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a song of past romance a royal / greek au gojo fic

pairing âžș suitor/king!gojo x princess!reader
summary âžș king gojo satoru of ithaca travels to sparta, seeking to win over who they say is the most beautiful mortal woman's heart. so when he sees you upon his arrival weaving under an olive tree, looking goddess-sent, he immediately loses the plot and concludes that it must be you that the tales and legends must talk about. it is not, but gojo has chosen who his queen will be. as gojo continues to break down your walls with his endless devotion and silver tongue, you must decide: will you let duty and your loved ones's expectations decide your fate, or will you choose the man who would defy even the heavens to claim you as his queen ?
warnings âžș smut, p i v sex, oral f recieving, whimpering gojo agenda <3, fluff, a big of angst if you squint, some insecurity, pining, banterTM, gojo is really whipped for reader, odypen inspired (this one's for my epic/pjo baddies), extensive greek mythology knowledge not needed, athena is tired of gojo lol, jealousy, helen is a sassy diva, not totally accurate to the lore of the illiad bc i just use the premise, mentions of children/pregnancy at the end if you squint, semi edited, art by @/yunonoaii
a/n my hyperfixation made me write this lol. you dont need to know anything about greek mythology to read this fic it's more of a period piece / royal au :3
general masterlist
You had registered the young manâs presence for quite some time now.
Ever since your beloved cousin Helenâthe most beautiful woman in the world, the kallikomos, kalliparÄios Helenâhad come of age, your palace had been plagued by an unceasing tide of suitors. Even a respite alone in the garden, in peace, was not guaranteed to you; just as the ivory haired suitor (who thought himself furitive) that had been sneaking and skirting around you for a while now, there were countless of men on the palace grounds desperate to even get a glimpse of what the countless legends and tales about Helen had described.
Though, you werenât jealous of your lovely cousinâyou loved her to death. But it was getting on your nerves, because you had hoped for a quiet evening relaxing under the olive tree you were sitting in. This mn, however, was different.
For some time now, the ivory-haired suitor had been skirting the edges of your sanctuary, moving as though he thought himself invisible. You could feel his gaze, sharp and intent, as you alternated between weaving and reading. His persistence should have irritated you. And yet, there was something amusing about his poor attempt at stealth.
The telltale rustle of grass betrayed him once again. You sighed, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear before reaching up to gather it all, baring the curve of your neck to the evening breeze.
The stalker suitor tripped with a loud thud.
You blinked. Then, sighing once more, you set down your spindle and turned. "I know youâre there," you called, unimpressed.
Silence, then a low chuckle.
When he finally stepped into the open, your disinterested gaze liftedâand promptly widened.
Tall. Broad-shouldered. The build of a warrior, yet the face of a prince. A mischievous, almost boyish charm softened the sharp lines of his features, but his striking blue eyes gleamed with something untamed.
Helen would have a field day with him. Like that one thing she said about how she looovedd versatile men, the ones that could manhandle you but also whimper. Or whatever.
Then, to your utter shock, he dropped to one knee, extending his hand toward you in a bold gesture of devotion. His demeanor was confident, but you saw him sporting a hue of pink on his cheeks. It was rather cute, but any feelings of fondness disappeared at his next words.
"Oâ Helenâ" the suitor began, his voice rich with reverence, "fairest of all women, whose beauty outshines even the dawnâ"
You exhaled sharply through your nose. Of course.
"âpermit me but a moment to bask in your radiance, for no mortal man could gaze upon you and remain unchangedâ"
Your fingers curled tightly around the threads of your spindle.
"âgrant me the honor ofâ"
"Try again," you cut in, your voice deceptively sweet.
The suitor paused mid-sentence, blinking up at you.
"Pardon?"
You raised an unimpressed brow, tilting your head. "If youâre going to wax poetic, you might at least direct it toward the right woman."
His lips parted, then pressed into a puzzled frown. He tilted his head, sharp blue eyes scanning your face as if trying to decipher a riddle. "But⊠you are Helen," he said slowly, as if testing the words.
You let out a short laugh, shaking your head. "Afraid not."
A pause.
His gaze flickered over you again, as if he could will you into being Helen just by staring hard enough. "Are you sure?"
You gave him a look. "I would hope I know my own name."
His brows drew together, clearly struggling to process this revelation. "But youâreâyouâre sitting under an olive tree, looking vaguely divine. Your hair caught the light just now in a way that seemed very⊠goddess-sent. You have the whole tragic air of someone who is probably devastatingly beautiful and sought after by hundreds."
You blinked, trying to fight the heat creeping up your neck. You shouldnât be affected by his bromides, for his words must be a ploy to gain back his image after offending you. "Is that supposed to be an apology?"
He squinted. "More like a logical assessment of my mistake."
You sighed. "Well, your 'logical assessment' is incorrect."
He sat back on his heels, regarding you with blatant skepticism. "I donât know," he said slowly. "I came here for Helen. Youâre here. And you're lovely. Seems like a very Helen thing to do."
You gave him a flat stare in return. "What, exist?"
"Exactly."
You rolled your eyes. "I see why they make you fight instead of think."
At that, the suitor huffed a short laugh, his earlier embarrassment giving way to something more amused, more interested. "Alright," he conceded, crossing his arms over his knee. "If you arenât Helen, then who are you?"
You leaned back against the tree, allowing yourself a small, satisfied smirk. "The woman you just proposed to by accident."
He blinked. Then groaned, dragging a hand down his face. "The gods are laughing at me."
"As they should," you replied smoothly.
To your surprise, he grinned. "That makes two of us, then," he mused, tilting his head at you. "I get the feeling you enjoy seeing men suffer."
A non committal hum from you. âMaybe, maybe not.â With that, you began weaving once more, giving him the signal that his presence and platitudes were no longer needed.
Yet, he remained.
You could feel his gaze lingering, heavy with an amusement that refused to wane. He had the look of someone thoroughly entertained, and that irritated you more than anything. Having conversed with him, you knew he was sharper than the average suitorâquick-witted, quicker still to recover from his blunders. Though he had not done anything to overtly suggest it, there was something about him that set him apart. It was a feelingâan air around him, something god-graced.
You paid it no mind.
He had not meant for you to be the one on the receiving end of his affection, and it would do you no good to cling to a man who had come here seeking another. He was meant to lose his mind over Helen, not take interest in you.
"Tell me your name," he said suddenly, breaking the silence.
You didn't pause in your weaving. "Why?"
A short huff of laughter. "I figure if Iâm already embarrassing myself in front of a woman, I should at least know which one."
You shot him a sidelong glance, unimpressed. "Bold of you to assume youâll be staying long enough for it to matter."
His grin deepened. "Well, now I have to stay, just to prove you wrong."
You sighed, shaking your head. "Youâre insufferable."
"Iâve been told worse," he admitted. Then, leaning forward just slightly, he added, "Though never by a woman whose name I donât know."
You lifted a brow at him, unimpressed. "And do you have a name, then, mysterious suitor?"
His expression shifted, something proud yet teasing gleaming in those striking blue eyes.
"Gojo Satoru," he declared, as if it should mean something to you. "Of Ithaca."
You hummed, as if considering. "Never heard of it."
He blinked, then scoffed. "Never heard of Ithaca?" He placed a hand over his chest in mock offense. "A land of brilliant minds, fierce warriors, and some say the most handsome men to ever walk the earthâ"
"Ah," you interjected, dry. "That explains it."
He smirked. "Explains what?"
"Why Iâve never heard of it."
A beat of silence. Then, to your dismay, he laughedâfully, unabashedly, as if youâd just handed him the greatest gift in the world.
You huffed, returning your attention to your weaving. "Now that you have a name to be proud of, surely you can be on your way."
"Not yet," he said, far too easily.
You didnât look up. "Why?"
"Because you havenât given me yours."
You didnât miss the way his voice dipped, taking on something smoother, something more coaxing. He was trying to charm it out of you, as if your name was a prize worth winning.
"Perhaps I simply donât wish to give it," you mused, feigning disinterest.
"Perhaps youâre afraid," he countered.
You did look up at that, leveling him with an unimpressed stare. "Afraid?"
He shrugged, utterly unbothered. "That if I know your name, Iâll never forget it." His gaze flickered to your hands, to the weaving that had slowed ever so slightly. "And maybe⊠neither will you."
You forced yourself to resume your work, your fingers steady despite the odd flutter in your chest. "You think too highly of yourself, Gojo Satoru of Ithaca."
"Iâm told itâs my greatest flaw," he admitted, smirking. "Wellâone of many."
You ignored him, the rhythmic motion of your weaving serving as a convenient distraction.
Gojo exhaled, as if relentingâthough something told you he was nowhere near finished with you. He rocked back on his heels, eyeing you with unconcealed interest. "Alright, mystery woman," he drawled. "If you wonât give me your name, I suppose Iâll have to keep guessing."
You didn't dignify that with a response.
But somehow, you knewâthis would not be the last time Gojo Satoru of Ithaca sought you out.
He had yet to claim your name.
No matter how cunningly he pried, no matter how sweetly he coaxed, you remained steadfast, denying him that small but significant victory.
Satoru had undoubtedly set sail for Sparta in search of a worthy challenge and a faithful brideâbut he had not expected to find both in one woman. You were a puzzle, divine and elusive, a riddle spun by the Fates themselves. And for a man who relished the thrill of unraveling mysteries, you were the most captivating enigma he had ever encountered.
Not since the day he bested the enchanted boarâa feat that had drawn Athenaâs keen eye and earned him her favorâhad he felt such a rush.
Heâd dare say you were the first one heâs felt an affinity for, despite the countless of women and candidates he had faced ever since becoming the king of Ithaca.
But before he could ponder more on the thought, he sensed a presence, tensing immediately. Heavy-set footsteps, trying to be quiet in the hallway they were both in.
Satoru crossed his arms, halted where he was. âI know youâre there.â
A laugh barked out in a deep voice. âPerceptive like they say, Gojo Satoru of Ithaca.â
Satoru watched as Toji Fushiguro sauntered toward him, his movements unhurried, yet carrying the unmistakable confidence of a seasoned warrior. The man was broad-shouldered, his presence commanding, the kind of brute who could cleave a man in half with a single swing of his blade. Yet his grinâsharp, knowingâheld more calculation than recklessness.
Toji came to a stop before him, arms crossed, weight shifted onto one foot like he had all the time in the world, smirking. "No wonder Athenaâs got her eye on you."
Satoru tilted his head, feigning nonchalance. "I do have a way of impressing gods and mortals alike," he mused. "Though I imagine you didnât come all this way just to admire me."
âJust assessing the competition,â Toji hums in response, eyes still assessing Satoru. He was trying to plan three steps ahead; unfortunately for him, Satoru was ten steps ahead.
âThere is no competition,â comes Satoruâs cool response.
Toji studied Satoru for a moment, his sharp green eyes narrowing slightly. Then, with an amused scoff, he asked, "Youâre not here to fight for Helenâs hand? Are you crazy?â
Satoru let out a low chuckle, shaking his head as if the very thought was amusing. "Helen?" he echoed, letting the name roll from his tongue with deliberate care. He lifted a hand, absently brushing an imaginary speck of dust from his sleeve. "No, Iâm afraid I have no interest in her."
Toji studied him, eyes narrowing. "Sheâs the most beautiful woman in the world."
Satoru did not deny it. "So they say."
"And yet," Toji pressed, his tone skeptical, "you arenât here for her?"
Satoru finally looked at him properly, his head tilting, his gaze alight with something teasing, something unreadable. "Not in the way you are." He let the words settle between them before continuing, his tone almost indulgent. "Youâre welcome to her."
Tojiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. His instincts told him Satoru was not lying, yet something about the Ithacanâs expression, the way he carried himself, the glint in those striking blue eyesâit all made him wary. He had met many warriors in his time, but this was no brute with a sword, no hotheaded prince desperate to claim a prize.
Satoru Gojo was something else entirely.
"So what is it, then?" Toji asked, crossing his arms tighter, his voice edged with suspicion. "You sailed all this way, and for what? A festival?"
Satoruâs smirk deepened, his expression inscrutable. "Letâs just say Sparta has given me a rather interesting puzzle."
Toji scoffed but let it drop, running a hand through his dark hair. "Whatever," he muttered. "If you're really not here for Helen, then maybe you can help me."
Satoru hummed in vague interest. "Oh?"
"I intend to win her," Toji stated plainly. "But I could use an extra hand in ensuring things go my way."
Satoru did not answer immediately. Instead, he turned his gaze upward, as though admiring the vaulted ceilings of the hall, as though considering some grander design that only he could see. Then, with the ease of a man wholly unbothered by the concerns of others, he exhaled through his nose, the beginnings of a smile playing at the corners of his lips.
"Don't worry about it," he said at last, his voice rich with something almost too smooth, too assured. "Everything is already falling into place."
Toji stiffened slightly at the words, his war-honed instincts bristling at their implication. He did not like things he could not predict, and Gojo Satoru of Ithaca was proving to be as unreadable as the gods themselves.
His brows lowered. "And what the hell does that mean?"
But Satoru only laughed, turning on his heel, the faintest shimmer of torchlight catching in his silver-white hair.
"Guess youâll just have to wait and see."
And with that, he strode off, his footsteps unhurried, leaving Toji standing in the flickering shadows, frowning after him.
The great hall of Sparta was alive with the clash of bronze and the roars of men. The suitors, assembled from all corners of Greece, fought with a desperation that could only belong to those who sought glory and the hand of Helen. Blades flashed, spears thrust, and the resounding clamor of shields meeting shields filled the air like the din of battle.
Satoru Gojo of Ithaca stood at the edge of the fray, watching with a detached amusement. He had not drawn his blade, nor did he so much as feign interest in the chaos unfolding before him. Instead, his arms were loosely crossed, his posture relaxed, his sharp blue gaze studying each warrior as though they were mere pieces on a game board.
Meanwhile, you and Helen watched from the shade of a marble colonnade, seated atop a cushioned bench where servants had arranged fruits and wine for the both of you. But neither of you reached for the offerings; your gazes remained transfixed on the chaos below.
You shook your head at the ridiculous display. "It must be nice to be fought for by so many men," you murmured, resting your chin in your palm.
Helen sighed daintilyâin a way that was so typically Helen it made you smile fondlyâher hair catching the afternoon light like threads spun from the sun itself. âI will admit that it has its advantages.â
You cast her a dry look before gesturing at the men below. âHelen,â you shook your head, sighing exasperatedly, âtheyâre savages. Theyâre beating each other senselessly. Does this not disgust you?â Instead, your cousinâs beautiful lips curled up in a knowing smile, teasing you, âJealous, my dear cousin?â
âNo.â But the answer came a little too quickly, a little too defensively. The yells and violence was a display of brutishnessâbut you would not be truthful to yourself if you didnât admit that you were a bit envious of the attention your cousin was getting.
However, one would be a fool to confuse your sentiments for bitternessâas a princess yourself, there were no shortage of men who would be here to get you as a prize, if they did not get Helen. No shortage of men wondering who is he? Who is the man whoâll have the princess as his wife?
But unfortunately, it seemed that your father, the Spartan king Icarius, had other plans, for he would not let any man be your husband so easily. In fact, he did not wish you to marry and be taken away from him.
It was safe to say that not much male attention was on you due to this obstacle.
Helen showed no reaction to your response, but only hummed. âThis fightingâsooner or later, youâre going to be in my shoes. Youâre going to have to choose at one point, too, my dear.â
âSays who?â You scoffed, turning your eyes back to the courtyard. âDo not forget Helen, these men want power. Power so they can tower above each other, place themselves above all others.â
Helen shrugged. âSo what?â
You shook your head. âSilly Helen. Wouldnât you prefer some intellectual prowess over someâŠsavage?â
Before Helen could reply, a shift in the air drew both of your attention back to the courtyard.
The chaos had stilled, if only for a moment. A singular figure stood at the center of it all, his ivory hair catching the wind, his stance languid yet poised.
That suitor.
The gathered nobles whispered among themselves, exchanging glances as Satoru approached the high table where the King of Sparta, Tyndareus, sat watching. The aged king stroked his beard, his expression unreadable as the Ithacan prince stopped before him, offering a bow that barely concealed the glint of mischief in his eyes.
"Your Majesty," Satoru began smoothly, "it seems we have our victor. But before we move forward, I believe there is an agreement that must be made."
The murmurs in the hall grew louder. Tyndareus narrowed his eyes slightly. "Speak, Gojo of Ithaca."
Satoru straightened, clasping his hands behind his back. "These men have come from every kingdom in Greece, each seeking the honor of marrying your daughter. Such a prize, however, comes with its dangers. Whoever wins Helenâs hand will earn not just her love but the envy and ire of the rest." He paused, letting the weight of his words settle over the hall. "If left unchecked, this jealousy could lead to war."
Tyndareusâs jaw tightened. It was a concern he himself had harbored, though few had dared to speak it outright.
Satoruâs lips curled at the edges, his voice turning smooth, persuasive. "I propose an oath. Let every suitor here, whether victorious or defeated, swear allegiance to Helenâs chosen husband. Let them vow, upon the gods, to uphold this union and defend it should any outside force seek to undo it. In doing so, Sparta ensures peace among the great kingdoms, rather than sows the seeds of discord."
Silence fell over the hall. The assembled nobles exchanged glances, the weight of the proposal heavy in the air. Even Toji, ever the warrior, raised a brow in consideration.
Tyndareus studied Satoru for a long moment, his fingers tapping against the armrest of his throne. Then, slowly, he nodded. "You are wise beyond your years, Gojo of Ithaca. Your proposal is sound. Let it be done."
A herald stepped forward, calling for the gathered suitors to kneel. One by one, they bent the knee, placing their hands over their hearts, swearing their loyalty to Helenâs future husband, binding themselves to an oath that would shape the course of history.
As the final echoes of the vow rang through the hall, Satoru turned his gaze to Toji, his smirk deepening ever so slightly. The pieces were falling into place, just as he had foreseen.
Meanwhile, in your placeâwhere you and Helen were spectating the whole event away from common sightâHelen nudged you slightly, voice hushed in interest you hadnât seen her display for any suitor yet. âDid you see thatâthe way he sweet talked my father?â Her gentle eyes widened in a way that could kill a man. âWho is he?â
You had no answer. Because, truthfully, you were wondering the same thing.
The palace gardens were quiet at this hour, bathed in the golden glow of the late afternoon sun. The scent of myrrh and olive trees lingered in the air, mixing with the faint salt of the distant sea. You sat with Helen beneath the shade of a vine-laden pergola, her back pressed against your legs as you wove your fingers through her silken strands, carefully braiding them into an intricate plait.
Helen, ever the restless one, sighed dramatically. âDo you suppose I should be flattered or terrified?â
You didnât have to ask what she meant. The courtyard had been in an uproar for hours after the suitorsâ oath had been sworn. Servants gossiped in hushed tones, and noblewomen tittered behind their veils. The future queen of Sparta had just gained the loyalty of every warrior presentâwhether she wanted it or not.
âWhy not both?â you mused, separating another section of her hair.
Helen laughed, tossing her head slightly. âIt is one thing to be the object of admiration. It is quite another to be the cause of bloodshed.â
You hummed in acknowledgment, though your fingers stilled when she spoke again, voice full of mischief.
âDid you see him?â
You resumed braiding. âWho?â
Helen turned just enough to throw you an incredulous look. âWho?â she repeated, mockingly. âAs if you do not know exactly who I speak of. Gojo Satoru of Ithaca.â
You clicked your tongue. âOh, him.â
âOh, him?â Helen scoffed. âDo not play coy, cousin. He commanded that entire courtyard without lifting a blade.â
You smiled, but she could not see you. âThat only proves he is cunning,â you pointed out, keeping your voice neutral.
âThat proves he is powerful,â Helen countered, shifting as you tugged lightly at her braid. âHe held those men in the palm of his hand.â
Barking out a laugh, you continued your work. âOr perhaps he simply enjoys hearing himself speak.â
Helen laughed, tilting her head back against your lap. âYou wound me with your dullness. Do you not see? There was something about him. He has the air of a man accustomed to winning.â
You tried not to scowl. Of course he did.
And if Helen had her eye on him, there was no chance for you.
The thought settled in your chest like a stone.
It was not as though you had entertained any hopesâbut you were not blind. The way he had looked at you in the hallways, the way he had tried to coax your name from you, the way he had seemed amused by your defiance. It had sparked something treacherous inside of you, something unspoken and foolish.
Because no man, no matter how powerful or wise, would ever choose you over Helen.
You forced your thoughts aside and tightened the braid. âAnd what of Toji Fushiguro?â you asked lightly, forcing the subject to change. âI noticed you watching him as well.â
Helen hummed, pleased with the shift in conversation. âA brute, but a striking one. I imagine he fights as well as he looks.â
You snorted. âI imagine he thinks with his fists.â
âAll the better,â Helen teased. âI should not mind a warrior who throws me over his shoulder and carries me off.â
You rolled your eyes, but you giggled regardless. âYou are insufferable.â
Helen twisted, kneeling so that you were now face to face. She reached for your hair, her fingers beginning to weave it into a braid of your own.
âYou say I am insufferable, but you have yet to deny that Gojo Satoru is worth admiring,â she murmured.
You sighed exasperatedly, looking anywhere except for your cousinâs eyes. âMust we discuss this?â
Helenâs fingers worked deftly, her expression smug. âIt is only natural to discuss the most intriguing men.â
âAnd yet I am sure you are doing it to torment me.â
âPerhaps a little.â Helenâs grin softened as she studied you. âYou would not be so opposed to him if you did not find him interesting.â
You swallowed, looking away. âThat is notââ
âYou braid my hair with such care,â she interrupted, looping another section of yours. âAnd yet, you guard your own thoughts as if I am the enemy.â
You closed your eyes briefly, inhaling the scent of lavender and sun-warmed stone. Helen had always been perceptive when she wished to be.
âThere is nothing to guard,â you murmured.
Helen merely smiled, finishing your braid with a satisfied tug.
But the knowing look in her eyes unsettled you more than any battle in the courtyard ever could.
Despite coming for Helen, Satoru continuously seeks your presence.
Your presence is intoxicating, even the smallest of glimpses of you enough to induce a feeling, one heâd liken to eating the godsâ ambrosia or drinking the finest nectar. Every time he saw you, it was passing moments in the hallways of the palace or sneaked glances while you were in the gardenâyour chin up, posture proud. Your eyes downcast as if you had no interest in the countless of men among you. The light only returned when you were weaving, or discussing with your cousin.
But Satoru had not been able to see you more than just those miniscule, fleeting momentsâit was your accursed father that kept an eye on you during dinners, his withered glare threatening all suitors, as if to remind them: Youâre here for Helen, and keep my daughter out of this, for she is not a prize you can easily win.
Little did he know Satoru loved challenges.
So he thanks the gods that an annual Spartan festival is thoroughly celebrated in the palace today.
The hall is the spitting image of revelry. Men adorn their finest tunics while women have braids of flowers and cloths, wine, fresh fruits, and meat are plentiful on all tables. Thereâs singing, thereâs dancing, and, best of all, thereâs you.
Satoruâs been observing you for quite some time now. It wouldnât be fair to call it something akin to a predator stalking his prey; no, you far from being bested by Satoru. More like a bird waiting for all the weaker mates to filter themselves out.
They were like peacocks, the men that came up to you, with the way they flared their artificial grandeur. Each time a young man sat next to you, you remained aloof, giving them nothing but a bunch of polite glances and nods. But it was clear that what ever your responses or questions were, they were nonplussed. Satoru almost felt bad for the fools if it werenât for how they were encroaching on his time to finally talk to you.
It was the opening that a particularly witless and brutish man had given himâthe guy basically leaves the seat next to you, almost in tears from whatever you had said to him, but you only blinked as Satoru approached.
Satoru slid into the recently vacated seat beside you with the grace of a man who had never been denied anything in his life. He draped an arm over the back of his chair, all effortless ease, as if he had been waiting for this moment all night.
"Whatever you said to him, Iâd like to hear it," he mused, his lips quirking in amusement. "Though I do hope you go a little easier on meâIâm rather sensitive, you see."
Your gaze flickered to him, unimpressed, though there was something almost imperceptible in your eyesâmild intrigue, perhaps.
"If you are so easily wounded, Your Majesty, then I fear you are not prepared for a Spartan womanâs words."
His grin widened. "Oh, but I live for danger."
You hummed, noncommittal, before returning your attention to the food before you. Satoru, however, found himself transfixed by the way you reached for a slice of fruit, your fingers delicate yet decisive as you brought it to your lips. You took a slow, deliberate bite, and for the first time in his life, Satoru forgot how to speak.
It was absurd, really. He had seen beautiful women eat beforeâHelen herself had a practiced elegance to itâbut there was something about you. Something about the unthinking ease with which you did it, how your lips parted just slightly before closing around the fruit, how you chewed with quiet, effortless grace, unbothered by the weight of hungry gazes that lingered on you.
For a man who had always been surrounded by beauty, who had spent his life sated and indulged, it was utterly unfair that something so simple could leave him spellbound.
Perhaps the gods were toying with him.
"Youâve been staring for quite some time," you remarked, snapping him out of his reverie.
Satoru exhaled a laugh, recovering with impressive speed. "Can you blame me? Iâm simply trying to unravel the mystery of how you managed to make that poor soul flee in tears. Iâd rather not suffer the same fate."
"Then I suggest you leave now, Your Majesty."
"Not a chance."
You sighed, though there was the ghost of amusement at the corner of your lips. "Persistent, arenât you?"
Satoru grinned. "And yet, here you are, still talking to me."
He watched as you reached for another piece of fruit, this time slower, as if testing him, watching to see if he would stare again. He nearly laughedâbecause, of course, he did.
"You truly are hopeless," you muttered, shaking your head.
"Ah, but at least I am entertaining," he countered. "And I do believe Iâve managed what those other poor fools could notâIâve kept your attention."
You opened your mouth to retort, but he was faster. "Go on, you can admit it," he teased. "I make for much better company than them, donât I?"
For a moment, you merely regarded him, expression unreadable. Then, to his absolute delight, a soft laugh escaped your lips.
It was small, barely more than an exhale, but it was real.
And gods, it was beautiful.
Satoru leaned in slightly, drinking in the sight of you as if committing it to memory.
"See?" he murmured, triumphant. "I told you Iâm quite good at this."
Your amusement lingered, but you shook your head as if in exasperation. "If you say so."
He did not say so. He knew so.
Because despite all the reasons he had come to Sparta, despite all the men who had gathered to win Helenâs hand, Satoru had found himself drawn to you instead.
And he had no intention of stopping now.
But before he could get another word in, a horn sounds, and you nod to him, somewhat apologetically. âThat is my call.â
Before he can ask, you head, skirts fluttering behind you as you move to join a growing group of young ladies in the middle. Itâs clear the gathering has captured the interest of most of the men that were previously dining.
You make your way down to the middle, where you arrive at your positionâitâs the one youâve occupied every year. This dance is a show of grace and lineage, a chance for the noblemen to watch and admire, to see which girl carries herself with the most poise, the most elegance, the most effortless charm.
In Gojoâs eyes, itâs easy to determine who that is.
You take your place among your cousins, hands joining as the musicians begin their melody. It is a lighthearted dance, nothing too intricate, nothing that demands much more than the ability to move in time with the others. Your skirts flutter with each step, the long strands of your braid swaying as you turn.
Itâs a girlish, lighthearted dance youâve done since you were little. You and your younger cousins giggle as you go through the motions, reveling in the attentions of the spectators that witness the lovely display with amusement and pure, wholesome adoration.
That is, until you register a special set of eyes on you.
In a specific turn along to the strum of the lyre, you turn gracefullyâa move that orients you towards Gojoâs direction. When you finally see his face and notice his presence, itâs like youâre kicked in the chest in a spar with Helen, with the way your breath leaves you.
His eyes are dark, enraptured on you, and only you. Heat creeps up your neck as you move your hands as youâre oddly flustered. His gaze is admiring and is respectful, but the intensity of itâlike longing that is toeing the line between lust and pure yearningâmakes your heart quicken in a way that you rue your accursed organ, for it to beat so traitorously. When he notices that youâre staring back at him, his jawâwhich was clenchedâloosens in a smile, but the smile isnât innocent. It spells out a promiseâone unspoken, one that curls at the edges of his lips like a secret meant for you alone. It is the kind of smile that men wear when they know something you donât, when they have already decided on something long before youâve even had the chance to argue.
It is sharp. Focused.
It traces the curve of your waist, the sway of your hips, the way your arms extend with each graceful movement.
It darkens.
Heat spreads up your neck before you can help it. The flickering torches of the hall must be to blame, or perhaps the wine in your belly, but you feel warm, too warm, and it is absurd.
Why should you care where Gojo of Ithacaâs eyes linger?
His smirk grows, and it is cocky. Infuriating, even. You snap your head away before he can see how your face burns, resuming your dance with the others, willing yourself to shake off the foolishness that has settled in your bones.
But even as you turn, even as the skirts of your dress flare and the room around you continues its celebration, you feel itâ
His eyes.
Still watching.
âAthena, I swear to you that I need her. She is my future wife!â Gojo insists, stomping his feet as he trails the goddess as if he were a child. It reminded the goddess of wisdom of when she first met himâwhen he had taken down the magic boar she had let loose, showing him of having intellect worthy of being mentored by her.
But Athena had meant to be a mentor to a warrior of the mindânot this lovesick, pathetic fool in front of her, like a dog whining for food. Athena sighed exasperatedly as another animal she was hunting runs away from Gojoâs sheer loudness. âEnough!â she snaps, but not unkindly. âWho is this princess you speak of, and what kind of spell has she cast on you to become this much of a fool?â
Gojo ignores any insults directed towards him, and instead adorns a bright smile at the mention of you. âShe is the cousin of Helen of Sparta, and the daughter of Icariusââ
Gojo is interrupted by a snort. âThe same one that swore to never marry his daughter off?â
This gives Gojo a reason to pause. He had not known this fact. âSo, how do you propose Iââ
Much to his chagrin, the w goddess is already a few steps ahead. âTo waste my time on strategy to secure a woman, Gojo, is quite preposterous.
But if you must insist on my counsel, then you shall earn it," Athena declares, turning on her heel to face him fully. Her gaze, sharp as a well-honed blade, sweeps over him, as if assessing whether he is truly worth the effort. "Icarius is a man of reason before all else. He values intellect, discipline, and above all, loyalty. If you wish to stand a chance, you must prove to me two things: one, that she is a wise woman worth of being sought after, and, two, you must prove that you are not merely another suitor blinded by beauty."
Gojo grins, clearly pushing his luck. "So you will help me?"
Athena exhales, the very picture of divine suffering. "I will not gift you the answer, but I will grant you the means to find it yourself."
"Which is just a long-winded way of saying you will help me." He nods sagely, as if he has unraveled the mysteries of Olympus itself.
Athena rubs her temple. "I should have let the boar trample you."
Gojo only laughs, stepping in line beside her as they weave through the woods. His mind is already turning, piecing together what little he knows of Icarius, of you, and of what he must do to win. Because one thing is certainâhe will win.
Icarius may have sworn never to wed you off, but Gojo Satoru has never been one to abide by the rules.
You do not want to be here.
All you simply wanted was time in your sanctuary, your olive tree. It remained hidden in the royal gardens, so itâs a wonder that Gojo of Ithaca had found you. Of course, you would have to be a fool to not admit that these suitorsâ wit paled in comparison to that white-haired young king. Such as this one, for example.
âMy lady, I could not help but notice your fair disposition when I looked upon you,â the suitor grins, his teeth bared like a dog catching scent of a meal. It is not a pleasant expression. You do not react, save for clutching your weaving tighter to your chest. He steps closer, and you take measured care not to recoil, though the instinct is strong. âMay you grant me your nameââ
âI would have to apologize,â you cut him, already turning away. âMy father does notââ
Youâre stopped by a harsh grip on your wrist, and you wrench your gaze back to the suitor in shock.
"You wound me, my lady," the man says, still smiling as if this was amusing. As if he had power over you. Physical power, you suppose, but clearly this man was lacking in intellect, to not have noticed his presence. "You have been so cold to me, and Iâ"
He does not notice the shadow behind him.
âAh,â a voice interjects, smooth, easy. âThatâs no way to hold a ladyâs hand, is it?â
The grip on your wrist slackens, but another takes its placeâlight, barely a touch.
Gojo.
The suitorâs face twists in confusion, but it quickly shifts to pain as Gojo applies the smallest pressure to his wrist.
âYouââ
âShe said no,â Gojo interrupts breezily. âAnd Iâd hate to make a scene, so do us all a favor and leave before I decide to break something, yeah?â
With an effortless flick of his hand, the suitor stumbles back, shaking out his wrist as if burned.
Gojo does not spare him another glance. His attention is on you.
âAre you alright?â His voice is softer now, no teasing lilt, no easy arrogance.
You hesitate, unsettled.
âI was handling it,â you say, though it does not come out as firm as you would like.
Gojo only hums, something that sounds like, I know you could, but youâre distracted by his eyes drifting down to your wrist, where a faint mark has already begun to bloom.
His gaze darkens, but you hurry to assure him. âIâll bandage this, itâs not a big woundââ
He interrupts you. âNo need,â gently holds your shoulder, as if imploring you to follow him into the direction heâs started to walk, âIâll do it myself.â
âThatâs notââ
âLook.â He shoots you a look, but it is not unkind nor patronizing. You realize belatedly that it has set your heart aflutter. âI trust that you know how to bandage your wound. But I have had countless like it, so you are with a skilled master in healing. And who knows which suitors may find you on your journey to the physician?
You purse your lips, biting back a retort but failing. âAnd arenât you one of the said suitors?â
His lips pull back in an amused smile, and you notice his hand is still resting lightly on your shoulder. âI think we both know Iâm different.â You bite back a smile.
âOh, really?â you remark dryly, but the look in your eyes is anything but. âAnd how did Your Majesty acquire the title of being different?â
His thumb brushes, just barely, against the fabric of your sleeve before he withdraws his hand entirely, as if sensing that heâs lingered too long. But his smirk remains, insufferable as ever.
âFor one, I donât make a habit of forcing myself upon unwilling women,â Gojo remarks, a pointed edge to his otherwise careless tone. âAnd for anotherâŠâ He tilts his head, considering you. âI daresay I might be infatuated in a way theyâor youâcouldnât comprehend.â
Your breath catches, but you recover quickly, huffing as you turn away. âAll these sweet nothings. Helen will love you.â
Gojo chuckles, stepping ahead of you as he leads the way. âYet she is not the one I am after.â
You pause. Soak in his words. Outwardly, you roll your eyes and follow him for you were at a lack of words, but inside Poseidonâs storm rages inside you at his words, creating a ferocious whirlpool of conflicting feelings.
His strides are long and easy, as if he belongs wherever he walks, and yet, he slows his pace just enough for you to keep up. The gesture is not lost on you.
The physicianâs chamber is quiet when you arrive, save for the distant chatter of servants outside. Gojo does not call for assistance. He merely gestures for you to sit, pulling out a small cloth and a bowl of water, his movements easy and practiced.
âYouâve done this before,â you murmur as he kneels before you, pressing the damp cloth against your wrist.
His smile is unreadable. âI am a warrior, am I not?â
The cold seeps into your skin, making you shiver. Gojo notices. His touch, for all his bravado, is unbearably gentle. You do not know what to make of it.
âYouâll bruise,â he says softly, fingers skimming over the faint marks. âDoes it hurt?â
You swallow. âNo.â
A lie.
Gojoâs gaze flickers up to yours, and for the first time, there is no teasing in his expressionâonly something quiet and knowing, something that makes your heart betray you in its weakness.
For a moment, you both fall into a silence, and, to avoid his gaze, you go back to clutching at your hand and staring at it, as if thereâs something really intriguing about it. Then, he speaks up. âWant to play?â
You bring your gaze back to him, caught off guard. âWhat?â
He cocks his head in a direction to which you face, and there you see it: a game board. One to play petteia.
