#okay - pizza here I come!

[unexpectedbrickattack]

babpy.

[voidsentprinces]

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

Happy Holidays to Pep and the gang!

Pep: "..."

Pep: "Mrrp!"

Pep: "Niaga uoy ees ot deticxe ma I!!! Syadiloh yppah!!! Sdneirf olleh!!!"

Pep: "Kool emoc! Enoyreve rof staert gnikam yad lla ysub neeb ev'ew!"

Pep: "Olleh yas sdneirf ruo! Kcirb ,kool kool!"

Brick: *happy greeting squeak!*

Pep: "Enoyreve rof eikooc a edam ew! Kool!"

Pep: "Sdneirf, uoy rof tsuj eno laiceps a s'ereht dna!"

(Happy holidays to you too! Everyone can't be here right now, but I hope you guys enjoy a little bonus post for now, hehe)

[boyfeminism]

this job is so stressful to me like. im doing okay im doing better than i started but ive basically been put into a pseudo management position with very little real responsibility other than "fix it" and "advocate for it" and even less power to make it happen but like. i Hate management and i have a hard time sticking up for myself and keeping a cool head when doing so, which means when someone who i Know doesnt do his job is giving me bullshit numbers its hard to know where to give ground and where to be firm. and this kitchen is a disaster but like other baking jobs have Such a high standard that like. would i even manage a job where the kitchen Wasn't a total sinking ship? ive got less than a year of baking experience, mostly in bread, and everyone wants pastry. a chef from corporate asked me if id been to culinary school and it was both flattering and made me feel like kind of a fraud. a sous chef (who i really liked but her last day is tomorrow) asked the same and when i said no elaborated that i carry myself and have the attitude of someone who did (in a good way) which was Also flattering but like. she sent me a pastry position she found online that wanted someone who knew how to do laminated pastry and it just. i feel so small!!! this is something i like a lot and the new head chef of the baking department says he can tell i have talent and im eager to learn and he knows i can do this and that im doing a good job so far but its genuinely so stressful i think about work constantly ive never worked a job where ive had this much expectation put on me.

plus its so insulting when they tell me my product "doesnt look good" bc theyre 1) premade frozen bullshit and 2) packaged poorly bc we have no other options. fuck off dude you come and make these shitty turnovers, asshole. i know how to tell when a cookie is done. fuck off. like i am the First to tell you when something ive made is not up to my standard, not in a self depricating way but in a constant effort to do better. i Know when the cookies are too dark. I know when the turnovers didnt get egg washed. i know when the batter was overmixed. i know when something is Off but i dont know the cause and know when to ask someone who should know more than me. i dont need you to tell me when something is off, Especially when like. it isnt lmao

[whenthegoldrays]

It will never cease to be baffling and beautiful to me when I see a character look at someone for the first time and immediately sense Good and Worth in them and just. get close to them. pursue them.

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Ah, the Ravenous Saturdays have set in. This time I took care to be well prepared. Plenty of left over pizza from yesterday, plus a couple of pieces of chocolate cream pie, in the mini-fridge. Birthday indulgences, thanks to a very lovely friend🥰🥰

[deathfavor]

When i tell you my patience is at fucking 0 right now fhjsdfg its okay i dealt with it. ima go disinfect my sisters room so i can be out of the living rom at least

[fushitoru]

i can't stop looking at his d—d—d—d—FACE!

pairings ⸺ (SEPERATE) boy next door!gojo x reader, wrestler!toji x reader, gym trainer!sukuna x reader, pizza delivery boy!choso x reader, husband's boss!nanami x reader, perv on train!geto x reader

summary ⸺ jjk men as overused p0rn/h3ntai plots! inspired by this awesome post by the talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular @/osamucide! pls check it out and the rest of his work :3

warnings ⸺ SMUT (mdni), consent is pre-established in all scenarios (but dub con just in case), everyone is of age (or older), exhibitionism, infidelity in nanami’s, pussy drunk men lol, not edited (as always), cowgirl, missionary, creampies, VERY public sex in toji’s, art by 3-aem, lmk if I’ve missed anything!

a/n lolll i'm ngl this was so fun to write. some of these scenarios are so funnny hELP. this one is also for some of the anons who are so obsessed w choso and sukuna in bridgerton au. wrote them for you 🫡 choso’s is my fav hehe

NEW: part 2 here

general masterlist

SUKUNA RYOMEN ⸺ HOTTIE'S PERSONAL TRAINER HAS A VERY HANDS ON APPROACH!

“Brat!” Sukuna’s voice cuts through the air like a whip. “Watch your back. You’re supposed to be hinging your hips back, not whatever lazy shit you were doing.”

He steps around to your side, the heavy thud of his boots on the gym floor adding to the oppressive weight of his presence. Squatting down, he sets his hips back in one smooth motion, demonstrating with sharp precision. “Like this. Not whatever the fuck that was.”

You glance at him, your legs trembling under you. Sweat clings to your skin, a thin sheen that feels heavy after the grueling thirty minutes with your personal trainer. Sukuna definitely takes the "tiger mom" approach, every tattoo on his body echoing the sharp, uncompromising authority in his eyes. Right now, those eyes bore into you, narrowed with impatience, his hands on his hips. His scowl is practically carved into his face—stone-hard and unmoving.

Breathing hard, you slump forward, hands gripping your knees as you gasp for air. Your heartbeat drums loudly in your ears. “Sukuna, g-give me a sec. I just—fuck—” You can barely string a sentence together between gulps of air. “I just maxed out. My legs are literally shaking.”

Sukuna clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disappointment, but his voice softens—just a little. “Fine. Catch your breath. But as you do that, let’s practice proper form.”

You nod exhaustedly, not being able to think very clearly. Wiping the sweat to prevent it from getting into your eyes, you put your legs hip width apart as Sukuna gets behind you to observe your form. You bend down, trying to sit back onto your hips as best as possible, but as soon as your ass grazes Sukuna’s crotch, you lose the form in your back in surprise. “Sorry—”

“That was wrong.” Sukuna’s voice is in your ear as he puts his hands on your hips, and you are dizzy with the contact. “Here.” Both of you squat down, Sukuna’s hard body moving right behind you, and at the lowest position, Sukuna’s thumb roves over the fat of your ass, and they leave your hips to trace up your back. “Your back should be neutral, otherwise you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“O—okay,” you breathily reply, dizzy with the way he was touching you. If you listened closely, it almost sounded as if you were whimpering. Unfortunately for you, it seemed like Sukuna was more observant than you had hoped because he was looking at you in suspicion, eyes raking up and down your figure to observe your appearance. Disheveled, chest rising rapidly, sweat dripping right in the middle of your breasts—

Sukuna, out of nowhere, grabs your hand and begins walking away. “Come with me. You’re not doing them right.”

Soon, you’re led into one of the gym’s stretching rooms—the private ones, the ones meant for Sukuna to help you after the workout. 

“Sukuna, what are we—” you breathlessly ask, but you’re quickly shushed by Sukuna as he hoists himself on the massage table.

“Come here,” he motions to his lap, and you wordlessly follow his directions, sitting directly on top of his lap, gasping as you realize there’s a bulge making contact with your pussy. “We’re going to try an alternative way of doing squats, one that involves a bit more cardio.” He pulls down his sweatpants, blushing, furious cock springing out as he pulls down your yoga pants.

Soon, you’re moaning as you slowly take in his cock, sliding down as his precum and your copious amount of slick mix and drip onto his pelvis. Your feet are on either side of his legs, making you squat every time you lower yourself down on his length.

“Fuck! You’re so tight.” He slaps your ass as you bounce yourself rapidly on his cock. “Pretended to not know how to squat just for me to put this fat cock in you, isn’t that right?”

You didn’t have the capacity to answer, just moan as his cock hits your spot. Unsatisfied with your pace, Sukuna flips you both over until your back is on the table. 

“Oh fuck yea,” Sukuna pants, hips pistoning into you rapidly, effectively fucking you into the table, and his quads are bulging in sheer strength as they clench and unclench in reflection of his pleasure. “Didn’t know my client had such a sweet pussy.”

KAMO CHOSO ⸺ SHE ORDERS BIG SAUSAGE PIZZA AND GETS HER DEEP DICK CRAVINGS FILLED! (the title is so ridiculous im crying)

“Your total’s $14.93. You’re five bucks short.” The delivery boy—an emo looking guy with hair in space buns—responds to the wad of cash and coins you had just given him. He couldn’t look any less bored than he was as he stared down impassively at you, hot, steaming pizza in one hand.

