#okay but in all seriousness the project is a script for a tv show

[captainfairygodmother]

Writing is so funny, like haha no I'm not trying to raise the spirits of the dead to build an army so I can storm Parliament, I'm just doing some research into Necromancy for a project, please take me off the watchlists haha

[layce2015]

The Boys (Soldier Boy x Female!Supe!Reader)

Chapter 5: The Last Time To Look On This World Of Lies

Chapter 1/ Previous Chapter / Next chapter

*(y/n)’s POV*

I was sitting on the couch, watching videos on my phone while the TV was going on as background noise, when I came across a familiar video. It was a drug PSA from Ben months before that damned job in Nicaragua and I chuckled at it as I press play, remembering the irony in this PSA. The music began to play as the title A Public Service Announcement appeared then it swiped over to Ben with the American Flag projected on screen behind him.

”Hello, I’m Soldier Boy. Did you know drugs and drug-related crime have become a nationwide problem?” He asked and I scoffed. “All across America, drugs are destroying people’s lives. But you don’t have to be a superhero to fight back because your superpower is just saying no. So, when someone offers you drugs, you tell them Soldier Boy said, Taking drugs is not cool, and anyone who does is a loser.” He continues. “Yeah, he’ll ask where is it and go to the person himself.” I grumbled as the PSA comes to an end. “Remember…Real Heroes Don’t Use Drugs.” Ben ends it then gives that little smirk as the Approved By The Vought Ad Council appeared before the video really ended.

I shake my head with a chuckle and I had to rewind it back to watch it again. A thing I noticed was even though he looked determined and professional, I could tell by his eyes that he was not happy. Course that could be because a few days before he had to do this ad, he and I broke up…I think it was the fifth time we did that. I remember after he did this PSA, I heard through the grapevine how he acted up on set.

Flashback

*3rd Person POV*

Ben sits on a stool in front of a blue screen as he gets ready to film this dumbass Anti-Drug commercial. He honestly didn’t want to be there but the Vought company made him, so he sucked it up and, reluctantly, showed up to the set.

“Hello, I’m Soldier Boy…” Ben said then he lowers his head down, annoyed. “Fuck…the world knows who I am, why do I have to say it?!” He asked, angrily, as he looks up at the crew.

After having a talk with him, Ben continues. “But the cool thing to do is just say no.” Ben recites before he sighs. “God, I sound like a jackass. Who approved this script?” He asked. “Stan Edgar.” The director replied and Ben sighs and runs his hand over his eyes. “Get him on the phone, I’m not saying this shit.” He demanded.

Later, a crew member hands Ben a cup of coffee. “Finally.” He grumbles as he accepts the coffee, looks at it and sniffs it. “Is this hot?” He asked then he throws the cup down on the floor. “Iced!” Ben shouts, angrily. 

Minutes later, they try to calm him down and he goes back to being calm but it just angered him again. “Fucking unprofessional!” He yells then he takes in a deep breath then looks to the camera men. “Let’s go to the top.” He said, calmer now.

”If taking drugs is uncool I’m the most uncool motherfucker on the planet.” Ben laughs and points towards one of the crewmen then stops laughing before saying. “Fuck you!”

Later, he pulls out his flask and starts to open it. “Actually, we’re going to need to go one more time.” The director said. “No, we’re not.” Ben said as he opens his flask and begins to drink from it. “We really just need one more take.” The director pleads. “No, that’s a wrap.” Ben said as he closes his flask, gives a tight smile and nods. “Okay? Great!” He said as he walks off the set.

Meanwhile, Mystic Shade was doing a photo shoot for a perfume that was inspired by her. She had to pose with the perfume bottle many times and she was getting annoyed cause it was taking too long and it seemed the photographer kept wanting to take the same photos over and over.

”Seriously, how many pictures do you need?” She asked, irritated. “Just a few more.” The photographer said and Mystic Shade growls under breath. “This is so stupid.” She grumbles then sighs and she starts to get ready for another pose but with less enthusiasm. She looked like she had a gun to her head.

”Can you show more enthusiasm? People won’t buy this if you don’t look ecstatic about it.” The photographer said and Mystic snaps. “Well, we should’ve been done with this hours ago! It’s not my fault you’re a shitty photographer!” She yells, angrily, and the photographer gasps as one of the assistants goes to Mystic. “Okay, how about we take a break?” She said and Mystic rolls her eyes.

”No, we’re done! I need to get the hell outta here!” Mystic shouts and she starts to walk away. Then the cordless brick-like phone, the assistant had, began to ring and she answers it. “Yes, this is Maddie…” she sighed then she looks towards Mystic Shade.

”Okay…” she said into her phone then she runs over to the Supe. “Mystic, phone for you.” She said and Mystic turns to her. “Who is it?” She asked, annoyed. “Stan Edgar.” The assistant said and Mystic sighs at this and takes the phone.

”What?!” Mystic asked, angrily. “I don’t know what has gotten between you and Soldier Boy but you need to get it resolved.” Stan’s voice replied and she scoffs. “Why the hell do you care?” She asked. “He’s been causing a scene at his shoot…” Stan replied. “That’s just normal for him. Look, I don’t want to talk to that asshole right now! So kiss my ass!” She shouts and she hangs up and tosses the phone over her shoulder.

The assistant’s quick reflexes catches the phone as Mystic Shade stomps out of the building.

A Few Days Later

*(y/n)’s POV*

I was making my way back to my room, couldn’t wait to get into bed, when I noticed something on my door. I walk up to it and saw that it was a note with a familiar handwriting. “Huh?” I muttered as I grab the note and read it.

Meet Me In My Room

Ben

I was feeling a mixture of emotions, part of me was annoyed as I was still angry with him but a part of me was curious on what he had up his sleeve. I huffed out a breath then made my way to Ben’s room.

Once there, I knocked on it then I hear his voice say. “It’s open.” I turn the knob and open it to see Ben standing by this small round table with two plates of what looked like spaghetti and a lite candle in the middle. Ben was wearing black dress pants, black shoes and a white dress shirt, looking like a damn male model.

”Uh, what the hell is going on?” I asked him as I enter his room and shut the door behind me. “Well, we’ve been stressed lately and I thought a nice dinner will do us some good.” He replied as I fold my arms across my chest with a raised eyebrow. “Look, I’m sure we’re gonna be paired up for missions soon. So, we should go ahead and clear the air.” He said to me and I sighed as I unfold my arms.

”Since when do you know how to cook?” I asked him and he smirks. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, sweetheart.” He said and I scoff out a laugh. “Ben, I’ve known you for years and I’ve never seen you cook.” I said and he sighs. “Fine, I did a take out order but…I remembered you liked Italian.” He said and I give a small smile. “Yeah, I do.” I said as I go over to the table and he holds a seat out for me.

I sit down and he pushes the chair close to the table then takes the seat across from me. Then we began to eat and did some small talk about the past few days.

Later, the two of us stand out in Ben’s balcony with a drink in our hands, looking out at the view of the city. “You know, I’ve been thinking…” Ben said and I smirk. “That’s a dangerous thing.” I said and he scoffs. “I was thinking about that day we met. How you used to be.” Ben said and now it was my turn to scoff. Thinking back on how I use to be, I barely recognize that girl anymore.

”What happened to that girl?” Ben asked me and I chuckled a little. “Well, they do say bad boys make good girls worse.” I jabbed at him and he turns to me. “Oh, so it’s my fault you turned out this way?” He asked me as I turn to face him. 

“Yes, you are. Before I met you, I had the patience of turtle. Now every little thing and everyone gets on my nerves!” I announced and Ben scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Oh yeah, because you were so better off before, being a submissive little sheep. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be married to that jackass that practically sold you into this life!” Ben roared.

“I could’ve gotten out of that marriage all on my own. I didn’t need you to save me!” I growled and Ben clicks his tongue. “Sure, you didn’t.” He said, with that stupid smug smile of his that always had such a chokehold on my heart.

“Well, then let’s talk about you.” I said. “What about me?” Ben asked. “If it weren’t for me, you’d either be dead or imprisoned with how reckless you are!” I replied and Ben let’s out a mocking laugh. “Oh, that’s good. You should tell everyone that at the next Vought party.” He said, pointing at me as he continues laughing in my face like an immature child.

“I’m the best thing that could’ve happened to you and you’re too stupid to realize it!” I shouted at him and Ben stops his laughter to glare at me. “Are you kidding me? You are the worse thing to ever happen to me! Before you came here, I was a happy man!” He shouted back.

“Is that so?” I asked, feeling a little hurt by this statement but my anger in this moment clouded that. “Hell yes! I’m…” He said, his face scrunching up as he chokes the air in an angry gesture. “How do you think it feels to be attracted to someone that makes you sick?!” He growled.

“I could write a book on the subject and still have enough content to write a sequel.” I retorted. “You are the nuttiest, the stupidest, phonies bimbo I have ever met!” Ben sneered and I felt my anger rising to the point I felt like I’m surrounded by lava. 

“You, Benjamin, are the most arrogant, self-centered, selfish, son of…!” I hissed, taking a step closer to him. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Ben shouted, pointing at me. “Shut your big fat fucking mouth.” He growled. “Make me.” I demanded. 

“Make you? I’m gonna throw you off this fucking building!” Ben said, through gritted teeth. “Try it and you’ll be walking funny tomorrow. Or should I say funnier?” I replied and Ben closes his eyes and twisted his head a little as he breathes in deeply.

“You disgust me.” I sneered and Ben opens his eyes to glare at me. “You drive me fucking crazy. I hate you.” I growled. “Is that so?” Ben asked, taking a step closer to me, our faces now just inches from each other. 

“Well, you drive me insane.” He said and we stare at each other for a moment, the tension between us was rising to that familiar place that I didn’t want it to go but at the same time, I didn’t want to fight it either. 

“How the hell do you do it?” I asked him, knowing I’m in for a wild ride. “Do what, princess?” He asked me, in a low gruff voice. “Always pulling me back to you…” I asked and he chuckles, lowly, as he leans into me. 

“That is my secret power….that only works on you.” Ben said before he leans into me and we share a passionate kiss. I immediately wrap my arms around his neck and he wraps his arms around my waist as we continue to kiss, roughly. Ben pushes me up against the wall of the building and I unbutton his shirt while he goes to unbutton my pants.

We break the kiss for a moment, panting against each other’s lips, before he kneels down and pulls down my pants and my underwear to my ankles. I kick them aside as Ben goes to kiss both of my thighs before leaving some bite marks on them.

“Fuck, Ben!” I gasped as he leaves a trail of love bites and kisses on both of my thighs then he gets to my pussy and, immediately, starts to eat me out like a starving man. “FUCK!” I screamed as he tongue fucks me. Then he wraps his lips around my most sensitive spot and sucks on it, making me scream louder and my hand grabs his hair and tugs on it.

He lets out a low groan, which sends a pleasurable surge through my body, before he inserts two of his fingers in me and thrusts them in and out. I lean my head back against the wall, close my eyes and let out moan after moan as he continues his assault for some time. Then I feel the familiar sensation rising and rising in my lower abdomen.

”Ben, I’m-I’m g-gonna…” I started to announce then he pulls his lips away but kept thrusting his fingers in me. “Go on, princess, let go. Cum for me.” He growls and at his command I do as he says and I scream out in pleasure and ecstasy. He buries his face back into me and lapped up everything I had to give.

Once my orgasm subsided, Ben stands up to me as I open my eyes, slowly, and catch my breath. He smirks at me then leans into me and gives me a fiery kiss, I could taste myself on his lips, before he pulls away from my lips. I look down at him and see that his dick was already half hard, so I reach down, grab him and start to stroke him.

Ben closes his eyes and lets out some grunts and groans before he leans in and kisses me again. We make-out for a few more moments as I keep jerking him off. I then go to kneel down in front of him, so that I could taste him but he stops me and I look up at him.

”As much as I would love to fuck that beautiful mouth of yours, I need you right fucking now.” Ben growls and I felt excitement in my chest as he grabs my hips and I jump and wrap my legs around his waist. Then he carries me back into his room as we continued to kiss again and spent all night having crazy make-up sex.

Present Day

“Tragically relapsed into an opioid addiction, just as he was slated to join The Seven. Not since Len Bias has a public figure been lost to a drսg оvеrdоsе on the cusp of the next...”  the new woman said before I look over at the TV to see that Supersonic had died. I shake my head in disbelief at this. “Well, shit, he looked like one of the good ones.” I muttered as I turn my tv off. SuperSonic looked like a pretty decent kid but something about this death seems really off, especially since he recently was just brought into the Seven.

I go over to my desk and pull open a drawer, revealing a case that I hold my knives in. I take them and start to walk out in my backyard where there is a small shed. I open up the shed to see my hold training dummies inside and I raised a hand, making the dummies float. 

Later, I had the dummies set up around me, like a group of criminals would swarm me and try to corner me. I take in a deep breath and open the case and make the knives float up in the air.

I drop the case on the ground then begin to concentrate and wave my hand around to make the knives zoom around and slice and stab the dummies, repeatedly. Then one of the dummies raise their arms and hold a BB gun and fires at me but I use my shield powers and protect myself from the BB’s. 

I do this for awhile until I hear my phone go off in my pocket. I pick up the case and hold it out as I use my power to put them back and I answer my phone with my free hand. “Hello?” I answered. “Hey, (y/n)!” Amelia said. Amelia is Bethany’s and Steven’s young adult daughter. “Oh, hey, Amelia. What’s up?” I asked her. “Well, I’m just making sure we are still good with going into the city tomorrow?” She asked me.

”Oh, yeah, yeah…we’re still good.” I said. “Great!” She exclaimed, excitedly. “Although I’m still wondering how you talked me into doing a medi-pedi.” I grumbled. “Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun!” Amelia said and I rolled my eyes. “If you say so.” I said. “Okay, well, once we get the medi-pedi done, we’ll do whatever you want.” She said and I chuckle. “Funny, I use to say the same thing to you when you were a kid.” I said and I hear her laugh.

”Learn from the best!” She said and I rolled my eyes. “Uh-huh, sure.” I grumbled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

”See ya!” She said before she hangs up and I put my phone away. 

Later, I was in the bathroom, splashing water over my face, before I look at myself in the mirror. Normal people when they see me, they would see a young supermodel looking woman but I could see that old woman behind these eyes and how tired she is.

I sighed then look through the drawers at the counter until I came across an old pregnancy test. I stared at it as my heart beat hard against my throat and I reach over to it and pull it out from the drawer. I hold up the test and see that it showed positive and I stare at it, my heart dropping into the pit of my stomach.

”Why do I even have this?” I muttered to myself as I toss the test into the little trash can by the sink. I wash my hands then walk out and start on cleaning up my house.

*3rd Person POV*

Meanwhile, at his office, Butcher sits at his desk, drinking and looking over the flies as he can’t believe what he and the others had witnessed. After all these years, Soldier Boy was alive.

After they had rushed to the airport, they flew back to America and M.M. and Frenchie took Kimiko to the hospital while Hughie went home to break the bad news to Starlight. Butcher sulked in his office and gave a call to Maeve.

He sits at his desk and sniffs as he takes another drink when Maeve comes in. “How the fսck is Soldier Boy still alive?” She asked, angrily. “Another nutter loose in the world, thanks to us.” Butcher remarks and Maeve gets a good look at his disheveled look. “You look like warmed-over shit.” She said.

”Well...least I'll be sober in the morning. You'll still be a Supe.” Butcher said. “Well, if Supes are so fսcking vile, why do you want to be one again? What are you gonna do with those?” Maeve asked him as she digs in her bag and tosses him a pouch filled with Temp V. 

Butcher doesn’t reply and Maeve sighs then places her hands on her hips. “I need to let (y/n) know.” Maeve said. “About what?” Butcher asked her. “About Soldier Boy being alive! They were a couple and she still cares about him! She has every right to know.” Maeve said. “He went loose at Russia…more than likely, he’s been captured again. Ain’t our problem, love.” Butcher said as he begins to pour a glass for her and offers her it. 

“No, thanks. I've been sober four months, asshоlе.” Maeve said. “It's been a year for me.” Butcher points out and Maeve stares at the glass and sighs as she takes it.

The next morning, out in the streets of New York and in dirty clothes that he was able to find, Ben looks around the streets and sees a billboard that advertised this new superhero team, The Seven. Their leader, Homelander, was the prominent face that Ben could see from the advertisement. He sneers at the poster and begins to walk down the streets and takes in the environment around him.

Everything looked so different yet also familiar. People walk past him including two men that had their arms around each other and one of them kissed the side of his partner’s head as they walk past him. Ben looks at them then shrugs and rolls his eyes a little as he continues on down the street until he looks across the street and noticed a familiar face.

