#oh and BY THE WAY. falling in love is COMPLETELY and ABSOLUTELY platonic here!!! no weirdos please | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

runariya · 2 months ago

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Crash Course in Love • 3

pairing: snowboard instructor!Jungkook x ex-gf!reader (feat. platonic OT6) genre: rom-com, Exes 2 Lovers, slow-burn, angst rating: 18+, MDNI warnings: strong language, slow burn, angst, tension, bad communication skills, heartbreak, hangover, doubts, emotional rollercoaster, fight against nature, being stranded, crying, verbal fighting and screaming, explicit sexual content, bit of dry humping, fingering, scissoring, unprotected sex, breast play, hickeys, scratch marks, love bites, lmk if I forgot smth word count: 15.3k

a/n: i'm absolutely knackered now, completely worn out. BUT it was sooooo worth it lol hope y'all enjoy it to the fullest bc next update probably won't be until the new year...sooooo...have funnnn!

a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! 💕

01 • 02 • masterlist • 04

Day 4

“Fuck.”

You think you’ve woken up in hell—it must be—because, oh god, you feel like death. Your eyes are crusted shut, and you can’t feel your legs. But as you rub the sleep out of your eyes and prop yourself up on your elbows, you realise it’s just Namjoon lying across them, snoring away.

You try to take in the room, piecing together the hazy puzzle of last night. The party, the song, you running off only to drown yourself with Yoongi and Namjoon in alcohol, throwing your own little after-party. You remember crying, remember singing your heart out to sad love songs blaring through Dionysus. What a fucking mess you’ve become…

But after all that chaos, there’s only blackness. And seeing Yoongi and Namjoon still here with you in the suite, all of you fully dressed and reeking of alcohol, tells you enough. And as you groan, not just from the bottomless pit of stupidity, but from the pounding in your head, you let yourself collapse back onto your pillow.

You fight back another wave of tears, wishing the last 24 hours could just be erased, wishing you were back at home. You fumble blindly for your phone, finding it on the nightstand nearby.

2:56 p.m.

Just brilliant. Though, at least you’re spared from spending the whole day on the slopes. Not that you’d be able to walk straight with how you’re feeling, but a win’s a win.

You need to get up, though, so you start stirring both men awake. Yoongi’s not blocking you, but if you’re up, he has to be as well. Much to your surprise, both of them wake without protest, getting themselves into a sitting position on the bed, looking like zombies straight out of The Walking Dead. You reckon you look about the same.

“Sorry,” Namjoon mumbles as you begin massaging some blood back into your legs, which feel like they’re fighting for dear life.

“S’alright,” you croak out, unable to manage much more.

“Painkillers.” Yoongi just sits there, staring at his blanket, the rise and fall of his chest the only proof he’s still alive, though barely.

You and Namjoon both nod, but no one actually moves until, eventually, Namjoon rises—slowly, hands leaving the mattress only at the last second before he somehow straightens up and makes his way to the door, though it’s anything but a straight line.

You’re the second to get up, staggering into the bathroom to wash off everything clinging to you. You’re not sure if it’s just dried sweat or a bit of alcohol still on your skin, though you have a vague memory of Tae pouring something over your back. Either way, you’re in desperate need of a full shower to feel human again.

The only upside to this hangover is that your mind has finally shut up. Every bit of energy is focused on basic bodily functions, like breathing without throwing up and blinking your bloodshot eyes now and then. You’re not even fazed when Yoongi stumbles in, taking a piss that seems to go on forever; he clearly couldn’t give a fuck, and neither can you.

When you’ve finished rinsing your hair and are wrapped in a towel that’s too soft to absorb any actual moisture, you quietly switch places with Yoongi, both of you unintentionally making a point not to make eye contact.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re still here—not just in this town but on this entire trip. There’s no real drive left in you to give Jungkook closure, no fight in you at all, and definitely no desire to ever see him again.

So, you decide to get the hell out of here. Not right this second, no, your blood alcohol is likely still sky-high and will take a nosedive soon, taking you down with it, but tomorrow, you’re leaving. It’s the healthiest thing you could do, because frankly, you lost Jungkook years ago, and that realisation sobers you up more than anything else could.

It doesn’t stir the same emotions it once did as you pull Jungkook’s old hoodie out of your luggage—or maybe you’re just too tired to care—as you tug the oversized black fabric over your head, the only comfortable thing you’d brought on this trip. Some leggings on, with your phone stuffed into the front pocket of the hoodie, you make your way to the main area, letting your eyes roam to maybe spot your missing phone case.

Jungkook’s already lounging in a single armchair, poking absently at the fire with an iron stick, his gaze tracking you as you move around the room. But you ignore him. It’s not like you’re being petty this time, and he can probably tell from your posture that you’re just not in the mood to interact at all.

You’re especially glad he doesn’t mention your—or rather, his—hoodie, and when you give up the search, realising the case isn’t lying around here either, you shuffle over to the sofa, collapsing onto it and immediately pulling out your phone. Scrolling through YouTube, you pull the hoodie’s hood down a bit further to block out Jungkook entirely, settling on a spa video promising a very satisfying blackhead extraction.