"Wait, but I ordered a small?" You ask him in confusion. "I couldn't possibly finish a large one by myself!"

He pulls out your receipt from where it was tucked into the pizza box. "Your order said a large." Upon glancing on it, you look that he was indeed correct—right next to your pizza, the size LARGE glared at you through the sheen of the reciept's paper.

"Oh," You said, dumbly, blinking in confusion. "Well, I can pay the rest in card if that's okay."

You get an impassive "I don't have a card reader."

"Oh, okay," you laugh nervously, hand going up to scratch the back of your head and fiddle with the rest of your fingers. "Okay, well," you squinted at his nametag, "Choso, let me just check the remaining cash I have. You can come inside if you'd like." 

He comes inside, dropping off the pizza you ordered on your kitchen counter as he makes his way to sit on your couch. You go to your bedroom, checking your desk drawer for any loose cash you may have stored but to no avail. Heart racing and nervous, you frantically search the upper shelf of your room, on your tiptoes as you look for your money jar, praying that there was a 5 dollar piece of cash lying around. Instead, your fingers crash against some book propped on it, tumbling down onto the floor with a large thud!

You hear footsteps coming up to your bedroom door. Choso, standing near the door. "You good?"

"Yea," you strain, still reaching up high to grasp at the jar. "I'm just trying to find somethi—”

The heat of Choso's body surrounds you as he presses closer to you, reaching up effortlessly to grab at the money jar. His groin presses against your backside, acutely aware of his breaths as he passes you the jar. 

Which is empty.

"Fuck!" you curse. You turn, looking at Choso in anxiousness, as you notice he hasn't backed away at all. "I'm sorry, but is there any alternative way to pay for the pizza? Again, I'm really really sorry for the hassle."

"You have to pay for the food in some sort of way," he says with a stony face. Your mind is racing, thinking of ways you could pay but coming up short.

As a result, you end up with your face stuffed against your pillow, the hot delivery boy plowing and drilling his cock into you. 

"Fuck, so irresponsible. Couldn't even pay for the pizza she ordered without a stranger's cock inside of her." At his dirty talk, you whimper and squeeze your pussy, Choso groaning as a result.

"What was that?" He grabs your hair and pulls your face up as his tongue traces the frame of your ear. "What were you trying to say, you cockslut?"

"'M sorry!" You squealed and babbled, eliciting little ah! ah! ah!'s as he continues bumping his cockhead against the gooey spot inside your pussy.

"Yea, you better be. Wasting my fucking time. I'm going to come inside, got it?" Choso growls as he continues pistoning his hips inside.

GETO SUGURU ⸺ ANIME GIRL GETS HER PUSSY FINGERED ON PUBLIC TRAIN!

He pulls you in for a deep kiss while rutting inside you. "Aren't you my good girl? Taking this cock for me like a good girl?" You squeal, blabbering nonsense as he fucks you into next Tuesday…

You read the smut from your favorite author on Tumblr, devouring each word while remaining stony faced as the train rocked underneath your feet. In the corner facing the doors, you made sure that you were angled in such a way that no one would be able to see the filthy things you were reading on your screen. 

However, the metro was slowing down and you looked up quickly—which was painful, considering you were so invested in the story—to make sure it wasn't your stop. As the rush of foot traffic simultaneously populated and vacated the metro, you paid no attention to the people behind you. After all, other people would be too busy on their phones to see what you were reading, right?

"You're going to take this cum, right? I'm going to breed you, my sweet, sweet girl." He laughs.  You take a moment to take in his pretty features. Long hair, beautiful face, all filled with lust for you...

You scan the words, blush evident on your face as your favorite writer has done it yet again. Adjusting, you squeezed your thighs for relief and toyed with the hem of your skirt, failing to notice the soft breaths trailing down the back of your neck just because of how enthralled and taken you were with the plot.

And then, a hand trailed up your thigh, catching you by alarm. You almost drop your phone in your rush to turn and look at the creep that was touching you, ready to beat the shit out of him. 

But when you do turn, you stop and widen your eyes. The man in front of you seems even prettier than the fictional man you were reading about, and you take him in as he rubs circles on your thigh. His sultry eyes rake down your figure, his lips pulled back in a knowing smirk. "That's some filthy shit you're reading."

Looking at him, your heart starts beating faster solely because of the promise of what his hands would do as they were currently softly stroking your thighs, getting closer and closer to going under your shirt. "I—I—uh sorry—I—"

"It's okay, pretty girl." He gives you a kiss on the side of your neck. "Continue reading it. Can you do that, baby?"

You nod, not trusting your voice. Coincidentally, you're at the part where the man helps the girl masturbate, rubbing and teasing her pussy up and down. The man behind you does the same, teasing your lips while refusing to delve inside your panties, no matter how badly you want him to do.

"That feel good?"

You whimper. "Yes—ah—it feels good. Please touch me on my pussy directly. Please."

The man behind you chuckles, and your knees buckle at how rich his voice is. You would join a cult for this man. "Since you asked so nicely, I will. Call me Suguru."

His fingers pull your panties aside and enters, soon knuckle deep inside your cunt, and as quietly as you can, you moan his name as he continues fingering you in front of all the strangers on the train. His hips press closer to your ass, and you throb even more at the huge bulge he’s sporting. He’s sloppily licking on the outside of your ear, right where you’re sensitive, and you shiver and lose yourself in the pressure even more.

The pleasure was building in you steadily and Suguru groans. “That’s right, take it all.”

You almost jump when the PA sounds. "The next stop is Shinjuku."

“That’s my stop. You have to cum before then, or you won’t be able to cum,” Suguru whispers in your ear, speeding up and hitting your g-spot with precision. There are tears forming in your eyes as you make an effort to stay quiet, especially with Suguru giving seductive kisses to your sensitive neck. 

“Fuck, you got so tight,” he groans. “Gonna cum?” He uses his thumb to rub fast circles on your clit, and you see stars. 

“I will—I will,” you cry, as the throbbing and pulsing sensation grows faster and faster until finally, you cum with a muffled cry, because Suguru has his fingers in your mouth to ensure you don’t scream out on this very, very public train.  “Squeezing my fingers so much, relax,” Suguru laughs, popping his slick-coated fingers in his mouth. “You gonna do that to my dick next?”

NANAMI KENTO ⸺ BEAUTIFUL WIFE HAS TO FUCK HER HUSBAND'S BOSS! (NTR)

“Mr. Nanami,” you scrape a hand through your hair and clear your throat. “You wanted to see me?” 

For a moment, your husband’s handsome boss eyes you down, catching on the top button of your blouse currently unbuttoned. You mainly did it because of nervousness, the heat of the room escalating with Nanami Kento’s presence. After a long bout of intimidating silence, he finally speaks. “I assume you can guess why you are here?”

You bounce your knee as you sit across from the man, and you suddenly start sweating. Of course you can guess. Your bum of a husband—the one currently under your charge—neglects to do his deliverables, choosing to take comfort in the fact that you were his higher-up to trust that he would not be getting terminated for his lack of responsibility. 

But what he doesn’t know is that you’ve been begging Nanami not to fire him, despite the propelling and clear reasons to do so. And you fear the day he finally chooses to stop listening to you. 

“Team leader, I’m going to need much more convincing. Your team has been decreasing in productivity ever since your husband joined, and it’s hindering the company,” he reminds you stoically. “I’ve seen you working overtime far too frequently to cover up for your spouse’s negligence.”

You wish time would speed up just to get this difficult conversation with. “I—I’m going to be honest, Mr. Nanami. I don’t have much warrant to continue having him on the team, but it would put my family in much…emotional conflict if this were to happen.” The said emotional conflict would really only be from your husband. You’re sure he’s going to take this as an excuse to drink himself silly, blaming you for not being able to keep him employed. Your throat dries as you finally meet eyes with your boss, silently pleading him to come up with a solution.

“I see.” Nanami crosses his arms. “I suppose there is a…favor you could do for me.”

At that, you perk up and nod your head frantically. “Of course. Anything.”

Which is why you find yourself bent over Nanami’s desk, his cock drilling inside you. He’s ripped your stockings, pulled up your miniskirt, and put your panties to the side as he moans about how sweet your pussy feels. “I’ve been waiting for this forever. Tell me, is my cock better than his?”

“It is!” you squeal. “You’re so—so big!”

Nanami moans as he ruts inside you, your walls squeezing him tight. “Darling, I c—can tell he doesn’t treat you right. You are so tight around me, pussy’s been waiting for a while for a real man.” 

