#oh fuck no these credits are like an hour long? how do i skip this shit i got what i came here for

[waywardsalt]

so um. very glad that throughout all this time i never had the end poem spoiled to me

[vivwritesfics]

Tired Eyes

Oscar's girlfriend is hella sleepy and Oscar is the most caring guy

Idk i was thinking about my past relationship and how I don't miss the person but I miss feeling safe enough to fall asleep with somebody after work when the world had taken everything out of me

Oscar Piastri sat in his London apartment, in front of the television. He'd just gotten back from the gym and currently had nothing to do. Oscar sat on the sofa as he skipped through the suggestions on the Netflix account he shared with his girlfriend.

His girlfriend who was due home any moment.

Oscar was waiting patiently, but his patience was wearing thin. Not in an angry sort of way, but he was soon going to begin to get worried.

Y/N being late wasn't uncommon. Her job was demanding had her working into late hours of the night. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just the job, but Y/N had university at the same time. University and then working until 10PM was hard.

Of course, Oscar had offered to help her pay her way, but Y/N had turned him down. She didn't want to rely on him for everything and her studies were important to her.

When Oscar pulled up his phone to message her, the front door opened and Y/N walked walked in.

"Hey, Osc," she said as she dropped her things onto the floor.

Oscar turned in the sofa to face her. "Hey, baby," he said as he stood up and walked over to her. She opened her arms and wrapped them around his thick neck as Oscar pulled her in close. He kissed the top of her head as Y/N allowed him to lead her further into the apartment. "Have you had something to eat?"

Shaking her head, Y/N threw herself down onto the sofa as Oscar went to the kitchen. He wasn't much of a cook, but getting something as simple as a cheese toasty in her stomach before she fell asleep was going to be good enough for him.

As Oscar let the toasty sizzle in the pan, he brought Y/N something to drink as she put on a movie. A comedy, something Oscar wouldn't laugh at, but it was still an easy watch.

Two minutes later, Oscar sat down and passed Y/N a plate with the toasty on it. "Oh, Osc, I love you," she said as she took it from him.

It was gone within a matter of minutes. Y/N placed the plate down on the table beside the sofa and shifted so that she was leaning up against him.

"Long day?" He asked as he wrapped his arm around her.

Y/N nodded her head, her blinks slow. She was so fucking tired and Oscar knew that. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and let her watch the television.

Oscar was barely paying attention to the movie. It was one they had seen before, easy watching, like I said. "I never got this bit," he muttered and looked down at his girlfriend.

But Y/N didn't answer him. She didn't say anything. Her eyes were shut and her breathing was even, small snores leaving her lips.

Wow, thought Oscar as he stared down at her. She was so damn cute.

Oscar didn't dare turn the television off. He knew her too well for that. He knew as soon as the television went off, Y/N would wake up and then she wouldn't get to sleep for at least an hour, no matter how tired she was.

So, he suffered through the movie, his fingers playing with her hair while she slept on.

Y/N didn't stir in her sleep. But she shuffled closer to him and tightened her grip around him as she slept on.

It was only at the end credits that she finally stirred away. Y/N's eyes opened as the music played. For a moment she was disoriented, looking around around at the familiar apartment. "Shit," she groaned as she sat up. "Sorry, Osc," she whispered and pressed his cheek against his shoulder.

Leaning towards her, Oscar kissed her. "It's okay, sweetheart," he said and stood up from the sofa. "Lets get you to bed."

So, Oscar helped Y/N up from the sofa. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he walked her towards their bedroom. It seemed to be effortless for him.

Rather ungracefully, Oscar dropped Y/N onto the bed. She bounced slightly as she landed and Oscar turned to grab pyjamas for the both of them as Y/N pulled back the covers and fluffed the pillows.

As soon as the both of them were changed and ready to bed, Y/N and Oscar climbed under the sheets. Oscar wrapped his arm around her and pulled her across the bed, holding her against him. "Love you," she said, shutting her eyes as her head laid against the pillow.

Leaning over, Oscar kissed the skin of her neck. "Love you."

[underthenightskydreamsneverdie]

Carnal

Summary: Mattheo Riddle meets an unforgettable, mysterious Hufflepuff and spends the school year fighting his feelings.

Warnings: None, just so much sweetness and typical Mattheo behavior.

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle X f!OC

Word count: 1, 817

A/N: I'm so excited to post this story that I've been imagining for months. I really hope you guys like my OC, whose name shall not be revealed until the end. Oh, also for this series let’s pretend they start Hogwarts at 12 years old, making them both 15-16 in this chapter.

Divider Credit to @enchanthings

Check out my Mattheo and f!OC mood boards here!

From the day she stopped Mattheo and his Slytherin friends from picking on a first year, he should have hated her. He wanted to. He needed to. But he couldn’t. The way she had protected the young girl, stepped in front of their jinxes, shaken off the pain like it was nothing, and still not said a cruel word in return as she expertly blocked their spells, had sparked a curiosity about her that he had been fighting ever since. 

Maybe that’s just what Hufflepuffs do, he thought to himself as he snuck a peek at her across the great hall a few days later. No, his gut told him a different story, that’s just what she does. 

Life went on, as it always does, but for Mattheo it was different. His eyes searched every room for her, even as he scolded himself for hoping to find her. Why the hell do you care about this girl, she’s just a stupid muggleborn. Nothing special. His stomach clenched and he broke out in a cold sweat, body physically rejecting the thought. Alright, alright, I get it. 

He didn’t even know her name, had never bothered to remember it, but desperation to know her grew in him like an infection with only one cure. Before long he was ditching his friends to snag a seat near her in classes, waiting around in hallways to walk behind her, listening intently to every conversation for her name. His efforts were rewarded, at least partially, when professor McGonagall directed a question to a “Miss Waters”. His breath caught as her head whipped up and she hesitantly, but correctly, answered. 

Waters. Mattheo sighed softly as her back straightened with pride for a few seconds and she pushed her long ponytail over her shoulder. The pale blonde strands were like moonbeams against her black robe and it took everything in him to resist the urge to reach out to touch them. Oh for fucks sake. Get yourself together, Mattheo. You’ve got her last name, now let it go. 

He tried. He truly did. He spent the next few months forcing himself to ignore her, rolling his eyes every time her sweet voice filled the room, chastising himself whenever his thoughts drifted to her. And it worked. Well enough. Well enough that he could pretend he wasn’t dying to be near her. Well enough that he convinced himself dreaming about a classmate, a very pretty classmate, was a perfectly normal thing for a teenage boy. Well enough that he was no longer scouring his mind to come up with her first name. But the end of the school year was rapidly approaching and he knew if he didn’t discover her name, get to know even that tiny detail about her, she would haunt him all summer long. 

The last morning of the year Mattheo woke before dawn. Laying in the dark he contemplated his options, knowing it was now or never. I’ve only got a few hours left, he thought with a yawn, how am I going to get her alone today of all days? It’s always so chaotic, students running about saying goodbyes, the slow shuffle to the train - the train! That’s it, I’ll find her on the train. He clapped his hands together before he realized what he was doing, fighting back his chuckles as startled groans sounded around the room, the other boys unhappy they were so rudely awakened. He got out of bed, heading for the bathroom before one of the other boys could get there first, a small smile on his face. 

Having decided he should get to the train platform early so he wouldn’t miss her, Mattheo skipped breakfast, hanging around the Slytherin table saying goodbyes to the few other students he knew, bag over his shoulder, ready to leave this place behind. He searched the Hufflepuff table but didn’t see her. She must still be packing like all the other girls. Almost an hour before everyone else he left the castle. 

He ran, as fast as he could, to the train, collapsing as he reached the top step to the platform. His heart pounded in his ears, he was sure he was having a heart attack. Suddenly the very voice he was longing to hear rang through the air, a sweet “are you alright?”. Oh gods, I’m dying. He attempted to stand, leaning against the stone wall, groaning. I’m actually dying and to make it worse I’m hallucinating her voice. 

“I said, are you alright, Mattheo?” Her voice again, I really am losing it. A hand gripped his chin, gently lifting it upwards. His eyes followed slowly, his vision blurred with tears as he squinted into the sunlight. “Mattheo?” His eyes opened wide as he looked into clear blue eyes staring back at him. Oh gods, it really is her. He forced his head back down, his lips grazing her palm before she slipped her hand away. He needed a moment. His heart was pounding again, but for a different reason now. It was the first time he had ever seen her out of uniform and he was certain his mind was playing tricks on him. Was she really wearing- did I really just see that?

He lifted his head slowly this time, eyes drinking in every inch of her. Her black vans stood almost toe to toe with his dirty old converse. There were little white flowers on her shoes, what are those called again? I really should know this- The thought vanished in his mind as his eyes moved further up. Are those snakes on her tights?! Holy shit, they are! He groaned again, hoping she would assume the pained sound was related to his run. He tried not to shift around too much as his pants grew tight, body reacting to the sight of her. His eyes widened as they reached the hem of her pleated, red plaid mini skirt, the little chains hanging over her hips almost making him lose control. He had to bite back a growl as his eyes traveled over her torso, the little flashes of pale skin visible through her ripped shirt making his knees weak. He was hopeless to control the low, desire choked laugh that escaped him as he read the words printed on her chest. Witchy Woman. He would gladly drop to his knees and let her perform all kinds of magic over him, half convinced she already had. She wore more makeup than usual, her eyes seductively lined, gods those eyes, as she looked down at him. But her pale pink lips remained bare, begging to be kissed until they were raw and red, a wish his own body was demanding he make come true. Who knew this quiet Hufflepuff would turn out to be my punk princess. What a day.  

Rising to full height, ignoring the obvious bulge in his pants, he nodded, knowing full well nothing but rude remarks about her looks and ways to satisfy his desire would come from his mouth right now. He watched her turn back to the wall, only now noticing she didn’t have any bags with her. He was so confused by this he didn’t even try to get a peek under her skirt as she hoisted herself up. 

“How come you’re here so early?” He leaned against the wall next to her, looking up at her. “Why haven’t you got any bags?” 

“Haven’t got very far to go.” She shrugged, blonde hair falling around her shoulders as she looked down at him. 

He was unsatisfied with her answer, but let it go, turning his head to look down at Hogsmead. Nothing about this was going the way he had imagined, but he was determined to at least get one straight answer. “What’s your name?” 

She didn’t answer, instead looking up as though sensing something he hadn’t. Smiling, she turned and jumped off the backside of the wall.

“Hey!” Mattheo called after her, moving to the railing of the stairs he had just climbed to look for her. A soft “oh” left him as he came face to face with her. She smiled, spinning the stem of a small white flower between her fingers, a second one tucked behind her ear. Her hair threatened to overtake the delicate flower and without thinking he reached out, brushing the shell of her ear, tucking her soft hair back into place. Gods she’s beautiful. She reached for his hand, placing the flower on his palm. 

“Daisy.” 

He smiled down at the tiny flower, in awe of its delicate beauty. “Daisy.” How fitting. When he looked up she was gone, winding her way down the staircase, heading for the village. Mattheo ripped his eyes away from her as the brakes of the train squeaked to life just feet away from him, his hand instinctively closing around the fragile flower. He smiled as the red and black steam engine slowed. How had she known it was coming before I did? 

Dropping the small flower into the pocket of his shirt to keep safe, he turned back to catch a final glimpse of her. He spotted her climbing over the large boulders near the embankment of the river on the east side of the village, surprised when she threw her hand into the air and waved at him with excellent accuracy. Did she just guess I was watching her? Can she even see me from down there? Chuckling as she moved out of view, he boarded the train, leaning his head against the open window of a compartment. 

He pulled the flower out of his pocket, bringing it to his face. There’s something special about you, Daisy Waters. Gently, he dragged the flower across his lips, closing his eyes. Something very special indeed. 

His eyes still closed he sat back in his seat, one hand rifling through his bag for his journal, pausing suddenly. Over the noise of the train and the carriages beginning their journey towards the school, The wind carried a sound Mattheo never expected to hear. Is that a wolf? The heartbreaking sound of the howl pierced his heart, he knew a lonely creature when he heard one. Before he knew what he was doing he cupped his hands around his lips and howled back, one lone wolf to another. The wolf answered him, and for the second time that day, during the few brief moments as they howled together, Mattheo felt as though he belonged. 

He sat still for a long time, listening closely for the wolf to call again, but even when it didn’t, he smiled. The wolf was free and wild, something he longed to have in common, something he was determined to make true for himself one day. He pulled his journal out, tucked the little daisy between its pages, smiling as he thought about his Daisy. 

[kaija-rayne-author]

13th review in series of Dragon Age Veilguard

98 steam hours logged, 84 game hours logged on final save, (the listing in the game itself) actual gameplay hours (-2 for time in CC) either 96 or 82... depending.

14 hour discrepancy between game logged hours and steam logged hours is likely how much trouble the game gave me in loading, reloading, glitching, and crashing. Do I get to charge Bioware for those lost hours of my life?

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip it if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though., every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard and everything else DA, I'm a Lore fiend.

My pithy pre-end sequence commentary.

Section 12 here.

END GAME SPOILERS

End game spoilers for BG3 too.

13 is my lucky number, but even that couldn't save it. I can't think of a single thing that can save this disaster of a game. I'll write a more professional wrap-up review post too, this is my reaction portion.

I've finished the final sequence of the game. Sat through the credits of probably a thousand people who worked on this piece of shit and still thought it releasable. AND saw the 'easter egg/future game possibility scene'. My kid said I got a hint of hope back in my eyes for about 10 seconds when that final scene popped up then the light faded again. Apparently the 'long slow horrified stare of death' was all over my face again.

Loading in, I dreaded everything I was about to see. Veilguard had already disappointed me in so many ways. I didn't have any hope the final sequence would be any better.

It wasn't as bad as I expected. It was worse. Yes. Honestly.

In all fairness (even if I really don't want to be fair right now) the last sequence does contain some of the best material in the game. If they'd actually written the rest of it with that kind of passion it probably would've been a better game. But that doesn't actually make it good. And how any average person makes it to the final sequence is beyond me. I'm stuck in bed. I've got an excuse.

So. I expected it to be long. That part didn't bother me that much. Most Dragon Age games have long final sequences.

The positive! Ummmm? Oh! I actually did get an intimate scene with Lucanis. His timing stinks but whatever. I did actually get one. I mean, it was one your aunt who's a nun probably wouldn't have found racey, but it exists! Dude. It's 2024, there's this cool toggle function you can click off if you don’t want nudity. It's a Mature rated game and I'm pretty sure most of us know what sex is. Give paying customers what they want!

My least favourite character died.

