#IM TRYING TO HUSBAND THIS MAN UP
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dilutedconfusion · 1 year ago
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NEWSFLASH- He thinks you’re pretty~
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dhmis-autism · 8 months ago
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been thinking about them lately ok
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mbat · 7 months ago
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this was an idea i had last year that i found in my files and decided to revive. woe, angst be upon ye
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haztory · 2 years ago
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sorry for being absent literally always, but i had to get this out of my drafts.
goddess!reader x mortal!bakugou; warnings: blood, mentions of sex, murder, unhappy relationships, unhinged reader and bakugou (tiny bit), not beta’d
(w.c. 2.1k)
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Rapacious, your father would call you were he to see you now. Salacious, acting in behavior once thought deterred; The kind that he meant to have stamped out of you in an effort to cultivate you into the pious cog in of his senseless grandeur. His promise of destiny. 
Your father’s lips would be turned in that virtuous frown, eyes narrowed as he sat from his throne in the great pantheon of Gods. Validated by their fealty. The model figure that is woefully negligent as he speaks of the sanctity of commandments that have seen his betrayal one too many times before. Sanctimonious in his rectitude, righteous in his hypocrisy, your father is.
He meant to cage you, raging at your freedom and its significance—angry that you were wild, changing the tides of human wars with the gentlest of smiles and lulling whispers; Rampaging that fellow Gods, his own brothers, were victim to the whims of your games with the mortals; Furious that the power you wielded began to rival that of his own; Murderous that you were too much like him: untamed, greedy, victorious and still, adored. 
You have never known his anger to be long-lasting, especially not in a manner of great meaning when you could falsely promise your way out of it. Batting eyelashes in truce—but, this is beyond punishment for the defiance of a rule. He means to break you. 
A husband. 
One bound to you without your consultation, much less knowledge. Promised in hand and divinity to be half of a whole to this pitiful excuse of God. 
There was hardly an expectation of satisfaction within the marriage on a good day, much less pleasure in the ways that physically mattered; Could such a thing ever truly be expected from a man who only knew how to hammer metal? Up, down, up, down until the glowing steel was forged.
Your husband is a man of great fortitude, who knows and will only know that of the fire he works with. The flames reflected in the dullness of his irises being the only exciting thing about him. He is monotonous within his construction. Routined and boring. 
How could there ever be the expectation of fidelity from you, the Goddess of Love? 
How could you be shackled to the bedside of a man who has never known the strength of the sea from which you are born? How can you love a man who does not know the impact of the tide and draws no desire from its power? How can you be with a man who does not know and adore you as you are? For a millenia, nonetheless! 
You've come to know of this arrangement as a curse; A woeful attempt to tame you from the wild and lustful by forcing you to make acquaintance with the bland and boring. Binding you to the shore, never to make acquaintance with the push and pull of the forceful nature. 
Credit must be paid your way. You had tried. In the depths of shame and sorrow, you tried to do as your brothers and sisters and settle. Gave in and let yourself  believe that love and happiness could be found within routine, eventually. It is your novelty, after all. And yet, it still finds you. This yearning for more, the urge to love and be loved. Your nature still rises from the swaying tide and dares to edge the coast. 
Your father would not approve were he to see you now, watching from your high plane in the heavens to the happenings of the mortal world. Surely, your husband would violently disapprove too, convinced that he has you loyal. 
You shouldn’t fixate; Had promised in low lights and empty words in your husband’s grimy embrace that you have seen the errors of your ways; That you have and will change. For his sake. But he does not know what happens when he is away in his cave of brimstone. 
Your attention is caught. And the object of your fascination is a marvel.
Sculpted from clay himself, you have half a mind to believe that one of your siblings has had a part in his creation. Broad and muscular, sharp and angular in all the places that deem him a man. This mortal has caught your eye since his ascension from boy to man. He is a village soldier. Fiercely protective and eager for a fight, and yet always looking to the heavens. As though there was something there waiting for him, beckoning him closer. You suppose he isn’t wrong, as you peer down to him just as he looks up. 
There have been whispers of his fate amongst the crowds since he was a boy, certainty issued in his great destiny.  No one is more sure of it than he. 
Which may be what finds him in your temple. 
Sanctuaries have never known themselves to be exclusive, but you must admit that it is certainly strange to have a man of his designation pray to the Goddess of Love. Surely he must have found some alignment more towards that of your stoic sister, emboldened by the desire for courage and brawn. And yet he is here, treading the halls in the stillness of night and giving small offerings to each of your priestesses and holding one large offering basket for your statue.
