#oh harper you're really in it now
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booasaur · 2 years ago
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Gotham Knights - 1x09
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incorrectbatfam · 6 months ago
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What does Tim say when people ask about his spleen?
Damian: I am updating my blackmail records. Tell me what happened to your spleen in its full hilarity.
Tim: I donated it to a sickly orphan.
Damian: You win this round.
———————
Tim: I have to be careful, I lost my spleen.
Carrie: How?
Tim: Aliens.
———————
Tim: I'm zero percent spleen and fifty-nine percent pizza sauce.
Helena: Zero percent spleen?
Tim: Yep. On the bright side, they named a disease after me.
———————
Luke: I've designed nanotech vitals trackers to be implanted on our spleens.
Tim: Oh, no thanks. I don't have one.
Luke: You don't have a spleen?
Tim: It wasn't paying rent so I evicted it. Lazy freeloader.
———————
Barbara: Why does your chart say you're missing a spleen?
Tim: I made a deal with the devil but I had a discount code so instead of my soul I just needed to sell a non-essential organ.
———————
Steph: What happened to your spleen? Are you okay?
Tim: I'm fine. It's taking an extended gap year.
———————
Harper: So... can I ask about your spleen?
Tim: Yeah, don't worry. I was part of a failed science experiment.
Cullen: What'd they do?
Tim: They injected me with a serum that was supposed to make me indestructible. But instead all I got were a spleen removal and chronic insomnia. And a free T-shirt.
Cullen:
Harper:
Cullen: Was it a nice shirt?
———————
Dick: What do you mean you don't have a spleen?!?
Tim: It was confiscated by airport security.
———————
Tim: Happy Pride! My spleen finally came out of the closet. And by closet I mean my body.
Kate: Diversity win.
———————
Tim and Jason: *arguing*
Jason: At least I still have my spleen!
Tim: It's genetic!
Jason: Sucks to be you.
Tim: We have the same dad. It could happen to you too.
Jason, scoffing: Whatever.
Jason, internally: Oh shit, he's right. I need to see Leslie.
———————
Tim and Bette: *sparring*
Bette: *hits Tim*
Tim: Ow. Time out. That was my spleenhole.
Bette: ...How?
Tim: It took a trip to the Titanic in a soup can with a Playstation controller.
———————
Duke: Since when did you have that scar?
Tim: Since losing my spleen last year.
Duke: How do you lose a spleen?
Tim: You forget to cherish it.
———————
Cass: ?
Tim: I digested it.
———————
Selina: You know I have to tell Bruce about this.
Tim: Okay, fine.
Tim: I had to get it removed as a kid after falling into a well of bats.
———————
Bruce: Tell me what happened to your spleen so Alfred and Leslie can give you the proper treatment.
Tim: What do you mean?
Bruce: Everyone's been telling me you don't have it.
Tim: Well, I do, so...
Bruce: Alright, I'll have a talk with them about bad taste pranks.
———————
Alfred: You can't keep the truth from me, Master Tim.
Tim: Assassins stole it.
Alfred: I wasn't born yesterday. Now what really happened?
Tim: ...
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reiderwriter · 8 months ago
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Isn't She Pretty, Daddy?
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Teacher f!Reader
Summary: You're a little bit worried about one of your brightest students recently, so you call her Dad to come in for a meeting. Her absolutely adorable - and single - Dad.
Warnings: the birds and the bees as explained by a kindergardener. Some angst about being a single parent.
A/N: Here's another entry for @imagining-in-the-margins Kid Fic Challenge! Dad Spencer has my heart, and I've been in a really fluff forward mood this weekend, evidently! I think I have one more Kid Fic left to go before the end of the challenge, but we'll see what the will of the fanfiction gods is...
Masterlist
If you were to be asked what the hardest part of being a teacher was, you would, without question or even a second to think, have an answer. Parents. The worst part of teaching is talking to parents. 
Little kids were easy to talk to. They asked questions if they didn't understand things clearly, and they didn't typically say things they didn't mean. Adults were the opposite, and it just so happened that all of your kids' parents were adults. 
Including your most recent problem  child. 
You were used to the kids in your class having some behavior issues - for one, they were kids, it was to be expected that their little bodies couldn't quite handle all of the emotions they were feeling at once. But you were doubly struck by your school area being close to Quantico, meaning half the kids in your care had families with law enforcement backgrounds. 
Absent parents plus growing bodies plus normal kid stress equalled attachment issues, and your problem child Harper Reid was one of your more worrying cases. 
You really hoped everything was okay in the Reid household, so you'd called the little girls parents. She was lovely - honest to god - one of the sweetest little kids you'd ever met. 
Every day she came to school with some older kids and their mom, carpooling on the way in, so you had yet to meet her parents, but you thought that anyone who could produce something that sweet and cute and brilliant couldn't possibly be a bad person. 
You didn't know what to expect, so when her little pigtails peaked around the corner and she came running in, you were momentarily filled with anxiety. 
“MOMMY!” The little girl yelled, launching herself into your arms as soon as she spotted you behind your desk. 
“Hi, Harper! Hi, you must be, Mr. Reid-”
“Doctor, actually, um, but that doesn't really matter. I'm so sorry about this, Harper doesn't usually tackle people.” 
The 3ft tall ball of energy had managed to crawl into your lap and wrap her arms around your neck, so you had to pick her up when you stood to greet her dad. 
“Will your wife be joining us for the meeting today?” You asked, already used to Harper's hugs and general closeness. 
“Oh, no. No, she's not coming. She, uh, doesn't exist. Single father.” 
“Oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume, it's just not on my files-” 
“It's okay, it's a …bit complicated.” 
You took your seat at the desk and gestured to the man to do the same. Finally, looking at him for the first time now that some of your anxiety had died down, you couldn't help but think that Doctor Reid was incredibly attractive. It wasn't one part of his face that stuck out to you as being particularly pretty, just the entire ensemble of it together that took your breath away. Either that of Harper was gripping you so tight she was restricting your ability to breathe, and considering a five year old is not a boa constrictor, this was all dad's fault. 
“So, you said on the phone Harper's been having some problems at school?” 
You snapped your attention back to the issue at hand, searching for the relevant files and pictures you wanted to show the man. Harper turned herself around in your lap and looped her arms around your arm, pulling it in close to use as a pillow. 
“Isn't Miss Y/N so pretty, Daddy?” You froze and flushed in an instant, suddenly so aware of the man's eyes on you. You weren't sure if you were thankful or even more embarrassed that Harper's dad seemed to be even more flushed than you. 
“Daddy? Isn't she pretty?” Harper insisted, and you realized that you both weren't going to get out of this without him answering. 
“Yes, angel. Miss Y/N is very pretty.” The little girl smiled in triumph and nuzzled into your arm even more, happily curled up into your lap like a cat. 
“Hey, Harper. We got a new puzzle delivered yesterday. It's got My Melody and Cinnamaroll on it. They're your favorites, right?” 
The little girl nodded in glee, eyes shining as she hung on your every word. 
“How about you go over to the play area and get it started, and then me and your daddy will come over and help you finish it?” 
In a flash, she'd hopped up out of your lap and wriggled away, shouting a quick “You promised, right?” behind her as she went. 
“I'm so sorry about that, I don't know what's gotten into her, she's usually very shy and-”
“Doctor Reid, it's fine. That's just why I called you in today. Teachers and parents are a team, right, we work together to make sure the kids grow up well, you don't need to apologize to me for that.” 
The man seemed to take a deep breath and nod, to regain his wits about him for a second. 
“Is she… this attached in her regular classes?” 
“Well honestly, she was a bit like that at the beginning of the semester, but she grew out of it after a while. In the last week or so, she fell back into it, and now she's calling me ‘Mommy,’ too. I was wondering if anything happened recently at home that could've led her in this direction, or…”
The man looked a little bashful, but there was a twinge of sadness in his expression that you recognised all too well. 
“Harper, uh, doesn't have a Mom. I adopted her, and it's a long story, but... She's been asking me to get her one recently, because she doesn't really understand all that well? I'm sorry, I didn't know she'd do something like this. I should've done a better job at home-” 
“Doctor Reid, raising a child is hard. It's so hard that humans usually do it in communities, or at least in couples. You're doing it alone, and Harper is already one of the smartest and most empathetic little girls I know. You're doing your job as Dad just fine.” 
The man smiled at you and looked down, quickly wiping away a tear as you gave him a moment of privacy. 
“So. If nothing at home set Harper off, we should probably go and ask her why she's calling me mommy, right?” 
You stood, and he stood with you, leaving his satchel next to his chair and unbuttoning his jacket. 
“Great. Sure, let's go see.”
Walking to the back of the room, you both smiled quietly, looking at the small girl. The 100 piece puzzle you'd guided her to was neatly arranged on the desk, pieces split into edges and centre pieces as she slowly looked at each one with a quietly focused face. Each time she found the piece she was looking for, her smile was bright as she connected it to the small part she was working on. 
“Mommy! Daddy! I can't find the melody's face, can you help me?” 
“Sure, Harper, we'll help you.” You moved to sit beside her at the tiny desks, giggling when the older Reid on Harper's other side struggled to fit himself in the toddler sized chairs. 
Harper assigned you roles, and you all started quietly doing your jobs, waiting for Harper to focus again so you could ask her questions without agitating her. 
“Harper, can you tell your Daddy why you call me Mommy?” 
“Sure! You're Mommy because I want you to marry with Daddy.” 
If you weren't already still flushed from her earlier comments, you certainly were lightheaded with embarrassment now. 
“Harper, that's not how it works-” 
“Yes, it is, Daddy! Henry said so. He said his mommy and daddy were sad one day, but then they were together again and they had a big party called a wedding and now they're happy, and that's why we have Michael.” You didn't quite follow from all the names and the story events, but it was evident that Reid did, so you waited quietly for his explanation. 
“My friend. Her son was at her wedding a few years back. They have another son who is a couple years older than Harper, they come to school together?” 
Your mouth made a small ‘o’ as you slowly filled in the blanks. 
“Harper, you want daddy to have a wedding so he isn't sad anymore?” 
The little girl gave a big nod and a smile, like she was so happy that she was finally being understood. 
“Miss Y/N should marry daddy because he thinks she's pretty. Henry said that was important for a wedding, your mommy has to look beautiful.” You made eye contact with Doctor Reid awkwardly as she spoke, both of you looking away for fear of seeing the embarrassment on each others faces. 
“And Miss Y/N wants a baby. So I will be Miss Y/N's baby, so everyone can be happy!” Harper's kid logic was a little hard to find fault with, but you still had to push back a little. 
“Harper, why do you think I want a baby?” 
“Angie asked you, and you said," the girl pouted, almost frustrated woth habing to answer all these silly questions.
"She asked you why you don't have a baby, and you said that you can only have a baby if you're married and that you wanted to have a baby when you were married. So marry my dad, and I'll be your baby!” 
Harper's smile was so happy and content that you really didn't want to spoil her dream just yet. You continued putting the puzzle together for a few minutes in silence, the full picture nearly being complete now. Harper seemed to fidget a little in her seat next to you, pushing closer and closer to you before tugging on your sleeve. 
You leaned down and she whispered in your ear - though you didn't doubt that her dad heard every word. 
“If you really want, I'm sure we can get another baby like Henry got Michael. I'll ask my dad, but I think it's allowed.” 
The poor man on the other side of the desk had to cover his face with his hands to stop the blush from showing, devolving to just straight up resting his head on the desk when his daughter kept going. 
“A boy is okay, but my dad doesn't really know about boy stuff. Uncle Derek says that my daddy is just a pretty boy with a book brain. We should get another girl, so daddy can be not worry.” 
The more you listened to Harper's adorable family plan, the more you just wanted to squeeze her tight and say yes and give her everything she wanted. 
“Miss Y/N, once again, I'm so sorry for everything, I'll talk with Harper at home about this.” 
“It's okay, I actually find it all very sweet,” you laughed a little and smiled back at him. 
“No, I'm sure your boyfriend would be so uncomfortable if he knew that she was trying to marry you off-” 
“Doctor Reid, are you trying to ask me if I'm single?” 
The small grin that quirked his lips up was nothing if not unfair. He really was a very pretty boy. 
“It was that obvious?” 
“Yep.” You made sure the ‘p’ popped a lot as you both shared a small laugh. Harper looked up between you and smiled, too. 
“So, can you get married now? Henry said you can do it really quickly, like in Grandpa Rossi's garden, and then you can go and do the secret part at home while Auntie Penny looks after me.” 
“Secret part?” 
“To make the other baby, silly!” 
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whencartoonsruletheworld · 3 months ago
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Hey so like many of you, I saw that article about how people are going into college having read no classic books. And believe it or not, I've been pissed about this for years. Like the article revealed, a good chunk of American Schools don't require students to actually read books, rather they just give them an excerpt and tell them how to feel about it. Which is bullshit.
So like. As a positivity post, let's use this time to recommend actually good classic books that you've actually enjoyed reading! I know that Dracula Daily and Epic the Musical have wonderfully tricked y'all into reading Dracula and The Odyssey, and I've seen a resurgence of Picture of Dorian Gray readership out of spite for N-tflix, so let's keep the ball rolling!
My absolute favorite books of all time are The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. Classic psychological horror books about unhinged women.
I adore The Bad Seed by William March. It's widely considered to be the first "creepy child" book in American literature, so reading it now you're like "wow that's kinda cliche- oh my god this is what started it. This was ground zero."
I remember the feelings of validation I got when people realized Dracula wasn't actually a love story. For further feelings of validation, please read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. There's a lot the more popular adaptations missed out on.
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier is an absolute gem of a book. It's a slow-build psychological study so it may not be for everyone, but damn do the plot twists hit. It's a really good book to go into blind, but I will say that its handling of abuse victims is actually insanely good for the time period it was written in.
Moving on from horror, you know people who say "I loved this book so much I couldn't put it down"? That was me as a kid reading A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Picked it up while bored at the library and was glued to it until I finished it.
Peter Pan and Wendy by JM Barrie was also a childhood favorite of mine. Next time someone bitches about Woke Casting, tell them that the original 1911 Peter Pan novel had canon nonbinary fairies.
Watership Down by Richard Adams is my sister Cori's favorite book period. If you were a Warrior Cats, Guardians of Ga'Hoole or Wings of Fire kid, you owe a metric fuckton to Watership Down and its "little animals on a big adventure" setup.
A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry was a play and not a book first, but damn if it isn't a good fucking read. It was also named after a Langston Hughes poem, who's also an absolutely incredible author.
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is a book I absolutely adore and will defend until the day I die. It's so friggin good, y'all, I love it more than anything. You like people breaking out of fascist brainwashing? You like reading and value knowledge? You wanna see a guy basically predict the future of television back in 1953? Read Fahrenheit.
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee are considered required reading for a reason: they're both really good books about young white children unlearning the racial biases of their time. Huck Finn specifically has the main character being told that he will go to hell if he frees a slave, and deciding eternal damnation would be worth it.
As a sidenote, another Mark Twain book I was obsessed with as a kid was A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Exactly what it says on the tin, incredibly insane read.
If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin is a heartbreaking but powerful book and a look at the racism of the time while still centering the love the two black protagonists feel for each other. Giovanni's Room by the same author is one that focuses on a MLM man struggling with his sexuality, and it's really important to see from the perspective of a queer man living in the 50s– as well as Baldwin's autobiographical novel, Go Tell it on the Mountain.
