#oh yeah and happy new year or something
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slay the princess is a very serious and existential game
#oh yeah and happy new year or something#lost it at the NUH UH!!! option when i started playing i love this game#trying to learn a new art program since i got a laptop so ur getting some traditional stp doodles for now lol#slay the princess#stp#the long quiet#stp the witch#the witch#eggdoodles
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i have drawn a birthday picture for akoya every year for the past 11 years! ;;w;; i imagine that every time i do, he gets a year older!
and now, it's canon!! the boueibu characters really are 10 years older! and akoya officially has a gorgeous dress!!! \>////</ congratulations!!! \TWT/
we would prefer not to pick favorites or receive comments about how the art has changed, but to think of every picture as a precious memory! ;;w;; do you remember them all? ;;o;;
akoya-chan!!! thank you so much for being with us for all of these years!! \;;/////;;/ ive loved you, ive found how to be myself through you, i know now that everything always ends up being okay. im so happy ive been able to share these years with you!! ;;~~~~;;
akoya, and all of you, thank you so much for all the beautiful memories!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY ANGEL!!! \>//////</ WE LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!! \;;W;;/💖💖💖
#akoya gero#kusatsu kinshirou#arima ibushi#my art#long post#ive been meaning to do this for a while and had this long post saved in my drafts since.. year 7#held off bc i prefer not to have older art compared to newer art LOL but i feel they really do deserve to be put together#these are my snapshots of the memories from over the years#i still really like the very first one. where akoya is secretly wearing a bra (does anyone remember that?)#there's very subtly a line under his shirt around his shoulder#i tried to continue to include it but at a certain point some of the outfits made it difficult to show it...#the straps in year 8 are.. bc of the bra. yeah. thats it. yes it's a bit extra... but i wanted to keep the tradition .......#yeah the bra could have been strapless.. but i had it that he liked the feeling of the straps... so... anyway... akoys looks happy its fine#is he wearing it under his official dress now...? yaaaay 💖#year 2 they went to visit an art gallery.. kinchan is being himself#year 3... i wanted them to have a cute spring picnic. thats the feeling i wanted#year 4 was just before i moved and i thought i might leave the fandom bc i'd be busy but i Did Not...#year 5 was the first year in my new place starting to live a new life and i wanted a tribute to how far akoya and i had come T////T#year 6 i barely got something done but i managed it ;;---;;#and it was before i started shipping kinako but i remember feeling like i was leaning towards it just a little while i made this ;;#year 7 they are so happy to be together... their bond is so strong!! T////T i love them so much!!!#i thiiink that was the kinako year? you can see kinchan looks happy ;;////;;#i do feel special affinity for year 8 with the double rainbow T///T i posed for all three characters by taking video of myself outside#on a sunny day in the yard and then i put them together. it also reminds me of when kind people gave me rainbows T////T#year 10. the milestone. oh baby we made it this far ;;~~~;; all the tears and all the love... we made it and we're going to be okay T////T#i was going to use a stock paper texture for the text at the end but they said 'show me if you use it'#and i realized i didnt want someone sending them this actually LOL;; so i used a scan of my own sketchbook paper... which may be fitting?#(im realizing that some of the younger people here may not have photo albums and now i feel old)
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Aww Celeshiro would look so cute with your pony designs ^^
They're so cool!
ask and ye shall receive :]!
#never thought about this ship before but it's super cute!#chihiro is probably yapping about code or something like that#celeste does Not know what they're talking about but that's ok she just likes listening lol#also i forgot this was their ship name so when i got the ask i deadass was like#“celeste and....hiro??? i mean yeah i'll draw it but that's a new one i've never seen before”#then i looked it up to double check and was like oh !!!! i'm an idiot#i've been a danganronpa fan for basically like 6+ years........#fake fan what the hell#also yippee glad you like the pony designs!!!! so excited that other people think they're so cool lol#anyways tag yap session over#chihiro fujisaki#celestia ludenberg#celeshiro#danganronpa#trigger happy havoc#mlp#my little pony#aloe mlp au#aloe.art
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what if i.... got obsessed with Star Wars again??
#not gonna lie i was feeling nostalgic and then i saw people asking about jareor and it made something in my chest clench like oooooh#and so i went down memory lane and reread some old fics that i love and it made me happy.#and then i reread MY old fics and even my WIPs and i was like oh yeah! this was cooking wtf happened! (life. life happened.)#and then to top it all off i read through every comment for my fics again and gosh. everyone was just so nice#those comments meant (and still mean!) so much to me#its daunting cause its been years and i'm woefully out of practice with star wars lore and i'd need to rewatch some things.#but part of me wants to? i miss this community more than any other i've been a part of. i miss writing too.#i cant guarantee i'll be active again. i have two jobs one of which is very stressful (i work in the news rn) but i want to be.#i might start with reading more and reblogging art again... i want to pick back up with my fanfics but i may go back and rewrite a bit firs#oh maybe some star wars books are on libby and i can read some novels!#ugh i miss you guys. it's been years i dont think many of you are around. but i still think fondly of you all.#fluff rambles
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the brainworms™ as bee and puppycat. also happy new years :D
also short thingy. ive been working on a grimpulse fanfic off/on with my partner helping with beta reading. and despite taking me ages, (i had a plot layout and was ready to write but then realised the plot was just absolutely nothingburger fr. so i scrapped it and made something new and better im happy with-) ,im gonna be ready to post it soon i hope :3. im about halfway through writing chapter 1 and actually having so much fun. if your interested in that i should post a link to it within the week hopefully. aight thats all bye!
#grimpulse#hermitshipping#lemonywings art#lemonywings#ngl i actually really wanted to have the first chapter out before new years because chapter 1 is kinda themed around it#sorry for spoilers but also theres like 4 people here who cares#anyways i had to let myself actually breathe and enjoy the holidays so yeah sorry im being really slow im trying my best#OH ALSO this is my first ever actual written story ive one before outside of some short oneshots. please be nice about criticism#also im not great with lots of people seeing stuff im not sure is good enough. especially if its something written#so theres a good chance that when its done its gonna be private or maybe even “dm me and ill give you the link via google drive”. sorryyyyy#OK IM DONE HAPPY NEW YEARS BYE
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Yk how birds can't really register that glass exists? Well
#he can hear door but is never able to see him#THIS IS A JOKE#r1999#ToffeeRambles#in a mental ward ofc#I'm sorry I just need something r1999 related to break the Silver chain on my account#reverse: 1999#reverse:1999#reverse#reverse 1999#reverse1999#re1999#r1999 getian#getian#r1999 door#door#yanping#r1999 yanping#why did I tag so much for something that I should probably put back in the closet#oh yeah happy new years I'm sorry if your new year was ruined by this post
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Why do I feel like I miss
#fanart#bnha#my hero acadamy#mha#boku no hero fanart#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo katsuki#kacchan#bakugou#mha fanart#great explosion murder god dynamight#The feeling of having lost something#It's so loose#I want to grab on#oh... Happy New Year... yeah... damn
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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“if i turn from doing what’s right, i’ll lose myself” / “then i’m coming with you” / “i know :)”

#i already had thoughts abt them but the whole. the don’t go where i can’t follow trope. omfgggg#the way that after a year of knowing each other something shifted in sabine the moment harding got injured#such a small sudden shift but it changed everything#suddenly sabine found herself thrown off guard by the way harding looked at her#that softness. that vulnerability.#not because she was scared but because she felt an urge she’d never felt before#this ache to protect her#she wants to do everything for her. to be there for her and uplift her and provide for her and make her so so so SO happy#an all-encompassing desire to be With Her. such a new feeling that she just can't keep herself from giving in to#whether she's trying or not. she can't help it. true north always points to lace harding#sabine was always on her own romantically. flirting was a means to an end. sex was between friends not lovers.#it's not that she thought love didn't exist it's that she never bothered trying to find it so when IT found HER it got her by the throat#it is so simple but this is loveeee she's falling in loveeeeeee#and the FEAR oh my god#her love for harding was born out of the realization she's afraid to lose her and so fear is at the heart of their relationship#the urge to protect is first instinct. she was a treasure hunter. hypervigilance is second nature#‘i know.’ yeah babe. she sure does.#anyways.txt#jasmine plays datv#ch: sabine laidir#god there are parallels between sabine/harding and alistair/rowena now that i'm getting into the meat of it. hold on a second#man hold on a second........#unease permeating the air. stolen moments amidst the despair. paralyzing fear of loss and grieving before the tragedy has even struck#MMMM OKAY. OKAY.#the difference is sabine is a grown woman with a healthy brain and rowena is like nineteen traumatized and insane
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Happy New year everyone! I'm aware my post is late since I am 1 making this post 10 minutes after the New Year started, and also I live in one of the later timezones. However, I wanted to share that as a part of this new year, I've made a resolution; [obligatory read more since editing me has decided this is kinda long]
My resolution is to defeat [not 100%] every Zelda game that I have a copy of or aqquire this year. I think it's a task I can actually do and isn't too far off into impossible land, and to kick it off I spent the entirety of today completing [the first quest] of the original NES Zelda, in one sitting [like its meant to be] and abusing savestates every frame because I don't have very good control over mobility in games god help me if I play a precision platformer like ever. Anyway, completing this game is a very big deal to me, since I normally have a Very Big Issue with actually seeing the end of the game, and on top of that, it's a very hard game that i have held on a pedastal for years, and will continue to do so. I had to use my damn Zelda encyclodia and a guide to skip 70% of the final dungeon, too, though im nowhere near ashamed of that.
Here's proof for my own sake, as well as a few doodles, zelda related things in the encyclopedia that i may or may not do a redraw of later, and just general things that make me happy in my camera roll to start the new years off with some positivity. Remember kids, you don't gotta celebrate shit if it makes you feel bad, but make sure to take as much positivity as you can, however and whenever its avaliable, feeling happy is the difference behind surviving and living. If you don't have a new years resolution or are scared/dislike having one, that's okay and don't let anyone pressure you into that stuff! Just make sure your safe,stable and as happy as you can manage in your current situation.
You can tell this recording is mine because I never upgraded my bombs /j










#talk talks#important#zelda ranch dip#on a technicality#i saw a drawing of ravio and its the Only official art ive seen of his hood that i think looks cute so im gonna redraw it#i also want to learn how to digital paint but eh if i dont get around to it its okay. i got time everyone's got time#on nights like these i feel happy in like the “lets go sit outside under the stars and talk about our bad feelings so we dont have to think#of them anymore. lets trade thoughts and hopeful wishes in a hope they might come true“ yknow? its a nice#oh shit wait right yeah thats hust how feeling calm is like 90% of the time i can feel my chest being tight with anxiety#im a very anxious person but anxiety dont help anyone so you probably wouldnt know until like. i have a heart attack or something ive been#waiting on that to happen since i was 14 dude. ah dammit calm is over anyway happy new years! stay safe!
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me internally when i’m trying to respect and recognise that my dad has unaddressed autism that impacts the way he handles social interractions while also trying to not just excuse the shitty insensitive behaviour that has absolutely contributed to my mental health issues
#it’s like. haha yeah he handled that situation terribly but remember it wasn’t intentional and he doesn’t understand how that came across!!#i can’t be mad at him i can’t take it personally and get upset haha. hahaha.#and also it’s like. being autistic isn’t an excuse to be a dick. being autistic doesn’t mean you have to like. emotionally damage ur kid ✌🏻#which i AM. growing up with him has fucked me up!!! and i’m allowed to be mad at that i’m allowed to be upset!!!!!!!!#but also oh god is that shitty of ME??? is that insensitive???? do i need to just be more empathetic and understanding#but ALSO also. when ur a kid that shit doesn’t matter. when ur a kid and ur dad is making you cry that doesn’t matter.#and those years of damage stick with you even when ur older and trying to be mature and understanding#literally this evening started with me trying to do something nice for him. trying to give him a gift. actually literally giving him a gift.#and it has ended with me feeling fucking….. shit.#and disrespected. and useless.#i try so fucking hard with this man and with our relationship and every fucking time i try to connect with him he throws it back in my face#like. hey! you’ve been saying how much you want to play gran turismo 7!!! i will loan you my PS5 for a while bcus i’m not playing anything#and i will BUY YOU the fucking car game for you to play it while me and my mum are away on our girlie beach holiday#like i will happily and enthusiastically do those things for you because you have been so vocal about wanting to play this game!!!#so it will make you happy right? it will be something positive for you to enjoy!!! right?!!!????#i will bring my console down to the family tv room for you and i will send you the money so you can buy the game!!!!#oh. oh you’ve clicked around the main playstation menu for 2mins and then turned it off to watch the news. and then just open ur laptop.#not even gonna buy the game huh. just gonna open ur laptop and zone out and act line i’m not even in the room. oh ok. ok ok.#not even a fucking thank you. not even a HINT of recognition. ok ok. ok. ok. now you’re literally ignoring me when i talk to you. ok. ok.#and like!!!! i know this seems so dumb and minor and insignificant but you have to understand. it has been 25 years of this shit.#25 years of me trying to make this man happy and 25 years of him rejecting all of those attempts.#and 25 years of……. a lot of other shit also.