Her hair was much shorter than the last time he saw her and she was wearing civilian clothes, jeans, a white t-shirt, boots and a dark green over shirt. But he knew her face all too well. Every time he was experimented on or he’d be put in a gas induced sleep, he always saw (y/n)’s face to help him get through the hell he was going through. She gave him hope that one day she’d come and save him, it was the only thing that kept him sane.

Seeing her right now gave him a small smile and his heart did a flip up to his throat. After all this time, besides her haircut, she still hasn’t changed at all. She still looks just as beautiful as the day he lost her. It’s like time for him and her froze and the world around them kept on moving forward without them. 

He watch her as he kept pace with her and her friend as they talk.

*(y/n)’s POV*

“See? Was that so bad?” Amelia asked me as we walk down the street. I look down at my manicured nails and smiled at them. “I will admit they look nice.” I said. “I’m just surprised you’ve never done something like this before.” Amelia said and I shrug. “Never had a reason to.” I remarked. “What you and your mom never went and did stuff like this?” Amelia asked me.

“No, when I was around your age, we were coming off the Great Depression and then we had the war.” I said. “That sucks. Guess that means the life you had before you became a Supe was completely different.” Amelia questions and I chuckled. “You have no idea.” I said and we pass by a woman pushing a baby carriage. I watch her and look down to see the sleeping form of the baby and I couldn’t help but smile at how cute the baby looked.

”Oh, man, I can’t wait to have kids of my own.” Amelia goes on and I turn to her. “Really? I figured you’d want to go out and party with friends.” I said and she shrugs. “Going out and gettin super drunk isn’t really my style. But…something about being a mom just sounds appealing to me.” Amelia said and I chuckle. “I do wonder…how come you never had a kid?” Amelia asked me and I feel a wave a sadness overcome me.

”I, uh…well, that’s…that’s complicated…” I said and Amelia stares at me then nods. “Okay…” she said and we continue on down the street until I felt a weird sensation overcoming me. That feeling you get when you feel like you’re being watched.

I look around and just saw a few people passing by me but then I look across the street. Everyone looked normal, except for this homeless looking man. His hair was long and stringy, like he hadn’t washed it in a long time, and his beard was long and bushy and his clothes were dirty and bit baggy. And he was looking at me but the crazier thing was, he looked vaguely familiar.

The way he walked and the way he stared at me was familiar. I stopped in my tracks as Amelia kept walking and the man stops once I did. I look at him and raise an eyebrow, he stands there and continues to look at me almost like he was debating on whether to walk up to me or not. I take a step or two closer, as if that will help, and the way he furrowed his brow and tilt his head made me gasp.

”Ben?” I whispered then I felt a hand on my arm and I jump and turn to see it was Amelia. “Hey! I was talking to you!” She said and she noticed my surprised look. “I-I-I’m sorry, I just…” I stammered and she gives me a concerned look. “What’s wrong? You look like you seen a ghost.” She said and I turn my head across the street but the man was gone.

”I thought I saw…” I said then I shake my head. “Probably going insane.” I said as I turn to Amelia then I start to walk down the street. “Wait, who did you think you saw?” She asked me as she walks up to me. “I thought I saw Ben…” I said.

*3rd Person POV*

Ben had walked off the moment (y/n) turned away from him. Every part of him screamed for him to go to her, embrace her, hold her and kiss her but the way he looked now, she’d think he was some crazy homeless guy. So he decided he needs to go find an old pal, The Legend, and hope that he had his stuff then he’ll go to (y/n).

He walks down the streets for a few more moments until he heard music. Furrowing his brow, he walks closer and sees a shop with a little radio at the doorway. The music was sung in Russian and Ben paused at this then a flood of memories of his time in that damn lab popped in his head as the music continued.

He drops his bag and doubles over as he groans. “Hey, buddy? You okay, buddy?” A civilian came up and asked him as Ben felt this uncontrollable power burst out of him and caused an explosion.

*(y/n)’s POV*

Amelia and I were able to get into a cab and drive off towards Bethany’s house. About ten or fifteen minutes later, Amelia’s phone goes off and she goes to answer it. “It’s mom.” She said and she answers it. “Hey, Mom!” She greets then her smile disappears, her brow furrowed. “Yeah, we’re fine, we’re in a cab and on our way home. What’s wrong?” She asked and now it was my turn to furrow my brow.

Amelia’s eyes widen then she looks at me, fear etched all over her face. “Okay, well, we should be back at the house soon. Okay, love you! Bye.” She said and she hangs up. “What is it?” I asked as she looks down at her phone then she looks over at me. 

“Mom said that there was an explosion that happened in Manhattan. Nineteen people were killed.” She said, grimly, and my jaw drops at this.

*3rd Person POV*

After seeing the explosion Soldier Boy caused, M.M. suggested to Butcher and Hughie to go the The Legend and see if Soldier Boy has gone to talk to him or if he knows of his whereabouts since Legend owes M.M. a favor.

M.M. knocks on the door of the apartment door when a voice calls out. "Just leave it." M.M. gives a confused look to Butcher and Hughie before he asks. "What?"

"Leave the damn clams casino at the door." The voice said. "This ain't Grubhub, mοthеrfսckеr. Open up." M.M. said and the door opens and Legend appears at the door and smiles once he sees M.M. "Marvin." He greets before he laughs and shakes hands then he notices Butcher. "Hey. I see you still got this piece of dog shit stuck to your boot." Legend said as he gestures to Butcher.

"Oh, go do one, you withered old cսոt." Butcher grumbles and Legend blows smoke at him from his cigarette and Butcher smirks while M.M. gestures to Hughie. "This is Hughie." M.M. introduced then he turns to Hughie. "Hughie, you know who this is?" He asked the young man as he points at Legend. Hughie gives a confused look and shakes his head, slightly.

"He doesn't know who I am?" Legend said, upset and offended. "Read a fսcking book, kid." He said to Hughie before M.M. explains. "This...this is The Legend." M.M. said and Legend gives a small bow. "That's, uh, quite a nickname." Hughie said. "No, it's not a name. It's a level." Legend corrects.

"Legend, we need to talk." M.M. said then Legend gestures to Butcher. "Not him." He said and Butcher rolls his eyes. "He'll behave. You got my word. This is important, and you owe me." M.M. said as Legend looks Butcher over then back at M.M. then he grumbles, quietly, before letting everyone in.

Hughie looks around the large room which was covered in pictures of Legend with various supes and celebrities. "Whoa. Is that you and Roy Scheider?" Hughie asked Legend as he points at a picture. "That's at the Chateau after the Marathon Man premiere. Roy Scheider, Dustin, Anjelica, Big Chief Apache. That whole night's a little cloudy to me. But if you ask Army Archerd, I was balls deep in Golden Geisha, and Marlon Brando was apparently balls deep in me." Legend said as he sits down and smokes his cigarette. M.M. gives him a look that catches Legend's attention.

"What? That's gay now? Fսck you. Who cares? What's the difference?" Legend said as he picks up his tray that had lines of coke. "Anyway, after that, I got Marlon to cut his quote on that Steel Knight picture, so I ask you, who fսckеd who?" He asked then he sniffs up the coke. "He was here, wasn't he?" M.M. asked as Legend holds out the tray of coke to Hughie. "Oh, no, I'm-I'm good. I'm-I'm full. Of cоcɑіnе." Hughie said, holding a hand up. "All right." Legend said as he sets the tray down.

"See, now Vought is all demo points and audience testing, thanks to those backstabbing fսcks Edgar and Stillwell. And yes, I know she's dead, fսck her anyway." Legend rants and M.M. turns to Hughie. "So, The Legend was the VP of Hero Management over at Vought before Stillwell came in. He helps us out from time to time." M.M. explains to Hughie while Legend looks at him, confused.

"He really doesn't know who I am?" Legend asked M.M., who shrugs, then he turns to Hughie. "See, when I was in charge, you go with your gut. That's when heroes were heroes, not these stage-managed silicone dolls. I've never even seen Homelander sweat, let alone butter churn half the cast of Falcon Crest at the Beverly Hills Hotel, which I did. Two words. Shannon Tweed." He said and Hughie gives him a look of disgust.

"Legend. Soldier Boy came to see you. I need to know what he said." M.M. said. "What are you, crazy? Marvin, he's a fսcking doornail." Legend said. "So who's that coke for?" Butcher asked as he gestures to the second tray that had some powder of coke left. "That's just me. I'm writing my memoir. It's gonna be really dynamite. So I'm, you know, I'm burning the candle at both ends. I swear. I swear on my kids' lives." Legend said, raising a hand. "You hate your fսcking kids." Butcher points out. "So would you if you met them." Legend grumbles.

"So, if I ran the prints on that mirror, who would I come up with? Huh." M.M. asked and Legend fidgets a bit at this. "Don't worry. Soldier Boy's not gonna trace this back to you. Trust me." M.M. said and Legend scoffs. "Oh, trust you. Like I trusted him? You forget what happened last time I helped? The underage hοοker sting on Electroshock? You can't trust a man like that. Everything and everyone he touches turns to shit." Legend said as he gestures to Butcher, who then stands up, and Legend pulls off his fake leg, showing Hughie what were the consequences.

"Well, you can trust me to bash your fսcking brains out with that leg, mate." Butcher growls. "Butcher, please." M.M. pleads as Legend puts his leg back on and glares at Butcher. "Look, I'm the one you trust. Now, you know what Soldier Boy did to my family. And you know because you okayed the cover-up." M.M. said. "Shit, I...I okayed a million cover-ups." Legend said. "And they're all tearing you up. So just make this one right, will you?" M.M. asked as he and Legend stare at each other then Legend exhales, like he was letting go the heavy weight on his shoulder.

"I thought I was staring at a ghost, but it was him. He had a fucked-up beard, maybe, but he hadn't aged a day." Legend said. "Wait, so he doesn't get old? Like Stormfront?" Hughie asked and Legend nods. "We kept that under wraps; same goes for Mystic Shade, she doesn't age either. Though it got a little fishy when he starred in that Love and War picture with Phoebe Cates. He was 63. She was 19." Legend said then he remembered something. "Oh, fսck. Remember Entrapment? Connery banged Zeta-Jones. He was, like, a thousand."

"Why was Soldier Boy here?" M.M. said, getting a bit annoyed. "Came to pick up his super suit. I held on to it. You know me. I'm sentimental. Although I did actually wear the suit once for Kelly LeBrock." Legend said then he turns to Hughie. "By the way, her, too." He added and Hughie furrows his brow. "You don't know Kelly LeBrock? Fսcking google it. Big L. Big B. The other letters, small." Legend said.

"So, did he tell you where he was going next? Or that he was gonna blow up a fսcking restaurant on 59th?" M.M. asked him. "Who the hell knows why talent does what they do? That's why they're talent." Legend said, defensively, then he sighs as the others glare at him.

"He also came for his girlfriend's address. He's headed there." Legend said. "Mystic Shade? Why?" Butcher asked and Legend shakes his head. "Wait, Mystic Shade and Soldier Boy? I thought he was with Crimson Countess?" Hughie said, confused.

"See, back then Soldier Boy and Mystic Shade were, as the kids say, the IT couple. But they would constantly break up and get back together. At one point, they broke up and Crimson Countess came along and she and Soldier Boy became the new couple." Legend explained. "Oh, God." Hughie mutters. "You're telling me, kid. Then they broke up after a few months because Soldier Boy wanted Mystic Shade back and they got together. Bit of a scandal back then." Legend said.

"Why they break up and get back together so often?" Hughie asked and Legend shrugs. "Who the fuck knows? More than likely, those two couldn't keep their hands off of each other. I remember once he told me how good of a fuck Mystic was, said it was the best sex he's ever had." Legend said and Hughie furrows his brow then shakes his head.

"Okay, but why is he going after Mystic Shade?" M.M. asked. "He seemed concerned for her, from the way he acted. Plus she has his shield. And I also gave him Crimson Countess' address, from the way it sounded and that wasn't gonna be a happy reunion, but I don't know. Maybe you can go there and find out. But mostly, get the fսck out of here." Legend tells the trio and they all share a look before they get up and leave.

“Frenchie's not answering. Kimiko's out of commission. Soldier Boy's already got a head start. We gonna need some backup.” M.M. said as he, Butcher and Hughie walk down an alleyway towards Butcher’s car and he opens the trunk.

“And here it is.” Butcher said a she leans in and unzips the bag inside, revealing some more doses of Temp V. “I thought you were out.” M.M. grumbles while Hughie’s eyes widen in surprise. “Nipped into the Duane Reade, got some more, didn't I? Look, I know how you feel about this shite, but it's Soldier Boy. So why don't you come down off your high horse just this once, eh?” Butcher asked him as M.M. glares at the Temp V then towards Butcher.

”My dad wouldn't want it.” M.M. said. “Your dad, who died of a dodgy ticker, suing Vought and never getting nowhere?” Butcher asked him, annoyed. “Yeah. Him. You know, he also said, if you don't draw the line somewhere, how the hell are you gonna know where you stand?” M.M. said. “They ain't drawing no line.” Butcher growls. “Which is why we got to.” M.M. said, firmly.

”I'm in. Give me some.” Hughie said and M.M. stared at him, confused. “Kid, didn't you just hear a damn word I said?” He asked him. “I mean, who do you guys want? Do you guys w-want gawky, weak, freaking-the-fuck-out Hughie or do you want strong, confident, handling-his-shit Hughie? With it, I can actually help. Without it, I'm...I-I'm probably dead.” Hughie explains and Butcher stares at him then looks down at the doses but M.M. glares between the two.

”Lad can think for himself.” Butcher said as he pulls out a couple of doses and Hughie smiles and chuckles, softly.

*(y/n)’s POV*

I pulled up to my home, parked the car and let out a heavy sigh. After getting to Bethany’s house, she showed me and Amelia the news about that explosion and it was just unbelievable. The video they showed was of a man bending over, like he was in pain, and a gentleman came up to him then seconds later the first man stands up and a light had bursts out of him and the video ends as that’s when the explosion happened.

The news played it again and I tried to looks closer at the man that cause the explosion because the clothes he was wearing looked very similar to the clothes on the creepy man that stared at me from across the street. The one I could’ve sworn looked like Ben but Ben wouldn’t do something like this. Yes, he was an asshole and caused some damages but it was never intentional. And of course the main fact is he’s dead.

I sighed as I look down at my lap then shake my head before I raise my head up and freeze. My front door was slightly ajar and I know I had shut it and locked it when I left. “The fuck.” I muttered as I get out of my car, shut the door and cautiously walk towards my house.

I get up to the front door and poked at it with my finger tips, the door squeaks as it opens a little. I walk slowly inside then look around to see nothing broken nor anything looked out of place. I walk towards the living room and start to check the area in case if anything was out of place.

But before I could get a good look around, I felt someone grab me. Instincts kicked in as I elbow the person behind me in the stomach and I hear a small grunt, which sounded like a man. I tried to elbow them again but he places an arm around me to hold my arms against my side and places his other hand over my mouth.

”Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there, princess.” A male voice said and I freeze at this. No, it can’t be. I thought but I recognized that voice, it’s a voice I hadn’t heard in almost 40 years and nobody else calls me that pet name except…him.

Once I stopped struggling, the man removed their arms off of me and the hand off of my mouth and I take in a few deep breathes, my heart racing, then I turn around, slowly. I gasp as I see that the man behind me was Ben. His hair was a bit longer than that day when he was killed, his beard had grown just a bit and he was in superhero suit. But other than that, he hadn’t aged a day.

He gives me that smile that always made my heart sing and my jaw drops a little. “N-No, n-no way. You’re…you’re dead!” I gasped as I take a step back away from him. “Guess again, sweetheart.” He replied and I shake my head. “I-I-I don’t understand…” I stammered then he grabs my shoulders and gives me a stern and hard glare. “I need to know something…” he said in a low growl and I look at him, confused. “Did you know?” He asked me. “Know what?” I asked, confused. “About giving me to the Russians.” He said.

”What? Ben, Crimson told me that the Russians killed you once I came back to consciousness.” I said, confused, and he raised an eyebrow at this. “So, you didn’t know that they sold me to the Reds, where I was experimenting on, where they tortured me?!” Ben growls, getting angry. “Jesus, no! I promise you, Ben, I had no idea!” I exclaimed and he continued to look at me, as if to detect if I was lying.

”Ben…” I said, softly, and I placed my hand up on his cheek, the hard glare on his face begins to soften. “I know we’ve said some things to each other, things we’re not proud of but I promise you, I would never sink that low into selling you to the Russians!” I said, firmly, and he continues to stare at me. “All those years…that they burned me and they pumped me full of poison, I held onto the hope that you would come. That you would save me.” He said, his voice shaking with emotion, and it was breaking my heart as I’ve never seen him this vulnerable before.