Agatha Christie mysteries are all still absolutely iconic, but Murder on the Orient Express is such a good read whether or not you know the end twist.
Maybe-controversial-maybe-not take: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a good book if you have reading comprehension. No, you're not supposed to like the main character. He pretty much spells that out for you at the end ffs.
Animal Farm by George Orwell was another favorite of mine; it was written as an obvious metaphor for the rise of fascism in Russia at the time and boy does it hit even now.
And finally, please read Shakespeare plays. As soon as you get used to their way of talking, they're not as hard to understand as people will lead you to believe. My absolute favorite is Twelfth Night- crossdressing, bisexual love triangles, yellow stockings... it's all a joy.
and those are just the ones i thought of off the top of my head! What're your guys' favorite classic books? Let's make everyone a reading list!
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bats-and-the-birds · 5 months ago
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I made a post involving young/feral/perceived cryptid Dick Grayson and someone tagged something about Barry Allen losing his mind when this terrifying child befriends his nephew and I have NOT stopped thinking about this since.
Because like, imagine you're Barry Allen. You've been doing this hero thing for a while, and you've seen a lot of things, but now your nephew has gotten himself wrapped up in this too, and goddamnit, you're worried because you know this life isn't easy.
Then he makes a friend - Ollie's boy, Roy Harper - and you breathe a little bit easier, because you know that however rough this life is, it's worse without friends. Besides, it's sweet. They're young boys, and they roughhouse, and tell stupid jokes, and play video games together sometimes. It's nice to see Wally just be a kid with someone that he doesn't have to hide from. And, yeah, sure, they get into trouble sometimes, pull pranks that go too far, get themselves in danger because they think they can take on something they can't, but it's still a net positive, because you need friends in this line of work, and that's exactly what they've found.
And you think about Robin. Not often, but you do think about him. Because you know nothing about him, and you don't want to, but he still has the face of a boy that's younger than your nephew. You wonder if he has friends.
But really, you don't think about him that much. You don't want to. He's freaky, and generally, thinking too hard about anything to do with the Bat is inadvisable.
Then there's a fight. A big one. You don't even really know who's fighting on your side until everything has cleared. It was basically the entire Justice League, no one dead, but a few injuried. And your nephew's there too. And Roy. And Robin.
No one really goes near Robin, ever. It was an unspoken rule, of sorts, and you're pretty sure it's just because everyone's scared of messing with Batman's little bird, though whether that was due to fear of Batman or the bird himself, you're not sure.
But Wally doesn't seem to know this. Wally doesn't seem to care. He runs up to Robin with a big grin on his face and grabs his hand, trying to tug him over to where Roy was patching up some injuries.
You notice that Robin doesn't go with him immediately. In fact, he looks confused. But if you know anything about your nephew, he's persistent, and eventually Robin lets himself be dragged over. Roy seems unconcerned, but you can tell that the other adults in the vicinity shift uncomfortably, unsure of what they should do, or if they should do anything at all.
It doesn't last long anyway. Batman calls for Robin and he bounds off, but you notice he stops and hesitantly waves a gloved hand at your nephew before he leaves. Wally waves back.
You don't think much of it.
Then, the next time you and Ollie catch Wally and Roy fighting something they shouldn't be, Robin's right there with them. It's the first time you've seen Robin without Batman in close proximity, and you think he looks just a little bit more human. He smiles sheepishly with the other boys when they're chastised for fighting things that they shouldn't, and you watch Roy ruffle his hair like there's nothing to be worried about. You're still worried.
You still don't think much of it though. Even when Robin's there with the two of them the next time, and the time after that.
But then, oh dear god, he's in your house. You don't actually notice him at first, for two whole hours, because it's normal to see Wally and Roy sitting on the couch and playing video games. You just don't realize that there's a third head in between them until you sit down in an adjacent armchair to see what they're playing, because Robin is just short enough that his head doesn't peak over the back of the couch.
You have to blink a few times to make sure what you're seeing is real, because nestled in between the two slightly older heroes in their civilian attire is Robin, sans his gloves, cape, and boots, but otherwise still in full uniform with his mask still firmly in place, holding a video game controller and laughing while Wally elbows his side to try to make him lose.
And you just sit back in your chair and stare, because what the hell are you even supposed to do in this situation? Your nephew has decided to make friends with Batman's goddamn son - the boy that you've seen sneak up on League members with super hearing, break a grown man's femur, and somehow fade into shadows in a bright yellow cape - and it worked. And now he's playing video games on your couch. And you don't know what to do about that.
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letmerideitchris · 21 days ago
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𝒯𝒽ℯ ℛℴℴ𝓉𝓈 ℴ𝒻 𝒪𝓊𝓇 ℒℴ𝓋ℯ ⚘
part 2
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“Oh my god it’s matt” 
“he's so hot” 
“Can you believe he's single?”
Matt Sturniolo is the most popular and hottest guy in school and practically has girls falling at his feet. He is your typical popular guy, plays lacrosse, has lots of friends and looks really good. 
y/n is the complete opposite, although she is pretty and hardworking, no one seems to pay attention to her at all. She always shows up to school half an hour early, eats her lunch in the classroom and finishes all her assignments the quickest, she enjoys her solitude. Although from the outside Matt and y/n are different, at heart they are quite similar. Matt does enjoy his own time away from all the noise at school and he does do quite well academically. Although recently he’s been swapping his tests with his not so smart triplet brother; Chris, so he doesn’t seem like a nerd, but no one needs to know that. 
It all started at 8:am at Boston high school “yo Matt what’s good” his friends say as he daps up all the boys up whilst entering the school. y/n was already in their classroom with her nose in her new book from her local library. She gets distracted by the sound of everyone greeting Matt and gets up to look out the glass window of the classroom door. There he is, Matt Sturniolo, the only man you've ever had your eyes on since freshman year. You’re watching him approach his locker, looking at him laughing with several of his friends, but the only one you’re looking at is Matt. You’re about to turn back to your book but you see out the corner of your eye him glance into the classroom you quickly try and play off the fact that you were staring at him by adjusting your glasses on the bridge of your nose and you awkwardly sit back down. 
The bell sounds in the hallways, and everyone walks to their respective classrooms including Matt, which just so happens to be her classroom for history. She quickly fixes her hair and continues to read her book as if she wasn’t watching him walk towards the classroom. The sound of the door opening distracts her from the words in her book as she sees Matt walk in the room in the corner of her eye. It's just you and Matt in the classroom now and you can see him walking towards you. “Is that to kill a mockingbird by harper lee?” Matt says as he breaks the comfortable silence. Your heart is racing and suddenly you feel your palms start to sweat, you clear your throat “uh yeah it is... have you read it before?” 
“well not exactly...” he laughs “I just looked at the front cover when you were reading it...” Matt slightly lowers his head and smiles whilst approaching the desk next to her. “oh haha.. You really should read it, it's quite interesting....” your voice fades out quietly realizing you're talking to Matt Sturniolo, not someone in your book club. 
“I'm not really the reading type of guy, and plus, i uh don’t have a library membership…” Matt says sliding his bag off his shoulder and throws under his desk “oh yeah, right” you say whilst placing the bookmark onto your page. 
“you’re all dismissed, and don’t forget your paragraph on British Settlement is due in tomorrow's lesson.” Matt gets up from his seat and packs up his books. Whilst you're still seated, working up the confidence to say something to him. He pushes in his chair and starts to walk off. 
“Hey,Matt” he turns back around briefly smiling, “you can always uhm... borrow my book, I don't think you’re going to be getting a library membership any time soon” you say with a shy smirk.  He scoffs “you know what, I might just do that, because uhm... My mom has been trying to get me to read a book for a while now” He lies through his teeth “thanks uhh, y/n, right?”. You can feel your cheeks burning up at your name coming out of his mouth, sounding as smooth as honey. “yeah..” you both stop to look at each other, you break the silence “uh yeah heres the book, don't rush to get it back to me... Theres plenty more copies at the library.” you say handing him your book. “Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow y/n”. 
After school, you’re texting your best friend Taylor nonstop about everything that happened in history today whilst she was at home sick;  
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credits to @bernardsbendystraws for the dividers!
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kudossi · 1 year ago
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Tigerclaw and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Senior Warrior Position AU
In a world where deputies can only be named after their first apprentice has been granted their warrior name, Tigerclaw struggles to keep an apprentice alive long enough to earn their name.
or, a comedy-tragedy AU in which having an apprentice isn't enough — you have to see them to their warrior name, and Tigerclaw cannot fucking get any of his goddamn apprentices to live, damn it.
It starts out mostly normally, except for the fact that Tigerclaw hasn't gotten any apprentices to their warrior name, and he needs that so he can accomplish his (very noble, of course) kitty genocide goals. And also be the supreme leader of the world or something. Darkpaw died stupidly, he hasn't had a chance since, and now he's got some tiny thing that's afraid of his own shadow.
Well. It'll have to do.
So naturally this man is so protective over Ravenpaw that Ravenpaw barely even leaves his sight. Firepaw and Graypaw think that this is adorable. Look how much Tigerclaw cares about his apprentice!!
Ravenpaw, of course, is fucking terrified and also slowly losing his mind, just in a different way.
"Redtail assigned us to go on a patrol to Snakerocks." "OH NO HE DID NOT. WE'RE STAYING IN THE SANDY HOLLOW WHERE IT'S SAFE."
"Nothing matters more to me than making you a warrior, Ravenpaw. Nothing." And the terrible thing is that Ravenpaw is sure he's being sincere.
Ravenpaw disappears and Tigerclaw nearly fucking has a conniption because the timing was all RIGHT and he was going to finally get the position AND HE NEVER GOT HIS DAMN NAME FUCK.
"Do you think I could convince the elders that Fireheart was my apprentice?" "Fireheart was Bluestar's apprentice, as approved by StarClan. You're going to have to wait for the next litter to be apprenticed."
So he begs and begs and gets Cinderpaw and then she accidentally falls into the trap he'd set for a better deputy candidate at the Thunderpath. Fuck.
Well. Time to resort to drastic measures.
"I was thinking that Darkstripe would have been a good name. Because he had dark stripes." "Again, Tigerclaw, it's admirable that you loved your apprentice so much, but I cannot grant him a name." "Are you sure?" "Honestly, Tigerclaw, I'm not sure he ever would have gotten a name. Missing quite a few feathers from his nest, that one..." Fuck. The worst part was that she wasn't even wrong.
— Swiftpaw and Brightpaw get mauled by the dogs he set up to happen like right after he got the title and they sprang it before and he's like FUCK NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE DAMN DOGS? His world domination plans literally never come to fruition because he cannot keep his apprentices alive/in the clan/his own.
— "Brightheart counts. She HAS to count." "Actually, Cloudtail took over her training…" [demented noises]
Turns out that Ravenpaw is alive and no one — no one — in the Harper Collins Extended Universe is happier than Tigerclaw.
"You're alive! …You deserve your warrior name!" "Actually, I've come to peace with my name and my way of life. I have no need for a—" "GET YOUR FUCKING NAME RIGHT NOW RAVENPAW OR SO HELP ME STARCLAN—" "I know you really wanted Ravenpaw to become a warrior," Barley says gently, "but he's made his decision. It's very kind of you to acknowledge that he deserves it, though. You must have been so close as mentor and apprentice." Tigerclaw's eye twitches. "Yes. Close. Very... close." —
He finally, finally retires as an elder after his plans go absolutely nowhere for years on end. And maybe StarClan is still like "Brambleclaw would be chill actually, we can forget that pesky little law" and Tigerclaw is sitting there like "excuse me what the actual fuck?" —
But at this point Tigerclaw is about as dangerous as Ashfur without a freak forest fire. Which is to say about as dangerous as using a leaf as a weapon. Which is, incidentally, how Darkpaw managed to get himself killed in the first place.
"Is this the Dark Forest? This has to be the Dark Forest. It doesn't look like Thistleclaw described it, but it must be. This Clan is all an elaborate punishment meted down by StarClan for my sins." "Tigerclaw, sir, I'm just here to help you with your ticks. See? I have the mousebile right here." "…Yes, thank you, Alderpaw." — Graystripe joins him in the elder's den and he's like, "You know, Ravenpaw thought you were up to some… scheme, back in the day. Crazy, right? You've been a model Clanmate as long as I've been alive." [muffled screaming] "Huh, what do you think that is? It sounds almost like someone killed a rabbit, but they know not to come this close to camp…"
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woso-dreamzzz · 10 months ago
Text
Sound
Steph Catley x Baby!Reader
Summary: Steph talks with Macca
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The rest of the Tillies crowd around you when Steph settles in a seat.
She'd left training early last night to pick you up and sign the paperwork and had slept in. She was lucky Tony was so accommodating. This was a big moment and she's glad that she's got you now.
The idea of adopting hadn't been on Steph's mind at all until she'd finished a game and looked up to see a little girl holding a sign that said 'This is my adoption day present'.
There was something about it that got Steph thinking. It hadn't crossed her mind once and then all of a sudden it was all she could think about. The process was long and she was constantly flying back and forth from England to Australia to sort everything out.
"How old is she?" Mini asks.
"Six months," Steph replies, smiling down at you.
"You're going to be a great mum, Steph. If you need any help just call. I'd be happy to babysit for a bit."
"I can't ask you to do that. Really, it's-"
"Trust me," Mini laughs, patting her on the shoulder," Give it a few weeks and you'll see why I offered." Her eyes are drawn behind Steph's shoulder. "Kyra! Charli! Stop teaching Harper bad habits!"
More of her teammates come up to fawn over you but Steph's waiting in anticipation for one in particular.
You seem unbothered by all the noise, something almost everyone comments on and Steph has to offer them all a forced smile as she rocks you back and forth and pulls silly faces to make you giggle.
"You wanted to talk?" Mackenzie says as she falls back next to Steph," You sounded pretty serious. You're not dying are you?"
"No...Macca...I was wondering if I could get some advice."
"If it's about changing position then I don't recommend goalkeeper. If it's about this little angel, then I'm not sure I'm much help either."
"I think you are." Steph isn't quite sure why she's treating it like it's some big secret. Everyone will know eventually but it's personal right now and she doesn't want anyone prying.
"Steph, you're scaring me a little."
"You know when you found out about your hearing loss, did you feel like learning auslan would help?"
Macca's brow furrows. "Why would..." Her eyes drift down to you. Somewhere across the room, Kyra and Charli shriek. It's enough to catch everyone off guard, heads automatically turning to the source of the noise but you don't react in the slightest. "Oh."
"She failed her first AOAE test and then the second one too. She failed her ABR test too."
Macca reaches out gently as Steph looks at her with wide eyes. "Is it complete hearing loss or is she hard of hearing like me?"
"Like you. I've...I've got baby hearing aids for her..." Steph digs around in her pocket to bring out a little blue case decorated with whichever stickers caught your eye when she got you yesterday. You'd smacked a few of them when Steph presented them to you and she had stuck them onto the case. She pops it open to reveal the aids.
Honestly, Mackenzie didn't even know that you could give babies hearing aids.
"She doesn't really like them though. The doctor said to keep them in whenever she's awake but...She really doesn't like them sometimes and I don't want her teased when she goes to school."
"It's different," Macca says eventually as she watches your whole face be taken over by a yawn," I was much older when I found out. I knew how to speak and communicate. I...I don't think it could hurt to learn it with her although if you're staying with Arsenal long-term then you should probably do a bit of bsl too, just to be safe."
