#okay but they're so silly like them them them them

[cj-the-random-artist]

This was like way funnier in my head but I've figured out (finally) how the Goat works in my still unnamed QPR Narilamb au

Basically the idea is that, after a long time repressing their anxiety, Lambert (somehow, I haven't figured out the details yet) accidentally summons the Goat, who is a physical manifestation of what Lambert believes to be their most negative traits, specifically the ones they have tried extremely hard to hide from their flock. I think my Lambert is a major perfectionist and can't handle the idea of doing anything even slightly wrong ever and that eventually makes them quite... closed off and unapproachable. The Goat, on the other hand, is all the things Lambert has been trying to hide from their flock for like centuries- they're impulsive and disorganized and silly and very very okay with not being perfect, and the flock finds them so incredibly endearing. And Lambert and all their social anxiety is so very baffled. Also I think Narinder appreciates the Goat and warms up to them faster than Lambert does, idk why but I think they are very chill with each other.

But yea. I mean idk how Lambert summons the Goat (who I don't have a name for yet) but. I mean again this was so much funnier in my head but I wanted to make something low pressure which is why this exists now. Enjoy :D

[takethelx3]

They're at a cafe on a rainy day bc.. I want to sit at a cafe w someone and just vibe tgt

[taojjang]

𐙚 riize's favorite thing to do with you

pairing: bf!riize x reader, genre: fluff, warnings: they down bad fr

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♡⸝⸝ times he feels happiest by your side

shotaro . . . shopping with you!

taro truly loves spoiling you— whether with new jewelry or a bunch of kisses, he always has something to give you. he often finds excuses to go spend money with you. for instance, you could mention that you really like chocolate and he'll respond, "let's go for some ice cream!" he just loves giving you everything you want :( and that's why he loves your late-night convenience store runs!

the second you tell shotaro you want a snack, he's already grabbing his car keys and telling you to put on your jacket. when you arrive at the convenience store, taro runs straight towards your favorite snack and tosses two of them into the basket. "is there anything else you're craving, honey?" whatever you look at, he puts it in the basket without even looking at the price. in his mind, the smile that you give him when you're eating snacks together is priceless <3

eunseok . . . lounging with you!

eunseok is a simple man, it really doesn't take much to satisfy him. something about the lazy days he spends with you always makes him feel so comfortable. he loves those saturday nights when he comes home from work and you're welcoming him with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. but he loves sunday mornings even more.

he loves waking up with you resting on his chest, not having to turn off his alarm or push you off to get ready for work. if you hadn't woken up and forced him to freshen up, he'd lie there for hours, falling in and out of sleep with you cuddled against him. after brushing your teeth and eating a quick snack, eunseok would drag you right back to bed so he could lie beside you while you finished your overdue tasks on your laptop. he'd occasionally get up to grab a snack for the both of you, but for the most part, he'd play his silly mobile games while you pat his head with your free hand. simple days like this make him feel so happy to be yours.

sungchan . . . eating with you!

sungchan is always so worried about you. the days when he's too busy at work to come and see you, he's texting you every hour to ask if you've eaten yet. he just wants to know you're taking care of yourself when he isn't there to do it himself :( which is why he's always ordering so much food when he comes to your house.

"thank you, baby... but i don't think i can eat all of this." you mutter looking down at the 6 containers of takeout. "it's fine princess, you can eat the leftovers tomorrow." sungchan melts into a giggly mess once you start eating. he loves how adorable you look when you eat <3 so much to the point where he'd buy you every single one of your cravings just to see those cute chubby cheeks :(

"you're so adorable, princess~ how is it? should i order more?"

wonbin . . . dressing up with you!

whether he's going to a fashion show or the grocery store, wonbin has to look good wherever he goes. it's almost sickening having to wait 40 minutes for him to get all dolled up just to grab toothpaste from the pharmacy. but you've got to admit, it's quite fun helping him pick out his outfits. one thing you should expect from helping him out is having to join him in his fashion frenzy.

wonbin loves matching outfits with you! before you leave the house, he'll go into his closet and find a comfy sweater that matches his outfit. but instead of wearing it, he hands it to you. "baby, try this on." you always love wearing his clothes since they're so stylish and cozy (not to mention they smell like him too). he finds it so adorable when you twirl around in front of the mirror, asking him "is this one okay?"

