#oh god i am terrible
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as an enjoyer of jjk i am embarrassed to have u all follow me and have my page be a MESS!!!! i will be learning how to code to change my theme and make it cute @_@ TRUST ME !!! okay that is all GOODBYE !!!
#i’ve had this app for 9 months now and i still suck#that’s enough time for a baby to be born#oh god i am terrible
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k fine since ur inbox is dead af like my mind rn, imma just say i'm a sucker for afab zhongli.
*insert walking emoji*
yes yes honey gimme the stuff.
Also there is no way you just used “sucker” in the sentence….. is that a pun intended?
My humor is fucking terrible
#.rizzsays#i cant even get horni bout this cause i laughed so hard#sucker for afab zhongli? more like sucking him#HAHAHHAH#oh god i am terrible
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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you
edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally
#dashboard#staff#tumblr update#comic#art#doodles#costco ceo about the price of a hot dog.png#i refuse to believe this is a real problem that site owners think people have#frankly i refuse to believe people had this issue with deviantart before eclipse#i am sorry you have to put about 15 minutes of effort into understanding a new website. feel better soon#my main blog doesn't have it yet but i logged into here to make this post and. i have it#this is fucking terrible. it would ahve been really really funny for april fools day but not as a permanent change#i hate it a Lot. i hate it so fucking much. oh . my god.#edit - guys i amnot actually sending de*th threats to staff it's the costco hot dog meme
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completed.
EDIT: this has now, as of this edit, reached over 2,000 notes. And I have started doing the things. My life is still far from perfect, but I genuinely do scroll through all the replies and reblogs and watch people get other people to help and reassure me and check on me and it makes me feel so much more loved than i normally do. i'm even going to bed earlier because you said i should. i love all of you so much, and i owe you 2,053 times. all my love, witch.
ORIGINAL POST:
ok here goes. i haven't taken enough care of myself recently. so here we go
if this reaches 100 notes i will start doing yoga again, to help with my anxiety COMPLETE (how you guys are insane)
if this reaches 200 notes i'll start studying more and putting in more effort COMPLETE (o my gosh)
if it reaches 500 i will actually try my best to exercise for the right reasons, instead of random bursts of self-hatred/body hatred COMPLETE (i posted this yesterday evening)
if this reaches 700 notes i will try my absolute best to fix my sleep schedule COMPLETE (ok this is insane)
if this reaches 1000 notes i will be more honest with my therapist COMPLETE (dammit you guys ilysm but this is gonna be hard)
if this reaches 2300 notes i will be more honest with myself about why i am turning to tumblr for this kind of thing and write a poem about it. (this one is a joke since i think 5000 is impossible, and i will write a poem for you guys anyway. i love you) (i’ve now changed this to a more reasonable goal - one really close to what i have now - because honestly i want you guys to succeed because the fact that people are still on this post is insane and it makes me smile.) AND COMPLETE! (i love every person who interacted with this post so much it isn’t even funny. all my gratitude and adoration, witch)
this ends at the beginning of may. you can spam i guess i have 35 followers it prob wont even reach 100. but go ahead, tumblr, do your thing. lol
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what. are they "rehearsing" for exactly what the fuck have i gotten myself into with this tour
#oh my god one more fear unlocked#i am deliberately not looking at the hand size whatever#dan and phil#dnp#phan#phil lester#amazingphil#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#danandphilgames#terrible influence tour
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BIRD SSR????????????
NOOOO I wasted all my keys on Platinum Malleus, HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO ME
(I do kinda love that this is officially "Raven Jacket" Crowley though) (does this open up the possibility of a selection of future Crowley fashion cards)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#eyestrain#(my knowledge of rave attire is very limited i am so sorry)#(to be fair i don't believe crowley knows anything about raving either)#(he's there in a misguided attempt to chaperone/make sure students don't do anything he might be legally liable for)#petition for an ssr of crowley's beach shorts and fedora#anyway i saw the banner and immediately assumed it was going to be another absolutely unhinged no-context episode 7 story card drop#and lost my MIND#and then i scrolled down and...oh it's an event whoops#alas another month without more main story#does this mean more staff cards in the future though? HEY TWST DOES THIS MEAN MORE STAFF CARDS 👀👀👀#are they going to have stories. do we get to see crowley try once again to convince the school board not to fire him. yes PLEASE#god i have NO keys what am i going to DO#i thought i had time to save for sebek's birthday!#but...but our terrible birddad...