Sure, he always showed a tender, softer side of him to me but this felt different.

”And you know, damn well, that I would’ve come, Ben. If I had known, I would’ve stopped at nothing to save you.” I said, my eyes welling up. “But I thought you were dead. I mourned you. I’ve been kept up for many nights, hating myself and feeling like I should’ve done more that day.” I whispered, tearfully. He looks at me and it seems he’s starting to believe me then he moves his hands off of my shoulder then cups my face in his hands.

We stare at each other for a moment before he leans in and captures my lips in his. I immediately respond back and we kissed, passionately, as I place my arms around his neck then run my fingers through his hair. The feeling of his soft lips against mine was a feeling I had desperately missed, the coarse hairs from his beard was a new sensation but a welcome one.

We break the kiss to catch our breath and we stare at each other. “I missed you so much.” I whispered to him. “I missed you too.” He mutters and he leans in to kiss me again and this was much slower, like he was taking his time. I return the kiss and get lost in the moment as we kiss for a few more moments, making up for lost times, then I run my tongue across his bottom lip and tug on his hair and that’s when he pulls away.

I furrow my brow at this as we break the kiss and he looks me over. “As much as I want this to continue, and believe me I really want to, I can’t. At least, not right now.” Ben said and I stare at him, confused. “W-What do you mean?” I asked him. “I need my shield and I was told you had it.” He said and I scoff at this.

”Oh, I get it. You came here for your shield and not me.” I teased and he cracks a smirk. “Coming for the shield was a bonus.” He said. “Nice save.” I chuckled before I sigh. “Okay, follow me.” I said and I lead him to my room. Then I point to his shield that was mounted on my wall.

He goes up to it and takes it down. “You’ve been taking good care of it, I see.” He said and I smile. “Well, of course! I felt that your ghost would’ve kick my ass if I didn’t.” I said and he chuckles at this. “But..why do you need it?” I asked him and he looks down and sighs. “I’m going after them. Crimson, the Twins, Noir…all of them.” Ben said and my eyes widen. “They gave me to the Reds and I need to find out why.”

”Okay, well, I’m coming with you.” I said then he turns to me and shakes his head. “No! I need you to stay here.” He tells me, sternly, and I glare at him and place my hands on my hips. “Seriously, Ben?! You know I can handle myself!” I said, getting annoyed and angry, then Ben comes up to me and places a hand on my shoulder.

”Sweetheart, I don’t need you around this cause I could hurt you.” He said. “What? What do you mean?” I asked and Ben sighs. “Remember how I said the Russians tortured me and experimented on me?” Ben asked me and I nodded. “They…did something…to me…I don’t know what exactly but….it’s like…I feel this uncontrollable power and…it just releases out of me, like an explosion…” he said and my jaw drops at this.

”Wait…that explosion that happened in Midtown…was that you?” I asked him and he stares at me then nods, slowly. I gasp at this. “So that was you I saw.” I whispered and he nods again. “I wanted to go to you, I wanted to embrace you and kiss you when I saw you but…I didn’t want to scare you.” Ben said and I take a step closer to him and place my right hand on his cheek.

”You can never scare me, Ben.” I said and he runs his green eyes over me before nodding a bit. He raises his right hand and removes my hand off of his face then places a kiss to it before lowering it down. “I’ve gotta go…I’m gonna have a talk with Countess and then I’ll come back to you.” He said. “You sure?” I asked, a bit of a teasing smirk, and he smiles a little.

”I will. Plus, I’ve got forty years to make up to my girl.” Ben said, giving me that smirk that always had a hold on me. He leans into me and places a kiss on my lips again before he pulls back then begins to walk away. “Please, be careful.” I tell him as he walks out of my room.

He stops and looks over his shoulder at me and gives me a small smile, which really reminded me of the night we first met. “I will.” He said then he walks out.

*3rd Person POV*

It was nightfall by the time Ben walks up to Crimson’s trailer. But as he walks up to the small building, he sees a couple of familiar faces; one of them was passed out on the ground while the main man stands tall. It was Butcher.

“You're that asshоlе from the lab.” Ben said, in recognition, as he stops and stares at Butcher. “That's right. I'm the arsehole that let you out. Russian Porta-Loos, eh?” Butcher said while the other man, M.M., starts to pass out thanks to the drugs Butcher put in his water. “You want the Countess's head on a spike, don't you? Well, she's in there, yours for the taking. Consider it a gesture of good faith.” Butcher said as he walks up to Ben.

Ben furrows his brow. “Good faith for what?” Ben asked him. “I was thinking that you and I could come to a little arrangement. What you lot call...a team up.” Butcher said, smirking.

"Ben? Is that really you?" Crimson asked as Ben comes into her trailer and sees her tied up to a chair and her hands were wrapped in duct tape. "You look so young." She compliments with a smile. "You don't." Ben sneers and Crimson glares at him for a moment before she quickly gets teary eyed, hoping to come off innocent.

"I'm so, so sorry. It wasn't my idea. God, you got to believe me. I-I..." she pleads but Ben doesn't wanna hear her grovel, all he wanted was the truth. "How much did the Russians pay you? Hmm?" Ben asked her as he takes a couple of steps towards her.

Crimson bites her lips before she speaks. "They didn't." She replied, shaking her head, and Ben was taken aback by this. "What? They didn't pay you anything?" Ben asked, shocked, and Crimson shakes her head. "Then why? We were a team, we’re supposed to have each other’s back…” Ben said, confused.

"I hated you. We all did. All except Mystic, she was the only one that liked you. That's why we made sure she didn't know, because she was the only one dumb enough to ruined it all." Crimson spat and Ben glares at her and felt anger flare up in his chest.

Then his chest begins to glow and Crimson's glare changes to a look of fear as the light from Ben's chest glows brighter and brighter until it blasted out of his chest, blowing up her trailer and turning Crimson Countess into a charred corpse.

Once the smoke starts to clear, Ben turns away and starts to walk out of the charred remains of the trailer to see that Butcher had moved M.M. away and there were two more people there. A tall skinny nerdy looking guy and a short blonde girl that Ben recalled from seeing on the poster of The Seven.

Starlight starts to step forwards towards Soldier Boy, her eyes glowing gold, when Hughie steps in front of her. She stops and stares at him as her eyes go back to normal. “What are you doing?” She asked him, confused. “Annie, listen. We wanted a weapon. Soldier Boy's our weapon. He's how we kill Homelander. And Neuman maybe. If anyone's strong enough, he is.” Hughie explains and Starlight gives him a shocked look.

”Y-You knew Butcher was gonna do this?” She asked him and Hughie bites his lips. “M.M. never would've gone for it, and you...Look, you weren't supposed to be here.” He said and Starlight exhales at this. “Oh. So...no more secrets, huh?” She asked, upset, and Hughie looks down. “Hughie...you're teaming up with a murderer.” She accused and Hughie looks back at her.

”This is the only way that I can save you from Homelander. I'm doing this for you. Whatever it takes, remember? Come with us. You and me against the world.” Hughie pleads to her while Ben had already started to walk away. “Hughie.” Butcher hollers and Hughie starts to turn to him but Starlight grabs his arm.

”Please don't go.” She pleads to him and Hughie gives her the I’m sorry look before he walks off and follows Butcher and Ben.

*(y/n)’s POV*

I was pacing around my living room, beyond worried about Ben, until I heard what sounded like a car pulling up into my driveway. I felt confused so I go to my window and pull back the curtains to see a car had, indeed, pulled up and the passenger door of the car opens, Ben walking out.

“Oh God.” I whispered and I move away from the window and open my front door as Ben comes up to my porch. “Ben!” I said, relieved, and he and I embrace each other. I look over and see Butcher walking up, along with a tall young man behind him.

”Mr Butcher?” I said as I pull away from the embrace. “Mystic Shade.” Butcher greets. “The hell are you doing here?” I asked him as Ben looks between me and Butcher. “You two know each other?” He asked me and I nod. “You should thank your girl actually. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have come to that compound and freed you.” Butcher tells Ben.

”So, here’s what we’re gonna do. My partner, Hughie, and I will leave you two alone tonight, I’m sure you two have a lot of catching up to do. And then we’ll come by in the morning and have a little chat.” Butcher said as he gestures to the young man behind him and I raised an eyebrow. “What kind of chat?” I asked him and Butcher smirks. “About doing a bit of a team up. You’re welcome to join us, Mystic Shade.” He tells me.

@winchestergirl1720 @deans-spinster-witch @mimaria420 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @kitsun369 @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @deangirl96 @demodemo909 @cassiecasluciluce @mostlymarvelgirl @onlyangel-444

[stayandot8]

One Day...

Genre: fluff

Relationship type: idol!Chan x actress!reader, best friends

Important Contents: Thank you for the idea, anon. It may not be exactly what you asked for but I couldn't get this scene out of my head. I hope you enjoy nonetheless. Who knows? Maybe there'll be a part two. We all know I love to write a part two... 😉... lmao that felt like an 'xoxo gossip girl' moment. someone save me

WC: 2.1k

masterlist l Part Two

Me: You promised to run lines with me. I’m outside, let me in

Chris: You have no manners. What if I wasn’t home and security saw you and forced you to leave?

Me: Let me in or I’m sending Minho that photo we took for Halloween last year.

“Okay, okay. No need for the big guns, alright?” As expected, Chris opened the door within seconds of my thumb hitting send. 

“Go big or go home.” I retorted, traipsing in through the doorway and planting myself on the couch. 

“I’d rather you go home. Don’t you have anyone else to run these with?” He shuffled over to me, sporting his trademark athletic shorts and black t shirt. So he’d been working? What else is new? 

“Are you saying that in your friend’s time of need, you won’t help her?” I flung myself across the couch with a delicately placed hand on my forehead, draping over the furniture. I heard a huff of air from the man in front of me as he was fighting his own smile. I sat back up, fighting one of my own. “Come on, Chan. I really need your help. I finally booked a serious drama after months of hosting stupid TV shows and this could be my breakthrough to be taken seriously. This could lead to some serious stuff one day! But I just can’t get these lines right on my own. I just peek at the paper if I mess something up and it ruins my whole flow. I need a scene partner. Please?” I gave him my biggest doe eyes and a smile so sweet it should’ve been used in Felix’s brownies. And like always, it worked. 

Chan rolled his eyes as he plopped down next to me and held out his hand for the stapled sheets of paper. I perked up, rummaging through my bag for the rumpled stack and placing it in his outstretched hand. He brought it to him and scanned the page, every so often lifting the top to scan the next, his brows drawing closer and closer together.

“This is a love scene!” He threw me his best disgusted face and dropped the pages in the space between us like it may bite him. 

“Do you know how hard it is to play a love scene when there’s no one acting in front of you? Acting is all about response, reactions. I can’t act if there’s nothing to react to!”

“You can barely a-”

“Don’t even finish the words I know you don’t mean.” I deadpanned to him, setting my jaw. He threw his hands up and at least had the decency to look mildly ashamed. 

“It was a joke. You know I think you’re great. The best.” He smiled at me, that tight-lipped smile he always had when he wasn’t saying the full truth. I always would mean to ask but he would change the subject too quickly. Like now. “What’s your character like anyways? I’ve never heard of this director before.” 

“Oh, the director’s name on the script isn’t the real one. It’s a fake that they wrote in so no one would know who was actually doing the project. Even I don’t know who it is. We start shooting in two days and I’m dying to know. I bet it’s someone super famous, someone no one would expect to do a project like this. Maybe a famous action director or something like that.” His lips were tucked into his mouth, fighting more laughter. I slapped his shoulder. “Stop laughing! Stop shitting on my dreams, okay? Just start at the top when you’re ready.” I shook out my limbs to loosen up and prepare for what was supposed to be the height of the series. The male love interest had just entered the airport where the female lead was leaving the country, taking a job offer elsewhere. He was calling her name, trying to find her and he spots her and runs to her. At least, this was the background I was giving Chan as his eyebrows rose higher and higher the more I went on. 

“Why doesn’t he just call her?” I rolled my eyes with such vigor, I strained them just a tad. 

“This drama takes place in the late 90s. They didn’t have phones like that. Now start reading where that line is drawn.” I closed my eyes to focus on the moment. I could see it in my head, on display in front of me. I was leaving my home, my country, to chase after my dreams. Or what I thought were my dreams, until I heard my name being shouted throughout the airport.

“Juna! Juna!” Chris whisper-shouted. He really was barely any help.

I mimed turning my head to where the source of the noise came from. There he was. My lover. My heart started racing. 

“You can’t just leave me like this. I won’t let you.”

“You have to let me go. This is my dream.”

“Are you sure about that? What about everything you said to me last night? And every night before that?”

“I meant it all. But I have to do this for myself. I owe it to her.”

“So you’ll throw away everything we have for - Wow, this guy’s a dick.” My head snapped to the boy beside me who was looking at the pages in his hands more closely. “He’s asking her to stay with him in the small town that she hates, just for him? Instead of following her dreams?”

“Yes. And then she leaves anyway and he follows her instead. Keep going.” I faced forward again, to the scene I had imagined. 

“Good! Good for her.”

“Yes. Yes it is good for her. Keep. Going.” Another sigh filled the room. I drowned it out again, going back into the scene. 

“So you’ll throw away everything we have for what? A stupid promise you made when you were twelve? You’ve grown up now. You’ve changed. You’ve changed me. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

“It’s not enough anymore. Please let me go, you’re only making this hurt more.”

“So I’m not enough for you, is that it? Is that what you tried to tell me last night?”

“It’s not you that isn’t enough. It’s this place. I need to go and see the world. See new places, meet new people. This city was what I needed two years ago. You’ve helped me see that. Now I need to go. My plane leaves soon, please don’t make this harder than it already is.” I could see it, my eyes filling with tears as he reaches for my hand and says the one thing I need to hear, the one thing he’s kept from me this whole time…

There was a long pause where there should’ve been words. I was shaken from my scene, waiting for Chris to say the next part. When he didn’t, I slowly looked over to him. He sat frozen, staring at the page. “I’m not saying this.”

“Why?” My tone was incredulous. 

“No one says things like this in real life.”

“Just because you’ve never been in love or had a girlfriend does not mean you know everything about it. In fact, it means the opposite.”

“But I know men. And they don’t just outright say things like this. It’s ridiculous.”

“Christopher, read me the line or so help me, I will make so much noise that I will wake up your entire building.”

“It’s not my fault you like to study your lines so late into the night.”

“That’s the only time you’re awake and free.”

“I wasn’t actually free, I was working on our new-” He was cut off by my sudden movement to his kitchen area. I started opening the cabinet with the pots and pans when he started fluttering the pages at me. “Okay, okay! See? Look, I’m ready to read now. Should I start here or somewhere else?” I nodded, satisfied, and returned to my seat. 

“Start a few lines back so I can work up to it again.” A small ‘so dramatic’ under his breath before he continued, which I dutifully ignored. 

“So you’ll throw away everything we have for what? A stupid promise you made when you were twelve? You’ve grown up now. You’ve changed. You’ve changed me. Shouldn’t that count for something?”

“It’s not enough anymore. Please let me go, you’re only making this hurt more.”

“So I’m not enough for you, is that it? Is that what you tried to tell me last night?”

“It’s not you that isn’t enough. It’s this place. I need to go and see the world. See new places, meet new people. This city was what I needed two years ago. You’ve helped me see that. Now I need to go. My plane leaves soon, please don’t make this harder than it already is.” 

“Even if you are the only thing in this world that makes me want to breathe? The only thing I want to do is be near you. Everyday. It is the only thing I look forward to. You are the only thing in my life that makes sense. Please don’t take it from me.” He pulls me closer for a kiss, which I allow. A final kiss. A final goodbye. Before I cup his cheek and turn away for good, one last tear trailing down my face. 

“I think I might be sick.” Chris and his upturned lip were still looking at the page. 

“Well, you’d better find a toilet then and let me read my lines in peace.”

“Is that all the practice you want to do? Are you sure?”

“If you’re going to make fun of my script, then yes. That’s all the practice I want to do. I’m just going to go over it a few more times in my head then I’ll leave.” I crossed my arms as I sat back, snatching the script back from him and gluing my eyes to it. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t making fun of you, you know that. I ‘mhm’d loud enough for him to hear without letting my eyes leave my script. “Okay then. Stay as long as you want. I’ll be in my room if you want to do it again. If you get done early, I’d love to show you a song we’re working on. It’s going to be a good one.” His voice went up an octave, knowing that teasing me with new music would definitely pull my forgiveness from me. And damn it, it always worked. 

