#oh boy...this got pretty long
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overnightheartbeats · 1 year ago
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Aaron in his heartbreak era (aka wallowing in his sadness bc of his divorce) - a playlist
"Mil Tormentas" - Morat
"Me hiciste un favor, me devolviste el miedo...por fin, tengo algo que perder si te vas y yo me quedo"
"Sabes bien que yo, yo te salvé de mil tormentas pueden ser mås, perdí la cuenta, pues mi pronóstico fue estar contigo, estar contigo" "Te voy a rogar y yo nunca ruego, acepto ser el perdedor porque sé que no es un juego"
"What Breaks My Heart" - Parachute
"It's not the way I saw you kiss him before you got out of the car, but I could tell you really love him...that's what breaks my heart"
"But there's a truth I came to terms with, as you walked out of the door...see, there's a chance in never knowing, there's a hope in holding on...to finally know you'll never love me..if I'm honest, that's what breaks my heart"
"Recuérdame" - Pablo Alborån
"Como quema que te vayas...entre lågrimas me duele, déjame verte, una despedida y ya me quedo en este infierno al ver que hoy me olvidas...recuérdame ahora que ya decidiste ir con el. Donde te marchas, donde piensas irte vayas...donde vayas se que ya no voy a perseguirte..."
"Happier" - Ed Sheeran
"'Cause baby you look happier, you do...my friends told me one day I'll feel it too and until then I'll smile to hide the truth, but I know I was happier with you"
"Sat in the corner of the room, everything's reminding me of you..nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier, aren't you?"
"Que Lloro - Sin Bandera
"Nunca me sentĂ­ tan solo como cuando ayer de pronto lo entendĂ­ mientras callaba La vida me dijo a gritos que nunca te tuve y nunca te perdĂ­"
"Y me explicaba que el amor es una cosa, que se da de pronto en forma natural, lleno de fuego, si lo forzĂĄs se marchita sin tener principio, llega a su final"
"Ahora, tal vez, lo puedas entender que si me tocas se quema mi piel. Ahora, tal vez, lo puedas entender y no te vuelvas si no quieres ver...que lloro sin ti, que ya lo entendĂ­, que no eres para mĂ­"
"En Coma" - Morat
"Ya no me quedan fuerzas para perdonarte mås, juro que lo intenté, pero no pude ver..no hay corazón que aguante que le escondan la verdad
"Ya no nos quedan mĂĄs promesas que salvar, no hay anestesia que me ayude a perdonarte y no hay amnesia que me haga olvidar tantas secuelas que quedan de amarte"
"The Man Who Can’t Be Moved" - The Script
"I'm not broke, I'm just a broken-hearted man, I know it makes no sense but what else can I do? And how can I move on when I'm still in love with you?"
"'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet and you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street"
"People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl, oh...there are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world"
"Mientes Tan Bien" - Sin Bandera
"Que te quedarĂĄs conmigo una vida entera..que contigo, adiĂłs invierno, solo primavera....yo te creo todo y tĂș no me das nada"
"Que si sigo tu camino llegarĂ© hasta el cielo...tĂș me mientes en la cara y yo me vuelvo ciego. Yo me trago tus palabras, tĂș juegas un juego"
"Tomas de mi mano y por dentro lloro. Aunque sea mentira, me haces sentir vivo. Aunque es falso el aire, siento que respiro. Mientes tan bien que me sabe a verdad..todo lo que me das"
"Mala Gente - Juanes
"TĂș me pides que te deje ahora, ahora cuando mĂĄs te necesito..tĂș me dices que este amor se fue al olvido ahora, ahora cuando yo ya no te olvido"
"TĂș me dices que este amor ha sido en vano...que malo que dices eso, pero que bueno que se acabo"
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quirkle2 · 4 months ago
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i have GOT to stop drawing things for fics i haven't written yet
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fairyofshampgyu · 5 months ago
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he’s literally so beautiful and handsome
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pup-pee · 18 days ago
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she red on my stoner until the red sun never sets IT NEVER SETS I AHVENT SLEPT
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guppygiggles · 8 days ago
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I started watching Delicious in Dungeon last night with my spouse, and I have no choice but to ship Laios and Senshi because they are actually just us if our heights were reversed, lmao.
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dreamsy990 · 2 months ago
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i drew silly gijinkas of my dogs
the dogs in question
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#doodles#uhhh ill tag this oc even though its just my dogs lmao#oc#anyways#for the record about their personalities#dakotas very much a grumpy old lady. shes pretty quiet and when she has something to say its not very nice#vyse used to be a little menace!! but hes mellowed out as he got older#and orpheus is a menace!! he loves annoying people its his favorite hobby#he doesnt try to be destructive he just does things he thinks will be cool without thinking and causes massive damage in the process#hes the kid who went WANNA WATCH ME DO A BACKFLIP OFF THIS WALL??? without knowing how to do a backflip#hes like 15 and he was on his schools football team but then one summer everyone came back really buff and he did not#so he doesnt play football anymore#and hes covered in bandages from all the stupid things he does#anyways in terms of designs. i had a vision for dakota and orpheus and none for vyse#dakota specifically i thought should have a long braid and one of those fucked up canadian hats. and orpheus should look like-#-a teenage boy who cant dress nice!! also his hoodie says hellhound on the back#the neon shorts are DIRECTLY ripped from the ones i got from when i did wrestling. theyre so fucking comfy btw#dakota is mostly just cold and comfy. she REFUSES to dress lighter#vyse i didnt have any real ideas for again. i wanted to make him look a bit like his namesake vyse skiesofarcadia but i wasnt sure how#in the end he got that red scarf. which i think does make him look a bit more mischevious since so much of his face is hidden#anyways theyre like a fucked up little found family!! vyse would murder for dakota and orpheus. and dakota probably does too#probably. you can never be sure if she does actually like him#oh also this is mostly irrelevant. but vyse and dakota were meant to be like later 30s (dakotas maybe 38 and vyse is 34? ish?)#and also theyre russian. vyse and dakota i mean. idk if it comes across for vyse but one of my friends guessed it with dakota so!!#idk siberian huskies. theyre russian. Ń€ĐŸŃŃĐžŃ or whatever
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avirael · 5 months ago
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The Frozen Lake
It was the third day since he had stopped feeling like dying.
About a week ago he had woken up from his far too lifelike fever dream and a few days later the last spikes of the fever itself had been gone too just like the hallucinations it had brought in his sleep.
