#oh my god berthier

[your-dandy-king]

RP Murat reacts to Hasegawa Murat:

....

Is that supposed to be me?

Oh my god, look at me!

My compliments to my artist! He's made me so handsome and perfect here! "A captive of your love"? Yes, that's me, really, what's so terrible about saying that?

I can look at myself all day! Tetsuya Hasegawa has captured my essence, the essence that is Murat! 😘

I respectfully disagree. The key to a healthy and balanced life is taking some time out for yourself, if you get my meaning. Like with anything else, it's better with friends!

I breathlessly await your next installment, Monsieur Hasegawa. You've given me quite the introduction into this tale of your illustrated epic!

[phatburd]

A Little Magic Makes the Empire Go ‘Round

(3272 words) by whisper_that_dares Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 19th Century CE RPF, Historical RPF, Napoleonic Era RPF, French History RPF

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Louis-Alexandre Berthier, Jean Lannes, Jean-Baptiste Bessières, Joachim Murat, Nicolas Oudinot, Laurent de Gouvion Saint-Cyr, André Masséna, Jean-de-Dieu Soult, Michel Ney, Louis-Nicolas Davout, Napoléon I de France | Napoléon Bonaparte, Jean-Andoche Junot, Auguste-Frédéric-Louis Viesse de Marmont Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Letters, Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Historical Figures, Canon-Typical Profanity, Napoleonic Wars, Napoleon’s Marshals, Podfic Welcome

Summary:

Welcome to the a day in the life of Louis-Alexandre Berthier, Chief-of-Staff of Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte and the most overworked wizard in France. Possibly of all time.

Behold, a peek into Berthier’s daily correspondence. Absurd requests from those drama kings — Napoleon’s marshals? Impossibly insane demands from a boss who doesn’t understand work-life balance? Nothing that a little magic can’t solve.

A “What If”: Louis-Alexandre Berthier is a wizard but still needs to deal with bullshit.

[josefavomjaaga]

Letter from Marie Louise to her father

Written shortly after the "handover" ceremony in Sankt Peter close to Braunau. For this ceremony, a wooden building, divided into three parts (French - neutral - Austrian), had been constructed, usually referred to as the "three pavillions" or "three barracks". The leaders of the two delegations, Berthier and Trautmannsdorf, both signed the contract before the bride was handed over to the buyer bridegroom's delegation.

Dearest Papa! Forgive me for not immediately writing to you yesterday, as I should have done, but the journey, which was a little tiring and long, prevented me from doing so. Through Prince Trautmansdorf I have found another opportunity to write to you once more sincerely, and I am happy to seize it to assure you that I am constantly thinking of you and always will.

"Sincerely" here probably means "without measuring my words because I'm being spied upon by my new entourage".

God has given me the strength to endure happily even the last painful blow, the separation from all my loved ones, in Him alone I have all my trust, He will help me and give me courage, and I will find my reassurance in the consolation of having done my duty to you by making this sacrifice. Yesterday I arrived in Ried very late, still preoccupied with the thought that I might be separated from you forever. Today I arrived at two o'clock in the French camp in the barracks at Braunau, after staying in the Austrian barrack for some time, I moved to a throne in the neutral barracks, after the papers had been read, all my people kissed my hand, at that moment I really didn't know what I was doing, a cold shiver overcame me and I became so upset that the Prince of Neufchatel began to cry.

Which must have been a sight to behold: Berthier crying tears of emotion while his new empress starts to panic and desperately looks around for the emergency exit.

Prince Trautmansdorf handed me over to him [...]

... and a kleenex, too ...

[...] and my entire court was presented to me, oh God, what a difference between the French and Viennese ladies! --- The Queen of Naples came to meet me in the other room, I embraced her, and showed myself remarkably friendly towards her, but I do not quite trust her, I believe that it was not zeal for service alone that was the cause of her journey.

That's a very interesting first assessment of Caroline Murat. Marie Louise may have been less naive than she made herself out to be.

She travelled with me to Braunau, and here I had to hold a two-hour toilette, I assure you that I am already as perfumed as all the other French women.

Apparently, the difference mentioned above was largely attributable to odour.

The Emperor Napoleon has sent me a splendid golden robe, but he has not yet written to me - if I had to leave you, I would much rather be with him than travelling with all those ladies.

