#oh look its my husband
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Callum Turner for LA Times
#callum turner#oh look its my husband#had to share this photo he looks so good#i love his face so much#its so sharp and square and yes pls#boys#callum#pub ken
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! heās such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to youĀ
but if he is the work husband, heās very........ dutiful in his role. thereās a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and heās good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file thatās really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of itāheās made himself your business, your partner; heās made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.Ā
heās also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a weekās worth of work done in about a day, but that doesnāt mean heāll just use his talents for anybody. heās your secretary, so heās at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know heās the best, but also that heās off limitsānot because you wonāt share him, but because satoru wonāt let himself be shared.Ā
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and youāre confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, āthatās for the lunch date you have with me, of course!ā hanging up your coat in your closet for you, āiām paying, see you soon, sweets.ā and because youāre great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely dateĀ
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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Tonight is a great night to think fondly on Haleth and Caranthir. I think they would make such a funny couple.
Imagine??? The Big Tall Broody Scowling Kinslayer Who Is Also The One Reason The Economy Is Functioning At All Between The Different Races/Elvish Factions Who Probably Is Dying To Tell King Thingol/His Cousins To Fuck Off At Any Given Moment and hes looming over this short human lady??
This short human lady that Can, Will, and Already Has told him to pull the stick out of his ass and bullies him into doing normal townsfolk chores??? Lord Carathir, Master Economist and a Weaver with the skill to rival his grandmother, sitting there and darning socks cause his tiny mortal wife told him too. His reward will be a kiss on the cheek but she'll scold him while he does it because he said a mean thing about his Cousin Finrod in his last letter to her while he KNEW Finrod was visiting her.
Only three things in the world keep Caranthir in check: His Eldest Brother, The Lord Himring, The Current Head of the Feanorian Faction of Noldor, and Former High King; the idea that if he didn't complete his brothers' tax paperwork and run the Trade Routes then the Nolofinweans and Arafinweans would become more economincally important And We Cant Have That; and his 4'11 wife he met bloodied and wrathful on a battlefield screaming at an orc over the corpse of her brother-- it was love at first sight
#caranthir#haleth#halenthir#silmarillion#amber rambles#I honestly just love them they would be such a power couple like i can see them at banquets looking untouchable#but theyre just bitching about the other guests over wine#In my mind they are the country/goth couple of the year#Cara is used to things like this cause he grew up with Feanor and Nerdanel and they don't believe in servants#and also spent a lot of time camping while he was growing up so Cara is used to roughing it he just Doesnt Like To#but here is his tiny mortal wife like Oh My Poor Spoiled Richling Of A Husband lets get u doing some Real Work#he doesn't correct her cause he thinks its funny when she does it in front of other Noldor#cause everyone knows the Feanorians are by all accounts the least spoiled and down to earth out of all the Finweans#Cause everyone knew what Crown Prince Feanor was like
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inseparable. a shadow and its source. life and death. as much as you want to tear away the thought of him, you can't. you stood by him, and his shadow lingers.
also here's this TERRIBLY shitty drawing I made inspired by @denimscotch saying Lysandre needs to "take a chill pill. make slime or something" and @rainbowpufflez encouraged me to actually post it.
#so i was like āoh maybe my pokemon-specifically prfr-brainrot is going away!!!ā#and then it didn't. and now we're here. yay. yahoo. yippee even.#yeah but im a big fan of being haunted by your ex (?) husband who--i mean it's really complicated. he ātechnicallyā died and all. but#people keep looking at you weird when you call him so husband so really what can you do /j#but unjokingly im a big fan of them being married prior to the events of XY because the betrayal is WOW. and also i think there's a lot of#guilt there anyways you know? even if they weren't involved at all that still sucked#but MARRIED? for TEN YEARS???? yeah. went from fighting over which color comforter to buy to āhey btw I'm killing everyoneā/j#i think its also really awful if Lysandre ends up being Not Dead and comes back and then. what's the legality of that?#are you still married or not???? whats the consensus of āuntil death do us partā if your husband comes back. is that parting???? like?????#augustine sycamore#professor sycamore#pokemon#pokemon xy#perfectworldshipping#pokemon lysandre#lysandre#professor augustine sycamore
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Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."
