felt his tongue flicker against your slightly numbed skin, “as long as I am here to help, I’ll keep your pussy sore, keep it filled up,” you just managed to catch him growl before you lost the forlorn battle and your body dozed off again. 

Waking up with a low groan, you quickly sprung up, feeling the contents of your stomach fighting their way out. With no time to entertain the surprising presents of Curtis already curled up at the foot of the mattress, you bolted out of bed and ran out the door, thankful for the close proximity to the bathroom as you soon found yourself kneeling in front of the toilet, regretting every sip you had indulged in as they burned your entire chest on their way out again. 

Feeling as your loose hair suddenly got picked up and gently held back, you heard the warm rumble of Curtis’ voice as he said, “wow, okay, alright,” his large palm found your spine, soothingly caressing it as you hurled your guts out, “it’s alright, angel. Just get it all out.”

“Urgh,” you groaned, clutching the cold porcelain as you spat out the fowl tang, “I am never drinking again,” keeping your head over the bowl till you were sure you had gotten it all out. With a heavy sigh, you slumped back, colliding softly with the mass of your friend. 

“You okay?” he asked, lightly running his hands over your goosebump-ridden form. 

“I think so,” you blinked up into his steely eyes, the reddened look to them flying over your exhausted head, “at least I made it to the bathroom this time,” you tried to joke with a half-hearted smile. 

Letting your body weakly droop down, sighing in relief as you felt the cold tile hug your form, you heard Curtis notice, “no, no, you can’t fall asleep out here,” feeling his fingers already slide beneath your body. 

“But it’s so comfortable,” you let out a small winch as he scooped you up into his arms, your frame draping over his strong limbs, and a dull pain stung your core. “Hey, what date is it?” you suddenly asked, trying to make sense of the uncomfortable tingle.

“I-, uh, why?” he thought, carrying you back into Steve’s room, your eyes noticing the other doors down the dark hallway were all open wide, even though it was the middle of the night. 

“No reason, I just think I might be getting my period or something…”

“Miss Y/l/n?” a voice called, though you were a million miles away, “Miss Y/l/n?” 

“Huh?” you blinked, shaking your head slightly as you unsteadily glanced up at the figure, “sorry, yes,” you reluctantly let go of your friend’s hand and rose from the seat you had been waiting in. 

“You’re gonna be fine,” Curtis gave your hand one last squeeze, “I’ll wait right here for when you’re done, okay?” 

He and the other guys hadn’t let you out of their sight since the terrifying news had spread like wildfire yesterday morning and rocked the entire campus to its core. 

“Okay,” you nodded weakly, not truly present as you followed the stranger inside. 

Pulling out a chair at the cold table, you sat down and averted your gaze from the walls of the bare conference room provided by the school for the law enforcements to use for their investigation. 

“The detective will be right in, you just sit tight,” the figure spoke before they closed the door behind them, leaving you alone in the makeshift interrogation room. 

You didn’t know how long you were in there, maybe a minute, maybe ten, but soon you heard the door creak open once more and a voice, long forgotten, found your ears, “hello, I’m detective Levinson, I will be conducting this-”

“Ari?” you blinked up at your elder childhood friend in amazement, the nauseating feeling of grief momentarily washing away at his unexpected presence as he sat down opposite to you, “what are you doing here?” your eyes drifted over his informal suit, the jacket missing and the sleeves sloppily rolled up passed his burly forearms, “and when did you stop being a beat cop?” 

“Uh,” he blinked, a solemn expression washing over his stern face, softening it significantly, “around a year ago,” he then sighed deeply and said, “I really hoped there had just been another Y/n Y/l/n here at this school…”

Effectively bringing you back down to earth, “oh, yeah… will this be a problem? Can you not do this if you already know me?”

“No, no, it’s not that. I just-,” his head tilted gently to the side, “this isn’t something I ever wanted you to go through.” 

Sucking in a sharp breath, you nodded shyly, “yeah, well, I am.”

Looking over you a moment, taking in the small changes you had adapted in the years since you had last seen each other, he offered a genuine, “I’m sorry,” and attempted to catch your weary gaze. 

“It’s not your fault,” you glanced down at your hands as your fingers once again began to dig nervously into your skin, leaving angry little half-crescent marks in its wake, “you’re not the one running around murdering students,” you awkwardly attempted to joke.  

Exhaling lowly, he then opened the file in front of him and laid out a small tape recorder in the middle of the table, “are you ready to begin?” 

“Yeah.”

Pressing on one of the side buttons on the recorder, Ari then announced methodically, “can you please state your name for the record?” 

“Y/n Y/l/n.” 

“And for the record, are you speaking to me voluntarily?”

“I am.”

Glancing over the open folder sprawled out in front of him, he asked, “what was your relationship with the victim?” 

“Ransom, he-, um… he was a friend. I honestly didn’t really know him for too long, but he lived with some of my best friends, so it just seemed pretty natural for him to also become a part of our little group, if you’d call it that.” 

“And you last saw Mr Drysdale when?” 

“At the party Saturday night. I crashed at their flat after that, so it was probably early Sunday morning that I saw him last, when he was on his way to bed, I think.” 

“Did anything happen to him that night? Anything unusual? His behaviour? Someone he interacted with? Anything you can think of that stands out?” 

“Uhm,” you thought back, remembering the heated kiss you had shared in the bathroom, though looking back into Ari’s studying eyes, you couldn’t help but lie and say, “no, I don’t think so. It was just a party, you know,” the thought of telling your childhood crush that you drunkenly made out with a guy sent your stomach turning, crushing the truth before it could crawl out. 

“Alright,” he nodded, “well, if you do remember anything, please reach out, we’re running the bulk of the investigation from here, so you know where I’ll be.”

“Still have your number,” you forced an awkward laugh.

“Right,” he sucked in a breath and averted his piercing gaze, “so, uhm, I don’t think I have anything else to ask you right now. Thank you for your cooperation with the investigation.”

“Of course,” you watched as his fingers wrap around the tape recorder, clicking the protruding button and making it stop, “it-, um,” you felt a shiver run down your spine as his eyes fell upon you once more, making the polite words seem that much harder to muster, “it really is good to see you again. Nice to see that you’re doing good,” then added jokingly, “that your mom still hasn’t talked you into cutting your hair,” a sincere smile tickled your lips at the mention of the warm woman living next door to your own parents. 

Even though it was clearly forced, your words still conjured a genuine reaction from the guy who used to babysit you, “yeah, no, you know she’s never winning that battle,” he chuckled, shaking his head lightly, “it’s, uh, it’s great to see you as well. You-, um… yeah…” he dropped whatever compliment was on the tip of his tongue and averted his gaze, “I don’t wanna keep you any longer, you can go, you probably have classes to get to.”  

“I actually don’t,” you informed him, though still slowly got up from your seat, “our professors have given us all some time off to-, uh, you know…”

“Yeah…” he nodded understandingly, his vision following your form as you made your way towards the door. 

Pausing just before your fingertips grazed the doorknob, you looked back, timidly chewing on your bottom lip, “hey, Ari?” 

“Yes?” he responded quickly, clearly still completely captivated. 

Finding it difficult to even breathe properly in his presence, especially when those soulful eyes were locked upon yours, you found that your words crumbled before they even got to see the light of day, “I-, um…” then hastily scrambled your brain for a makeshift, “good luck.”

Breathing out a soft smile as he watched you nervously fiddle with the door handle, he said, “thanks, Y/n.” 

It had been Monday morning that a garbage man had found Ransom’s body in a dumpster on the far side of campus. Even though they had tried to contain the news, it still spread like a wildfire, and come lunch that day, it was the only thing any student could talk about. 

The frat quickly got sealed off as an active crime scene as it had been the last place witnesses had seen him alive, forcing the rest of the guys to temporarily bunk up with friends in their dorms. You felt a bit ashamed about the immense relief you felt at that small detail, the comfort of having each one of them fight over who got to stay with you being something you welcomed with open arms. In the end, it was both Curtis and Steve who stayed with you, Natasha giving you the room and staying with her newfound beau in the meantime, giving you the entire space for a while.  

The guys had always been protective of you, but it almost seemed to have grown over the past few gloomy days. Not a second passed by where at least one of them wasn’t at your side, holding you as you cried, walking with you through the crowded campus or just keeping you company, making sure you weren’t alone. You just added it up to be their version of freaking out and buying into the whole conspiracy that it hadn’t been a drug deal gone wrong as so many had assumed of the recently deceased playboy with a penchant for illicit substances, but actually someone on campus, a stone-cold killer masking as just the person next to you in your lit class. 

“Why don’t you go ask him?” 

“Me?” your brows furrowed in Lloyd’s direction, “why me? If you wanna know so bad, why don’t you just go ask him yourself?”

Chiming in, Jake tilted his head, “well, you did say you know the guy.” 

Exhaling lowly, you averted your gaze, your crossed arms tightening over your chest, “yeah, you could certainly say that…”

“So just go, bat your eyelashes at him for a bit and figure out how much he knows,” Lloyd tried to persuade you, though even his ever-present cocky charm couldn’t sway you this time.

Previously assuming that the whole conversation had just gone over Curtis’ head, as he had just quickly sat beside you and stared out the window, he suddenly perked up, “we just-…” he struggled to vocalise, “if it really is someone here on campus… just the thought you sitting in class with them or-, fuck, anything, it just-…” like a magnet, your fingers naturally found his own in a comforting squeeze, “angel, we just wanna keep you safe and the thought of someone like that running around terrorising the school-… just please go figure out if he has a suspect yet. See if he has got any leads.”

From the moment you had said goodbye to the familiar detective, shame about not telling him the whole truth had nearly eaten you alive. You had lied to not only a person you had known your whole life, but also a law enforcer. It was insufferable, like a snowball rolling down a hill and growing bigger and bigger with each accumulated snowflake. 

“Fine,” you cracked, the shameful storm inside your body becoming too much to bear, “I’ll do it.”

“Knock, knock,” you said with a small smile as you pushed the ajar door open completely. 

“Y/n,” Ari’s spine straightened in surprise, his eyes no longer glued to the computer screen before him, “what are you doing here?”

“Thought you might be hungry,” you held up your alibi for coming in the form of a takeout bag, “it’s from this little Indian place downtown,” you shut the door behind you before plopping the crinkly bag down on the table, the warm light from the desk lamp illuminating the brimming containers of curry stacked inside, “you like Indian, right?”