"Right, yes."
Steph had known about your hearing loss for months now. Some of the workers assigned to you had tried to warn you away from her because of it. They made you out to be a difficult case or defective in some way.
But Steph thought you were a little angel.
You were so perfect and sweet and she wanted to adopt you even though everyone told her that there were better, hearing babies to choose from.
But you had endeared her from the moment you met, smacking blocks together and chewing on your fingers.
"You should put her hearing aids in though," Mackenzie says," She'll get used to them eventually but they're no help if she's not wearing them. Did they teach you how?"
Steph nods. "Yeah."
"Can you teach me? Girls like us have to stick together. I can't believe they make ones that small."
That shocks a laugh out of Steph as she sits you upright to slip your hearing aids on.
You whine a little when they're turned on, scrunching up your face at all of the noise you can suddenly hear.
"Yeah," Macca laughs at your annoyance," It was like that for me too. It's so strange that people just regularly hear so much."
You turn your head towards her when she speaks, the first time she's seen you react to noise at all and giggle, kicking your feet.
Steph beams as she stands you up on her thighs and kisses your chubby baby cheeks, blowing a few raspberries on them for good measure.
"Can we play with the baby now?" Kyra asks, suddenly barrelling into the quiet moment," Please?"
"No, Kyra," Steph says with an eye roll," You can play with my angel after camp. You'll be seeing a lot of her back in London."
"Please? I'm really responsible! I take care of Harper all the time!"
In sync, Steph and Mackenzie both watch as Charli goads Harper into rolling off the table. Thankfully, Mini is there to catch her just in time.
"That wasn't my fault! Charli was watching her!"
"Go and play with Harper, Kyra," Steph says," This angel needs a little nap so she can greet her adoring fans at dinner. Maybe, if you're good, you can help feed her."
Kyra walks off in a huff as Steph gets up from her seat.
"Steph," Macca calls out as Steph starts to get ready to put you down for a nap," My audiologist in London does kids as well. I can set up an appointment for you if you want."
"Thanks, Macca."
In the quiet of her hotel room, you finally settle. Steph's seen this kind of behaviour from you before, on those visits before she could adopt you.
Noises still seemed a little shocking to you and strange.
You give her a little smile to show off the few teeth you've got and Steph flutters kisses upon your cheeks as you giggle ecstatically.
It's the best sound in the world and Steph settles on the bed with you on your chest. You're still giggling as she slips your hearing aids out so you can sleep peacefully.
"Go to sleep, angel," She coos to you, close enough that you can feel the vibrations of her words against you," We're going to have so much fun together."
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javierpena-inatacvest · 5 months ago
Text
Growing
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Summary: After a concerning phone call from his daughter's Principal, Javi goes to find out the true reason why she's really there in the first place.
Word Count: 4.1K
Pairing: Dad!Javi x Wife!reader (No use of y/n)
Warnings: Honestly this is all fluff 😭 Misogyny, dress codes being the dumbest thing in the world, Javi going full dad mode ™️, Javi being the best girl dad, Sappy Dad Javi loving his daughters so much
A/N: This story is inspired by this ask and what started as a short little snippet ended up being 4k long 🥴 I've written so much for Javi being a dad to his younger daughters, but I will fight anyone who says he isn't the best girl dad at every phase of life his daughters are in 🥺 Javi loves all his daughters equally, but I just know he and Lucy have such a special bond and it makes me wanna cry and scream all at once. I ain't gonna lie, ya girl shed a few tears with this one 🥲 oldest daughters with emotionally unavailable fathers gang rise
Series Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist
“It should be fucking illegal to work when it’s this hot.” 
“How long have you lived in Texas for, you fucking moron? Of course it���s hot. It’s Texas. Stop bitching, you baby.” 
“Oh shut up. You’re telling me you're comfortable right now?” 
“No, you idiot. It’s hot as Satan’s asshole in here. Of course I’m not. But whining isn’t gonna make it not hot.” 
“I know it’s not. Just let me complain, okay? Fuck, I honestly may take Satan’s asshole over this…” 
While no one at the Laredo Sheriff’s department was a stranger to the sweltering Texas heat, even Javi couldn’t argue with his fellow co-workers that for a morning in late May, there was no denying it was already miserably hot outside. 
He had just finished getting an earful about the topic from his daughters this morning during school drop-off, complaining that they may actually die of heat stroke before the day is done, and that his youngest, Harper, may die from “smelly boy sweat”, since no boy in the 7th grade was wearing enough deodorant as they should be (and that, he couldn’t argue). 
“Cater’s right, Miller. Complaining isn’t helping you get all your shit done, and I need that file by the end of the day.” Javi grumbled, surprising Agent Carter and Miller as he passed their desks on the way to his office, making the pair raise their hands in defense in justification of their weather woes. 
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t worry, it’ll be done before the end of the day. If I don’t melt into a puddle first…” Agent Miller grumbled, sticking his face back into the piles of papers scattered across his desk. 
While he would never give his co-workers the satisfaction of knowing he was just as irritated by the early onset heatwave as they were, Javi’s suit jacket was already shed and sleeves were rolled up past his elbows before he had barely made it through his office door. 
As he took a seat at his desk, looking over his list of to-do’s for today, he was taken aback to hear the aggressive ringing of his phone this early, wondering what could have already gone so wrong that someone already needed to get a hold of him.   
Ring, ring, ringggggg. Ring, ring, ringggg-
“Laredo Sheriff’s Department, this is Peña.” 
“Hi Mr. Peña. This is Mr. Wilson, Assistant Principal over at United High School.” 
Javi sat up just a little straighter in his desk chair, running his hand over the back of his neck, a jolt of nerves hitting his stomach like he was the one being called down to the principal’s office. 
Javi had gotten plenty of phone calls from his daughter’s school throughout the years. Calls to pick one of them up and take them home because they were sick, forgotten lunchboxes and school projects, one justified elementary school fist fight- Javi had pretty much heard it all. 
Now that your daughters had reached middle school and high school, the calls home now came few and far between, and most of the time, came from the girls themselves on their own phones, more often than not, in the form of your middle daughter, Elliot, asking if he would come pick her up because school was “the most boring place on earth”. 
He took a moment to try and compose himself, knowing that if one of the girls was sick, they would have texted him, or would have gotten a call from an office secretary, and last time he checked, Assistant Principals weren’t calling parents in the middle of a work day just to sprinkle in some good news. 
So what in the hell was he calling for? 
“Uh, H-hi, Mr. Wilson. Can I ask, um, what uh- what’s the reason for the phone call? Is everything okay?” 
“Well Mr. Peña, I’m calling because I’m here with your daughter. Unfortunately, she’s here after a teacher referral for disrespectful and defiant behavior.” 
Javi could feel his brow furrow and face scrunch in genuine confusion, practically left speechless by Mr. Wilson’s statement. Sure, his daughter Elliot was going through a little bit of a “phase” right now, but even though she had come out of the womb with an iron will power and enough sass to fuel a small country, she knew better than to talk back to adults, especially her teachers. 
“Are- Are you serious? I’m really sorry, Mr. Wilson. Could you um- What did Elliot do?” 
“Oh, I’m sorry, I should have clarified. While I have had the… pleasure…. of meeting your daughter, Elliot, she’s not the one I’m calling about. Mr. Peña, I’m calling about your daughter, Lucy.” 
If the phone call itself wasn’t already enough to knock Javi on his ass, that statement sure as hell was. 
“Lucy? There’s no fucking way.” He thought to himself. 
In all 12 years Lucy had been in school, the worst thing any teacher had ever had to say about your oldest daughter was that she was an overachiever. Lucy was your classic, type-A oldest daughter- She was a straight A student, captain of her soccer team, a member of every club under the sun, and most importantly, was the kindest kid a parent could ask for. Lucy lived by the rules, so the fact that she went out of her way to break one, let alone be disrespectful about it? Something wasn’t adding up. 
“I… Mr. Wilson, I’m sorry, I don’t wanna be rude, but- are you sure you’ve got the right kid?” Javi stammered, still in shock from what he had just heard, wondering when someone was going to walk in and tell him this was some sort of weird prank. 
“Oh yes, I’m sure. Mr. Peña, I think it may be best if you and your wife just come down to the school to talk about this.” 
“Um, my- my wife is out of town helping her dad out after surgery but uh- yeah, I’ll um, I’ll be there in the next uh- shit…” He muttered, looking down at his watch, quickly calculating in his brain, “the next 30 minutes?” 
“Great. We’ll see you then, Mr. Peña. Goodbye.” 
“B-bye.” 
Javi sat there for a moment, phone still held to his ear as the dial tone rang, shooting in one ear and out the other as he tried to process what had just happened. He shook his head, trying to snap himself out of his confusion enough to let his nerves take over, frantically scrambling to grab his things before storming out of the office even faster than he had entered a few moments ago. 
As soon as he was in the car, Javi was frantically dialing your number, backing out of his parking spot and pulling out onto the road like he was being called for some sort of life threatening emergency. 
“C’mon, pick up, pick up, pick up…” Javi huffed, anxiously tapping his fingers against his steering wheel, waiting for you to answer.
“Hey, honey! What’s up? Hold on- yes, it’s Javi. Okay. I- yes, I will. All my family says hi and that we miss you! What’s going on?” You answered, an unsuspecting cheer in your tone, just happy to hear his voice. 
“Uh- yeah, tell them, I- yeah, I say hi, too.” Javi responded, clearly frazzled and distracted as he sped down the road, wishing he would have taken a police squad car instead of his truck to get to Lucy’s school sooner. 
“Javi, what’s going on? Are you okay?”  You asked, clearly sensing the concern in his voice. 
“I just got a call from the Assistant Principal that Lucy is down in the office because she got a referral for being defiant and disrespectful.” 
“Wait, you mean Elliot?” 
“No. Lucy.” 
“Oh shit.” 
“That’s what I thought, too.” 
“Did they tell you why? Or what happened? That doesn’t seem like her at all. She- she knows better than that? And how much trouble she’d be in?” 
“No, I’m going down to the school right now. If I wasn’t already sweating bad enough because it’s hot as fuck here today, I sure fucking am now.” Javi grumbled, pushing up his sleeves further before wiping the sweat accumulating on his forehead, sticking his dark curls to his skin. 
“Hey, hey, Jav. I’m sure it will be okay. I’m sure there’s gotta be a reason. Take a few deep breaths, okay? Please just keep me posted.” 
“Okay. I-I will.” 
“It’ll be okay, Papa Bear. I love you.” 
“Love you too.” 
With a quick beep on the other end of the phone, Javi set down his phone in his lap, wrapping his fingers around the wheel with an iron grip and clenching his jaw until it hurt, turning on the radio as loud as it could go to drown out the “what-if’s” dancing around his mind in what was going to be the world’s longest 10 minute drive to United High School. 
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Javi had found himself in plenty of stressful situations throughout his life. Hell, stress was a given working as a DEA agent in Colombia trying to take down the biggest drug lords of the 20th century. Yet somehow, Javi found himself just as nervous, if not more, as he walked into the main office of Lucy’s high school, trying to figure out what she had done that was worthy of a trip to the Assistant Principal. 
After some directions from one of the secretaries, Javi found Mr. Wilson’s office door, giving it a few raps before it was answered by a short and stout older man, his poorly balding head adorned with a limited amount of scraggly gray hairs and face painted with an unamused half-smile. 
“Mr. Peña? Please, come in and take a seat.” Mr. Wilson sighed, gesturing to an open chair next to his daughter, sitting with her arms crossed over her chest and eyes peeled to the floor, seemingly trying to shrink herself as small as possible into her chair. 
Before Javi could even ask Lucy what was going on or if she was okay, Mr. Wilson had already begun on his rant, promptly taking a seat behind his desk with a deep sigh, forcing the attention onto him. 
“Well Mr. Peña, I’m sorry to have to call you in from your job, but I felt that this was something that more than warranted a parental visit. As if it wasn’t bad enough she is already deliberately breaking our school’s dress code, Lucy's already been one of several students down here today who have had the audacity to argue with both teachers and myself about the issue.” 
Just as Javi was about to speak, he stopped himself in disbelief, trying to process what he had just heard, looking over at Lucy, trying to hold back her tears before turning back to Mr. Wilson. 
“I’m- I’m sorry, I think I must be missing something. This is about what Lucy’s wearing?” Javi asked, scratching the back of his head in confusion. 
“Yes.” Mr. Wilson replied, almost annoyed that Javi’s immediate response was shock, rather than anger. “Our dress code clearly states that girls may not wear shorts below fingertip length or tank tops that are less than 3 fingers thick across the strap. It’s a distraction for both male staff and students. As your daughter is a Junior, this rule should come as no surprise to her. On top of this, she and a few other girls in the hallway this morning were written up for resisting coming to the office after teachers on dress code duty had written them up.” 
Javi had to visibly shake his head, trying to make sure he had really understood what he had just heard as his jaw hung open in disbelief. He took a deep breath, trying not to laugh to himself out of shock and building anger, asking one more time to make sure he truly comprehended this was the reason for the phone call this morning. 
“I’m sorry, I really think I must not be understanding this.” 
“That’s not what happened…” Lucy quietly piped in, eyes still glued to the floor. 
“Please, Ms. Peña, why don’t you enlighten us, then?” Mr. Wilson replied, a sarcastic delight in his tone. 
“I was on my way to second period when I got stopped by one of the teachers in the hallway. She told me that she needed to measure my tank top and shorts to make sure they were up to dress code. I knew they were kinda short but it’s like, a million degrees outside today and everyone is miserable because the air conditioning doesn’t work in half the rooms on the second floor.” Lucy paused, sitting up a little taller in her chair, looking over at her dad, her face filled riddled with guilt. Javi looked back at her, quietly nodding in reassurance for her to keep going. 
“But um, the teacher said that my shorts were too short, and that I needed to go to the office so they could write me a dress code referral. But I had a huge presentation that I’ve been working on that I was supposed to give today for my second period science class, and Ms. Feltmate told us that if we miss the presentation portion of our project, we get an automatic 20% reduction in our grade. I’ve worked so hard on that project, and I told the teacher in the hallway I couldn’t go because I’d miss my presentation. She told me she didn’t care, and that I should have known better, and then I told her it wasn’t fair that she’s going to ruin my grade on this project because of my shorts when literally everyone in the school is breaking dress code today because it’s so hot out. I tried to tell her I’d even go before 3rd period so I didn’t have to miss my presentation but she told me she didn’t believe me and that she was going to write me up. So, I’ve been down here until you came. I’m- I’m sorry, Dad.” 
At this point, tears were welling in Lucy’s eyes, her voice quivering and bottom lip trembling, trying to keep from completely sobbing in front of her Dad and Assistant Principal, looking up at Javi with regret and shame for what she’d done. 
If Javi wasn’t upset before his daughter’s testimony, now, he was absolutely fuming. Javi was using every ounce of composure he had left to keep from completely exploding as he readjusted himself in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he locked eyes with Mr. Wilson. 
“Mr. Wilson, what period should Lucy be in right now?” Javi asked, trying to keep as calm as possible while he waited for Mr. Wilson’s surprised response. 
“Uh- I believe 4th period just started? Why?” 
“So you mean to tell me, Mr. Wilson, that not only has my daughter missed out on a huge presentation that she has spent countless hours working on, she’s also missed out on two other classes because you think that keeping her here in your office because of her shorts is more important than her learning?” 