If your life’s this miserable, you’re at least going to give yourself this kind of satisfaction, even if it’s short-lived. And anyway, there are millions of similar videos waiting for you and your lonely ass.

Namjoon emerges midway through your video, nudging your legs to make space for him. You shift, but only to let your legs settle in his lap as soon as he sits down.

“Here,” he offers, handing you two painkillers, which you take like they’re sweets, chewing them up so they might kick in faster. He pulls a disgusted face, but it quickly fades—probably can’t be bothered to waste any energy as well.

“Jimin brought food,” Jungkook breaks the silence, still poking at the fire. “Should I get you some?”

You’re not sure if he’s talking to you or Namjoon, but you answer anyway. “I’m good, thanks.”

Maybe he expected a different answer, as his stick pauses for a moment, but you couldn’t care less. The chance to talk things out has passed, along with your will. It’s on him now. You’ve seen and heard enough.

“Why did you leave the party so early?” he tries again.

“It was because of me, I just—”

You cut Namjoon off; he really doesn’t need to do this for you. “Stop lying, I wanted to leave, and Namjoon and Yoongi didn’t want me to be alone.”

“Why?”

You pause your video, turning to meet Jungkook’s eyes. He’s bouncing his leg and chewing on his lip ring again, but it’s not your problem if he’s anxious or whatever. “None of your business.”

Namjoon gives your knee a slight squeeze, and while Jungkook turns his attention back to the flames like you’re the one who’s hurt him, he can go fuck himself. You’re not dealing with him right now. Not when he’s got Hara pregnant and sings love songs for her.

Yoongi enters at that moment, settling into the armchair beside Jungkook and just managing to catch the two painkillers Namjoon tosses his way.

Silence returns, and you restart your video, losing yourself in the meditative extractions.

“Can I get a haaaawyeah?!” Tae bursts into the hostel, bringing Hope and Hara with him. Three of the four present groan in agony at the sudden noise, and you’re one of them. Still, you shift to sit up, making room for them to join.

You’re not sure why Hara chooses to sit next to you, quietly handing over a takeaway box of food with that warm, familiar smile of hers—you know it’s got to be from Jin’s.

“I’m not hungry,” you mumble, the bite you had a few minutes ago already feeling like it never had been there to begin with.

“Please, eat something. Your body needs it.”

She’s right, but you can’t bring yourself to even lift the lid, staring blankly at it as if it’ll somehow reveal yet another surprise you’re not ready for. You know it’s not Hara’s fault you’re feeling like this, or that Jungkook chose her, but right now, all you can feel is bitterness, and her kindness only multiplies it.

Almost unconsciously, you glance up and find Jungkook’s eyes fixed on you, his leg still bouncing lightly, clearly tuned out from the lively conversation between the other guys.

You’ve kept this empty space in your heart reserved for him for so long, never realising he’d never fill it again. You just don’t have the energy for this anymore, the will to keep playing his game where he pulls you back into his world only to remind you you’re no longer really part of it. Not properly.

You wonder if Jungkook even realises what he’s doing, if he has any clue about how his actions come across. Or maybe he’s just as stuck as you, caught up in his patterns and too blind to see beyond them. The care and worry in his eyes when he looks at you, when he notices you making poor choices for your health—maybe, you reason, it’s just because he doesn’t know how to be any other way and nothing more.

But that’s the thing about Jungkook: he genuinely cares. And that’s why he’s going to be the best dad on this earth—just not to your children.

“I’m really not hungry.” You think you see Jungkook’s jaw tick just a bit, but he again chooses to say nothing, his gaze, though, never wavering from you.

“I didn’t mean to, but damn, that woman was something else,” Tae bursts, sprawled on the floor in front of you, accidentally nudging your knee as he laughs with the others.

“Who?” you ask, trying to tune into the conversation just to get away from the other.

“That woman who was sitting by the bar all night. Tae pulled her,” Hope bursts out laughing, especially at your disgusted, shocked face.

“Was she any good?” Namjoon inquires, like it’s the most normal thing to ask about a one-night stand.

“What can I say? She taught me things I didn’t even know existed.”

Yep, that info’s enough to make you gag for real, and judging by Yoongi and Jungkook’s expressions, they’re feeling the same.

“Want some?” you offer Yoongi the box, hoping to steer the conversation away from…whatever this is. But he just shakes his head, clearly not ready to risk upsetting his stomach as well.

He’s pale as it is, and you can see the colour drain from his already bloodshot eyes at the sight of food. Poor man.

“Jungkook, you hungry?” Hara offers softly, and you can’t help but glance at him again.

His bouncing leg stills the instant she speaks to him. And even though it’s true—Jungkook can eat like a bottomless pit, never saying no to food—you don’t really want to interact with him right now. But, some things haven’t changed at all it seems, like you not being able to say no when it comes to him.

Jungkook looks at you with those big, hopeful eyes, as if to say just eat it yourself—he’d never, like all those years ago, take food from you when it’s clear you’re barely eating yourself. But you just can’t, and with that, you get up, lean over the small coffee table separating you both, and offer him the box with both hands, a small, shaky smile on your face.