He still had been sick though and welcomed Rael telling him to stay in bed until he was perfectly healthy again all too eagerly.
While he still sneezed every now and then, it was at least tolerable now, still annoying but he didn’t feel incredibly uncomfortable anymore.
That day, just like the last and also the ones before that, he had awoken late. Against Rael’s order to stay in bed he had found the courage to get up and take a look out of the window. It was a sunny day, which in Coerthas still meant that it was bitterly cold though. But the sun was shining brightly and already high in the sky too which meant it had to be almost midday. He had slept way too long again, way to many hours for a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Or maybe it was exactly the lack of dreams that allowed him to finally rest, after all in the past there rarely had been good ones

For a moment he considered to go downstairs and ask for a late breakfast if that wasn’t too insolent given the late hour but then a knock sounded from the door.
Quickly he hurried back to bed, just in case it was Rael, but the person who carefully peeked into the room a few seconds later wasn’t a viera.
“Ah, you are awake! That’s good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and brought a small tray with hot soup and also something warm to drink. “It is so late already, you must be horribly hungry. Alphinaud checked in on you earlier but you were still fast asleep and he didn’t have the heart to wake you.”
A little uncertain on how to answer to that, A’viloh just nodded. Haurchefant grinned, put down a mug on the bedside table and handed A‘viloh a comfortingly warm bowl filled with some rather delicious smelling stew.
Instead of fetching the chair from the small desk by the window, Haurchefant sat down at the lower end of the bed balancing the tray with his own lunch on his knees. Rael once told him that ishgardian society had an absurd amount of strict and antiquated rules and so A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder, that although it seemed like a very appropriate distance to him, in Haurchefant’s hometown the fact alone that he dared to sit on someone else’s bed was probably scandalous.
“I hope you don’t mind me having lunch with you.”, the Elezen asked as he noticed A‘viloh staring.
Quickly the Miqo’te lowered his gaze to his bowl of soup. “Not at all.”, he muttered and tried a spoonful of the food just to change the topic. “Mhh, this is very good!”, he mumbled, still chewing, surprised by how good this really was compared to the bland food and bitter teas Rael had usually brought him these last few days. It must have been the Viera’s way of punishing him for running away.
Haurchefant laughed and then for a while they ate in silence.
“You look a lot healthier already.”, the Elezen stated after a while with an amiable smile on his face before taking a sip from his mug.
A‘viloh shrugged a little embarrassed, since it had been his own fault that he hadn’t been well in the first place. “Only because all of you took so good care of me.”
Haurchefant nodded. “You know, you had us all horribly worried right?”
“Sorry about that.”, he said and guitily looked into his mug.
Curiously Haurchefant eyed him for a moment. “Why did you do that anyway? Run out into the storm.”
A bit surprised A’viloh looked up. Had they all thought he had done this on purpose? “There wasn’t a storm when I left! What do I know about weather? I didn’t expect it to start snowing, let alone that much!”
That made the Elezen chuckle again but he still looked at him expecting an answer.
“Still
 why did you leave?”
“I assumed Rael told you
”, A’viloh replied not sure what Haurchefant wanted to hear exactly. He nodded. “Rael did. But maybe I want to hear it from you
”
A’viloh sighed. His plan hadn’t been very smart and he felt a little uncomfortable having to explain his reasons to someone else, when in retrospect it didn’t make much sense even to his own ears.
“You know the
 circumstances under which we fled Ul’dah
 I couldn’t
 um
 the fact that we didn’t even know what happened to our friends
 I wanted to find out, because it doesn’t seem fair to me that we escaped while all of them didn’t
”
“Mhh
”, Haurchefant nodded thoughtfully but let go off the topic for now. Instead he asked, „And how are you feeling today?”
Somehow that question confused A’viloh even more.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a simple question, isn’t it?”, he said still smiling politely.
Of course it was a simple question. Just the answer felt unreasonable complicated to him. To make things even more difficult people who asked such a question usually wanted to hear “I‘m fine, and you?” or “Very good, thank you.” for an answer and rarely the truth. They certainly didn’t want to hear “A few days ago I was convinced I was going to die and honestly it wasn’t that bad, so now I‘m still not sure wether I am happy to still be alive or not”.
“Alright
 I guess.”, he mumbled instead. He had never been a good liar and could only hope that this fact wasn’t too obvious for the Elezen.
“You know what?”, Haurchefant proclaimed after watching him thoughtfully for a second. “Today is a wonderful day. We should go for a walk.”
“A walk?!”, A’viloh exclaimed wide-eyed, as if he had just asked something unreasonable of him.
“Why not?”
A’viloh couldn’t think of a good reason why not, other than that he was supposed to stay in bed, so he shrugged.
“Where’s Rael?”, he asked instead.
Haurchefant smirked. “Do you need Rael’s permission to go outside?”
“Of course not.”, the Miqo’te protested. “But Rael will be mad if I run off again, especially against their orders to stay in bed.”
“Rael and Alphinaud went to the observatory earlier.”, Haurchefant explained. “We’ll be back before they are, I promise.”
What was A’viloh supposed to say against that and also against the expectant look on the Elezen’s face. He took another glimpse towards the window and decided that it looked nice enough to go outside.
“Fine.”
“Good!”, Haurchefant exclaimed happily and collected their empty bowls and mugs. “There should be warm clothes for you in the wardrobe. If you need anything else just ask someone. I’ll wait for you by the northern gate.”
After Haurchefant had left, A’viloh remained sitting in his bed for a moment longer contemplating on the Elezen’s question. Yes, he felt better again. But better in what comparison? Better than a few days ago when he had felt and also been half-dead? Though he didn’t feel sick anymore now, there still was a weigh on his heart. From his plan that had failed so spectacularly and even more so from the dreams he wouldn’t have minded to keep on dreaming forever.
Vehemently he shook his head and decided not to think about that now or he would just crawl back under the blanket of his comfortably warm bed again. Instead he got up and took a look into the wardrobe. Almost none of these were his own clothes of course since all he possessed were the ones he had worn on his body that day they fled Ul’dah. Very unsuitable for this climate. But neither did he see the borrowed clothes he had worn that night when he had tried to run away. Everything in here looked even softer and warmer like someone had wanted to make sure he was feeling comfortable. To his surprise the things didn’t look that much too big for him either, unlike his last set of clothes. Besides a few Hyur most people here at Camp Dragonhead were grown up Elezen but these clothes looked like they belonged to neither. Maybe it were clothes for Elezen children, he wondered and also thought that in that case someone must have brought them here just for him.