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Why are British teenage girls so unhappy? Here’s the answer (Caitlin Moran, The Times, Sep 13 2024)
"The report, by the Children’s Society, found that British 15-year-old girls are the most unhappy in Europe.
British girls aged 10-15 are “significantly less happy” with their life, appearance, family and school than the average boy — and their happiness is still declining.
Boys’ life satisfaction, meanwhile, remains broadly stable. (…)
But I still didn’t have an “aha!” moment about why this so disproportionately affects girls until… I talked to some teenage girls.
It was at a party, and I went to vape with them on the patio. Because I take my nicotine like children do.
“Duh — it’s the boys,” one said when I brought it up, as all the others agreed.
“The boys?” I asked.
My last book, What About Men?, had been all about how much boys struggle these days: their loneliness; their suicide rates. I’d spent the past year feeling very sympathetic towards boys.
“Yeah, well, who do you think they’re taking out their unhappiness on? It’s us,” another girl said.
“One boy at school used to draw a picture every day of how ugly I was,” a third girl said. “Every day for two years.”
“They’ve all got ‘Rate The Girls’ polls on their WhatsApps,” the first said. “They mark you down for weight gain, haircuts, what you say.”
“But then, if you’re hot, it’s just as bad, in a different way, because they’ll be talking about how they want to f*** you.”
The girls discussed coping techniques. Bad news: none of them worked.
“The only way you can stop them is if you become ‘one of the boys’ and hang out with them. But then,” the second girl said with a sigh, “all the other girls call you a slut. Because you’ve gone over to the boys’ side.”
“Surely it’s not all the boys?” I said. “There must be some nice boys?”
“Oh, yeah,” one girl said. “But they keep their heads down. Because… well, look.”
She showed me the Instagram account of her friend. Under every picture she posted of herself — smiling in a new dress; with her dog — dozens of anonymous accounts had replied with the most rank abuse.
“Fat.” “Slut.” “You gonna try and kill yourself again, for attention?”
“They’re all boys from her school,” she said. “And look, this one boy tried to defend her.”
I saw a series of messages from a brave teenage boy, posting things like, “You’re all big men, leaving these replies under anonymous accounts.”
As I could see, this boy immediately became a target too. Mainly accusations that he was “white knighting” this girl: “You wanna f*** her, bro?”
“So,” I asked, “you don’t think it’s social media pressure to be beautiful, or the economy, that’s making girls so sad?”
“Well, yeah, them too,” the first girl said. “But, Monday-Friday, 9-3, I’m not on social media. I’m not… in the economy. I’m just with these boys. And no one talks about how horrible they are.”
I thought about another recent report, showing a 30 per cent ideological gap between Gen Z men, who are increasingly conservative, and Gen Z women, who are increasingly progressive.
I thought about Andrew Tate, who has nine million mostly young male followers — and faces human trafficking charges, which he denies.
And I thought: maybe these girls are on to something. Maybe more people need to vape with teenage girls and ask them for the school gossip."
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Ignore
#delete later#two senior ppl at my job are leaving and im super stressed about it. i don't think my job is in jeopardy or whatever but shits changing#and i hate that. We've got more projects from a secondary client so thats going well. but eurgh. a nightmare. im not especially surprised#about either though. the one got fucked over by the client last year and the other has health difficulties#that i imagine are being negatively affected by working so much.#eurgh. stressful. both of them are nice.#im happy for them both. but also stressed.#in other news my new budget is working well. I've been able to put money back in my savings for two months now. im getting a handle#on what to prioritise in terms of chores and energy expense. im baking and really enjoying it - theres something so wonderful#about making yourself a treat for the week on the weekend. like hey work is hard but im gonna make this gift for morning me#im on top of my laundry which is probably thr most surprising thing. on top of self care. washing up and hoovering continue to be very#difficult for me but im getting better. i have a little more motivation to do physio again. and like a lot of this is that the winter blues#are leaving me. and the grief is. not fading but is less all present. i still start to panic every couple days and get upset but. i can#breathe through it now a little easier. this week ive actually felt capable at work. ive written around 900 lines of code and problem#solved a massive amount. i still feel. bad. but i have more moments of good. and im getting better at messaging ppl when i realise#that i feel lonely. thats good progress. I feel small but alive and thats an improvement#oh yeah i also figured out a way to track taking my meds bc i couldnt just Do it anymore. progress!
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Small Touches and Simple Gestures
Summary: Javier Peña x Fe!Reader -> For years you've pretended to be married to avoid unwanted attention. But what happens when the lie you've been living, suddenly becomes true. Well, at least a part of it.
Disclaimer: Swearing, fluff, one of the agents making a move on Reader though nothing happens (Javi stops it). Fake dating, falling in love, embarrassing mothers, office romance. Heavy smut towards the end, so 18+. Happy ending. A lot of smaller intimate moments between Javi and Reader away from the smut, too. Kinda a long one. Not Proof Read.
If someone had told you that three years into working with Agent Javier Peña you’d be wearing a wedding band, marrying you to him for at the very least, the foreseeable future…you wouldn’t have believed them.
And you would be right not to. Because that, technically, wasn’t what it was for.
And it had all started with a question that Peña asked you one day as you sat at your desk.
“Was he real?”
You slowly tore your attention away from the case file in front of you. “What?”
“Your husband.”
For a moment you forgot all about how you’d first come to interact with Peña. He had asked you out. Well, flirted heavily then asked you out.
“What husband?”
Javi stood as he talked, walking towards your desk and sitting down on the edge of it closest to you. “One day you’re wearing a wedding ring telling me you’re married, the next it’s gone.”
You looked at your hand. “Oh. Yeah.” You decided to admit the truth. “I made him up.”
Despite his constant theories, he was still shocked. “What?”
“I made him up.”
You said it as if you were asking him how his day was. Like it was nothing new.
“You made him up?”
“You try and be a single woman in this office who doesn’t like getting hit on by every guy who thinks with his dick,” you told him. “See how quickly you make up a fake family.”
He had to laugh. “But I hit on you.”
You looked at him, suppressing an already knowing smirk on your face. “My point exactly.”
“Think I got something.” From the door, Steve came sweeping inside and threw a couple of files down on Javi’s desk. The previous topic was dropped for now but you took a moment to revel in the shock graced on Peña’s face.
However, a few hours later, it was brought back up again.
You’d been standing in the evidence locker, looking for yet another misplaced case file. Could people not read in this office? Had they lost all sense of the alphabet? You sighed heavily.
“How long have you been doing it?”
You jumped and found Peña standing behind you. “Jesus, Peña. Make a noise or something. Fuck.” You turned back to the messy shelf in front of you.
“So?”
You sighed. “Doing what? This? Feels like hours.”
He shook his head and rounded you before leaning against the side of the shelves. “Not the files. You being married.”
“Oh, uh…” You pulled a few hefty files and handed them over to him before reaching down onto the lower shelf and pulling those files up. “Couple years, I guess. Since before the Academy.”
“Why?”
“Didn’t you hear me earlier, or do I need to repeat myself, Peña?”
He shook his head again and put the files down. “No, I heard you. But that’s here. Why did it start?”
You sighed and stopped what you were doing to look at him. “Why are you so interested all of a sudden?”
He let out a small chuckle. “What? Come on, you’re one of the first Agents here to reject me not once, but three different times.”
You raised a subtle eyebrow. “I was married when you did that.”
“The first time, yes.” Javi corrected. “But that was an honest mistake. The second and third time, there was no ring on your finger. And, after this morning, you technically weren’t married at all. Look, just answer my questions and then I’ll drop it forever.”
“You promise?”
He held up his hand. “Scouts honour.”
You gave a questioned hum. “It’s difficult to imagine you as a Scout.”
“Y/l/n.”
You groaned. “Fine. It started because I got asked out a couple of times by this guy. He seemed nice and all but I wasn’t interested. So, when he asked why I kept saying no, I told him I was married. Swapped my rings over under the bar top before showing it to him. He took it well, apologised and said my husband was a lucky fella.”
Peña continued to listen.
“Then I moved away. The second time I was with someone but this guy just kept hitting on my friend. She went to the bathroom and then he started on me. Told him I was with someone. He didn’t believe me. So, I showed him my wedding band. Said my friend was married, too. He,” you sighed. “Eventually backed-off. After that it just kinda became my go-to. People I interviewed preferred to see a married woman than a single woman being a cop. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t start out my job as married. But the minute the compliments, and the touching and the dates being pre-arranged because they expected me to say yes…once they all started, I started wearing my wedding ring.”
“So why take it off?”
You shrugged. “Guess I must have forgotten. Besides, nobody has tried anything in the last couple of years. We’ve all been too busy.”
For a moment, Peña’s demeanour seemed to shift. “But I’ve flirted with you.”
You smiled a tired smile and stepped back from the files for a moment. “I work with you, Peña. I like you but I think I’m immune.”
“That hurts.” He deadpanned before placing a hand over his heart. “That…wow.”
You laughed. “I think you’ll bounce back.”
And he did. That night he walked out telling Murphy he had a date with the stall girl he’d met a few days ago.
The following weeks were hectic as different cases made their way across your desk, all with connections to Peña and Murphy’s biggest case; Pablo Escobar.
From interviewing victim’s families, to interrogations, to the crappy coffee in the break room. Your days and nights were spent looking over files and dealing with your case loads. Until one afternoon in the breakroom led to something you never had expected.
There was another Agent working at the Embassy. You’d seen him around a few times, shared a conversation or two. But most importantly, he had seen your wedding ring. You hadn’t missed his behaviour over the last couple of days. It started with smiles in the hallway – innocent enough. Then you found him in your breakroom more. Apparently the coffee was better. Then he was sitting at your table during lunch – apparently his partner was out for the day and he felt like some company. You didn’t miss his eyes clocking your hand.
“Your wedding band. It’s gone.”
You didn’t know why at the time, but the lie fell from your lips. “Oh, yeah, It’s in for a cleaning. It had a couple dark patches and scuffs on it.”
More things started creeping up. Like how he always stood just that little bit closer and not in a comforting way, when you were both talking. Or how his eyes looked you up and down before you got to speaking distance from each other.
Then in the breakroom, the ‘compliments’ started. How your hair looked – how it always looked. How you always made ‘women’s clothes look so much better’. How he enjoyed spending time with you because you actually talked to him.
“You know,” he trailed a finger up your arm and you were three seconds away from breaking it and running to take a scalding hot shower. “I was thinking we could get away for a while. After all, we both deserve a break. Maybe take these lunches outside of the office.”
You stepped back. “I’m married.”
“Oh, come on, we both know that’s a sham.” He told you, taking a step closer as you took another one back. “You never bring him to office parties, there’s no pictures on your desk-”
“I don’t need to prove to you or to anyone else that I’m married.”
He laughed. He actually laughed. “You’re not about to tell me he lives in Canada are you?”
“No. He-”
“He’s right here.”
It was safe to say you were shocked, but the agent didn’t seem to notice as he turned round and found Javi standing in the hallway.
“Peña. I was just-”
“Scaring my wife?”
The guy was turning paler by the second and yet somehow his ego carried him through. “You mean work-wife, because I have to say Javi, that doesn’t really count.”
“How about a marriage certificate? Does that count for you?” Peña finally found you by his side before he whispered to you.
“You okay, cariño?” All you could do was nod, the shock of him pretending to be your husband still settling over you.
He looked back to the agent who had been hitting on you. “I’m gonna tell you this once and only once. Hit on my wife or scare her again, and I’ll kill you.”
“Javi-”
“I don’t think Messina would be happy to learn one of her best Agents was being sexually harassed.”
He nodded, backing away. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Javi shook his head. “Not to me. To her.”
Awkwardly, the guy looked from Javi, around the room, back to Javi and then to you. “I’m sorry.”
You didn’t move. You didn’t speak. Peña’s your husband?
“You can go.”
Taking Javi’s instructions, he left. Peña then waited a minute before turning towards you. “You sure you’re okay?”
You nodded. “I’m fine. Thank you, by the way.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“But you shouldn’t have done that.”
“What?” He asked, holding the coffee pot in one hand and your mug in the other.
“Javi…” You looked around the room before looking back at him. “This is gonna spread around the office. You and I -- married.”
He shrugged. “What’s the big deal? Now you’ve got a physical person to pretend to be your husband.”
“Javi.” He handed you your cup of coffee before pouring his own. “Please tell me you are aware of your own reputation? And the fact that we are colleagues? And the fact that I have been making a husband up for god knows how long? People are going to know this is fake and then I’ll be judged – heavily – for it.”
“Why would you be judged?”
You rested a hand on your hip. “This is gonna look like I’ve used you to be my pretend husband and everyone will just feel sorry for me and make a big joke about it with you.”
“Except I’m the one that told him.” Peña pointed out. “If anything, that’s what’s going to spread around the office.”
“Ah yes, I can see the headlines now; ‘Agent Javier ‘slut’ Peña finally ties himself down with a female colleague.’.”
He shrugged. “We don’t have to be tied down if you don’t want to.”
You hit him on the arm. “Be serious.”