#my characters#ya know since i draw daily idk if ill do any challenges this month#i know theres a LOT of them out there but i might hold off and do huevember as a challenge and let this month just be chill#for what its worth he only asks for a female body because his baby brother (like 10 years younger than him)#commented ONE TIME ugh its so weird to have you dote on me like this#why couldnt you have been an older sister or look less suspicious#so when sent to help his brother hes like RIGHT GOT IT GIRL TIME LIKE THE MOST LOGIC COURSE OF ACTION#then does a really good job at helping the hero and then gets abducted by the demon army and#as rey keeps challenging the demons checking on him in the dungeon (who are all very kind?) to just interrogate him already#and they just ask why would they do that? they just wanted her outta the way for a bit#cause they dont actually want to hurt anyone and then the demon lord keeps personally visiting rey and continues#to point out how she gives him a headache and how the core is different than the shell#and so then he offers to revert rey back to his original form and reynold immediately accepts#and so now hes just a guy again surrounded by v nice demons#and hes like please just be mean ive been trained to handle violence you have to stop being nice#im not used to nice ok you have to be mean or else im going to develop stockholm syndrome#and the demons are just ?? we dont .... dont know.... what that is.......... what.....#then he gets engaged to the demon lord and all is well ! he becomes the trophy husband to the demon lord#and the world is saved (it was never at risk)#i have a lot of love for the idiots in this plot#because reynold and sascha are literal husbands thinking oh no my beloved husband is only married out of convenience to meeee#and solei is the goddess who recruited him and is so mad that reynold is more of a gremlin than sascha#like why is this mere mortal somehow worse than THE DEMON LORD how in the world#and reynold runs around just adopting all of the demon army and is like yeah#ill be the trophy husband with a hundred kids and a hot 7ft tall demon husband who can change into a huge dragon#and hes really content in this role!#but for a while he does appear as rey and hates how much of a highlighter he is
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Dining at the Ritz, we'll meet at nine precisely
I will pay the bill, you taste the wine
#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#anthony j crowley#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#gomens#umm idk how to tag this fandom . oh well#ANYWAYS YIPPEE. ITS THEM#tried a slightly different artstyle bc . bc look at aziraphale hes so silly i love drawing his eyes like that#also no shading bc i spent half an hour trying to get it right but the colors were off. oh well#my art#ikna draws
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met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.
#i tried so hard to be funny and nice but the way they replied to each thing i said made me feel like a scumbag LOL#ive never had that happen before. im very polite when i talk to strangers and i was being very polite then too!#i dont think they even saw it happening in realtime bc they were so calm and even keeled about it#but my god. still thinking about it. absolutely rattled me.#'ur so cool' 'oh its not the olympics. everyones cool. ur cool too' 'haha ur right yet ur still winning' 'hm. its not a competition.'#i was trying to make you laugh im sORRY i was being goofy when i said that i promise i did not say it straight#'you have so many cool tattoos' 'oh ive got a couple tattoo artist friends' 'oh thats so cool. maybe i could get a foot in the door'#like obviously as a joke but they replied gently 'you shouldnt seek friends out just to get something from them.'#NO I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY IT HAPPENS TO ME CONSTANTLY I KNOW TRUST ME#i panicked and was like 'oh haha no i wasnt serious dont worry. im an artist so i know the feeling.' but i guess it came across as like#yknow. bc they just went 'hm.' and pulled out their phone#FUMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so embarrassed#the worst part was id been talking to someone in the back who makes familiar plushies and shed set a few out#so i was talking to them while i was trying to pull up her insta to look up more info about one of the familiars#bc it looked SO FUCKING COOL and i stood there saying that to my husband right in front of them after this legendary fumble#finally pulled up the insta post for it and. they own that one. its theirs. they dressed it like that. i was so fucking embarrassed skdjfks#i wanted to look at the pricetag bc i assumed it was there bc she HADNT sold it yet#god. legendarily embarrassed.