That's one thing that will remain true for a large part, I believe. With the one exception of the duchess de Montebello, she did not really appreciate the ladies of the French court (and Louise Lannes she apparently appreciated to some extent because she was not much suited for life at court).

Oh God, how I regret not being able to still spend the happy days with you, only now am I learning to appreciate them. I assure you, dearest Papa, that I am very sad and cannot yet console myself. I hope your catarrh will be completely over; I include you in my prayers every day. Forgive my poor scribbling, but I have so few moments to myself, I will kiss your hands a thousand more times and have the honour of being Dearest Papa! Your most submissive and obedient daughter Louise Braunau 16th March 1810

(Source: Helfert "Maria Louise, Erzherzogin von Österreich, Kaiserin der Franzosen", Wien 1873)

[cadmusfly]

Who Is A Dragon In Marshalate Dragons AU Because Making All The Infantry Marshals Dragons Is Too Much Scales

Post 1

Post 2

Marshals

Dragons: Berthier, Lannes, Soult, Masséna, Lefebvre, Mortier, Oudinot, St Cyr

Humans: Bernadotte, Augereau, Brune, Moncey, Perignon, Serurier, MacDonald, Poniatowski, Jourdan, Murat, Ney, Davout, Kellerman, Suchet, Victor, Marmont, Grouchy

Not A Secret Dragon Totally: Bessieres

Non marshals

Dragons: Junot, Desiree Clary, Bernadotte’s minister Magnus Brahe oh my god, either Trobriand or Morand, either Wellington or Picton, maybe Desaix

Sea Serpents: Villeneuve, Cochrane (and babby Marryat), maybe Dadmiral Pellew

Definitely Human: Napoleon, Joséphine, most noble/royalty, Talleyrand lol, most of the wives of people I turned into dragons

Contemplating having Ida St Elme be a dragon shapeshifter because of that historical fantasy series based on her having her be a Special Magic Person and I’m not sure her relationship with Ney works if she’s scaly all the time

This is partially informed by a desire to have interesting characters as dragons but also wanting to keep some interesting characters as still human, the underlying metaphor of monstrous draconic avarice as linked to greed and plundering but also some humans should also just be like that, and also vibes and who would be funnier as a dragon

Anyone can write fic or be inspired or steal my ideas or write stuff based on anyone being a dragon idk I’m just addicted to worldbuilding I need to finish a few other projects before thinking about if I want to write a proper fic or drawing for this, might post snippets if they emerge into my mind though

I am open to suggestions and arguments as well

Under the cut is some thoughts inspired by @impetuous-impulse about arranged dragon marriages and in universe cultural stuff

The legend of St Martha taming the tarasque

is slightly different in this world - after the tarasque is tamed, it is not killed by the people with spears. The same is with St George and the Dragon, where the dragon is tamed and not killed as a demonstration of Christianity's might.

I'm not going to go as far as to say Jesus was a dragon, but from chatting to Impulse and thinking about it, and also that I turned a bunch of military nobility into dragons

In this world there's a cultural Thing around the idea of an ingenue* woman - or man sometimes - being known as a "dragon-wife", a representative and rider, tamer of the monstrous beast, offered to sate the dragon's greed

This overlaps with the idea of a dragon's "favoured person", a person they grow so close to that the dragon-stupour that they fall into when exhausted is lessened and shortened by the presence of that person, and also there might be something about a dragon being able to telepathically talk to them over larger distances, being able to share emotions and senses

People know that the dragon-wife/dragon-rider is not necessarily a dragon's bonded/favored person, but it's better if they are. It's a very political thing for dragons with high titles and high ranks, to be accompanied by a charming maiden.

But of course, these maidens often aren't allowed to have any power or prowess! Though some do carve it out, and some by virtue of having a giant reptilian beast on their side do end up in interesting and exciting places.

Think of it like a beauty and a beast thing.