You turn back at him, blinking. âYou play petteia?â
Gojo grins, stretching out with a lazy ease that only makes you more suspicious. As if he has ulterior motives to this. âWhat, surprised? Strategy games are a warriorâs pastime.â
You squint him. That line of reasoning was rather true, you suppose. Something told youâsomething being the way he convinced Helenâs father so easily, how he always seemed three, no, six steps aheadâthat he was no normal warrior, no normal brute. Huffing, you remark offhandedly, âI suppose a true warrior does sharpen his mind as well as his sword. Itâs a pity that youâll be losing today. To me.â
His smile deepens, and it makes you notice small indents in his cheeks as a result, and the way thereâs a rosy pink hue on his cheeks, as if heâs excited to see what you can do. âThen by all means, put me to shame.â
You settle onto the floor, determined, as he arranges the pieces between you. The rules are simple enoughâcapture your opponentâs pieces by flanking them on either sideâbut the way Gojo moves is anything but. He plays with an insufferable sort of confidence, shifting his pieces with flicks of his fingers, as if the game is already his to win.
Until it isnât, obviously.
He frowns when the click of stone dropped onto the board sounds. Youâve cut off his advancing soldier, trapping it neatly between two of your own.
âHuh,â he muses, tapping his chin. He stares at the board, mind no doubt going at a speed unfathomable to most. His eyes flick rapidly, as if assessing the position of all the stone and calculating all the possible moves and permutations that can salvage him out of the situation youâve created for him. You maintain your poker face, but inside, you want to smile. You had calculated those said combinations a few steps ago, and itâd be really hard to get out of this. Then, comes out a âThat was⊠unexpected.â
You smile sweetly. âWhatâs wrong? Did the great King of Ithaca not anticipate that?â
Gojo exhales, dragging a hand through his hair while huffing out a laught. âYouâre quite ruthless, arenât you?â
âIâm practical,â you correct, claiming another of his pieces. âAnd good at this game.â
Gojo squints at the board, as if trying to decipher where exactly he went wrong. âYou do know youâre supposed to let me win, right? My pride is fragile.â
âI wasnât aware kings had fragile pride.â
âYou wound me, my lady.â He presses a hand to his chest, but his movements are distracted as he moves another pieceâonly for you to immediately trap it.
His head snaps up. âWaitââ
You make your final move, effortlessly cornering his last few soldiers.
Silence.
Gojo blinks at the board.
You clear your throat. âDo you need a moment to process this?â
Slowly, he leans back, shaking his head with something close to awe. âYou know, I was planning to go easy on you, but I donât think that would have helped.â
You grin, triumphant. âIâll take that as an admission of defeat.â
Gojo exhales through his nose, then tilts his head at you, a glint of something unreadable in his eyes.
âYouâre dangerous,â he says, and youâre not quite sure if itâs a compliment or a warning.
âMaybe to an overconfident king who underestimates his opponent.â
That urges out a laugh from him, and he shakes his head. âTrust me, I was not underestimating you. It seemed that I had overestimated myself.â
Before you can respond, Gojo leans forward, propping his chin on his hand as he watches you with something unsettlingly thoughtful.
You donât trust that look.
âWhat?â you ask warily.
He hums. âJust thinking.â
âThatâs a dangerous pastime for you.â
Gojo presses a hand over his chest, as if wounded. âCruel. After I iced your wrist and let you absolutely demolish me at petteia, this is the thanks I get?â
âYou act as if I owe you something.â
His smirk returns, slow and smug. âWell, since you mention itâŠâ
You narrow your eyes. âNo.â
âYou didnât even hear me out.â
âI know you well enough to predict whatever absurd request youâre about to make.â
Gojo lets out a dramatic sigh, tilting his head back. âAnd here I was, about to propose something completely reasonable. A fair exchange.â
You arch a brow. âFair?â
He nods, all feigned seriousness. âSee, I let you win.â
âYou most certainly did not.â
âAnd I helped with your wrist.â
Your lips press into a line. âWhich you did of your own volition.â
Gojo ignores this. âSo, as a completely justified request, I think you should let me meet you in the royal gardens.â
You blink. His words hang in the air between you, a casual proposition that somehow carries more weight than it should.
âThe gardens?â
He nods. âBy the olive tree at sunset. The one where we met.â
âWhy?â
Groaning, he lounges back, pushing his feet out while doing the motion. It makes his long legs come closer to where yours are opposite from him, so much that you can feel their heat. Not direct contact, but there. âHave I not made my advances clear by now?â He moves to a sitting position, a more serious look in his eyes as he earnestly looks at you, but you find it hardâdespite your usual dry disposition towards suitorsâto maintain eye contact, so you opt to look at your hands instead as his next words strike blows to your treacherous heart.
âYour Highness, I am here for you. You are far wittier than meâI have things to learn from you. You have bewitched me, for I did not know it was possible for a lady to consume my every waking thoughts in such a violent way as you have. You may think me a stranger, and you may think me one of the many foolish suitors here for Miss Helenâs hand, but I will make you fall in love with me. I will show you that despite my pride, I will be a kind and gentle husband.â He exhales, as if steadying himself, but his eyes remain fixed on you. There is no jest in them, no trace of the arrogance he so often wears like armor. Only something raw.
âAnd I will absolutely not leave this city until you come back to me in my kingdom as the Queen of Ithaca. It may require god-like skill to convince your father to marry meâbut I am nothing if not persistent.â
Before you can even begin to form a responseâbefore you can push past the breath lodged in your throat, the furious pounding in your chestâthereâs a voice.
"There you are!"
Helen.
You turn just as she strides toward you, golden as ever, a vision of effortless beauty. She doesnât seem to have heard a word of what was just spoken, too preoccupied with her own delight at having found you.
"Iâve been looking everywhere," she sighs, linking her arm through yours before glancing at Gojo, who, for once, remains uncharacteristically silent. Her eyes flick between the two of you, and then she hums. "I hope I wasnât interrupting anything?"
Gojo recovers faster than you do. "Not at all, Your Highness," he says smoothly, a practiced smile slipping into place. "I was simply getting to know your cousin better."
Helen gives him a flirtatious smile, but nevertheless turns to you, frowning. âAnd why are you at the physicianâs?â
You feel Gojoâs eyes follow your movements as you shake your head and rise, walking towards Helen. âAn unruly suitor. It was a light bruise, it is not a great matterââ
âA bruise?!â
âCome with me,â you hissed, waving her along so she did not question further. It seemed that the room was very warm, for you felt a heat creep up your neck the longer Gojoâs eyes unequivocally stayed on you.
Helen blinked, at a loss for words, no doubt pondering why you both were leaving Gojoâs presence so readily. âBut His Majestyââ
âCousin,â you snapped, âdid you not have a reason to be looking for me?â
Helen blinks, momentarily distracted. Then, as if something suddenly occurs to her, she brightens.
âOh! Yes, Father wanted to see you.â
You exhale, relievedâonly for it to be short-lived, because she doesnât move.
She remains rooted in place, glancing back at Gojo with a look that is far too amused for your liking. The flirtatious smile returns, softer now, more intrigued.
âBut surely,â she muses, tilting her head, âyou wouldnât mind if I stayed a moment longer? Itâs not often one meets a man as charming as His Majesty of Ithaca.â
You narrow your eyes. âHelen.â
âWhat?â she says, all innocence. âWeâre simply talking.â
You glance at Gojo, expecting him to look insufferably pleased, but instead, heâs watching you. Not Helen. You tear your gaze away.
Itâs only once the two of you are walking through the halls, out of earshot, that Helen sighs, linking your arms again.
âHeâs quite something, isnât he?â she murmurs.
You keep your eyes ahead. âPerhaps. A bit arrogant, though.â
âHeâs clever,â she corrects, then gives you a knowing look. âAnd you like him.â
You scoff, though the heat on your skin betrays you. âI do not.â
Helen only laughs, shaking her head. âDearest cousin,â she sighs, âI have seen you endure the most persistent suitors with all the warmth of an ice-cold river. And yet, here you are, playing petteia with him, letting him tend to your wounds.â
You do not have an answer to that.
And Helen does not press further. She only smiles wistfully to herself, as if she already knows how this story will end.
âŠ
The halls are silent at this hour, save for the whisper of your steps against the cool stone. You keep to the shadows, careful, quiet. If anyone were to see you like thisâwrapped in a cloak, a weaver in hand, slipping through the corridors like a thief in the nightâthere would be whispers by morning.
But then again, what whispers have ever concerned you?
The thought does not comfort you as much as it should.
Your grip tightens around the weaver, its familiar weight grounding. You brought it with you on the off chance that Gojo, like most men, proves unreliable. You have no reason to believe he will come; his feelings for you could be temporary lust, a second option in case his primary oneâHelenâfails. No reason to have entertained his invitation at all. And yet, you go.
You cannot say why.
A foolish impulse, perhaps. Or simple curiosity. Or maybeâ
You push the thought away, focusing instead on the memory that surfaces unbidden.
A conversation with your father, just today while you dined.
You had spoken of Helenâs upcoming wedding of the foreign princes and warriors who sought her hand, of the future that awaited her.
Your father had frowned, the lines of his face deepening. âIt is dangerous,â he had said, quiet but firm. âTo entrust my daughter to a man who cannot ensure her well-being.â
You had smiled then, easy and unbothered, as if his words did not touch something in you. âIt is not you he must convince.â
He had looked at you for a long moment, something unreadable in his gaze, but ended up remarking offhandedly, as if reminding you. âI do not want you to go far from me.â
And you, still smiling, had said nothing at all.
Now, in the solitude of the night, you are no longer smiling.
You know your fatherâs concern is not unfounded. It is not simply Helenâs future that weighs on himâit is yours.
But it is a strange thing, the way his words linger, how they press against you, heavy and quiet. Not as a warning. Not as a burden. But as something else. Something you cannot yet name.
You reach the courtyard, the olive tree standing tall against the night sky behind a series of trees. You exhale, slow and steady, before walking to reach it, weaver in hand.
If he comes, he comes.
And if notâ
Well. You were never the kind to wait idly for a man.
But before you could go on your endless mental tirade of how despicable the male species were, you heard a voice. Gojoâs voice in particular.
Walking closer and closerâto where your olive tree was but not where you were visible, trees providing coverageâyou noticed him talking to someone in a hushed, yet excited tone. You use the window of sight allowed by the gap between the treesâ leaves to see him, standing with an owl on his forearm. Itâs turned to him, as if paying attention, although exasperatedly, to him while he stands tall as ever, his foot tapping impatiently against the grass.
You hesitate, watching as the owl blinks at him, as if listening, considering his words.
And then it notices you. Its, well, owlish eyes are wide as they lock in on your figure.
With a quiet rustle of feathers, it takes flight, disappearing into the night.
Gojo turns, following its path before his gaze lands on you.
âYou scared my friend away,â he says, as if this is the most natural thing in the world.
You blink at him. âYou were talking to an owl.â
He shrugs, as if this too is perfectly reasonable. âSheâs a good listener. A little judgmental, though.â
You give him a look, unimpressed. âI see youâve finally found an audience that suits you.â
His lips curve into a slow smile. âAnd yet, here you are.â
You huff, settling onto one of the smooth stones beneath the tree. âI didnât come for your company.â You hold up the weaver in your hands, as if that alone is proof of your intentions. âI came to pass the time.â
âAh,â he drawls, stepping closer, hands slipping into the folds of his cloak. âAnd yet, youâre talking to me instead.â
You narrow your eyes at him, but he only grins, triumphant.
âTell me,â he muses, dropping down beside you. âWere you hopingâor predicting, with that fast mind of yoursâI wouldnât come?â
You donât answer right away, fingers idly threading the weaver. The night air is cool, the scent of olives and earth thick around you.
âWould it have mattered?â you ask at last, voice light, careless.
Gojo watches you, and for a moment, he does not answer either.
Then, quietly, as if confessing something neither of you are ready to name, he says, âYes.â
You inhale slowly, fingers stilling on the weaver as his answer settles between you.
Yes.
It wasnât spoken in jest, nor with the easy arrogance he so often wielded. Instead, it was quieter, more certainâlike an unshakable truth, unburdened by expectation.
You donât know what to make of it.
You cast him a glance from the corner of your eye. Heâs sitting close but not too close, his long legs stretched out before him, arms resting lazily over his knees. His usual grin is absent, replaced by something unreadable, something you cannot name.
The weight of his gaze is different now. Not teasing, not searching for amusementâbut waiting.
You look away first.
Your fingers resume their slow, practiced work, weaving delicate patterns into the fabric, though your thoughts are anything but orderly.
âWhy are you here?â you ask, voice softer than you intend.
A beat passes before he answers.
âBecause you are.â
You swallow.
He leans back onto his hands, tilting his head toward the night sky, moonlight catching in the pale strands of his hair. It makes him look otherworldly, like a figure carved from mythâtoo beautiful, too untouchable.
âIâm not Helen,â you say after a moment, unsure why the words leave your lips. âYou have nothing to gain from this.â
Gojo exhales, a quiet sound, but when he looks at you again, there is something almost amused in his expressionâtouched with something softer, something more patient.
âDo you think I speak to owls for political gain?â
You huff, trying to ignore the warmth threatening to creep up your neck. âI think you do most things for your own amusement.â
He hums, as if considering that. âYou wound me.â
âI doubt that,â you mutter, eyes fixed on your work.
And yetâhis fingers twitch where they rest against the stone. Itâs small, barely noticeable, but your eyes catch it, and you wonder.
Does he want to reach for you?
The thought unsettles you more than it should.
He exhales again, then shifts, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees, expression thoughtful. âYou know,â he muses, âI had a whole speech planned.â
You raise a brow. âOh?â
âSomething about how I was drawn to you the way sailors are drawn to sirens. That you, unlike any other, have made me question things I thought I knew.â He looks down at his knees, lips pulling in a mischievous smile. âBut with you, I doubt a night of spilling sweet nothings or perhapsâŠother things would have swayed you.â
Your fingers still.
âBut I think Iâve changed my mind,â he continues, tilting his head. âI think Iâd rather just talk to you.â
You stare at him, caught somewhere between wariness and something dangerously close to wonder.
And then, before you can stop yourself, you ask, âWhat would you have said next?â
His lips twitch, and for the first time tonight, there is mischief in his gaze again. âWouldnât you like to know?â
You roll your eyes, but the moment has shifted, lighter now, though something unnamed still lingers beneath it.
âKeep your secrets, then,â you mutter, returning to your weaving.
âYou wound me,â Gojo says again, pressing a hand to his chest as if truly affronted. âHere I am, spilling my heart, and you deny me even a scrap of sentiment.â
You let out a quiet scoff, keeping your focus on your weaving. âPerhaps if your words werenât so dramatic, Iâd be inclined to believe them.â
Gojo gasps. âDramatic?â He leans closer, an almost boyish grin tugging at his lips. âMy lady, I am nothing if not a man of sincerity.â
âOh? So that speech about sirens wasnât an embellishment?â
âNot at all.â He sighs, as if suffering under some great burden. âI wake in the morning thinking of you, I lay my head at night wondering if youâve thought of me at all. Itâs agony, truly.â
You roll your eyes, but your lips betray you, twitching into something dangerously close to a smile. âThat sounds more like a malady than love.â
âAh, but love is a sickness, is it not?â He exhales dramatically. âAnd you, my lady, have made a very ill man of me.â
Despite yourself, a laugh escapesâlight, unguarded, like something slipping past your defenses before you can catch it.
And thenâsilence.
You glance at him, and find him already watching you.
His usual mischief is gone, replaced by something softer, something wholly unprepared. His breath is caught somewhere between his ribs, his lips slightly parted as if the sight of your laughter has stolen the air from him.
And thenâ
A blush, unmistakable even in the moonlight.
Your heart stutters.
Oh.
For the first time, you allow yourself to study him properly. The sharp angles of his jaw, the elegant bridge of his nose, the vivid eyes that hold yours so intently.
He is very handsome.
The thought settles somewhere unexpected, like an admission youâve been avoiding.
Before you can dwell on it, something light catches against your shoulderâa drifting leaf, caught in the folds of your garment.
Gojo moves before you can react.
His fingers brush against the fabric near your collarbone, and then linger, featherlight and warm, as he pulls the leaf free. The moment stretchesâlonger than it should, charged with something unspeakable.
You feel his breath before you see him move, close enough now that the space between you is barely a whisper.
His hand, now free of its task, hesitatesâbefore it trails downward, catching yours in his grasp.
He doesnât say anything, doesnât try to fill the moment with jest. His thumb traces the back of your hand, slow and absentminded, as if memorizing the shape of you.
Your own breath falters.
His breath is warm in the cool night air, his proximity setting something taut beneath your ribs. You are no stranger to flirtation, nor to men who think they can win you with pretty words, but GojoâGojo is different.
Perhaps itâs the way he looks at you now, his usual mischief tempered by something quieter. Or perhaps itâs the fact that, despite his arrogance, despite his clever tongue and tireless persistence, he does not presume to take.
He waits.
A dangerous thing, because it gives you time to notice the way his fingers twitch slightly against the fabric of your sleeve, the way his lips part as if tasting the words before speaking them.
âYouâre staring,â he murmurs, tilting his head.
You arch a brow, feigning indifference despite the heat pooling low in your stomach. âAm I?â
His lips curve. âShould I be flattered?â
You hum, as if considering it. âIâm only making observations.â
âOh?â He steps just a fraction closer, his voice dipping. âAnd what have you observed, my lady?â
âThat you blush quite easily,â you say smoothly, pleased when the faint flush creeps further up his neck. âThat despite your grand declarations, you are, in fact, a little shy.â
Gojo lets out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. âShy? My lady, you wound me.â
âDo I?â You tilt your chin up slightly, your voice softer now, your hand still in his.
His gaze flickers to your lips.
Your breath catches, just for a moment.
And thenâ
His hand moves, fingers brushing along the curve of your jaw before settling at the nape of your neck, his touch deliberate, careful. A question, waiting for an answer.
You donât grant him wordsâonly the tilt of your head, the briefest lean forward.
It is all the invitation he needs.
He kisses you like a secret, like something to be savoredâslow at first, testing, before he grows bolder. His other hand finds your waist, pulling you just a little closer, and warmth floods through you, seeping into your bones.
The world is silent save for the soft hitch of breath, the faint rustle of fabric as he deepens the kiss, as you allow yourself to press into him, fingers curling into the front of his tunic.
For a man who never stops talking, he is utterly wordless now.
When you wake up next in the morning, it is grumpy and tired. Not only were you up late into the night, talking to andâŠkissing Gojo of Ithaca, or rather, Satoru (while you were drunk on each other, he had convinced you to call him Satoru), but the sound of Helenâs squealing made your head ring, putting an unbearable pressure onto them.
âHelen!â you scold her, throwing a spare pillow at her. She easily dodges while you sit up in the bed, half-heartedly rubbing your eyes to wipe the sleep from them. As she throws herself onto the foot of the bed, you notice and hear the pitter patter of rain, casting a somber gray light in your bedroom that is occasionally interrupted by Zeusâs thunder, as if the god was angered or sharing a premonition.
Shaking off the thought, you scowl at your cousin, whoâs excitedly prattling about things you still have yet to comprehend. âSlow down! Tell me, without spewing all your words at once.â
âFather gave me permission to marry!â she squealed, jumping on you and hugging you closely. She seemed happy, and you loved your cousin very much, even if you did not show it much. Pure affection permeates your countenance, as she continues. âYou know Iâve always wanted to marry him, with his big arms and all. He could totally manhandle me, but you knoooww I love the ones that can whimperââ
âOh my god,â you groan, covering your ears as if scandalized (youâve said much worse to her), but you grin regardless. âWho is the man that you have chosen?â
âWell,â she laughs, flipping her hair off her shoulder, âGojo of Ithaca is to be my husband, of course.â
Your heart drops to your stomach.
What she says next seems to blur together, not registering because you are shocked, your world almost tilted.
Gojo of Ithaca is to be my husband, of course.
It is then you realize belatedly that Helen seems to be calling out to you, and what you notice the most out of anything on her face is the soft smile she has on her face. One that shows that she is fond of Satoru Gojo, that she has affection for him. And who are youâthe girl whose father doesnât wish for her to marry, one that isnât to be promisedâtake that away from Helen, from him?
Gojo has made it clear that he is not here for Helenâbut wouldnât it be better for him and his kingdom (which you discovered last night that he cares so dearly for) for him to marry Helen? A beautiful queen and a wise king.
What a match.
You swallow, throat suddenly dry, but you manage a smileâstrained, weak, but a smile nonetheless.
âHelen,â you begin, voice steady despite the storm brewing inside you, âare you certain?â
âOf course!â she beams, oblivious to the way your fingers tighten in the fabric of your bedding. âFather said Gojo has yet to ask officially, but he will, I know it. And why wouldnât he? A match like thisâitâs fate.â
Fate.
What cruel irony.
You remember last nightâGojoâs hands warm against your skin, his laughter pressed against your lips, the way he had murmured your name like a vow.
And yetâ
You look at Helen, golden and radiant even in the gray morning light, her eyes alight with genuine happiness. You love her, truly, and have since childhood. She has always had her pick of men, but there was something softer in the way she spoke of Satoru just now.
The soft smile, the dreamy lilt to her voice.
She wants this.
And what of you?
Your chest aches, but you laugh, the sound lighter than it should be. âYou sound quite taken with him.â
âI am,â she beams, watching you. âHeâs gorgeous! Charming, too. He told me last night that he thinks my eyes are like the sea at sunrise.â
Your stomach twists and it seems that the panic overwhelms you because all you can manage to do is swallow and nod. âWell,â you look at her with a tight smile, âI congratulate you. Let us discuss this matter further over breakfast.â She smiles and squeezes your upper arm in a goodbye, and the touch of it burns.
You donât ever make it to breakfast that day.
It continues raining that day, and itâs quite appropriate for how youâre feeling. The feeling of melancholy permeates the air around you as you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Usually, you occupy your time by reading or, more likely, weaving, but you couldnât muster the energy to find interest in that either.
Over a man. What a shame.
You were not one to lie idleâyou were constantly praised as a princess wise beyond her years, and it would be wise, in this situation, to move on. Because the man you had grown feelings for is now engaged to your cousin, or, at least, your cousin intends to be engaged with him. And it would be wiser to let it happen, for Helenâs happiness was your happiness.
Sighing, you stuff your face into your pillow and groan, muffled by the linen fabric of your seats. You then decide grudgingly that if youâre not going to leave your room at all, it may be best to shed yourself of your clothing and lay comfortably in your loincloth and mamillare.
But right as you put your hand on your clothing to strip yourself, you hear a noise.
The sound comes againâa sharp, rhythmic tap-tap-tap, just barely audible over the rain. You freeze, fingers still curled around the fabric of your chiton, half-peeled from your shoulder. At first, you think it might be a stray branch scraping against the stone, wind-tossed by the storm. But then it happens againâmore deliberate this time, insistent.
Then, looking at the new objects strewn across your balcony, you realize itâs not branchesâitâs pebbles.
You scowl, tying your garments hastily before moving toward the balcony. The rain is gentler now, more mist than storm, clinging to the stone and silvering the world beyond. You grip the railing and peer downâ
And there he is.
Satoru.
Drenched from head to toe, hair plastered to his forehead, a frown curving his lips as he concentrates on where heâs going to throw his pebble next. His stance seems urgent, but youâre so caught up on the fact that heâs here, as if he isnât supposed to be engaged to Helen or be subjected to whatever congratulatory round of alcohol men bestowed upon each other after securing the most beautiful woman alive.
Your heart stutters.
You pull back immediately, breath catching in your throat. You shouldnât have come to the balcony. You shouldnât be looking at him, shouldnât be thinking about this morning when Helenâs voice still lingers in your earsâGojo of Ithaca is to be my husband, of course.
The pebble strikes the stone beside you.
âI know youâre up there,â Gojo calls, tone indecipherable. âAre you really going to ignore me? After all weâve been through?â
You swallow and your voice trembles when you say, âGo away.â
His resulting laughter sounds betrayed, hurt. âYou donât mean that.â
âSatoru,â and you donât know if itâs a plea or a warning. His head tilts, an anguished look on his face as he closes his eyes and sighs.
âYou wound me,â he huffs out a pained laugh, âAfter all, I run the risk of sickness just to see you and tell you that you believe wrong.â
Something is created in you, then. Something dangerous like hope. âWhat?â
But instead of answering, Gojo crouches, then, in one smooth motion, leaps up, catching the edge of the balcony with ease. You barely have time to react before heâs pulling himself over the railing, stepping onto solid ground with practiced grace.
You stumble back, eyes wide. âI told you not to come up.â
âAnd when have I ever listened?â
Thereâs something in the way he looks at you thenâan intensity you arenât prepared for. The air between you is charged, thick with something unspoken, something far too dangerous to name.
He takes a step forward. âI thought you were smarter than this.â
You blink, startled. âExcuse me?â
Gojo exhales, running a hand through his damp hair. âWhy would you ever think it would be Helen?â
Your stomach lurches. âShe saidââ
âShe assumed,â he corrects, cutting you off. âBut I did not accept her. And you let her do that.â His voice drops lower, softer, a stark contrast to the teasing lilt he so often wields. âDo you truly think so little of me?â
You donât answer. You canât. Because if you do, it will come spilling outâthe hope you tried to bury, the ache that settled in your chest the moment Helen uttered those words.
He moves closer, and you donât stop him.
âPrincess,â you can see his ivory lashes with how close he is, his face covered in raindrops, âfor how wise you are, you seem to not have caught on. What animal is the emblem of Athena?â
Blinking, youâre taken aback by the sudden quizzing. âOwl, what about itââ
Oh.
He sees the realization dawn over your face, and now his tense expression melts into a bittersweet smile. âThe goddess of wisdom has been my companion ever since I was a child, helping me attain whatever I needed the most. Whether it be to gain the knowledge one must have to be worthy of being king, or,â he inhales sharply, vibrant eyes scanning over your face vulnerably, âto gain the power to be able to make the wisest, wittiest, funniest, and most beautiful girl Iâve ever known my queen.
âAfter all, I have my witâadd a little of godlike power, and even I could defeat your father. Respectfully,â he adds quickly. He looks anxious you realize, as if he is about to make a risky move, a big ask. Something heâs been anxious to ask, but scared to. His eyes are still scanning you and his hands twitch at his side as he says, âI hesitate to make this decision, to ask you still after knowing the true nature of my desire for youââ
âAsk me what?â
His eyes are fixed on you, and you think that both of your hearts are beating very, very fast at the moment. âWhat do you think, princess?â
The silence that falls is loaded, heavy, and laden with hesitation. Itâs as if a vice has caged its way through your heart, squeezing and squeezing until all the things youâve left unsaid threaten to spill out. Things like I donât want you to marry my cousin. Or yet, even worse, I want you to marry me. âI would not want to throw out my guesses, Satoru,â you instead opt to say, voice soft. âThings like this must be said directly, to not leave any confusion or misunderstandings.â
His jaw tightens, his breath coming harder as he stares at you, something raw and dangerous flickering in his eyes. âI agree. These things should never be left unsaid.â His voice is low, almost seething, but not with angerâno, this is something else entirely, something desperate. âI love you.â The words are unshakable, like a vow. âAnd I refuse to sit here and pretend my thoughts of you are anything less than ruinous. I dream of you in ways no other man is allowed to, ways that would send me to Hades with a smile on my lips. You have bewitched my soul, stolen the breath from my body, and most dangerouslyâyou have claimed my mind.â His voice drops, softer now, but no less intense. âI do not know how to make you believe me, only that I would sooner challenge the gods themselves than let you slip through my fingers. The world could promise me tens of Helen, but there is only one woman I would ever choose.â His hand finds yours, fingers tightening, as his next words fall like an oath.
âYou.â
Your breath stutters, throat tightening as his fingers tighten over yours. His touch is searing, as if the gods themselves have set him aflame, and yet you cannot pull awayâyou do not want to pull away.
âSatoruââ His name slips from your lips like a prayer, and he swears under his breath, his free hand coming up to cradle your jaw, thumb pressing just below your lips, as if he is fighting the urge to kiss you.
âI would tear down Olympus itself if it meant keeping you,â he murmurs, his breath warm against your cheek. âI would make war with the gods, call upon Athena to guide my spear, and spill the blood of any man foolish enough to think they could take you from me.â His voice is rough, almost a growl, and you swear your knees would give way if not for the way he holds you now, as though letting go would be his ruin.
It is reckless, to let yourself lean into him, to let your fingers curl into the fabric of his damp chiton as though you could anchor yourself to him. But he is an anchorâpulling you into something deep, something dangerous, something you know you will not escape from unscathed.
His nose brushes yours, his lips so close that you feel his every breath, his every hesitation. But you see the war in his eyes, the battle between restraint and desire, and for once, you decide to let yourself be selfish.
So you whisper, âThen prove it.â
And that is all it takes for him to break.
His lips crash against yours, urgent and claiming, as if to kiss you any softer would be to deny himself the air he breathes. He groans as your hands tangle in his hair, your body pressing flush against his, his own hands no longer gentle but gripping, desperate, possessive. His teeth graze your bottom lip before he deepens the kiss, one hand trailing lower, pressing against the curve of your waist, then lower stillâ
Thunder crackles, as you gasp out his name. He pulls you both apart, looking anguished as if heâs fighting the urge to keep touching you, to make you moan out his name. Realizing this, you grab his hands and put them on yourself. âMy love,â you say, tenderly, and you see how his pupils dilate in response, âyou may touch meââ
âAre you sure? For if you say that, I may not be able to stop myself from indulging. Because I will take and take, until you can give me no more.â The way he says it, uncharacteristically serious and brows furrowed, makes you heat up even more, dizzy with lust and your pent up longing for the man.
But your response stays the same, paired with a firm nod. âI am surâmmmph.â
He smothers you with his lips before you can finish, cupping your jaw until his hands start to move downwards. They move, tracing the planes of your body, and they are relentless in their explorationâthey grab you possessively, pushing you closer and closer to him until his hands are below your thighs. Satoru maneuvers you until your legs are straddling his waist so that he can pick you up and carry you to your bed.
After he throws you down like carrying you poses to him as much of a challenge as carrying a light potato sack, he admires youâ-thighs clenched, hair splayed around your head like a halo. The skirt of your clothes has inched its way up, exposing your thighs. âGods, you donât know what you do to me.â
But instead of playing the innocent maiden, you look at him through your lashes, laughing. âSatoru, time is of the essence. Flattery will get you nowhereâyou must show it through your actions.â
You didnât know what saying his nameâand prompting him like thatâdoes to him. He meets your lips in a furious kiss once again, this time hand sneaking up your skirt. He meets the fabric of your loincloth, hooking at its sides and pulling them downwards and downwards, until it is hooked off your ankle (not before Satoru leaves it a trailing kiss there, of course. It is only until Satoruâs eyes hone in whatâs in the middle of legs that you realize that you are bare to him. âSatoru, Iââ
âI must do something,â he instead responds, and you look at him in confusion. Heâs moving down your body as you ask him what he means and if somethingâs wrong.
Youâre interrupted by your gasp as his mouth descends on you, leaving hot, openmouthed kisses directly on your core. His tongue delves inside your lower lips, pleasing the nerves and leaving them singing. He undoes you, leaving your legs feeling like jelly, and the fervor he does it with is nauseatingâas if your nectar is ambrosia itself.
Soon enough, with his reverent worshipâand a finger or two added to stretch you out and make you emit embarrassing noises that only encourage him furtherâyou come with a cry of his name. As you roll your hips, riding out your climax, his mouth and head follow and trail your hips, unrelenting in pleasuring you even though youâre overstimulated and left quivering.
âIââ you blurted, trying to fill the silence after he had just made you taste colors. âI hate you.â
Satoru faux pouts, biting back a grin. âRude thing to say when I just made youââ
âDonât finish that!â you shriek, swatting his head lightly as he laughs, kissing his way back up your body. In a tone more shy than youâd like, you say in a small voice, âBut I hope weâre not done yet?â
Satoruâs made his way up to your clothed breasts, kissing them tenderly. However, when he hears the question, he stills, looks at you with wide eyes, and he groans, as if surprised by your forwardness. âPrincess, the things you do to me.â
He kneads your ass while he stands up, orienting himself into a position to doâthat. A voice in the back of your head reminds you that youâre not supposed to be doing this before you get married, but your lust is too strong. And, after all, you trust that thereâs no way Satoru wouldnât marry you.
You feel a slight pressure in your nether regions, and you realize that it is Satoruâs cock. His eyes are on you, blown out with lust, as he continues to stroke the length of it while observing your every reaction. âAre you sure you want to do this?â
âYes.â
With your confirmation, his eyes next left your face as he pushed in, moving slowly and gently. He gauged your features for any signs of discomfort or pain as he moved in shallow thrusts, gradually increasing their length. You gasped, his murmurs and sweet nothings coaxing out your whimpers and whines as he bumped a spot inside of you. As he did, fireworks erupted in the back of your mind, leaving you boneless as he got you closer and closer to your climax once again.
For someone who didnât experience carnal desires often, you wonder how youâve gone without this kind of pleasure for so long. Satoru made you feel worshipped, tracing kisses with a love that was almost pious. It doesnât take you long after that to come once more, thrashing in his grip.
Your climax sheathed on his cock unlocks something in him, for he begins to thrust harder and faster, becoming sloppier and sloppier. His voice is by your ear, whining your name continuously. When he finally feels himself climb over and finally orgasm, he breathes out an âAh,â and thrusts himself to completely bottom out while his come fills you up, pooling inside of you.
You both stay interlocked for gods know how long. Until Satoru pipes up, voice still unstable and panting, âBy the way, it went unsaid, but Iâm going to marry you. And you canât say no.â
Your resulting giggle makes him break out in a big smile before he hugs you, wrestling you both to lie side by side in bed.
It goes without saying, but it all goes smoothly according to plan.
When Satoru had played with petteia with you, he had aimed to show Athena your wit. It is no small claim to defeat him, a king associated with Athena, in the game. The following events further made Athena approve of you and give her blessing.
So Gojo was already ten steps ahead when he asked your father for your blessing. Your father was furious, of courseâhe did not want to let you go. After much cajoling and agreement to beat your father, a champion runner, in a race to attain your hand, Satoru wiped his brow. The way your father loved you would be scary to him if he didnât love you as intensely as he did now.
And of course Satoru won. Athena got her fellow Olympian, Hermes, to rent out his infamous speed. When he wins, Sparta is in an uproar, including your cousin.
âSo, how is he?â Helen asks mischievously. You later found out that day that Helenâs words of marrying Gojo had a purposeâto push you both towards each other, once and for all.
âI donât know what you mean,â you turn away, with a hmph. Crossing your arms, you pretend to roll your eyes at the knowing look she had.
âI donât know, cousin,â she giggles, âI heard a couple of voices in your room when I tried to visit you a few nights back. Tell me, does he whimperâ-â
âHelen!â
The day you marry, donning beautiful and regal clothes, Gojo sneaks you away multiple times to kiss you under your veil when no one is looking.
His wedding gift is built by himâon the voyage back to Ithaca, he not only takes you away from Sparta, but the olive tree that you both had met at. He builds the shared marital bed out of the olive tree for his queen with his blood and sweat. It is a symbol of your love, everlasting, and you would daresay that it is the most precious gift anyone has ever given you.
What you give him in return is one fat and giggly baby. Your father grumbles that the child looks too much like his father, but the way he holds the babeâso carefully, so gentlyâbetrays his affection. Helen coos at her little nephew, amused at how utterly soft Satoru has become, how the once-cocky king now spends his days doting on both you and your child, as if he has won the world itself.
And perhaps he has.
After all, Satoru has always been a man of ambition. A man who would scheme, fight, and even defy the gods for what he desires. And yet, as he holds your child in one arm and you in the other, murmuring teasing words against your ear before stealing another kiss, you realize somethingâ
He had never needed Athenaâs wisdom, Hermesâ speed, or any other divine favor to win you.