I called it on Solas killing Varric in the first scene. Interesting twist they did with that, though. Told y'all. I didn't want it to happen either, but the writing was on the wall in great big letters in drippy red paint from the second they fired Mary Kirby (Varric's writer.) In case you want more details than snark on that? Varric did indeed die when Solas stabbed him in the beginning. What you see throughout the game is Solas messing with Rook's mind because Solas needs Rook to work with him. Varric died before the story actually started. That last line of his 'take care of the team' told me. But I got taken in by the twist too. Bet that was a Weekes twist. 'It’s right in front of you the whole time.'

Elgar'nan made a WAY better final boss fight than Coryphyfish.

I did legitimately love watching Teia and Viago fight as crows. That was a really awesome section. (They're two of my favourite characters from Tevinter Nights.)

The bad.

There is no way for me to list it all. So here's the highlight reel.

Varric died.

They lifted almost the entire final battle sequence from BG3. The tentacle they have to climb to the fancy building in the sky. People falling and almost dying by tumbling down the tentacle, having to fight through said self-destructing fancy building in the sky... I know you can't copyright an idea. As an author, I understand and approve of that. But you should at least make the idea a wee bit unrecognizable as to where you lifted it from. Y'know?

Yay! We got to see Solas in wolfie form! He looks like a Chinese hairless crested dog on a really bad day. Like... really needs to go to the salon and have a bath day. I really wish I were joking.

Called it on the Solavellan ending. And NO. Trick Weekes. That DOES NOT give a suggestion of a Happy Fucking Ending. Read some fucking Romance. GOOD romance. (They do. And I'm being very mature by not calling out one of the authors they read who was one of the ones who harassed me off of Twitter. Oh. No. Two of them I've seen Trick mention as books they've read were involved in that. I guess looking at the people someone likes and respects is kinda indicative... isn't it?)

What's that say about me? I don't like very many people. I get along with people as best as my autistic/AuDHD ass can but I don't LIKE very many people at all. Nor do people tend to like me. I have no compunction about calling someone on bullshit. It makes people cranky, but I've had enough bullshit in my life. And I respect about the same amount of people as I like. If I can't respect you? I can't like you. (For anyone who does actually know me... I don't mean you. If I talk with you privately? Or even if I'm willing to? I both like and respect you. Or I wouldn't bother talking to you privately. I'm shit at reaching out. But if we've talked more than once in any form of privacy? You've made the list of my cranky ass.)

Am I a bitch? Probably. Live my life and see if you'd be any different.

No intimate scene for Solas and Inky. After ten years of waiting for Solavellans. After all the shitting on Solas we had to put up with in DAV (and OMFG there was soooo much!!) No actual happy ending. No intimate scene. Oh, but you do get a rather grody kiss between them because he's just been fighting and has blight all over his face. But yay? They get to kiss? With absolutely no passion at all. Maybe the passion of a bavarian cream pastry? A rotten one? Ew. Before dissolving into fade gook.

The entire time I spent in CC for my Inky to make her look like my player character from DAI? It didn't show up in the final sequence. And no way was I replaying that hellscape to see if it MIGHT could be coaxed into actually showing her the way I made her. I just got the stock body.

So... y'know the veil? That edge of reality that has been getting more and more holes in it throughout the entire history of the Dragon Age Franchise? The veil that the Lore has been pretty clear about it strangling both the magic and the life out of THEDAS? Not to mention everything the elves lost because of it? That veil?

It's all better now. Regardless of the Lore. Because Solas bound his life force to it. So instead of a quick bandage being pulled off to get rid of the veil that really does need to go (y'know if Bioware writers actually gave a rat's ass about the fucking lore of the world they're writing in)... Now it's there until Solas dies... which he can't really do easily being one of the first Elves. Sooooo by the very lore of the world they've crafted... THEDAS is now doomed to die.

Congrats Bioware. Well done. /s

Oh, but THAT doesn't matter. Because everything from the very beginning of DAO has been 'influenced' by 'the ones from across the sea'.

Pardon me while I gag.

The entirety of THEDAS and everything that's ever gone wrong with it is the fault of 'the foreigners from across the sea who wear clothing that's kiiiinda a lot like a Burqa.' Y'know... the black over gowns and veils Afghani women and some other Muslim folks wear?

Cause... uh... yeah. That's a GREAT idea. I legitimately cannot believe they went there. I just... I can't. Bioware hasn't ever really been great on the racism front but I'd hoped they'd gotten at least a little bit better.

Nooooope.

There were a couple of mentions of something like 'the gathering storm' in Taash's quests and how she's a weapon against them. HUGE spoiler I'm sure, but I'm pretty sure they want to make a game that deals with 'the foreign invaders who have been subtly influencing everything wearing black burqas and veils' as the next Dragon Age. Or maybe they'll call it a spin off since it has to be getting close to the end of the actual Dragon Age in the calendar.

I really hope I'm not the only one who can see the issues there. Not that I expect Bioware to. Honestly? I used to pray that DAV would save Bioware. I've liked them as a company for a while, but this is it for me. I'm done.

I might enjoy the first three DA games occasionally if I feel like it. But DAV does not exist for me. Anything they make going forward does not exist for me. That fucking bullshit about no one having had any free choices in the entire history of the games/books/comics etc.? AND the next game's bad guys looking like they wear burqas?

Bioware has made my boycott list. And I honestly hope they sink like the fucking Titanic for the shit they've pulled in DAV and that last fucking scene.

With that scene, they not only shit on many cultures who veil, they shit specifically on Afghani people who are required to wear that. Whether they want to or not.

They also, from a writing perspective, removed every single bit of agency from any of their previous characters. Making every single game pointless in the history of the world.

I'm just done. My boycott list is pretty long. I have these pesky standards. I'd already compromised them by continuing on with playing Bioware games regardless of their well known issues. But nope. Done. Finite. Time to cut the rope and watch it sink.

I would never, in a million years, recommend this game. On those two reasons alone. But also because it doesn't do anything a good CRPG (Computer Role Playing Game) is supposed to do very well.

It doesn't hold up the Dragon Age expectations for anyone who has played the games or enjoyed the lore. They basically shoved all the lore under the proverbial carpet. (Must have made a hell of a lump. That's a LOT of Lore. Trust me. I know. I've marinated myself in it.) On the surface it LOOKS like a CRPG. It has the elements of one... but so few of the elements are carried through that it's kinda shocking to me that they dared to advertise it as one. I mean... didn't someone tell them pissing off people by advertising something they aren't delivering is a bad idea?

It's full of easily fixable plot holes. Seriously, they'd be so easy to fix! They just didn't bother.

Where DAI was an intricately woven adult CRPG masterpiece? DAV is a poorly woven bedsheet with arm sized holes in it and lots and lots of stains. Made for kids.

CRPGs have a long history. Bioware and Dragon Age do too. DAO came out in 2009, Dragon Age 2 released in 2011, both were solid CRPGs. You felt like you were playing a role playing game. Bioware then released DAI in 2014. And in the Dragon Age series, DAI is the crown jewel.

It had everything a CRPG is supposed to have. It wasn’t perfect, no, but it's definitely the best of all 4 games for being what it's supposed to be.

CRPGs generally do not challenge the player as far as manual dexterity or physical response time. That's for action/fighting games. I'm not a professional level gamer. But gaming is my number one hobby and source of entertainment. I play on hard level for most games I play, if not ultra hard. I struggled with the shitty DAV fighting system. Dear gods, who had the brilliant idea of tying accumulation of skill points to how high your bond is with your companions? That's just... the kindest thing I can say is poorly thought out. Especially when you can only take two of them with you on missions. My not-a-fucking-rogue should never have had aggro. And they always did. I'm intimately acquainted with the inside the mouth animations on the dragons.

RPGs are supposed to have intricate, layered world building, a levelling system that makes your characters grow and develop as they progress through a well developed world, often they have fighting, puzzles, and other mechanics to spice things up. But there's some very specific things an RPG needs. And DAV has so few of them. They focussed so much on that shitty gods damned fighting system that had my not-a-fucking-rogue always plastered with the 'come eat me' aggro flag that they failed to deliver on so much else that an RPG needs to have. Especially a CRPG.

I think I heard someone on the dev team say they were quite happy with how the characters and romances came out and um. Well. Might I politely suggest learning how to write better? Cause they weren't. From both a professional and consumer level? They just weren't good.

The characters were dishwater boring with no character development possible. The romances were... not. I'll just leave it there.

Those are a few things I KNOW I'm good at. Just because my fans have told me often enough that I've almost internalized it by now. What? Characterization, writing intimate scenes, and writing romance. My writing voice is very love/hate like many authors. If you love my voice and read kinky romance, you'd probably like it. If you don't like my voice? No story I tell will satisfy you. But from an editorial and writing standpoint? The characters and romances in DAV needed so much work. As much as the plot.

I'm no stranger to trauma. And yes. I did it to myself. I needed to play the ending for myself and I wanted to see what the game was like. I feel traumatized. Abso-fucking-lutely traumatized.

If you're Solavellan and looking for reviews to tell you whether it's worth buying and playing? It. Is. Not. On any level.

Oh and you know those Steam Achievements you get? At the beginning they were like in the high 90s and 80s percentages. The last two I got were from the end game. 2.2% and 6.8%. Respectively. According to my kid (who usually knows more than I do about things like that) that means people stopped playing before they got there. (Or possibly just haven't gotten there yet. I did play it reasonably fast because of my current circumstances.)

I really wish I could say better things about this game. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the other three. As much as I've loved most Dragon Age material. Something about it just captured me. Until DAV.

More professional review to follow at some point.

If my review series has been helpful... and I really really hate to ask, but if it has been? My work of words is my family's only income. My partner is still recovering from a broken back, and I'm recovering from a pulmonary embolism. Money is so tight it squeaks. If you're not gonna buy the game anyway after reading my blather, a tip would surely be appreciated.

All my links are at the bottom of my website. And the tips button up top is set up too.

My response to breaking media blackout.

[blackbatcass]

If it’s okay could you recommend comics for the flash fam? I really want to start reading them but I have no idea where to start 😅

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN ANON!! reading flashfam comics can change your life for the better fr, unlike batman comics which usually change your life for the worse. Flash comics are honestly very simple to get into? for the most part you can just pick which era you want to start with, hop on that mainline ongoing and read from there.

this got kind of ridiculously long (i ramble about flash sorry)

i am not by any means a well-read silver age fan so I'll just skip right over those LMAO. if you want to read barry's run i assume you can just read flash v1 up until crisis. if you're interested in reading wally as kid flash he's featured in backups throughout a lot of v1 iirc!

unsurprisingly, my number one rec for the flashfam would be the flash volume 2 (1987). it's got pretty much everything you need. it introduced the speed force, basically created what we think of as the flashfamily, reintroduced & created beloved characters, and built up wally into the loser we know and love today<3 at its core it's the story of wally's journey from the very start of his career as the flash, learning how to fill barry's shoes and be a grown-up. it starts when he's this insane cringe 20 year old loser and ends with him as a full adult who's married with two kids LOL. it does soooo much work for wally as a character it's unreal.

but to keep it real flash v2 is......very long. like Incredibly long. it is 200+ issues and ran for over 20 years. so i can break it down into some smaller pieces & try to provide a roadmap so it's maybe a little less intimidating

the bad news is that the first guy to start out on the run fucking HATED wally for some reason lmfao and it shows. it's painful to read. the good news is he only stayed for the first 14 issues lol so honestly you can just skip those and start at #15 where william messner-loebs took over. now......the messner-loebs era is also not perfect and can be a bit of a slog. I love it in the fond 'wow wtf was all that' kind of way but it is definitely not a masterpiece. there are a lot of unmemorable, bland (occasionally batshit & ridiculous) arcs and he introduces a whole army of mostly forgettable side characters. credit where credit is due there is a lot of good stuff in there, he set up some stuff that is foundational to flash lore (like LINDA!! and hartley!) but it's not for everyone. if you want you can jump in at #31, where wally moves to keystone, or if you read some of it and it's not for you it's honestly fine to just skip to #62 where waid's run begins. #62-65 are a flashback retelling of wally's origin story (basically flash year one) and it's sooo good. essential wally reading.

the waid run is definitely the best section of the comic. it's classic it's iconic it builds the flashfamily it creates the speedforce it introduces bart allen. it's phenomenal. if you are interested in characters like bart, the garricks, johnny & jesse quick, and max mercury they are all integrated into the flashfam over this run. if nothing else i would recommend reading this part. oh and SPEAKING of bart allen, he gets introduced in issue #92! he hangs out in flash for a bit, zero hour happens, and pretty soon after his impulse series starts in 1995.

this is my #2 flashfam rec! if you have been in these tumblr circles at all then you've heard us rave about impulse 1995. it's simply Thee comic of all time. everyone on earth needs to read it im not kidding. it follows bart's life living with max mercury and his daughter helen, trying to adjust to normal life in the past. it's just. it's the best. it's 89 issues long, but honestly it goes by SUPER fast. i would recommend doing what i did and reading impulse and flash in parallel, just to get that organic experience & context. they cross over several times until impulse eventually ends.

ok back to flash v2. once geoff johns takes over..... i mean i won't say it ruins the comic and there is definitely stuff worth reading but i love waid infinitely better. it's really up to you. waid also comes back now and then to write a few chunks.

the flash series doesn't end until 2008. the next big thing after would be flash: rebirth, which. i am not a fan of for obvious reasons (get back in that coffin barry) but it's essential to understanding the plot so i have to include it lol.

i honest to god have no idea wtf was going on during flashpoint & new52. I will not pretend to understand that era. however if you are interested in the modern flashfam & the introduction of characters like ace west and avery ho, there are a couple good places to start! if you want to read williamson's run, you can start at the rebirth flash run (flash v5 #1). wally is eventually reintroduced (thank god) during this run.

if you want to start at the jeremy adams run (which features lots of members of the flashfamily) you can start at flash #768, which runs all the way to #800.

I would personally recommend the current flash ongoing written by si spurrier! it is kind of a lot and I'm in the minority in my love for it but it's interesting, thoughtful, has a role for pretty much every character, and has a lot of really cool cosmic horror elements. i will concede that it is VERY complicated and technical but you can tell spurrier has things to say and honestly it's so rare that a comic makes me think these days that i'm eating it up.

there were also two recent flashfam miniseries that just finished, speed force and jay garrick: the flash! i enjoyed both. they're short and fun.

aaaand that's my list! it is by no means comprehensive and it is very possible i got some things wrong so I apologize in advance. if you have any more questions I will be happy to try and answer them. I hope this was at least a little bit helpful and not even more confusing lol!

[sahib-can-do-it-better]

uwu... OOC post tiem

I've been tagged by the incredible @high-humanity-reminders in this post.

I am a chronic OC playlist maker. This will be easy as fuck. ((Edit: I started this at like. 1:28pm. It is now 3:01pm. An hour and a half. I took an hour and a half skipping through songs to make this.))

Six Song Track

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following . . .