“I-, I do,” he said, still taken aback by the kind gesture, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Thought it was the least I could do as a thanks for what you’re doing,” you waved a hand in the direction of the cluttered corkboard on the wall. 

“It’s just my job, you don’t need to thank me,” he said modestly, leaning back in his chair and lending you to spot the silver pen his fingers fiddled with. 

Lowering your gaze to stare at your shoes, you exhaled, “right…”

“So, um,” he filled out the awkward silence, “was there anything else you needed?”

“Oh, sorry,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes averted, “you’re obviously super busy and here I am just barging in,” your vision finally flickered up to lock with his, already steadfast on you, “I just, uh…” your breaths became more jagged as his sky-like eyes captivated your own, “there was actually something else I wanted to talk to you about, something I wanted to tell you.”

“Alright…” he nodded, listening intently. 

Blowing out a shaky breath, you revealed, “I lied, something did happen that night.”

“Okay,” his brows furrowed, though not as much as you had feared, “what was it?” your anxious brain haven already thought of a million different dramatic punishments he could penalise you with.

“I, uh…” you squeezed your eyes shut nervously, “I kissed him,” your pained voice rushed to force out, “at that party. It was in the bathroom and almost became something else, but, um yeah… we kissed… me and Ransom…” you peaked just one of your eyes open, your tense shoulders nearly pressing against your ears at this point, “I’m really sorry, I just felt like couldn’t tell you something like that, not you. I won’t be arrested for hiding this information, will I?”

“No, no,” Ari quickly rose from his seat, “Y/n, you’re okay,” he stepped closer to you as he attempted to calm your uncalled-for panic, “you won’t be arrested.”

“Oh,” you breathed, “good,” feeling your shoulders begin to drop back down again, “you know how my mind tends to freak out.”

“Yeah,” he nodded softly, “I do…” his words genuine as memories conjured the whisper of a smile to appear upon his lips, “thank you for telling me.”

Awkwardly, you flashed him a tight-lipped smile, grateful that uncomfortable moment had passed, you recalled the other reason for why you had come, “so…”

“So…” he echoed.

“Do you have any leads, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“That’s classified information, you know I can’t tell you that.”

“I know…” you averted your gaze and scrabbled your brain for what you could do or say to get him to tell you, “it’s just, I’m so scared all the time. The school was always a place that made me feel safe, till now…” although your intentions behind those words weren’t completely truthful, the statement wasn’t that far off, “it was just worth a try asking you.”

Holding your gaze, you could almost see his heartstrings get tugged as his brows quivered in compassion, “I-… I do have something. If you didn’t know, we just finished sweeping the victim’s living quarters, so if they haven’t already been notified, your friends should be able to move back in by tomorrow, but we also found something, not there, but in proximity to the dump site, there was a knife with traces of the victim’s blood on it. It’s in the lab right now as we speak, trying to decipher if there are any identifiable prints on it.” 

“Oh my god…” you felt goosebumps sting at every inch of your skin. 

“You haven’t heard any details about what state his body was found in, have you?” 

“No…” both from avoiding the papers and keeping to your dorm, you might be the only student on campus not aware of how your late friend had died, “he was stabbed?”

“That was decisively what killed him, yeah, but he was brutally beaten before that.”

“Holy shit, that’s-…” you shuttered, your eyes just now noticing the nauseating photos pinned on the board beside you, “fuck… I don’t know how you do this all day, deal with these kinds of things.” 

“It gets easier over time,” he shared, his worried eyes scanning your face a moment before apprehensively uttering, “this might be a really stupid question, but how are you holding up?”

“I-…” you toyed with the thought of lying to him yet again, but then opted to share the truth, “I am not doing so good, to be honest. I could probably count the number of hours I’ve slept in the last few days on one hand, or so I’ve been told. I don’t think it feels like I’ve slept at all, but apparently I have, just a little bit.”

Sucking in a pained breath, he murmured, “I’m sorry. I can help find someone you can talk to, if you want.”

“No, it’s alright,” his kind offer made it easier for you to look away from the horror plastered all over the office walls, “I mean, I’m not alone, that fact has become crystal clear throughout all of this.”

“Yeah, I kinda pieced that together,” he spoke in a much different manner than before, causing your brows to crinkle, “I conducted all the other interviews. It’s nice that you’ve made friends, making the most out of your college experience,” he said in a tone, almost reminiscent of jealousy.  

Averting your eyes, memories you so desperately tried to keep at bay pried their way in and snuffed out the fuming flicker his resentment had ignited, “hey Ari?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you know?” you asked wearily. 

“Know what?”

“Did you know all of those years, growing up together?” you lifted your vision once more as he offered you a questioning hum, “did you know that I was in love with you?”

Taken aback, it took a bit before he managed to answer, “no, I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you ever call me? You just left.” 

“I was getting married, Y/n. What was I supposed to do?” 

“Not fuck the girl you used to babysit,” you shot back coldly, “what even was I to you?”

“I-… I don’t know,” his frustrated words came out breathy, “do you think I planned for any of that to have happened? To sleep with you of all people? I didn’t. But when I came home that summer and saw you again, saw who you had become, I don’t know, everything just changed, you changed. I fully thought that you’d to still be that same little annoying brat you used to be, but you really weren’t. I didn’t expect it to happen, I didn’t expect you to suddenly do something like that to me, have that kind of power over me!”

“So, you just decided to break my heart instead? I was mad for you, for as long as I could remember. That summer was the happiest I’d ever been and then you just up and left in the middle of the night without a word. Did you even think to imagine what it was like for me to run around that morning looking for you and instead finding an invitation for your wedding? I had to hear from your fucking parents that you had just come home to prepare things before the big day. You hadn’t even mentioned to me once that you were engaged, or even as much as just in a relationship. Was any of it even real to you or was I just your last bit of fun before you got tied down?”

“It was, Y/n,” he insisted sincerely, “it was the realest thing I’ve ever felt.”

“Then why did you go without as much as a goodbye? You know how much that broke me?”

“Yeah, well you seem to be doing just fine now,” he said pettily. 

“Excuse me? You don’t get to say something like that to me. You were the one who broke my heart, you don’t get to judge how I glued it back together. Just go back home to your wife, why don’t you.”

Suddenly looking back at you in confusion, Ari then illuminated carefully, “Y/n, I’m not married.”

“What?” you blinked. 

“I mean, I know you weren’t there that day, but I thought my mom at least had told you,” the gears turning inside of him were nearly visible to the naked eye, “I couldn’t go through with it.”

“What? Why?”

Biting his tongue as he held your eye, he then exhaled, “because I didn’t think I should get married if I was in love with someone else.”

Sucking in a stunned breath, you saw tears cloud your vision, “b-but… you never even called…”

“I know I didn’t,” he concurred heavily, his eyes unable to look away from your glossy ones. Feeling as if you might faint, you saw his woeful vision flicker down towards your lips, “I’m sorry, Y/n.” 

But just as you saw him slowly inch his face closer and closer to yours, a sharp intake of air stung your lungs as you raised a hand up as a barricade, “I can’t…” too scared of history repeating itself, “we can’t…”

Sighing deeply, his eyes traced the tear that rolled down your cheek, “I know…”

You had just been helping the guys move back into the frat. That was all you had been doing. One moment you were all laughing, actually having a normal and pleasant moment for once, and the next, two officers were barging down the door and reading Lloyd his rights. 

You’d nearly lost it completely and Curtis had to hold you back so that you didn’t go scratch one of the officer’s eyes out. The man in the cuffs however took it with style, only trying to break through your hazy to let you know that he would be fine and for the others to take care of you, after all, this wasn’t his first rodeo down to the station, although those times it had only been for petty crimes like bar room brawls and such. 

“But I mean, how did it even happen?” you thought out loud a while later, the miranda rights still ringing in your ears like a triggering song you just couldn’t get out of your head, “that’s what my mind keeps going back to,” you had finally calmed down after what felt like forever of the guys talking out of marching down to the station to do something, anything to get Lloyd out. Completely powerless, you sat curled up at the end of the couch as words flowed from your exhausted lips, “how could someone like him be killed? He was such a nice guy.” 

Not being able to stand it any longer, Curtis pipped up from the armchair on the other side of the living room, “no, he really wasn’t,” your bolstering words about the deceased being too much for him to take without cracking, “he was a rich creep and everyone knew it,” frustratingly, he gesticulated, “with everything that he did to you, how can you just sit there and say that he was a nice person? The guy drugged you and violated you in your sleep for fuck sake!” 

The room went dead quiet as soon as those words left his lips. 

“…what are you talking about?” your voice no higher than a whisper as you watched your burly friend shrink in regret. “Curtis,” you repeated more sternly this time as he didn’t offer an explanation, “what do you mean? What did you do?” your voice broke as thoughts about if Lloyd’s arrest hadn’t been a misunderstanding after all entered your mind. 

“You can’t tell her,” Frank shot a glare at the fighter, “we had a deal.” 

“Yeah, well that was before Lloyd got fucking arrested!” Jake chimed in, panic shining clear through in his tone, “she’s a part of this, has been since the very beginning. She has a right to know.” 

Finding your wide eyes in the crowd, Curtis asked you wearily, “you really wanna know what happened that night?” hugging your knees tighter to your chest, you gave him a small nod in confirmation, “fine, I’ll tell you.”

…

“Is she okay?” Curtis pushed the ajar door open further to ask, haven, on his way to the bathroom,  caught sight of an out of breath Ransom tugging the covers back over your passed out form. 

The head of the cashmere-clad man snapped up at the sign of company, the sudden alarm that began to bloom on his features was quickly drowned out by his usual arrogant air, “yeah, man,” he shot back defensively, rushing to get out of the room, “she’s fine,” sounding like it had been a completely crazy question to ask. 

Furrowed brow staying put, Curtis uttered slowly, “alright, but I think I’m just gonna check myself, if you don’t mind.”

“I said she’s fine!” Ransom slammed the door shut behind him, prohibiting the man now only inches from him from entering, “just go back to your own room!”

Worry and suspicion only growing at the obvious fibs, Curtis demanded, “what were you doing in there? What did you do?”

“What are you talking about?” he scoffed back. 