Mr. Wilson stared back at Javi in a silent shock, taken aback that he was in fact, not on his side at all, and was seconds away from absolutely ripping him a new one for what he had done to his daughter. 
“Well, y-yes, but-” Mr. Wilson stammered, trying to rebuttal. 
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. I’m sorry, Mr. Wilson, but this is the goddamn stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Lucy is a straight A student. She cares more about school than any kid I’ve ever met. She is smart, and hard working, and the fact that you wanna actively punish her for that just because she’s wearing shorts when it’s the hottest damn day of the year is absolutely fucking ridiculous. Second of all, if playing dress code police is more important to you than girls going to class because some teenage creeps, better yet, staff members can’t keep it in their pants, you’ve got a way bigger issue on your hands than what my daughter chooses to wear to school.”  
A stark silence hung in the air for a moment filled with mixture of Javi’s fumes, Lucy’s shock and surprise, and Mr. Wilson’s overwhelming embarrassment at the situation he had brought upon himself. Before Mr. Wilson could even try to muster out some sort of defense, Javi was already standing up out of his chair, nudging Lucy to do the same. 
“Grab your stuff, Lu, we’re going.” 
“Mr. Peña, let me assure you that-” 
“Mr. Wilson, the only thing you need to assure me is that you’re going to explain to her teacher where Lucy was wasting her time this morning so she can give her presentation for full credit, and that I’m not gonna hear from you again in regards to what my kid wears to school when it’s 105 degrees outside. Have a nice day.” 
Without another word, Javi was already halfway out the door, Lucy quickly following behind him as he signed her out for the rest of the day before silently storming out to his truck slamming the door behind him as Lucy sheepishly crawled into the passenger side, setting her backpack between her feet. 
“Dad, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to-” 
“Lu, I’m not mad at you. You have nothing to apologize for. You think I’d be upset with you because of that?” 
“Well, I don’t know, I mean, I did technically break the rules, and you had to leave work to come here, and-” 
“Hey.” Javi paused, putting a hand on Lucy’s shoulder, getting her to take her eyes out of her lap and look at him, “Lucy, I’m proud of you. You stood up for yourself for something that was clearly important to you when you knew what other people were doing wasn’t right. I could never be mad at you for that.” 
Finally, a small smile pursed the edges of Lucy’s lips, shrugging her shoulders to try and play off her dad’s compliment, even though they both knew Javi was more than right to be proud of what his daughter had done. 
“Thanks, Dad.” 
“Of course, Lu. I’m being serious though, what you did takes a lotta balls. You should be proud of yourself.” Javi smiled, giving Lucy a little nudge with the hand still placed on her shoulder. 
“Ew, Dad, gross.” Lucy sighed, rolling her eyes as she playfully shoved her Dad’s arm off her, the pair quietly laughing to themselves. 
“You promise I’m not in trouble?” Lucy asked again, raising an eyebrow at her dad. 
“The only punishment I’m making you endure is forcing you to spend some time with your old man for the rest of the day.” Javi smirked, fastening his seatbelt before looking over his shoulder to back out of his haphazard park job. 
“Could be worse.” Lucy teased, giving her Dad a little shrug, secretly excited that not only had her Dad stood up for her without a second thought, but was letting her ditch school to spend time together. While at the ripe age of 17, she wouldn’t admit it out loud, Lucy knew how lucky she was to have a dad like hers. “Do we have to listen to your old man music while we drive, or is that also part of the punishment?” 
“Yup. No Jonas Brothers for this drive, Lucy Lu.” 
“Dad, I haven’t listened to the Jonas Brothers in years. I don’t even like them anymore.” Lucy laughed, cringing at Javi’s presumed music interests for her. “That’s okay, I don’t mind your old man music. You’re better than Mom. She’s been on a huge ABBA kick every time we drive to soccer practice, and if I hear “Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie” one more time, my ears may bleed.” 
Reaching over the center console Lucy grabbed the aux cord, plugging in her phone, scrunching her face in concentration as she scrolled through a few different playlists until landing on something that seemed to fit the bill, setting her phone in her lap while turning up the volume. 
Dun. 
Dunnnadnun. 
Dunanun.  
Javi couldn’t help but smile at Lucy’s pick of “Back in Black” by AC/DC, one of Lucy’s favorite songs her and Javi would listen to on her drives hockey practices and games when she was little, claiming the song gave her special powers to “kick boys butts” when she played. 
“Damn, you must really want me to kick your ass in putt putt, huh?” Javi teased, hinting at his makeshift plans for the rest of the afternoon. 
“Really? That's what we're doing? Dad, no offense, but you suck at putt putt. Are you trying to make this easy for me? Because if that’s the case, then I’ll start planning my flavor choice for my extra scoop of winner’s ice cream now.” 
“Whatever you say, smartass.” 
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After 18 holes of mini-golf, Javi couldn’t even pretend that he put up a fight against Lucy, admitting in defeat that he didn’t even stand a chance against her, not even foregoing bribery to get her to throw away his embarrassingly high score card as proof of his loss. 
Per tradition in the Peña household, Lucy rightfully earned her extra scoop of ice cream at Eva’s Dairy Barn for her impressive putt putt victory, her and Javi settling in on their favorite bench by the little stream that ran behind the ice cream shop, where their family had spend more than their fair share of time enjoying their favorite treats while stomping and splashing in the creek. 
“Victory sure does taste sweet.” Lucy joked, sticking her tongue out at Javi as she bit into her ice cream, Javi rolling his eyes at her even though she had every right to give him shit after his terrible performance. 
“Well if you can find a college with a putt putt scholarship, that’s the place to go.” Javi smiled before the pair went quiet, the reality of knowing Lucy would be seriously starting to look at colleges soon weighing heavy in his throat and deep in his chest. “Have you uh, thought anymore about schools you like?” He asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant, rather than the complete and utter terror he really felt. 
“I don’t know… a lot of people from school are talking about going to Texas Tech or Texas A&M… I think I like Texas A&M but, I don’t know, it’s just….” Lucy paused, taking a deep breath, anxiously twiddling with her fingers. 
“Just what, Lu?” 
“It’s almost 6 hours away. I know it’s not really that far but, I don’t know… I’m just really worried that I’ll miss you guys. Don’t tell Elliot and Harper I said that.” 
It took everything in Javi not to melt into a weepy, sobbing mess right then and there on that bench, wondering how yesterday, he was bringing Lucy home from the hospital, scared shitless on how in the world he was going to be a father, let alone a half decent one, and now, here Lucy was, nearly an adult who had blossomed into the most wonderful daughter he could have asked for, and was getting ready to leave for college. 
Wrapping his arm over Lucy’s shoulder, she let her head fall next to his, sitting for a moment in a thoughtful silence before Javi spoke. 
“No matter where you go or what you do, you know that we’ll always be there for you, right? Even when you’re sick of us. You’re an amazing kid, Lu. We’re all so proud of you. I’m so proud of you. We’ll be there for you even if you’re on the other end of the earth if that’s where you wanna go. I love you, kiddo.” 
“Love you too, Dad.” 
Javi couldn’t help but reach up to wipe the tears welling in his eyes with the back of his hand after a quick kiss on Lucy's forehead, making Lucy laugh as she tried to hide the tears of her own. 
“Dad, are you crying?” 
“No… A little… I’m just really pissed you beat me at mini golf, okay?” Javi joked, trying to use a little humor before he became a total sap. “Alright, we should probably head home before Elliot and Harper get too suspicious.” 
“Not looking forward to the 10 pounds of shit they’re gonna give me when I found out I got called down to the principal's office.” 
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Elliot will happily triple your visits by the time she’s your age. As for Harper, God, I honestly worry she’s gonna be calling the principal down to see her.” 
“Is this your subtle way of telling me I’m your favorite child?” 
“No, this is my subtle way of thanking you that despite your run in with the pants police today, you’re the one I’m least worried about having to bail out of jail one day. Don’t tell them I said that.” 
“Your secret’s safe with me, Dad.”  
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Taglist:
@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @purpleprincess75 @angelofsmalldeath-codeine
@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24
@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85
@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo
@endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @milly-louise
@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled
@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @vee-bees-blog
@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @msmorningstaarr
@amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild
@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog
@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs
@purpleprincess75
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sunsetkerr · 10 months ago
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KISS & TELL | s.kerr
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summary: the girls find out exactly who gave you that ring [789 words]
pairing: matildas!reader x sam kerr
notes: the long-awaited second part to 'hush hush'! this was the most voted wip to work on, next piece will be too far gone which was the second most popular xx happy valentines week loves!
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IT WENT ON FOR about a week.
Your teammates pestered you all throughout camp about who gave you your engagement ring, and most importantly, how you kept it a secret for so long.
You gave them bits and pieces. Oh, we've been together for a few years now, but we've just kept it private..... She's super busy lots of the time, really hectic work schedule...... We played soccer together growing up.... You just didn't relay that you still play together. That your fiancee actually captains you.
Sam was enjoying every moment of it. She loved the secrecy, she adored watching her teammates pull their hair out over it. Chids had a whole shared notes app dedicated to adding information about your dubbed, 'mystery woman'. Sam revelled in her new title.
She was feeling extra cheeky, there was no denying that. Sam was at her peak watching everyone scramble around, listening as you slipped out little pieces of information of your relationship together.
Did you feel guilty that you hadn't told your team? Sure. But you and Sam never really felt the need to. They're your family, you love them with your whole heart- but this was one thing you and Sam just wanted for yourselves.
"Well I want to help plan your hens night," Alanna shrugged. The topic of your secret engagement had come up again after dinner one night.
"No because I'm not going unless you tell us!" Macca argued from her spot on the beanbag, Harper on her lap. You laughed, crossing your arms and putting your feet up on the couch.
"We can do without the numbers, Mac" You waved her off.
"Hey Y/N?" Ellie walked into the lounge area looking for you. "Can I grab my pre-wrap from you tonight please? I wanna start packing for Queensland,"
"Always punctual as usual" Mini chirped from her place on the couch, your feet resting in her lap.
"Shut up" Ellie quipped.
You chuckled, "Yeah, let me go grab it". You headed off towards your room and managed to pinch Sam's ass on your way past her, distracting her from the in-depth conversation she was having with Steph.
You chuckled as she tried her best to ignore you, but you knew she could never. Once you got into your room, it was only a matter of seconds before Sam followed you in. She crept up behind you and snaked her arms around your waist, tickling you as she squeezed you tight.
"You're cheeky, hey" She laughed, kissing your cheek as you giggled and tried to push your way out of her grasp. She moved her way down to your neck and you tried your best not to squirm in pleasure, knowing that at any second anyone could come-
"Aunny Sammy and Y/N are kissing!"
Your heart dropped and you pulled apart from Sam. You both turned around to see Harper standing in the doorway, pointing at you and Sam who she had just caught in the act.
"Mummy!" She ran off, yelling down the hallway.
"Harps, Harper! No!" You called after her, running down the hallway. She was surprisingly fast for a near-three year old. By the time you managed to find her she was already halfway through relaying to your team what she had seen.
"They kiss! Sam and Y/N kiss like Mum and Mummy!" She smiled looking back over to you. Sam had now come up behind you, a guilty look on her face, your lipgloss smeared on her lips.
"Skip.." Mary spoke up, slowly looking from you to Sam. "Is that true? Did you kiss Y/N?" She asked a shocked look on her face. The rest of your team looked at you both in silence.
Sam begrudenly crossed her arms over her chest and nodded her head shyly, a smile breaking out on her lips. "She just got engaged, Sam.. Not cool" Mary shook her head.
"Oh my god," Alanna erupted.
"Are you serious Maz?"
"Jesus fucking Christ" Mackenzie put her head in her hands with a sigh.
"What?" Mary held up her hands, looking from everyone back to you both. Sam chuckled and stepped forwards, holding up your hand that dawned your shiny new engagement ring.
You saw the cogs turn in her head before they finally clicked. "Oh my god!" She screamed, rushing over to congratulate you both. The girls all followed suit, shouting at you both for keeping it a secret from them all for so long.
"I can't believe you!" Alanna hugged you from behind, her arms around your neck.
"I don't kiss and tell, Kennedy!" You smiled as you watched Sam explain to your team how she proposed. You were so happy to finally have your team in on your secret. It just made it all that much sweeter.
525 notes · View notes
slytherinn-xo · 8 months ago
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St Alban's Local- Steph Catley
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Steph Catley X Primary School Teacher! Katrina Gorry Sister! Reader
Synopsis: A cute morning café run sends you and Steph viral when Lorraine gets there.
1172 words.
It was definitely weird being an Australian in England, the difference in temperature. Having a cold Christmas. A warmish summer off from work. 
Following your footballer fiancée half way across the world and finding a new job in England as a Primary School teacher. 
But one thing I couldn't get my head around was the telly over here, and the British obsession with morning television, and these talk shows like Lorraine, This Morning and Loose Women. 
Not that I got to watch any of them as I was either at work already dealing with classes of up to 35, 5 year old children. Or in the holidays I took lie ins very seriously as I refused to leave the bed I shared with Steph until at least 10 o'clock no matter how much she tried to get up she wasn't moving either. 
So it was a surprise during the School Holidays, when Steph was able to drag herself, me and our giant dog Calvin out of the house and to Mulberry's Café. Mulberry's Café was literally the only place you would find me in a morning. 
The owner of the cute little café was such a cute lady, and she was also Australian, she felt like she was another mother to me. And she loved it when I brought in Calvin or Harper. But DO NOT and I mean DO NOT bring in Kyra or Katie. 
Why? Because last time I came in with either one of them just after Kyra moved here, Kyra broke two mugs somehow, and Katie is ............................ Irish and that's enough of a reason for Mrs Mulberry. 
But really I loved going to this little cafe on our morning walk with Calvin, as we get to sit in the little garden with him, and he gets to have a few biscuits with a bowl of water. 
So for once when I get there with Calvin and Steph in tow, as I swing open the door to the cafe, the bell jingling into the open space. 
"Mrs Mulberry!" I cheer as I see the older lady, going to give her a hug as she leaved the counter unattended to on this empty morning for her. 
 "Kaitlyn!" The older lady cheered out to me with a smile, hugging me as she kissed my cheeks lightly. "And I've told you it's Dot." 
"Dot, it's so nice to see you for once." I finally told the older lady as she held my cheeks in her hands with a smile. Having a little moment with my mother figure over here. 
"Yeah I was finally able to drag her out of bed!" And Steph just had to ruin it. Really this was a sweet moment and now she ruined it. 
"Oh shush you, you're no better!" I turned and finally spoke to my fiancée as I pointed at her, as she held Calvin back from jumping onto Dot. 
"Come on girls, now give me a hug Steph my girl." Dot finally turned to Steph and held her arms out wide for her to walk into for a moment. 
"It's lovely to see you Dot." Steph told her with a smile as she looked at me and locked eyes with mine over the shoulder of the lady as she stuck her tongue out at me. 
"Stop it you!" I told Steph pointing at her a cheeky smile on my lips, with Steph coming over to stand by me, with her hand in mine. 
"But......." Dot told us both with a smile as she looked at us both. 
"Oh no what do you want?" I asked her as I leaned my head on Steph's shoulder, as Calvin was finally let loose to go over to the older lady, as he jumped up at her. 
