#oh ok we’re doing this again
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#oh ok we’re doing this again#my one true love the ox rib scene#please don’t let him know please let us have our fun#y’all parasocially unwell#in my shitposting era now i guess#good omens#good omens 2#good enough for gomens work
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Dad always said I was like him
Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui
^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown
When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.
#It’s ok they do get in touch again and he prob at least lives to 40#Alright I’m ready to be normal about chilchuck again#Spoilers#I guess?#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meijack#chilchuck’s family#meijack chils#Web weaving#alcoholism#cw alcohol#webweave#A couple more i liked are like a rearview mirror we’re not as close as we appear line and this french one from#Kristina Gauthier-Landry that goes like hands full of trout running up to you / look what i caught look / how much you love me#And this other one about chocolate coins that a dad arriving from work in middle of the night gives the happy little daughter running up#And it’s so anticlimatic and about transactional relationships and oughh ough it’s a good book#I am Chil is a complex absentee father truther sorry. Idc go see my analyses if you want don’t argue w me here#posts for which i am the target audience#Oh oh another one : So were we close? Or was it just the big things that held us together and the small things that let us fall apart?#The word father rotted in my mouth#Bc it’s left there to rot get it get it………..#Sigh. Like father alike daughter#I’m a truther that she’s more like her mom demeanor wise
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friend notoriously bad at videogames said shed play marvel rivals with me tomorrow chat if i never post after tomorrow night its because a blood vessel bursted
#marvel rivals#snap chats#AT LEAST WE’LL HAVE OUR OTHER FRIEND THERE BUT god.#she funny as hell she just suddenly called me and was like ‘i saw your twitter. do you wanna play marvel rivals tomorrow’#and then she proceeds to be like ‘wait so who do you main. other than magneto’ Motherfucker with a capital M#NO I SWEAR IM NOT A ONE TRICK i really like wanda hawkeye and jeff….#NO SHE SAID ONE MORE THING SHE WAS LIKE ‘wait are charles and magneto the same guy’ and she tries to Just Kidding her wait outta it#Note whenever she says Just Kidding she’s trying to cover her ass I PROMISE I WAS LIKE /KAYLA. BE SERIOUS./#and then she was like ‘who’s the friendlier one of the two’#and then i had to hit her with the Technically People Think Theyre Both Varying Degrees Of Asshole. however charles probably wont bite you#and THEN SHE WAS LIKE ‘ok well you should draw magneto surprising charles with jollibees’ AND I. NO SHE THINKS MY EXISTENCE SURROUNDS JB#AND THIS GAL HAD THE GAUL TO BE LIKE ‘oh do you know how to make it since its a big part of your culture’#i was flabbergasted frankly. ‘oh you guys really like jollibees so you know how to make it right’ i screamed#LIKE ????ISJAJSJSJSJ i cant stress the anomaly this girl is i wish you all could meet her so you understand me#AND LIKE SURE I LOVE JBS but she only ever mentions puto and jollibees to me like kayla. there is more to PH culture than that sjKakss#its really funny with the ??? shit she says i cant lie#she was all ‘oh is the winter soldier in the game ? you should play him hes cool :) and from jersey :) ok well his actor is but—‘ LIKE DKSKS#‘snap arent you being a little mean’ no trust and believe AND I HAVE WITNESSES#i have stupid amounts of stories with her. like she tried to excuse being dumb by sayin shes a capricorn#we’re literally both capricorns and she was born two days before me I Cannot. Do You Understand Me.#anyways. she said i should stream me playing rivals would anyone care about that#i kinda wanted to …. i think it’d be fun…. plus i miss streaming :(#ok byebye for now my bros almost home and i said id let him play so i could work on comms#i mean thats assuming he wants to play. if not uhhhhhhh#anyways BYE. ill tell yall how the game goes tomorrow night if i dont die of a stroke#again at least our other friend’ll be there so someone can laugh at my pain
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people (the rest of the hanza. not including geralt) often forget that cahir was 1. the guy that kidnapped ciri 2. an officer in the military
he’s literally so polite in geralt’s company you wouldn’t even guess he was the black knight. and yet. and yet.