"you already know what i'm gonna say, baby. you're so beautiful!"

seunghan . . . singing with you!

seunghan is truly a passionate man. even on his days off, you catch him dancing in front of the mirror, working tirelessly to ensure he has the choreo down before he goes to work the next day. but when you catch him singing, it's almost mesmerizing. when you walk by the bathroom and hear him singing in the shower, you can't help but press your ear against the door in hopes of hearing him clearly. his voice is incomparable to anything you've ever heard.

he could say the same about yours. the first time he heard you singing a song he'd been practicing, he stopped dead in his tracks and let nothing take his attention away from you. you never believe him when he tells you you're good at singing (i mean, he's literally THEE hong seunghan), but he won't stop telling you how lovely your voice is. he loves your voice so much that his ideal date is singing his heart out with you in the karaoke room! he loves how adorable you look jumping around and singing your favorite song while he's cheering you on. you could never forget how he looks up at you with so much adoration sparkling in his eyes. he adores you more than anything else in the world.

sohee . . . playing with you!

sometimes you get a bit annoyed by how often sohee plays video games. it's so exhausting watching him spend all of his time at his computer when you just want cuddles :( he typically takes a break after a few rounds to grab a snack, but you're always lying on his bed with those sad eyes and a pout, waiting for any bit of attention from him. "hi pretty girl, you okay?" you shake your head. he stands up to stretch and walks to lie beside you. "let's play together." he can't help but laugh at your sudden mood change when he suggests spending time together.

sohee sits against the headboard and you immediately find a spot to sit between his legs, the back of your head resting on his chest. he hands you a controller and lets you pick a game to play. even if it's a game he doesn't like, he always engages in the gameplay and makes sure you have enough fun to forget how upset you were just a few minutes ago. you always giggle knowing your pout always gets you what you want. you truly are his soft spot <3 the two of you play for hours; screaming and laughing at each other until you grow sleepy. once you tell him you're tired, he'll take the controller from your hand and turn off the tv. he'll pull the blanket over you and hold you closer to his chest.

"let's play again tomorrow, hm?"

anton . . . cuddling with you!

to anton, there's no place that's more comforting than your arms. with every hug, he feels like he's falling deeper and deeper in love with you by the second. he never knew someone could feel so much like home. his hugs are always so passionate; wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hiding his face in your neck, savoring every moment of you. every hug drowns you in such addicting warmth that you can't get enough of him. nothing could ever top this feeling. well, except for cuddles, of course.

after a long day, all you truly need is to be held by your big teddy bear. lying down beside anton, he immediately turns to you and rests his head on your chest. beginning to run your hands through his hair, you tell him how exhausting today was and how badly you missed him. he leaves a soft kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around you, closing the gap between the two of you.

"you're with me now, love. just focus on me."

[epickiya722]

Sometimes, I forget that there are people who find protagonists like Izuku, Tanjiro and Yuji "boring" because "they exhibit typical shonen protagonist traits" and one of them woukd be "They're nice, they're kind, they're all sunshine".

Which, okay, have your tastes, that's fine.

But when it comes to characters who are kind and/or nice, there's layers to them.

Just because a character is nice, doesn't mean they're kind and vice versa.

A character can be the most evil one in that story and still show kindness to some people somehow. A nice character may be the one to do immoral things, Yuji being an example.

The reasons for why a character is nice and/or kind varies, too.

Some are just genuinely born that one. Some may be selective as to who they show those sides, too, because of their own morality. Maybe, a character is being kind or nice to also manipulate others. Some characters may choose to be kind because who will, despite the cruelty of the world?

Also, I feel like, even with people outside of a fandom, they hear or seen a character being nice and kind, they just stop at that and don't think they're capable of being ruthless.

Like, Tanjiro canonically has a pure soul, but multiple times he has shown he is not only a menace in a fight, but he has shown to be one in casual situations. Sometimes, he's not even aware he is because he is so nice.

Izuku, he's a sweetheart, too. But even he will just shut off that "sunshine" to literally tear into you. He has been told in canon to hold back his emotions, the most prominent one being his anger. When he's angry, go apologize!

Yuji, look, let's be real... he is sunshine and rainbows, but that boy is probably the least sweetest one out of these three examples. Hold back? Yuji don't know what that is. No, no, he really don't. I kid you not, this kid doesn't. You can't even use the fight against Junpei as one because he punched Junpei UP into a window. Had Junpei not have that shikigami, he would have gotten major injuries.

My point is!

Just because a character is kind or nice or both, it doesn't mean...

A) it's the only trait they have.

B) they're not capable of not being kind or nice.

I think some see nice and kind and associate it with being "soft" in a derogatory manner.

Which, first off, there's nothing wrong with being soft.

I'll be honest, it will sound silly (go ahead and laugh actually, I encourage it), but if you asked put a character like one of the mentioned protagonists in front of me along with their villain and asked me "who I'm more scared of" I'm pointing at the protagonist.