Jungkook stands up too, reaching for the food between you. You think he’ll just take it, but his hands cover yours, brushing over them until they settle on the container, and then, finally, he takes it. It catches you off guard, not just because he touched you first and not the box, but because it was absolutely deliberate.

Why he did it, you don’t know, but all you can think about is getting away fast before all your bottled-up emotions explode in your face.

“Can…uh…can someone drive me to the nearest petrol station?” you ask, standing there rooted to the spot, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment as everyone looks up at you.

Jungkook’s half a mind to put the box back on the table and get up again, but Hope springs up from his spot beside Taehyung, fishing his keys from his pocket. “I’ve got you.”

“Thanks, I’ll just get ready.” You cast him a quick, grateful look and head to your room, eyes down.

Hope just saved you there, because if Jungkook had offered to drive, you don’t know what you’d have done. Sure, you want him to be happy—you’re not some heartless person who wishes bad things on people, especially those who are…were…close to you.

But what about your happiness? Don’t you deserve to find peace too? To protect yourself? So yes, you’ll take every bit of help you can get, even if it’s just a lift to the petrol station.

You didn’t mean to startle so violently when you turned to close the suite door, but honestly, you hadn’t even heard Hara following you, moving soundlessly like a ghost.

“C…can I help you?” You’re gripping the door until your knuckles turn white under your sweater paws, the door not even fully open anymore.

“Can I come in?”

It’s like something out of a nightmare, knowing you can’t turn her away just because Hara’s never done anything to hurt you. You have to remind yourself again and again that she’s not the villain here, chanting it silently in your head, trying to drown out the hurt that won’t go away whenever you look at her.

So, you nod, opening the door a bit wider, then turn around to let her in and busy yourself with “looking” for your phone case, just so you don’t have to face her.

“Are you okay?”

Her words break through the sound of the bedding as you give it a shake, hoping your case might fall out, but of course it doesn’t. Just like the right answer isn’t coming to you now, not to her question.

Maybe you’re okay, as okay as you can be. Maybe you’re not. Either way, you’re definitely not making her your therapist—not when she’s involved in all this stupid mess.

“Yeah, sure. Are you?”

“Yeah, the sickness finally went away. I just hope I start to show soon—it’s getting weird at this point.”

You move around the room, checking every corner, stopping only when you spot an edge of your phone case outside on the porch, half-buried in the snow beside the jacuzzi.

“How far along are you?”

“Seventeenth week…we’ll find out the gender soon.” There’s a subtle cheer in her voice that makes your heart soften for a moment.

It must be incredible to be expecting, especially to finally know the baby’s gender and go a bit mad with shopping. You’re sure you’d be the same, and Hara likely will be, too.

You glance her way, offering a small, warm smile before opening the door to the porch. “Got a feeling what it’ll be?”

Hara comes closer to the door as you step outside, staying in the warmth while leaning against the frame. “Yes? No? Maybe?” She laughs. “Some days I swear it’s a boy, and then others I’m convinced it’s a girl. Tomorrow’s the appointment, so…I hope mini-me reveals its gender and isn’t shy.”

You giggle, fishing the icy case out of the snow and brushing off the clinging flakes. As you come back inside, Hara moves aside, settling herself on the edge of the bed while you grab a discarded shirt of Yoongi’s to dry the case off.

“Hey…uh…I don’t quite know how to start this, but…I know you’re not doing alright.”

The glance you throw her way is wary rather than hostile, but still, you don’t want a pep talk from her.

“Please, just talk to each other.”

Biting your lip, you really don’t want to say anything. Yes, you probably should talk to Jungkook, but then again, maybe you shouldn’t. He’s had countless chances to say something, to open up if he had any thoughts at all—and he’s used none of them. Not even when you broke up with him. He stayed silent, like he is now.

Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk, not really, and you’re done waiting and being the one to start things.

“There’s nothing left to talk about. But I appreciate your concern.”

Hara just nods, staring down at the floor, rubbing her hands together between her knees while you pull on your coat and tuck your phone safely into its case.

“It’s a nice case. Did you paint it yourself?”

You glance at your phone, rubbing your thumb over the faded paint that was once so bright. You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of it after the breakup, even though it reminds you of everything good about your time with Jungkook. Maybe there’s some masochistic streak in you that wants to punish yourself for everything you did and didn’t do. Maybe it’s time to let go of all the memories that keep pulling you back to a time that’s long gone.

“No.” You sigh, tucking it away in your coat pocket with your purse and heading to the door. You pause with your hand on the handle, checking to see if Hara’s following, which she is. She’s right behind you again, and this time, you just let out a startled scream internally, hoping you don’t flinch too visibly.

Opening the door, you let her pass first, just to keep her in your sight this time, but as soon as you’re near the entrance to the main area, she stops, raising a hand. You give her a puzzled look, but she only points to one of her ears, so you lean in, trying to make out what’s being said.

First, you catch the voices of Taehyung and Namjoon, Taehyung’s voice too loud and distinct not to notice. But when you listen a bit harder, you pick up Hope and Jungkook having a different conversation, probably a little further from the others.