i’m never certain exactly how to reconcile this tactful and strategic mind with the terrified young man
#geralt never forgot but everyone else (maybe also except dandelion) was like ?? but ?? friend ?? friendship????#i imagine him barking an order to dandelion once and dandelion straightened up and obeyed#opposite of when cahir was looking over dandelions shoulder lol#maybe joke but#in my idea where angouleme goes missing . geralt is like. what do you think we should do#cahir’s like why me. geralt’s like. well. she’s ciri-shaped#milva enacting clemency for cahir after geralt chases regis away is fantastic#regis saved you from the noose and you’ve chased him away. thats your business. but but cahir saved me. so we’re comrades >:(#geralt seething he’s going to kill him and then like nooo i can’t kill him idk why …#when cahir joined the rivian forces 😭😭 because he in no way resembled a civilian#each of the company members have insane backstories they really are the PCs of the d&d campaign#and angouleme is the one npc they pick up and adopt into the company and defend to the end#so we’re looking for this guy’s daughter he’s bound to her by destiny#this guy kidnapped said daughter but he said sorry for it later#milva worked with dryads to kill people and regis is a vampire that drank people#and this guy is famous like beyoncé#angouleme: [sniffs] ‘kay#the elbow-high diaries#i need her to keep regis humble bc regis is like dont worry i dont bite people 🥹 and shes like yeah ok dont care either way#geralt is like oh hell do not explain to her all of this again. we spent too much time on this already last book#you know you are the reason we have three stars on goodreads#regis like i know… 🙂 if i wasn’t here you’d snag us zero…
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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How do you explain burnout to people who say they’re supportive but who also get angry that you don’t have the energy to see them/you cancel your plans the day before despite the fact that you’ve told them you’re burned out and they said it’s great you put your own health first?
#because I sure as fuck don’t know how to do it#the constant ‘oh ok feel better. we’ll try again tomorrow’#the hell we will girl. burnout isn’t something I can sleep off in a day like fuck off#if I get to a point where I say out loud that I’m burned out? we’re fucked already bestie#I need 5-7 business WEEKS to feel slightly ok again#misha rants
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Was aegon written by two different writers who never communicated with each other bc I will never understand what they were trying to do with him
#like he feels like a round robin between one person who had an interesting vision of a character and someone who was like oh ok we’re doing#joffery again?
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Vengeance, as it were
#Lavender Jack#Lavender Jack Webtoon#Webtoon#AFWP version got me going again#IT’S SO PRETTY#Literally I was Ascending (TM) like you do for the beginning of it and then this image popped into my head#I just felt like using the Lord Huron emerald bc the LJ one is like a puny circle or oval#Need that intricate shape#Niche lyric choice too but I like it#Fits with Mimley’s attitude#Anyway I’m just like rambling but uhh yeah art like it#Oh wait#Lord Huron#6#ok we’re done
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Thinking about Erik snapping at Charles with “well maybe you should have fought harder for them” and the pain in his eyes when Charles told him they didn’t want the same things.
#cherik#going insane Erik sitting in that awful cell thinking that Charles will never rescue him but he’ll still know Erik didn’t do this#and him learning Charles thinks he’s a murderer a monster - the one person who had never thought that of him besides his parents - and that#Charles thinks he did do it and he hates everything so much because if Charles gave up hope on him if even Charles is unwilling to fight for#him anymore maybe he truly is a monster and killing raven for the future is just a who he is#thinking of how much it would break Erik of Charles called him a monster to his face#‘you abandoned us all’ but what he means is you abandoned me! you sent me away and you let me rot in prison and you gave up on me#anyways!!! the way Erik wanted Charles to fight for one thing and that was him and he didn’t!! he just gave up and sent him away#listen ok I know Erik left him bleeding on a beach with no way of getting out of there but man I will always be side Erik in the divorce#look at the day the man had!!! he’s paralyzed by fear when confronting his abuser and then Charles tells him to not kill him even tho Erik-#needed it to feel safe like watch the scene watch it!!! and then he’s facing genocide again and this time he can lift the coin and save his#people. then Charles gets shot and he blames ERIK and then he breaks up with Erik like ok I know he’s wounded and all but the fact the#fandom is like ‘oh Charles didn’t mean for them to go he was shot and mad Erik should know better’#but we’re not like ‘oh Erik faced his childhood abuser and then relived something very similar to his trauma#got blamed for his lover’s injury (and like he doesn’t blame himself for him mom too) and then broken up with. he went through so much#lasting emotional trauma in the span of less than one hour how can he know better’#and there’s like a good explanation for why Charles would still blame him like Erik was wearing the helmet he couldn’t have picked up on all#that depth without one of the senses he relies on. but the fandom being like Erik is the bad person in this instance#it seems unfair. also it screams I’m a gentile honestly.