#i am being so incredibly fr i have thought this for a good couple weeks from videos of tit preshows

[stinkyies]

menendez brothers lookin ass fuckass haircut

[rhaenella]

idk if ur reqs are open but im obsessed with ur account. i was wondering if u could do a smau of any driver (other than danny ric) x pbr!reader. like shes the only woman to ever compete at NFR in bull riding. shes also 19 and doesnt ride with a helmet (just a cowboy hat) shes also like yhe biggest rodeo barbie you could imagine.

Firstly, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to work on your request, end of the year stuff and other wips got in the way 🫠 Anyways, I decided on Max for this because I almost immediately thought of him and his little Texas outfit 🥰 Also, I have to admit that my (non-American) knowledge of professional bull riding consisted primarily of The Longest Ride so excuse any inaccuracies, but I tried my best to read up on it! That being said, I hope it’s to your liking :) 

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

MV1 | Season of Champions

pairing: max verstappen x pbr!reader

genre: social media au

summary: you and max are each other's biggest supporters as max tries to secure his 3rd world championship title, whilst you're fighting for your 1st in a previously all male dominated sport

masterlist

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Liked by wagsf1, user3 and 135,092 others

mv.y/nupdates: Tomorrow our girl can secure one of the few select spots in the NFR finals!!! Unfortunately Max can’t be there due to his own race in Qatar, but we’ll be sure to cheer them both on ❤️

View all 712 comments

user1: they’re gonna kill it on both sides of the atlantic

user2: POWER COUPLE

user3: omg i hope y/n wins 🙏 she deserves this so much

user4: my alarm is set for 4 am to support y/n 🫡

user5: are you taking a nap between their races??

user4: lol obviously

user5: same 😂 it’s a tough life stanning max & y/n

7 October

Liked by y/n, mv.y/nupdates and 112,363 others

pbr: y/n y/l/n becomes the first woman in history to qualify for the NFR finals in Las Vegas in December! Congrats on this incredible achievement, y/n. See you in Sin City⚡️

View all 674 comments

user6: OMG SHE DID IT ❤️❤️❤️

user7: i’m so proud of her, i’ve literally been here since day 1

user8: remember when she used to do rodeo and everyone told her she could never go into pbr… look at her NOW 🔥

user9: she gave her hat to the little girl in the front row 😭❤️

user10: yep i cried

user11: y/n is not only the best, she is the SWEETEST

8 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 805,298 others

y/n: There aren’t words to describe how it feels to finally have my childhood dream come true. I’m not gonna lie, it was a tough road, especially as a female in this industry. Working my way up through rodeo to where I am today: a NFR finalist!! It’s a real pinch me moment… Little me would be ecstatic (just like present me 🙈) To all the other little girls that share the same passion & dream, it’s possible! Never stop believing in yourself ❤️ Now, let’s get that trophy!!!

View all 3,238 comments

maxverstappen1: My girl 😍 You’ve 100% got this 💪

y/n: Thank you baby 🥰 But first, Texas!

landonorris: GET INNN

Liked by y/n

lewishamilton: Legend in the making 🤍

Liked by y/n

user12: you’re gonna inspire so many girls to follow their dreams 🧡

user13: ✨role model✨

user14: soooo… idk if anyone’s seen the other finalists but she’s going to absolutely annihilate the competition just saying

user15: fr, they ain’t ready

8 October

Liked by user16, user17 and 658,512 others

f1: Howdy, y’all, it’s race week 🤠 Austin, here we come! 🇺🇸

View all 520 comments

y/n: Looking sharp sheriffs!

carlossainz55: Muchas gracias

charles_leclerc: Have to look our best this weekend, don’t we?

y/n: I wonder who for 🤔

charles_leclerc: 😉

user16: UHM FLIRTY MUCH??

user17: easy there sharl, she’s taken 💀

user18: cota the soap opera, i’m here for it

16 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 778,543 others

y/n: Switching my bull gear for that other bull gear 💙 COTA LET’S GOOO

View all 2,160 comments

maxverstappen1: Blue looks good on you

Liked by y/n

danielricciardo: Yeeeeehaaawwww

redbullracing: Team Bull. Always.

y/n: Hell yeah!!

user19: you can pull off literally anything 😍

user20: y/n is at cota this weekend!!!!!

user21: omfg finally some y/n & max content

user22: we’ve been STARVED

user21: exactly 🥲

user23: GIRL WAIT YOU SWITCHED TO THE CAP??

y/n: Don’t worry!! It was only for the pic 😊

user23: oh thank god

18 October

y/n's story

Seen by landonorris, alex_albon and 2,436,712 others

19 October

Liked by y/n, victoriaverstappen and 728,451 others

maxverstappen1: Austin ready 🇺🇸💪

View all 1,934 comments

y/n: There were so many cool hats to choose from but he insisted on wearing mine…😈

landonorris: Initiating the cowboy hat rule just in time before the race… Clever girl

alex_albon: Oooohh everybody watch out

schecoperez: 😂😂😂

y/n: You know it ;)

maxverstappen1: Wait what?

landonorris: Nothing, mate 🤠 You’ll find out soon enough

user24: BYEEEE AHAHAHA

user25: y/n and the whole grid ganging up on max 😭

user26: he’s so oblivious i love it

19 October

Liked by sophiekumpen, redbullracing and 654,281 others

f1: VERSTAPPEN WINS AT COTA! 🏆

View all 2,017 comments

user27: 🔥🔥🔥

user28: the goat does it again

user29: little sad that max didn’t wear the cowboy hat on the podium tho

user30: lmao y/n is probably as well

22 October

Liked by maxverstappen1, alex_albon and 768,311 others

y/n: WHAT. A. WEEKEND. 15th win of the season & 50th altogether!!!🥇Proud of you Maxie 😘😘

View all 2,108 comments

maxverstappen1: Love you 😘

user31: MAXIE??? i’m sobbing

user32: i need to know all her nicknames for him NOW

user33: and i need her to be at every one of his races

user34: same she fitted right in with the crew in the pitbox, joking around and everything :’)

user33: truly one of the few wags who are actually into the sport…

22 October

Liked by y/n, danielricciardo and 734,161 others

maxverstappen1: It’s incredible to win my 50th Grand Prix here today. I feel very proud to achieve this! Amazing job by everyone in the team 👏 And special thank you to y/n, the hat indeed brought us luck!

View all 1,998 comments

y/n: Always trust the hat, you should wear it more often

maxverstappen1: Unfortunately we cannot all break the helmet rules

y/n: 🙄

user35: lmao y/n is like you either die trying or you don’t try at all

user36: she has an aesthetic to look after 💅🏼

y/n: 🤣 You got it!

user36: OMG OMG

user37: BROOO

user38: well at least we’ve got that confirmed now

22 October

y/n's story

Seen by charles_leclerc, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,766,192 others

23 October

y/n's story

Seen by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 2,541,384 others

23 October

Liked by user39, user40 and 31,476 others

mv1jet: Verstappen’s jet just touched ground! 🛬 Nevada, United States of America 🇺🇸

View all 508 comments

user39: oh god everyone get ready

user40: this can only mean 1 thing

user41: MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN, 3-TIME F1 WORLD CHAMPION, COMING TO SUPPORT HIS GIRL AT THE BIGGEST PBR EVENT OF THE YEAR HELLO YES I AM SAT

28 November

Liked by mv.y/nupdates, pbr and 275,021 others

wranglernfr: Today marks the start of the 65th NFR Finals! Newcomer and fan favorite y/n y/l/n has a good shot at winning the championship this week. However, will she decide to adhere to the mandatory helmet regulations or will she risk disqualification and still wear her self-proclaimed good luck hat? We’ll find out soon, folks. Stay tuned!

View all 1,454 comments

user42: i bet she keeps to her aesthetic

user43: oh def, she basically said it herself already

user44: but but but would they really disqualify her when she wins…??

user45: technically it is against the rules to ride without a helmet during the nfr’s so… yeah they might

user44: 😥😥

user46: please y/n don’t jeopardize it all 😩

2 December

maxverstappen1's story

Seen by landonorris, schecoperez and 3,014,839 others

11 December

Liked by maxverstappen1, mv.y/nupdates and 301,294 others

wranglernfr: NFR 2023 Champion y/n y/l/n⚡️Despite sticking to her famous but controversial cowboy hat, y/n becomes the 65th winner in Las Vegas at just nineteen, beating the runnerup and last year’s champion Billy Youngster!

View all 1,778 comments

user47: SHE DID IT!!!! 💪🔥

user48: i’m bursting with pride i’m so happy for her 🥰🥰🥰

mv.y/nupdates: two world champions this is almost too good to be true 😭❤️

user49: their christmas is gonna be one helluva party

user50: well deserved, that billy kid had it coming

user51: he only won last year because of dumb luck!

user52: FACTS

user53: this year we have a winner who’s worthy of the title ❤️

user54: can’t get over how y/n was so far up ahead they literally couldn’t disqualify her for the hat thing lol

user55: imagine if they had, people would have rioted

user54: omg they would have, with max at the front hoisting his pitchfork in the air, leading the pack

user55: 😂😂

11 December

Liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 1,219,748 others

y/n: Cowboy hat + racing gloves = champions of the world 🏆

View all 4,193 comments

maxverstappen1: ❤️

sophiekumpen: So proud of both of you 🥰

victoriaverstappen: Coolest auntie (en oom natuurlijk🙊)!!!

Liked by y/n

landonorris: Congrats on making champion, champ!!! And wow… Max has got his own hat 👀

y/n: Yup! He deserved it after his triple US win 😍

charles_leclerc: Does this mean that your hat claim has lifted…?

maxverstappen1: Unless you want another inchident, back off

y/n: Uhm... He knows what it means now…

charles_leclerc: 😳

alex_albon: RIP Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc 🪦

Liked by maxverstappen1 and y/n

12 December

Liked by y/n, landonorris and 1,182,853 others

maxverstappen1: Wear the hat…

Comments have been disabled

12 December

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

a/n: translation of “en oom natuurlijk” > “and uncle ofcourse”

Happy holidays! x

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

[thekidsarentalright]

holy shit i meant to send this way earlier and then this week got rlly chaotic… anyway hello i’m alive!! how are u?!?

my fave paramore song is last hope bc… emotions :3 in the mourning is such a good choice too, it reminds me of watching a sunrise! and my favorite disney movie is either tangled or lilo and stitch <3 there are a lot but those are my top 2 i think!!

also shoutout to the anon who noticed all the dance miserable parallels bc i had similar thoughts the other day! (noticed the parallel between it and heartbreak feels so good) but the way they explained it and connected it to kintsugi kid? and finding EVEN MORE parallels?! galaxy brain moment fr!! i’m so intrigued abt what the other parallels are now 👀

this album is giving v strong vibes of like… healing and seeing the good but through gritted teeth (if that makes sense lol) and i’m so excited for all of it! the (ten years) after kintsugi kid is making me want to explode 😭 can you believe we’re only 20 days away from hearing it??

- 🧋 anon

ah no worries!! i'm pretty good, have had a couple of busy weeks and am having a couple days of nothing which is nice!! i hope ur doing good too, aside from the chaos!!

oughhhh last hope is probably one of my other favorites too it makes me so. words can't describe it actually just. emotions. yeah fkrnfkd in the mourning is So like watching a sunrise i love that :,) n those are both such good picks!!! i love tangled sm too, taste as always

yeahhhh for real that anon is so smart for making all those connections Immediately based off A song title like?? i'm intrigued to hear more of their thoughts too! i love hearing everyones thoughts rn like. deciphering this album has been soooo fun! plus if this is how we are w just titles i cannot Wait till the album comes out omg

those are the exact same vibes im getting from it too!!! very much a "if i can live through this i can do anything" vibe, yk? which is just. such an incredible theme to explore in an album. and the (ten years) is making me crazy too, made a whole post abt it earlier actually fjdnfk i Cannot believe we are so close to it being out, i'm so excited!! which song are you most excited for :0?

[lunaekalenda]

Sooo, I saw someone else do this, and I really loved the idea. Since ur my fav writer👀 (*winkwink), I would absolutely die of happiness if you did an aot boys househusband headcannons. Idc which aot boys as long as Reiner is in it (fr tho he's the most househusband material 😩).

aaAAA i feel honored, thank you so much!! i hope you like it <3!!!! o(≧∇≦o)

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

❁ shingeki boys!

❁ eren, armin, reiner, jean, connie, levi, porco, niccolo

❁ little implied mentions of sexual themes 

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

eren:

- he tries his best, don’t judge him.

- if you’re out for more than a week, he’ll die of hunger.

- “honey how am i supposed to cook pasta?”

- “just put it in boiled water.”

- it wasn’t that difficult, but he left it in water for too much time while playing some video games and it is now a mass.

- he stays by your side while you cook, watching it cautiously, but he ends having you against the kitchen island.

- “Eren, i’m cooking, please.”

- his mouth bitting your ear playfully.

- “i’ll be satisfied just with you, no need of food.”

- usually he orders a pizza after that because the food ended being a mess.

- “Eren Jaeger, the next time you distract me from cooking...”

- but, he cleans really well.

- he’s really constant and he keeps doing it until it shines.

- he usually cleans while you work, and he leaves the automatic vacuum working before leaving for his work,

- but, once he puts his headphones on and connects online with his friends...

- his desk is a huge mess, full of energetic drinks’ cans and empty packs of snacks. he cleans it once he’s finished playing, but sometimes he forgets,

- he’s waiting for you on the couch when you arrive late, dressed with his shorts and with his hair tied in a man-bun.

- “i was waiting for you, i missed you so much today...”

armin:

- he���s really clean because he doesn’t mess or mess up things, so you can have the house organized.

- he only makes a mess when he's studying for important exams.

- a lot of books on his desk and around his chair. A lot of papers with appointments.

- "just leave this, i promise i’ll clean it once my exam is done!"

- he cleans it, unless he arrives really tired from the exam, then he goes to sleep automatically.

- when he's alone, he cleans the pets' houses and gets rid of their furr

- also takes naps with his cat while waiting for you.

- he’s really good at ironing, he’s really fast at it.

- his shirts are always impeccable. 

- he’s also trying to learn how to cook.

- trying.

- “i made breakfast but i think i burned the pancakes”

reiner:

- he's a huge man and he seems clumsy, but no

- he's incredibly good at tasks.

- he wakes up early, even earlier than you, to prepare you a bath and breakfast for you two.

- “Rein, you don’t have to do this, you can sleep until your work hour”

- his work has night turns, but he shakes his head and keeps doing it for you.

- when you try to wake up early to do the same for him, he’s already awake, pulling you closer to him again.

- “why were you up so early.” he says , his sleepy voice caressing your ears when he speaks. 

- he’s also really clean, and it is not new, Bertholdt says he was like that when they shared a flat.

- his breakfasts are the best of the world: strawberry smoothies and fruits salad with fluffy pancakes.

- when he has free day, he likes to buy little things that remind you to him when he walks with the dog.

- “I bought you this chocolate lip balm because you said your lips are getting hurt because of the cold.”

- he also loves kids so much. he wants to have a family. 

- “just imagine a little girl waking us up at morning to accompany her to school.”

jean:

- he's so clingy he would do tasks just to be next to you.

- like, doing the laundry in the washing machine room, so small for two people, and be really near to you...

- and at the same time, he wants to show you he deserves to be your husband.

- he works a lot just to show you he can be your husband and the daddy of your children.

- "look babe, try my spaghetti"

- they were actually good, if he cooked a little bit more he will master it for sure.

- "imagine if we make here a garden with a couple swings for our babies?"

- he started working o a cute garden for you two spend the summer days out.

- he put white roses and pink dahlias, and a table with a couple chairs.

- he also put some lights for the night, to power them on and be a even more incredible garden.

- he also proposed to you under this lights.

connie:

- he lazy

- he just wants to watch tv, eat and sleep.

- but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do tasks.

- not a lot of them, but he does.

- like he does, but not all of them.

- “i don’t know how to use the washing machine.”

- “then mop the floor.”

- “but that’s so boring, baby please...”

- when he goes to the supermarket, he buys cups of instant ramen and sodas.

- “Connie we need real food to survive. We can’t eat everyday instant ramen and cola.”

- “but you look the color of the lettuce and i don’t know why, so imagine i take a poisoned lettuce because i didn’t analyze the color and we both die”

levi:

- he cleans the house in deep every two days. 

- he also keeps it organized.

- actually the thought of having kids bewitches him but scares him, just thinking about all the toys in every part of the house.

- he’s a really clean man, and you also clean up the house while he works.

- he likes to spoil you with his acts, like preparing you bubble baths, helping you to sew your clothes and making you braids.

- fortunately, your bathtub is big enough for the two of you bathing together.

- he likes to caress your waist and torso quietly, just the sound of water and your quite breaths.

- his hands on you makes your skin feel electricity.

- he enjoys that moments of privacy and intimacy.

- also drying your hair when you’re about to go to sleep.

- "if you sleep with it wet you'll catch a cold, dummy"

porco:

- he usually avoided the chores, but when you moved with him, he started to pay more attention to what he had to do.

- he’s more fixed on the way your hands take his clothes than on the things he has to do to wash them.

- “i’m paying attention!!”

- his excuses are always that you're a distraction for him.

- "but you're so gorgeous... i need you. now."

- "porco it's the fifth time you say that today..."

- "and not the last."

- you can't say no because you're as needy for him as he is for you, but you try to hide it.

- at the end, he needs help for all the tasks.

niccolo:

- he cooks sooo well

- every time you arrive home, he’s cooking something.

- pizza, seafood, cakes...

- the house always smell so nice...

- you don’t know how to cook that well, but you help him cleaning all the things he uses for his plates.

- and you help him giving him what he needs.

- “could you pass me that knife, please?”

- his hands always touches yours when he takes the knife

[patchofsunlight]

Stand You | Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Bakugou insists he can’t stand stupid Y/N, even while he changes his entire routine to fit her in it.

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

WARNINGS: if this doesn’t show up on tags for the fifth time i will simply give up on it, cursing, bakugou is a lil bitch but he’s also a softie, there’s a nosebleed at one point but nothing concerning tbh, aizawa and recovery girl find young love amusing, shouto is baby

Y/N wasn’t sure of exactly when she started thinking of Bakugou Katsuki as a friend. Maybe it had been during their first year, after the first time he allowed her to join his study group alongside Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina; or maybe it had been a bit later, when she hugged him tight in the middle of a crowd, almost as if she could squeeze the pain being kidnapped by the League of Villains had brought him, and he let her — while All Might fought his last battle and all of Japan feared for its future, Bakugou let her hold him.

She was deeply aware of the fact he tolerated her at best, as he made that abundantly clear every chance he got. He didn’t exactly hate her presence, but she was on thin fucking ice, and, even though Y/N knew this, she still managed to somehow develop a crush on the angry ash blond, like the stupid idiot she was.

It was ridiculous, to be honest, especially considering how there was no way he would ever feel the same. She would go as far as saying he didn’t even know her name — “Stupid,” he called her (how enchanting!) —, so, yeah, there was absolutely no possibility of her feelings being reciprocated in any way, and the dumb hug they shared was nothing but a coincidence. He was a bit shaken, a bit shocked, and those few warm minutes didn’t really mean anything.

Y/N didn’t mind. She was okay being Bakugou’s friend, satisfied with study group meetings and the occasional sparring. That way, at least, she could be sort of close to him, and that was pretty much enough.

Katsuki wasn’t sure of exactly when he had stopped thinking of Y/N L/N as another stupid extra. Maybe it had been when he found himself walking a little slower while she accompanied him towards class, or maybe it had been a bit earlier, when she hugged him tight in the middle of a crowd, almost as if she could squeeze the pain being kidnapped by the League of Villains had brought him, and he let her — while All Might fought his last battle and all of Japan feared for its future, Bakugou let her hold him.

He didn’t particularly like her. She talked too much, too fast, too loud; she insisted on walking him to and from the dorms everyday; and she was weak, stupid, useless. To be completely fair, Bakugou would say he despised her.

And yet, he found himself around her way more often than necessary.

“Hey, Bakugou, wait up! Let’s walk together!”

He groaned loudly at the sound of her voice, having been hopelessly hoping she wouldn’t be able to catch up. 

“Fuck, no. Get out of my way, Stupid!”

He slowed down nonetheless, soon walking by her side. Her smile was bright and excited as she kept on blabbering about something Kirishima had done when they were paired up on training that day.

He couldn’t fucking stand her.

“— and then he threw me off the training mat so easily! Who taught him how to do that? I wanna do that!”

“I don’t give a fuck, Stupid.”

“— but I won the second time we sparred, so I guess we’re even. It was fun.”

Y/N never seemed bothered by his harsh words. In fact, she usually either ignored them altogether, unfaltering and patient, or laughed and added some opinion of her own to his rage. It was maddening — she couldn’t take a hint.

Moments like this were common, almost routine. If Bakugou didn’t know better, he would’ve thought the girl had taken quite a liking to him. It was an obvious conclusion, considering she was always around him in some way or another, trying to spark up friendly conversation and letting him know how her day went.

(It was so, so calming to have her here like this. He would never admit it, but hearing Y/N’s endless rants brought him a sense of security he had never really felt before. She talked too much, that was for sure, yet he didn’t really care. It was okay if it was her.)

He couldn’t fucking stand her.

“Come on, try again. We’ve gone through this already.”

“I can’t, Bakugou. I—I’m sorry.”

The ash blond sighed, running a hand through his hair. The bite to his tone had disappeared after a couple of hours, red gaze intensely attentive to the frustrated tears gathering in the girl’s eyes. Every other student had gone back to their dorms, and the librarian seemed very intent on shooting the duo angry looks as if to tell them to hurry up and leave already, finally allowing their long afternoon shift to end.

“Yes, you can. I know you can. Try again, you’re almost fucking there.”

Katsuki had never been good at positive reinforcement. He was better at screaming and cursing and insulting, and, yes, he had tried that with Y/N a thousand times before, but he could see how hard she was trying. He noticed how disappointed and tired she was, and he couldn’t find it in himself to be anything less than what he recognized as incredibly soft. He was glad they were the only ones in the library — he wouldn’t know how to explain himself if anyone saw him like this, watching this random girl who he refused to call a friend mess up her homework in various different ways, talking quietly to stop her from crying.

“We don’t have all fucking day, Stupid. You can do this, go on.”

Yeah, definitely not good at positive reinforcement.

“Okay,” she inhaled deeply, pencil moving slowly through the paper, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 

There was a slight crease between her brows as she worked, and Bakugou felt the sudden urge to rub it away, which he rejected immediately. That was ridiculous! There was no reason for things like this to plague his mind — L/N Y/N was an idiot, and he didn’t deliberately think about her in any way, form, or universe. She wasn’t worthy of his thoughts.

“Is this it?”

His attention immediately returned to the equations and messy notes on her notebook while he looked it over, a surprised glint taking his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s basically it. It could be better, but you got it right.”

“I did?”

“You did. I told you you could do it, Stupid.”

Katsuki choked on his own air when the girl jumped towards his place on the table, hugging him tightly by the neck while spouting a great variety of thank you’s and praise, disrupting the angry librarian. Bakugou could feel his cheeks heat up under the worker’s glare, both with irritation born from their silent attitude and from the weird warmth growing in his chest at Y/N’s attention. 