*ingenue was attested in 1848, too late for the time period damn

also i would like to have more dragons who identify as ladies, dragons do not have physical sex in this setting but they do identify as gender - i doubt explicitly nonbinary dragons will be popping up for a while though and the focus of this is the land with the very gendered language so they just default to unfortunate il

[adelemadouce]

Mazurka

These last days of 1804 were filled with activities purely for pleasure. Every day there was some kind of celebration somewhere that had to be planned, prepared, rehearsed and finally announced. We received invitations to balls, soirées, receptions and concerts almost every day. During the day I was busy with new wardrobes for all these celebrations, radiant robes in silky satin, in fresh colors, vanilla, lilac, rosé, and of course peach! For all occasions I wore the matching slim-cut empire dress in my own style, and every now and then I saw myself being copied by elegant ladies. It was very amusing! On one occasion I received a compliment from Madame La Maréchal Berthier, who was a very nice person whom I liked and who always amazed me when she appeared on the arm of her husband's mistress, the proud Madame Visconti. "Dear child, your fashion is certainly advantageous for a slender silhouette like yours, but with feminine curves like ours (Mme Berthier and Mme Visconti had almost identical figures) your style would forbid us from breathing!" She giggled. Both women had ample breasts.

"But Madame, ...you should show your waist, every woman should! This narrow crotch gives women with a full bust an exciting figure! Your seamstress doesn't need much skill to do that. Just try it!" The Empress had overheard our conversation and said with a smile: " Our Adèle is going to turn all our heads!"

Oh, that was not my intention at all! I was overjoyed that I had turned a certain person's head, and turned it big time! Between all these splendid events there were numerous hours of sensual amusement for me and the Emperor. However, we had not made any progress with our "mirror thing". The Emperor sometimes got annoyed (which I really liked!) when I couldn't follow his instructions. "Concentrate, sweetie...and keep your eyes open! Look in the mirror!" But all I could do when he took me so hard was beg him not to stop! I whimpered: "...don't stop...don't stop!" with my eyes closed. Then he looked at me grimly (which is just heavenly when he does that!) and thundered at me in a loud voice: "My God, what's so difficult about that?!" I had been sitting on his thighs and felt his hard member beneath me, but then I slipped into the sheets, lay on my back and smiled. He was kneeling next to me and looking down at me angrily. "And if you demonstrate it to me, Sire? You must show me how to keep your eyes open while doing it!" It's really amazing how much his face can change from one second to the next. One minute his face was filled with iron-hard anger and the next moment it's replaced by a soft smile, as if the sun was breaking through the dark clouds. "What is this? Are you giving orders to your Emperor already, young lady?" He lay down next to me and kissed me sweetly. "You want me to show you?" I couldn't answer right away, his tongue was in my throat. He licked my chin as I nodded and gave the command: "Do it! Show me how it's done!" A while later I watched his face as he looked up in the mirror; he was more aroused than I was because I had pleasured him with my mouth beforehand. He looked in the mirror as seriously as if he were watching a military operation. The Emperor lifted my hips, thrust harder, looked in the mirror, thrust, thrust, thrust, looked...closed his eyes and roared so loudly that the walls shook. He had closed his eyes! My little fists pounded on his shoulders: "...your eyes closed! You had your eyes closed!" He buried his face on my neck and started laughing. We both laughed. It was marvelous! I simply couldn't imagine a couple experiencing happier moments than we did!

But then the Emperor made a mistake. It happened at the Murat's Christmas ball at the Élysée Palace. I had attended Madame Campan's institute for several years with Princess Caroline Murat, Napoléon's youngest sister. Caroline and I were both so different that we could never really get to know each other. I believed (and still believe it) that she was actually a nice young woman, but one who had no values whatsoever, which probably was due to the lack of upbringing from a father. Her always arrogant manner gave her something unsympathetic, even frightening. Who want to be friends with a woman, who had no empathy at all and would drop you just as quickly as she had reached out to you? While still a schoolgirl and before she married Murat, she boasted about her future love life with her husband in a manner, which made us girls blush with shame. And Caroline had found the perfect husband in Murat! The Emperor himself despised the tall Gascon. "He is certainly one of my best men, but the guy has no morals! He always has to have a woman near him. Even in the field he needs his whores. And at home he screwed his wife's chaperone behind a curtain!" I wanted to avoid the Murats, but this was not easy given my Empress's obligations to them.