1. Event that defines your character's past:

Brutus by The Buttress

Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy I too have a destiny This death will be art The people will speak of this day from near and afar This event will be history And I'll be great too I don't want what you have I wanna be you

2. How your character sees themselves:

Weight of the World by Shayfer James

That's just the weight of the world We do what we must to get by That's just the weight of the world The weak and the weary will never survive That's just the weight of the world We do what we must to stay alive That's just the weight of the world We'll all be the weak and the weary sometime

3. How others view them:

Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage

I have you strung Strung in my web A candle burning slowly by the bed Shadows tangle like a vine Crawling up the posts within our shrine [...] I love that you shake When I ravage your skin It's so easy to bite with your hands pinned Shadows dancing on the sheets If you obey I might give you a treat

4. Their closest relationship:

Stalker's Tango by Autoheart

It's not that complicated No matter what they say You'll never meet another me It's not that difficult To get your head around You'll never meet another me You'll never, never, ever, never, ever meet another me [...] It's not that complicated No matter what they say I'll never meet another you It's not that difficult To get my head around I'll never meet another you

5. A major fight scene:

You're Not Welcome by Naethan Apollo

Hello! I don't start fights but I'll handle you just fine Usually I'm very kind to others But I won't think twice if you step to me or mine You're a slimy little motherfucker Uh oh, don't you know? You're not welcome 'round here I think you should go 'Fore you cause some drama Uh oh, don't you know? I'm the one you should fear Talk to me if you've got a problem

6. End credits song:

Life Eternal by Ghost

Can you hear me say your name–forever? Can you see me longing for you–forever, forever? Would you let me touch your soul–forever? Can you feel me longing for you–forever, forever? We dance once more, I feel your hands are cold Within your heart, a story to be told This is the moment of just letting go

((👉👈@kindred-lady-of-science ))

Full Sahib playlist under the cut.

[twilightknight17]

The Promised Day - Part 3

Man, I left this for a while. God. Too much to do, too little time, and work is fucking exhausting. But let’s talk about the ending, finally.

Where last we stood, the Great Seal was cast, and everything faded to white.

Probably the closest any of you will ever get to seeing the Sea of Souls.

It’s crushing, how upset they are that everyone made it but one person. Honestly, I get the sense that any number of casualties would have been too much. This was an all-or-nothing fight. It was supposed to be that everyone goes home, or no one does.

But no, the one person they lost was their leader. In the end, there was nothing they could do.

…….it’s not the Sea of Souls, it’s the Universe. Oh god. Of course he can hear them.

Stop talking like you and Nyx are the same. T_T You’re not!

He does sound proud of them, though.

SEES is returned to the front of the school, Tartarus dissolves into light, and Minato walks out of the now-normal building so that everyone can hug him and cry all over him. If I didn’t know how this ends, I’d be really mad about ten minutes from now.

I do like that, after the timeskip, this version of the ending starts the exact same way as the other one, since they still don’t have their memories in this version.

Man oh man am I popular, though. This isn’t even all my social links, and look how many people want to talk to me!

It’s morbidly hilarious that this game literally started the trend of “walk around and talk to everyone the day before the ending”, but Minato’s the only modern protag who wasn’t going to leave. Not by choice, anyway.

You and your girlfriend can’t both have amnesia, my guy. Get it together.

We find out that Kenji is excited because apparently there are going to be three new teachers next year, and they’re all hot. So he has learned nothing. Lots of social links sent letters, because the end of their link was literally them leaving town.

(Minato wasn’t going to leave, everyone else was. Inverse Persona ending. X’’’D)

The Gourmet King is gone (no tears here). Maiko’s dad says she’s doing well but also says I’m absolutely not allowed to marry her. We’re able to give Akinari’s mom the notebook with his story in it. Mamoru and Kaz are doing fine. Bebe, tragically, has decided not to come back to Japan right away. He’s gonna stay with his uncle for a while so they can grieve his aunt together.

Ms. Toriumi is taking the accidental revelation that I’m her MMO buddy very well.

God I laughed so hard.

All the cats I saved from Tartarus are vibing in the back alley!

I think I saved eight total? I wonder if there’s more. Secret cat ending. Fill the whole alley.

And…

...can I listen to my music box now? Please. T_T

As Mitsuru makes her graduation speech, SEES starts to remember, and rushes for the roof, where Aigis and Minato are already skipping the ceremony.

That’s a long time.

I ended up dating Aigis just because I actually maxed her link, and I think the only other girl I maxed was Yuko? Maybe? And Maya, but that wasn’t a romance option, which I still think is weird.

So, the credits. They, uh, didn’t have to do that. Like, it’s brilliant. Having his silhouette sinking deeper and deeper and gradually fading away to represent him doing the same. He vanishes completely and only then does it end, and we get to see SEES reach the roof just barely too late. Beautifully done, Atlus, I started tearing up, how dare you. X’D

And then the main menu is no longer the Dark Hour.

So, overall, other than some nitpicks, I think this was a really solid game. But as a modern remake of a preexisting game, I think they could have gone further. Why NOT just make your male teammates possible social links? Why NOT include Hamuko? Why NOT include The Answer with the base game? Why lie and say you want the “core” (read: original base game) P3 experience, but then add new things?

Why make Ryoji tell you he wants to be more than friends and then not give you a third dialogue option?!?!?

(I know the answer is money. It’s always money. I am just salty.)

But I could forgive more of that if they hadn’t nerfed the final boss. I did some googling, and pinpointed some other things about the Nyx Avatar fight that didn’t line up. Before, he could attack twice per turn. This one can’t. They gave the Death Arcana an extra thousand health, but the old version automatically took half-damage from EVERYTHING except almighty. They took away Moonless Gown, and therefore took away his ability to become invulnerable. Apocalypse can reduce your HP to 1%, but if he’s not attacking twice per turn, someone always has time to heal, so who even cares?

(Shoutout to the Fandom wiki for being like, “It is strongly encouraged to heal when it uses this skill”. No shit, guys. Wow.)

And yeah, they buffed his spells up a level, but ultimately, all the things that might have actually made the boss genuinely hard got nerfed.

It kind of sucks. They gave him a cool new color scheme for the final arcana and then weakened him. Why even.

Anyway, gonna do NG+ on hard mode to finish all social links and the compendium, and also probably going to do something really stupid like solo the Avatar with my level 99 Minato and Thanatos just for giggles.

Because hell yeah. :D

[dspdick]

okay. apparently ranting on tumblr is the way to go so here i am. on a rant about my bitchass college life.

first of all. my classmates. GOD. the people in my group would be fine if the guy that i considered a potential friend didn’t stop talking to me after i rejected him at a party. he was genuinely interested in me as a person and my interests and then he had to go and ruin it by taking rejection like a little bitch. i would’ve been fine with it IF HE IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIDNT START TALKING WITH ANOTHER GIRL THAT I GET ALONG WITH. AND STOPPED ANY FORM OF CONTACT WITH ME. motherfucker i’ll hunt you down for sport if you ignore me for the year and a half i’m going to be in that class.

then there’s the bitch in my group. OH MY GOD. you’re TWENTY YEARS OLD. TWENTY ONE I DONT CARE. and yet you behave like an edgy sixteen year old that just got tumblr?? “ooooh i’m so edgy all i do is complain and bitch and give people dirty looks.” i’m surprised you have friends, let alone roommates that didn’t let the carbon monoxide leak when they spent the night out and you slept alone. i hope you know i fucking hate you and the way you monopolize people is elementary school shit. which you seem to think you’re in anyways?? kids like you shouldn’t be reading the shitty ass tiktok books you keep recommending because of how hard the main characters fuck.

and the rest of my group keeps ignoring me lol. none of them wait for me to finish packing my shit and none of them talk with me out of college. oh wait they do. to ask me about homework. EVEN IF I DONT KNOW SHIT BECAUSE I KEEP SKIPPING CLASS. PAY ATTENTION IN THE LECTURES INSTEAD OF PLAYING SUDOKU.

and these people are the ones i spend most of my time with. because among the 20-something other students in my goddamned degree (yes. there’s 20-something of us in an entire undergrad. we used to be in the 30s but people kept dropping out for reasons ill touch on later). there’s one that keeps throwing ALUMINIUM WRAP BALLED UP. AT EIGHTEEN YEARS OF AGE. i can’t stand that bitch GOD i hope she drops out too.

my degree is a completely different subject. first off we have eight subjects this semester. EIGHT. we have more than any other degree in this fuckass university, and the workload is frankly ridiculous. i hope my professors aren’t aware that their subject isn’t the only one in the world because if they know the shit we have to do for other subjects and they keep sending us all the shit they do im killing them all and then myself. what the fuck do you mean the business professor keeps making us work as much as in development biology? ITS WORTH HALF THE CREDITS.

and my degree supervisor certainly doesn’t help. maam what do you mean we “can’t afford to have compromises and extracurriculars outside of college work”? kill yourself oh my god i’m paying 500€ a month (with my scholarship included!) to get an education not worked to the ground. i spend over ten hours in college when we have labs because for some reason we can’t have them just after classes to let us go home early like EVERYONE ELSE IN A SCIENCE DEGREE.

the worst part is that the people who organize the mandatory stuff for all students ignore the existence of labs. listen. i’m cool with having to do volunteer stuff. but don’t make me do 50 hours like everyone else because they don’t spend as much time IN THIS UGLY ASS UNIVERSITY. also can we at least have more smoking-allowed points in campus if you’re going to keep exploiting us? i’d like to be able to cope unhealthily with everything else in my life like the adult i am please and thank you.

and this is as far as i’m going because it’s getting long. i’d be surprised if anyone read as far as this so if you did thank you please like comment n subscribe for more rage-fueled content

[pertinax--loculos]

Word Find Tag

So, @winterandwords tagged me to find the words small, work, see and outside. I’m going to be using my new WIP for this, because it turns out that even with only a few scenes written I actually have enough to hit all these words. :D

Small (Maddie POV)

Verreynne chuckled. It was a truly unpleasant sound. “Fuck you.”

“If you don’t help us, you’re going to die.”

A moment of silence. Verreynne sat back slightly, tension creasing his eyes momentarily as he shifted his shoulder. Then he said, “That a fucking threat?”

Maddie’s heart skipped a beat. It took every ounce of training and experience she had not to quail under the hissing, implicit promise of violence. “It’s merely a statement of fact, Mister Verreynne. Locked up in here, you’re vulnerable. At least if you’re out with the rest of us you might have a fighting chance.”

She wasn’t sure how long he stared at her. Probably it was only seconds, but they seemed to stretch into epochs, time bending and yielding in the too-quiet, too-small space. Maddie worked to keep her face neutral and her breathing even.

She might have even succeeded, because Verreynne finally tore his gaze from hers and fixed it on Flack.

“I will end you for this,” he said.

Work (Maddie POV)

“Scan our surroundings,” she said. “I wanna know whether there’s anything out there we’re gonna hit.”

“What does it matter? We’ve got a compromised hull with fourteen people about to start using a whole heap of oxygen we don’t have. We’re talking minutes here, Fletcher, never mind hours.”

Maddie shoved [Harrison] in the shoulder, turning him back towards the panel. “Scan our surroundings,” she gritted out through her teeth. “Tell me what’s going on here.”

Harrison muttered and started tapping at the panel. It would be harder work than if they still had a bridge, but he was clever enough to be able to patch into their remaining external sensors.

What was she doing? Harrison was right. Their deaths were guaranteed. Would it make anything any better, knowing how it happened?

Maddie shook the thoughts away. With the rest of the bridge gone, she was the commanding officer. She’d do what she could right up until the last minute.

See (DJ POV)

Kathleen’s eyes were wild. Her focus was somewhere on the room behind him, and the emptiness that leant her gaze was only underscored by the too-clear sheen of tears, gathering at the edges of her eyelids and dripping down her face. No undertones brightened her complexion, just the ashy look of shock. Her grip was surprisingly firm.

“Oh god,” she moaned. “Gracie.”

Her daughter. The one she was going to see after all these years. What had she said, appearing like a ghost in the haunted hallways of this deathtrap, to make Kathleen so desperate? What lies had she whispered that made Kathleen believe shooting [Redacted] was the right thing to do?

No. DJ shoved the questions away. Kathleen was sick. She was his patient. He had to treat her. That was all.

Outside (Verreynne POV)

With none of the normal engine noises, it was easy to hear footsteps coming down the corridor. Verreynne tensed, and the thing in his shoulder grinded again. He closed his eyes for a sec. Swallowed down the sickness grumbling in his belly. Fuck. No idea how many hours it’d been since they’d been out of cryo. Enough. Too many.

Something clanked or clicked on the outside of the door, and that fucking rage he’d felt when he’d first seen that sick smirk on fucking Flack’s face lashed at him again. They’d cuffed him, tied him, dragged him to this pathetic spit of a closet in a ship he didn’t know, and they’d locked the fucking door. Suppose he should be grateful Flack was giving him so much credit. It was an empty sorta consolation.

I’m gonna tag back @winterandwords, @oh-no-another-idea, @thegreatobsesso, @blind-the-winds, @artdecosupernova-writing, and @crosswise (not sure if you’re into tag games? If not, ignore!) to find the words bleak, yearn, fall, alive and knowing.

[snakesanderson]

the sunset song film adaptation is making me so evil terence davies either you fundamentally misunderstood this book or you are an incompetent writer

my incoherent liveblogging/ranting is under the cut (spoiler warning for 90 year old classic scottish literature i guess)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THATS THE ACTOR THEY GOT TO PLAY WILL the whole reason i’ve put off watching this movie is because i don’t like the casting of ewan and now he’s not even here yet and i dislike every single casting choice they’ve made ESPECIALLY will and john guthrie (i am wondering if the casting director or those actors ever read the book)

john looks kind of old and less physically imposing than i would want him this guy has no foreboding presence or sense of threat and will is meant to be chris's older brother, more experienced with the world etc. so why is he crying in every other scene

and i understand the value of films being pretty. i even like it when films are pretty a lot of the time but are you telling me i am to believe this is aberdeenshire in the harvest???? respectfully there is no way this was filmed in scotland

it doesn't even make sense thematically for this part of the film to be pretty chris's mother just killed herself and her babies!!! her wee brothers just got sent away to aberdeen!!!! why are we doing this blue skies and warm sun thing???

