#oh thank god i googled it and it was

[frostywisp]

pray tell me good sir:

why must such cushioned a chair cut off the circulation, the flowing of such vibrant life-blood to my limbs?

if only such premium a seat, such a fine specimen of the exotic variety, such a chair of the esteemed establishment of the Scandinavian geography,

could provide me with the lessening of pressure on the bottom side of my left thigh

then- maybe then- only then- would i be able to find one true route to victory over this mundane muddle of showing of a polygon through this messy list of letters and directional lines.

Ah, woe is me! For i may ne'er feel the touch of yet another well-made chair.

Why must this be so? why must the hard provide comfort but the soft provide ache?

This cannot be right, this cannot truly be the way of the world

However my self tells me it truly is so, thus all this pathetic being will do is weep

[technically-human]

Fell in love with this fucked up version of Charles and the gang so i drew them !! <3

Here they are spliced up for better quality :3

(Can you tell montys my favorite character ? LOL)

LOOK AT MY FUCKED UP BABIES!! SO PRETTY!!!

I love it so much thank you thank you thank you

[reddieswift]

on today's episode of small details from the IT book that are extremely important to me, LOSERS CLUB HANDWRITINGS ARE U KIDDING

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 11

PREVIOUS

FF could admit that he may not be working with a full tank at the moment.

He had not slept very well the night before.

He had watched a lot of horror movies (a genre that he generally does not consume because his mind is already a scary enough place).

He was not able to go see his Grandma and he was going to miss the traditional(tm) Black Friday extravaganza that he and his Grandma did every Black Friday since he was little and encountered the horrible truth about Santa and she’d let him in on when / where most of his Christmas gifts were obtained. (The answer was not the North Pole under the watchful eye of elves. He had cried himself to sleep at the revelation but Gran always had a way of making the worst moments of his life tolerable.)

He may have eaten just…a bit too much pie?

He definitely ate too much turkey.

His stomach is killing him because he had forgotten to take his pepto when he had slammed that five hour energy.

His heart may actually break out of his rib cage with how hard it’s beating in his chest.

He’s been listening to Andrew and Captain Neil go back and forth for the last hour and a half between discussing Aaron’s recent mess ups, to what they’ll do to one another with a locked door between them and the world, to Andrew complaining that Neil’s hand is sweaty, to Neil saying Yes and Andrew’s hand is no longer in Neil’s and-

He clenches his eyes close.

And Andrew has swerved back into the lane for the third time in the last five minutes while saying something unrepeatable about his plans for Captain Neil and the whipped cream.

FF does not handle swerving cars very well.

He hears Andrew say something that sounds like it could lead to a very uncomfortable yeast infection for Captain Neil didn’t properly rinse off afterwards.

The car swerves over the rumble strip.

A fear far stronger than his fear of what Andrew could do to him overtakes him.

“I don’t like swerving cars. So, I’m going to ask that you focus on the road and keep your hands on the steering wheel.” FF says so panicked that he sounds calm and he watches as both Neil and Andrew stiffen at the sound of his voice. “If you can’t, then I’m going to ask that you pull over and let me out.” He offers a second option and a part of him is just amazed that his voice doesn’t crack even once. “I’m fine with either option.” He says.

He says both are fine but…

Honestly he hopes Andrew chooses the first option as he looks at the dark and lonely highway.

He looks back up at the front seat and both Neil and Andrew are looking straight forward. Andrew’s hands are on the steering wheel.

“Thanks.” He says and returns his attention to back over Aaron’s head.

The rest of the ride to Columbia is blessedly quiet. Aaron and Nicky wake up when they get off of the interstate and Nicky has the good grace to try and wipe the drool out of FF’s hair while Aaron seems unbothered by the wet spot he left of FF’s shoulder.

They get out of the car and they each grab their own bag in exhausted silence. Nicky is barely managing to put one foot in front of the other and before FF can do or say anything Nicky is in his room and has locked his door.

The room that FF had been planning on sleeping on the floor of because Nicky had told him he could so that FF would not drink 20 5-hour energies over the course of the weekend.

But Nicky had looked really tired.