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this is the face of a mouse who is begging for cheese from someone shorter than him (aka everyone)
STOP giving me those puppy eyes ANDREW JOHN HOZIER-BYRNE!!!??
(i love him so bad)
And here is the mouse being grateful after getting his cheese from someone shorter than him (aka everyone)
#tonee's asks#zipperrants#ZIPPER ILY YOU ARE KILLING ME WITH THAT PICTURE OH MY GOD#deadass when i first opened this ask i was in line at the bank and i had to physically stop myself from SQUEALING in public#LOOK AT HIM!!!!#FKJhsdFKJSHJ#i wanna kiss his stupid face so bad#*googles* how to become puppy#your honor i love him#i am down bad. HORRENDOUSLY.#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#looking exceptionally husband its absurd
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NEWSFLASH- He thinks youāre pretty~
#WAHHHH I made him so much softer then he usually is and IM LOVING IT#I added freckles cause my boy is a big chonky ginger#brb im bout to hold his face and give him forehead kisses like no other#IM TRYING TO HUSBAND THIS MAN UP#oh and he looks completely different then my other two artworks#i realize that and its okay my hands are stupid#i also drew those other illustrations like last year/early this year#SOOOOO its been awhile and Iāve grown and changed and now hes prettier#MIGHT ADD MORE TO THIS PIECE LATER#BUT HERES THE START OF BEAUTY RN#eustasscaptainkid#eustass kid#one piece#digital art#digital illustration#do tags even work??#IDK but imma use em
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3:28 am
Randomly getting into the game of Bad Parenting.
Uh-oh. It's already speaking to me and my life. Fucking hell
#time diary(?)#audrey/kellie's time diary#bad parenting game#bad parenting mr redface#bad parenting 1: mr. red face#bad parenting 2002#bad parenting#should've known since i saw a few posts on here talking about how it deals with abuse and such. but oh !!!! man!!!!!#that bitch. <- towards the father. at first i didn't like how he looked but its just how funny he looked#but once the mom said āmy shift ended lateā and then he said ābullshitā. ?? oh. fuck that.#yeah no. it triggered me. but maybe its because only recently I've been opening up about .... my āØloreāØ#which. has me talking about my biological 'father'#. and uh. what a turn of events! the father character is also bald my biological 'father' is bald too. fuck. my mom's husband is also bald#eh. mom's husband is better then both of them. continuing tho#uh. ron.... my poor son. you are just like me. not really. i dont defend my biological father like you did. even though you shouldn't#since. he was mr. redface; a killer as far as i can. tell from posts i have read
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gojo assistant to gojo househusband is EVERYTHING to me heād be so good at it. packing up bentos before work, visiting u for a lunch break, visiting u for a shoulder and neck massage. hes just so cute. i bet that even when he gets to a househusband role heād still do some assistant duties and he absolutely is against u getting another assistant bc heās been that guy and he knows u are too easily fallen in love with. heād probably only give up that role to someone that he trusts 100% and knows that wonāt fall in love with you like yuuta and even then he probs gets a tiny bit irrationally jealous when yuuta knows a lot about your schedule and habits bc thatās HIS job but a lil smooch from u will have him too flustered to even remember what initially ticked him off
when he finally makes it out of the work husband territory, heās already wildly insufferable as a boyfriend. but when he finally becomes your husband? all bets are offāif people thought satoru couldnāt be louder or prouder of you they were so, so very wrong. he was born for this.Ā
sends you off with a bento and a kiss every single morning, and then calls you right before lunch time to remind you to actually take your lunch break and eatāand maybe because he wants compliments on the food he made you. when he canāt send you off with lunch, he has yuuta deliver it for you, or he drops it off himself, which is always a welcome surprise, not just for you, but everybody in the office. itās nice that heās remembered so fondly, and some days he does miss it, but he wouldnāt trade in being your husband for the world.Ā