Listen to me. Don't let that cuteness fool you.

With a villain, I am well aware of that villain being evil and will hurt me no matter what I do.

With someone like Yuji or Tanjiro or Izuku, they look nice, they look kind but it's like you have to be careful to not to trigger them in a way to set them off. You're caught off guard but those sweet faces and then next thing you know, BOOM! You got knocked out.

If anything, as much as people like to clown on these characters, they're only just following the footsteps of the ones before them.

Just like those legends, they started from the bottom and grew stronger over time and even with being a chill person or don't want to do evil, that doesn't exempt them from being not "a sweetheart".

I said it before, but a sunshine character to me is a character who is warm but lethal, like sunlight.

[soemthingsparkly]

guys the thing is we can have mumscott *and* flower ranchers, you know? We can have Mumbo and Scott being in love and we can have Scott and Tango and Jimmy having endless affection for each other.

I have a vision okay? It's a triple date with ex flower husbands, Mumscott, Ranchers, and Scarian and there is so much love between all six of them. We can have both, you know?

I'm slightly drifting into HCC AU territory but that's fine, you can come with me, it's a great place.

Like imagine Scott getting ready for the triple date and being so nervous about it and Mumbo telling him that he looks absolutely beautiful and they arrive at the place and both Tango and Jimmy are chatting and giggling to themselves but then they see Scott who looks so pretty with the glitter on his cheeks and the smudged blue around his eyes and both just stop because holy fuck.

And Scott squeezing Mumbo's hand because these are his boys and he loves them and his chest is so full of love. And he holds hands with Mumbo across the seats, but Tango and Jimmy both capture one of his feet each between their own and it isn't entirely romantic, but it's platonic romance and Mumbo is okay with it because as long as Scott is being loved, he's so happy.

And Scott feels the same way about Mumbo with Grian and Scar and at the end of the night Jimmy and Tango hug Scott without intending to let go, but eventually they do and when Grian agrees to let Mumbo go the two of them walk home together and Mumbo asks Scott if he had a nice time and Scott says he did and he asks the same and Mumbo says yeah, I did.

But they get home and go to bed together and wrap up in each others arms and Scott is so happy that he gets to have both lives. He gets to have those silly goofy boys and he gets to have this silly goofy man who can be just a little bit more shy about letting that side of him out.

And Scott stokes his cheek when they're in bed and tells Mumbo that he's so happy with his life now and Mumbo's brows lift ever so slightly in question and his eyes soften in unexpected relief and he asks if he means it and Scott says yes.

Because he wouldn't exchange his life with Mumbo for anything. He wouldn't exchange it for anything.

[balkanradfem]

Okay, I'm about to step on some toes, but hear me out; I need to do it. Okay? Good.

There's a lot of funny 'Girl what were you doing at devil's sacrament' jokes and memes, and isolated from context, it's very funny, I know it's funny, it's 'telling on yourself haha' because you had to be participating in a 'bad activity' in order to catch someone else who was also there.

However I know the original context, and it's less funny if you do. Why would a woman say she saw another woman at the Devil's Sacrament, incriminating both herself and another woman, who would both then get burned alive? I know why.

I'm going to take you back to my childhood, where I was reading every book I could get my little hands on, and one of these books was called 'Grička Vještica', or 'Grič's Witch'. These were fictional books set in the age of witch burnings, and the main character gets accused of being a witch. Even if the characters are fictional, the historical places, events and laws were real. The main characters ends up locked in a tower with the other accused 'witches', and there she finds women who were horrifically, unspeakably tortured. I won't go into what happened to them, but their limbs were ripped, their bodies shutting down from pain, they were begging for death. What happened to their bodies was described in detail, and to the child me, it was traumatic to hear about it, it created a heavy fear in my heart, that something like that could even happen, to any human being.

The books gave some insight of what was happening during the torture, and the torturers were leading these women to not only confess to their own 'witchraft' under torture, but to incriminate other women. And if they wouldn't, the torture would get worse and worse. And human beings break after a certain point of torture. They'll do and say anything. They had already confessed to being witches under torture, and now they were facing more torture + death by burning, or just to die in fire without further mutilation, if they talk.

Torturers usually already had their minds set on a certain woman they wanted to incriminate; women with medical skills, money, estate, land, women who wronged them, rejected them, who had rejected or angered their friends, whose houses or land they wanted to claim, widows, unmarried women, anyone they wanted to eject from society, whose assets they wanted to harvest. All they needed to do was brutally torture (and often, sexually torture) the women in front of them, until they were willing to say 'Yes, okay, I saw her at the devil's sacrament' and they could have whatever they wanted.