You moan and curse, blabbering affirmations while his dick impales you. Even though Nanami is the one who’s owed the favor here, his hands wind their way around your body to rub at your clit, simulating you even more, making you sob. “Please don’t stop!”

“I won’t ever, sweetheart,” he pants. “I’m going to finish inside her, okay? Make sure to keep it in when you go home and greet your husband.”

FUSHIGURO TOJI ⸺ BABE GETS IMMEDIATELY DESTROYED IN NAKED WRESTLING (WITH AN AUDIENCE) (find extended ver here!)

Cheers surround you as you step into the arena. You know who your opponent is—-Fushiguro Toji. Even when you looked at his pictures earlier, you knew you were doomed. No matter what angle the photographer took the photos in, his muscles seemed to be bulging, effectively spelling out the sore defeat you were about to face today.

And there he is. Him in the flesh. He’s leaning against the boxing ring’s outer borders, head tilted back lazily while his manager, Shiu, was informing him quickly (and intensely) about the rules of today.

Nothing crazy. Only fuck when all clothes are off of her.

The way his neck is tilted back, compression shirt showing off his upper physique made you weak in the knees already. Additionally, judging based off of the bulge he seemed to be sporting in his grey sweatpants, you knew you were doubly fucked.

Shiu seems to be done talking, so he steps back and takes a seat. Toji leans his head back, rolling his neck to stretch it out, and in the middle of doing so, catches your eye.

You almost drench your panties.

His eyes darken, giving you a sultry look as he cheekily winks. While his cocky demeanor was warranted (he was much stronger and bigger than you), your cheeks heated up in both arousal and irritation.

The sound of a whistle is heard as music starts to play. The stadium’s screens flashes the cocky image of Toji, who saunters in the middle of the ring, flexing his muscles to his screaming fans.

When your signature theme plays, you do the same, to no shortage of fans yourself. You can feel everyone in the stadium, especially your male fans, rove over your figure. You’re wearing a very low cut top that displays the swell of your boobs and even tighter shorts that squeeze your ass and show off the shape of your pussy. As you walk towards Toji, you can feel his heavy gaze on you as you nervously shake his hand.

“Try to last long, okay?” Toji smirks, patting your shoulder. “I’ll try to drag this out as much as I can, but it’s gonna be fuckin hard if that ass is grinding against me.”

You glare at him, but there’s not much intensity there. “Yea, yea,” you huff. “For all I know, you’ll be my personal dildo today.”

And the fucker’s smile widens. “Let the games begin.”

Soon enough, the sound of the whistle draws you towards each other, keeping each other in a lock to tackle the other down in an objective to take off layers of their clothing. Your fans cheer when you have Toji underneath you for a split second, only for female ones to become more riotous as he easily overtakes you, pins your hands down, and wrenches your shorts off of you.

“Toji is currently in the lead!” The announcer’s voice in the stadium echoes of your defeat as you flail around, now bottoms only covered by your panties. Deciding to pull out your signature move, you maneuver so your thighs surround Toji’s waist and hump your hips against his bulge. This momentarily distracts and weakens Toji, and you take full advantage of it by overtaking him and now straddling him. You quickly take off his shirt, salivating at the muscles you see. The whole stadium, in fact, can his abs and pecs glistening with sweat.

Your attention is back to Toji as he chuckles darkly. “You’re going to regret that. I was going to drag this out, princess, but I gotta fuck the brat out of you.” With that, he puts his whole body weight on you and strips you down one by one.

The arena cheers as your lace bra is uncovered, your sweat shining on the screen as your breasts are displayed. Toji then unhooks your bra, and the roars get even louder as your tits pop out. He takes a moment to grope them, your whines ignored as he pinches your nipples. “What a sensitive girl,” he coos. “Too bad she was too weak. Now she’s going through to have to take my cock.

With that, he finally unveils your glistening pussy for all eyes to see and the crowd goes wild, chanting for Toji to finish inside you. Toji flips you over so you’re on your hands and knees and pulls down his pants.

You don’t look back at the monster that’s about to enter you for the sake of your mental health, but your legs are shaking in anticipation of his cock, slick dripping down your thighs.

“Fuck.” And Toji’s slowly entering you, the humiliating plap! plap! plap! of his hips against the flesh of your ass echoing multiple strangers watch your pussy get wrecked. “The fuck this pussy’s so tight for? Thought you were a slut?”

You’re tearing up, but not fucked out enough to prevent you from snarkily replying, “You’re not turning me on, small dick.”

He did not like that very much.

Toji drills his hips into yours faster and slaps your ass multiple times consecutively. “Yea, so why is she clenching so fucking much? Why is she dripping? Just for that, I’m going to come inside of your slutty pussy.”

The crowd chants cum, cum, cum! and Toji just does that. Ropes of his cum fill you, and you drop down in exhaustion to hear Toji declared as winner.

GOJO SATORU ⸺ GIRL GETS FUCKED BY PEEPING TOM NEXT DOOR!

You sigh, extending your back and un clipping your bra, letting your tits bounce free after a long, long week of college. It was finally Friday night, and with no one in the house due to a party the rest of your family was attending, you could finally enjoy your time home on the holidays, starting with a solo session.

You clench your thighs in anticipation as you scrolled your phone, seeking an audio you could masturbate to. And you were close to finding one, until you felt eyes on you.

These eyes were nothing new. The boy next door, Gojo Satoru, has also been your crush since middle school. Even though neither of you have ever made a move, you’ve made bold moves since starting college, stripping with the blinds open to give him a show. You had kind of had a sixth sense as to when the fucker would start watching you, and it flared as you slowly dragged your hands down. Bending over and shaking your ass, you slipped your skimpy shorts down your legs, giving him a clear view of your wet pussy.

But masturbating wasn’t enough for today. None of the college frat bros could make you cum, no matter how much they boasted about their fuckin roster, and you were tired of Satoru just watching. Just seeing him work out shirtless in his lawn, sun shining his sweat to give him a golden halo, was enough to make you sick, hungry for his dick. The way he was so shy and the mannerisms he had (as a loser) let you know he had a big fucking dick.

Needless, to say, you were tired of just fantasizing and speculating about his dick. Turning around, the moonlight allowed you to see the silhouette of his wrist moving up and down his length, even if he had tried to make his best effort to darken his rooms. Putting on your best show of an angry face, you grab your phone aggressively and dial his number.

The line rings, and he picks up. “Hey,” and you can tell he’s a little breathless. “long time no see. What’s up?”

“Cut the fucking act out,” you spit. “I know you’ve been fucking watching me, perv.”

Satoru’s panic is comically obvious over the phone as he rushes his words. “Wait, wait—listen, I—I can explain.”

“On how you’re being a peeping tom?” You glare at his window. “Come over, Gojo. Then I’ll listen to your fucking explanation.”

One thing leads to another, and now you’re spread out on your childhood bed, Gojo whimpering and whining as he plows his dick into your pussy. “You feel so—so good. M�� sorry—sorry for doing that. Your pussy is too good for me to look at.”

You laugh meanly and grab his chin. “You feel sorry yet, you pervert?” And Satoru can only cry out as you yank his head. “Remember, this is the only fucking thing you’re good at. Being my glorified dildo. Got it? Now, you’re going to fill me up only after you make me cum at least two times.”

a/n yea this was depraved….lmk what yall think tho 😭

comment and reblog I’d love to hear your thoughts! (also, requests are open heheh)

NEW: part 2 here!

[olailamajnoon]

Headcanon: Jason, after coming back from the dead, decides to fuck with Bruce for revenge and also because it slaps, but mostly for revenge ykwim

Bruce blames coffee and lack of sleep for the fact that the pizza delivery boy looks like Jason, the club bouncer looks like Jason, the clerk in Damian's school looks like Jason

Jason: here's your pizza, mister *shoves it into Bruce's face*

Bruce: 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 can I ask your name

Jason: Percy, but everyone just calls me Purse. Like in "cut purse"

Bruce: *under his breath* jesus, you even SOUND like him

Jason, wide innocent eyes popping out of his chiseled man face: you okay dude?

Bruce, convinced he's finally lost his mind, but still holding on to the "illusion": Do you want to come inside?

Jason, deadpan: dude you're rich white and famous, you really think imma let you take me inside your gargantuan Gothic mansion? Being killed one time's enough

Bruce, turning around: *wHaT dId YoU sAy*

[fazcinatingblog]

Oh great, April 1st, when the footy humourists tell me Alex Fasolo has retired and I'm like WHAT NO HE CAN'T and then I realise what day it is and breathe a sigh of relief that Alex Fasolo still plays football and

[libraford]

It is possible to interact with people whom share opposing views and no this is not about pineapple on pizza. In fact, it is imperative that you learn how to be civil with some people who you may find difficult to agree with.