Grateful for so much effort he picked a few pieces and got dressed. Lazily he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of the worst knots but the look into the small mirror at the washbasin, where his tired face stared back at him reproachfully, just made him sigh. Once he was ready he took the warm coat out of the wardrobe too and went out to look for Haurchefant. Just as he had said, the Elezen was standing by the gate that led to the north-east, towards the ruins of the Steel Vigil.
From afar Haurchefant already recognised the Miqo’te, his bright red hair a singularity among all the people living here. Pleasantly smiling as always he waved at him and A’viloh couldn’t help but smile a little too and wave back as he hurriedly walked towards him.
“There you are! I see the clothes fit you nicely.”
A’viloh nodded.
“They do. Thank you very much for these.”
Haurchefant dismissively waved with one hand. “It’s the least I could do
”
But he had done a lot more than that, A’viloh thought. “I think there’s more I need to thank you for. Rael told me it was you who saved my life.”
“Mhhh
”, Haurchefant tilted his head as if he wasn’t sure if this statement was entirely the truth. “Rael is too humble. They played a bit of a role in that too. After all it was Rael who noticed you were gone. And it was also Rael who didn’t leave your bedside and tried their best to heal you.”
A’viloh remembered waking up and finding the usually quite touch-averse viera cuddled up to him with a look on their face so horribly sad like he had never seen on them before. Rael had pretended it was nothing but it had been a very unconvincing performance. Asked about it Alphinaud had only offered a few sentences about how worried Rael had looked and how they had used all kinds of spells he himself had never seen or heard of before, all of it to try and save him. It had made him feel even more guilty for his stupidity.
So maybe Haurchefant was right. But still it had been him who had risked going out into the storm to find him.
“Anyway. I still want to thank you! Honestly.”, he insisted. But how honestly was it really?
Sure, he was glad to still be alive. After all his plan hadn’t been to run out into a blizzard and freeze to death, although some of them seemed to think that was the case. But once he found himself in this situation he had to admit that he had welcomed his fate rather willingly. A fact that shocked even himself a little looking back at it now.
“You’re welcome. After all you wouldn’t be any help to your friends frozen to death out there.”, Haurchefant joked with a wry smile on his lips.
“I guess not...”, A’viloh muttered, the topic of his friends making his mood visibly sink again.
Of course the Elezen noticed and his smile turned into a playful grin. “But I acted a little selfish too, you know? I think Camp Dragonhead is a lot friendlier with your company and I would like to have you and your pretty smile around a little longer.”
For a moment A’viloh’s eyes shot up to look at the others face before he quickly pretended that something somewhere a little bit to his left was a lot more interesting. Sometimes Haurchefant randomly said things, A’viloh hadn’t had the slightest idea how to react to. Not because he was that oblivious but simply because it puzzled him. Nonetheless the air suddenly didn’t feel that cold anymore on his face.
Haurchefant was always very kind to him. Well, he mostly was kind to everybody but sometimes he seemed to admire him especially. Him of all people, although there was nothing special about him. Haurchefant sometimes spoke of him like he was one of the greatest heroes of all time and it felt so ridiculous to him. He was just silly, cowardly A‘viloh! What had he ever achieved in his miserable life to justify such admiration? The people called him a Warrior of Light but wasn’t that some grand overstatement? Some days he thought all of this had been a horrible mistake. A great misunderstanding! Then he wondered how he had ever gotten entangled in this madness in the first place and also if he ever would get out of it again. But what else should he do with his life anyway...
While A’viloh’s brain still screeched in desperate search for a proper response, Haurchefant seemed to realise he had flustered him and glossed it over by gesturing to the gate.
“How about we walk a few yalms? There’s something you need to see!”
Still too dumbstruck to speak or to even wonder what the Elezen was talking about, A’viloh nodded and then proceeded to follow him out into the snowy landscape.
After a few minutes Haurchefant paused and took a deep breath. “Isn’t the air wonderful today?”
A’viloh followed his example, breathed deeply and let his gaze wander over the snow covered landscape with a few pines here and there and the mountains and ruins of the Steel Vigil in the distance. The air was cool and fresh, still cold enough that the warm sun couldn’t melt the snow. Instead the rays of sunshine made the scenery shine and sparkle as if everything was covered not in ice but in millions over millions of tiny diamonds.
“It is.”, he answered and smiled, surprised how beautiful this inhospitable landscape could be, before with a sudden spark of curiosity he finally asked. “Where are we going?”
“It’s not far anymore.”, Haurchefant said with a grin on his face and pointed into another direction. Shortly after and only a bit further ahead they reached a small lake.
As they got closer A‘viloh noticed that it not only was covered in a layer of snow and ice but also that quite a few off-duty soldiers, given the proximity to the camp he assumed they had to be, were standing right on top of the frozen lake. No, they were not quite standing. It looked more like they were dancing or flying maybe. More or less gracefully they moved over the lake‘s surface in fluid swift strides, some just moving in wide circles and other swirling around this way or that. A’viloh had never seen something like this and it looked strange and impossible but at the same time very beautiful to him.
The two of them had almost reached the lake by then, A’viloh a few steps ahead to get a better look at the wondrous people on the ice and he already wanted to ask how they did that, when his attention was drawn elsewhere by a curious squawking sound.
“Oh! Look at them!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed, his fascinated smile still turning a little brighter, as he gestured to a small flock of wild geese resting at the shore of the lake. With ruffled feathers they sat closely huddled together at the edge of the ice and suddenly A‘viloh couldn’t help but worry about them. They looked so unbothered by his presence, sleeping through the day and all the hubbub around them, looking all exhausted and frozen with their puffed up feathers. Like anything could happen to them and they wouldn’t even mind.
Strangely he wondered what he himself had looked like when Haurchefant had found him unconscious in the snow. He must have been a pitiful sight. Had the Elezen thought him beyond saving too, just like he himself had. What if he had found him a little later or not at all? Maybe that would have been better, a voice murmured to him just like it had so many times before and for a moment, tempted by the grief heavy on his heart once again, he almost believed it.
But no, he would be dead then and while he would have liked to imagine that this would mean he could be with his loved ones again, it was not exactly what either of the tribes he had lived with believed.