THEY CUT OUT THE BIT AT DUNNOTTAR CASTLE WHAT ARE WE DOING HEREEEEE THAT WAS A DEFINING MOMENT IN THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP OF THE SECOND ACT OF YOUR MOVIE TERRENCE DAVIES WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

why did chris sing flowers of the forest in english why did they sing auld lang syne like that what the fuck terence davies why did you write your movie this way???

you’re compromising a significant character moment for your protagonist and skipping the foreshadowing for ewan’s whole deal by fucking with the second verse when the lyrics in the book do a better job of tying in your themes of scottish vs english chris and the whole world war one, dying for a war hundreds of miles away that kinda has nothing to do with you thing that is kind of important to the second act of this story

i don't understand messing with the pronunciation in it either, are you trying to make it easier to understand for folk from other countries? but they're still missing the whole cultural context of flowers of the forest so it’s gonna do you no harm to say flooers o the forest, surely, and you're not doing that anywhere else in the film so. why not just stick with the version in the book???

and folk don’t just stand around and sing auld lang syne that’s so weird why are you fucking with the tone for no reason how hard would it be for chay to be all “well chris that was depressing. anyways-“ and then everyone can hold hands and sing auld lang syne and be normal, what do you think you’re adding to this story terence davies?

OH MY GOD THE ENDING WHY IS THERE A MAN SINGING A DIFFERENT VERSION OF FLOWERS OF THE FOREST TO ME NOW WHY IS THERE A FULL TWO MINUTE LONG BIRDSEYE PAN OVER NO MAN'S LAND TERENCE DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FILM IS MEANT TO BE ABOUT sunset song is not a book about wwi, so i don't see the point in some guy singing flowers of the forest over footage of some mud the movie is already over two hours long and that should never have made it in the edit this is meant to be about chris guthrie just do the man playing it on the pipes, ewan dies, chris shouldn't be weeping about it, standing stones and you're done roll credits

part of the problem i have with this movie is that sunset song isn't a book that lends itself to film adaptation because a lot of it happens internally to chris and the narration here just didn't work imo it was spotty and didn't really fit in with the film the way it should've but i've changed my mind about the casting of ewan i actually liked him and chae and long rob and i thought chris was okay and i didn't like anyone else basically

anyway i didn't like this film as an adaptation, there is a play version i saw last summer that i think did a better job pretty much across the board in part because i think it's a better medium for the story.... but also terence davies answer my emails you must justify your choices to me lewis grassic gibbon is rolling in his grave rn and its your fault

[conflictandscotchblog]

Turbulence On A Trip With My Ex-Wife (Part One)

Anyone who knows me, knows that I do not like to travel. Give me a week at the Jersey Shore, and I’m in. Anything that involves long car rides or, God forbid, putting me on an airplane, no thank you.

The guys I play trivia with every Monday at the bar often talk of their many trips abroad, and always end their stories with, “Al, you really should travel”.

“Travel?” I feign astonishment, “Oh, I travel.”

I raised a finger to punctuate each town, “I’ve been to Raritan, I’ve been to Somerville, and I’ve even been to Bridgewater!” (Note, each town is easily within ten miles of my house)

However, an invite to my godson’s wedding changed all that. Turns out, he was getting married in Oklahoma (is there really even such a magical place?).

Turns out, there is and I was going to have to get a plane to get there (actually, more than one).

I will leave out the logistics, just know I would be traveling with my ex-wife, Arlene.

The first harbinger of things to come, when Arlene (who drove to airport) missed the Economy Parking Lot at Newark Airport. To rectify that error, she started to back up on the roadway, only to have a Transit Authority SUV pull up alongside us.

“What are you doing?” the officer asked, not so much what she was doing (that was obvious) but why.

Arlene explained, and he told her to pull ahead to the stop sign, and make a left.

With the car parked, we waited for a shuttle, because the airport was miles away.

When the driver said, “Hold on,” who knew that would be an understatement.

That shuttle’s twists and turns tossed us around like rag dolls in a child’s room. I was afraid to let go of the pole.

But, finally, in the airport, that’s when the real fun began.

No need to describe airport security to anyone, but not being a traveler, this was a bit of a shock.

“Empty everything into the bins,” the security guard said, “shoes, belt, tablets, phones, everything in the bins.”

So I did. Except, as I walked toward the scanner, realized my cell phone was still in my pocket.

“Go back and put it in a bin,” the agent at the scanner said and never skipped a beat.

Cell phone in bin (it looked so lonely), then back through scanner.

Once through, I saw another agent go through my duffle bag, pull out a full size can of shaving cream and toothpaste that I just purchased, while I tried to put on my belt and shoes.

“Taking these,” the agent said as he tossed them aside, “too big.” (I have since been ridiculed by friends for taking full size containers – my defense? I never travel).

While this was going on, an agent from the front picked up the bin with my lonely cell phone, and walked away.

“That’s my phone,” I shouted, belt half looped, pants half-down, but the agent continued to walk.

Turns out, he put it through the scanner again.

Why?

Have no idea (again, I never travel).

Eventually myself, my shoes, belt, luggage, and cell phone made it to the gate.

And now we waited.

Why?

Because, Arlene insisted we arrive at the airport three hours early.

While we sat, a man came over to ask if we wanted to take a survey about the new terminal. We politely declined. Later, when I walked to stretch my legs, I saw another survey taker (a woman) talk to a passenger (a man).

Well, not so much talk, she just listened to this man’s rant.

“Newark is the worst fucking airport there is,” the man shouted to the woman who, to her credit, just smiled back at him. He continued, “You know it, everyone knows it, this is the worst fucking airport in the world.”

(Now, tell us how you really feel?)

Finally, our flight was ready, and the doors opened. Unfortunately, we were the last group called to board. As we waited, they announced that there was limited space, and some of our carry-on luggage would be tagged and loaded on the plane.

I had a garment and duffle bag, which they deemed okay to put in the overhead and under my seat. Arlene had a hard-shell luggage on wheels, which they tagged with flight information, but she kept it as we walked down the gangway.

However, that didn’t last long.

Just before we entered the plane, a group of baggage handlers weaved through the crowd, and took every piece of tagged luggage.

Every piece, of course, except Arlene’s.

“No way,” she said, and pulled the luggage away from the handler, “You are not taking this!”

As she shouted, other people in the gangway moved away and gave us some pretty intense looks.

“My ex-wife, everyone,” I tried to defuse the situation because I expected, in next few seconds, that Air Marshals would rappel upon us.

“Always a joy to travel with.”

Eventually, she relinquished the luggage without further incident. We had a connecting flight in Dallas for Oklahoma City. For the entire two flights, Arlene said she knew the bag wouldn’t be there when we landed.

Finally, we settled in our seats. Ironically, there was plenty of room in the over head for Arlene’s bag. It would have saved a great deal of anxiety if we knew that ahead of time.

Even though we didn’t take off for another hour, turned out this first leg of our journey would be the easy part of our journey.

[End of Part One]

[tarotcard0]

I finally beat Persona 5. Final time, including end credits: 123 Hours, and 54 Minutes game time. Let's just round that up to 124 Hours.

I had a good time, but I would like to continue from my previous post and reiterate the complaint that the game is too damn long!

124 Hours. 124 FUCKING hours!? If I never slept it still would have taken me a week! Why did the game need to be this long? And further, I missed a lot of stuff. I only maxed out, like 4 Confidant ranks, and 2 of them just happened as the story did, so I'm not sure if I can count them. I'm given to understand that there's multiple endings and ending variants, but I've been playing for 124 fucking hours!?!? The fact that I can tell I would have gotten more ending per ending by maxing out more Confidants made me a little annoyed because there's stuff that I missed. Including, I'm given to understand, an entire extra dungeon and ending? - Okay, how many final bosses can one game have?

This is going to be a hot take, I'm certain, but I don't think games this long should have multiple endings. If I want to see more of the game's content, including this extra Palace, I'd have to use New Game + to go through the whole thing again. I'm too afraid to skip cutscenes because I might miss something important, and I just don't think I have the energy to go through the whole thing again.

I'd say that if I played the game differently, then maybe I would have gotten to this bonus, Royal Exclusive, Double Extra Really Final Final Battle For Reals This Time(tm), but honestly, after the whole thing with [Spoiler] and [Spoiler], hearing "Oh, by the way, there's one more dungeon" from any character probably would have given me an aneurysm. I just wanted the game to be over at that point, god damn.

On that subject, I'm pretty sure my lack of picking a romance option didn't help either. I'm not sure if it was because almost all of the romancible characters were outside my age group, or if I'm just that bad at playing as boys now, but I just wasn't interested. Being Not Interested In Romance Right Now however didn't seem to be an actual option, and instead the game mostly treated me like a lonely loser, though it thankfully wasn't as harsh as it could have been.

I wish I had gotten more Confidants maxed out, so that I got some of that extra dialogue and whatnot, but there's a hard time limit imposed on the game, trapping it in this bizarre state of "Holy shit why is this game so long" and simultaneously "Holy shit there isn't enough time to do all of this"

Here's hoping that the next Persona has a female protagonist. And is also half the length.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Forever

700 Follower Smoochfest Request #4

A/N: Hey, friends. I am SO sorry for how long it’s been since my last post. I skidded into 2022 with some gnarly writer’s block, but if the last few days are any indication of what’s to come… I think it’s safe to say I’m finally breaking through it. (Thank fuck.) And what better way to kick it back off than by smooching Din Djarin? (Sorry, Din Djarin 😬)

Warnings: Injuries, blood, poison, discussion of death, implied smut, fucking ANGST... it’s a lot, you guys. 

Word Count: 4,256

Requested by: @msfett​ -  a passionate, trembling goodbye kiss in the rain with Din. Please give us ALL the angst and turmoil!! (oh boy... well, you asked for it.) 

Summary: On your way to Mandalore, you and Din decide to pick up one more bounty— and both quickly regret it once you’re faced with a chilling possibility that threatens to erase the future that you had planned.

We never should have taken this bounty.

Tears bit the corners of your eyes as you fought to keep them from falling. You needed to keep your vision clear enough to steer the speeder, and crying wouldn’t help with that. Night was setting in quickly, the sky in a rush to darken, and you were extremely unfamiliar with the territory you were currently racing through. You had never even set foot on this planet until that morning. Had never even heard of it.

Why did we agree to this? Why did… Why did we stop here? We should have…

You sniffed and narrowed your eyes, trying to keep the questions from cutting into your focus. Scrubby little bushes flew by on either side of you, their branches nearly fossilized in the planet’s unforgiving heat. You couldn’t remember exactly how he’d maneuvered the speeder through every tilt and shift, each slight swerve in the trail you tried to follow when he’d done it a few hours earlier, but you knew that it generally ran between the rows of skeletal brush. Swallowing the burn from the tears you refused to allow, you twisted the throttle and leaned forward, aiming for the center of the twiggy runway.

How much farther is it?

You had no idea, your senses of time and distance completely shattered by the urgency of the situation. All you knew was that if you kept the bike between the bushes you’d be fine. Not that they themselves posed any danger. Crashing through them would only break them free from the crusted ground to send them tumbling over it, no damage done to you or your vehicle. But just beyond them, jagged rock formations rose like craggy spikes from the dry clay. A simple sideswipe against one of those would result in your speeder’s engine igniting in a fireball or worse, dragging and skipping along the hard, sharp surface like a stone on water. Shuddering, you gripped the handles more tightly.

Just focus. Just keep it-

A low, weak moan came from the slumped form of the man draped on the seat behind you, and your heart lurched.

Why did we take this damn bounty?

It was foolish. That much was easy to see now. It wasn’t as though you needed to do another job for the money. You’d already cashed in with Karga on Nevarro- seven pucks traded for seven slabs, seven of the highest bounties in the sector paid out to the two of you in varying currencies and credits. It had been five- no, six weeks of hunting; of tracking gangsters and thieves through backwater wastelands and dangerous terrain, of exchanging blaster fire and clashing vibroblades. But now your pockets were full and you had more than enough fuel to get to your next destination. Mandalore.

If you had just gone straight back to the ship, set the course like you had planned and followed it without deviation, you would be landing on the slowly healing homeworld of the formerly scattered Mandalorian people right now. Din would be safe, uninjured and alert in the cockpit beside you. You would be preparing to meet with the Armorer so that you could discuss the arrangements for what would be one of the most important days of your life; the day you swore the Creed and became a Mandalorian.

“It’s called cin vhetin in Mando’a,” Din had explained to you one night as you lay with your cheek pressed to his chest in the dark. The language was still new to your ear and clunky on your tongue, but he had been trying his best to help you learn what you would need to know for your fresh start, your new life. “It means… ” He had already been holding you, one hand cradling the back of your head to ensure that the edge of his helmet didn’t hit you when he tilted his chin down to look at you, but his arms tightened as he continued. “It means that you're choosing to start a new life. But it also means that…” You had one hand resting against the slope of his shoulder where it met his neck, and you felt the muscles of his throat contract beneath your fingers as he swallowed. “It means that if either of us…”

He swore under his breath and even with the modulator in his helmet you heard the thickness in his voice. You knew what he was trying to say and why it was so difficult. Your thumb stroked slowly over his skin, the small action enough to let him know that you understood. If either of us is killed.

He let out a breath. “It means that even in death I’ll be able to find you again.”

It made you shiver. Not because you found his reasoning to be morbid or ominous, but because it implied that until you spoke the words and took the oath, if something were to happen to you, he would lose you. Forever. Your belief on the afterlife was constantly changing with time, different experiences and things that you’d witnessed always shaping and reshaping your idea of what happened to you when your heart stopped beating. But you knew that Din’s belief- the belief held by all Mandalorians- was that warriors who fell were never truly gone, that they were simply marching off to battle far away and that one day, when one’s own life came to and end, they could join their brethren on that distant plane, could stay with them for eternity. Of all the theories and interpretations of life after death that you’d heard of or read about, to you it was the most beautiful, the most whole and hopeful. But still you shivered, because you knew it meant that if something were to befall either of you before you had the chance to take the Creed, he believed that he would be damned to face eternity without you.

“That won’t be for a very long time,” you’d assured him before laying your lips to one of the soft pinkish strips of raised, scarred skin on his chest. He loosened his arms only enough for you to push yourself up on one elbow, small kisses trailing towards the juncture of his shoulder where your palm had just been, and then you lifted your head to stare down at the smoked visor that kept his eyes from yours. Even in the darkness of the small room the beskar caught a glint of light, a reflection, and you longed for a time that would come much sooner than the one that he feared. “Right now I’d rather think about the day that I finally get to see you, Din Djarin.”

You brought one hand up to rest along the curve of his helmet, careful as you always were when you touched him not to make it seem as though your intent was to lift it. He had told you once that some of the women he’d been with in the past- and even one that he’d never been intimate with, had never even shown interest in- had tried to play coy, flirtatiously fitting their fingertips under the lip or reaching with both hands to try to remove it. You knew that to many across the galaxy, being able to claim that a Mandalorian had forsaken their vows to show you their face equated to some kind of bragging right. That thought disgusted you, made you sorry that he’d had to deal with such unaccepting, selfish and single-minded people. But it also made you certain that you would never become one of them. Instead of indicating that you wanted to remove his helmet, reveal his face, you lowered your forehead to his, the steel cool where you touched it. “The day that I finally get to say that I know you.”