Well, you can't imagine the magnificence and splendor of the imperial balls if you haven't seen it! The Murat's had not yet fully moved into the Élysée Palace, some parts of the palace were still being renovated, but the grand ballroom sparkled in the light of candles and mirrors as if it were the palace of angels. A true Elysium!

That evening I was sitting on a padded bench at the edge of the dance floor, next to the old Duchesse de Chevreuse. Behind me stood Duchâtel, who was talking to Monsieur Denon, the curator of the Louvre Museum. The Grand Marshal stood a little way off in his white gala uniform. I smiled at him, Duroc bowed and stood there as if nailed to the spot. When the orchestra started playing, I eagerly awaited my first dance. My dance card was full! I was besieged by the most attractive gentlemen: Sigismond, Rapp, the young Périgord, Jules de Canouville, Flahaut le Coucou! The young men were all adjutants and were among the most sought-after bachelors at court. I held my fan open and waved it gently in front of my cleavage. As the dance floor filled up, I saw Sigismond coming towards me. I had promised him the first Contré. Just as he bowed to me, the Grand Marshal approached him and whispered a few words. Sigismond clicked his heels together, bowed to me again and left. I didn't understand. Sigismond went back to the group of gentlemen, from which he had come. The gentlemen whispered and gave me regretful looks. I looked questioningly at Duroc, but the Grand Marshal ignored me! Then my eyes searched for the Emperor. He was strolling through the groups of guests with Berthier and Murat, chatting with the ladies, flirting with the Empress, in good spirits. I felt frozen and just couldn't believe it. Dance after dance was played, but no one came to ask me anymore. The Emperor approached me and Mme de Chevreuse. He stopped behind our bench, I felt his gaze on my neck, my shoulders. I laid my fan over my hard thimbles; I did not want him to see them. A waltz was played. I saw Églée and Michel Ney on the dance floor. They were the most beautiful couple of the court! From behind I heard Murat ask: "...peach flavored, Sire?" The Emperor answered with his sonor voice: "...the sweetest juice in the world! But you have to suck the juice preferably straight from the fruit...so delicious!" Of course he wanted me to hear it. I stared at the dance floor. The couples spun before my eyes, the ladies' silk rustled, how I would have loved to dance with them! Behind me the Emperor said: "...ahh, the Ney's! We look forward to their performance." The Ney's waltz dance performance was one of the highlights of the imperial balls. The couple whirled across the dance floor in perfect harmony. Églée floated in her husband's arms, both smiling and all the guests, without exception, watched them as they both celebrated their love. But the best moment came when the dance ended, the couple slowed down and finally stopped. They both looked at each other, Michel touched his wife's chin and bent his face down to hers. He kissed her gently at first, then more strongly, until Églée threw her arms around his neck and they both kissed uninhibitedly! The Emperor began to applaud, someone whistled, finally everyone applauded. The couple ended the kiss, both turned to the Emperor, Églée sank into a curtsy and Michel bowed. When the next dance began, the Emperor suddenly stepped next to the bench I was sitting on, leaned towards me and whispered in my ear: "We both can do that better!" He got up and left. All I noticed was that everyone, absolutely everyone! had seen it. - The Emperor whispered something in Madame Duchâtel's ear!

It was Eugène who saved me. He came straight up to me, bowed and offered me his arm. I had already stood up, hoping to save what could be saved of my reputation. Now on Eugène's arm I approached the nearest footman, who bent down and gave me my train. Eugène put his arm around my waist and we spun the Mazurka with the other couples. Duroc did not intervene, so this dance with Eugène was allowed! My admirers also found new courage. Sigismond and Rapp did not let me out of their sight. "...and now all of Paris will be wondering: what did he whisper in her ear?" Eugène smiled and continued. "...I advise you, Adèle, just make something up. Whatever it is, just tell people something! Even if Maman asks you...and she will!...tell her something, just not the truth!" We continued to turn. "Maman probably didn't notice that the Emperor refused to let the adjutants dance with you, but she will find out at some point. Deny knowing about it, Adèle... just deny it! Maman uses the same method to keep her position!" Eugène held me tenderly, I felt safe in his arms. "Can I ask you one question, Adèle,...just one?" I looked up at him with wide eyes. "Of course, mon cher cousin!" He was no longer smiling, but looked at me worried. "Do you love him, Adèle?" I swallowed and lowered my gaze, disturbed. I was shaking. "...so much!!!" Eugène stated. He sighed and looked over my head at the dancing couples. "...then it's all worth it!" Suddenly the Grand Marshal stood next to us. "Your Imperial Highness, do you permit me to abduct Madame Duchâtel?" We stopped and Eugène held my hand tightly. "...only with great reluctance, Your Excellency!" But he knew that he could not object. Eugène therefore leaned over my hand, which was in a long white glove, and kissed it. "Please think of my advices, Madame, and remember that I will always be your servant!"