It was done under the worst agony the human being could experience.

So whenever I read one of the memes, that's what I remember, because I know how it happened. For it to be used in feminist jokes... we could find another funny instance to use? What were you doing at the furry convention? Or something like that, that doesn't reference women being tortured. We could reference something silly and non-consequential. I mean, I hope we would want to.

I'm sorry to ruin your jokes! I feel like the women from the past wouldn't love us using that either, and they're not around, so I have to speak up for them.

[for-those-who-wait]

Hey I think I asked you about your Detroit become human au before a bit ago but I love the idea so much! I know you’re super busy but if you can I would love to see more about it!

Sorry for asking about it again I’m just really interested in it. 😭🙏

No please don't be sorry I love to talk about it whenever I'm not creatively bankrupt!! I'm just sorry it took so long for me to actually think of new stuff to add

I had some of these doodles already prepared but never really finished them up until I came up with a cute little idea

I didn't think of where to put in Flapjack until I remembered that android animals existed, and then I had a brain blast moment where I realized that Hunter can still talk to Flapjack! They are little android buddies, they can interface and talk and be friends!! I think it would also help to make him feel a bit more comfortable with his identity as an android to be able to have his little buddy to have fun private conversations with. Camila introduces them (maybe he had gotten hurt by a previous owner and she found him and let Gus fix him up) and Hunter is a bit tentative about it at first, but Flapjack is adorable and sweet and quickly wins him over

I just now had the idea that Gus, since he's super into android stuff, would probably be a big resource for software and hardware difficulties. Oh, you fell and your arm is working kinda wonky? Call up Gus, he'll crack you open and take a look. The dude doesn't mind in the least, he freaking LOVES going down mechanical and coding rabbit holes to better understand how androids work. I like to think that if Hunter ever got hurt and chose not to accept help because of body/species dysphoria, Gus would be a really good resource for him to try and feel as normal as possible while he's getting fixed. Gus is his brother and he loves him and they're just good to each other okay? Gus would probably crack some jokes or something to get Hunter's mind off it, or infodump about android organs or something (and Hunter would be begrudgingly interested because they are nerds, and Hunter is interested in androids too underneath all the problems he has with deviancy. Like dude they're robots, what's not to love?)

Also some Gus being so over Hunter's "androids can't feel love" phase featuring Vee and Masha being very adorable and very obviously in love :) Hunter is a very silly stupid man. He will find any way to make literally everyone exempt from the terrible rules Philip fed him, except for himself

I'm trying to think of a potential situation that would parallel Hunter's possession, and I think it would probably be basically the same thing that happens in Connor's deviant path (when he deviates and joins the revolution as an ally) where Amanda (a separate AI in his programming that's basically how CyberLife keeps him in check) takes over Connor's programming last minute to try and put a stop to the revolution.

So my current thought is that Philip is basically using Hunter as a trojan horse. His main programming is to act and believe like he's a normal human but similar to Connor, he's basically a sleeper agent without knowing. I imagine that once Hunter gains access to his software (thanks to Vee and Gus), he starts finding programs and files that are labeled as pretty scary things. He shouldn't have to know the most efficient way to shut an android down or incapacitate a human.

If and when Philip finally goes looking for Hunter and sees the first android he's seen in Gravesfield besides Hunter (aka Vee), he's not going to take that well.

I haven't drawn anything for it but so far I'm thinking that he takes control of Hunter's programming, maybe through some taking advantage of his interfacing system, and locks him in his own head a la Connor and Amanda to sic him after Vee and Flapjack (assuming that Philip's main goal, similar to both canons, is to eradicate deviants). It's likely that his friends will try to apprehend him, Vee or Gus will try (and maybe fail a couple times) to delete the programming while Camila deals with Philip. The guy is old and decrepit and Camila would absolutely whoop his ass with the ease of swatting a fly.

Things will be fine; Vee is all good and they manage to delete whatever programming screwed with Hunter's control, but that kid is going to be HELLA anxious about interfacing again from then on since he's afraid of 1) losing his own control and 2) potentially passing the virus onto someone else. It could go two ways at that point: Hunter could either kill Flapjack since Flapjack is technically a deviant android and therefore a target, or we can be nice and let Flapjack live to help him heal from this brand-new trauma.