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Robin Hood and Little John walkin' through the forest--
alright! so! early robin hood ballads and narratives don't have an origin story for little john, but a later ballad (robin hood and little john) does. they fight on a bridge in it, but I like looking at illustrations, so I've swapped out the bridge for that tree peaking out of the panel in the first panel bc I enjoy louis rhead's illustrations a lot.
this is some kind of introduction scene after they fight and climb out of the river!
Robin Hood & Little John (edited by Stephen Knight & Thomas Ohlgren)
#read something that compared robin hood and little john to gilgamesh and enkidu and oh my god. christ. fuck!!! okay then#robin hood#little john#outlaws in the woods tag#komiks tag#some other text was like 'ah yes robin hood was young and blond' i am choosing to ignore that. he's young and filipino and has dark hair#its my comic and nothing i do will be as objectively terrible as that fucking 2018 movie#or honestly a lot of the movies that decide they want to have an opinion on the crusade#'katabay why did you draw little john like cassius' tbqh i forgot how i was previously drawing john's hair#it'll happen again 😔 but maybe not. i want to draw robin hood more ngl.
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I didn't get pics I didn't get pics my phone was in the bedroom charging but FANCY IS PLAYING WITH THEM. Not next TO them but INITIATING PLAY WITH THEM.
Not bitchily, not reluctantly, not with a short temper, not tolerating THEIR advances, but making her OWN advances! Inviting them in!!!!!! Even the detested Junie!
CRYINGGGGGG.
#oh my god you guys if this persists i can stop worrying completely and the babies can STAY#we can have another little man again and another terrible girl!#and this house could feel like a home again#if Fancy is willing to tolerate them they can stay with us and be OURS#i don't know if y'all realize just how much i have been holding back#not on their care or training or how much affection i show them but in MY HEART#i said Jasper's name earlier and he came trotting over just to be petted#finally#FINALLY!#maybe this will work#please let this work PLEASE i am going to love him SO much#also Fancy baby we also got them for YOU as friends for YOU so you wouldn't be alone in your grief either in ways WE could never help heal#please LOVE THEM they are so ready to love you they look up to you so much#or Jasper does anyway#I think Junie is just a little beast who respects nothing and no-one#but Jasper has a sweet heart
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davepeta, karkat, and jade holding hands
im in a romantic mood so theyre kissing too
#oh dear god what the hell am i going to ship tag this#sorry if i flood a couple tags in advance#jadekat#davekat#katnep#davepetakat#davepetasprite#karkat#jade harley#dave strider#nepeta#hs#homestuck#ok this is what im calling the ship-> jadedavepetakat#fucked up and terrible. open to suggestions asjdkf#my art#art#asks!#i would be ok being known as the davepeta x karkat bitch#javepetakat
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Bucky Barnes | Rebellion Series | Caution
Part one of the Rebellion Series
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Plot: By some miracle, you get saved from the consequences of your own actions. You’re reluctant to join a supposedly good cause. What happens when the good cause is not so legal? And what - or who - is your soft spot?
Warnings: Angst, fluff (?) and mentions of sex.
Words: 34OO
You have started shaking again. With every tremble of your body, the restraints around your legs and arms seem to tighten and you shudder even more at the awful memory of that feeling. It took weeks for the shaking to stop. Weeks of being locked up into this modern dungeon until you were nothing but silence and numbness.
You knew the rebellion could end in death, knew the consequences would be catastrophic, but at least you’d stood for something, fought for something. And you would choose death any day over the endless silence of this prison. You know for a fact that you’re surrounded by an ocean, but no matter how hard you listen, you cannot hear the wild sea crash. Can only hear the low hum of the air being circulated through your metal cell.