When he had gone, I linked arms with Duroc. "He knows!" I said, looking up at him. Duroc put his hand on mine, protectively. "Many people know, Adèle!" He added quietly: "...the Emperor is happy with you, he cannot and will not hide it any longer!" An unknown fear rose within me. "And the consequences...am I supposed to bear?" But Duroc immediately reassured me: " There will be no consequences! You must not forget, Adèle, that the Emperor is free to do whatever he wants!" Duroc stopped. "You should be happy, Adèle. If you were just a momentary romance for the Emperor, he would treat the affair with discretion. But you are much more to him, and he has apparently decided to let the world know this!" I was desperate and appealed to Duroc as my protector. "But why? He's putting me in great danger! I don't want to be the center of attention like that....I'm afraid of it!" Duroc's eyes wandered to Duchâtel, who was watching me and the Grand Marshal curiously. "The Emperor can explain that to you best himself. I have been instructed to take you to the palace. Please, Adèle, inform your husband that you will be coming home later!" I went to Duchâtel and told him that I had been called to the palace. "What did the Emperor whisper to you, Adèle?" Duchâtel wanted to know. "Nothing!" I turned around and left him standing there. I knew Duchâtel, he would ask me about it many times in the next few days.

It was the first time I had been taken to the Tuileries late at night. Duroc led me to the first floor, to the Emperor's apartments. All the doors opened before me as if by magic. I was afraid that I would be taken to the Emperor's secret boudoir, that small, intimate chamber in which he had last received Madame de Vaudey. I did not want to be taken to that boudoir under any circumstances! Fortunately, Duroc took me to a small antechamber that was usually reserved for dignitaries. It was heated, a fire were burning and candles were lit. On a small table stood a carafe with Cognac and a tray with small fruit cakes and belgian pralinés. "Sit down, Adèle, ...make yourself comfortable. It may take a while." Duroc gallantly helped me out of my satin coat. He laid it on a chair and then disappeared. I sat down on a small sofa and pulled my legs up, I was tired. At some point that evening, I poured myself a cognac. And then another...and another. I must have fallen asleep then. Someone had grabbed my shoulders and was shaking me gently. "Adéle...wake up!" I saw the Emperor's face in front of me, behind him, at the foot of the sofa, stood Duroc. "Wake up, chérie!" The Emperor suddenly grimaced and turned his head back. "Oh dear, my little one is drunk!" He held his hand in front of his nose; I seemed to have a horrible smell of alcohol on my breath. "What did you do, Adèle?" I was now fully awake. "I drank a glass of cognac." The Emperor sat down next to me. "One glass...or the whole bottle?" He laughed heartily, stroked my tired face and said: "I know I really messed up tonight...forgive me, my darling, I was too cocky!" Despite my breath, he kissed me on the mouth. "Can you forgive me, Adèle?" I took his hand and kissed it. "Sire, I am not suited to scandalous appearances! I am too afraid of them! And what should I say to the Empress now? That is what I am most afraid of...!" The Emperor exchanged a glance with Duroc. "Listen to me, chérie...I will smooth things over again!" He bent his head close to me. "....I will sleep with the Empress...it will make her submissive again....she will forgive me everything!" I looked helplessly at his mouth. "But will she forgive me too, Sire?" I felt so miserable, which was also due to the cognac, and I still longed for him to calm me down. He could! "It's not your fault at all, my sweet! You haven't done anything wrong. The Empress knows that...and she will leave you alone, I will make sure of that! Don't you trust your Emperor?" I was able to smile again and put his hand on my heart. The Emperor immediately grabbed my little breast. "The Grand Marshal has a surprise for you," the Emperor then said. I looked up at Duroc. "Yes, Madame, I have. The Empress is going to Malmaison for a few days. You will be able to spend this time here in the palace with the Emperor!"