Because you had already been his, just as he had always been yours.
general masterlist
a/n thank u to my very supportive bestie @purplegemadventures i love all ur ideas ml <3 anyways like always all my beta readers are the goats thank you for reading my incomprehensible ideas. it's 5am and there's a mosquito that's hovering near me and im not totally happy w how this turned out but it was fun writing it kjenkjne. i may write more greek mythology aus but i need to lock in on my series....
ppl who asked to be tagged: @heh123321 @melotter
thank you for reading! reblog and comment to let me know ur thots <3
#aashi writes#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru
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"Itâs my job to help people like you!"
Thank you, @aashiyancha for this amazing cover picture for Who Remembers a God!
#rune factory 5#rune factory#aashi doodles#darkacey writes#who remembers a god#rf5 lucas#rf5 ari#rf5#also aashi I am so so sorry this took me so long to post#my brain's been in a funk since even before everything#but thinking about my blorbos and looking at this fanart helps
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Not one night passed since they had their first kiss and Ares is already making a habit out of it
#rune factory#rune factory 5#rf5#ares x reinhard#aashi doodles#i swear at this rate im going to have all the romantic scenes for this arc drawn b4 the actual plot#but like oh well i already gave away the most important plot point for this arc jn the plot summary so I doubt anyone is itching for me to#finish writing the whole arc faster or anything
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I got murder on my mind đđđđ
what you know - ch14: trials || r. sukuna
⊠ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
â you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. â
⊠cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. minor injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. panic attacks. mentions of difficulty eating. legal drama (likely with inaccuracies). tags will be updated as series continues.
⊠additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
⊠words ; 23.4k.
⊠a/n ; this serves as a bit of a part 2 to the previous chapter and picks up right where the previous one left off! sorry for the wild word count LOL. i'll see you at the bottom!
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
Sitting in your passengerâs seat, Sukuna finds himself missing his old beat-up car. It clicked if you turned the axle too far and rattled at every stop light. One of the brake lights flickered but never quite went out. It was barely street legal, but it got him from one place to another.
It got his dad to appointments and hospitals. That was what mattered the most.
There was a certain sense of freedom that came along with having a car that Sukuna canât help but feel heâs lacking now. Still, itâs not so bad being your passenger.
Although the ride is mostly silent apart from your music quietly playing, he finds himself able to sort through his thoughts while staring out the window. Itâs not a particularly long ride, but it gives him the chance he needed to come to terms with the dirty game that Kaori is playing with this lawsuit.
Clearly sheâll stop at nothing to tear Sukunaâs life to shreds and take his brothers from him if itâs the last thing she does. Him and his lawyer just need to find an angle that lets them win without pulling dirty tricks like she is. The last thing Sukuna needs are more fees or even charges on his record.
He still canât figure out Kaoriâs angle, either. She isnât on social media as far as he can tell, her name doesnât pop up online. She doesnât want the kids for the money obviously and he canât wrap his head around the idea of her actually wanting her own kids.
Which is fucked.
His fingers tap on his thigh as he contemplates how this all stems back to one moment.
He wonders how different his life could have been had he not gone looking for Kaori at his grandfatherâs funeral. Maybe even Choso and Yujiâs fates could have been different.
The car comes to a halt in a quaint strip mall parking lot, with only another car or two in the lot alongside yours. Sukuna blinks as he glances around. He vaguely recognizes the area from when youâd first spent time together working on your project at your apartment.
It feels like a lifetime ago now that you listened to The Eagles on vinyl while working on your research project.
Getting out of the car, you stretch your arms up above your head. âI hope itâs good,â you comment, casting him a glance as you lead the way up to a plain door with the restaurant logo across the front. Sukuna hums in agreement.
Within the small shop, thereâs a cozy and homely warmth that surrounds you, the smell of broth wafting through the air. The lighting is soft and warm with slats of vertical wood separating each small booth along a wall with ivy green paint beneath the wood. A couple of decorative lanterns adorn stylized chandeliers in each booth, and a counter with stools runs along the farthest wall.
A waitress approaches you both and kindly asks whether youâd prefer a booth or the bar. Sukuna gives you a nudge to let you decide, and the waitress leads the way to a small booth in the very back of the restaurant. The atmosphere is welcoming, though the booth provides enough privacy that you can comfortably converse with one another.
âThis place is so cute,â you comment as you both shrug your coats off. Youâd almost forgotten how painfully overdressed you are as you look down at your white blouse, which is equally as unfortunate. Youâll just have to be careful not to spill.
Across from you, Sukuna hums as he pulls at the knot of his tie before slipping it off and unceremoniously shoving it in his suit pocket. He canât say he particularly cares about whether it has wrinkles or not. After all, the next time he wears it will be-
Shit. Heâs not sure heâs ready to think about that, yet. After all, they need the house study back before they can prepare. He has time. He can relax and enjoy his time with you.
He needs to live in the moment and try not to think about the dull future that plagues his mind. He needs to let himself relax for the first time in what feels like months.
To keep yourself from watching the painfully attractive way that Sukuna pulls at his tie and undoes the first couple of buttons on his shirt, you busy yourself with the menu. âThe tonkatsu sounds good,â you comment.
Rubbing his eye with the back of his knuckle, Sukuna finally picks up the menu, holding it back far enough to see it without squinting as he searches for what youâre talking about. âSounds good,â he agrees quietly, casting a glance over the menu to stare at you as he struggles to find common ground to chat with you. Itâs not like his curt answers are helping, but the small talk youâre spouting to fill the dead air isnât doing either of you any favors.
Clearing his throat, he sets down the menu. âIâll just get the gyoza.â
Flipping back a page to take a look at the item on the menu, you eye him suspiciously. âSukuna, thatâs the cheapest thing on the menu and it only comes with three. Get what you want,â you urge, finding it hard to contain your smile as he glowers when you see right through him.
âFine,â he mutters. âIâll get the curry ramen.â
âGood,â you hum, pleased.
As both menus are set down, the waitress returns to take your order before you find yourself staring at the soy sauce left at the end of the table. The dead air sitting stagnant between you burns at your skin, lapping like flames against the balance between you. Where once there was easy conversation, a void has been left in its place. Prior to your fight, there was rarely a moment where neither of you knew what to say. Even the silence was usually warm and inviting, but the trepidation left in the wake of uncertainty here doesnât speak to what once was.
In an effort to fill the silence, Sukuna mutters out a question before he has a chance to think.
âHowâs the conspiracy theorist prof been?â
Mild amusement pulls at the corner of your lips. âWe had a whole class where we discussed the death of Edgar Allen Poe,â you chuckle as you lean over the table.
Blowing a breath of air out of his nose in a wry laugh, Sukuna leans his chin on his hand, his elbow bent over the table. âWhatâd she land on?â
âRabies,â you shrug.
He hums. âMore plausible than some of her other theories.â
âI still think itâs more likely to be-â
âAlcoholism.â
â- alcoholism.â
Sukunaâs lips quirk up at the corners as familiarity finally finds its place back within the void, filling it out just a little bit. You giggle as he finishes your sentence in the same moment that you do. âItâs the only cause that has any footing!â You insist happily, beginning to go over the ways that you claim it âjust makes senseâ.
Sukunaâs muscles relax as he listens to you, chiming in occasionally to offer his opinion or add in something his dad had once mentioned on the subject. His tongue glides across his lower lip as he watches the way your lips move as you speak, your eyes crinkling at the corner each time you giggle. Heâs only pulled from his stupor when the food arrives.
A large bowl with chopsticks and a spoon is placed in front of each of you, the steam of the warm broth billowing in the air between you. Your mouth waters at the smell alone as you thank the waitress and pick up the chopsticks. Sukuna follows suit, taking a bite of some noodles.
âEverything you hoped for?â He gruffs between bites.
âUm-â you hesitate, âyeah, itâs good!â
âBut?â
âItâs a bit salty,â you pout.
âItâs ramen.â
Your brow furrows, playfully offended at his dry tone, as though you donât know that. âItâs saltier than I usually get, is what I mean,â you retort, raising your brow playfully.
His eyes flicker between your bowls before he pushes his towards you. âTry mine,â he insists.
Your lips purse, giving in without complaint. His food has a bit more of a kick to it and considerably less salt, but the flavor is downright divine. Your brow raises, and it doesnât take a rocket scientist to figure out that you like it more.
Smirking, Sukuna pulls your bowl towards him, exchanging the dishes. âKeep it.â
âWhat? Are you sure? I really donât-â
Sukuna takes a bite of your ramen and nods.
Your hands hesitate in the air, still not quite sure what to make of the switch. Sukunaâs never been one to particularly care what heâs eating, but this strikes you as just plain sweet. âReally, it wasnât that salty-â
âPrincess,â Sukuna sets his chopsticks down, finishing his bite of noodles, âeat your damn food.â
You shoot him one last hesitant glance before relenting. Your brow knits together, a shy smile finding its way to your lips. âThanks,â you murmur as your cheeks heat up. Surely from the heat of the soup.
Surely.
Before you can insist on swapping food again or something else Sukuna would consider foolish, he brings up a new topic, something thatâs been nagging at him since he realized how much of a dumbass heâs been, and continues to be.
âHowâs Toji?â
Heâd seen and heard from Uraume fairly frequently, though he continued to keep them in the dark about the lawsuit. Every day that goes by, thoughts consume him about whether or not thatâs the right option, and every day he struggles to find a reason why he continues to keep it a secret from them.
The truth is that heâs a coward. He canât bring himself to tell them because itâs been so long that he fears theyâll find a reason to walk out of his life. Though his feelings surrounding Uraume differ greatly from those that involve you, heâs not sure how well he could manage without them either. Heâs so deep in the hole heâs dug for himself with this lawsuit that heâs not sure he could blame them if they blew up at him for his spineless decision. Hell, heâd let Uraume dig the hole deeper for him and bury him alive if they so pleased.
Maybe Uraume and Toji could even tap their shovels together in a âcheersâ of sorts with the amount of secrets Sukunaâs kept from them both.
âHeâs okay,â you shrug. âHe asked me about you.â
Sukuna pauses, noodles dangling from his chopsticks as though he didnât expect that in your reply.
âHe was pretty upset,â you continue, hoping to share enough to help them mend their friendship while respecting Tojiâs boundaries. Though youâve grown closer to Sukunaâs childhood friend over the past couple of months, heâs definitely more of Satoruâs friend. You certainly donât know him well enough to be confident recounting his exact words to Sukuna.
Setting his chopsticks back in the bowl, Sukuna stares down at his scattered reflection on the surface of the soup. âShit,â he mutters simply, letting the silence linger.
Finishing up your bite, you tilt your head. âCan I ask you something?â
âShoot.â
âWhy didnât you tell him? You two were best friends, werenât you?â
Sukuna leans back in his booth, crossing his arms over his chest. The shoulders of his suit jacket crease as the sleeves pull taut and accentuate his muscles. âDunno. We just didnât talk about shit like that, andâŠâ he shrugs, finding your gaze with no definitive reasoning to offer.
You frown, Tojiâs reaction coming to mind when youâd parroted that exact phrase to him a couple of months ago. âThat was his excuse?â Over the course of two months, youâd thought maybe Sukunaâs response might change just as the man himself has. âDonât you think he would have wanted to know?â
ââCourse he wouldâve,â Sukuna agrees, shrugging. âI guess I just didnât think about it,â he shrugs again, searching for some sort of reasonable answer where there is none. He just didnât tell Toji. He didnât want to be around Toji and he didnât want to talk to Toji. Thereâs no grand reason why, Toji never did anything to upset Sukuna. The simple fact of the matter is that Sukuna had so much on his plate, that all reason fell to the wayside. It was never Tojiâs fault, and had it not been Toji, it would have been someone else. Sukuna didnât want to be around people at the time.
Sensing that you arenât getting anywhere with this conversation, you bring up another question thatâs been plaguing your mind since Sukuna brought it up at the case conference. You pray it doesnât piss him off for one reason or another but heâs been more reasonable lately so you donât feel like you need to step on eggshells around him as much. âHey, Kuna? Um-â You pause, setting your chopsticks down. âWhere did you find Kaori at your grandpaâs funeral?â You query, watching the way his eyes snap to you at the mere mention of the question.
His jaw clenches as he sits up, fiddling with the bottle of soy that sits between you. He stares at it like itâs done a disservice to his family, huffing as he explains in the simplest terms what had happened. âI was a kid, like fourteen or some shit. Kaori wasâŠâ he raises his hand, motioning at nothing in particular as he searches for words. âShe was fine. She never really cared to be involved with my life, nâ my dad kept things pretty quiet between âem until she got pregnant and he proposed.â
He takes a moment, huffing at nothing in particular as he pulls his hand back from the soy sauce, his fingers curling into a fist. âFound her with her fucking-â Sukuna cuts himself off as his voice cracks, his expression hardening as anger courses through his veins at the mere thought of his step-mother. Itâs been so long since heâs crossed paths with the thought of what heâd discovered that afternoon. Heâd almost forgotten just how vividly his mind can still conjure that image, bringing with it the disgust and self-reproach heâd longed to forget for so many years.
You donât hesitate for a moment to reach across the table, settling your hand over his fist the moment his distress becomes apparent. With one simple movement, you seem to dissolve the void between you. The uneasy silence tapers off as things become familiar once more.
Heâs not sure heâll ever grow accustomed to your kindness. How is he meant to convince himself that heâs allowed to be selfish, to take, when he has so little to give in return?
Yet even as guilt festers in his stomach and he scowls down at the place where your hands join, he still lets his fingers relax, flipping his hand upright to gently rub his thumb across the second joint of each of your fingers. Your skin is warm, soothing the chilling sensation of the memory.
Re-centering himself, Sukunaâs chest rises and falls in a heavy sigh. âI found her tongue-fucking my uncle in some corner,â he hisses, his nose wrinkling in disgust.
Your lips part in shock, the realization settling slowly as your stupor morphs to revulsion. Putting together his words from the case conference earlier, you blink in further surprise. âYou didnât tell your dad?â
Sukunaâs fingers glide through yours suddenly, his much larger hand finding a place around yours as he clasps your hands together, your fingers intertwined. Your gaze shoots to your entangled hands, unable to make heads or tails of the action as heat rises from the back of your neck to the tips of your ears. You can blame the soup all you want, but you know the truth.
Youâre used to Sukuna seeking comfort within you, but thereâs something deeper to this. Something you donât know how to explore with the man, and something you donât dare bring up as heâs opening up to you.
It doesnât matter how fast your heart hammers in your chest, or the way that blood pumps loudly behind your ears. The mixed signals, the confusing push and pull that seems to go hand-in-hand with the brute across from you, none of that matters with the air heavy with the weight of a confession long kept behind bars, never shared with a soul.
Even Toji doesnât know, of that youâre certain.
So, you swallow hard and put your focus into his expression, something akin to guilt, averting your attention away from the warmth of his hand as best as you can.
âI couldnât,â he admits, a look of disdain clouding his vision. âKaori was fine for the first few years that I knew her. She was a good enough mom to Cho and sometimes me when she wanted to be,â he shrugs, a bitter snarl tugging at his lips. âFunny. She had us all fooled.â
You nod slowly, just to tell Sukuna youâre listening.
âThe week before my grandpa died, we had freshman year finals. I fucked up-â he breathes, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity. âFailed all four in my last semester. Wasnât doinâ anything important, I was just beinâ a dumbass.â He shrugs, his grip on your hand tightening. âThey were gonna hold me back nâ I didnât wanna be apart from Toji or my friends, so him and I broke in.â
âTo the school?â
He shoots you a look that you recognize. One that says obviously, though he keeps his mouth shut, continuing without answering your question. Nowâs not exactly the time to be teasing you over whatâs just your way of showing youâre listening.
âThe plan was fucking stupid from the start. Thought we could change my grades without my dad or the school knowing. Dunno, I was a kid. It made sense to us back then.â He scoffs at his own ill thought-out plan. âI got arrested. Made sure Toji got away, didnât want his family goinâ off on him so I covered for him,â he shrugs. âThey had to call a guardian, so I gave âem Kaoriâs number.â
Your head tilts and even in the midst of the heavy air, Sukuna wants to scoff at the way his blood pumps faster. âWerenât you close to your dad? Why not call him?â
Sukuna nods slowly in acknowledgement. âWe were close, yeah, but he was a teacher and I was smart, got good grades nâ shit. He was the type who didnât really get mad, just disappointed, which was worse than whatever I thought Kaori would do.â
âWhat did she do?â
âNothing,â he sighs, leaning his chin on the ball of his free hand over the table. âI never got charged, and she bribed the school into passing me, actually. It was cool of her at the time.â
Your lips purse as you listen intently. Itâs a lot to take in, though you did always picture Sukuna and Toji being the type to pull a stunt like that given that you know about Sukunaâs days trying not to get caught with an incriminating can of spray paint.
âSo, you didnât tell him because she did you a favor?â You confirm with a furrowed brow. Favor or not, youâre not sure you could keep a secret like that from your parents.
But neither could Sukuna. âFuck no,â Sukuna chuckles dryly, tensing his jaw. âI went to tell him the moment I saw her. It woulda been cruel to tell him at the funeral, but I thought it was worse to keep it from him.â
You nod intently.
âThat-â His teeth are gritted as he cuts himself off, choosing his words wisely around you.
Though honestly, sheâs deserving of the title he clearly wants to give her.
âShe fucking blackmailed me,â he hisses. âChased after me nâ told me sheâd have the school charge me and fucking fail me,â he growls, the crease between his brows so harsh that you almost think he might give himself a headache.
Pulling his hand away from your grip, he leans back in the booth once more, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. âThe fuck was I supposed to do, fail? I was terrified of disappointing my dad,â he shrugs. âI got my shit together the next year, but christ, she fucking played me. I didnât know how my record worked back then either, getting charged with a crime when youâre fourteen or some shit feels like the end of the damn world.â
In a rare moment of genuine vulnerability, a look of innocence settles in his eyes, fleeting. You often forget just how young Sukuna was when his life got turned sideways. Even his teenage years sent him through a turmoil you canât begin to imagine. With all his rough edges and hardened lines, itâs easy to forget that the man in front of you has a soft inside so full of a genuine love for his family and even for life. That flame got taken from him bit by bit before he ever got the chance to nurture it, stuck quelling his own desires in order to make ends meet.
Though he pulled away from your hand, you find his foot beneath the table with yours, gently nudging it. âYou didnât tell him after she left?â
He uselessly throws his hands up in a shrug, his tired expression increasingly obvious in the warm overhead light of the ramen shop. âI didnât have the heart to tell him. I thinkâŠâ he trails off, inhaling sharply, âat some point I realized he was gonna die, and I didnât want him to think his wife didnât love him at the end.â
Your lips part, jaw hanging slightly ajar at the weight of his confession. His sorrow grips your stomach, twisting it as your expression falls. âIâm so sorry, Kuna.â
He eyes you for a moment, choosing not to reply.
The silence stretches on, your hand remaining where he left it on the table when he leaned back. A part of you wishes he would take it again so that you can offer him silent comfort, pushing down the lingering yearning that comes with such a tender action. His mind seems to be elsewhere though, his eyes glazed as he stares distantly at the decorated wall beside him.
Letting the moment linger, you find yourself pulling your hand back to stir your nearly forgotten soup. Itâs still mildly steaming thankfully, which youâre grateful for given the cold weather. Less fortunately, your stomach wrenches at the thought of eating under the weight of Sukunaâs admission hanging heavy in the air.
âDo you think you could bring that up at the trial?â You query quietly. Although the judge had shut it down today, it does have pertinent information about Kaoriâs character.
He shakes his head. âNah, it doesnât look good on either of us. I shouldnât have brought it up in the first place, was just pissed,â he grumbles, scratching his jaw. With a deep sigh, he returns to his soup as well, taking small sips of the broth in an effort to not let the food go to waste, though heâs equally as uneasy as you are.
âWas she like that a lot? Blackmailing you and⊠stuff?â You wave your chopsticks through the air as you both pick at your food.
âSomethinâ like that. She just stopped pretending to give a shit, I guess,â he shrugs. âWasnât just me, either. Choso too,â he sighs, his brow tugging into a scowl. âMother of the year,â he grumbles with a dramatic wave of his chopsticks in mock celebration.
If anything, it only leaves you with more questions about why sheâd want the kids. Sukuna makes it sound like she didnât care back then, what could have changed now? Of course, thereâs the possibility that Sukuna could be wrong, but it seems unlikely given Kaoriâs track record and her behavior earlier. The lies sheâd told under oath at the courthouse may have slipped past the judge, but you saw through her.
The way she looked at you, as though you were a pawn in some game sends a shiver up your spine.
Nudging his foot as he sips a spoonful of broth, you catch his attention again. âIs she always so⊠â You trail off, coming to the realization that you donât know exactly how to describe the way Kaori acts.
He hums questioningly. âWhat, fake?â He asks, watching as you raise your spoon to your lips.
âYeah, likeâŠâ You pause, holding your spoon out in front of you. âI donât know, too sweet and caring?â
Sukuna scoffs, a hint of amusement skirting the edges of his tone. âSince the funeral, yeah.â
Poking the inside of your cheek in thought, you contemplate whether any details from Sukunaâs past could be used in the trial, but Kaori or her lawyer always seemed to have some well thought-out refute for every time Sukuna attempted to bring up her track record.
Itâs almost strange, in a way, to think about how easily the judge seemed to decline any objections from Sukunaâs lawyer.
Nudging your foot to bring you back to the present, Sukuna gruffs out a âhey,â catching you off-guard. As your body jolts in surprise, your spoon tilts and the broth spills across the front of your painfully white blouse, the warmth seeping through the material. The squeak of shock that you let out sends concern rippling through Sukunaâs entire being like lightning.
âShit,â he breathes, standing abruptly and offering napkins as he averts his gaze from the outline of your bra thatâs now startlingly obvious. His gaze rounds the table as though in search of something that might fix the situation. âFuck, did it burn you?â
Blinking as the initial shock passes, you shake your head. âOh- um, no! No, itâs just warm.â And thank god for that, had you not waited a bit before eating, this likely would have been a hell of a lot worse. Reaching for the napkins Sukuna offers, you dab at the stain, chewing on your lip at how glaringly obvious it is, and even worse, how see-through your blouse is. You consider putting on your winter coat, but between the warm soup and heated building, that just might melt you.
Great.
Coming to the same conclusion that you have, Sukuna slips out of his suit jacket without thinking, wordlessly handing it over to you. Gratefully taking it from him, your cheeks heat up once more at the sight of his jacket draped over you. You canât help but giggle at the way it absolutely dwarfs you in size. The sound of your laughter puts the man across from you at ease.
Between how painfully cute you look giggling in his suit jacket and the smile he has to physically fight off at the sight of you adorned in his clothes, Sukuna finds himself able to take a seat, leaning on his elbows with his hands clasped in front of his mouth.
Heâd be lying if he said blood wasnât flowing south too.
A thought crosses his mind. Something that heâs been running from, but he sets it aside. He shouldnât even be considering the implications behind his heartâs pounding or the smile he finds himself chewing on his own cheek to fight off as he hides behind his hands. What he needs to focus on right now is your well-being.
At least, thatâs what heâll tell himself as he keeps running from that familiar thought. He knows itâs cowardly, but heâs not sure heâs in the right state of mind to face it.
âYou alright, princess?â He asks from behind his hands, composing himself.
âHm? Yeah, donât worry! It wasnât hot. Sorry I wasnât paying attention,â you reply with a small smile, unbothered.
Your friend hums from across the table. âYou have an unhealthy relationship with hot liquids.â
Your brow furrows as you hold his jacket around you to prevent the see-through patch from being visible. âSince when?â You canât recall another time youâve spilled around him.
âThe oil,â he reminds you.
Your lips purse as you scour your memory, brow shooting up as the image of an employee passing you with a bucket of oil passes through your mind. The feeling of Sukunaâs arm effortlessly holding you off the ground sends an equal amount of heat through your cheeks as the embarrassment of the near-incident itself. âOh yeah,â you murmur, quickly scowling to deflect his accusation. âThat was so long ago!â
âMaybe,â he shrugs, no longer hiding his smirk now that heâs fallen into familiar territory with you. âYa still needed to be rescued, though,â he pokes fun at you.
Groaning playfully, you give him a light kick to the shin under the table, causing his smirk to shift into a full-on grin as he chuckles at your expense. âYouâre such a dick!â You insist.
âMm, tell me somethinâ I donât know.â
Rolling your eyes, you return to your ramen, careful not to spill, lest you get teased further.
Though the more you think about it as you catch glimpses of Sukunaâs mild and easy smile as he eats, maybe you wouldnât mind making a fool of yourself if it means heâs in a good headspace. Especially given the day heâs already had, thereâs satisfaction to be found in seeing Sukuna laugh.
The real Sukuna.
The one that makes your stomach flutter and your heart flip.
It hurts in a way that youâre not quite prepared for, a way thatâs painfully lonely in spite of being across from the person that you never quite stopped loving.
Bittersweet, you keep the tone light as easy conversation settles between you once more. Even if you hold onto your cautious inhibitions, thereâs relaxation to be found in the shared warmth. âToji told me you used to do a lot of graffiti.â
He scoffs, amused. âBeen a while, but yeah.â
âHe said you used to tag all the basketball courts you hung out at.â
Humming, Sukuna nods as he slurps up a noodle. âMhm. Courts, tunnels, nâ old trains.â
âSo what did you usually tag things as? Like, your name?â
Sukunaâs content smile falters, a pale pink shade dusting his cheeks. âSomethinâ like that.â
A grin slowly spreads across your lip. âIs it embarrassing?â You ask, leaning in. He glances up at you, pointedly taking another bite to avoid your interrogation. âCome on, it canât be that bad. You know I named myself âFlowerâ in Animal Crossing.â
His brow raises. âWerenât you like five when you played that shit?â He retorts.
âYeah, butâŠâ you trail off with a shrug. âCome on, please Kuna?â
And when you tilt your head like that, your eyes gleaming like heâs a masterpiece to behold, who is he to say no?
With a drawn out sigh, he pinches the bridge of his nose. âThe King,â he murmurs, keeping his eyes shut to avoid your judgement. And for good reason as you fail miserably at fighting your grin.
When you donât reply, he finally peeks an eye open, regretting it immediately when you break, a fit of giggles taking over.
Clicking his tongue, he rolls his eyes dramatically. âItâs not that bad,â he grumbles.
âItâs not, itâs not!â You insist between giggles, coughing in an effort to cover them as he stares at you in disdain. âItâs just⊠so you.â
âThe fuck does that mean?â He gruffs.
âJust-â you pause, covering your lips as if he wonât be able to tell youâre still struggling not to laugh. â- I donât know! Itâs just exactly what Iâd expect from you.â
âThen whatâs so funny about it?â He scoffs, glowering across the table.
âKuna,â you stare at him expectantly, as though he should just know. âCome on, you were- what? Sixteen? When you came up with that, right?â You query, met with a hum of agreement. âItâs just- itâs cute!â You insist as Sukuna continues to scowl at you. âItâs just- funny to picture a little Sukuna who thought he was really cool for that.â
His brow twitches, his hardened expression cracking. Of course Sukuna thought he was cool. He couldnât just be âKingâ either, no, he had to be The King. He snorts at the thought, bringing a hand up to cover his face as he chuckles. Your giggles turn into a full blown outburst of laughter thatâs even contagious for Sukuna as he finds himself hunched over the table at the thought of a time long past.
Your shared laughter is musical, filling the air with a fondness thatâs been missing from your lives for so long you both thought it was lost. Each moment spent basking in it, you find yourself slowly letting your guard down just a little bit more.
âI wish I could have seen one of your tags,â you grin, eyes crinkling at the corners in delight. âI guess it was a long time ago though.â
His tongue runs along his lower lip, teeth digging into the flesh to stop himself from smiling and giving away his secret.
âNo way.â
He stares at the wall, his cheeks now painted in a pale rose as he leans on his elbow. His hand muffles his words as he attempts to cover his smile with it. âI think thereâs one thatâs still there.â
âSorry, whatâs that?â You tease.
Shooting you a knowing look from his peripherals, he makes a show of huffing. âYou heard me, princess.â
âWhere is it?â
âDoesnât matter,â he dismisses.
âCome on, please?â
âNo,â he grumbles behind his hand, turning to face you finally as if in a challenge.
âIâll ask Choso.â
His confidence falters as the gears visibly turn in his mind. He actually canât remember if Choso knows, but thereâs a very real possibility that he does. Sukuna wasnât exactly the model brother and Choso was there for a decent chunk of his time spray painting random alleys and trains. Choso was just happy to be there with his brother, unaware of the criminality of his older brotherâs actions.
With a sigh, he drags his hand over his face in defeat. âYâknow the skate park two stops past work?â
âI think so.â
âI figured out how to tag the ceiling under the bridge, itâs probably still there.â
âOh my god, we have to go after work sometime,â you gasp in delight.
He opens his mouth to say no, but the words die in his throat at the sight of you grinning with stars in your eyes. This is the most normal things have been with you in the past couple of months, and now youâre the one asking to hang out. Not out of pity or to help his brothers. Not for work, or school. Blowing a puff of air from his nose, he relents. âYeah, alright. If thatâs what you want,â he grumbles, though even for all his grumbling, the warm look in his eyes says otherwise.
That same warmth spreads to his chest as you beam at him with a triumphant âyesss!â, one hand clutching your spoon as you return to your soup while the other holds his suit jacket over yourself. It drapes over your body like a dress, it's so long. The shoulders of the jacket droop, your form nowhere near as broad as his, yet somehow you make it look intentional. As though his jacket belongs to you and it always has.
His bowl of ramen sits empty as he finds his attention drawn to you. As you finish whatâs left of your soup, his mind wanders. The reality heâs been running from seems to draw closer, seeping into the edges of his mind with each passing moment.
But along with it comes a guilt that settles like stones in his stomach.
âYouâre still beinâ too nice to me,â he blurts out.
When you meet his gaze with a raised brow, you shake your head. âIs that a bad thing?â
He knows itâs a rhetorical question, your kind way of telling him that you want to be nice, but self-sabotage is his closest friend. âYouâve always been too nice to me. After all the shit I pulled, youâre still-â he just shakes his head, his gaze drawn to the small remaining pool of soup at the bottom of his bowl. In the depths of the dish, he finds his reflection staring back at him once more, distorting each time either of you shuffle or knock the table.
With each distortion of his own picture, he finds himself frowning. It makes him look older, somehow. As though heâs grown weathered and worn. Itâs been so long since he lost himself that each glance at a mirror serves as a reminder of the missing pieces of himself, fracturing in the ripples of the soup beneath him.
Maybe thatâs why he clings so desperately to you and his brothers. You carry pieces of him that he recognizes, while heâs nothing more than a shadow of what once was.
âKuna,â you scold lightly as you recognize the look in his eyes, giving his foot a nudge and capturing his sharp gaze. âStop it.â
You know you donât need to elaborate, he understands. He knows the multitude of meanings behind your words. The guilt boiling at the pit of his stomach isnât so easily swayed, though. âJust thought youâd learned your lesson.â
You laugh lightly, humoring him. âOh, I did,â you affirm. His brow raises, the distance in his eyes clearing just enough to find intrigue in his gaze. âIf youâre a dick on purpose again, Iâm not sticking around to be treated like that,â you smirk, your tone too warm for the words that slip past your lips.
Amused at both your choice of words and your confidence, Sukuna snorts. âGood,â he hums, shoving his bowl aside in hopes that his dreary thoughts will go along with it. âKeep it that way. The confidence looks good on you, princess.â No matter the circumstances he finds himself in, he knows he wouldnât- couldnât- dare to say such outright hurtful things to you again.
Heat rises up your neck like a wildfire, averting your eyes in an effort to fend it off. Luckily, the waitress returns to the table and shields you from Sukuna teasing your shyness as you ask for the bill. She returns a moment later and lets you know to pay at the front.
âReady?â You hum, bracing your hands on the bench. When Sukuna nods, you push yourself out of the seat, brushing down Sukunaâs suit jacket before handing it back to him with a sweet âthank youâ as you throw your winter coat over your stained blouse.
Heading to the front of the shop, you pull out your card as the waitress prepares the keypad, but before you can move a muscle, Sukuna slots his card into the reader.
âSukuna, what? No-â you reach out in an attempt to pull his card away. âI told you Iâd pay. Ah-!â An involuntary squeak leaves you as Sukuna pulls your hand away from his card and uses a strong arm around your shoulders to slot you against him, holding you away from the machine. Even as you claw at his bicep and struggle against him in a fit of giggles and protests to let you go, he effortlessly holds you in place.
Itâs such an obvious display of his muscles and youâre painfully sure he can feel the heat radiating from your skin given how close his arm is to your collar and neck. And really, how are you not supposed to think about his stupidly buff arm when the veins are right in your vision?
Asshole.
When he finally releases his grip and you stumble forward, fixing him with a pout, he just smirks at you.
âI was gonna pay!â You insist.
He shrugs. âRamen wonât break the bank. Itâs worth it for you.â
Any protests die in your throat as all you can do is blink at him. Your lips purse, his words settling in your mind.
Had he just said that itâs worth it, you wouldnât have thought twice about it, itâs the way he specified that itâs worth it for you. Sukuna returns to his business like itâs nothing, tucking his card into his wallet and shoving his hands in his pockets, but it takes you a moment to follow after him as he pushes back out into the cold.
The brisk air hardly even hits you. Sure, itâs gotten a bit warmer, but thatâs not what youâre focused on when the intonation behind Sukunaâs words only leaves you shocked, and worse, confused. You know your friendship with him runs deeper than most that he bothers to foster and you hold a place within his life that heâs willing to fight for, but this strikes you in a way that your usual banter and nudges donât.
It brings you back to the way youâd been stunned when he intertwined your fingers in a way that felt so real.
You remember his rejection all too well, and yet⊠Now youâre not so sure how he feels. Maybe youâre reading into things too much, maybe this is all part of him earning your trust back, but your racing heart wants to think otherwise.
Maybe itâs all just a sick delusion.
Swallowing hard, you push aside your thoughts as you crawl back into your shell, the sudden realization of something altogether confusing leaving you scared. âDo you need a ride?â
âNah,â Sukuna replies, the face of stoicism. He digs into his pocket, setting a cigarette between his lips. âGonna walk to the kidsâ school nâ wait. Itâll give me some time to think,â he gruffs, his voice muffled from the cigarette. His lighter clicks as it ignites, the ashen edge of the cigarette glowing like a firefly.
âSounds good. Iâll see you Tuesday?â
âSee ya, princess.â
â
The office is quiet come Tuesday. Even Yuki only stole about ten minutes of your time, mostly to complain about the fact that sheâs still not done with Baby Whale, and sheâs absolutely sick of it.
And really, who can blame her?
Finishing up your work, you send it over to Yuki for review and approval, met with an immediate pout from her as your email pops up in her inbox right away. With an innocent smile, youâre just about to offer to take something off her plate since youâre a bit ahead of schedule when Maya pings you with a request to come see her.
Excusing yourself, you make your way over to her office with dread twisting your gut.
She likely just has a question, but thereâs something stressful about being summoned to your bossâ office no matter the occasion.
Or maybe thatâs just how your brain works, finding worries in the least likely of places.
Knocking, you push into Mayaâs office with a polite smile, casting a glance to the side at the sight of Sukuna manspreading in a chair across from Mayaâs desk with his arms crossed over his chest. Your eyes fall to his forearms, the veins protruding over rippling muscles with his sleeves pushed up. God, heâs distracting.
His aloof stare falls flickers to you before he fixes his attention on Maya again.