"Oh yes, good boy......." Dot focussed on Calvin for a moment. "Oh yes. We have Lorraine coming to the café this morning to interview someone about what they would do with 100, 000 pounds." 
"No." I just muttered. 
"And I said I would find someone for them, and since you're here, they're going to be here any minute, and I need someone for them to film." Dot told us both as she finally gave Calvin his biscuit. 
"I'm in St Alban's today and going to see what the locals would do if they won big this Autumn." The woman told the camera. Before it panned over to us two and Calvin. 
"Well we got engaged last New Years so we'd save it up for the wedding I'm sure." Steph told the camera with a nod. 
"That is a lot more expensive them we thought." I added in with a nod, and luckily that was all we would have to do. 
But what we didn't know was that over the next few days the clip would go viral for Steph being called a St Alban's local, but also as I was finally showed to the public with Steph. 
Our relationship has been private but not secret. Like the public know who I am if they follow Steph or any of the Aussie gals but this was different. 
A lot of WOSO fans knew who I was now. 
But my kiddo, my students all over the school, parent's included also knew. And I knew it would be a bugger coming up this Monday, with the kiddo's coming back to school. 
And this was the first reaction when I came back to school on Monday morning, and the kiddo's we're running in, like they had all planned to come in all at once and just bombard me with questions upon questions. 
'Miss Miss were you on the telly yesterday!' 
'Miss Gorry why were you at Mulberry's Café yesterday?' 
'Miss are you seeing Steph Catley the footballer?' 
'Miss why are you a St Alban's Local if you're Australian?' 
"Guys, breathe and we'll do this one by one, now hands in the air and I'll get you through all of this!" I told them all as they went to their assigned seats around my class room. 
"But first in case this covers your questions, I am currently engaged to Steph Catley Arsenal and Matilda's defender." I told all of the kiddos with a smile. "She proposed to me last New Years, and you guys should all be excited, because thanks to me, we've got our guests coming in next week." 
I has organised a day next week on their day off, and some of the Arsenal girls had agreed to come in and visit us all and have a fun day at the school for the kids. It wasn't just my class but for all of the year groups. 
"But Miss, who proposed to who?" I heard one of the kids asked, and honestly I wanted to laugh. 
People think the kids wouldn't accept this or would ask inappropriate questions but really they didn't care, and I was just happy they didn't ask me about how I looked as I looked so tired and dead in the clip. 
255 notes · View notes
miryum · 5 months ago
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"Negotiation"
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Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy's relationship
Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff
Series Masterlist
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“L/n,” Wayne rapped his fist on Y/n’s desk urgently. “There was a botched B&E at a jewellery store on Benbrock that just turned into a hostage situation.” He sighed and said, “they want you to be the negotiator.”
Y/n gasped and let out a strangled noise of excitement. “Oh my God, my prayers have finally been answered!”
“You pray for a hostage situation?” Jason asked incredulously.
“Yes, I did.” Y/n turned to him, serious as stone. “Every single day.”
Jason frowned, more concerned for the hostages after they heard Y/n’s jokes than Y/n herself. He knew she could handle herself. ”I don't understand. Why isn't ESU handling this?”
“Apparently, the hostage-taker asked for Y/n by name.” Wayne raised a brow and stared down at his detective like she had an answer.
“Oh, it's getting even cooler!” Y/n hummed and contemplated, “man, I wonder who it is. Maybe it's the sister of someone I put away for life. Ooh! Or the identical twin of someone I put away for life. Ooh! Or the fraternal twin of-”
Captain Wayne cut off her tangent. “L/n! Just get down there! And take Drake with you.”
“You got it!” Y/n beamed and jumped up. “Yep, yep, yep.” She turned to Tim who had come to stand next to her. “How do I look? Police-y enough?” She waved him off before he could answer. “It doesn't matter. Let's go negotiate!”
When Tim and Y/n got the the jewellery store, the block was closed off and police cars were surrounding the building, sirens going on and off periodically. Y/n waltzed up to the area and pronounced, “don’t panic, everyone, I'm here.” An officer beckoned her over and Y/n introduced herself. “I'm Y/n L/n, the negotiator.”
The man stared at her, unimpressed. “So you're Y/n L/n?”
“The negotiator, yes. And… who are you?”
“Arnold Flass, ESU. This was my crime scene before you bozos got here.”
Tim sipped on his coffee before noting, “nice to meet you too, Arnold.”
“I've spent ten years as a negotiator and you just took my first hostage situation,” Arnold exclaimed. “All I've done up until now is talk jumpers off of rooftops.”
“Well, that must be satisfying in its own way, right?” Y/n offered. Tim walked off to talk to a more senior, professional officer.
Arnold scoffed. “Yeah, really satisfying saving a crazy person's life. Here's a little advice: I don't like you.”
“Not so much advice as a hurtful statement based on limited interaction,” Y/n muttered.
“He wants to talk to you,” Tim came back and motioned to Y/n.
Arnold rolled his eyes and ripped the label off his vest. He handed it to Y/n begrudgingly. “Get the hell in there.”
“Oh, it says ‘negotiator’ on it.” Y/n happily put it on and weaved through the crowd of officers and bystanders. She took a bullhorn from a cop and called into it, “this is Y/n L/n. I am unarmed and I'm approaching the building.” The door swung open ominously and Y/n glanced back at Tim. He gave her a nod of encouragement. “You wanted to talk to me?” Y/n stepped into the jewellery store, peeking around the corner.
“Keep those hands in the air,” a voice commanded. Then, in a lighter tone, the voice joked, “and wave 'em like you just don't care.”
“What?” Y/n’s brows furrowed, confused.
The hostage-taker finally came into view. “I'm just messing with you, L/n.” Roy Harper grinned. “Put your hands down, give me a hug, darling.”
“Roy!” 
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“Okay, so are we gonna talk about it?” Steph slipped into the seat next to Jason and leaned on his desk.
“Nope.”
“Todd, you frustrate me,” Damian said. Steph blinked at him, not realising he was listening in.
Jason’s chest clenched. “There is nothing we need to talk about.”
“I disagree,” Damian muttered. 
“Listen,” Jason turned away from his computer and Steph knew that it was about to get real. “I just went out on another date with Rose. She’s a lovely girl and I was thinking of taking it to the next step. I’m planning on asking her to be my official girlfriend tomorrow night.”
Steph shook her head. “Yeah, that’s not gonna work. You see, my big plan in life is to push you and Y/n together so you can all be happy and possibly make even cuter babies.” 
Jason blushed and swallowed thickly. “I’m not interested in L/n.” 
Damian scoffed. “Brown, we have a lie detector at the precinct, correct?”
Steph grinned, eyes lighting up with mischief. “Hey…. Richard!” she called to Dick. “Wanna have a little fun?” Dick looked up, beaming impishly.
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“I gotta admit, man,” Roy said, shrugging. “I thought you'd be more happy to see me. Why’re you being so weird?”
“Oh, I don't know.” Y/n pursed her lips together. “I didn't sleep well last night, so I’m just tired. Oh, and also, this is a hostage situation!”
“Wow!” Roy sucked in a dramatic breath. “It's like that.”
“Yes, it's like that. What the hell, man? You called me, remember? You promised me that you wouldn’t do anything to wind up in jail!” Y/n referenced the time when Roy called her in the middle of the night to promise to stop his life as a criminal.
“I didn’t! I work at Tiffany and Co. now.” He rested a proud hand on his chest. ”I sell luxury jewels to the rich and famous and I do it legally. Last week I sold a sapphire necklace to the dude who played Johnny in Hotel Transylvania.”
“You met Johnny?” Y/n exclaimed. “Was he cool? Does he actually like vampires in real life? Wait- no.” She caught herself. “We’re not chatting right now. You have three hostages.”
“You mean Pam and the two Bobs?” Roy looked at the three people on the floor, rope loosely tied around their wrists. “They’re not hostages. I prefer to call them ‘collateral friendships.’ I gave them each one hundred bucks out of my own pocket.”
One of the Bobs spoke up. “Thanks again, Roy.”
The other Bob nodded his head in agreement. “You’re the man, Roy.”
Pam stuttered, “a-actually, I'd rather not be a hostage.”
“Pam hasn't come around to me yet.” Roy shrugged. “Tell her I'm a nice person, Y/n.”
“I'm so sorry,” Y/n said to Pam.
“Officer, are you friends with this criminal?” Pam asked, aghast.
Y/n’s nose scrunched up. “Not really…”
However, Roy replied at the same time, “absolutely, best friends.”
“It's a layered relationship, Pam,” Y/n defended.
“Best friends,” Roy corrected.
”Harper,” Y/n hissed, pulling him towards the door. “What is going on, dude?”
“This isn't my fault, darling!” Roy protested. “Two years ago before I went straight, I stole a big ruby from a drug dealer: Jack Napier.”
“Oh, no, Roy.” Y/n groaned. ”He's a bad guy.”
Roy whined, “I know! When I realised it was his jewel, I torched the briefcase it was in along with the drugs that were in there! Who the hell puts drugs and rubies in the same briefcase?!”
“Oh, no, Roy,” Y/n groaned in the same pitch as before. ”Briefcase drugs?”
“Millions of dollars of them! Napier just found out it was me. Said I had to do a job for him to pay off my debt.”
“But did you tell him you went straight? Did you tell him about Johnny?” Y/n asked desperately.
“I did. He said he didn’t watch Hotel Transylvania.” 
“Oh, this guy is the worst.”
“I know.” Roy’s voice turned desperate and low. “L/n, he said he's gonna kill Lian if I don't do this job.”
Y/n’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. “He can't do that. I won’t let him do that. The GCPD can help you guys. We can put you in witness protection!”
Roy shook his head. “I can’t mess up my daughter’s life ‘cause of my mistakes. That's why I'm here stealing this big ‘ole bag of rubies; to make up for the one I stole. Y/n, you know how dangerous this guy can be.” He took a breath. “I need you to help me save my daughter.”
“How can I help?” Y/n responded immediately. 
“Easy. I have a plan that's good for everyone. All I need is for you to-”
“-let him go so he can arrange a drop with Napier.” Y/n explained Roy’s plan to Tim. “We arrest Napier, save Lian, Roy turns himself in, and why is that amazing, Tim?”
“Napier’s a huge crime boss,” Tim answered.
“Aaaand what else?”
“GCPD's been trying to get Napier for years.”
“And?”
“That's it.”
“Yeah, it is.” Y/n said, “so, since we all agree, I'll go tell Roy the plan is on.” She swung around to go back inside, but Arnold stopped her.
“No, we don't all agree. He's trapped and frantic. Everything he told you is a lie.”
“Why do you say he's lying?” Y/n asked.
Arnold frowned. “That's all negotiating is. Two liars lie until one liar stands too close to the window and gets shot in the head.”
Y/n scoffed loudly. “That can't be all negotiating is!” She noticed Tim’s head lolling to the side. “Timmy, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but have some more coffee.”
“It absolutely is. Now, get in there and coax him to a window.” Arnold pressed a button on his walkie talkie. “Snipers to one. The window plan is on. I repeat: The window plan is on.”
“No, no, no, no, no!” Y/n cried and tugged the walkie talkie away from Arnold. “Snipers to zero! Snipers take a nap. The nap plan is on. It's nap time, snipers!” 
A couple minutes later, Y/n regretfully told Roy, “ESU won't take your deal. They think you're lying.”
“I'm not lying!” Roy gasped dramatically, offended. “I don't wanna be a criminal. I love my life as an average citizen. I voted for the first time this year! It was huge. Lian helped me fill in the little boxes. She chose Ed Breakfast for school board.”
“Who?”
“I don't know,” Roy muttered. “He had a funny name. He deserves a shot.”
“That's exactly why I voted for Stacy Ladle! Anyway, I'm sorry, but they're not cutting a deal.”
“So that's it?” Roy sighed. “I gotta turn myself in and let Napier kill Lian? You’ll take care of her, right?”
 Y/n’s heart broke and she could feel a plan formulating in her mind. “Actually… there might be another way.”
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“Alright, Todd.” Dick strutted in front of Jason. “We’re gonna do this one time and one time only. Do you have feelings for Y/n?” 
“Are you shitting me?” Jason’s head fell into his hands. He was strapped to a lie detector test that Steph was currently monitoring. “We’re actually doing this?”
“Yep!” Dick said. “We have to know. Now, let’s go over the evidence.”
Damian wheeled in a large cork-board which was covered in index cards, push pins, and signature red string. The index cards said things like: ‘Halloween incident,’ ‘Valentine’s Day nicknames,’ ‘1000 pushups blanket,’ ‘googly eyes,’ ‘lack of dates,’ and more.
As Jason read over the cards, his face slowly got more and more red. Dick gleefully snapped a polaroid picture of Jason’s current face and secured it to the board, adding it as another factor of evidence. 
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Roy shouted from the doorway of the jewellery store. “I've taken your negotiator hostage! If you come in here, I will shoot her.”
Y/n wailed, “just do whatever he says! My life is in his hands! Please!” 
Roy slammed the door behind them and then broke out in giggles. “That was so much fun!”
“Oh, man, you sounded really scary.” Y/n exhaled.
“No, no, it was all you. The tremble in your voice sold it. ‘Just do whatever he says.’” Roy mimicked Y/n’s panicked voice
“I mean, I just made that up. Ah, I was so in the moment.” Y/n silently praised herself on her acting skills.
“Darling, seriously? You are a great hostage,” Roy complimented.
“Aw, thanks, Harper. You're a great hostage-taker.”
Outside, Arnold was talking to Tim, lamenting, “I can't believe L/n got taken hostage. The good news is… I'm now the negotiator. Finally!” He slapped another marker labelled ‘negotiator’ on. 
“Congratulations,” Tim said dryly.
“I've been waiting for this moment for so long!” Arnold exclaimed.
Roy’s voice from the bullhorn cut him off. “I'm ready to negotiate. But I'll only talk to Tim Drake.”
“That's me, Arnold.” Tim ripped Arnold’s label off and placed it on himself.
“Oh, come on!”
“Welcome, my man!” Roy waved to Tim when the latter entered the store. “I don’t think we’ve met before, have we? I’m Y/n’s bestie. I’m a hugger; bring it in.” He walked over to Tim with open arms.
Tim, however, yanked on one of those arms and looped it over Roy’s head, effectively holding him in place. “Roy Harper, you're under arrest.”
“Holy fuck, Tim’s strong?” Y/n mumbled. “But he’s so lanky and only runs on coffee. Wait, Tim, stop.”
“What's going on?” Tim grunted as he tried to place cuffs on Roy.
“Look, this is not really a hostage situation. I mean, Pam and the two Bobs are definitely being held against their will, but not for much longer.”
Roy spoke up, trying to be helpful. “Y/n’s helping me take down Napier.”
“We can't do it without you,” Y/n pleaded.
“Seriously, L/n?” Tim scoffed. “Isn’t this the guy that you and Cass tried to take down? The one you did a thousand push ups for?” 
“You did a thousand push ups for me?” Roy cooed. 
“Not important.” 
“This is like that story my dad told me as a little kid. He used to quiz me on fables from different cultures.” Tim said, finally releasing Roy. “You're the frog and he's a scorpion. You're gonna help him across the river. In the end, he'll sting you. And then you'll both drown.”
“Geez, that's dark.” Y/n grimaced.
“Yeah, I’d never tell Lian that story,” Roy said.