Yes, that was indeed a surprise! The Emperor beamed, his eyes sparkled. "Are you happy? You will sleep in my bed...in the Emperor's bed! I will show you everything...how do you like that...hmm?...my sweet Adèle?" I nodded smiling. "Oh, that sounds wonderful, Sire!" But Napoléon noticed that I wasn't really happy about it. "Are you still afraid?" He took me in his arms, kissed my neck. Duroc disappeared discreetly, leaving me alone with the Emperor. "Sire, please, don't make me a 'maîtresse en titre'....I'm just a little lady-in-waiting...and not a courtesan!" He sighed. "I love you, Adèle...and I want to shout it out to the world! I know it's unwise...I don't do it again, I promise!" He kissed me passionately. Then he hummed with pleasure, it was amazing how quickly I could arouse him. "...ahh, look what you have done now!" He chuckled. I saw the bulge in his breeches. "....the Empress will be able to enjoy it. She should thank you, chérie!" I grabbed the bulge and heard him whisper in my ear: "I'm not sending you out into the cold night, my darling. You have court duty tomorrow...very good! Duroc will take you to your apartment right away. Rest. Sleep! I'll be back tomorrow morning...at nine!" He freed himself from my arms and left. Outside the door I heard him saying to Duroc: "What should I do?...this girl makes me so horny that I could turn the world upside down!"

But I didn't want that! No! I didn't want that at all!

.

[frassycassy]

For the three names & a number meme:

Davout, Soult, & Berthier for #5

Ney, Lannes, & Murat, for #10

Oh my god thank you so much for sending in an ask-

5. go on a six hour road trip with (no car radio, you choose who drives), sit next to on a six hour plane flight, sit across from on a six hour train journey

-For the road trip, I'd choose Berthier. He just seems like a chill baby to be around with. I'd go on a six hour plane flight with Soult; I'd love to talk to him about baking stuff and possibly form a friendship with him HAHAHA. And for the train journey, I'd choose Davout. He just seems like the best choice for this tbh xD

10. netflix and chill with, go ice-skating with, play dodgeball against

-I'd Netflix and chill with Ney. No debate. For ice skating, I'd want to be with Lannes, cuz I'm sure he'd rock those skates. And for dodgeball, I'd pick Murat. I was originally thinking of Lannes for that option but then I realized that he'd obviously destroy me in dodgeball LOL

Thanks again for asking! <3

[napoleondidthat]

I love Berthier, okay? I love him so much that I surprise myself. He's my favourite dead person and only my love for Josephine comes anywhere half as close as how much I love him. And I don't even know why but the first time I read about the Marshals and finally came to Berthier's bit, i was like "oh god. No. Not another dead guy. And certainly not one about whom there's hardly anything written" But fate hates me and three years later(I was a late bloomer) I'm still desperately in love.😭

Oh no! Well, I happen to love Berthier myself (not as deeply as you do :) ), but Berthier is a great guy. He’s a very likable personality and he was sometimes so mistreated by Napoleon, you can’t but help to want to give him a big hug. Berthier deserves some love!

[histoireettralala]

Lannes and Murat stare at each other for maybe thirty seconds of perfect impassivity.

"Why the hell not," says Lannes, and Murat shrugs. Why the hell not indeed ? Where is the harm ? It's just a movie. He joins Lannes in the plush, luxurious seat, and Lannes browses through the movie titles, laughing out loud at some of them. The brief synopses soon have them in fits of laughter, especially when Murat remarks how this one sounds remarkably like Berthier's improbable menage a trois. Ribald jokes and vicious sallies just fly along shared recollections. Lannes clicks to watch the preview, and bursts into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Oh GOD," he pants, "the guy DOES look like Berthier."

Murat, wiping tears from his eyes, bends over to reach the pocket of his coat, trying to grip his phone. He's laughing so hard he misses the first three times.

"What are you doing, " Lannes manages between a burst of laughter and a joke.

"I've GOT to tell Józef about this", Murat explains as he brings the phone to his ear. "Dobry wieczór, my friend!" he shouts. "Bonsoir Joachim!" Lannes hears in return.