“Okay, fine. But I want you good headphones!” I smirked at my pages, feeling triumphant for the umpteenth time in our friendship. I heard him shuffle back into his LED-lit cave and creak the door, leaving it cracked for me. Without the company of another person, my eyes suddenly felt very heavy. Okay, maybe just for a second…

Famous last words…

*

Where did that girl go? Did she leave without saying goodbye? Was I too harsh on her? I knew that joke was too much. God, Chris, you take it too far sometimes. 

I shuffled out of my room half an hour later and listened for any noise coming from the living room. I heard none. I called out her name. The first word for love I had ever known.

No reply. I ventured deeper until I heard the faint snores I’d come to love, becoming a constant for many years. Peering around the corner to see her slumped against the back of the couch with her mouth open and eyes shut, I shook my head as the Uncontrollable Grin took over. The same one that appeared when I saw her face the very first time. The one that fought its way onto my lips whenever she was near. Everyone else noticed it. But not her. She still had no idea. 

I somehow moved her to lay on her side without waking her, grabbed a blanket from my room, her favorite one, and threw it over her. Even asleep, she had too much strength. Taking the script from her hands was harder than it should have been. My work was beckoning to me again but I was drawn to her, as I always had been.  Watching her chest rise and fall in the darkness, the moon basking her in its light, I could see it. All on display in front of me. She, just having put the baby down for bed, if we had any, and not being able to make it to the bedroom, collapsing on the couch from exhaustion. I would carry her to the room and tuck her in, kissing her before I would have to go back to the studio. 

One day, I thought as I flipped the light switch.

One day.

masterlist

[modern-day-bard]

Worth The Feeling

Note: this is a completed project but I’ve had major problems posting on tumblr from my laptop! I’m not sure why. If anyone who sees this is interested, I also posted the fic on Archive Of Our Own 🫶🏻

Content Warning: 18+

This story includes explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship (MC is 26, Javi is in his 40s). Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 2:

Now, I've made some blunders before. Mostly calling talent by the wrong name, which is a big mistake when dealing with big personalities. But I've tripped a few times, spilled a few things, and I even broke a glass in the middle of a take.

Yet somehow, none of those things compare to this.

Treating the lead as if he was a PA? Telling him he needs to get a walkie ?

The thought makes me sprint even harder toward the sound stage. Once inside, I scan the area as quickly as I can. There's at least a hundred people in here now and the more I push past, the more I realize they are turning to look at me disapprovingly. I really should find a new shirt first, but it can wait.

"Lana!" I shout when I catch a glimpse of one of her classic colorful scarves. I can see the bright fabric tied in a bow on top of her curly head of hair, but she doesn't turn around.

"LANA!" This time several people, Lana included, turn around.

"Hey!" She runs up to me and sweeps me in a hug, before pulling back with an uncharacteristically miserable expression. "Why are you all wet? Ava, I can see your bra." She pokes my visible white strap.

I swat her away. "Just wait. That is the least of my worries."

I explain the situation, visibly cringing as I await her reaction.

In typical Lana fashion, she bursts into musical hysterics. She covers her mouth when she notices how pained my expression is.

"Lana, I am this close to panicking. You don't think he'll complain, do you?"

"No, no he won't complain. You said he was relatively cool about it, right?"

"Yeah, I mean, he didn't even correct me."

"Exactly. You know if it was one of the Marvel guys from our last picture, you might be in trouble. But from the sounds of it, he probably won't even remember it by tomorrow."

"Yeah..." Why did that idea not make me feel any better?

Lana is snickering again. "You know I sent you the cast list like a month ago, right? How do you of all people not recognize Javi Gutierrez?"

I lower my voice. "You know I'm not an indie movie fanatic."

"I know. It's your fatal friendship flaw. But he was on a bunch of shows, too!"

"I haven't had time for TV with school! Movies are less commitment. Don't scold me in my time of need." I wack her arm.

"Fine, fine," She holds her hands up in defeat. "But seriously Ava, unless you want to continue to give us all a free show you should really get another shirt. I have to get these mics up and running, but go to wardrobe and find Barb."

She's right. The first scene is at 8:00am, and as a sound assistant, Lana has to be ready to mic up the actors as soon as they're out of hair and makeup. I still have to print out scripts for the first few scenes, and I'm really starting to hate the sticky feeling on my stomach.

"Okay, thank you!"

Lana winks at me as I turn and head for the wardrobe trailer on the far side of the lot. Barbra has been on Norwick Productions sets since movies were invented. That is actually the answer she will give a person if they ask how long she's been working. She's the grumpy, tough-love mom I never had. And since Lana is pretty much the only person I hung out with during hiatus, I missed Barb dearly.

Barb's expression pales as soon as she sees me.

"Ava, it's only day one for god's sake."

"Don't worry Barb, Lana already scolded me for you."

"I do like that girl. And I'm guessing you came by to catch up after break, and not simply because you need my help?" She raises a knowing brow.

"Obviously." I flash her a very over-dramatic smile.

"I should give you one of the ratty uniforms from the end of this film for that."

"But you won't, because you love me." I batted my lashes.

"Uh-huh." Barb sighs, disappearing into the depths of the trailer before coming back out with a clean white t-shirt. No fuss, no fake blood.

"You are my guardian angel." I say after swapping the shirts.

"Bring me real coffee tomorrow instead of this crafty crap and we can call it even." She says in a flat tone, and I know she's not kidding.

I give her a quick hug. "It's good to see you Barb."

That makes her chuckle slightly. "You too, kiddo."

I check my watch again. 7:30am. Barely enough time to print out the scripts. I bid Barb a quick goodbye and head to the closest copier.

After kicking it a few times, and uttering several curse words, I got the copier up and running and several copies of today's script printed. I try to skim today's scenes while walking back to the soundstage. I'm beginning to grow curious as to watch is actually happening in this movie. Since we usually shoot scenes out of order, these few pages aren't helping very much.

Back on the soundstage, I spot Lloyd, our director, and walk over to hand him today's pages.

"Ava, welcome back." Lloyd says in his usual artistic drawl. He takes one of the copies from me, flipping through as though looking for something specific, though I know he is barely even skimming the pages.

Part of me is holding my breath, wondering if Javi would have complained to Lloyd or a production manager at this point. I'm not sure when he would have time for that between hair and makeup, but in a world where my mishap today costs me my job, he would find the time.

But, Lloyd is deep in conversation with a cameraman and doesn't spare me another glance. I take that as a good sign, and slowly slink toward the far corner of the room. This way I can still have a good view of the stage without calling too much attention to myself. I can see Lana across the room micing up one of the actors in the scene. Some older gentleman who I heard was popular on a cowboy show that I've never seen. I recognize his face more than I did Javi's, which embarrasses me further, even though the fact is only known to me.

Then, as though the gods of shame were looking down and laughing at me, Javi walks into the large room. I quickly open the first scene's pages to see if I can figure out whom he is playing. That, and so I can take my mind off of how he looks even more attractive in costume. I steal a glance up from the pages and see Lana micing him up now. He's smiling warmly at her, and she chuckles at something he said. Lana tends to laugh at most things, but I can't help but wonder what words were being passed between them.

The two men step onto the CIA set together, both dressed in impeccably tailored suits, making light conversation. Now is my que to bring them their copy of the pages for a final once-over before we roll the cameras. I inhale deeply and set my shoulders back.

Don't be intimidated, Ava. You can't embarrass yourself any worse than you already have.

Well, I know that last part isn't true. But I repeat it to myself all the same.

I walk up to the men, handing them each a copy with a smile.

The older gentleman gives me a friendly nod as he takes the script. Javi gives me the same smile he gave Lana a few minutes prior. I'm turning to leave, and I'm surprised when he says, "Thank you, Ava."

I pause, half out of surprise that he remembered my name, and half over the hesitation of wondering if I should apologize for earlier. But his attention is already on the pages, and there are so many people around to hear me admit my mistakes. I decide against it.

- - -

After we shoot the first few takes, I think I'm starting to piece together what the film is about. In the way that it is not unlike most other spy films I've seen. Older Cowboy, whose real name is still evading me, has a small role as the experienced head of the CIA who brings on Javi's character, a real loose cannon, despite his reservations. There is something about a kidnapping of Javi's lover that makes him "too close to the case," but he lies about his involvement with the woman to make sure he can be the one to save her. I'm assuming that is when we will be in Italy. Spy movies love a good ol' car chase in Europe.

I'm not blown away by the originality of the script or anything, but I'm still engaged in the scene even on their tenth take. I realize that Javi is actually quite talented. I'm only ever engaged in a scene if the actors are talented. That, or if Lloyd is having a breakdown.

I spend the rest of the scene trying not to notice just how well tailored that suit is on Javi. I never leer at the talent, but I always appreciate a good-looking man in a suit. Plus, there is something different about him. He has a kindness to him that I haven't seen with other actors. We've been working with a lot of big names recently, so maybe I've just become disillusioned. Even still, I know some lesser actors who would've complained about my assumption early, even if they painted it as a joke. They would never want me to fully live it down. But not Javi. At least, not so far.

When they call for a break, I decided it would be best to fulfill some of my other duties on another part of the lot.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. I try to stay away from the soundstage, knowing that they will be working with Javi for the next few hours. I check my watch for the umpteenth today, and I crack a smile when I realize we only have about an hour left. My last stop is Emma Madden's trailer, our leading lady. And then I finally get to drive home and sleep.

I hadn't met Emma before, but similar to Javi, she isn't in the same celebrity category as our last film, so she seems much friendlier. I got a call on my walkie letting me know there was an issue with her food, and with not much else to go off of, I figured I might be in for a celebrity meltdown. However, when I got here, she let me know that she is severely allergic to mustard, and was afraid to touch the sandwich that had been dropped off to her. Sure, maybe it was a little 'Hollywood' for her to have me come and throw it in the garbage for her, but she was pretty apologetic about it.

"Thank you so much, Anna." She says with her knees brought up to her chest, as if she was shielding her center from the turkey sandwich springing back up out of the trash. Her expression is worried and her tone is so sincere that I don't correct her. Not that I would have otherwise.

"Not a problem Ms. Madden." I dust off sesame seeds from my palms.

"Oh please, call me Emma." She smiled at me now, and I couldn't help but like her a little.

"I know a mustard allergy is like, totally random, but it's actually pretty bad. I have an epipen and everything." I know she must be at least thirty years old, but her inflection reminds me of a teenager.

"I'll let crafty know. They should have sent you a food preference and allergy sheet to fill out months ago, that's the studio's fault."

"Oh, they did! I completely forgot about that. I figured it was just if you were a picky eater."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Well, no worries. I'll let them know now." I reach for the doorknob of the trailer.

"Thank you again!" Emma called out as I closed the door behind me.

As I'm finally able to drop off my walkie for the day, I run through all the ways that Emma's Mustard Mayhem could have cost the studio hundreds of thousands of dollars. How did they start production without having her sign a waiver? Why did no one double check that all the talent had sent in their allergy lists? If she were a higher profile celebrity, this could have been a huge issue. But as usual, these are the scenarios I keep to myself. And as I drive home, I try to run through only mustard scenarios, and ignore any that pop up with another actor in mind.

Series Masterlist

[xxmoodslimexx]

Your work is absolutely fantastic! I send a million kisses to you, you’re amazing! Can I request one where the boys meet their S/O for the first time and the S/O is famous for their work in science and all? I bet the boys would nervous but also excited to meet their idol who becomes their lover! ☺️ Thank you so much!

((Thank you!! Kisses back 😚))

Ghostbusters with a famous scientist s/o

- Peter -

• When Peter’s told you’re gonna be the next guest on his TV show he completely freaks out. Usually he doesn’t care what anyone thinks but you actually know what you’re talking about!

• The man has never followed anything close to a script in his life but all of a sudden it’s vital he has plans A B and C in case you completely roast him.

• And then he actually meets you and… Things go okay! He’s in awe of course, but he finds himself feeling really comfortable with you too. A lot of viewers comment that it’s his best episode yet because your chemistry is so great.

• The real kicker of course is that you like him back. You guys run out of airtime but are quick to pick it up after the show. Pete tries to convince you to become a regular on the show, but you compromise and go on regular dates instead.

- Egon -

• When Janine passed on the message that a Doctor/Professor Y/N has asked for his help on a scientific inquiry, he has to sit down for a second. He’s more than a little star-struck.

• His lab has never looked cleaner than when he was preparing for your arrival. All the boys tease him but know he’s serious when he tells them to be on their best behaviour and treat you with the utmost respect.

• Needless to say he’s super nervous to meet you, buy once you get him talking about his work and how much he’s studied yours he finally starts to relax. The study your conducting benefits greatly from his input and you’re able to help him with a couple things too.

• The two of you end up working on a long-term project together which turns into a long-term relationship. Egon still has to pinch himself sometimes.

- Ray -

• As a scientist the Ghostbusters completely fascinated you but unfortunately getting hold of them was near impossible with how many calls they get 24/7.. So you decide to take a more direct route.

• When you first walk into Ray’s Occult books you’re almost sure you’ve got the wrong place.. That is until Dr Stantz himself bounds over to welcome you personally, shaking your hand slightly too long and explaining about how he’s such a big fan.

• He’s completely floored when you explain that you’re actually here to ask about him and his work, but of course he’s more than happy to help. He ends up closing the store so you guys have it to yourselves and talk for hours.

• In the evening he invites you back to the firehouse for dinner and a look at all the equipment he’s been talking about.. But before you go, would you sign a copy of your papers for him?

- Winston -

• Winston’s not exactly a scientist, but he knows who you are, and he knows it’s an honour to meet you when you two bump into each other at some Mayoral event him and the guys were dragged to.

• He’s a breath of fresh air after having to shake hands and talk seriously with the other people there. He’s smooth and charming and respectful and funny. The two of you grab a drink and get along like a house on fire.

• He explains that your work seriously helped him out when he was trying to read up on some things he thought might help him in the job.

• Since the event is really neither of your things, he offers to give you a grand tour of the Ghostbuster HQ, which you happily take. It’s exciting in a myriad of ways.. And you just so happen to still be there the next morning.

[beepboop358]

Anti-Byler Argument Refuttals

Although I discussed all of this in my Byler Proof master slides post, I wanted to do a separate post specifically just refutting the most common anti-byler arguments.

1. "Mike and El's relationship is too developed" and "They have been through too much together to break up now!"

This is probably the thing I hear the most when people argue that Byler will never happen. The weirdest part of this argument is that people assume that they will never drift apart, and that they will never ever break up, as if we didn't just see them drift apart, break up, and not officially get back together in S3? Yes, they have both been through a significant amount of trauma, but their relationship is not as developed as people think it is, they barely even know each other really. They spent a week together in S1, then El was gone for a year. Mike and El don't reunite until the very end of S2, probably a few days after halloween. If we work out the timeline between Halloween of 1984 and July 4th of 1985 in S3, that's 246 days, so it's actually less than a full year they have spent together, getting to know each other.

The “development” people argue that Mike and El have just doesn't stand up. Mike and El do not have intimate conversations, their conversations are incredibly awkward, and they just kiss frequently in the beginning of S3 before they break up. That's not development. Hopper even refers to their constant kissing as "not normal and not healthy." Mike couldn't tell El he loves her to her face, which is a parallel to the failed relationship of Stancy where Nancy couldn't tell Steve she loved him, and we later find out it's because she doesn't, which all happens during the blank makes you crazy scene that is extremely similar to Robin's coming out scene. And yes, Mike and El have endured a lot of trauma together, but so has the rest of the group and people don't seem to use this argument the same way with the other couples, or between the friendships. History doesn't determine the future if there's no feelings involved, things can always change. This is idea of staying in a relationship where there is no real love but there is history/benefits is hinted at in S3 when Mike dresses almost identically to both of his parents.

2. "Look at how much Mike cares for El! They're in love!"

No, they're not, and how they treat each other proves that they're not. I firmly believe neither Mike nor El is seriously, romantically in love with each other.

If Mike was really deeply, romantically in love with El, why did he treat her like he did in S3? If he really cares about her that much, why did he wait for Lucas to guide him at all times in matters regarding his relationship with El, instead of just taking initiative, but he does take initiative with Will? Why can't her apologize to her? Why wasn't Mike more upset about El dumping him? Why couldn't he tell El he loves her to her face? Why did he consistently lie to her throughout the whole show? Why did he stop calling her in S2? Why did he give up and say she was dead, but never gave up on Will? Why did he scream in her face in S1? And no - it isn't because he's just shy or awkward. Mike doesn't act like he is truly in love with El because he isn't. He is projecting his feelings for Will onto El, and he is deeply in denial about his sexuality due to his internalized homophobia and hasn't fully processed how he feels about Will throughout the series (up until the ending of S3). And why does Mike have such an odd reaction to El saying she loves him if he does love her? If he loves her that should be exactly what he wants to hear, so why does he look so confused and scared? And why doesn't he just say it back right then?