So he is given a general tour by a very quiet Captain Neil and FF forces himself not to think about the cooler that Andrew had brought to, what he assumes is, Andrew’s bedroom before it was brought to the kitchen. He gets shown where the blankets and pillows that Kevin uses are and FF nods in quiet acceptance even knowing that he is going to spend the night going over Katakana flashcards and maybe up his literacy on Kanji to a second grader’s level.

Captain Neil wishes him a good night while Andrew gives him a nod and it is the last time he sees Captain Neil that night.

It is not the last time he sees Andrew.

***

Andrew comes out of his room to go get two glasses of water nearly 2 and a half hours later. The house is silent and dark. He is pretty sure him and Neil are the only two up.

He is wrong.

He comes out into the living room on his way to the kitchen and finds FF going through flashcards at a rapid pace. He walks a little closer to see what it is but the flashcards aren’t even right side up half of the time.

He thinks about the car ride.

‘I don’t like swerving cars.’

FF had said it so matter of factly. He was uncomfortable with the swerving.

Andrew had told FF recently about the words he didn’t like.

It felt like FF was offering at least something of himself back to Andrew for the first time.

Andrew thinks about how once his hands had gone back to the steering wheel FF had leaned back into his seat and stared out the window.

Andrew has at various points tried to look up what FF’s circumstances were but searching news sites for someone named ‘Smith’ with no first name to work off of was an exercise in futility.

Neil has lamented many times to Andrew about his bizarre jealousy over how unknowable Smith is. “He’s learning new languages, keeping a low profile, and playing Exy. It’s everything that I wanted in my freshman year and couldn’t manage because Riko pissed me off so much! It’s just kind of hard to see someone living my dream.” He says.

Andrew had punched him in the arm for that one.

“My old dream!” Neil had said and Andrew almost punched him again for the smile he flashed but had ended up kissing his stupid pretty face instead.

Where was he?

Right.

FF didn’t like swerving cars.

It didn’t necessarily have to be the trauma that lead to that aversion. Andrew certainly hadn’t had anything scare him on a plane but he still hated flying.

Still.

“The flash card is upside down.” He says and watches as FF pauses in his shuffling before righting that card and flipping to the next one which was turned to the side as far as Andrew could tell.

FF should be asleep.

FF is not asleep.

It might be Andrew’s fault that his friend can’t sleep.

“It won’t happen again.” He says and FF turns and stares at him blankly for a few seconds before he nods his acceptance.

It’s nice having a friend who understands what he means without needing to explain every little thing.

***

FF thinks he might have double-dosed on the 5-hour energy.

He also thinks he might currently be able to see through time.

His flashcards are making so much sense right now.

Then Andrew had come up and it truly was a miracle that he did not shit himself considering the sheer amount of apple pie still making its way through his system. That’s a lot of fiber for one body and he’s sure the 2-3 Five Hour energies he has taken are not helping his plight in that regard.

“It won’t happen again.” Is what Andrew says and in an instant FF feels his stomach drop to his feet. He nods blankly and watches as Andrew nods back before the man went to the kitchen and left with two tall glasses of water.

‘It won’t happen again’

FF has asked Andrew for TWO favors today.

TWO WHOLE FAVORS.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

The answer was that he WASN’T.

Even if FF had paid back one of those favors with the sheer power of his granny’s pie there was the case of the secondary favor he’d asked for in the car.

‘It won’t happen again’

There won’t be anymore favors for FF. He’d used up any mercy his grandma’s pie had bought him.

He considers the time pulls out his phone and goes through some saved text files on his phone.

It’s time for guns even bigger than his grandma’s apple pie.

He takes another five hour energy and knows that he won’t be sleeping a wink. He looks up groceries stores that are open this early on Black Friday, he grabs his wallet and with immense fear in his heart grabs the keys Aaron had dropped into a bowl by the front entrance.

He needs the ingredients for his great-grandma’s brownies.

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES

NEXT

Per y’all’s requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

[tallytals]

got harassed into starting the second perspective and it’s going great thanks! ignore the crazed look in my eyes! anyway @wildflowerteas hi!!! i figured you’d enjoy my board because im hooked <3

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Holy fuck y'all i should NOT be awake 😭

[mauvecardigans]

this is a fucking hilarious way of trying to describe where something is

"oh, yeah, it's situated between two major metropolises in southern michigan, supes easy to find, no biggie."