Fifteen minutes, Ney groans, wrapped in steam and delicious, hot water. Is it too much to ask for fifteen sorry minutes of peace! He considers getting out of the tub to yell at the two preschoolers he's obviously babysitting against his will. Maybe this would buy him a much needed break. On the other hand... they're supposedly adults, right, although he always had his doubts about their maturity. If they set the room on fire... Oh fuck them, Ney decides. It's on them.

The world is on fire, God is dead, Ney doesn't care. He's having his bath, come hell or high water.

Part 2 of my and @histoireettralala’s ongoing Murat/Lannes/Ney AU. (Divvying it up due to length.) Part 1 can be found here.

***

Murat struts into the room, studying the furnishings with a connoisseur’s attention to detail and nodding in approval like a monarch inspecting a new palace. He is even more pleased with himself than normal. Why didn’t his friends entrust him more often when it came to handling their accommodations? Imagining the one-star hovel they’d be staying in if either of the other two had handled it, he shudders involuntarily.

“I’ve gotta hand it to you this time, Joachim,” Lannes concedes. “This is exquisite.” Murat beams. Of course it is! They should know by now what impeccable taste he has.

Ney’s pleasure, on the other hand, is obvious purely from his lack of further grumbling. He puts his bag on one of the beds and goes to inspect the hot-tub. Yes. Yes, very nice indeed. Eyeing the complimentary lavender bath salts on the edge of the tub, he informs the others that he’s going to have a nice, long, rejuvenating soak.

Lannes tells him to enjoy the bath and don’t worry, of course we’ll be good!! He turns on the TV and explores the options, while Murat browses the room service menu. WE CAN ORDER MOVIES, Lannes announces. He reads through the categories list, in alphabetical order. Action, adult—

Murat’s head shoots up. WAIT, WHAT.

[mus-brunneis]

Rules: Answer the questions and tag some peeps you wanna know better!

Tagged by: @inferno-principe

Name/Nickname(s): Manon / Pigeon (Lord)

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Height: 5′2″

Orientation: aro-ace

Ethnicity: Caucasian(?)

Favorite fruit: Wild peaches

Favorite season: Fall

Favorite Book Series: Admittedly I don’t read a lot of books...

Some Favorite Fictional Characters: Sesshomaru, Rin (Inuyasha), Sephiroth, Vincent Valentine, Zack Fair (FFVII), Xerxes Break (Pandora Hearts), Berthier, Eles (Grand Guignol Orchestra), Itachi Uchiha (Naruto), Loki (Thor), All of my friends’ OCs, and many many MANY more

Favorite Flower: Oh god I love so many flowers. But some of my favs are lycoris/spider lilies, morning glory, bleeding heart plants, white egret/dove flowers, Holy Ghost (dove) orchids, blue roses, lily of the valley, aaand forget-me-nots

Favorite Scent: blueberry

Favorite Animals: I adore all animals, but I’m biased towards doves/pigeons :’D

Favorite Artist/Band: Too many to name, though lately I’ve listened a lot to Stars, Coldplay, Nightwish and Red

Average Sleep Hours: Varies greatly between 3-12 hours :’D

Number Of Blankets:  ½, because I keep rolling around

Dream Trip: Meeting up with all my good friends

Last Thing I Googled: ‘dove flower’

Blog Created: 9th of April, 2012 :’D

How Many Blogs I Follow: 302

Number Of Followers: 501

Do I Get Asks Regularly: Every now and then for prompts/memes.

Tagging: You, the reader. Go fill this in, I tagged you :v

[kit-swan]

Oh my god, Berthier is ruthless! Artemis acted like a normal cat, but she didn't even spare a cat that heard their plan?!!!