“I know! I know you’re a good driver. Just…”

“Just? C’mon, what’s going on with you, C?”

“Just… take care of her, okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re acting like I’m some boy who’s just got his licence and can’t be trusted—”

The rustling of your coat drowns out the rest of their conversation as you step into the room, deciding not to eavesdrop any longer. You glance around briefly, and of course, Jungkook’s eyes find yours again, but you quickly turn towards Yoongi, resting your hands on his shoulders from behind where he’s still slouched on the one-seater. He wraps his hand around your wrist, his thumb gently brushing over your pulse.

“Why was my case out in the snow?” you murmur into his ear, which earns a lazy laugh from him. He peeks over his shoulder at you, his voice still raspy from his hangover as he murmurs back.

“You thought you could yeet it away and be done with it.”

Your cheeks go warm again; drunk-you is really ridiculous in every possible way. You’re just grateful it was only Namjoon and Yoongi who saw your breakdown, and no one else.

“Right.”

“Stay safe, yeah?”

He gives your wrist a gentle squeeze, and when your eyes meet again, even though his are still glassy from last night’s antics, there’s that quiet care in them only real family can have.

“I will. Thanks for being there for me, Yoongs.” You press a quick kiss to his head and give him a brief squeeze around his shoulders, only for him to dramatically fake his own demise.

Straightening up, you meet Hope’s eyes, give him a quick nod, and head towards the door. Jungkook moves with the two of you, holding the door open without taking his eyes off you. His gaze is so intense that you can’t keep eye contact, mumbling a quiet, hurried “thanks” and “bye” as you follow Hope to his car.

You wouldn’t have thought Hope would drive a brand-new car, especially a vibrant red one. You wonder if an equipment rental shop really makes that much of a profit or if everyone in this town is just batshit rich. At least you’ll be safe—much safer than you’d be with Tony.

“So, how long’s the drive?” you ask, taking in the car’s interior while buckling up in the passenger seat. You notice the soft leather under your bum and the chrome trim around the touchscreen on the console.

“Maybe twenty or thirty minutes, depends on whether the roads are clear or still covered in snow.”

You hum in acknowledgment, tucking your hands under your thighs—not only because they’re still cold from the short walk outside, but also to avoid the urge to touch anything and risk breaking something you’d never be able to replace.

The car’s rolling down the steep hill you came from a few days ago in no time, and Hope’s both hands are steady on the wheel, which helps you relax in your seat. He’s definitely a good driver, like Yoongi, Jungkook, or your dad—the kind you can actually relax around without fearing for your life.

“So…would you be a kind soul and tell me what you’re all talking about in that group chat, especially about me?”

Of course you had to ask—why wouldn’t you, now that you’re alone with someone who’s clearly in on the whole scheme?

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”

“Dunno…maybe because of Namjoon.”

“Oh, I’m not scared of him.” Hope laughs heartily, but his eyes don’t stray from the dark, snow-covered road ahead.

“Sooo…?”

“So, you should just talk to C. That’s what we’re all talking about.”

“Wow, wouldn’t have thought of that.”

“So why’re you asking if that’s not the answer you wanted?”

You fall silent.

“Listen. You and C are both hurting. And the only way forward is for you both to learn how to communicate properly, aka talk to each other.”

“There’s really nothing left to talk about.”

“Why’s that?”

“He’s clearly moved on, no?”

Like, duh.

“Has he now?”

Duh?…

“Yeah, with Hara…and the baby on its way.”

Were you wrong all this time? It can’t be.

“Oh, boy…”

“Don’t ‘oh boy’ me.”

“Why do you think he’s with Hara?”

You’re trying not to show how hard it is to think clearly in your state, but the time it takes you to respond says it all. “It’s obvious.”

“Is it? Because it sounds like you’re seeing things how you want to, not how they actually are.”

“Rude.”

“It’s true.”

“You’re really forward for someone I barely know.”

“We’re not strangers, __.” Hope side-eyes you pointedly, making you scoot a tiny bit deeper into your seat.

“Basically, we are.”

“No, we’re not friends yet, but we’re not strangers either.”

So what does this mean for you and Jungkook? He’s not exactly a friend anymore, but he’s not a stranger either. Or…maybe he is. God, your brain feels like it’s about to explode any minute now.

“People change, Hope. Jungkook’s changed.”

Hope lets a short silence settle between you, his fingers tapping softly against the leather wheel as if he’s thinking about what to say next. Only now do you realise there’s no sound from the engine, and you clock that he’s driving an electric car—even though he lives in the mountains, in the cold.

“Have you?”

You’re half-tempted to just say yes, but is that really true? You’re not sure. Maybe you’ve matured a bit, but not enough to feel like a different person. What you do know for sure is that any growth you might have had stopped the moment you left Jungkook. You’ve been so caught up in trying to heal and be someone you’re not that you haven’t really evolved into the person you could have been.

Anything really—maybe a better person, but somehow still the same you. So, what have you become in the last few years? Are you the same? Or not quite?

“Not sure.”

Hope just nods, not as if he’s simply acknowledging what you said, but as if he already knew your answer. It’s uncanny how much talking to him reminds you of Yoongi, both of them having that same no-bullshit approach.