“What did you do to her?” Curtis took a looming step closer just as their raised voices began to stir some of the other slumbering residents.

“I didn’t do a thing,” he cockily dared a chuckle, “calm down.”

“I will not fucking calm down,” Curtis barked back before attempting to call to you through the closed door, “angel, you okay?”

Leaning against the wall beside his own room, Jake rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he groaned, “guys, can you not yell in the middle of the night? Some of us are kinda trying to sleep here.”

Frank, as well haven appeared, seemed a little more alert at the sudden commotion in the hallway, “hey, what’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on,” their suspicious friend waved a hand, “Curtis is just being a little bitch and freaking out for no reason,” the ostentatious gesture granted the opposing man an opportunity to slip past and enter the room.

Nearly kicking the door down, Curtis rushed to your side, examining your unconscious form with worried eyes, “angel?” the dim lights streaming in from the hallway just barely letting him notice how wrinkled and haphazard the t-shirt he’d lent you just a few hours before was on you. 

“Jesus, just let her sleep, dude.”

Ignoring Ransom’s words of warning, Curtis tried once more, “Y/n?” touching your skin lightly before giving you a gentle shake, “come on, wake up for me, baby,” his heart nearly beat out of his chest as he unsuccessfully tried to stir you, the shallow rise and fall of your abdomen not granting him as much comfort as it should have. 

Nearing the end of the hall, Frank asked once more, “what’s going on?” side-eyeing Ransom warily, “is she okay?”

“Of course she’s okay,” the trust fund kid scoffed.

“The fuck she is,” Curtis’ head whipped back in the direction of Ransom’s silhouette in the doorway. Getting back up on his feet, his sharp intakes of air causing his shoulders to rise, he stormed back out and demanded, “what did you do? Why were you in here and why the fuck is she not waking up?”

“Did you not see how much she had to drink tonight?” Ransom defensively gestured to your passed-out form on the narrow bed, “I was just checking up on her,” and with a heavy sigh abandoned the argument entirely and descended the stairs. 

Catching Curtis’ arm just in time to stop him from storming down after the man at the centre of the quarrel, Frank tried to catch the darting eyes of his friend as he asked firmly, “Curtis, what’s going on?”

“I saw him in there, hovering above her like a creep.”

Already worried eyes suddenly growing in alarm, “he was in there?” Frank quickly shared a panicked look with Jake, both now sharing the same inkling of what horrible thing had occurred, “alone with her?”

“Yes.”

“Wait,” Frank gasped, “did you say she’s not waking up? She is still breathing though, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, she’s just out cold. Why?”

“Oh my god…” Jake shuttered, his interrupted slumber now long forgotten.

“What? What is it? What aren’t you guys telling me?”

Exhaling lowly, Frank carefully began to explain, “Curtis, you know that my sister goes to Bayshore, right?”

“Um, sure, yeah?” unsure as to why that fact was significant.

“Well, she told me about this student who overdosed after being drugged and raped. The guy was apparently caught and everything but just came from a wealthy enough family to not only never be convicted, but also keep the news out of the papers. Curtis, that’s where Ransom transferred from.”

Seeing nothing but red, Curtis stormed down the stairs. On his determined path to the kitchen where the object for his bubbling rage now stood, leisurely sipping from a glass of water. Curtis narrowly caught sight of Lloyd as he finally stumbled through the entrance from his drawn-out merriment, uttering a hushed apology to the bulky frame of Steve on the couch for the way he had carelessly slammed the front door shut behind him.

Only rolling his eyes at the sight of Curtis, Ransom didn’t even lower his glass as the fuming figure neared, “dude, I already told you, I didn’t do a thing-” though the rest of his provoking words got squashed as Curtis’ fist suddenly collided with his jaw, swiftly grabbing onto his soft sweater before he could crumble like the shattered glass now scattered across the cool tile, “what the fuck!”  water splashing onto both of their feet. 

“What did you give her?” Curtis barked, his fingers digging into the intricate, stained knit so hard that they threatened to poke through to the other side. 

“Give who what?” appalled glare piercing as he fought against the hold. 

“Y/n!” he shook him heatedly, “what did you give her?”

“I didn’t give her shit, man,” Ransom just managed to spit out before white knuckles collided with his face once more. 

“Did you touch her? Because I swear to fuck, if you laid even as much as one finger on her, I’m gonna-”

“Oh, I see,” he actually dared to chuckle, a bit of crimson already staining the pearly whites he flashed, “you’re jealous that you didn’t get with her tonight.”

Landing another raging blow, Curtis yanked him in close and growled, “you shut up and answer my question! Did you touch her?”

Scoffing through his laboured groans of agony, Ransom finally disclosed smugly, “of course, I did, man. She’s been all over me all night long, begging for me to give it to her good.”

The rest of the frat haven now clustered in the kitchen as well, staying in the periphery, Frank accused, “what did you give her? Was it the same as the girl you killed back at Bayshore?”

The deep-pocketed man’s eyes flickered over Curtis’ shoulder, bruises blooming and swelling up his vision, “excuse me?” 

“The rape victim that overdosed at your old school?” the bridge of Frank’s nose twitched in fury, “it was you that killed her, wasn’t it?”

“I didn’t do anything of the sort, all I did was show those girls a good time, it’s not my fault some can’t keep up.”

“Is that what you think happened tonight?” Curtis hauled him against the fridge, gaining the man’s attention once more, “you call assaulting Y/n a good fucking time?”

Keeping his head held high, Ransom slurred, “what are you ashamed you’re not man enough to rough your girl up a bit and give her what she really likes?”

Huffing like a bull, he uttered, “she does not like it like that.”

“Oh yeah? Then tell me why I had her moaning the way I did, dripping down on ol’ Steve’s bed like a cheap whore. Kind of a shame that she won’t remember any of it in the morning, just hope I fucked her good enough that at least some part of her won’t forget…”

…

“Oh my god…” you shuttered, unable to look any of them in the eye, “oh my god,” your palm shot up to clasp over your lips to choke the shaky cry that forced its way out, “I thought-…” vision darting everywhere and nowhere at the same time, “I thought it had been a dream,” tears streamed down your ghostly face as the hazy nightmare suddenly came into focus, “oh my god! I-… I knew him,” you jaggedly tried to piece it all together as vile stung in the back of your throat, “he was-, he was my friend. I hadn’t known him that long, but he was my friend. I-… he wasn’t just some dangerous stranger in the back of an ally threatening to kill me, he was my friend.”

…

The incoherent screams of Curtis slowly subsisted as his rampant blows finally slowed down. Slowly backing up, chest heaving, horror took over his eyes as he saw how far he had been pushed, watching as blood bubbled out of Ransom’s mouth, guggling his words.

“Just you fucking wait till my family finds out,” he weakly continued his threats from his wrecked position on the tiled floor, “do you have any idea how much power money gives you? I can squash you all like little bugs, ruin any chance you might have of a pathetic future and keep angel all to myself.”

Unable to look away, Steve suddenly uttered as Curtis shakily retreated into the shadows, “…guys, we have to call an ambulance.”

Whipping his head around, Jake protested, “no, don’t!” ready to swat away any phone that might be raised, “he’s right. He has the upper hand no matter if we get him to a hospital or not.”

“So, what do we do? Look at him,” Steve woefully gestured to the beaten playboy crumbled on the floor, “he’s dying. We can’t just leave him here!”

“No…” Lloyd sighed, his demeanour seeming surprisingly calm and level-headed under the circumstance, “but we can use what little time we have left before the sun comes up to our advantage…” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Frank’s brows furrowed frightfully. 

In a wide arc around Ransom’s broken form, Lloyd made his way over to one of the kitchen counters and pulled open a drawer, “he said it himself,” he exhaled lowly as he accepted his fate, “he is more than capable of making not only angel’s life hell, but also all of ours,” his tone cold, he riffled through the utensils, “from where I’m standing, there’s only one way for us to get out of this with minimal casualties,” and fished out a knife, the steel reflecting in the low light seeping in through the other room. 

“You can’t be fucking serious,” Steve gasped, “we’re not murdering him!” 

“So you’d rather try and explain his corpse just lying here in our kitchen? This way we get the upper hand, we speed up the process and use the remainder of the night to our advantage till the rest of campus wakes up, hide him somewhere else, somewhere he won’t be found,” Lloyd stressed, “we have to kill him, it’s the only way.” 

“Shit dude…” Frank breathed, he and the rest realizing that he was right, “where would we even hide him?”

After only pondering it a second, Jake pipped up, “it’s trash day tomorrow,” tensely sharing glances with the rest, “if we get him to one of the big dumpsters on the other side of campus, drop him in there, no one will know! And even if they do eventually discover parts of him out on some dump, they won’t be able to get anything off of him anyways at that point.” 

“I-…” Curtis’ shaky voice finally filled the room, guilt seeping through in his brassy timbre as he asked what no one else would, “…who’s gonna do it?” 

Not letting the others even consider that weight, Lloyd swiftly declared, “I’ll do it.”

“What?” the trembling fighter’s eyes finally lifted.

“If they actually do somehow manage to nail us for this, it should be me that goes down for it,” he stated deliberately, “always knew I’d go to prison at some point just like my old man, this way it wouldn’t be for anything stupid.” 