So yeah hopefully that sates some curiosity! I'm glad you're interested in it because I honestly really love to think of new stuff whenever my brain decides to work hahaha

[thescarletnargacuga]

Caine and Pomni having a movie night, with them accidentally choosing a horror movie to watch. Pomni doesn’t really mind and isn’t affected, but for DAYS Caine is bothered and doesn’t want to be alone without Pomni ever. Causing him to constantly sleep in her room, accompany her on adventures, etc. Pomni then has to teach him the beautiful art of the movie not being real, but because he is a visual learner she also has to show him that it’s not real by pointing out how each affect is done.

PRACTICAL EFFECTS

A HALLOWEEN SHOWTIME ONESHOT

WARNING: movie blood and gore

~~~

Caine could barely see through his clenched teeth as he sat shaking next to Pomni. He and Pomni were relaxing with a spooky movie marathon. Just them, a bowl of popcorn, and eight hours of back to back seasonal features. However, one of the TV movies was a bit more gory than Caine could handle.

Pomni was having a great time, eating handfuls of popcorn as the killer on screen violently swung a massive chainsaw. She chuckled at the campy acting and blatantly fake special effects, not noticing Caine was ready to bolt.

When the killer dug his chainsaw into the gut of the underdressed hot girl character, Caine screamed. Pomni jumped for the first time all night, spilling the popcorn. Pomni paused the movie. "Caine?? What the heck!?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN- WE JUST WATCHED SOMEONE DIE, POMNI!!" Caine plucked his eyes from his mouth and rubbed them against his coat. "MY EYES WILL NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN!!"

Pomni blinked, confused. "Caine... It's a movie. I'm not crazy about horror, but these movies are so bad they're actually pretty funny."

"FUNNY? FUNNY????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Caine slammed his eyes back in his mouth so hard, he nearly choked. "I never realized I was dating a psychopath!"

"Woah, woah, woah, Caine, breathe. Calm down a little." She took a few deep breaths, encouraging him to breathe with her. "It's a movie. Fake. Everything that's happening on screen, isn't actually happening."

"...come again?" Caine arched his top jaw, looking from Pomni to the screen. "I know movies have actors and such, but you're telling me that that man is not actually digging a chainsaw into that woman's stomach? But- but- it's so real! I can't even look at it without getting squeamish!"

"Have you ever heard of movie magic? Practical and special visual effects? All of that blood on screen is nothing more than red dye and corn syrup. I mean, some hardcore movies use animal blood, but it's mostly colored corn syrup. That torso getting cut up? Fake. A prop. That chainsaw? Doesn't actually have blades on it except in close-ups."

Caine still couldn't bring himself to look fully at the screen. "I don't like it..."

Pomni put a comforting hand on Caine's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. We can skip this one if it's too bloody. I prefer atmospheric and psychological scares, myself."

Caine snapped, vanishing the spilled popcorn and refilling the bowl. "Thanks, Pomni."

"Of course, Caine. This is supposed to be fun." Pomni scoots closer, until their thighs touch. "Just imagine all those actors covered in sticky syrup. Must have taken them ages to wash it out."

"Heh, yeah..."

"Caine, out of curiosity, what did you think was happening?"

"Oh...uh, seems silly now but... I thought actors were really going through everything on screen. Because they're mass-produced like boy bands."

"....say what?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. We'll talk later." Pomni changed to a different movie and settled her head on Caine's shoulder.

[cakerybakery]

Oh boy, you stepped into a lot of worldbuilding I did for a very silly story.

Okay.

Background information. I wrote "duck gif" and it auto corrected to "fuck god". I took "fuck god" to mean "the god of sex." Like how Zeus is the God of the Sky. I immediately thought of "Lucifer, God of Ducks and Sex." So Lucifer's godly domain would be over the kingdom's holy animal, ducks, and sex. More in a bit about that.

I had to base everything about this world's religion around that premise.

So I made Lucifer, Lilith, and Charlie the Divine Family. A holy trinity.

In the divine family he is the father. Lilith is the mother. And Charlie is the child.

So Lucifer in the story's full title is "Lucifer, the father God of Ducks and Sex".

I made them loosely based around an idea of "role" they would each play in a family.

Lilith being the mother, who would bring life into the world, but also death for not all pregnancy's end in life. Lilith would be the one to help usher in new life and to help those that passed into her shadow, death. Mothers/women would also be part of her domain.

Charlie is the child. I decide that I wanted her to be the one children would ask for protection. And instead of making her a goddess, she would be both a god and a goddess, someone that changes. Which I felt was in tune with the show and the concept of change and being more than just one thing. So I made her a Godling, which felt more gender neutral and also made her feel younger, like a child. The other concept I felt she embodies from the show was forgiveness. So she became the child Godling of Forgiveness and Duality. I also felt it worked because children are still learning and make many mistakes, they would need forgiveness.