âHey,â she greets, sitting up and clasping her hands professionally. Something about the momentous air in the room doesnât settle your nerves as she addresses you. âSorry, Sukuna and I were just finishing up his one-month review,â she explains as she hands him some paperwork. You canât make out how it went based on either of their expressions. âWhile I have him here, I figured Iâd call you in as well. The client pushed the due date forward on Leeâs Adventure. How far along are the edits and cover? They want them by tomorrow but I donât want to push either of you,â she explains.
âI finalized the edits this morning, Yuki just needs to review. I can take some of her work to balance her workload,â you offer.
âGimme an hour and the coverâs done,â Sukuna replies mildly.
âYou two are lifesavers, thank you,â she sighs in relief. âI swear, as soon as we finish this, Iâm done with this agent,â she grumbles. âSend me the cloud file once itâs uploaded, Sukuna. Iâll wait for Yuki and let her know youâll take something from her.â
Once dismissed, you stretch your arms overhead as you make your way out into the main office. The moment Sukuna shuts Mayaâs door, he turns towards you. âCoffee?â
Huh, you hadnât even realized he didnât bring you one today. âDonât you need to work on the cover?â
âI finished it last night,â he dismisses with a smirk. âCome get coffee with me.â
You canât help the bubbly laughter that comes with the realization of why he asked for an hour, nodding. You both make pit stops at your offices before making your way out the front door. The snow has mostly cleared and itâs finally warm enough to be in a spring jacket rather than a winter one. With the weather finally easing up, itâs nice to be outside again. No breath billowing out in front of you as your ears and the tips of your fingers freeze, just a light breeze that rustles your hair.
Thereâs a shop only a couple of blocks from the office that youâve only tried once when you got to work a bit early that you had enjoyed. Itâs not Sukunaâs usual choice, but his order is about as simple as it gets, so surely it canât be too bad no matter where he goes.
âYou go first,â he urges as you arrive, letting you tell the cashier what youâd like. He steps forward and requests a black coffee, playfully shoving you aside in the process because he knows you well enough to know you were about to try to pay.
âYou have to let me pay for something,â you groan in mock disdain.
He shrugs, not even offering any words.
Sighing, you shake your head. âThanks, Kuna.â
He hums in acknowledgement, handing your drink over as it slides across the counter.
Once his arrives, he leads the way to a table and slides down in the chair, taking a sip of his coffee. He sighs at the familiar taste, grateful to finally get some caffeine in his system to keep him awake.
âSo, howâd your review go?â You ask, taking slow sips of your warm drink.
âPretty good,â he nods, glancing off to the side in thought. He seems tired again, though given that you both thought the trial was last Thursday, the kids probably did too, which really would only extend Sukunaâs troubles. âI guess the fucker who thought you were his personal assistant complained, but other than that she seemed pretty happy.â
Shaking your head, you roll your eyes. âReggieâs the worst. Heâs so full of himself.â
Yawning, your friend shrugs again. âWhatever. She didnât really seem like she cared that he complained.â
âThatâs good at least. I donât think anyone really likes him, so-â
You cut yourself off as Sukuna begins digging in his pocket abruptly, scowling at his vibrating phone as he processes the name on the caller ID.
âHello?â
From your perspective, he continues to glower at nothing in particular as he listens to whoeverâs on the other line. He hums or grunts in reply, though he doesnât offer much for insight until something seems to catch his attention.
âWhat?â He growls, hackles raised as heâs suddenly sitting upright. âIt shouldnât be ready for weeks.â
More silence as Sukuna runs a hand through his hair, tousling it. âThe f-â he cuts himself off, adjusting his phrasing, âwhat does it say, anyway?â
You take a sip of your coffee, trying to give him privacy, but itâs hard when you left your phone at the office and have no distraction beyond your surroundings.
He sighs heavily, waving his hand uselessly through the air in exasperation. âGotta be kidding me, of course it does.â
Huffing as he continues to listen to the caller, his frustrations quickly explode into full-blown fury. âHow? You said we shoulda had fuckinâ weeks, how is that fucking possible?â He barks.
Your eyes widen at the sudden change in tone. The tattooed man casts a glance around the cafe before abruptly standing and pushing out the door to continue his conversation outside. Choosing to give him privacy, you stay in your seat, watching with concern as he throws his hands in the air in disbelief from outside the window. It takes a few minutes before he hangs up and dumps his phone into his pocket. He throws his head back, dragging his hands over his face and remaining there for a good minute before swinging the cafe door back open with enough vigor that it meets the wall behind it.
Sukuna plops down in the chair across from you, picking up the coffee heâd left on the table and downing it in one go. Your brow raises as you regard him with concern.
Before you can voice your concern, Sukuna speaks up. âWhatâre you doing tomorrow morning?â He asks tersely, his gaze fixated on the paper cup in his grasp that heâs struggling not to crush in his own bout of irritation.
âUm-â you hesitate, scouring your mind for anything important. âJust classes, why?â
âThe fuckinâ trialâs tomorrow.â
You recoil in horror, eyes wide. âWhat? How?â
âFuckinâ Kaori,â he hisses. âFucking snake put an urgent push on the date and I guess it only needs twenty four hoursâ notice,â he growls, the cup in his hand fracturing under the weight of his hold. He sets it down on the table before whatever liquidâs left in the paper cup drips onto his gray slacks. âCanât believe theyâre letting her get away with this shit.â
âWouldnât she need, like, evidence or something to make it urgent?â You shake your head quizzically, trying to make sense of the sudden weight placed on Sukuna. It had only been a handful of days since heâd come to terms with the fact that he had more time and now the rug is being pulled out from under him as fast as it had been laid out.
Sukuna shakes his head and shrugs at once. âI donât fuckinâ know.â His tone is disdainful as he harshly rubs his hands over his face. âShe paid for a rush on the house study and it should have been done in a few weeks instead of months, not a few fuckinâ days,â he snaps, not directed at anyone in particular.
âYou donât thinkâŠâ you trail off, chewing on your lower lip as you bring up something thatâs been gnawing at you.
âYeah, I do fucking think this shit is rigged,â he finishes your thought, pushing a hand through his salmon locks. He exhales heavily, eyes alight. âFuck, I just told the kids things were okay and now Iâm a fucking liar, and sheâs fuckinâ cheating somehow, I- I donât-â his anger and anxiety begin to blur, the lines separating them beginning to converge as his leg bounces beneath the table.
The fire in his eyes is quickly extinguished by fear as he considers what his next twenty four hours will look like.
You canât watch despair take over without stepping in. Reaching across the table, you offer your hand. âIâll be there. Class doesnât matter. What time?â
He turns his attention to you, his eyes flickering between your face and your outstretched hand. âTen thirty,â he grumbles, cautiously reaching out to squeeze your hand. âThanks, princess.â
With a sympathetic smile, you nod.
âShit, I gottaâŠâ he trails off, inhaling sharply. âI gotta get home nâ meet with the lawyer,â he mumbles, his day immediately cut short by none other than Kaori.
Squeezing his hand reassuringly, you capture his attention again. âDo you want some tea or something before you leave?â You offer, recalling how fast he downed his coffee.
Sukuna nods hesitantly. âAnother coffee would be nice,â he mumbles, standing before you can move. âI can get it, though.â
âLet me get you this,â you plead as you push to your feet.
He takes a moment to examine the determined gleam in your eyes before giving in. âSure.â
With a new cup of coffee in hand shortly afterwards, he thanks you quietly as you begin the short and tense walk back to work. The morning had seemed so easy barely a half hour ago, and now you canât help but think that you took that sensation for granted.
Silence follows you as you let yourselves back into the building, quietly following Sukuna to his office while you stand in the doorway as he begins packing up.
âDonât forget to send that cover to Maya,â you remind him.
He mutters a curse under his breath, the dark circles under his eyes painfully apparent as he pulls his laptop back out and quickly sends the files over to your boss.
Once heâs finished packing up, his coffee in-hand, you stop him before the door with a hand on his forearm. He regards you with a look that breathes only exhaustion.
âItâll be okay,â you reassure him.
Despite the swirling anger and anxiety living within the crimson oceans of his irises, something stronger breaks through when he steels himself as he replies. âI know. I wonât let her fuckinâ win.â
You offer a smile, grateful for the resolve that he continues to nurture despite his own doubts. His brothers need him, and heâll play the role he needs to in order to win the trial, no matter how much he feels as though heâs at his witâs end. You can only pray he holds himself above water long enough to keep himself from drowning.
âGood luck, Kuna.â
He examines your expression for a moment, simply nodding as he pulls away from your grasp and slips out the front door without a word.
â
Your stomach churns uncomfortably as you stare in the mirror. Itâs funny, the way youâd felt so prepared for this day for so long, but now that itâs here, it sits like a molten lava in your stomach. It churns and sears at your insides, unsettling you to your very core. If this is how youâre feeling as a bystander, you can only imagine the way Sukunaâs feeling right now.
Theyâre not your family, not your brothers, but theyâre dear to you. All three of them.
Running your hands down the front of your black pencil skirt, you nod to yourself in the mirror. Fiddling with the sleeve of your (now stain-free) white blouse, you gather your keys and throw on a nice coat and professional plain black heels.
Even the thought of listening to music doesnât seem right on the drive to the courthouse. Your mind is filled with trepidation, your finger tapping idly at the leather steering wheel as you opt for silence on the way there.
The world around you seems to hold its breath as you step out of your vehicle, your heels landing on fresh pavement. The birds overhead are silent, although a pair of crows eye you from their perch atop a tree. The air is suffocating, and you long for the relief that the end of this hearing will surely bring.
Your gaze falls on the large wooden doors at the front of the familiar stone building with flags at either side. The sheer size alone is imposing enough as is, but the cool and smooth exterior of the monotonous building does no favors to ease your stress. You would almost think they want you to be nervous upon arrival.
Pushing through the doors, youâre reminded that the inside is no better. After making it through security, there are very few windows, the artificial overhead lighting beating down on you as though itâs passing its own judgement. A large reception desk sits at the center of the room, alongside a pair of hallways on either end of the lobby. Evaluating the vaguely familiar room, you find the person youâre searching for fairly easily, his hair standing out in the waiting crowd with Ms. Harte sitting silently beside him.
The click of your heels alerts Sukuna to your presence before you take a seat beside him. Heâs dressed to the nines, but you donât have the luxury of appreciating just how good he looks given the gravity of the situation. When he lifts his head, you find yourself frowning regardless. His eyes are little more than an endless sea of doubts, stress, fears, and misery. Thereâs a distance glazed over his eyes that suggests heâs not all there right now, hanging on by a thread.
Heâs worn so thin that even the sight of you doesnât ease any of the thoughts running through his mind. Heâs gone over the case so many times with his lawyer in the past twenty four hours that heâs not sure he even can be any more prepared, yet he still finds himself feeling vastly underprepared. The short notice in particular claws at the very flesh of his being, as though Kaori is personally taunting him.
âHey.â Your voice is soft as you offer him a smile, but your nerves are evident in the twitch of your brow. His pupils slide slowly from your face down to your wrist, where he can faintly see the red and purple twine bracelets hidden beneath your semi-translucent sleeve. You may be here in part to support him, which he appreciates more than you could ever know, but he knows the gravity of this situation affects you too, given how much you adore his little brothers.
He almost regrets ever dragging you into this part of his life. The only reason he can even dare to put the word âalmostâ in that thought is because if he ever dared to express that, youâd chew him out. He thinks heâd let you without so much as batting an eye either, because he needs you.
âSukuna?â You softly call out to him and his gaze finally raises from your wrist once more to meet your eyes. He examines you for a moment, his finger twitching as he longs to reach out. He longs for the comfort the warmth of your soft skin brings him, but his own self-doubt plagues him down as though heâs wading through mud. He barely has enough strength to keep himself afloat, let alone to dare ask for something.
He knows heâs made leaps and bounds of progress in your relationship over the last few weeks, but as he braves the fog of his mind, he canât seem to make sense of the lines that separate you anymore. He canât bear the thought of overstepping.
As is, thereâs already a risk he loses his brothers. He canât lose you, too.
Not again.
Clearing his throat, he gruffly pushes out a reply. âHey.â
Your brow furrows, âDo you need some water?â You offer, sure you can find somewhere to get him some.
He shakes his head. âNah. Iâm fine.â
You both know well that itâs a lie. Neither of you are fine.
The dejected tone he speaks in doesnât do him any favors, either. To think this is the same man you met so many months ago almost seems like a joke. Usually so full of pride and bravado, the world has stomped out every last flame that once made up the stubborn brute. He seems almost like a shell of his former self.
Itâs strange, when you consider what youâd just told Shoko last week, that Sukuna seems more like himself. The more you think about it, now youâre not so sure. Itâs as though his own life is beating him down into a person that you wonder if he even recognizes.
Your heart twists at the thought that somewhere along the line, the man sitting beside you lost himself.
He lost you, he lost himself, and now heâs at risk of losing whatâs left of his world.
It only makes you more furious with his step-mother. You donât see her or her lawyer on this side of the waiting room, and thank god for that. The look of control she always bears makes your skin crawl.
âHow are Choso and Yuji?â You keep your voice low as you check in on your friend and his brothers.
Sukuna sighs quietly. âUraumeâs with âem. Couldnât get them to go to school. When I told âem what was going on, ChosoâŠâ He just shakes his head, rubbing his eyes with a thumb and forefinger.
âHe shut down?â
Sukuna hums in thought. âNo, I think heâs tryinâ to listen to you.â He shuffles in his seat, sitting up. Tugging at his collar and tie uncomfortably, he cracks his neck. âI just dunno what to do. Heâs outside my door tryinâ to talk every few minutes, but I-â With a shrug, he shakes his head again. He knows you get him. He doesnât need to tell you that he doesnât have a way with words, you know.
âHe just needs you to be there for him. You donât have to say anything.â
The crimson of his eyes seems to swirl with doubts as he examines you, but he finds it in himself to nod, slumping back in the chair once more.
âHowâd the house study turn out?â You query, hoping that will at least help his case.
Shakily sighing, he tilts his head in a âso-soâ manner. âNo issues with the house,â he states, his gaze fixated on an empty chair in front of him. âBut they looked at the kidsâ mental health as well, and Yuâs went fine but ChoâŠâ he shakes his head with a sigh, knowing he doesnât need to spell it out for you. âGood news is they gave us a record of what both kids said and asked âem both about me and Kaori.ââ
âThat should help,â you agree, thankful that even if Choso is too young to testify, at least the kidsâ opinions are taken into account to some degree.
âYeahâŠâ He agrees, though he doesnât seem to share your optimism, his gaze still painfully distant with the weight of his ambivalence.
Unable to keep his mind on-track for a conversation, he inhales sharply as the tense silence of the courthouse surrounds you both. The closer the time strikes to ten thirty, the more the air seems claustrophobic despite the high ceilings and large, open lobby. With each second that passes, Sukuna finds his leg bouncing quicker, his mind racing faster, and his heart damn-near pounding right out of his chest.
Every muscle in his body is rife with tension, and his chest could implode at any second given the burden that claws at his lungs. He can only sit with his hands clasped in his lap, acting as though the taste in his mouth isnât so vile that he could wretch.
Quietly drowning, he doesnât dare to even cast you a glance. As though every mistake heâs ever made with his brothers isnât already crashing through his mind like a wave, he canât bear to consider the ones heâs made with you.
But youâve always been too sweet to him.
In a silent show of support, your fingers glide across the skin of his clasped hands, settling atop them. You run your thumb gently over his knuckles, the warmth of your skin soothing the frigid water that threatens his lungs. The sympathy on your features would frustrate him if you were anyone else, but from you, it doesnât taste so bitter.
He takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes. His leg gradually stops bouncing as your thumb continues to softly brush his skin. He casts you a grateful glance despite his silence, too afraid of ruining the moment and losing the one thing keeping him sane.
Itâs funny, really. Or maybe funny isnât the right word. But Sukuna remembers a time where nothing scared him. He remembers being the type of kid who would dive headfirst into a fist fight with someone bigger than him just because they bumped into him.
Heâd even gotten off lucky once when heâd thrown a punch at some rich kid tattling on him for skateboarding in a park where it was prohibited, but heâd narrowly missed and slammed his fist into the wall. Why is that lucky? Because the money Jin had to spend fixing Sukunaâs fist is nothing compared to the money he could have spent on a worthless lawsuit. That was also one of the first times Sukuna had ever experienced the true shame in being at the center of Jinâs disappointment.
Itâs also the single moment in his life that decided that he would call Kaori rather than Jin when he was arrested.
But Sukunaâs world has flipped on its head, and thatâs not who he is anymore. He doesnât have the luxury of throwing reckless punches at the wall.
He needs to be better, for his brothers. He wants to be better and build a world where they can have what Sukuna couldnât.
He casts you a glance. Youâre part of that world, too, though he struggles to identify what role it is that you play.
âCase number 2493, Sukuna versus Itadori.â
Sukunaâs head whips up to face a man in a full suit standing at the edge of the waiting area with a woman dressed equally as pristinely at his side. He recognizes them as the bailiff and court clerk, ready to lead the way to the family courtroom and staring expectantly at the waiting crowd.
Ms. Harte gets to her feet, leading the way with a confident gait. She greets the court clerk and bailiff with a professional smile while waiting on Sukuna whoâs much slower to get to his feet. He pulls his hands away from you, brushing his suit down and adjusting his tie. He loosens it slightly, but the choking feeling heâs experiencing isnât the tie at all.
Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he glances back over the chair as though he might be forgetting something, before following after the lawyer. Although your nerves are more subtle than Sukunaâs, you find yourself following his lead, brushing down your outfit as though your presence has any bearing on the case.
From the opposite side of the waiting room comes Kaori in a flawlessly fitted suit and pencil skirt with a new obvious display of wealth sparkling in the overhead light as it dangles from her neck with matching earrings to boot. Her confidence is picturesque with not a single hair out of place. Her lawyer, Mr. Cahn, stands as proudly as ever beside her in a navy suit, equally as prepared as she seems.
Youâve only seen her once before, for such a brief period of time as she drove Sukuna through hoops in an effort to take her children from him, and yet were this not a courthouse, you would have words for her. Choice words. You didnât know back then the lengths she was willing to go through to ruin Sukunaâs life, and now you can only wonder what more is in store.
Youâre not one to raise your voice, nor start fights, but sheâs caused so much needless pain and suffering to those three brothers, that you find yourself wanting a fight. You can only imagine how Sukuna feels about her as you catch a glimpse of the daggers heâs sending her way.
Sheâs lucky his lawyer warned him to stay on the judgeâs good side this time around.
In your mind, sheâs the textbook definition of a monster, so her kind and somewhat sympathetic smile cast in Sukunaâs direction as she approaches immediately strikes you as fake. Much like every other nicety sheâs thrown his way over the past week.
Sukunaâs hands ball into fists at his sides as the clerk ushers your parties to a courtroom simply labeled as âfourâ. The clerk pushes his way into the small room, helping both parties get situated at separate tables before the judgeâs bench as he and the bailiff take their own seats.
The room is smaller than what youâve seen in the movies. Thereïżœïżœïżœs very little room to move around and apart from the flags that hang at the door, the small room is painted only in dull and somewhat dark tones of cream and walnut. Thereâs still no windows, the sterile overhead lights being the only source of light and painfully so. The artificial feeling of the room does no favors for your nerves.
The clerk leads you to the small section of gallery seating behind Sukuna as the only viewer of the case, though you suppose that family law likely doesnât get many spectators, so it figures that youâre alone. Still, the uncomfortable chair doesnât add any layer of comfort.
Both lawyers quietly discuss the case with their clients while awaiting the arrival of the judge. Ms. Harte emphasizes courtroom rules to Sukuna before quickly going over the points she expects Kaori to use given the documents that had been provided by the opposing lawyer during their latest disclosure of evidence and the case conference last week. Among the evidence is a variety of photos, school records, and much to Sukunaâs dismay, evidence of every transgression plaguing his troubled childhood.
Every. Single. One.
His lawyer had assured him she didnât see this being an issue given how old most of the documents are, but heâs still little more than a hulking mass of tension, while the opposing party on the opposite side of the room is the picture of confidence. That serves to make you more nervous, but Sukunaâs been the kidsâ guardian for so long that thereâs no way he can lose.
The door to the courtroom creaks open as a tall man in a gray suit enters the room. As Sukuna recognizes that the trial is about to begin, he inhales deeply, casting aside as many of his doubts as he can to present himself as one thing: determined.
For a moment, you even think you see a glimpse of the confident bravado Sukuna once wore back when you first met. It may be a mask he wears to keep up the appearance of his resolve, but a sliver of that mask bears a resemblance to the Sukuna you recognize.
He can do this.
The bailiff stands at the entrance to the room, straightening as she presents the judge. âPlease rise. The Honorable Judge Martinez is now presiding.â
The judge runs a hand through his graying hair, which seems as though it may have been black once, as he takes a seat at the head of the room. His calm and authoritative emerald eyes slide across the room, taking in the scene before him and lingering a moment too long on Sukuna for your comfort. You can only hope he isnât judging Sukunaâs ability to parent his brothers by his appearance.
That presumes anything but a fair trial, and given that Sukuna already suspects some sort of foul play on Kaoriâs end, that doesnât bode well for him.
Everything about this experience seems to differ from your expectations, as though everything youâve seen in movies and TV isnât quite right. Or maybe that only applies to family court, you canât be sure.
The judge pulls a pair of glasses from his pocket, setting them on the bridge of his nose as he reads a brief summary of the case before him. As he wasnât present during the case conference, all evidence will be new to him, which works in Sukunaâs favor as well given his outburst towards Kaori.
âPlease be seated,â comes the bailiffâs instructions. Crossing your legs, you bite your lip as the hearing begins.
Judge Martinez addresses the room. âThe court is now in session. We are here to address case 2493, Itadori versus Sukuna, for custody over the children Choso Itadori and Yuji Itadori. This is in regards to social file number 34785-98. I will be directing this case myself.â
Sukunaâs stomach flips in dread. Coming up on four years of taking care of them on his own and it all led to this. He wants to spew curses at his step-mother, to chew her up and spit her out wounded and bleeding, but he doesnât dare break his calm facade. As far as anyone in this room needs to know, heâs a picturesque guardian to his brothers.
âMs. Itadori, as the applicant in this case, we will open with your counselâs statement.â
Kaoriâs lawyer rises, bowing to the judge. He runs a hand through his well-kempt beard before beginning. âThank you, Your Honor. My name is Richard Cahn and I will be representing the applicant, Ms. Kaori Itadori. My client is applying for full custody of these children as the biological mother of Yuji Itadori and Choso Itadori. Due to unfortunate circumstances regarding her health, Ms. Itadori was unable to care for the children after the passing of her husband, Jin Itadori, however she has since fully recovered and is now capable of providing for the children.â Her lawyer pauses, casting a glance at Sukuna, who keeps his eyes straight ahead in an effort not to break. âWe acknowledge the important role Mr. Sukuna has played in their lives as their half-brother, however his actions have demonstrated that he is still young and not fit to take care of two children at this time.â
Judge Martinez nods in acknowledgement to the opposing party, motioning to Ms. Harte on Sukunaâs side. âI would like to hear from the counsel for the respondent.â
Sukunaâs lawyer stands, and youâre grateful for her confidence, because youâre struggling to share it. At least Sukuna is keeping up his confidence. Ms. Harte introduces herself in the same manner as Mr. Cahn, before beginning her statement.
âYour Honor, my client, Mr. Ryomen Sukuna, is the older half-brother of Yuji Itadori and Choso Itadori and they have been in his legal care for the past three and a half years. Mr. Sukuna has raised them since Mr. Itadori fell ill and you will find that he has successfully provided stability, a safe home, and a positive environment for them over the years. While we acknowledge Ms. Itadoriâs blood-relation to the children, they have shown an overall preference for their older brother, and I would like to ask that you consider what is in their best interest for this case.â
The judge nods upon hearing both opening statements. He scans the legal paperwork beneath his hands before rattling off a series of legal rules to the room. He goes over the procedures for the hearing, making a point that he would not like either party interrupting, and that he will direct the conversation. He explains that he will begin with the applicant, to have the respondent act as such- a responder.
After ensuring his instructions are clear, he allows the bailiff to call the first witness to the stand, Kaori herself. Sukuna had inquired about having you be a witness, but his attorney advised against it as your relationship with one another wasnât set in stone or easy to describe and could serve as a detriment against an opposition like Kaori. As such, both parties had disclosed that their only witnesses would be the two guardians themselves.
Thereâs no witness stand for Kaori to move to in the small family courtroom, so she simply gets to her feet. Politely clasping her hands, she takes a vow to tell the truth, swearing herself in, and bows to the judge.
With Kaori now prepared to answer questions, her lawyer rounds the table to stand closer to the judge as he presents himself to the grander room. âMs. Itadori, please explain the reasoning behind your inability to take guardianship of your children upon your husbandâs passing.â
With a nod, Kaori smiles politely. âWhen my husband passed away, I had recently taken a job overseas to help provide for our family. It was a difficult decision to leave, however I felt it was for the best to prepare for our future. I was made aware that my husband was sick after my departure and we spoke daily, however I didnât receive any notice that he had passed away for quite some time. I tried to reach out, but never heard back.â
Sukunaâs nails dig into his palms beneath the table at the blatant lie, but he does everything he can to keep his expression neutral. At the end of the day itâs her word against his, he canât afford to tarnish the judgeâs view of him.
âI had booked a flight back when I didnât hear back after a couple of days, but I became quite ill out of nowhere. Um-â She pauses, her mask of confidence slipping for just a moment as she glances down at the table before her. âHere are my medical records and the flight ticket receipts.â
Her lawyer takes the documents, presenting them to the judge, who lays the paperwork out before him. He scans them briefly, motioning with his hand. âPlease continue.â
âThank you, Your Honor. I only recovered late last year, otherwise I would have started this process much earlier. I love my children and I regret missing such a large portion of their lives.â
Mr. Cahn nods in approval at her testimony. âPlease testify to the statement made that Mr. Sukuna is unfit for guardianship.â
Kaori nods, clearing her throat. âOf course. My step-son didnât reach out when my husband passed away, and I was distraught to find that he had taken custody of my own children after learning of my husbandâs passing. I helped raise Mr. Sukuna since he was nine years old, but he always caused problems. I have school records as evidence of his poor grades and misdemeanors.â
Her lawyer passes the documents along to the judge as she continues
âAnd hereâs a photo Ryomen took with my son Choso which shows him trespassing in a train yard committing property damage. Not only is this inappropriate behaviour, but my son is very impressionable and this unacceptable.â She clasps her hands in front of herself, keeping up her responsible and caring appearance. âHow is Mr. Sukuna meant to be trusted as a guardian, when he has demonstrated his poor abilities to care for my children as a babysitter?â
Sukunaâs mask of neutrality begins to break as heâs just about ready to pull his own hair out. A fucking selfie from when he was sixteen. Come the fuck on. Although heâs already seen all of her evidence, itâs hard not to be irritated with the woman when sheâd held onto his records all these years later. Heâs certain she did it for no other reason than to hold them over his head if she ever needed to.
âIâm aware these are older, however I donât believe his behavior has changed. Before serving him with this case, I was going to talk to him about discussing this in a more civil manner, however I didnât feel safe leaving my kids with him when I found him smoking outside of his apartment with someone while my kids were alone upstairs.â
Sukuna shuffles in his seat, but he canât recall whatever Kaori is talking about. Itâs not like he would have left them for long, he was right outside. If he were to guess, he was likely with Uraume if he was smoking with someone and it was before the lawsuit. It probably wasnât you.
Kaori glances back down over the evidence on the table in front of her. âI would also like to bring attention to Mr. Sukunaâs employment. His lawyer provided us with his records, and he was working two jobs, while also attending college. This is irresponsible for my childrenâs well-being and wouldnât allow him any time to be home with them. He would need to leave them in the care of other people, or even alone, rather than being with them himself.â
The worst part about this trial for Sukuna as heâs forced to sit in silence, is not being able to scream from the top of his lungs that at least he was there at all. Kaori can claim she was sick all she would like and Sukuna canât refute that, but he sees through it.
âFor those reasons, I would like to suggest that full custody is returned to me, as their mother. My husband and I have prepared rooms for both boys and we have the money and time to provide for them.â
Sukunaâs head whips towards Kaori, scanning her left hand. Sure enough, a rock as extravagant as the necklace sheâs flaunting sits around her ring finger. Husband? Since when? That hadnât been in any of the documents that had been provided to Sukuna and Ms. Harte. How had she had the time to get married if she was supposedly so sick?
He swallows hard, staring at the table in front of him. Surely the judge can see the holes in her logic just as Sukuna can.
Does she really just hate Sukuna that much that she canât bear the thought of having a conversation with him to solve this?
Thatâs a useless thought, though. After everything thatâs happened with her, Sukuna wouldnât have handed over custody. Itâs not what his brothers want, and he can see now more than ever that this isnât in their best interest. Heâs been trying to convince himself for months now that heâs a good guardian, but for the first time itâs glaringly obvious. Kaori is lying through her teeth, even after taking an oath, but Sukuna canât refute any of her lies, he has no proof of anything.
Every word from Kaori is coldly calculated to take Sukuna down and his gut twists with each lie she tells.
He canât figure out for the life of him what her angle is, either. What does she want them for? She clearly didnât want them to begin with, so what the hell changed?
And worse still are Sukunaâs fears that Kaori is somehow manipulating the outcome of the trial. He needs to put his faith in the system, but itâs not easy when he has to watch her lie so outlandishly with such confidence, only to receive a nod from the judge.
Before her lawyer can speak, Kaori chimes in one last time, tilting her head towards Sukuna as she feigns motherly love for her step-son. âI appreciate everything Mr. Sukuna has done for my children, however heâs young, he has no support, and he has no experience raising children. Mr. Sukuna has always struggled with his emotions, as documented by his school records, and I donât believe he can provide the emotional support my children require, particularly Choso.â
Emotional support. There it is. It always comes back to that, doesnât it? Like she knows just how to hit him where it hurts.
The weight on Sukunaâs chest bears down harder on him as she points out his shortcomings. He knows. He knows. Fuck, he knows. But itâs still better than what she can offer. It takes every ounce of Sukunaâs concentration to keep reminding himself of that. He wonât deny that heâs young and inexperienced in raising children. He wonât deny that he was horribly ill-prepared at first.
But he was there. He wasnât perfect, he still isnât. But he was there and that has to count for something.
âMs. Itadori, can you comment on the urgency of this case?â Mr. Cahn pushes.
âAbsolutely. We pushed for a rush of the house study due to my concerns for my oldest sonâs mental well-being which that study confirmed, however upon being on the receiving end of my step-sonâs behavioral issues last week during and following the case conference, I felt that it was important to place an urgent rush on this trial.â She grimaces as though this is some sort of grave and unfortunate ordeal for her.
Her lawyer nods in approval once again, all lines from both people in their party clearly rehearsed to a T. âThat is all, Your Honor.â
The judge motions to Ms. Harte accordingly. âThank you, Ms. Itadori. I would like to invite the respondentâs attorney to cross-examine the witness.â
Ms. Harte stands, confidently rounding the tables. Her heels click across the hardwood floor as she finds a place before Kaori. âMs. Itadori,â she begins, âyou claim that my client did not reach out upon your husbandâs death, can you comment on the records that I provided your party detailing his efforts to reach out?â
âMay I see these records?â The judge chimes in.
âOf course, Your Honor,â Ms. Harte agrees, handing over the paperwork.
âI do see here that Ryomen reached out, however none of my contact information here is right. I had moved recently and swapped to company-owned devices when I received a promotion at my job,â Kaori confidently explains. Her drawl carries an air of arrogance, as though nothing could possibly break her air-tight testimony.
âHow could that be? Why would your step-son not have your proper contact information?â
âAs I mentioned previously, Ryomen has a record of delinquency and I didnât feel it was appropriate to step in and police how my husband chose to parent him,â she explains with ease. âWe communicated very rarely after I left, and I didnât have his number on-hand to reach out when Jin wasnât replying.â
Sukunaâs lawyer pushes further. âCan you still say that you helped to raise Mr. Sukuna and know him well if you werenât willing to step in as a parent?â
Kaori nods. âI did everything I could to appeal to Ryomen. I was there for every holiday, I took him to his driverâs test, and would take him shopping. My husband and I decided it was for the best that I tried to only create good memories with him since he wasnât fond of me for a while. I believe for a while, he saw me as a threat to the attention he received from his father.â
Ms. Harte doesnât so much as stutter as she continues to question Kaori. âIf you werenât willing to step in with Mr. Sukuna, why should the court believe youâll do so with Choso and Yuji Itadori?â
âThose are my children. Iâm comfortable parenting them how I believe is best, and I know their needs well.â she attests, her form straightening. âMy children need their mother.â
Ms. Harte shakes her head. âCan you say that you know their needs well when the house study details not only that neither child remembers you, but also that their preference is for my clientâs guardianship?â
The judge flips through the documents submitted to the court laid out in front of him, nodding in acknowledgement once heâs skimmed the childrenâs statements.
Yet Kaori always seems prepared. âI acknowledge that they were both young when I took a position overseas, and I have reason to believe that the preference towards Ryomen that they have stated is purely for that reason. Given the opportunity, I know they would thrive in my care,â she states confidently. âTheyâve only chosen Mr. Sukuna as they donât know what it means to be outside of his care.â
Sukunaâs lawyer mentally resets as Kaori rebounds easily. Addressing the room as a whole as she continues. âIn addition, I would like to request that the documents provided by the applying party regarding my clientâs educational misdemeanors be disregarded, as nothing is dated within the last four years.â
The judge regards Sukuna quietly for a moment before nodding. âSustained.â
Ms. Harte bows politely. âThank you, Your Honor. Additionally, I would like to ask that claims of Mr. Sukuna being seen outside of his apartment are disregarded as hearsay, as my client does not recall this.â
âObjection, Your Honor!â Kaoriâs lawyer speaks up, taking a stand. âI would like to ask that the court considers that a guardianship case is primarily hearsay, especially in circumstances where the children are too young to testify. Would Mr. Sukunaâs claim that he doesnât recall this moment not be equally considered hearsay?â
The judge takes a moment to consider this, before clasping his hands together. âI agree. Your request is overruled,â he addresses Ms. Harte. Sukuna rolls his shoulders in his seat, crossing his arms to mask his irritation.
Itâs not like there havenât been small wins and pushes in Sukunaâs favor, but the cards seem to fall ever in Kaoriâs favor, no matter how hard Ms. Harte and Sukuna fight.
âVery well, Your Honor,â Ms. Harte relents, clearly frustrated by this outcome. âIn any case, I would like to ask that Ms. Itadori provides further information on this claim.â
âOf course,â Kaori smiles easily. âI arrived from overseas on September 4th, and went to visit my step-son on the sixth in the evening, which is when I witnessed him smoking with someone.â
âDo you have any evidence the children were home at the time?â Ms. Harte queries.
Kaori hesitates for a moment, the first crack in her confidence that sends a wave of relief through both you and Sukuna. âNo, but I have no reason to believe they were somewhere else either.â
Ms. Harte nods, moving along. âYou mentioned that you and your husband will be able to provide for the children. If you were unable to reach your phone due to illness, when did you have time to be married after your husband Jinâs passing while ill?â
Kaori cracks once more, hesitation crossing her features for the briefest of moments. âWe met prior to Jinâs passing, and he supported me through my grief and sickness. Our ceremony was days before I returned to see my children in September and our honeymoon has yet to happen. Everything has happened very quickly,â she explains.
Sukuna sits upright in his seat, blinking at the realization that while she may not have admitted it, thereâs no fucking way she didnât cheat on Jin. Again. Sukuna grits his teeth hard, the pressure in his jaw tightening until heâs physically holding back a snarl. Sukuna can live with the ways she wronged him, but to smite Jin in his final days? He wants nothing more than to put her in her place.