At work, Youngin would often tell me that the guy that trained him (Ginger) was a misogynist. I had never met Ginger, and I had very little to say on this matter. But I would ask Youngin some questions about him because I like to know the other seasonal workers a little. I ask about Ginger- first words from Youngin's mouth 'he's a misogynist.'

I asked him why he thought that. (There are many misogynists at this location, as someone that is woman-shaped I see it often, I am comparing notes.)

"We were on our way to a location and a driver was going really slowly. When he got around her he said 'fucking women drivers.' Like he was going out of his way to prove that the driver was a woman."

The last month or so, Youngin worked exclusively with me because I knew that it was a matter of time before he said something that pissed off one of the guys. He was not going to get along with people here, it just wasn't happening.

When he left, everyone wanted to know what he was like to work with. And I finally got to have a conversation with Ginger.

"I'd like to ask you something a little strange- he said that on his first day there was an issue with a driver going slowly. Can you tell me about that?"

"Oh yeah! She was going super slow and when I got around her I said 'yup- little old lady driving.' And he was like 'what's that supposed to mean?' And I just kind of dropped it, but I hear he was saying I was a misogynist over it?"

So I give Youngin some grace because he's young, he's got a social bubble that's very liberal, he has not met very many people that weren't part of that kind of scene. But he often talked about how every person here has said something that pissed him off and he seemed really surprised that I (woman-shaped queer liberal) would be okay working with all these sexist homophobes.

And I give grace to Ginger because he had no reason to think that his words would be interpreted like that. What he was saying was normal to him. This is... somewhat the culture of landscaping jobs. And its not even close to the worst thing I've heard out of these dudes mouths. (Literally had one of the dudes comment that he would like to 'motorboat' one of the pedestrians.)

It was weird for Youngin to carry that with him for the whole two months that he worked here, over a very... small comment.

Every single person I've worked with here has said something that has given me pause and I tuck it away to rant about later and then I let it go. If it gets out of hand, I talk to one of the bosses about it. I know how to contact HR. I came into this place knowing that I was going to disagree politically with most of the people that I work with because I'm coming in to a culture that is fundamentally different from my own.

If I am being frank, I find the overt bigotry somewhat better than the corporate bullshit of 'we value your contributions, but won't be granting your accommodations request out of fairness to other workers' or the glass cliff or literally being fired for my sexual orientation but phrased with 'oh you just weren't a good fit for the culture here.' I at least know what I'm getting into when I come to work. I know what not to talk about. Last time I thought I was safe to talk about something queer with my boss she blindsided me with some transphobic garbage.

Its admirable to stick up for the marginalized people in your life, but part of changing minds is knowing the time and the place to comment. I think I've changed more minds at this warehouse by being a visibly out lesbian at work than I have by making carefully crafted speeches.

That is fine. It is fine to disagree. Sometimes you have to work with racists, homophobes, and assholes. That is part of being an adult. You talk about things like... sports or TV or weather or some cool bug you saw. Finding common ground with people who are different from you in many ways is an important part of socialization and it sucks to think you have anything in common with a jackass but look- you're spending 7-ish hours with these people and at some point some of them are going to say stupid shit. You are going to say stupid shit also. I have said my fair share of stupid shit. Deal with the fact that you're all stupid shits.

And for fuck's sake, wear your hardhat.

[eddiesxangel]

1-800-HOT-TO-GO | E.M

Anonymous asked: Can i request a fic where either the reader reveals during a pizza and beers hangout she was a phone sex operator for a brief time and everyone is shocked and one of them jokingly asks if she was any good and she whispers something dirty in their ear and it changes their friendship

Cw: fem!reader, allusions to male masturbation, dirty talk 1.7k words

“Come again?”

“I used to work a sex hotline,” you shrug like it was no big deal.

“No way,” Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t believe you.”

You hear Steve and the others giggle around you, also in disbelief.

“Wanna bet?”

“Try me.” He wants to call your bluff because no way in hell did he not know this about you. You always were reserved when it came to talking about sex; never had you seemed promiscuous.

You hold up your hand to your ear, pretending it is a phone, and Eddie follows your lead.

“Ring ring,” he giggles.

“Hello.” You changed the pitch of your voice to be more sultry.

“Hi,” he smirks.

“Can I get a name, handsome?”

“ Eddie”

“Mmmm, hi, Eddie. I’m Candy.”

“Candy?”

He breaks character, but you don’t.

“the boys say it’s because I’m so sweet.” You fake giggle.

“This is my first time calling. I’m not sure what to do here.”

“That’s okay, I’ll walk you through it… you want to get comfortable for me?”

Eddie looks around the room at the others, who are trying to stifle their giggles. This night was supposed to be chill, with pizza and beers. He wasn’t really sure how you all ended up here.

“I’m comfortable.” He says without actually moving.”

“I wish I could see; you sound so sexy.” You sigh.

Another giggle leaves Eddie’s lips because who is this person who’s taken over your body?

“Yeah? you wish you could see be, Dollface?” Playing into it more.

You lean in to whisper so only he can hear it this time. “oh yeah, big boy; I bet your cock is already nice and hard for me. Such a good boy, I want you to fill me.” You sit back, take a loose tendril, twirl his hair around your finger, and watch Eddie’s eyes widen at what you just said.

“Oh-okay, that’s enough.” He chuckles, trying not to give away how turned on he just got. “I believe you!”

You sit back with a giggle and grab another slice of pizza like nothing just happened.

Everyone looked at you with shock.

Eddie quickly gets up and excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

“What did you say?!” Robin begs.

You shrug in response like it was another day at work… which it has been.

“Damn, is it hot in here?” Steve pops the collar of his shirt.

“You guys need to loosen up, my god.”

While you were still enjoying your pizza, Eddie was having a crisis. Never had he thought of you in that way until moments ago, listening to those filthy words slip from your lips.

“I bet your cock is already nice and hard for me. Such a good boy, I want you to fill me,” your words replayed in his mind while he tried to fight the blood rushing to his stiffening cock.

He can’t go back out there like this. Eddie splashed cold water on his face to try to snap him out of it, but it didn’t help.

A quick rap on the door startles Eddie out of his inner monologue.

“You okay, big boy? You’ve been in there fifteen minutes.” He hears you laugh from the other side.

Had it really been that long?

Eddie’s issue had not been resolved; in fact, it had worsened as he tried to push down the thought of you naked and spread out for him… talking to him like that.

“Yeah-I-uh- just a minute.” Eddie wanted to pull his hair out at how frustrated you had made him.

You were just pals, bubbies, amigos.

You weren’t attractive… were you?

Eddie never thought to look at you in that way; you’re just a friend, always had been, always will be… unless?

The more Eddie thought about it, the more he realized he did think your hair looked really pretty tonight. The way you always did your makeup really brought out your beautiful features…and when he got a whiff of your delicious perfume when you twirled his hair, he couldn’t get enough.

“You sure?” You try to jiggle the door handle, but it’s locked.

“Shit,” Eddie curses under with breath.

“Come on, Ed, talk to me, please?”

You hear the lock unlatch and watch the doorknob slowly turn as Eddie pokes his head out.

“Hi,” he’s short and sounds a bit out of breath.

“I hope what I said didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Ed saw the worried look in your eyes.

“No! Well, I mean, yes, but…no.”

“Yes, but no?”

Eddie let out a deep sigh. He didn’t see a way out of this. He stepped aside to let you in and shut the door behind you.

“Eddie?” You look up at him.

“Hm?”

His eyes snap to your concerned face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a big deal! It did it all the time for work; I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. clearly, I overstepped a boundary-“

“You’re not the only one.”

“What do you mean?”

Eddie moves his strategically placed hands to reveal the tent formed in his jeans and watches as your face falls into amused shock.

You cup your mouth to stifle an unexpected giggle.

“That’s not the reaction a guy wants when he shows a girl how turned on he is.”

“I’m sorry, I just!-didn’t think?”

“It’s okay. I’m just trying to get rid of it, but it’s not going away.”

“You mean?”

“I’m waiting it out.”

“Oh, ok.” You nod awkwardly.

An awkward silence washes over the both of you as you try so hard not to stare at his crotch.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask for your help if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Ok…”

Another very uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, trying to do everything in your power so as not to look down.