And today, approximately three months after the start of your sentence in the most secured prison on the planet, you have started shaking again. It can hardly be because today of all days, your brain has decided to make you go completely insane. That would be too random. Which means–
Your head snaps to the window, spotting the other cells. Empty. This floor is reserved just for you alone. Because apparently you’re too dangerous to interact with anyone. They even got machines bringing you your daily sustenance. An empty floor like every other day, yet something seems different. Something’s off.
A metal door flies through the middle of the circular space connecting all of the cells and you stiffen. You look at the ground again, keeping completely still. Maybe they don’t know that you’re here. Oh God, oh God, oh God. No, they can’t get to you. Not again.
The destruction clangs through your body and you tremble violently, curling up as much as you can and staring hard at the floor. The cold metal ground blurs with images of the rebellion. The things you gave up, the energy your summoned and wasted, the people you lost. The blood, and pain, and screams and– and– and…
“She’s in there. Grab her and then we get out of here.”
“Steve, I–”
“And hurry up, we don’t have much time!”
Two combat boots step into your vision and the stomps echo in your head, booming you back to reality. But not quite. Your eyes vibrate with fear and you swallow the nails in your throat. Then a pair of knees appear in front of you and a black gloved hand reaches forward. It hesitates, then retreats. As if choosing not to touch you. Wise choice.
“Hey.” The voice is low. And smooth as liquor.
But you don’t look up, focusing on trying not to tremble more and taking the firm contraptions wrapped around your shins and forearms as the protection they now are. Maybe this is another nightmare. It’s different from the ones you usually have, but black gloves… They had black gloves, too. And those firm boots. They may have kicked you in the stomach with those boots once. You don’t remember.
“I’m here to get you out,” the voice speaks again and you can only listen to the tone of voice, the way it sends a shockwave through your body and lessens the violent trembles. “Look up for me.”
You ignore him and focus on your breathing.
“Is she coming?” That first voice. Impatient. Panting.
The male before you turns to the centre of the floor and gives a frustrated sigh, “She’s pretty out of it.”
Before waiting for the other man to respond, he turns back to you and studies you. Even though you don’t see him, his stare burns right through the flimsy clothes they put on you. He lets out a soft sigh and flips out a knife from the holster at his waist, still kneeling before you. You stiffen, preparing yourself for the sting at your throat as they finally decide to get rid of you, but he tries his best not to touch any bare skin as he saws through the materials binding you together.
The relief of pressure from your skin make you feel so uneasy, you nearly throw up, but a gentle hand covers your arm and you finally look up. Warm, dark blue eyes connect with yours. Below heavy brows and above the faintest cluster of freckles. His mouth is soft and pillowy and his bone structure is otherworldly symmetrical.
“It’s okay,” he tells you gently and offers you a smile that you can tell doesn’t come to him naturally. “Can you walk?”
He pulls you to a stand with a firm, but comfortable grip and you instantly stumble on your feet at the weight suddenly put on them. One arm flies around your waist and hoists you into his side as he catches your fall.
“Okay, okay,” he grunts with a gentle laugh. “I got you. Let’s get the fuck out of here, alright?”
Your throat feels like sandpaper as you hobble along with the wall of a male dragging you along, “Who are you?”
He spares you a brief glance and smiles once more, following ‘Steve’ out of the building and onto an air craft that is way too loud. “Bucky. We’re here to help you. Or I suppose you’re here to help us, little rebel.”
…
Steve gives Bucky a knowing glare, only breaking it by daring a glance at your bedroom door which you have been effectively hiding behind for weeks now. “You know I can’t go in there, Bucky.”
“You know I won’t let you,” Bucky answers drily with a shrug. As opposed to his best friend, Bucky hasn’t stopped staring at your door.
“You’re not even hiding your possessiveness when it comes to her,” Steve breathes through a laugh. That makes Bucky finally look at his friend.
“I’m not possessive,” he says matter-of-factly. He’s not even offended, just practical. “I’m protective. The last thing she needs is all of the nosy people in this tower swirling around her when she doesn’t trust a single soul.”
