#napoleonic shitpost

[ravewing]

and then he lit moscow on fire

[crazykotyara12]

The Struggle

[bobbyfulldark]

i mean he must miss battling with nappy

[galakteon]

lannes & davout playing chained together

[phatburd]

Napoleonic War Survival Tips for the French Army

1. Don’t refer to Marshal Murat’s uniform as “peacock wear” within earshot of him.

2. When Napoleon pulls out a map, don’t ask, “Are we lost?”

3. If your cannonball doesn’t quite reach the enemy lines, just blame the wind. Or Berthier.

4. Don’t accidentally toast “To King Louis” at an officers’ dinner. Ever.

5. Avoid playing cards with Marshal Lannes – unless you enjoy losing your entire month’s pay.

6. Foraging in enemy territory: Always ask what’s in the stew before you eat it.

7. If you’re sent to negotiate peace, don’t open with, “Our emperor said this would be easy.”

8. During winter campaigns, remember: snowballs do not replace musket balls.

9. Don’t try to outdo Napoleon in recalling historical battles. You’ll lose.

10. If Napoleon is inspecting the troops, resist the urge to ask, “Is it true you’re shorter than Murat?”

11. Never, under any circumstances, suggest that Wellington’s redcoats “don’t look so tough.”

12. If Marshal Ney orders a charge, just assume it’s going to last until nightfall.

13. Do not ask Marshal Davout if his nickname Iron Marshal comes from his cooking.

14. If your bayonet charge fails, remember: retreat is just “advancing in the opposite direction.”

15. If someone says “This mission is simple,” expect nothing but complications.

16. In case of defeat, remember: it’s always the Austrians’ fault. Even if they aren’t there.

17. During peace negotiations, “bombing their latrines” is not considered a formal strategy.

18. If you happen to capture a British officer, refrain from gloating by saying, “See you in Paris!”

19. When bivouacked near rivers, don’t bet on crossing without some form of disaster.

20. Finally, do not point the cannons at the Emperor’s tent, even as a joke. Especially not as a joke.

[senechalum]

" Tout à vous, mon cher Lannes" - NB

Have a huge illustrationI worked on during a few weeks, as I've been very, very busy with my work recently :) I'm trying new things recently, so in the end it's more of a practice drawing rather than a fully worked illustration. I still had fun making it though !

I have few requests, some dating since August, that I'm going to finally make this month. Sorry for keeping some of you waiting ! I'll also try to post more often, as I'm finally feeling less tired than I used to feel recently :c

I hope you'll like it !

[thekenobee]

Sharpe + Text Posts (Part 20)

NOTE: the Agriculture text post is a reference to Wellington in Waterloo (1970) where an officer praises the beans to which Wellington replies: "If there's one thing about which I know positively nothing- it's agriculture."

The Feminism text post, on the other hand is a reference to the Duke's relationship with women- the Duke took their opinions seriously and enjoyed discussing events with them- he did not treat women as intellectually inferior, nor did he feel anything was wrong with them being involved in political discussions.

[kelvinthegoatt]

Dude

[goddammitjosef]

a bitch

[sunsolii]

Decided it'd be fun to turn random Smiski pics from Pinterest into Napoleonic shitposts, enjoy

[josephponiatowski]

Friend hugs!

Yess who doesn’t love to hug your friend?

I think that Pepi is a type of guy who loves hugs, so…

I made a little, cute sketch! I hope you all like it!

Well, of course everyone will like it… expect Napoleon. He doesn’t look quite happy on that drawing.

[ravewing]

i cant believe napoleon and alexander i invented gay people

[crazykotyara12]

[bobbyfulldark]

whats up guys

[galakteon]

yeah

[cedyat]

Just realized yesterday was the 218th anniversary of the dissolution of the Holy Roman Empire.