[sarazanmai]

Thoughts on the “Sailor Moon Crystal” English dub. Season two episode two.

wait a minute they cut the part where Chibi-Usa saw them un transform

what I mean is in the manga this confrontation occurs after she undid her transformation so instead of Sailor Moon confronting Chibi-Usa its Usagi

why did they change that? having her do this while in full senshi attire makes her look absent minded like she just let the secret out she’s Sailor Moon (granted Chibi-Usa knew this already, but she didn’t know that) to someone she thinks is conspiring against her

also in the manga she almost hits her

I get why that was cut

how did Luna ring the doorbell?

um okay if a cat stands on you while you’re asleep, you aren’t staying asleep

the people who made these episodes went in knowing the Chibi-Usa reveal isn’t a surprise to anyone anymore and it shows in the dub because that’s clearly Stephanie and Robbie’s voices (though Stephanie is going for a more regal thing)

that isn’t really a bad thing because in between the manga, the 90s anime, seramyu, and so on plenty of media depicting this plot exists so nobody is going to be surprised that a child who is named Usagi and wears odango hair and has the Silver Crystal is her daughter

why isn’t she calling them Mama and Papa....

Tuxedo Mask Puppet in the house

I like that Mamoru just has this, he just has this thing laying around his apartment for some reason

in all my years reading and rereading the manga I never imagined him doing a voice for it though, nice touch

but Puppet Tuxie is acting just like 90s Tuxie, its funny

I forgot Luna-P can talk

SMALL LADY

sorry it just feels nice to hear

“I wonder if she could save my Mommy” they’re the same person you ignorant child

I need you to save....yourself...

I get it, I know Chibi-Usa rationalizes them as separate entities (same with Endymion and Mamoru which has...disturbing results) but they are still the same person anyway

still the idea of going back in time to persuade a person to do things to save their future self is a good idea, even Toriyama didn’t fuck that up and he’s an idiot

oh my God Ikuko we don’t need to know all the breakfast options you have, why is her dialogue still going when she’s off camera?

she won’t hug Mamoru back, that shows how Not Happy she is

the Malefic Black Crystal

I didn’t actually know “malefic” was a real word

so he still has that vaginal looking third eye

I mean I knew they wouldn’t change it, but Jesus Naoko did it need to look like this?

maybe its a metaphor for how much he craves that pussy

“I’m sure he wasn’t questioning anything, Saphir is a good little soldier, always faithful” everything Rubeus says is so...embellished and I like that

like this works way better than it did when he tried it for Neji

so remember how I said Cindy Robinson was also playing Berthier? well now I can tell she voices Amy Rose because this is like if Amy tried to sound high class

still the fact that this is Beryl’s actress shows her range

Ami listening to the water is weirdly soothing

seeing Ami swim makes me happy

I forgot Ami had a dad

Berthier’s voice works, its just mind blowing this is still the same person behind Beryl

also does this interviewer not notice what she’s wearing?

I think Berthier was my second favorite sister as a kid, I always liked her design

the Rabbit

she just really wants a good vibrator

why am I two episodes into this season and referencing vaginas so much?

poor Ami is another victim to the “abandoned by dad” trope

I love the muffled sounds Usagi makes when he mouth is covered

all that checkmate needed was a mic drop

the noises these monsters make are...interesting

DAAAAUUUUUAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH

hi Rubeus

bye Rubeus

tune in next time for some eye boobs

[phatburd]

Reblogging this here from Murat's RP blog. Because oh my god.

RP Murat reacts to Hasegawa Murat:

....

Is that supposed to be me?

Oh my god, look at me!

My compliments to my artist! He's made me so handsome and perfect here! "A captive of your love"? Yes, that's me, really, what's so terrible about saying that?

I can look at myself all day! Tetsuya Hasegawa has captured my essence, the essence that is Murat! 😘

I respectfully disagree. The key to a healthy and balanced life is taking some time out for yourself, if you get my meaning. Like with anything else, it's better with friends!

I breathlessly await your next installment, Monsieur Hasegawa. You've given me quite the introduction into this tale of your illustrated epic!

[histoireettralala]

Part 60!

Berthier: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city. Napoleon: Well, that was entirely predictable. Berthier: One of them punched a gang member. Napoleon: Lannes ? Berthier: Ney, actually. Napoleon: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

**

Murat, watching power lines fall down: Lannes, Ney! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!

**

Murat, dramatically- He called me a fool! Napoleon, sick of Murat's shit- He wasn't wrong.

**

Gouvion- Yeah, I don't like people. Bessières- Oh, well now that's not fair, Gouvion. Have you met all of them ? Gouvion- I've met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

**

Berthier- I swear to God I'm the only one here with a braincell! Augereau, Lannes, Murat, and Poniatowski- ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!