El isn't seriously, romantically in love with Mike. They meet in S1, and he immediately takes her in, saving her life. He looks out for her, and actually cares if she is okay, and no one has ever done that for her before. El was abused her whole childhood until Mike lets her live in his basement. He was the first person to treat her like a human being, and show her compassion, which she has never experienced before. It makes total sense that she would cling to their relationship like a security blanket. Mike is an emotional attachment for El. He makes her feel safe, because of how he saved her life previously. El has very limited knowledge of love, life, friendship, relationships, and social behaviors since she was locked in a lab for over a decade of her life, she was never truly exposed to these concepts like the other kids in the party were. Everything El thinks she knows about love she learns from watching soap opera's alone in Hopper's cabin. Of course her perception of what romantic love is, is warped. If El was seriously romantically in love with Mike, why was their break-up no big deal to her? Why was she smiling, laughing and looking at pictures of boys with Max right after she supposedly dumped the love of her life? Why did she not seem even the slightest bit upset about it the entire season?

If they're both seriously in love, then why are their interactions so awkward to watch and why does it feel so unnatural and forced? Why don’t Mileven’s interactions feel romantic? The official released scripts on 8flix describe several Mileven scenes as "awkward". It's no coincidence that detail was included in the script.

3. "But they already have Robin"

I mean this comment basically means that sense the show already has one confirmed lgbtq+ character, there can't possibly be any others. What?! There isn't a "one gay character limit per TV show". This comment really bothers me because it reeks of homophobia. If you don't ship Byler that's fine, but refusing to even explore the possibility there could be more than one lgtbq+ character in a TV show just because one already exists? Yeah no. Queer people existed in the 80's, definitely more than just one, so capping out the amount of queer characters in the show is just icky.

Also, Robin was not originally written to be a gay character. It was decided during the filming process that Robin should be a lesbian, because Maya Hawke and Joe Keery were not getting romantic vibes between their characters. Just because the show introduced a new gay character in S3, it does not mean the queercoding of Will and Mike is erased to make room for Robin, and keep Mileven together. Making Robin a lesbian, does not cancel out Mike and Will being gay/liking each other, and the show's future plans for byler.

4. "Mike's not gay."

Does this seem straight to you?

Giving your girlfriend a drawing of your male best friend, that was drawn by him, but telling her it's your drawing so she'll hang it up on the wall you coincidentally face while you make out with her, to remind you of him.

Taking your girlfriends hands off of you while you're making out with her, and keeping your hands folded in your lap away from her.

Only being able to apologize to said male best friend and being more emotionally invested in that relationship than your relationship with your girlfriend.

Mike is the only other person besides Will pictured in close up shots with rainbow and fruit imagery.

Even the die-hard Mileven fans have to admit that's more than a little coincidental, and if we know anything about the Duffer brothers, it's that they love incorporating intricate details in their show to reveal things about the characters/plot.

If you want more examples, some images, or just a more in-depth analysis of byler throughout the series, I suggest you check out my Byler Proof master slides :)

[hetaliatxtpostz]

and Finally an actor au. (Sorry for spamming the Ask box!)

YES! No, no, don’t be sorry, I asked you to. Okay, this AU is one I’m so excited about. 

I think this actor AU could be very, very fun if they were acting in Hetalia as a live-action show like I’ve seen @cereal-miilk do. But that might just be why they were all together. This is just how I would do them as actors in general.

Here’s my ;) cast: 

Feliciano Vargas: Feli does exclusively indie horror/thriller productions as the villian. He has played some incredibly disturbing roles. His ability to convey a truly terrifying (many times inhuman) antagonist has landed him a cult following, tho he refuses to do any projects that would win him real fame, as he prefers the freedom of indie projects to convey truly dark themes. The people who have seen his acting are startled to find he’s a delightful and bubbly person outside of his roles. 

Lovino Vargas: Also plays only villains, but he plays high-class types of villains. He plays opposite to action stars. He does a lot of popular movies. He’s great at accent work. His career is much more well known than his brother’s, although the people who know them both do say Feliciano is better for the sheer inhumanness of his performances... And there is a bit of mixup sometimes between them. 

Romulus Vargas: Played a lot of famous roles of sexy action heros. Now does mostly cameos that reference himself. (Think Harrison Ford, but if he leaned heavily into his own hype.) Is very interested in sons careers: he’d like for Feliciano to take any role in any other type of movie. He thinks that Lovino should try playing a hero. 

Wang Yao: The most famous actor in this lineup, especially in Asia (tho Romulus is more popular in America, Yao is more popular by the numbers). He has starred in a number of dramas. He has a lot more range to his acting than Romulus does. He refuses to tell people how old he is, but also is very insistent that he has more experience than anyone else he works with, and knows better. He has won so many awards and so much critical acclaim. The moves he makes are art.

Honda Kiku: He works mostly in j-dramas. He has a very private life outside of tv shows, and he doesn’t really have much interest in acting in movies. 

Arthur Kirkland: Arthur Kirkland exclusively does two things: voice overs for documentaries, and period dramas. He works for the BBC, and he’s content with these two things, and that’s it. 

Francis Bonnefoy: Does the cheesiest hallmark type rom-coms. He adores the rom-com. His goal in life is to start in as many rom-coms as possible. He loves over-acting. He doesn’t really do subtlety. 

Antonio Fernandez Carriedo: He’s an actor that either plays action roles or like wholesome family type roles and nothing in between. He definitely has a lot of buzz presswise that’s stuff like “got into a bar fight” or “crashed a convertible.” But he’s still nice to his fans. 

Ivan Braginski: Is a character actor who plays henchmen or the muscle for any show, but is really a very sweet guy who’s knitting backstage. 

Matthew Williams: Does mostly comedies when he does movies. When he’s in TV shows he tends to be a one-off character actor which is something like “a guy who lives in the woods.” 

Alfred F. Jones: He started off as Matthew’s stuntman, but when MAtthew found him reading off Matthew lines, he decided that Alfred was good enough to also be an actor and started securing roles for him. Alfred has a lot of range in acting. He does his own stunts. His dream is to play a superhero. 

Ludwig Beilschmidt: Like a b-list actor, he tends to do only terrible movies you would find on like the sci-fi channel. Tho his being so handsome has won him a bit of a following, and there are serval memes going about regarding this hot actor. 

Gilbert Beilschmidt: Was a popular vlogger before anyone cast him, and his casting was a surprise to people. Not considered a “real” actor. He is good at acting, and he works hard to be taken seriously, especially with his online image. 

Extra Stuff 

Okay so these are just my ideas for if they did do a live-action version of Hetalia where they all worked together. 

Feliciano & Lovino working together and they have some tension that bleeds over into their acting (along with their villian energy that they have to work to tone down):

Feliciano: you need to stop telling the people I’m flirting with that I'm a slut. Lovino: you need to not pretend to be me and then say I do cocaine in interviews. Ludwig: .... What? You didn't actually do that did you? Feliciano: UGH ONE TIME!

Feliciano *brushing a strand of hair from his face, flirting, kinda softly*: I'm not that annoying in real life, you know-- Lovino *from the background*: BEG TO DIFFER!!!!

Also like, Matthew being like “you were my stuntman, then I started your career. So like, I kinda own your career?” And then he’s dedicated to just annoying Alfred-- peak sibling energy. 

Matthew: "Alfred wants to play his younger self too." or “Should Canada just murder America in this episode, ‘cause--” Alfred: "Working with you is a nightmare"

The cast is surprised by the sheer volume that Matt can yell "ALFRED" across the set bc he's always whispering in character. (To which Alfred will shout back just as loud.)

Francis & Arthur are married outside of their roles, and they have to tone down being sweet and married in the show, bc they know they’re supposed to be fighting. But also:

Arthur *watching Francis play France*: You’re never like that with me at home." Francis You want me to be... Annoying? At home?

Romulus roped Yao into doing this project, and that’s the only reason such a  talented and famous actor is in the show:

The rumor mill is like "are famous actors Romulus and Yao dating???!!" Based on this stupid show, and Yao sends Romulus that headline like "every day I work on this project my life is measurably worse and it's your fault."

Alfred is also in awe of Romulus’ action roles, and he’s like “wow can you sign my face??”

Other random details I would include: 

Gilbird isn't part of the script Gilbert just loves his bird that much and asked if he could have him. 

Lovino and Feliciano are also trying to make a crossover project where they’re two different types of villians having it out: it’s a movie. 

I think it would be funny if Ludwig was actually American with German parents, and Alfred is actually Canadian like Matthew but can do an American so well. 

Everyone on this set is having so much fun. 

[inmyarmswrappedin]

i didnt know abt skam at all until druck new gen, but have done a retrospective deep dive and was just wondering if u know how popular the remakes have been in their countries of origin? obvi theres SOME popularity, and from an international audience thanks to og skam, but did people in skam countries connect with it without the context of the og? (ik its kinda a loaded question but all ur answers are somehow entertaining and informative so figured i'd ask)

Hi anon 💐 Flattery will get you everywhere, haha. But seriously though, thanks for the note in parenthesis, I know I’m long winded, so I try to be interesting at least!

Of course I can’t really get a feel for how popular a Skam is in their home country, because I only live in Spain and I’m not part of the target demo anyway.

I will say though, that Norway has the smallest population of all countries with a Skam, and their ig accounts are the most followed across the board. There are some cases like the Eskild, the Elias Bakkoush or the Yousef characters, that didn’t really have active igs, so their remake counterparts have more followers, but that’s about it.

There’s also that NRK advised the remake teams not to promote their shows, and instead let the existing fandom and teens discover it on their own. That was the strategy NRK followed with Skam, but the issue is that Norwegian teens already had knowledge of shows like these. They’d even grown up with the Jenter characters and had aged out of that age bracket, so of course they found Skam easily and were interested in it. Some remake teams chose to follow the instructions and other teams didn’t. In general, the teams that promoted early and heavily had larger viewerships that those that didn’t. (I can discussion promotion strategies but it’s kind of beside the point in this ask lol.)

My impression about the popularity of the remakes in their own countries, and again this is just my impression and I could be wrong, since I don’t live there:

Skam NL is largely unknown in the Netherlands, mostly because it wasn’t promoted at all. I’d even say NL was pretty much viewed only by existing Skams fans.

Skam Austin had something of a following, but it averaged 300K people per episode, in a country of 328 million people. I will say FB did try to promote the show in its own way. The problem is that there’s so much scripted TV in the US market already competing for teens’ attention, and they should’ve promoted the shit out of the show. Austin wasn’t well known at all in the US.

My impression is that Skam Italia was both really well known in Italy and highly profitable. I feel like it was cancelled because timvision didn’t want to pay for a season about a Muslim girl, or didn’t think people would watch it. Once people protested and Netflix Italia reiterated their willingness to produce the season, they were happy to “uncancel” the show and afaik, their Sana season got good views.

Otoh, my impression is that Skam France does have a small local following, but it’s mostly (highly) popular abroad. And I’m really just talking about Lucas L’s season, which was so popular in South Korea that an event organizer actually held a con with the Skam France cast over there. I’m basing this on the fact that Lucas and Eliott have well over 100K followers, but every other character hasn’t reached 50K.

People have written a lot about wtFOCK being very popular with Flemish teens. It seems to be popular enough (wtfock was the most popular google search in Belgium in 2019? I think??), and I think it’s telling that Zoë is still the most followed character on ig. I would say it pretty much means that evak fandom turned its back on wtfock, because generally the Isak becomes the most followed character after his season airs. So based on this, I would say wtfock is more popular in Belgium than outside of Belgium... But not like such a hit that it would make the actors household names or anything (none of the actors are verified on ig).

IN MY OPINION... Skam España did the best out of any Skam remake locally. Their igs have the most followers overall, and not just Cris and Joana. Several characters, including Eva, Lucas R, Nora and Alejandro all broke 100k followers. A furniture store put out an ad with Cris and Joana lookalikes. A good amount of the actors are verified on ig, and many have already gone on to be cast in other projects (unlike the Austin or NL casts). I do have a couple buts. 1) Spanish is one of the most widely spoken languages in the world, and I think eskam benefited from a Latin American audience, which can’t be considered local. 2) Even though it did fairly well on youtube as a free show, I think ultimately eskam was an underperformer for Movistar. The goal was obviously to get people to subscribe to the service and access the extra content, and my guess is that this didn’t happen, because the seasons only got shorter and shorter as time went on. So, it was popular locally and internationally, but it wasn’t profitable like Skam Italia was. 

As for Druck. Imo Druck isn’t all that popular locally (though BRAVO, a teen magazine, has given them some attention here and there, suggesting it’s on teens’ radars kind of? idk). But I also think that, at this point, it’s by design. Funk didn’t really promote Hanna’s season, and as such it didn’t have a lot of views. But then they chose not just to promote Mia’s season on youtube and instagram, but to drop the weekly episode on TV. I think that’s the reason Mia’s season is still the most watched to this day tbh. The thing is, if the Druck team wanted, they could do seasons upon seasons of cis white blonde blue-eyed girls falling in love with the resident cis white bad boy, enemies to lovers, and several scenes of the leads making out, being naked in a bathtub, and so on and so forth. It would clearly do well. However, they chose to focus on underrepresented minorities and narratives, and at this point it seems like they’re okay with not being really well known locally, as long as they get enough viewers to justify making more seasons. Druck is one show where I feel like they could be more popular if they wanted, but they have decided they’re good like this.

[themollyjay]

The Myths of Forced Diversity and Virtue Signaling.

In my novel Mail Order Bride, the three main characters are a lesbian and two agendered aliens.  In my novel Scatter, the main character is a lesbian, the love interest is a pansexual alien, and the major side characters include a half Cuban, half black Dominican lesbian, a Chinese Dragon, a New York born Jewish Dragon, and a Transgender Welsh Dragon.  In my novel The Master of Puppets, the Main Characters are a lesbian shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborg and a half black, half Japanese lesbian.  The major side characters include three gender fluid shapeshifting reptilian alien cyborgs, and a pansexual human.  In my novel Transistor, the main character is a Trans Lesbian, the love interest is a Half human/Half Angel non-observant Ethiopian Jew, and the major side characters include a Transgender Welsh Dragon (the same one from Scatter), a Transgender woman, a Latino Lesbian, an autistic man, three Middle Eastern Arch Angels, and a hive mind AI with literally hundreds of genders.  In my novel The Inevitable singularity, one of the main characters is a lesbian, another has a less clearly defined sexuality but she is definitely in love with the lesbian, and the third is functionally asexual due to a vow of chastity she takes very seriously.  The major side characters include a straight guy from a social class similar to the Dalit (commonly known as untouchables) in India, a bisexual woman, a man who is from a race of genetically modified human/frog hybrids, and a woman from a race of genetically modified humans who are bred and sold as indentured sex workers.

Why am I bringing all of this up?  Well, first, because it’s kind of cool to look at the list of different characters I’ve created, but mostly because it connects to what I want to talk about today, which should be obvious from the title of the essay.  The concepts of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’.

For those who aren’t familiar with these terms, they’re very closely related concepts.  ‘Forced Diversity’ is the idea that characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are only ever included in a story because of outside pressure from some group (usually called Social Justice Warriors, or The Woke Brigade or something similar) to meet some nebulous political agenda.  The caveat to this is, of course, that you can have a women/women present as long as they are hot, don’t make any major contributions to the resolution of the plot, and the hero/heroes get to fuck them before the end of the story. ‘Virtue Signaling’, according to Wikipedia, is a pejorative neologism for the expression of a disingenuous moral viewpoint with the intent of communicating good character.

The basic argument is that Forced Diversity is a form of virtue signaling.  That no one would ever write characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males because they want to.  They only do it to please the evil SJW’s who are somehow both so powerful that they force everybody to conform to their desires, yet so irrelevant that catering to them dooms any creative project to financial failure via the infamous ‘go woke, go broke’ rule.

What the people who push this idea of Forced Diversity tend to forget is that we exist at a point in time when creators actually have more creative freedom than are any other people in history.  Comic writers can throw up a website and publish their work as a webcomic without having to go through Marvel, DC or one of the other big names, or get a place in the dying realm of the news paper comics page.  Novelists can self-publish with fairly little upfront costs, musicians can use places like YouTube and Soundcloud to get their work out without having to worry about music publishers.  Artists can hock their work on twitter and tumblr and a dozen other places. Podcasts are relatively cheap to make, which has opened up a resurgence in audio dramas.  Even the barrier to entry for live action drama is ridiculously low.