“I um… I guess I’ll just.” You point to the door that he’s blocking.

“Uh. Ok,” he nods and steps to the side.

You close the door behind you but don’t leave. You lean against the door and take a deep breath, trying to make sense of the evening.

Why did the thought of turning Eddie on excite you? He’s a friend. Just a friend. I always had and always will be.

With a deep breath, you go to push yourself up off the door, but before you’re able to, you hear your name being moaned from the other side of the door.

You froze. You knew you should move, but your feet were locked in place. More heavy breaths and the sound of muffled moans seeped from under the door gap, and you pressed your ear to the door.

Eddie was jerking off because of you… and you liked it?

Eddie bit back screaming your name as he finally released himself into the bathroom tissue. Finally, he could return to rejoin everyone without being physically uncomfortable.

He discarded his release, tucked himself back in, washed his hands, and unlocked the door, but he was ambushed when you fell onto him when he went to open the door.

You let out a squeak as you lost your balance, falling into Eddie as the door was opened from under you.

“Woah,” Eddie catches you before you’re able to fall. His rage hands wrap around your biceps, gripping tightly to brace your fall.

“Were you spying on me?”

“Oh god, sorry” you’re so embarrassed. The whole evening has been one shit show. You scramble to find your fitting to create space between you and Eddie.

“You were spying on me!”

“Shhhhh! Keep your voice down.”

“You totally were spying on me!” He accused.

“You’re the one who moaned my name!” You defend.

Eddie’s cheeks reddened.

“You’re the one who said all those… things!” his hands flailed.

“You’re the one who egged it on!”

“So!”

“So?”

“Yeah, so!”

“Woah, guys, what’s going on here?” Steve pops his head around the corner.

“Nothing,” you both glare.

“Ohhhhhkayyyyyyyy,” Steve turns a heel and walks back to the kitchen to grab a drink.

“Eddie,” you sigh, “I don’t want to argue. This is dumb, and we can pretend it never happened.”

“We could, but I gotta know.”

“What’s that?”

“Did you like it?” He took a step closer, filling the gap between you.

“What?” You look up at him.

“I asked if you like listening to me?” he brushed your hair behind your shoulder.

You gulp, not expecting Eddie’s demeanour to switch on a dime.

“I… I don’t know?”

“I think you did, and you’re too scared to admit it.” You can smell him. He is so close to you.

“Eddie, what are you doing?” You watch as he leans in closer.

“Just trust me.” His hands find the back of your neck, pulling you close.

“Eddie?”

“Let me try something.”

“Kay,” you whisper.

Eddie’s lips graze yours ever so lightly before he presses them fully.

A million and one thoughts run through your mind as Eddie kisses you.

You blame the cheap beer for letting this happen. You blame the beer for liking it. You blame the beer for kissing him back. You blame the beer for the tongue slip and the beer for how you wanted to moan when he pulled away.

“Woah”

“Yea woah,” you repeated dumbly.

“um… did you like it?”

“Yeah… did you?”

“Yeah.”

“cool… now what?”

“go out with me,” Eddie states confidently.

“Like a date?”

“what else would it be?” He chuckles.

“I don’t know?” You shrug, embarrassed that Eddie is getting you all flustered.

“You’re cute when you don’t know what to say.” He smirks.

“I’m cute?” You never thought hearing Eddie say those words would send butterflies fluttering through your tummy.

Eddie doesn’t answer verbally; he leans in to kiss you again to confirm his statement.

“We should get back to the others.” You sigh as you pull away.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“You didn’t ask me anything.”

“Yes, I did. I asked you out.”

“No, you said go out with me. That’s a statement, not a question.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No,” Yes, you were totally messing with him.

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

“Just say yes! You’ve been gone for half an hour!” You hear Robin yell from the living room.

“Robin!” You hear Steve scold.

“What?”

You can’t help but laugh and can’t believe the next world’s coming out of your mouth.

“Okay, I’ll go out with you, Eddie.”

[kiemiu]

voice notes your boyfriend matt leaves you | ( fem!reader ) fluff + soft hours. established relationship drabble wc 348 (library) + (request)

one. moms been asking about you a lot recently. i mean—seriously, every conversation we have she's always asking "how's your girlfriend doing? did she blah blah blah." and it's like, woah, ask me about my day first, yknow?

two. i think i've gotten too used to you sleeping in the same bed as me...it's weird without you here...empty. i hope you're getting better sleep than me.

three. don't be mad but...i—i took your teddy bear. i promise im gonna give it back when i leave boston, i swear! i just really miss you and i knew the perfume on my luggage wouldn't last....please, don't be mad.

four. i know i said i'd wait for you to send your order but i was in the drive-thru already and people were behind me. i—..i got nervous and drove off. (long silence) so— pizza tonight?

five. i'm glad you had a fun day shopping with the girls...do you think we could facetime when you get home? i wanna see everything you got.

six. (nicks voice) don't come in matt's room for like a good hour, he just blew ass and it smells so fu- (gagging noises) (matt in the background: it's not that bad, nick!)

seven. was playing dress to impress on stream earlier and couldn't stop thinking about you...if you're up to it we should play duos. but only if you're up for it, i know it's late.

eight. i'm never listening to your playlist on shuffle again, i was folding laundry listening to clairo and the next song queued up was some fucking death metal band. nearly gave me a heart-attack..

nine. hey, baby..you okay? i'm not trying to be like, clingy or whatever but we haven't talked all day and..i don't know it's just a little out of the ordinary. i'm sure you're fine but just—just let me know if you're okay, okay?

ten. don't you wanna grab your cool, hot, and sexy boyfriend a drink from downstairs? (whispers) please, say yes, please, say yes, please, say yes.

' 𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ' 🥡: @emely9274 @ginswife @madifilipowiczslvt @chrispleasure @chrisstvrns @conspiracy-ash @sturnina @lovetaylorrussellgrr @nervoussagittarius

[tojbnuy]

little halloween drabble!! 🎃 ps: toji is definitely the type of dad to cut into every piece of candy megumi got before letting him eat it. (likes reblogs always appreciated <3)

“right go on buddy go knock.”

toji watched as his son waddled towards the door ahead of him. he had to admit megumi looked really fucking cute. he had been going on and on about dressing up as mario for halloween so toji had done what any good dad would do and he bought him the full costume. the kid even had a fake mustache stuck to his upper lip.

“and remember to say please and thank you megs okay?”

“yes daddy i know.” megumi replied with a little too much sass in his tone.

his little fist knocked a couple times on the door until it opened and then there was. you. toji was a bit too focused on laughing at his sons costume that he hadn’t realised someone dressed up as bat-woman had opened the door. toji himself was dressed up as batman (if you could call keeping the batman mask atop his head dressing up). you were matching. and you were fucking gorgeous. toji was busy taking in your long bare legs when he heard the sudden screech leave you at the sight of his son.

“oh don’t you look adorable!!”

he was definitely gonna buy megumi some pizza on the way back after this.

“uh thank you. trick or treat?”

“hold on let me grab my bowl of candy.”

toji couldn’t help but stare at the rest of you as you turned your back on them. you returned with a massive pumpkin shaped bowl full to the brim with sweets and wrapped cakes.

“go on honey take as much as you like.”

and megumi did not take that sentence lightly. toji scoffed as his son grabbed as much as his chubby hands could carry and stuffed it into his bucket, all the while you grinned and cooed at the boy infront of you.

“does daddy want some?”

toji looked at you and the smirk on your face at your little question.

“nah i’m good thank you.”

just as megumi was about to turn back to his dad toji reminded him, “say thank you baby.”

“thank you baby.” megumi very confidently turned to you and said and you had all but melted. you were in a fit of giggles now as toji held a palm up to his face. megumi looked up at his dad wondering what the commotion was about.

“sorry about that.”

“no you’re good, that’s just made my night.”

you were just staring at each other now, neither of you wanting to break away without saying something more.

“hey we’re matching.” and there was something about your smile. he couldn’t get enough.

“yeah i realised.”

god what should he say. he didn’t want to just ask for your number he was clearly older than you.

“haven’t seen you around here before you new?”

“yeah i uh moved in last week.”

he watched every word come out of your pink painted lips. watched as you tucked a strand of black hair behind your ear.

“daddy why are you staring?”

that got another laugh out of you as you ruffled little megumis hair. there was a small hue of pink now dusting your cheeks however.

“nothing brat. well i’ll see you around then.”

“yeah hopefully.” and with one last smile and wave at megumi you closed your front door and toji was left standing there staring at your closed door and wondering if and when would be the next time he saw you.