You weren’t sure what you expected him to say to that, but you surely weren’t expecting a question. After a long pause which made you wonder if you hadn’t said the wrong thing, your heartbeat loud in your own head, he spoke your name. “Will you do something for me?” He had moved one hand up to your right arm, fingers tracing an unknown shape over your bicep before curling over the top of your shoulder. “Please?”

It wasn’t a word he used often, but even if he hadn’t your answer would have been the same, would have come as quickly. “Anything.” You shook your head, a breath slipping out at the way he pushed his thumb into your skin as though he were trying to stamp his thumbprint there. “I thought you knew by now. I’ll do anything you ask me to.”

He nodded, the slit of his visor trained on the place where he touched your arm. “I want you to wear a piece of my armor.” You felt your eyes go wide, but he didn’t hesitate to explain. “It’s… symbolic. It shows that I intend to marry you. But it also…” He sighed and let his hand slide to the side of your neck. “It means I’ll always protect you.”

“Din.” Your voice was barely audible, but you knew he heard it, his head turning so that you were once again staring into the dark screen that kept his eyes from yours. “If that’s what you want, then-”

“It is.” It was the same sure tone he’d used when he first told you that he loved you. “You’ll have your own soon, but until then I-”

“Yes.” It was your turn to cut him off, leaning down to place a kiss to the center of his chest.

He had spent the rest of the night proving to you how happy he was to hear your answer, how ready he was to pledge his life to yours, how sure he was that you were the one he’d always been meant to find. In the morning when you woke, he had already left the bed, presumably in the cockpit to begin the trip to Nevarro to meet with Karga. Stretching your limbs, a smile spread across your lips as you let yourself soak in the memory of the night before- the weight of his hands still present on your body, the warmth of him still enveloping you. Heat rose to your cheeks as you noted the way you still felt him between your legs, still had him on your tongue. But you didn’t get to revel in it for long, because as you blinked to adjust your eyes to the light, you noticed the single piece of beskar that he had left on the bedside table- the piece he had left for you.

Though your first instinct was to be shocked that he had been so intentional in his choice, you knew that you shouldn’t be. Over the course of your time with him you had learned that everything Din did, from cleaning his weapons to selecting which piece of armor to let you wear, was done with purpose and thought. He was quiet, but his mind wasn’t. His heart wasn’t. Instead of carrying it up to the cockpit, asking if he was sure, you stood slowly from the bed and crossed the small space to pick up the pauldron. Running your fingers over the raised lines of the Mudhorn signet, you recalled what he’d said when you had accepted his proposal. “Aliit ehn.”

Clan of three.

Another agonized groan from behind you snapped your thoughts back to the present. Din! Straining your eyes against the curtain of nightfall, you quickly assessed the stretch of cracked and dusted dirt ahead of you before chancing a glance at him over your armored shoulder. Even in the dark you could see the torn fabric of his flight suit, the slashes in it soaked with blood and the unnatural looking green venom from the creature that had clawed at him. Hold on, Din… You pleaded with him as he mumbled something in Mando’a that you didn’t understand. Please, hold on.

Tearing your eyes away from him, you returned your focus to the landscape that you were racing over. As soon as you did, you were rewarded with the small relief of the ship’s outline in the near distance. Almost there. You let those two words replace the question of why you’d agreed to take the final bounty. Almost there.

“It’s just a proof of term,” Karga had said, hoping to sweeten the sound of the job. “No need to come back, a holo of the cretin’s head will do and I’ll transfer the credits remotely.”

Almost there.

“One more job before you two get hitched and disappear on me and I have to resort to hiring Niktos.”

Almost there.

“My best guild bounty hunter,” he had nodded at Din. “And the best that the great Boba Fett could spare from his team?” A nod at you. “What could possibly go wrong?”

Almost there.

You waited until you were as close as possible before jamming the button on the speeder’s console that lowered the ramp on the ship, and without stopping, drove the bike straight up and into the cargo hold. You were strong and could carry more than your own weight, but you didn’t want to waste time that he might not have with struggling to move him or risk hurting him more. You eased him down off of the seat, looping your arm under his left one and leaning him against one of the crates that lined the wall of the hold. Shutting the ramp to ensure that no more of the poisonous reptilians that had slashed him while you recorded the proof of termination that Karga had requested could follow you inside, you tried to ignore the painful sounds that Din was making. He had lost consciousness almost immediately after you had helped him onto the speeder, but he hadn’t fallen silent completely, tortured moans and sounds that were too reminiscent of whimpers to ever come from the man that you knew telling you that he was suffering, in pain, and you knew you had to do something.

But I don’t know what that was, the thing that… You wracked your brain trying to recall all of the various creatures you’d encountered in your travels, but the thing that drew its claws across the one place where Din wasn’t covered in impenetrable protection was entirely new to you, and since you didn’t know what type of poison it had infected him with, you didn’t know how to treat the wound. Bacta spray, obviously, but… Pulling the med kit down from where it was strapped to the wall next to the weapons locker, you flung it open and pulled out two injection cylinders- one for non lethal poisons, the other for deadly ones. I don’t know which of these to use. All you knew was that if you used the wrong one, he could die.

“It means that even in death I’ll be able to find you again.”

You let out a sob as you heard the fear behind his voice in your memory, and suddenly the words you’d heard him mumbling on the back of the speeder in Mando’a registered in your brain.

“Ge’sol ner kar’ta.” Half of my heart.

You wouldn’t let him go. You couldn’t. In a desperate, last ditch effort to seek help, you pulled your comm disc from your pocket and entered the code that would connect you straight to the one person you hoped could give it to you- your old boss. “Boba,” you didn’t wait for him to respond, turning the comm so that the man on the other side of it could see Din where you had him propped up against the crate, could see the angry torn flesh of his shoulder, and the open med kit beside him on the ground. “I need your help. I don’t know what to do. Please. Please, I-”

“Easy,” the man’s gruff voice filled your ears and somehow calmed you like it always seemed to. “Easy, now, firebrand.” He chuckled and you had to wonder what in the galaxy could be funny at that moment, but before you could get another word out, he went on. “Use the yellow one.”

The yellow one. You picked up the injection cylinder that was used to neutralize non lethal poisons and immediately felt some of the anxiety leave your body as you popped the cap off of it and readied the needle before sticking it directly through the shredded remains of his flight suit and straight into the wound on his shoulder. As soon as you depressed the plunger to inject the antidote, you noticed that his body relaxed slightly, his breathing slowing into a more even pace. Oh thank the gods.

“That do it, firebrand?” You didn’t mind the use of your nickname, because for all you were concerned, Boba Fett had just saved the life of the only man you had ever loved, and all you could manage was a tearful nod. “Good.” The man you were speaking to was a crime lord, head of his own organization, feared and respected or else hated and targeted by all who knew his name. But he treated you to a smile that you knew hardly anyone ever saw. “It was a Gorakian Lizard that did this to him,” he went on, knowing that you would only ask if he didn’t supply you with the information. “Their venom can cause fevers, loss of consciousness… hallucinations. With the antidote, it takes a few hours to wear off. Without it,” he shrugged, “well without it, usually the Lizard’s victims get eaten but-” He cleared his throat. “But you did the right thing. Now all there is to do is make him comfortable and wait for him to tell you what his mind made him see.”

– – – –

He spoke your name, and then one word. “Gedet'ye.”

Please. Don’t… don’t do this.

The rain was relentless, coming down in sheets, in blades, drenching the ground and soaking through his gloves, his cape, his cowl, covering him in a cold that chilled his bones. He couldn’t move though, couldn’t stand, couldn’t tear himself from the place in the mud where he held you. One gloved palm was pressed to the large wound in the center of your chest, trying desperately to feel your heart beating beneath it as blood pooled between his fingers. Droplets fell on your face, catching in your lashes, but your eyes remained closed. He brought his other hand up to your cheek, pressed it there in hopes that they would open. But they didn’t.

“No.” The cold that had cut to the bone started to seep into his heart, cracking into it like icy spears. He tried your name again, but it had the same result. “No… ge’sol ner kar’ta…”

You can’t leave me. You carry half of my heart.

Lifting the hand that he had been using to try to stop the blood flow, he brought his fingertips up to the one piece of armor that you wore. He traced the outline of the Mudhorn, leaving red streaks on the beskar that the rain quickly washed away. He had tried to protect you, but it hadn’t been enough.

Why did we take this bounty?

If he hadn’t agreed, the two of you would be on Mandalore now. You would be preparing to make your vows and swear yourself to The Way, and after that, to him. You would be receiving your own armor, your own helmet, and then you would be receiving his name as your own- receiving him as your own. If he hadn’t let Karga talk him into more time alone with you before heading into your future together, you would still have a future together. But now… Now you were gone.

Pain like he’d never experienced ripped through him as he realized what that meant. Gone. Not marching far away. Gone, not waiting for him on another plane or another battlefield or anywhere. You were not a Mandalorian, and he would never be able to find you again. Overcome with the agony that came with those truths, he let out a sound that was part sob, part howling moan. It was the sound of his heart cleaving itself in two to leave you behind.

We should never have taken his job.

Lowering his head down to yours, he gently rested the curve of his helmet against your motionless forehead, but in that moment the gesture wasn’t enough. Nothing would be, he knew that. Nothing would be enough to heal him after losing you. Nothing would ease the ache of your absence. But in that moment, Din needed more, needed to give you more.

With one hand, he reached for the lower edge of his helmet and released the lock. Gripping it tightly, he pulled it off and let the downpour soak his hair, his face, the patchy beard growing over his jawline. He set the helmet down and returned his hands to you, both of them shaking as he took your face between them. Pressing his forehead to yours once more, this time skin on rain slicked skin, and in a trembling voice he spoke your name one more time.

“Kar'taylir darasuum.” Forever… and never again.

Before another sob tore itself free of his lungs, Din brought his lips to yours for the first time and kissed you. If there was a Mando’a word for goodbye, he would have said it. But Mandalorians didn’t say goodbye when their loved ones died, because they knew that they were only being separated for a time, that they would be reunited once more in the next life. But since you were not a Mandalorian, he simply said the word in Basic, leaving it on your lips with the only kiss he’d ever give you.

– – – –

You’d drifted off to sleep by the time he started to move beside you, your head resting on his uninjured shoulder. Once Boba had assured you that you wouldn’t hurt him by doing so, you’d nestled yourself as close to his side as you could. The small motion of his chest as his breathing shifted from the sleeping world to the waking one was enough to jolt you into action. “Din?”

Blinking rapidly, you inhaled sharply through your nose and whipped your head around to look at him. He was still wearing his helmet of course, but you felt tears of absolute elation when he lifted his chin and met your eyes with the dark visor that covered his own. Raising one hand, he brought it up to your face, laying his palm on your cheek, and you immediately brought yours up to cover it. Oh, Din… you’re alright. 

“Ner kar’ta.” His voice was ragged and sounded tired, but if what Boba had told you about the psychotropic nature of the venom that he’d been infected with was true, he’d need more time to fully recover from whatever it was that he dreamed of. 

You shook your head and smiled as more tears fell, this time no need to try to hold them back. “I thought you left me, Din Djarin,” you told him, nodding down to the bandages that you’d applied to his shoulder after administering the antidote. “That was-”

“I thought you left me, too.” His fingers curled against your cheekbone and you felt his thumb stroke over your skin. “I… saw you-” He drew in a breath that made his chest shudder, and you moved closer to his side, one arm wrapping gently around his waist as he let his hand fall away from your face so that you could settle against him. “You were….” He swore and you felt his helmet rest against your temple. “You were gone. You were in my arms but you… you were-”

No. That didn’t happen.

“I’m right here, Din,” you assured him. There would be time later for him to get into the harrowing details of his fever dreams. But for now you wanted him to know that you were safe, and that so was he, and that nothing would come between you. “I’m right here, and I’m going to be right here,” you tightened your hold on his midsection, and even though he was still covered in beskar, you brought your lips to the elongated diamond of the iron heart at the center of his chest. “Forever.”

You sighed as he brought his arm to drape heavily around your shoulder, palm curling around your arm to pull you even closer to his side. “Are we-” he paused, looked down at the floor of the ship. “Are we moving?”

You’d never flown his ship before, never touched the controls without him telling you what to do and what not to mess with. But I needed to get us out of there. Pulling back to look at him more clearly, you nodded. “I… I set the course for Mandalore. I did everything the same way I’ve seen you do it. I just…I needed to-”

“Thank you.” He pulled you closer again, and you gladly folded back against him. “We should have done that days ago.” Yeah, we should have. But he didn’t linger on that thought for long, letting out another breath as he brought his fingers up to the pauldron you still wore, trailing them over the signet that would soon be yours. “Let’s go home.”

.

.

.

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[damiano-mylove]

Movie Night

Pairing: Damiano David x fem!reader

Wc: 2.6k (sorry)

Cw(s): SMUT, bit of angst, swearing ofc, long for some reason, begging, not proof read

*Masterlist*

Work is a healthy habit to get into - to a certain extent. If you work to avoid your problems, that's not particularly one of the most healthy things to do. The only problem working can fix is if you're poor, but really minimum wage doesn't fix that either.

But your Damiano wasn't poor, he wasn't being paid minimum wage. You knew how much he loved working on music with his friends, but he was barely home and you missed him. Being without Damiano almost felt like being without your left arm - especially since it had been so abrupt, going from him spending a few hours writing, to spending almost a full day in the studio.

Tonight was supposed to be movie night. That Damiano had suggested. To make up for lost time.

So, you found yourself, alone, on your velvet red couch, watching Alice in Wonderland, with your cat on your lap. His purrs filled whatever wavelengths were left empty by the film, but you didn't mind that at all. Your fingers found their way into his incredibly soft fur, which felt like silk between those fingers of yours.

The clock soon struck midnight, and the film hit the end credits soon after. Damiano was still not home from the studio, which almost worried you. Almost. In the earlier days of him spending all of his time at Vic's for writing or in the studio, you had thought he'd run off with someone else. You woke up the next morning with him next to you, but that never really put that specific worry to rest.

"Romeo, Baby," you whispered to the silver tabby cat on your lap. He flicked his tail to let you know he heard you. "Dad's not home yet and I'm tired, we gotta go to bed. C'mon." Romeo only lifted his head to lay his grass green eyes on you once you stopped scratching his neck. You smiled to him, though his eyes didn't return it. "You've got half a minute before I move your furry tush."

To no one's surprise, Romeo took more than half a minute so you picked him up like a baby over your shoulder. Your palm cradled his soft feet. Like the lazy cat he was, Romeo fell back asleep on your shoulder on your short walk to your bedroom that you shared with the one and only, Damiano. He used to be a god to you, but now he was basically a roommate who you shared a kiss with every once in a while.

With Romeo asleep on the bed before you finished putting on pyjamas, you slunk off to brush your teeth. The door unlocked. Your heavy eyes cast unto the clock on the wall which read nearly half midnight.