So those settled I had to figure out Lucifer.

Why would he be the god of ducks? Well, ducks are connected to Air, Water, and Earth. Another set of three. So I made those those the elements of the world around them as the people would know it. So ducks became a holy animal and a symbolic animal for Lucifer.

Why would he be the god of sex? Well, he's the father in the holy trinity, the Divine Family. A father's first "role" in creating a family would be fertilization. It helps that ducks are like chickens, depending on the species and conditions, they might lay eggs everyday or a few times a season. So they're very sexually active animals.

Part of Lucifer's domain became over fathers/men. He would be the god of the act of fertilization, basically.

Thus, Lucifer, the Father God of Ducks and Sex.

-

I put a lot of a world building into this one and I could have just said it was a funny autocorrect, but dammit, I did a lot of a world building to make that funny autocorrect make sense and wanted to talk about it.

Got an interesting autocorrect and needed to write the story out.

-

In the kingdom of Eden they took their worship of their gods seriously.

They followed the divine family. Lucifer the Father God of ducks and sex. Lilith the Mother Goddess of life and death. And Charlotte/Charlie the Child God/Goddess of forgiveness and duality.

Ducks were the great symbol of the divine family and the kingdom of Eden for they were beings of all of three core elements of the world. They flew through the air, swam and ate from the water, and walked and had their families on the Earth.

King Adam and Queen Eve had tried for many years to produce heirs for their kingdom to no avail.

They knew if Adam had no heir of his own he would be forced to pass the kingdom on to his younger half sister, Emily when he passed.

Adam had no harsh feelings towards her. She was a delightful young woman but he feared her rule would be tarnished by her father, Alastor.

There were no kind feelings for his stepfather the fifth or so prince of a far off kingdom his mother had married after Adam ascended the throne.

He knew Alastor wished to rule Eden by proxy through Emily. Their mother, Sera passed when Emily a mere toddler, and through Adam was only twenty years her senior, she was raised more by him and Eve than by her real father.

Were it not for the possibility of Alastor becoming regent if something were to happen to Adam, they would happy make Emily heir to the throne.

So Adam made a desperate bid to the divine family for an heir to his throne.

He stood before the marble statues of their gods and lay a nest at the feet of their gods. From a basket he placed several eggs gathered from as different breeds of ducks as they could find.

The multicoloured eggs were beautiful. Their hues ranging from white to blue to green to brown and even black.

Adam let one of the royal ducks, the broodiest one in the flock, sit upon the eggs.

Then he could do nothing but pray.

The duck squawked and stood up confused. All of her eggs were gone.

Before Adam the statues turned to him.

The Godling Charlie smiled and stepped from her statue. “Hello Adam. You have come to wish for a child?”

Adam nodded. Although he believed, he never thought the gods would come to him personally.

Lilith stepped through the empty nest on her way down the marble stairs to join Charlie before him. Her ghostly foot didn’t disturb it at all. She frowned. “Death clings to you like a cloak. You must shed the taint of death before you might have a child.”

He looked to the statue of Lucifer. He was inspecting his new duck eggs.

Lucifer looked up only when his wife and child cleared their throats for his attention.

“Hmm? Oh yes. These are very nice. We will grant you your wish for an heir. After you complete three tasks.”

“Journey to the edge of the city where the wall meets the shore.” Charlie spoke. “It is there, where the land, the sea, and the air meet, where people and the wilds touch, that you will seek your father’s forgiveness for his death.”

“Then come to where my temple resides and barter with me.” Lilith the cryptic had no formal temple nor did she say what he would need to barter for or to. Adam would have to figure it out.

“And when you are done. I will find you.” Lucifer was even more unclear than his wife about the task he would need to complete for an heir.

But he did as instructed.

In the morning he set out. Eve kissed both his cheeks and forehead, as was the custom of Eden, and bid him good luck.

The first task was the easiest to complete. Adam rode from the high mountain castle through the winding city on parade. Waving to his people as they went.

Fanfare died down as Adam rode farther and farther to the outskirts of the city. They rode until the beach was under hoof and Adam dismounted.

Leaving his guards, Adam walked along the wall until he made it to the crumbling edge. Where the city met the wild, and the land, sea, and air mixed.