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[a-d-nox]

nox tests hypotheses: "saturn tells you what annoys you"

this is one of shawtyherbs hypotheses. this is how i feel this manifests for me in my chart and why i believe this hypothesis works. my saturn is located in my 3h, in taurus at 29°... let's take deep dive!

taurus saturn

a lack of discipline: i feel like i have a strong work ethic - i value hard work. i despised when i did group work in school and i was paired up with procrastinators or people who were unwilling to put in the necessary effort to achieve a good grade. it felt like every time i had my part done i would start getting anxious that the other person/people didn't. it felt like a manipulation - like we were playing chicken. if they didn't do it, would i do it for them? how long did they have to wait until i stepped in?

instability and unpredictability: sudden changes, chaotic environments, and erratic behavior can make me uncomfortable, anxious, and annoyed. i guess it's sort of like a trauma response from childhood except now i get irritable... everyone know my dislike for surprises.

wastefulness: i get easily irritated by wastefulness, whether it's wasting time, money, or resources. again maybe its from my childhood and having those experiences. but i am the type of person who arrives on time. if i buy something and don't like it i use it until it's gone, i eat it til its gone (even if its stale), or i use it til its paid itself off (if i buy a shirt and can't return it and it was $30, i am wearing it 30 times). it sounds strange - i know - but it is how i am...

superficiality: i really value authenticity. i feel like i am easily annoyed by superficial behavior, materialism without substance, and people who put on mask to fit in... like so what if you don't laugh at someone's shit joke, so what if i am happy with my hydroflask and want nothing to do with a stanley (it's all the same to me), and who cares if your true self is not everyone's favorite (you'll find your people a whole lot faster if you're your self).

resisting practicality: you know how much advice i have given throughout the years THAT WAS ASKED FOR and people did what they wanted anyway??? why even waste my time if you don't want outside perspective. or something its just kind advice to help with ease like hi you are using a stain on the deck, i recommend you wipe as you go so it dries quicker and you don't accidentally smear/smudge later. but nooooo.....

saturn at 29°

arrogance: you know it's okay to be wrong... it's not okay to pontificate about how you were right in some alternate scenario. just admit you were wrong in this situation and move on or better yet say nothing...

irresponsibility: when you say you are going to do something do it. if you are a leader then lead and know that you are responsible for anything you designate to someone you view as your subordinate (especially when you don't train them on what you want them to do for you). if you can't commit to having a task or being in charge than don't do it. someone is relying on you - it's 10 times worse when its yourself and you push goals to the side.

unfounded claims/criticisms: perhaps i am overly sensitive to criticism because i tend to take my work and my self a bit too seriously. but if you can't take yourself and what you do seriously, then who will? i take everything personally too. so when i get criticism and its said in a nasty way (at least how i interpret it) or there is a lack of explanation or no backing i will get annoyed. you bet my humor will be ill-tempered... you can't expect me to react well to a comment like "you're wrong". like wow okay so detailed, i'm glad you decided to write one word and a contraction to dismiss my 2k essay. like if you are going to criticize me or disprove me make it detailed and make it sound. and if i do something wrong its probably because no one told me how to do it in the first place (cough cough work) so don't snap at me, walk me through it.

lack of respect: now listen - i'm no angel, i was a teenager once - eyerolls and all. but now that i am a bit older (she said at 23) i am getting to the point where respect isn't freely given (unless its to build a good first impression) but instead its earned in a pre-existing relationship. i don't tolerate disrespect, no one is going to snap at me and tell me what to do. you do that and you will get the opposite reaction that you expect from me (speaking from real life situations). asserting dominance doesn't make you worthy of respect, it makes you a bully.

3h

superficial conversations: i said it why back when in one of my get to know me posts. i prefer deep, meaningful conversations and i find small talk / superficial chatter frustrating or pointless. like skip to the meat bruv - we don't have all this time for "hi how are you?" "good how are you?"

disorganization: a lack of structure, whether in communication, in a learning environments, or my daily routines, irritates me. i feel like it effects me most in the routine bit. weekends are my prime culprit because my schedule falls apart. during the week my meals and tasks are standardized, but on the weekend, i somehow manage to always get annoyed because i eat lunch late or what i had in my mind to do gets tossed aside...

gossip/rumors: i feel uncomfortable with gossip, i prefer facts and reliable knowledge. which i know facts seems shaky when i am posting the content i do... but generally facts over fiction in conversations. gossip and the like almost always gets me in trouble - i struggle with holding my tongue especially when i see someone regularly who has been gossiped about frequently. withholding information is a form of lying in my opinion - and lying makes me extremely uncomfortable.

impulsive decisions: i am trying to get better about this because i tend to carefully deliberate everything. but i don't like when others around me make impulsive decisions that effect me because it ruins the plan i already had in my mind. for example, last weekend i wanted to go to an all day fall festival with my mother (and yes i told her tuesday my plan) but last minute my mother's boyfriend-not-boyfriend said he needed her help with a project and it was going to be an all weekend thing. so friday night my plan went out the window. so quickly had to make a new plan consisting of paid readings, trader joe's, and shampooing my couch (fun stuff i know...).

a lack of respect for rules/boundaries: a disregard for social norms, etiquette, and established rules of communication annoys me so badly. like it is common courtesy (at least for how i was raised) to call or write in advance of stopping over at someone's house. my mother's boyfriend-not-boyfriend is the biggest perpetrator of this behavior. they aren't technically dating anymore so hello hi in my opinion he should be giving us a heads up if he will be stopping over. also switching gears when i say "no" or "i don't want to" i feel like a lot of people around me push me and test me to see if i will change my tune. i don't appreciate that in the slightest. i make clear boundaries in all the relationships i have (even here i have guidelines) - so yes, you bet i get frustrated when i vocalized or wrote my boundaries and yet they get ignored.

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[goldfish-afterhours]

Genshin Characters During Finals Season (College AU)

Characters: Zhongli, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Albedo, Bennett, Childe, Kaeya

Type/Genre: Bulleted headcanons, comedy

Warnings: Foul language, slightly suggestive humour/for comedic purposes

Zhongli

Calm and collected at first

As the days go by, Zhongli would start looking more and more like a tired dad

Walks around slightly frowning, bags under his eyes from all nighters, and clutching a mug of coffee so hard that people are afraid it’s gonna break, but even more afraid to tell him to be careful

Has heat compresses on the back of his neck and forehead to ease the headaches from the lack of sleep

Probably told Childe to shut the fuck up and mind your own business when he warned him about his cup

“Childe, if I do not kill this final I will kill you in its stead. Leave me be.”

Thoma

Probably part of one of those student care organizations that makes care packages for other students

His smile when he hands out the packages is so bright and healing it could bring back the dead

Always motivating his peers and tries to keep everyone’s spirits up

Offers to get everyone in the study group coffee

He’s not the best at school but he has a lot of friends that are willing to tutor him and do his assignments help him with his work

Likes to snack while he’s studying

“No giving up yet! Let’s take a snack break, you’ll think better with something in your belly.”

Venti

Chills at a coffee shop with a big friend group to “study”

They do jack shit

Probably spends more time staring at the drink menu than his exam notes

Grade A procrastinator, does all his homework the night before it’s due and studies for exams the morning of

Due tomorrow do tomorrow amiright

Always seems to do okay tho?? People wanna scold him for his bad study habits but he actually does okay in school so they can’t really say anything

Doesn’t study hard but parties 100x harder

“Come on, live a little! If your exam is at 2pm, you can just start studying at 9 tomorrow morning and you’ll be fine.”

Xiao

Pulls all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after all nighter after-

No one can ever find him during the day on campus or in his dorm—it’s like he despawned and just does not exist

Only time he is spotted by others is always at 3am in the morning like a cryptid and he looks like a zombie

He’s actually working a part time job along with going to classes and helping others with their work. An angry looking good boy.

Studies in the lecture halls by himself, blasting music as loud as he can on his headphones to keep himself awake

Mf going to go deaf is2g lower ur volume boi

“…hey. I’m getting a coffee, do you want one?”

Albedo

Plans his time meticulously. Has an extremely organized planner where he writes out exactly what he’s going to do at every hour of the day so he can maximize his week

Includes mealtimes, breaks, and poop times relaxation periods

Usually studies in his room, but for some reason people keep barging in on him to ask for study help so he has to find different hiding places to work in peace

So far, the best place has been the graduate students lounge. No he does not belong there, but no one questions him because it looks like he does

“If you really need my help, I have twenty seven and a half minutes between lunch and my bathroom break this Thursday. Come find me then.”

(Rejected quote: “What’s my masters in? No no, the only thing I’m a master of is your mom.”)

Bennett

The type of person to have the “please don’t talk to me I have work to do and if you talk to me I won’t stop” sign on his back while working in the library

Fell asleep while completing an assignment

Missed the midnight deadline for said assignment

Slept through the exam the next morning

At this point just let him sleep at least he won’t have to deal with it then

“That was a good nap…now I got the energy for my assignment and the exam!”

Childe

Would be a good student if he wasn’t bothering other people so often

Probably bakes when he’s stressed. His roommates are always awoken at 4 in the morning to the sound of the oven beeping and the heavenly smell of freshly baked cookies

Has a friendly rivalry with Zhongli. He always asks when Zhongli will be turning in an assignment, and what mark he’s aiming for for the final exam

Turns in the final paper at least a week before it’s due and aims for ten percent higher than Zhongli on the exam

If he needs bonus marks to reach that then so be it

Otherwise slacks off a bit

He’d be a really good student if he wasn’t so competitive with Zhongli all the time

“You good, Zhongles? You trying to squeeze a better grade out of that mug?”

Kaeya

This man probably used red bull as the liquid for his instant coffee

An absolute menace and loves messing with people

Tells them that the exam is on a whole other different thing than what they were studying for, or that the due date of a big assignment was changed

Nobody goes to him for help

If you do genuinely need help with a concept, though, he’s more than willing to help

Just make sure to provide adequate compensation for him ;)

By compensation I mean more red bull this man has drank 3 cans in ten minutes please stop him

“What? If they do shit, that only helps with our bellcurve, right? Their fault for trusting me anyways~”

[auraworkshop]

Hello Aura!! Aaaa, okay. I’m not here to write a success story yet! But to ask if I’m as close as I felt just a couple of moments ago.

So, I found about the void, the I AM, the golden state, aaaall of it a couple of months ago and I went through probably all the stages of someone trying to get the life of their dreams.

Overconsumption, doubt, and spurts of obsessive motivation that honestly took me nowhere. I have ADHD so the methods where I had to close my eyes, stay still and affirm never did a thing for me. I’d do them, six minutes at most would pass and I’d feel like a failure.

Procrastination got a hold of me and I’d feel more motivated to script and write what I wanted than actually go and try to get it because part of me knew I’d last very little. I tried yoga nidra, hypnosis and subliminals with very little progress and most likely because of my own laziness because in my mind if I was so powerful then why did I have to try so much. I have to mention I’ve used subliminals in the past and I’ve gotten little to no results so at night I’d cry and ask what is wrong with me. Since I know they work and the law is real.

Yesterday I came across a couple of posts with ADHD friendly methods where they say to let your mind wander and to let it do its thing. Plus others saying to mentally listen to music? But that’s not what I did.