Damiano came in like a whisper in the wind, save for the closet opening so he could deposit his coat. Shaking you head, you just finished brushing your teeth. Your mouth felt dry even though you'd just rinsed it with water.

"Cara mia," Damiano purred once his eyes caught your figure in the lamp light from the bedroom. You smiled at him and went into the bedroom to curl up with your cat and go to sleep. You had work in the morning and customers didn't appreciate workers who look like sleep-deprived zombies.

This was the first time in a long time that you didn't immediately greet him once he came through the door. So Damiano could sense a shift in the mood of the flat; really, he felt it as soon as he walked in and smelt chocolate and strong tea.

His footsteps never gave away where he was, but you could feel his presence enter the room. The bed dipped on the end just as Romeo curled further into you. When Damiano's hand held your ankle, Romeo let out a soft meow.

"What's wrong, Amore?"

"Did you forget or did you do it on purpose?" You immediately sat up as you asked the question. You were tired and to act like it was fine just wasn't in the cards tonight. Damiano's eyebrows drew together. You began to nod. "Movie night? You said you'd come home early to watch a film with us."

Damiano's face darkened in realization. You pursed your lip balm coated lips. Even Romeo could sense the tension and decided to stand up and sit square on your thighs, facing your boyfriend as if to protect you. Damiano looked to his hands which rested in his lap.

After a second, he said, "I-I thought that was tomorrow."

"Tonight was Tuesday night, now it's Wednesday morning," you muttered. Your fingers found the reassuring warmth of Romeo's fur once again and Romeo let out a rather sad sounding meow. "Oh, Romeo, don't worry. Dad just has to tell us he's sorry then we can sleep."

Both you and your cat looked to your boyfriend with tired but expectant eyes. Damiano's eyes never tore from his hands. Then it was like he was speaking to himself. "I was going to buy you flowers. And let you pick the film. And you were supposed to fall asleep on my shoulder, on the couch."

"It's okay, Dami, it's just a movie night," you told him. But your conscience caught you before you continued. Why the fuck were you reassuring him when he was the one who fucked up? Tell you that he'll be home in time for a sort of date night, then skip out. "We'll do it another night, it's all good."

"It's not all good, Y/n." One thing you could agree on tonight, though you'd never say that out loud. Finally, Damiano lifted his eyes from his soft hands. You noticed his eyes shimmer in the lamplight. "I really fucked up your night and for no good reason. I'm really sorry."

Leaning forward, you patted his arm. "Forgiven. We're adults and life gets in the way of romance."

"Not always, and not for us. I'm supposed to be the best boyfriend in the world but I've barely been a boyfriend to you at all lately, and I apologize." His words were stringing together faster in faster as he kept trying to keep his tears at bay. "It's just with the new album and everything, I'm finding out how shitty I am at balancing my life." Damiano came closer to you, holding your hand that once held his arm. "How can I make it up to you, Y/n? You're the love of my life and I don't want us to fizzle out."

For some reason, a little chuckle escaped your lips. His passion for you warmed your heart as you caught a glimpse of how you first had your heart captured by the man sitting before you. The light glittered in your eyes, for Damiano and Damiano alone. "We're not going to fizzle out over one missed movie night."

"Yes, but I've missed many of our nights, whether we made plans for them or not," Damiano rebutted. Your lips pressed together in a flat line. There was a certain ounce of truth to that statement. Damiano pressed a kiss to the back of your hand without maintaining eye contact. "Cara mia, nights are for the lovers, and I seem to have forgotten that."

His warm breath tickled the back of your hand just before his pressed more kisses to the back of your hand, then wrist, then fingers.

Sensing the warming room, Romeo left your lap. He threw you a final glance, seeming like he was making sure you didn't need him in the room to which you slightly nodded at the tabby. Romeo turned on his paws and left the room - leaving two starry-eyed partners who were still most ardently in love.

Without another word, you joined your lips with Damiano's. It had been a long while since a kiss such as this one had occurred. In the place of the usual passing kisses, this one made the love shared prominent. This kiss felt as if your Damiano was once again yours and totally yours; not as if he ever wasn't, but this was a much needed reminder of that.

Holding your face in his large hands, Damiano deepened the kiss by turning his head ever-so slightly. His tongue slid into your mouth with a passionate fervour. There was no battle for dominance, but a mutual exploration of each other's mouths.

Damiano tenderly laid you down against the pillows on your side of the bed, though his lips parted from yours which was an unhappy fate. "Do you want to go further, Cara mia? I know this doesn't equal forgiveness."

"I've never wanted anything more, Dami, my sweetest love," you promised him. Damiano smiled at your admission. He began to place gentle, loving kisses to your neck. "Only if you want to."

"Oh, trust me." Damiano nipped your collarbone, resulting in a yelp from you. You could feel his smirk against your warming skin. "I want to."

Damiano's bites roamed the skin of your chest that your tank top allowed, before you sat up to take it off. Your fingers found Damiano's soft hair as he left sloppy, wet kissed all over your now exposed chest. A bitten back moan escaped your mouth just as his tongue began to circle the tender skin of your nipple, making your back arch into the man above you.

This was an admission of your pleasure, so Damiano's mouth fully encircled your nipple as his hand that once caressed your hip, now cupped your other breast. His warm palm massaged you firmly, having Damiano's name fall from your lips. It had been a while since he'd touched you like this, with such care and attention. Every fiber of Damiano's being was now focused on making his love for you known.

When his warm mouth left your breast to be exposed to the chill of the room, his teeth grazed your sensitive nipple, having goosebumps multiply on your skin at a sky high rate. His mouth then was turned to your other breast as his other hand twisted and pinched the exposed nipple.

Your hands began trying to get his deep red shirt off, to bring his warmth to you. But before Damiano would let you have what you wanted most, he bit the sweet spot beneath your boob, no doubt leaving a mark that would be apparent the next day.

As Damiano leaned up to pull his shirt over his head, you nearly melted underneath him. His hair was already beginning to become delightfully fucked up and the look in his eye was absolutely dark. The look he gave you before joining your lips once again was full of love, accompanied by lust and desire. Damiano slid off his tight leather trousers while he was at it, allowing you to palm him through his briefs.

The kiss shared was now hungry and feverish. The nails of the unoccupied hand scratched down his back, resulting Damiano bucking his hips into your hand. You removed it, which finally gave you the glorious friction that you so completely craved. Damiano no doubt sensed this as he grabbed the back of your thigh as he continued to grind right into the thin layer that separated you both.

"Damiano, please," you nearly cried. The chuckle that came from Damiano was low and only made your panties become even more wet.

"Please what?"

"You know what I mean." He was killing you. Once the words left your lips, Damiano ground his hips into you again. "Fuck me. Fuck me, please. Please."

"See, was that so hard, Amore?" Damiano purred as he lowered the waistband of your pyjama bottoms. He threw them somewhere in the room before pressing his index finger against your clit. You tried to pull him in for a kiss, but Damiano resisted. "Ah, ah, I want to see just how much I effect you."

"You're the fucking-wow-devil himself."

Damiano's laugh bordered upon an evil one. "You love me."

"I love you, I love you so fucking much," you moaned. Damiano smiled as he lowered your grey panties. Those were discarded somewhere along with your pyjama bottoms, but you couldn't give half a fuck because Damiano's perfectly manicured finger found it's way inside of you. You bucked against his hand, making Damiano laugh.

His finger drew circles inside of you while his thumb still played with your clit. God, Damiano was so much better than your own fingers. Without a warning, another finger was added, making a sort of porn-esque moan leave you. Damiano groaned at the sound as well as the sight in front of him. Even his dreams of you weren't as good as this.

It wasn't as if he could help himself from leaning down once again and attaching his mouth to your erect nipple. Your eyes crossed at three parts of your body were on fire with immense pleasure. The flames of rapture enveloped most of your body, even your soul.

"I'm-m-m gonna cum," you cried out. Damiano smiled against your breast as his fingers began going faster. "No, no, let me cum on your cock." Damiano looked up at you with a bit of surprise. You'd never said something like that without prompt.

The needy look that painted your face was all Damiano had to see before he complied. His briefs were off in the blink of an eye and he began to pump himself just to prepare. Your legs were spread wide as you could already feel yourself drip onto the sheets below which made Damiano groan with barred teeth.

He lined himself up with your entrance and gave you one final questioning look. You nodded adamantly before he pushed himself through your folds.

Truly, you could feel your soul ascend as you remembered just how big he was. You big your lip so hard you nearly broke skin while Damiano hissed an intake of breath. He came down to your lips to taste your minty mouth just as his hips began rocking into you, first at a slow pace, then began to get closer.

Damiano's hips snapped into yours quickly, and the sound of smacking skin filled the room, along with the scent of sex and sweat. The combination of both of your moans filled each other's mouths. The bedroom was incredibly hot but somehow you were in a cold sweat, save for where your body joined with Damiano's in sweet harmony.

"Fuck, Y/n, you're so fucking tight," Damiano huffed. You clenched around his cock, only making Damiano cry out with pleasure. Your nails drew down his back, clinging him closer and closer to you with every thrust against your g-spot. Tears brimmed your eyes as a knot formed in the lower part of your stomach.

"Soon, I'm cumming soon."

"Cum on my cock, Baby, just like you want."

You could tell his thrusts were getting sloppy because he was closing in on his release as well. But you couldn't help but cum first as the knot suddenly exploded within you.

Your walls spasmed against Damiano as your release washed over you. Your legs tingled and your toes went a bit numb. Damiano then hit in you a few more times before his own seed seeped into you. It was warm and you felt incredibly full as Damiano stayed within you for an extra few seconds, before falling next to you.

"I know you said this wouldn't equal forgiveness but I'm feeling very forgiving," you sighed. Damiano chuckled and looked over at you. Your skin glowed in orgasmic radiance and your hair was completely fucked out. Damiano's heart swelled at the sight and he couldn't help but kiss you again.

He cleaned you both up after, with a warm wash cloth, and got you new pyjamas. Romeo reentered the room once the sex smell was gone and you were in Damiano's arms once again. Your cat curled between both of you in the dead of night, like the beginnings of a family.

Damiano came home Wednesday afternoon with a massive bouquet that must have cost a pretty pence, a box of Belgian chocolate and a bag of cat treats. It seemed a movie night was in order.

[reynie-muldoons]

'A Perilous Journey' liveblog!!!!

GOOD MORNINGGGG its season two timeee!!!

I decided I'm watching episode 1 now, and episode 2 in a few hours. My shift starts weirdly late in the day so it works out.

As always, spoilers below the cut!!

Before I even get started I love how this episode is called a perilous journey. It's not quite the book title but damn near close 😂

0:10 ITS A RECAP BAYBEEE

1:27 dad!Milligan will never not make me cry

1:29 AND MOM!MISS PERUMAL RIGHT AFTER

2:12 HERE WE GOOOOOO

2:19 BLEASE tell me Kate is training rats

2:23 just kidding its Sticky

2:36 STOP MADGE STOLE THE RAT LMAOOO

2:41 oh. She left a letter. That's not conspicuous at all 😂

2:59 Mystic is so tall now 🥺

3:13 WETHERALL FARM??????

3:17 I SEE A BARN THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Also that was fucking creative Kate but how strong is that boomerang to knock multiple full-grown apples off of the tree

3:24 MILLIGAAAANNNNNN

3:34 MADGE NAME DROP!!! I have a confession to make related to Madge that I think is the funniest fucking thing ever. Remind me to tell y'all at some point

3:46 omfg are we about to watch the kidnapping??? how telling is it that I thought of Gert immediately LMAOOOO

3:55 they look adorable. Matching umbrellas, cute long coats... icons

3:58 THEYRE FAMILY BITCHES

4:06 is that supposed to be a time magazine dupe

4:06 I also think its hilarious that Curtain's original plan was to take credit for solving the emergency by just. mass brainwashing. good plan there bud, very sustainable

4:06 but like isnt he wanted now??? Isnt that a thing? In the books the government was actively looking for him so tf is this

4:14 THE OPENING IS BAAAACK

4:14 "skip opening" how insulting. No

4:42 THE SHORTCUT!!!!!

4:50 who decided to make Constance's screen an arctic clown ship 😂😂

5:12 here's that unhinged interview from the trailer. I didnt think it would come this quickly

5:28 Constance just fucking staring at the TV as if she can intimidate him into stopping LMAO

5:39 WHAT??? So in S1 when he said he'd "share the spotlight" THIS is what he meant?? What a curveball. He's going to regret countering her

5:50 fucking god complex strikes again

6:01 he looks like he's wearing a straight jacket on that back cover. Probably appropriate considering he's uhhhh Like That

6:20 god I hate him. Stop being manipulative challenge (impossible)

6:26 YES ABSOLUTELY sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, all of the shit makes happiness stand out. Without the struggle our lives would be shaded of grey because happiness wouldnt be distinguishable

6:43 why does this sound like homeopathic medicine

7:03 is this like a weird TV hypnosis thing. Is he doing the fake happiness thing on her without her consent

7:09 ohhhh I did NOT like the shift from looking at her to looking at the camera. Creepy

7:15 RHONDA YOU SHOULDVE LET HER DO IT

7:15 Rhonda as usually you look fucking fire

7:26 Dutch baby?? First of all, presentation is 10/10. Second of all it makes me very sad that they're the only two in the house because Mr. B and Number Two are already gone.

7:38 why the fuck did she answer in French 😂😂

7:44 THEYRE SISTERS YOUR HONOR

8:03 HAHHA THIS IS THE LOG-CUTTING THING??? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

8:13 that scream sounded like a fucking bird of prey HAHA

8:29 literally describing how it feels to travel with parents over a long period. I swear they are literally a fucking family

8:36 "just as much for him as it is the kids" oh absolutely it is, he's a mess when it comes to Nathaniel

9:01 DOES HE JUST GO TO SYMPOSIUMS AND GET UP AND SPEAK 😂😂😂 what the fuck guy

9:24 "who's mocking me?" "Doesnt matter." They're banter is UNCHALLENGED. also his face is fucking funny HOLD UP

9:24 GRUMPY MAN IS GRUMPY

9:37 calling Nathaniel "some guru with all this influence" REALLY makes him sound like he tries on makeup products and does skincare routines on youtube 😂

9:41 "we seem pretty safe" oh babygirl if that's not the nail in the coffin

10:05 they really nailed the "local man does something weird" vibes in this scene

10:17 dont tell me it already happened. Oh no

10:27 OH SHIT THERE IT IS

10:39 oh my gosh he's such a DADDD.

10:45 "a tiny go bag or gorp". I love him so much

10:54 HE WITTLED IT FOR THE BUCKET STOOOOP

11:03 AND THE DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

11:10 "it's my job to take care of you also. Additionally." He understands she's been on her own up until this point and acknowledges that she can handle herself, but also that she's a kid who needs help just like anyone else. CRYING.