so true about yuuta being his replacementāsatoru was very, very thorough in the vetting process of hiring your new secretary. he knows how easy it is to fall in love you, he knows what itās like to be the work husband and he refuses to hire anybody else who might think even slightly like him. so, call it nepotism or call it favoritism, but yuuta is one of maybe three people satoru actually trusts with the job. turns out yuuta is best suited for it anyway, which brings satoru even more relief. on the days he really misses you, it makes him pout when you recount all the times yuuta saved your ass, but a kiss or two really is he needs to be brought back to reality.Ā
heās always calling or texting you with paint samples or fabric samples, and youāve learned to not try and make sense of satoruās interior design priorities. you really donāt think that the guest bathroom needs new wallpaper, but he does and if he wants to install it, who are you to stop him. so many days you come home from work and heās like, āoh, babe, my mom called in a friend of a friend and turns out her husband can make us our own version of that vintage couch you saw in the museum display last week,ā which is. absolutely insane because thatās easily a $25,000 couch, but he just waves you off about it and asks you what color you want it ināheāll handle everything else.Ā
#anonymous#oh work husband to househusband satoru my beloved....#give it a year or two of marriage and hes like soooooooo ive been thinking i do actually need someone to keep me company at home#and ur like satoru gojo what are u on about i will kill u right here with my own hands have toji hide the body#and have hiromi get me out of this scott free#and hes like whoah whoah whoah wait i meant a baby!!! AN INFANT!! NOT A MISTRESS oh god im gonna throw up that word alone made me sick babe#and so when u dont have a knife pointed at him ur like oh. wait... u want a baby??#and its then u realize that this isnt spontaneous for him u can see it in his eyes satoru has probably been thinking about this for years#and besides babymaking could be fun............#be prepared to look at about 238 types of wood for the crib tho#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x reader#lawyer au#satoru.ask
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also omg achhd is one of my fav games ever I just love decorating and world building games but also I adore the in game employees. i like the idea of having a good relationship with all of them i think ā¦..
#i think it would be funny if the first time we met everyoneās anxiety is spiked cause like .#mr nooks husband is coming ???? šØšØ WHAT DO WE DO ???????#and then a weird lil hippie guy walks in fawning over the decorations . and theyāre like āoh! how can we help you! ā#and Iām like hi! im here to see my husband! ^-^#and theyāre like oh. thats. thats mr nooks husband .#LIKE I THINK ITS BC IM SO CASUAL AND EARTHY LOOKING they just werenāt expecting that š#BUT I ALREADY ADORE ISABELLE (weāve met before !!!) and I think Iād absolutely adore Lottie when I first meet her .#also holds hand out I need to put yāall on the lo.ttiebelle propaganda I think theyāre the girlfriends ever#DIGBY AND LYLE ARE SO FUNNY TOO im sure Iāve met Lyle before bc he was in previous games#and digby works on mainstreet near the boys shop and the real estate office <3#txt#š°š¦š#platonic tag! š¼
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(SLAMS MY OCS DOWN)
I MISSED THEM SO MUCH YOU GUYS
Reynold, the ADHD human that he is, has a very hard time focusing on much of anything and the only way he can be considered "accomplished" in his former line of work (CIA) is because he knew. He knew he had to do the task as fast as possible before he forgot what he was doing.
Now he lives in another world and is basically the trophy husband to the demon lord and Reynold is like "this is amazing I'm adopting the whole entire demon army as our children". And the demon lord is like "you want to adopt my demon army" and Reynold is like "starting with your advisors, yes. those are our daughters now. I love them. I would literally kill for them."
And Sascha, the demon lord determined to NOT ACTUALLY FIGHT PEOPLE, is like please don't kill anyone. And his job is now "take care of the entire demon race and also act as impulse control to one human". Luckily his twin advisors love Reynold too and agree to help keep him in line in the world.