“Has she started to trust you?”
Bucky has to keep from wincing at Steve’s question, and he clears his throat. “Sure,” he lies.
If Steve caught the lie, he didn’t let on. It was as much of a dismissal as he was going to get. After watching his best friend walk off to do captain things, Bucky braces himself to step into your room. He has no hope that his interaction with you will be any different than the previous ones.
“Another day of convincing me to be your weapon?” you nearly snarl when he walks into your room.
If Bucky is entirely honest, he thought you would have turned into this damaged girl that would morph into a wild animal as you worked through what had been done to you. He didn’t really expect this perseverance and defiance from the woman he saved from that prison. But he supposes he should have seen that question coming. It wasn’t his best work; starting that day he saved you with all of the things you could be doing for them. Why they had saved you. Simply for their own gain. Or that is how you understood it, at least…
He has never been good with words. That has always been Steve’s thing. Bucky was reliable physically and he paid attention. He never had to use many words to make his point. Yet you keep asking these questions – rhetorical, he thinks – and you keep giving him this penetrating stare until he answers. Which is a sure way to make him fuck up, because how do people do that? Bring sensible thoughts into words and make it make sense?
Especially when the woman asking said questions is so damned… pretty.
“It’s time for you to get out of this room,” he tells you plainly. It seems the tactic of ignoring your questions is effective. It only took him six days to figure that one out.
He strides over to cross the room, not sparing you another glance in your chair in the corner, and rips open the curtains. The cat-like hiss coming from you has Bucky nearly biting back a smile. He turns and watches you stand from your chair, stalking over to him with your chin high and a scowl on your face. He raises an eyebrow with amused intrigue.
“And what, exactly, will I be doing outside of my room?” you ask.
He dips down slightly, but you keep the proximity. “Whatever you want. I don’t care.”
“If you don’t care, why hunt me out of my room?”
He shrugs, “Captain’s orders.” He isn’t entirely lying.
“Why isn’t the captain telling me himself?”
Bucky smirks and leans even closer, making you feel his minty breath fan over your face. “Because I’m the only one who isn’t scared of you.”
You snort at that and roll your eyes before breaking away from him. “I’ll get dressed.”
Bucky tries his hardest not to look too stunned as you retreat into the bathroom. A deep sigh leaves his lips as he paces through your room in wait for you to get ready. It takes a whole lot of effort to muster a smirk when it comes to his interactions with you.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” he asks quietly.
Just as quietly, the house responds, “Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”
“Has she asked for anything from you? To contact friends or family, or other information?”
“No, she hasn’t.”
“Does she have anyone left?” he tries, chewing his lip as he dreads the answer.
“Not that we’re aware. Mr. Stark had me run a background check, but she seems alone. No sign of anyone missing or deceased. No sign of a network at all.”
Bucky doesn’t know why that feels worse in his chest and he swallows. “Alright, thank you.”
A few moments later, you step out of the shower and find Bucky lounging in the chair he found you in, leafing through one of your books. Just as you’re about to check whether he has gotten his hands on one of your smuttier books, your eyes snag on the clothes laid out for you on the bed.
You pause long enough to make Bucky look up from the book. “Did you… Did you seriously pick out this underwear for me?”
Bucky eyes the lace panties dangling from your fingers and shrugs with a smirk. A smirk had never looked so enticing, but you sharpen your stare on him. “Do you prefer the grey, cotton ones in the back of the closet?”
You grit your teeth and scowl at him again, before morphing your mouth into a vindictive smile. “Why? Don’t you?”
His eyes dance at that. “Wouldn’t make a difference to me.”
And it’s the way he said it, with so much casual amusement and… promise. Heat rises to your face and you duck your head down. Snatching the clothes from the bed, you retreat back into the bathroom to get dressed.
…
The rest of your conversations had been purely functional as Bucky lead you down into the building where Steve was waiting. Bucky rolled his eyes at his friend’s horrible attempt at hiding his surprise. Steve hadn’t seen you since the day they came to save you, he must have never expected Bucky to be successful in his retrieval.