#also you can’t tell me part of Erik wasn’t like ‘maybe he’d be better off without me’ when he left the beach#x men#Charles Xavier#erik lehnsherr#ramble rumble#now just don’t think of ‘let him come’ being Erik hoping Charles will finally fight for him and say they should have been together#and instead Charles throws more unfair (well about raven) blame in his face
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‘Casting’ mine as hijikata really was perf cause similar to the actual hijikata i for sure thought he’d turn out to be a crazy dickwad but no he’s just genuinely pretty chill. Ignore the murders he’s MOSTLY pretty chill
#snap chats#did i make this post before. probably but leave me alone its been a while#both renditions of Fly came on the playlist so i am once again thinking about Him#no one tell the y3 fan club but i do prefer the ishin rendition more...#the pan flutes and shamisens tickle A Very Specific Nerve in my ear and make me see god#i like the y3 rendition tho obviously dont you EVER get it twisted#y3’s rendition feels as though it tells a story with its version too#so i guess i enjoy them both equally for different reasons...#ishin just has ESPECIALLT chunky guitars and if it has a chunky guitar ima bust#but no Main Point right. Allegedly despite hijikata’s whole Demon Title yeah#most people just report him bejng like. chill as hell. amiable even#like during my bedtie’s playthrough and even mine i kept thinking hijikata would snap since i never knew the story of ishin#but then we’re at the end and its like.... oh so youre just hangin with us.... epic...#still lame that his fight wasnt like. overly important like Awkward Use Of The Greatest Track Ever#but hey ill never complain about fighting mine or gettig to listen to a nut-worthy rendition of fly#ok im walking BYYYE
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if i could just get like 3 more hours of sleep every night. maybe even 2. i would be so powerful
#purrs#this week is so fucked bc i teach on tuesdays and stay late on wednesdays but then we have a late night program on thursday and again… i#cannot stress this enough… last week was a 6-day long shit show that a 2-day weekend was not NEARLY enough to recover from. and today i have#back to back meetings from i think like.. 11-3 and im double booked from 2-3 and have no time to eat lunch. and we haven’t even started#prepping facilitators for tomorrows program or putting together materials or anything. i wish we could just take a break. like im so#UNBELIEVABLY tired. UNBELIEVABLY. i just want to sleep. i love spending time w my colleagues but that’s like the only thing i look forward#to every day at this point like i literally just want to go to sleep. and im so bitter bc ppl are like oh yeah you guys must have had a#rough spring break but then do not expect any less from us after they went to like barceolona or wherever for 5 days while we suffered and#it’s like… ok. 🤠 like i just want to scream a little bit that’s all. im so burned out that im a crumb of soot rn#but we can’t stop until the end of the semester bc we’re teaching and doing a million things and everyone needs us 😍😍😍😍😍😍#delete later
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just remembered that in 2015/16 it used to be a relatively common & popular opinion to find maia ‘annoying’ in CoHF because she ‘moped too much’ over jordan’s death and had to put down my coffee and let my eye twitch for a moment in rage. Thank god those days are over maia roberts you did NOTHING WRONG!!!!
#maia roberts#specifically i remember people really hating the fact that she so clearly wanted to break up with jordan but kept putting it off#and then obviously spiralled after his death because of it#like guys be so fucking for real. Why do you think she was struggling so hard to break up with him#It’s not like the last time she dumped him he almost killed her or anything. OH WAIT.#like ok i know the maia/jordan arc was all over the place and that we’re clearly supposed to find jordan a sympathetic character but#One of the first things we learn about maia is that she had an abusive ex. He was abusive even before he Turned her#that’s literally why she dumped him in the first place!!!#can we put thinking caps on and maybe understand why she was a little reluctant to flatout end the relationship again!