Vaguely he remembered his father working for hours, digging a grave at what used to be Wellwick Wood. An elderly woman too exhausted by their long journey, his grandmother if he remembered correctly, had died shortly after they had arrived there. With a sad smile on his face his father had explained to his children, who had stared down into the hole in the ground with confusion in their eyes, how by returning her body to the earth there could still grow new life from this death.
Or the drake tribe of the Sagolii Desert, who always burned their dead and left the ashes to be carried away by the desert wind, believing that it would make it easier for the deceased‘s aether to return to the Aetheric Sea and create something new elsewhere.
With a sudden sharp pain in his heart A’viloh realised that neither of the people he loved had gotten the burial they would have wanted for themselves. And neither had A‘viloh himself wanted to die in the coldness of Coerthas and be forever forgotten under a thick layer of snow and ice. He had thought about dying before but never had he been this close to it. For a second he wondered if this was something worth speaking to Rael about, but he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t misunderstand and get mad at him again.
“Why do you make such a sad face now?”, Haurchefant asked having noticed the smile slip from the Miqo’te’s face. But A’viloh just vehemently shook his head and focused on the geese again.
“They must be horribly cold.”, he wondered in a voice that suggested he already planned to take all of them to the safety of his comfortably warm room.
Haurchefant chuckled. “Don’t worry, they survived the storm out here after all. They keep each other warm, that’s why you‘ll rarely see one of them alone. A bit like you and your friends.”
“Maybe
”, A’viloh answered thinking about this comparison for a moment. “I just wish it wouldn’t always be me who needs to be taken care of. But as proven in Ul’dah and now once again I am simply too weak and useless to keep myself alive, not to mention anyone else.”
The Elezen’s face got a little stern as he folded his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t say that, I am sure it’s not true! This was just bad luck! You are neither weak nor useless!”
A’viloh shrugged. “But that’s how I feel right now...”
Slowly Haurchefant nodded before speaking again with a silent but determined voice. “Listen. I‘ll never forget how bravely you fought for Francel although you barely knew him. You could have gotten yourself in trouble with that and you helped him anyway.”
“It’s not like I did that on my own -”, A’viloh tried to protest but was immediately interrupted. “But you still helped! And I’m sure even without Rael you would have done so!”
Another shrug was all Haurchefant got in response, so the Elezen thought for a second before making an offer. “You want to make yourself useful, right? Get stronger? I could teach you how to fight like a real ishgardian knight, with sword and shield. Or we have some dragoons at Camp Dragonhead too! I’m sure there’s a lot you could learn from them.”
A‘viloh‘s face turned to disbelief. “I really don’t think I could fight with armor and weapons this heavy
”
“You can’t say so if you don’t try! And I have you know that dragoon armors are surprisingly light. How do you think they could still be this agile otherwise? Promise me to at least try training with them a little!”
He didn’t really want to agree to that. He knew he would make a fool of himself. But how could he say no with Haurchefant trying everything in his power to cheer him up. Weakly he shook his head and muttered: “Fine
”
“Perfect!”, Haurchefant exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. “I think an early reward for your efforts is appropriate then!”
Confused A’viloh watched him take a small bag off of his shoulders, which he hadn’t even noticed until now. For a moment the Elezen was busy undoing a knot before he opened the bag and presented to A‘viloh a set of two weirdly shaped blades attached to pieces of wood with leather straps. He had no idea what these constructs were meant to do and that was plainly visible on his face. “What’s that?”
“Ice skates of course!”, Haurchefant said as if that would explain it all but the Miqo’te‘s face remained clueless, so Haurchefant gestured to the lake behind them. “You attach them to your boots so you can walk on the ice like this!”
“Oh!”, A’viloh exclaimed as he understood what Haurchefant was planning. “I don’t think-
 I mean I‘ve never-
 You don’t really want me to step on that lake do you?” The idea somehow scared him.
“Why not?”, Haurchefant asked for the second time today with this smile that made the question sound like a challenge.
“It’s just a bit of ice!”, A‘vi objected. “What if it breaks?”
The Elezen shook his head and proceeded to fasten the metal blades beneath his boots. “Ah, don’t worry. The ice is thick enough, it will take at least a few more days to melt.”
“I don’t know
”, was all A’viloh replied as Haurchefant pressed another pair of skates into his hands. But the Elezen remained determined and took a few wobbly steps through the snow and onto the ice. “See! I can stand on it and it doesn’t break! You are a lot lighter than me, so why wouldn’t you be able to?”
Oh, you don’t know my bad luck!, A‘viloh thought but Haurchefant didn’t look like he would take that for an excuse. Instead he stretched out a hand towards the Miqo’te. “Come one! Believe me, this is going to be funny!”
For a second A‘viloh pondered his options. The idea of nothing but a little bit of ice between him and the water still terrified him but Haurchefant seemed so excited about this and the other people actually seemed to have fun too. Maybe he should at least pretend to try... Reluctantly he sat down on a rock and tried to put on the skates just like Haurchefant had done a moment ago.
“The clasp on the back too. Make sure none of them are loose
 Yes, that looks fine!”, Haurchefant helpfully explained. As A’viloh got up, he almost flopped right back down into the snow. It was a weird feeling to balance his whole weight on only two thin pieces of metal. As he carefully took the first few steps towards the lake Haurchefant reached out for him once more. “Here! Take my hand! I don’t want you to fall
”
Hesitantly A‘vi stepped onto the ice and immediately felt like the ground was being pulled away beneath his feet. He struggled for balance, feeling himself falling backwards, so Haurchefants arm was a very welcome thing to hold on to.
With a chuckle the Elezen tried to loosen A‘vi‘s desperate grip on his arm and instead took each of his hand in one of his own before carefully making slow steps backwards pulling A‘viloh over the ice, which A’vi could swear was making suspicious crackling sounds below them. There was no way to tell the blades beneath his feet not to move, so all A’viloh could do was try not to fall and plead to Haurchefant with ears flat on his head and panic in his eyes, as he slowly was pulled further onto the lake. “No, no, no. Take me back, that’s a horrible idea!”