“Look,” he set his coffee cup down and took you by the shoulders. “If it becomes anything then we just fake it. We already spend most of our time together anyway, and who hasn’t had an office romance once in their life?”
“I haven’t.”
Peña paused for a second before nodding. “Congratulations. You’ve just lost your office romance virginity.”
“Peña.”
He shook it off. “All I’m saying is, if it becomes a thing, we just…roll with it.”
“Roll with it?”
He nodded. “Roll with it.”
“There’s a chance our careers hang in the balance because I’m pretty sure this breaks at least three rules in HR. And your grand solution is to…’roll…with it.’.”
Javi nodded once more. “We’ll be fine. I promise.”
It was not fine. Neither of you were fine. Especially considering two days later you were both forced into Messina’s office where, before you could spit out the truth, Messina interrupted and said she didn’t want to know. Just that you both had to remain completely professional and that if someone ever caught either of you, you’d both be suspended.
So, things remained somewhat neutral. You both received a couple of looks from other co-workers. Murphy teased both of you relentlessly, despite being the only one to know the truth since you stopped the elevator when all three of you were inside to tell him as much.
But then the loud rumours started and people didn’t even try to hide them.
Whilst pouring you and Peña a cup of coffee each – something you had done almost everyday for three years, you could hear people gossiping.
“Maybe he knocked her up. Shotgun wedding, you know?”
“I don’t think they’re even a couple. I mean, they never show any kind of affection to each other.”
One disagreed with that statement. “No, I’ve seen him with her a few times. Little touches here and there. Must be their love language. Small touches and simple gestures.”
“That’s cute, I guess. But I kinda expected more from Javi. He was always so…you know.”
The woman beside her sighed, “Yeah.”
You walked away more confused about life than you had been since before you started highschool.
It was clear the rest of the office ‘knew’ about ‘you and Javi’. And that they each had a different opinion on the matter. And some of them you didn’t even know about, but Javi did.
He’d heard everything from your marriage to him being a sham because he got you pregnant, to both male and female staff asking him “why y/n?”. Except, it was never in a friendly manner. To the men, it was either because they thought “Javi could have any choice he wanted, and he went for her?”, or because he’d gone for one of the women they had wanted “a shot at” themselves. And to the women it was…much of the same thing, with an added jealous streak wondering why he went for “the one woman who didn’t want” him, when most of the other women who’d worked with him “actually wanted” him.
Javi’s eyes trailed your every move from the coffee station, back to your desk and then towards him. “You okay?”
You zoned back into reality and handed him his coffee. “Yeah. Fine. What have you got?”
Turning the case file around, he told you.
Around a month or so later, not much had changed. People were still gossiping about your marriage to Peña, the case was gathering little evidence so the constant reviewing of previous case loads was underway. Between keeping up the lie of your marriage to Javi – despite neither of you having to do much out of your normal routine – and the case work and the constant heart attack you got when Messina would stop walking when stood directly between your desk and Peña’s before humming and moving along, you were running out of energy.
“Come to mine after work.”
You looked around. People were looking but they were too far out of earshot to hear.
You took the paper from Javi.
“Why?”
“You’re tired, and I’m tired watching you eat that shitty stuff from the cafeteria. I’m cooking dinner.”
You looked up at him, shocked. “You can cook?”
He smiled. “Yeah, yeah. After work. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.”
Javi tapped your desk twice before walking away and looking around the office. Everyone who had been looking quickly looked away before looking back at you. Once they found you looking, they turned back to their work.
For a moment, you looked at the half stale coffee on your desk. It would be nice to have a decent meal considering you’d been eating left-overs for about a week and half.
And he kept his promise.
Javi had left work an hour before you were supposed to. He’d grabbed his jacked off the hook behind your desk, bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, your body too tired to fight off leaning into him when he did so. You had meant to clock out of work an hour later but staring at words, losing concentration and trying to focus back in meant when you finally looked at the clock, you were getting close to being forty minutes late.
“Shit.”
Not bothering to drop your stuff off in your apartment two floors up, you found Javi’s door unlocked like he’d said and you walked inside.
It smelt like heaven. Good, hot food. And Javi.
It was quiet as you walked down his hallway and eventually found him relaxing on the sofa, his legs thrown across the rest of it. He was watching reruns.
“Relax,” you could hear the smile in his voice despite not being able to see his face. “Figured you’d be late. Food’ll be ready soon.”
With a relieved sigh, you dropped your bag by the steps and walked around. He moved his legs for you to sit down and he watched you for a moment as you pushed the heels of your hands into your eyes and leaned back.
“Tired?”
“Exhausted,” you admitted.
“Come ‘ere.” His voice was soft and quiet as he reached out for you by the shoulder. Looking at him for a moment before silently agreeing, you let him pull you down until eventually you were laying beside him, your head on his chest, his legs tangled with yours.
It took him a moment, but Javi removed your hair-tie letting your hair loose before running his fingers through it. You relaxed almost immediately, feeling the once growing headache slowly melt away with each touch of his hand.
You could have fallen asleep but he didn’t let you. “You’ve gotta eat. I didn’t slave over a hot stove for nothing.”
You groaned a little and buried yourself deeper into his side. “How are you this calming?”
“It’s my natural touch.” Javi told you before kissing the top of your head and sitting up. “Come on. Dinner’s ready. Then I promise, you can fall asleep.”
“Hallelujah.”
It took you a moment but your head eventually stopped spinning long enough for you to sit up and walk over to the table where Javi had set down both of your meals. And it was one of the best you’d ever had; either because he was a great cook, or you were starving enough that any food that wasn’t cafeteria left-overs would taste like heaven at that moment. Though, you had a feeling it was the first one.
In silence, you both washed and dried. Until you spoke out the pressing question on your mind.
“What happens if we meet ‘the one’?”
“What ‘one’?” Javi handed you another freshly washed plate.
“I mean,” you spun it through the dish towel. “To everyone else, we’re married. But what if we end up meeting the person we actually want to date and marry? What do we do then?”
Javi shrugged. “Guess we get divorced.”
“But we’re not actually married.”
“Then we play it by ear. They say when you know you know…maybe when we know, we just…tell them the truth. But I doubt that’s gonna happen.” Javi nearly crapped himself. “For me, not you. I doubt that’ll happen for me.”
You looked at him. “Why?”
For a moment, he was quiet. Thinking. Deliberating. “Back in Texas, I was gonna get married. Lorraine. She was a wonderful woman but…I don't know. I was driving to the church and I just stopped.”
“You left her at the altar?”
“I never made it to the church,” he admitted. “I don’t know. I suppose at some point I’d settle down but…” Javi shrugged. “I can see it happening for you though, so, whenever you do meet him, I can be there to help explain this whole…situation we’ve got going on.”
You laughed a little at that. “Thanks.”
Twenty minutes later, you were half asleep before Javi pulled you over to him once more. The last thing you could remember was you taking a deep breath in, the scent of him, his home and his cooking fill your senses.
When you woke up, you found yourself still on the sofa, the news playing on the TV and Javi cooking in the kitchen. It took you a while before your brain registered you weren’t still dreaming and you’d fallen asleep not only at Peña’s, but also on him.
“Hey,” Peña shook you back awake. “Breakfast is ready.”
You placed your hand over his and nodded. “Okay.”
Neither of you said anything when you ate, just listened to the news that passed over the speakers of the TV.
“Who taught you to cook?” You asked, turning to look at him as he drove you both to work.
“My dad. My mom helped, but dad was the one who burnt less stuff.”
After eating, you’d run to your apartment to get a fresh change of clothes and run a brush through your hair, only to be greeted by your husband at the bottom of the stairs. “I’ll drive us to work.”
So, now you were driving to work with Javi before hopping out of his car and being led with a warm hand at the bottom of your back through the hallways of work before you both finally reached your desks.
And for the first time in weeks, you finally had the energy to get through your work day. And so did Javi.
Although things started to change when you got a surprise visit from your mother.
You’d been working for weeks on the same case and in between all of the case work, the fake marriage and the few months that followed, you’d forgotten to write to your mother.
It was her one agreement with you moving to Columbia. She knew there was nothing she could do to stop you – it was your job and you were good at it, plus, despite all of the gear grinding you had to do every now and again, you loved it. But knowing she didn’t accept your decision to work as DEA in Columbia would have slowly killed you – and her, too.
Any time she called, you’d either been dead asleep – either at yours or Javi’s – or at work. So, she took the notion to come and see you.
So when you walked down the hall towards your office and heard your mother’s voice ask you a question, you felt your entire body crash to a screaming halt before realising what and why she was asking.
“You’re married?”
“Mom.”
Your mom called your full name and walked towards you. “What this lovely woman just told me better not be true, or else that means I’ve missed my daughter’s wedding.”
You tried your best to remain calm and relaxed. Two emotions you were desperately clinging onto for dear life. “She tells me his name is Javier Pen…”
For a moment, she looked back to the secretary who nodded and whispered his name again for your mother to repeat with full confidence to you. “Javier Peña.”
“Mom, maybe it’s best we-”
Then the secretary spoke up in excitement. “Oh, there he is. Javi!”
Looking up from his own case file, about to turn down the hallway, he found who was calling him before seeing who was standing in front of them. You and, from what he could guess, your mother.
Shit. Your mother? No. She was back in the States. Maybe he’d remembered her face wrong from the picture behind your desk.
Walking over, Javi’s hand came to your lower back before he quickly brushed a kiss against your cheek. “Cariño, you okay?”
You tried to remain calm as you said the next sentence. “Javi, this is my mother. Mom, this is my..husband..Javi.”
Then something you hadn’t expected to happen, happened.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Mrs Y/l/n. Y/n’s told me a lot about you.”
“I wish I could say the same.” But she still shook his hand and allowed him to press a light kiss to the back of it.
Carefully, Javi stepped back and pulled you closer towards him, your mother’s eyes never once stopping to not examine the couple that stood in front of her.
Javi nodded. “We are sorry about that. But, maybe we can make it up to you.”
You looked at Javi a little panicked. But your mother was already interested. “Oh?”
“I’m guessing you’re staying here for a few days? Come and stay with us. I can make us dinner and we can all get to know each other.”
Then your mom smiled. Apparently Javi already had her approval. “Well…I think that would be lovely. But don’t think either of you are getting off lightly. I missed my daughter’s wedding that I didn’t even know about.”
“Honey, give your mother our address, I’ll ask-”
She shook her head. “No, no. You all seem busy. I can take myself there. And I’d like to see what’s around the market stalls. Is there anything I can bring for dinner?”
Javi shook his head. “No, not at all.”
You smiled. “He’s got it covered, mom. Just bring yourself.”
“Alright then. Well, I look forward to seeing you both for dinner.”
In the space of five minutes you’d all said your goodbye’s and you had ever so sweetly pulled your husband towards your office before closing the door and blinds and turning back to your partner.
“What the hell are you thinking?”
Javi shrugged. “She’s come down here to see you. We might as well make the effort.”
“We? Javi. We don’t live together. She’s gonna take one look around my apartment and realise I still live there. She’s gonna take one more look at my face and realise everything that’s happened is a complete sham and then she’s gonna parade it around town that I’m still single. She won’t mean it harshly, but she will.”
“So, we don’t tell her and just say we haven’t had a chance to move things since getting married. We’ll be okay.”
You let out a panicked laugh before you started pacing. “I knew this was a bad idea. It’s bad enough we’re lying to people here.”
“You’re the one that started it before I got roped in.”
“Hey! You roped yourself into this. You were the one that said you were my husband.”
“Would you have preferred for Agent Dickbag to keep pushing?!”
You took a breath. “Javi…I don’t know if I can lie to her. What…what do I tell my family when they find out? This was just meant to keep people like Agent Dickbag away…”
Reading the panic all over your body, Javi stood and walked towards you until you were wrapped in his arms. “Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll keep the secret up long enough to make sure nobody else finds out the truth, and then you can just say we rushed into things. We got a quick divorce and moved on, civilly.”
“I think you missed your calling in Acting.” You told him. “I think my mom already has your seal of approval.”
“Really?” He pulled back a little and smiled. “That’s a first.”
“We’ll be okay?”
He nodded. “We’ll be okay.”
And you believed him.
Because it was true.
In the space of about fifteen minutes, you and Javi managed to move some things from your apartment, into his to make it seem more…homely. Like two people actually lived there. Especially since your mom would be living in your apartment for the next couple of days until she flew back home to the rest of your family.
“Will she really check the bedroom?” Javi called from the kitchen.
You’d moved some things to the second bedside table. One or two books, a couple of hair-ties, plasters, “stray” pens. You tried your best to make it look believable as possible.
“You don’t know her like I do. This woman is Jessica Fletcher. Unsuspecting to the world, but in fact sees everything. Trust me, you do not want to end up in interrogation with my mother. Happened to a perp once. She came in to visit my dad but he was wrangling a couple of the officers so she walked around, found the perp sitting in holding and she actually got a confession out of him. Cops had been trying all day and nothing. A five minute conversation with my mother and they got a full written confession out of him.”
Javi gave a low whistle. “Wow.”
“Yeah. So, trust me, what I’m doing? It’s gonna, hopefully, save us some grief.”