But all he can do is sit in silence while Ms. Harte moves along, Kaoriâs response is too sound to question further. âMs. Itadori, you claim that Mr. Sukunaâs work schedule wouldnât give him much time to be with the kids, however as outlined in the documents provided to your lawyer, you can see that Sukuna has recently taken a new position to allow himself more time with them.â
Kaori shoots a glance at the paperwork in front of her, nodding. âI see that, however his resume doesnât give me confidence that heâs able to keep that job. He doesnât seem to hold onto anything for much longer than a year, and that same document says that he recently dropped out of college.â
Unperturbed, Sukunaâs lawyer presses. âHe put the children first over his own desires. Does that not show a dedication to these kids?â
Kaori considers this for a moment, casting a glance at her lawyer, though he nods confidently as though theyâve gone over the possibility of this coming up. You wonder if sheâs even speaking in her own words, or if everything is a premeditated response, practiced. âIt does, however Iâm concerned for his ability to provide for my sons if heâs unable to hold a job or schooling. By dropping out, heâs also limited his career options,â she points out. âHe doesnât seem to have the qualifications for his current position, either.â
Sukuna stiffens at the mention of college, his leg inadvertently bouncing again under the table. Heâs not sure if it ever stopped shaking, really, or if heâs just now noticing it again.
âThere are more ways than just school to climb within the workforce nowadays, Ms. Itadori. Additionally, my client has proven more than capable of providing for the children financially by any means necessary. Heâs shown his willingness and dedication to them through his actions,and has never once been unable to pay rent, keep food on the table. I do hope that the court will consider that money isnât everything.â She turns to face the judge, politely bowing. âThat is all, Your Honor.â
Ms. Harte returns to her seat beside Sukuna, where heâs waiting with white knuckles as he braces himself on the arms of his chair, preparing to testify.
The bailiff thanks Kaori, willing her to sit. She then turns her attention to Sukuna, giving him the opportunity to testify as well.
Sukuna turns to his lawyer briefly for assurance, before he pushes to his feet. Rolling his shoulders and smoothing down his suit, he takes the same oath of truthfulness as Kaori. He prays that neither the judge, nor the opposing party can hear the shaky breath he takes before Ms. Harte pushes him to begin his statement.
âYour Honor, Ms Harte,â Sukuna addresses the judge and his lawyer as he begins, hesitantly shifting from foot to foot as he stares down at his hands. Clearing his throat, his chest remains tight, his voice low as he speaks. âI- uh- Iâve been taking care of my brothers since my dad died. I got us an apartment, started workinâ and have letters from my employers to show my work ethic,â he pauses to hand these to his lawyer, âand I found a babysitter my brothers like.â
Sukunaâs gaze shifts up to the judge as the letters are passed along, straightening as he feels the scrutinizing glares of his step-mother and her lawyer in his peripherals. His own voice sounds unfamiliar to him as he tries to match the formal tone of the courtroom.
âI taught myself how to cook their favorite foods, I read to âem,â he wracks his brain for more details. âLearned how to change diapers, and I make sure they stay in school.â He sighs quietly as he scowls down at the table before him in thought. Every hardship and distant memory of the difficulty of teaching oneself to take care of children seems to weigh him down as he recounts each and every way he taught himself to step up.
He may have been forced into this life, but in every lifetime heâd do it over again if it means his brothers are happy.
Steeling himself, he fixes the judge with a determined gaze. âI stepped up. I did what I had to when I couldnât reach their mom, and Iâm still here. My little brothers are happy, they got food on the table, a roof over their heads, nâ theyâre in school with friends. Iâll do anything for my brothers, and Iâve always been there for them, even when their mother wasnât, no matter how much that affected them.â Sukuna finishes his statement, making a point of dragging down Kaori without being disrespectful in an effort to make a point about Kaoriâs disingenuity.
Turning his expectant stare towards Kaori and her lawyer, he keeps his head up and gaze certain. The minute shake in his hands is well-hidden by the determination that keeps him looking at ease.
There was a time where his confidence wouldnât be so thinly veiled. Shit, if he was testifying on any other subject, heâs sure he would be the picture of confidence itself, unperturbed by the goings on around him. Itâs dejecting to know that heâs been reduced to a shadow of his former self by the very same woman who Sukuna knows openly rejected her own childrenâs calls.
The woman who wouldnât step up and be a mother to him is now the woman tearing him down through legal means rather than having a conversation.
Sheâs selfish.
Sheâs a coward and an asshole and it pisses Sukuna off to no end to know what heâs become because of her. He hardly recognizes himself.
Itâs strange. The person he sees in the reflection of the judgeâs glasses doesnât feel like him. Heâs accustomed to the dark circles and pale reflection he sees, but the anxiety and doubt that cloud his vision taints his perspective of himself.
Sukuna is confident. Heâs sure of himself. Heâs brash, bold, and egotistical. Heâs a hothead and a bit too quick on the draw to jump to conclusions. Heâs smart, cunning, and hard-working, but under all those layers is a man who cares very much about those dear to him.
But the man who stares back at him is scared. In fact, he canât see any of the qualities that seem to make him Sukuna aside from a set of tattoos that his father sighed at when he saw them.
He considers for a moment your presence behind him as well, and the version of himself heâs trying to be. He strives to be better. For you, for his brothers, and even for himself.
But the real difference between his step-mother and you is that you still want the version of Sukuna you saw before his step-mother tore him to shreds. You still want his confidence, his boldness, even his ego. You like his sharp-tongue and cunning remarks, and youâre willing to work through his emotions with him when he gets a little bit too impetuous for his own good. Youâre even willing to help him through the unfamiliar territory that amounts to what heâs become after Kaoriâs meddling.
You only ever ask him to treat you with the respect you give him. You want him to be himself, while being conscious of others.
Ms. Harte nods, shooting Sukuna a kind smile of reassurance before falling easily back into her role. âThank you, Mr. Sukuna. Can you provide further information on how you reached out to Ms. Itadori upon your fatherâs passing?â
Sukuna swallows the lump in his throat at the mention of a time he still can hardly bear to think about without guilt, shame, and grief washing over him. âYeah. Got her number from Jinâs phone and tried his and my phone to call her, I had lawyers calling and writing, we sent letters from Choso and I, and emails to any contacts I could find.â
âDid your lawyers attempt any other method of contact?â
Sukuna nods. âYeah, they pulled a-â he pauses, brow furrowing in thought. âA land title, I think, to try to find her new address, but nothing came up.â
Ms. Harte nods. âThank you. Can you confirm you had no knowledge of Ms. Itadoriâs illness prior to this case?â
âI didnât,â Sukuna gruffs in confirmation, shooting a glare at Kaori as he still doesnât believe her for a second.
âCan you attest to your connection with the children?â
Sukuna nods slowly. âChoso nâ I have been through a lot and Iâll always be there for him. I taught him how to cook and he wants to be a chef when he grows up, he even wants to take classes when heâs older,â Sukuna explains, inhaling sharply. âIâve been there for all of Yujiâs firsts. First words, first steps, that was all me. Heâs like my own kid nâ I know how to raise him and what he needs just fine.â
âThank you, Mr. Sukuna. Can you speak to your work ethic, please?â
âMhm,â he hums, taking a moment to mentally reset. âI worked two jobs âtil I was able to find one that pays well enough for less hours. I did what needed to be done while I got my footing and now Iâm stable and spend almost every night with my brothers.â
âDo you believe that having a babysitter affected your ability to care for your brothers?â Ms. Harte queries.
Sukunaâs thankful for this portion of the questioning, as this is all rehearsed. âNo. They like their babysitter a lot and I still spend all my free time with âem.â
Whether heâs talking about you or the kind woman across the hall you canât be entirely certain, but you get the feeling itâs you. Even in the midst of the stressful trial, you find a minute smile pulling at the corners of your lips at the thought.
âCan you speak to the matter documented in the case conference last week in which Ms. Itadori states that you lashed out?â
Sukuna shuts his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath to keep himself composed. âItâs been an emotional time, I donât want to lose the kids.â
âThank you, Mr. Sukuna. No further questions,â Ms. Harte nods, bowing to the judge as she takes a seat. With Mr. Cahn taking her place, Sukuna feels a chill run up his spine at his hardened disposition.
âMr. Sukuna, would you not agree that itâs important for the kids to have a motherly figure in their life?â
Sukunaâs jaw tightens. âThey have lots of good influences in their life other than their mother.â
âDo you believe youâre one of them?â
Sukunaâs eyes narrow slightly as he blows a breath out through his nose. If he werenât in a courtroom, heâd have choice words for the man in the navy suit. âI do.â
Mr. Cahn presses harder, sensing Sukunaâs mounting frustration. âWould you not consider your nicotine addiction to be a detriment to the childrenâs health and your ability to uphold a positive influence in their lives?â
It takes everything in him to keep his tone neutral as he replies. âI donât smoke around the kids.â
Unfortunately, Sukuna doesnât realize the angle that he gives the man across from him. âSo you admit that what Ms. Itadori saw when she intended to visit her children could be a possibility?â
Sukunaâs brow furrows, casting a glance at his lawyer who shoots him a signal to simply tell the truth, whatever he believes that to be. âI usually smoke on the balcony. I donât like leaving my brothers alone,â he decides after a moment, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Kaoriâs lawyer examines his expression as though reading him like a book, moving along. âYou claim that you had to teach yourself to cook for them and learn their preferences, were you aware of the needs of children when you became their guardian?â
Sukuna shifts. His patience for this man is on thin ice. As is, he hates that heâs sharing his life with a group of strangers, his step-mother included, but to be grilled over his decisions and abilities is downright insulting. He may be a shadow of his former self, but heâs competent and he wonât let Kaori take that away from him.
âI looked after Choso when my dad was still around, so I knew a bit. I had some growing to do when I took over, but I figured sh- things out,â he replies, crossing his bulky arms over his chest.
âBut wouldnât you agree that their mother is better suited for the position of their guardian? Her ability to care for them is borne into her instincts as a mother.â
âNo,â Sukuna replies immediately, his lip curling as he snarls his response. Momentarily forgetting to hold his tongue, he barks angrily, âmaybe if she ever reached out or tried to be a mother to them Iâd change my mind, but she was gone for four years without a word.â
âMr. Sukuna,â the bailiff warns in an authoritative voice.
Sukuna shoots the bailiff a sharp glare, physically biting his tongue to prevent himself from speaking out.
âMr. Sukuna, Iâd like to remind you of my clientâs illness. She was bedridden for a majority of the years you speak of, unable to even sit up, let alone use a phone. On top of that, she spoke to her husband and Choso weekly at a minimum before Mr. Itadori passed. She attempted to call his phone, but you never picked up.â
Sukuna mutters an inaudible âwhateverâ under his breath, fixing the lawyer with his harsh stare. Of course he didnât pick up the unknown numbers calling his dadâs phone while he was grieving. That was the last thing he needed.
Chewing on your lip, you pray Sukuna can keep his frustrations under control. Given Kaoriâs urgency to push the trial forward and her statements against his attitude, you can only guess heâs hurting his argument.
âMoving along, how do you balance your full-time position with taking care of the children?â
âI work while theyâre in school,â he answers easily.
âAnd do you make enough to support them with that position alone?â
Sukuna nods slowly, lacking total conviction. âI pick up the occasional shift at an autoshop if I need to, but itâs enough.â
âAnd would you not agree that this allows you less time to ensure that the children are taken care of and that their needs are met?â
âTheir needs,â Sukuna barely keeps his tone neutral, his teeth grit. âAre met. They have a good babysitter who they love. Theyâre happy.â
Ms. Harte casts a glance up at him, her expression unreadable. The judge may keep a straight face through the conversation, however you can practically see the way heâs passing silent discernment over the burly man each time he struggles to keep himself in check.
âMr. Sukuna, a house study took place last week, correct?â
âYeah.â
âDetailed in the documents provided to the court,â he gestures towards the broader room, âit mentions that Choso Itadori is not only quiet, but seems as though heâs struggling emotionally. Have you been unable to meet his emotional needs?â
Sukuna swallows hard.
Time after time after time, it always seems to come back to the ways in which Sukuna has failed Choso. As though his own guilt isnât enough, even those around him seem desperate to choke his failures out of him.
How the fuck is he meant to answer? âNo, I havenât been able toâ? What good will that do him? How the hell is he intended to deflect the question without lying, the one thing his lawyer drilled into his head over the past couple of months?
Sukuna purses his lips, searching desperately for anything to appease a court. Heâd been specifically advised against mentioning you due to your complicated relationship, could he take credit for the ways youâd gotten his little brother to come out of his shell?
Unfortunately for him, Kaoriâs lawyer is a vulture waiting to strike. He takes Sukunaâs drawn out silence as his opportunity to address the judge. âMr. Sukuna does not possess the emotional maturity to provide for such young children. I would like to advise the court to consider Choso Itadoriâs mental well-being and struggles when making decisions on their guardianship,â he advises without so much as a stutter.
Kaoriâs lawyer takes a pause, staring down Sukuna as the older man feels heâs beginning to wear through Sukunaâs shell.
Clearing his throat, he addresses the judge once more. âWhile I recognize that Chosoâs statement reads that heâs particularly fond of Sukunaâs care, I also want to point out that heâs young and impressionable. He has no frame of reference for any other care and itâs important to take into account the fact that heâs suffering under his current care.â
If he hadnât already been shushed by the bailiff, Sukuna would have burst. He would have thrown down every way that Kaori failed not only his brothers in the past four years, but all the ways sheâd failed him growing up.
He wants to lash out, scream about the school events he only attended to make his dad proud, only for neither of them to show up because she was too busy getting her nails done and forcing Jin to wait. He want to lay out the way she forgot about him at Tojiâs place, instead opting to take Choso to a movie, or the way she chose not to attend his high school graduation in favor of a girlsâ day with her friends.
It was one of the very last events his father ever got to attend before Sukuna became little more than his fatherâs personal ambulance as the brutish kid was forced to watch his father deteriorate- alone. Whatever energy Jin could muster was used up on taking care of Choso and Yuji in order to alleviate Sukuna of the duty.
If only Jin could see what had become of his family now.
Sukuna seethes with rage at the thought.
All these years and heâs never once thought to try to get his fatherâs phone records, bills, anything to prove that Jin wasnât consistently speaking with Kaori. Heâd never considered needing to keep receipts or records that would prove that the woman sitting on the opposite end of the courtroom from him isnât what she claims.
But now every last detail of their lives is nothing more than hearsay. His word against hers.
Itâs the word of an exhausted and scared older brother, against the formal documentation of an overly confident mother and her disgustingly expensive lawyer.
His hands ball into fists at his side as he flashes a snarl at the opposing lawyer. âIâm perfectly capable of providing for them. Including mentally,â he retorts, strained as he finally finds some form of footing.
âYour Honor, I would like to call an additional witness to the stand,â Kaoriâs lawyer speaks up as though taking Sukunaâs words as an invitation to speak.
âObjection, Your Honor!â Ms. Harte roars as both her and Sukuna tense. âThere were no additional witnesses previously disclosed to my client, we havenât had the opportunity to prepare.â
Judge Martinez adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose. âCan the counsel for the applying party provide some insight on why this witness was not previously disclosed to the respondent?â
âYour Honor, we were only made aware of concerns of Choso Itadoriâs mental health upon receiving the house study, which we received yesterday morning. Upon review, we felt it was necessary to contact Chosoâs school for further analysis of his mental health. We only received word back last night that his teacher would be able to testify.â
You can only sit and watch, your mouth agape in horror, as the judge replies. âObjection overruled. Given the short notice, I understand that there was no time to disclose the witness, so I will allow them to testify. I will allow a small break after the testimony to give the respondent time to prepare for the cross-examination.â
Sukunaâs rage may as well manifest in the form of smoke blowing out of his ears with how furious he clearly is. He takes a seat with a drawn out, frustrated sigh as he begrudgingly holds his tongue.
You want to cry out that this is Kaoriâs fault to begin with, that Choso wasnât always like this. You want to shake her by her shirt collar that probably costs more than your entire car and blame her for everything thatâs happened to this poor family, but one word from you will surely have you thrown out of the room. The most you can do is shoot Sukuna a reassuring look when he casts a fearful glance at you.
Whether it eases him or not, you canât tell.
The court is hushed, murmurs between each lawyer and their clients are the only thing that can be heard as the bailiff retrieves the newest witness. You recognize Chosoâs teacher, who likely has no real idea whatâs going on, and thinks this is whatâs best for the little boy, as she makes her way to the side of the opposing partyâs table. Her brown hair is done up in curls, her long skirt pleated from where she sat as she awaited her part in the trial.
The bailiff has her introduce herself as Ms. Donovan, Chosoâs teacher of several years due to the shifts in the school system, and she takes an oath to tell the truth, before sheâs allowed to give her testimony. Mr. Cahn pushes for her to give a broad statement.
She doesnât seem entirely comfortable in the courtroom setting as she begins. âChoso Itadori has been a part of my class for the past few years, and I currently teach him with a class of twenty three other students. Iâve known him for about five years, and heâs been an absolute pleasure. Heâs bright, and he seems to enjoy learning.â
Your heart warms as she praises him, however you dread the âbutâ that you know comes next.
âHowever, Iâm concerned for his well-being. He got really quiet out of the blue about four years ago, though Iâm aware thatâs when his father passed away. He came out of his shell bit by bit and began to excel in science and math, and made some good friends, but a couple of months ago, it happened again.â
She adjusts her blouse, sending a sympathetic glance at Sukuna, though he only feels betrayed. Of course, she doesnât know the mess sheâs entered into, but what the hell is he meant to do in response to this? He can only pray his lawyer is as good as Hiromi had mentioned.
No, he knows sheâs good. He really needs to pray that the judge didnât have his mind made up from the beginning. While real trials differ greatly from the scenes heâs accustomed to on television, one thing stands the same between both.
The system is flawed and favors the rich. It favors those with power, and if Sukunaâs being honest, he doesnât know a damn thing about the capacity of Kaoriâs wealth. She always brought money to the relationship with Jin that she worked for, but everything seems different now, and she covered her tracks well. Sukuna hadnât been able to track down any information on her online despite the status she clearly has.
âI donât think Iâve heard Choso say a word in the past couple of months,â Ms. Donovan continues. He doesnât seem to pay attention anymore and his grades are slipping. I know heâs young and he has time, but Iâm more concerned for his mental health. On top of that, his attendance was perfect until recently. There have been a couple of weeks this year where he hasnât shown up at all,â she adds with a frown.
Fuck. That was meant to be a positive break for the kids, and now itâs ammunition against Sukunaâs own case.
âLastly, Mr. Sukuna has been late to pick them up on multiple occasions. Heâs usually only a few minutes late at most, however there was an occasion where he didnât show up at all.â
âThank you for addressing your concerns, Ms. Donovan. No further questions.â Kaoriâs lawyer takes a seat with an overly pleased look on his face.
The judge leans back in his seat as he addresses the court room. âIâll allow twenty minutes for discussion and break, before we resume.â
Ms. Harte sighs, running her hands over her face as she faces Sukuna. You canât hear her words from the viewing area, though you can feel her exasperation.
âThat certainly puts a wrench in our argument,â she sighs, tapping the table. âBut we still have an angle. Chosoâs behavior changed when he became aware of the lawsuit, correct?â
Sukuna, desperate for a break, a cigarette, anything, grunts. âYeah.â
âRight. We use that, and advise that Kaoriâs interference in the childrensâ lives is whatâs negatively affecting his health,â she nods, remaining confident. Though Sukuna doesnât share the same confidence as his mood shifts and fear dwells in the corner of his mind, he agrees with a small nod, putting his faith in her.
You can only shuffle uncomfortably in your seat as Sukuna and Ms. Harte prepare for the cross-examination. Their murmurs are the only sounds filling the silence that clings to your lungs like water, drowning you in uncertainty.
Casting a glance at Kaori, you canât help but notice the way she confidently crosses her arms over her chest as she discusses details with her own lawyer with a goddamn smile. You wonder if the judge sees through her innocent and sweet grins just as you do, but you fear that hope is misplaced.
Just as youâre sure Ms. Harte and Sukuna suspect something, you canât help but wonder if thereâs manipulation of sorts going on behind the scenes. Everything feels skewed and even if the balance of the court is only off-kilter by a couple of degrees, itâs enough to catch your attention. But what can you do? Thereâs no way to prove your theory.
While you can understand the judgeâs decision to allow an additional witness, something about the whole situation seems to play into the idea that something is wrong and the system is failing before your very eyes.
Whatâs Kaoriâs angle here, anyway? You can understand being sick, but the details donât add up given what you know about her. But thatâs just it, she has an excuse for everything. Itâs as though this is nothing more than a routine. Hell, even Ms. Donovan speaks with a practiced air of confidence that makes you wonder if her speech was equally as fake as Kaoriâs. Her argument is painfully air-tight.
Is that all this is to Kaori, a game? Are her own children pawns in some scheme you canât put your finger on? If her love for them is as fake as her love for Sukuna clearly is, then what does she gain out of this?
You can only hope to never be sure as the court returns and the bailiff announces that the hearing is back in session, allowing Sukunaâs counsel to begin the cross-examination.
âMs. Donovan, good morning,â Ms. Harte stands, greeting the young woman. She returns the lawyerâs greeting with a genuinely sweet smile. âCan you confirm when Choso Itadoriâs behaviour took a turn for the worst again?â
Chewing on her lip, the teacher takes a moment to consider the question. âIt was early in January. The first week, I believe.â
âThank you. Can you confirm that the change in his behaviour has been similar to how it was around four years ago?â
The teacher nods. âThatâs right.â
âYour Honor, Choso Itadoriâs mental health has taken a turn at two pivotal moments in his life. The first is when his father passed away, which coincides with a time where the child thought his mother had chosen not to return. Much like my client, he had no way of knowing his mother was ill,â she points out, pacing somewhat closer to Sukuna. âThe first week of January is when Mr. Sukuna informed the children of this trial. He is raising them to be mature and responsible and did not believe that keeping information from them was wise. Theyâre smart children,â Ms. Harte points out.
Sukuna breathes out a sigh of relief at how strong of an argument his lawyer makes in his favor.
âI would like to advise the court to take into consideration how a revelation of that gravity would affect a child. Each time that my client chose to keep the children back from school was in order to preserve their mental health. While school is important and Mr. Sukuna is well-aware of this himself, he puts an emphasis on taking breaks when necessary and teaching the children to manage their mental health.â
Turning to face the judge, Ms. Harte stands confidently in the center of the room.
âMs. Itadori herself is responsible for Chosoâs declining mental health, whether it was her intention or not,â she claims, leaving the possibility open-ended so as not to make accusations she canât back up. âMr. Sukuna has proven he is capable of nurturing Chosoâs mental well-being, as detailed by Ms. Donovan. She confirmed that the childâs attitude improved over the months following his fatherâs passing, a time when only Sukuna was present in their lives. My client cares a great deal about the children and would not allow their health to deteriorate without taking the appropriate steps to care for them.â She bows. âNo further questions.â
Judge Martinez directs his attention to the applicant party. âDoes the counsel have any further questions?â
âYes, Your Honor.â Mr. Cahn adjusts his tie as he pushes to his feet. âMs. Donovan, does the school offer the children any tools to manage their mental health?â
The teacher nods slowly. âWe offer a limited range of programs to assist, but Choso hasnât been receptive to anything.â
âCan you confirm whether the faculty has made any suggestions to Sukuna in order to manage Chosoâs mental health?â Mr. Cahn pushes.
With a hum of thought, she clasps her hands as she replies. âWhen Chosoâs grades began slipping, we suggested it may be worth having him evaluated by a mental health professional. Iâm not sure if that happened.â
Sukuna stares at his hand as his grip on the arm of his seat tightens. Heâd forgotten about that. She had mentioned it, but the thought had burrowed itself into the deep recesses of his mind and quite simply disappeared. Heâd had so much on his mind, heâd figured he had time.
Constricting around his lungs, his guilt slices and claws into him once more, dragging the breath from his lungs.
âThank you. Has Mr. Sukuna ever mentioned his reason for being late on multiple occasions?â
Ms. Donovan shakes her head, shrugging. âI donât recall, sorry.â
âNot a problem,â Mr. Cahn moves along. âHave you witnessed Mr. Sukuna smoking around the children?â
âOn occasion,â she replies without hesitation. âNever on school property, but usually right before class ends.â Sukuna grits his teeth. What bullshit that twenty minutes prior to class ending supposedly counts as smoking around his brothers.
âThank you,â Kaoriâs lawyer nods his head calmly. âOne final question.â
âDo you have any reason to believe that Mr. Sukuna could be a negative influence on Choso Itadori?â
Ms. Donovan casts a glance at Sukuna. She seems to consider the question seriously. âI donât think heâs a driving negative force in Chosoâs life,â she replies. Sukuna breathes out a sigh of relief a moment too soon as the teacher continues, âhowever, I think Choso would benefit greatly from more guided care. In the six years that Iâve been teaching, Iâve never seen a child as withdrawn as heâs become, and he shows no signs of improving.â
âCan you describe his behavior?â
Fiddling with her skirt, Ms. Donovan nods. âOf course. Choso seems to look right through everyone, and often when I think heâs paying attention, itâs not until I address him that he seems to tune in to what Iâm saying.â She swallows, shaking her head as she continues. âHe turns in homework without issue, but any in-class work goes unfinished. His tests donât have any rhyme or reason behind what he writes or what options he chooses in multiple choice and he doesnât show his work, either. I donât think heâs reading the tests at all.â
Sukunaâs brow furrows as his shortcomings are laid bare for him. He knew Chosoâs grades were slipping, but the homework heâd been doing seemed fine whenever Sukuna looked it over. Sure, Ms. Donovan had advised him that sheâd like to meet, but heâd pushed her worries away given the gravity of the upcoming trial. Heâd been under the impression that he would win, and everything would be fixed.
Itâs not that he didnât heed the teacherâs warning that Choso needed help, but he thought he understood what was going on with his little brother. He wasnât aware just how deep the roots extended into the little boyâs life.
Failure after failure after failure.
How many times would he need to fail Choso before he learned his lesson?
Heâs always known school is important, thereâs a reason it took Sukuna so long to give up on college, but he didnât realize just how much Chosoâs behavior in school painted a picture of how Sukuna is as a parent.
The room feels claustrophobic as Sukuna continues to listen to the witness.
âAt recess, heâs completely closed himself off from the other students. He eats alone in the classroom and wonât respond to me if I try to engage with him in conversation. Heâs always been quiet, but he had a good group of friends. Theyâve all expressed their worries to me, as well.â
He stopped talking to his friends? Shit, why is Sukuna even surprised? The kid stopped talking to his brothers. Still, his heart drops.
âOn a couple of occasions that he did leave the class- which is rare-â she continues, âI caught a couple of children bullying him. I donât tolerate that, and have punished them appropriately, but this is new as far as Iâm aware. His behavior seems to be making him a target for teasing.â
Sukunaâs shoulders drop to his sides as he stares across the room in wide-eyed disbelief. Choso was beingâŠ? Why had he never mentioned it?
Of course Sukuna wants to do right by Yuji, but he carries a deep conviction to do right by Choso. The eldest of his little brothers may not look like him, but Choso is a very obvious product of Sukunaâs shortcomings.
He just didnât realize how obvious.
Sukuna struggles to remember the last time Choso even smiled. His heart twists as the image he conjures in his mind of his little brother is adorned with a frown and eyes that speak of unspoken battles that Sukunaâs incapable of helping him through.
There was a time, so far into the past now that the tattooed man hardly remembers it anymore, where Choso was much closer in personality to Yuji than to Sukuna. Heâd always been a bit more on the calm side than his youngest brother, but he was filled with a genuine curiosity for the world, his eyes so filled with light.
He canât say for sure when that light dulled and eventually flickered out.
Sukunaâs not sure he ever really came to terms with the fact that at the root of this issue, he became a father at eighteen.
A father.
Heâs not sure he really understands the meaning behind the term, in truth. He canât be sure where the line falls between brother and father, unable to clearly define the roles. The brother in him wants to teach the kids bullying his little brother a lesson. The father in him, whatever part of him that is, is lost. What do you do when the kid youâve raised is being bullied?
Whatâs Sukuna meant to do? Thereâs no handbook for this.
Would Kaori know how to deal with this?
Would Jin have known?
He wonders if Jinâs watching this unfold somewhere on the other side. If heâs as torn up about his fractured family as Sukuna is. How would he feel to know his oldest son dropped out of college and has amounted to nothing more than another bill on an expensive lawyerâs docket?
Sukunaâs guilt towards Jin is misplaced, though, when Choso is sitting back at home. He thinks his remorse regarding his mistakes with Choso set in before he ever really realized what role heâd been forced into playing. It lingered deep in the recesses of his mind, back when he still grappled heavily with his grief, but it wasnât until heâd processed his situation that he realized just how fucked heâd been.
Choso was so young. Sukuna was so young. Eighteen is old enough to legally be a guardian, but not to drink. What kind of sick law is that? To have that responsibility thrust upon him with no other options left Sukuna as a horribly bitter man suffocating from the weight of the pressure. Rather than asking for help, he chose to drown his brother in his sorrows, to bring them both down.
But could you even call it a choice he made when the reality is that they were both just kids?
Thereâs no guide for this sort of shit. No YouTube videos, no âFor Dummiesâ book.
What would that even be called? âHow to Become a Father to Your Little Brothers for Dummiesâ?
How many times would he need to remind himself that he acted so childish back then because he was a child? Hell, sometimes he thinks he still is. The weight of his immaturity bears down on him harshly when he remembers forgetting to pay taxes just a couple of years ago because March and April were never tax season to him.
They were the beginning of skateboarding season, of paint sticking to walls and basketball with Toji.
Only, Toji wasnât there anymore.
He just forgot to pay.
The worst memory he carries with him from that time is one that keeps him up at night. Worse than when he snapped at Choso when Kaori didnât reply, and worse than relying on a kid to help him make it through a house study.
He remembers staring at Choso with resentment, seeing only Kaori in his features. He remembers the discussions with lawyers quickly turning into arguments. Choso was always on the sidelines, listening in. Sukuna had no real regard for him at the time, too caught up in his own issues. He recalls yelling about how he didnât ask for any of the responsibility, he didnât ask to be looking after his brothers like this.
âI donât want them, or any of this shit!â
His words echo in his mind, burrowing themselves into his very being like a parasite.
He shuts his eyes briefly. If only Choso could see him now. See how much this really means to Sukuna. Just once, he wants to do right by his little brother. He canât erase the past, but he can make up for it with a better future. He can show Choso that his misgivings in the past were a product of the misdirected anger of a delinquent child.
Like every other time heâs stumbled through life and learned as he went, heâll figure things out this time too. Heâll scare off the bullies with a glare as Chosoâs brother, and let Choso know to tell him if it happens again as his parent.
Heâll figure it the fuck out.
He faces straight ahead, his face hardened with resolve.
âMs. Donovan, did you make Mr. Sukuna aware of the bullying?â
She hesitates, casting a glance in his direction. âThis development is recent and I havenât had the opportunity to, no.â
âWould you say itâs safe to assume that Mr. Sukuna isnât aware of what goes on with Choso at school?â
She hesitates once more, her face falling as she watches Sukuna from her peripherals. â... Yes.â
âCan you confirm whether or not youâve attempted to get his attention around your concerns with Choso?â
She nods again. âYes, I have.â
Sukunaâs resolve shatters before it has the chance to flourish. Even Chosoâs teacher thinks Sukunaâs failing.
As much as he wants to say he stands on equal footing with Kaori, fear crawls up his spine and grips him by the throat.
Is he losing?
He canât lose, by all accounts heâs been there, heâs the living and breathing proof of what it means to care for someone. It doesnât matter how many mistakes heâs made, heâs still learning. Maybe he is young, maybe he is inexperienced, maybe Choso needs more help than Sukunaâs been giving him, but he can figure that shit out.
Itâs true that Sukuna didnât ask for this responsibility. He didnât want it. But heâll fight for it. Heâll fiercely protect the family he recognizes now as the most important part of his life. The people who each hold pieces of him and make him who he is. Choso, and Yuji. His eyes trail back slowly to you, seated on the edge of your chair.
You look gorgeous. Even with your brow furrowed in concern and fear that mirrors his own, you look flawless. You hold a piece of him, too. A piece that he canât bear to live without, for fear that he might completely fall apart.
He wants to scream from the top of his lungs that every person here is a damn fool if they believe any of Kaoriâs words. He wants to list every single misdemeanor that she did that he could never tell his dad about. Yet, every single time he tries to lead the conversation in the direction that Kaori isnât all she seems, they have some sort of concrete proof or evidence to say otherwise.
Itâs fucked, and all Sukuna can do now is pray to whatever god will listen. His heart is in this and that should be what matters, because Kaoriâs isnât. If itâs obvious to him, itâs obvious to the judge. He has to cast aside his concerns of outside manipulation of the judge, because this is all he has.
âNo further questions, Your Honor.â
As the bailiff dismisses the final witness, the courtroom becomes deathly silent. It penetrates through Sukuna like a banshee, ringing loudly in his ears. As closing arguments finally begin and Mr. Cahn rises, his words are a blur to Sukuna. His, Ms. Harteâs. Theyâre all the same, reiterating the points theyâve gone over already and emphasizing the importance of this case. Mr. Cahn makes a point that thereâs a reason a rush was placed on this case, as Choso can only be put through so much, but Ms. Harte easily refutes that once this case is over, Choso will find his footing in the world once more.
As Judge Martinez requests a moment to consider his notes before delivering a decision, the silence bears down further on Sukuna from all sides. It threatens to suffocate him, clawing at his insides as the taste of iron floods his mouth when he bites down on his tongue a bit too hard.
Heâs kept his fears so well-masked over the course of the past hour that his body seems to burst as he feels his hands physically shivering in his lap. Itâs not cold in the room, if anything the sweat rolling down his jaw from his temple should spell out just how warm the room really is.
Heâd spent so many days preparing for this moment, so many hours on the phone with telecommunications companies for phone logs, putting in extra work to get letters from his employers, and pulling files out from the darkest depths of closets to prove anything.
Had this been a couple of years ago, heâs not even sure if he could have managed to get the files. Not because he wouldnât have cared or wanted to, but because the sight of his fatherâs obituary tucked among all his bills would have sent Sukuna spiralling. Heâs come so far over the past few years, he canât let it be for nothing.
How had it come to this, in the first place?
When would karma come for Kaori like it had so often haunted Sukuna?
His attention snaps to the judge as the man addresses the room again. âI have carefully read through all of the provided evidence. After considering this and the testimonies from witnesses of both parties, I have reached a decision that I believe is in the best interest of the children and their mental well-being.â
Their mental well-being? Sukunaâs heart drops. No.
âI would like to start by acknowledging how much love is clearly being put on display for these children. I can very clearly see that both parties care greatly for them. My greatest consideration today will be to ensure the long-standing welfare of the children and ensure they have what they need in order to flourish int he future.â
On the edge of his seat, Sukuna clings to the table with white knuckles. This canât happen. He has to interrupt.
âWith that in mind, the decision I have made today is one that I feel will allow the children to heal from any prior transgressions. Concerns on both sides have been noted, and I believe both parties today will be able to understand where my decision is coming from.â
Sukunaâs gaze whips towards Ms. Harte, whose expression is grave. She knows too. He has to say something. He has to-
âThe applicant, as the biological mother of Choso and Yuji Itadori will be granted sole guardianship. While I understand the applicant placed a rush on this trial, I do not believe that Mr. Sukuna places the children in any immediate danger and as both their half-brother and prior guardian, he will retain visitation rights. To allow the children a safe and easy transition, this will be effective as of Monday next week.â
âNo! She doesnât fucking care!â Sukuna barks in a desperate plea, losing control as he finally stands.
The bailiff stands immediately. âMr. Sukuna! Order, please,â she requests, matching his fervor with confidence.
With venomous intent, he opens his mouth, but Ms. Harte places a hand on his forearm to catch his attention. âPlease sit, Sukuna. Iâll work through this with you.â
Surely she has cause for a retrial or an appeal or something, right? He has to put his belief in her and her abilities right now, because it might damn be all he has left.