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i dont want to go into work tomorrow -_- BUT I CAN GO IN LATE!!! ^_^ #winning
#hayden.txt#ughhh theres these people that r gonna be there and i really cant stand -_- but its our last time working with them#they want us to go to their program over the summer UMMMM IM NOT DOING THAT LOL! i literally hate them sorry!#oh and they want us to stay late there today too Um i will literally lie and say i have to catch the bus earlier just so i dont have to.#Thats what i did last week LAWL#i’m. I just really cannot stand those peopel oh my god they’re so overbearing and can not read a room#Like we’re all autistic and shy as fuck but even when any of us are clearly overwhelmed they wont STOP TALKING AND ASKING QUESTIONS PLSSSS#LEAVE ME ALONEEEE#and theyre so like… Overly positive but liek… Idk how to explain it… Theyre always like ‘Ok guys this is an invitation you dont have to do#this if you dont want to!’ but then repeat This is just invitation for you to Pleaaaaaassssseee do this ^_^ until you do it LIKE PLS#literal hellfire but i only have to do it for one more day… One more… Then i can never see them again#Sigh. I might end up going to their summer program though. They pay you…
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terrible profilers
(aka the team meets early seasons!spence's not-so-secret girlfriend)
a/n: this came to me in my dream last night and i cannot get over it, pls send asks/requests and tell me what you thought! (look at '#mystery girl!au' on my blog to see more musings about them <3)
cw: reader has she/her pronouns, the team is nosy, my niche personal headcanons of how i think spencer would text, probably more tech inaccuracies
wc: 3.5k
part one
(reblogs are the only way to promote fics on tumblr! please reblog if you enjoyed it :) )
mlist
The moment Spencer walks into the bullpen, he knows something’s up. Garcia never replied to the text he’d sent on Friday night, and he’d hoped she was just busy on their first weekend off in a while, but it’s clear there’s more. Clutching the strap of his satchel, he walks to his desk, observing the strange tension blanketing the room. For one, Hotch and Gideon are in the bullpen, standing in the corner speaking in hushed tones. Weird. They usually go to one of their offices to talk, and either way, they usually are stuck in their offices until lunchtime when they don’t have cases. Another thing. JJ and Penelope are standing around Elle’s desk, which isn’t out of the ordinary, but they’ve swivelled around to stare at Spencer like he’s an alien (which they do on occasion, but Spencer is pretty sure he hasn’t been strange yet. He just walked in!). Derek is sitting on Elle’s desk, leaning over to huddle with the three girls, but he’s frozen with his mouth open, like he just shut up for some reason.
“Uh… Good morning.” Spencer furrows his brows, but tries to shrug it off, more interested in the smell of coffee emanating from the kitchenette. Setting down his bag, he quickly busies himself with pouring his signature overly-sweet (according to you) coffee.
It’s like his movements snap a thread that has been holding his colleagues together, and they suddenly start bustling around the bullpen again. Derek sidles up beside him as he’s stirring in sugar, and Spencer braces himself for some Morgan-esque prod. But what he says has Spencer confused.
“Kid. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Ok, something is going on. Spencer has worked with Derek since he was 22, and they’ve fallen into a very comfortable dynamic ever since. But neither of them have ever felt the need to reassure the other of their closeness.
“What’s up, Morgan? No jabs today?”
Derek stiffens, like he’s been caught in a lie, and scrambles to reply.
“Well… We- Um, Garcia worried about you on Friday. What was up with you leaving so suddenly?”
Spencer has to bite back a smile, memories of you, coming to ‘O Keefe’s just to see him, flooding into his mind. But he answers as smoothly as possible, still turned away from Derek as he elaborates.
“Oh, I felt a bit sick. I think it’s going back and forth from the more arid parts of the country that did it. Did you know, travelling between warmer and colder climates makes you more susceptible to contracting viruses because it strains your immune and musculoskeletal systems, causing the feedback loop of homeostasis to-” Derek puts a hand on his arm, and Spencer quiets.
“Okay, okay, pretty boy, I get it.”
With that, he walks off, and Spencer is left at the kitchenette, stirring his coffee, confused. It’s not like it was a lie, he was feeling a bit nauseous in the bar, so you insisted that you go home. He recovered that same night over a cup of tea, Metropolis on the television, and you cuddled up on the couch next to him.
When he walks back to his desk, mug in hand, he calls out to JJ, still standing by Elle’s desk.
“JJ, no cases today? …JJ?” The blonde is looking at him, but his words seem to fly right over her head, until Elle pokes her shoulder.