“do you love her?”

“what??”

“you keep staring at her it’s weird.”

“i’ll be eating your candy when we get home.”

a/n : do we want a part 2 ? 🤨

[eyesonlybutterflies]

Rebound, times two

𝘊𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘏𝘦𝘦𝘫𝘢𝘬𝘦

𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: dom!Heeseung x f!reader x switch!Jake

𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 4.0k

𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: smut, mention of cheating, drinking (but everything is consensual), tension, praise, petnames, big dick Heeseung and Jake, competitive/competition (and reader is all here for it), possesiveness, desperate reader, Heeseung is so daddy (who said that??) oral (m and f receiving), throat fucking, tit sucking, needy!Jake, hickeys, unprotected sex (pls dont), jealous!Jake, pervy!Jake, sweet!gentleman!amazing!Heeseung, threesome (duh), a little rough?, p in v, slight size kink, face painting, creampie, lmk if i missed anything

18+ 𝓜𝓝𝓓𝓘!!!

𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

The night was starting to slow down. You and your friends, Heeseung and Jake, had been drinking and playing on your switch for hours. This morning, when dropping off some stuff at home, you caught your boyfriend in bed with another woman. Heeseung and Jake noticed something was off right away and so made plans at theirs to distract you.

After the many hours of sulking, crying, laughing, and so many more emotions and conversations, there are two empty wine bottles and a soju bottle with enough for only one shot left. The alcohol had really kicked in for all three of you, Heeseung was more competitive, Jake was worse and you felt more in your feelings than before. That's how you are, you're a fun drunk until the clock hits midnight and then you become sentimental. Normally in a cute way, like wanting to kiss and hug your friends.

This was definitely not a cute way. Thinking of the times you and your ex used to play games, talking until 3 am drunk, having boxes of pizza laying around lazily. 𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥.

Jake noticed the shift in your demeanor, 'Y/n, are you okay?' You nod, trying to swallow the tears that were forming again. Jake turned off the switch, which caused a few groans coming from Heeseung, but those were quickly silenced when he saw your state. 'What's wrong, Y/n?' Heeseung asks with concern. You shrug, eyes a bit glassy, 'I'm just missing him I guess.'

They look at each other, however you're not able to read their expression. They turn back to you and plant themselves to either side of you. Jake gently lays a hand on your shoulder and Heeseung firmly places his on you knee. 'It's okay Y/n, we understand if you want to cry, we're here for you.' 'Yeah, we're always here for anything. I mean, a three year relationship is a long time. It's okay to have some trouble getting used to the changes.'

Slow squeezes and rubs ensue. You know they mean well, and yet you can't shake the feeling that these touches have a double meaning. You know they have always found you attractive; the first things coming out of their mouth when they joined your friendgroup two years ago were, 'Oh wow.' and 'Jesus Christ.' with wide eyes and mouths hanging open.

Contrary to your ex, you never felt the need to cheat, even after acknowledging their beauty. It was always friendly, so it always stayed friendly. Except there is no romantic partner in the picture anymore...

'Thank you guys, I really appreciate it.' You say, reaching for your wine glass as you're in desperate need to escape the overwhelming feelings. You know you're single, but it feels so soon to already feel like this about other people.

As you're taking a big sip of the last bits of your wine, Heeseung and Jake simultaneously lean forward, almost like they cordinated it. 'Here, take the last shot. Think of it as drinking away the last bits of that asshole.' Heeseung say as he's stroking your hair and Jake pours the last of the soju in a shot glass.

A big sigh escapes your mouth as you lift the glass and take the shot. 'Fuck that asshole,' you comment as a weird sense of relief washes over you. 'That's my girl.' A blush creeps up your cheek as Heeseung's words register in your mind. Butterflies flying in your stomach and your core flexing.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬? 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴? You assume it's just the alcohol and the weight of the day. You swallow all the thoughts, including the quiet dirty ones, and stand up. 'I'm gonna go, thanks for cheering me up guys, I really appreciate it,' You smile at them, 'I gotta catch some sleep tho before work tomorrow.'

Just when you're standing by the door, ready to open it, you stop. Where are you gonna sleep? You live with your ex and you're not feeling like seeing him, especially not in this state.

Almost as if the two on the couch can read your mind they ask, 'And where are you gonna go?' You stand there for a few seconds. More so trying to sober up than actually think. That's when you immediately sober up when a hand grabs your wrist and turns you around.

Heeseung is standing right in front of you, his expression exposing a certain satisfaction, but you don't know for what. Jake comes closer too, but he's holding the keys to their apartment. Heeseung gently pulls you in so Jake can lock the apartment.

Due to your intoxicated imbalance, you land right on Heeseung's chest. Your free hand settles right on his chest to prevent your head from hitting him. You look up at him, eyes full with surprise and mouth slightly agape. Heeseung smiles, 'Like it, pretty girl?'

In even more shock you look at him. You try to stammer out something, anything, but you just can't. Right after Jake properly locks the door, he moves to stand right behind you. One of his hands comes to rest on your waist and the other tucks your hair behind your ear. 'Calm down, dear, we just want to show you how much better you deserve.'

'Wh-what's going on right now?' You eventuelly get out. 'Oh baby, we couldn't stand seeing you in that relationship.' 'It looked like he never knew how to properly please you. Did he even eat you out once?' A shriek gets past your lips, 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭? 𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴?

Your bewildered expression brings out a chuckle out of both the boys. 'Y/n, dear, it's so evident he didn't treat you right.' Heeseung states. 'H-how?' 'Trust me, we know how a pleased woman looks.' 'You want to find out for yourself?' Jake whispers in your ear.

Shivers spread throughout your entire body, a part of you feels bad to move on so quickly, but another part of you would fucking love to do it. It's true, your ex wasn't... the best. Never went down on you, focused more on him and only focused on you when your tits were involved. You accepted it all those years since you really did love him and he was perfect in every other aspect.

But the temptation of discovering how far Heeseung and Jake are willing to go, and how far they're willing to go for your pleasure, is growing stronger and stronger.

You nod, and then they smirk.

Heeseung grabs your cheeks softly and comes closer. You shut your eyes really tight and before your lips make contact with his, a small chuckle hits them. Heeseung finds you so adorable; so daring yet so nervous. Once his lips land on yours, you can't seem to let go.

It feels like Heeseung has casted a spell on you and the only thing you can think of are his lips. You don't allow him to stop, or even take a small break to catch his breath. Heeseung clocks what is going on and he can't help but grin. You're so needy.

As your mind is too clouded and the only thing on your mind are Heeseung's lips, you don't even notice Jake softly kissing your neck and pulling your waist closer to his groin. Jake steadily increases the kissing to more hot and wet kisses and slowly starts to grind against your ass, his cock getting more suffocated by the second.

Moans are exchanged from your and Heeseung's mouths, gasping as you finally become aware of what Jake is doing. You latch on to Heeseung's hair for any type of stability. He grunts as he grips your cheeks firmly with one hand, the other going to your wrist trying to release you hand, 'You like it rough, baby?'

Too embarrased, you close your eyes, bite your lip and nod so minute you kind of hope they don't notice. 'Fuck, babe, then you better hold on tight.' Jake murmers from behind.

Jake detaches you from Heeseung's lips and guides you with both hands on your waist to the couch. He spins you around before pushing you. Once you land you finally get to see Jake's face after that whole ordeal.

He looks hungry.

The man in front of you looks like he hasn't eaten in days. Mouth watering, eyes wandering. He licks his lips in a way similar to when you finally get to the delicious desert after a horrible main course. 'God you look so beautiful,' Jake says, unhurriedly closing the distance, almost teasing you. And it's working. Your panties are getting more and more slick and all these praises and petnames are making you go crazy.

Jake is hovering over you now, his face betraying the dilemma in his mind. 'You can touch me.' Eyes shoot up at you and as you two make eye contact, butterflies escape from your belly. He looked good... Like, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥. The starvation in his eyes makes you reconsider everything you've established in this friendship.

'Can I?' Jake asks meekly. You nod and not another moment is wasted before a pair of hands land on your waist. They promptly make their way to your boobs, hands massaging them like they're gifts from whichever god above sent them.

His wide eyes and open mouth snaps something lose inside of you. You swing one of your legs over his lower back and pull him in whilst simultaniously tugging at his shirt. You need friction, doesn't matter of what kind.