11:15 she didn't even put it in the bucket, just her pocket 😂😂 she's so reluctant to accept

11:25 MILLIGAN PLEASE GET A BUCKET HAHAHA

11:30 okay that truck is incredible LOL

11:40 .....why would you do that to a grapefruit. What did the grapefruit do to you huh

12:08 HERE'S THE LETTERS ANGST. REYNIE WROTE THEM SO MANY LETTERS

12:16 can I just say Miss Perumal is the queen of pastels

12:43 the reality of long-distance friends. My best friends from high school and college live SO far away and it's like this sometimes

12:50 acknowledging his feelings, giving him comfort, AND indulging him?? If the adoption papers arent signed already they really should be

12:57 HAHA IS SHE PRACTICING TO SEE THEM??? LMAO KID

13:19 stooooppp she's so cute

13:26 LMAO EVERYONE GOT THERE AT THE SAME TIME

13:44 Reynie and Sticky had the sense to bring a suitcase, Kate

13:51 she's not wrong, they are taller 😂

13:58 THAT LOOK BETWEEN CONNIE AND KATE LMAOOOO

14:01 this is a funny moment and all but Reynie desperately looking for affirmation anywhere he can find it makes me so sad for him

14:07 THE HIGH FIVES!!!! Cue everyone wincing

14:15 HAHA HAVE THEY JUST NOT TALKED ABOUT THE WHISPERER SINCE THEN

14:27 ohhhh Milligan looks nice

14:38 STOP THEYRE SO FUNNY

14:45 it looks like a minecraft golem, or the pokemon golett 😂

15:01 oh lord the news broke, that has to be it

15:15 dun dun DUNNNN

15:34 it's so cool that they planned check-ins like that. How smart

16:15 okay both of them switching between languages was fucking sick

16:18 and here it is, the kids have been told no, so they will find their own way

16:41 oh shit, they have a short timeframe then

16:47 I cant tell if this is manipulative or Constance not being able to contain herself. Like I doubt she would do this in front of the others but she's already shown she trusts everyone more than she lets on, soooo

17:09 is this Constance's room??

17:16 HAHA I KNEW IT she DID hug Rhonda to get something out of it

17:31 he sounded so offended 😂😂😂

18:09 she kills me. The line delivery is just on point

18:59 is this from the book? It's a dictionary, right?

19:14 HAHA he just fucking LEAVES

19:22 OH SHIT HELLO????

19:43 RAGE GIRL, RAGE

19:46 HAHAHAHA HER FACE WHEN THE SNACKS POP OUT

19:46 IM CRYING HER EYES BUGGED OUT SO MUCH

20:13 "many sociopaths are unfailingly polite" that describes Nathaniel so fucking well

20:25 casual destruction of property

20:25 HOLD ON LMAOO how much did they have to pull on that thing for it to come out of the door at such a small tug???? Oh no I'm sad

20:33 AYYYY there it is, it's a dictionary

20:52 "last...time I checked" oh buddy hahahahah

21:14 "there is no system" the system is the organized chaos that every person with ADHD understands- it's a mess but a very specific mess

21:19 awwwww. He's trying to reach across 🥺

21:29 VERY SMOOTH REYNIE

22:00 okay the nothingness club sounds like a cult

22:13 awwww there it issss. The dam is breaking

22:30 AND NOW ITS THE SAME WITH THE GIRLS. I love that they're ramping up the similarities between Reynie and Constance

22:45 awwww loneliness. They're so sad

22:59 "not dad. Roommate" okay girl you tell yourself that

23:14 THE BOOK CHAIR. THATS INCREDIBLE

23:23 "You LIKE me." LMAO KATE CALL HER OUT

23:40 needy dad is needy

23:54 hagagaga why does he keep looking at Constance like that

24:35 good job Kate!!!!

24:46 YES THEY GOT THE JOURNAL FUCK YEAH

25:16 TAKE THE SHORTCUT BABY

25:47 "does anyone feel like they've entered a trance" Constance 😂😂😂😂

26:12 "I feel uncleen" HAHAHAH

26:25 THERE IT ISSSS TAKE THE SHORTCUT BAYBEEEE

26:42 MARITIME MONTHLY LMAOOOO

27:15 yeah Kate, everybody knows that. Gosh.

27:44 YES Reynie get the group's consent before doing something stupid

28:02 she's writing a fucking newsletter apparently

28:10 very subtle guys

28:19 okay the fact that Kate is left makes me think Milligan is going to come

28:24 okay, just kidding. Also I love the shoes

28:27 ayyy public transit

28:34 OKAY WHO TF WAS THAT

28:48 wow they didnt get any kind of head start, Rhonda's going to see they're gone immediately

28:58 SHIT SHE SCREAMED FOR HIM

28:58 KATE LEFT HIM A NOOOOOTE 😭😭😭

29:11 MISS PERUMAL NOOOO

29:12 ayyyyyy it's the Shortcut!!!

29:37 oh shit the adults have the tickets??? So what I'm hearing is the kids are sneaking on and the adults are using tickets

30:14 oh shit Sticky 😂 or should I say "oh ship"

30:20 HAHHAHA KATE "ha. stern" CRYING

30:34 PETTY CRIME BAYBYYYYY

30:42 NOOOOO its Boston tea party but without the tea

30:56 oh God why is he like that

31:03 he looks like he's about to star in a 80's dance video

31:07 NOOO HE ACTUALLY STARTED DANCING

31:15 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

31:18 PLEASE STOP HAHAHAHA

31:27 please dear god let SQ walk in on this

31:30 not SQ but someone else

31:46 what the fuck just happened

31:49 ITS GOLF CART TIME BITCHES

32:16 I'm so glad he looks that stupid in his little cart thing. I cant wait to make fun of him

32:32 who are you calling "Associate" bitch

32:46 CULT

32:52 "elated" OH GOD OH NO OH FUCK

32:59 Milligan holding his hat like that is just too fucking endearing.

33:06 so are their tickets just. Null and void now 😂

33:12 did they really just ditch their shit 😂😂😂😂😂 the bags are just there in the open

33:18 parents. PARENTS. Also this kind of is like Reynie although Miss Perumal has never seen him in an active life and death situation like this

33:23 Rhonda is once again the voice of reason

33:27 "they believed us" AWWWWWW

33:45 shit is it already over??? Damn those are some long credits then

Wow, that was really good. The kids met back up, they had an awkward start but fell into that familiarity almost immediately. The parents were very parental. Although in hindsight, Sticky's were pretty much absent. What the fuck's up with that??

And the biggest tragedy is that there was no "roll credits" moment. They didn't namedrop the episode title 🙃 please bring that back in the test of the season I loved that so much

This took a lot longer to do than I thought, so I'm waiting to watch episode 2 until later tonight. I cant wait to talk about it with y'all!!!

[oneoftheprettynerds]

Fixed: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 4 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 3: Love So Soft

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s shorter than my usual updates but I’m busy so sorry for the delay. My final exam dates have come and all I can do is pray right now lol. Please pray for me if you can, this sis is out here writing fanfics for yall instead of studying so, haha. ANyways, enjoy babies! Shit happens in this chapter.

Warning: Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Word count: 5K

Chapter 4: Fixed

You didn’t sleep that night. Or the next few. Your hands shook every time you got a flashback and even though you were numb to emotions that entire day, tears threatened to spill whenever your mind took to you to that overpriced kitchen again.

Now that he had gone to a dangerous and unnerved assaulter from a Dad trying to take care of his daughter, your mind wouldn’t put anything past him. You knew that in the back of your mind that he was a mobster and your ‘friendship’ was alarming to say the least, but now there was no denying his resources and power and the very obvious threat to your life lingering in the air.

At least before you had the luxury to be oblivious and ignorant, not anymore though. Steve felt even more unhinged and liberal now, even messaging you daily, greeting texts that you obviously ignored. He knew you both were aware that you never handed him your number and he felt no need to hide his pursuit.

You read most of the messages, not bothering with a single reply though. You tried to block him but somehow your phone would still receive messages from his number, even though his contact would always peek back at you from the otherwise empty blacklist.

As if his torment wasn’t ample, another message thread from a different number would forward you alarming images, photos of Grace in her daycare, on a class trip to the park and even her playing in your backyard. You had no doubt that this was another game of his to show you his resources.

You skipped daycare for a few days, your mental health worse than it was after the carnival attack, because now you had a personal tormentor and you cursed yourself for falling into this mess. At times, you believed it wasn’t your fault really, you just helped a kid and this situation spiraled itself but what would pointing fingers now get you? The harsh truth was you were in a calamitous situation now and every step from now on had to be thought out.

So, you let Grace attend her daycare and acted if nothing was amiss or altered, after the few initial breakdown days of course, kept going to your job and earning the bread. You considered your options, you really wanted to go to the cops or a higher fair power but those were few these days, almost non existent in your city. You also vaguely recalled meeting three of the Captains of the PD at Sarah’s birthday, all smiley and doe eyed for Steve. You knew they wouldn’t help, fucking kiss-asses.

Maybe you would have to move somewhere else, perhaps to your hometown, at least till things cooled down or better yet were forgotten? But that trail was very predictable and you didn’t want your parents in this mess.  

You also came to know that Steve had inserted himself in the other spheres of your life. You were sure your location was always being sent to him, the knowledge a courtesy of the black car following you while you travelled to home at some late day’s end.

Aiden told you whereabouts were easy to track, when you inquired ambiguously. Another instance was when you went to the bank to deposit cash for your debit card, you came face to face with an enormous amount already there. Somehow, the limit on your credit card was also extended. How, you knew. The clerk told you about an email you must have gotten in regards to it, you dismissed that justification away and told them to not accept the cash. To sum the discussion, they weren’t helpful and had no policy against anonymous donors.

Aiden, your trusted coworker cum pal, sensed the shift in your aura and fidgety form very easily, pestering you with questions and you decided to turn to him, stressed and tired and ready to do something. His questioning eyebrows made you confess vaguely but you refused to tell him the extent of it. Just that his prediction came true and you needed help. Let’s just say, Aiden was a good man.

With time, Steve’s ‘affectionate’ messages became deranged, and you found it harder to act nonchalant in your daily life. You were thankful he didn’t come to visit you, possibly occupied with the rumored war between the mobs. You just prayed for a few more days of ignorance, just enough time to think and do something.

“What do you mean someone collected her?!” You had a hard time controlling your voice, you were about to burst, in tears or with anger, you didn’t know.

“The man was verified in the emergency contacts and we got a letter signed and approved by you to skip the day an hour into the first activity.”

“A man? Emergen-, wait no! What fucking approved letter?”

You had three emergency contacts, your mom in another state, Aiden, and one of the other kid’s mom you had grown close to. Aiden was with you at work all day, so did someone disguise themselves as him? And what was the deal with the letter signed by you? You surely didn’t remember writing and authorizing one.

The boy, Pietro, who had been the receptionist for as long as you could remember, shuffled through the chaotic piles of paper and presented a letter to you, and your blood froze as your eyes skimmed the font.

Your beautiful cursive stared right back at you and you knew that no one would ever be able to distinguish between this penmanship and the one in the pocketbook in your clutch. No one but you. Even though you knew you had not written it, the slightly different ‘f’ and ‘g’ told you everything.

Your signature at the bottom though, was done quite perfectly and that made you even more scared.

“I did-, I didn’t write this! What the-” Your widened eyes met Pietro’s from above the paper but all he offered you was a meek smile. Your hands shook with rage and for the first time in your life, you had the urge to slap someone really bad.

“Maybe your family had an emergency to take he-”

“No, you don’t get it!” You stopped yourself from getting frantic, willing yourself to take deep breaths and think rationally. Today of all days, things had to mess up.

He didn’t know you had no family in this city, that you had a mobster after you or the subtle threats that his hired spy sent to you.

Was going to the police an option? Aiden already told you that the cops were as good as Steve’s men. But this was about your missing kid! You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to her. And you were giving Steve way too much credit, what if he wasn’t behind this all? Come to think of it, what if the other number wasn’t his?

Relax yourself! Thinking of disturbing theories wouldn’t help anyone. You thought you should go to the cops, just in case. No mentioning of Steve, just a woman with a ‘missing child’ report.

‘Missing Child’ left an acrid taste behind and you were too close to a breakdown, but your whole journey of single-parenthood taught you to kick vulnerability aside, well most of the times.

You turned and were about to leave, but Pietro stopped you. “If you are going to the cops Ma’am, they require 8 hours of inactivity or disappearance time for kids under 5.”

Well look who just read your mind.

You huffed and kept the tears at bay, your mind thinking of what to do then? Grace was obviously taken-

“How could you let a toddler leave without informing the parents?” You knew your anger was channeling out at the wrong man but didn’t he all but hand Grace to the stranger?

You beat him answering and inquired, “What did the man look like? Do you have any footage? Anything?” The wrinkles in your forehead and stress creases on your face paired with the eyebags betrayed your age surely. You were sure you had aged more this week than an entire decade, juggling your normal life with the hovering threat.

“You shouldn’t be this worried Ma’am.”

The fucking audacity.

“Your daughter recognized him, she all but ran to him and this other little girl he came with. You should maybe ask your parent-friends around? A blonde family perhaps?”

As all the emotions drained from your face and terror took over, the young lad in front of you looked smug. You wondered as if you imagined the faintest of smirks on his face.

You crumpled the letter in your hands, seething with rage as you stepped in your car. Oh, you were mad, more wrathful than ever. You could take any hits on you, any threat but not on Grace, never on her.

You were stupid, you had already decided you wouldn’t put anything past him but unknowingly, you did put this past him. You thought this man had a shred of decency to not use your kid in this adult war, being a parent himself and all but what a surprise! You were wrong.

You drove to your home, your thoughts a mix of trepidation, anxiety and fury. You were scared of him and his reach and resources but if he put Grace in any type of danger; whether to teach you a lesson or use her as bait or both, there’d be consequences.

Lord knows you killed a man a month ago Grace was threatened.

You had one thing to do before contacting Steve about Grace but you never got to do it because unexpectedly the bastard was in your home. In your home.

The black sports car outside was a huge giveaway but your suspicions were confirmed when you opened the door with your house key. The banter and giggles from inside alarmed yet calmed you; the dread of confrontation and the assurance of Grace’s safety reigned your mind.

As the door opened painfully slow like a horror movie, the sight that met your eyes made you sick with a feeling of failure. It wasn’t gore or blood or grunge, it was Steve bouncing Grace in the air and catching her while Sarah twirled around in the living room.  

This man was craftier than you thought, every action of his was calculated, each a refined step. You had been so preoccupied to avoid direct encounters with him in your little family’s life that you didn’t think he had other ways. He was always looming around with Sarah and as Grace began to trust Sarah, she consequently began to trust her blonde guardian too.