“My parents didn't read to me at all,” Y/n commented. “I just watched cartoons ’till I fell asleep. Do you think that our childhoods shape the adults we become?” She hummed thoughtfully.
“They do,” Roy and Tim said at the same time.
“And cartoons shaped you into a naive little frog,” Tim said.
“Okay, first off,” Y/n held up a finger. “Little frogs are adorable, and second, he's not that kind of scorpion anymore.”
“I'm a changed bug,” Roy said.
“Actually, scorpions are arthropods.” Tim and Y/n spoke together. Tim looked at her, surprised. “What?” She shrugged. “I listened to the documentary you made us watch. Tim, I know he used to be a criminal and has fooled me in the past, and yes, he is currently engaged in criminal activity.”
“Innocent until proven guilty,” Roy reminded Tim. “But yes, I technically am robbing the store.”
“But, Tim, his daughter is in danger and we have to help her. He agreed to turn himself in when this is all over. Right, Roy?”��Y/n scrutinised him.
“I promise.”
Tim sighed. “Cass warned me about him. But okay. What do you need from me?”
“We have an airtight plan.” Roy grinned. He poked the bullhorn out of the door and shouted, ”all we demand is pizza!”
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“I’m in a relationship with Rose,” Jason insisted.
“You’re not answering the question!” Dick exclaimed, growing more frustrated. 
“That’s because the question is stupid and doesn’t need to be answered!”
“Todd, you must have lost half your brain if you think you’re fooling us.” Damian didn’t look impressed.
“Jason,” Steph exhaled. “By not answering the question, you’re answering the question.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t make sense.” Jason shot back lamely.
“It’s okay to have feelings for L/n.” Steph said, oddly calmly. “You’re not admitting defeat.”
“No, I’m aware, but just…” he sighed heavily and stared down at the table. “What if she doesn’t like me back?”
Steph slowly shut off the computer and the lie detector. Damian had a rare look of sympathy glazing over his eyes. “But she does,” Dick said softly. “She’s told all of us herself. Right, guys?” he asked his friends. 
“If I had a nickel…” Steph smiled and huffed, trailing off.
“She’s interrupted many movie nights with tangents of you,” Damian frowned at the fact. He had yet to finish The Gladiator because of Y/n.
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“We'll be safe here,” Roy directed Y/n towards a small, neon-lit shop. Tim had provided them a distraction long enough for Roy and Y/n to sneak away. Tim said he would meet with them later. “I know the owner. He'd never turn me in.”
“Yeah,” Y/n nodded along knowingly. “I have the same relationship with the guy who runs this laser tag place I love. I- I mean, gun range.”
Roy chuckled. “L/n, why’re you lying to me, huh? I love laser tag! We gotta go sometime, darling.” He led her inside the place and to a back room which had a large screen and a karaoke machine plugged in and ready to go.
Y/n beamed. “I was hoping you'd say that. Alright, let's text Napier and set up the drop.”
“Okay, yeah. ‘Got the diamonds. Let's meet.’” He clicked his phone and the message was sent. “Done.”
“Okay, now we wait.” She clicked her tongue and hummed. “You know, it’s kinda weird, sitting silently in a private karaoke room, not singing.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “But we're on a mission, so, you know, we gotta stay focused.”
“True, true, true, true, true, true.”
“So I wake in the morning and I step outside and I TAKE a deep breath and I GET! REAL! HIGH! And I scream at the top of my lungs ‘WHAT’S GOIN’ ON?’” Roy sang in a falsetto as Y/n accompanied him in a lower tone.
In the middle of the song, Roy’s phone dinged and he paused the song. “Ugh. It’s Napier.”
Y/n pouted in disappointment. “Yeah….”
“The drop is set for 5:00 p.m.” Roy informed her. 
“Let's do this.”
“Totally. Although…” Roy shot Y/n a knowing look. “That is an hour and a half from now.”
“And the drop point is actually pretty close to here,” Y/n added.
“So..."
“DANCING QUEEN! YOUNG AND SWEET! ONLY SEVENTEEN OOOOOOOH…”
Tim walked into the room and slowly sipped on his coffee, looking more tired than ever.
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“I feel more sympathy for our perps now.” Jason ripped the lie detector off himself. 
“Can you please just admit that at some point, past or present, you’ve had feelings for Y/n L/n?” Dick begged. They had spent over three hours in the interrogation room, grilling Jason on his feelings and not getting any work done.
“If it makes you let me go, then yes.” 
“I’ll take it!” Steph cried. “It’s close enough!”
“I still say I could’ve made fine use out of a pair of pliers.” Damian glared at Jason. Jason couldn’t help but shudder under his stare. 
“Torture me all you want,” Jason said. “But I don’t like Y/n like that. She’s like a sister to me. We’ve worked together for over four years. I don’t love her romantically.” 
If he had still been connected to the lie detector, its lines would’ve jumped widely.
Steph said quietly, “just know this: to remember is to love.”
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Roy explained the plan to Tim and Y/n in the parking lot where Napier would meet them. “First, a jeweller will come out and inspect the rubies. Then, when he gives the okay, Napier will come and get them.”
“And then I'll take him down.” Y/n cracked her knuckles dramatically.
“Here we go,” Roy mumbled as an expensive car pulled up and a thin man got out. Harper, Drake, and L/n got out of Y/n’s old car and Roy greeted, “What's up, dude? Did anybody ever tell you that you look like the most interesting man in the world? You get that a lot?” After an awkward silence, Roy inhaled sharply. “Geez, I get it. We're not friends.”
The thin man held out his hand and Roy placed the sack of small rubies in it. The man inspected a random ruby and then nodded. Another man got out of the car and Roy said, “There he is. Napier! What's up, Mr. Napier? How’re you doing?” Napier’s car pulled away to give them some privacy.
“Shut up.” Napier licked his lips. “Give me the rubies.”
A new voice shouted from the other end of the parking lot. “L/N!” 
Y/n cringed. “No, no, no, not now.”
Arnold yelled out, “I tracked your phone, idiot. I knew you were working with this criminal! You were gonna double cross us!”
Y/n’s head whipped back to Napier, but he was already running down the street, phone pressed to his ear, likely calling his driver.
Arnold gasped. “That's Napier. Harper wasn’t lying. Well, we gotta arrest him!” Arnold grabbed Y/n’s vest and pulled her back.
“Y/n, he's running!” Tim cried, already in pursuit of Napier.
“Lemme go!” Y/n tried to yank away.
“Only if I get the collar and one hundred percent of the credit.” Arnold growled.
“Are you negotiating right now?”
“Always.”
“Okay, that was actually a really cool line. Deal. Let’s do it.” She pointed harshly at Roy. “Stay. Here.”
“Okay.” Roy shrugged.
Y/n and Arnold ran off after Napier, catching up to Tim. “GCPD!” Tim shouted. “Stop and put your hands in the air!” Napier continued running and Tim groaned. “Why don’t they ever listen?”
“Drake,” Y/n swerved towards another street. “I’ll block him off!”
“Not without me, you won’t!” Arnold changed direction and sprinted after Y/n. 
Napier’s eyes grew wide when he saw Y/n and Arnold appear ahead of him. He glanced over his shoulder and when he saw Tim, still in pursuit, he cried out in frustration. Y/n tackled him to the ground and threw handcuffs on him. After she was done Mirandizing him, she apologised to Arnold. “Sorry I ran out on you at the jewellery store. But I couldn't let this guy get away.”
“Look, I'm fine with it.” Arnold said. “Arresting Napier’s gonna get me a promotion and at the end of the day, that's what this is all about.”
Y/n squinted at him. “Right, that and getting a major drug lord off the streets.”
“Yeah, right. I don't care about that.”
Y/n stared at him, wide-eyed before brushing him off. “Whatever. Let's bring in Roy Harper.” She left Napier with Tim and ran back to the parking lot. Finding it empty, she cried, “Oh, fucking hell! Where is he? Roy? Roy?!”
Arnold saddled up behind her. “Don't worry. We'll get him. At least we have Napier and the rubies.”
Y/n simply shouted, “Roy!”
“Why are you still calling for him?”
“ROY!”
Arnold realised, “oh my God, he has the rubies, doesn't he?”
“Roy!” Y/n quickly composed her wits and muttered to herself, “I'm sure Harper didn't run off with the rubies. I bet he's looking for me right now. You know what, I bet he's worried that I’m in trouble!” She frantically pulled out her phone. “I'll just call him and put his mind at ease.”
Arnold raised a brow. “Lady, he's already gone.” He placed a hand on Y/n’s shoulder and Y/n pushed him off, giving him an icy glare. “He's not gonna picking up.” Y/n’s jaw clenched at Arnold’s words.
Suddenly, Roy’s voice filtered through her phone and she breathed a sigh of relief. “What's up, L/n?”
“Ha!” Y/n pointed a victorious finger at Arnold. “He did pick up. In your-”
“This is goodbye forever,” Roy cut her off.
“No!” Y/n stomped her foot. “I can't believe you deceived me. I can't believe you used my love for Lian against me.”
“I love that you love her.”
“Of course I do! She’s the living embodiment of the reminder that childhood innocence never dies.”
“Amen,” he agreed. “But, I wasn't lying though. Napier was gonna hurt her and you saved her life. Buuuut then I was all alone with the rubies and next thing I know, I'm hotwiring a car and driving away.
”But I thought you liked being a good citizen? You voted Ed Breakfast for school board!” Y/n whined. 
“And he immediately had a sex scandal.” Roy reminded her. “It was very disillusioning.”
“Understandable. Our democracy is crumbling. But, Roy, this is not what we’re talking about. They could take my badge!” 
“Tim was right.” Roy smiled faintly. “I'm a scorpion. I thought you knew me better by now. I'm sorry I can't be the man you want me to be.”
“Damn it, stop being so romantic.” Y/n choked on her words and begged, “now turn around and come back to me, you fool?” The line clicked and she called, “hello? Hello? He's gone…. He broke my heart.” Tim walked up behind her as her lip quivered theatrically. She turned towards her fellow detective and hugged him tightly. “Now you tell me everything's gonna be okay, Timmy boy!”
“Everything's gonna be okay,” Tim reassured monotonously.
“You don't know that, Tim!”
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“I just got off the phone with the brass,” Captain Wayne said to Y/n. “It doesn't look good. They're still trying to decide on a punishment for your actions.”
Y/n sniffed and asked meekly, “Did you tell them I feel so bad I have a tummy ache?”
“I did. They were unaffected.”
“Are you sure it’s not cramps?” Jason pushed a box of chocolate towards his coworker. “It is your time of the month.”
Y/n grimaced in disgust. “It’s creepy that you know that.”
“Not really,” Tim said. “You, Steph, and Cass have all synced up. We all know when to have desserts in our desks.”
“I think even Kori is synced up to you guys,” Dick added. “Somehow.”
“So no.” Damian spoke up. “In this instance, Todd isn’t creepy.”
Y/n looked up at Wayne as if to ask his opinion on this matter. All he said is, “I have no comment to add in this conversation. Back to the topic at hand, the brass said they could’ve justified your tactics if you'd gotten Napier and the rubies, but as things stand, there are no rubies.” He sighed and said, “you're looking at a suspension, maybe worse. Unless you can track down Harper and recover those rubies.”
“Can they wait twelve months?” Y/n asked hopefully. “I usually run into him about once a year.” Her eyes caught on something on her desk. “Wait a minute. What doth we have here?”
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Y/n walked into the karaoke place and looked around hesitantly. “I've got this coupon for a private room?”
“Yep,” a worker said. “Right this way. We already have a song cued up for you.”
The screen blinked on as soon as the worker left the room and a large picture of Roy Harper with Lian on his hip showed up.
Y/n shook her head and muttered, “Harper.”
“What's up, L/n?” the recording asked happily. “Thank you so much for coming. So, I thought about it and I think I did you dirty. I never meant to cause you any trouble.”
“Yeah, well, you caused me a lot.” Y/n kicked at something at her feet.
Roy chuckled and said, “you're talking to a pre-recorded video, but it's cool. I know what you're saying. I hear you in my heart,” he said emphatically.
Y/n rolled her eyes. “What am I doing here?” she asked herself.
“I feel the same way,” the recorded Roy placed a hand to his heart. “You’re my best friend too.” He nodded thoughtfully and said, “look, I'm not coming back. We started a new life here in San Diego.” He jostled Lian who was giggling on his hip.
Y/n shook her head, grinning. “It’s stupid telling me where you are.”
“Come on, darling, I’m not in damn San Diego.” Roy laughed loudly. “Everybody knows that place sucks! But, I got you a little something as a going away gift. It's on the table next to you.”
Y/n opened the small velvet sack and gasped. “The rubies. Yes! I- I can’t believe you actually brought them back…”
“The rubies!” Roy cried from the screen.
Y/n let out a lighthearted laugh. “Yeah, you mistimed that one.”
“No, you're the best. Look, even though I am a scorpion, I will never drown your adorable little frog ass. So that's all I gotta say.” He glanced down at Lian who was smiling happily, staring at something in the distance. “I'm sure I'll see you again at some point,” Roy said, his eyes softening. “But for now, that coupon you got there, that's for a full hour in a private room. So…”
“Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go! BeeLZEbub has a devil put aside for meeee… for meeee! For meEEEEEEEEEE!” Lian sang along as Roy and Y/n banged their heads to the music.
145 notes · View notes
incorrectbatfam · 9 months ago
Note
Batfam at the dentist HCs/incorrect quotes, please?? 🤲 I have a big surgery coming up and I'm terrified
Dick: What's up, doc?
Leslie: What are you doing?
Dick: Daffy Duck. I'm thinking of a new career as a voice actor.
Leslie: Okay but can you not do it with a mouthful of sharp objects?
———————
Cass: *brings a punch card and a knocked-out tooth*
Leslie, sighing: Here we go again.
Leslie: *stamps the card*
Leslie: Your next one is free.
———————
Leslie: *in the middle of the checkup*
Steph, getting up: Hang on, my Uber Eats is here.
Leslie: You ordered takeout to a dental appointment?
Steph: Efficiency.
———————
Leslie: You have a helmet. How did you still break your tooth?
Jason: *flashback to throwing his helmet at Dick, missing, and it bouncing back*
Jason: Enough with the questions, okay?
———————
Leslie: Ever consider braces?
Kate: I don't want any part of me to be straight.
———————
Leslie: Oh, you're early! Just check in with the receptionist and take a seat until I call you.
Bette: *goes up to the receptionist*
Bette: Checking in for Bette Kane.
The receptionist: Sorry, I don't have you down here.
Bette: Maybe try my full name? Mary Elizabeth Kane?
The receptionist: Still don't see you.
Bette: I should have an appointment for 2:00 today.
The receptionist: *typing*
The receptionist: I see you now. The doctor's right, you are early. Your appointment is tomorrow.
———————
Selina: *using cat claws as a toothpick*
Leslie: This might be an issue.
———————
Leslie: Say "ahh."
Tim: *screams*
———————
Leslie: You're bleeding because you don't floss.
Harper, who came in after a mission: ...
———————
Leslie: —but I cannot stress this enough, it's important to wear a mouthguard for all contact sports. And some non-contact sports. And training. And patrol. And walking through Gotham. And whenever you're around the Waynes. Actually, I'm just gonna give you the box. Take your time. Pick whatever colors you want. If you need me, I'm gonna be in my office questioning my life choices.
Luke:
Luke: ...I just asked how her day was.