It was the first time she hugged him since the kidnapping accident, and it felt different. It wasn’t a comfort hug like last time, no — it was almost like she had been so happy she couldn’t stop herself from touching him, and that thought alone was enough to send sirens flaring inside his head. Every single inch where her skin touched his seemed to tingle, a calming sensation flowing through his body.

He instantly decided he hated the feeling, pushing her off harshly but still a tad more carefully than he would’ve if it was anyone else.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, no need to freak out. Let’s just get done with this already and go back to the dorms.”

She smiled widely as she picked her things up, shoving them inside her backpack and patiently waiting for him to do the same. Strangely, the explosion boy couldn’t find it in himself to meet her eyes, avoiding the light blush he feared would coat his features when he saw her staring at him like that, with that pretty — no, not pretty, no, he didn’t think she was pretty in anyway — with that stupid smile on her face.

“I’m glad we can walk back together,” the girl declared cheerfully the moment they left the big and lonely library, strolling through the empty path side by side, the sun nowhere to be seen. “It’s late already.”

“Whatever,” he groaned back, refusing to look at her yet still maintaining a pace he was sure she could keep up with.

He couldn’t fucking stand her.

Bakugou felt hyper-aware of every movement beside him. For a few days now, his heart would pump a bit faster whenever she smiled, and his skin would crawl with what he could only describe as the craving to have her hold him again.

It made him weak, and he wouldn’t have it. Bakugou Katsuki was a lot of things, but he refused to be weak.

Specially because of someone like Stupid.

“What grade did you guys get on last week’s math test?”

They always sat next to each other during lunch. It wouldn’t be that bad if it wasn’t for how her knee touched his ever so softly, her body too close for comfort because of Kaminari’s presence on her other side, pressing onto her enthusiastically each time he spoke. Kirishima had asked her once if she wanted him to exchange places with the electric boy, but she simply laughed it off — Kaminari’s manners were endearing, in a way. For some reason, those words gave Katsuki the urge to break Kaminari’s nose.

“I got an 87,” Y/N declared, delight dripping from her words while she played with the food on her plate.

“Y/N!” Mina’s smile was so big it almost didn’t fit on her face. “That’s almost 30 marks higher than you got on our last test!”

“I know!” Bakugou scowled at her excitement before she turned her head to look at him, a sunny grin directed entirely to him, stealing all the air from his lungs. “Bakugou is an amazing tutor!”

“Damn right I am,” he managed to rasp out, clearing his throat loudly before shoving a bunch of spicy noodles in his mouth. Kirishima and Sero exchanged a look.

He would never admit it, the raw pride that consumed his chest at her happiness. He knew how hard she had worked for that test, and was glad to see it went even better than she expected. 

“Maybe now you could tutor me, Y/N,” Kaminari wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing a laugh to escape the girl’s lips while she turned away from Katsuki to stare at him.

“I would love to, but I’m pretty sure I would make your grades even worse.”

“Hey,” Bakugou barked angrily, fighting off the blush creeping up his ears, “don’t sell yourself short, Stupid. You’re not that much of a dumbass.”

A heavy silence fell down on the group, surprised stares pointed to the ash blond. He could feel his stomach twist in anger at the unwanted attention, yet something about the way her smile widened at his words caused his irritation to decrease exponentially.

“What are you idiots staring at?” he lashed out despite the calm settling inside his heart at the sight of her, rolling his eyes at the bunch of morons he called his friends.

“No, nothing,” Kaminari’s voice was high-pitched in obvious lying that brought out snickers from everyone else on the table but Bakugou himself. “Nothing.”

“It better be nothing, Dunce Face, or I’ll kill you.”

“Of course,” Kirishima bit down on his lip to contain his laughter, “don’t worry about it, Bakubro.”

The day went by slowly and way more often than not Bakugou found himself stealing glances towards where he knew Y/N’s seat was. There was a weird whispering in the back of his head, reminding him of how her arms felt around him when they hugged in the library the week before, reminding him of the warmth that invaded his skin and implanted itself in his brain, reminding him of how bright her smiles were and how nice her laughter sounded.

Oh, there was something wrong. Did she have some sort of secondary quirk guilty of making him feel like this? Never before had he ever given her much thought, even though he had to admit his mind wandered to her sometimes and he did try to somehow be nicer to her, but it wasn’t because he cared for her or anything, right? Of course not! He just thought she wouldn’t be able to take his usual self and he didn’t want to deal with her crying or whatever. It wasn’t because he cared about what she thought of him, hell no! Bakugou didn’t waste his time worrying about others, that wasn’t like him at all.

Bakugou Katsuki didn’t think about L/N Y/N, he didn’t, he wouldn’t.

The ash blond forced his gaze away from her once more, trying to make sense of what should’ve been neat notes instead of the mess of scribbles staring right back at him. He snarled to himself, immediately considering his disorganization as entirely her fault. How dare she play with him like this? How dare she think herself worthy of his time like this?

He couldn’t stand her.

And yet, less than two hours later, there he was, listening to her rant about this one movie she desperately wanted to watch while they walked beside each other after class. It would be so easy for Bakugou to pick up his pace and leave her alone, but his body refused to obey his mind’s wishes, and so he kept himself slow enough for her to stay with him.

He couldn’t fucking stand her.

His whole body was sore, barely able to move his arms after overusing his quirk all evening. Bakugou knew he shouldn’t push himself this hard, but he refused to falter, refused to stay behind and risk being weak again. He needed to get stronger, smarter, and, for better or for worse, that involved long training hours. 

The path back to the dorms was strangely lonely without a certain girl keeping him company — not that Katsuki minded, he obviously didn’t. Some loneliness was very much appreciated after the last couple of weeks, which were filled with study group sessions and stupid walks. 

He sighed heavily when the 2-A dorm finally came into his range of vision, causing his tired figure to relax. He was almost there — he would soon be able to eat something, take a nice shower, and then fall straight into bed. He would soon be able to rest, and that was the only thing in his mind.

The ash blond kicked his shoes away the moment he reached the door, tossing them aside without a second thought. 

He would’ve liked to say he bee-lined to the kitchen.

He didn’t.

“Stupid, what the fuck are you doing?”

Y/N looked up from the common room coffee table, startled by the sudden interruption. She studied him for a second before answering, “I’m just looking over some homework. Why? Did something happen?”

He grunted in distaste, unable to stop himself from sitting down next to her on the couch. Every single one of his muscles felt like it was on fire from overexertion.

“It’s fucking late. Didn’t we study yesterday? Did you even have dinner yet?”

She tensed slightly at his angry questions, returning her stare towards the papers in front of them. “Yeah, but I just thought it’d be good to go over everything once more. I’ll just eat some crackers for dinner, it’s fine,” she shrugged nonchalantly, missing the way his eyebrows furrowed at her words, “where were you anyway?”

Katsuki simply rolled his eyes, arms crossed. “It’s none of your fucking business, Stupid. And you can’t have crackers for dinner, that’s not a proper meal.”

“What are you gonna do about it, Bakugou? Will you cook me dinner?” Her tone was teasing, joking, but he stood up immediately, snatching all the papers and notes from her and walking to the kitchen without a second of hesitation. “Hey, what the fuck!”

“Come with me already, you dumbass,” he snarled angrily, a tint of red covering his cheeks, “what do you want to eat?”

Her voice suddenly went soft, “Bakugou, I was kidding. You don’t need to get me dinner, I can just heat up some ramen or—”

“Shut the fuck up, Stupid. I was already going to cook dinner for myself anyway.”

He wasn’t, actually. He planned on eating leftovers from lunch, but he knew there wouldn’t be enough leftovers for both of them, and it was good to prepare some lunch for the next day, anyway. It wasn’t like he was doing it for her, of course not! It was just… Mutually beneficial. Yeah, it was mutually beneficial, not—not special treatment. He didn’t care about Stupid, he didn’t.

“Can I help with anything?” she asked nervously, face flushed from bashfulness and hands fidgety. Katsuki shook his head, ignoring the twitching pain on his forearms as he stirred the pot.

“Just sit down and wait.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N bit her lower lip with furrowed brows. “You seem tired, I don’t want you to do everything by yourself.”

An angry remark sat on the top of his tongue, but the ash blond hesitated. Well, if she helped with the simpler things this would be done faster, and he could go back to his room and rest earlier. Besides, the idea of cooking and spending time with Y/N in the kitchen caused some type of warmth to take over his chest — a warmth that wasn’t exactly insufferable.

It felt strangely soothing, hearing her hum while slicing vegetables and waiting for the noodles to cook through. It felt even more strangely soothing to sit before her on the kitchen table, staring anxiously while she took the first bite of his food. The worst, however, was the way her smile brightened up the room when she started rambling about how good it tasted and how much of a good cook he was and how he now had to cook for her more often. He disagreed loudly, the tip of his ears burning with embarrassment, saying he didn’t cook for her — he cooked for him, and she just happened to be there too. She cackled, and his heart seemed to burn.

He couldn’t fucking stand her.

Seventeen minutes. Y/N was seventeen minutes late.

Had she forgotten about it? God, she was the one who brought it up in the first place, and now she was the one making him wait. Katsuki felt incredibly stupid sitting in his dorm floor, a bunch of her favorite snacks neatly organized next to the nightstand and pillows on the ground for them to sit on. It was supposed to be a study date or whatever, even though he repeatedly refused to call it that (“it’s not a date, Stupid, it’s just one of our homework sessions like always!”). 

They had been spending a lot of time together between studying at the library, walking to the dorms, and cooking and eating dinner, and Bakugou had to admit he didn’t absolutely hate it. Don’t get him wrong, Y/N was still annoying and stupid and insufferable but—but something about her made him come back every single time, ignoring the knowing looks from his friends and the snickers from his classmates.

Despite his anger, a bit of worry started to blossom inside the boy’s chest. Stupid Y/N (and he hated how affectionate the mean nickname sounded to himself at this point) was rarely late — he had been seeing her after school hours enough to know. The girl was always on time and, when she wasn’t, she made sure to let others know why.

There was no text from her, though, and it made his fingers twitch uncomfortably with the urge to make a phone call and check if everything was alright.

Not that he cared if she was alright or not, because he didn’t. She was just—just some girl who decided to invade his life with no permission whatsoever and then stayed. He didn’t care about her.

And yet— 

“Hello?”

“IcyHot? What are you doing with Y/N’s phone? Where the fuck is she?”

Bakugou couldn’t muster any reason for why Todoroki would’ve been the one to pick up the call instead of her. They weren’t even friends! Yes, they knew each other and he was vaguely aware of the fact the two had sparring sessions every once in a while, but not enough so for Todoroki to feel comfortable using her phone or for Y/N to bail on their study date.

“Oh, Bakugou,” Shouto’s tone was as casual as always, almost as if this was a common occurrence (which it wasn’t), “hey. Y/N is with Recovery Girl right now. She got into a fight, but she is okay, just a few cuts and bruises. I was the one to stop the fight, so Aizawa asked me to wait around while she gets checked up on. Do you want me to tell her anything?”

Bakugou had been out the door when he heard the words “Recovery Girl”, speed walking to the nurse’s office while Todoroki rambled. He could feel his heart picking up its pace. Why would Y/N get into a fight? God, this wasn’t like her, and the prospect of someone purposely picking a fight with her filled him with the most raw type of anger possible.

“What the fuck did she get into a fight for?” he voiced his concerns, and he was pretty sure Todoroki just shrugged.

“These two boys were saying things about—”

“Todoroki? Who are you talking to?”

“Miss L/N, I’m still not done with you—”

Katsuki furrowed his brows at the commotion heard from the other end. He could easily recognize her voice, even though it sounded raspy and tired, but the next bit of conversation was too muffled for him to understand. The future hero could already see Recovery Girl’s office a few meters away, and it made him walk a bit faster.

“Give me the phone, Todoroki.”

“Miss L/N, you are still bleeding—”

The door opened violently. Y/N met Bakugou’s glare and felt a bad shiver go down her spine.

Shit, they were supposed to have that study date today. God, did he come all the way over there just to scold her? 

Heavy silence fell over the small group of people. Aizawa and Recovery Girl exchanged a quick look, the small lady’s arm still extended towards the girl in a failed attempt to grab her and drag her back to the hospital bed, even though she was definitely not as hurt as they made her out to be. Yes, she had a bunch of nasty bruises after throwing hands with two random guys from the year above her, and, yes, her nose hadn’t stopped bleeding yet, but she was mainly okay. Todoroki had gotten there pretty quickly and stopped her from making things worse, so she was fine.

“What the fuck did you do, Stupid?”

Yeah, he definitely went all the way there to scold her.

“Uh. Now, that’s a good question!” She consciously chose to ignore the smirk on Aizawa’s face, pulling her phone from Todoroki’s grip a bit more violently than necessary. “You see, I’m sorry for my tardiness, I know we had plans, we still can—”

“I asked you what the fuck you did, Stupid. I’m waiting for my answer.”

“Miss L/N picked a fight with two third years after hearing them talk about one of her colleagues in public. Thankfully, Mr. Todoroki intervened,” their teacher cut in, crossing his arms and staring as the girl cleaned up a stray drop of blood on her lips with the back of her hand. “She’ll be getting a written warning and will hopefully stay out of trouble.”

“Yes, sir,” she muttered, frowning when Recovery Girl started fussing over her again, sticking band-aids all over the small cuts on her face. Y/N had refused to accept Recovery Girl’s quirk treatment, aware that she was very busy and that it wasn’t necessary for the school nurse to tire herself out for just a few bruises. She was so intent on glaring at her elders that she didn’t notice the worry swimming in Bakugou’s red gaze.

“Good. Can you two get her back to the dorms?”

“Yes, I—”

“Fuck off, IcyHot, I’m taking her back by myself. Find something to freeze or whatever.”

Katsuki grabbed her by the arm, dragging her out of Recovery Girl’s office without a second’s worth of hesitation. He wouldn’t even look at her, fuming the whole way to the dorms. Still, he walked slow enough for her to not struggle to keep up.

“Are you mad?”

He snickered humorlessly, “of course I am, Stupid. How the fuck did you get yourself into this? And you fucking left me waiting, too, you idiot.”

Usually, Y/N didn’t care about his harsh words. Y/N didn’t mind his angry remarks. This time, however, she felt tired, and she had just gotten into a fight because of him, so she refused to take it. She had tried so hard to get close to him, to make him like her. The girl could feel tears gathering in her eyes from fury and sadness — how stupid was she to actually believe he would ever like her, be it as a friend or more? She should’ve known better. Dinner and studying and walking together meant nothing to him. She was just a bother, and she should’ve noticed earlier.

Y/N halted, pulling her arm away from his hand with rage and deception coating her every feature, “shut the fuck up, Bakugou. I don’t have to give you any explanations, you piece of shit. If you’re so pissed about it, why don’t you just leave me alone, huh? I’m done keeping up with your bullshit. I always try to be a good friend to you and you just keep doing this! You keep pushing me away and treating me like an idiot, and I deserve more than that!”

The explosion boy had a crease on his forehead, a cold feeling going through his body. The angry look in her eyes was something he didn’t recognize, and suddenly she felt so unreachable, so far away. He quickly decided he hated it.

Why did he hate it, though? They had nothing to do with each other. They were barely friends. Wasn’t this what he wanted? He couldn’t fucking stand her, he didn’t care about her. This was what he had wanted for months now — for her to tell him to leave, for her to not stand him too. Why did it feel so wrong, then? Why did he feel the urge to collect her in his arms like she loved to do with him? Why did he just want to hold her and tell her he was worried and that he couldn’t wait to spend more time with her, that he couldn’t wait for their stupid study date? And, yeah, it could be a date if she wanted it to. God, he’d accept any name or title she gave their meetings if only they could go on forever.

How long had this been going on? When did she make him so attached to her? Why hadn’t he noticed it before?

“Fuck you, Bakugou,” she muttered, slightly out of breath after her short outburst, face dark with frustration, “those idiots were talking about you and about how you should be a villain or whatever, and I got mad. That’s how I fucking got myself into this, because I care about you. Thanks for caring, asshole.”

The girl turned to walk away, and panic bloomed in the boy’s chest. He didn’t know why exactly, but he knew he couldn’t let her leave. He couldn’t let her leave him, couldn’t let her think he didn’t care, because he was just now seeing he did — so, so much. Of course he cared about her and all her silly manners that made their way into his heart and stayed there, on the edge of conditioning him to feel better whenever she was around. Of course he cared about her and the study dates and the sparring sessions and all the stories she loved to tell, of course he fucking did. Of course.

Katsuki was quick to grab her arm again, pulling her so close to him their chests bumped. Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Bakugou, what the fuck are you—”

“I like you. I really—I really do,” he shook his head, trying to gather his own feelings. “A lot. I was worried. I’m sorry.”

Y/N blinked.

“You were worried? About me?”

“Yes,” he scratched the back of his neck, looking away to hide his blushed cheeks, which didn’t go unnoticed by her attentive eyes. A smile played on the corners of her mouth, and Y/N let herself enjoy the rapid bumping of her heart, the flustered sight of the one boy she had fallen for. Flustered because of her. She could feel a rush of confidence building inside her chest. “I guess… I guess I care about you, too. Even if you’re absolutely insufferable,” he added clumsily, causing her smile to widen considerably, “I can’t fucking stand you, to be honest. You annoy me to no end.”

“Now do I?” she took a step closer, so close that he could feel her breath on his face and it made his head spin. “You don’t seem very annoyed to me, Bakugou.”

“Katsuki,” he corrected thoughtlessly, feeling his face warm up even more when he took notice of his own words.

“Right,” Y/N nodded, smirk on her face, “Katsuki, then.”

He opened his mouth to make a mean remark that would push her away enough to give him space to breathe, but he was suddenly interrupted by her lips on his. Before he could register it, she was gone, speed walking back to the dorms. After a few shocked seconds, he started running after her, calling her name angrily and trying to conceal the dark red on his face, neck, and ears.

“Hey, come back here, Stupid! What the fuck was that?”

Bakugou couldn’t have ignored the way his heart fluttered at the sound of her laugh even if he tried, a lazy smile taking over his lips immediately.

“I can’t stand you either, Katsuki.”

“Oh, shut up.”

[snowdice]

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 60]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27

Okay. Not sure how long I’ll go today, but let’s work on this for a bit. Just gotta finish this side quest and then we can get back to the plot. ;)

Chapter 28

Thomas did not have to be told that something had gotten Helen Heart in a tizzy. He could tell just by the amount of food she had sent up on his dinner tray. She always made and pushed more food when she was stressed, and he couldn’t help but chuckle when he found both a hearty serving of roast beef and a mini chicken pot pie on his plate along with three vegetable side dishes and a side of macaroni and cheese.

He could also guess what had happened to illicit such a response. Thomas had caught up to Jeffers Deknis in his garden and they’d spoken at length about Logan and Patton’s new friend.

There was no way that after said discussion, Jeff had not mentioned Virgil (and more importantly his friendship with Patton) to Helen during their daily gossip sessions. There was also no way that Helen had heard the words “child” and “too small” in a sentence and hadn’t flipped. From there the inevitable sequence of events was clear: Patton went home, Helen talked his ear off until he agreed to bring Virgil to meet her, Helen met him and immediately committed herself to making sure he ate three square meals a day as well as multiple snacks.

Thomas had sussed all of that out before the kitchen worker bringing him his dinner had mentioned what had happened that day.

 That in mind, he decided to wait until after dinner should have been cleaned up before walking his own dinner leftovers down to the kitchens.

Thomas was unsurprised to see Jeff already in the kitchen. He was sat at a small table off to the side where kitchen workers usually took their breaks. The only person other than Jeff and Helen left in the kitchen was a dishwasher who was finishing up. Helen usually spent a couple of hours after dinner in her kitchen or her office organizing for the next day and in case anyone needed food on an off hour, and then there was a night cook who would take over so she could go back to her set of rooms.

 Helen took the tray of leftovers from Thomas herself and shooed the dishwasher out of the way. “I’ll handle the rest myself,” she told the girl. “You can leave.”

She nodded and started to take her apron off. Helen dumped the tray on the counter without care and turned back around to usher Thomas into one of the kitchen chairs. Thomas went willingly and she turned to fill the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove.

“It take it she met Virgil,” Thomas said to Jeff.

“She’s adopted Virgil,” Jeff replied, taking a bite out of a cookie.

 “And what of it?” she asked. “Someone obviously needs to feed the boy. Speaking of, you’re grounding your son by the way.”

Thomas took one of the cookies for himself. “Why am I grounding Logan?” he asked.

“He was worried enough about his health to make him a nutrition potion, but still did not bring him to me,” she harrumphed.

“I see,” Thomas replied.

“In Logan’s defense,” Jeff interrupted. “the boy seems rather timid. He may have worried about you scaring him off.”

Helen slapped him with a dishtowel.

“Actually,” Jeff continued. “From what I’ve gathered he didn’t have contact with anyone since the time I saw him a couple of weeks ago until now.”

 “Any adults,” Thomas corrected with a frown. “I’m pretty sure he, Patton, and Logan must have been around each other considering how close they already seem to be.” He paused, “Logan implied he wasn’t particularly… comfortable around adults.”

“I did get that impression, yes,” Helen said, pouring the hot water from the kettle into a tea pot and carrying it and some cups over to the table.

“He was incredibly jumpy,” Jeff confirmed. “I imagine he does not have good experiences with many people, but he seems to have grown attached to Logan and Patton. He defers to them in most things and seemed a bit protective.

 “Where did he come from?” Thomas asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jeff said. “I found him hiding in the garden shed a couple of weeks ago.”

“Did he sneak in?” Thomas asked.

“That’s what I would have thought,” Jeff replied, “but when I asked, he said he wasn’t trying to steal anything and that he was supposed to be in the castle. So, I’d assumed that meant he was the child of someone living in the caste.”

“But neither of us could find anyone who knew him,” Helen said. “Of course, we didn’t even know his name until now.” She seemed to decide the tea leaves had sat long enough because she started to pour them each a cup of tea.

Thomas took a sip. “Earl Grey,” he commented. “I guess I’m not sleeping much tonight.” It was her ‘planning tea.’

 “We need a plan,” she said, “but we’re going to have to be gentle.”

“At least with Virgil,” Jeff said.

Thomas laughed lightly, “and what do you plan to do with the other two?”

“I have my ways.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “You say that,” she said, “but you’re too soft. The two of them learned to run circles around you and your powers years ago.”

“We should talk to them though,” Thomas said. “Separately from Virgil.”

“We should,” Helen agreed. “I already spoke to Patton a bit yesterday, but I will again. We should see if we can ask around and find out why he’s in the castle. We don’t even know how long he’s lived here. Or who brought him here.” The look on her face told Thomas she wanted to have a talk with his guardians whoever and wherever they were.

 Helen took a drink of tea, it seemed to calm herself. “We need to make sure whatever has been happening to him is not happening in these walls,” she said.

Thomas had honestly… not thought about that. He’d assumed whatever made Virgil so skittish was in the past, but it was possible that it was ongoing. The thought made him sick.