“Listen, I’m not here to play mediator,” yep, definitely like Yoongi, “nor are the others. You need to talk to him, get things sorted before it’s too late.”

“What if it’s already too late?”

“I don’t think so.”

“You’re so positive.” You whine pathetically.

“And you’re a chronic pessimist.” He mimics you.

“I’m just cautious.” You pull your hands from under your thighs and throw them in the air, more to get your point across than anything.

“No, you’re scared of what might never happen.”

Ouch. But he’s not…not right.

“I’m not. I’m doing snowboarding now, aren’t I?”

“So why are we heading to the nearest petrol station if you’re meant to be snowboarding all week?”

You shut your mouth and slide your hands back under your thighs, as if that might help you disappear. Maybe you weren’t as subtle as you thought, and not only Hope but everyone else—including Jungkook—has seen right through you. Is that why Hara wanted to talk to you earlier? Urging you to finally talk to Jungkook?

“Gotcha,” Hope giggles slightly, though when he sees your sad pout, he reaches over to give your knee a quick squeeze before returning his hand to the wheel.

“Alright, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” Okay, maybe not exactly like Yoongi. “But from what I’ve seen and heard, you liked snowboarding. And I’d say you probably enjoyed everything else you’ve done before, too.” He glances over at you. “Correct me if I’m wrong.”

You just give a noncommittal shrug.

“You need to trust yourself and your capabilities a bit more. Start having faith in the positive outcomes, not just the negative ones, yeah? You’ll never be able to live without fear if you overthink everything…especially things with Jungkook.”

Your pout deepens, a light sheen of tears coating your lashes, which you tell yourself are just from the hangover crashing down on you now, not from facing the uncomfortable truth of your very persona.

“I know it’s hard, ___. But sometimes thinking the worst makes it real, even though the outcome could’ve been different if you’d just had a bit more faith.”

“Are you talking about snowboarding or Jungkook?”

“Both.” He giggles again, and you can’t help but join in, sniffing your nose a little.

When just then another small town and the petrol station come into view, you straighten up in your seat, realising you’d been slouching more and more throughout the drive.

Even though you’re not looking forward to stepping outside into the cold, you’re glad for a bit of a cooldown, just to ease your exhaustion.

Hope parks his car right next to the petrol pump, and as soon as he turns it off, you both get out and head to the boot where two big empty canisters are waiting.

“Here, I’ll go to the one right behind this one.” He offers you one of the canisters, and while you take it, you’re still confused.

“I only need one, though.”

He’s already unscrewed his, pumping petrol as he leans to the side to look at you.

“Yeah, this one’s for me.”

You’re still confused, but you start filling your canister anyway.

“Isn’t your car electric?”

“Yeah, but I need emergency petrol for the generator in case there’s an outage and the baby’s coming.”

You freeze. Is Hope…? Oh god, you were so wrong all this time. Relief floods through you, so intense that tears spring to your eyes. Jungkook’s not the baby daddy.

“You’re Hara’s baby daddy?” you squeak.

“Gosh, no!”

And now you think you might throw up, the tears shifting back to the heartbreak of yesterday.

“Areum, my wife, she’s seven months pregnant. You missed her yesterday with your epic escape.”

“Oh. Uh, congratulations.”

But you only hear a snort from behind the pump.

Not wanting to fill the canister completely, you settle on half, afraid you might not have enough left in your bank account. You’re not exactly broke, but you’re worried your employer hasn’t transferred your pay on time. Again.

“I’m off to pay,” you mumble as you pass Hope and head into the small, warm station, where a young teenager plagued with acne stands behind the counter, his eyes barely lifting from his phone throughout your whole exchange.

“Your card’s declined, miss.”

The remaining colour drains from your face at his words. This really can’t be happening.

“Could you…could you try again, please?”

The teenager just rolls his eyes, and if you weren’t so mortified, you’d probably give him some shit for being so rude. But again, the familiar sound of your card being declined fills the little station, and when he hands your card back, you just mumble, “Just a second, please,” before stepping to the far corner by the cooling systems and getting your phone out.

And sure enough, your banking app shows you’re completely drained. Fuck. So there’s only one option left, then.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up.”

“Yo,” Yoongi grumbles, and you’re pretty sure you can hear Jungkook’s panicked voice in the background, asking what’s happened.

“I need your help,” you whisper, glancing over at the teenager to check if he can hear, but he’s already engrossed in his phone again.

“What do you need?”

“I’m short on cash. I can’t pay—”

“Why?”

Yoongi’s tone isn’t accusatory in the slightest, just genuinely surprised. Hope comes into the station now too, cocking a brow at you, which you try to ease with a shaky smile.

“My employer’s late with my pay. Again. And the trip and, uh…it all just…”

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi says, flat, almost monotone, but you know he feels awful now, realising you’re actually struggling, not just joking around. It’s not his fault though; you never talk about money, and maybe he’s apologising not just because he let you pay for everything, but because you haven’t had these conversations before.

“S’alright. Can you just transfer some money quickly so I can—”

“Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

You hear him sigh—one that says, Don’t make this a thing now. Hope’s already paid for his, waiting by the door with his hands in his pockets, scanning some nearby magazines.