Javi was still cooking by the time your mom knocked on his door and you brought her inside. Immediately her eyes scanned the place picking up on the pictures, books and music.
“It smells delicious.”
“He’s a good cook.”
And for the first couple of minutes everything ran smoothly. Your mother did everything you’d expected her to do. She even passed Javi in the kitchen to look into your bedroom.
“She really did it.” Javi mouthed.
“Told you so,” you mouthed back.
“Mom, do you wanna come and sit down? I can get you a drink.”
“I’ll have a soda if you have it, please.”
You got your mom a soda and poured it into a glass with ice, handing it to her as she stood still examining your home.
“So, how is he in bed?” She whispered a little too loud to you.
You felt yourself go bright red. Redder still when you heard Javi chuckle from the kitchen. “Mom!”
“What? I’m allowed to ask my daughter these questions. I need to know you’re being satisfied in every aspect of your marriage.”
You groaned and covered your eyes. “Mom.”
“You’re being careful? Using condoms? You know pulling out doesn’t work as birth control.”
You could have died. “Mom, please. Stop.”
Javi let out a small laugh as he walked from the kitchen and handed you a drink. “Mrs Y/l/n, if you really want to know-”
“Oh no. No, Javi, please. Please don’t encourage her.”
“We’re being safe. Having a family right now probably wouldn’t be the best move for either of us.”
Your mother just graced him with a soft smile. “Well, I’m glad to hear it.”
“I’m not,” you groaned a little. “Can we please change the conversation?”
“You know, she’s always been like this.” Your mom told Javi who only seemed to revel in your terror.
“Really? This isn’t a new thing?”
“No,” you mom told him. “She went just as red when I gave her the birds and the bees talk.”
“That’s because you decided to tell me in the middle of my middle school hallway during a Parent’s Evening.”
“And when I took her to the doctors to get her on the pill.”
You covered your face. “I’m in hell.”
Javi’s hand reached for your shoulder and shook you lightly as he sat on the arm of the chair beside you. You leaned into him.
“I’d finally got it out of her that she’d had sex and next-”
“And next thing I’m being wrangled into an office chair with the doctor having my mother shout from the rooftops her daughter was no longer a virgin.”
Your mom gasped. “It wasn’t like that,”
You leaned into your husband who’d just let out a small laugh. “Please make it stop.”
“Okay, I’ll drop it.”
“Thank you.”
“But I’m glad to know you’re being satisfied. Your face tells me more than you think.”
“Okay!” You stood up quickly and tried to run away, only to feel Javi’s hand reach out and pull you back, spinning you to stand by him. From the light red in his cheeks, he felt a little embarrassed, too, but he seemed to handle it a lot better than you.
He was chuckling. “Don’t think you’re able to run from this. I wanna know more about you from your mom.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to be here for it.” You tried to make a break for it again, but Javi caught you and for a moment, the rest of the room seemed to slowly disappear from sight as you found yourself trapped in his hands and arms, and his gaze on you, just as yours was on his. And for a moment, you wondered what it would be like if you kissed him.
Little did you know, he’d been thinking the exact same thing.
Then a timer went off.
“That’ll be the food.” Javi kissed a quick peck to your temple before standing and walking towards the kitchen, leaving your gaze to trail after him.
“You really do love each other,” your mom pointed out from her spot on the sofa. “I can see why you got married. You both need to tell me what your wedding was like!”
And so you did over dinner. With the added linger of whatever had happened when he’d pulled you closer to him.
You caught Javi looking at you a few times, and subsequently, he’d caught you, too. And, without rehearsal, you’d both managed to bullshit your way through explaining why you’d both decided to get married so quickly.
From you and Javi, your mother had learned you’d both met when you started in Columbia and you were both ‘friends’ for a while. Not much had to be lied about in that department. Javi’s reputation. Your “ability” to make every man that asked you out believe you were taken. How you’d worked together for a long time before becoming actual friends. Then the lies started…right?
About how you and Javi made a true friendship of sorts over the late nights working, swapping smaller stories until something changed.
“It was like…my heart had stopped and rebooted itself. Suddenly, everything felt like it had shifted and changed somehow.” Peña explained to your mom. “Nothing had ever been more…clearer and more daunting than ever.”
Then Javi looked at you, and you found a mirrored expression. Sadness? Confusion? Desperation? Fear? Realisation? You didn’t know what to call it, but whatever it was, you felt it. For some unknown reason, everything he’d just said rang true in your ears, your head and even your heart.
Nothing had ever been more clearer and more daunting than ever.
By the time your mom decided she was ready for bed, you were already fast asleep against Javi. At some point in the evening when he’d sat beside you, he’d slung his arm behind you and between the warmth and familiarity of him, you’d let yourself truly relax.
“I’ll walk you up.”
Your mom shook her head as Javi led her towards the door. “I know my way and you’re both tired. I’ll be okay. Get her to bed.”
Javi looked back at you for a moment and smiled.
“You really do love her.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Your mom smiled at her supposed son-in-law. “I understand why she fell for you, but I hope you know, just because you’re the first one of her boyfriends, well, husband now. But just because you’re the first I approve of, doesn’t mean I won’t be judging you. You look after her, and you look after her well. Love her everyday. It’s not every day someone gets to spend the rest of their lives with my daughter. I hope you see that as a privilege.”
Javi nodded. “Yes, ma’am, I do.”
Javi was telling the truth and your mom nodded. “Good. And thank you for dinner. Sleep well.”
“You, too, Mrs Y/l/n.”
Javi waited until he heard your apartment door lock before he shut his own, locked it and kicked off his shoes.
His socks padding his footsteps as he walked back to you, he was careful to pick you up before carrying you to bed and covering you up. You were still fast asleep by the time he climbed into bed beside you, but either way, you naturally rolled towards the slight dip in the bed before reaching out for him like you did almost every time he’d carried you to his bed because you’d fallen asleep in his apartment.
The only times he didn’t was when he fell asleep with you and woke up as the sun peeked through his blinds in his living room.
With a contented sigh, you slipped into a dreamless sleep beside him and for a few minutes, he laid awake, listening to your breathing. Then he let his mind slip back through the evening. If the funny feeling in his stomach and chest wasn’t what he hoped it was, but rather was what he suspected it to be, then he would have to soak up your actions as a married couple over the next couple of days before everything went back to semi-normal.
Because if he was right, and he was growing feelings for you, then these days would have to be enough. Your marriage with him and his marriage to you was meant to be for appearances, only. Nothing real was meant to come out of it, was it?
Because the feeling in his chest as he looked down at you, asleep by his side and in his arms…that feeling sure felt real.
Waking up in the morning, you felt more comfortable than usual. No creaky mattress spring giving you a sneak attack from beneath your sofa and into your back, no blinding light coming through curtains you’d forgotten to shut, no cold side to your bed as you turned over.
Instead, you felt warm. You found warmth.
Asleep on his front but his arm still across you, you found Javi. Fast asleep, seeming as though not even a gunshot would wake him.
And rather than jump out of bed or rollaway like you usually would when you found yourself in this position with any man, or even him going off the last couple of months.
You’d found yourself falling asleep countless times at Javi’s and the majority of the time, you woke up in his bed.
But waking that morning, especially after the night before, had something feeling different. So you took your time.
For the first time you…studied him.
You’d found yourself doing it more and more in recent months. How he sat in a chair, the look on his face when he was annoyed, amused, sometimes even scared.
And for the first time, maybe ever. He looked…
Peaceful.
As if it was a Sunday morning and neither of you had to get up for work. Like when he’d wake, you’d both spend the morning in bed before relaxing in your home.
And for a moment, you let yourself dream about that life. A life where there was no fear of maybe never coming home. A life where you could both…be peaceful. Happy.
Together, maybe?
After a few moments, you felt a gentle touch against your cheek, and slowly opening your eyes, you found Javi’s hand cupping your cheek, his fingers brushing soft patterns into your skin.
“Cariño…”
You smiled, finding comfort in the common nickname. “Hey.”
“You been awake long?”
You shook your head, softly. “Not long.”
“Good.” Javi then leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “Come here.”
Granting yourself permission to do as he said, Javi rolled over onto his back and pulled you into his side before he decided to ultimately face you.
Down your back, he traced a singular line back and forth as you both synced calming breaths and listened to the comfortable silence of the room.
“We could call in sick.” Javi said after ten minutes. “We’ve built up enough time to take the day off. You could show your mom ‘round.”
“We can’t,” you pointed out. “What about the case?”
“The case will still be there tomorrow. And besides, if something changes, they’ll call us in-”
Then you both heard the front door lock open.
“Javi-”
Pressing a finger to his lips, he sat up and so did you. Quietly, he moved over towards his bedside table and pulled out his gun before checking the bullets.
You both heard the door open and just as Javi was about to leap out of bed, you both heard your mother’s voice.
“Y/n? Javier? You two sleepy heads awake yet?!”
You let out a huge sigh of relief and sat back against Javi’s headboard. “Jesus Christ.”
“Your mom has a key?” Javi put his gun back and closed the draw as he looked back at you.
“I told you. Jessica Fletcher.” Then you called out to her. “Mom! We’re in here.”
Letting out a breath, Javi sat himself back beside you just as your mom walked into your bedroom. “Mom, you can’t just break in,” you told her, tiredly.
“I didn’t break in. I had a key.”
“Both of us could have shot you.”
Your mom looked over both of you and gave a coy smile. “Then it’s a good thing I called out then. You both look…well rested.”
It was too early to even pretend what she thought had happened, had happened. So, tearing your eyes from Javi, you looked to your mom. “Why are you here?”
“Because I have made breakfast for both of you since Javi cooked us such a wonderful dinner last night.”
“Mrs Y/l/n, you really didn’t-”
“Hush now. I was happy to do it. Now, chop chop.” Your mom clapped her hands. “There’s plenty of time for this,” she gestured to you, Javi and the bed, “later. Come on. Before the day is gone.”
And as she walked out, you felt yourself collapse into Javi’s sheets, already feeling your face go hot.
“She really doesn’t hold back, does she?”
“No.” Your voice was muffled through the sheets.
Ultimately, Javi convinced you to take the day off with him and after a homemade breakfast, yet another awkward conversation surrounding love-making in the shower – to which Javi nearly choked on his toast. Both you and Javi had showered (separately) before getting changed and deciding to show your mom around the different places in town.
And despite the stories shared by your mother; thankfully not all of them made you want a hole in the ground to open up the floor.
You also found spending the day with Javi, outside of work talk, to be more than pleasurable. With his hand in yours, or his arm around you, holding your own across your stomach, you’d both walked side by side for most of the day. He told your mom some things about Columbia even you didn’t know before, easily sharing some stories of his own childhood when your mom asked.
And you felt…glad, maybe? Like for the first time since moving to Columbia you were home. And it wasn’t just because your mom was there, but rather because of the person who stuck by your side all day, letting you see behind the personal walls he had up at work. The ones that, if you didn’t look closely, you wouldn’t know were even there.
Yet, despite the entire day feeling like one giant butterfly in your stomach at every touch, look and graze you felt from Javi, nothing made it feel like the tornado it was when your mom asked if she could film your ‘first dance’.
Dinner had been long over and the TV had shut down. In the background, a few different records played until one came on and your mother gasped.
“Oh, please. Please let me see your first dance. I love this song, and I’ve always imagined seeing you dance to it the way me and your dad do.”
From your side, Javi lifted his hand. It was up to you.
Looking at your mom’s face, you couldn’t say no. So, you nodded and both stood. Javi started the song from the beginning and turned back to face you. In a matter of moments, you were in his arms, your hand in his whilst your other lay on his arm. You could feel his firm hand at the bottom of your back, holding you up steadily.
Finally, leaning into each other, you could feel his moustache at the shell of your ear. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
That was when you found out Javi could dance. At the very least, much better than you could. He led you around the small section of the floor, your temple’s still touching and for a small moment, you closed your eyes.
You’d also both forgotten anybody else was in the room other than you two. Breathing, heartbeats, pulse, chemistry. It all became one.
And just as the song slowed, Javi lifted his head to look at you. It was like there was a new light to you in the fading sunlight. New features he’d never noticed before. The small freckles dotted across your face, probably having surfaced after a day in the sun. The soft streaks of baby hairs framing your face. The arch and bow of your cupid’s bow and lips. The light flush in your cheeks as for a moment, he caught your eyes doing the same thing he was.
Looking. Gazing. Studying. All to commit it to memory.
Javier Peña, for as best as he’d known, he’d never been so scared in all of his life. But there was one final thing he wanted to commit to memory, whether it be good or bad. And if he didn’t do it then, he was afraid he never would. So, for the first time with you, he did what he wanted to do because, and he hoped, by the look on your face, you wanted it, too.
With the final few notes of the song, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips. It was firm, steady, strong and then softer. The kind of kiss that you feel long after it’s over. Silence washed over the room as the record came to an end and you and Javi found yourselves looking at each other, only realising you weren’t alone when your mom gasped.
“Oh, that was just beautiful.” She stopped the recording. “Thank you so much for doing that for me.”