“Calm down. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise.”, Haurchefant said soothingly and continued to explain to him how to move on the ice skates. And in fact the Elezen’s calm voice slowly made A’viloh feel less anxious. His hands, frantically clasping at Haurchefant’s, relaxed along with his legs. It was still a weird feeling to be standing on the ice but now it felt a lot easier to remain balanced. He glanced at the people around them while remaining as still as possible, studied their movements for a moment and then tentatively tried to mimic the way they slowly pushed their feet above the slippery surface. To his surprise he really moved forward without much effort and also without feeling the sensation of falling again, closer to Haurchefant who had steadied him with his outstretched arms so far.
“See! It’s not that difficult.”, he said while making another step backwards so A’viloh had to follow with another step forward. The Miqo’te, strangely excited about the fact that he was actually moving on these weird ice-blades, laughed happily. “You are even going backwards!”
Haurchefants laughed. “One step after the other. Let’s teach you how to go forward first, hm? I‘ll let go off one of your hands but don’t worry, I still got you. One feet after the other just like you did before
”
In fact it almost felt easier now that he could use one of his arms to balance himself. Very slowly at first they floated above the icy surface of the lake but soon A‘viloh got braver. Once he almost lost his balance but for a comparably tall and strong person like Haurchefant it seemed like a very easy task to keep a small Miqo’te on his feet. Almost falling had felt like a shock for a second but only moments later they were laughing about it and in the end A’viloh was surprised and also a little proud how quickly he had learned and how much fun this was.
He wasn’t sure how much time they spent there on the frozen lake but at some point a bell sounded from the nearby Camp. Startled A’viloh looked up (and almost lost his balance again). “How late is it? I’m sure you have more important things to do than this! I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from doing your work.”
But Haurchefant just laughed and teased, “What could be more important than prove to you that not all of Coerthas is a deadly wasteland trying to kill you? But I think we really should return soon. I don’t want you to get cold again and after all we also don’t want Rael to find out about this little excursion, do we?”
For a second A’viloh wished the viera could see him now and wondered what their reaction would be like. The thought made him chuckle.
And as they floated, one last circle around the lake, A’viloh couldn’t help but wonder that maybe it was happy moments like this. The reason he was still here. Moments that made his life worth living.
---
inspired by the poem The Reversal by Leila Chatti
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv writing#ffxiv screenshots#gpose#Aviloh Tia#Haurchefant Greystone#This ended up sadder than I wanted actually XD#But at least it ends on a good note and thats worth something huh?#I read that poem while I was still writing the last story and thought it fitted A'vi's mood quite well#and that it would be sweet to make him go ice skating although he has no clue what that is and how to do it :D#Did I ever tell you A'vi is his own worst enemy sometimes? I probably did or you figured that out by yourself by now...#If he thinks he can't do something he won't even try#I like to blame that on the expectactions people had for him and which he failed repeatedly but it's probably a bit of a character flaw too#However before late HW it is probably also very easy to talk him into pretty much anything if you have the slightest bit of persuasion skil#oops thats probably a character flaw too... but in this case it is useful at last :D#A'vi will get better soon I promise!#Well obviously he will get worse first for obvious reasons but then he'll get better eventually!#Maybe... I hope... Oh boy I am seriously trying but this sad cat doesn't want to be happy D:#I think getting the Scions back will help a little and so will the happenings of Stormblood I think...#And regarding Haurchefant: I don't think I see this as particularly romantic (I mean from Haurchefant's side maybe given his character)#I should probably make a post one of these days giving some iside look on A'vi's emotions! because it's complicated! XD#he's been alive but not really living for so long now and maybe this near-death-expierence was necessary to make him think about that...#rant over! I'll make a different post another day! this already got out of hand again...#and once again I’m posting this on a Friday! i might just start calling it FanficFriday! which doesn’t mean you get something each week XD
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b4kuch1n · 2 years ago
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done with the current dip pen comm queue (just in time for another Nib Accident too lol. I’m learning how to take care of the tools as well) so uh! it’ll take me two days to get a replacement and get some other stuff done. which means slots will be available again this saturday!
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notmoreflippingelves · 8 months ago
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Shi Long Lang insisting all of his agents identify themselves as "1" during team countoffs, and Manfred von Karma setting his bank PIN to #1 have the same and yet opposite energies.
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sysig · 9 months ago
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Really digging out the old OCs now; Pan-na, Pilok, Azalea, squirrel boys Will and Damien, and Cupid and Venus <3 (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#The Original Onslaught has begun >:) *stock maniacal laughter*#Lots of old faces! Lots of unfamiliar faces haha#You might actually recognize the last two individual boys as Blind Willie and Big Boy - those two I've Actually posted over here lol#The rest not so! Goshdang! I actually don't think I post Azalea much of anywhere lol like Maybe once on DA? Possibly? Heck#Same with Pan-na now that I think of it actually she's a Tomodachi Life-specific character haha#I had a few that despite not being fandom-tied I just can't get rid of to make room <3 They're residents! I'd miss them!#I really spoiled Pan-na - lots of cute clothes and a pretty room - so she gets special treatment in doodles too haha#Pilok was made while I was really into making original species on DA - anyone else here fill out the long development sheet? Fun stuff haha#I wish I'd finished a few more memes that got popular on DA back then â™Ș Like the OC Remix! Very fun I made a rough of one years ago#Looking at Pilok now she kinda reminds me of the aliens from the DBZ special where Bardock gets sent to the past lol#Azalea was another random design that got a few doodles 'cause I thought she was edgy and cool haha#A more animalistic take on a stomachmouth - I don't think she can talk even she's just shaped like a humanoid maybe to blend in? Dunno#Oh looking back at my notes she was only supposed to have three fingers lol oh well#I don't think I ever drew her with her stomach open either but I'm pretty? sure I always imagined it being teeth-lined haha#Chomp#Squirrel boys! If you remember a few years ago I tried to draw Will again and was like ''>:?your face'' lol - I think I got it better now!#Still not 100% but better! He has very Shaped features haha#Big Boy turned out silly haha very one-large-anime-eyed - he deserves it lol#His hair falling over itself looked cool in my early doodles :0 Careful lines! Not so careful now lol#And Buzz is just missing haha#And finally Cupid and Venus <3 <3 I don't remember now but those two and their third girlfriend Spider might've been my first polycule? :0#These two were a couple before inviting her in tho haha - there's a whole big backstory of how they met and all that#Venus was one of the main characters in Other Side of the Gun and then split off into her own side story with Cupid- It's a whole Thing#They're very sweet tho <3 I love them ♄#Kinda seasonal for Cupid haha I didn't plan that! Her favourite holiday is Valentine's Day of course
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shikai-the-storyteller · 26 days ago
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Head in my hands wondering if I'll have to cut the entire Chume Labs section out because it's more suited to being a different chapter, but also knowing the next chapter can't have it either so I might have to cut it from this fic entirely aaaAAAAAAAAAA