Adam wasn’t sure how to ask his father’s forgiveness. It was his arrow that slayed the man.

They had been hunting. It was much too foggy but they had been on the trail of a buck. A large one too if they read the hoof prints correctly.

In the fog they had become separated and, thinking he saw the buck, Adam shot his bow. The arrow flew true but it had been his father on his horse that Adam saw in the hazy.

In the last twelve years he has begged forgiveness many times.

With the gods’ help perhaps he would finally find it.

Adam fell to his hands and knees. He touched his head to the sand and water’s edge, to the bit of broken wall. “Father in the lands of Lilith’s shadow. I beg of you to forgive me for your death. Truly I did not know it was you.”

The wind whispered over the broken bits of brick stirring sand and sea. A voice from the shadows spoke. His father’s voice.

“I cannot forgive what you did not cause my son. In the shadows I have seen the truth.”

Adam snapped his up. He saw from his father’s eyes the truth in the shadows.

Alastor. A man of magic. His voice controlling the wind and water to turn the forest into fog. Taking the form of the Earth, a beautiful large red stag. The one they hunted that day. He tricked them apart. Calling each in each other’s voices until across a glen they stood, unaware the other was there.

As Adam’s arrow flew toward Alastor he changed back into a man and the arrow soared over his head, striking the king.

There was a commotion by his guards and he saw his men fighting black devils. Creatures from Lilith’s Shadow. Monsters that lived in death. They should not be in the land of Lilith’s body, in life. Devils had no power to cross over without being born just as the living could not move on to the shadows without dying.

Adam ran back to help. As a demon blade nearly came down upon Husk’s head, Adam stopped it with his divine sword. A gift from the Godling Charlie upon his birth.

A rarity to receive such a gift.

The devil was slain as his holy weapon pieced its shadowy body.

Demon by demon, Adam killed the beasts until at last his guards were all safe.

He raised his sword once more. “Come out, magic man.” Adam spat on the ground.

Alastor appeared from the shadows to taunt him but before Alastor could Adam lunged.

Parring with a cane of shadows Alastor knocked the blade from Adam’s hands.

He didn’t expect the metal clad fist though as Adam let the sword go to leave Alastor open to a more physical attack.

Screaming, Alastor covered his face. Blood poured down his broken nose and he tried to fight back with magic.

The guards pelted him with rocks and he couldn’t complete a spell. Giving Adam enough time to grab his sword, say a small prayer for the goddess Lilith to bless his blade, and cleanly cut Alastor’s head from his body.

His shocked face rolled to a stop at Lilith’s feet. “You have found my temple.”

Adam stumbled upon it but understood once Lilith had spoken. “Any point between life and death where you are worshiped becomes your temple.”

Her normally solemn face brightened and she looked more like her husband and child. “And I see you have something which to barter.”

Alastor’s eyes still blinked. His mouth moved but without his voice box he could not speak.

“A soul that had crossed the borders between my lands many times. Just what I have been looking for. In return,” she pulled from the air a small golden egg, “I give you this. Eat it and my husband shall find you.”

Adam took the egg and Lilith picked Alastor’s head up by the hair. “Let’s put you somewhere you can’t cause trouble again.” She vanished with the head and Adam ordered the body burned to ash and scattered to the winds so that even if Alastor’s head figures out how to escape death once more, he will have no body to control.

Once the job was done, Adam went home. He kissed his wife and went to the temple to prepare himself.

Lucifer was the god of ducks and sex. Adam was not sure what would happen or what his task would be.

Taking the tiny grape sized golden egg in hand, he prayed to Lucifer to work, and swallowed the egg whole.

It warmed him on the way down and he felt strange.

“What a lovely job you did.” Lucifer cheered from behind him and Adam jumped in surprise.

Lucifer’s hands touched Adam’s naked body and Lucifer smiled up at him in approval.

“You found the temple which the Godling of duality resides and prayed for forgiveness across from life into death and found truth past the lies. You bartered with the Goddess of life and death at her temple with the life and death of a murder she had been trying to capture for centuries.”

A hand went to Adam’s shoulder and he was guided down to a soft mat on the floor that had not been there before.

“You have brought me a pretty golden duck egg to fertilize with my seed.” Lucifer ran his hands over Adam’s hard chest and they became softer, tender, and swelled a little. They ran down his body and between his legs. Fingers caressing an entrance that had not been there before.

Moving between Adam’s legs Lucifer waited expectantly.

It took only a moment to realize what was needed. “I pray for an heir, oh great Lucifer.”

“Just Lucifer is fine. Especially from the soon to be mother of my child.” Lucifer winked and teased Adam softly with his fingers until Adam was moaned and wet.