“Oh! No, the cases I’m being called about are still pending, we’re probably not leaving on anything until tomorrow.” Spencer smiles softly, glad to have at least one more night sleeping at home this week. Because of his reverie, he doesn’t notice the way JJ, Penelope and Elle are staring at him, befuddled expressions on their faces.
The day continues to be a little weird, much to Spencer’s chagrin. Around 1pm, Gideon emerges from his office again. This, already, is out of the blue. Gideon only leaves his office an average of 3.78 times a day, mainly to go to Hotch’s office, or to go home. This time, however, Gideon marches to Spencer’s desk.
Gideon comes to a stop next to Spencer’s desk chair, and it’s all he can do to muster a blank face and look into his mentor’s eyes.
“Hey, Gideon. What’s… What’s going on?”
The older man sighs wearily, looking down his nose at Spencer, looking uncannily like Spencer’s highschool Calculus teacher when she got irritated at him for being a ‘13 year old know-it-all’.
“Reid. You weren’t sick on Friday, were you?” What is happening? Spencer doesn’t lie, he’s never told Gideon something untrue, so this is incredibly out of the blue.
“Huh? No, what’s wrong? I felt nauseous, which could’ve been a symptom for an inner ear problem, inflammatory bowel disease, gastroenteritis…” Spencer continues to rattle off a list of things he could have had, not noticing the uncharacteristically soft, paternal gaze that Gideon has trained on him.
“...and even a brain tumour, but it was probably because I drank more than I usually do. Why do you think that’s not true?” Spencer finishes his little speech, looking up at Gideon with a confused expression. There’s nothing else the older man can do but sigh, patting his shoulder softly.
“Okay, Reid. Glad you’re feeling better now.” With that, the experienced profiler walks away, not bothering to reply to Spencer’s continued questioning:
“Gideon! What’s wrong? Why are you-” Gideon’s office door slams shut.
Unfortunately, Spencer cannot ignore the rest of the signs, spending the rest of the day in a state of coiled anxiety. Something is going on, but he can’t get anyone to tell him.
Derek and Elle are constantly glancing over at him, unreadable expressions on their faces. Penelope keeps finding excuses to go to Spencer’s desk, and even if Spencer wasn’t a profiler, he’d be able to see the words bubbling up in her throat, but she never says anything.
JJ doesn’t come talk to him at all, which is strange. Instead, she shoots him knowing looks whenever she’s in the bullpen, sending Spencer into a spiral every time she doesn’t say anything about why they’re all acting weird.
He’s even caught Hotch and Gideon peeking through the blinds over their office windows to look at Spencer, with the analytical looks they get when they’re observing a crime scene on their faces. It’s driving Spencer crazy, and he has to tell someone.
You’re leaving your desk at the university when your phone buzzes.
SPENCE <3: Hi. I looked normal when I left the house, right?
Your brow furrows at the text. Normally Spencer isn’t a fan of texting while he’s at work, and you’d told him multiple times how handsome he looked when he left the apartment this morning. He’s wearing his striped white button down and the purple tie you bought him for his birthday last year, he looks pretty. And you made sure to tell him so.
YOU: hi <3
YOU: no spence you look pretty i told you this morning didnt i?
SPENCE <3: You did, thank you. Everyone’s acting weird at work, and I can’t think of what it could be.
YOU: maybe its something with a case?
SPENCE <3: They would tell me if it was that, right?
YOU: ur right
YOU: if you cant think of it with that big beautiful brain its probably something to do with them
There’s a solid minute of silence before he texts you back, and you grin to yourself as you walk through the halls. You can see the flush growing over his face in your mind’s eye, the way he does every time you pay him a cheesy compliment.
SPENCE <3: I guess so. They won’t tell me anything about it, which is strange.
You frown a little, imagining his frustration at being out of the loop. Spencer has expressed his love for his coworkers to you many times, but he’s also told you about his struggles feeling like the ‘baby’ of the office, and the way it makes him feel isolated at times. Racking your brain to think of a way to cheer him up, you check the time on your watch (the twin of which is settled on Spencer’s wrist).
YOU: its nearly 6
YOU: if i leave my building now i can make it to your office in 30mins
YOU: i can pick you up and we could get thai for dinner
YOU: ?