“Perhaps you should try to talk to him, Thomas,” Helen suggested.

Thomas winced. “I am not sure that is a good idea...”

“Why not?”

“We don’t have the best track record… I don’t think me being around him would be a good idea.”

 “Oh, please, Thomas,” Helen said disbelievingly.

“No, you don’t understand,” Thomas said. “He seems disproportionately afraid of me. I think it’s a mix of me being king and how we met.”

“How did you meet?” Helen asked.

“I… gave him a bit of a fright,” Thomas admitted. “Logan and Patton weren’t in the room and I didn’t know who he was. He… ended up under the bed. Then… the second time I saw him he accidently ran into me. He freaked out again.” The memory still made Thomas feel gross. It also made him think there was a lot more to his backstory than the three of them understood.

43410

“Perhaps Jeff can try to talk to him then,” Helen said. “It sounds like he was calmest around you. I’ll push Patton towards taking him to the garden more often. I bet fresh air would do him some good anyway.”

Jeff nodded. “I will try to talk to him a bit more.”

“Great,” Helen said, but Thomas already knew the conversation wasn’t over. “Now we need to talk about strategic events to throw over the next few months that Patton and Logan to invite Virgil to. We’ll start slow, but we need to make sure he feels welcome in the castle.”

Thomas met Jeff’s eyes. Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 29

Virgil finished eating the breakfast Patton’s mom had sent for him. It had been going on a week since she’d made the menu for him. She sent up little cards with each meal and he was supposed to rate each thing she sent on a scale from 1-5. Logan would read it to him before he ate, and Virgil mark the little box on the card. Usually, he would put a 4 for everything (he had tried to do 5, but Logan had told him 5 was reserved for things like chicken alfredo). Three was for things that he was neutral on, 2 was for things he didn’t like but could tolerate, and 1 was for things he didn’t like. So far, the only 3 was the unseasoned porridge she’d sent one day.

 “Finished?” Logan asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil said.

“What would you like to do today?” Logan asked. “Patton is busy until after lunch, and then we thought you might like to go back to the garden again. It’s supposed to drop in temperature over the next few days, so it will be the last good day for it.”

“Sounds good,” Virgil said. “I don’t care what we do today though.”

“Well, there are a few options,” Logan said.

“What do you want to do?” Virgil asked.

Logan made an expression, and Virgil titled his head. “I’m don’t have anything in particular I want to do,” he said.

“You’re lying,” Virgil said immediately.

 “You would not be interested in the activity I wish to partake in,” Logan said.

Virgil squinted at him. “I’d be interested in laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling.”

Logan chuckled. “No, truly. The activity I would do if you were not present would involve reading.”

“You can read to me,” Virgil suggested.

“…In Sanskrit.”

Virgil frowned at him. “Isn’t that, like, some sort of dead language?”

“It is,” Logan said. “I taught myself to read it to read a specific book called the Pragilium Text. It’s an encoded book that leads to a magical location that I have been trying to decode for years.”

 “That’s fine,” Virgil said. “You can do that.”

“It would be in the library,” Logan said.

“Okay.”

“But…” Logan said. “It would in no way be interesting to you.”

Virgil shrugged. “Like I said. I’m content to lie on the floor for a few hours.”

Logan frowned. “I can’t make you do that.”

“You wouldn’t be making me,” Virgil said. “I want to go. Maybe you can find me an easy book I could try to read?”

“Are you certain?” he asked.

Virgil nodded, decisively.

“Very well, get dressed and I will show you the library.”

Virgil stood to do so and a few minutes later, Logan was leading him out of the royal wing.

 Both of the guards greeted him kindly, and Virgil hunched his shoulders in a bit, but said a soft “hi.”

The library didn’t end up being too far away. It was through the small dining hall and to the left where the staircase to the kitchen was to the right.

“This is not the main library,” Logan said. “It is just a smaller one. The royal librarian comes here only about once a week to organize. Some other castle residents might come in too, but it is usually mostly empty.” Virgil could tell just by listening for a few seconds that the place was likely empty (unless someone was lying in wait).

 “I’ll look and see if there is something simple for you in case you’d like to read. You can explore a bit if you’d like,” Logan said.

Virgil nodded and stalked off into the shelves to secure the area. There were many books, not that he could quite read any of the spines. The bookcases were mostly cramped into the space. There was the open area where they’d come in with a few comfy chairs and Virgil found a desk near one of the windows. It had stacks of books including one pretty large and old one. He looked at it curiously.

 Virgil heard Logan’s footsteps approach from down an aisle. “That’s the Pragilium text,” he said.

“It’s pretty,” Virgil said, looking at the design etched into the cover.

“Yes,” Logan agreed. He reached forward to touch it and opened it carefully. The print was small and didn’t look like the letters Logan had taught him so far. There was a small map on the side that Virgil could at least guess at the meaning of.

“You can read that?” Virgil asked.

“I can,” Logan said. “Very few people can though.”

“Wow, you’re really smart.”

“Thank you,” Logan said with a smile.

 “Now,” Logan continued. “I found you a book. I apologize as its subject matter is for younger children, but it has many pictures that can help give you context when you don’t know something. You don’t have to read it if you do not wish to, especially as we haven’t gotten very far in our lessons, but I thought you might like the challenge.

He handed him the book and Virgil took it with a smile. “I’ll try to read it,” he said.

“Well, you have free reign of the library. Feel free to continue to explore and to interrupt me if you need to.”

 Virgil nodded and took the book before deciding to finish his sweep of the library. It turned out that appearances were not deceiving, and the library truly was empty. Once he was certain about that, he looked around for a comfortable place to settle down and try to read the book Logan had handed him. He found a sturdy looking bookshelf near where Logan was reading at his desk. He scaled it quickly. It was a little bit dusty at the top, but it wasn’t a bad place. It was close to the ceiling and kept him hidden pretty well, but still gave him enough room to pop up onto his elbows. If he looked left, he could see Logan down bellow with his head in the book, but if he looked right, he could see the entrance to the library.

 He pulled the book in front of him and looked at the cover. It was covered in drawings of different colored flowers. One simple white flower was in the center and there were three words on the cover. He squinted at it and silently tried to sound it out based on what Logan had taught him so far. He could guess that the larger word was ‘flowers’ based on context. So, he was pretty sure it read How Flowers Grow.

He flipped open the book. Logan was right, there were many hand drawn beautiful pictures. He could pretty much understand what was happening just from them even if he couldn’t read all of the words.

 It was an interesting book even if he couldn’t read it and it was obviously made for small children. Judging by the pictures it seemed to be detailing how plants, or at least, flowers grew through some kid planting and caring for a flower over the course of some amount of time.

Virgil had, of course, known flowers grew from seeds, but it was interesting to see things about how the stem would pop out of the seed in the ground and things about the roots growing.

He more looked through the pictures than read it the first time but had flipped back to the front to try to read the words when he heard the library door open.

 Virgil perked up in awareness, but then settled when he recognized Patton’s footsteps. Virgil tilted his head to watch as he walk directly to Logan’s hideaway.

“Hi,” he said, gaining Logan’s attention.

“Hello, Patton,” Logan replied. He glanced at the window and must have seen that time had passed because he closed his book and shuffled his papers.

“The guards said you came here,” Patton said, glancing around. “Where’s Virgil?”

Instead of letting Logan answer that question, Virgil pulled himself forward, with the book in one hand and slid off the bookshelf to land lightly on his feet next to Patton.

Patton screamed before slapping a hand over his mouth.

 Logan had placed his hand over his heart. “Where on Earth did you come from?” he asked.

Virgil blinked at him and then pointed to the bookshelf he’d been on top of.

“How long were you up there?” Logan asked.

“Pretty much the whole time,” Virgil answered.

“I…” Logan said. “I didn’t even know.”

Virgil squinted at him. “You need to learn to look up.”

Patton giggled.

Virgil turned on him. “You need to learn to case the area.”

“Oh honey, your shirt is all covered in dust,” Patton said instead of responding to his very valid criticism. Virgil frowned. “Let’s get you changed and then go grab some lunch.”

“Lunch?” Virgil asked.

Patton chuckled and grabbed his hand. “Yes, sweetie, lunch. Then garden.”

“Fine,” Virgil said. “But you do need to learn to be more observant.

“Yes, yes, whatever you say,” Patton said.

Logan just rolled his eyes.

  Chapter 30

After lunch, Patton and Logan took Virgil out into the garden to walk around. They let Virgil lead them around wherever he wanted to in the garden. A bunch more flowers had died since the last time they’d been out here, and Patton felt sad despite having never felt very sad about that sort of thing before. But, Virgil seemed to really like the flower he’d found last time, so Patton thought he was probably sad on the boy’s behalf.

Of course, Patton thought, perking up, eventually it would be spring, and Virgil could get to not only see flowers but see all of the flowers grow. Patton couldn’t wait to see him amongst the garden then.

 Virgil took them wandering through the orchard for a while, but most of the trees had been stripped of their fruits. They ended up in the food garden after a bit, and Virgil finally seemed to decide on the direction instead of just ambling about.

A few seconds after Patton noticed Virgil seemingly decide on a destination, Patton noticed Mr. Deknis kneeling on the ground a few feet away. Had… had Virgil been looking for him? Patton wondered. That was adorable.

Mr. Deknis looked up as they approached and smiled at them.

“Hello, Mr. Deknis,” Patton said as they came closer.

 “Hello you three,” Mr. Deknis said. “Getting into trouble?”

“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head.

Mr. Deknis gave him a flash of a smile. “I know, I’m joking,” he said. “Especially since there isn’t much left in my gardens for certain princes to destroy with experiments.”

“Oh, okay,” Virgil said. He tilted his head. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting the last of the acorn squash out,” Mr. Deknis replied. “It’s the last crop to get finished. Good thing too, it’s supposed to start snowing soon.”

Virgil looked down curiously at the dark green squash.

“Would you like to help me pick a couple?” Mr. Deknis asked.

 “Sure,” Virgil said, sounding interested. Mr. Deknis patted the ground beside him and Virgil knelt down to watch him.

“They’re not too difficult to harvest,” he said. “You just cut the fruit off the stem. You want to leave about a hand’s width of the stem left over which will help preserve moisture. The earlier harvests, I left in the field to cure in the sun for a couple weeks, but the frost’ll ruin them so we’ll take them inside the green house and let them sit in the sun for a bit there. We also want to keep the leaves. You’ll probably be eating those for dinner tonight since they have to be cooked up within about 24 hours after they’re picked. Patton’s mom makes a good side dish with them and she’ll be making some curry tomorrow, probably. Maybe some stew if there are some leftover.”

 “Put the squash in this wheelbarrow and the leaves into this pile, okay?” Virgil nodded and Mr. Deknis handed him the extra pair of gloves and shears he carried with him in case one set broke. “These might be a bit big on your, but they should work for now.”

Mr. Deknis looked up at Patton and Logan. “Would the two of you like to help?” he asked. “I can get some more equipment.”

“I can help out if you want, but you don’t need to stop and get more equipment just for me,” Patton said.

“The same for me,” Logan said.

“Well, if you’d like to help still, you can sort the leave. Give your mother a head start.”

 “Sure,” Patton said. He and Logan went to do that while Mr. Deknis and Virgil worked on cutting the squashes from the vine.

“What do you do during the winter?” Virgil asked curiously. “If this is your last crop.”

“Well, at the beginning, I mostly will be working on making sure things are stored correctly along with some of the kitchen staff. There’s some drying to do and some canning. After that’s done, I’ll spend some time organizing and planning. Then, before the spring comes, I’ll start preparing seedlings in the green house.”

“Seedlings?” he asked.

“I let seeds start to grow in the greenhouse that I replant once it gets warm enough.”

 “Why don’t you just plant them where they’re going?”

“I do for some,” he said, “but giving some a head start is good for them.”

Patton watched as Virgil continued to ask questions about gardening while working on harvesting the squash. Mr. Deknis continued to answer them in a calm, soft tone that Patton didn’t think he’d ever heard from the often gruff man before.

Patton wasn’t surprised when, after finishing getting most of the squash off of the vine, Mr. Deknis asked if Virgil wanted to help him with canning some pears in a couple of days. Virgil immediately looked over at Logan and Patton as though asking permission.

“Say yes if you want to Virgil,” Logan said.

 “Yes,” Virgil said as soon as he was given permission. Mr. Deknis smiled at him softly and started loading the last of the squash into the wheelbarrow. Patton offered to run the squash leaves to the kitchen while Logan and Virgil helped Mr. Deknis take the actual squash to the green house.

He dropped the leaves off to a kitchen worker since Mama was busy and headed back out to the garden. By the time he returned, Logan was already back from the green house and sitting by one of the more decorative trees near the castle.

“He’s exploring,” Logan said, nodding at the large patch of bushes.

 Patton chuckled. “I see.” He sat next to Logan. Every so often he’d hear the bushes rustle, but he couldn’t tell if it was actually Virgil or an animal.

“He’s adorable,” Patton commented, keeping an ear out.

Logan hummed.

“I’m glad we kept him.”

“He isn’t a pet, Patton.”

Patton rolled his eyes. “I know, but I’m still glad. I’m glad he’s making friends with Mr. Deknis. Once he knows how to read better, we should get him a book about gardening. He seems interested.”

Logan nodded. “Having a hobby would be good for him. Clearly he has a fascination with the garden.” He nodded to the blur of dark hair that could be seen through the bushes. It seemed Virgil had stopped his exploration and was now laying down in the bushes a few feet away.

 “I’m going to go see what he’s doing,” Patton said. “I’ll be right back.”

Logan nodded and Patton got to his feet. The bushes were part of a small maze that was filled with flowers during the spring and summer months but were mostly just green and brown bushes for now. Despite the fact that Patton had been able to see him only a few feet away, it took him a while to wind through the path to where he was. When he finally turned the last corner and he came into view, Patton gasped softly.

“Ghost kitty!” he said, making sure to make his voice as quiet as possible.

 Despite how soft he made his voice, two pairs of eyes shot over to him. The completely black kitten was perched on Virgil’s lap like she belonged there. Ghost Kitty hissed slightly, but Virgil reached forward to pet her head gently.

“This is Ghost Kitty?” Virgil asked. “I thought you said she was hard to pet.”

“She is,” Patton said. He lowered himself onto the ground from a few feet away from them. “How did you get her to come to you?”

Virgil glanced down at the cat and shrugged, scratching one of her ears. “She just came over to me and let me pet her.”

 “Wow,” Patton said softly. He looked at the cat. “Could I pet you sweetie?” he asked, holding out a hand in her direction. She hissed again.

Virgil frowned down at her. “It’s Patton,” he said as though he expected to understand his words and the exasperation in the tone he said them in.

He pet the cat’s head to soothe her and then reached over to grab Patton’s hand. He pulled and Patton carefully leaned a bit closer until his hand was within sniffing distance. Ghost Kitty sniffed his fingers contemplatively and then bumped her head against it. He barely restrained a squeal, knowing that probably wouldn’t be taken well.

 He carefully turned his hand over so he could stroke the top of her head. He gently scratched her ear, not daring to go for under her chin yet since she didn’t know him well. “Hi,” he said softly. After a moment, she started to purr softly. Virgil reached over and scratched under her chin and she purred louder. “Oh, you’re a good girl,” Patton breathed, letting a hand trail gently down her back once and then again. Patton settled himself carefully into a seating position continuing to pet her. After a few more moments of soft petting, she hesitantly stepped her front paws onto Patton’s thigh so she was sitting in both of their laps. Patton laughed softly. “Hi sweetie.” He glanced over at Virgil who had a wide smile on his face as he pet the cat. This. This was adorable. They continued to pet the cat for a very long time.

  Chapter 31

Logan waited for a while after Patton left to check on Virgil, but the two never resurfaced. It was odd, Patton would usually remember to come back and get Logan or at least tell them where they were. With a sigh, Logan climbed to his feet to go find them. It took him a while to weave his way through the maze of bushes to them especially because they were suspiciously quiet (Well, suspicious for Patton. Virgil was often unnervingly quiet when alone.) Luckily, he knew the bushes enough after all of these years not to get lost and managed to find the two after a few minutes.

“Ah,” he said, immediately identifying the reason for Patton disappearing.

 “Logan!” Patton said, his voice excited, but also quieter than normal. “We found a kitty!”

“I can see that,” Logan responded, taking a step closer. The cat hissed at him in response. The hissing was so intense and wild that he’d suspect the thing was feral if it wasn’t happily on Virgil’s lap having had it’s head in Patton’s lap before Logan had approached.

“No,” Virgil told the animal as though it could understand words. “That’s Logan. Be nice.”

The cat still glared at him and swished it’s tail back and forth threateningly. Virgil pet the top of it’s head and it broke eye contact with Logan to purr.

 Patton seemed delighted by the purring, reaching to stroke under the thing’s chin carefully. “We should give her a name!” Patton said.

Virgil frowned. “I thought her name was Ghost Kitty.”

“That is ‘Ghost Kitty’?” Logan asked skeptically. From what Patton had said about that cat, it was terrified of people and no one could ever get near it, even him. Now it was in Virgil’s lap?

“But that was a temporary name,” Patton said, “for before we officially met her. Now we have to give her a real name.”

“Do not give it a name,” Logan said. “You will get attached.”

 “How do you name a cat?” Virgil asked.

“Do not name it,” Logan said.

“You give them names based on their personalities, how they look, or even just because it’s a cute name,” Patton explained. “Like, remember Mittens? I named her Mittens because she has white fur and black paws!”

Virgil looked at the cat. “She’s completely black,” he said.

Patton hummed. “So, we could give her a name based on that like Midnight or Shadow.”

“Those are fine,” Virgil said.

“No, no,” Patton said. “I’m just giving you examples. You get to name her yourself.”

“This is a bad idea,” Logan said.

 “Just throw out some names,” Patton said. “Anything you can think of.”

“Uh,” Virgil said. “Knife.”

“…Just Knife?” Patton asked.

“Nightmare.” Virgil seemed to think about it. “No, that’s mean.”

“How about things you like?” Patton suggested.

“Alfredo?”

Oh no, Logan thought, he was worse than Patton at cat naming.

“Good start,” Patton said. “Logan, do you have any suggestions.”

“Cat,” Logan said.

“Real suggestions,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and thought for a moment. “Aphrodite.”

“Catphrodite!”

Logan glared at him. “Helena.”

“Helenpaw.”

“Claudia.”

“Clawdia.”

“Persephone.”

Patton smiled at him, cheerfully.

“…Damnit!”

Patton turned to Virgil again. “Like that! They don’t even have to be serious. Like, uh, you could name her Madam Fluffywuffykins the Great!”

“Do not name her that,” Logan said, scrunching up his nose.

 Logan sat on the ground, the cat eyeing him, but no longer hissing. Logan gently guided them towards more sensible names despite Patton trying his hardest to drag them into stupidity.

Virgil still didn’t quite get it. He mostly tried to name it after foodstuff, and often not even appropriate foodstuff such as “Corn” and “Acorn Squash” and “Sandwich” and occasionally would drop in semi violent ones such as “Razor,” “Nightshade” and “Void.” Patton suggested names like “Fluffers,” “Bobette” and “Darling” as well as some that were puns. Logan tried to direct them towards more sensible ones like “Salem” and even went so low as to suggest the contrary “Snowball.”

 It quickly seemed to become less about actually naming the cat and more of a game. Patton had taught Virgil about playing with cats and had even gotten out a ball of yarn he cared around for his crafts. Both Virgil and the cat seemed to find endless entertainment with that. Logan hoped Patton had another ball of yarn that color because, he was never going to get that ball back.

The barrage of names fizzled out into naming things around them like “Leaf” and “Bush” until they stopped suggesting names altogether. Patton and Logan sat back and watched Virgil play with the cat.

 Logan watched as they stopped playing suddenly and Virgil and the cat squinted at each other. “Marisol,” Virgil said, pulling the name out of nowhere. “That’s her name.” He said it with a certainty that was surprising considering how he’d treated the naming process with confusion and caution earlier. If Logan did not know better, his tone of voice would indicate that the cat, or Marisol he guessed, had gotten bored of them coming up with stupid names and decided to tell him her actual name herself.

The cat made a sound and batted at Virgil’s face without claws to grab back his attention.

 He turned back to it and bopped its face with a finger in kind. It attacked his finger, but in a clearly playful matter as it still did not extend it’s claws and its teeth did not draw blood.

“That’s a great name, Virgil,” Patton said.

“Much more pleasant than any that Patton suggested all afternoon,” Logan said. He received an elbow to the side for his quip.

“A pretty name for a pretty kitty,” Patton said, scooting over to where Virgil was sat and attempting to pet Marisol’s head. Marisol, however, was too keyed up and batted at the hand.

 “I love you too!” Patton said.

Logan rolled his eyes, but he had long since resigned himself to watching the two of them play with and coo over the cat for the rest of the day.

Eventually, though, it started to get darker. Even after Logan pointed this out, it still took over an hour for them to relent and leave the bush maze to go to the door. The problem was of course, that the cat had managed to grow very attached to Virgil in the last few hours and she followed them all the way to the door with manipulatively heart breaking mews.

 “You’ve got to stay out here,” Virgil said, when they got to the castle door. He pet her ear softly and she shoved her head into his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t have anywhere to put you.” He sounded horribly sad about that fact and Logan felt himself shift uncomfortably. “I basically live in a closet and Logan doesn’t like cats in his room anyway.”

Logan immediately felt unreasonably guilty, probably more so because Logan did not think Virgil was trying to make him feel guilty. “…Bring the dammed thing inside.”

Virgil blinked up at him. “What?”

“It will get cold soon anyway,” Logan said.

He frowned at Logan from where he was crouched. “But you don’t like fur in your room…”

“I will have to find a potion that works,” he said with a sigh, “and we’ll have to say it’s mine to the guards and Father since it will be staying in my room, but it is yours in every other way. That means you are going to feed it, clean it, and clean up after it.”

Virgil nodded immediately and swooped Marisol up in his arms. The cat went without complaint. “Thank you!” he said. “I love her.”

“I know you do,” Logan said, already regretting it already. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to even consider recanting the offer considering how happy Virgil seemed to be. They had a cat now, he guessed.

  Chapter 32

“What are you doing?” Helen asked a few minutes after her son walked into the kitchen and started looking around as though he were trying to find something. It was a few hours into the afternoon, and she and a few workers were already prepping for dinner.

“Uh,” Patton said. “Have you seen Virgil?”

“No,” Helen said. “Why.”

“Er… Logan and I sorta, lost him,” Patton said. He was wringing his hands anxiously. Helen put down the knife in her hand.

“What do you mean you lost him?” she asked.

“Well, see, we were trying to teach him how to play hide and seek, um, but then we didn’t think to tell him that he eventually had to come out if we didn’t find him, and now we haven’t seen him since breakfast.”

 “He didn’t know what tag is?” she asked. That was just one more thing to add to the list of why Helen worried about Virgil and where he came from. Every morsel of information she’d managed to wring from Patton despite his evasions made her lists of concerns grow larger, even little things like him not knowing about simple childhood games. Actually, thinking of concerning things having to do with Virgil. “Wait, so he hasn’t eaten lunch.”