You and Javi seemed to step away from each other despite it being the last thing either of you wanted to do in that moment. It wasn’t long after that your mom decided to go upstairs to bed. And once Javi heard the door lock upstairs, he locked his own and took a moment before turning back around to find you.
But you were already trying to avoid the conversation that came next.
Javi took his time. You both needed a moment to find clarity. After the faucet had been running for a few minutes, only to be switched off by you as you washed the plates in the bowl of soapy water, Javi stood at the kitchen door.
He watched you for a moment, wondering what to say. What just happened? I’m sorry? He didn’t mean for it to…be that way? Did you feel it, too? Did you want it, too? Did he cross a line?
Then he realised he didn’t have to say anything at all.
You felt him before you heard him walk slowly across the kitchen floor and stand by your side. With a gentle hand guiding your arm, he spun you to face him and in the silence, your faces shared a thousand words between each other.
Javi brushed your hair from your face before gently cupping your face. It took enough time between each of his movements to let you object if you wanted to. You stepped closer into him.
Then he kissed you.
Having dropped the sponge into the sink, you felt yourself tumble against him as your own hands came to pull him closer towards you. Things seemed to move slightly quicker than before. His hands moving down your body to eventually lift you up and move you onto the counter top, his fingers pushing their way through your hair as your own pulled him in by his collar to kiss you once more.
With your legs wrapping around his waist, securing him against you, you let out a small sigh behind your kiss. Javi only chased those small noises more after you made your first one.
“J-Javi.” You managed to find your voice in between his kisses. “Wait.”
He stopped, forcing himself to pull his lips from yours. And for a moment, all you could hear was his breathing and your heartbeat. Both rapid. Both unsteady.
“We…we shouldn’t…”
His hands still tangled in your hair and his forehead against yours, he shook his head in agreement. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
All either of you could do was breathe. Slowly. Trying to catch some form of air that was at least a close equivalent to the others.
Kissing you was like a lifeline, and without you he was dying.
His eyes finally gazing into yours, he found your own tracing his face, already reminiscing on the kiss, wanting more.
Kissing him was like life was finally being pushed back into your lungs, letting you breathe clearly for the first time and without him, nothing was in focus.
“Fuck it.”
His lips on yours again, he began to devour you and your taste. He could feel your hands pulling him closer to you, like if you’d let go of him, you’d drown.
He needed you more than he wanted to admit.
But you didn’t want him to hold back. So leaning away from his kiss for a moment, you made sure he focused on you.
“Bedroom.”
He was still drunk on your kiss. “Javi, I’m not fucking you on the kitchen counter. Bedroom.”
His lips curved onto a smirk as he pulled you towards the edge and lifted you up.
“Didn’t anyone tell you we’re married? Cariño, it’s called making love.”
You laughed and so did he before it was muffled out by another kiss.
By the time morning rolled around, you found yourself wrapped in Javi’s arms, his scent swirling around your senses, locking it into a memory you’d never forget. Even if you wanted to move, you couldn’t. From the arms wrapped around you, to the soreness in your legs, your body was too happily exhausted to move.
For the next few moments, you watched as he slept peacefully. His mouth parted slightly, simply looking at his mustache made you blush at the memories from barely a few hours previous. Tracing the curves of his face, you leaned over and pressed a light kiss to his cheek.
His arms twitched around you. “Javi, I need to use the bathroom.”
Still half asleep, he returned the next kiss you pressed to his lips before mumbling; “Come back.”
“I will,” you kissed him once more before climbing out of bed and heading towards the bathroom.
Whilst in the bathroom, you picked up the long forgotten towels on the floor and picked up the tossed body washes and shampoo bottles from Javi and your haphazard entry into the bathroom after the first two orgasms before the third.
However, you must have taken too long because as you stood at the bathroom skin, a newly familiar pair of arms made their way from holding your hips, to cradling around your waist.
You could feel the hair from his moustache as he kissed your bare shoulder, making his way towards your neck where you leaned back against his chest and placed a hand behind his own neck to hold you steady.
“Javi.”
One of his hands slowly made its way under your top before running his fingers from the top of your chest, across your breast and down below the waistband of your shorts.
“I missed you.” His tongue dampened the graze of his teeth against your neck.
“Javi.”
“Is this okay, baby?”
You bit your lip, your hips bucking against his fingers, chasing the pressure he was beginning to swirl around your clit. You hummed a response.
“I need your words, baby. Is this okay? Do you want this? Because I can stop.”
You shook your head quickly and wrapped your hand around his wrist before he pulled away any further. “No. Don’t stop.”
“Whatever you say, baby.”
With his fingers circling your clit and his mouth having free range of your neck, you felt your knees grow weak. “Want me to stop?”
Again, you shook your head. “I need…I need more, Javi.”
“How many, baby?”
“Two, ohh…” Your mouth opened and you threw your head back against his shoulder, reveling in his fingers slipping inside your cunt and his thumb applied pressure to your clit. Then you heard him chuckle.
“Asshole.”
“You fucking love it, baby.”
You did. You really did. It wasn’t long before Javi could feel your walls pulsing against his fingers, growing tighter for him. And his dick hadn’t even left his pants yet.
“You’re so fucking wet, cariño. This for me?”
You found the strength to nod. “Just for you, Javi baby.”
But whatever strength or control you had left disappeared as the wave began to crash over you and you chased Javi’s fingers as they pumped deeper and faster inside of you. “Ride ‘em, baby. Take what you want.”
You moaned his name, almost chanting it as you came over his fingers. “Fuck,” Javi growled. “You’re so fucking hot when you come.”
Letting out a breathy laugh, you felt the ache in your legs, still leaning against Javi.
“Then maybe you should do it again.”
Sharing a look with Javi, he smirked before biting down on your bottom lip, then kissing it better. Pulling his fingers from inside of you, he slowly spun you around by your hips until you faced him. Once he’d tasted everything he could from your mouth, he teasingly made his way across your jaw, down the length of your neck, under your clothing before pulling your soaked shorts down your legs, leaving your glistening and sensitive cunt for him to see.
Then he tasted the rest of you.
Pushing you onto the edge of the sink counter, you white-knuckled the edges in fear of gripping his hair too tight to pull him closer to where you needed him.
You could feel the burn of his moustache against your inner thighs, panty-line before finally his tongue circled your already sensitive clit.
“Fuck, Javi.”
“You like that, baby?”
You nodded, “Fuck. Yeah.”
“Want more?”
“Y…yes. Javi, please.” Your hips bucked as you chased the feeling of his tongue licking your pussy. “Fuck, Javi.” You let out a gasp as his tongue dipped inside of you for a moment. “Fuck, right…right there.” With one of your hands tangled in his hair, you pushed him closer in order to taste all of you.
And just as you leaned back to grant him more access, he pulled back. You whimpered, wanting him back. “Touch yourself.”
“Javi-”
“I want to see how long you can hold it before I fuck you. Touch yourself.”
So you did. All the while watching him take his sweet time watching you as he pulled down his own underwear and pulled a condom on, pumping himself a couple of times before finally settling closer to you.
“I want to watch you cum again.” And so he did.
Filling you with his dick, inch by inch, he felt you stretch around him, swearing as you took him in. And then he took his time with you. Reveling in every needy buck of your hips, chasing his dick before he couldn’t hold back anymore. He needed you just as much as you were begging for him.
Moaning his name over and over as your orgasm hit you, Javi watched as you came over his dick, him finishing not long after you did.
Sweaty and covered in sex, Javi pushed the fallen hair from your face and kissed your lips after the silence had settled away from heavy breathing and racing hearts. “We should get cleaned up.”
Pulling his cock from inside of you, he disposed of the condom before walking towards the shower and turning it on. And over the next forty minutes, Javi’s hands were all over your naked body before his fingers tugged at your hair as the tiles of the floor made indents in your knees. By the time you’d both finished, gotten washed and finally dressed, Javi was changing the sheets as you placed the ones from the night before inside his washer.
For the rest of the day, Javi rarely left your side.
Going back out to the markets with your mom, his hands were constantly finding ways to touch you. His hand pinching onto the skirt of your summer dress, his fingers grazing against your hip and lower back as he changed from standing on one side of you to the other. Holding your hand around you, his arm across your shoulders, his lips in your hair, on the shell of your ear as he talked to you. And when you’d stopped inside a cafe, he sat next to you, his arm across the back of your chair which practically was sitting in between his legs as his body was constantly turned towards you.
And when you’d both finally gotten home, your mom saying she was going for a nap, the moment Javi’s door shut, the bags were dropped and your back was against the wall of his hallway, his lips on yours. “I’ve been wanting to do that all day.”
“So have I.”
Then a question fell from your lips. “How are we going to keep this up? At work, I mean.”
“They already think we’re married.” He kissed your neck.
“I’m being serious, Javi.”
“So am I.”
“Javi, Messina already warned us what would happen if she ever caught us. And that was before we were even…” A couple? Fucking? Dating? Married?
Javi smiled. “So we keep it a secret.”
“Says the guy who can’t keep his hands off me for more than two seconds. You’ll never be able to keep it a secret.”
“Says the woman whose been eye-fucking me all day. Are you sure you can keep a secret?”
“I can keep a secret.” Then Javi noticed your coy smile. “In fact, I’ve been keeping one all day.”
Taking his hand in yours, you pressed his hand to the dip of your hips. He couldn’t feel anything but fabric. Then it hit him. With his chest flaring and his dick hardening, he stepped closer towards you.
“Mrs Peña…have you been naked under that dress all day?”
You bit your lip. “Why don’t you find out for yourself?”
His eyes flicking to the hem of your dress, he looked back up at you before slowly dragging the fabric of its skirt up and bunching it in his hand until he could slip his hand under it. And when he was met with bare skin, he swore.
“Fuck.”
“I’ve been hoping you’d fuck me all day,” you admitted. “I wanted to be ready.”
“Since you walked out of that fucking bedroom in this dress…I’ve wanted to fuck you in it.”
Pulling him closer to you, your voice turned into a low whisper. “Then you better get on with it, Agent Peña. Before I do it myself.”
He didn’t have to be told twice. Capturing your lips on his, his finger coaxed at your pussy, already feeling your wetness build for him. As his fingers began to curl inside of you, you let out a moan before your fingers deftly unbuckled his belt and jeans. Javi let out a small whimper as your fingers stroked down his cock, wiping the pre-cum away with your thumb before finally pumping him a few times.
“Take it easy, baby. Otherwise I’m not gonna- fuck.”
With one hand, Javi picked you up where you stood, his fingers digging into your ass before he guided his tip in. Letting out a moan by his ear, you told him to start moving.
“Fill me up, baby.”
And he did.
Fucking you against the wall in his hallway, Javi pulled the top of your summer dress down and began leaving his mark across your collarbone and down the bow of your breast, all the while his cock pumped in and out of you before filling you up with him cum.
“That’s it baby,” Javi told you as you screamed his name as you rode his dick. Then he watched you come. He’d never get sick of that sight. It seemed to get hotter each time. You begging him for more, your moans, his name falling from your lips as he makes you unravel completely.
But he wasn’t done with you yet. Pulling out from you, he moved you both down the hallway and towards the sofa where he made you come again before moving into the kitchen where he finally fucked you senseless on the kitchen counter.
Both of you wished it could have continued like that forever, but sadly after your shower, both you and Javi were interrupted by the jingle of keys in the door as your mom let herself in before you and Javi could continue your heavy make-out session on the sofa.
But that was something you both had to get used to.
Interruptions.
From people banging on the copier room door thinking it was jammed, to people walking back into the office after their lunch breaks. But despite the ever growing need to constantly be touching him, or him touching you, you’d both found subtler ways to show how much you not only wanted each other, but also needed each other.
From the smaller touches when he always found an excuse to stand beside you, to the ever longing looks you both gave to each other as the other one walked away from the desks. There were crappy cups of coffee always being poured, lunches being made and shared, blankets being used to cover up the one that fell asleep first, the knowing looks when a case load became too much, the soft moments spent after a long day of work just laying together on the sofa watching crappy TV and falling asleep, dancing to slower records on down-days, quick kisses goodbye during lunch or during a stakeout for cases, jealous and warning glares being given to those who tried to flirt with the other, and finally slow Sunday mornings that were spent inside the apartment, neither of you leaving unless for a dire emergency.
And somewhere between all of that, you and Javi had taken a flight to your home where your family and his watched as you both swore actual wedding vows to each other; your wedding party not realising it was the first time for both of you.
Maybe it had taken a while for you both to come together, and maybe it wasn’t the most conventional of get-togethers. But it was yours and Javi’s story. One that, the more you thought about it, started off with those softer moments. One that always had, and always would, contain those smaller touches and simple gestures.
#javier pena#javier pena x reader#javi pena#pena x you#agent pena#agent pena x you#agent pena x reader#xfe!reader#fluff#falling in love#narcos#javier pena narcos#javier peña x reader#javier peña narcos#javier peña#pedro pascal#kissing#nicknames#smut#javier pena smut#javier pena x you#agent pena smut
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the apple that rolled over to the tree
!! fluff; f!reader; parenthood!!; simon-centric hehe >:3 // divider by @/plutism!
there is a… kid attached to your hip when simon returns home from a mission, his exhausted body stumbling into the kitchen where he finds you and it.