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#i talk#fic talk#I was thinking I could stay up a while and try to finish this chapter so I could maybe post it tomorrow#but this is really eating me up#On the one hand... a solely Fuga chapter would be great#on the other hand... this chapter is supposed to show their growth from Fuga to the Chume Labs era#(even if it IS 99% about Fuga)#because that's what the chapter's theme is about#Agh#I'll keep chipping away at things regardless#Anyways for folks who like numbers#so far of everything I've already written / edited I have 5588 words#If I solely make this a Fuga chapter there are 1135 words left in my draft#meaning the final total of the chapter will be around 7000 words more or less since I tend to add a lot more stuff when I'm editing#I've got 1870 words (approximately) written for the Chume Labs section#which means if I do the entire Fuga + Chume Labs part this chapter will probably be just under 10000 words#@ __________ @#Maybe I should split this chapter up and make the Chume Labs part an interlude#Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm#Or maybe I'll throw it in Chapter 4 after all. Hell I dunno#We'll see how I feel once I finish editing all the Fuga stuff#I'm pretty happy with the Fuga stuff though but oh boy did it kill me#I think the reason I'm waffling about the Chume Labs bit is because technically it wasn't supposed to be included in this chapter#I had the idea two (?) ish weeks ago and went ''Wait that's a great idea to add''#which is how 99% of my writing goes and is one of the reasons why everything takes so long lol#But anyways. Yeah it's looking like no chapter update today (or I guess tomorrow depending on your timezone)#Sorry guys!#But it's almost done
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bmpmp3 · 4 months ago
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 4 months ago
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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately
#art#i'll be yapping in the tags#its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually#ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear#“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic#in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that#but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess#we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen#i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live#but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean#the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet#it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before#i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs#the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze#now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of#im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it#because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment#i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes#i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then#i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it#perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills#and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain#perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing#one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck#but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane#next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century#thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye#i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft
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angryborzois · 5 months ago
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well that was something
#angryborzois rambles#holy shit this is a long story#basically as a class we all went to this historic place on the top of a mountain (we had to do a long hike to get up there)#and a friend and i decided to stay afterward to mess around#my friend wanted to reenact kny scenes so i was like ok lets do it (shh we're idiots with zero brain cells)#and the place was pretty cool to hang out in soo why not#but soon it started thundering in the distance so we decided to start heading down the mountain#it was all shits and laughs until we made it down the mountain (tho we heard a weird noise once and got scared bc what if its a boar)#once down the mountain we had to navigate the woods around the area to get to the station#it was a very long route and on top of that it started pouring heavily#and anyway we walked for a long ass time in the rain when we encountered a suspicious person#it didnt help that before we saw this guy we saw a poster for a wanted criminal in the area#the guy was way ahead of us but we sensed bad vibes from him so we tried to let him walk ahead but he just...waited for us??#(he was in the direction we needed to go)#for a couple minutes we tried to trail way behind him but every time we stopped to let him walk on he would suddenly stop and stall#after a while we completely stopped for a few minutes to observe and in response he hid in the bushes?? so we decided something was def up#we were very alarmed and we quietly snuck out of his view and then ran for it#i genuinely worried that maybe we were gonna get killed in these woods#we backtracked a little and took a different path that went in the direction we needed to go#i was a little concerned because at one point the path had an intersection that merged with the first path we were in#but i didnt want to risk cutting through pure woods and i wanted to be at the very least on an animal trail than anything so no choice ig#and so we quietly snuck past the intersection but thankfully no one was around#a few minutes after that we heard a weird radio voice?? so we freaked out and ran the rest (prob unrelated but u can never be too sure)#and after a while of pure stress we made it out of the woods and to civilization#i was drenched but oh boy i was so happy#my friend and i agreed though that it was fucked up that we had to be more scared of a human than the wilderness#but everything after that was fine#im honestly glad it was pouring though because i think it helped cover the sounds of us getting away#well tbh i have a feeling he prob saw us get away but just didnt bother chasing bc the paths were muddy as hell and he was kinda far#but yeah that was def smthing
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universestreasures · 8 months ago
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My Brother Is Also My Dad
?
(A Drabble Requested By @shacchou )
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"It's time for my Final Phase and time to finish you off, Akatsuki! Impact Call! I pay 3 Gauge To evolve Bal into an Impact Monster!" Mokuba declares, three of the floating cards in his gauge meter turning into stars as their energy floods into the monster located to his right area.
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"Bal
Bal will do his super best, bal!"
"Bal is now a Size Two monster, with 1100 attack and 6000 defense and a critical of five thanks to having Bal Knuckle equipped! And his attacks cannot be nulified, meaning that Art of Body Replacement card I know you have in your hand is useless!"
"Oh no! I knew I should have used that to guard your item's attack earlier, but with only one card left in your hand, I didn't think you could have possibly had your Impact Monster!" His ninja friend panics, realizing his mistake as soon as Mokuba pointed it out. Seems like he still had a long way to go to catch up to his brother in terms of Buddyfighting.
"Go for it, Bal!"
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"Bal Burst Smasher!!!!"
And the attack succeds, the impact of Bal's attack reducing Akatsuki's remaining life points in record time. The young Kaiba had outplayed his opponent by anaylzing the situation and predicting what cards they may hold. Mokuba truly did learn a lot about gaming by watching his brother, and was using that knowledge even in a game his brother hadn't played. He was a Kaiba and a gamer in his own right, and his victory today was a showcase of why.
"Game End. Winner: Mokuba Kaiba."
The sound coming from Mokuba's Core Gadget, which took the form of a floating capsule akin to those found in Capsule Monsters Chess, signaling the end of the match. The effects of the fight vanished immediately as Akatsuki's Katana World flag shattered, and the proud Sun Dragon returned to his mini form in a flash of light.
"Mokuba and Bal won, bal!"
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"We sure did! We totally kicked their butt! Up top, Bal!" The raising of his hand for a high five was soon met with the dragon's own palm, both winners giggling and celebrating their victory. Mokuba really had come to get good at Gao's Scorching Sun Dragon Deck that Baku had made not too long after he met Bal. In fact, some suspected if Mokuba became more than just a casual Buddyfighter, that Bal might have become his buddy instead of Gao's.