“Um, we don’t know that,” Patton’s mouth said while his eyes said ‘no.’

“He needs to be on a consistent diet, especially when he’s still taking the malnutrition potion,” she scolded.

 “I know, Mama, I know,” Patton said. “I’m trying to find him. I’d kinda hoped he’d gotten hungry and snuck down here. He probably wouldn’t want to risk being caught stealing food though.”

Helen grimaced. Yet another concerning thing.

“Wait! I have an idea, I’ll be right back.” Patton turned and ran out of the room. Helen frowned at the space he’d been and finished chopping the carrot on the cutting board in front of her. If it had been any other person in the castle missing, Helen wouldn’t have worried, but she had literally never seen Virgil without Patton and/or Logan by his side. Even when he’d gone to help Jeff can some fruit, Logan had reportedly hung around to read a book.

 Considering that Logan had never exactly been clingy even with Patton, she imagined that either Virgil asked, or Logan thought he should stay with him for his comfort. So, she was surprised that he was apparently hidden away somewhere in the castle where neither of the other kids could find him.

Still thinking about this, she walked over to the entrance to the cellar below the kitchen where they stored most of the vegetables, planning to grab some more carrots. She was confused for a moment when she heard movement from deeper in the pantry. She reached over and touched the panel near the door that controlled the magic lights.

 The newly illuminated figure startled as the lights came on, whipping around to stare at her with wide eyes.

“Virgil?” she asked.

“Sorry,” he said immediately, taking a step back.

“It’s fine,” she said immediately, “but what are you doing here?”

He considered her for a long moment, but apparently, she passed some sort of mental test, because he relaxed, at least as much as he’d ever relaxed in her presence. “Where are we?” he asked.

Her brow knit together. “The cellar under the kitchen,” she said, “You don’t know that?”

He shook his head.

“The only entrance is from the kitchen.” Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen him go through the kitchen at any point.

 “No, it’s not,” Virgil said. “There’s a tunnel.”

“A-a tunnel?” she asked. Actually, taking a closer look at him, he seemed a bit grimy. He had dust all over his front and dirt on his nose. She thought he might even have a couple of cobwebs in his hair.

“Yep,” he said.

“Where’s the tunnel?” she asked.

“It’s right over here,” he said. He took a couple of steps and pointed to the ground. There was an open square hole there that clearly had been made a long time ago but which she had never noticed in all of her time working here.

 “How did you find this?” she asked.

“We were playing hide and seek,” Virgil explained. “Logan said I could hide anywhere inside the castle. I hid on top of a dresser upstairs in some unused sitting room. There was a hole in the wall above it, so I climbed into it. Then, I crawled a little bit and it let out into a hidden passage in the walls. I wandered around in it until I found another hole in one of the walls. I thought it was a way out, so I squeezed into it, but it took me to a different hallway where I found an old room. There was a different hole in that room that had probably been covered by something because it was in the floor but whatever it was had rotted away. I crawled though it into a tunnel and came out here.”

 She couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his explanation. “Well, it sounds like you went on an adventure,” she said, “but Patton and Logan have been trying to find you. You missed lunch.”

He tilted his head at her. “I know. I was supposed to hide.”

“Yes,” she explained, “but you are supposed to come out at some point if they can’t find you for things like food.”

“Oh,” he said.

“They probably should have explained,” she said. “For now, why don’t we get you something to eat? You must be hungry.”

Virgil frowned. “But I missed lunch.”

“You can still eat even though it’s not in normal hours,” she said. “You could even if you had made it to lunch.”

 “Really?” he asked, he looked tragically confused by this offer.

“Of course, sweetie,” she said. “In fact, I insist you get something good to eat right now. How about I made you a grilled ham and cheese sandwich? Maybe some cookies too!”

Virgil titled his head. “You are Patton’s mother,” he stated.

Helen laughed softly. “He gets its all from me,” she said. “We should probably go find him and tell him you’re okay. He was worried.”

“I didn’t mean to worry him,” Virgil said with a frown.

“I know,” Helen said. “It’s okay. He’ll probably laugh when he figures out where you’ve been, and Logan will interrogate you all about the secret passageways.” He seemed happy about the prospect of seeing his friends. “Come on, let’s go upstairs for a bit,” she said.

  Chapter 33

Patton’s mom had already made Virgil sit down at the small table in the corner of the kitchen and had handed him a sandwich by the time Patton barreled into the kitchen, Logan coming after him at a more sedate pace.

“Virgil!” he said, sounding surprised and relieved.

“Patton,” Patton’s mom scolded. “No cats in the kitchen.” Patton had brought Marisol in with him and had let her go as soon as he’d seen Virgil. She immediately plodded over to him and hoped onto the table to sniff at his face in greeting.

“But she’s the princess!” Patton argued.

“No,” Logan said.

 “Yes, she is!” Patton said.

“The stupid cat is not a princess.”

“Don’t be mean to your little sister, Logan.”

“I regret every life decision that has led me to this point.”

While Logan and Patton were distracted squabbling and Patton’s mom was distracted watching them squabble, Virgil tore off a bit of the ham in his sandwich and offered it to Marisol. Marisol gracefully took it from his grip and ate it.

“So, this is Logan’s new cat I’ve been hearing about?” Patton’s mom asked.

“Indeed,” Logan said, his lips thinned. He and Marisol were mostly amicable when alone with just them and Virgil, but Patton had a habit of cooing over the kitten and needling Logan into being irritated.

 “Mmm, yeah,” Patton’s mom said. She glanced over at Virgil right as Marisol basically slammed her face into his chin in a bid to get pets. “Your cat.” She shook her head. “But Princess Kitten or not, I do not want fur in dinner,” she said.

“Sorry,” Patton said, honestly not sounding sorry at all. Virgil was always a bit surprised when the insolent shrug garnered nothing more that a scowl that did not reach Patton’s mom’s eyes. “I thought she could help me find Virgil, but you already found him.” He turned to Virgil. “Where have you been all day?”

 “Found a tunnel,” Virgil said. He had to use one hand to hold Marisol back from his sandwich as he took another bite, but then gave her a bite of cheese.

“You found what?” Logan asked.

“There’s a tunnel under the cellar,” Virgil said. “It goes to an old closed up room and also to a set of secret passageways.” It was a bit of a security risk honestly, though clearly no one had used it in years by how dirty it was. He did plan to go back into it and make sure the sprawling tunnels didn’t go to anywhere more dangerous like the royal wing.

 “A closed-up room?” Logan said. He could see a bit of curiosity already building in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “Where the door used to be seemed like it had been bricked over.”

“Really? Can you show me.”

“Sure,” Virgil answered.

“Ah, perhaps we should be a bit more cautious about climbing through random tunnels we don’t know the stability of,” Patton’s mom said.

Logan’s frown edged on a pout.

“Talk to your father,” she said. “I’m sure he can get someone who understands these things so you can safely investigate.”

“It was safe enough for Virgil,” Logan pointed out.

 “No, Logan.”

He sighed but seemed to concede. That was another strange thing about living here. By all rights Logan didn’t have to obey anyone except the king, but he often listened to those around him, not just the adults but Patton as well. It was interesting though it sometimes made the hierarchy hard to figure out. Virgil did sometimes stress out about the hypothetical situation where he got conflicting orders from two people, and he wouldn’t know which one to obey. So far it hadn’t been a problem luckily. They always seemed to work it out amongst themselves in some give and take social interaction that was a bit too complex for him to understand.

 Patton walked over to where Virgil was sitting. “I’m glad your safe,” he said. “We should probably put a time limit on hide and seek in the future, so you know when to come out.”

“Did I win?” Virgil asked. He’d honestly forgotten they’d been playing a game until Patton’s mom had asked how he’d found his way into the cellar.

Patton laughed. “I’d say so, yeah,” he replied. He leaned over to kiss Virgil’s forehead, but drew back immediately with a pinched expression. “You are… very dirty,” he said, rubbing his mouth.

Virgil nodded. “Your mom made me sit on a tablecloth,” he said gesturing to the fabric she’d laid over the chair.

 Patton snorted out a laugh. “We’ll get you into the bath when you’re done eating and you can tell us all about your little adventure.”

“I would also like to hear about your discoveries,” Logan said. “Though you are not allowed to sit on the bed until you do not have spider webs in your hair.”

Patton’s eyes widened and he jumped away from Virgil, startling both Virgil and Marisol. The latter hopped from the table onto Virgil’s lap. “Spiders?!”

Virgil tilted his head at him in confusion.

“He isn’t a fan of spiders,” Logan informed him, his voice amused at Patton’s reaction.

 Apparently deciding that she was no longer startled, but more confused by the noises Patton had just made, Marisol jumped out of Virgil’s lap to investigate, wrapping her way around Patton’s legs. He bent down to pat her back, though he still looked a bit startled.

“Your cat, huh?” Patton’s mom asked Logan once again. Virgil studied her. She had apparently missed Logan mentioning that he allowed Virgil on the bed. Or perhaps Logan was correct in his insistence that it wasn’t actually that big of a deal here. Virgil would rather not test that assumption, however, so was glad that it had been distracted from by Patton’s outburst.

 “Creepy, crawly death dealers,” Patton mumbled into Marisol’s fur, having picked her back up. Virgil made a note to not inform Patton of all of the different types of spiders he’d seen skittering around in the castle walls today. Maybe he’d talk about them with Logan once Patton left. He’d probably be interested. Virgil had seen some he’d never seen before! Logan probably could even help him figure out what their names were. “You’ll protect me, won’t you kitty?” Patton asked Marisol.

She made a little ‘burrrr’ sound in response, which Patton seemed to take a confirmation.

“Aw thank you, baby! Such a good baby.”

50234

Virgil popped the rest of the sandwich into his mouth. Patton’s mom turned away and grabbed a plate stacked with cookies. She handed it to Logan. “Take these, and please get the health hazards out of my kitchen,” she requested.

Logan took them without complaint. “Come on, Virgil,” he said. “Let’s go get you clean.”

“We’re going to need so much soap,” Patton said.

Virgil looked down at himself. “I can go outside and get most of it off if you get me a bucket of water,” he offered.

“Virgil, it’s below freezing,” Logan said as though that had a baring on what he’d just said. Logan sighed. “No. Bathtub.” Virgil shrugged. “Honestly,” Logan said. He turned with the plate of cookies in his hand, clearly expecting to be followed. “You’re not going to catch your death pouring a bucket of water over yourself in the cold when there are literally over a hundred perfectly good bathtubs in this castle. For goodness sakes.” And well, Virgil wasn’t going to complain.

  Chapter 34

Patton, to be completely honest, was not all that interested in the room that Virgil had found. Beyond just the fact that it would definitely have creepy crawly death dealers in it, he really did not understand the intrigue. If it had just been him, he probably would have just let a castle worker deal with it, but it was not just him. Logan was ecstatic with the prospect of investigating a secret in the castle. People who didn’t know him well may not believe it considering he spent most of his time with his nose in a book, but he was an adventurer at heart.

 Thomas had been easily swayed into finding someone to help tear down part of the wall into the secret tunnel near the room (so no one would have to crawl through the kitchen cellar like Virgil). It had taken a few days, however, and Logan was practically bouncing off the walls waiting. Virgil, despite having already seen the room before, also seemed excited, though if that was because of his own curiosity or because he was just excited that Logan seemed so exited remained to be seen.

“They are silly, aren’t they,” Patton asked Princess Marisol. He was laying on his stomach on Logan’s bed and Princess Marisol had just put her little paw on his nose.

 “Yes, I agree,” he said. “Don’t they know that we’re literally going to be 2 feet away from the normal hallway?”

“It is not silly,” Logan defended himself. “Any number of things could go wrong.” He sounded far too excited about the prospect of something going terribly wrong. “The tunnels could cave in and block off the exit or there could be some unknown pathogen in the air.”

Patton did not ruin his fun by mentioning that Logan’s dad had definitely basically baby proofed the tunnels for them ahead of time. Instead, he just said, “Don’t let Virgil hear you say that sort of thing. It will just stress him out.”

 “Yes, yes, of course,” he said, waving off Patton’s concerns as he mulled over two different weird green planty things (potion ingredients, Patton assumed) before setting one aside and sticking the other in his bag.

“So silly,” Patton cooed at the cat. Logan let out a huff but did not choose to say anything about it this time.

Speaking of silly, Virgil came back from Logan’s bathroom then, and Patton tried not to giggle. “Is this right?” Virgil asked, sounding and looking confused. Logan, in his overexcitement about adventure had commissioned Virgil an outfit that actually fit. Said outfit, however, very much made it look more like Virgil was going on a safari instead of a two-foot detour from the normal castle hallway.

 “Almost,” Logan said, “Here, let me.” Logan started straightening everything out and flattening the collar, reminding Patton of an overbearing parent on picture day. Virgil accepted the fussing without protest. It was adorable. Well, the outfit was ridiculous, but still, adorable. “There,” Logan said. “I think we’re ready to go now.”

It was about time. Patton was sure people were already waiting for them downstairs. Patton got up and patted Princess Marisol on the head. She looked up at them with interest.

“You can stay here, sweetie,” Patton told here. She seemed to consider it and then hopped down from the bed to go rub up against Virgil.

 Patton guessed she was coming. It didn’t matter too much since Logan had given her a magical collar that allowed her to open most doors in the castle and everyone knew she was the royal cat now, so if she decided she wanted to come back to the room and nap, she could. (She was very aware of the power she held.)

She pranced happily by Virgil’s side all the way down the steps to the first floor of the castle. She was such a good kitty.

Well, she did hiss angrily at everyone who came too close to them, but still, a very good kitty.

 Patton did lean down and pick her up so they could actually talk to the man waiting for them at the large hole in the wall. Logan went to talk to the castle worker while Virgil half hid behind Patton. He was clearly listening very intently to the conversation however, at least more intently than Patton was. Patton was busy shaking his head fondly.

“Yes, yes, Princess,” he said to the cat. “I know we do not trust the strangers, but I promise this stranger is perfectly safe.”

“How do you know?” Virgil asked.

“His name is Chester and I’ve known him since I was 9.”

[charliesradiodemon]

Arranged Marriage (Part 6)

Part 1  Part 5

(Ping reminders for: @ariloucii @wargraymon0709 @in-to–deep @norski28 @the-red-milk @seekerbea @aclusterfuckofeverything If you want a ping reminder, comment, reply or dm me!

I’m amazed with the amount of people who like my fic and honestly I didn’t think this would go far haha Thank you all for your support and contributions for the Charlastor community!

EDIT 3/17/2020: I have rewritten this chapter and will continue to do so with the rest!)

Part 6

Charlie woke feeling incredibly well rested. It may have been due to her emotionally taxing day yesterday, but she somehow slept through the whole night without issue. A part of her felt guilty for how well she slept, but it also made her feel silly for thinking so. 

With a sigh, she turned onto her side as she recounted her day yesterday. Through her painful day, Alastor of all people was there to comfort her in his own strange way. 

He even promised to stay until she fell asleep, just as she had asked. Charlie half expected him to brush her off, especially after his odd reaction to her near-touch. But surprisingly enough he agreed. And as a man of his word, he indeed stayed until she drifted off to sleep. Her face warmed as she also remembered how she’d held onto his hand as he sat beside her. 

It was Saturday, a free day at the hotel, and one of Charlie’s only days off. Saturday was a day for the sinners of the hotel to do as they wished- preferably inside the hotel’s walls. It was a day of self reflection to allow the sinners to pick up their own hobbies and put in their own effort toward redemption. Being in hotel at all times kept them out of trouble and focused on rehabilitation, but they were also allowed to leave and do as they please. 

As for Charlie, she’d use the day to talk to whoever stuck around the hotel and plan the coming week’s activities. At the end of the day she’d normally watch a movie or binge a series with Vaggie, but it might not be the best idea considering the recent events around them. Besides her assumed broken tradition with Vaggie, today should be no different. She’d been living with this schedule for half a year now and she planned to stick to it. 

With a determined huff and and smile, Charlie sat up in bed. But as she did so, she noticed a familiar red figure at the other end of the room and froze. It was Alastor.

“He stayed the night.” Charlie whispered to herself. She scooted off the bed and fixed her nightgown before quietly walking up to the motionless form on her couch.

Sure enough it was Alastor, sitting upright, legs and arms crossed, a small close-lipped smile and his eyes closed. Had she not seen how slowly he breathed, Charlie would have assumed he was awake and waiting. Charlie leaned over and got close. ‘I guess even Alastor needs to sleep.’ She mused in her head. She’d never seen him sleep before and she’d never seen him so still and peaceful either. He was usually bouncing with energy and enthusiasm whenever he was around her.  

“Can I help you Charlie?” Alastor asked suddenly. Alastor’s bright red eyes shot open and stared straight back at the demoness.

“HOLY-“ Charlie jumped back immediately and nearly tripped on the rug, sending her limbs flailing about as she caught herself from tumbling. 

Alastor chuckled and rested his elbow on the armrest. He plopped his head on his open palm and watched Charlie try to calm herself. “Sorry if I startled you sweetheart, but watching people sleep is quite rude you know!” He grinned widely and continued to chuckle.

After collecting herself, Charlie took a few deep breaths to calm herself. “No, I’m sorry. I woke you up and I was… being kinda weird…” she looked away and fiddled with her unkempt hair. The pout on her face made Alastor’s flutter and he nearly forgot where he was for a moment. 

That was, until he took a good look at her hair. “No worries dear. I had a good laugh out of it,” he mused. He then pointed at her hair and raised an eyebrow. “By the way that is a fine nest you have!” Charlie shot him a confused look to be met with a smug grin.

When she turned and walked to her vanity she yelped, “What? How’d it get this bad?” She sat herself down and began running her fingers through her hair to get the tangled mess under control. With her frantic tugging, she kept getting her fingers snagged on the knots. She let out an exasperated sigh, signaling her quick defeat. “I mean it’s never perfect in the morning, but it’s never been this bad before! I need to get Razzle and Dazzle!” She shot up from her stool.

But before she could head for the door, two claw-like hands rested on her shoulders. Looking up in her vanity mirror, she saw Alastor holding her in place. “No need! I can take care of it if you’d like.” he materialized a brush from nowhere and gently pushed her down to sit. Saying nothing, Charlie sat back down and continued to watch him through the mirror. 

He went straight to work once she settled. Instead of going head first with the brush, Alastor set it aside and instead used his fingers to untangle any nasty snags that could get caught in the brush. It was so strange how thoughtful and careful he was as his pointed claws occasionally brushed over her scalp. Charlie even closed her eyes as he worked, clearly enjoying the sensation. 

Once Alastor deemed it satisfactory, he took the brush he’d summoned and gently brushed through her golden locks all while humming. 

Charlie’s butlers Razzle and Dazzle would normally brush Charlie’s long and voluptuous hair, but never had it felt this good. From the soft brushes of her scalp to the gliding of a brush through her hair, Charlie didn’t notice the content smile that graced her face. 

Alastor, however had. He watched the princess’ expression soften through the mirror with amusement. Was she truly this naive? Despite being at the mercy of the Radio Demon, one of the most feared overlords in Hell, she’d put her full trust in him and relaxed into his touch, even. The moment reminded him how just last night she asked him to stay until she fell asleep. It still racked his brain how she could be so at ease with him in the room. But most of all he wondered why exactly he decided to stay by her side the whole night. Or why he volunteered to brush her hair so carefully. 

“You have quite a lot of hair you know,” Alastor joked in an attempt to get his mind off of his confusing thoughts. He’d ponder on it more later, now was just not the time. 

Charlie’s eyes shot open, and Alastor could have sworn his heart skipped a beat at the sight. Even when he attempted to get his mind off of what she did to him, she still somehow managed to get his heart off-beat. So much so Alastor was beginning to think that he was merely experiencing heart palpitations. “You must get it from your mother.” he finished, trying to keep himself calm and collected. Charlie smiled soberly and nodded.

“Yeah, I get that a lot. It’s why I don’t ever wanna cut it, because it reminds me of my mom.” she chuckled and brought her gaze down to the floor, deep in thought. 

What was her mother dong? She still hadn’t called, nor had she picked up any of Charlie’s calls in the past few days. She must have been busy with wedding preparations, but couldn’t she just spare a couple of minutes for her daughter? She’d just gotten engaged! 

With his eyes still fixed on Charlie’s face, Alastor hadn’t realized that he’d thoroughly brushed though the demoness’ hair a while ago. He was so engrossed in the softness of her locks and his heart palpitations, he’d completely lost focus. He stopped brushing, but part of him didn’t want to stop just yet. So instead he started to do something else to Charlie’s hair, which promptly caught her attention. The gentle tugging told Charlie he was probably braiding her hair. “I bet you must be excited to see your mother today.” he commented. 

“Yeah- wait,” she slammed her palms on the table, stood and whipped her head around to face Alastor. The braid that he’d started came undone in the action, but Alastor didn’t care. Not when his fiancee’s beautiful demonic form began to peek out. Alastor’s grin widened in anticipation and his fluttering heart began racing.

“WHAT?” She shrieked, yet Alastor didn’t flinch. Charlie began pacing away from the vanity, muttering wildly with a hand over her mouth. Her wide eyed gaze was fixed on the ground. Alastor couldn’t understand what she was saying but he did notice that her horns were present and her nails seemed longer than usual. He took Charlie’s seat at the vanity and sighed contentedly at the sight of her. He had to admit that she certainly was a belle, but this side of her was a unique sort of beauty that he could appreciate. 

She looked to him pleadingly. “What should I do?” she cried before returning to her frantic pacing.

With a confused yet amused expression, Alastor asked, “Are you not excited to see her?” The demoness snapped her head to look at him once more with her ruby-red eyes. 

However the visible part of her true form retracted as quickly as it appeared with just a blink. Charlie stopped her pacing and sighed. “It’s not that. I just haven’t seen her in a long time and she hasn’t returned any of my calls,” she ran a hand through her hair and shook her head with a groan. “I-I just don’t know what to say to her Al.” 

“Why not just start with a simple ‘hello’?”

Charlie groaned in frustration again. “Come on, be serious!” She turned back around to pace with her hands tangled in her hair.

“Oh I am though,” he stood to full height and walked up to her to grab her by the scruff of her nightgown and effectively stopping her from pacing endlessly again. Once she stilled in his grasp, he released her before continuing, “The reaction to a simple smile and a ‘hello’ tells you everything you need to know about a person! See where you go with it sweetheart. Not to mention your mother would be pleased to see your gorgeous smile.”

Charlie turned and shot him an unsure look. When he didn’t falter from his confidently wide grin, she shrugged. “I guess it’s better than nothing. Thanks for the advice, Al.” she crossed her arms and turned away. The unsure tone of her voice did not comfort Alastor’s inner concern one bit. 

‘Concern? For her?’ He thought. When was the last time he’d felt concerned for anyone? And when was the last time he’d felt the need to truly comfort someone?

Alastor took each of her shoulders in his hands, causing her to look up at him. “Chin up my dear, everything should be going uphill from here on, trust me.” his calm, nearly radio-less voice and his closed lipped smile somehow eased Charlie and she relaxed under his touch. 

A soft, appreciative smile melted onto her face, sending his heart into a beating frenzy.  