The reply is instantaneous, and you smile, looking forward to seeing him earlier than you’d expected today.
SPENCE <3: That sounds great. I’m finishing up here but text me when you’re in the lobby and I’ll come down.
SPENCE <3: I need to go, I’ve been texting you from the bathroom.
SPENCE <3: See you soon :-)
The last half hour of Spencer’s workday flies by, unlike the way the clock had crawled previously. He finishes up the consults he was working on for the day, and begins packing up the moment the clock hits 18:27.
Derek and Elle are still sneaking glances at him, but Spencer couldn’t care less at this point. As he closes the flap of his satchel, his phone buzzes in his breast pocket. He can’t help but whip out his phone immediately, missing the bewildered looks that pass between his fellow profilers as he smiles down at the screen.
Y/N L/N: in the lobby now! i forgot how fancy it is here i feel underdressed
He doesn’t bother replying, instead opting to leave the bullpen through the glass doors, nodding at Derek and Elle, and pressing the elevator button immediately. He’s so engrossed in his thoughts as he stares at the closed doors, that he realises far too late what’s happening behind him.
He can hear the sounds of shuffling feet, a squeak of surprise (Penelope), hissed insult (Elle to Derek), and a firm clearing of a throat. Hotch. After sighing petulantly, Spencer turns on his heels to find the entire BAU team standing there, faces just as confusing as they’ve been all day.
“I’d ask you what’s wrong, but none of you gave me an answer the last 23 times I asked, so.”
There’s a beat of silence, before Hotch, of all people, says, “Reid, we need to… ask you something. About last Friday.” That’s strange. Spencer cocks his head in confusion.
“What about it? I already told Morgan and Gideon, I was feeling sick, but it turns out it was just that I’d just drank more than I was used to.”
Penelope looks like she’s about to burst, and finally, she blurts it out, voice slightly shrill. “Reid! Who is she?”
“Who is who?”
Derek butts in, a hand on Penelope’s shoulder. “Kid, that girl. The girl you were… close to, on Friday. At the bar?” Oh. That’s what they’re talking about?
“That was Y/N. My girlfriend. Are you mad I didn’t introduce you guys? I thought you were all busy.”
Spencer sees six sets of jaws drop. There’s more silence, before JJ croaks out, “Girlfriend?”
It’s a bit of a sight, to be honest. Penelope has clutched on to Derek, and Derek on to Elle. JJ is gobsmacked, eyes bulging out of their sockets. Even Hotch and Gideon look the most shocked Spencer has ever seen them. But why?
“Uh, yeah. She came to see me because we’d had plans before we decided to go out. Then when she found out I felt sick we went home.”
Gideon looks a little green, and when no one makes a sound, Hotch speaks, his normally stoic voice coming out a little shaky. “Reid, we didn't- We didn’t know you were seeing anybody.”
What? Now they’re being even weirder. Spencer can hear the elevator doors open behind him, but he doesn’t bother. This is something he has to get to the bottom of.
“How did you not know? I’m sure I’ve mentioned having plans with her multiple times. Elle, I told you about the time I went to the movies in New York with her, when we were on that case.” Elle looks more shocked, if that’s possible, but doesn’t say a word.
“Garcia, I asked you to help me find florists that have Gibraltar campions in Vegas that one time.” Penelope jolts, muttering under her breath about ‘idiot geniuses and their mothers’.
“Gideon, I asked you for advice on how to ask her out!” Gideon stiffens, remembering the time Spencer had asked him about his ex-wife. Was that Spencer asking for advice?
“I ran into you, JJ and Morgan, when I was with her, don’t you remember? She was in the aisle over” Derek distinctly remembers a time at the bookstore, they’d seen Spencer, but not noticed anyone with him. JJ shamefully recalls being too busy making fun of Spencer’s heart-studded tie to look around.
“Hotch, I told you about her! When I added her to my emergency contacts?” At this, Hotch pales. A year ago, Spencer had come to him with a request to change his 1st emergency contact from his mother to a Y/N L/N. How he never registered that this was a girlfriend, Hotch would never know, but he stares fixedly at his shoes as he contemplates quitting his job as a profiler.
Spencer looks at them, mystified. How did they not know? It’s not like he was ever hiding you! Of course, Spencer wanted to keep you to himself, so he didn’t talk about you that much, but they were profilers. He assumed they’d known, and just didn't want to embarrass him.