With the dragon now atop his fluffy hair, Mokuba moves to exit the Castle's Buddyfight arena to meet his opponent and his Buddy Monster, both understandably disheartened by the loss. Noticing this, the Kaiba approaches them, offering them a friendly handshake of good sportsmanship that Bal then mimics.
"Hey, don't look so down, guys! You both played well today. If I didn't have that Green Dragon Shield in my hand on the previous turn, Byakuya's Shadow Dive mulit-attack combo would have taken the rest of my life points! Besides, I had a lot of fun playing with you guys today!"
"Bal loves Buddyfighting with Akatsuki and Byakuya, bal!" The dragon adds, his innocence and sunshine smile, along with Mokuba's kind words, seeming to improve the other's moods rather quickly. Both monster and Buddyfighter return the handshakes, a confident expression now facing Akatsuki's face.
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"Yeah
that was pretty fun! We did almost have you. But next time Mokuba, it will be us who are the winner! Big Z and I are going to go through a special training together soon! When we're finished, no one will be able to beat us!"
"I look forward to seeing the results of that training, Akatsuki."
The two boys and two monsters then both laugh together. Following his adoption, never did he celebrate a match with his opponent like this, win or lose. This change in his behavior was a sure sign that his friends, as well as Yugi Muto and his own crew, really had rubbed off on him. It
It felt good to be able to share games like this again with others. Now he just needed to get into doing them regularly with his brother, a task that seemed more impossible than one might realize.
"That was a great fight, everyone!"
The voice of Gao Mikado breaks through their laughter, Bal immediately waving to his Buddy and the others who were accompanying him. Among the group included Gao's other Buddy, Drum Bunker Dragon, in addition to Gao's two friends Baku and Kuguru. Mokuba may not be as close with the Mighty Sun Fighter's deck builder and analyst as he was with the Buddyfighter proper, but he had come to call the pair his friends in their own right.
"Gao saw Bal and Mokuba's fight, bal!?" The dragon asked, quickly jumping off from Mokuba to instead land right ontop of Gao's shoulder.
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"I sure did, buddy. You two were totally in sync out there! It was so cool to watch, and I think I may have picked up a strategy or two by watching ya!"
"I'm surprised you played the deck I made to match Gao's fight style so well, Mokuba. Call me impressed, bro." Baku adds, the compliment being a high one from a deck builder of his caliber.
"I saw no holes in your strategy, either. You took advantage of the Sun Dragon's unique skills perfectly." Kuguru then comments, pulling up her tablet to then show Mokuba the statistics she took during the match that support her claims. "Your Impact Call in particular was perfectly timed. Your attack formation and demeanor threw your opponent off from using his defensive spell prior."
"N-No need to rub it in..." The young ninja says, his expression looking disheartened. That's when he feels Byakuya gently pat his back, offering his Buddy some comfort.
"If he's getting high praise from you two, then that just proves it! Mokuba, you're an amazing Buddyfighter!"
The wave of compliments hit him hard, elating the young boy's heart. It was, after all, not a common occurrence that he was complimented for his gaming skills. Seto always took the spotlight when it came to that, and while he certainly thinks his brother is deserving of such praise, it felt good to hear it for himself too. Mokuba was a gamer in his own right, and he took pride in that fact, a pride not too dissimilar to Seto's own.
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"Keh. Would you expect anything less from me? We Kaiba's are Gamemasters, after all! Mastering multiple games is our trademark!" Mokuba says with a prideful smile and hands on his hips for a few moments, soaking in the attention. He then takes his now de-transformed Core Deck Case out of his pocket and removes the deck out of it to hand back to Gao. "But
thank you for letting me borrow your Scorching Sun Dragon deck, Gao. It's always a blast to fight with Bal!"
"You can use it anytime! You know Bal is down for it!"
"Bal wants to fight everyone with Mokuba, bal! That be the best day ever, bal! Everyone Buddyfighting together, bal!"
"Huh
" The youngest Kaiba speaks, his mind formulating an idea sparked on by the dragon's words. "You know? That isn't a bad idea, Bal. We should
We should do something to make that happen. Like
throw our own Buddyfight tournament, with the winner getting some kind of prize! That way, everyone will be playing seriously!"
"A tournament with all our friends, huh? Now that sounds interesting! I'm in!" Gao's signature grin appears on his face, matching the one Mokuba formed on his own.
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"You'd invite Big Z to this tournament too, right Mokuba?"
"Of course, Akatsuki! Can't leave you or your brother out of this! Same goes for Tasuku and Suzuha too!" Mokuba would invite his own brother if he was interested in playing the game, which he no doubt wasn't. He was too obsessed with Duel Monsters to probably even think of trying it. Besides, this kind of thing was so not Seto's vibe.
"I'd wanna invite all the best Buddyfighters you guys know, too! Like your classmates and upperclassmen, Gao! It won't be any kind of official event or anything, but I'm sure it will be fun! Plus, we can have it at my house! If
If
"
Mokuba then pauses for a moment, his expression changing from one of excitement to one that looked slightly disheartened. He takes out his phone then, staring at his home screen which contained a more recent photo of himself and Seto he took at Kaiba Land.
"If what, bal?"
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"If I can get permission from Seto, first. He needs to approve any and all social gatherings that happen at the house, whether it's something like this or even just having one person over to play games." That's why Mokuba often hung out with his friends in public places or in their own homes. The process was much easier. "On top of that, he'd probably want background checks on everyone who'd be coming over who he isn't familiar with, Buddy Monsters included. Not to mention just selling him on the idea to begin with
"
The idea did seem like it be a tough sell, considering it's size and scale. It's not like this was a promotion event or anything related to the business. This was just something he wanted to do for fun with his friends, and while Seto respected Mokuba's choice to pursue what he wished, this was
different. He would be agreeing to invite multiple strangers, a whole group of them that included monsters with supernatural abilities, into his home. It was a massive security risk, as well as a distraction.
He hates to admit it, but
as much as he wanted it to happen, he just can't see Seto agreeing to it. This reality is shown on his face, Mokuba sighing heavily in defeat before the battle even began.
"Man
That's
That's tough, Mokuba." Gao comments, gritting his teeth as he looks to the side. "He's stricter with you than my mom is with me, and that's saying something."