Bucky also hadn’t missed the meaningful look Steve then gave him that indicated he tucked away some valuable information. The information being that if they ever needed to get you to do something, Bucky is the way to get you to do it. Why? Steve seemed to have his theories and Bucky didn’t like it one bit.
However, for now he doesn’t care. Instead, he sticks by you after you reluctantly agreed to join Steve on a walk.
Strolling down the path through the surrounding woods, Bucky catches himself bracing for a fight every time Steve gets a little too close to you. He doesn’t like it. The last time he was this sensitive to proximity, he had just ran from Hydra. He’s seen other traumatised people before, but this feels different. And instead of listening to your and Steve’s conversation, he tries to figure out what it is. He supposes it’s because you have no survival instinct. In the few videos he’s seen of your rebellion and the encounters he has had with you the past weeks, you see danger or conflict and run straight toward it. Nothing scared or cautious about you. It sets his nerves on edge.
Bucky is well aware of what Steve is telling you and he has to refrain from rolling his eyes at the careful way Steve tries to coax you into their plan, when earlier that week they had not been nearly as careful as they calculated how to get you involved. But even Bucky had to admit that they needed you – specifically, everyone who would follow you into the grave. When Stark had shown him the videos, he was perplexed as to how you got such a huge following when what you fought for was so terribly dangerous. But one look at those sharp eyes and one deep command from you, and Bucky had seen it. That unwavering will and that brilliant brain that was always calculating. Steve could learn a few tricks from you on being a strong leader. And considering Bucky wildly admires his old friend, that is saying something.
They need you. Bucky knows it, too. They need not just someone with great leadership skills and a loyal following, but someone that does it out of empathy for the people mistreated by the system. Because that is who they’re going to be fighting – the system.
Again.
…
“You haven’t said anything about what Steve told you,” Bucky says on your walk back to your room. The offer to escort you back to your room hadn’t been entirely selfless.
“I need to think about it,” you murmur, deep in thought.
Bucky suppresses his sigh of sympathy. They are asking you to join a cause you were so passionate about, and that after failing so miserably last time. He can barely imagine the things you must have witnessed and endured with your last upraise. How you had gotten so influential that the government decided to treat you like you were a super-human and punished you accordingly. You had been put in the same prison as Wanda. Wanda. That is how powerful you were.
“It can’t be easy to revisit everything after all that’s happened,” he resigns and you blink from your thoughts to raise your eyes to his face. You study him and it takes all of Bucky’s might not to shift under your assessing gaze.
Then you speak up, “I’ve always done the right thing. Steve knows I can’t walk away from it…”
Bucky smiles at that. “Just like him.”
Your eyes narrow at that comment, but Bucky finds no venom in the look. You continue, “Sacrificing my life for the cause was never an issue. But to lead others into that same fate again?” The guilt had eaten you alive. All those people that had gotten arrested, split up from loved ones, hurt– worse…
Bucky interrupts your thoughts before they get a hold on you by clearing his throat. “Tonight, we have dinner with everyone. You’re welcome to join if you’d like.” Your heavy stare on him makes him quickly add, “Don’t give me that look. There will be no talk of overthrowing the government. Just dress fancy.”
The snort of a laugh that comes from you feels lighter to Bucky than he’d like to admit. And to ease the tension, he forces another smirk to his face. You narrow your eyes again warily, “What.”
He shrugs, turning to leave you alone at your door. Then he winks. “Let me know if you need me to pick out some underwear for you.” And then he’s gone.
Bucky hangs onto that cockiness all the way until dinner, where the entire group has showed up. Even Thor said he’d show up for a drink. Barton flew in from his family home to join the group as well. He remembers a time when he’d felt more than uncomfortable around this group of people. But so much has changed. They all saw him as a great asset to the team and even relied on him more and more to supervise the missions. He’s at home with them now. Heart swelling with affection, he listens to his friends – his family – laugh in the kitchen while they pour the drinks.
And then all of their faces turn into one direction, some of them pulling taut, few of them giving warm, comforting smiles. Bucky follows their gaze and it is like someone punched him in the gut, air whooshing out of his body. He doesn’t really know why – other than the obvious fact that you look ravishing of course. But he looks at you and clears his throat to welcome you to the group.