As you slammed the door behind you, Steve’s eyes snapped to yours and his smirk made you want to punch him so hard. The smugness on his face while he let Grace down without breaking eye contact told you he had no regret, no remorse. In fact, he was loving every second of this cat and mouse chase between you two.

You were a millimeter close to losing your shit, the only check being the kids in the room. But you were mad and he was going to know it.

“What the hell, Steve? Messing with my kid?” You threw your clutch onto the couch, Steve haughty by the reception of his sent message but still holding back because of the kids. He called Wanda and you didn’t really notice where she came from but you did register Steve asking to take the girls to the park for a ‘private discussion’.

As Grace passed by you, you grabbed her arm lightly, making her look at you with doe eyes resembling yours. You gave her a smile trying to ease her, but you knew she was smart enough to sense the change in the atmosphere.

Apparently, the whining Sarah wasn’t.

You looked back to Steve, your hold still on Grace and continued with a frown and raised eyebrows, “She isn’t going anywhere, not out of my sight and obviously not with you or your goons.”

Wanda had the audacity to look offended and you scoffed at her, eyes staring Steve’s down.

“Honey, I don’t think the kids should hear what I think you have to say right now.” He said nodding to Wanda to take Grace.

“You must be deranged to think I trust Grace near anyone even remotely related to you! Take your people and get out.” You held your hand up to stop Wanda and pointed towards the door with the most menacing glare you could form.

Grace looked incomprehensibly between you two, concern and confusion on her face. That might have been the first time such a tone was used in your household. The grumbling Sarah was close to throwing a tantrum, irritated by the change in the playful air or the lack of attention to her, you didn’t know. She was hanging on Wanda’s forearm, her feet slipping on your printed rug. Wanda was trying to not look hurt still by your previous statement, distracting herself by the blonde kid and you were baffled by her obliviousness to all this.

Steve, the beefy blonde Lucifer, was furious and seething. His white knuckles and ticking jaw were the most obvious giveaways, the fingers just itching to beat the shit out of someone no doubt.

Was he imagining striking you into compliance into his weird playhouse game complex? You wouldn’t be surprised given the extent of his attempt to ‘win’ you over.

The ‘get out’ tone and blatant disrespect was a bruise to his ego for sure, and by you, a middle-class woman nonetheless was a worse injury. Steve was the deadly boss to armored men in the vicinity, the kids’ father figure, according to him, and Wanda’s stern yet kind employer.

People had been killed for less and there you were, standing in all your glory, being the only person alive to reject Steve Rogers and now, the only to raise your voice at him.

You almost scoffed at his impudence to look offended, what did he expect? For you to submit to him after the stunt he pulled? His reach was scary he proved today and that any future with him in your life in any way, was a fearsome possibility to entertain but you’d be damned if you went down without a fight.  

“You can’t make me leave; we both know. You don’t have the physical edge nor the mental one. I have no problem drawing out G-U-N-S in front of the kids or to throw the warnings around, although I would prefer not to.”

Your free hand itched to slap him, like how his did minutes ago. It wasn’t a mankind problem about men thinking they were entitled to everything; it was a Steve Rogers’s problem. Of course, with him consent didn’t matter. If he had a ‘housewife, kids and fences’ fixation, he’d make it come true.

“Do you even listen to what I say? Or your own words even? Please, go ahead! Traumatise my kid and also yours in your wooing process! Why are you so obsessed? Leave us alone, you freak! I just ignored few messages!” You had a hard time maintaining your cool, if there was any left. You were sure you were scaring Grace and no matter what happened next, you knew she was already traumatized by this entire ordeal already. You were so sorry, so, so, so sorry to your poor baby caught in this mess.

You knew, no, you hoped, he wouldn’t pull out the gun, his actions at the carnival a proof, you remembered how he hid his gun on finding Sarah. That threat was empty but the next one wasn’t, his words making you freeze in your spot.

“I think you keep on misunderstanding me, sweetheart. I don’t make empty promises,”

Posh word for threats.

“For starters, maybe I should pay my future in-laws a visit in their blue duplex. They might need help with the vast garden they have, it is the season for ‘violets’, isn’t it?”

As you froze with your parents being brought up, he also cooled, albeit differently, smirking once again gaining the upper hand, not that he lost it if you were being honest.

“Isn’t threatening my kid enough for you, Steve?” You hated how your loud voice almost broke, your anger slowly subsiding into helplessness and you hated that. You hated his guts, his entitlement, his claim; everything about him.

“You still don’t see it, do you? Our family of four is the most important thing to me right now and I’m not above doing anything to save it.”

“There is no family of four Steve! I keep explaining and you keep coming back to square one with all this bullshit!” The curse word did tick Steve off but he would correct that later, when bigger things weren’t at ploy.

“Your ignorance makes me a little mad sometimes sweetheart and that is why I have to do all I do. You haven’t realized we need each other yet, but I’m staying until you do and even after that, I promise. You know how much it pissed me off to see your tickets and the packed suitcases after I’ve been nothing but nice? I was so generous to spoil you with my riches but instead I find that in your finances.”

This fucker knew. Of course, he did!

You were wondering in the back of your head what had prompted this visit with so many threats and warnings and anguish. He was pissed even before you ‘acted out’, he tracked the tickets and the plan and that meant he even tracked-

“You have so much to learn, but luckily you interact with quite a few people. I am most tempted to start out with this Aiden guy, trying to be the hero and giving you all the ideas. Maybe I should visit him?” Steve wondered out loud, and you flinched at his suggestion, hating how you were trapped by this man.

You couldn’t live with yourself if anyone got hurt because of you, be it your parents or Aiden or any other possibility Steve would come up with. Of course, Grace was your peak priority but you doubted he would hurt her as he threatened to harm them.

“Steve, please.” The fire was almost out, your hands trembling, Grace worried and Steve smug.

“Let the kids go and I think we can come to a conclusion.”

“Steve this needs to stop.” You said, your breaths heavy and helplessness clawing away at you.

“I won’t repeat myself.” He voiced out with a threatening edge, gesturing to Grace and Wanda, clearly telling you to first get the kids out.

For a deranged fucktard, he sure cared about the kids a lot.

You loosened your hold on Grace, patting her arm softly and nudged her to Wanda. Wanda received her little hand and enticed the kids with the promise of ice-cream. Sarah clapped her hands and as the trio left, Grace did look over her shoulders at you in concern and for permission, majorly in concern though. You nodded and waved, a tear dropping as soon as the door clicked shut.

You were still staring at the door, not wanting to meet Steve’s stormy blue orbs when he began, “Today was a slip up that I won’t tolerate again. Neither the cursing nor the dramatics.”

We aren’t in a fucking play, what the fuck is he labelling as dramatics?

Your eyes slowly flickered to his, and you had a hard time not letting the tears escape except the one traitorous one earlier. The fatigue, the worry of Grace’s disappearance, the threats to your friends and family were all catching up to you. It took all in you to stay strong and not fall down right now.

“Steve this isn’t funny anymore. It’s sick and you know it! I just said no! Was that so inexcusable that you had to follow up with this? You have violated me for that, broken into my home and now kidnapped my daughter! At what extent will you stop?” You broke down finally, arms a flailing mess as fat tears rolled down. Nothing scared more than the helplessness this moment. He won and he knew it. The carnival incident was nothing in comparison to this. The only good thing you could hope in all this was a safe Grace but that too only if you complied, which seemed like what you would do now given your attempts at fighting back and scampering have failed laughably.

“Gosh, I forgot how theatrical women are. You are smart darling; you know what I want from day one, just a happy family. Nothing that horrendous has happened and especially not as badly as put it. I’m just looking out for you and me in the long run.” Steve slowly treaded towards you, his hand extended to pat your arm comfortingly but you involuntarily flinched at contact and stepped back. Steve clearly didn’t like that as he caught your arm in a bruising grip and jerked you towards him. Manhandling you as your wet hands rushed to ease his grip was not a tough task for Steve, a surprise to none.

“Stop trembling like I’ve actually done something to harm you!”

Steve clearly didn’t know how to comfort women and it showed.

You stopped with the cowering away, even though it disgusted you to be this much in close proximity with your assaulter. He clearly had anger issues and no clue how to solve them. You needed to steer the conversation right and get him out. You could see your hands visibly shake as you put them on his chest, just to create some distance and in a way of surrendering to not fight. The tears slowed but you don’t think they stopped; it was hard to tell with a million other things on your mind.

As your eyes made contact, Steve loosened his grip, clearly a bit satisfied by your submission, as he began counting to help you breathe. As much as you hated to admit, it helped you and you got a flashback to the time when you freaked out on him about Grace at that extravagant dinner date. That was a sweet gesture then, not so sweet now. Funny how drastically things change with time.

It wasn’t so much Steve’s help as it was your own mind telling you to be fucking smart about the whole ordeal right now.

“Good. Better. Now let’s talk. Why were you planning to run away? I’ve been busy and coming home to find out that wasn’t joyful, you know.” His smile suggested a better mood than before but his voice, his husky voice always had this daring edge that almost challenged you to defy him but at the same time warned you of unpleasant consequences if you did.

“Steve, I’m scared.” You spoke with utmost honesty. “The part of the world you associate yourself with scares me. You can’t blame me for not wanting that life for Grace, I mean you have a kid of your own. Wasn’t the carnival attack specifically on Sarah?”

The reasoning was right but you knew you triggered him the moment his smile evaporated. He either felt insulted as a parent or disrespected in his profession or probably both.

He was fighting his inner demons already and you pointing it out was a slap to his face, a hit he didn’t want to take.

“That was a slip up, I admit. Never again. I’m only human, okay?” He convinced himself and you, his grip tightening a bit again.

Oh no, not the right direction to take.

You reckoned he still had nightmares about it like you, he really did love Sarah a lot, all things aside.

“Besides, I am looking out for you! Out for you and Grace and Sarah. I remember my promise of never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

You definitely didn’t trust his security or his people because what sort of a mobster let his daughter get targeted and possibly abducted? You definitely didn’t know the whole story or if it was just a bad day but he wasn’t a person that deserved some slack. Despite all this, you knew what all he held above you, above a common man. He might not be ‘Kingpin’ skilled but a threat to you nonetheless.

Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “Is that what you call following me around, huh?” which you immediately regretted.

“Trust the process, baby. Everything is just to protect you.”

Is that what he called stalking even Grace around and twistedly enough, sending you proof of that? The anonymous thread of photos was another nightmare of yours, thanks to him. The last being a candid photo inside Grace’s room, her sleeping in her bed this morning and that’s when you decided you needed to get out. Of course, that didn’t go as planned.

“How am I supposed to do that when you have cameras in my house?!” You scoffed and he reeled back at the accusation, having the nerve to look impressed at being uncovered and caught red-handed.

“Oh my fucking God, it was you! You sick pervert!” You jumped out of his grip, your eyes wide and horrified. “I wasn’t aware of what to make of it but of course, it was you! Who else would be sick enough to do that?” You let out a humorless chuckle. You always put things past him even when you keep telling yourself you shouldn’t. When will you ever learn huh?  

You were full on panicking yet again, this man was an assaulter, a stalker and a creep too. It would have made a good dark, psychological thriller for you to watch if you weren’t the protagonist about to suffer his obsession.

He reached out to steady you again, but you whipped and stumbled back, realizing too late that you elbowed Steve’s nose so bad that there was a crunch. That, right there, was the look a man real-fucking-furious on Steve’s face and now you could see the feared mobster, the man who was personally terrorizing you under the beautiful, Greek God façade.

Steve reacted so fast even with an injury that in a split second, your view of his face turned into a view of his crotch.

“You do realize that there are others ways for me to teach you obedience? I think it’s fucking time you show me your gratitude for my care and attention and apologize for your misconduct and unkind response.” Steve spoke with a hoarse voice, a voice running out of patience and just about done with defiance.

His hand fisted your hair, maintaining eye contact while he nodded between you and his crotch. You knew what he wanted, what he was expecting as ‘thanks’.

“Steve, please no, you don’t-”

His other hand grabbed your jaw, stopping you from speaking as he warned, “I think you have done just enough talking for today, so why don’t you put that tongue to a better use and show me how sorry you are. Better make it convincing because I’d hate to pay one of your friends a visit and then bitch about a nasty blowjob.” He smirked at the end of his monologue, eyes shining with triumph and amusement.

You wouldn’t let him harm anyone else, you couldn’t. You and your daughter were already knee-deep in a pit and at this point, it’d just be cruel to drag someone else in. With shaky hands opening his pants, you just hoped you could get Grace out before you eventually were buried in it.

“Now that’s a good girl. Submissive is a sexy look on you.” His hands patted your hair, playing with your tresses while yours pulled his pants and then briefs down.

His member jerked out, almost slapping you in the face as you recoiled at his insolence to get hard and erect at your torment. Your disdain must have shown which he took as admiration and derision to take his affluent cock in.

“No need to get shy, I have faith you’ll be able take it just as well in your pretty pussy as you will right now. Open up-”

“Steve, I beg you-”

Just as you had cut him off, he interrupted your pleading. Your gag reflex was probably the most efficient in the world but that turned this narcissist on. It had been years since you had done it, never with a man as beefy as Steve.

His taste was salty and if you had to put it into better words, it was the like overpriced sea salt flakes that you never bought. High and pricey and for the entitled.

Your hands clutched at his thighs as you blacked out multiple times; your jaw aching, uvula swaying and tears escaping. Him forcing himself on you brough a new sense of vulnerability as your body trembled. Steve relished like a sadist, practically rutting into you all by himself as you just sat there with your jaw unnaturally open.

His obscene moans and groans were crass and nauseating and you just prayed for this to be over soon and for no one to walk in on this, especially your kid.

It seemed like it would never end, your body dehydrating with all the spit it produced, the drool dribbling and landing just beside your knees on your printed rug. You would have to throw that out.

The tears stooped after some point, the sobbing an unnecessary action that just tired you out more on this eventful day. You moved your tongue around to prevent your teeth from scratching him when he shifted angles. If this was what he did on slightly mad, you didn’t want to find what he did for a more serious punishment.

Apparently, that action was something that turned him on even more, his breath hitching as neared closure. In broken whispers he demanded that again and you complied, wanting to get done with it.

He growled in the moment of his release and you tried to lean back but his grip didn’t relent. “Swallow.” His grainy, exasperated voice said out loud and you knew better than to defy.

He released you and you fell on to the rug, hip bruising by knocking into some furniture and tears coming back again after being hydrated by his seed. He packed himself, his smile smug and content as his expressions truly resembled ecstasy being personified.

“You be a good fiancée from now on and maybe you’ll have all your friends alive and present at our wedding. No cheeky business from now on, got it?” Steve hummed then and strutted out, not even bothering to listen to your reply.

As soon as the door slammed, your eyes closed and your demons danced again.

There was no right direction to take when you were stuck in a loop.