———————
Bruce: Are you sure there's no tooth fairy? Because the Justice League has state-of-the-art tracking system that can locate them. I really think we can form a contract to expand social programs for children.
Leslie: Just shut up and let me do my job.
———————
Leslie: Everything's looking good except for a few minor spots.
Barbara: Yeah, well, call me when they invent stainless coffee.
———————
Leslie: I recommend removing your wisdom teeth.
Alfred: But that's where I keep my wisdom.
———————
Leslie: I see you still have one last baby tooth. It should've come out by now.
Damian: Father said to keep it in.
Leslie: Why?
Damian: He wants me to stay a baby.
———————
Leslie: Cullen, you're next.
Cullen: *climbing out the skylight*
Leslie: Wow.
Leslie: That's actually impressive for a non-vigilante.
———————
Leslie: Hey, Helena. I thought you were off duty this week. How'd you knock a molar loose?
[earlier]
Students: *fighting in the hall*
Helena: Break it up! All of you go to the office! And delete that video!
[present]
Helena: I need a raise.
———————
Carrie: I don't get it. I brush twice a day AND floss. How do I still have cavities?
Leslie: What do you brush with?
Carrie: Toothpaste, obviously.
Leslie: And what do you floss with?
Carrie:
Leslie: Carrie...
Carrie: The British call it candy floss for a reason, don't they?
———————
Leslie: Well done today, Duke. Have a sticker.
Duke: Why are they all the Justice League?
Leslie: Funding comes with a catch.
Duke:
Duke: *picks the Flash*
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jessiexcorner · 10 months ago
Text
Heartbreak Highs. (pt. 3)
Description: Amerie, Harper, and (Y/n). The three were the best of friends until the incest map. A heartbreak high x reader. 
Part 1:
Part 2:
"You sure you’ll be good? You can stay over for longer if you want,” (Y/n) says to Darren as they step out of her car and peer in through the window.
“Yeah, thanks for letting me stay, and dropping me to work.”
“Yea, no worries, see you after your shift?” (Y/n) asks, to which Darren nods. She drives off heading to Harper’s aunt’s place to hang out.
“Hey Harp” (Y/n) says with a smile entering the house. She notices a younger kid next to Harper, her little cousin, they had met a couple of times. “Hey, little star!” (Y/n) raises her hand out for a high five which the kid gladly returns.
“Did you get it?” The kid asks excitedly.
(Y/n) hums and reaches into her bag to pull out some sweets, “Don't eat them all at once your mom will get mad at me if I spoil your appetite..” She tries to warn but the kid already has taken off running to her room with the bag of junk food. “..Just so you know I'm still mad at the fish thing…” (Y/n) states.
“..I got you your favorite snacks as an ‘im sorry’ gift,” Harper says holding out the small bag of treats.
“…Okay, maybe I'm a little less upset.”
Harper laughs and pulls the girl inside the home, wrapping an arm around her neck. They head to the guest room and laze around, talking, and watching a movie together. They lay in bed watching a random film on (Y/n)’s laptop. (Y/n) feels her phone buzz and looks at it to see a notification of a message from Darren, opening it to find an image of Amerie in butchered bangs. She looks up at Harper who’s focused on the movie. She texts 'Oh my god.’ to Darren and shuts her phone, snuggling closer to the blond girl, who doesn't mind. A few minutes later she gets another text from Darren which says ‘Fixed Dora’s haircut.’ With a photo of the new hair and Amerie in a trolly, a place familiar. (Y/n) furrows her brows, sitting up a bit and texting quickly. ‘You're at the roof? I thought you wanted me to pick you up?’ She pauses to read the response. ’Yeah sorry, I asked Quinni, we’re at the roof now. We’re actually going to head to the cemetery for the party,’ ‘What..’ (Y/n) types out but then delete and replace it with an ‘oh.’ She can't really blame them, she never told the two she was close friends with Amerie before she became a Dusty-obsessed mean girl. They only knew about Harper and that she and Harp had a falling out but, now are on better terms. ‘You should come, please? It wouldn't be the same.’ (Y/n) pauses at the message. 'PLEASE COME!!1!’ Another message says. ’That was Quinni, but yes’ (Y/n) smiles a little at the text before responding with ‘okay.’
“Hey Harp, you're going to the cemetery thing yeah?”
“Yeah, why?” Harper looks over at the (h/c) hair girl.
“I wanna come.” Harper looks at her with surprise.
“Really? You never wanted to go before, but alright, if you’re sure,” She says with a smile.
At the cemetery, most teens carry a drink or smoke enjoying themselves. (Y/n) sticks close to Harper as the girl talks with Missy and Sasha, not drinking any alcohol. She looks around waiting for Darren and Quinni. “Hey, you good?” Harper asks.
“Oh, yeah, Darren said that they and Quinni were coming, I'm just keeping an eye out.” (Y/n) explains.
“Ah,” Harper nods understanding. (Y/n) notices Harper is almost done with her drink.
“Want me to get you another?” (Y/n) asks not wanting to stand around silently or awkwardly as Sasha, Missy, and Harper talk.
“If you're okay with it, sure,” Harper says noticing the fact (Y/n) was silent throughout the whole party. The (h/c) haired girl nods humming and walks to the drinks to find an unopened and untampered bottle. As she searches the cooler she notices someone standing next to her, she looks up to see the new kid.
“Hey,” He starts.
“Hi..” She responds going back to her search for the drink.
“Looking for that?” He points out a bottle that seems to be unopened.
“Oh, yeah.. Thanks,” She grabs the bottle, checking it once more.
“I'm Malakai.” He reaches out his hand.
She stands up before reaching her own hand out, “(Y/n).”
“You don’t seem like someone who comes here often,”
(Y/n) raises a brow “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, no I didn't mean, it's just you seem uncomfortable around here…” Malakai tries to explain.
“… it's actually my first time at something like this.” (Y/n) admits.
“Hey, me too.” He smiles.
“Right.” She pauses, not used to talking to a lot of new people, or comfortable talking to someone she doesn't already know.
“Can I offer you a drink?”
“I don't drink.” (Y/n) declines.
“Oh, okay that’s cool.”Malakai is about to say something else when (Y/n) excuses herself.
“I have to get this to my friend,” She points in Harper’s general direction.
“Oh, uh, sure, see you around?” He asks hopefully.
(Y/n) hums but leaves immediately as soon as she gets the chance to run back to her friend’s side.
“Hey, saw you talking to the new kid,” Harper teases a bit taking the drink (Y/n) brought her.
“Hm? Oh yeah.” (Y/n) moves on by not speaking of the topic anymore.
“Well, he seemed like he wanted to talk to you, actually he still seems like he wants to talk to you,” Harper points out, (Y/n) glances at the direction of where the coolers were, and Malakai is looking at the girl and her friend. (Y/n) looks away and awkwardly shrugs. It only took another minute before sundown when Darren, Quinni, and Amerie arrive. (Y/n) spots her friends and is about to say hi, but stops when she sees Amerie. She taps Harper to let her know, who had arrived. Harper looks over and sees the group, and nods in acknowledgment. Quinni finding (Y/n) smiles and waves, which the girl returns back. Amerie on the other hand spotting her old friends wants to turn back. Malakai walks up to Amerie holding out a beer.
"Hey, cunt. My actual name's Malakai, by the way.”
“Amerie.” The girl introduces herself. (Y/n) notices the interaction and looks away focusing on her friends Darren and Quinni. Smiling, she is about to walk up to them but, Malakai seemingly wanting to cheer Amerie up, starts dancing which makes Quinni pull Amerie to the dance floor and begin dancing with her and Darren. (Y/n)’s smile falters a little, pulling back she moves away from the middle of the dance floor back to the sides. Once Amerie seems to be done having her fun with Malakai; Darren and Quinni catch up with (Y/n) and they talk about Quinni’s plan to confront Spider about the rumor and Darren’s encounter with Cash earlier that day.
“Oh really? That's so cool Quinni, it'll be hilarious!” (Y/n) hypes up her friend, encouraging her.
“Oh! I should tell Amreie too,” Quinni walks off with a smile leaving (Y/n) on her own as Darren had left to get a drink. She looks around shuffling before deciding to look for Harper. While searching she bumps into someone.
“Oh, sorry,”
“Oh hey, it's you.” Malakai smiles once more after stabilizing the both of them.
“Oh, uh, yup.” (Y/n) nods turning away.
“Hey, could I ask you something?”
“Hm?”
“Do you not like me or are you just shy?”
“..What?”
“I dunno, you just seem to avoid me, or people in general.”
“..Well, I don't exactly know you enough to not like you.”
“You could, get to know me that is. I would like to get to know you,” He says with a smile.
Oh. Well, this was… different. Not a bad thing, maybe, but strange indeed. “Oh, uh—“ (Y/n) was cut off and a bit distracted when she saw Quinni walking towards Spider to confront him about the 'Lazy kebab' rumor. Malakai glances at what caught the girl’s attention.
"Hey, Spider.” Quinni hands the guy a large blue folder, full of diagrams and images. Spider skims through with wide eyes, and makes a face.
"Yuck! What is this shit?"
"Oh. You don't like vaginas?” Quinni asks, seemingly genuine.
"No, I like vaginas.” Spider corrects her, thinking that the girl is implying something else.
Well, you clearly don't know much about them because if you have a look here…See most vaginas have very pronounced flaps, or labia, and some of them are even lopsided, where I'm assuming you got "Lazy Kebab" from, but it's very, very, normal. You wouldn't know, it's not taught in public schools much. Which is actually very— “ Quinni rambles as she points at the diagrams and pictures. People begin to notice the commotion and Spider’s reactions.
“I've seen heaps of vaginas. Thanks.” Spider says harshly shoving the folder back to the girl.
“Okay. I just assumed, on account of the fact that you were lying about seeing mine, that you were lying about seeing others too.” Quinni says calmly in her usual tone, directly insulting him and discrediting him in one sentence. The kids around snicker and laugh. (Y/n) watches with a proud smile.
"Look, of course, we didn't have sex. Why would I root a fucknut like you?” Spider retorts angrily walking away. A girl, Sasha comes up to compliment Quinni.
“That's your friend right?” Malakai asks (y/n) noticing her smile.
“Yes,"
"she’s amazing,”
“She is,” (Y/n) beams,
“You have a pretty smile,”
That makes (Y/n) pause and nervous. She was never really the best at these things. There is a reason why she was labeled as 'Fish' on the map. She turns her head away chuckling nervously, not sure how to respond. But like a knight in shining armour, Harper links her arm to hers.
“Hey, I needed to take a piss, come with me?” Harper says not paying attention to the boy. Until she notices the fidgety and shy look on her friend’s face and grins. “Am I interrupting?”
“No! I’ll come with you, bye Malakai.” (Y/n) says dragging the blond away who chuckles at her. Malakai stands where he was left with a smile watching the girls walk away.
“So, Malakai is it? Does little (Y/n) have a crush?” Harper teases.
“Why does everyone keep saying that? It's nothing, he’s just being friendly.”
“Yeah, I'm sure he’s being friendly… the ‘you have a pretty smile’ friendly.” Harper says mocking the conversation she heard earlier as she squats near the graves to pee.
“You hear that?!” (Y/n) turns to face away letting the girl piss in peace, but also a little embarrassed.
“Come on it's cute!”
“Shush— Oh shit.“
“What?”
“..Amerie.” (Y/n) says as if warning the other girl. The brown girl walks towards them both staring directly at Harper as she pees.
"Oi, can we talk?” Amerie says, eyeing (Y/n) who doesn't say anything but stays close to Harper, like a guard dog.
"Jesus. Let me finish.” Harper huffs. She pauses and continues, "Just talk until I can get going again."
"Why don't you want to be friends anymore? After everything, Harp? It's killing me. I just want to fix it. Please tell me how to fix it.”
"What happened to your hair?” Harper changes the subject.
"I cut it."
“Yourself?” Harper raises a brow.
"Yes,” Amerie says confidently, making (Y/n) scoff, Darren did her hair. Why lie?
Harper chuckles, pulling up her pants and buttoning them. "I told you not to watch those YouTube tutorials. You never listen."
"And you never talk. What happened? We were fine up until the festival.” Amerie says desperately wanting to get closer, only to have (Y/n) step in a bit, protectively. "I went to your house and you weren’t—“
“Why did you go to my house?"
"You weren't talking to me—“
"So you stalked my house and harassed my dad?"
"I didn't harass your dad,” Amerie says lightly.
"That is such the typical psycho thing for you to do."
"You're the psycho. You ruined my life."
"Ruined your life? All this sh*t, Amerie, the map, your stupid fucking crush on Dusty, do you not understand how unimportant it all is? You're a child.” Harper snaps.
"That's not a reason to dump me. What's happened to you? Harper. I just want to move on.” Amerie says softly.
"And I don't want you in my life anymore,” Harper says harshly, tugging (Y/n) along with her.
“Since when did you replace me with (Y/n),” Amerie retorts in a last-ditch effort.
“I didn’t do shit. Unlike you, she’s actually my friend.” Harper defends (Y/n) while hurting Amerie in the process. Harper and (Y/n) walk away from the brown girl. (Y/n) notices the girl shaking and holding her hand gently squeezing back and letting Harper catch her breath and calm down.
“..Thanks, Harper.. you didn’t have to,”
“i did. You have always been there for me. The least I can do is be there for you too,” Harper says focusing on the way (Y/n)’s thumb rubs over her still-cracked knuckles. The two head back to the party, hand in hand.
@inkpot-winters
@juhdoche
@minnipe
thank you for waiting, sorry for any grammar mistakes and a short chap. <3
401 notes · View notes
callsign-dexter · 6 months ago
Text
Coach Bradford
Summary: Tim, your father, agrees to coach your softball team along with Lucy.
Pairings: Tim Bradford x Daughter!Reader
Warnings: fluff, angst, Tim being Tim, swearing, injury, blood, hospital
Masterlist
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Summer was officially here and that meant that travel softball was starting. You loved softball. You've loved it ever since you could remember. You had played it for most of your life starting from t-ball all the way up to fast pitch. You were the best player on the team. You could pitch, hit, catch, be infield and be outfield. You were just in elementary school ending 5th grade and already so good. Maybe it was because your dad, Tim Bradford, was a baseball lover and a hard ass when it came to practicing but he was only doing to help you. He would never push you too hard to the point of physical hurting yourself.
Playing softball took your mind off your mother not being there. She had left when you were young but you were old enough to understand what was going on. You threw yourself into softball which you just grown to love and it became one of your favorite hobbies.
You loved your team and your coach and coach assistants. You also loved that your dad, his girlfriend, Lucy Chen, and the rest of the group, John Nolan and Bailey Nune, Wesely Evers and Angela Lopez, Nyla Harper and James Murray, Celina Juarez, Aaron Thorson, and Wade Grey and Luna Grey, showed up to your games whenever possible.
Currently, your coach had to step away for a family emergency. The assistant coach was out sick, and the other coach was sick along with his wife, who was the assistant coach, but their kid was fine and staying with another friend. That meant a parent needed to step in. You being you volunteered your father and to say he was surprised but he would do it for you anyway.
You had just come to the station after practice still in your softball gear. You had been dropped off by your friend's parents. You walked into the station and greeted the front desk and they smiled and greeted back and let you go. As you were walking you ran into the first person you liked to play practical jokes on, Quigley Smitty. "Hello, Smitty." You said sweetly knowing it would unnerve him.