I made a playlist of songs that wouldn’t bore me and I wouldn’t feel inclined to change the song. in total an hour or so. I knew if stayed still enough my body would be numb, I wouldn’t feel my fingers, my toes, etc.

If I concentrated in the songs instead of how tedious it is to stay still then it’d be easier for me.

I didn’t know if this was the floaty feeling everyone talks about until I decided to look into the black of my eyelids and try to see beyond that while affirming. my void is full of stars so I started to affirm they were slowly appearing and suddenly I did feel like my body was lifting up from my bed and numbness extended through my whole body including my face. Pins and needles like when your arm falls asleep, some of my muscles tensed and my heart started pounding for a second, I kept affirming but the song playing plus the excitement of feeling something overwhelmed me and I started to go back.

I paused the playlist and went to listen to epsilon waves and affirm but the idea of waiting for everything to happen again overwhelmed and frustrated me.

Was I close? How should I go forward? I sorta need advice directed at my situation because I can’t relate to most void posts.

Thank you for your time!!

I can relate to this so much. Trying various methods for so long with no result yet people were out there telling me that I must keep persisting. But I just didn't understand how to persist through the frustration of getting no result. It was only when I let go of this desire and I stopped caring about anything that anything and everything happened in the best way. I cannot even think of a single method that I followed to enter the void. I just stopped caring and let my mind wander.

You've already experienced a shift within your state of consciousness if you have reached a stage where you were listening to music and letting your body go numb. You need to let yourself flow without overthinking or overloading yourself. That is why it is important to start small because the feeling of going to the void state will come in fragments at first. That's just how the state of consciousness manifests itself. Let your mind wander and flow. Do not limit yourself with doubts of why it is taking so much time or why it's not working because that is exactly what it is, trust the process.

Everything you just experienced is a confirmation that you are exactly where you need to be. It is not a coincidence that you suddenly felt pins and needles throughout your whole body. This means exactly that your consciousness has started expanding, you've gone beyond your ordinary state.

You do not have to wait for it to happen again because you are already experiencing it. What you should be doing right now is continue with the process but you are going to be more patient. Be mindful and observe that which has changed in your perception, be aware of the subtle shifts ! 🤍

[bipanicoverthegravessiblings]

soooooo, i don't know if you already did that and i just could not find or something, but i'd really love you to write something about julia dating the reader, like, her love languages, how would be the perfect date night, etc

there's not enough julia content for me

thank you so much in advance! ^^

You are so right about the need for more Julia Content

Julia x Reader

You cannot fathom the idea of anyone mistreating Julia

She’s just so- sweet. Even raising your voice at her feels like a crime punishable by death

You just wanna hold her face in your hands and squish her til she pops

But you won’t- you’ve been told you were too rough last time you tried to do that

The best way to describe the start of your relationship with her was….slow

She was slow to trust. Slow to allow you to touch her. Slow to even get into a relationship to begin with

But- you didn’t mind. You don’t have all the details of her previous partner, but honestly he sounded like a jerk

He never raised his voice or hit her or anything, he was just weird

Apparently he wanted her to tie her hair up to look like another girl

That’s where she stopped though

You’ve gotten bits and pieces of some other trauma though

Being harassed and stalked by an ex friend, and another friend of hers being killed and the body never being found

You just wanted to hug her when she told you that last part

When she did- you thought you might’ve died then and there

If she trusted you enough to let you hug her…it means progress was being made

As the relationship progressed, you started to see more of Julia

Not the timid girl you began dating, but more of the side of her that was comfortable around you

The side that would kiss you on the cheek, or cling to your arm

The side that told you about her ideal date over the phone one late night

“Why do you wanna know?..” You could almost hear the small head tilt usually did when asking a question. It warmed your heart to bits.

“So I can take you on it,” you exclaimed, grabbing a notepad nearby and balancing the phone between your shoulder and ear, “Now tell me, please?”

Julia hummed, debating whether to tell you or not, “What’s wrong with the dates we already have? I like them plenty.”

“Nothing’s wrong with them,” you waved your hand, though you know she wouldn’t see, “But I wanna do something special for our anniversary.”

“Oh shit that’s coming up?” You heard some shuffling on the other line, likely Julia sitting up in bed and rushing to look at her calendar, “Fuuucckkk it is! How did you remember that?”

You grinned, “I’m a genius hun, now tell me!”

“Fiiinnneee-“ Success!, “It’s stupid though..”

“Noooooo!” You objected, leaning back against your bed frame, “Come on! It’s not dumb! I bet it’s wonderful.”

“Hmm…okay- I’d…really like to go to a petting zoo.”

You blinked, “That’s it?”

“Is it bad?”

“Not at all!” You sat up a little, “What’s so dumb about petting a bunch of cute animals?”

“I guess I just worry about that ya know?”

“Well stop it!” You knew that wouldn’t stop it, but it’s worth a try, “Wanna know what you can get me for our anniversary?”

“Uhhh…flowers? Food?”

“Nope!” You shook your head, grabbing the phone from its spot between your ear and shoulder, “You can’t worry or apologize for anything the entire day!”

“What?!” She objected, “But that’s gonna be so haarrddd..”

“Don’t care, it’s my gift!”

“Can’t you just stay over and I give you a different kind of gift?…”

You felt your face heat up a little. Tempting as the offer was, you were stagnant on her not worrying or apologizing for something out of her control.

“Maybe next year—“

Your heart fluttered at the sound of Julia laughing on the other line, “Okay- okay…I guess I have a date to look forward to.”

“Yup! I’ll leave you be now, I know you’ve got studying to do.”

“Can’t I procrastinate more? I like you better than studying..”

“Sorry babe, not happening. Loveyoubye!” Julia started to object but you hung up. You can apologize for that later. You scribbled down various things on your notepad, the plans for the perfect date!

It was clear to you that Julia’s love language was quality time

She liked being around you, and indulging in your hobbies was how she showed her love

Whether it be physically being there, or calling every night before she went to bed- or had to cram for school.

It made you happy- seeing her this way.

Excited to be around you, comfortable enough to hang off of you in public, to let herself love you

And you’re glad she did

[whatevertheweather]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Thank you for the tags @bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @youarenevertooold I've been in search of ways to procrastinate <3

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

I'll go with one that isn't being posted yet: Callous.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Touch starvation + poor communication = Baz's No Good Very Bad Night

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

PTSD, disassociation, and, uh, emotional hurt/comfort?

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

Bold of anyone to assume I'm good enough at coming up with titles that I have multiple to choose from. Oh! But actually I do for Bait and Switch, thanks to Dre brainstorming fishing idioms with me. There were 4 alternatives, but my favorite is All is Fish, because it makes no fucking sense.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

It had better be Musical Chairs.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

In an uncommon turn of events, I only have one (active) WIP right now that's not already named as it will be posted, and that's "yeah sure let's just write some shit that's way later and not finish the other that's fine"

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

It’s just…there’s also some deer in the headlights energy to him, which, mixed with the general aura of barely tamed violence, is throwing Shepard off. Truly, it’s been a good long while since he’s done this kind of pinballing over what he’s seeing when he looks at someone.

He does know what he’s seeing when he looks back at Simon. It’s the sort of face that has him politely averting his eyes to examine the bland thread of Simon’s shirt instead. He thinks walking in on the two of them tangled up without a stitch of clothing wouldn’t feel half as intrusive as looking at that expression did.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

I had to abandon about a page of the above misnamed WIP (now to be succinctly abbreviated as YSLJWSSTWLANFTOTF) because it no longer fits the tone of the rest of the fic at all, which is sad because it made me laugh. It's too long to put here in its entirety, but here's part of one line, which shall function as the dead darling's eulogy: "I know you have a dick, Baz, I’ve fucking well been thinking about it!”

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Okay there's one I don't want to say much about because, selfishly, I want to be the one to write it, but it's related to truth spells. (Technically I've started it because there's a document with 10 scattered lines of dialogue, but I haven't started it started it.)

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

I'm trying to focus on 3, but I might have to say 4 here.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

I have rewritten the same 4 pages of Musical Chairs about 5 times. It's absurd. I know what's going to happen, I have the ending written, I have almost everything that gets us there written, and yet this section is u n d o i n g me.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

I'm gonna take that as me sending kudos to all these lovely people: @cutestkilla @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @artsyunderstudy @fatalfangirl @whogaveyoupermission @iamamythologicalcreature @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @martsonmars @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @larkral

[marbarmars]

I think I finally made y’all wait long enough (and procrastinated on writing this long enough) so you finally get Salem posting part 2!! I also changed up her design a lil very recently! It’s not much though, just more curl to her hair and a gemstone on her hat that resembles a gemstone on the Shadow Queen. I have the art on my art blog too, but here it is! I made the background myself too based off of a completely new location in my TTYD lore :3

So without further ado, lemme describe what it would be like if Salem was in TTYD!