He quickly let her go, letting his searing touch linger on her shoulders. “Now, after your little hotel duties, we have to go meet your mother to finish the details!” Alastor said quickly before briskly exiting the room and gently shut the door.

Charlie brought her hand to her shoulder where his hand had lain and felt her heart skip a beat.

PART 7 HERE 

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 14 - WangXian are a (v soft) Battle Couple & Foxglove is hella mad

Hi! Welcome to episode 14. I should be studying. It’s day two of morning runs, so my soul has left my body already, send help. Yesterday I went to buy plants with my mum and got so excited I just whacked on a bunch of eyeshadow because I haven’t seen the outside in weeks, I’m also wearing makeup today, because I have nowhere to go, but I really need to finish this bb cream before it goes bad, so my parents are getting my full fresh faced “woke up like this and put on mascara” routine (which is a fucking lie because I’m wearing at least three blushes and two highlighters). I’m determined to get this bitch down in under five minutes so I can have another five to do eyeshadow, I have way too much eyeshadow to not wear it (I have way too much everything except maybe mascara and eyebrow stuff).

Yes, if y’all were wondering I am in fact a makeup magpie. ANYWAY BACK TO THE ACTUAL THING WE ALL CAME HERE FOR.

(Btw further down I discuss once again how shitty I think the Yunmeng sibs’ parents are if that causes an issue for you)

Ok ok ok, so I was talking with damnpoe-2187 here about how we found that sometimes WWX crossed from gremlin into asshole when he tried to get LWJ riled up. Like in the Cold Springs, putting our shippers hearts aside, that was a dick move and he should have stopped undressing the second LWJ went from annoyed to incredibly uncomfortable. I find this scene the complete opposite, a show of character development if you will. It is kind of similar in that they’re both hurt, and alone (although this time is much more serious) and there was some undressing going on; however WWX here behaves like a fool in love considerate person and knowing how uncomfortable LWJ already is tries to make it easier for him. They’re also super soft and I’m weak.

A brief interlude from my one track mind: That pond is full of corpses isn’t it? Or at least the remnants of the Murder Turtle’s meals I suppose. Damn right WWX should not have gone into the water with an open wound, but think no one should go swimming in there without a full hazmat suit tbh (I want to pump them full of antibiotics at this point ngl)

So I love this tiny montage (is it even a montage) of the, getting themselves ready to kill the Murder Turtle.

Teamwooooooork.

Listen, I have read a few fics in which their mind-meld stays in place due to reasons and I need me more of those.

Ok, turtles don’t work that way, but then again, giant murder snake-Trex-turtle so that’s low on my list of priorities. What’s not low is the fact that this guy is knee deep into pretty much a mass grave and I want to take a few showers just watching him.

Yeah, I know exactly what he’s smelling and suddenly I hope I don’t have meat for lunch today tbh.

The screaming sword has always been fucking creepy and does LWJ’s fist clench mean that he’s also hearing them?

BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE!

So I know killing the thing took them something like six hours. And while it feels quite a long time in the show, I think that, if they cut the scene with idk, JC running towards Lotus Pier, then back to them, then back to JC, but now the sun is in a different position, back to them, but now the blood from LWJ’s hand has dripped down his arm; and so on a so forth it’d convey more clearly how long it took for the Murder Turtle to die. I know fuck all about cinematography tho so feel free to ignore all this if it is in fact an abomination.

Tiiiiiiny interlude here to say that Yiling Patriarch!WWX is probably one of my favourite character archetypes. He’s slightly creepy, slightly amoral (smiling while torturing and murdering bad guys is still amoral ok), more than a bit on the Dark Side, cocky, smirky, a bit of an asshole a BAMF, a rebel with cause and yet he will still do the right thing, not despite his nature, but because of it. He’s kind of like a Chipped Spike? But you know, he doesn’t need electroshock to behave.

I just want a fic where he’s this Dark Lord of Evil in everyone’s eyes however the ‘good guys’ take a break from trying to off him because a bigger threat just popped up and they have no choice but to ask for his help. He agrees, keeps being his charming self while also saving everyone’s asses, LWJ is smitten.

TL;DR: The Necromancer is hot. Oh and nobody dare deny LWJ has a Yiling Patriarch kink.

Oh my, this is the part when I always get teary eyed.

WUJI ON A CELLO? DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME?

“Why hasn’t Jiang Cheng shown up and rescued me yet?” THIS IS ALL THE PROOF I NEED THAT WWX IS THE BABY SIBLING.

“Lan Zhan sing me a song”

IT IS HAPPENING, STAY FUCKING CALM EVERYBODY (I’m crying)

That slideshow of their best moments set to WuJi is a masterpiece, and also, it kind of drives home the point of “how tf did we go from flirting during summer camp to this mess”?

(Btw if that’s YiBo humming he’s got one hell of a deep voice)

Ok ok ok, so this moment had me spitting up my tea the first time I watched it. Believe it or not my dumbass thought these people were actually serious with the censorship and we’d get scraps of their actual relationship. Lots of charged moments like in some other western tv shows I’ve seen when two dudes have chemistry but “they’re not gay”, no longing glances, no tender touches, no being unbelievably soft with each other; just you know, amped up, because if I’m not mistaken you can be arrested in China for “promoting the gay”. I mean, they changed the beginning when people insult MXY’s sexuality to insulting his mental health; no one would think “ah yes, the gays are good” when they hear it used as a slur, but they still erased it completely. One of the things I thought they’d fully take away was WangXian, I mean, the into/outro is named Wuji, which, you know, still a mishmash of their names, but not their ship name. It is such a significant part of the story with all the “what’s the song name? Figure it out yourself” that if something were going to give away that they’re married with a kid it would be that. I thought we’d get an artful fade to black BEFORE LWJ would say the name not after. And also, YiBo is enunciating it so clearly that, even with the sound muffled and the blurriness I, who don’t speak Chinese, can make out the two syllables. That’s deliberate, I can say “WangXian” loud and clear without moving my lips too much. At this point in time I must assume someone in charge of looking for censorship violations in the show is a fan and just ignored it.

Censorship person 1: dude, isn’t that a bit too gay, maybe you shouldn’t greenlight it.

Censorship person 2: shut the fuck up, sit here and watch.

*a full rundown of the whole of CQL later*

Censorship person 1: oh my god they’re so in love and they deserve to be happy.

Back to the commentary: I’m sorry but I have a mighty need of a WWX & Peacock friendship ok? This might be me just wanting WWX and LWJ to make other friends besides each other but I think that the Peacock is just bitchy enough to not take any of WWX’s bullshit.

And the Yunmeng bros timing for banter strikes yet again.

That’s terrible quality fake blood btw.

@ Yunmeng disciples: STOP SHOOTING FUCKING KITES PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Oooof even with a change of clothes our boy is still looking rough as hell.

MY LOVELY YUNMENG SIBS BEING SOFT AND HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER.

It hurts my soul that the second JFM starts praising WWX for surviving the Murder Turtle our boy’s knee-jerk reaction is to start praising JC in return. It is instinctive, how many times must this have happened for him to know his brother won’t even get scraps of praise? (Seriously fuck their parents)

It was going so well, I mean, JFM had a point warning him to not say things in anger. But I thought he was going to tell him that it is because sometimes he’ll hurt someone without wanting to, yet, this asshole decided to, once again, remind his kid he thinks he’s a failure.

And here comes Mme Yu who I can only assume had a servant posted at the door to warn her when WWX woke so she could throw some verbal abuse at him. I mean, she must have been missing it.

And JFM’s misogynistic bullshit strikes once again, because why defend ALL your kids when you can insult your wife.

(Every time someone berates WWX for “intervening” I want to scream. I mean, seeing this I can believe why the society as a whole thought genocide was a good idea.)

I love how they use their kids as props in their fight, I mean it’s not like they have feelings or anything. This woman is gaslight-y as hell too “you don’t love your kid because I gave birth to him”, you can’t tell me saying that in front of the son she’s supposed to love isn’t going to hurt him. And she knows it, I mean, besides the Wen attack I’ve never seen her hit the kids (although I very much doubt she hasn’t), so a good part of the abuse must be verbal. There’s no fucking way a person who regularly uses words that way won’t realise where she’s aiming those arrows. Which means to her (to both) the kids are collateral.

But FR, the barely-out-of-adolescence disaster bi necromancer PTSDing all over the place and living in a mass grave was a better parent than any of the current adults in this thing.

Which brings me to another point, Shijie is textbook “the oldest sibling is just another parent” and I’m making myself very angry.

[this is when I start frothing at the mouth and itching to write a modern-girl(and friends)-dropped-in-CQL because someone has to be a positive adult influence in these kids’ lives and it sure as shit ain’t the ones in the actual show.]

CAN WE STOP BRINGING PEOPLE’S DEAD PARENTS INTO THE FIGHT?

*deep breath*

I am going to feed JFM & Mme Yu each other’s spleens. Look, listen, look and listen, let’s first talk about how calmly they lay out the facts of their lives, one is only loved because he’s been brought up in the shadow of his dead parents, the other knows with certainty his father dislikes him and his mother uses him as leverage in marital disputes. When have these two not exploded their emotions all over the place? Fucking never. Yet here they are, talking about this bullshit like some bout of inconvenient weather. They’re used to it!

And now let’s talk about yet again siblings-are-just-extra-parents, with an added pile of WWX’s terrible self awareness that, to the man who brought him up, his worth is due to his dead parents. Again I’m extrapolating, but with the amount of times Mme Yu brings up his parents in such a negative light I refuse to believe JFM hasn’t made all the “you’re so much like your parents” comments to him every time WWX does something right. I mean, telling an orphan about their parents if they ask is a good thing, but WWX seems starved for stories about his them, which leads me to believe JFM refuses to talk about the topic except to make those little comments. What a fucking stellar way to give someone all the trauma if you ask me. May also explain a lot of WWX’s self worth issues if the biggest praise he’s ever heard is that he resembles dead people, yes, people who were loved, but they’re dead, and it doesn’t look like any adult has bothered to go and differentiate WWX from ZSSR&WCZ.

I’m just really mad, despite all the silly anecdotes I put in here my parents are fucking great at parenting, so I know what good parents should look like, and this ain’t it.

Ok, so I made myself angry and I don’t know if I should move onto the next episode now or wait till tomorrow but thanks for reading!

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 15

death awaits!

oh god the cover. I aint ready 

the cover of overlords open mouth w/rodimus floating inside or w/e,,,,the overlord mouth fixation continues i see

and of COURSE its by nick roche. of course

oh god the tension and dread in the first page, as we get overlords sinister promise to murder everyone, starting with rewind, and then seeing chromedome rush over to open the door, and knowing that 30 minutes have passed already...

that full page spread of everyone vs overlord is amazing

also I always thought that ambulon was trying to kick overlord but now that I look closer he’s actually jumping away from overlord, having just crashed one of those hover...thingys....into him...which is honestly cool as hell. also I'm never over the fact that ambulon kinda looks like he’s smiling here, just having a grand ole time as overlord tries his best to murder everyone

and chromedome just seeing this and saying ‘rewind?’ is fucking killing me thanks

PIPES NO DONT DO THIS. YOURE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND. PLEASE don't talk about how much fun you're having on your wacky space adventure oh god, that’s just asking to be murdered,

GOD AND THERE HE GOES, DRIVING TO HIS DOOM. PIPES NO

AUGHHHHHHHHHH AND THERES OVERLORD WITH HIS GIANT FOOT. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PIIIIIPES ;_; 

his messed up goodbye thoughts are brutal...plus the final shot of him laying all busted up....god :( 

that guy seriously had some awful luck this trip. rip lil guy

BUT he sounded the alarm!!! so good for him!! that's a pretty amazing final act right there

oh my god I forgot abt this scene where rewind is like ‘so brainstorm why is my husband saying your name in his sleep :))))’ and brainstorm is like ‘haha idk its certainly not because we’re working on a secret project together, so jot that down!’ lmao brainstorm....

also dw rewind brainstorm is not fucking ur husband, just look at his evidentially extensive collection of perceptor-style microscopes...my man is microscopesexual 

I forgot abt the metabomb omfg

‘some of my favorite words are monosyllabic’ rodimus ily, himbo of my heart,

fort max :( rung :( 

oughhghghg I forgot abt the scene of tailgate making cyclonus a new horn ;_; and then cyclonus materializes menacingly bc tg dared to volunteer their room for movie night hvbfshdjkfbaskj cyclonus anti-social icon

AUGHHHH GOD THE PANEL OF RATCHET TALKING ON THE COMMS AND OVERLORD IS JUST, RIGHT BEHIND HIM, WITH HIS BIG STUPID LIPS, OH MY GOD

what the fuck, is drift a flying car??? hello??? what the hell????

seriously he’s got like, rockets and shit, what the fuck

anyways, the entire exchange b/w ratchet and drift here kills me, for multiple reasons.... ‘my faith and my sword’ lmao love it. and then ratchet refusing to leave drift and calling him his friend ;_; aughhh

rodimus w/the squad like ‘lets go gays!!!’ 

also I guess cosmos WAS on the lost light lol, totally didn't remember that, I'm guessing he left at some point to go be in the other series lmao 

I'm sorry but ‘amazing. you speak entirely in name’ is so fucking funny, but also like stfu overlord you're not allowed to be funny

MAGNUSSSSSSSS

now I'm confusing myself lmao, rodimus DID know abt overlord, didn't he??? wasn't that the whole thing???? I don't remember if he was involved w/the whole mnemosurgery plan but he at least knew that overlord was there...but we haven't been told that in-story yet so now I'm questioning that lmao

oh god I forgot that overlord almost kills magnus, jeeeeesus. good thing he’s a russian nesting doll otherwise he probably would've died fr 

also damn that's gotta be scary for everyone else, bc magnus is The Big Guy, and a renown fighter...plus drift got all fucked up...yall are in for a bad time 

tailgate gettin his panic on I see

swerve w/the meta narration lmao 

cyclonus ily sm.......

rodimus charging at overlord....ohhh my boy not your best idea

cd and rewind both saying ‘I thought you were dead!’ HHHHHHHH I'm destroyed fuck it all

rodimus (inadvertently) saving the day by saying ‘til all are one’...iconic!!

FORT MAX IS HEREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drift just casually chillin w/no legs

chromedome going into extreme detail about all the mnemosurgery he’s been doing on overlord for WEEKS while rewind is Right There....my dude.

this issue has a LOT of completely white backgrounds but I cant even rlly blame milne bc this seems like more drawing work than usual

oh god cd don't say ‘we’ll finish this conversation later’ at a time like this, that’s never a good idea,

rewind no don't do it :( :( :( 

that panel of cd’s arm getting cut off...AUGHHH

GODDDDDDD IM FUCKING CRYING. AUGHHHHHHHHHHH I.....

so incredibly fucked that cd does what’s best for rewind by blowing the pod up....hhhhh god 

and then that last panel of cd laying on the ground....fucking destroy me!!!!!!!!

also I love that at the beginning of the issue we see whirl with the missile launcher thing, and that’s what cd uses at the end here....good bookends. jro is really great about putting stuff in the story that just seems like innocuous filler/fun character building but turns out to ALSO be plot relevant later

HOLY SHIT I forgot about the cast page with the big red X’s thru the dead people’s profiles....jesus christ 

AUGH this issue was a rollercoaster, phew...and the emotionally devastating conclusion to this arc is still yet to come! 

I will say that it’s super interesting looking back on this, in the sense that rewind & chromedome are introduced as the first ever gay tf couple, and a few issues after we get told this explicitly, rewind is killed. this doesn't really end up being an issue representation-wise bc literally everyone is gay and there are a bunch of other significant gay characters/relationships later on, AND rewind comes back later 

but still! it’s interesting to think about how, at the time this came out, the phrase/concept ‘bury your gays’ wasn't really something that was talked about a lot (or like, it was, but not as often as nowadays, and not really under the term ‘bury your gays’ iirc), but at the time of publication this would have fallen under that trope (though rewind coming back later negates it imo). I think it would've been tough for this story to come out nowadays due to the backlash that would've occurred from rewind’s initial death (it also makes me wonder if there was any backlash when this DID come out) 

to be clear, this isn't a writing criticism - in fact, the reason this is able to work at all is because of the crazy amount of representation mtmte has. it’s like, youre able to kill off gay characters without it being ‘bury your gays’ if literally all your characters are gay by default, and there are a bunch of significant gay relationships happening - technically speaking, any death in mtmte is bury your gays lmao 

this is a completely disjointed rant but my point is like, if this issue came out in 2020 people would probably be pretty put off by rewind dying (understandably), but in the context of the series as a whole I don't consider this to be bad writing/bad representation/bury your gays 

and like, WERE people really mad about this in 2013? I am curious now, bc I would definitely feel kinda betrayed if I didn't know all the stuff that happens later 

but its pretty nice, because now I'm free to enjoy the writing and be emotionally devastated by rewinds death in a normal way, and not a ‘I'm angry at the writers for killing off one of the only gay characters’ kinda way

anyways I'm tired as hell so I'm going to bed, ill continue the emotional devastation later, phew

[deaky-disco-queen]

New Neighbour - Maylor Week Day 2

A/N: Here we are! Sadly, my only piece for this week but I tried to make it Count. Written for the prompt ‘dancing in the kitchen’ even though that’s hardly the Focus of this. Whoops. Thanks to @iamnotbrianmay for organizing this week!

Can also be read on AO3.

+++

Roger could faintly hear his phone ring from the edge of the pasture where his bag and the rest of his stuff was. He let out a sharp whistle, alerting his herding dogs Clover and Kit who immediately starting herding the sheep closer to the barn while he jogged towards his phone. A very unflattening picture of John was on his display and he chuckled lowly before accepting the call.

   “Deaks? What’s up?”

   “Hey, sorry, I know you’re out with the sheep right now but I need to borrow your truck on Saturday.”

He frowned slightly and wiped the seat off his forehead, mentally already going through his to-do-list for the weekend. He knew John’s truck was still out of commission, waiting for replacement parts at Jim’s garage but the younger man also hadn’t worried about that because in their village, nobody really needed them anyway which is half of the reason only John and Roger had one in the first place.

   “When and what do you need it for?”

   “Somebody bought the Criston House and Miami asked me to fix the roof before the guy moves in but-”

   “-but the supplies are at the factory, I got it. Yeah, you can have it, just bring it back by Monday.” 

They exchanged a little bit of small talk then but both of them were busy and they quickly wrapped it up, not wanting to keep the other one. He put his phone back into his bag, quickly grabbed the rest of his things and walked back to the barn to have on last look at the sheeps, just making sure everything was alright, before calling his dogs and making his way back to the house.

He patted Clover’s head in passing, opening the door for his girls and they immediately slipped inside, making a beeline for the kitchen, knowing there were treats waiting for them. He followed them, laughing quietly to himself. After giving them their well-deserved treats he refilled their bowls and then went to take a shower.

Roger didn’t waste much time in the shower, he really only wanted to change into his sweatpants and curl up in front of his TV with something to eat. He knew he still had left-overs from back when he had been invited for dinner at Freddie’s parents place and he was already looking forward to eating it because his mother was an amazing cook.

Kit was trailing around his legs as he was heating the curry back up, wanting his attention and probably something of the meat but he chastised her softly and sent her off to play with her toys. He filled a bowl with his food and grabbed a beer and sat down heavily on the sofa, groaning happily. Immediately, Kit was with him again, jumping on the sofa and resting her head on his legs. Clover laid down on the floor in front of them, chewing on her teddy bear, her tail wagging happily. Roger turned on the TV, catching one of the crime shows he was following half-heartedly whenever he found the time to watch them.

   “So, somebody bought the Criston House, huh?” He said to Kit, scratching behind her ear. “That’s a decision, I guess.”

The Criston House was an old house on the site next to Roger’s ranch. It had been empty for as long as Roger could remember and he hadn’t thought it would ever be sold but apparently he had been wrong. Bad for John as he was the guy people went to when things needed fixing but good for someone, Roger assumed.

The house was beautiful for a house that had been abandoned for over twenty years. Nice grey brickwork with ivy growing on it and a beautiful oak tree in the backyard and the river was running by closely. He had never been inside but from the outside, it looked like a nice house to live in. Except maybe for the roof which got a bit damaged over the years but John didn’t sound too worried about fixing it so it couldn’t be too bad.

   “Looks like we’re getting a neighbour, girls.”

+++

A perk of having your friend work next to your house was definitely having lunch together. Most of the time, Roger didn’t have the time to sit down for a lunch but John had no issue with walking beside him, eating whatever lunch he had brought and holding Roger’s food when needed.

It was nice because it meant Roger had someone else then his dogs to talk to and work had kept both of them busy so they couldn’t hang out as much as they had wanted to. Neither of them was much of a gossip but then again, it was a small village and there wasn’t really much happening and so the most interesting thing was whoever didn’t make it to church on time. Or, in their case, the fact that Paul Prenter had let his car fix by a mechanic from a different town instead of going to Jim’s garage which was incredible stupid because Jim was the best mechanic Roger had ever seen and even if he couldn’t stand him, he’d get his car fixed by him.

   “He’s being ridiculous.” John said, shaking his head.

   “Yeah, but what’s new? I never really liked him anyway.”

John hummed in agreement, taking a bite out of his sandwich. Roger pulled his hair band out of his hair to gather them into a new ponytail since too many strands had escaped over time and had fallen into his face. John passed him a bottle of water and he drank almost half of it before giving it back. He nodded towards the Criston House.

   “Have you met the guy who bought it yet?”

   “Yep, met him a few days ago. Nice guy, tall, wild hair. Probably the type who gets on my nerve after a while but very polite.”

John shrugged, absently flipping the bottle in his hand a couple of times then put it back into his bag and shrugged again, this time pulling an unimpressed face. Roger snorted and gently knocked their shoulders together.

   “But I guess we’ll see how he is soon enough. He wants to move in by, uh, end of August if I remember correctly.”

   “Let me know if you remember the date. I don’t think Miami will let me live it down if I am late for a welcoming present again.”

He laughed and Roger slapped him playfully, grumbling under his breath.

   “Well, you forgot the present for Freddie. And you literally annoyed us for months because you were so excited for him to move in. I don’t think Jim was so excited and they are married. And then you forgot the present.”

Roger threw his arms up and groaned in mock-frustration but John wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close and next thing he knew they were play wrestling and falling back into the grass, pushing and pulling at each other while yelling, cursing and laughing. John’s elbow digged harshly into his side and he let out a strangled breath before he managed to turn them around, effectively straddling his friend. Both of them were breathing hard but giggling, trying to outdo the other.

   “Will you two ever grow up?” An old voice asked.

They quickly sat up- Roger flicking a clover out of John’s hair who stuck his tongue out at him- to see Mrs. Thompson, their former school teacher, standing just behind the fence, two big bags in her hands.

   “I’m afraid not, Mrs .Thompson.” Roger chuckled.

She shook her head at them and they scrambled to their feet quickly, stuck somewhere between thinking this situation was embarrassing and being incredible amused by the whole thing.

   “Do you need help with those bags, Mrs. Thompson?”

   “At least your manners never were an issue.”