“what—”
he can’t even fathom the emotion coursing through him at the moment, what with shock triumphing over everything. still, you’d probably need to give him credit for not losing his goddamn mind at seeing a whole child — he couldn’t have been more than two years old with how he’s only three apples tall — clinging to you like a baby koala.
“oh my god, you’re back!” you squeal, unfazed at how dumbfounded your fiance has become, before shuffling close to embrace him.
simon reciprocates the hug anyway.
you step back, your lips still wobbling in your tears as you stare up at him, all awed like you couldn’t believe that he was back and simon wishes he can press his promises to your lips because he will always find a way to come back, he swears on his life, but also—
the child.
“sweetheart?” he begins, soft as to not spook you or the kid. “who’s, uh, who’s that?”
the child shifts, turning his little face from where it was burrowed onto your neck at the sound of simon’s voice. he rests his head on your clavicle, smooshing his already chubby cheek, before the biggest brown eyes that simon’s ever seen stare up at him, all doe-eyed and jarringly innocent, and simon, he—
well, not even babysitting tommy’s kids prepared him for this.
“this is yasha,” you murmur, pulling simon’s attention back to you. “or yakov, or james if he would want an english name.”
the boy reacts to you calling his name, and simon watches as those curious eyes tip up at you in question. you swipe your finger over his nose, the little thing scrunching up at the ticklish feeling, and simon becomes breathless at seeing the unadulterated joy in your face.
it is all parts soft and tender, but also anxious and worried, and simon begins to puzzle out the pieces.
“he’s my foster child. or ours, i guess, now that you’re here.” your voice is so fragile as you reply to him, your hand now beginning to rub soothing nothings on the boy’s back. simon wonders if it’s more to calm yourself down than it is to comfort the boy.
your lips purse, hesitating, and simon waits because while he he’s pieced out what you want to ask, he knows that this is something you would want to truly talk to him about. it is something he knows you have mustered up the courage to bring up so he gives it to you, open and ready, and he hopes that his face and his gait show that whatever it is you would want to say, simon will always support you no matter what.
“si?” you begin, looking heart-wrenchingly small in your worry. “i think i wanna adopt him.”
simon hums, stepping close but also being careful not to crowd yasha, before he curls his arms around you two — his family — and nuzzles his face on your other shoulder. “i’d love that.”
he offers you a smile, and squeezes your arm in comfort, then he watches as the tears come, easily springing up from your eyes. yasha startles, whirling to look up at his mother in worry. simon’s throat constricts at the thought of you being a mother and him, a father; how, now, there is someone else for simon to come home to. someone to fight for.
jesus. he’d need to tell the lads and maybe get wasted as a celebration.
“owies?” yasha asks, chubby fist balling your shirt.
“they’re happy tears, sweetie pie,” you reply, crooning. “i’m just so, so happy.”
yasha hums, nodding, probably already distracted, and simon takes that time to straighten back up. he pushes your hair away from your face, before he pitches forward to press a kiss on your forehead.
yeah, he’s happy too.
.
yasha gets spoiled, not that simon’s complaining given that he’s been the one doing all the spoiling.
“really, si? a new toly?” you ask, arms crossed over your chest in your exasperation.
toly or anatoly, or tory because yasha still can’t speak properly, is the name that yasha gave to all of his new stuffed toys. it all started with a dog plush that simon bought from the supermarket on a whim and gave to the boy. it was laughably quick how yasha had abandoned his blocks to make grabby hands to the toy, before squealing out that name.
the next stuffed toy that yasha received, which was just the softest and roundest penguin plush toy that simon’s ever seen, was also named toly. so was that teddy bear you bought for him. or that reindeer he got for christmas. somehow, every single one had been named toly.
the only thing you and simon can find about toly was that anatoly means sunrise. simon was so sure it was the russian word for animal, because why else would yasha repeat it, but who would have thought that their little fish is so imaginative?
like, of course he’s going to name all of his toys toly because they are as warm as sunrises. see? smart kid.
but this one, this new toly, set off world records. it was a camel plush that simon saw at the airport when he was out, pretending to be a civilian.
(garrick had been assigned with him for that mission, and was quick to spot and mention simon’s on-duty purchase.
“it’s for my boy,” he grunted in reply, forgetting the fact that he’s yet to truly break the news to his squad. garrick had never looked as surprised, and next thing simon knew, the news made its way to their group chat.
price was amiable about the whole thing. mactavish? not so much.
he just about begged to see a picture of yasha — “and yer girl again, if you wouldn’t mind.” — or even visit him. then he invited garrick to come and price invited himself too, so now the guys are going to swing by some time soon.)
when simon gave it to yasha, their boy had stared at it for a solid minute — simon counted — before screaming and then running to snatch the toy from simon’s hold. he hugged the camel close to his person, his little head nuzzling against the plush face of the camel, all the while absolutely vibrating in unabashed excitement.
he picked up thundering footsteps and turned around just enough to see you literally slide into the room. yasha continued to hug the camel, ignorant of the distress he caused, while you looked on in your panic, buzzing with worry because you just heard your boy scream, damn it!
“he’s fine, bub,” simon said before you could ask, and he watched as you came down from your frenzy, your breathing slowing down at the rationalization that if simon was not panicked, then everything’s alright.
then, your eyes landed on the new stuff toy.
“really?” you asked.
in his defence, yasha adores camel-toly.
in your defence, yasha’s room is running out of space for his tolys.
…well, simon does have all that military money. gonna have to spend it on something else, right?
.
[charlie foxtrot]
sriley: link
john2: ????
sriley: new address.
garry: oh? congratulations.
sriley: thanks.
johnp: 👍
.
yasha was shy when saying hi to price, then outright cried when he saw mactavish, which made simon bark out loud in laughter. yasha only stopped sniffling when he saw kyle. in no time, yasha absolutely adored garrick to the point that he would not even let him go.
dinner was prepared and while you called them all to eat, simon ambled out of the kitchen, where he had been helping you, and walked towards kyle and yasha to pick up his son and seat him on his high chair. but yasha had only looked at him, his head tilted in question, before ignoring simon and clinging onto kyle.
hell, he had even let go of camel-toly so that he could use two chubby fists to hold onto kyle. surprised, simon didn’t even know how to react and watched as his sergeant offered him an apologetic smile before carrying his son to the dining room. kyle rounded the table and sat yasha on his high chair, only, yasha made a scene when kyle did so, and he released a lungful of screams and cries, breaking everyone’s eardrums and their hearts.
kyle stood there, worried and confused, and hovered because he did not know what to do. hell, none of them did, and then you walked out of the kitchen, rushing to yasha, and hummed songs to comfort your son.
you crooned when he made grabby hands to be picked up and you did so with no hesitation, your touch soothing the boy into quiet sniffles. but even then, yasha wouldn’t settle down as he wriggled in your arms, short limbs reaching for—
simon glowered.
yasha was reaching for kyle. you were quick to giggle, asking kyle if it was alright that yasha would eat with him, and simon had glared at his sergeant, daring him to deny their son of anything, before reluctantly nodding his approval at kyle’s happy trill of, “of course, ma’am!”
yasha had finally calmed down when you sat him on kyle’s lap, and his boy was even polite enough to actually eat his soft veggies every time kyle beckoned him to open his mouth for a new spoonful.
simon did not startle, but it was close, when your hand landed on his thigh.
“you okay, baby?” you asked, eyes furrowed in your worry.
“yeah,” he remembers replying with, his throat all choked-up because he knows yasha must be excited to have new people to play with, but still, there was something that stung when his boy chose garrick over him.
not that it was kyle’s fault because he is a dear for even doing all that he did for yasha, but simon had hoped that he would always be yasha’s favourite.
too lost in his thoughts, simon had almost missed yasha’s call.
“-ddy? daddy?” yasha asked, startling simon.
it was not the first time yasha called him that, but every time he did, it never fails to make simon melt.
“yeah? what’s up, buddy?”
simon pretended that no one was watching the interaction.
yasha giggled, hiding his food-smeared lips behind his little palms, before turning to use garrick’s front to hide from simon. you snorted, murmuring to kyle how you swear you would wash his shirt before they go, but it’s all buzz to simon because his son — his darling boy — wanted to play with him during dinner.
yasha peeked at him again, before giggling once more when he caught simon’s eyes. this continued on until dinner ended, with simon occasionally miming growling monsters to induce more hearty giggles from his son, and being rewarded with the happiest laughter ever.
simon turned to you, with his heart on his throat, and beamed.
“aww,” mactavish sang from somewhere beside him. “ain’t that adorable— argh!”
simon had swung his arm out and thumped his fist on johnny’s stomach. thank god, yasha had chosen that time to hide his face again on kyle’s stomach.
.
“unca’ john?” yasha asks in a stage-whisper because everyone within earshot just heard him even with his attempt to be quiet. it’s only their training that stopped simon from acting like he’s noticed.
“yeah, bubsy?” john replies, sounding so utterly soft that this version of him is so foreign to simon.
“this tory,” yasha says and simon discreetly peeks to see which toly is being introduced to uncle john — it’s the elephant one.
price gasps theatrically like he hadn’t seen yasha drool all over this elephant toy before, and puffs out, “how cute!”
“mhmm,” yasha says, nodding, then smacks the face of the toy on john’s face. the trunk smooshes against john’s nose, and thank god that elephant-tory is soft because that aim would have been lethal if it wasn’t.
“jesus—” price gasps out.
“language!” simon hisses, and ducks his head back down just before yasha could catch him peeking.
.
yasha is now four and he still gets teary eyed when he sees johnny. simon placates his friend and says it’ll pass soon. maybe.
basically, i wanted to write a fic wherein simon’s reaction to being presented with a child is “what— oh okay, sure why not” and (literally in 20 minutes) “i will kill everything for this child” and so here we are
a simon spinoff - it takes a rampage (to be a dad)
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley fluff#simon riley#simon riley x reader#suns
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LITTLE SECRET | spiderman!jungwon



pairing: spiderman!jungwon x fem!reader
synopsis: where the charming college heartthrob yang jungwon has a couple more secrets than you might’ve thought.
warnings: use of alcohol, cursing, suggestive
words: 6.5k
a/n: happy new year!! this took way longer than i expected, i hope you’re as obsessed with the idea of spidey jungwon as much as me hehe.
taglist: @harukayoiiiiiiizzz @ikeulove @ribbioniki @hollxe1 @shiroolikesfish @wonnie99 @lunaritex @aloloveswonie @meowwons @enlysia @wonys-won @cryjungwon @yizhoutv @engenediary @firstclassjaylee @heeseungmyman @jovibaes @ilovejungwonandhaechan @candyhere @yamagucccii @jungwonbropls @bamguetismee @wnyloves @cralessia
“Okay, fuck, marry or kill between Thor, Iron man and… Captain America, who do you choose?” You laugh hearing your friend’s nonsense. Not even a couple of drinks in and everyone is already tipsy enough to make stupid questions like that. Still, Yunah seems so proud of starting this game that you cant really blame her.
“Oh damn, that’s hard.” Yunjin says, taking a couple of minutes to think about the answer. You like night like this, Heeseung’s small apartment is perfect for your group’s gatherings, there’s not many of you anyway, and you enjoy the company of your friends and the slight bitter taste of alcohol while you play.
“I guess i’d kill Iron man, fuck thor and marry cap?” Yunjin’s answer makes both Jay and Jake stand up. “oh hell no, team iron man forever.” You laugh again, and rest your back against the window, drink in your hands. There’s something so comforting about these little things that you cant help but be happy even hearing them get into stupid arguments like that. “Whatever! Whatever, Y/n, what do you think?”
You raise your eyebrows, not expecting to be the next one. You raise your eyes to the ceiling, trying your best to think about the options and the words to say to not let anyone jump at you. “Well, i guess i’d marry Thor? Fuck Iron man and kill Captain America.” “Wow. You’re a disappointment, just as i thought.” You roll your eyes jokingly before taking another sip out of your drink, a smirk on your lips while once again everyone starts to argue about team cap or team iron man.
You dont join in on that, Jake is loud enough to compensate for it, and to be completely honest, the alcohol does makes you too dizzy to keep up. You look around, mostly paying attention to the beanbag where Yunah is sitting on, since you want to steal that so damn bad. Yunjin, Jay and Jake are all standing up, hands moving and their voices getting higher each time someone says something even more stupid. Heeseung should be in the kitchen with Jungwon, probably making more drinks, even if we already had way too many.
Speaking of which, you notice Jungwon coming in the living room, a little smile on his lips as he hears the conversation, a tray full of snacks and drinks in his hand. He puts it down on the coffee table and your eyes meet for a single second, you smile at him, as if thanking him for the snacks. “What about spiderman?” He asks the group, and everyone is silent at that, all the attention towards the blonde boy.