As he takes a seat, his vision closes in on him. White from all edges, he shuts his eyes and rubs harshly at them. The ringing in his ears is overbearing, his throat closing up on him as he struggles to sit still.
The trial continues on without him as Ms. Harte makes decisions on his behalf for the handover of the children on Monday morning. Sukuna canât make out a single word being said. Itâs nothing more than jumbled and broken letters, gibberish in his mind.
He feared this outcome so heavily, yet it never seemed like it could be a possibility. What happened here that Kaori had gotten away with so much deception? Where had these supposed hospital records come from?
What kind of dumbass is this judge? Did Kaori pay him?
On paper, the case was always tough, but the more evidence he pulled up, the more it leaned in his favor. Yet with each piece of evidence he compiled, Kaori had something up her sleeve to throw the balance off.
Would he spend a lifetime wondering what went wrong?
Kaori would never let him visit no matter his rights, would he not see Choso for six years? Would it be thirteen years before he sees Yuji again? Surely not, his lawyer has to figure something out. Heâll drain every penny he has to make it happen. He canât let this happen.
He canât fail Choso again.
And yet, he already has.
You sniffle from behind Sukuna, though he doesnât move, he doesnât seem to hear it. You want just as badly as he surely does to reverse the decision, to fight more, fight harder if you can, but itâs to no avail. Youâre at a complete and utter loss. Your head feels horribly light as the decision truly sets in.
The bailiff adjourns the court, advising an exit of the room.
Wiping tears from your eyes and inhaling sharply, you cling tightly to the bracelets that round your wrist, forced to watch in horror as Sukuna stands abruptly, stumbling out of his chair with the scraping of wood across the floor. He clutches at his chest, anger ablaze in his eyes as he slams out the door while Ms. Harte attempts to reach out to him.
Your lips part as you call after Sukuna as well, but heâs gone before it ever reaches him. Whether heâs going to throw his unsuspecting lighter into another wall or to gasp for air out in the cool morning, you canât say for sure, but one thingâs for certain.
It took Kaori only one hour and twenty four minutes to rip whatever remained of your dear friend to pieces.
Another tear rolls down your cheek and you find yourself choking back a sob as you hide your face on the way out.
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⊠a/n ; forgive me :')
trust, i promise this series will have a happy ending <33 i'm a sucker for angst though and you guys are subject to my whims đââïž LMAO anyway regardless of the angst and devastation, i really hope everyone is still enjoying the series! ty all for sticking with me, there's still much more to come! i never could have anticipated how long this series would be but i'm super grateful to be able to share it with you all
shoutout again to all the lovely and amazing people who helped me with the legal drama as well, it's been a huge help! if you see any legal process errors, no you didn't ;)
⊠taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune
#im going to tweak out#oh my GodâŠ..#but Trish omg this chapter was so good#writing a court scene so well must be so hard đđ#I appreciate the dedication and the skill#aashi recs
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Comics Review: 'Shadow Service' TPB #3
Shadow Service Vol. 3: Death to Spies by Cavan Scott, Corn Howell, Triona Farrell

adventure
fantasy
occult
science fiction
spy stuff
My Rating: 4 of 5 stars
Well, now, that's not good.
The supernatural intelligence community has witnessed a string of targeted attacks from all manner of simulants â tricky, powerful creatures that absorb the form of local folklore and rip apart local agents. Perfect timing. Gina has convinced herself that she's getting the hang of this secret agent stuff. This occult agent stuff. This being-a-witch thing. But shapeshifters are nasty business. And they're a global problem. Also, Section 26 is next on the hit list.
SHADOW SERVICE v3 is a riot of twists and turns. The first volume in this wickedly beautiful occult action comic produced exquisitely flawed (and entertaining) characters all too confident in themselves (and their flaws). The second volume was about scale, and about how the ego and petulance that clouds the judgment of humans so commonly clouds the judgment of the denizens of other realms as well. SHADOW SERVICE v3 is about one thing: betrayal. And if not full-on betrayal, then certainly the hindrances and dissatisfactions that manifest in their place when the institutions one trusts (or has no choice but to trust), contort themselves against one's favor.
Every chapter of this volume holds a hellacious twist. An otherwise well-plotted mission to recruit a member of The Department, Russia's supernatural secret service, goes to crap. A well-regarded teammate is fatally wounded. A well-trained agent from the Ministry of Esoteric Defense, China's occult secret service agency, makes her way into the West End and requests asylum. But whose fault is the botched mission? Must a dead teammate always be avenged? And is agent Hui Shoi-Ming, as buff and attractive as she is, telling the truth when she says her life is in danger?
Readers cannot be faulted if, upon finishing this volume, they are interminably fatigued by all of the sneaking around, the flashbacks, the speechifying, and the betrayals.
SHADOW SERVICE v3 is another solid book. However, the creative team leaves readers with zero time to rest. This is definitely the type of volume in which something remarkable happens on nearly every page. Gina and the delightfully snarky ghost version of her old pall Gideon Quill go house hunting, eventually stumbling upon the maternity hospital of the young witch's birth. Meanwhile Hex makes a mess of an interrogation when a doozy of a mythical creature crashes the party. Also meanwhile, Agent Hui learns an uncomfortable, blood-stained truth when the crisscrossed, unkept lines of command finally unravel ("What use is a scapegoat if you don't leave them behind?").
As with previous volumes, SHADOW SERVICE v3 is gorgeous. One highlight is the appearance of a flea demon, BĂ olĂŹ: a wonderfully hideous, massive, eight-limbed terror of puss and teleportation skill. The demon's transparent torso seethes; it's face-shape is that of a skinless, three-quarters human skull; and the beast is colored with iridescent purples and blues that span the smoky to the cerulean. Gina is a great character, and Hui the flirty shapeshifter is a fun addition to the cast, but this volume's unquestionable highlight is the arrogant flea demon who teases and torments its prey.
Section 26 is in a bad spot. Fortunately, Gina is slowly unearthing the secrets and misgivings involving a deeper-underground coven of bootlickers eager to turn the world over to the darkness. Just what the heck is this "seventh scion" anyways? And why in the hell is it Gina?
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SHE TOLD YOU THAT SHE CELIBATE, SHE TOLD ME I COULD NAIL HER SH*T â gojo satoru minors dni
PART I. of the new years letters, a series of fics dedicated to some of my lovely mutuals! đ
prologue. â you wish gojo satoru would stop trying to ask you out. not that you don't like him, but dating the one guy that you're smacked silly about would mean that he could break your heart and leave you in ruins. so it's best to keep some distance right?
pairing. gojo satoru x afab!reader
warnings+. college au, reader wears a skirt, reader is choso's twin and yuuji's older sister, but no appearance detailed. kissing, making out, Ăłral (f) receiving, general bitchiness and fuckups đ ensemble cast of poor bystanders (geto, shoko, sukuna, yuki etc)
word count. 10k! song inspiration. gang baby â nle choppa
a/n. it's because of that one edit by satorupedia that's going around rn. yall know which one đ art by touno_stupa on twt!
dedication. yayyy decided to start my little gift series for new years with this fic inspired and dedicated to @fushitoru who was one of the first blogs i followed on here before i was super familiar with jujutsu kaisen. aashi writes thee most wonderful gojo fics that are so well characterised and heart-stoppingly adorable and HAWT. đ đ€ and i easily associate her with physics/college au gojo now, ever since her spiderman gojo fic that lives in my head!!!!
gojo in this fic:
ACT I. don't puck around and find out!
"i ran into gojo today," choso says, his voice as unbothered and monotone as ever, scraping the gravel lazily with the heel of his scuffed combat boots, "or he ran into me."
"gojo satoru?"
"how many gojos do we know?" your twin brother huffs, giving you a dry side-eye. but before you can retort something equally acrid, he's yanking at the sleeve of your sweatshirt, halting you midstep, "wait. car."
you blink out of your tired daze just in time to see a battered camry putter past, its engine groaning like it's on its last legs. just how you feel after a long day of seminars and lectures. the car rattles down the street with the grace of a tin can tied to a string.
"thanks," you mutter, half-heartedly as you shift your laptop case from one tired arm to the other, "could have been the end of my genius academic career."
"would have been a short one either way," choso quietly quips, earning himself a sharp elbow to the ribs.
"so?" you press on.
"so, what?"
"what did gojo say?"
"ohhh," choso drawls, in that irritating way of his that indicates he has no idea how to deliver good gossip, news or any form of tea, "he asked if i wanted to play hockey for his team tomorrow. they're down a player ever since kento went on exchange."
"hockey?" your eyebrow arches, and skepticism curls your lips for choso is hardly known for his athleticism. you mean, you're sure he has the physical ability in him somewhere but you (and the rest of the world) are yet to see it, "are you gonna join the team, then?"
not that you care about gojo's stupid, state-tournament winning team. of course not. you're just curious. and curiosity is harmless.
it has nothing to do with the fact that you woke up last night wanting to jump gojo satoru's bones. just like you did the night before, and before. and the week before that. yeah, suffice to say that this has been going on for a while.
"nah," choso says, shaking dull, greasy strands of dark hair out of his eyes, "got placements tomorrow."
right. placements. choso's all about pathology and lab medicine and test tubes, while you get queasy at the mere mention of haemoglobin. and it unsettles you mildly at how your twin brother's eyes light up at the mere mention of a blood test.
"and?" you prod when he starts to drift off again, his attention wandering like it always does.
choso is often like a calm river. slow, broad and lazy.
this time, you pull at his one of his headphone cords to reel him back, "did gojo say anything else?"
choso gives you that dull look, quiet but loaded. like he's already solved a puzzle that you didn't know you were trying to hide. it just makes your stomach twist, "why do you care what gojo satoru says?"
"i don't," you snap, far too fast, like your tongue is racing your brain to a crash site. the lie sits heavy in your throat, thick and obvious.
choso's pale and dry lips twitch, and you wondered what happened to the lip balm you threw into his christmas stocking last year, "should i have told him you could sub in for his team instead?"
"no-one likes a smartass, cho," you grumble, speeding up your steps as your twin leisurely rummages through his fraying backpack for his house keys. you roll your eyes and push ahead, jamming your own keys into the lock before you die of boredom waiting for him to dig through the trash heap that lies at the bottom of his bag, "anyway, i was just asking. you brought gojo up."
choso trails behind you, his tone infuriatingly casual, "you always get weird when someone mentions him. i thought you guys were friends."
"we are friends. and i don't get weird."
"you get so weird. even yuki said so."
"i love yuki, i do. but she has no idea what she's talking about â"
the door swings open, cutting off your false deflection. standing there is yuuji, with half a sandwich dangling from his mouth like he's some kind of feral creature. there's a smear of mayonnaise clinging to his cheek as he yanks a red, track hoodie over his tank top.
"mmph! hey, you guys!" he muffles through a mouthful of bread, waving at you with the enthusiasm that only a teenage boy could muster after inhaling half the fridge.
"where are you off to?" you peer at your younger brother, your eyes zeroing in on his mutilated sandwich. a sandwich that you're certain you made for yourself this morning, leaving it for a study session upon your return.
"track practice," yuuji says, swallowing the last bite whole, "then dinner with fushiguro and kugisaki." he's already halfway down the driveway, sneakers untied and laces flopping on the pavement behind him.
choso narrows his eyes, "got money? or a water bottle? a hat? did you wear sunscreen?"
"i'm good!" yuuji calls back without breaking stride, waving a quick hand at the two of you.
"why don't you hold his hand and walk him to school, mother?"
"shut up," choso grumbles as he brushes past you into the house, throwing you an exaggerated scowl of wounded, elder-brother pride over his shoulder, "why don't you hold gojo's hand to hockey practice?"
your bookbag swings through the air, connecting to the back of choso's oversized head and a loud thud follows.
ACT II. long overdue and lacking a spine
you had been in this library for hours, eyes blurring as the words in your textbook stubbornly refused to make sense. it was all a gross blur of terms and diagrams, and your $8.00 coffee had gone lukewarm an hour ago.
study, pass, graduate. get a good gpa. that was the plan, no distractions.
your phone, however, had other ideas as it sat innocently next to your stack of notes. you tapped the screen quickly under the guise of a 'quick break' but before long, you were deep into instagram stories. someone's dog, a flyer for a rave that you definitely weren't going to, and then, of course, him.
gojo satoru. on someone's reposted story with a classic, grainy photo of one of the campus's most darling boys. long arm draped casually over some girl. both of them lit in the neon glow of what looked like a party bus. he wasn't even looking at the camera, just flashing that effortless grin that you had seen your entire life growing up. and the girl was gorgeous, obviously. not that you cared about that.
but speak of the devil and he hath appear. a long shadow fell over the table, and you felt the chill in your bones, trying not to shift in your seat.
"go away, gojo," you muttered, not even deigning to look up.
"how'd you know it was me?" his voice is teasing, all light and airy as he's pulling out the chair next to you.
"what can i say? lucky guess," you reply dryly, keeping your eyes glued to the suspiciously-stained textbook. worried that you'll look up and your iron resolve will disappear from one glance at big, blue eyes.
but out of the corner of his eye, you try not to twitch at the sight of the soft, pale blue hoodie that swallows his broad frame whole. thick, white strands of hair that fall gently over his face. and that cloying scent of mint and something faintly sweet that leaves your ears hot and your heart sitting in your throat.
study, pass, graduate. get a good gpa. that's what you tell yourself in a now failing mantra.
"are you following me today?" you ask, flipping a page with exaggerated nonchalance, like you're not about to tear up pathetically from a stupid crush.
"caught me," gojo says, the grin audible even in his voice, "i just couldn't resist finding you. is that what you want me to say?"
you finally look up, swallowing at unfairly fine features, "saw you were at some party yesterday. i didn't think you'd be on campus today."
gojo just laughs, the sound soft and infuriating, "keeping tabs on me now?" and he's rifling through his bag for something, "or you don't think the library's a good look for me? i'm broadening my horizons. testing the waters."
you narrow your eyes, willing the heat rising in your face to stay put and not crawl into your voice, "i think you're testing my patience. i have a test tomorrow, so if you're here to waste my time..."
"maybe i just wanted to hang out with my friend," gojo says, tearing open a kitkat wrapper in an obnoxious way that echoes through the silent hall, and the crinkle of plastic grates against your nerves, "we haven't seen each other in ages."
"don't you have a lot of other people to hang out with nowadays?" you're mentally beating yourself with a bat at your question, wincing at how it sounds like you keep count of who he hangs out with, and you're pathetically down bad for him. like a 90s singer begging on his knees for a kiss.
"i mean, i could hang out with them," gojo says, breaking his kitkat horizontally like a monster, "but they're not you."
his sunglasses are gone, revealing eyes so blue they look otherworldly, and he's throwing you that smiling, lopsided grin that makes your heart run around a room and bang into the walls. but no. you were not going to let gojo satoru get to you. he probably made every girl feel like this, like they were the centre of his fast-paced universe. until the next shiny thing came along.
besides, gojo satoru dated models. or stunning cheerleaders. the kind of people who looked good under strobe lights, and in the glow of his party bus digital camera pics.
and hey, it's not like you were self-depreciating or awfully insecure. you liked who you were and you would never change it for anyone. quiet and ambitious. reserved, but down for some fun. you'd like to think you were the type of person who saw the world in a beautiful, cinematic light. but it was maddening how gojo satoru seemed to bring out the most juvenile issues in you that had your stomach turning itself into ugly knots.
"gojo," you try to sound as nonchalant as possible, "are you even here to study?"
as in why are you really here? please ask me out.
gojo looks unbothered, unshaken, "coffee. cake. maybe even some flirting, if you're up to it."
the universe hates you. it has a way of delivering what you want right into your hands, when...you don't exactly want it.
you blink at the white-haired man, disbelief bubbling under your skin, "you're not serious."
"why wouldn't i be?"
"c'mon, satoru. everyone knows you're not the actual dating type. you ever been in a relationship that wasn't pr and lasted for more than two weeks?"
absolutely bonkers at how your heart and your tongue are not on the same wavelength at all. it's like your mouth missed the memo and is just firing bullets that have gojo's grin faltering a bit, as a flicker of heated annoyance flashes in his eyes. even hurt, but it's gone too quickly for you to read into it.
"didn't realise that you thought i was that much of a joke," and you're not fond of how gojo's voice is quieter now, and a pretty sneer is dancing across his lips. you're biting your lip before you lose your stupid, petty resolve to not get involved with someone who could truly break your heart.
"if you didn't make everything a joke, it wouldn't be," you snap at him, and you're not even sure what you're angry at. there's no reason to be annoyed, or frustrated or even hurt and snippy with a friend who came and sat with you to catch up.
but you don't want to untangle whatever you're projecting onto gojo satoru, so you let bitter words spill over, "some of us don't have time for your games, gojo. we have real lives to deal with."
gojo's expression shifts completely, and that playful spark in his eyes is replaced with something colder as he stands up and shoves his hands into his pockets, "right." and his tone is clipped, pissed, "got it. no time for games."
you watch as gojo walks away, already tapping away on his phone, but his footsteps are quieter than you expect. part of you wants to call after him, to take back the teeth and claws that painted your words.
but instead, you just look away from him and grimace. you must have pulled an awful, twisted face â for the man sitting across from you leans in and asks if you need to take an aspirin, or if you're low on fibre.
ACT III. between the covers
the bookstore smells faintly of old paper and new ink. a sharp contrast to the chill lingering outside, so the warmth hits you like a welcome blanket. the air buzzes with the muted chatter of customers, and the occasional beep of a cash register.
you're winding your way through the aisles, set on two missions. find that jacket-cover book that you had been wanting for weeks, and to hunt down the manga that yuuji had begged you to pick up for him.
you dart past a couple lingering in front of a 'booktube' bestseller display, narrowing avoiding a child wielding a stuffed dragon that you can only assume is smaug the magnificent from the hobbit. straight into the quieter section of the store, tucked in the back and smack-bang right into â
thud!
your shoulder collides hard with someone else, sending you stumbling back a step.
"fuck's sake. watch it," the person snaps, his tone sharp.
"maybe you should â" you start to retort, before the words die and patter out on your tongue as your mouth goes dry.
gojo satoru, ladies and gentlemen.
he's scowling at you, with sunglasses pushed up onto his head that expose those ridiculously pale eyelashes under the glow of the overhead lights. he's layered on a crisp varsity jacket, over a thick hoodie, all shades of soft blue and grey. and he looks irritated, with thick brows furrowed at you. but you don't miss the faint surprise that flutters across his face when he takes you in.
"seriously?" gojo murmurs, though more to himself, and his voice still holds an edge that has you wilting, "out of all the aisles in this store..."
you blink, caught somewhere between an apology that dances on the edge of your lips, and a bewildered laugh at how the divine powers deliver the worst luck on you. instead, you shove your hands deep into the pockets of your aviator jacket, "sorry. didn't see you."
gojo's shoulders relax, but just barely. as though he's still caught in the heavy fog of tension from your last words to him. but to your mild credit, he doesn't quite look ready to storm out either. progress?
"so. what are you doing here?" you ask, trying to break the ice and pretend that you're not doing internal pirouettes.
"just had to pick up a textbook," gojo mutters, holding up a thin and over-priced looking book on something like...quantum mechanics, "exams are coming up. gotta keep the top spot, you know."
you blink, "you're actually studying?"
gojo raises his eyebrow, lips twitching into the faintest smile, "what? you think i roll into my classes and ace everything through sheer willpower? or i spend all day being a joke and annoying everyone, right?"
you sigh, feeling the frosty, ice-gaze settle once more over you, paralysing you from head to toe, "look, gojo. i don't know what came over me that day," and now you're being sincere, looking away from his narrowed stare, "it's like some crazy, evil monster came over me and it possessed me. i think i incarnated some demon king in me and i said all that mean shit."
he shifts slightly beside you, and you don't miss at how gojo's lower lip juts out at your apology, or how close he is to you right now. "and i was jus' being stupid. swear i don't think you're a joke." you try to pick up some random book, pretending you're very busy as you speak.
but it's very hard to look genuine when you've just picked up a glossy copy of 'stand and deliver: a hard look at fixing male erection problems.'
it earns you a small laugh, light and quick, that has you almost falling to your knees, and you can hear choso's voice in your head. muttering out a dulcet 'i told you so. you want him so bad.' but it's worth it as gojo leans against the nearest shelf, the annoyance from earlier starting to ebb.
and for a moment, gojo studies you and his expression is unreadable. for your part, you're pretending to read the back cover of 'stand and deliver' and some blurb about how this award-winning author managed to help her husband 'get it up' after twenty years of marriage.
but the tension in his posture dissolves, relaxing further and gojo hums, "noted." that's all he says, and an awkward silence hovers. it hovers so uncomfortably, leaving you floundering for a new topic until gojo's voice breaks the silence.
"choso's doing good, yeah? i heard he got a girlfriend."
you smile, "yeah. yuki, she's like really cool. i don't know how he did it."
gojo snickers, "i asked if he wanted to play hockey and i think he's been avoiding me all week."
you try to pretend its not because of how you re-enacted your little spat with gojo, demonstrating the entire thing for your twin brother. who had just called you stupid afterwards. among other not-so-flattering terms, with little consideration for your crushing, beating heart.
"you going to suguru's party next weekend?"
ah, now that's a curveball.
because, again, you are your own brand of cool. or so you'd like to think, so this isn't really a matter of pitying comparison. but geto suguru is like on another level of effortlessly vogue. at least in your eyes. you know that he's gojo's best friend and he delivered a (controversial) and killer project on gene editing last semester. you know that geto's involved with gig photography as a hobby, and thus, has personal access to some of the coolest bands in the city.
and you also know that he occasionally waves a hand to you, but it's not like you actually know the man. it's just mutual association.
"i wasn't planning on it," you hesitate, for you really had been planning to cram through a mid-term session, "but someone asked me to go as their date."
gojo's smile evaporates, "who?"
"naoya zenin," you say cautiously, watching as gojo's face twists. like he's resisting the urge to gag and tear his hair out.
"naoya? he's like a walking billboard for being an entitled cunt," gojo groans, running a hand through glossy hair that has you trailing your gaze over slender, sculpted hands.
you narrow your eyes, "he seemed...okay. smart, i think."
"oh, he's smart. i'm not questioning that," gojo crabs, "he's so arrogant though. i grew up seeing that guy everywhere. our families were like, half friends."
you cross your arms, suddenly defensive, "are you warning me? or just mad that he asked me out?"
gojo seems to flounder for half a second, quick enough that you could miss it and he could deny it, "jealous of naoya? please," and he scoffs as he leans back against the shelf, "i have taste. unlike some people."
"you can't be the one giving me a lecture on dating etiquette. i mean, how many dates do you have lined up for geto's party? two, three?"
gojo gives you a sly grin, "more than that, hah. gotta keep my options open."
"tacky," you wrinkle your nose, trying to pretend that you don't feel like you just guzzled a gallon of curdled milk, "and classless."
"yes," gojo sighs sadly, "and endlessly charming. it's so hard being me," shooting you back a quizzical look as he pulls up to the register, paying for his textbook.
as he paid, you linger near the shelves, pretending to browse while stealing glances at gojo satoru. there was something different about him today, something quieter that you couldnât quite put your finger on.
and on gojo's way out, he pauses in the doorway, turning back to look at you. his expression is still entirely unreadable, his gaze lingering for just a second longer than usual. and then he was gone.
ACT IV. blush confidential
there's a soft hum of pop music wafting from someone's phone, blending in with the rustle of fabric and the hiss of a straightener. your bedroom is a whirlwind of motion and chaos, with clothes thrown over chairs, and pre-game drinks piled up over your vanity.
"i can't believe you're not coming with us," you gripe to yuki, watching as she lounged up on your bed, denim crinkling as she shifted to adjust herself.
"tch, you know i love a good party," yuki grins with sparkling ideas, "but choso and i have a date tonight. he's been texting me about it all day."
you snicke at the thought of your hapless twin, "yeah. he was practically glued to your dm's. ran into the kitchen table twice this morning."
shoko snorts from her spot at the vanity, from where she's running a brush through cropped, chestnut hair, "choso nervous? i need to see that," she catches your eye in the mirror, "do you still have that lip gloss?"
"on it," you're digging into the vast depths of your purse, grazing your wallet and a hal-featen granola bar. stubbing your finger on an opened gel pen, before clutching a small shiny tube that you toss to shoko.
"so," shoko smacks her lips, "how's it going with naoya?"
you blink, pausing in the middle of capping all your drying pens, "what do you mean how's it going? nothing's going."
your friend swivels on her stool, raising a thin eyebrow, "he's your date at this party, right? and why him, of all people?"
"seriously. that guy's got a reputation. and not a good kind, for a very good reason," utahime chimes in from her corner, where she's yanking on a ribbon woven through her hair.
you shrug, suddenly feeling defensive under their collective scrutiny, "hey. he asked, i said yes. it's not that deep."
shoko exchanges a pointed glance with utahime, and both of them looking equally skeptical in a way that has you flushing.
"he's just annoying, you know," shoko points out, "he thinks he's better than everyone else, and half the time? it's just hot air."
"and the other half?"
"still hot air," shoko flatlines, "you can do better."
"anyone's better than gojo," utahime mutters, "you don't want to be stuck with him."
yuki's snickering, and you're doing your utter best to pretend that the mention of gojo satoru doesn't have you crawling up and down the walls like a termite on crack.
"speaking of gojo," yuki drawls, running a comb through a golden sheaf of thick hair, "is he going with anyone to this party?"
you freeze for half a second, before busying yourself with some new body mist that you picked up from a sale, all vanilla and coconut and macademia, "i ran into gojo the other day," and you keep your tone as neutral as possible, "and he said he had a few dates."
"ugh," shoko groans, wrinkling her nose, "of course he does," and utahime mutters an affirmative, exasperated sigh, echoed only by yuki, who pauses mid-brush to look at you sympathetically.
"what?" you snap, defensive, "why are you all looking at me like that?"
shoko tucks a thin strand of hair behind her ear, "well, i mean. you like gojo, right? like really like him?"
"huh?" the question catches you so off guard that you're left sputtering, as the perfume leaves a sharp and awful taste on your tongue, accidentally leaving a fresh spritz into your mouth, and not the curve of your neck.
"oh, blech. absolutely not," you say vehemently, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, "i don't like him like that. not that i think he's awful or anything â"
utahime crosses her arms, white sleeves brushing against each other, "he is awful."
"yes, thank you for that, utahime. but he's just not my type," you finish firmly, "he's loud. he's disruptive. he can't take anything seriously. i can't date that."
yuki gives you a long and knowing look, "oh, he likes you," she says lightly, as though she's telling you a casual piece of news, and not something that has you biting your tongue till iron spills, "he's been crushing on you for so long."
you feel your stomach twist uncomfortable, like little, evil goblins are dancing in your gut, "that's ridiculous," you mutter, fiddling with the clasp of your purse, "if he liked me, he would ask me out properly. and not date half the student population."
"he probably thinks it's fair, because you keep turning him down," shoko says matter-of-factly, standing up to grab her bag.
"i just don't think he's good for you. or anyone," utahime mutters, earning a pinch from you.
ACT V. stereo love
normally, gojo thrived at these parties. suguru was always able to pull a crowd that straddled the line between chic and cool, with just enough alcohol to keep things interesting. the thrum of the bass-heavy music should have been the perfect escape after a gruelling day spent staring at equations, leaving him half-convinced that his course coordinator was plotting against him and wanted him dead.
but now gojo satoru was just jittery, restless. and he hated that.
so for now, he leaned against the kitchen counter with a full cup in hand, watching people spill out of the living room and into the backyard. it seemed that other students had been aching for a party, something to take them off mid-terms and yet here he was, scowling like a storm cloud. he took another swig of his drink, ignoring how his own stomach was doing unexplained cartwheels.
"you good?"
suguru's low voice cuts through the noise, startling gojo enough that he has to tighten his fingers around his cup so sticky beer doesn't spill over pristine tiles.
gojo waves his closest friend and confidante off, "i'm fine. obviously."
suguru's frown deepens, though it's obscured by his loose, choppy dark hair. and there's skepticism painted all over his face, "you're never this quiet at any party. i thought that by now, i would have had to convince you not to jump off the roof."
"you think too little of me."
"you think too much of yourself," suguru drawls, but he's leaning against the counter beside gojo, as leather and cool metal rustle against each other, "so where's your date? or dates, i should say?"
gojo freezes, his cup halfway to his lip, "come again? what are you talkin' about?"
suguru arches a thin brow, "it's practically all over campus, man. apparently, you had several dates with lovely, young ladies lined up tonight. and i tried to defend your fragile honour, said it was too ambitious even for you. but..."
this revelation hits gojo like a punchline that he wasn't in on, and then it clicks for him. oh, he had started that rumour a few days ago. in the bookstore, to you. his brain replays the scene like a cruel, little highlight reel: the way your expression had wavered minutely, just for a moment, when he had straight up lied and claimed that he had a few dates.
truth be told, gojo had only said it to make you jealous, to see if he could ruffle you and play your game even better.
but now the joke was so clearly on him.
because gojo satoru had no dates. and you? you were here with someone who wasn't him.
suguru's following his gaze across the room, and gojo doesn't even bother to hide his petulant interest. he can see you standing near the back walls, laughing at something that naoya zenin, mayor of all things putrid, had said. naoya, with his stupid green roots and louis vuitton jacket, standing just a little bit too close to you for gojo's liking.
but before he can stew in it any linger, suguru's reaching out and pinching his ear. hard.
"ow! fuck was that for?" gojo's yelping, jerking away from his clearly evil, traitrous best friend.
"that," suguru says evenly, "was for looking like a lovesick idiot. pull yourself together, man."
"i'm not lovesick," gojo weakly protests, rubbing his bruised, throbbing ear and moving further away from suguru geto.
"you're not exactly screaming cool and collected," suguru dryly comments, "sulking like a sore loser while your crush laughs at another guy's jokes."
gojo feels his face heat up, just a little bit, because he knows that suguru's hitting close to home, "i don't sulk and do all that whiny shit. second of all, it's not my fault she went with zenin of all people. it's up to her if she wants to be stuck with someone who talks about his family's real estate portfolio as foreplay."
suguru snorts, and it's clear that he's not playing the role of sympathetic best man for life, "you know what's more obnoxious? watching you fuck around like this. you need to figure out how to ask her properly."
"i did all that!" gojo shoots back, throwing his arms up so his drink dances over the edge of the cup, "she said no. each time. you know what they call a guy who can't take a hint? she thinks i'm a loser!"
"and are you?"
gojo narrows his eyes, "am i what?"
"a loser."
"is it easier for me if i just say yes?" gojo half-heartedly gripes, "is that what you want me to say?"
"or," suguru says calmly, "you're a guy who hasn't proven he's worth saying yes to."
gojo groans, tipping his head back so he can block out the vision of his irritatingly wise best friend, "you sound like my grandmother."
"that's not even an insult. your grandmother is on some metal shit," suguru counters, unbothered, "and you sound like a twelve-year old. you can't flirt and sleaze your way through this. if you want her to take you seriously, i don't know how else to say this, you have to stop being...you."
"excuse me?"
"no. stop, don't make that face," suguru scowls, "you know what i mean. stop being a stupid flirt, and be a genuinely better person. otherwise, you're just spinning and burning out your wheels."
"did you pick up a self help book?"
suguru elbows him, sneering, "i'm trying to help you. if you don't want my help, i'm telling her you have an std."
"maybe you should just do that. end my misery," gojo downs the rest of his drink in one go, the burn of cheap beer doing nothing to ease the olympics in his alimentary canal. what's worse is that suguru is right, the bastard always is.
suguru claps him on the shoulder, "relax, satoru. you've got charm in spades. just use it...wisely."
"yeah, yeah. thanks, man," gojo mutters, brushing him off as suguru wanders away, probably to mediate some dumb argument between that big oaf, toji fushiguro and the even bigger oaf, ryomen sukuna. honestly, why were they even invited?
but gojo stays where he is, eyes flicking back to you. away from the distracting curve of your thighs in that skirt, and rather on how interested you look in naoya's stupid, animated gestures. and you look so at ease, but there's something hot and sharp twisting inside his gut.
suguru's soft, measured voice echoes in his head, "prove yourself as a person first."
oh, yeah. gojo could do that. he would absolutely do that. for you, he'd do just about anything, short of donating his vital organs (but he would definitely be considering it). but how hard could it be to be better? more mature? more grounded?
gojo satoru can handle all that. all he had to do was be a dignified, charming man. you know, someone who puts his best foot forward into the world. someone that you might actually consider taking seriously. someone calm and respectful.
if you were happy with naoya zenin, then who was he to interfere? who was he to ruin that for you? even if the guy looked like wile e. coyote when he smiled. even if naoya zenin was the most smug bastard to walk the earth.
gojo scowled at nothing in particular. but the point was that it wasn't his place to meddle. not if it meant risking your happiness. all he could do was be the best version of himself. polite, kind and above reproach. a good and respectful friend.
ACT VI. a shot of love, on the rocks.
"please, i want you so fuckin' bad."
gojo satoru is on his knees. at a party, in the middle of the living room. for you.
you feel like your mind isn't able to process all this fast enough, like your brain is on some pause. the music is still thumping in your head, but not as fast as your poor cardiac muscles as you're rendered frozen from pathetic, piercing blue eyes blinking up at you.
"please," gojo satoru repeats, and his voice vaguely warbles out like he's kinda lost his marbles and â
let's rewind.
five minutes ago, you had been standing with naoya zenin. and despite your initial reservations, you had been entertained. he's sorta witty, and definitely loaded with snarky remarks that cut through the noise of the party. it's hard not to laugh at his biting commentary, although half the time he's skewering people for fun, and the other half? just out of pure spite.
his golden eyes gleam with that edge, the kind of sharpness that makes you think of a hyena circling around its next meal. naoya is definitely full of himself, but it doesn't help that he's also ridiculously good-looking. and he knows how stunning he is, but its bothering him that you're not showering him in enough compliments for it.
still, he's here with you. he's your date. and you're doing your best to remind yourself of that. naoya is the only option you have at the moment, and he's definitely offering you more attention than anyone else tonight.
from across the room, utahime gives you an exaggerated, pained thumbs-up â while shoko shrugs in her usual blithe manner, but she gestures for you to smile more. you plaster on a wider grin, a little too obvious but naoya doesn't seem to notice.
"you know, if you're getting bored of all this, we could always find another room," naoya's low hiss slices right through the bass-thrum of the pulsing room, "do a little more than just talk."
for a moment, it's easy to imagine slipping away with him. but the sharpness in his killer-smile makes something in you bristle, like he's already envisioned you saying 'oh yes, naoya! please take me to bed!' and you shake your head, and give him an amused look.
"maybe later," you say lightly, "not now."
naoya zenin doesn't seem quite offended, but his smile grows wider as he stands up straight again, from where he had curved his tall frame into you, "i'm a patient man. fine by me, 'm gonna get some more drinks."
and you watch as his golden head of hair disappears into the crowd, leaving you all alone while the music blares around you, like a suffocating fog. you rub your temples, wondering if you should just go after naoya and tell him to go to town, something for the night's enjoyment. but before you can go any further, you hear a shout cut through the noise.
"hey!"
you whip around, blinking in surprise at gojo satoru.
but also not quite the gojo that you're used to. the one that you grew up with, and held hands with in kindergarten, one who smiled easy and laughed too loud. it seems he's ditched the oversized hoodies and varsity jackets tonight, opting for a black tee that fits him a little too well and dark cargo pants that only highlight...
you're getting distracted. but it's hard to remain focused, when he's walking towards with you. seemingly determined, as his white hair falls forward over thunderstorm-eyes. for a moment, you're not sure if youâre hearing him over the pounding music, or if it's just your own pulse making everything seem louder.
"i hate that you're here with naoya," gojo says suddenly, and his voice is low and serious, something that you've never really heard from him before.
your brow furrows, "what?"