"Hello Mini Bradford." He said
"How are you?" You asked and he eyed you suspiciously.
"Fine." He said and you smiled.
"That's good. I'll see you around." You said and winked at him and walked off. He shivered you had played some pranks on him that made him scared of you. As you were walking further into the station you saw your dad. "Hey, Dad!" You said enthusiastically and he turned around and smiled.
"Hey, Sweetheart. How was practice?" He asked
"It was good. Coach had to tend to a family emergency and the assistant coach is out sick along with his wife." You said and he nodded. He knew the coaches and knew they wouldn't miss anything unless absolutely necessary.
"So who is going to be coaching you?" He asked as Lucy came up along with Angela and Harper.
"Oh you are." You said just so casually.
"Wait what?" He asked surprised.
"Yea they needed someone and I volunteered you." You said and the three girls snickered.
"What?" He asked turning to them.
"Oh it's nothing really but I can't see you coaching." Lucy said trying not to laugh.
"Well get used to it because you're helping him." You said smirking and her laughing stopped.
"What? Seriously?" She asked and you nodded and now it was his turn to laugh. "You know what? I would love to teach your team with you." Lucy said and you smiled.
"Thank you." You said
"Sweetheart, you know I would love coach too. You just took me by surprise." He said and you nodded.
"I know but none of the other parents know what they're doing but I knew you did. So, I volunteered you." You said now feeling guilty for now talking it over with him but they needed a decision right then and there. "I'm sorry for not talking to you about it. They needed someone right then and there." You said and everyone's heart broke.
"It's ok really. Lucy and I would love to coach you. It's not a problem." Your dad said and Lucy nodded.
"He's right. We would love to do anything for you." Lucy said and you looked at the two of them.
"Really?" You asked and they nodded.
"Although Tim may be a hard ass he would do anything for you, Y/N." Angela said
"She's right. When is next practice?" He asked
"Tomorrow at 8 AM. We don't stop until 3 PM." You said and they nodded.
"Perfect. Now go into Grey's office and wait until the shift is over." Your dad said and you nodded and headed off that way.
"You coaching? I would love to see this." Harper said smirking.
"I love coaching. You'll see it her next game." He said and then walked off. Lucy stayed behind and was about to say something but Tim's voice sounded "Chen!" He yelled.
"Uh yup! I'm coming!" She yelled back and took off after him.
"This is going to be interesting." Angela said
"You know it." Harper said and they walked off together talking about their recent case.
---------------------------------------------------
The next morning bright and early you were at the field with your team and Lucy. Everyone was on the field and they gathered around your dad and Lucy. "So what do you all do first?" Lucy asked.
"We usually stretch and then some of us start with some passing. The rest usually go with batting along and then some pitching and catching." Millie, your friend and main catcher, said your dad and Lucy nodded.
"Alright, we'll start with that. How many goes where usually?" Lucy asked before he could even though he knew the answer.
"Usually we have three groups of three practicing. 3 passing, 3 batting, and 3 pitching and catching." Samantha said and again they nodded.
"Alright get to stretching. We're going to need a third person." Your dad said and everyone scattered.
"Ok." Lucy thought "What about Harper and Angela?" She asked and Tim laughed.
"Yeah, that's a no-go." Tim said
"Nolan?" She asked
"He would be too nice to say no. Give him a call." Tim said and Lucy nodded and headed off to call him as Tim started to instruct on exercises.
6 minutes later Nolan was rolling up to the field with his fiancée Bailey Nune. You loved them both and were so happy to have them here. Tim gave him the run down and practice was started. Tim had tried not to be a hard ass because that's how his father was but he was organized and your team was really good. He wasn't surprised and neither was Lucy, Nolan, or Bailey because they had seen your team play and man were you guys good. You were only 5th graders and already good your goal was to play throughout middle school and high school.
Now that there was an extra person to help real practice began. You, Millie, and Samantha went with Tim to start practicing passing. Three went with Lucy to start batting. The last three went with Bailey and Nolan to start pitching and catching. Once the amount of time your dad thought was needed for each was up the groups switched. Breaks were given in between if needed.
Practice went really well. Some parents showed up and some had to work so they got a ride with a friend. Tim was afraid that he was going to need to be a hard ass but it turned out that was not the case and he knew that deep down but he was still afraid. "Alright girls! Bring it in!" Your dad yelled and everyone came in. "For the last few minutes of practice we're gonna run some plays. I'll be batting and Y/N will be pitching. Then we'll be switching it up and I will be hitting the ball to certain parts of the field." He added and everyone nodded.
"Got it!" Everyone said and you all were heading to your positions. Lucy, Bailey, and Nolan all stood to the side and the drill started. You started to pitch and some of them he could hit and others he couldn't and he was proud of that. After a few minutes of that it was time for him to hit the ball to different positions.
"Outfield!" He yelled and hit the ball and it went to the outfield and Amy got it threw it into Millie and it was a hard and fast throw and Lucy was impressed. "Good work!" Your dad yelled out and you smiled. "Alright infield!" He yelled and hit it directly at you and you got it then you passed it to, Christine, first base and then she passed it to Jennifer, third base, and then she finally passed it to Elizabeth, second base. Then the ball was passed back to you. That drill was practiced a few more times and different ways and then practice was over. Everyone huddled in.
"Great work guys. I'm impressed." Lucy said and everyone smiled.
"Thank you." Everyone said
"Next game is when?" Nolan asked
"Friday. Noon. Here." You replied and he nodded. More information was given and then everyone was breaking for the end of practice. You couldn't wait for the next game. The team you were going up against was at the same level your team was and it made you nervous but you had faith in your team and knew everything was going to be great.
On the ride home your father had stopped at your favorite place to eat and got you lunch/supper and then you both were headed home. "You did great. Everyone did great." He said and you smiled.
"Thank you that means so much to me and us. We work hard and we love the game." You said as he pulled into the driveway.
"That's what makes the game fun. I know it is a way for you to cope from when your mom left and I'm sorry for that." He said as he killed the engine and you shook your head.
"It's not your fault she loved being undercover more than her family. You don't think she'll show up do you?" You asked
"Do you want her to?" He questioned
"Would it be bad if I said not really?" You asked and he shook his head and smiled at you sympathetically.
"No, Sweetheart. Not at all." He said and you nodded "Lets go and eat and then spend the evening together binge watching our favorite show together." He added and you nodded and hugged him.
"Thank you, Dad." You said and he smiled.
"Anytime, Sweetheart." He said and kissed you sweaty head. "On second thought maybe you should take a shower after you eat. You're gross." He said and you slightly hit him.
"Rude." You said and he laughed.
"I was just joking. Seriously though you need to take a shower before after we eat." He said and you chuckled.
"I know." You said and the both of you went inside and ate. You then took a shower and then spent the evening together watching your favorite show together.
---------------------------------------------------
Friday came around and it was game day and you were nervous and felt that something was going to go wrong. You didn't want to bring this up to your dad because he had a lot going on right now and you knew that he would overreact. So you put on a brave face and got ready to go to the field.
When you got to the field some of your teammates were already there. Once you got there the rest of the team arrived along with Lucy, Nolan, and Bailey. Your dad had you guys practice some. Once he thought you all had enough it was time to rest and get ready to play. As you were resting and talking with your teammates you saw Grey, Luna, Angela, Wesley, Harper, James, Celina, and Aaron show up and you smiled and waved when they saw you. Your dad, Lucy, Nolan, and Bailey saw them too and they walked over. Everyone greeted each other and chit chatted and then it was time for the two teams to take the field. First up to pitch was your team.
You pitched and struck most of them out and the ones that got a hit were caught or tagged out. That feeling of something going wrong was pushed to the back of your mind and you were focused on the game. There had been a few close calls but you either ducked in time or caught the ball. You caught the ball in some fancy ways and everyone was impressed.
You had just pitched the ball and the other team hit it. The ball came back at you and you got it backhanded and then threw it. There was a player on first and when you pitched the second pitch they started to run the ball came to you and you caught it high and spun around and threw it to Christine, everyone cheered and you smiled. The third pitch was contacted with the bat and once again came to you and it was low so you dived for it and caught it and while still on the ground you threw it to Christine making sure the batter was out. That was three outs and it was your team's turn to bat. Your dad had been supportive and loving all the plays that were happening. As you headed to the dugout to change out gear and grab your bat. "Damn Tim you got yourself a real star there." Wesley said and that made him smile.
"I sure do." He replied
"I have to admit that you're really good at coaching." Harper said admitting defeat.
"He is amazing. I think he should keep coaching when he can." Lucy said and your dad laughed.
"This is a one time deal. I would rather be on the other side of the fence." He said
"Oh come on. You have to admit this is a little fun." Nolan said as he tended to the team with water bottles and words of encouragement.
"It is really fun." Bailey said
"Yes it is fun but I know that I'll just push it to far one time. I don't feel like ruining that relationship with Y/N/N.
"That's understandable." Grey said and Luna nodded and hugged his side.
"I have a bad feeling that something is going to happen." Celina said
"Everything is going to be fine." Aaron said but she was still apprehensive about it.
"I'm sure they wouldn't put these kids in danger. Right, Tim?" Angela asked
"That's right their priority and safety comes first but accidents do happen." He replied
"They're doing great." James said and your dad smiled.
"That they are." He said and then it was time to get back to the game. The other team may be good but your team was better. Each pitch was hit and runners were on base. Before you knew it the game was 4-0 with your team leading. It was your time to bat and you were nervous but you had to do this for your team. You took a few practice swings and could hear the parents and the others cheering you on. The ball was pitched and you swung, your bat made contact with the ball and it was out of the park giving you a homerun and sending the player on base home. The score was now 6-0 with your team leading.
Finally it was your turn to pitch again and the game was coming to a close. You threw a few warm-up pitches and then it was game on. The first few pitches were good and nothing had happened but that feeling something bad was going to happen came back. You threw the pitch and the other player hit the ball and it was a line drive to you and you tried to catch it but it hit you in the face and took you down. The crowd made a noise of hurt. You were grabbed the ball and threw it to Christine even though you were in pain. Then you were collapsing in pain and was close to blacking out and as your dad arrived with the others and the other coaches you were out cold and not moving. Bailey jumped into action. "Y/N can you hear me?" She asked but got no response.
"Y/N. Sweetheart." Your dad said but again no response.
"Call 911." Lucy said looking up at anyone.
"Already on it." Grey said as he had his phone to his ear. He walked slightly away and in a few seconds came back. "They'll be here in 2 minutes." He said.
"She's breathing and has a strong pulse." Bailey said but you still hadn't woken up and that sacred your dad. There was blood running down your face. "It looked like she got hit in the temple." She said and everyone nodded and agreed. "She was conscious enough to throw the ball so that is good." She said.
"I think she hit her head going down too. It would explain the blood." Angela said. The others had gone out to get direct the paramedics to you and they had just rolled in and onto the field. They assed you and Bailey gave them the run down and then they were loading you onto the gurney and taking you off the field and into the ambulance. The umpires called the game and your team ended up winning. Now it was a trip to the hospital. Tim rode with you while everyone stayed back to wrap things up and then they would be meeting you at the hospital.
---------------------------------------------------
They had taken you back fairly quickly leaving your dad in the waiting room. About 10 minutes later the others were joining him. "Any news?" Harper asked and your dad shook his head.
"No they took her back to run some tests but she hasn't woken up." He said
"Oh man. This sucks." Aaron said and everyone nodded.
"She's going to be ok." Grey said
"I agree. Have you seen who her dad is?" Lucy asked smiling and everyone chuckled.
"Thanks guys." He said
"Anytime." Angela said and just about that time your doctor came out.
"Bradford?" He asked and your dad was standing up and fast.
"That's me. I'm her father." He said and the doctor nodded.
"I'm Dr. Tango. You have one strong little girl. She's awake and just has a concussion. It seems like she passed out because that is how her body was dealing with the stress. I want to keep her overnight and check in on her in the morning. She's awake now and she can sleep but she'll need to be woken up every few hours and asked questions and monitored for any signs of change in how she looks or acts." Dr. Tango said and he nodded.
"Can we see her now?" Your dad asked and Dr. Tango nodded.
"I'll have a nurse lead you to her room." He said and he did just that. When they reached you, you looked so out of it but when you saw your dad you lit up.
"Daddy?" You asked and he smiled with tears in his eyes and he walked over to you.
"Hey, Sweetheart you scared us." He said
"I'm sorry." You said and he shook his head.
"Nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault. Accidents happen." He said
"I knew something bad was going to happen but didn't want to tell you." You said and he smiled and shook his head "What?" You asked.
"Celina had a feeling something was going to happen to." He said and you looked over at her.
"I knew I liked her." You said smiling and everyone chuckled and she came over and hugged you. "Thank you everyone." You added as she pulled away.
"For what?" Bailey asked
"For being there at the game and helping me." You said
"We would've done it even if you weren't playing. You're our everything." Angela said and you smiled.
The rest of the day/night in the hospital was filled with games, food, chit chat, sleep and yes being woken up every few hours and asked the most simplest questions it was annoying but you knew it was necessary. When it was time for everyone to go home it was just you and your dad. You yawned and he smiled. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you up when I need to." He said and you nodded and laid down. As you were drifting off to sleep your mind drifted at the love and support you had and that made you feel good inside and smile.
"Dad?" You asked and he looked up from his phone.
"Yes, Sweetheart?" He asked
"I love you." You said and he smiled and leaned up and kissed you forehead.
"I love you too." He said as you closed your eyes and leaned into him. Yeah you had a pretty good support system and you weren't letting them go any time soon. No matter what the world threw at you.
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kaermorhenatnight · 11 months ago
Text
Why I believe Zevlor should become a companion in act 2 instead of Halsin:
1. Halsin is a druid and in act 3 we get Jaheira - that way in a good playthrough we get two druids which is kinda pointless in my opinion from the mechanical standpoint
2. Minthara is supposed to be an evil-playthrough companion and Halsin a good-playthrough one (I know that now you can have them both, but that was the original idea) - it would make sense to have a good version paladin and a bad version paladin
3. It would be especially interesting considering Zevlor is an oathbreaker and Minthara is not - I like the twist of the "good" option being the oathbreaker
4. Halsin's story ends in act 2. When you defeat the shadow-curse his arch is over, there isn't much more to him (he just has some thoughts about how the city is not balanced). There isn't much there to explore after he fixed his "mistakes from the past". He's just there and after some time of not much conversation he's just "yeah, you wanna smash?"
5. Zevlor still has a lot to work through after his people got captured and killed and he didn't do anything - there's A LOT of material for development
6. (very subjective) Zevlor's story is much more interesting. Halsin is exactly who he seems to be. Obsessed with nature and balance, the most stereotypical druid you could imagine. You know, the whole "just as nature intended" thing. Zevlor is an idealist who fought for people of Elturel only to be betrayed by them when they won - casting him and other tieflings out. THAT was when he broke his oath, when they were cast out. How exactly? We don't know. It is said that it wasn't even the oath that was broken but his faith itself - there is so much to explore there! But all we get is a short conversation telling him he cannot give up and he's like oh shit, you're right and then he appears for the final battle
7. I think him and Jaheira would really vibe together. The mom and dad of the group - the cynical Harper who has a complicated relationship with that institution and an idealistic oathbreaker paladin who just wanted to protect his people but failed
8. LARIAN PLEASE LET ME FUCK THAT SWEET OLD MAN
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