They quickly jumped over the fence which made Mrs. Thompson sigh quietly and shook her head again but she did let them take the bags from her, setting the way to her house not far from Roger’s.

+++

Roger carefully wrapped the cheese into wax paper, sealing it with a sticker and placed it into the basket to the jam and sausages and quickly grabbed the bottle of wine he had bought for this, also adding it to the other things.

He brushed his hair out of his face. He really needed a haircut.

The basket was looking really nice and he wiped his hands on his shirt before grimacing and deciding he needed to change before he could go over to the new neighbor. He washed his hands and quickly changed into something he hadn’t been wearing out for taking care of the sheep. Only then he grabbed the basket and walked over to the house.

John had done a good job with the roof, not that Roger was an expert in these kind of things but it looked better than it did before. It had also been John who reminded him about the new guy moving in. Usually, he would have noticed things because a big moving truck was kind of a dead giveaway but Roger had been out of town yesterday and he was thankful for John because he would have forgotten it again.

Sometimes, he missed the big city. Nobody really expected you to know everyone or give every new neighbour something for moving in and nobody gossiped about you just because someone came late for church or whatever town festival was happening. On the other hand, he loved his hometown and he did move back here after all. He really couldn’t imagine himself in a different job besides being a sheep owner.

It took only a moment for his neighbour to get the door and Roger’s kind of fake, polite smile grew into something much more sincere.

He was pretty. Long, dark curly were framing his face and he had gentle, dark eyes. His sweater was too short, leaving his wrist and part of his lower arm bare and there was just a sliver of skin between his pants and the sweater but Roger quickly looked up again, not wanting to be caught staring.

   “Hello, I’m Roger and I live next door. I, ah, just wanted to drop off a welcoming gift.”

The man smiled softly and took the basket from him, looking it over quickly.

   “This is lovely but, um, I’m actually vegetarian.”

   “Oh, sorry, I just take the sausages back then.”

They shared an awkward smile during the exchange and Roger cursed himself inwardly for making this meeting weird already.

   “Oh, I’m Brian, by the way. Do you want to come in for a cup of tea?”

   “I’d love to.”

The house was nice. Roger had never seen it from the inside before but he assumed a house that had been empty for twenty years couldn’t look that great but Brian had done a nice job with the interior. Not that he had any real idea about what good interior design looked like since his house was basically a mismatched collection on old furniture still from his grandparents and the ikea furniture he had brought with him when he moved back after college. Brian’s furniture seemed to fit together most of the time, though, and everything was neat and tidy.

   “You have a beautiful house.”

   “Thank you.”

The kitchen had a door to the backyard and Roger could see a couple of his sheep grazing close to the fence and watched them while Brian made the tea.

   “Do the sheep belong to you?” Brian asked.

He pulled two mugs out of a cabinet, looking to him for a moment before putting the kettle on the oven.

   “Yeah, I sell their wool, milk and meat to others in the village. The cheese is made from milk of my sheep and so were the sausages but that’s not that important.”

   “I only have jasmine tea and mint tea unpacked so far so, uh, I hope that’s fine.”

Roger nodded and smiled at him. Brian honestly didn’t look like the type of guy who would like to move into a village in the middle of nowhere. The only people who move out here were couples with young children because ground was cheaper here but except that, the people who lived here were the same families that had lived here since what seemed like forever. Some people, like Roger, left for a while to go to college and get a degree and some stay and don’t come back but some do.

Brian poured some water into the mugs and put both of them on the table, followed by the tea bags and some sugar and milk. Roger took a mint tea bag and added two sugars to it.

   “So, what brings you here?” He asked.

   “Ah, I’m a writer but I’m kind of stuck so I decided maybe a change of scenery would help.” Brian shrugged, then chuckled softly. “But I guess I’ll see that with time.”

Roger made an interested sound, his eyebrows lifting as he gestured for him to continue. Brian blushed. He laughed, sounding quite embarrassed.

   “It’s nothing really. I wrote two books before and they did pretty well all things considering but the next one just doesn’t want to come to me as it seems.” He shrugged again and waved his hand through the air. “I just want to bring it to a good end, that’s all.”

He smiled, looking almost shy and Roger decided to prod a little bit because not only did it actually interest him- he didn’t always had the time to get into a book but he used his limited free times to find some good reads- but Brian seemed embarrassed talking about it. It was kind of sad, in a way, as he was obviously passionate about his writing and when Roger was passionate about something, he would talk about it with everybody, given the chance.

Brian was hesitant at first, quietly telling him about his Science Fiction novels but quickly realized that Roger really wanted to hear about it and his voice grew more sure and eventually, he was basically rambling, gesturing animatedly.

   “That sounds really cool.” Roger said, drinking the rest of his tea. “But I’m afraid I have to go back to work now.”

   “Thank you for stopping by. And thank you for the presents!”

+++

The next time Roger saw Brian was in his backyard and he waved at him from the distance, a grin appearing on his face when Brian waved back. He jogged over to where the fence separated his backyard from his pasture.

   “Hey! How have you been doing? Settled in nicely?”

Brian smiled and nodded. Roger spotted a watering can in his hand.

   “Hello, Roger. How are you doing?”

Roger jumped up the fence, sitting down on top of it, legs dangling above the ground as he grabbed the wood to steady himself. Kit and Clover trotted over to see what he was doing.

“Oh, good, busy with work, you know.”

He wiped his forehead, his shirt clinging to his body from the sweat and nodded at the watering can.

   “Planting something?”

   “Oh, no, I don’t think I could.” Brian laughed. “It’s just pretty hot and I figured the bushes might need some water.”

Roger took him in, with his half-unbuttoned shirt, leaving his collarbone exposed, that was haphazardly tucked into his jeans and his curls were messy, looking as if he had been running his hand through it several times. He looked tired, too, dark shadows beneath his eyes.

   “If you want to know how to plant things, you should talk to Jim. He owns the garage but also has a great garden. It’s relaxing, he says.”

Brian crouched down and reached through the fence to pet Clover’s head who yipped happily.

   “I don’t really think I will. What’s their names?”

   “That’s Clover and this is Kit.”

He watched him scratch both dogs’ chins for a while, occasionally glancing back to his sheep. Brian cooed at the dogs for a moment longer, then he straightened up again. Roger smiled at him.

+++

Brian was out in his backyard alot and Roger often found himself caught up in conversation with him, idly chatting over anything as he watched over his sheep. Sometimes, they would talk about Brian’s books or Roger’s work but they quickly found other things to talk about like music and animals among other things.

Having a neighbour was nice, Roger realized. And Brian was nice, Roger might have developed a tiny crush on the man but nobody could really blame him because he was handsome and intelligent and didn’t know how to button shirts. It was distracting.

He started to look forward to seeing Brian, seeking excuses to keep talking with him even if it meant he had to miss his crime shows.

+++

Roger watched how Brian was cutting apples and took out a big bite out of one of the leftover apples as he sat on top of the kitchen counter. Brian was cutting them with practiced precision, his sleeves rolled up and Roger cocked his head to the side, humming softly.

His hair was pulled back into a ponytail so it wouldn’t hang into his face as he made his pie.

“Okay, help me out for a second: What even is a fall festival?” He asked.

Roger chuckled and wiped some juice off his chin.

   “It’s just good food, music and lots of dancing. It’s fun and just the people hanging out.”

   “I’m going to have to skip the dancing, I guess, but the rest sounds like fun.”

He frowned slightly before putting his apple to the side and jumping off the counter, clapping his hands.

   “Come ‘ere. Dancing is easy. I can show you.”

Brian stopped cutting for a moment and laughed, shaking his head. Roger just clapped again, wiggling his fingers at him.

   “Come on, Bri! It’s fun!”

He shot him a long look, then sighed, placed the knife carefully to the side and wiped his hands on a towel. Roger’s grin grew and he quickly grabbing him before he could change his mind again, pulling him close. He put one of his hands on his hip and placed his own on Brian’s shoulder. Brian’s hands were surprisingly rough.

   “I guess you’ll be the one guiding so you put your hands like this.”

He started humming a song he knew would be played at the festival and just moved them along the steps of the dance. Brian was clumsy at first, stumbling over his own feet and stepping on his toes a couple of times but soon he caught up to it and they were dancing somewhat decently.

   “There we go! You can dance!”

   “Barely, I can barely dance.”

Roger laughed, looking up at him. He was close enough now to smell him which should be way weirder than it was and he tried not to sniff him too obviously. It was a nice smell, clean and fresh but nothing Roger could clearly identify.

At some point, they had stopped dancing, more swaying back and forth in place. Only then, Roger noticed that they were actually really close to each other and that Brian’s hand had slipped from on his hip to the small of his back. His heart jumped in his chest and a blush rose on his cheeks. Hoping Brian wouldn’t notice it, he lowered his head a little bit, his forehead almost touching his shoulder.

He took a deep breath, trying not to immediately expose himself. Brian cleared his throat.

   “Is there anything else than dancing?”

They were still swaying in place, the apples forgotten on the counter. Roger looked up quickly, shooting Brian a short smile.

   “Uh, not really. It’s mostly about the food, the music and the dancing.”

Brian hummed softly, nodding to himself.

   “I like that, I think. This kind of dancing, at least.”

   “What? What kind of dancing?”

Brian smiled at him, his hand squeezing his. Roger swallowed hard at the look on his face. He couldn’t quite discern it but it looked somewhat fond.

   “Slow dancing. It’s nice.”

There was a short, heavy silence as they were just looking at each other and then he chuckled, licked his lips and leaned down, pressing a short, chaste kiss to Roger’s lips. Roger blinked, taken by surprise and they stopped swaying, just standing close to each other as they kept looking at each other.

   “Was that okay?” Brian asked quietly.

   “Yes, yes it was. Completely okay.”

Another moment of silence followed, then they broke into giggles, leaning into each other. Roger hid his face in Brian’s chest, the taller man’s hand on his back gently pulling him closer and he wrapped his arms around him, his face red from laughter.

   “That was awful!” He laughed.

   “Am I that bad of a kisser?”

Roger shook his head and pushed back far enough so he could lean up and kiss him again. It was a longer kiss this time, both of them moving with purpose this time but it was still chaste, just shy lips moving against each other. Brian’s hand slid up his back, cupping his neck.

They pulled away from slowly, smiling dopily at each other.

   “Better?”

Roger nodded, stealing another quick kiss before taking a full step back. He laced their fingers together and squeezed them.

   “Uh, let’s finish your pie? And then maybe practice some more dancing?”

Brian laughed, throwing a quick look over his shoulder where the apples were and nodded.

   “Yeah, good idea.”

Roger sat back down on the counter and Brian went back to cutting the rest of the apples but they kept stealing glances at each other, unable to stop smiling.

   “We could, uh, go to the festival together?” Roger asked.

   “I’d love that.”

[sufferthesea]

Can you do some headcanons for Kakashi, Iruka, and Gai and if they started getting love notes from a secret admirer?

asdfghjkl you’re like the sweetest person ever!!! I love you!! 🍓 Also this is so me, you have no idea. 

Hey guess who can’t write short stuff? It me. These always turn into headcanon-scenarios. But it’s not going under the cut, sorry! Please forgive misspellings and errors. I started watching Death Note on a whim while editing this. 

KAKASHI, IRUKA AND GAI GETTING LOVE NOTES FROM AN ADMIRER 

KAKASHI

I feel like Kakashi isn’t a stranger to randos fawning over him. Either they’re in awe because “it’s Kakashi, the Copy Ninja!”, or they somehow sneak a peek at him maskless, or they spend 30 seconds around him (let’s face it, he’s that cool) but he doesn’t think about it much because it’s all very shallow to him. He doesn’t like the attention and most people don’t know the “real Kakashi”, so he feels that most people’s idea of him is very false and inaccurate. His mindset is, “They love me for who they’ve made me out to be, but they would hate me for who I actually am.” 

When Kakashi first finds a love note from a secret admirer, he’s not sure what to do about it. He’s gotten confessions of love before but he’s always ignored them because - as stated - they’re seemingly shallow and only confess to loving the person everyone thinks he is. But this letter seems different - it doesn’t gush about his abilities, or how sexy he is because of the air of mystery around him, or simply fangirl because he’s Kakashi of the Sharingan. The letter doesn’t try to explain away his issues (”I know you’re like this because of what happened, but …”) and it doesn’t come across as someone with a savior complex (”I know that if you let me, I can heal you with my love!”) so he’s pretty intrigued. Who is this person? How do they know him, and how have they managed to cut through all the nonsense the village praises him for? 

It kind of scares him if this person seems to know a truer version of Kakashi. He’s afraid of being found out, afraid of people seeing he’s scared and weak and royally messed up. But he’s also drawn to this mysterious writer - how did they manage to see right through him? Does he know them? And he’s really curious depending on where he finds the letter. If it’s delivered to him through the post, he’ll figure it’s just someone who’s seen him on his walk home/has known him for a while and knows where he lives. If it’s given to him via a teammate or by the Hokage during a meeting, he’ll be kind of suspicious. (”How do they know who I’m working with? Is it … one of them?” Then he��ll study all the people he’s working with or that passes in and out of the Hokage building and see if any of their eyes linger a bit too long on him.) If he finds it in his book or his gear, he’ll be bound and determined to find out who it is because how the heck did they get into his stuff without him noticing?! 

After a couple of notes (and failed attempts to figure out who it is), Kakashi has 2 tactics he goes for. The first is to enlist Pakkun and the rest of his ninken into sniffing out the culprit. He’ll give them the letters to pick up the scent and then send them off into the village. The ninken try to pick up clues in the note (if there is any perfume or lotions, or certain smells that’d only be present at a particular shop or area of Konoha - such as ramen or varnish or flowers). (But I imagine the letter writer is too scared about being discovered, so each and every letter smells different and the ninken can’t figure out who it is for the life of them. How many different perfumes and lotions does this person own? Do they write these at restaurants and cafes? “LISTEN KAKASHI, FIVE PEOPLE HAVE HANDLED THIS LETTER BEFORE YOU GOT IT, OKAY? THE ORIGINAL SCENT IS GONE. SO UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO CHASE DOWN THE MAILMAN LIKE SOME KIND OF COMMON DOG, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIGURE THIS OUT.”) 

His other tactic is to leave his own notes where he’s found the love letters. If they’re in his stuff, he figures that the person will find his notes when they go to hide theirs. He’ll tuck some into his scroll pouches, pockets, in the pages of Icha Icha, wherever he found them. (But he’s kind of nervous about it and doesn’t want the person to miss his letter - so he’ll leave another piece of paper that says something like “Check front left pocket” or “Go to page 138”, asdghjkl Kakashi that defeats the purpose of “finding” the letter on your own!!) 

If it’s delivered through the post, he’ll hand over his own letter to the mailman and say, “Give this to the person who sends me these notes.” (But that’s super vague and Kakashi gets a lot of mail from people - even though he hardly reads it, and it sits in a pile on his table - so the mailman is like “??? Sure??” and there’s a 100% chance it ends up going to someone like Kotetsu or Gai or even Tsunade and everyone is really confused and Kakashi is horrified because they’ve just read his love letter?!?!? It happened like once, and Kakashi is now so paranoid and embarrassed that he either stops this idea altogether or gives the mailman the most serious, deadpan look and says, “GIVE THIS TO THE PERSON WHO SENDS ME THESE *flips love note*, OKAY?”) 

(Or he’ll write a note and give it to Lady Tsunade and just say, “This … goes to whoever’s been leaving me notes …” And she’s like, “Uh-huh … You know, you’d think with all of your capabilities, you’d have found out who it is by now.” And he’s like, “?? Wait, do YOU know?” And she’s like, “Hello? I give you these letters all the time; I sit in this office all day and see who comes in and out of the building from that window. For a guy who can copy every jutsu with his Sharingan, you sure aren’t all that observant. Maybe if you uncovered that half of your face for a while you’d be able to see who it is. But it’s none of my business …”) 

Kakashi is basically just a huge dork and tries to play it cool but inside he’s freaking out because there’s somebody out there in the village who is leaving him love notes and it’s driving him insane because he DOESN’T KNOW WHO IT IS. He knows he tells a lot of people to “let things go”, but this is something he needs to know and he probably won’t stop until he finds his secret admirer. (And when he FINALLY finds them, he’s so flippin’ nervous he’ll mess things up and that once they spend time around him they’ll realize he’s a loser and give up, so he almost wishes he hadn’t figured it out.)

IRUKA

Iruka has had his fair share of women flirting with him. Usually single moms, aunts, or grannies of the kids in his class that show up during Parent-Teacher Conferences/school events (like graduation), but that’s about it. He is pretty oblivious with most of the flirting tactics the women employ, but a few of the more bolder ones make him a little nervous so he tries his best to brush them off. (”Dinner? Oh, aha ha ha … I’m sorry but I’m incredibly busy grading homework tonight … and for the rest of the week. But I’ll see you at the next Parent-Teacher Conference!”) What a dork. (He hates this memory, but half of his coworkers will randomly bring up the time a drunk obaasan was having a good time at one of the village’s summer festivals and followed him around all night, pinching his face, grabbing his butt, and playing with his ponytail. Genma volunteered him to “walk the poor woman home” at the end of the night and Iruka was horrified to find out how strong such a small and old woman was, because he had to basically fight her off when she tried to drag him inside. RIP.) 

When Iruka first gets a love note from a secret admirer, his first thought is, “Oh, please don’t let it be a student.” He’s very likable and personable and more than one student has developed a crush on him. It’s always a little awkward for him but he does his best to discourage them and let them down gently. So when he reads the note and sees that the handwriting and the level of skill the writing took, he gives a huge sigh of relief because oh my gosh, it’s not a student, thank goodness. But now he has a new question - who IS it from? Another teacher? A parent? (Urck, he’s not sure how he feels about dating a student’s mom tbh.) Someone else? His list of suspects narrows depending on where he found it - in his desk drawer, hidden between a stack of ungraded homework assignments, or delivered to his classroom by a teacher’s aide. 

The note makes him quite flustered, ngl. Whether it’s super articulate and poetic, or just a short and blunt note, he’s blushing like mad because someone out there took the time to write it and leave it for him to find. (For a moment he thinks it’s a mistake and it’s meant for another teacher but - nope! His name is on the front, it’s definitely for him. He also wonders if it’s a prank by his co-workers since they know how he feels about women flirting with him but something about this seems genuine.) He hides his note somewhere close - either on his person or in his bag - and thinks about it for the rest of the day until he can do some investigative work. 

Iruka is, like, 10000x more per perceptive now and he pays attention to everything and everyone. He needs to know if his admirer left the note themselves, or if they had someone else drop it off. He’s almost suspicious of anyone who comes by his classroom and even briefly thinks that one of the kids was employed by their parent to hide the note in his desk. He has so many wild conspiracies running through his head, and he seems a bit like a madman. (Like … imagine the Pepe Silvia scene from It’s Always Sunny.) So anyway, he mostly watches intently and keeps track of who comes into his classroom, who has access to his papers, and who seems to be acting strange. (It drives him absolutely bonkers if he finds ANOTHER love note and didn’t even see anyone leave it!! How could he miss it?!) 

People at the Academy notice how weird he’s acting and he finally breaks down and confesses to one or two close friends that he’s been trying to figure out who’s leaving him notes (he may or may not leave out the “love” part). They agree to help him figure it out, but they think this is really funny because of how stressed and flattered he is. Mostly they’re not much help because they end up delivering a few love letters to Iruka hidden between copies of assignments, shrug and say, “Oh I don’t know, I got this from so-and-so in the break room. Must’ve been stuck in there earlier.” They have their own suspicions but don’t say anything because it’s more fun to let him figure it out. 

Finally Iruka is near his breaking point, so he ends up stalking around the Academy, practically harassing everyone there as he watches their every move. He hangs around the break room and copy room, watching with eagle eyes to see anyone shuffling love letters into his mailbox or papers. 90% of the teachers have no idea what’s going on, and the people who do know think it’s hilarious and terrifying. 

Lord help the person Iruka catches hiding the love notes in his papers. He runs over to them, grabs the note, shoves it in their face, laughing hysterically as he says, “I CAUGHT YOU! FINALLY! IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME!” If the person he caught is only the delivery person for the secret admirer, they’d probably quit right then. (”Are you sure you like this guy? He’s so weird. You should’ve seen him when he saw me with your letter! I’m never doing that again!!”) They’d also straight up tell him, “Yeah, I left them for you but I didn’t write them. And I took a vow of silence so I can’t tell you who they’re from.” And after a lot of confusion and begging on Iruka’s part, the delivery person would give up and say, “OKAY. I can’t tell you who it is but if you write a letter, I can get it to them …” (Cue the fastest letter writing in the history of the world and Iruka frantically saying, “Here! Take it! Let me know what they say!”) 

If it IS the secret admirer he’s caught, they’re probably horrified - especially since Iruka wasn’t very subtle and there were other people in the room with them … and now they’re all staring … and now they all know they were writing love notes … to Iruka … It’s so embarrassing omg. But once he’s calmed down, he’s blushing again because this is the person who was writing love notes to him oh my gosh they’re so cute !!! and he gets enough sense in him to talk to them in private and ask about the letters, and about themselves, and he’s still so confused why they like him but he’s happy he found them - and everyone else is happy too because HE FINALLY STOPPED FOLLOWING THEM AROUND AND WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE, THEY’RE FINALLY FREE!!! Iruka gets a little overzealous sometimes …

MAITO GAI

First reaction: crying about how youthful it is to receive love notes. Second reaction: a hearty chuckle of success because he realizes no one can resist the Green Beast of Konoha. Third reaction: he shoves the letter into Kakashi’s face and asks, “Did YOU receive such a youthful and lovely letter, filled to the brim with kind words and compliments, signed anonymously - too shy to reveal their true selves?! There is something so wonderful about the unsure confession of love by a secret admirer.” Everyone is in shock that not only does someone like Gai, but they’re actually writing him love notes. 

Gai is probably the type to make an assumption about who wrote the letter, find himself around them, give a “knowing” laugh when they say/do something contradictory to liking him, wink, give a thumbs up and say, “Don’t worry about it … We both know the truth. There’s no need to be shy!” And they ?? have no idea ?? what he’s talking about ?? (Tenten looks on in secondhand embarrassment, trying to gingerly break the news, “Gai-sensei … I don’t think it was them …” Gai is confused because, no - he’s sure it’s them. Right? It’s obvious. They’re just shy! Gai they’re not shy, they’re wondering why the Green Beast of Konoha is trying to make the moves on them when they have done absolutely nothing to indicate that they’re interested.) 

Rock Lee is just as invested in this as Gai because he thinks it’s so lovely; Neji is wondering who in the world would send a love note to his teacher; Tenten very surprised but also intrigued; they all end up helping Gai find his secret admirer because they’re all curious (and Gai definitely sees this as an opportunity to turn it into a training exercise in information gathering, stealth tactics, and teamwork - as well as trying to one-up Kakashi by proving that he too has hoards of fangirls). (”Gai-sensei, it was ONE note …”) 

Gai’s secret admirer would have to be pretty creative and sneaky to get the notes to him if they didn’t want to get caught, especially now that he’s looking for them. They probably do something ridiculous like tie the note to a bird, set the bird off towards the training fields, train the bird to steal something/pester the genin or Gai until they can’t take it anymore so they’ll grab the bird and find the note (all the while the secret admirer watches from a distance as Gai reads the letter). Or they tack love letters on the trees all along the path Gai takes when he jogs in the morning, so that only he can find them. He is both in awe by their dedication, and really impressed because only he and Rock Lee get up that early to train - so this person knows his schedule pretty well. (Is it really a crush if you haven’t stalked them a little bit?) 