"i lied about the dates," he continues, as words just jumble out his candy-pink mouth, "i don't have a bunch of dates. fuck, i don't even have one date. i only want to date you."
you blink, and then you blink once more, because again what?
the sincerity in his voice catches you off guard, and for a moment, you think you might have misheard the man. his blue eyes are wide and earnest, and they're staring right at you.
and before you know, he's on his knees. muscular thighs bending so his knees hit the cool tiles with a heavy thud, hands splayed out for you.
"please," he implores, "you gotta understand. i need you to feel what i feel, because it's not even a passin' thought, i swear. it's not even a stupid crush. this is like â" and he's gesturing wildly with one hand, still kneeling like a knight about to beg for his lady's favour, "this is destiny."
"gojo," you manage, "are you on drugs?"
the white-haired man, bless his sassy heart, rolls his eyes, "no. i'm on beer and vodka. will you please let me finish?"
"yes, but what are you doing?" you hiss, exasperated and sibilant, as more eyes turn to the most ravishing man on campus, who's absolutely off his rocker. and there are phones being pulled out, god help you.
"what am i doing?" gojo smiles, and it's unnervingly wide, "i'm like laying it out all here for you. my love. because that's what you are, to me. like you're everything. and i swear everyone knows this already. should i call you my sun, my moon, my entire universe? it's like time stops when i see you, a-and trust me, i do physics. i know time shit," and he must have caught at how your mouth is flapping open because he suddenly wags a finger, "no! i'm not done. i haven't even told you how the world fades, and all that's left is you glowing. like a star that i can't reach."
he's placing a hand on his broad chest, digging into the tight top clinging to his pectorals, like he's being dramatically wounded, "i have to reach you. i have to be with you."
you're not sure what parts you've processed, or what part of this slow train-wreck has settled in your head, "are you, like, actually begging right now?"
gojo's eyes flash with the intensity of a thousand suns (well, fuck â gojo's awful poeticism is rubbing off on you already). you can hear the low snickers of two men that had been beating the living daylights out of each other half an hour ago, those fuckwits that go by toji and sukuna. you can hear sukuna's deep mutters about how no-one ever would like toji enough to do this for him. and yep, you can hear them scuffle again.
"yes!" gojo booms, and more than a few heads have turned now. you wonder if naoya zenin is watching in the background, and realising that this isn't a battle he wants to pick, "i will kneel for you. like i'd do this shit for eternity, even if my knees hurt so bad right now. but as long as you give me a chance to prove my worth. and my devotion, d-don't forget that! deep as the ocean, endless and vast. and the stars align...oh, how they align for us."
"ah, satoru," you cut in, and you realise that you're now smiling. embarrassment and mild humiliation be damned, there's a quirk tugging at your lips, "you can get up now. this is a bit dramatic."
gojo blinks, not missing a beat, "i'm dramatic because i'm in love, okay? and â" he swivels his head to the crowd, grumbling, "shut up, sukuna! i heard that, i'll beat your wonky ass. you don' know shit about love."
he's turning back to you, all sticky and soothing sugar once more, "where was i? eh, my confession. well, it's all for you. and it's me, givin' you every part of me. beggin' you to see that you're the only one who can break the walls around my heart."
you think that you've completed a full speed-run on every stage of grief that there is to experience, and if the small plink! coming from someone's phone is any indication, gojo's monologue has already made it's way onto someone's private story. and so naturally, everyone will have seen it by tomorrow.
"can you get off your knees? you look ridiculous."
gojo's grin falters for a split second before he straights up, all with a hefty groan as he runs a hand through snowy strands, "ridiculous? i'm being vulnerable as hell, and you think i look stupid?"
"a little," you admit, but you're reaching a hand out to push a strand of thick hair out of his eyes. and it's maddening at how gojo seems to tremble mildly under your touch, at the brush of your fingers against his temple, "kneeling at a frat party is crazy work."
gojo sinks his teeth into a plush lower lip, "that was me trying to show how much i care, and all that sweet shit. you make me lose all my cool, and this isn't even a joke."
"you never had cool, and now you've lost your dignity too," but you're blushing, and it's a giddy feeling at how he's now close enough that you can feel his body heat.
gojo satoru's eyes twinkle, "maybe. but i'd do all that again if it won you over."
"with your future oscar nomination?"
the man shrugs, broad muscles rippling, "he who be a fool for love is far better than he who doth never dare to try at all."
"fair point," you murmur, feeling dizzy in that familiar scent of lemon candies and mint, like the world is swirling around in a heady haze, "do you wanna kiss me to seal the deal?"
"yes please. i think i'm gonna pass out and â mmph!"
you've pulled yourself up, and thrown your arms around his warm neck, drawing gojo into you. crashing your lips into his before either of you can say anything else. it's an urgent, reckless kiss. like a dam has burst and all the pent-up emotions that you've been carrying have finally exploded.
gojo's lips are soft, but demanding, taking more and more air from you. they fit against you with an ease that feels almost too natural. and his broad arms come around your waist with a force that leaves the air punched out of you. he's holding you tightly, as though he's afraid that you'll just disappear if he doesn't keep you close enough.
you can feel the heat of his body against yours, the muscles in his arms that flex as he pulls you in, deepening the kiss. all while his mouth moves against yours with a slow and deliberate intensity, as his tongue parts your lips. all so messy.
when gojo finally pulls away, the last brush of his lips catches your quiet whimper. just as his breath goes ragged, and you're left standing there, dazed, with your forehead resting against his. you can still feel the warmth of his lips on yours, that electricity that's crackling and buzzing through your veins as you giggle.
gojo, however, doesn't give you a chance to catch your breath. he tugs your wrist with a sharp, swift motion. but his grip is firm, not harsh as you pulls you away from the living room, "c'mon. let's get outta here."
shoko's eyes are wide, her jaw practically locked in disbelief, "what the hell just happened?"
utahime's lips curl, "someone took gojo's brain out and replaced it with a clone. ah! geto, what did you do?"
suguru has been standing near the kitchen counter, absolutely floored, and he's shaking his head so hard that he feels a headache forming, "hand on my heart, ladies. i told him not to pull any stunts. swear on destiny's child that i didn't tell him to do all that."
ACT VII. i bet we'd have really good bed chem!
gojo satoru has absolutely lost his mind. but you wish that he had lost it a bit earlier, because you're practically pawing at his top now. critically working to make quick work of the tight fabric, letting your fingers run over hard planes of muscles and lower.
right until you're reaching a trail of soft white hairs that disappear into the band of his pants.
"seems like you're just as desparate as me, hah," gojo snickers, and his broad hand is trailing further up your thighs, letting your skirt bunch and crinkle under his ministrations. thick fingers brush over dewy cotton, and you moan.
"s-satoru!"
"you don't even know how long i've w-wanted this," and his hand clenches at the fabric, gripping it so tightly that you fear it may just be on the verge of tearing, but you can only buck your hips into him further.
no longer even mindful of how you must be already dripping onto the palm of his hand, "and i thought you knew. i r-really thought you knew how much i wanted you."
his middle finger is gliding through your damp and searing slit, with clinging strands latching onto his skin as you muffle a whine into his chasing, teasing lips.
it's sending deep, low curls of arousal in thick waves, settling low in your groin and you don't even care what room of the house you're now in, someone's bedroom with a dark, stylish bedspread and vinyls up on the walls.
the force of his large hands drives you down onto the bed, pressing your back onto the soft mattress.
and gojo looks so pleased, at how you're splayed and sprawled out underneath his torso, his hands tugging at your now bare thighs to spread your legs even further. pulling them far enough so they come to rest on either side of his face.
"fuck, she's so pretty. even better than i imagined," and gojo's voice is husky and low, almost strained, "and believe me. imagined her plenty." the sound of drenched cotton being torn rips through the air, slippery and resistant from your arousal.
it's even stubborn as the fabric refuses to budge, until it gives way under the force of gojo's tug, soft and tearing. leaving your pussy open to the cool, cold air. bare for gojo's eyes to rest upon and widen.
his lips brush against your thigh with an uncharacteristic gentleness, one that makes your entrance clench and wink.
but gojo is nothing if not teasing, and he feels light-headed. pressing featherlight kisses to the crevice of your thigh, and then closer to your aching mound. but even he cannot hold off for much longer, and he's pressing a flat, lazy print of his tongue against your cunt.
that first munch sends a burst of tangy sweetness dancing across gojo's tongue, and he thinks he might just bust a load right then and there. the heat of your clenching cunt is almost overwhelming, but hey.
gojo's never been a quitter, and he doesn't care if he creams his pants at this very moment, he needs to hear that sweet whimper of his name from your lips again.
his lips part, blowing a quick breath on your aching clit, right as his fingers begin to press and meld into your syrupy folds. it's got you practically jumping further into him, so wet strands are clinging to the very tip of his nose. and gojo knows that this is heaven. that he's unlocked true paradise.
"satoru, c-can't you...?"
he's too busy running his tongue over your clit, drawing small circles with the very tip of the hot muscle, "can't i what, pretty? don' want me eating you out?"
and you are so adorable, pushing your head up to scowl down at him with furrowed brows, but the flush in your cheeks paints you the most beautiful shade of cherry red. and gojo vows to spend the rest of his life ensuring that this shade never leaves your cheeks.
"can't you get to the eating part? thought that you were gonna â f-fuck! hnngh, 'toru!"
he's pulling your thighs tighter around his head, and he doesn't give a fuck if this is how he goes. suffocated in this tantalising heat, with your fingers lacing themselves into woven patterns in his white hair.
he's lowering his tongue once more into your throbbing pussy, making sure that his pleased vibrations send pleasurable rumbles right through your core.
grinning and slurring his tongue further into you, right as you buck desparate hips over and over. dragging yourself against his chin, so he's sure that the lower half of his face must be glistening with your sweetness.
gojo absolutely thinks he can get used to being like this, at having you angle and force his head further into your cunt. letting you angle and toy at him and use him for your pleasure. he snaps his teeth around glossy strands of arousal, once and then twice, before delving back in.
making sure that his spare hand finds your clit to draw quick flicks and shapes over it, pushing a finger right up against the throbbing hood.
"satoru, ah, satoru! 'toru!" it's all you can even manage right now, just chants and groans of his names, as he's practically sunken your hips into the mattress, while he's on his knees for the second time this night.
"hey, none of that, yeah?" and gojo's gently tugging at your arm. trying to get you to stop muffling your whimpers and cries, because he just needs to hear your adorable sounds. and he needs to hear your bird-like cries when you come undone.
what a joy it is for gojo. to be able to dive between your legs and run his tongue between your folds. he's losing his mind at how your body trembles under his touch, and how he makes the mistake of peering up at you. your lips are parted, open and glossy. and your brows are furrowed, as lashes flutter against your cheek. you have to cum, gojo satoru needs you to cum right now.
and so, he exerts all his effort ten fold into having you finish. it's so sloppy, and so messy. gojo lets his own eyes dip shut, letting himself feel your glossy, glistening cunt pulse around his tongue. and let there be no doubt that gojo satoru is a munch, for he's eating you out in such an ardent manner, and it basically sends you barrelling towards a heart-stopping orgasm, where tears spring to the corners of your eyes.
you needn't have even tried to warn him of your impending climax, for gojo knows in the way that your legs quiver and get sloppier over his face. stars fall over your vision as you heave and toss your head back, muscles rippling as "satoru, satoru!" falls from your lips, long and drawn out as the rest of the world goes dark around you.
you gasp, struggling to inhale as the syrupy air is stolen from your lungs, all while gojo runs his tongue through your folds, head spinning with the dizzying rush of sensation. it's as if you've been swept away, hurtling towards space, weightless and disorientated.
only to crash back into reality as gojo seemingly hasn't stopped letting himself taste all of you, with not a drop of arousal wasted. your back is further pressed into the soft mattress beneath you, and the surge of overstimulated numbness follows, all pleasurable pins and needles and ferocious need.
"look at that, 'm already addicted," gojo coos, almost to himself, scooping a finger through the translucent gloss that leaks from your cunt. bringing it up to his mouth to wrap his tongue around, "think you can handle giving me another one?"
you let out a weak, breathless laugh. your gaze lingering on gojo's face, the soft moonlight that casts an ethereal glow on his features. his chin still faintly gleams, coated in your mirror-sheen and his lips are a plump, rosy red. you part your lips, propping yourself onto your elbows, but before you can form the words, the door slams open with a force that makes your ears rattle.
"i've looked in every fuckin' room in this house, and i swear to everything holy, satoru. if you chose my bedroom, i'm gonna â"
geto suguru's voice cuts off mid-rant, his words dissolving into a strangled, pained gasp as he takes in the sight before him. gojo, kneeling between your legs, wearing a ridiculously pleased grin. just like the cat who got the cream. you let out a squeak, hastily tugging your skirt over you, but it's hard to look innocent when gojo is still unabashedly pawing at your thighs.
geto pales, his jaw going slack, and he looks like he's about to collapse, "god help me. satoru, i'll kill you tomorrow," and then he shoots you both a nasty look, "and you're both paying for new sheets."
"so you and gojo are...dating now?" choso pries, with a tone that is entirely too casual but his eyes are keen. your twin is nursing a cup of coffee while he absolutely demolishes a plate of fried eggs. he had been quiet so far, but it's clear that curiosity gave out and now he's peering at you like a big owl.
you try, or do your very best not to smile too hard. to not look giddy and ridiculously pleased, "yeah, i guess we are," you admit, keeping your voice as level as possible.
choso blinks once, before setting his fork down and shaking his head, "i knew it. it was only a matter of time," he mutters, and without further ado, he resumes shovelling eggs into his mouth, utterly unfazed.
before you can respond, sukuna appears in the doorway, leaning lazily against the frame, his tattooed arms crossed and his expression dripping with disdainful amusement, "oh, i was there," he drawls, sharp fangs flashing in a wicked grin, "that loser pulled the dumbest, most dramatic stunt of all time. got on his knees and everything."
choso freezes mid-chew, raising a thick brow as he glances at the older man with mild interest, "wish i'd seen that," he mumbles through a mouthful of toast.
to your utter astonishment, sukuna nods gravely, his face taking on an uncharacteristically serious look, "yeah. i've got a video if you wanna watch."
your jaw drops as you glance between them, "this is officially the first time that i've ever seen you two agree on anything," setting your mug down with a thud, "if i had known that dating gojo would bring about world peace, i would have done it ages ago and â"
yuuji bounds into the kitchen like an overeager puppy, his blush-pink hair still a mess from interrupted sleep. but he's clapping his hands together like he's just won the lottery, "finally! look at that! everyone's getting along for once."
sukuna doesn't even bother to hide his irritation, shooting yuuji a withering glare. but it's hard to take him seriously when his own pink hair rivals yuuji's in sheer disarray, "don't push it," sukuna warns darkly, grabbing a glass of orange juice and downing it in one morose gulp. he slams the empty, cold glass on the counter before stalking off towards the door, "i'm seriously gonna move out at this rate."
"promise?" choso quips, without missing a bit, "wish you'd stop getting our hopes up and actually do it."
yuuji is undeterred, and he elbows you with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, "you have to invite gojo over all the time now. i like him a lot. he's like super cool."
"of course," you grin, sliding a plate towards him as he eagerly digs in.
and your younger brother beams like the sun itself. right as a mocking, high-pitched voice floats from the other room, "and then we're all gonna be lovesick, and skip around town while holding hands!" right before falling back into sukuna's usual gruff tone that echoes through the kitchen, "god, you're all so insufferable."
your phone buzzes on the table, and you glance down. gojo's contact photo lights up the screen. it's a snapshot from a year or two ago, taken the summer that you both graduated high school. he's standing at the edge of the beach, with the sun dipping low enough behind to catch his white hair. turning it into a halo of glowing light. it's a photo that you never had the heart to change.
satoru đȘ
good morning princess!! my one and only!!!! my sugar plum (too much? i can tone it down but you just can't put a lid on love) hope you dreamed of me đââïž so what are you doing today because i've got abt eight possible things we can cover today starting with [read more.]
"ugh, gross."
sukuna's disdainful drawl cuts through behind you, as an icy finger prods at your phone, trying to scroll up and snoop through your messages. you freeze and slam your phone down on the table. whirling around to come face to face with the world's most judgemental gargoyle sneers at you, "i think i'm gonna throw up."
"get a life, holy fuck."
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru fluff#works#gojo#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#lmfao i was meant to post this 3 days agoooooo#daphworks
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A few things i found about our Scarabia MC! (In a mainly JP server players group so im writing as how i see it)
Spoilers ahead!!
Her name is Oujou Yuuna (or Yuuna Oujou if you're not asian), she's 16
Refer to herself as aashi (ăăŒă), possibly a cuter way to say atashi (ăăă)
Her family are rice farmers
Her dream is to become a gyaru model for magazines
[EDITED] Got isekai-ed while preparing her trip to Tokyo for the gyaru model audition
Selfies for life (cater's potential bestie :0??)
Also the way she call the Heartslabyul gang (in JP pronunciation lol):
Grim: Guririn
Ace: Essun
Deuce: Deussun
Trey: Torepai
Cater: Keiti
LIKE THAT'S SO CUTE I LOVE HER??? đđ
#irene talks â§#twst#twst spoilers#twst manga#scarabia#episode of scarabia#twst mc#twst yuu#im so normal about her ^-^#EDIT: MY BAD GUYS I MADE SOME MISTAKES ABT HER SITUATION BEFORE ISEKAI-ED đđ
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project bridgerton!geto
Hellooo :)
As you may have heard - i plan on making a bridgerton!geto au with @fushitoru âs (aashiâs) permission.
After reading âthe season of thorned rosesâ and catching just the slightest idea of suguru geto being a part of higher society, my mind went almost berserk - probably as much as all of yours :))
Quick side note: tbh this is my first time writing in a long time and my actual first time publishing my work so please bear with me, the start will definitely be a little rusty!
Aside from that i am looking forward to this adventure. I hope I wonât disappoint and if i do - please donât be shy to hit me up regarding that. Feedback and ideas are always deeply welcomed and appreciated!
Now for the important part; I plan on dropping a tiny sneak peak of whatâs to come tomorrow at 3pm CET. The actual first chapter will hopefully be finished towards the weekend!
Iâm really excited and thankful for this opportunity.
Much love - avaults (anna) đ«¶đ»
#avaults recommends#avaults announces#avaults writes#avaults yaps#jjk fanfic#jjk#jjk ff#jujutsu kaisen#jjk series#geto suguru#geto#geto fanfic#jjk geto#geto x reader
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i see a lot of frat gojo lately and im sorry none of these girls can be kickoff!gojo
in general no one can write gojo like you the way you write him scratches an itch in my brain ellie ilysm
every time i come across an infantilized gojo something in me dies but then heals anytime you post queen
AHHHH aashi bb iâll cry like actually ahhaha
thank youuu đđâ€ïžâ€ïž lmfao yes pls kill the infantalized gojo trope or imma go insane. ALSO YOURE ONE TO TALK congrats on all the success w your fics my love you deserve every ounce of it <333
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Hii hii hii omg I'm totally late but I wish you a very happy b'day. Your writing brings orgasm to each wanting...person (I was supposed to say lady but there are other genders who enjoy your work) but you get the point. Anyways I love you and your writing /platonic and wish you the very best in life
HI ANON im late as balls but thank you sm đ€”ââïžđ ! ! ! im sincerely glad that you enjoy my silly work that means so much :â))) hehe i understand! i loveeee you too you beautiful person, i wish you nothing but happiness in life also. happy holidays!
( asks i missed earlier đ)









LOLLL ITS FINE. thank you, kind squirter đ«Ą. no worries !!! im just glad youâre here donât worry about not knowing what to say hehe. TOJI âŠ.. YES. I FULLY UNDERSTAND. THANKYOU AGAIN MWAH
thank you, sealie baby. đ«Šmy day was good! this hangover is beating my fucking ASS but we shall be alright !!!! im ab to call it a night in about a hour tho to sleep it off. i loveuuuu too mwahmwah xxx
THANKYOY AASHI GRAHHHH
thank you dearest wife đââïžđââïž. whereâs my present </3 also i cooked for you again, it isnât poisoned like SOMEONE did last time. and oh⊠that. well! thatâll probably charge you, sorry ;)
THANKYOU SO MUCHHHH WOAH WHAT. i appreciate u tons for reading my work my luv :((( that warms my heart a ton, ahhhh thankyou for ur kindness. have a good rest of your day, âkay?
AAAA THANKYOY đ€„NONNIE!!! also if youâre new, welcome !!!!! and happy birthday to ur mum ! hope she has the bestest day
KITTY THANKYOUUUUU gojo n nanami omg, iâll take em off ur hands ur so kind đââïžđââïžđââïžđđđ
omg demon THANK YOUUU :(((( youuuu are the sweetest, this means so much. hehehe thatâs right, screamiest of the pies BAYBEEEEE. im lactose so i unfortunately cannot eat cake but heh ill eat tojiâs ass instead as a substitute <3 (who said that) THANKYOUUU THOOOOO ILY. and oooh iâll look at this link rn :3
hihi lizard thank u sm đ„°đ„° !!!! i hope you have a good day too, youâre amazing always remember that and mwaaaaah ily2
#â°ăĘ Ś
àŁȘ asks.#đ§#đ€„anon#đčanon#đŠanon#đœanon#đŠanon#im rly behind i apologize đ«Ą i was in my surfer girlie era omg#if i didnât answer u iâll try to get it tmrw#almost drowned but we ball guysssss#LOVEU ALL SMMMM MWAH MWAH
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this reminded me of u LMAO

I'M SCREAAAAMINGGGGG đ
LMFAO! CLOCK MEEEE AASHI! đđ
Especially cause I was writing Nanami smut in my Global Business Class last night. đ©
#àłàŒđââ· đđŸđđđ¶đĐŒÎ±Îčâ#àłđââ·đđŸđđđ¶đαηÏηŃ#no cause the way i had to dim my screen#lol and i got to class early so i was typin away and my friend came up like âwatcha working onâ and i was like oh just stuffffffffff dihekc
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worth the wait a nerdjo fic



pairing âžș nerd/academic rival/rich boy!gojo x reader
summary âžș you abhor your academic rival, satoru gojo. he's a cocky asshole that you fight with constantly for the spot at first place. but when you finally discover what's underneath all those lame sweaters of his with a once in a blue moon visit at the gym (spoiler alert: he's not a scrawny nerd), you'll be fighting your severe attraction to the man who makes your life a bit harder. and maybe fall in love with him, too, in the process.
warnings âžș smut, f recieving oral, praise, he makes you beg for it lol, p i v sex, making out, angst if you squint, a lot of fluff, college AU, nerd!gojo, reader gets insecure sometimes and is treated horribly by her discord mod TA/research advisor, typical misogyny/sexism in STEM fields, but gojo defends her!!!, sleeper build gojo with a happy trail because im a slut, the good old pining and yearning i like. art by @/deltapork
a/n thank u to all my beta readers for editing part of this for me :3 happy valentines day!!!
general masterlist
You blink at your paper.
98.
You suppose you should be happyâitâs a graduate level physics class, anyways. For a moment, you stare at the red markings of the TA that graded it, as if willing an error in the one problem you made a mistake on could make it go away.
2+2=5.
You exhaled sharply, almost fighting back tears. Youâd think you could avoid simple arithmetic mistakes, but apparently doing tensor products comes easier than simple addition to you. Shoving your backpack on your chair, you stuff in your laptop and the test haphazardly, not caring that itâs going to get messed and crumpled up in your backpack after your folders and binders jostle around. Fuck that test.
You wouldnât normally act as if the test had personally wronged youâtrust, you were not going to get that heated were it any class. But because of this one class, one person, you knew it was coming. The inevitable.
"Better luck next time." The voice, drenched in smug satisfaction, slithered through the air behind you, his voice and demeanor like a slimy, slimy snake.
Your jaw tightened, but you forced yourself to remain calm as you turned around. And there he wasâGojo Satoru, the bane of your existence, a plague upon your academic record, a walking, talking statistical anomaly who somehow managed to be both infuriatingly brilliant and aggressively insufferable.
He leaned against the desk beside yours, glasses sliding down just enough to reveal the glint of those ridiculously blue eyes. He crosses his arms while theyâre covered in that ridiculous, ugly sweater heâs wearingâheâs probably going for the old money aesthetic, but he doesnât need to know he gives off more âfinance bro that helps billionaires evade taxes,â or whatever finance bros do.
âI have no clue what youâre talking about,â you sniff, pretending to act nonchalant while you grab your backpack, swinging it roughly on your shoulder like it was the weight of your grievances against him.
"The test." Gojo unfolded a crisp sheet of paper with the kind of theatrical flourish reserved for revealing royal decrees. A perfect 100, circled in bold red ink.
Your stomach twisted. This is what those two points meant. Two stupid, meaningless, soul-crushing, rage-inducing points.
"Guess that makes it⊠what, five to three this semester?" He tapped his chin, pretending to count, as if the score wasnât already seared into your brain like an irreversible branding. "My lead, obviously. But hey, if you ever need tutoring, I could always squeeze you in."
You bite the inside of your cheek in frustration. âI wouldnât want to impose on the time for any of your hobbies. After all, when will you get the time to watch anime? My 5000 Year Old Girlfriend is Stuck in a Twelve Year Oldâs Body, was it?â
He presses a hand to his chest in mock hurt, as if your words had truly pierced him through his chest. âTut, tut. After all this time, Iâd think youâd have my anime preferences memorized since youâre so obsessed with me. Itâs Digimon, not whatever pedophilic shit you think I jerk off too.â He pauses, and then his voice drops into a conspiratorial whisper. âBut you know Fred, the grad student TA that holds recitation every Wednesday? I just know heâs probably a Discord mod of a server that sends, like, daily tentacle porn. I wouldnât be surprised if heâs on the Megan's law registry either.â
Now, you have to hold back your smile because Gojo has a point. Fred is not just any TA. Fred is the grad student that mentors you on a research project; the programâs super selective, so when you realized you got him, you couldnât just back out and give up the opportunity. However, Fred isnât just a weirdâ-heâs sooo handsy with his greasy ass hands, so you accept any and all Fred slander. Because heâs your research advisor, you canât wait to finish the project any faster. He probably would be into underage girls, but you donât need to express your approval to Gojo, or worst of all, let him think heâs funny. God knows that would get into his head. âYea, yea. Whatever. Anyways, I hope you have fun with your Pokemonââ
âDigimon.â
ââor whatever. Iâm leaving. Some of us have things to do. Later, Gojo.â
You turned on your heel, lest Gojo hook you in with another taunt.
Maybe you needed to blow off some steam, if youâre allowing yourself to lose to Gojo.
Worst of all, itâs become a streak, like two times in a rowâone on this quiz, and the other on the midterm a few weeks back. Your mind goes back to the last women in STEM recruiting event you had went to, and, how, in the middle of taking a bite of the delicious margherita pizza they offered, you registered that the woman in the panel had insisted that what helped her power through her PhD and dickwad supervisors was by exercising. Her fervor over pilates could almost qualify as a cult pitch, but it made you pause at the moment. Before you continued to further engorge yourself on the food offered on the charcuterie board.
But maybe it was time to hone your focus in, and some sweaty endorphins might help you get just that.
Youâre not really surprised the demographic at your universityâs gym looks like the way it does. After all, not only was it renowned for its academics (from all the nepo babies like Gojo whose families donated buildings and had like four generations of alumnus), but it was also a Division I school. So not only was the gym packed but it was packed with men.
As you walked in the hallway towards the room that contained weight machines, gym bag slung over your shoulder, you eyed the glistening backs of the (D1, mind you) menâs swim team through the glass that separated your path and the swimming pool.
Wow, those Speedos really hugged their asses. You imagined Gojo in one, and almost snorted. Rich boy nerd Satoru definitely didnât learn how to swim; his familyâs mansion probably had a twenty year old personal lifeguard that Gojo lost his virginity to, or something. Regardless, he would squint in his silly swim goggles, the exact antithesis of sex appeal while his glow-in-the-dark eyes lit up the pool while he stroked, cheeks puffed like a pufferfish.
Regardless, the smell of testosterone that hits you when you enter the weight area is almost nauseating, and, if youâre honest, a little intimidating. Youâre not exactly the fittest of people, so you quickly speed walk past the grunting and sweaty men at the squat machines and barbells, avoiding eye contact and praying furiously that none of them perceive you.
When you reach the dumbbell stands, you hunch over, taking random light weights. Then, you pretend you know what youâre doing while jumping every so slightly whenever anyone comes in six foot distance of you. Itâs only when another girl comes in to grab a weight (and when she bends over, you definitely ogle her ass in a way that would get you slapped if you were a man) that your gaze removes itself from where it was focused on the 2.5 lb dumbbell you were previously bicep curling with. To see him.
The glint of ivory hair is unmistakableâyouâve basically gotten off to the fantasy of razoring it off in his sleep. His blue eyes are bored, pretty boy face framed in glasses. Now, heâs giving teenage boy turned to Andrew Tate after a breakup. Black sweatshirt and sweatpants that are too small, because they cling to his legs in a form-defining way. Heâs walking over, hands in his pockets, to a barbell station. Slaps some guys on the shoulder as he goes through, gets a lot of daps.
Which is weird to you, because you only the Gojo inside your physics class, not outside. Heâs a fucking nerdâa loser that spends his time beefing with you, so why is he so popular when he gives you the time of day?
There are three dimensions to gaining alpha status, or whatever they call male popularity. You have to be 1) rich, 2) really physically fit, or 3) just really charismatic. Considering that Gojoâin all his clothingâ-looks like a twink moreso than ripped gym bro, itâs definitely not dimension two. So you conclude that itâs because heâs rich and probably throws yacht parties so these ripped guys donât push him into a locker, or something.
When he finally reaches his destination, you smirk to yourself. With that scrawny build underneath all those loose sweaters, you know heâs only going to be able to lift the bar, no plates. After all, he was warming up. insulting Gojo in countless of ways by taking jabs at his physique mentally, so you barely register that heâs grabbing for the hem of his sweatshirt, peeling it upâ
To reveal his bare torso.
Your first thought: Wow, he has huge bazonkas.
That has easily got to be one of the most built physiques youâve seen at your college so far. His pectorals basically pop out out of his torso as he moves to grab plates. First, he grabs a really big plateâyouâre not a gym expert, so you wouldnât know the weightâand stacks it. And stacks another. And another. And another, until youâre sure itâs definitely more than your bodyweight.
As youâre staring at him in awe, your 2.5 lb dumbbells hang limply by your sides, abandoning all pretense of training to openly gawk at the clench of his biceps, the sweat rolling down his temple, and the set of his jaw as he stares holes into the bar. And by the way thereâs heat creeping up your cheeks you realize one thing:
Youâre screwed.
âYou know what?â
You keep your eyes on your notes firmly, refusing to look at Gojo sitting right next to you. You donât know why he always chooses to sit next to you on recitation, reallyâitâs not like youâre receptive to his company. After all, he could be doing other thingsâlike metaphorically sucking a TAâs dick by talking about their research, where Gojo probably knows more about the TAâs research than they do themselves.
From your periphery, you notice Gojo pouting, then scooting his chair (dragging it, so it makes a god awful screeching noise against the floor tiles that has you cringing) until heâs so close that he slings an arm on the back of your chair and leans in closer and closer. Youâre fighting to keep your eyes on your notes, face heating up traitorously until you feel his breath fan across your neck because heâs just so close.
âRude, ignoring me. Look where that got you.â He then points to a problem on your paper, one you were currently working on. âYouâre doing that wrong.â
You finally turn to glare at him, but heâs closer than you anticipated, his face just inches from yours. His grin is all sharp edges and knowing amusement, and it makes your stomach flip in a way you refuse to acknowledge.
âIâm not doing it wrong,â you argue, despite the creeping suspicion that, okay, maybe you did mess up somewhere.
âOh, really?â Gojo drawls, tilting his head slightly. âThen why is your integral off by a factor of two?â
Your eyes snap back to your notes, scanning through the equationsâand, dammit, heâs right.
You huff, begrudgingly erasing the mistake. âWhatever.â
âYou know, you should really be thanking me,â Gojo muses, still leaning way too close for comfort. âIf I werenât here, who knows how many mistakes youâd make?â
âSheâd have me,â comes a greasy voice, and you have to fight the tears in your eyes that arise when Fred (the aforementioned pedophilic TA and your research advisor) comes, his moldy cheese stench following him as he takes a seat from across you and Gojo. You grudgingly turn your face away from where it was so close to Gojoâs to look at him and sigh inwardly. At least Gojoâs face was prettier to look at.
âHi, Fred,â you smile tightly, willing him to go away. âWeâre good here, so you can help out other studentsââ
âHow was your weekend?â He instead replies, and you wince. Stealing a quick glance at Gojo, it seems that his jaw and posture are uncharacteristically tense.
âLot of work for the class and for, uh, our research,â you respond, nodding and averting your gaze to your paper and feigning working on a problem so that he would get the hint.
Fred, unfortunately, does not get the hint. Instead, he leans forward, elbows on the table, eyes too focused on you. âYou really ought to take breaks, you know. You can give me the code late. Someone as cute as you shouldnât stress so much. Youâll get wrinkles.â
Your fingers tighten around your pencil, your skin crawling at the way his tone veers into something too familiar, too patronizing. You open your mouth to give a clipped response, but Gojo beats you to it.
âOh? Didnât know you were an expert on skincare, Fred,â Gojo drawls, his voice deceptively light. His arm, which was still resting on the back of your chair, shifts just slightlyânot quite pulling you in, but making his presence more noticeable. âThough, if weâre giving out advice, maybe you should take your own. I mean, stress must be rough on you too, right? All those late nights grading papers, staring at screens. Takes a toll.â
Fred bristles, but Gojo just smiles lazily, pushing up his glasses as he tilts his head. âActually, you know what? Maybe we should all focus on our own business. Like, say, teaching, instead of weirdly hovering over students. Crazy thought, huh?â
You swear you see the muscle in Fredâs jaw twitch, but he forces out an awkward chuckle, shifting uncomfortably. âRight, right. Just looking out for her.â
âDonât worry,â Gojo interrupts smoothly, now fully leaning into your space, his arm draping a little lower behind your chair, âI think sheâs got plenty of people looking out for her already.â His voice is soft, but thereâs an undeniable edge beneath the words.
Fred lingers for a second too long, but finally, he mutters something about helping another student and stands, walking off with an air of forced nonchalance.
You let out a breath you hadnât realized you were holding, slumping slightly in your seat. Gojo hums beside you, his fingers tapping idly against the back of your chair.
âYouâre welcome, by the way,â he teases, but thereâs something in his tone thatâs softer than usual. He then makes a show of stretching, raising his arms. His sweater rides up a bit, exposing his lower abs and peeks of white that has you averting your gaze, the heat creeping up at his proximity once again. Then, his arm back on your chair. Weirdly, you find that you donât mind it.
You sigh, resigned. Youâll figure out these feelings later. âYeah. Thanks, Gojo.â
But you donât immediately go back to your work, because Gojo suddenly hunches down and whispers in your ear. âYea, I definitely saw an underage anime girl sticker on his laptop.â
Your responding snort is so loud everyone turns to look at you and Gojo, who is now sporting a mischievous and satisfied smile.
It starts with a single drop, fat and cold where it splats against your wrist. You glance up from your phone just in time to see the sky split open.
âShit,â you mutter, stuffing your phone into your bag. The library doors shut behind you with a heavy clang, sealing away the scent of old books and the quiet hum of studying students. Outside, the air is thick with the petrichor of freshly fallen rain, and within seconds, the pavement is slick, puddles forming in the uneven cracks of the sidewalk. The streetlights reflect off the wet ground, casting fragmented golden glows against the darkening sky. Youâd been studying to grind for the upcoming assignments; after all, to rival Gojo is a no small feat. Itâs just unfortunate it seems to take you thousand times more effort than it does for Gojo.