[scootsaboot]

my worst nightmare happened yesterday by the way. i got a text msg from my boss from my previous job and he tells me he found a google doc that he thinks is mine and showed up in his recently updated section of gdrive.

the only thing i gave myself access to on my work email (that wasnt work related) was my jojo fanfiction folder.

after they offboarded me and deleted my email those viewing permissions went right to my boss :)

he saw my fucking josuyasu fanfiction

[crossbackpoke-check]

a junkyard dog ain't always pretty but you always love that toothless smile

[trans-estinien]

need to get a metaphorical flag that just says IM TECH LITERATE on it to wave around

[cuterozhok]

I don't trust Google translate enough to tell me how to properly say something in Ukrainian but I hope this little doodle of Spring Man sporting some Ukraine colors and love brings you some joy

ZUKAAAAAAAA I'M LITERALLY GONNA CRY RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

HOW ARE YOU SO FAST??!!! I'M HUGGING YOU REALLY TIGHT RIGHT NOW MAN IT'S THE MOST ADORABLE ART OF HIM!!!! 😤😤😤😤💕💕💕💕💞💞💞💞 Thank you so so much LOOK AT THIS CUTIE EVERYONE!!!!😭😭😭😭😭

Zuka youre the best I'm literally out of words

[sharkfinx]

@uchihacollector​ asked:

Orochimaru carries Kisame (+bag+ Samehada) to his hideout, the one in the Kumo canyon's wall. The main room is a studio, with a couch, bed, cupboard, weapon storage rack, a kitchenette, and there is a bathroom attached to it. There is an office area too, but in a separate room. Orochimaru brings the wounded Kisame to the shower area. After that, he plans to put him to bed.

The effects of the extensive self burning chakra had finally caught up to his cold tired body, the pain is sharp but he can’t even grind his teeth out of pain. He tries to keep his vision clear but it fades as slowly with the blurry sight of the dark hair. Dark like a night sky.

Tch. You leave me no choice. I’ll keep you in my hideout for a while.

His arms hold on to Orochimaru with the certainty that his egoistic pledge being heard. He wouldn’t let him go now, and ever. The ex akatsuki can’t help but to fall asleep with a smile on his face. The next time he opens his eyes, he’s over a metal surface. Things are still blurry as he tries to make sense of the white figure over him. Why is he using a mask? Why is his hand bloody? Is that a hook? He tries to lift his head but his arms are strapped. He feels another sharp but quickly pain, his head feels dizzy as he once again feels asleep.

Water’s droplets fall on his face, it feels so nice. There’s a voice which he doesn’t understand very well, but he lifts his arms as he feels the smell of soap. That voice again, he leans forward as he can see the soap foam go down the drain. “.......My eyes…it.. got in my eyes, nee.” He complains while taking a look behind as his vision clears again. Oh it’s just Orochimaru there. Kisame blankly stares and blinks. Turn his head forward and then look behind his shoulder again. Maybe he is seeing things? No, Orochimaru is still there. Third time's the charm but it wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him, that guy is really there. His reflexes don't follow his fright as he tries to stand, putting height on his wounded leg and fall from the stool he was sitting on. He’s not far from the ground to be a dangerous fall. Kisame grumbles but sits up fast. He first covers under the hips with his hands, but as soon he looks at Orochimaru, those hands go to his own face, covering the eyes in panic—then go down again as he pulls a nearest towel to cover better. “ …...How.. how could...” He’s still dizzy from whatever he was injected with, to not be able to feel his leg. There’s a unique pain coming from his neck, between the ears and shoulder which he lays a hand over. “I’m.. not a retired soldier! ne! No one should be allowed to see me—…” “My.. gut.s. Did you take my guts?” He stops upon blabbering words upon seeing his right hand. Without the Akatsuki ring. Then finally calms down.

[thejadecount]

So I just saw your bayverse x rise crossover speculation and I'm here to tell you why you should be scared of the bayverse fandom: the crotch shot gif.

crotch shot???? what? Look I got people telling me a bunch of the bayverse fandom is just Tcest so I’m. I’m terrified to ask. What

[rhysnolastname]

¿Cómo se dice claveles? En inglés

[walterdecourceys]

oh god just had a heartstopping moment where i thought i'd been spelling molokov's name wrong this whole time

[micahdotgov]

im thinking of rewatching glee so someone needs to put me down like a lame horse