And since idk how much I posted on main and not my OC blog for the advisors, Melo (left) is mute and Lody (right) does the talking. They are able to share what they see with each other because of the pink/yellow eyes acting as like a gateway of sorts. So they're rarely assigned to survey the same area since if they're apart they can see twice as much and report on more in order to aid Sascha. (But at the castle they both like to stick together and trail either Sascha or Reynold)
#my characters#also since sascha is the demon lord he has the ability to turn into a biiiiiiiiiig dragon#its an ability only allowed to the blood line of demon lords and if the demon lord dies with no family#the ability manifests in a random demon and thats how the next lord is chosen#however ! since he found the twins on the verge of death and basically gave them both some of his essence/life#they are not actually related by blood but do carry some of his royalty#and can turn into big lizards and reynold loves this so much because oh my god thats so cute#they - as lizards - could crush his bones and kill him easily but hes like LETS GO TO THE GARDENS#AND SUNBATHE ON SOME ROCKS#and the twins are like .......................... odd priority but lets go#and so sascha will wander outside if he cant find the trio and yeah theyre normally just asleep on rocks#two big lizards and his husband just napping in the sun#after melo and lody are told to their faces by reynold hi you can call me mom if you want#they look confused but then later on lody is like HELLO MOTHER and sascha gets absolute whiplash when his husband beams#and turns to face his adopted children who just called him mother#like this poor demon lord is stunned enough by that but he was warned by reynold that adoption was non negotiable#so he is like understandably odd endearment moving on now#until he hears another of his soldiers talk about have you seen mom recently and is like#this human really is out here adopting the entire army and im really confused but its very cute and endearing
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Is that character gay? *points at Mine*
Allegedly.
#snap chats#depends on what day you check the wiki. schrodinger's homosexual#i couldnt FATHOM showing mine to my mom i know she'd be so annoying ššš#actually i cant even imagine what'd happen. 'is he gay' 'yeah' 'oh-' LIKE WHAT. WHAT NOW MOTHER WHAT HAVE YOU SAY TO THAT#like i think my mom asks that so much as a cope for my existence when i dont even like men mom As Per Usual mother you got it wrong#she's so weird because her. 'best work friend(? boss?)' is gay so she doesnt care about gay people she just doesnt like. me LMAO#but my moms selective hating aside i do wish i could show her characters i like#not because i want to bond with her but because it always seems funny when everyone else does it with their parents#but id just be too embarrassed ... or i can just imagine her saying like. every other chara is scary lookin. or ugly. liek my grandma did š#my sisters keep telling me to show her daigo since they think he looks like our dad and im always tempted to#god wait that just reminds me how when i did a daigo cosplay last year my dad saw me and he was like 'you're like a mini me :)'#like .... cmon dawg youre not helping LCKAEJLKCJAE love him. hope to see him again soon <- literally just saw him#wait while im rambling my dad came over and our 'uncle' (no actual relation just dad's friend) gave us. 12 fucking bottles of wine#when no one in this house drinks enough to warrant TWELVE BOTTLES ?? so funny. at least my sis and her husband drink#and i have one (1) friend who drinks LOL so thats cute. do i have any other unnecessary lore bits to drop before i disappear for a week#our ac broke and its been hot as balls. yeah thats it thats the end of it see you guys next week
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sometimes growing out your hair IS the answer
#my hair looks fucking fantastic rn i keep going to look at myself#ive gotten compliments all night from my husband and mil about how good it looks#its insane bc when i look in the mirror its like recognition right like oh thats ME which as a trans system has practically NEVER happened#i know i talk about it all the time but genuinely i just elkjfkdsj my health has improved so much and my body has healed so much#and my hair is so emblematic of that. nvm that i decided to stop cutting it on our wedding day so its like#MEANINGFUL on so many fronts. to me.#so important to me. augh#ive had to learn so much about hair maintenance too. i kept this shit so short id never done anything but shampoo it and towel dry#curly hair is like an entire circus and you are the lone ringleader
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leafpin "i get to the prompts when i can" week day 1: baking
#jankiey arts#YEAH UHHH!!!#they made husband and wife cakes pleaseeee look it up the concept of it is so cute#its also originates from Vietnamese culture iirc#i will never reach this level ever again#or recover in time fjkvajknfa#but oh my god its leafpin!!!!!!!!11#also i only do greyscale because i have an irrational fear of the color wheel (insert skull emoji)
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