He stands beneath the colonnade, staring pensively at the intricate designs of your image on marble. He speaks only when the room has been cleared, the priestesses giving him the space to pray in solace.
“I hear you.” His timbre is gruff yet smooth. Commanding as it echoes. “You are calling to me.”
You remain still, almost taken aback at his forwardness. The waves of temptation creep at your feet. 
“I intend to find you, whether you show yourself or not.” He speaks again. He looks up, and although you know it improbable, you swear eyes of vermillion have pinpointed your location in the sky. And so, it comes crashing.
It has been so long since you have last appeared before a mortal, and appearing before him transcends all relatability. To see the fixation, your desire, and to have him see you. If he is surprised by your arrival, he doesn’t show it. Eyes strong in their stoic gaze, lips almost curled in a sneer. One would think you were his enemy, but you know such a charge to be false. It’s a charge of electricity, the cooling nighttime air suddenly warming at the meeting of your gaze. 
He is no enemy to you, and you are certainly no stranger to him.
“No one has ever commanded me so directly. How did you know?” You ask. of genuine curiosity.
“I dream of you.” He says the answer so plainly, as though it were a common occurrence. You can’t help but raise a brow. 
“Oh?” 
“I have for years. It was only a matter of time before you showed yourself.”
The chains forged by your husband suddenly feel the lightest that they have ever felt. Metal rattling against each other, pushing and pulling as something brews within you. You wonder what this mortal thinks of you. If he finds you as beautiful as you find him; If the power within him is as strong as you think it is. 
If he is strong enough to cut through steel.
“And what did you dream of?” You ask, taking a step forward. Feeling elation fill you like the swirling breeze as his eyes quickly watch you step forward.
“Tch. Like you don’t know.” His jaw flexes and with it comes the bloom of a subtle blush on his cheeks. “Didn’t you plant the damn things?” 
No, you didn’t. You could certainly look to see what it is he dreamed of, but this is more fun. Finally, finally, you feel the remnants of yourself pulse alive. 
“Have you come to give me a greater purpose?” He asks quickly, in diversion. You let him, too satisfied with the newfound freedom to care much about his attempt at modesty. 
You step closer to him, watching as his eyes cascade down the sheer chiton adorning your body. “Is that what I did in your dreams? Fill you with purpose?”
You find yourself almost chest to chest with him, his eyes never leaving yours, “Or did you fill me?”
You laugh when his eyes widen, turning to take a chocolate from the offering basket held still in his hands and plopping it into your mouth. Marveling at its taste, deciding that it must be homemade.  “Is that what you are in search for? A greater purpose? How about a culinary artist? Your skills are impeccable.”
He doesn’t laugh. “I am destined for more.” 
He knows he is. You know he is. Have not eyed him for so long to have not known. He stands firm before you, a soldier waiting for instruction. In any other instance you would rebuke such a stand, revolt at the rigid and serious, and yet with him—
Well, in devotion to you, who can fault you for testing its limits? Especially when there is something that has sat within you, waiting for the opportune moment. 
You meet his gaze, deciding to no longer tease. “How much more?”
“Anything you will give me.” He quickly responds. 
“And this destiny you seek, do you do it for pride or service?”
“I am your loyal follower and patron, Goddess Divine. What I do is for you.”
“A man like you, patron to me. How lucky am I?” You smile, but it is quickly assumed by the sneaking tendrils of your dark desire. Your voice stills, “The task I have for you is very arduous. Unyielding, difficult, and not aimed for the weak. Destiny setting, to be sure.”
The man seems to preen at those words, a smile finally finding its way to his face. It curls, dangerously, hungrily. “Name it.”
“Once it is spoken, it cannot be undone.” You warn.
“The task is mine alone.” He insists.
You find yourself before him again, and he leans in to listen closely. You can sense the fight in him, smell his musk. The promised freedom teeters on the edge of your words. 
“...kill Hephaestus. Free me from the shackles of my constricting punishment.”
He doesn’t blink, doesn’t balk, doesn’t shy away from the treasonous words. He does as you have seen him do and stands firm, almost vibrates with his desire to act. 
You can almost feel the brush of the sea on your skin again. 
“And my reward?” He asks, confidently.