Salem the Shadow Siren: Sidequest

Before chapter 4, if you talk with some NPCs, they speak of a lanky ghost-like creature that travels alone and seems to be afraid of its own shadow. It’s supposed to be vague for now but it’s foreshadowing to Salem. There will be a mandatory cutscene between Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 which you will see Salem physically for the first time in the Rogueport Underground. She’ll mutter to herself about how cruel her mother is for looming over her like this. Salem asks nobody why can’t she just live in peace and that the end will come soon. She starts rambling to herself about a garden she needs to keep up with in Petal Meadows. It will be then, mid sentence, that Salem notices the player. The room turns pitch black and then Salem is gone. You will have to remember this information after you get Vivian, because her veil ability is needed to make Salem comfortable enough to appear in her first secluded location in Petal Meadows. If you decide to pursue her, that's when the sidequest truly begins. Your second encounter with Salem in Petal Meadows will leave her shocked, as she is very scared of Vivian. Sadly your partner does not know much about Salem, but the physical similarities does confirm that Vivian and Salem are both Shadow Sirens, and thus related. Salem is scared that Vivian will try to drag her back home, or get Beldam to drag her back home. Confusion ensues on how Salem knows the Three Shadows, but Vivian hardly heard about Salem. Despite her kind nature, the lanky siren pleads to not hurt her plants and leave. A choice prompt will show up >Okay, we’ll get going. >Where is your home? If pestered enough about where Salem used to live she will get upset with you, and dim the lights. When you can see again and Salem is gone. Picking the first option will just make this go quicker. There is a note on the ground that tells you that she has a garden to tend to in Keelhaul Key. And no, you can’t actually hurt the pretty flowers Salem planted, that would just be rude. :( As you progress through the game new garden locations will open up, backtracking, yada yada yada. She sticks around for longer each time you see her, and you learn more about her. There’s a point where a battle is initiated, but Salem doesn’t attack, and after a few turns she flees. If Goombella uses tattle, her stats will be illegible, and not much is known about Salem. Once you have access to the Palace of Shadow…if you have successfully done all of Salem’s encounters, she will send Mario an email to meet her at her favorite place in the world: Shrinking Violet Summit. (There’s a new pipe that opens up that will lead you directly to the place, and it’s not very big either. This is more just to see how beautiful the place is and set up something important. This time you won’t need Vivian to have Salem appear in the room she’s in, she will be there waiting for you to talk to her. And if you do, she will thank Mario (and Vivian) for helping her gather the courage to open up. She’s aware that you opened the Palace of Shadow, and decides to tell you everything. The Mother she keeps talking about, is in fact the Shadow Queen. A long time ago, the demon decided she wanted to raise an heir to inherit her power and rule the world in case anything bad happened to her. That’s how Salem was born. In truth, she is over 1000 years old, and was there to witness the Shadow Queen sink the ancient Rogueport and create the Crystal Stars.  She did not however, witness the four heroes defeat her mother and seal her away. For the longest time, being the Shadow Queen’s daughter did not feel right. She was created to help drown the world in darkness…but she saw the light, the beauty of Earth. Salem decided enough was enough….and ran away from the demon. The Shadow Queen let her live…Salem does not know why. (It is revealed when you face SQ there is further context that she wanted Salem to orchestrate her return to prove that letting her live despite her traitorous actions was the right decision, not Beldam.)

Salem has known Beldam for a long time, and feared her loyalty to her mother. But she wasn’t aware that Marilyn and Vivian were created. She lived in fear of Beldam finding her and dragging her back to the Palace.

The partner Mario brought out will ask if Salem will come with them to confront the Shadow Queen. But….despite everything, she says she can’t. Salem is afraid to fight. But, she won’t leave you empty handed, and will give you a Jelly Ultra as a sendoff gift to help with their fight with her mother. (Which fun fact, that would be the only one you can get for free without needing to make a recipe! So she gives you something really valuable for all the trouble!)

The even cooler part is, she has one last email to send after Mario defeats the Shadow Queen. She asks him to meet her at Shrinking Violet Summit again, and with a newfound determination…Salem learns that she needs to stand up for herself. She will forever live with the regret of not facing the Shadow Queen herself…but she will try her best to make things right. She asks Mario if he would like to fight her, and reveals that she’s pretty tough. People used to fear her…instead of her fearing everything.

Waboom! Surprise she’s a superboss! You’re basically facing a Shadow Queen EX, with some differences in Salem’s attacks. But if you can defeat her, she will become recruitable as a post game partner!!

I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m gonna have to make a part 3…this was even longer than my last post about Salem SOBBB

But this next part will be about what she’s like as a partner, and finally addressing her likes, dislikes, personality, etc.

I will see you tomorrow at noon folks :3

[givemethesleep]

*KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR*

Congratulations! Wizard Game Brairot has TAKEN OVER and I blame you! Your wizposting has let me properly rediscover the joy of this game and is slowly healing my inner child!

For SDW: 2, 5, and 6

For whoever your main Pirate is: 3, 22, 25

HIIIIIIIIII <3 <3 <3 home from work and procrastinating editing so woe, sdw edgy ask meme upon ye Stephanie Dragonwhisper

2 - What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

For a theurgist in her pristine white and green robes, its probably hard to believe that she was hardcore into the PvP scene in the arena! Most of her spare time between classes was spent taking turns with Suzie Gryphonbane blasting each other to a pulp. On top of this, she's also a skilled swordsman, mostly due to her travels with her adoptive parents, Zeke and Eloise, meaning lessons in Skull Island! So yes, she plays the part of the calm, collected, gentle theurgist when she has to, but SDW is violent and incredibly strong, both within a dueling ring and out.

5 - How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

I think a fun problem for SDW is that the only things she wants are things she physically cannot achieve whether she tries or not. For a time, all she wanted was to go back to Earth, to pretend none of this ever happened. But, due to the time disparities between Earth and the Spiral, there was no way she could return without spending the rest of her life in a lab. For a time, it was to become the Wizard, to take that weight off of their shoulders. But fate doesn't play that way. She cannot take the weight of the Spiral for them. She isn't strong enough. For a time, all she wants is her son back. But she knew the Drakes, watched the fallout of Malistaire's grief, and she knows better than to try. She's sick with a longing there's no remedy for.

6 - How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Look. Listen. Okay. She's a member of the Council of Light. The backup Wizard, so to speak. And as a result, especially in her early days, she was complicit in a hell of a lot of stuff that she in no way endorsed. But she was young, and despite her shouting she was spoken over. The Council's decision to force the Wizard on without Dyvim is one of her worst moments as a Councillor. That was plain cruel. But she grows sick of that quickly and forces herself to be heard. She's angry and abrasive and challenges the Council on any and everything she deems unfair or immoral, advocating for the Wizard in their absence. She still fumbles, or is involved in decisions that go against her values, but it takes a lot for her to willingly consent to or actively do something she thinks is wrong.

As far as Pirates go, my pirates aren't p101 specific but I'm gonna talk about them anyway. He's not my main pirate but, at least for the book I'm currently writing, Fiorenzo Adathan is who we're following so for the next 3 I'll answer for him.

3- What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Ohhhhhh boy. Fiorenzo is a coward. He is painfully aware of that. This man has not once stood up for himself, and bows to everyone else's will. He frightens easily, and is abused consistently by his incredibly unstable captain. He's aware of his cowardice for two main reasons - in running from his father, Fio forced his younger brother into being their father's heir, and a childhood of abhorrent treatment to form him into the cunning lord their House needs, and his cowardice meant that his lover, Adam, is taken hostage and subjected to a fate worse than death. And he could have done something to stop both of these things happening, but he didn't!

22 - What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Okay so like. I struggle with alignments because I always find it more complex and situational. But the simplest answer is probably Neutral Good, which is wild for a pirate. Neutral, because, while he does have a blatant disregard for the law, he does follow specific rules to the letter - mostly so Lenora lets him keep his head on his shoulders. And, despite his y'know. piracy. he values human life above all else and is less violent than most of the cast. But again. Good is subjective here i feel LMAO

25 - What is your favorite thing about your OC? Hehehehe. He's just. He has to do so much work on himself. He's not the worst version of himself but he has so many shortcomings that make his life worse, and impact the people around him negatively. And even when he DOES get Adam back, there's no fixing the blame on Fio. Just. Chewing on him. He's Not A Good Person.

[j0kers-light]

Hey hi my loves!! 🖤✨

Ahh yes, the first mini project is complete in my journey of “procrastinating on writing the next chapter of His Lighthouse.”

Please don’t be upset with me, I have an idea on how the next update is gonna go its just the matter of writing it. That’s the hard part!

Please accept this fluff moment with J!! 🥹 This idea popped in my head when I was exfoliating before a shower and well... I hope you enjoy the mini snack! 🖤✨

It wasn’t his proudest moment yet Joker wouldn’t spend his quiet night at home any other way. Sitting in front of his pretty girl, getting pampered really wasn’t as bad as it seemed, even if he looked absolutely ridiculous while doing so.

“So? How does it feel?” You asked. 

Joker thought about it long and hard and flickered his gaze up to you, catching a curious gleam in your bright e/c eyes, staring back at him. You arched an eyebrow, waiting for a response. 

He wrinkled his nose and sighed. “It tingles.”

“Okay…? Does it tingle because it's actively working or tingles because it's uncomfortable? I don’t want you breaking out or anything.” 

He went to scratch his face until your hand stopped the motion. “J, stop or you’ll wipe it off! You don’t want all my hard work getting ruined now do you?” You smiled and wiped your own hands off on a nearby towel. 

Joker looked handsome despite wearing a cow print spa headband with a blue bow on top. It kept his freshly washed hair away from his face as the moisturizers, toners, serums, creams, and countless other products absorbed into his face. 

He sat at your ring lit vanity to let you apply just about every product you owned to his face, all with a grumpy frown for almost an hour now. You were nearing the end (that’s the lie you’ve been telling him for the past twenty minutes) until you slapped– literally slapped– another product into the apples of his cheeks.

And that’s where he was right now. 

Letting some flowery smelling acid that he couldn’t even pronounce, eat (safely) at his skin. If it made you happy… he’d endure the odd textures being patted, slapped, and blotted on his rosy toned face. 

He secretly enjoyed being doted on but he wouldn’t admit that aloud. 

“It. Just… tingles Bunny ‘tis okay.” He mumbled. You took pity on him and kissed his bare lips with a flourish. At least he enjoyed that. 

“Alright J, but you’ll tell me if it starts to irritate you any? I want to help combat your bad skin habits, not make them worse.” Of course he took offense to that and made a face. 

“What bad habits?”

You crossed your arms and leaned back on the vanity, still standing in between his legs. Did he seriously not know the damage he did to his skin for years? 

“Joker. You leave heavy greasepaint on your face for weeks at a time for years without cleansing your pores and you think that’s not bad habits? Who would’ve thought you had freckles under that ghastly white paint?!” 

You giggled at the pout Joker unknowingly made and plopped down onto his lap. He automatically opened his arms to hold you close. “I didn’t care bout it doll, not until you, err.. educated meee on iT.”

“Exactly! I can’t believe you hid such a handsome face all these years.” You cupped the back of his head and admired his unique beauty up close.

It was a privilege only you held. Joker was truly a diamond in the rough and it still baffled you that he chose you as a partner. “This skin routine is beneficial, even if it tingles.”

Joker grunted and almost bent down to steal another kiss when the timer on your phone went off. “Oh! Time to remove the eye mask. Show me that gorgeous face, J.” 

He straightened up in his chair as you hopped off his lap to start removing the pads under his eyes. His long lashes tickled your fingers with each blink of his stunning green eyes. You waited a second to let the product dry before reaching around to grab something from the counter to complete the last step. 