Gai respects boundaries and he understands some people are more reserved about their feelings (he’s been friends with Kakashi since forever), so he won’t try to do anything to embarrass or publicly out his secret admirer. As stated above, he may get a little ahead of himself and start hinting towards someone that he knows it’s them - even if it’s not. But as soon as he understands that’s not the person, he backs off and apologizes, saying, “I’m sorry - I thought you were the person I’d been corresponding with.” (He doesn’t want so many other people to know this person has a crush on him - it’s not his secret to tell, so he tells little lies like that they’re a penpal or something.) 

He isn’t super perturbed if he can’t immediately find this secret admirer. There are some moments when he clenches his fist in frustration because he just wants to meet them - but he also enjoys the surprise of finding a new letter for him on the training field, waiting for him at the counter of a weapons shop, or even slipped under the door of his apartment. (He cried once when he got a poem instead of a letter, and it compared his green jumpsuit to the “comforting forests outside the village”, his hair to “the blackest of starless skies, still aglow with the halo of a new moon” and his smile to “the most radiant beam of sunshine to warm the hearts” of those around him.) He saves all of these and keeps them where he can read them every day. The poems he tacks to his fridge door, and the very first one he received he keeps in his vest pocket. 

Since this secret admirer knows Gai’s schedule pretty well, they’ve been watching him to make sure he doesn’t catch them leaving notes - and they’ve seen him mistakenly think a few other shinobi/civilians were writing the love notes. They can see that he isn’t turned off or weirded out by it all, so they gain some confidence and decide to reveal themselves. They show up to the training grounds at 4am (when Gai shows up to start his morning routine) and Gai is there alone, already training. He notices them right away but doesn’t say anything so he won’t scare them off. When they get close enough, he stops his training and looks at them, giving them a gentle smile. Nervously, they approach and shove a final letter at him. He reads it and then grins at them, “So it’s you. I’ve been waiting for you to show up. Would you like to take a walk?”

Gai totally walks them down the same path he jogs every day and he points at every tree that used to have a love note attached to it, recounts which note it was, and he’ll tell them his favorite part about the note, and when they get to the end of the walk he’ll pull out the very first letter he got so they could see he kept it “close to my heart, where it belongs!” And then, in a final act (with his genin watching from the bushes), Gai pulls out another piece of paper, unfolds it, and proudly starts reading a poem that HE wrote for his secret admirer. Rock Lee cries, Neji shakes his head seemingly in resignation (but he’s secretly happy for his teacher), and Tenten is honestly surprised at how talented Gai is (”Who knew he would write like that? Do you think he ever did a writing competition with Kakashi-sensei?” Don’t give him any ideas, Tenten). Of course, after all of this Gai would ask his secret admirer if they were okay with other people knowing who wrote the letters. If yes, then he’d proudly tell everyone so he could brag about their talent and their kindness. If not, then he’d quietly keep the letters to himself and when people asked about it, he’d just say he hadn’t figured it out yet but he would eventually. (Way too sweet, 10/10 best person ever.)

[hoedameron]

big night for television because i not only watched my two szn faves pero i found another show to watch. here is a little rundown that no one cares to read but i wanna talk about them bc the online community is super small and there aren’t any cool bitches </3

spoilers!! //

ncis szn 18 premiere: i think it’s so mf sexy that the showrunners/writers didn’t write in about the pandemic like...it was such a relief. this is already traumatic to continue to experience but my gosh, very appreciative for those who are actually on the frontlines and just don’t want that reminder. ANYWAYS! that fucking beginning got me standing up and shrieking i was like NO WAY did gibbs try to shoot down mcgee ain’t no WAY !! i demand mf ANSWERS like how COME he is chasing that plane, why is mcgee alone, why is gibbs on the mf ROOF with a SNIPER RIFLE?? also that shit with fornell...like KINGS if this show wasn’t homophobic, those two would make a really great couple love wins <3 but also, their friendship is incredibly special and i like that aspect more than a romantic relationship between the two. they’re always getting into some shit and it’s like jaksdjslka. oh, jimmy :(( almost getting hurt :(( that’s my mans y’all why would u wanna hurt him :(( him with those rolled up sleeves though 🤤😏 bishop and torres being the duo that they are...wish to see them again. the plot was pretty okay like it wasn’t thrilling and it was kinda like oh man, this shit wild fr...solid start! can’t wait for what they cooked up for the rest of the szn. ALSO!! next week is the 400th (FOUR HUNDREDTH!!) episode and it looks so scrumptious we get young gibbs and young ducky let’s fucking GOOOOOO

fbi szn 3 premiere: okay let’s just take a moment of silence for our lost comrades kristen and special agent emily WE POUR ONE OUT FOR Y’ALL :// this shit had me on the edge of my seat bitch!! i missed this show like yeah it kinda put me in a sad mood knowing that we lost a series regular so suddenly (and i still don’t know why...there are no articles out) but this shit was culturally relevant. it did touch on the pandemic with face masks but i think some of the scenes were shot before the pandemic so there was like...some hella inconsistencies. HOWEVER! i am willing to gloss over that shit when there is some ajskdjskal shit happening on the screen. never disappointed in the writers to deliver some poignant shit like in the beginning where the dude said that all white people are racists, including him and her (her being the other character in the scene) and the way she reacted was so funny like YES BITCH YOU TOO “GOOD WHITE GIRL”. and that new character nestor? is he staying on for the rest of the season because.....🤤😏 maggie, if you ain’t claiming him i will take both him and oa in one swoop <33 ANYWAYS, that shit with oa and his informant....that shit hurted 😔 can’t believe these mfers were about to snpe his ass and for what -_- also the music never ceases to make me bounce in my seat like YEEHAW!! the maggie snippet of why she wasn’t happy about the “success” of her undercover work before coming back to the fbi....MAN, okay more shit hurt damn bitch!! also the new girl (forgot her name lol) that is scola’s (barely remembered this guy’s name lol) partner now, she so bad like she seems like a fun character we will see how she fairs. and scola, my mans....looking fine as always <33 jubal.....scrumptious and showing up that whole command center and for what! love him. fbi always has a fire season so i can’t wait to watch :)

big sky series premiere: YES, SUE ME, I WATCHED IT!! it was advertised all over twitter and my dad and i saw some ads for weeks so we were like okay, let’s give it a chance...and it is actually REALLY fucking good. predominately white cast pero whatever ig...annoying because we only have one black woman in the cast and that is IT for people of color....crickets. anyways, the plot is interesting and it may be typical: a trucker in his late 30s who still lives with his overbearing mom gets sick and tired of her snide remarks that are supposed to be “out of love” and starts kidnapping people...possibly even killing them. the twist is that, well, he has a state trooper covering for his eyes and HE LITERALLY KILLED SOMEBODY BECAUSE THE KIDNAPPER (forgot his name lol) WAS GETTING “SLOPPY”. back to the other characters, we got cassie and jennie/jenny (idk which spelling it is) who are kinda in a fight bc cassie slept with jenny’s husband who are separated but the miscommunication led jenny to get big mad when she found out cassie slept with cody (husband). now they’re gonna have to work together (they’re all private detectives/investigators) despite this to find the girlfriend of jenny’s son who went missing when she was on a roadtrip with her sister to meet with her son. ANYWAYS yeah it sounds a bit boring BUT that cliffhanger made me stand the FUCK up like AHHHHHHH!! this season looks fire and i am willing to give it a shot :) i actually thought that big sky was more about the supernatural but it’s just some white guy abducting women so what’s new

and that does it! tuesdays are for da copaganda :3c taking three hours out of my day of being a police and prison abolitionist to watch ncis, fbi, and big sky 😼 and that is like the only day besides sunday (SUNDAYS ARE FOR DA NCIS NOLA BEST NCIS) so like...i really don’t watch anything on streaming for some odd reason. like, give me a television show on the tv where i gotta wait every week for an episode with commercials and i am THERE but give me a streaming show with zero commercials and i’m like 😐 wonder if there is any content for these...don’t mind me gonna go in da tags 🤠

[while-im-home]

Sunday 15/03/2020

So today I was finally hit by whatever plague has been circling my immune system. I’ve had a kind of sore throat for about 3 days and feeling like I’m burning up every now and then and this morning, I felt like I had been hit by a tonne of bricks. My body aches, I’m sweating buckets, I feel a little confused and dizzy, my sore throat doesn’t seem to be here but something is definitely up. I climb into bed and put the fan on to try and combat this hot flush I’m having. There I stayed for the rest of the day, watching YouTube on my phone all day and hoping I would feel better as the day went on. This did not happen. Unfortunately I don’t remember much of that evening other than feeling sad that this was how I was feeling.

Monday 16/03/2020

Today was hard. Today was the anniversary of my mum passing away. I felt really horrible mentally and physically today. My soul ached not just because she was gone but also because I felt too crappy to do anything to remember her by. I planned to bake some cupcakes and B had given me a wonderful gift to remember her by, a video message that can be sent into space and he was going to record me and pay to send it into space through a company he found last year and had been keeping it a secret until today. It was so sweet of him. I cried for hours that day. I spent this day in bed again, feeling sorry for myself and also a little angry as my online food shop had arrived and half of my order was missing because of those asshole panic buyers swiping all the things. I took a turn for the worse tonight. I felt as though my face and body were pressed against scalding radiators and I felt very tired and delirious. B said I didn’t feel as though I had a temperature but my cheeks felt like they were going to catch fire any second. We tried to call 111 but we couldn’t get through. A lot of other panicked people it seemed. At this point we had been convincing ourselves that there was no way I had coronavirus, I had only seen one person and I was housebound anyway due to my agoraphobia. It must’ve just been a flu. I was drifting in and out of sleep as my body battled all these horrible feelings, my arms and legs felt so heavy and ached heavily. I managed to get to sleep with a cold flannel on my face.

Tuesday 17/03/2020

I woke up feeling a little better. I didn’t feel as though I was burning up anymore but I did feel shortness of breath and I messaged my friend who I had seen around a week prior to see if she had this feeling. She did. Granted her feelings were a lot more cold based where as I primarily had a fever and an achy body. She recommended I call 111 and see what they say. I decide to do it later when B had woken up (he had stayed up really late the night previously). Thankfully B had brought my Xbox into the bedroom for me and I began a playthrough of L.A.Noire. A game I adored but had never fully finished before. I will be talking about this a lot. I flew through Traffic and Homocide that day but before I could even think about starting Ad-Vice B had woken up. He was very anxious. He takes medication for his anxiety and was late in taking it so he was in rather a bad state mentally but called 111 for me anyway as my symptoms had started to worsen again. My ear was bright red and was burning up and that slowly traveled to my cheeks again. We got through this time and the woman was rather rude to me. She said because I had a fever and shortness of breath, they were going to transfer to me to the coronavirus specialist phonelines. I was sure I didn’t have it because I don’t have a cough. And that was the main symptom. They gave them my number and eventually called me back, she was the loveliest woman ever and said that they would keep me on their radar in case my symptoms worsen or anything but until then all I can do is self isolate and rest up. I fell asleep that night struggling to breathe and woke up many times in the night because of it. It was horrible.

Wednesday 18/03/2020

I don’t remember much from today. I remember feeling short on breath all day and feeling incredibly lonely. Self isolation is incredibly isolating, who would’ve known. I miss my friends and my boyfriend. He’s being cautious with me but is still managing to be a loving and caring boyfriend. My dad visited me but didn’t come into my bedroom, was the first time I had seen him in weeks. We don’t really have the best relationship. I remember eating more than I had done the day previously. And I remember that drinking had been a problem, I was struggling to force myself to stay hydrated, I only managed to force myself to drink one cup on one of the days but today I managed to drink around 4-5 pints of water (and a couple of them had orange squash in ☺️). I didn’t feel as feverish today but I did briefly that night. I was mostly very scared because the doom the media has been churning out had kept convincing me I was going to be put in hospital or that I was going to die.

Thursday 19/03/2020

Today was bad but for a different reason. After 5 hours of sleep I was rudely awoken by my own body. I was cramping. Hard. My period had arrived and wasn’t going easy on me. I managed to go and clean myself up and get back in bed. Unfortunately one of the symptoms I get with my period is that I get bad hot flashes. I burn up. So on top of my fever, it was hard to tell if it was my fever or my period causing me to toast marshmallows. And I couldn’t even have a hot water bottle to combat the cramps without completely overheating myself. I pushed through and it got better as the day went on. My shortness of breath felt a little easier but my sore throat had returned. Win some lose some. I finished L.A.Noire properly this time. And oh. My. God. I cried. I cried hard. The ending was so... unexpected and FUCKING SAD???? I have so many thoughts and feelings and although I’m really upset with the ending, it did make me love the game even more on a deeper level. I wasn’t in the mood for another game after that and ended up spending the entire rest of the day watching 2 Broke Girls on Amazon Prime. I’m actually really enjoying it. The writing is a little off and after a while it gets very repetitive. Caroline whines about how far she’s fallen and Max says vagina. There that’s the whole show. Fr though I am enjoying it. It’s a good distraction. B went out today, we know he wasn’t supposed to but we desperately needed some groceries that our online shop couldn’t get us. He was cautious, covered his mouth and tried not to touch ANYTHING he didn’t have to or wasn’t going to purchase to keep chance of spreading whatever I have to the absolute minimal. He also got me a present to cheer me up AND as an early birthday present. It was a Yachemon plush from Overwatch, I laughed so hard when I saw it my shortness of breath got worse. Oops.

Friday 20/03/2020

Today was the best day by far. I felt so much like myself, I barely felt hot at all, my shortness of breath was practically non existent and I actually felt a lot more human, however, I do have a lot Of phlegm in my throat and have had to cough and clear it a few times, still wouldn’t say I had a cough though. I’m a little wary of the people that have said it gets worse before it gets better so am keeping to the bed for a few days longer just in case. I feel so much like myself and was even able to get up briefly without feeling like I was going to pass out! It’s a step in the right direction at least! I was still mourning the L.A.Noire ending and was feeling incredibly lonely again (a common theme, I complained of loneliness to B a thousand times even though we both know he should only really come and see me if he HAS to). But he came down to hang out with me briefly to help me pick a few games to buy from the Xbox store. We picked some that were on sale, the first 5 chapters of Life Is Strange and Mafia II. I decided to start with Life Is Strange and I’m sadly really unimpressed with it. I’m not a massive fan of games where your choices effect certain things because they make me anxious I will choose the bad endings! I’m a little disappointed that it’s a supernatural storyline, I was hoping for something a little more realistic but it doesn’t ruin the game. I love the art style and voice acting, it’s a beautiful game with a promising storyline (even if it’s not specifically my cup of tea). I think the chapters were a little short considering how much they are at original price separately but I guess I’m just lucky I caught it on sale. I’m not itching to play more but I will anyway, I just hope it gets a little better :/.

We’re all caught up. I’ll try and write a diary entry every evening. It will mostly focus on reviewing the entertainment I have and describing my symptoms and just what I get up to. I’m writing for myself and people reading it is just an extra. It’d be nice to have something to talk at like a diary for a while. Even if it’s not talking back I appreciate the social effects it’s having on me.

Anyways. I’ll post today’s diary entry either tonight or tomorrow morning. Until then we take it easy. ✌🏻

[lrhbadomens]

Heart Out

Request:  Do u write imagines based on songs? If so could u do one w lynn gunn based on heart out by the 1975?

Requests are open btw!

I’m rushing in a small town I forgot to call you Running low on know how This beats made for two 'Cause I remember that I like you No matter what I found She said it’s nice to have your friends round We're watching a television with no sound

You had to hear from one of your friends to know Lynn was back in town. You hadn’t even gotten a text or a call from her to let you know she was coming back home which hurt like hell. You considered her as one of your closest friends probably because you used to hang out with her all the time, your feelings for her growing with each day.

“We’re going to watch movies at Steph’s house, you have to come!” Marissa, one of your other friends says to you on the phone. You want to go because you love hanging out with all your friends and you haven’t seen Steph in a long time but by the tone in Marissa’s voice you know Lynn is coming too.

“She’s coming too isn’t she?” You ask her, Marissa knows about your feelings for Lynn, basically everyone knows except Lynn. It would help if anyone knew how Lynn felt but she’s never really been open about her feelings for someone.

“Yeah, we all missed her so we’re gonna catch up. Maybe you can ask her why she didn’t text you?” Marissa says and you reply in a deep sigh.

“So I’m going for a night of confrontation and hurt feelings? She’s been here for a week and she hasn’t contacted me at all, that speaks for itself I think” You don’t want to confront her only for her to say she doesn’t want to be your friend anymore. You’d rather not know than have it said right in your face.

“Please just come, we’re about to head to Steph’s now so hurry up”

Push your lack of chest out look at my hair Gotta love the way you love yourself Your obsession with Rocks and Brown And fucking the whole towns A reflection on your mental health 'Cause I remembered when I found you Much younger than you are now Once it started I am friend zone You created a television in your mouth

You end up in front of Steph’s house, staring at Lynn’s car. She’s already here, she’s inside with all your friends, you’re one door away from seeing her beautiful face again and hearing her beautiful laugh. Walking up to the door, you knock and a couple of seconds later Steph opens the door and engulfs you in a hug.

“God It’s been too long since we’ve hung out!” Steph laughs in your ear but all you hear is Lynn’s giggle echoing through the house and somehow a fire starts to burn in your chest. You’re angry, angry that she hasn’t reached out to you when you thought you were such good friends. Maybe she forgot all about you when she left for tour and found someone better.

You walk into the livingroom with Steph. Marissa, Lauren and Lynn are sitting on the couches as Steph takes her seat next to Lynn you take a seat next to Marissa which is opposite from Lynn, not looking at her once but greeting the others.

Eventually the conversation gets going and the TV is on but no one is paying attention to it. Drinks are flowing and laughter fills the room. And eventually you decide to divert your eyes to Lynn as Lauren is talking to her. You take in everything about her, she dyed her hair since she left for tour and it looks amazing. She turned into a blonde babe and you hate yourself for thinking it but she looks incredible. You watch her crinkle her nose as she pays attention to what Lauren is saying and watch her laugh which makes your heart flutter. And then suddenly her eyes make contact with yours and before you suddenly decide that your shoes are very interesting you see her smiling at you softly.

“I’m going to get more wine from the basement, anyone wanna come help?” You’re about to volunteer as Steph asks but Lauren beats you to it and conveniently Marissa suggests to help look to and supposedly ‘not to get murdered in the basement���, leaving Lynn and you alone in Steph’s livingroom. You keep your eyes on your empty glass in front of you, not daring nor wanting to make eye contact with Lynn again.

“It’s good to see you again, Y/N” Lynn speaks up and you almost laugh at her. 

“Is it?” You answer pitiful, somehow you wish she hadn’t come home cause when she was on tour you thought everything was great between you two.

“Of course it is? What do you mean?” Confusion laces her voice and eventually you lift your eyes to watch her. Her face matching her voice, she honestly doesn’t get it.

“If Marissa hadn’t told me you were in town I probably would still be at home thinking you were on tour” You explain yourself, “Not even a single phonecall or text to let me know you were here, I had to find out from someone else after a week of you being in town. I considered you one of my closest friends and m...” You stop yourself before going further and rephrasing, “I guess I was wrong”

“I’m sorry, I wanted to call but I chickened out I guess” Lynn is now the one to break eye contact. “I didn’t know what to say cause we haven’t spoken while I’m on tour and I know that’s my fault but I didn’t want you to think you’re not important to me because you are, Y/N. You’re my best friend.”

“It certainly doesn’t feel like it” You sigh, shaking your head in disbelief. You want her to see right through you and see what you’re thinking but you don’t want to tell her, fearing rejection and losing her completely.

It’s just you and I tonight Why don’t you figure my heart out It’s just you and I tonight Why don’t you figure my heart out

“I don’t want to lose you, Lynn. When I heard from Marissa you were back in town, it broke my heart. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” Tears threatening to fall from your eyes so you look somewhere else. The couch before you squeaks and soon enough you feel Lynn sitting down next to you wrapping you in her arms and you let her, you missed her touch so bad.

“You will never lose me, Y/N” Lynn sighs, hear chin on top of your head, “You’re my best friend and I’m going to do everything in my power to not lose touch like this again” and you huff in response, best friend, really?  How many times can she repeat that word?

“What? What does that mean?” Lynn pulls back from you so she can figure out your facial expression but she doesn’t seem to get it.

“Why don’t you figure it out, huh?” You didn’t know you were going to say it out loud until you heard it, eyes going wide. 

“It’s just you and I right now, Y/N. We used to tell each other everything, can we please go back to that? I miss you.” She brushes your hair out of your face and you have to stop yourself from not kissing the inside of her palm. You look up at her and are taken back by how close she is, your heart racing and your stomach turning. You used to cuddle with her all the time but she’s been gone for so long that you forgot what she felt like. Your eyes move from hers to her lips, so inviting for you and you notice her face changing and when you focus back on her entire face, you just know that now she knows too.

“I’m sorry” You sigh, leaning away from Lynn, giving her space which she probably needs after finding out that you have hella feelings for her. But her hand wraps around your arm and pulls you back. Her face so close you can feel her breath on your lips, she hesitates for a second and looks you in the eyes and you know your eyes just radiate all the love for her. So she smiles and presses her lips together with yours. Your hand reaching up to hold the side of her face and kissing her properly, not wanting to miss this moment and get the full experience. Kissing her feels like you’ve gone to heaven, it’s all you ever wanted. So you have to break apart cause you’re starting to laugh against her soft lips.

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that” You giggle, your forehead resting against hers and Lynn smiles widely at you which makes your stomach turn.

“I could say the same” Lynn smiles and you kiss her again, not getting enough of her.

“God damn, that’s about time isn’t it? You better appreciate us for staying in that creepy basement this entire time fr you to figure your shit out!” Marissa exclaims and Steph and Lauren laugh by her side as Lynn and you jump apart and see them standing in the door frame. 

The rest of the night is spend laughing, drinking, watching a movie and you and Lynn wrapped in each other’s arms.

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week twenty-five

capsule reviews of the pop songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 30 June 2007 and 1 July 2017

30 June 2007

87) "Teenagers," My Chemical Romance

Y'know, I find Welcome to the Black Parade mostly disagreeable, but heck if this song ain't a bright spot, insofar as a song about bringing concealed weaponry of some kind to school is a "bright spot." (Hey, I dunno, if you have to add a disclaimer to the video saying "violence isn't the answer," you should consider a different song for the single? Just a thought, don't wanna backseat record executive, here, but that seems bad.) Like, apart from the "under your shirt" line, it's kind of a perfect angsty vibe, not Linkin Parky fml angst, more angsty in that eternally adolescent sense of "all adults are robots and I will never conform," it channels that really well, and it has a dope guitar solo. I don't think I've mentioned a guitar solo being fun, and I can't tell if that's because I don't typically care about guitar solos or this is the first memorable guitar solo we've gotten, but either way, best guitar solo of the project so far. I am spending a lot of time on this song because I'm like 60% sure it's gonna be the only song I like this week. (spoilers: it isn’t!)