You barely register what he says, too focused on looking at him and admiring him to really pay attention. How long have you had a crush on him? Technically, its only been a couple of years, but because of the blip you do really feel like he’s had you in a chokehold for centuries. And ever since he dyed his hair blonde you cant really stop looking at him, he looks ethereal, he looks like a doll, and from this side you can clearly see the perfect outline of his nose and-
“Y/n? Earth calls y/n are you here?” You blink a couple of times, your ears probably becoming red at the realization that everyone in the room saw you staring at Jungwon so much you couldn’t even hear what they said. “Yes? What? I’m sorry I- Yeah, you were saying?” This is embarrassing, but its not like its the first time this happens either. “We were talking about spiderman, and you’re the only one who saw him, so what do you think of him?”
You furrow your brows, trying to recall the last time you saw the hero they’re talking about. Its not like you talked to him, but if it wasnt for spiderman, a whole house would’ve collapsed on you and you surely wouldn’t be here to tell this story again. Its been a couple of months since that accident, and you can only remember the feeling of his broad shoulders covering you and that familiar scent that you still haven’t been able to connect to something. “He’s… cool i guess? I’d still choose Thor over him though.”
Jungwon laughs at your words and looks at your way before sitting on the couch, and thats enough to make your heart flutter again. You try to not look too long, not wanting to repeat that embarrassing moment just a second ago, but your chest really is about to explode. “I guess its hard to beat a god, uh?” You shrug your shoulders, to be completely fair, you’re not a fan of heroes as much as your friends are so all of this talk to you is just boring talk.
Later into the night you’re sitting on Heeseung’s bed, your back on the headboard. The apartment isnt too big, he does indeed have his bed in the living room, but to you that’s what makes it cozy. Jay is sleeping on the beanbag, Jake and Heeseung are playing some kind of game you dont know meanwhile Yunah and Yunjin left not too long ago, the only reason you’re still here is because Jay is supposed to be your ride home, but you dont know how possible that’s going to be now.
Jungwon notices you and sits next to you with his usual smile, a little too close. Your shoulders brush, making you stiffen for a second. You have to remind yourself that Jungwon and you have been friends long before you developed this absurd crush on him, he’s easy to talk to, there’s no reason to get so nervous around him, and so you relax, just a little. “So… you dont like spiderman?” You giggle at that, lately Jungwon has been obsessed with that guy, he keeps bringing him up, as if he knows him personally.
“That’s not what I said.” You turn your head just to look at him, regretting it almost immediately. He’s really close and you didn’t even realize how you’re basically whispering, as if the other three can even hear you. “Yeah but you still choose Thor! Isnt he like… a thousand years old?” You look at him with your eyebrows raised, you can smell the littlest tint of alcohol in him, he doesn't look drunk, but he’s definitely tipsy enough to continue this conversation.
“Jungwon, if I didn’t know you, I would think you either have a crush on spiderman or you’re trying to set me up with him.” He laughs at your words, and you can't help but smile even more, your heart fluttering looking at his face, the way dimples show up on his cheeks and his chuckles are so crystal clear in your head. “Eh, maybe you just don't know me enough.” You grimace at that, your nose scrunching up, making him smile again.
To be completely honest, it does feel like that sometimes. You and Jungwon have been friends for a while, but lately… He’s been acting weird, as if something happened to him that transformed him into a completely different person, or maybe he just has more secrets than you think. You look at Jay, still soundly sleeping on the beanbag. Its so late into the night, and you do have a couple of projects to work on tomorrow, so you better walk back home if you want to be productive.
You get up and start picking your things up; Jungwon furrows his brows at that, before putting two and two together and realizing that you’re going home. “Hey. Isnt Jay your ride home?” You shrug, you really dont have time to wait for him to wake and sober up. “I dont live too far, i’ll just walk back home.” “I’ll go with you.” You raise your head at that, your heart beating so hard it might explode any minute. Did Yang Jungwon just offer to walk you home?
“There’s really no need to-“ But before you can even finish your sentence, Jungwon is putting his coat on and your cheeks become red, this is really happening. “Its three in the morning; i’m not letting you go alone.” You have to bite your inner cheeks to not smile too hard. You just nod at him and then finally get ready to go, you say bye to Heeseung and Jake before walking out.
You totally get why Jungwon is so well liked; he’s kind, funny, caring, and so handsome. It’d be weird not to. He walks on your right, as if to keep you protected from the few cars strolling around at this hour, and he’s so close to you that your shoulders and hands keep brushing against each other’s. It's cold outside, being January, and what you’re wearing isn't doing much to help you, but he’s already doing a lot, so you can't find it in yourself to ask him for his jacket.
Your house isnt too far, you had simply asked Jay because you know better than walk back home alone and drunk at night, and you’re glad Jungwon thinks the same as you. “I’m glad you’re back.” You say, getting surprised at your own words. Jungwon had been away for that Stark project for geniuses or whatever that was, and you could totally feel his absence. “I wasnt gone for long, though.”
You giggle quietly, definitely embarrassed now. “Guess i just like having you around then.” He looks at you as he smiles. Yunah and Yunjin have been telling you for weeks, they think that Jungwon might reciprocate your crush, but you’re not too sure about it. Him staying for so long during hangouts is a rare occasion, usually he finds some excuse to leave early or he just doesnt show up at all.
You reach your house and stop right in front of your door, Jungwon looks at you while you search for your keys inside your bag. You giggle when you find them, embarrassed by how long that took and, before opening the entrance, you look at him again, a gulp in your throat. You hesitate, your fingers tightening around the key in your hand. Should you just ask him to come in? Would that be too bold or… you know what, fuck it.
“Do you… want to come in? Its late and you live pretty far..” You bite your lips, hoping that doesnt sound too straightforward. Does it sound like you’re begging him to stay? Jungwon eyes seem to light up for a second, he’s about to speak when he suddenly stops, as if distracted by something. He looks at you again, this time he seems guilty. “I- I’d love that Y/n but i really have to go now..”
Your mouth opens to form a little ‘o,’ but you try to hide the disappointment with a smile on your face, you nervously put a strand of hair behind your ear, and the more you look at him the more he looks like he’s in a rush. Oh, he must really hate your idea. “Yeah! No, of course, sure! You must have a lot of things to do at 3 AM." You want to slap yourself at your own words. He gets closer to you and for a second you think he’s about to kiss you or hug you, but instead he just opens the door for you. “Go inside, its getting cold.”
As if the disappointment and embarrassment from last night wasnt enough, its like luck wasnt on your side either. You just wanted to hide and never look at Jungwon in the face ever again after yesterday, but of course the universe had another plan. You look down as the professor tells you that you have to find a tutor for maths and physics if you want to pass his exam. “Honestly, Y/n. This exam is really important for your career, i can help you find a good tutor like…” The professor looks behind you and points his finger towards a student, and you dont really have the courage to look back and see who it is.
“Oh! perfect timing. Come here, Jungwon!” Your eyes widen when you hear that name and you turn to look at the guy. Jungwon walks towards you and the professor with a gentle smile on his face, his hair is a bit of a mess and you notice he’s not wearing his backpack. You furrow your brows, he looks like he just finished a marathon. “Jungwon is the best of the class, i’m sure he can help you, right?”
Jungwon looks confused now, the professor gets next to him and pats his back, you honestly just want to hide, he doesnt look too happy with the idea of being your tutor and you just hope that the reason is not because of you trying to flirt with him last night. Before he can say no, you jump into the discussion. “I- I’m sure Jungwon is busy with that Stark stuff, i can find someone else its really not a big deal.”
“No! No i can do it! I can be your tutor, yeah..” This is awkward, definitely more than you could’ve imagined. You and Jungwon just look at each other and the tension in the room is so dense that you could probably cut it with a knife. The professor laughs and pats both your and Jungwon’s back lightly. “Sure, you figure it out! Just make sure you’re ready for the exam, Y/n.” And that said he takes his stuff and says bye, leaving the both of you alone in the class.
“You dont have to do it..” You say, after a couple of seconds of silence. You’re putting your things back in your bag, trying really hard to not just look too much at him, fearing of the reaction your heart might get from that. “No, no, i really want to. And honestly, there’s not really anyone better than me so..” He chuckles at his own words, but you just crack a little smile, closing your bag before looking back at him. “Let’s do at five today? in the library.”
You’re pleasantly surprised by his willingness to actually help you. You nod at his words, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, your bag on your shoulder. “Sure. Thank you, Jungwon.” He takes a couple more seconds to just look at you, and you start to feel almost self conscious at that. Maybe you got something in your hair? Something stuck on your teeth? Or even worse maybe you just smell bad and the perfume you’re wearing didn’t cover it up, or-
Before you can keep on overthinking about your appearance, Jungwon just ruffles your hair, a smile on his face as he does that and right now you can only hope and pray that your cheeks are staying a normal color, because you definitely feel hot as hell right now. “See you later, Pretty.” Pretty. He called you pretty. Wait, did he really just do that? You don’t even have the time to realize what just happened that he’s gone. Leaving you alone and on fire in this cold class.
You spend the rest of the day just waiting, and waiting, and waiting for five to come, you even got back home just to change into some cuter clothes. You dont want to make it look like you’re doing too much, its Jungwon after all, it would be weird. So a pair of wide leg jeans and a black top is cute enough. You arrive at the library five minutes early, just to make sure you can get a nice spot and take your things out before he arrives. But he doesn’t.
You know Jungwon, he does have a problem with timing, so you wait. The first fifteen minutes you dont think much of it, he’s always late after all. Then half an hour passes and you actually start to get angry, its already dark outside and you dont intend to wait for him all evening. But you do that anyway.
The initial anger transforms into worry when you overhear a couple of girls talking about how Spiderman was just seen fighting a bunch of criminals off, maybe he got involved in the fight? But thats really not something Jungwon would do. After an hour and a half of waiting you actually feel sad. He either forgot or didn’t care at this point. He didnt reply to your worried texts, nor did he call to tell you he was busy with something else.
You couldnt even concentrate on the physics book, too worried and sad to really be thinking about whatever is written there. Two hours pass, and the library is about to close so you just pack your things back and decide to walk back home, headphones in, and really, the last thing you want right now is sabrina carpenter in your ears singing about getting dicked down, but thats all your spotify wants you to listen apparently.
As if your day couldnt get worse, it starts raining, and the only thing covering you is the hood of the jacket you’re wearing, of course you left your umbrella home, you were so busy thinking about getting cute for Jungwon that you didnt even think about the important stuff. You sniffle with your nose at the thought of it, not really wanting to cry about something so stupid, but at the same time your throat is starting to hurt, and its already raining, so you might as well.
You’re close to your house when suddenly you cant feel the rain anymore, and for a second you actually think it stopped raining, but when you look up you only find an umbrella over your head. Your eyes widen in surprise, and when you turn to see who is holding it, you dont know if you want to keep crying or run as fast as you can.
Jungwon is now behind you, holding the umbrella for you while getting drenched under the rain himself. You dont know what to say, or how to react. All you know is that you feel sad and disappointed and so, so angry at him for wasting your time and making you believe that he actually cared for you enough to help for the exam.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry i swear i didn’t forget i just- i got a call from Stark for that project and I-“ Your brows are furrowed in annoyance, your head shaking and saying no as he keeps on talking and saying excuses. You’re not one to get mad easily, you’re usually pretty chill, and rarely things get under your skin, but right now you really want to just smash his head somewhere. “You could’ve called. Or replied to my dms.”
He’s panting, he must’ve run a lot, and he keeps getting wetter and wetter. Part of you wants to invite him in and give him something to dry his hair out, but you mostly want to take a bit of revenge in a way, and if its by giving him a common cold, then so be it. “We.. we cant keep our phones there, for privacy reasons- Mr. Stark doesn’t-“ “I dont give a fuck about Stark and your fuckass project!”
You manage to surprise yourself by shouting at him that way, you’re just so pissed off. It would’ve been better for the both of you if he hadn’t shown up, at least you would’ve cried yourself to sleep only to act like nothing happened, but seeing him, hearing his excuses that you’ve heard already thousands of times, whenever he missed the group hang outs or class. But this time its different.
“I told the professor you were busy, but you insisted to be my tutor anyway. This exam is so important to me but you just cant understand! Jungwon, not everyone is a damn genius like you, not everyone has fucking Tony Stark making projects and shit for him, i needed help today but you decided to just waste my time.”
Jungwon remains still, looking at you in shock, he’s never seen you this angry, he didnt even know it was possible for you to crash out this way. Suddenly his throat is dry and he doesnt know what to say, meanwhile you are fighting your own tears from falling. You feel guilty, in a way, you dont like getting mad and you definitely dont like the fact that it was Jungwon the one to see you this way. You hate it, how you cant still be fully mad at him because of how much you like him, his big dark eyes looking at you as if you just broke his heart. You take a deep breath in, and right now you dont know if you’re shaking because of the cold, your drenched clothes or from anger.
“I’m sorry.” He doesnt say anything else, and you actually wait for him to add another sentence, maybe you expect another excuse, but no. He just looks at you like a sad little kitten, and that only angers you even more. You shake your head no one last time before turning away from him and walking towards your house. You dont look back, because you know that if you did you would melt, you’d ask him to come inside and you’d say sorry to him for crashing out. And right now this is not what you need.