Natasha beats him to it though and it has Bucky’s hackles rising. She shoots him a knowing smile and then he backs off. His pride wounded like a cat booped on the nose. Natasha is good at it, charming people until they feel comfortable. Or take their pants off. But there’s an easy smile on your face – one Bucky knows is at least slightly forced – and you blend in with the crowd easily.
Suddenly, Sam’s at his side. “I know what you’re thinking,” he grumbles with his eyes on you and Natasha, followed by a swig of his beer bottle. “Those two together can only mean trouble.”
Bucky can only grunt in agreement.
…
“What on Earth are you talking about?” Natasha drawls with a guilty smile.
Barton shakes his head. “The poor schmuck didn’t stand a chance. There is no way you could have taken him if you hadn’t slept with him the night before.”
Natasha shrugs. “Look, a girl has her needs. He met them and the next day he met his fate.”
“Really, Nat?” Steve nearly cringes and Bucky reins in his laugh. “The guy’s moral compass was straight from hell and you decided to sleep with him?”
Natasha barely manages to open her mouth before you decide to pitch in, raising a glass to her. “I get it. Terrible morals do add a little spice in the bedroom.”
Nat clinks her glass with yours and mutters a ‘she gets it’, but Bucky’s eyes are searing through your skin. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised at such outrageous claims coming out of your mouth. There is nothing innocent about you. Good, yes. Innocent? No. Yet perhaps it isn’t ‘surprise’ that is warming his body from the inside out.
Conversation flows easily between the Avengers and the food Tony had made easily beats the Brooklyn comfort food Bucky usually seeks out. Cheeks turn rosy from the drinks, voices get louder, lights get dimmer. Bucky has to really look to be sure what he’s seeing. You, relaxed and happy. Such a stark contrast to the woman he found in the prison. No wonder you’re so good with people. People make you good.
He can barely manage his smirk however, when he notices the strain in your body to keep from looking at him. Why you are so adamant to avoid him, he can’t really tell. But this is now your weak spot, so he cannot help but tuck the info away for later.
The night carries on and everyone switches places, catching up on endless memories and adventures and being surprisingly considerate to include you in most conversations. Bucky ends up at the head of the table, you on the seat closest to him, both listening to Sam. You listen closely and Bucky can only assume you have some relief from being actively distracted from him. And being the arrogant bastard he knows he can be, he ‘accidentally’ brushes a knuckle over the back of your hand that’s resting on the table. He watches you stiffen and swallow, but like a true rebel, you show no other sign that it affected you.
A few more stunts like that had Bucky pressing his knee to your thigh under the table and it takes everything not to pull away from it. So you gaslight yourself to let the touch ground you. To absorb his warmth and relax even more into the touch. And if you guess it correctly, the way you respond to Bucky’s touch is not what he expected… So you find yourself having the upper hand again.
And if you’re going to join these people in their cause, what’s a little game with your menace of a saviour?
#oh my fucking god#im doing it#im posting a slow burn#with buckys pov for crying out loud#i am terribly sorry for being gone for so goddamn long im a busy woman#BUT quality over quantity amirite?#enjoy my lovelies and please let me know what you think#feedback does genuinely make me post quicker (i cant help it)#rebellion series#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#writing#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes oneshot#series
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So, you and white haired boys, huh?
Oh don't even get me sTARTED...