So, in a world where creators have more freedom than ever before, why would they choose to people their stories with characters they don’t want there?  The answer, of course, is that they wouldn’t.  Authors, comic creators, indie film creators and so on aren’t putting diverse characters into their stories because they are being forced to. They’re putting diverse characters into their stories because they want to.  Creators want to tell stories about someone other than the generically handsome hypermasculine cisgendered heterosexual white males that have been the protagonists of so many stories over the years that we’ve choking on it. A lot of times, creators want to tell stories about people like themselves.  Black creators want to tell stories about the black experience. Queer creators want to tell stories about the queer experience.

I’m an autistic, mentally ill trans feminine abuse survivor.  Every day, I get up and I struggle with PTSD, with an eating disorder, with severe body dysmorphia, with anxiety and depression and just the reality of being autistic and transgender.  I deal with the fact that the religious community I grew up in views me as an abomination, and genuinely believes I’m going to spend eternity burning in hell.  I deal with the fact that people I’ve known for decades, even members of my own family, regularly vote for politician who publicly state that they want to strip me of my civil rights because I’m queer.  I’m part of a community that experiences a disproportionately high murder and suicide rate.  I’ve spent multiple years of my life deep in suicidal depression, and to this day, I still don’t trust myself around guns.

As a creator, I want to talk about those issues.  I want to deal with my life experiences.  I want to create characters that embody and express aspects of my lived experience and my day-to-day reality.  No one is forcing me to put diversity into my books.  I try to include Jewish characters as often as I can because there have been a number of important Jewish people in my life.  I include queer people because I’m queer and the vast majority of friends I interact with on a regular basis are queer.  I include people with mental illnesses and trauma because I am mentally ill and have trauma, and I know a lot of people with mental illnesses and trauma.  My work may be full of fantastical elements, aliens and dragons and angels and superheroes and magic and ultra-high technology and AI’s and talking cats and robot dogs and shape shifters and telepaths and all sorts of other things, but at the core of the stories is my own lived experience, and neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males are vanishingly rare in that experience.

Now, I can hear the comments already.  The ‘okay, maybe that’s true for individual creators, but what about corporate artwork?’.   Maybe not in those exact words, but you get the idea.

The thought here is that corporations are bowing to social pressure to include characters who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males, and that is somehow bad. But here’s the thing. Corporations are going to chase the dollars.  They aren’t bowing to social pressure.  There’s no one holding a gun to some executive’s head saying, “You must have this many diversity tokens in every script.”  What is happening is that corporations are starting to clue into the fact that people who aren’t neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white males have money.  They are putting black characters in their shows and movies because black people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting queer people in shows and movies because queer people watch shows and spend money on movies.  They are putting women in shows and movies because women watch shows and spend money on movies.

No one is forcing these companies to do this.  They are choosing to do it, the same way individual creators are choosing to do it.  In the companies’ cases the choices are made for different reasons.  It’s not because they are necessarily passionate about telling stories about a particular experience, but because they want to create art to be consumed by the largest audience possible, which means that they have to expand their audience beyond the neurotypical cisgendered heterosexual white male by including characters from outside of that demographic.

And the reality is, the cries of ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ almost always come from within that demographic.  Note the almost.  There are a scattering of individuals from outside that demographic which do subscribe to the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ myths, but that is a whole other essay.  However, within that demographic, lot of the people who cry about ‘forced diversity’ see media and content as a Zero-Sum game.  The more that’s created for other people, the less that is created for them.

In a way, they’re right. There are only so many slots for TV shows each week, there are only so many theaters, only so much space on comic bookshelves and so on.  But at the end of the day, its literally impossible for them to consume all the content that’s being produced anyway.  So, while there is, theoretically less content for them to consume, as a practical matter it’s a bit like someone who is a meat eater going to a buffet with two hundred items, and then throwing a tantrum because five of the items happen to be vegan.

The worst part is, if they could let go of how wound up they are about the ‘forced diversity’ and ‘virtue signaling’ they could probably enjoy the content that’s produced for people other than them.  I mean, I’m a pasty ass white girl, and I loved Black Panther.

So, to wrap out, creators, make what you want to make, and ignore anyone who cries about forced diversity or virtue signaling.  And to people who are complaining about forced diversity and virtue signaling, I want to go back to the buffet metaphor.  You need to relax.  Even if there are a few vegan options on the buffet, you can still get your medium rare steak, or your chicken teriyaki or whatever it is you want.  Or, maybe, just maybe, you could give the falafel a try. That shit is delicious.

[naerysthelonesome]

Time spent together

Part 6:

The narrator returns

Apollo and Lit are very, very close to Artemis’ place now. Apollo looks splotchy and nervous. I don’t like it. Clashes too much with his outfit. Lit, on the other hand looks cool and calm. That’s weird. Probably a façade.

Apollo finally makes a turn, and pulls into a driveway in this really nice neighborhood. I’d consider living here, if I could… live, you know? He parks the car and just sits there, like an idiot. I’m sure Lit notices because he punches Apollo lightly in the arm, and steps out. Apollo follows soon after, and Lit moves to the backseat to get his bag, but the former flaps at his arms in impatience. Boi does he not look the epitome of grace today.

Lit shoots him a look, and shoulders his bag anyway.

They both make their way to the front door of the pretty, baby blue house. It looks quaint, and cozy, and not really someplace I’d imagine Apollo’s cool sister Artemis living, but maybe she’s into the whole cottagecore thing. I wouldn’t know. I’m supposed to keep focused on Apollo and Lit.

Speaking of, Apollo is trying to look collected and nonchalant as he knocks on the door, but it’s (incredibly) clear that he isn’t. Lit inches just a little bit closer, trying to offer his support, but of course Apollo doesn’t notice. At least not at first. Then Lit’s hand brushes against his own, and, I kid you not, his eyes spark. His breath hitches in his chest, and he goes completely still. Simp.

The door bangs open to reveal a silver woman. No seriously, she’s silvery all over. Her hair and eyebrows have been dyed a most mesmerizing silvery-white, her skin glows in places (silver highlighter methinks), and all the delicate silver jewelry over the lacy, dark green tank top and gray shorts makes her look ethereal and fairylike. DAMN she is really taking the Artemis thing seriously.

“Big brother!”

“We’re twins, and you’re unoriginal”, Apollo says resignedly. Like he’s had this exact conversation before. He probably has. Artemis simply smiles.

“Aw don’t be like that!”

She turns toward Lit, who’s been standing there awkwardly, and offers him her hand. Palm facing down, snowy white fingers curled, like she expects him to kiss it.

Lit looks like he’s visibly restraining himself from turning to Apollo in bewilderment.

“Aren’t you going to take my hand?” Artemis asks, with a fake pout.

Lit reaches out and takes it, completely unsure of what to do next. He just holds it like it’s an unwanted bug someone’s placed in his hand.

“Must all your dates be so rude, Apollo?” Artemis questions, with a huff.

“Must you always act like a twat that doesn’t know what century it is, Artemis?” he replies, turning to Lit. “She’s just playing with you”.

Artemis laughs, and walks away. It’s a normal laugh, no tinkling wind chimes, or tumbling rivers. I don’t even know if that’s humanly possible. Stephanie must have been on something.

“Something tells me it’s best if I play along”, Lit says, following Apollo through the door.

“Definitely. Oh, and leave your shoes here.”

Two of the girls Artemis lives with are insanely pretty. (But then, all humans look insanely pretty to me… oh to have a physical form). And they look like polar opposites. The bigger one is wearing a flowy summer dress that perfectly complements her wheatish skin, her pink and brown hair in a neatly curled high pony, winged eyeliner on point. The other one has her orange-red hair hanging about her face, some of it still fixed in the messiest messy bun I’ve ever seen. She stays seated on the sofa, in her dull grey sweats, and simply turns to wave at the boys when they walk in, eyes still on the tv.

“Hi! I’m Arson”, says they pink-haired one, “And that’s Claire. She’s normally the active one, but it’s shark week so she’ll just lie there like that all day, useless”. She (they?) swiftly catches they pillow that’s been chucked at them, and grins. “Oh and Thalia’ll be out in a sec”.

“Your name’s Arson?” Lit asks, politely trying not to sound shocked or confused.

“Heh yeah. Of all the non-binary names someone like me could have picked, right?” They say, with a short laugh. “It was a close call between this, and Twig.”

“Her pronouns are she and they, btw”, Apollo says walking up from where he’d been talking to his sister, to envelop Arson in a hug, “Hey Ari!”

“Ah jeez. The hugging still isn’t over?” A raven haired girl says, walking into the now slightly crowded living room. “Well I’m Thalia. Do no touch me”. That last part was spit at Apollo. Her tone is menacing, but her little smirk shows otherwise.

“Hey Thalia”, Apollo says, reaching over to pat the red-head, Claire, on the shoulder, and ruffle her already ruffled hair. Please somebody comb it already!

“This is Lit, Apollo’s newest fling”, Artemis says, gesturing to the boy who looks like he can’t decide whether he wants to live here, or run away. He gives the room a shy smile. (Aww)

“Great! Now that we all know each other,” Get out of Pridelands? Sorry sorry. Just couldn’t miss out the opportunity to quote Lion King: Simba’s Pride. Artemis simply continues on with something about lunch and rotisserie chicken.

It’s been quite an uneventful couple hours, but oh, how could that possibly last? In a room full of people, half with names with mythological roots, and the one named after a crime? There’s bound to be some drama. No, calm down, there isn’t going to be a fire. Unless it’s Lit’s heart flaming for Apollo, or vice versa. ANYWAY I’m going way off script.

“So Lit, how’d you guys meet?” Claire asks around a mouthful of veggies, feet nestled comfortably on Arson’s lap. I’m starting to think they might be more than friends, but what do I know?

“Oh we had to do a project together. Obviously, we’d seen each other around before then, but yeah… that’s the first time we really interacted”, Lit answered, awkwardly trailing off at end, as if he thought he’d said to much. Seriously Lit? That was barely anything.

“And how long ago was that?” Arson asked.

“Uh-”

“About a month ago”, Apollo supplied, lacing his fingers through Lit’s, their hands clearly visible from the sofa they were seated on.

Lit’s adam’s apple bobbed, and he shifted slightly in his seat, but managed to keep calm, even lifting their conjoined hands into his lap.

“Huh. How long have you guys been together, then?” Thalia asked, staring to look interested.

“A couple weeks.” Apollo’s voice was calm, at startling odds with the red of his face.

“Oh?” Artemis said finally, her eyes moving from their linked hands, to Apollo’s face. “You move awfully fast brother.”

“Well, we both wanted it”, Lit tried to cut in. The sudden tension between the twins is so thick, even oblivious Lit notices.

Artemis ignores him and continues, “Don’t you remember what happened last time you moved this quickly?”

“Artemis, please”, Apollo says, starting to sound irritated, “You wanted me to stop fucking around, and I did. You seem to have a problem with everything I do.”

“Oh is that why you’re dating him? Because of me?” Oh shit… we’re getting awfully close to the truth now, huh?

“No. No, of course not”, Apollo lies quietly. Lit manages to discreetly untangle their fingers and pull away, looking a little hurt. “I like Lit”. So not all lies then? If only Lit knew that, then he’d stop looking like a kicked puppy.

“Just make sure he isn’t another Daphne”, Artemis says, a challenging look in her eyes.

“That was a mistake and you know it! When are you going to stop bringing it up?” Apollo spits angrily, before he gets up and walks out the front door.

Lit sits there in shock for a second, before deciding that an angry Apollo was easier to deal with that a room full of upset and curious people, and follows behind him. Damnit! I wanted to stay behind and listen to the gossip. Would you mind terribly if I did that?

Yea, I suppose you would.

Lit is leaning against the wall of the house, hands in his pockets, while Apollo leans over the porch railing, and stares at his car.

“So who’s Daphne?”

Apollo sighs in defeat, before saying, “My ex. One of my only two exes”. Then he turns around before almost hastily adding, “Exes being people I’ve actually dated, that is. Not just people I’ve slept with”.

“Of course. Of course you still care about your reputation as a fuckboy”, Lit says, sounding disappointed more than anything else. Look, I’m a sucker for drama, but what the hell is this?! I don’t like this.

“What? No”. Apollo sounds... scared? “No I’m just trying to be as clear as possible.”

Lit doesn’t say anything.

“Besides, why are you even mad? It’s not like we’re actually dating”.

“No.” Lit whispers, “We’re not”.

“Hey”, Apollo pleads, “I can’t handle you being mad at me too, Lit. I’m sorry you got dragged into this shit”.

Lit waves the apology away. “Why is Artemis so mad about Daphne?” If I were even a little less intuitive, I would’ve missed the hopeful tone of that question.

“Oh. Um- Daphne was one of Artemis’ best friends. That’s how we got close in the first place. Sometime last year, we started seeing each other, and eventually became official. We’d moved really quickly, and honestly didn’t have much in common except Artemis” And divinely good looks, if Apollo’s many flings are anything to go by. “But everything went great, nonetheless. Better than great, even. I started to think I loved her. Until it didn’t. Around the three month mark, things started to go sour. We’d disagree about pretty much everything, and we’d fight and argue all the time. Then it started to get monotonous and boring and we were just going through the motions. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I broke up with her, and…” That’s the one place he hesitates. “Left. I just left for college, and Artemis had to deal with Daphne, who apparently took it hard. I didn’t speak to her at all until just a few months ago.

We’re okay now, by the way. She says that I’m a better friend that boyfriend, and I can’t say I disagree. Lucky for you that we’re just faking it, right?” I notice the slight hitch in his voice, but Lit apparently doesn’t. He lets out a dry chuckle. “Artemis, on the other hand, is still obviously pissed. I don’t blame her. She said that Daphne only dated me at all because I seduced her. At first, I thought that was ridiculous, but if all the hoes on campus are anything to go by, it seems that was entirely possible”, he finishes bitterly. Well... that was quite a speech.

“I don’t know whether to be impressed or exasperated by your unwavering level of self-confidence”, Lit says tiredly, after a brief pause. “Well that wasn’t as bad as I expected”.

“Yea, Artemis has been known to overreact”.

“I think her reaction was warranted”. Lit himself looks surprised at having defended Artemis.

“Maybe it was”, Apollo amends, eager to get back on Lit’s good side, I suppose. “You’re not still mad, are you?”

“I’m not mad at you, no” comes the curt reply, suggesting that he is still mad at something. This whole situation, probably. This trip was supposed to be romantic for God’s sake!

“Good, because we have a little party to attend this evening”.

[taxicabinmemphis]

“You deserve to be treated like the goddess that you are.”  Virgil to Roman to counteract the Roman angst

I’m changing goddess to royalty because roman’s a prince and it makes sense haha sorry not really sorry

(food tw) could be read platonic or pre-romantic

Roman rose into his room, immediately putting his head in his hands. He was incredibly exhausted from the long day he spent brainstorming ideas and creating a video script for Thomas. He was grateful to finally be back in the comfort of his room.

He rubbed at his eyes; in Roman's personal opinion, the creative side didn't get enough sleep for the tasks he completed that day. This only caused him to be more exhausted. It was already draining to be working nonstop all day.

Roman stood almost still in the middle of his room for two minutes. He still needed to work tomorrow, but his future self would be incredibly grateful if he already got a head start.

Roman itched to change out of his princely attire and into some lighter, less warm clothes. But had yet to eat dinner so he had to keep looking his best.

What if you took a one hour break?

Roman immediately shook his head, dismissing the thought. He needed to start working on the short video for the following week. He couldn't afford a break, not even one shorter than an hour.

Roman sighed, exhaustion showing clearly in his face and shoulders. He massaged his temples, mentally preparing himself to get back to work.

A knock sounded at Roman's door. Roman tore his head from his hands and walked towards the door slowly, curious as to who it could possibly be at this hour.

He opened the door to find a nervous Virgil, who was shifting his weight between his feet as he waited for Roman. Virgil looked to the prince as soon as he registered Roman's presence.

"Virgil," Roman greeted curiously. "Forgive me, but what are you doing here? You rarely visit me, especially at this hour."

Virgil opened his mouth to reply, then but his lip. He frowned, brainstorming the best way to say what was on his mind.

"Well?"

"You weren't at dinner, Princey. Or breakfast. Or lunch. You've been helping Thomas all day, and when you aren't with him, you're working. Have you eaten?"

Roman's eyes widened in slight surprise. "Is it already dinner time?"

"It's past dinner, Roman."

Roman’s eyes widened further. He was going to make an exclamation over this, but decided against it. “Oh.”

Virgil crossed his arms and gave him a criticizing stare. “Patton missed you. I was worried.”

“I’m sorry. I was just working,” Roman apologized quietly. “You shouldn’t worry about me.”

Virgil’s arms dropped. “I’m literally Anxiety.”

Roman chuckled before correcting himself. “You shouldn’t worry about me any more than usual.”

Virgil went to speak again, contemplating whether or not to say what he had on his mind. “I...” he took a deep breath, “...I can’t help it.”