Knowing not to waste any more time, you hang up, open your banking app again, and refresh it every few seconds until there it is: a transfer of ten fucking thousand dollars from Yoongi, with the note, Should’ve told me sooner.

You make a mental note to give him a piece of your mind regarding the sum later as you pay for the petrol, and dash out of the station, dragging Hope with you to escape the embarrassment as soon as possible.

“Slow down, will you?”

You let go of his arm once you’re by his car, rubbing your hands over your face in frustration as you mumble, “Sorry. God, I’m such a mess.”

“Come on, we’ll talk in the car. I just wanna get home.”

And you do, silently, closing your eyes as the car winds through the woods back the way you came.

You know Hope doesn’t want to pressure you, but you want to talk about it, just because bottling it up any longer would fry your brain.

“My employer still hasn’t transferred my pay,” you mumble. “I had to call Yoongi to borrow money.”

Hope lets out a long breath through his nose, shaking his head slowly as he listens.

“Again, as in this isn’t the first time?”

“Yeah, as in he owes me several thousand dollars by now.”

“Thousands?”

You tap your knuckle against the window, doing a quick mental tally of how much has piled up since you started working for this guy. “About fifty. Maybe a bit more.”

“No. Fucking. Way.” Hope glances over at you with each word, then back to the road. “___, that’s insane. Fifty thousand?! Why haven’t you sued him? Or quit?”

“I…” Yeah, good question. “I actually don’t know.”

It’s not like it’s a brilliant job worth hanging on to, but working from home has its perks, and finding another role in your field? That’s practically impossible without connections, which you definitely don’t have, seeing as you work from home and have done for years.

“You’re an accountant, yeah?”

“How do you know?” you ask, stopping your gentle tapping against the window to look over at his profile.

“Oh, who d’you think told me?” He gives you a side-eye, looking slightly annoyed, and you just nod. “Areum’s an accountant too. She works for PwC, all remote. They’re looking for someone to cover her on maternity leave, and she gets to pick who fills in for her, soooo…”

“Sooo…?”

“Woman, I’m not spelling it out for you. You’re not that thick.”

Ouch. “Hey! Stop being so rude to me.”

“Then stop acting daft when you’re not.”

God, you want to strangle him. No wonder he gets along so well with Yoongi. You thought he was just this little ray of sunshine with that stupid bright laugh, but he’s feisty as hell.

“I’ll think about it,” you mumble, knowing decisions like this aren’t made right now, especially as the painkillers wear off and your mind’s about to shut down along with your eyelids.

Eventually, sleep takes over, and if you’re honest, you don’t bother fighting it.

“___, wake up.” Hope’s voice and the gentle push of his hand against your shoulder rouse you not long after. And even though sleeping, even just a bit, should have done you some good, you feel worse after a fifteen-minute nap.

Reluctantly, you straighten in your seat, trying to wake up properly, and smack your lips to get the awful taste off your tongue, but it’s no use. You’ll need to brush your teeth as soon as you’re in the suite—there’s no way around it.

“Thanks for driving me,” you rasp, glancing out of the windscreen to see Jungkook hopping from one foot to the other in the cold, his breath rising in small clouds in front of him. “What’s he doing outside?”

“He’s waiting for you.”

“Oh.”

It’s a mystery why Jungkook would do that, seeing as you’re clearly not on good terms. You’ve been trading jabs and whatnot with every interaction, so the fact that he’s not fed up by now is really baffling.

“I’m heading straight home if that’s okay.”

“Oh. Sure, yes, of course, sorry.” You unbuckle your seatbelt, knowing you shouldn’t overstay your welcome, especially as Hope is snickering again. “Thanks again and goodnight.”

“Goodnight. And…talk to him.”

Well, you don’t really have a choice now. Especially when, after closing the passenger door, you walk to the boot to get your half-empty canister, only to find Jungkook already beside you.

“Here, let me help.”

He doesn’t meet your eyes this time, which feels strange after he spent all afternoon staring at you.

“I’ve got this.”

You heft the canister out of the boot and start walking straight to Tony to fill him up, letting the canister rest by your legs, you wave Hope off as he drives away, then clear the side of Tony of snow.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook stands beside you, arms crossed, chest puffed out. He looks intimidating—hotly so—but you’re still pissed and very much not in the mood for a chat.

“What does it look like?”

He just shrugs with a smirk, and as you finish clearing the snow, you realise you’ve done the wrong side of Tony.

How embarrassing.

“Don’t say anything.”

And he doesn’t, aside from a quiet snicker as he follows you to the other side, where you finally start clearing the right bit of snow. This time, you find the cap and pull out your car keys to open it.

Ignoring your wishes, Jungkook picks up the canister and starts pouring the petrol into the car, biting his lip piercings again.

“Talk,” you snap, wanting to get this over with—whatever it is that’s bothering him so much he’s biting his lip bloody.

Jungkook glances briefly at you, and while you’ve seen that sad expression on him countless times, it still stings.

“Why did you leave?”