93) "Imagine," Jack Johnson

You know what's another thing about "Teenagers?" Like, even before I ever listened to Welcome to the Black Parade, I could draw a line from "Welcome to the Black Parade" to "Teenagers." I could make sense of how "Teenagers" would fit in a narrative that began with "Welcome to the Black Parade," how that kid would become angry and sullen and start scaring adults. I wish more singles had some sort of thematic throughline, like I don't necessarily mean Future should write a rock opera, I mean that I should be able to get the sense that like "Shape of You" and "Castle on the Hill" are from the same album. But maybe I'm just projecting, maybe I'm stuck in MUSIC WAS BETTER IN 2007 mode when, as seen here, it clearly fucking wasn't.

94) "Shawty," Piles ft./T-Pain

wait hold up is that the "shawty, yeah-e-yeah, yeah" from the start of "i'm on the boat." did t-pain start all his features with "shawty yeah-e-yeah yeah" and i'm just noticing it now, or did t-pain reuse a run. anyway, piles is the goat: grossest of all time. he drops bars that would make yachty wince. like, this is just the first verse: "i pointed at the donk & told her this s'posed to be yours/showed her a couple stacks and told her i'd let her blow it" what body part is the donk in this context. if piles calls his dick 'the donk' i might throw up, especially since he believes being able to suck on it is a wonderful privilege. "i taught her how to talk to me while she take pipe" well, communication is key to any healthy relationship, i'm glad piles understands its importance "i gotta train her, now she suck me with ice" oh okay that's cool, yeah no, women need to be trained to give pleasure, i get it, totally, chill attitude that was the first verse. piles is the worst. i can't believe we squandered this hook and the "bust it baby, pt. 2" hook on this gross gross boy. oh hey second verse "member she used to run from me, now she like pain" cool. coooooooooooooooooooooooool. what a song!

no updates to the 2007 top 20 week but we’re gonna publish the top 20 because i didn’t last week and you may have forgotten 20) "Get Me Bodied," by Beyonce (5.26.2007) 19) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 18) "I Don't Wanna Stop," by Ozzy Osbourne (5.26.2007) 17) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 16) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 15) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 14) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 13) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 12) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 11) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 10) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 9) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 8) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 7) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 6) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 5) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 4) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 3) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) i still enjoy all 20 of these songs. alright, 2017, low bar for ya. maybe you wanna clear it?

1 July 2017

16) "2U," David Guetta by ft./Justin Bieber

There's something I really don’t like about Justin Bieber saying "Watch me speak from my heart when it comes to you," and then having that line immediately followed by an EDM drop. Like is the drop supposed to be a substitute for words? Is the drop supposed to communicate what's in Justin Bieber's heart? Because all I hear from the drop is "what a nifty drop I am!" But this feels less like a criticism than it does like pedantry. It's OK. David Guetta is a proven programmer of pop music, and this is another solid song that he has made that I wouldn't have been able to pin to David Guetta if I listened to this blind.

70) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott

Worth pointing out that the first autocomplete result for love galore is "love galore travis scott," which is cool. I'm also gonna cop to having this album in my library but letting it sit because there's so much else I have to get to and this wasn't a priority. This song doesn't move the album higher in my queue, but it does have me excited to get to it. This is a dope song, this portrait of an awful relationship neither party much wants to be in, but are staying together because they love each other, whatever that means. SZA regrets hooking up with Travis Scott, Travis Scott admits he was only looking for ass and titties, they both operate independently of one another, but there's love, so there's that. And then the end, when that extremely pleasant bass line disappears, there's that single note on the keyboard and SZA going "woah," then that beat switch into SZA saying "I came here to have sex with you, and if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here," that's just so cool, like this song is complex and intricate and it does the thing "4 AM" did last week where the music occasionally goes out of tone and it does that thing to great effect. SZA's dope. I'm excited for whatever time I get to spend with her in the future. ...OK. OK, fine, I'll fucking leave this nice dark place and go to countrydudetopia.

79) "Do I Make You Wanna," by Billy Currington

Time for a YAS REWIND, because remember last week when we talked about how many people have made it from the 2007 Hot 100 to the 2017? THIS IS RELEVANT TO THAT, because Billy Currington just became the 29th member of the Decade Dance Party! We will share the full list later in this post, because there are only 10 songs this week and most of them blow so I'ma give you some other #content this week, but it's worth noting right here that 9 of the 29 members of Decade Dance Party are country dudes. You drive down enough dirt roads, you're gonna get stuck in the mud at some point. This is a song in which Billy Currington asks his girlfriend if he makes her feel complete and safe, which is either incredibly arrogant or pathetically needy.

89) "Escapate Conmigo," by Wisin ft./Ozuna

HELL YEAH LATIN POP. Gosh, the renewal of Latin pop as a thing we listen to has been one of the best things about doing this silly thing. Like, all the Latin pop is my second favorite thing about YAS, just ahead of Kendrick week but, let's be real, a million miles behind Ashley Tisdale's cover of "Kiss the Girl." This is such a nice song. The beat bounces nicely, Wisin's flow is like "what if Lin-Manuel Miranda rapped in Spanish and was also good" (like maybe it's been a while since I heard that dude rap, but they sound so very alike), and it has one of the best mis-translated lyrics of the year with "My supergirl/The one whose smiles steal me/Tremendous wolf." Tremendous wolf. I adore that.

93) "What Ifs," by Kane Brown ft./Lauren Alaina

I see you, dude. First off, this dude's voice is incredible. Like, after listening to dude after dude either whispering softly over EDM or bleating twangily over the country beat, hearing this dude belt was An Experience. I wish the production would calm down a little bit, like this dude and Lauren Alaina could have made this song an epic ballad on their own, but nah, gotta have the electronic drums spoil a perfectly good opening guitar line, gotta have the standard pop/country things choke the life out of what could've been some cool moments. This dude's a lot like that Luke Combs fella from a few months back, not stylistically or anything, just in the sense that I bet he's cooler than he is on this song, and I trust he's not just some bro country yutz, but I'm not in any rush to check out what else he's got, despite how appealing the song title "Used to Love You Sober" is.

95) "It's a Vibe," by 2 Chainz ft./Ty Dolla $ign, Trey Songz & Jhene Aiko

This was also OK! As stated, this song was a vibe, and gosh darn, if it didn't do much more than vibe, though. A fun way to kill three minutes, a less than fun thing to listen to if you're charging yourself with the task of coming up with some unique point to make about it for to generate likes and the whatnot. S'a'ight, y'know? I'm supposed to write, what, 100 words about something thats'a'ight? I mean, I don't have to, no one ever asked me to and they clearly don't want me to, but like. It's a vibe! It's another one. Fuck it, I don't, sigh, just give me the country dudes and let's get out of this actually-pretty-decent week.

100) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne

OK. OK! OK, hell yeah, no, I'm sorry for calling you country dudes, 'cuz hot damn, this was great. Like, Chris Stapleton gets a lot of hype for making classic country music, but he only makes the sad slow acoustic country music, and like Johnny Cash had "Folsom Prison Blues" and "A Boy Named Sue," y'know? Not to compare this song to those, but this is uptempo classic country, this is classic country with got damn STOMP, and it's dope as hell.

Two new songs in the Top 20 for 2017! 20) "It Ain't My Fault," by Brothers Osborne (7.1) 19) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 18) "Felices los 4," by Maluma (6.3) 17) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 16) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott (7.1) 15) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 14) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 13) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 12) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 11) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 10) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 9) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 8) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 7) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 4) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 3) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) I bumped “Selfish” this week. I have no idea how that happened. 2017′s slowly becoming stacked, and/or I’m an idiot.

Who won the week?

2017. Like? 2017.

2017: 13 2007: 12

Yooge opportunity for 2017 to widen this gap, too, so I’m stoked for a solid two weeks of Chainsmokers songs and memes. Anyway, THE IMPORTANT THING.

The Decade Dance Club

30 people have made or been featured on songs that charted in the years 2007 and 2017. They are: 1) Daddy Yankee (”Impacto,” “Shaky Shaky”) 2) Dierks Bentley (”Free & Easy,” “Black”) 3) Luke Bryan (”All My Friends Say,” “Fast”) 4) Gucci Mane (”Freaky Gurl,” “Make Love”) 5) Jason Aldean (”Johnny Cash,” “Any Ol’ Barstool”) 6) Lil Wayne (”Sweetest Girl” (feat), “Running Back” (feat)) 7) Missy Elliott (”Let it Go” (feat), “I’m Better”) 8) Maroon 5 (”Makes Me Wonder,” “Cold”) 9) Nick Jonas (”Year 3000″ (w/jobros), “Bom Bidi Bom”) 10) DJ Khaled (”We Takin Over,” “Shining”) 11) Beyonce (”Get Me Bodied,” “Shining”) 12) Jay-Z (”Blue Magic,” “Shining”) 13) Linkin Park (”What I’ve Done,” “Heavy”) 14) Rihanna (”Umbrella,” “Selfish” (feat)) 15) Josh Turner (”Me & God,” “Hometown Girl”) 16) Rick Ross (“We Takin Over” (feat), “Trap Trap Trap”) 17) Faith Hill (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 18) Tim McGraw (”I Need You,” “Speak to a Girl”) 19) Miranda Lambert (”Famous in a Small Town,” “Tin Man”) 20) Enrique Iglesias (”Dimelo,” “Subeme la Radio”) 21) Flo Rida (”Low,” “Cake”) 22) Kenny Chesney (”Beer in Mexico,” “Bar at the End of the World”) 23) Paramore (”Misery Business,” “Hard Times”) 24) Miley Cyrus (”Nobody’s Perfect,” “Malibu”) 25) Blake Shelton (”Don’t Make Me,” “Every Time I Hear That Song”) 26) Shakira (”Beautiful Liar,” “Me Enamore”) 27) Rascal Flatts (”Stand,” “Yours if You Want It”) 28) Trey Songz (”Can’t Help But Wait,” “Nobody Else But You”) 29) Billy Currington (”Good Directions,” “Do I Make You Wanna”) 30) Wisin (”Sexi Movimento,” “Escapate Conmigo”)

Shout out to Wisin for making the list, too! So that’s 30, out of hundreds, who have had a career on the pop charts that spanned a decade. Specifically, the last ten years, there’s a few folks who’ve charted in 2017 that didn’t chart in 2007 despite being things back then, such as Darius Rucker, Eminem, John Legend, Mariah Carey, and Pharrell Williams. There’s also some folks who hit in 2008 that have hit in 2017, your Katy Perries and Ladies Antebellum, that cannot make this list because, hey, it’s kind of a dumb list. But music is dumb, and this list should illustrate how hard it is to last in the music business (unless you’re a dude who makes country music), which is why it’s vitally important we spend hours and hours dissecting Lil’ Yachty lyrics.

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #50: Cruise.

Written: 2/23/2017

Entry #34:

I’m getting fucking tired of this job. Day in day out, I have to sing the same old songs that I could give less of a shit about, just so these couples can dance and feel special while they’re out on the ocean. If they knew how much I was tired of my job, I bet my melodies wouldn’t seem very romantic to them. Also, I wonder how many of these wives are aware that their husbands will sometimes lurk in the bar, waiting for me to get my usual post-performance drink, spouting pick up line after pick up line, none of them charming, none of them clever. At least they will cover the cost of my drinks, which I get for free, but they don’t know that. The on duty bartender just splits the money with me when the night is over, and sometimes I can get several guys to pay for the same drink. So its not all bad I guess. At least I get payed well to be hit on, and all I have to do is sit there.

And I get payed well to sing on this tacky cruise, too. I get free drinks, an alright room, the food is nothing to complain about, and I can relax in the sun whenever I’m not working. So I guess none of it is bad, but why am I so unhappy with all of this? Why is everything inside of me telling me to get off at the next stop, which is some poor, South American town that only makes money from tourists who mainly stop by on these cruises. Why do I hate all of this when this should be the easy life, this should be a great deal.

And I love singing too, so why is it so bad when I have to do it for money? Was my aunt right? She always warned that I should never turn a hobby into a career, because then it will just be work. Maybe I should have listened, but then again this job is hardly even work. How come the things that should make me happy, that sound good on paper, always leave me feeling like this? Am I just incapable of feeling positive emotions?

Maybe I just need to start over, maybe I should just leave this job behind.

Entry #35:

I saw a seagull die, mid air, and it landed in the middle of the pool.

Manuel, who is starting to become my favorite bartender, gave me good advice today. He told me that I should order tonic, and pretend that its an alcoholic drink, so that I can drink more and get more tips, without having to stop from getting too tipsy. It seems like I may run into a problem, since I kind of have to drink after every show, but I guess I can get different drinks. Its not a problem unless I make it one.

What’s with all of these people talking about the war going on? Is there a war happening? I guess there will always be a war, but its just weird to feel out of the loop with these sorts of world events. Its like I travel all over with this job, but for some reason I know nothing about the world. Soldiers go on a tour of duty, I go on a tour of ignorance.

Entry #38:

I was supposed to abandon the ship and start up a new life on today’s stop, but I hesitated at the last moment. Well, I guess it isn’t hesitation if it lasted for several hours. Maybe it was cowardice. I hope I wasn’t making a mistake, but if my mood persists then I can get off at the next town, or the one after that. There’s really limitless options for escape, but that may lead me to never pick any of them. Sometimes it seems like I can only go through with things when I’m cornered, when I have to make a decision.

I was talking to an older woman, who always is out in the sun, wearing a one piece that is much too small for her, so her excess fat spills out around the edges, but she always has her hair up in a scarf, and wears these stunning sunglasses. Its like she was some great beauty from the 1950’s that decided to say “Fuck it” and picked up a life of leisure, staying true to herself the whole time. When I get older, when I get to her age, I want to have that sort of confidence, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pull it off. I’m not sure if I have enough natural beauty to dampen the effects of that life style.

Anyways, I was talking to her, and she asked a question that was very odd. She wanted to know why nobody ever saw the captain of the ship. It was a strange question, because I realized that I’ve never seen them either. I don’t even know their name. I’ve been working here for over a month and I don’t even know who’s running the show.

I asked Manuel about it, but then he told me to call him Harrison. Apparently he pretends his name is Manuel just to seem more exotic than he actually is, and it tends to bring him in more tips. Apparently he was born into a wealthy family, who was basically an all American bunch. For some reason, when people saw him they never thought of him as an American, which is weird because what is an American supposed to look like. Apparently Harrison was a pretty great tennis player, who competed against a lot of prestigious, private school kids, but he shattered his wrist in a car accident and he lost his ability to play.

I got so side tracked talking about all of that and completely forgot to gen an answer about the captain.

Entry #40:

There are dark clouds in the sky, all the guests are worried about a storm, but the crew keeps telling us its nothing. Then they bring up that our captain is incredibly skilled, and any storm will be meaningless under his command. So which is it? Is it not going to storm, or are we going to be able to effortlessly get through it?

This was the first time, since my first week, that I actually had fun during my routine. There was something magical about being able to make everyone’s worries melt away, to create an environment that protected them from the threats of the outside world, the ominous clouds looming overhead that usually serve as a lazy metaphor for incoming danger. It was like, for a moment, I understood what it was like to be an entertainer during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and it was like I saved

Oh god, I’m really drunk right now. Forget most of what I just said.

Entry #41:

Well, they were right about the storm, or half-right I guess since they had two contradicting statements about it. We passed through it without it coming down on us, it kind of made everyone feel stupid about being so afraid of it beforehand. It also made everyone celebrate even more, and tonight I had a great time during my job. We jazzed it up. Does that sound dumb? “Jazzed it up”. That sounds like something my mother would say to my friends to try to seem like she knew what the “kids” were into. I guess now even I don’t know what the kids are into, so maybe I am becoming more like my mother, but that just might be a universal truth for when people get older in general. People of certain ages act certain ways and don’t act how other ages can act the way they act, and blah blah blah. Maybe there aren’t any universal truths.

There’s this lovely little Jewish couple, and when I say little I mean old and shrunken, who always slow dances whenever I sing, no matter the song. They spend the whole routine doing their slow box step, and then they wonder off to god knows where. Tonight, when I decided to not drink after the act, since the bar was crowded and I had enough fun to not have to drink away any worries, I found out what the couple got up to. Apparently they always give it to each other in one of the stairwells. I know that it happens a lot, because when I told one of my co-workers, they responded with, “Again? Every night we get a report about them. We’d reprimand them, but honestly its mostly just impressive.” When I caught them in the act they didn’t bother to stop, but they just looked over at me.

Maybe I should get off at the next port, maybe I should end on a high note instead of risking more boredom.

Entry #43:

Well, I had my luggage packed any everything, but I guess I can’t go through with it for quite some time. Its a shame, because this time I was actually ready. This time I don’t think I would’ve skulked around on the ship until the boat left and I would just put it off until we arrived at the next spot.

Apparently there’s something wrong with some part of the boat, maybe the engine, I’m not fully sure. All I know is that we’re not moving, but we’ll probably get going any day now, and if we were really stuck we could probably get help from somewhere. I expect that they have something in place to help with these kinds of situations.

If we were rescued and everyone was taken back to the states, I think I would hate that more than being stuck on the ship. I took up this job to leave my old life behind. Hm. Maybe when I leave this cruise, maybe it will become my old life, and the states will become my new life?

Entry #45:

I’ve been skipping days, in this diary, because there’s really nothing new happening. We’re still stuck, everyone’s still nervous as hell, and my songs aren’t really doing much to ease the worry. I feel like I’m letting everyone down by being unable to calm them, like I did when they worried about the storm, but what can I do?

Today is significant because the captain finally made his appearance. I don’t think anyone expected him too look the way he did, which is handsome. Extremely handsome. He seems less like some cruise ship captain, and more like if Denzel Washington and Idris Elba had a child together. Now it seems like you can’t stop seeing him, so maybe he will be able to calm everyone in the manner that I cannot.

I’m still not fully sure about what’s wrong with the ship, but any day now and we should be heading to our next destination. If the problem was tremendous, wouldn’t the captain be dealing with it, instead of socializing with everyone?

Entry #48:

There’s something about that man, I just don’t know what it is but it feels like a red flag.  He’s too nice, you know? Like there’s no way that anyone can be like that. Its inhuman. Yet, I seem to be the only person that doesn’t trust him, the only one who isn’t won over by his good looks and his aura of charm.

I tried to express my opinions to Harrison, who has become my closest friend on the ship, and he got a little angry with me. He got very defensive when I expressed my distrust of the captain. I was almost a little afraid because of how angry he got, but maybe he’s just anxious about the ship not moving.

Although, it seems like people are getting less and less worried about being stuck in the middle of the ocean. The captain is starting to dominate every conversation.

When we get moving again, I’m definitely getting off at the next town. I’m sick of the fucking ocean.

Entry #51:

It seems like the captain is trying hard to win me over, and people are starting to openly criticize me for not being fully acceptive of him. It also seems like when people talk, now, they either only talk about him, quote him, and sometimes mention normal things like relaxing, dancing, dining, cruise stuff. Yet, I don’t see people enjoying themselves as much, there is usually one or two people who are actually at the pool, the game room, the shuffle board area, etc. And it seems like the only people I can find participating in these activities are the others who are also looked down on, like me, but we are few in number.

Maybe I should get all of the outcasts together and we could kill time together so it wont be as lonely. How long has it been? A week? Two weeks? Its felt like forever since I’ve been here, and with Manuel ignoring me, and refusing to let me call him by his real name, I’m dying for some social time.

A weird thing is, it doesn’t feel like the ship is drifting in the ocean, it feels like we just aren’t moving at all. Maybe I don’t know enough about boats.

Entry #54:

I don’t have a job anymore, nobody wants to hear me sing. Now that time slot has been taken up the captain, who keeps giving his creepy, motivational speeches that everyone seems to just eat up. I’ve only heard one so far, but I don’t like where this is heading. After he gave his speech, and I was hanging out with the other outcasts by the pool, he offered to give me a nicer room, to make up for my unemployment. I politely refused. I feel like if I accepted that from him, I’d eventually become obsessed with him, just like everyone else.

He offered the same deal to Norma, and she jumped at the opportunity, then walked away with him. We were all kind of surprised, but she might have been an accidental outcast. The pressures of not fitting in were probably too much for her.

Thomas, one of the other outcasts, a guy who used to work in the navigation room, told us that food supplies are supposedly getting worryingly low. That makes sense. How long has it been? A month now?

Entry #56:

I just figured out why everyone is saying all of this weird shit, apparently its stuff that the captain spouts out during his speeches. Thomas insisted that we go check one out, and he ended up joining the captain on the stage, crying about all of the awful things that happened in his childhood, repenting, and then he was engulfed by the crowd. The captain claimed that he was reborn, that he was now one of the chosen. It was like being in a fever dream.

Earlier today I asked somebody how long we’d been stuck out here, since I’m terrible at keeping track of the dates, and he told me, “We’ve always been out at sea.”

I saw Norma and she started spouting the same nonsense, and I’m starting to get worried. Everyone is treating me like I’m crazy, and I would agree with them if I didn’t have this diary. If I didn’t have proof of what it was like before we stopped.

I spend most of my time hoping for a ship to come and rescue us.

Entry #58:

There’s only me and one other outcast left, the rest have either joined the reborn, the children of the sea, or have disappeared. On the floor above me, last night, I heard Wendell get scream, and scream, and scream. There was some dragging. Now he’s gone. I have to do something, but I don’t know what. All I know is I can’t stay here.

People have started to say, “There is no outside world, this is the world.”

I’ve been stared at more.

Somebody drew a small X on the door of my room, and it was so small that I almost didn’t notice it.

Help isn’t coming.

That was the last entry, and Manuel was frustrated. Where’d she go? There was no hint of it in any of the entries, and he didn’t want to displease the captain. If he failed his duty, then he could have to take up her role in penance. It wouldn’t be very bad, and it was honorable because then you gave life to the rest of the children. What upset him about the process was that it meant that he would never see their father again, but maybe he could at least become a part of the father.

Thinking about it, he realized it would be pretty nice. And he did volunteer, and fail, didn’t he? So why be afraid, what was there to be afraid of. Blank faced, he marched himself over to the captains quarters, knocked three times, then dropped to his knees, waiting for the door to open. He could hear the captain open the door, and stare down at him, but he waited for the father to allow him to speak.

A minute passed before the father asked, “How did your task go? Have you done what your father has asked of you?”

“I was unable to find her father, it seems like she has escaped. I have her diary, but it didn’t give me anything to go on.”

“It is no problem, she cannot hide forever. There is no escape from the truth.”

“No, father. And if I may, I would like to ask something.”

“Ask away, my child.”

“I would like to take up her duties, since I have failed my own. I would like to give my body, during our congregation, so that I can appease my failure by giving life to the rest of our family. By giving yet another day so they must not go hungry.”