Roman frowned. “What?”

Virgil sighed. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, of course!” Roman said hurriedly, stepping back so Virgil could enter his room. “I’m sorry I kept you out, letting you in slipped my mind. I didn’t mean to be rude. Sorry.”

“Hey, Princey, it’s okay,” Virgil replied immediately, a bit startled by Roman’s lengthy and unnecessary apology. “You’re fine.”

“Sorry, Virge, I’m just a bit tired. It’s getting a bit late, isn’t it?”

Virgil nodded. “No need to apologize. And yes, dinner just ended so it’s not like it’s early.”

“What did you mean earlier?”

Virgil exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “You...you’ve been worrying me lately, to put it lightly.”

Roman nearly choked on air. “Lightly?”

Virgil shrugged. “You’ve been working yourself past your limits. I haven’t seen you all day. You’re hardly eating. I don’t know how much water your drinking but dollars to donuts it isn’t nearly enough. Same goes for sleep. I did see your room light on at four a.m. two nights ago while I was going water in the middle of the night. That deeply worried me, but I was too tired to do anything right then.”

“Things have just stacked up a bit, Virgil. I have a lot of stuff to do, especially this week. Surely you understand,” Roman said, trying to excuse his actions.

“The work won’t be as good if you don’t at least do the bare minimum to take care of yourself,” Virgil pointed out. He paused for a moment. “But it’s not the work that matters.”

“It def-”

“No, it’s not,” Virgil interrupted. He put a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “Ultimately, if we lose our creativity to one project, we’ll never be able to do more projects. Or, at least, not as well as you could’ve. We can’t have you burn out.”

“So sacrificing one project for all the rest in the future is what you’re suggesting? How do you know that will work?”

“I don’t. And frankly, I don’t care,” Virgil said honestly. “I couldn’t care less about the concept of the work. All that matters to me is people being satisfied with what we put into the world. I have no attachment to creating content. However, in this situation, the work is what you care about. It’s all that matters to you.”

Roman nodded solemnly. Virgil’s disinterest to what Roman created didn’t surprise him. “It is. But if you don’t really care much about what I create, then why do you care so much right now? Why are you so worried?”

“I want what we put out to be good,” Virgil said, before pausing and then letting out a small laugh. “But, ultimately, what matters to me in this situation is you.”

Roman looked up at him, shock ghosting across his face.

“Don’t look so surprised, Princey,” Virgil teased. “I care about you. While I don’t have an attachment to creating content, I have an attachment to you.”

“You what-”

“Don’t make me sound more sappy then I intend to,” Virgil interjected. “All I’m saying is that you are important to Thomas, and by extension, important to me. If we don’t have you, what will we do? Who will come up with brilliant ideas? Who will go on Disney marathons with me? I need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.” Virgil held Roman’s chin and stared him in the eyes. “So, Sir Sing-A-Lot, have you been taking care of yourself?”

Roman stared at Virgil for a long second, processing what Virgil said and wondering whether or not he could lie and make his neglection of self-care practices seem better than it was.

“Ye-”

Virgil gave him a scolding look.

Roman broke eye contact and whispered “no” in a small, quiet voice.

Virgil gave him a small nod, releasing his chin. “Alright. You have admitted it. Now, we need to get you some dinner and then some rest.”

“But the wor-”

“Shut up,” Virgil said quickly. “No more work for you tonight.”

“But Virgi-”

“I know you’re thinking you’ll be better off if you work now, that you’ll be happy with yourself in the future, but you won’t. You likely won’t notice the difference. But taking a break will noticeably affect you. You will thank yourself for taking a break later.”

Roman nodded, knowing he had no choice but to agree.

“So tonight, we will eat pizza, watch your current favorite show or a movie while eating ice cream, then we’ll get you to bed at a healthy time,” Virgil stated firmly. “Then, tomorrow, I can prepare you a nice hot bath with rose water in it or whatever, and then after you can work until lunch. After that, we are taking the rest of the day for self care or relaxing stuff.”

Roman was shocked Virgil would do all that for him, but also thought he needed to do work the next afternoon. “But I need to work in the-”

“No,” Virgil disagreed. “You don’t. You’ve done all you need to for today and most for tomorrow and the next. I checked. If you really want more time I can draw you the bath after lunch, but you seriously need to have a self care day.”

“But-”

“I am putting my foot down,” Virgil said, stomping on the floor for emphasis.

Roman stopped talking, looking at Virgil shyly for a few seconds. “What kind of self care, relaxing stuff?” Roman asked quietly.

“Whatever activities you prefer. This is for you,” Virgil said kindly. “But not work. None of that. If you want, we could do manicures, face masks, makeovers, whatever stuff you like.”

Roman couldn’t believe it. “And we’ll do it, together?”

“Oh, um,” Virgil looked a small bit frantic for a second, “only if you want me around. I don’t have to be; if you’d rather-”

“No,” Roman interrupted. “I’m just surprised you’re willing to go to all this effort for me. It just...doesn’t make sense. I’m supposed to work for us, not use up your precious time for my mental health. I don’t deserv-”

“You’re a prince, Roman,” Virgil said sincerely. “You deserve to be treated like the royalty that you are.”

Roman’s protests stopped and he was speechless. He never thought someone as wonderful as Virgil could care about him, especially considering their past. But somehow, Virgil did care. Roman could only relish it while it lasted.

“Where would you like to eat and watch TV?” Virgil asked. “We could go to the living room.”

“Can we stay here, at least for tonight?” Roman asked.

Virgil smiled and took Roman’s arms and led him to his bed. He snapped his fingers, a pizza box appearing on Roman’s nightstand. With a snap of his own fingers, Roman made a TV appear in front of his bed. He and Virgil got plates and sat on Roman’s bed. Roman put on a Disney movie and started eating his pizza.

“This movie’s alright, right?” Roman asked, wanting to make sure he wasn’t boring Virgil.

“What I think of it doesn’t matter,” Virgil said with a small smile, “but yes, it is alright.”

Eventually, the movie ended and they finished their pizza. Virgil made two pints of ice cream appear, one strawberry and another chocolate. Roman immediately took the strawberry.

“Someone hasn’t had ice cream in a while,” Virgil mused.

Roman gave him a playful glare. “Shut up.”

Virgil chuckled and put on Aladdin, knowing Roman loved that movie. Roman grinned when it came on and lied back in the pillows.

About halfway through the movie, a now very tired Roman reached out to Virgil’s arm. He got the anxious side to turn around.

“What is it?”

“Can we...” Roman started nervously.

“What?”

“...Cuddle?” he asked sheepishly.

Virgil laughed and leaned back, putting an arm around Roman. Roman snuggled into Virgil’s side.

By the end of the movie, Roman was fast asleep.

~

Sorry this was so late! School and lack of sleep are evil demons that inhibit my writing. Hope you liked it!

[izupie]

Ask meme! 2, 16, and 21!

aaa thank you for the questions from these writers asks!! <3 <3

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

ahhh - this is definitely the werewolf thing I was talking about in one of my previous answers.  

I just want to write that the werewolf is in love but the person they’re in love with doesn’t know they’re a werewolf, and then BAM we get the REVEAL. 

And then I get the aftermath of that too - which will be some delicious angst and a cute moment petting animal ears because don’t tell me anyone would be able to resist cute animal ears okay. And I have plans for even more angst and just, I really can’t wait to get into the meat of that story. All this set up and I’m neeeaarrlllyyy there.

But also, I kind of want to write that time travelling thing I wrote about before too. Like, I’m really really considering it now even though I feel like that would be an intensely big project to commit to.... I’d like to write time travel shenanigans.

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

Well anyone who is still following me will know I did a fandom 360 and went from My Hero Academia, with its shonen anime highschool superhero hijinks, to IT, with its 80s aesthetic of a group of misfit kids going to beat up a child eating space clown. (and then their return 27 years later, still absolute disasters, going to bully the same clown.)

I couldn’t have jumped from two fandoms more different from each other.

And it’s a weird story how I got there, but it happened and here I am I guess

The biggest problem, that probably nobody even knows is a thing unless you’ve jumped from an anime like MHA to a ‘real’ setting of a live action fandom, is that the way you have to describe actions and write dialogue has to change or it just doesn’t read right.

In anime they often say each others names a lot. Don’t know why - must be a Japanese thing. But if you pay attention, especially in the sub, don’t know if they change it for the dub, they’ll say the name of the person they’re talking to a lot. Seriously - google it ! It’s just, a thing in anime.

But in American movies and such, that doesn’t happen. So characters constantly repeating names becomes a habit in my head while writing dialogue and trying to break myself out of that habit is actually harder than you’d think. I have to comb back through and delete out any times that I’ve repeated a name for no reason other than if this was anime they’d have said it there.

ugh

Also the movements and expressions in anime are very exaggerated - because it’s animated, and then when you move to a ‘real’ kind of fandom you realise that these ways of describing how a character moves or expresses is too cartoonish for ‘real life’. 

Basically writing fanfiction for an over the top shonen anime for three years broke the way I write in general. Going back to a real setting was a painful adjustment that I feel like I’m still in the progress of getting it right a whole year after switching fandoms. rip

also, I tried writing in present tense for the first time ever last year and that was fun! Difficult, because I’m so used to writing in the past tense, but fun. 

I like to challenge myself sometimes!

I’ve done really conversational kind of narrative voices, really impersonal ones, being really flowery, being really simple, I just like to mix it up every so often.

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Beep Beep Beep would make such a great cheesy Hallmark Movie - a 90 minute made-for-tv load of fluff. Tropes everywhere! Romantic leads that you know are going to get together as soon as they meet! The overdramatic angst! The way it all comes together at the end! The sort of movie my mum would watch but I’d scoff at and be like ‘soooo predictable’. Love it. someone tell a studio who likes to make these things that I have a script for them

My current wip [barks] would be such a great teen TV show - like Vampire Diaries or Teen Wolf. I injected those kinds of shows into my veins when I was a teenager. Supernatural romance? SIGN ME UP. Except this one would finally be set where the characters are all college ages, so you can actually get twenty-something actors to play twenty-something characters. It always cracks me up when they got actors in their twenties to play highschool kids.

There’d be an edgy theme song, and loads of cool practical makeup and effects, because that’s the stuff that holds up over the years, not the hokey cgi. Just use cgi to enhance practical effects pls. Or you know, I guess, when you can’t have people actually turning into wolves practically, then you gotta throw out the cgi.

but yeah, all the relationship melodrama and cool supernatural creatures would be so cool in a tv show.

oh! and how cool would it be to see one of my oneshots as a webcomic though?? (only cool to you, I hear yelled at me from the back of the audience) 

But okay, hand on heart, I am deadly 100% serious when I say that I have any and all fanart I have ever received from any of my stories saved in a folder. I open that folder sometimes and I think, somebody spent time making this because they were inspired by words that came out of my head. And it really makes me emotional. I mean, I’ve also commissioned some works based on my fics and those also mean the world to me - because the work, even paid work, is is still work and time and effort. Like, yes, there was money involved, but the artist still MADE this. They used their knowledge of their craft. It’s beautiful.

But yeah, fanart just hits me in this special place and seeing my ideas as a picture - a thing I can actually look at!!! - is the strangest coolest thing in the entire world.

[kinghoranshit]

Tell Me a Lie (NH) Ch 2

Word Count: 1,615

Warnings: swearing?

“Do you have any questions about anything we went over?” I asked as I closed the binder with a marker where we’d decided to stop for this session. After this I’d have to send an email to my manager with updated notes about our meeting. I was hoping it wouldn’t take too long since I needed to read the contract Niall sent me about the PR. 

Maya had a perky smile on her face. “I do not. Thank you so much, Lauren!”

“No problem, I’m happy to be working on this journey with you. I will see you soon to discuss more notes.”

“Talk soon, love.” She waved with the smile still present on her face before I hit on the call. 

We definitely went over the allotted time and I’d have to push back my other client’s appointment to tomorrow. It happened a lot more than I would like, but it was okay. Everything worked out. 

I finished my update email as thoroughly and fast as I could; it included the typed up version of my notes. Once I hit send, my eyes trailed to the email that Niall’s management sent me. I barely tapped the mousepad to open it, or breathed air as I skimmed the first initial part. Though, that wasn’t what I should’ve been anxious for; they were welcoming me to the team. I had to admit, it was bizarre I was considered a team member if I was his PR girlfriend. That didn’t settle right with me, but I knew I’d have to get over it to help my best friend out. 

Finally, I had the contract open in a different tab and actually thoroughly read these paragraphs. A lot of it was the regular legal statements and their management mission statement. What I would be getting in return and what I’d have to do were scripted at the end of it, which were the last two pages out of twenty.

I was required to be seen publicly with Niall a minimum of once a month, be present at all red carpet events during the time of this PR contract, attend a concert in every leg of his upcoming tour, promote all of his singles/albums on Instagram, and be open on social media without exposing any secrets. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone in my life that the relationship was fake, aside from any business partners. I couldn’t shit talk Modest!, Niall, or any of his ex bandmates. I was not allowed to date anyone while under this year long contract, which wasn’t much of a problem for me at the moment.

Their payment was all my debts would be paid in full and marketing support for all my self-published works during the duration of our PR. That included whatever Niall would want to post on social media about them. 

It seemed all pretty self-explanatory to me, and with my current job the travel part shouldn’t be an issue. I would have to confirm with my main editorial manager that it was going to work though. Of course, I would have to finesse the truth a bit with them; they weren’t exactly business partners. 

As I sat back against my wooden chair, Skype began ringing me for a call. It was Niall. That wasn’t at all shocking. 

“What up, nerd?” I answered. 

He busted out a laugh. “Just wanted to call and see how you were doin. Get your thoughts on everything.” 

“I actually just finished reading the PR agreement and contract.”

“And?” He raised his eyebrows as he licked his lips in nerves. 

I smirked lightly. “I’ll do it. What they’re asking doesn’t seem overkill, and it’s a year. We can do that.” 

I noticed him sit down on his couch in his dim living room, which looked to only be lit by the TV; it was probably golf. “Yeah?” 

“Yes.”

He yelled something at the TV before he brought his attention back to our conversation. “You’re sure, Kelly?” 

“I’m positive, Nialler.” I laughed. He was adorable when he got distracted by sports or writing. It was one of the many things I loved about Niall; it never annoyed me. Well, okay, maybe sometimes. But there was nothing I could do about it, and I knew I wasn’t any better at times when I had a show on or suddenly got an idea for a piece. 

“You are seriously a lifesaver. This was the first time they let me find the girl. I promise to make it fun.” 

I cheesed. “With you, it’s already going to be fun. I wouldn’t have considered it otherwise. So I will get these papers digitally signed and sent. Then we can consider the first meet up place?”

“Yeah, yeah. Modest is thinking LA already. They called this morning.” 

“Sounds good.” I nodded. 

Niall looked at me curiously now. “Are you at all nervous? You know how the fandom is.” 

“You mean how every fandom is.” I smirked. “There’s always going to be the toxic side. If you’re looking for it, you’ll find it, but I’m not… I know there’s other things such as safety involved, but under this contract Modest is obligated to give me my own security. I will own them up to that end if I need to.” 

“I hope you won’t when you’re alone.” His eyes were so soft, almost like I could reach out and touch powdered snow. It would be the perfect snow too. It wouldn’t melt, turning into water… It would stay fluffy and sparkly. 

I couldn’t hold back the same feeling he had. I didn’t want safety to become such a concern that I'd need security 24/7. There was no sense in worrying about it. I was someone to just take the hits when they came and get back up afterwards. Which had both it’s good and bad aspects.

I shook my head. “I’m reassuring you now that everything will be okay. I better get the agreement and contract back to Modest.”

He only nodded, blinking his eyes a couple times. “Talk soon, Kelly.” 

“You too, Horan.” 

I knew that this was a tricky road we were about to drive, but we were armed with better defenses. We were adults and could make our own decisions. I knew that this would be more beneficial than harmful. 

***

I waited somewhat patiently for Charlotte to answer the Skype call. I decided I would tell Charlotte about what was going on since she was the co-author of the trilogy Niall would be promoting. It was only fair she knew that the relationship wasn’t real. As for the rest of my friends and family, they wouldn’t know. Niall and I have been friends for years, it would seem pretty believable that we naturally had feelings grow for each other.  

Finally, she answered and her freckled face popped up. “What is it you need to tell me, Laur?”

Seeing her eager face made me actually nervous to lay it all out on her. But I took a deep breath and did it. It needed to be done. There was no beating around the bush. 

“Niall asked me to be his PR girlfriend and I’m gonna do it. I know the risks of this, but he needs my help. They’re going to benefit us by promoting the Stone Cold trilogy. You’re the only person who knows that the relationship is fake, no one else will know that. They can’t.”