'Slow down, baby,' he pants, 'it's not your turn yet.' He slides his way down. His hands grab the back of your thighs firmly, showing you who's in charge. Without warning, he pushes your legs up to your chest, making you yelp. He pushes his face into your clothed cunt, licking at the spots that got stained from your wetness.

'Fuck, yes Jake,' you can't help but gasp. His hands are kneading your legs, his tongue sliding past you slick folds and swollen clit and sending vibrations from the back of his throat to your core. Jake's eyes are closed, really concentrating on making you feel good, but your eyes are strictly on him, anticipating every move.

Eyelids slowly rise, revealing a pussy drunk expression. It quickly turns into a wide smile, 'Was that good?' 'Good? You need to fuck her with your mouth 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 a piece of fabric in between, dumbass.' Heeseung sputters from a distance. He's sitting in a chair opposite the couch, manspreading and observing. 𝘍𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰...

Sudden movement makes your head snap back to Jake as he's effortlessly ripping off your pants. Once you're laying completely bare in front of him, he dives back in. His tongue slides between your folds and holds eye contact with you at the same time. A moan slips out and you grip his hair and let your head fall back. Jake leaves little kisses on he border of your hole, but eventually lands on your clit, swollen, red and aching for touch.

Small licks turn into kisses, however when you let out a whimper Jake's demeanor changes and he starts suctioning your clit. Swirling it with his tongue and moving it with his mouth to get your nerves really stimulated. 'Y/n, you taste so good baby,' Jake groans against your heat, 'will you be good to my tongue?' You nod hastily, not wanting anything else but to get tongue fucked by your friend with a beautiful and filthy mouth

Just when you feel Jake's tongue slide in, you feel an extra set of hands settle on your shoulders. You look up, noticeably enjoying the pleasure by the dazed look on your face. Heeseung chuckles, 'You're enjoying this, princess?' Only thing you can do is nod with starry eyes and a loose jaw.

Heeseung looks you deep into your eyes, picturing it in his mind so he can think of this moment in the future. He takes your jaw into his hand and bends down to place a soft kiss on your lips. He just wanted to tease you a bit, but you were desperate. You grab the back of his neck and continue kissing him. You feel his lips curl into a smile as the kiss deepens fast.

A whine falls from your lips as Jake hits the sweet spot inside you with his tongue, sending shivers down your spine and making you lightheaded. In return, Heeseung softly bites your lip to regain your attention which he quickly gets. He pulls away and says, 'You'll focus on me now, darling. His time has ran out.'

The clasp of his belt is briskly undone and his pants slide down in a swift motion. Even though he's still wearing boxers and you're seeing him upside down, you can tell he's big. He strokes your cheek following the look on your face, 'You can handle it, babe. I know you can.' You gulp before preparing yourself for what's to come.

As if in slow-motion, Heeseung takes of his boxers and his hard, thick, throbbing cock hits his stomach. You almost instinctively reach for his dick, and Heeseung doesn't stop you. With one hand still on Jake's hair, you start to slowly rub his tip. You keep your eyes on Heeseung's face. Every twitch, gasp and surpressed moan going straight to your pussy.

Slow strokes and small rubs to the back of his tip makes him wanna give in and just fuck you right now, but he doesn't. He forces himself to enjoy you jerking him off, even when your attention isn't fully on him. The only thing keeping him together are your eyes, your beautiful eyes, looking straight into his. Eyelashes shuttering so prettily without you even forcing them to do that.

Without warning, your strokes become deeper. Heeseung's cock jerks from the sudden pressure and a moan slips out. 'So pretty,' you manage to get out. Heeseung's mind becomes foggy, everything is starting to blur. He knew you had an effect on him, but this big? No, no he didn't know how much power you have over him.

As your pace starts to increase, you reach out to catch his balls in your mouth. The sight is so beautiful, a low groan slips from Heeseung. Your tongue swirls around his balls, getting them completely soaked in your saliva. Your mouth leaves his balls and the immediate cold has Heeseung whining for more.

Not long after, you plant kisses all over his balls. His length now slightly resting on your face as your hand is playing with his tip. 'Shit, baby, let me fuck that pretty mouth please.' Your face beams, you're loving every second of Heeseung's desperation.

However the eye contact is broken as a whimper comes out of your mouth and your eyes shoot to the man in between your legs. His eyes dark as he softly bites your clit again. 'Is it time to fuck your sweet pussy?' Jake questions with his voice so low, it rasps a little. 'Fuck, Jake, put that cock in me,' you give him exactly what he wants.

His poor dick has been grinding against the couch, wishing to be in Heeseung's position for far too long. Your pussy tastes amazing, but the way your hole clenched his tongue as he tongue-fucked you made his self-restrain grow thinner and thinner. His clothes are off in a second and as he's pumping is already leaking penis, he watches you and Heeseung get undressed too.

Once it's time for your bra, both Heeseung and Jake watch you like wolves examining their prey. You're not dumb, you notice them looking at you with such intense, lustful eyes. So you put on a show. Your fingers are slow to unhook your clasp. Once it's unattached, you slip your arms out of the straps, but you hold your breasts as to not expose them prematurely.

'Take them off.' Jake's voice is stern as he's stroking his dick. You smirk before dropping your bra. You hear stubby growls from above and below you. Both boys rubbing themselves, waiting to see what the other is gonna do to you. And then... the moment changes.

Both boys try their best to reach you first, Jake almost climbs over you and Heeseung dips his upper body. They claim their own boob and start making you feel good. Jake is sucking on your nipple whilst moaning into your tit and looking up at you with already fucked-out, puppy eyes. Heeseung is biting your nipple, liking the jolts he sends your body into. Your boobs jiggles everytime Heeseung slightly gnaws at it and it's making the two boys go crazy.

Suddenly, you feel a finger go back down your heat. Jake can't stop touching you, he has to touch you. He starts fingering you again, his long fingers reaching your G-spot, making your back arch beautifully. 'Fuck, oh my god,' your moans come out like symphonies. Heeseung starts to suck so hard on your tits, he's trying to make hickeys, marking you his instead of Jake.

Jake quickly catches onto what Heeseung's doing. You start making different sounds and he's not doing anything differently. Jake can't stand Heeseung's attempt. 'Baby, please let me fuck you,' Jake asks with that innocent expression. You nod your head, needing more than just his fingers.

He pulls back and like lightening positions himself back between your thighs, this time with his leaking cock facing your pussy. Heeseung pulls back quickly too. 'Open up, pretty,' Heeseung lightly taps your cheek. You look back down to Jake and nod. Jake doesn't wait another second to enter you ahead of Heeseung.

It's warm, tight, yet comforting. Jake has to do everything in his power to not cum immediately. He's jerked off to all sorts of scenario's where he's fucking you so many times, but in none of those sessions did he imagine your cunt to be so tight, so good, so addictive.

Right after Jake entered your pussy, you throw your head back and stick out your tongue erotically to invite Heeseung in. All he does is smirk before putting it in. Jake might be the first to feel you, but he's so focused on your insides that he doesn't notice your gorgeous face twisting and scrunching in pleasure. Heeseung gets front row seats to the most beautiful view he could've ever imagined whilst he's getting his dick wet by your lustful tongue.

Heeseung starts of slow. He wants to make sure you can handle two cocks attached to two horny bastards who barely have any self-discipline to not fuck you unruly until the sun comes up. Jake has already lost his control as sweat beads start forming on his forehead. You take it well, face contorted into ecstasy and moans sending soft, low vibrations that Heeseung's dick catches.

Bit by bit, Heeseung increases the tempo. 'Good girl, taking us so well,' Heeseung coos, stroking your cheek that's revealing a slight blush. You grab Heeseung just below the hips and pull him closer. You want more of him. You want all of him. You look up at him with pleading eyes.

'Someone's needy, huh?' Heeseung mocks you, head tilting and a pout slowly appearing. He loves everything that's happening right now. You're getting destroyed by his best friend's cock and you still want more. Your eyes, mouth, hands, everything is begging 𝘩𝘪𝘮 for more. And he gives it to you.

His hands land on your jaw. 'You ready, baby?' He asks in a soft voice while stroking his thumb over your cheek to comfort you. You nod lively. You don't care how hard Heeseung is with you, you need it. You need both of your holes abused by their cocks.

So Heeseung goes at it. His facial expression switched to a more serious, yet horny look. He slams his dick deep into your throat, setting the tone. You take all of him. His penis is so big, you feel him go so deep, you feel the prominent vein on his right side, you feel everything.

Seeing the paradise Heeseung is sends you almost over the edge, and Jake can feel it. You hear Jake curse under his breath as you clench down.