You sigh, glance towards the hostel, and look back at him. “When? When I broke up with you? On the slope yesterday? From the party? Or to the petrol station?”

Alright, it sounded cooler in your head, but you’re now realising you might have a bit of a tendency to run off. Oops.

“All of them, I guess.” He muses, shutting the cap and screwing the canister lid back on as he turns to you fully.

“Jungkook, that’s a conversation I’m not having with you right now.”

“And when would be the best time for it?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe not outside, not in the middle of the night, not when I’m batshit hungover, and especially not when you’ve built a new life for yourself.”

That last bit wasn’t really what you wanted to say, but it slipped out anyway, the perfect proof that it’s indeed not the best time.

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s not fair for you to treat me like this, Jungkook. I’m not doing this anymore.”

You turn while watching him run a hand through his hair, then stomp through the deep snow towards the hostel to stop yourself freezing out here.

“Stop running away!”

“I’m not running away. I’m going to bed. You should too.”

Jungkook catches the door at the last second and steps into Dionysus right behind you.

“You are running away.”

You turn to face him sharply, causing him to nearly bulldoze into you, but he catches himself in time, stepping back a bit with his hands on his hips, still clutching the canister in his reddened hand.

“Why did you need petrol for Tony, who’s been out of it for days? Why now?”

You purse your lips, mirroring his stance instinctively, staring each other down. You’re stubborn, but so is he, and you’re not backing down. He wants to start a fight? See who breaks first? See if you’re really running away from him? Well, you’ll prove him wrong.

“Safety. Caution. Responsibility. Take your pick.”

There’s a familiar glint in his eyes—the one that says he knows you’re bullshitting him. God, you’ve missed this. Missed him.

“So, not fleeing the scene, hm?”

“Not fleeing the scene.”

And you’re not. Change of plans: you’re staying. You’ll stay, and you’ll whoop his ass by becoming the best snowboarder on the planet.

Jungkook just nods, and you nod back.

Usually, this would be the moment he’d tackle you and fuck the truth out of you in no time. And though you can vividly picture it, you need to keep your distance. So before the tension builds too much, before Jungkook becomes too much, you stop nodding and let your arms drop to your sides.

“Goodnight, Jungkook.”

He mirrors your stance, and though his eyes dim with that usual sadness, you refuse to see it as longing. Because why would he?

“Goodnight, ___.”

You nod, and while you can’t quite tear yourself away from his gaze, you eventually turn and head up to your suite, finding Yoongi already silently and fast asleep, you can’t help but to leave a tiny gap in the door, just enough to watch as Jungkook disappears into his own room.

Day 5

You feel good.

No, scratch that—you feel absolutely pumped, energised, and oh-so-ready for the day. There’s a wild fire blazing through your veins, just waiting to be unleashed, and you’re absolutely down for it.

Sitting alone in the dining room after that little talk with Yoongi about the sum he transferred to your bank account, only to be met with an eye roll in response, you’re busy preparing the most protein-packed breakfast Namjoon’s buffet has on offer. You’ll definitely need it—not just because your body’s craving nutrients, but because your brain needs to be at its best so you can finally beat Jungkook at his own game.

No, not with his petty remarks and actions, but by getting your answers with carefully placed, strategically even, questions so he doesn’t even realise you’re grilling him. You’re brilliant, so of course you can pull this off. The sulky victim era of ___ is over—here comes the new, improved you.

Though, if you’re honest, you know there’s a pretty decent chance that Jungkook might catch on to your plan. He’s always been good at that, always been just as brilliant as you. But his competitive side usually has you beat by the end of the day. But not today. Today, you’re determined to win.

Especially when the man himself strolls in, looking sinfully good. His hair’s damp, falling messily over his forehead and eyes, while his thin white shirt hangs loosely off his shoulders, clinging slightly to his skin where he didn’t dry off properly.

“Morning, Kook,” you chirp, practically singing it, intentionally calling him by the nickname you lovingly gave him all those years ago.

Jungkook slows his steps, one eyebrow raised and lips pursed. The confusion’s painted all across his face exactly as you’d hoped. Excellent.

“Morning.” He stops at your table, glancing at the empty chairs next to you and opposite you, and when he takes the one right beside you, you’re doing a little celebratory dance on the inside.

“Did you sleep well, Kook?” He eyes you as he gets his plate ready, and while he answers, you take a small bite of your food, your overly cheerful grin firmly in place.

“Uh, yeah, did you?”

“Of course! Snuggly kept me company all night.”

The confusion in Jungkook’s eyes deepens, and you’d give anything to know what’s running through his head right now. You keep your face just as innocent and cheerful as possible, though it’s getting harder by the second.

“So, what’ve you been up to these past five months?” If your math’s right, Hara’s now a little over four months along. So, if Jungkook was around back then, you’ve got your answer.

“Five months?” He raises an eyebrow again, biting into the sandwich he’s just thrown together. There’s far more ham than bread—probably more to keep his hands clean than for actual taste.

“Yeah, where’ve you all been, then?”

“Uh,” Jungkook chews, blinking at you. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure you out. “I’ve been to Bangkok, Hawaii, and, uh… before that, I was here for a few months.”