Her eyes went wide and she gasped. “Are you serious?”

I nodded. “Completely.”

“Wow, that is crazy… Awesome! You’re about to live the dream.”

I snorted. “Oh for sure. But this means we should get the final version of Stone Cold done as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, of course! This is so exciting!” she gushed, smooshing her cheeks together. 

“It is. It really is.” I laughed, the sound radiating through her side, which caused her husband to peek his head into the camera lens. 

“Hey, Lauren!” He waved with a closed smile. 

I smirked and waved back. “Hey, Jeremy. How goes it?” 

He moved himself beside Charlotte, squeezing in close to her. “It goes well. How about you? How are your projects going?” 

He happened to be a head chief editor at a publishing firm in Chicago. He and I did the same work, but his load was definitely more than mine. He also had the task of looking over the other editors in his division to make sure their work was being done. I was glad to not have that sort of responsibility; even if the pay was more. 

I shrugged. “They’re going well. I’ve only got two at the moment, but once I finish with this one fantasy novel, they’re going to be giving me a memoir.” 

“Memoirs are all I have right now. Not the most exciting if I’m being honest, but it’s alright.” 

I chuckled under my breath. “I can get behind that. I’m definitely enjoying the fantasy and sci-fi right now. Oh, uhm, there is something else I wanted to tell you, J. I’m dating Niall, it’s been a secret for about a year now, but he’s finally ready to go public with it.” 

Jeremy’s smile made my heart tug at the lie. “That’s wonderful!” He lightly whacked Char’s shoulder. “I told you there was something going on. I’m good at reading that sort of thing.” 

“That you are,” I confirmed. That only stirred another weird sensation in me because he truly never was wrong about romantic feelings between two people. He called all of our friends' relationships, regardless if they worked out or not. I wasn't sure what that said about Niall and I then. 

Next: Ch 3

[Masterlist]

[fromthemouthofkings]

10 Favorite Characters

Thank you @wisteria-lodge​ for tagging me!!

1. Grand Admiral Thrawn (the Thrawn trilogy by Timothy Zahn)

I stan 1 (one) blue alien Sherlock Holmes

[image description: the cover of The Last Command by Timothy Zahn, showing Thrawn as a blue-skinned humanoid with blue-black hair and glowing red eyes, wearing a white Imperial uniform. end id]

So I’m specifically talking about the book character here; I have no idea what’s going on in the Star Wars TV shows. But Thrawn of the Star Wars Legends universe (and the newer canon book, Thrawn) is hands-down one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever seen. He’s brilliant, creating battle strategies by studying his opponents’ cultural art to understand their cultural psychology and look for weaknesses in their thinking. And despite being a morally grey character, he’s not unduly arrogant and is actually extremely likeable--he has to work hard to get into the Imperial command structure that heavily discriminates against non-humans, his motivation is the best interest of his people, the Chiss, and he is always willing to explain his thinking to his close allies and friends. And who else would respond to being stabbed by smiling and saying, “But it was so artistically done?”

2. Beren (specifically, from Philosopher-At-Large’s script/screenplay adaptation of Tolkien’s story of Beren and Luthien, A Boy, A Girl, & A Dog: The Lay of Leithian Dramatic Script Project, which can be read in full here: https://rustbucket.net/leithian/index.html)

Do we not all want to yell at the gods about theodicy until they answer our questions to our satisfaction? I specifically pick Beren not from the original Silmarillion, as much as I love Tolkien’s work, but from Philosopher-At-Large’s script retelling, because A Boy, A Girl, & A Dog might just be my favorite work of literature of all time--fanwork, original fiction, or otherwise. I stumbled across it via a fanart of Beren on DeviantArt, like, six or seven years ago that referenced it, and my life has never been the same. It was hard to pick a favorite character, since literally all of the Script’s characters hold a special place in my heart, but I love Beren’s gentle, dry humor and his grim, determined, reckless stubbornness. His relationship with Luthien is of course the driving point of the story, but I thought that his relationships with Finrod and the other members of their company, and his backstory in Dorthonian and his interactions with the Valar were spectacularly done as well. This story is full of the grim determination to at least try and keep loving people, to keep throwing yourself at a problem and refuse to back down until you find a satisfactory solution, and Beren is right there at the heart of that, and I think that makes him pretty hopepunk.

3. Hamlet (Hamlet by William Shakespeare)

What is there to say about Hamlet that hasn’t already been said a thousand times by people significantly more learned and eloquent than me? I love him. He’s a genre-savvy protagonist trapped in a world where nothing! Fucking! Makes! Sense! My poor emo boy. I feel so much for him, being trapped in a situation where he needs to learn the truth in order to move forward and finally act, but there’s no way for him to get at the truth, so instead he just spirals further and further into fey, frustrated, erratic “madness.” Such a disaster bi. Definitely in love with his tired functional gay bf Horatio. Drama queen and Pretentious Asshole TM. In any decent modern au, he loves Hot Topic and gets all his clothes from there. I don’t even really do theater, but I’d love to have a chance to play him onstage.

4. James Dunworthy (the Oxford Time Travel series by Connie Willis)

The Oxford Time Travel series by Connie Willis ranges from hilarious (To Say Nothing of the Dog) to heartbreaking (Doomsday Book) and Mr. Dunworthy is right in the middle of all of it. For those who haven’t read it, the premise of the series is that time travel has been discovered, but we can’t use it to change the past, so instead it’s mainly just used by historians going back in time to study history, and Mr. Dunworthy is the head of the history department at Oxford University in the year 2060. He might be strict, but he has strong dad vibes, and, just, cares so much for all of his historians. He basically adopts Colin when Colin is stranded in Oxford over Christmas during an epidemic, he regularly puts himself in danger to look for lost historians, he helped invent time travel, and he knows that the point of studying the past is caring about the people who lived there. I want him to be my dad.

5. The 9th Doctor (Doctor Who)

Okay, I love 10 and 12 and 13 almost as much as I love 9, but 9 has to be my favorite Doctor. He was my first doctor, and what really got me hooked on the series was his kindness--hard-won and hard-clung to after the trauma of the time war. It isn’t always easy for him--the time war took everything away from him, and you can see how he’s tempted to be angry and bitter and harsh--but even so, he insists on helping people, on atoning for his mistakes, on nonviolence and using kindness and cleverness to fix things instead of violence and hate. He says, guns are bad and bananas are good, and every person is important, and when asked if he’s a coward or a killer, he says, “Coward. Any day.” And that philosophy, that choice, has left a deep impact on me.

[image description: gif of the 9th doctor saying “Who said you’re not important?” from New Who Season 1 episode 8, “Father’s Day.” end id]

6. Eliot Spencer (Leverage)

The whole premise of a group of thieves, criminals and con artists getting together to take down corrupt people in power is great, and Eliot is my favorite. He may have done some seriously bad shit in the past, but now he’s just devoted to taking care of the team, and particularly his hacker and his thief. I don’t know that he believes he’s worthy of their love, but he’s still somehow the most mature and emotionally stable member of the team; he knows how to control his anger and live alongside his regrets, and despite his grumbling, he dives headfirst into protecting the rest of the team and keeping them safe. Bonus points for being in an almost-canon ot3, and for the passion that he brings to his cooking. Also, I headcanon him as gray aro and transmasc, because I can.

[image description: gif of Eliot standing back-to-back with Parker and Hardison. end id]

7. Jon Sims (The Magnus Archives)

I’m only on season 3 of TMA so far, but I love Jon with all my heart. Working at a supernatural research institute, after having had a supernatural encounter of your own, and still choosing not to really believe in the supernatural until it knocks down the door to your office and riddles you with worms? Big mood. He’s a stubborn workaholic disaster ace, and I relate because I too struggle to interact with people and tend to get lost in obscure research projects for hours at a time. Somebody give this boy a hug and then a nap.

8. River Taam (Firefly)

Once again, there are a lot of good characters in Firefly, and I was hard-pressed to pick just one of them to put on this list. But River is a sweet summer child slowly overcoming trauma to find the joy and delight in the world around her that she had before the Academy, and I want all the best things for her. Bonus points go to Simon, who gave up everything he knew to save his sister, and Mal, who stubbornly sticks to his own code of honor even after loosing the war and much of his faith.

9. Lancelot (The Once and Future King by T. H. White)

A splendidly complex and morally grey take on our favorite legendary hero. T. H. White writes a Lancelot who struggles deeply with guilt and pride and imposter syndrome--who struggles desperately to do what is right and to channel the traits he finds in himself--both strengths and flaws--into doing the right thing. His scrupulosity is sadly relatable, and the lines “It is so fatally easy to make young children believe that they are horrible” and “ You could not give up a human heart as you could give up drinking. The drink was yours, and you could give it up: but your lover’s soul was not your own: it was not at your disposal; you had a duty towards it” are both absolutely haunting. It’s only implied in the book, but T. H. White admitted in letters that Lancelot enjoys pain, and is probably bi as well, and a bit in love with Arthur, and that he feels very guilty about it, and I just want a fluffy modern adaptation where Arthur and Guenevere and Lancelot can be in the kinky ployamarous triad that they deserve and just be happy together.

10. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling)

While I have some problems these days with the Harry Potter series and the transphobia of its author, it’s possible to like something without minimizing its flaws, and this list would not be complete without Luna Lovegood. I spent significant portions of middle school pretending to be her. She taught me how to embrace my own unabashed weirdness, and I wouldn't be the same without her.

@a-nerdy-shade-of-purple @conan-concocting-chaos @one-supportive-august​ @the-lyra-cal-trans​ @the-eleftheria​ @dumpstertrash​

[theomnilegent]

2019 Upcoming LGBTQA Fiction I’m Excited For!

A new year, a new top nine for women-lead LGBT fiction I’m looking forward to reading! There are, of course, a great many more books than the nine I’ve chosen this time ‘round - I think I will eventually make a part two to this post. I am so, so happy to see that this year we have even more diversity, even more stories about characters from all walks of life, from different parts of the LGBTQA umbrella, and even more LGBT novels. I remember a time where it’d be hard to find more than two YA novels with LGBT themes published in a single year - and now we have so many amazing works coming out!

The themes for 2019 seem to be gay witches, space gays, and explorations of mental illness in the LGBT community. I am so excited to read stories about girls and magic! I am more excited to read stories about girls and love! And I am definitely excited to see multiple books seriously addressing the issues of mental illness in young lesbian and bisexual women - it is a serious topic that has often been glossed over in the past, and to see multiple works that want to tackle these issues, and the issues of toxic relationships, in a healthy way is refreshing. 

Below you’ll find titles, summaries, and goodreads links.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki Laura Dean, the most popular girl in high school, was Frederica Riley's dream girl: charming, confident, and SO cute. There's just one problem: Laura Dean is maybe not the greatest girlfriend. Reeling from her latest break up, Freddy's best friend, Doodle, introduces her to the Seek-Her, a mysterious medium, who leaves Freddy some cryptic parting words: break up with her. But Laura Dean keeps coming back, and as their relationship spirals further out of her control, Freddy has to wonder if it's really Laura Dean that's the problem. Maybe it's Freddy, who is rapidly losing her friends, including Doodle, who needs her now more than ever. Fortunately for Freddy, there are new friends, and the insight of advice columnists like Anna Vice to help her through being a teenager in love.

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta Danny didn't know what she was looking for when she and her mother spread out a map of the United States and Danny put her finger down on Tempest, California. What she finds are the Grays: a group of friends who throw around terms like queer and witch like they're ordinary and everyday, though they feel like an earthquake to Danny. But Danny didn't just find the Grays. They cast a spell that calls her halfway across the country, because she has something they need: she can bring back Imogen, the most powerful of the Grays, missing since the summer night she wandered into the woods alone. But before Danny can find Imogen, she finds a dead boy with a redwood branch through his heart. Something is very wrong amid the trees and fog of the Lost Coast, and whatever it is, it can kill. Lush, eerie, and imaginative, Amy Rose Capetta's tale overflows with the perils and power of discovery — and what it means to find your home, yourself, and your way forward.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win. Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana. There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since. Told in alternative viewpoints and inspired by classic romantic comedies, this engaging and edgy YA novel follows two strongwilled young women falling for each other despite themselves.

The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown Before, Jessica has always struggled with anger issues, but come sophomore year that all changes when Vivi crashes into her life. As their relationship blossoms, Vivi not only helps Jess deal with her pain, she also encourages her to embrace her talent as an artist. And for the first time, it feels like the future is filled with possibilities. After In the midst of senior year, Jess’s perfect world is erased when Vivi suddenly passes away. Reeling from the devastating loss, Jess pushes everyone away, and throws out her plans to go to art school. Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever. Desperate for an escape, Jess gets consumed in her work-study program, letting all of her dreams die. Until she makes an unexpected new friend who shows her a new way to channel her anger, passion, and creativity. Although Jess may never draw again, if she can find a way to heal and room in her heart, she just might be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends. One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more...   

How It Feels To Float by Helena Fox Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Going Off Script by Jen Wilde Seventeen-year-old Bex is thrilled when she gets an internship on her favorite tv show, Silver Falls. Unfortunately, the internship isn't quite what she expected... instead of sitting in a crowded writer's room volleying ideas back and forth, Production Interns are stuck picking up the coffee. Determined to prove her worth as a writer, Bex drafts her own script and shares it with the head writer―who promptly reworks it and passes it off as his own! Bex is understandably furious, yet...maybe this is just how the industry works? But when they rewrite her proudly lesbian character as straight, that's the last straw! It's time for Bex and her crush to fight back.

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling Hannah's a witch, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she's ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah's sure it's the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica. While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she's going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem's witches become deadlier by the day.

[spacequokka]

Pls update Say my name or Something beautiful THESE ARE SUCK GOOD STORIES ✨

I’m trying to make the words do the thing but they won’t listen to me. They refuse to work!

No, seriously I’ve hit a bit of writer’s block for SMN.6 and Beautiful Thing. You didn’t ask but I’m just gonna vent, okay? Okay.

So, first off I’m a senior in college. Writing a tv spec script is much harder than it sounds and for the past two months, it’s really sucking my soul away. Trying to force out that pile of hate (even though I love B99) has made me a little…sensitive to writing for fun. Like I’d rather play Minecraft or Sims, y’know? And with my new class, I’m having to write another script. I deadass just want to write novels. But I gotta do it to get my degree this summer. That’s my first horse pill.

With SMN, I have it all planned out and even have a feel for Jun’s character (sorry, I can’t contain the daddy kink) but because of school I just don’t have the mental energy. I open Scrivener, look at the summary, and maybe add a sentence. Like my creative waterfall is all tapped out. I haven’t read any Junmyeon smut for inspiration, so if any of you can recommend something I’d appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

With everything else going on, I’m not surprised BT isn’t cooperating. It’s the most ambitious thing I’ve ever attempted. Eight main characters that each have a character arc. It’s madness. If you could see my binder and spirals and worksheets–yeah. I’m sure the issue is my perfectionism. Like, I want to deliver a piece that brings the story in my head as I see it to life. I want a realistic romance where we see the guys fall for the reader and not just “oh she’s my soulmate and so I love her.” Where they have pre-existing issues they must acknowledge or confront in order to be part of a polyamorous relationship. I want to emphasize why a relationship like that is beneficial to all of them, what each person has to offer to her and her to them, why they need each other and prove that their matching isn’t a fluke. It’s fate proven by science.

Most of all, I want my readers to see that love isn’t easy and you can’t make anyone love you, not even a parent or soulmate. I want to reassure each and every one of you that no matter who the person is, if they don’t or can’t love you the way you should be loved, it’s not the end of the world. I want to show you when to keep fighting and when to let go. I want to show you what self-love looks like and how easy it can be once you get the hang of it.

And I realize that’s A LOT to ask of a fanfic. A pretty tall order for something that started as a simple wish for more Got7 fics. I did beg you all not to make me write it. If I could just beam the whole story into your heads the world would be perfect. It’s just the best. It’ll make you laugh, cry, roll around on your bed with a pillow and kick your feet while giggling–the works. I might be setting the bar too high for myself, expecting too much. Do I really need a detailed outline? Is a rewrite necessary or can I just wing it? Should I take my anxiety meds and chill out to Seoul?

I guess I should start there. Chill tf out. It’s just a fanfic, not the Declaration of Independence. It isn’t like someone years from now will read it and go “omg look at this dumpster fire.” Well, they might but I likely won’t care being a published author with bedazzled flip flops and all.

Huh. There’s a thought. I’m stressing out now but there will be a day when I won’t be. It’ll be finished and I’ll be onto another project. That… That’s really fucking comforting.

TL;DR: Thank you for the compliments, Nonnie. I’ll update as soon as I can. In the meantime, can you recommend some good Suho smut?