“Say la.” You urged. Joker arched an eyebrow until he mirrored your lip’s motion. You blinked when you saw his sharp canines flash a bit. Hello, hello…

You finished off Joker’s routine with a swipe of a hydrating lip balm. It felt funny applying it to someone else for a change. 

You smiled once you were done and leaned back to admire your hard work. Joker’s face looked like a dewy, glazed doughnut. A grumpy doughnut, but hey you weren’t picky. 

“Annnd done! How do you feel?”

He cracked his neck after sitting for almost an hour but stared at his reflection in the mirror. Ehh not bad. 

He watched you put away the excessive amount of products back into their designated spot. He still didn’t see why you went through all this trouble every night with him. What did you get out of this? He looked the same in his opinion. 

You squealed when Joker grabbed you around the waist and attacked you with kisses. He knew the products on his face wouldn’t smear but you still laughed and told him to cut it out.

He grinned and yanked the ridiculous headband you placed on him off before lifting you up bridal style. 

“I’m more in-ter-rested in making you feel goo~ood. Why don’t we take this to the uhh bedroom Bunny?” 

You were all peals of laughter as Joker cut the bathroom lights off before he tossed you on the bed to start his favorite night time routine, pampering you. 

[lillonvia]

Ayyy mama! guizhong asker is back! (I couldn't use my phone for a while, anyways-) part 3 bAby. So like I said guizhong is alive and well in the game, still pretty cheerful but kinda off for r e a s o n s we already know. (I think it would be pretty cute if both zhongli and her disguise as mortals together as a couple) traveler doing the story quest and all, But it's a bit different. I like to think at this time and age of liyue lots of people would know reader's story and would incorporate it to lantern rite and just other things in general (like how in the game zhongli asks traveler to get the perfume and glaze lily as offerings, I think this can just be coincidence but guizhong). Like how superstitious farmers and shepherds putting bells on their flock of sheep so they would be able to find them, and people putting bells on graves so their deceased loved would be able to find their way home, heck the story itself could be a use for parents for their children to not stray away from them. Okay enough story building and on to the actual ask- ghuizhong meeting a reincarnated reader as a shepherd using the bell for his flock (reader is a teenager in this) how they met is because traveler and zhongli was trying to convince reader to give them the bell for a discount. (since I also wanted to add that bells are really only sold by farmers/blacksmiths since other than for spiritual reasons aren't really sought out for) oh yeah- the stuff that zhongli needs are different in the game it's now like- a toy, the bell, and jade

i have been procrastinating too much i hate myself- IM SO SORRY ANON I CANT WRITE A FIC ABT THIS I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF DOING SO </3 but ill share my thoughts and interpretations on it utc instead if that workshsj

guili stepping down from their pedastals and instead posing as a mortal couple is just so adorable to me <3 i have LOVED (platonically) guizhong and guili ever since i saw the lantern rite 2023 cutscene on youtube YOU DONT UNDERSTANDD why did hyv kill off such beautiful and wonderful ppl 😭 first tomo, then signora, makoto, then bonanus, menogias, and guizhong?? WHY. ok thats enough outta me-

and the shepherd bit is also really interesting, since we don’t really have any sort of hint of agriculture yet and i think that it’s really intruiging and unique <3 i love the fact that reader’s story is still well known across liyue to the present day, and i’m sure guizhong is happy that reader’s memory is preserved via the usage of bells.

AND M O R E FOUND FAMILY TROPES W/ GUI AND REINCARNATED READER?? YES PLEASE‼️ i feel like at first, guizhong would try to stray away from helping to find the bell that once belonged to reader, bc she most likely feels that if she did come along (not to mention zhongli was so understanding of this JSJSJSJJ), the memories would come rushing back and theres a chance she can’t hold it in anymore. you has always been so very special to guizhong and by extension, zhongli, after all. <3

the moment guizhong realizes that reader was reincarnated in a mortal body is probably when she notices how similar current you’s speech mannerisms and little habits—that no one else really noticed but she did, shes your mother after all—greatly resembled the traits of the half-qilin!you.

and the final nail in the coffin is when they asked to spend a moment with guizhong in private, and they dropped a BIIIGGG bomb by saying,

“ its nice to finally be able to see you again, mama. ”

HEHEUJTLRB im so delulu when it comes to mama!guizhong <3

[thedemonscrawler]

gonna procrastinate on writing by talking about writing woo

So, fun fact! Permission Slip is usually being written on two different documents at once, which should be but are not actually identical? And neither of them match the actual AO3 version you guys read?

1st Draft

The first draft is written with a combination of OpenOffice and Google Docs.

(I'll get to why that says Mobile Copy in a sec)

The OpenOffice document is meant to be the Master Draft of the fic. It's the entire story so far-- outline, notes, all the chapters written and the bits of chapters we haven't gotten to yet.

Yeah, it's lengthy. The reason it says 'Active Version' is starting around Chapter 5, I began saving a copy of the document up to the most recent chapter finished.

This is because of how I write scenes out of order, and having an older draft lets me go back for things that got rewritten. It's also really neat to see how various ideas evolved over the story, or how old some of the scenes are.

OpenOffice has the Master Draft, not just because it can handle it, but so I can put my laptop into airplane mode and write offline if I really need to focus. But the story doesn't stay there!

If you've seen the snippets I've shared, you know that sometimes they're highlighted in grey, like this:

(yeah you enjoy that snippet from Chapter 15)

The grey highlights are a system to tell myself 'this is a section that needs to be copied over to the other document', almost always a section I have just written that session. Feels good to have a whole page in grey.

So from OpenOffice, the grey sections are copied over to GoogleDocs, and become the 2nd Draft.

2nd Draft

..okay, so there are actually TWO GoogleDoc copies of Permission Slip. One of them is a 'master' version, just like the Open Office file. The other is the Mobile version. The master version has all of the chapters and outline and stuff, while the Mobile copy only goes back one or two chapters prior to the current one. Why?

Cos it turns out that when a document gets to be around 110 pages long, Docs starts being a little bitch and lags real bad on mobile, or starts crashing. So the mobile version was made so I could type on my phone. Same deal, new sections are highlighted in grey and copied back to the OpenOffice version when I'm on the laptop again.

Since the GoogleDocs version can be worked on from multiple locations, it's the one that gets the most edits. If there are substantial changes made they'll be copied back to the OpenOffice document, but minor edits aren't as crucial, and there are some sections that are pretty different between the two now.

From the GoogleDocs version on to the final(ish) version:

3rd Draft

The AO3 version should match the GoogleDocs version, and for the most part it does-- but not always. That last minute readthrough to catch all the spaces added after italics is also a time for minor edits. Missing words, dialogue rewrites, etc. There's one chapter that had a chunk written in the editor, but unfortunately I can't remember which one it is now 8'D only that it's between chapters 9 and 12. Naturally the AO3 version is the one you guys get to see.

Uuuuh yeah so. Overcomplicated system, go!

Also if you want a word processor for free, I recommend LibreOffice! Its based on the same open source software as OpenOffice, only it's actually still being updated and stuff (I still use OO just cos it's what I have 8'D).

Unfortunately I have yet to find a word processing app with cloud-based storage that can be edited from multiple devices, so I can't replace GoogleDocs with something better.

[hobidreams]

‼️long yap incoming‼️

GODDDDD do not get me started on my thesis😭 not sure how it is for other unis, but my uni requires the cw thesis to have two parts: the critical essay and the creative work!! the crit essay is what i’m working on rn, and it has to be around 6-8k words, while the creative work has to be a MINIMUM of 25k words😭😭😭😭😭

i have so much pent up rage at how it’s structured bc like… the critical essay is supposed to be about the creative work, right… BUT we have to write it before the creative work even exists??? i am quite literally pulling shit out my ass😭

i’m working on a historical fiction novella, so i’m honestly not suffering that much because i like the research of it all, but GODDD this critical essay is gonna be the death of me!!!! it doesn’t help that my temp adviser rn isn’t a good fit for me, bc i’m just not a fan of how she’s asking us to work😭

also, part of the crit essay is our poetics, so i had half a mind to cite mlt as a creative influence on my work😭 alas i wasn’t sure if i could (and if you’d be okay with that) so i decided to talk about doctor who instead lol

and!! i’m actually like.. 90% sure that i don’t want to go into law, i cry super easily😭 i’m incredibly non-confrontational and i think i’d shit myself in class every day lmao, but when i was younger i considered it because i got baited by suits💀💀 how are you doing so far though!! also, how’s the wedding coming along (if u don’t mind sharing!!)?

lowkey miss the times where everyone was active on tumblr, myself included🥹

-🌿

GIIIIRL WHAT THAT IS SO LONG!!! undergrads here don't actually have to do a thesis when majoring in creative writing... only honours students. only masters students have to do a creative portfolio as the thesis but theres no critical essay i think.... so girl im so sorry you gotta deal with this T_T!!!

omg omg omg omg omg im sooo happy ur doing a historical novella??? you can use mlt as you please HAHA but i like doctor who too so that's an awesome choice!! i hope things are going well <3

FADSLKJADFS LMAO suits baited a whole generation of ppl tbh LOL so many ppl i know in law school are into it. yeah... if you're non-confrontational its probably not the best idea haha. but theres always the more paperwork focused lawyer positions loool. what are you thinking about doing after grad?

the wedding is mostly planned i just need to put final decor details on it and im procrastinating that so fucking hard 💀💀💀 i just am so tired of the whole thing and the pressure of making everything look pretty. but i'll dive back into it after exams cuz I GOT A JOBBBBB so i dont have to worry about my grades or school as much 🥰🥰

i miss those times too 😭😭 im actually going on a lil writers retreat next year with some writers that i met here on tumblr <3 so i still keep in contact with people but it's definitely not the same as it was when we were all super active :'(((

[mimikyvvnz]