The two of them are fucking you from either end of you, Jake pounding your clenched pussy and Heeseung humping your mouth. The stimulation is almost overwhelming, and you let them know. Your eyes roll back, thighs are shaking and even though your mouth is busy, the muffled noises coming out are as lewd as you can get. Never has sex felt this good.

Jake is going at high speeds, because he has no patience for a slow buildup. His hands on your waist for balance and a steady rhytym. He, however, can't ignore the fact how small you look under him. His cock pulses a little at the thought and the whines start to spill out of his mouth as Jake is slowly starting to lose control. His motions become sloppy and your cunt grows more and more irresistable. He decides to try and disctract himself to make sure he lasts longer.

Wrong decision.

He looks up and sees Heeseung throat fucking you. And you taking 𝘢𝘭𝘭 of it. He can't see your eyes, but he imagines them teary-eyed. Heeseung is a little bigger than Jake, but Jake is confident he can make you feel good like that too.

Next his eyes focus on your boobs. They're bouncing uncontrollably. The sight going directly to Jake's dick. He grabs your tits a little rough, for if he looked at it just a little longer, he'd be sure he would be spurting so much cum, no birth-control could protect you.

The whole scene is so pornographic, Jake can barely keep it together any longer. He speeds up even more in the hopes to get you to climax first, he needs to see you climax first. And it works. The new-found momentum makes your back arch and loud whines escape from your lips. Your head feels light and heavy at the same time, your stomach like it's about to explode and all feeling in your legs disappeared.

Then, something snaps...

Waves of pleasure crashing all over you, your mind escaping into cloud nine, your lower body starts to shake violently, euphoric sensation overwhelms your core, your hands grip Jake's wrist mercilessly, and your mouth completely abandoning it's mission on Heeseung's dick.

Right after, Jake's orgasm came. He continued fucking your even tighter hole, groaning and moaning as he pushed all of his cum deep inside you. He wanted to make sure you could see his marking on you.

Heeseung was the only one yet to cum, but it wouldn't take long. The scene unfolding in front of him alone could almost make him cum. He grabbed your cheeks with one hand, making sure he doesn't lose the wet, spongy mouth he's been pounding into. You happily let him as you see a new animalistic side of Heeseung. He's so determined it's almost making you wet again.

'Mmph, yes, keep your mouth there,' Heeseung grumbles. You suction your mouth a little more and move your tongue along his cock, which is still hitting you in the back of your throat. 'Aah shit, you're gonna make me cum.'

Not even a minute later, Heeseung starts to moan more frequently and you feel his penis twitching. He pulls his dick from your mouth and starts pumping it violently. 'Cum on my face, Hee.'

That's everything Heeseung needed to hear as he releases ropes of cum onto your face, painting it. More moans fill up the room, but it's not just Heeseung. The warmth of his release, the look on his face and the afterglow makes you enjoy it so much, a moan or two slips out.

As all three of you just came, you look at each other. Nothing is said, but smiles are exchanged. 'Do you want us to help you clean up, dear?' Heeseung breaks the silence. 'That'd be nice.,' you say with a sweet smile. The boys gently clean you up as they bombard you with praises and finish the night with cuddles. All three of you already agreeing to do this again.

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝! <𝟑

[sttoru]

⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. your boyfriend doesn’t like it when you eat unhealthy food while busy with uni work.

tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff. age gap (reader around early 20’s, satoru early 30’s). behavior may come off as ‘overprotective’ to some. nicknames ‘baby, sweetheart, princess’. not proofread

satoru’s at work while you’re in his kitchen, preparing a quick meal for yourself. you’ve been busy making and finishing assignments all day. you really could do with a break. though, a short one. there’s still lots more to do before you’re done with everything mandatory.

it’s convenient that satoru allows you to stay over at his apartment whenever you want to. he’s given you a spare key and told you that his home is also yours. if you need a break from your own place, you can always stop by his.

“ah, crap,” you hiss as the sauce packet nearly bursts open in your hand due to how roughly you pulled on its edges. you season your instant ramen noodles without much thought. it’s a quick meal that saves you time.

you’ve had it four days a row now—along with some pizza slices here and there. your boyfriend has been nice enough to send you money, telling you to treat yourself to some decent food while he’s away on business, but you’re really just too busy to treat yourself.

satoru’d be upset if he knew that you’re living off unhealthy crap again. the last time he caught you, he prepared you homemade meals or took you out to restaurants for weeks. he needs you to ingest your daily nutritions so you can stay healthy. you’re too important to him and he wants the best for you.

you grab your chopsticks and mix the sauce with the noodles, your spotify playlist running in the background. you walk to the fridge and grab a soda before sitting down at the kitchen table. unlocking your phone, you decide to see if anything’s going on on social media.

you’re too focused on your screen and the food entering your mouth to notice the front door opening. you catch a glimpse of a figure in the corner of your eye and your head flies up. a bit too late..

“ah, hi, satoru,” you mumble with a mouthful of ramen noodles. you’re caught off guard and you barely know what to do as the white-haired man puts his keys in his pockets. you put your phone down and discreetly try to cover your bowl, “didn’t know you’d come back so early.”

too bad you didn’t think of opening a window or throwing away the opened package of instant ramen. satoru looks over at the messy counter before walking towards you. he reaches a hand out to your cheek, brushing your thumb against your skin.

“hi, pretty,” satoru greets you with a gentle smile. he leans down and presses a kiss onto your lips, tongue stealing a taste of the sauce on your mouth. he pulls back and pinches the cheek he’s holding, “mind telling me what you’re eating, hm?”

you pout and swallow the bite of noodles you had in your mouth. you put your hands down, knowing there’s no hiding anything from your boyfriend. he dislikes the fact that you’re not taking your health seriously. “instant ramen. . .” you respond defeatedly.

satoru ruffles your hair with a shake of his head, silently disapproving of your actions. “i’ve given you money to get a proper meal, didn’t i, baby?” the older man explains in the same tender tone. he doesn’t have the heart to be mad at you. he crouches down next to the chair you’re sitting on and kisses your knuckles, each getting a peck.

“yeah, ‘m sorry,” you nod, knowing your lover did his part of taking care of you. he gave you money to spend on food or ingredients, but you still chose the easy way out. it’s not like you’ve been craving noodles—you’re eating them for the sole reason being that they’re fast and easy to make. you’re too busy (and lazy) to go out and buy stuff.

satoru chuckles, not really mad at you at all. he’s simply worried for your wellbeing. he sees how hard you work for uni while also making time to spend with him, no matter how little it may be. “it’s okay, it’s okay,” satoru coos and kisses your forehead before getting up.

the sorcerer looks down at the bowl of noodles before glancing back at you. “do you want to finish it or do you want me to make you something?” he asks whilst playing with the little hairs around your face. you’re beautiful, somehow even more gorgeous with those dark circles under your eyes.

you pout and think about his question. you’re tired of eating the same thing four times in a row and you know how good satoru’s cooking can be, so. . .

“can you make me something?” you ask carefully in a quiet tone, flashing your boyfriend your best puppy eyes, “pretty please?”

satoru grins and nods immediately. he’s always happy to help you out when you need it. “of course. anything for my princess,” he coos and squeezes your cheeks one last time. he’s got an obsession with the way you scrunch your nose up every time he does so.

he grabs the bowl of noodles and puts it away after making sure you didn’t want any more of it. sure, he wants the best for you, but he doesn’t want to be too restrictive. in case you still want to steal a bit, satoru puts the bowl in the corner of the counter.

you walk to satoru as he stands near the fridge. you rub your weary eyes and watch as he grabs the needed items to make your favorite comfort meal. he catches you staring at him and he smirks lovingly.

“oh my, i have such an adorable girlfriend,” the older man holds himself back from squeezing your cheeks together again. he holds your wrist and pulls you flush against him, his head leaning down to match your eye level.

satoru plants a quick kiss on your lips. his hand finds it way on your hips before slithering upwards. he pats your back, gently comforting and encouraging you, his other hand doing the same on the back of your head. he knows how hard it is for you these days, with the busy end of the semester and all.

“love you, ‘toru, thank you,” you smile at him and nuzzle your face into his chest. you really needed a distraction from all the hard work you still have to do. a quick break with the person you cherish most will gain you back all the energy you’ve lost.

satoru hugs you even tighter to him when you utter those magical words. if he could, he’d take care of you every single second of the day. he’d do anything to make you feel better. he places a peck to your forehead, “i love you too, sweetheart. but promise me one thing; please take better care of yourself, ‘kay?”