His phone buzzes twice, and he pulls it out to see another text from you.
Y/N L/N: spence are you coming
Y/N L/N: a guy in a suit is eyeing me weird he knows i dont belong come save me
A happy sigh leaves him, before he remembers the people standing in front of him, still gobsmacked. He scrubs a hand down his face wearily, and mutters slowly, as if he’s not sure if he wants to do this.
“She’s downstairs right now, we were going to take the metro home together. Do you… Do you guys want to meet her?” Penelope brightens up, and the rest of the team seem in higher spirits, despite their continued disappointment in themselves. Warily, Spencer opens the elevator door with a press of a button, and they all file in obediently.
“Please don’t be weird.”
“My good doctor, I would never!” He eyes Garcia with a fearful expression, but presses the ground floor button anyway. As the doors close, a strangled shout leaves JJ’s mouth.
“Wait, you live together?”
You are sitting on a bench inside the FBI Headquarters. No matter how many times you drop Spencer off or pick him up, this will always be surreal to you. And, right now, it’s not just surreal, it’s a little scary.
A real Danny Ocean type guy is sitting on a bench across the room, talking on the phone and eyeing you. Clearly, you don’t exactly look like an agent, you know that. Dressed in the uniform of a PhD student, jeans and an oversized Doctor Who t-shirt (Spencer’s), you know that you look out of place.
You’re just hoping Spencer walks out of the elevator before you get escorted out on suspicions that you’re a spy or something.
Like some deity has heard your words, you look up at the ding of the elevator to see Spencer… and a whole gaggle of people behind him, slapping at his shoulders and barraging him with questions. He looks harried, a line between his pretty eyes.
The line disappears, though, when he locks eyes with you. His eyes light up, and his steps grow in length, before he's left his entourage behind, at least for a couple of seconds.
He uses this time to explain to you: “Hi hello I'm so glad you're here and I need to tell you something-” As if on instinct, your hands come up to rest on his upper arms, thumbs moving in circles soothingly as he continues to ramble.
“-and well, they didn't know about you somehow? Which is crazy to me because you know I don't hide you so I don't know where they got that from but either way they were acting crazy, so I suggested they come meet you, and…” The group of people you now recognize to be the BAU have caught up to him, eyes darting between your face and Spencer's. His shoulders slump, and the agitated look returns, if a little less intense.
“Well, here they are.” He motions to the group behind him. “These are my coworkers, Jennifer Jareau, Elle Greenaway, Penelope Garcia, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, and Derek Morgan. Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”
Rising on your toes to see over his shoulder, you wave with a smile, eyes zeroing in on Penelope Garcia, who looks like she's vibrating from excitement, shouldering past Spencer to hold both of your hands.
“Hi! It's so good to meet you! I'd say I've heard a lot about you, but you know that's a lie, we didn't realize you existed until 10 minutes ago, but oh my god! You're here! You're so pretty- Spencer, she's so pretty!” She's practically bouncing up and down, causing Spencer to laugh sheepishly.
“Yeah, Garcia, I know that.” The next few minutes are a barrage of introductions and handshakes, all so brief that you can only get quick first impressions of them all.
Penelope is incredibly kind, not letting go of your hands until Spencer pries her off of you, telling you that you have to come out on girl's night with us, exactly like Spencer described her.
Elle is nearly intimidatingly cool, giving you a handshake and a smile, mentioning that she likes your eyeliner.
Aaron (Hotch? You're not sure how to refer to him) is nowhere near as stoic and intimidating as Spencer makes him out to be, breaking into a smile as he introduces himself, and grinning even wider when you congratulate him and his wife on their newborn child.
JJ is the sweetest. You've heard a lot about Spencer's best friend, and she lives up to expectations, squeezing you into a chaste hug with warm words.
Gideon is a little terrifying. He gives you a handshake, quirking the side of his lips in what you assume to be a smile, but saying very little beyond an introduction. You know how highly Spencer thinks of him, and hope he will warm up to you (Spencer is over the moon that he smiled, and tells you Gideon loved you later that night).
Derek is exactly how you expected him to be. Somehow, he makes you feel wholly comfortable after a single comment, and promises to regale you with all the Spencer stories you'd want (you see him punch Spencer in the arm, grinning and saying he approved).