âGuess weâre stuck together, huh?â
You donât have to turn to know who it is.
Satoru Gojo, standing beside you under the libraryâs narrow overhang, wearing that insufferable grin like heâs amused by the entire situation. Like the rain personally fell from the sky just to give him an opportunity to bother you.
âIâll take my chances,â you say flatly, shifting your bag on your shoulder. But as you peer past the downpour, your stomach sinks. The rain is merciless, an unrelenting sheet of water stretching as far as you can see. Thereâs no way youâre making it back to your dorm without looking like you took a fully clothed shower.
Gojo hums, pulling something out of his bag. You blink when he flicks open a half-broken umbrella, the metal ribs slightly bent like itâs barely holding itself together. He gives it a little shake, sending droplets flying, before glancing at you with a smirk.
âWell?â He lifts a brow. âWanna be smart about this?â
You do not want to be smart about this. You want to wait out the rain or make a break for it. But the storm shows no signs of letting up, and the thought of walking through it alone makes you hesitate.
Reluctantly, you sigh. âFine. But I get most of the cover.â
âHey, sharing is caring.â He tilts the umbrella slightly, just enough to make a point.
With great reluctance, you step closer. The moment you do, you regret it.
Gojo is warm. Even in the damp, chilled air, he radiates heat, standing so close that his sleeve brushes against yours. He smells good, tooâlike expensive laundry detergent with a faint undercurrent of something sweet, something distinctly him.
You swallow hard, forcing yourself to stare straight ahead as the two of you start walking. The rain pounds against the umbrella, droplets cascading off the edges, and with every step, youâre hyper-aware of the way Gojo moves beside youâloose-limbed, annoyingly graceful, a stark contrast to the crooked metal above your heads.
âMan, this thingâs on its last leg,â he muses, tilting the umbrella just slightly. Water dribbles off the side, landing directly onto your shoulder.
âGojo!â you yelp, recoiling as the cold soaks through your shirt.
âOops.â He does not sound remotely sorry.
You glare at him, but before you can snap back, he shrugs off his jacket andâwithout preambleâdrapes it over you.
You freeze.
Itâs warm, still carrying the heat of his body, and it smells so much like himâclean, sweet, dizzyingly familiar. Your brain short-circuits.
You force yourself to breathe, keeping your gaze firmly ahead. âYou didnât have to do that,â you say, voice tight.
âI wanted to.â
Something in his tone makes your stomach flip. You glance at him from the corner of your eye, andâ
Damn him. Damn him.
Water drips from his bangs, clinging to the sharp edges of his jawline, sliding down the curve of his throat. His shirt sticks to his skin, fabric clinging in a way that reveals the toned lines of his arms, the broad plane of his chest. Heâs watching the rain, the usual teasing glint in his eyes softened into something contemplative.
You swear your eggs just recently got released, for you cannot help but avoid your ever going attraction to Satoru Gojo except the age-old excuse: ovulation. Your mind wanders to how his arms would feel around your head, to lay on his chest, how heâd be able to manhandle you, force you to take itâ
But youâre snapped out of your inappropriate thoughts by what he says next.
âYou know,â he says, voice quieter now, âI like this. Just us, no grades, no competing.â
You pause.
He says it so simply, so easily, like itâs nothing at all. But the words settle deep, curling somewhere warm inside you, and you donât know what to do with them.
So you do what you do best: you shove them away, bury them beneath years of rivalry, of late-night study sessions fueled by caffeine and stubbornness, of sharp words and sharper glances.
You roll your eyes, forcing a scoff. âDonât get used to it.â
But even as you say it, your fingers curl into the fabric of his jacket, holding it a little tighter.
Itâs been a week since you saw Gojo. He had dropped you at your dorm in a surprisingly gentlemanly way, and you had insisted on returning the jacket only after washing it, to be courteous. What you didnât mention was how you kept repeatedly smelling it in your dorm whenever you got a reprieve from your roommateâs eyes because Gojo smelled like expensive cologne and he did one thing most nerds / physics majors donât do: shower. This fact, unfortunately, made you more attracted to him because the bar is truly in hell.
Youâve concluded that theseâŠfeelings canât hurt you and that it isnât real, like a beefy and shirtless Gojo-looking demon thatâll jump and surprise you from under your bed. So you move on your life, caught in the ever perpetual slog of studying and researching.
Thus, you find yourself at the library once more.
The night hums low around you, quiet except for the occasional shuffle of paper and the distant hum of the libraryâs espresso machine (only librarians could use it, however. you fervently thought that was a form of elitism, but you digress). Youâre at the corner table, the one by the window, where the dim light pools just enough to illuminate your notes but not enough to make you feel like youâre being studied under a microscope. You think youâre aloneâuntil you arenât.
You donât have to look up to know itâs him.
Satoru Gojo is hard to miss, even when heâs not trying. He slides into the chair across from you with the kind of ease that makes it seem like he belongs there, like he was always going to end up sitting across from you tonight. His hair is tousled, white strands falling forward in a way that makes him look softer under the warm light. His glasses are perched low on his nose, a rare sight given that he usually has them pushed up like some kind of pretentious scholar.
The two of you donât speak.
Itâs surprising, really. Gojo never runs out of things to say, whether itâs an obnoxious quip or some unnecessarily insightful observation that makes you want to throw your textbook at his face. But tonight, he just pulls out his own notes, taps his pen against the edge of his lips, and starts reading.
You should focus on your own studying, but something about thisâthis silence, this late-night haze, this tiny moment carved out of timeâmakes your mind wander. You steal glances when you think he wonât notice. His brows furrow when heâs concentrating, his jaw tightens when heâs stuck on something, and when he exhales, itâs this slow, measured thing, like heâs trying not to get frustrated. Heâs justâ
Heâs just really there.
Youâve spent years defining Gojo as your rival. Your competition. The person standing in your way at every academic milestone. And yet, somehow, somewhere, heâs slipped into something else, something harder to define. Because youâve seen him like this beforeâwhen heâs so focused that he forgets the world around him, when he bites his lip in thought, when he gets so caught up in something that he mutters under his breath without realizing it. And for the first time, it dawns on you: you donât actually hate it.
You donât hate this comfortable silence. This moment of peace, a white flag waving lazily between you both.
The hours blur. The cafĂ© starts to empty. Your notes turn into background noise. Itâs late, and the warmth from inside lulls you into something dangerously close to comfort.
A soft sound breaks through the quiet.
You glance up and freeze.
Gojoâs head has tilted to the side, his glasses slipping slightly down the bridge of his nose. His hand is curled loosely around his pen, and his breathing has evened out. Heâs asleep.
For a moment, you donât move. You barely breathe.
Gojo, asleep, is not something youâve seen before. Heâs always in motion, always buzzing with energy, always running his mouth about something. But right now, heâs still. His long lashes cast faint shadows over his cheekbones, and the tension he always carriesâthe cocky bravado, the smirking sharpnessâis nowhere to be found. He just looks⊠peaceful.
Cutie.
What?
The thought slips in so quickly, so effortlessly, that it nearly makes you jolt. But when you look at him againâhead tilted just slightly, glasses slipping down his nose, breathing slow and evenâyou canât deny that the word fits. He looks like a lazy cat napping in a sunbeam, limbs loose, utterly unguarded. Itâs so unlike him that you find yourself staring, caught in the contrast.
Your fingers twitch. Before you can stop yourself, you reach forward, slow and hesitant, to push his glasses back up his nose. But you catch yourself just before you touch him, as if the warmth of his skin might burn. Your hand hovers in the air for a fraction of a second too long, and thenâ
You pull away.
Your heart is pounding. Itâs fine. Itâs nothing. You just need to get out of here.
You gather your things quietly, glancing back at him one last time before slipping out the door into the cool night air. The moment you step outside, you take a breath, deep and shaking. The world feels different now. You feel different now.
Because for the first time, it isnât just that you find Gojo attractive.
Itâs that you care.
And you donât know what the hell to do about it.
The gym, once again, smells like sweat and overpriced protein powder.
You donât know whatâs possessed you to come here today. Maybe itâs because you keep telling yourself that you need to exercise more, or maybe itâs because you need to take a break from studying before your brain melts. But deep down, if youâre really being honest with yourself, you know the real reason.
Gojo is here.
You spotted him the first time by accident. You were on the treadmill, barely jogging at a pace that wouldnât embarrass you, when you caught a flash of white hair across the gym floor. And there he wasâdressed in a fitted black sleeveless top and joggers, casually loading plates onto a barbell.
And he wasnât wearing his glasses.
It was a stupid, inconsequential detail, but it made all the difference. Without them, he didnât look like the annoying academic rival who constantly got under your skin, flashing his smug grin as he beat you in exams by the smallest possible margins. He looked⊠sharp. Unfiltered. Effortlessly attractive in a way that made your stomach tighten in ways you didnât like.
Youâd seen him in his regular clothes before, of course. You knew he had broad shoulders and long legs, that his body wasnât just a lanky frame hidden behind layers of sweaters. But here, in the gym, watching him roll his shoulders as he prepped for another setâit hit differently. He was lean but muscular, his arms flexing as he adjusted his grip on the bar, and for some godforsaken reason, you couldnât look away.
You shouldnât be watching him. You should be focusing on your own workout, pretending you donât care. But the way his shirt clung to his back, the way his forearms tensed, the way he exhaled sharply as he liftedâ
Youâre so screwed.
You force yourself to look away, grabbing the smallest dumbbells available and curling them in what has to be the weakest excuse for a workout imaginable. Youâre barely paying attention to what youâre doing, too busy sneaking glances at Gojo between sets. Itâs pathetic, but at least no one else is watching you.
Or so you think.
Because then she appears.
A girl.
Tall, toned, and effortlessly gorgeous, with sleek hair pulled into a high ponytail. She strides over to Gojo with a confidence you could never dream of and smiles at him, saying something that makes him laugh. Her ass is definitely bigger than yours, and sheâs in this coordinated, cute, pink set, looking like she walked straight out of a fitness TikTok. You canât hear what theyâre talking about over the sound of weights clanking and some obnoxious EDM song blasting through the speakers, but you can see it. The way she leans in, the way she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the way Gojoâ
âsmiles at her. That easy, lazy grin he always wears when heâs teasing you, except this time, it isnât for you.
Your grip tightens around the dumbbells, something ugly curling in your chest. It gets worse when she gestures toward the squat rack, and Gojo nods before moving behind her, hands hovering just slightly as she sets up for a squat. You watch as he spots her, one hand resting lightly on her lower back, close enough to correct her form but far enough to be polite. Heâs focused, watching her movements carefully, murmuring something that makes her laugh before she drops into another rep.
Your stomach twists.
This is stupid. You have no reason to be feeling this way.
Itâs then that it hits youâyou can have your silly little academic rival moments with Gojo, but, in the end, youâre just a footnote in his story, a fleeting challenge in a life where everything already belongs to him. He quite literally has generational wealth; heâs not going to spend his life buried in grant applications or clawing for recognition in a field that demands twice the effort for half the reward. Heâll be the one funding the research, sitting at the head of the table, making decisions that shape the future. And you? Youâll be one of the many who struggle just to be in the same room.
Heâs the guy who spends his vacations on yachts or private islandsânot just surrounded by wealth, but by people who belong there. Girls who glide through life with the same effortless ease as him, girls who donât second-guess if they deserve to be in the spaces they occupy. Girls who donât have to fight for their place at the table because it was always set for them.
Girls that are his equalâequally attractive, equally smart, equally rich.
Not you.
You swallow hard, forcing yourself to look away, but the image is burned into your mind. The easy way he talks to her. The way she tilts her head when she listens. The way he doesnât even know youâre here.
You shouldnât care. You shouldnât care. You shouldnât care.
But you do.
You grip the dumbbells tighter, exhaling sharply. Then you put them back, pick up your water bottle, and walk out of the gym before you do something stupid.
The office is too small. Too suffocating. Too filled with the weight of unspoken words and the sharp-edged smile of Fred, the TA, as he leans back in his chair and laces his fingers together.
"You know," he begins, voice sickly sweet, "I really expected more from you."
You sit stiffly in the chair across from him, your hands curled into fists in your lap, nails digging crescents into your skin. Your heart pounds, but your face remains carefully neutral. You've been called into his office under the guise of "academic guidance," but you know better. You always know better.
"I don't know what you mean," you say, keeping your voice even.
Fred exhales dramatically, shaking his head. "Come on. You and I both know you're barely keeping up in this project of ours."
You grit your teeth. You're not barely keeping up. You're giving him your work at the highest level, at its best. But FredâFred has always had a way of twisting things, making you feel small, insignificant, like your achievements are nothing more than accidents.
âI think my progress speaks for itself,â you respond tightly. Mind you, while he was supposed to be your mentor, youâve done 80% of the work.
But you think Gojoâs defense of you ran deep into Fredâs heart because by the way heâs sleazily smirking at you, you know heâs trying to get back at you.
He smirks. "Your progress? Sure, youâre smart. But you think thatâs enough? You think anyoneâs going to care about a girl like you when there are people out there who donât have to struggle to be exceptional?" He leans forward, voice dropping into something conspiratorial. "Youâre wasting your time. The best you can hope for is being someoneâs assistant. Maybe a glorified research grunt if youâre lucky. Just like for me."
Your stomach twists. You shouldnât care. You know you shouldnât care. But the words burrow deep, hitting a place inside you that already doubts, that already wonders if youâre nothing more than a temporary obstacle in a world built for people like Gojo Satoruâpeople born brilliant, born wealthy, born effortless.
Fredâs eyes flick over you, assessing, smug. "Youâre working yourself to the bone for what? Youâll never be at the top. Not really."
The bitterness of the situation really dawns on youâGojoâs the one who took a jab at Fred last week, not you. But youâre the one whoâs left to deal with its consequences. Youâre not going to assign blame and lament that itâs not Gojo in this office dealing with him. It was in your defense, after all.
But Fredâs words remind you. Youâll never be at the top. At Gojoâs level, whoâs at the top without even seeming to put in effort.
Youâll never be his equal.
You stand abruptly, shoving your chair back so hard it scrapes against the floor. "If thatâs all, I have work to do."
Fred chuckles, leaning back, clearly pleased with himself. "Sure, sure. Donât say I never tried to give you advice."
You donât respond. You just walk out, gripping your bag so tightly your knuckles turn white, the echo of his words following you down the hall, settling in your bones like lead.
The hallway is too bright. Too loud. Too full of people who donât know that youâre on the verge of crumpling in on yourself like a dying star.
Your breath feels too shallow, too quick, and thereâs a weight pressing down on your chest that no amount of rationalizing can shake off. Itâs not even your meeting with Fredâjust a slow accumulation of stress and exhaustion and frustration thatâs settled deep in your bones. A grade lower than expected, an upcoming deadline youâre nowhere near prepared for, a general sense of drowning no matter how hard you try to keep up. Itâs all too much, and your hands are starting to shake from how tightly youâre gripping the strap of your bag.
You just need to get out of here. You need air, space, something.
But, of course, the universe has a cruel sense of humor, because when you round the corner, you slam straight into Satoru Gojo.
âWhoaââ
Your balance is already precarious from the way you were rushing, and the impact sends you stumbling. For a split second, you think you might actually fallâyour ankle twists awkwardly, the world tiltsâand then thereâs a strong hand gripping your wrist, another bracing against your back, steadying you before you can hit the ground.
You donât process what happens immediately. Your mind is still stuck on too much, too fast, canât breathe, and it takes you a second to realize that Gojo is holding you upright, his hands firm but careful, his expression hovering somewhere between amusement and concern.
âJeez, whatâs the rush?â he teases, but his voice lacks its usual careless lilt. Heâs searching your face now, eyes narrowing behind his glasses, and thatâs when you realize: you must look as bad as you feel.
Shit.
You jerk away from him, a little too fast, a little too sharp. âIâm fine.â
Gojo doesnât look convinced. âYou sure? Because it kinda seemed like you were about to pass out on the spot.â
âI said Iâm fine.â You adjust your bag over your shoulder, shifting your weight onto your other foot, ignoring the faint throb in your ankle. âGo bother someone else.â
Most of the time, thatâs enough to send him off with an exaggerated sigh and a smirk. But not today.
Today, Gojo just stands there, watching you like heâs trying to piece something togetherâlike youâre a problem he wants to solve. He doesnât press, not yet, but the silence stretches, and itâs unbearable, because you can feel the weight of his gaze, and you donât want to be seen like this. Not by him.
So you give him a tight nod in dismissal, and walk away.
Thereâs a knock at your door. You frown because you didnât expect any visitors, and youâre in your sleepwear. Regardless, you pad your way lazily and open the door.
To see Gojo.
What the fuck.
Heâs drenched in the glow of the hallway light, looking entirely too at home despite standing on your threshold. His hair is still slightly damp from the rain, white strands falling over his forehead in careless disarray. Heâs not wearing his glasses.
"Why are you here?" you demand, gripping the doorframe, willing your voice to stay steady.
He quirks an eyebrow, tilting his head just slightly. âYouâre holding my jacket hostage.â
Oh. Right.
You make your way to your wardrobe, where the now-cleaned jacket hangs neatly on a hanger. Grabbing it, you hand it over to Gojo, whoâs standing at your threshold while eyeing the insides of your dorm, as if trying to take in what your living space looks like. You shove it into his chest, stepping back like the heat of it burns. "Here."
Gojo takes it, but instead of leaving like a normal person, he lingers, running his fingers over the material like heâs checking for something. Then,, he lifts a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it in that way that only makes his biceps flex, his lean muscles shifting beneath his shirt. You hate that you notice.
A beat passes.
"You know," he muses, far too casually, "you seemed a little disheveled back there."
Your stomach twists. "It's not a big dealâ"
"âBullshit." His voice cuts through yours, sharp and immediate. He shifts, stepping just the tiniest bit closer, his tone losing its usual teasing lilt. âYouâre lying. I saw what you looked like. What happened?â
âIt's none of your business,â you say, stiffening. âNor is it a big deal, really.â
Gojo exhales, something heavy in the sound. His eyes donât leave yours, and for once, they arenât filled with their usual mirth or mischief. Just something searching, something that makes your chest ache in a way you donât have the strength to deal with right now.
"You always do that," he says, softer now, but no less intense. âAct like no oneâs supposed to care. Like youâre carrying the world alone.â
Your fingers curl into your palms. Your lips press together. You donât want to hear this. You donât want to acknowledge the way his words settle too close to the truth.
And then, quietly, Gojo asks, âDo you not consider me your equal?â
You swallow.
Your silence must be enough of an answer because something shifts in his expression. It isnât anger exactly, but itâs something closeâsomething bitter and disappointed and aching all at once.
"Youâre the one who shuts me out, you know." His voice is sharp now, edged with frustration. "You act like I'm the one keeping you at a distance, but every time I try to get close, you push me away."
Your throat tightens. âWhy do you even care?â
Gojo lets out a breath, his head tilting just slightly, eyes scanning your face like youâre something heâs trying to figure out. Then he laughs, quiet and humorless.
âYou really donât know?â
âIââ Your voice wavers. âWhat do you meanââ
âFor a girl so smart, you sure do act stupid.â He steps forward then, closing the space between you just enough to make you want to back away, but your feet donât move. His voice drops lower. "Do you think I talk to you because I give a fuck about physics?"
Your brain short-circuits. âWhatââ
He groans, dragging a hand through his hair, frustrated. âI give zero fucks about the class or any class, trust me. I have better things to do than to try to aim for 100s on every test."
Your heart is pounding now, too loud, too fast. âThen whyââ
"God," he exhales, tipping his head back, like he's debating whether or not he should even say it. Then, after a beat, he looks at you again, and whatever is in his eyes makes your stomach flip, makes your breath hitch.
Something in your chest lurches, but before you can even process it, he huffs a laughâlike heâs just remembered something ridiculous.
"You didnât even look my way the first week," he says, eyes flicking over your face, searching. "I could tell you only cared about anyone that could challenge you. Like, it wasnât even until I did better than you on the second midterm that you even talked to me."
You open your mouth, then close it, heat prickling at the back of your neck. Becauseâyeah. Heâs not wrong. You had ignored him, dismissed him as just another overconfident rich kid who thought he was smarter than he was. It wasnât until he proved himself, until he became a real obstacle in your path, that you bothered to acknowledge him.
Gojo smiles, but itâs not cocky this timeâitâs small, almost rueful. "And then you looked at me like I was finally real. Like I existed."
Your breath hitches.
He shrugs, eyes dropping for a brief second before snapping back up to yours. "So, yeah. Maybe I started trying harder. Maybe I cared about all those stupid tests because it meant I got to see that fire in your eyes, that I got to be the one you were pushing against." He rubs the back of his neck, his biceps flexing in a way that would usually annoy you, but right now, youâre too busy trying to remember how to breathe.
Gojo stares at you for a long moment, gaze unwavering, like heâs daring you to say somethingâanything.
Your chest feels too tight, your pulse erratic, and you donât know what to do with the way Gojo is looking at youâlike youâre something precious, something worth holding onto.
But heâs wrong. He has to be wrong.
âYou canât like me,â you whisper.
Gojo frowns, expression shifting. âWhat?â
Your throat clenches, and before you can stop it, heat pricks at your eyes, blurring your vision. âYou canât like me,â you say again, voice cracking. âI canât even match you.â
Gojo's face slackens, his teasing demeanor completely gone.
"You do everything so effortlessly," you force out, your fists clenching at your sides. "Itâs so infuriating." A shaky breath escapes you, and you shake your head, looking down. âSo why would you even want this? You make me feel this way, and IâI hate you for it.â
For a second, thereâs only silence.
Then, Gojo exhales softly.
âIs that what you think?â His voice is so gentle it makes something inside you ache.
You donât answer. You canât.
Gojo shifts, stepping forward slowly, carefully, like youâre something fragile. And thenâthen he reaches out, his fingers ghosting along your wrist before curling around it, grounding you. âItâs not effortless,â he murmurs. âI try so hard. You just donât see it because I donât want you to.â
"You really donât get it, do you?" His voice is quieter now, something dangerously close to vulnerable. His fingers twitch at his sides. "I care because itâs you."
You shake your head, still not understanding, still unable to believe it.
Gojo watches you for a moment, then exhales, running a hand through his hair. âYou act like I just woke up one day and decided to like you.â He huffs a quiet laugh, but thereâs no real amusement in it. âDo you know how long Iâve been stuck on you? How infuriating it was, realizing that no matter how much attention I got, the only person I wanted it from was too busy treating me like an obstacle?â
Your breath catches.
âI tried everything,â he continues, voice rougher now. âTeasing you, annoying you, beating you in tests, losing to you in tests. It didnât matter what I did, because youââ He breaks off, shaking his head. âYou only saw me when I gave you a reason to compete.â
Your fingers tremble slightly at your sides. You donât know what to say, donât even know what you can say.
And suddenly, everythingâthe teasing, the constant pestering, the way he always had to be around youâit all clicks into place.
Your heart hammers in your chest, and before you can second-guess it, before you can even think, you surge forward and kiss him.
Itâs a mess of a kissâtoo rushed, too desperate, all clashing teeth and uneven breathsâbut Gojo groans softly against your lips, like heâs been waiting for this. His hands are on you immediately, one slipping around your waist, the other cradling the back of your head as he presses you flush against him.
Youâre dizzy. Overwhelmed. But itâs good. Itâs him, and you donât want to stop.
When you finally pull away, breathless and unsteady, Gojo is grinning, his lips slightly swollen.
âWorth the wait,â he murmurs, eyes shining.
You avert your gaze, fully blushing now. âBut Iââ You take a look at him, then hide your face in your hands. âIâm a stalker.â
âMaybe Iâm into that.â
âNo,â you bemoan. âIâve stalked you at the gym, and Iââ Your voice drops into a shameful whisper. âYou were good. Like, stupidly good. Like, making everyone stare at you good.â
His lips twitch. âYou were staring too, huh?â
You glare at him, but he just grins, all teeth, clearly eating this up.
âI hated it,â you insist, heat prickling at the back of your neck. âI hated that youâre already smarter than me, that you already have all these advantages, and thenâand then you also have that? Like, itâs just unfair. Youâre unfair.â
Gojo is silent for a second, and you think youâve screwed up, but then exhales a sharp laugh, shaking his head. âYou are so cute.â
âStop it!â you whine, but you donât protest when he pulls you closer and locks your lips with his another time. You clutch the front of his shirt, drag your hands on his chest, his arms, everywhere. Then, you guide his to firmly clutch your ass, to which he freezes.
âWe can stop here. We donât have to do anymore than this, andââ
But you interrupt him, slamming your lips against his once more. Grabbing him by the shoulder you pull him into your room and slam the door behind you, pushing him against the door. âFuck no.â
He laughs breathlessly, then continues to switch your position, now you against the door. âThank god. Now, jump.â
You do, and you almost moan at how easily he grabs you in his arms, your legs straddling him. Itâs like you weigh nothing to him as he carries you over to your bed and manhandles you into it, following not long after.
When he gets on top of you, he maintains eye contact as he pulls your shirt over your head, trailing kisses down to your neck, the valley of your breasts (but not before giving each of the girls their own tender kiss), and your stomach. With his eyes boring into you, he slowly, teasingly drags the pants you were wearing down your legs until youâre just in your panties.
You let out a noise, and he coos. âI know, I know, baby.â He gives you a gentle kiss on the top of your mound, and you clench, squirming from the contact. âLet me take my time, though.â
He gently, but firmly, lays a hand on your hip as he starts licking the crotch of your panties. Itâs truly maddeningâthe sensation is there, but you oh so wish his skilled tongue was meeting your skin, bare and electric.
Heâs taking his time laving, ravishing your taste, but youâve had enough. âGojo, please,â you sob, throwing your head back and grinding further into his tongue, which he welcomes. âStop teasing.â
âMmmm,â he pretends to think, all while focused and looking only at your crotch, now rubbing your clit in small, miniscule circles. âI can, but,â and now heâs just mocking you, with the way he adopts a babying tone, âI think youâre going to have to beg for it.â
You groan in frustration as a response, but he only clicks his tongue as his fingers reach and finally rid you of your panties. He spreads your folds with two fingers, his face oh so close to your bare pussy. But instead of finally giving you what you want, he clicks his tongue, pouting as if youâre the one forcing him to be a bastard. âYea, Iâm sorry, but youâre going to have to earn it.â
Before you can respond, he holds out his tongue and inches his face even closer to your bare folds until you can feel his warm breath over it. âYou just have to say please.â Then, he ahhh-s, as if holding his tongue out to a doctor and says, âLook Iâm so closeâahhh.â
You can only plead with him. âPlease, Gojo.â
âNo, itâs Satoru to you now, baby.â
âSatoru, please eat me out.â
He smiles. âYeaa, thatâs my girl.â And proceeds to eat you out in a way that has your toes curling.
He acts like a man eating his last meal on death row. Itâs the masterful combination of laving over your folds, kissing your clit, and groaning and making noises that has you inching closer and closer to your orgasm. When you tell him, youâre close, he does exactly what heâs supposed to doâkeep doing what heâs doing, same spot, same tempo, same pressure.
With a cry of his name, you come quickly, and he takes your writhing hips and their motion like a champ, easing you through it. When you feel the all-too-familiar feel of over sensitivity, you grab his hair and pull him towards your face, kissing him tenderly.
He maneuvers his huge frame to lay down next to you, and you fall easily into a gentle embrace. Itâs a comfortable silence, as he burrows his face into your chest and you stroke his hair gently.
Gentler than how youâve ever treated him.
Itâs this thought exactly that you voice to him. âYou know,â you muse softly. âI was such a bitch to you.â This gets his attention, because he moves from where he was comfortable (your boobs) to look at you in alarm. âLike, I was always mean, and like acting all high and mightyââ
âWhatever you think you did, it was hot,â he interrupts you, grinning boyishly. âLike damn when you insult me I get all fired upââ
âSatoru!â You laugh, shocked, looking down at him. âYouâre crazy.â
âYea,â he winks. âCrazy for you.â
You smile softly at that, biting your lip. âI mean, I get that.â You feel his curious gaze rove over you and heat creeps up your neck as you confess, âLike I was stalking you at the gym. I saw you one time, and um. You definitely have a sleeper build.â
He hums. âI get that a lot.â
âYea,â you blurt. âyouâre really hot. Like you have really big arms, which I definitely didnât notice in all those sweaters you wear. You could definitely throw me around.â
Silence.
When you look down at him, heâs looking at you mischievously. He sits up, takes off his shirt, and says, âWant to test that theory?â
The both of you test the theory, indeedâitâs a nice nod to your guysâ academic, theoretical physics roots. But instead of some theory involving dark matter or quantum physics debated while in class, this theory takes all night to prove.
general masterlist
a/n special thank you to @purplegemadventures ily pookie <3 we were discussing how a lot of fics so far have made seem nerd gojo really cute and shy but we tried to envision a shit eating sassy diva just like hidden inventory arc <3 like what that one anon said i need my gojo to be a little annoying cocky (but cute) bastard (or, i quote, "your gojo makes me want to oil his scalp and give him an aggressive head massage and mess his hair up"). ANYWAYS props to that one anon that dropped the "nerd gojo with sleeper build" and my beloved @tiramisuandlove i love you forever
comment and reblog to let me know ur thots!
#aashi writes#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#nerd gojo#nerdjo#divider by cafekitsune
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I doodled some scenes from your fic thus far to commemorate the occasion ( ă»âă»)
Who Remembers a God (a Rune Factory 5 fanfic)
đ Chapter 15 of Who Remembers a God is live! đWith that, I've officially uploaded 30k of the roughly 72k words I've written so far.

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Last year Ares did the ambushing so this year he gets ambushed. Happy Valentine's day
#rune factory#rune factory 5#rf5#valentine's day#aashi doodles#after i finished writing my exercise therapy midterm i needed some therapy too#mine being doodling cute rune factory stuff#tho my parents took me out for dimsum after the test too which was nice
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KASHI!!! share some wips (if youâd be comfy) for the new yr !!!
oh no aashi found my secret account đȘ /j
i have no wips as such because iâve stopped writing, so i donât have a monthly or yearly schedule
what i am writing is sucker punch [on ao3], itâs a boxer sukuna x boxer fem!reader
all my long fics are mostly gonna be on ao3, iâll just âadvertiseâ them on here :P cross posting doesnât do anything good for my mental health i fear
#answered â
#im genuinely winging the plot for this (nothing specific in mind) so itâs gonna have pretty slow updates but iâm glad im working on#a project that allows me to work at my own pace without anyoneâs expectations đ§ââïž
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Hello everyone!!

Welcome to Aashi's Anime and Manga Club. I am a blogger and I love to write about all sorts of anime content. I write about the things I love, and I also write about the things I hate. Writing stuff makes me feel better and helps me to express my honest opinions about certain topics and engage with a community that I generally don't see in my day-to-day life.
I write meta posts, answer asks, recommend fics, and reblog all kinds of interesting stuff. This blog is heavily dedicated to four of my favorite characters: MaoMao, Ochako Uraraka, Toga Himiko, and Lucy Heartfilia. But I write about other seasonal animes as well like Oshi no ko, Tengoku Daimakyo (Heavenly Delusion), My Happy Marriage, Zom100: Bucket List of the Dead, A Sign of Affection, Solo leveling, Spyxfamily etc.
Here is a Navigation Guide to some of my best posts so far:
Starting off with our native apothecary MaoMao...
The Hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao
My most popular 'Kusuriya no Hitorigoto' post so far
Next of is the Golden Girl 'URAVITY' aka Ochako Uraraka
Not just any Hero, we need 'THE HERO'
Not just any hero, we need THE HERO
I like how almost every important character in MHA had an arc about being their own person. The most obvious one being Shouto and Tenya who
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Divided by sides, united by souls...A Tragedy
https://aashi-heartfilia.tumblr.com/post/676548075549032448/saving-her-heart-but-still-dying-at-the-end
We fail to understand.
https://aashi-heartfilia.tumblr.com/post/676519040684081152/we-fail-to-understand
How MHA would have looked like without Uravity?
https://aashi-heartfilia.tumblr.com/post/663386604380012544/how-would-my-hero-academia-would-have-looked-like
Top 10 favorite Ochako Moments
https://aashi-heartfilia.tumblr.com/post/662587942428180480/my-top-10-favourite-ochako-uraraka-moments
Uravity is the next Nana Shimura
Ochako is next Nana Shimura: All Character Plots going on for Ochako Uraraka and Future Potential
I think it was always a big game, Horikoshi had in mind for her. She was introduced as a very lovely and warm person who has a somewhat bada
AASHI-HEARTFILIA.TUMBLR.COM
Why is Uravity the most Overheated character in MHA?
BnHA 323: Why is Uravity the most overhated character in MHA?
Okay then, let's go! If I have to say that Uravity is the most overhated character in MHA it won't even be an opinion, cause it is a fact. E
AASHI-HEARTFILIA.TUMBLR.COM
Anyone can be a Hero: My version of Ochako's speech

ANYONE CAN BE A HERO!!
Do you know about Midnight? To you, she will be a hero but for us, she was our sensei who taught us History every day. But she is no longer
AASHI-HEARTFILIA.TUMBLR.COM
The problem with IzuOcha
The main problem with IzuOcha
Firstly, let me start off by saying that I am in fact an IzuOcha shipper and yet I still feel like something is missing. Today I finally fig
AASHI-HEARTFILIA.TUMBLR.COM
Why Ochako Uraraka isn't a bad female lead?
Why Ochako isn't a bad female lead?
My Hero Academia in general gets a lot of hate for creating sissy female characters who look like a bit of a pushover but honestly Ochako is
AASHI-HEARTFILIA.TUMBLR.COM
Uravity Quirk Evolution Ideas

To think my first prediction was right all along...
Now Ochako can float objects without touching them!! A big bubble of her aura where everything floats in Zero Gravity!! Hopefully we'll get
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Is it time for Ochako's Quirk Evolution too? A TogaChako Theory!!
So I have a theory in mind.
Now that we have seen firsthand how dangerous Ochako's quirk is, in wrong hands just imagine how dangerous an awakening like Toga would be?
AASHI-HEARTFILIA.TUMBLR.COM
Why BakuDeku will become canon and not IzuOcha?
Why BakuDeku will be canon and not IzuOcha? Connection between TogaChako and the entire Love Square...
So this is pure hypothesis and I should clarify that I'm not a shipper when it comes to MHA. I just love the story, its premise and the vari
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It was hinting at Ochako's power all along
It was hinting at Ochako's power all along...The Butterfly effect in MHA
There was a reason why Quirk Doomsday Theory was spelled out for us! There was a reason why Ochako was in front and centre in that panel! Be
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.
Toga Himiko:

My Convoluted Feelings about Toga's Survival
My convoluted feelings about Toga... what now?
So after reading a bunch of metas all over the internet, my feelings about Toga's survival are more convoluted than ever. The fandom is basi
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The 'ULTIMATE' Hero 'URAVITY'

A great time to repost this!
A single girl's feelings can change the world.
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Hawks, Tsuyu, Jirou, and Ochako Team-up!
Hawks, Tsuyu, Jirou and Ochako team up!!
Hi I really enjoyed reading your ochako awaking post and I was wondering if you got anymore ? If not who do you think be a great team up wit
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NO!! SHE'S NOT DYING!!
I love seeing people happy...
That's why I cannot ignore your tears.
Ochako and the dilemma with Volume Covers
Then we have our lovely celestial princess - Lucy Heartfilia
Top 5 Lucy Battles from the 100 Years Quest
RANKING ALL OF LUCY's STAR DRESSES (Must Read)
RANKING LUCY's CELESTIAL SPIRITS
1. Why are her battles interesting?
2. Lucy vs Strauss siblings 2.0?
3. Is she not using her full power?
4. How did Lucy defeat Mimi?
5. Star Dress Evolutions Mini-Series
THANK YOU FOR READING!!

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