"Lord Seto's even stricter than Big Z is with me!" Akatsuki chimes in. "I remember when you told me he banned energy drinks from your house and at Kaiba Corp just because you drank one too many one day!"
"Never met the guy personally, but it really does sound like he's basically your dad, bro. And a very, very overprotective one at that. I think he needs to chill out a bit, if you ask me."
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Baku's comment takes Mokuba aback a few short moments, his purple hues blinking in utter confusion at the deck builder. "What
What do you mean by that, Baku? Seto isn't
isn't my dad. He's my big brother, always has been. And the stuff he does
is just what big brothers do. He's looking out for me, that's all."
"Big bros look out for their siblings, sure. But
" He then sticks a lollipop from his pocket into his mouth, Baku always being one to snack on something during almost any occasion. "I don't think it's the norm for little bros to ask their big bro for permission for everything, or for big bros to ban things from the house or want background checks on people coming into their house. Those are things that parents typically do. Gao, do you do that kind of stuff for Hana?"
"No way, Baku! That's Mom and Dad's job! I just do my part to look out for her, that's all. Though, if anything, she looks out for me! We all wouldn't get up on time if she wasn't there." Gao says, Bal and Drum nodding their heads in agreement.
"And Akatsuki, does Zanya do that kind of stuff for you?"
"Sorta
Big Z does a lot of things for me, but
he more enforces Father's rules when it comes to discipline. He
He tries to be like him when he's not around."
"And Mokuba. Isn't your big bro your legal guardian?"
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"Y-Yeah
B-But that's because
because
" The words stop coming from his mouth, Mokuba unable to find an answer. He was completely stumped here, despite always having some sort of line to say when it came to his brother.
"He's the one responsible for you? The one who is raising you? The one who goes to parent-teacher conferences? Just face it, he's essentially your dad too, bro."
Those words from the deck builder, ones that Mokuba could not understand but was unable to fight against, caused him to stare back at the picture of Seto on his phone again. To him, everything Seto had done since they were kids was normal sibling behavior. Sure, they were in different circumstances compared to other children, but all of it seemed normal to him. But
he sometimes forgets how different his life was compared to those around him, and how that shaped his worldview.
"I
I should get going. It is getting late. Don't want to cause my br-" He pauses for a moment before changing his word. "Seto to worry. I'll
I'll get back to you guys on the tournament idea. If
If it doesn't work at my place, I'm sure Suzuha can host it just fine. That girl has multiple Buddyfight arenas underground at her castle."
That's when he starts to leave the area, putting some pep in his step. His heart and mind were a bag of mixed feelings that he just couldn't comprehend right now. He only stops his exit when he hears the voice of Kuguru calling his name. Mokuba turns around then, his eyes glancing upon the analyst.
"What Baku dear said
He didn't mean it as a bad thing, right Baku?" Kuguru glances at the other with a sharpness behind her glasses, her gaze a signal that he better answer correctly.
"O-Of course not. I'm
I'm sorry if what I said upset you at all. My bad, bro. Sometimes I can be a bit too blunt
" Baku answers, taking his candy out of his mouth, his face portraying his regret. He wasn't too close with Mokuba compared to some of the others here, and if he had, he probably wouldn't have made this comment to begin with. Anyone who knew the Kaiba knew he was sensitive when it came to his brother.
"Your brother may be a bit overprotective like a parent, but what big brother isn't overprotective of their precious sibling?" Kuguru speaks, glancing over at Atatsuki and Gao.
"I can confirm Lord Zanya is very, very protective of Lord Akatsuki. Like there was this one time when someone tried to-" The words of Byakuya are then cut off as Akatsuki covers his mouth, no doubt trying to stop the chatterbox of a monster from saying something highly embarrassing.
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"Yota
protected me in his own way. Even when he was in the hospital, he did all he could to help protect my spirits and
leave me hope for the future." Gao says, sunshine hues glancing up at his hat which was a signature part of his Mighty Sun Fighter uniform, the one his mother originally made for Yota to wear. "And I try to keep that hope alive
for Hana."
Drum then steps forward from Gao's side, walking over to meet Mokuba directly. "Listen, kid. Your brother may be one of the grumpiest humans I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, but
in a lot of ways, he reminds me of how we dragons are. Not all dragons
get to be raised by their parents. I'm one of the lucky ones who has, and let me tell you, my old man is worse than your brother could ever hope to be when it comes to discipline. He threw me across worlds to train because I didn't get his stupid riddle right!"
Mokuba, and the others for that matter, start to laugh a bit at the story. Normally such a display would upset Drum, but right now, he was clearly more focused on the younger Kaiba than himself. He certainly has matured since arriving to Earth, that's for sure. His father would be proud.
"My point is that what your family looks like or what you decide to call what they do isn't what really matters. What does is that you all care about each other, take care of each other, and your brother
cares about you more than most people, monster or human, I've ever met. That's something you should treasure, kid." Drum's words are followed by a nod and smile from everyone, Baku included.
The vice president, on instinct then, moves to open his pendent, staring at the picture of his brother when they were children. Waves of memories flood back to him, of the times Seto cared for him, did everything for him. Looking back, what Seto did for him did somewhat align with what he remembers his father doing for him back when he was alive. Deep down, Mokuba could have made the connection sooner if he wanted to, but it was clear he didn't.
His father was his father. His brother was his brother.
Those were what Mokuba knew them to be and that wasn't going to change. And even if in practicality, the roles of both of those individuals overlapped in Seto's behavior following his father's death, as his friends pointed out, what was important is that Seto loved him. His love was clearly shown through his actions, including the strict ones. He had always done all he could to look out for Mokuba, and if this conversation has reminded him of anything, it was to really appreciate everything his brother goes out of his way to do for him, despite the teen not initially understanding them at the time.
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"I will." He says softly as he closes his pendant, gathering up his bag and preparing to head out. "Now, I better get going before my
big brother starts to worry about me. He can be quite the worry wort, and I don't want to be grounded! See you at school tommorow, Akatsuki! And keep an eye out for updates about the tournament, guys! I'm
I'm going to ask Seto, and maybe by some miracle, he'll actually agree to it!"
With that hopeful statement said, Mokuba takes his leave. He thought about asking Isano to drive him home, but he decided it would be faster if he ran. He
He wanted to see his big brother right now, to see him and give him a hug, a hug as a show of appreciation for all he's done for him
as a brother and beloved member of his family.
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years ago
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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