An ask for one of those 2 you missed: Do you have a hobby or interest you wanna rant about? I'll read it all :)

okay so um. um um. okay i. good timing cause i was cooking up a good old yap!!! honestly drawing/creating is such a big part of me like what the hell! i procrastinate watching/playing games because i prefer making stories and characters myself and ERRrrr a lot of what i make is very personal to me!!! like characters will be based off people i hold dear to me and all etc etc i even do this subconsciously and only realize who i was thinking of when i made a certain character very much later on coughs and/or my character's backstories and lives are usually related to a part of me (i will write about my ocs and all later on) (i loooove being lazy /j) so if my characters seem not so diverse im sorry!!!! this is all i know how to write and i don't want to write anything else because i might get it wrong or i don't feel passion for it oh my lord!!! my art is also so symbolic sometimes (especially with the nonexistent colors) (you guys are just colorblind. trust) (me not coloring my art is also a symbol for somethign SJDSJSDJKJjdjskds)

another thing to consider is art has been my hobby since even before i had the mental capacity to remember things!!! i'm also self-taught without any formal education on this lol so if you see me make a lot of anatomical mistakes (i hate anatomical mistakes but art is art. mistakes are mistakes. and mistakes are a part of art) erm!!! no you didnt (lol) ERM. okay im dumping art tips here too now okay TIP NUMBER ONE DO NOOOOTTT care if you make mistakes DO NNNNOOOOOOOOOt be a perfectionist with your art this type shit hurts your self esteem and ruins your motivation! art is supposed to be fun not a burden lalala. be free. be carefree and all whateverr pro tip nummber two tune your feed to give you art that has artstyles you like this is just a personal thing but i tend to copy what i see so i dont want other traits that i have to work to unlearn in my art errm! learn color theory /j (i dont know color theory i just eyeball it and i have one rule) guys please wait i made a tutorial on my color stuff somewhere pls https://www.penup.com/artwork/1697369659896622?collectionEnabled=false guys pls i made this a long time ago and my style changed a lot imm crying i had to scroll way back to my old art to find this thing i okay im done THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I MIGHT EVEN ADD TO THIS LMAOOO

WHY DIDNT THE LINK EMBED IM SO MAD i read the tutorial again and its so badactually sorry guys i am not smart anymore

[an-aura-about-you]

a little more procrastination, a little more Handbook for Mortals!

let's do Chapter 8 part 2:

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade told us she was flirting with Jackson. we didn't actually see her flirting with Jackson because the narration thought it was more important to show us the logistics of everybody going home.

-Zade walks into her apartment and reiterates to us that she likes both Mac and Jackson for some reason.

-Zade wonders if it's possible for her to love two people and thinks it's not, but sorry, you can't convince me that polyamory wouldn't be a viable solution. High Noon Over Camelot changed my brain chemistry too much for me to not consider trying it.

-she also seems to think Mac and Jackson are friends but I don't really know if that's true. this is the first time she's brought it up, we haven't had any scenes with just Mac and Jackson by themselves, and with how she laid everything out with Tad back in the chapter that introduced him (that I mercifully spared you from reading) it's weird that it wasn't mentioned before. granted, she could be lying again like she did about what happened after she saved Sofia. I am whipping this dead horse until the remains are dust.

-the writing level of this book is so bad that I was actually impressed when Sarem used the correct its in a sentence.

-Zade takes a moment to think about Lambo Girl but decides she's just not as worried about being kamehameha'd in a parking garage as she is about which boy she wants to kiss.

-ok. so I am actually super lenient when it comes to cartomancy because I don't do a lot of it and thus don't have a lot of practice. typically I use my tarot cards to prod my brain for answers by association. "I have drawn x card, which means y in this position in the spread, and this makes me think of z. Why is that?" that's how my own readings tend to go, a way for me to examine why I think the way I do and what I want to do about it. as a result, I believe there is no wrong way to read tarot cards.

or rather, I thought that until I read this book. because Sarem writes the one possible way to do a tarot spread wrong. observe:

I promised myself to do a reading on her when I was done with this. (For what it's worth, I did--and I came up with nothing. The cards made no sense, which told me that someone had gone to great lengths for me to not get a reading on the situation at all...So I pushed the whole incident--and the girl--out of my mind and decided not to worry about it till it came up again.)

what.

the fuck.

do you mean.

you came up with nothing?

how do you come up with nothing with a deck of tarot cards?? no associations spring to mind whatsoever??? did the cards become blank? were they replaced with garbled text and images making them illegible? how are they not making sense? by contradiction? contradictions happen with people all the damn time! also how would this go down in the movie that's totally gonna be made f'real? essentially skipped over like this? just paid lip service?

this is the scene I was saying would be better with a crystal ball or a scrying mirror because this bullshit would make way more sense.

-let's add another tally to bigoted language because it's spirit guide time.

-based on how Zade words her query, she's looking for commitment, which just feels weird when you aren't even really dating either of them yet. don't you wanna, oh I dunno, do that first??? The Straights Are Not Okay.

-Zade is sad about her lack of communication with her mother when she's making the active choice to not contact Dela. we're gonna learn in a little bit that Dela has also chosen not to reach out to Zade, so idk what to tell these knuckleheads. they're just determined to play sea lion and squirrel.

-Zade takes the time to explain what all the cards she lays out means except the Devil because she doesn't know why it's there. really????? you get a card from the Major Arcana in your spread and you aren't even a little tiny bit curious about why that's there???? or the fact that it's appeared between the Magician and the Lovers and shares imagery between both of those cards??????

in fact let's go over it a little bit. the book doesn't specify the orientation of all of these cards, so I'm gonna be a basic bitch and assume none of the cards are appearing reversed.

brushing up a bit from biddytarot.com, the Devil is the shadow self, attachment, addiction, sexuality, and restriction by choice. and without looking up the other cards in this set of three, I know the Magician and the Devil both have their hands positioned As Above So Below and the Lovers are mirrored in the captive couple in the Devil.

honestly, the thing I'm taking from this is Zade is the one causing her own problems. if Zade is the Magician, and she does see it as literal for herself, then the Devil combining imagery from the other two cards is putting Zade in that spot as well. she only sees the Lovers as representing a potential relationship for herself, and while I do agree that that's not necessarily wrong, it does feel like willfully overlooking that it's also a card of choices. when taken as a complete story in these three cards, it will not reach that happy liberation until Zade relinquishes whatever darkness is keeping her from making a choice.

for someone so determined to get back home and do a tarot spread, she sure is willfully blind about what it's trying to tell her.

-we get the spreads for both Jackson and Mac and Zade is ultimately like either of them would be good. hmmmm I wonder if the tarot cards are telling Zade that she needs to make her own damn choice on this one???? think that's a possibility????

-we then jump to an italics scene and get an update on what Dela's doing. she's been doing tarot spreads on Zade to figure out what she's been up to. seems weird we're getting Dela's pov on this, but then maybe Zade didn't have anything to say about how the first card she got for the three she laid out for her future was the fucking Tower??????? I mean, she basically ignored the Devil, so this tracks.

-Dela then gets a customer so we can get info on how tarot cards work in this universe. said customer is a woman who gets more specific description than any of the other women we've been introduced to apart from Zade combined. even more than Lil, who did get a description but it was that of Generic Goth With Tattoos.

-ugh, Dela's talking about Destiny too, but like. I guess there's only so much fighting about it I can do? if it's right there in the story, then that's how it is, but stories in which a character can't escape destiny can be so much better. idk, the thing that I would say if this is a real world situation is the truth: that there are things that we will never be able to control. some things are set in stone, but idk if the things I think of as set in stone are the same things Dela thinks of as set in stone.

-omg it's the lemonade scene. you guys are not ready for the lemonade scene.

-get ready for some serious tallymarks.

-but before that let's play another quick game of When Is This Story Set? Zade buys a small lemonade from Hot Dog on a Stick in the Fashion Show Mall in Las Vegas, Nevada for exactly $2.09 after tax. the same lemonade today costs $3.99 before tax. I don't know what Hot Dog on a Stick's prices have been historically, but if I had to guess, I'm willing to bet this price is circa 2011 when Sarem first started writing H4M the screenplay.

-the teen boy cashier is all goo-goo eyes at Zade and he compliments her hair. I don't even understand why everyone is complimenting her hair? I don't mean that as a slam on it because it's simple, even though it is based on how she described it. (I don't think I ever bothered to mention it because of how unimportant it is? but she's dyed the lower half of her hair like pink and blue and green and shit.) but Zade's hair is the thing she's gotten the most compliments on. she told us back in Chapter 0 that the people she knew back home said she was sweet and kind, but nobody she's talked to in the book has said that about her. it's one of those things we have to take her dubious word for. and that's about to be made even more dubious.

-the narration points out this cashier is probably 19 or 20, so fully an adult and not much younger than Zade, but it feels gross for Zade to look at him and think, "Talk to me in ten years." like. why are you saying a jailbait line if he's not jailbait?

-I will give Sarem this, at least she's writing Zade uncomfortable with Alan the cashier's attention. this is clearly her glamour going on, the thing Lambo Girl said she had.

-but uh-oh! Alan's girlfriend also works at Hot Dog on a Stick and she's mad that Alan's making goo-goo eyes at Zade! so instead of telling Alan to quit it she goes to yell at Zade? why?

-Zade's telling us she's not afraid of this teenage girl getting up in her face about this, but why would any adult be? especially when said teenage girl is more than half a foot shorter than you? it's a simple misunderstanding and you could just walk away.

-Zade tells the girl not to start anything with her, but she's getting mad.

-"I'm not really sure why I had allowed some lemonade girl to bother me--" an excellent thing to bring up since that is exactly what you are doing by not walking away. you know full well she's being unreasonable and she's at work. she, theoretically, is already in plenty of trouble for starting shit with a customer. you don't need to do anything else. but I know you're gonna.

-"I wanted to teach her a lesson." and here's what Zade does to do that: she uses her magic to make the vat of lemonade explode, dumping the entire contents of lemonade on her. the narration says it sent "shards of glass in every direction" so you can't fucking tell me she didn't get absolutely glassed. Zade even had enough presence of mind to spare everyone else. add this assault to the violent actions tally.

-things Zade could have used magic for but didn't: saving Sofia's life

things Zade used magic for but didn't have to: putting up a tent, assaulting Hot Dog on a Stick girl

-she straight up says, "When life hands you lemons..." as she walks away, the thing she should have done before it escalated to this point.

this is how the chapter ends, with Zade assaulting and humiliating a teenage girl due to a misunderstanding that we know full well was because of Zade's magic. the girl was saying some hurtful stuff to her, and it's true there was no need for it, but Zade was the adult here and she chose to do something that could have killed another person because she was called a skank and a bitch. jesus fucking christ.