A couple of days later, you decided to stay in an empty classroom just so you could be able to study without having to worry about getting distracted. You’ve been ignoring Jungwon, but its not that hard when he is barely available anyway. He wasnt with your friends last night, and you havent seen him in class or anywhere else really. Last time you saw him, two days ago, you just turned on your heels and ignored him, but that was it.
You sigh, hating having to do this, the exam will be in two weeks and you still cant bring yourself to understand any of these things. You’re about to give up and smash your head on the table when the sound of notebooks falling on the chair next to you suddenly startles you.
“You were right, i acted on impulse and i’m sorry.” Jungwon is standing in front of you, he looks like he hadn’t slept well, dark circles under his gorgeous eyes that you love so much.
You dont say anything, too confused to actually react in a normal way. He’s making your heart beat so fast and the butterflies in your stomach are going crazy. “I made notes for you. I tried to keep it simple and add schemes, it took me a while, but i really wanted to help you.” Your lips press into a pout, now you really feel awful for how you treated him, this is why you like him so much. No matter how others treat him he’s always kind and gentle and god, you really fucked up, uh.
“I’m sorry for crashing out the other day.” “I deserved it.” “That’s not the point.” You sigh for what seems the ninth time today and you get up. He’s still taller than you, but what really makes you feel much smaller are his shoulders, his body is so fit and broad for him to have the face of an angel. There’s a few minutes of silence, it seems like you two always end up not saying anything for a while, just looking at each other and waiting for the other to speak. This time you decide to break it.
“I’ll offer you dinner, or coffee or a drink? if i actually pass the exam.” Jungwon’s smile gets even bigger, he likes how bold you’ve been lately, first asking him if he wanted to stay at your house, now this. If only he wasnt so busy being a damn hero, he would’ve asked you out a long time ago. “Let’s go see a movie instead, like a date.” You have to blink a couple of times to understand that, is he really asking you on a date? You look at him as if he’s talking nonsense, your lips parted in shock and you fear you might faint from how fast your heart is beating. He chuckles at your reaction. “You better pass that exam now.”
You’ve never studied so hard in your entire life. The two weeks passed so slowly, you basically closed yourself inside your house, or the library, or in the classroom, doing everything you could do to pass that exam. And so, when the day of the test finally arrives, you’re sure you can do it with your eyes closed. Well, kind of. You still dont get the highest grade, because you would’ve needed either a miracle or some sort of dark magic for that, but you still pass it.
You get out of the class, a huge smile on your lips while you walk towards the dining hall, where all your friends are waiting for you. “Oh my god i almost forgot your face!” Says Yunjin, pinching your cheeks when you sit between her and Jungwon. “Did you even eat these past weeks?” “You honestly got us worried.” “Oh my god, you guys. I was just studying its not like a supervillain kidnapped me or something.” Jungwon grimaces at your words. “Ugh, dont jinx it.”
A chuckle escapes your lips as you roll your eyes before digging in your food. Jay and Yunah are now arguing about which supervillain the world has seen would be able to kidnap you, meanwhile Jungwon is shaking his head no, trying to stop them from fantasizing about it. “I wouldn’t mind Loki i guess,” “Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ugly.” Yunjin’s reaction makes the whole table laugh.
“I’ve never met Loki..” Jungwon says, almost to himself, the others probably didnt even hear him, but you turn to look at him with a confused expression, your brows furrowed. “Well, duh. We were too young when the avengers stopped him.” The blondie just looks at you back, almost embarrassed about that sentence falling off his mind and coming out from his mouth. “Yeah… yeah i meant like, uh, yeah we were too young..” He’s acting weird, but you let that go, after all Jungwon does seem like a huge superhero nerd.
The week goes on and finally, finally, its time for your date with Jungwon. If it can even be called a date. Well, he called it a date so you assume it actually is one. Still, he did call you this time telling you he was going to be five minutes late, so you take your time walking towards the cinema.
Its been raining a lot these past few days, but you’re prepared, the white umbrella tight in your hands.
You’re just going to see a movie, but you still thought about dressing up nicely. The white dress you’re wearing might be a bit too springy, but you dont mind that. And you do have a pretty coat over it, so its fine. Your boots are perfect for the weather, and so are the thighs under them, and most importantly you feel cute.
Just as Jungwon said, he reaches you five minutes later, his breathing ragged as if he just ran. His hands behind his back but you can clearly see the flowers he’s trying to hide. He looks embarrassed, but the smile on your face makes me feel much more at ease. “I- Lets say it wasnt a good idea to get them and then run under the rain.” He says, handing them to you.
You laugh, the flowers must’ve looked pretty before he put his hands on them. They’re drenched and some of them are even missing a couple of petals, you couldnt care less about it though. He got you flowers. Yang Jungwon, the guy you’ve had a crush on for two years got you flowers, and you couldnt be happier.
“You’re always running somewhere.” You chuckle.
He links arms with you, walking towards the ticket booth. You dont even know what film you’re watching, knowing him its probably some sci-fi movie or a really old one that he always references but you dont know. “I mean, running is healthy.” “As long as you dont run away from me..” He keeps silent at your words, looking at you deeply, his eyes scanning your body and face, he always does that. “I’ll try.”
That answer leaves you in a chaos of emotions. He will try? What does that even mean? Your face must be telling that, or maybe its the way your body stiffened up. He opens his mouth to say something else, probably trying to save what he just did, but you dont even hear him. A loud noise echoed outside the cinema and you find yourself catching Jungwon’s hands out of fear.
He suddenly looks serious, his hand on your back, his brows furrowed in what seems anger and annoyance, that’s not a normal reaction if someone were to ask you. He looks around, meanwhile the other people around you are already screaming and running out of the theater, and you’re starting to get anxious too. “Jungwon we have to-“ “Take the emergency door on the left, i’ll catch up to you later.”
He lets you go, but you’re only getting more and more confused. He’s not coming with you? You shake your head no, in disbelief. You’re not leaving him here out in danger, what is he, some kind of superhero? “What? Are you out of your mind? Jungwon let’s just go..” You grab his arm and he closes his eyes for a second, getting out a deep sigh before he cups your cheeks.
“I swear, i’ll explain everything to you, but you have to go now. Just trust me and get out from that door only.” He’s not a superhero. You keep repeating yourself that, like a mantra, he cant be. He’s Jungwon, you would know if he was, he wouldnt be able to shut up about it, he’s like a twenty year old Tony Stark, there’s no way he is. But then you feel the way he’s holding you, his broad shoulders protecting you and his big hands on your face, its so familiar. And the look in his eyes is telling everything you need to know.
So you nod, hesitantly, but you do as he says. You can only hope he’s not actually who you think he is, your hands stop gripping his wrists so tightly and he gives you a gentle and reassuring smile before leaving a kiss on your cheek. “Go home, and dont take the metro. I’ll be right back.” You nod again and then you go, with your heart thumping against your chest, your head filled with dots connecting each other, and you dont know what to think.
You reach home safely, only because you did as Jungwon told you. You didnt take the metro, which happened to be involved in the fight, and you wonder how the hell did he know that would’ve happened. You sit on your bed, checking every news site, refreshing the spiderman tag on twitter every couple of seconds. You’re not 100% sure about it, maybe you’re just traumatized and insane, maybe a man protecting you reminds you of spiderman and this is just you projecting, but you cant ignore the signs.
That time at the library, he didn’t come and spiderman was fighting off somewhere at the same time, or all those times he left early or didnt come at all, all those excuses and that Stark project, is that even real? It makes sense, it makes too much sense and you feel like you will be going crazy until he comes back like he promised you.
You’re about to go downstairs and make a chamomile or something that could help you not go insane when you hear a tap on your balcony window. Jungwon is there and you waste no time opening the slide in door for him, you want to ask him a thousand questions but he just puts his finger over his lips, telling you to be quiet.
You dont know why he’s doing that, but you accomplish and close the window door behind him. You were so distracted waiting for him that you didnt even turn on the lights, and its so dark outside so you had barely noticed the mask in his hand. That mask. You take a better look at him and you feel so stupid when you notice what he’s wearing.
You dont know if you’re even surprised at this point, nor how you find the force to close the curtains and turn on one of the little lights in your room. He slides down the wall, he looks tired, and hurt, but he’s still looking at you with that same cocky vibe he always has. “You don’t look surprised.”
“I had a lot to think about walking home.” He smiles even more, and you kneel down next to him, your hand going to his hair without even thinking to much about it, you move them away from his forehead, and you just now notice a few small cuts on his face. “Is this a deal breaker for you?” He chuckles softly, his breath catching, even he knows how ridiculous he sounds right now, but you’re too mad to joke around with him.
“The deal breaker was you vanishing for weeks, lying to our friends, lying to me, finding useless excuses, asking me out on a date and then letting me run off of my own, leaving me alone at the library for hours and-“ You notice the way he’s looking at you, each word you say making him feel even worse, his already huge eyes looking even bigger.
“And… it doesnt even matter, because i like you so much i cant get mad at you.” It should feel good, telling him that you like him, it should feel like letting go of a weight off your shoulders, but it doesnt. Your heart feels heavy, you dont know how to feel, you’re worried sick and you dont know how you’re going to handle knowing that he is, indeed, spiderman.
You let your head fall on his shoulder while he hugs you almost immediately. You can hear the way his heart is beating, he doesn’t like seeing you like this and he hates being the cause of it, so he tries to soothe you down, hands caressing your back and playing with your hair.
“I like you a lot, too. And if this too much for you i’ll- I dont know, i’ll ask that damn doctor magician to erase it from your memory or something, just- I’m sorry.” You shake your head no while hiding in his chest, you dont want to forget this, he trusted you enough to know, and you respect that. “Who else knows?” “Jay and well, Mr. Stark and well yeah, everyone of that category.”
You just nod, you really cant believe this. Jungwon and Jay keeping a secret of this sort, you really thought Jungwon was the kind of guy to tell anyone if he were to be a hero, but apparently you know way less about him than you expected. You raise your head to look at him. He looks pretty hot like this, his lips are red, probably from fighting, his hair is a mess and that’s partly your faul, and wow. The suit fits him so well. His broad shoulders, his toned chest and his biceps look even better with it on.
“You’re staring.” He says, his fingers going under your chin to make you look at his face, which doesnt help your wondering thoughts, since he’s just that handsome. “You always stare at me, too.” “Yeah, ‘cause you’re pretty.” You crack a smile at that, its not the first time he calls you pretty, but it always gives you butterflies. Before you even realize, he puts his arms on your waist and makes you sit on his lap. Well, now you know where all his strength comes from.
“I wasnt expecting our first date to end up like this.” He moves to be closer to you, his nose nuzzling with yours, his voice getting lower, your hands rest on his chest. “What were you expecting?” That question seems to get a reaction out of him, his brow raising, a smirk on his face. “Well, you would’ve hated the movie i choose anyway. At that would’ve led you to be bored, and to us making out.” You giggle at that, you dont know if that would’ve actually happened, but the thought is nice.
“You think you can make my dream come true, Pretty?” Maybe its the suit that is making him act even more cocky than he usually is, or maybe you’re just too turned on by it to think about anything else. Your eyes scan him one last time, your hands moving behind his neck, your lips brushing against each other. “I’ll try.” And that said, your lips finally crash into his. For years you imagined how it would feel to kiss him, and this is so much better than any of that.
Jungwon is confident in his moves, his lips move with ease against yours, his hands keep you still on his lap, his tongue gently asking for permission by licking your bottom lip. You let him, not know that its going to be the end for you. He tilts his head, enough to go deeper while you just let him take the lead. You feel like you’re in heaven his lips are soft yet his kissing gets rougher as time passes, soon enough the room is filled with the sounds of your breathing, your lips meeting and tongues clicking. He doesnt seem to be wanting to let you go, you still pull out after a while, feeling out of breath.
He leans in for more but you stop him with a gentle peck, a giggle escaping from you. “Calm down, Spidey. Not everyone has super lungs.” “I dont, either.” He laughs and pushes your hair our of your face and puts them behind your ears. “You’re really okay with this? Even if I’m spiderman?” You can hear the insecurity in his voice, and honestly, it really is a big deal. He’s a superhero, he gets in trouble, people want him dead and knowing it might affect your daily life too. But right now you dont care.
“First of all, you’re Jungwon. We’ll figure out the spiderman stuff together. But yes, i am sure about Jungwon, a hundred percent.” He nods, a smile on his lips before he kisses you again, and again, and again. “I should’ve done this a long time ago.” He whispers between kisses, next thing you know he picks you up before throwing you on the bed, you giggle again, your body open to him.
You look at him and he just looks so perfect to you. You can’t believe this is happening, Jungwon is on top of you, kissing you and whispering sweet nothings between your lips. He pulls out for a few seconds to look back at you, a smirk on your lips as you bite his ear before whispering.
“The suit stays on, though.”
#enha imagines#enha scenarios#enha#enha x reader#jungwon#enha fluff#enhypen#jungwon x reader#jungwon x you#jungwon imagines#jungwon smau#jungwon smut#jungwon scenarios#yang jungwon#spiderman!jungwon#spiderman!au#enhypen au#divider creds: cafekitsune
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