Spencer pulls you away from them as quick as he can, citing your dinner plans as an excuse. He slings an arm around your waist, leading you out the door as you wave over your shoulder.
“It was great to meet you guys! We should go out to dinner or something!” You hear mixed shouts of agreement from behind you, before the doors shut and it's just you and Spencer, on the sidewalk outside the building.
It's butterfly-inducing, the way you can see the tension leave his shoulders when he turns to look down at you, brown eyes shining.
“I'm sorry that was so last-minute, I know they can be… a lot.” You giggle at the weariness in his tone, resting your forearms on his shoulders.
“They were really nice, Spence. I'm glad to finally meet them. They didn't know who I was?” He sighs, hands tightening slightly on your waist.
“I don't know what goes on with them half the time. I've told them things about you so many times, but they were just being dense, I suppose. They saw us on Friday, at ‘O Keefe’s, and they had no idea I was seeing someone!” He bends to rest his forehead in the crook of your neck with a sigh. As if on instinct, your hands come up to play with his hair.
“I guess they would have found it a little strange that you acted like nothing had changed, huh? Is that why they were being weird today?” He grumbles unintelligible words into your skin, before raising his head to look at you.
“I guess… You know I wasn't hiding you, right? I really thought they knew about you,” The earnestness on his face makes you want to implode, his thumbs rubbing minutely on your waist. Speaking would pop the bubble you've found yourselves in, so you find the best next option for you to show him your assertion.
Your hands roam up his neck to cup either side of his jaw, and slow, slow, slowly, you rise to your toes and kiss him.
Suddenly, Spencer's not worried anymore.
#divas send me an ask and tell me what you thought!!!!#requests are welcome!!#reader is so self-indulgently me in this miniseries#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fic#posted from my phone bc im at the airport tell me if there are any formatting mistakes pls#mystery girl!au
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i want to speak into the void so bad rn
#fuck it we’re doing it in the tags if u see me oversharing no u don’t#mari is irrelevant#basically. for a lot of first semester i thought i had a small crush on one of my best friends bc she was being very touchy w me#and i liked it and objectively she’s hot and has a great personality and was recently single so i was like this is great#but i didn’t say anything to her abt it bc she had been dating her ex a long time so i wanted to give her time plus she kept talking abt how#she wanted to do casual stuff with all of these people and i was like oh i’m one of her best friends it will be Weird if it’s me#but then she almost hooked up w another one of our best friends. it didn’t happen but it was close#and i was like oh ok cool shoot my shot time maybe?? maybe not??#and again every time we would hang out as a group she would be very physically affectionate to me more so than anyone else#aside from her roommate whom she is very very close to but is straight#but i didn’t do anything again bc she started seeing this guy around halloween#so i was like ok let me be respectful she literally stayed with him over holiday break#plus i had met a couple other people that were hot so i was like this is fine i’ve got options#but then like for the superbowl another friend through a party and she said it was an open relationship and i was like Oh Cool#and then. she gets very drunk and ends up kissing multiple people at the party#i am one of the people. it is my first kiss#and i freak out bc i’m like oh my god i did not like that why was it so wet why don’t i like it more if i have a crush on this person wtf#so i’m like ok cool crush over back to friendship#except. she avoids me and all of our friends for weeks bc she is (rightfully) stressed abt school#and then the next time i see her again she is Very Very physically affectionate w me#like sits on my lap hand in my hair stroking my cheek w her thumb saying she missed me and she loves me and it was very overwhelming#and i was like oh. ok crush not gone bc we could literally kiss rn#AND EVEN ONE OF MY FRIENDS POINTS IT OUT AND MAKES THE JOKE LOL ARE U GOING TO KISS AGAIN#and then throughout this party she keeps bringing up the fact that she was my first kiss#and at one point i think she even said something abt “if u ever want practice let me know” which. GIRL.#and then. AND THEN. she announces AT THIS PARTY that her relationship is no longer open.#meaning i have again waited too long and fucked around too much and now i have to wait for them to break up.#which i have no idea if that will even happen any time soon given her track record in relationships.#AND IM SUPPOSED TO HAVE A COFFEE DATE W MY HOT NEIGHBOR TOMORROW BUT THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT.#god FUCKING damnit.
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