“Is my eternal patronage and favor not enough?” You laugh, eased in his presence rather than tight at the admittance of your evil. Circling around him, you drag your finger across the broadness of his bare and unmarred shoulders. You wonder if the purity of his skin is a reflection of his valiance. Wonder if your desires are steered correctly, that he is the one to have the strength to carry him to victory. 
He glances to you over his shoulder, “Surely, the Goddess has more in plan for the man set to kill her husband than bragging rights?”
Curiosity clouded with the tendrils of lust at the man who holds your fate in his hands, you place your chin on his shoulder, meeting his vermillion gaze as your nose scarcely brushes the smooth expanse of his sculptured chin. Intimacy with a man who isn’t your husband, intimacy that is natural and wanted rather than forced.
“Cheeky.” You murmur, and his grin widens. A veil of clouded air blurs his vision before you reappear in front of him, your weight placed onto him as you wrap your arms around his neck. 
“Bring me the head of my oppressor,” You begin, said so airily it could be mistaken as a light conversation rather than a plot for murder, “And I will make you a God in his place. Meant to enact your own destiny, made to rule beside me.”
You lean your forehead closer, meeting him as your noses brush in meeting. Tracing one another, you whisper, “Can you do it?”
Without hesitation, he breathes into you. “I am yours, Goddess Divine.”
“And your name, O Great Warrior?”
“Bakugou.” A storm brews mightily in his irises and you can taste the salt of the spray, feel the ocean beckoning you home. 
Your release from the cage is so close to the touch, the hilt of the sword dealing the victory blow to your freedom held by him. 
You smile, wide, and true, and lustful for blood. “A fitting name for a God.” 
It comes as no great surprise when the mortal appears at your temple a few weeks later. He is limping through marbled halls and dripping with blood, the key to your cage held in his hands. Your husband's severed head held by his bloodied and mangled fingers, a wicked smile on his face as he beckons you down from the heavens. You find yourself once again, marveling.
And finally, in love.
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SiirrrrRE
MILES AXELROD GET THE FFFUCK
OUT OF MY WORKPLACE GARAGAGE MOTHERFUCKGIJTBT GOD DAMMITTT!!!!!! AWEERRHAAAAAAAAAAHAHGYG
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All it cost me was my glasses and the massive grime and grease stain across my forehead now. I swear I'm not beyond-fucked insane when I say that the damn oil smelt like brown sugar what was that. Think that was the messiest I ever got fixing a car cause magically I did not care about anything anymore.
I uh. Hit the tag limit but I'm sure this will still pop up if I search his name in my blog search feature.
#you canyou can see int he photo the stearing is on the right. it has clutch and wverything.#same model same make same year fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck#i have seen. ONE other land rover here. but it was white. this one is. g.greeb.#was trying not to be a freak and take five hundred pictures of this random guys car but.#what are the fucking odds. like seriously. again it was like. fully british imported here to the US. right hand driving and everything.#i .oi got to work on it. I saw it in the parking lot and blitzed for the fucking work orderss once i finished mine.#It came in for an oil change heuauaihehaiahahhahahahahahahausgahaha#i mean it wssnt an oil LEAK just a typical oil change but. fuck.#so british so so british the. the caps on the air valves on the wheel were little UK flags.ni.#i wanted to pull it into the bay but i was like. no. nay. i dont want to fuck up this guys car. only manual I've ever driven was a tracktor.#and that was like. ages ago.#I dont know. im sure there's a rent a car service in England.#Same model make same. everything. four doors. stupif. back area that sorta has seats but sorta not. fuck.#what are the odds. here. british car. in this specific shop. and. green. and same evetything and.#i accidentally locked the stearing wheel trying to start it so that was fun but we good we good.#me. me got to work on it. i honeslty have a conxerning amount i could go on about all of this.#Fucking. deppression gone. obliterated. non-existant. i dont gaf about anything possiblh upsetting anymore.#everytihng is sunshine right now and rainbows and flowers and sparkles.#and no other work orders came in while i was working on it thank goodness so i could dwaddle a little bit. oooohohhhhh#surprise husband jumpscare or some shite what the ever loving fucking hell.#tried not to be a freak about the entire thing but videos and games never did being in it justice of course.#proper. persectiv of not being through a camera lense and.#everything is good my heart is full i sorta could cry right now if something pushed me over the edge but good tears.#im so just. i have so mang feelings for him that it is like. an overwhelming amount. love him so much it is spilling out of my heart.#i dont know. universe came by to say hello. hi.#this is insane everyone is insane everyone is just nuts. everything is good so good right now.#stress has practically melted away everything is good. peaceful. okay. and it's not even my Friday.#My friday is tomotrow but man. ooohhhhh i needed this.#“Axlerod could fix me” not what i MEANT but oksy that too thst also works go for it.#sorry not to go over it again but i cant stress it wnough just. what are the odds. seriously.