Somehow they just keep getting worse and worse EACH TIME, I DON'T KNOW H O W
#ASTARION TOPS THEM ALL THO LIKE OH MY GOD - NO ONE CAN REACH THAT LEVEL OF TRAUMA#And EVILNESS QUITE FRANKLY#The most twisted fcked up sassy asshat of them all#of SOUL YOU GUYS WEREN'T AWARE OF YET#THAT ONE IS O L D#Lil' teenage me's first anime crush LMAO#At least I am self-aware enough about my TENDENCIES TO FICTIONAL MEN#And I DO mean FICTIONAL#I WOULD NOT WANT THIS IN REAL LIFE#“I CAN FIX HIM” NO BICH YOU CANT!!!!!! YOU CAN'T FIX A SINGLE ONE OF THEM#IT'S ONLY FUN IN FICTION BECAUSE IT'S FICTION!!! YOU CAN FIX'EM ALL IN YOUR FIX-IT-FICS HOORAY!#With Astarion I am just here for the show#He is so terrible it's funny as heck#And when he ISN'T nasty Neils voice performance for vulnerable gentle Astarion??? Goes down like BUTTER#OH YEAH THAT'S THE GOOD SHIT#I'M HERE FOR THIS#mod#reply#soul evans#guzma#astarion
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having mrs suzuki thoughts again. specifically i always thought of her leaving as smth that she’d intended to be temporary. bc it was in direct response to toichirou saying that he Does have the power to control people, because he’s strong enough that he can just Make them do what he wants. and it was both an assertion of a boundary (“i will not tolerate this behavior. if you continue to act like this, i will remove myself from the situation”) and a direct response to toichirou’s stated belief (“oh yeah? control this, asshole”). and i think that her intention was to make him think about himself and what he was trying to accomplish and the consequences his actions have on himself and everyone around him, and that she’d originally intended to come back when he came to his senses. and COMPLETELY underestimated his total refusal to ever question or consider anything ever.
(btw i think shou’s murder attempt was if not the same, then at least a very similar principle. bc if it had really been about killing toichirou, he probably would’ve just “played the obedient son” and poisoned him or smth. but it wasn’t! it was about confronting him and trying to force him to understand and deal with the consequences of his actions, especially wrt the people who cared about him most! the message being communicated was “look! you’re going so dangerously overboard that even your son, who cares about you, who is still trying to reason with you, is willing to kill you if that’s what it takes to get you to stop!”) (and it just completely flies over toichirou’s head)
sorry for rambling but u know how it is with the suzukis
HI I FINALLY GOT TIME TO ANSWER THIS. I think you summed it up well though !!!
I definitely believe it was supposed to be temporary! It really plays out like a spur-of-the-moment thing, where she suddenly realizes Toichiro is not really who she Believed he was (<- she had a certain image of him in her head I think) and also that would not listen to her WORDS at all. So she had to do something impactful.
Their relationship was very important to them both, and I believe she expected her Absence to lead Toichiro to self-reflect and FINALLY push himself to change so they could KEEP it. But he sucks. And he was already so wound up in the power fantasy that he ignored anything he could not rationalize with it. You can't exactly make semi-divorce seem like a Super Epic Protagonist Battle.
She was making a point to him!!! Showing him that his idea of psychic power being absolute was WRONG because people have power over themselves (free will). Her leaving is like the physical culmination of everything she had been suggesting to him up until then (that he could change, if he CHOSE to).
She has a whole thing about free will. He was supposed to realize he does not, actually, have power over everyone. He ONLY has power over himself, just like everyone else. To think otherwise hurts himself and everyone around him because only focusing on power meant he didn't care about anything else. But yeah she totally overestimated his ability to Self Reflect and also Be Considerate. Aforementioned image she projected onto him, I think (not normal).
and that is where Shou gets it I BELIEVE!!!!!!! The thing with him is that. Like when you said his parents were his only examples and he kind of had to work with what he knew through them.
His philosophy (of kindness and free will and righteousness etc etc etc) was heavily based on what Mrs. Suzuki is shown to believe in, and this is what he based his opposition to Toichiro's ideals on.
Though, he also had to oppose his mom's Methods in favour of Toichiro's in this process. So he was kind of opposing them both while also Not at all doing that. Because he learned from them and was influenced by them. As per the themes. BUT ALSO with that its like. Nothing Shou did was ever really for himself or because of himself and it makes me. ggrhrgrge.
