#oh yeah? can a depressed person do this

[gibbearish]

btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest

[spicyicymeloncat]

I saw in your notes that you had to cancel your birthday so happy (possibly late) birthday!!

Haha thanks it was last year in September lol!!

And actually I did get to do birthday plans it was just kinda miserably bc the reason I was going to cancel was due to conflicts with my mum (and her making me feel like an awful person about it), but my other mum didn’t care and we went anyways and it was actually fine (the concerns my mum didn’t happen)

Also I was going through basically a platonic break up as well so crazy month lol

But thank you, and everyone who sent me flags, it was nice to get some positive interaction during all that!

[raksh-writes]

Gosh, Im being such a lazy ass today, with finals just around the corner and an off day to get stuff done and instead I just wanna play Skyrim ffs...

[irascible-iridescent]

I can fuck this man, it wont calm him down, it won't fix him, but it will calm ME down

[thethingything]

it's been just under 3 days since we took that antibiotic and our brain still doesn't feel right.

all I can do is wait it out and hope it goes away soon, but we've barely been able to do anything for the last few days and honestly until the med fucked us up I wasn't even sure we could get less functional in terms of how bad our dissociation and stuff was but here we are.

I have things I need to do. I have things I was meant to organise. I'm gonna have to explain a bunch of stuff at that oral surgery consultation on Thursday and I have to hope the side effects have eased off by then because with the way our brain currently is, I'm not actually sure I'd be able to explain the things I need to or remember to ask about things I need to bring up.

I've missed doses of my regular meds because of both the brain fog and our sleep schedule getting fucked up because the medication side effects triggered a fatigue flare and we're back to randomly falling asleep and repeatedly getting stuck in a loop of falling asleep and then waking up just enough to register that we need to do something but not enough to actually open our eyes and do the thing before falling asleep again several times over the course of a few hours and having really vivid dreams that kind of blur together with reality so we wake up really disoriented.

I'm simultaneously overwhelmed, and too brain foggy and dissociated to really register what's making me overwhelmed, but then I think about something that I know has been stressing me out and I just kind of feel apathetic? I guess? and I've had the same thing with stuff I'd normally be really excited/enthusiastic about no matter how bad our depression gets. it's horrible because it's like, I know I care about this thing, I know I feel strongly about it, but I can't access any of those feelings and it's making me feel like I'm not properly myself and that's freaking me out really badly

[running-in-the-dark]

sooooo

I'm 32 now

when can I expect to finally grow out of getting obsessed with men people stuff? I'm waiting....

[caffeinatedopossum]

Adults stop telling kids how much "adulthood sucks" challenge. You might be jealous and nostalgic but you never know which one of those kids *already* has an awful life and can't stand the thought of things getting any worse

Btw, if you are that kid, it doesn't get worse. Adulthood actually gets much better, don't let assholes scare you

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[rapha-reads]

My mother cheating on my father with a guy 30 years younger than her and when we tell her it's disgusting and unacceptable she tries to justify herself like "Oh, this is so Christian moral and catechism puritanism from you" and "This is the patriarchy that's talking".

.... Are... Are you trying to justify your CHEATING on your husband since 1990 on feminism and freedom? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, YOU WILL. She thinks she's not in the wrong because, what, fuck her Christian education and she's a woman, she can do anything she wants ? Is she FUCKING KIDDING ME???

YOU CHEATED, YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING FOR MONTHS, YOU FUCKING JERK.

You hurt your husband, you threw him out of the house, you hurt your children, you think you can come back to my father's village? Your youngest daughter is TWELVE, and you're hurting her so much she's bottling everything in so well she could win an Oscar already, AND YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE ?

What sort of fucked up imaginary world are you living in that cheating is acceptable. For heaven's sake. She had the galls to tell me "adultery is banal, it's ordinary, everybody is doing it, it's not serious; don't be so dramatic". *screams* Hi, hey, if everybody is jumping off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Have you not PAID ATTENTION? Wars, murders, catastrophes have been done because of CHEATING, it is not a MODEL, it's a warning!!! Wtf, wtf, WTF.

I'm tired, I'm so tired. I have a thesis to write and I can't bring myself to work because my mother is throwing away all her life, acting in a shameful and unacceptable way, and disrespecting her family. My grandfather and my uncle and aunts aren't aware yet, but when they learn, oh boy, they might jump in a plane for Morocco to go yell at her.

Anyway. I'm having a real bad time these days and my only solace, my only salvation, are my sisters and my brother.

[trash-iest]

Another year closer to 25 🤡

[jackett-slut]

ok sorry if this sounds fucking insane. i need to write something out.

[bluethedream]

wanna crawl off to a dark corner and never leave

[coldflasher]

god, season 6 is just so much. it’s so fucking. much. like it’s actually quite good if you are someone who enjoys watching barry cry several times an episode, which obviously i do, and if you like watching him get extremely specific and debilitating injuries, which i also do, but nevertheless it is somewhat difficult to watch

[a-passing-storm]

I don't think I've ever been the Long Period of Radio Silence type of depressed person, but now that my obligations are voluntary and ungraded, I am! It sucks!

[running-in-the-dark]

I know I've been particularly incoherent for the past few days (again), and it's so dramatic and ridiculous but it seriously feels like something is punishing me. I just want to like things a normal amount. I just want to like people and characters a normal amount.

I don't want to become so fully obsessed that literally nothing else exists and thinking about anything else feels like my brain is being stabbed with a thousand tiny knives. I don't want to need to find every piece of information I possibly can on whoever it is this time. I don't want to feel like I'm (literally) losing my mind when I see them. I don't want any of this!

I can not believe that I exist as a human being on this stupid planet just to get obsessed with people over and over and over again forever.

[arolesbianism]

If I was more of a fanfic writer I would totally write like 50 oni timeloop ai fics and Id have to fight myself so hard to not make Olivia a significant part of all of them. Just like yeah Quinn timeloop au. They and Olivia regular at the same bar actually. Don't worry abt it.