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sonknuxadow · 5 months ago
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thinking about the part in the most recent twitter takeover where sonic calls commander tower who very awkwardly invites shadow over to dinner to meet his grandchild . did they think nobody would notice that they already did that in shadow 05 or is the implication here that shadow never went to that first dinner so the commander just keeps inviting shadow to his house over and over until he finally shows up
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trentcrimminallybeautiful · 6 months ago
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i think about the whole "love that" exchange a lot.
#i think i already have a post about this somewhere im just. rotating it#they realize they just kinda revealed a bit too much in front of Trent Crimm (Formerly) The Independent#and he does the whole biting wind-up to a question you know is going to be sharp as hell. bringing in that heat#and rebecca just. doesn't even try to get out of it#is she taking a leap of faith? is she just tired of spinning a whole yarn? testing him? giving him a chance?#and his response is just. simple. a real smile--almost conspiratorial and they're both in on the joke--and 'love that.'#sincere and almost warm. love that. bc that's what he actually thinks. not asking what he thinks he should#what he thinks the crowd wants to hear. but just. god her ex husband is a dickhead. absolutely you should try to fuck him over. love that#and rebecca all but beaming at him in response#i wish we'd gotten more of their dynamic tbh. i think that interaction probably helped soothe any anxieties she had about the whole thing#i think the next time we really see them interact is just the girl talk thing#where she's gleefully including him on the gossip and he's SO fucking pleased to get a good grade in girl talk something both normal to w#but like them developing an almost easy banter Fast. please. and like. him letting himself be. himself. in front of other people#not just ted. and rebecca GETS that if anyone gets getting flayed by the lasso effect it's her#so like. IDK MAN I JUST THINK THEY SHOULD BOND#also keeley. DEFINITELY keeley. all three of them. FUCK#trent crimm#rebecca welton#gertspeak#god. him being so pleased about the girl talk comment too. lives in my brain rent free#rebecca or keeley pays him a genuine but offhand compliment and he (and clearly completely unconsciously) just#fully does a pleased little wiggle in his seat. and they're like hmmmm
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jadelemonadee · 8 months ago
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do you ever have people online that just. frustrate you for no reason😭😭like this person didn’t do anything to me personally but whenever i see their comments or anything im just like oh it’s YOU again 😒😒😒
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p00pdev1l · 2 months ago
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What the fuck jazz WHAT THE FUCK
EVERYONE BE QUIET MY SHOW IS ON!!!!!!!
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overlyobsessedoddity · 1 year ago
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Recently watched Brokeback Mountain 🏔️ and I just had a wackass dream where Alma sees her husband kissing Jack and is just super into it
She then spends the rest of the movie trying to have a threesome without scaring her husband off/letting him know she knows and that accidentally turns into a poly relationship???
I’ve been searching desperately for an hour to see if anyone else sees my vision but the answer appears to be no😭
ITS TIME FOR ME TO BE THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
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senseiwu · 1 year ago
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The REAL "theydeservedbetter"shipping
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andromedasummer · 7 months ago
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fun fact once youve worked at a daycare/preschool the instincts it gives you never leave. i hear a baby crying and my brain muscle memories me into standing up until i can stop and remind myself that most people understandably do not want a stranger to walk over and pick up and soothe their infant. not my job anymore.
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sirpeppersto · 11 months ago
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me every time i remember we're getting married
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ronithesnail · 1 year ago
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Girl help why is top/bottom discourse so big on twitter rn holy shit
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famewolf · 11 months ago
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my boss-friend at work was feeling down yesterday so I got him a smoothie since a little sweet drink always turns a bad day around
however that put me in the position to be given genuine gratitude and it is so difficult for me to not recoil from it. I want to do the nice things but gods forbid someone express happiness about it lmao
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curseofbreadbear · 2 years ago
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i love my freddy shoulder rider but man oh man i would KILL for a helpy shoulder rider
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