It felt amazing when Lucifer’s dick filled him. He knew sex was great for him before, but fuck, this felt great too.

He held on to the god’s shoulders as Lucifer bottomed out inside of him. Adam cried out the god’s name in pleasure as he was fucked.

Lucifer kissed Adam’s swollen teats. His fingers sent electricity up Adam’s spine and his head got bubbly.

Adam spasmed around Lucifer’s cock and moaned.

He felt the small god release inside him and gave a giddy laugh. Adam was going to have his heir.

“Our son shall be born first and ascend your throne. Never again will the kingdom of Eden be threatened for a descendant of the gods will sit forever as ruler.” Lucifer pulled out of him and Adam inside thighs were coated in a mixture of their joining. “Go to your wife tonight and you will give the boy in your womb a half twin. He will be all mortal and beloved by our son. No harm will fall upon your mortal children.”

Lucifer got up but before he left he winked at Adam, “and if you shall desire another child with your wife, pray at my temple. Spread yourself wide and ask me to fill you with my seed. You and your wife will bear your young together.”

He vanished and as he tried to leave on shaky legs, the god’s cum still dripping down his thighs, the Goddess Lilith appeared.

“Emily has her father’s magic but your mother’s heart. Perhaps the kingdom could use their own court magician.” She vanished and Adam continued on to Eve.

Adam told her what happened and she was very pleased. “How wonderful. You will have an heir for the throne and we will have children! Rest dear husband. The God Lucifer must have tired you out. Rest and tonight we shall give our heir a sibling.”

Eve was very pleased indeed.

Over the months as their bellies both grew, as they shared similar aches, pains, and joys, he and Eve grew even closer. While they could not officially adopt Emily, the young girl barely even noticed her father’s death as he had barely been in her life.

Instead she focused on her studies. Not just with the magic tutors Adam had brought in for her, but the divine family took her under their wings as well.

She was quite skilled even by the time Adam’s waters broke and he birthed his first child, Cain.

Within hours of his birth Eve went into labour and had their son Abel.

They boys would be raised like twins, even if they and the kingdom knew who sired Cain.

Even and Adam would have many twins that way.

Lucifer wasn’t the god of ducks and sex for nothing.

[prairleedog]

Wolverine ticklecannons!!!

This silly fucker has my heart omg <3

——————————————————

Lee:

— THE LAUGH. He has the sweetest little laugh like omg if you get a spot like his ribs or sum he will just absolutely go spiralling off into snorts like it.s so cute guys

— takes a lot to actually get him to allow it, you have to be friends / closely acquainted but once he's comfortable enough to actually open up, he doesn't really fight it or anything

— melts into neck + shoulder tkls + sometimes he'll growl through little giggles and it's just. aAJBAKDJSJHDHD

— has a really pretty smile. Like in the gif above like it's js so cute especially when he's laughing <33 + has canines that poke out a little when he smiles which is an added bonus

— swears like an absolute sailor while being tickled on certain spots (i.e: biceps, ribs, really anything upper body wise). He will act like a bitch but honestly he likes it cause it helps him destress

— some of his worst spots are def upper body related esp. around his stomach but he has ticklish knees :3

🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟

Ler:

— THIS MAN. He may be a cute lee but he is an absolutely unforgiving ler

— uses facial hair when blowing raspberries n stuff because it makes the whole thing tickle more

— if you piss him off enough, he'll bring out the claws and lemme tell you they are SO BAD

— an absolute asshole about everything. “ can you grasp the concept of silence? I'm trying to do something. ” while he's absolutely wrecking your shit

( STEALING MY POOKIE @just-a-fluffy-knight 'S HEADCANNON HERE)

— if he's feeling surprisingly playful he'll drop down and chase after you on all fours (which also happens to be incredibly scary)

— THE HOOD OMG when he pulls the hood down you are FUCKED. like absolutely royally fucked. You better dig your grave because he will tickle the absolute snot out of you

— surprisingly good at gentle tickles / cheer-up tickles :3

I'LL BE BACK W ONES FOR WADE SOON <333 BYE FOLKS :D

[sysig]

Wuh oh (Patreon)

Bonus:

The novel experience of being crushed by a giant rock, a visual metaphor

[milolovesbmc]

Everytime you make Christine and Michael hate each other or fight over Jeremy, an angel loses it's wings

[asthecrowrambles]

i need to Kill them

[thelaurenshippen]

genuinely think it's good and healthy to follow at least one person in each of your fandoms who reblogs good gifsets but has just...absolutely dogshit takes on the show, or who ships that ship you despise. keeps things fresh. keeps things grounded. you gotta stay humble

[knightwhoisni]

*drifter seeing the protoframe they'll romance for the first time voice* i think i hauve the infestation

[kurt-accursedd]

🌙☀️