I forgot what else I was gonna say. Suzuki family drives me insane <3
#didnt read this over sooooo#anyway#mp100#asks#dgheh#toichiro and mrs suzuki are two wild fires who met ok#thinking about how i think their relationship functioned.... god#it sucks so terribly that i only have flashbacks and a few mentions to go off of#when discussing her.#because who knows how toichiro's perception of her influenced how she's portrayed in them. i think its a lot#she doesnt have a face in them on purpose. in the manga at least#OH EDIT#important note#part of her character is about Free Will and all right#but also it’s sad that Narratively shes still a woman whose choices are centred#around male characters. and she doesn’t have a lot of agency outside of that which is actually shown#I am under the impression she’s supposed to be a play on the Flashback Wife trope#but that’s not really subverted properly I guess? so she just kinda Is that mostly#UNFORTUNATE. I need her to be Real
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#백설공주에게 죽음을#black out#one walks in; there's a man on the bed in a provocative pose *googles the genres of bo... ah thriller*#good. good. now i can think according to it about the reasons#from sangcheol's worried annoyance at jeongwoo getting in troubles just as quickly as out of hospitals#to the tactics of getting information (from someone who's hurting and struggling) and having them safe while the time is running too fast#mind's busy... so body's talking#someone told so 👀#still funny; jeongwoo walking in seeing the mess on the floor - the traces of the attack that got him into a hospital#and then sangcheol's on the bed like that#you both terrible#or i am#because now i'm thinking about poses & positions#and it's no art/sports context#unless you want to add these to that#oh my god shut me up
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The first couple of meetings or so vs… idk like a couple weeks in
Sparknotes version below 💕
1) Bo shows up to Q’s home country bc his family decided he's the peace offering, still wearing his mask around
2) Bo decides he’s over it and if the Bells are gonna send him home and start the war anyway because they got the blemished child then that’s his family’s problem, not Bo’s
3) Q was prepared for Bo to be rightfully upset and angry when he got there. He figures it’s helpful that Bo can rant at him once or twice in a language Q doesn’t understand (yet), let him get some stuff off his chest. Q was not as much prepared for Bo to have such striking features under the mask and makeup
4) Bo’s plan to make sure Q dislikes him in return by showing off the birthmark his family hated backfires with a quickness
#q is like 90% sure he heard his dads name somewhere in those rants#but like what’s he gonna do. go snitch on Bo?#no. Bo’s probably right about whatever he’s saying anyway#bo (in beldan): how do you keep so chill when i am sat here basically yelling nonsense at you#q: (remains blissfully unaware and ungoaded)#bo: oh no are you actually not terrible. this is not good#god speed bo 🫡#my art#ocs#original character#oc art#west facing#quinton bell#bo church
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menendez brothers lookin ass fuckass haircut
#PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES IT#i NEED to know if dan knows bfdhjbdsahfb#i am being so incredibly fr i have thought this for a good couple weeks from videos of tit preshows#daniel howell#dan and phil#danisnotonfire#amazingphil#phil lester#menendez brothers#lyle menendez#erik menendez#but oh my god its insane#titspoilers#terrible influence tour#mine#text#phan#Jamie talks
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one thing thats so interesting about being a vegetarian is you get to hear all about everyones hypothetical activism that they care about very deeply when talking specifically about your diet and why it's stupid, but literally will never bring up ever again in any other context
#good idea generator#ppl will honest to god hit me with a 'well what about the dmg caused by plant agriculture' when i say im vegetarian for the environment#oh please tell me more about all the things youre doing to try to minimize your impact on the environment#and all the things you know about agriculture. in your infinite wisdom of [checks notes] doing the exact same thing you always have#or is the argument that because individual choices make little difference that we shouldnt even try or talk about it in case its annoying?#its not necessarily that these people arent making good points also#its just that when you have these same conversations 75 times over and over and over and OVER and get nowhere#it starts to become obvious most people learn these arguments in order to avoid genuinely interrogating their eating practices#either on an individual or communal level. am not asking you to cut out meat or go vegan (not a realistic demand of everyone on earth)#but i AM asking that you please do some self reflection on why the idea makes you so defensive#and about what exactly is so terrible of the idea that we may need to produce and consume less meat#i thought about 75 disclaimers i could put on this post but honestly if they become necessary it would prove my point
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