No. Fucking. Way. So all those mixed signals, not only from Jungkook but all his friends too, weren’t so mixed after all.

“This town’s pretty small. Is there anything exciting to do off-season?”

“Well, Hara had a huge birthday celebration. So there was that.”

“Hara’s birthday’s in August?”

“Yeah, why?”

So he gave her a baby for her birthday. How pathetic it makes you feel, realising you’ve been too busy being still his to fall for someone new all this time. But you don’t let the heartbreak show this time. You swallow it down because shutting down won’t help you now.

“Just asking.”

Jungkook just nods again, still contemplating your words, trying to read your motives like he always does, though you’re as blank as can be beneath your smile. It’s not that you’ve lost your determination to get through snowboarding—no, you’re way too competitive and stubborn to back down now. Still, you kind of wish you were as drunk as you’d been two days ago.

The upside of being fully sober again is that you feel fantastic. Physically, anyway. The downside is that your brain won’t shut up.

You vividly remember the night you ended things, the exhaustion, the desperation in your every word as you tried to explain yourself to him. It wasn’t that you didn’t love him; you did and you still do, maybe even more than you should. But back then, you’d grown tired of always feeling like you weren’t enough, of feeling like you were someone he didn’t really need.

You’d always been the one to soothe your doubts on your own, to make excuses for him and his choices, to tell yourself it was just a phase, that he’d eventually grow out of it—that he’d grow out of it for you. Not that he’d never do anything risky again, but just enough for him to see that some things are too dangerous to try.

Losing him was completely your fault, you know that, and even though he’s going to be a dad—even if it’s not your child—you’d crawl back to him in a heartbeat if there were any chance. Not that you’d ever be a homewrecker; that’s something you’d never do, and you’ll respect any relationship on earth as it is. But if he’s only going to be a father, if he’s only co-parenting with Hara and they’re not together, you’d try to make it work somehow.

Or maybe you’re just delusional, thinking you’d be okay with him having a kid that’s not yours. Because deep down, the thought of him being with someone else after you—even if you weren’t together anymore—makes you want to throw up. Not just because picturing it is one of your worst nightmares, but because all the love declarations he made, and will probably make again in that scenario, would be empty in their truest form. At least in your eyes.

There’s nothing you can do about it; it’s not like you’re some grandma who thinks virginity before marriage is a must. But if he was with you and says he’d want to be with you again, there’s no chance if he had someone else in between.

Jungkook sniffs beside you, and you’re not exactly proud that, since learning he’s staying here at the hostel too, you’ve kept spare napkins nearby, just like the good old days, and you’re not proud as you hand him one with a small smile, still chewing, knowing his rhinitis is worst in the morning.

“Thanks,” he’s smiling, though there’s still that look of doubt in his eyes, as if he’s still trying to work out what you’re up to. “So, how about you?”

You’ve half a mind to exaggerate again, but you know you’ll need to save your energy today, especially since you’re spending the whole day with Jungkook. So you stick to the truth. “Nothing really. Mostly work, and a few activities I’ve tried.”

“It’s weird.”

“What is?”

“You doing all that stuff.”

Jungkook doesn’t look as accusatory as he did the first day; this time, he actually looks…sad.

“Didn’t you want me that way?” You keep your tone light, friendly even, but deep down, that old pettiness rises to the surface.

“No.” The word slips from his lips without a moment’s hesitation, his sad eyes fixed on yours, and suddenly, you can’t breathe. It just doesn’t make sense.

“I…why?”

He slowly swallows his last bite and reaches for his coffee, just to toy with the rim of the mug. Then he lifts his gaze to meet yours, boring into your irises as if to tell you more than he’s actually saying. “That’s not you.”

You just stare at him, trying to understand why he’d want you to change all those years ago, only to now tell you, indirectly, he doesn’t like the person he’d pushed you to become. No words form in your brain, again too overwhelmed by it all, so you just nod, because quite honestly, he’s right. It’s not who you are, even if some of the less riskier activities, like snowboarding, turned out to be more fun than you’d expected.

Jungkook doesn’t seem to handle the silence well as you quietly finish your meal, as his leg starts bouncing under the table again, occasionally brushing against yours. You’re sure he doesn’t even notice it, but you do and while you think about shifting your leg slightly away, that faint touch of his somehow soothes the intense longing you have for him.

How many times you’ve thought about calling him, only to remind yourself he was the one who let you go without a word, is beyond counting now. Trying to count would be like trying to reach infinity without breaking down as the despair catches up to you and you simply can’t do either.

You need, with all your might, to pull your mind out of this endless void and focus on the good. You’re able to have a normal conversation with Jungkook. He’s fine. You’re fine. And if you can make it through these next two weeks, you tell yourself that you’ll be fine too, even if it’s without him. Because that countdown in your head has shifted—from thinking you’ve got time to work things out, to savouring these last moments with him as much as possible, hoping to make memories you can hold onto as fondly as the ones you made all those years ago.

“So, today’s blue slope day?”

Jungkook nods with a smirk, eyes still on his cup, clearly lost in thought. “Yeah. You ready?”

“Sure. I was born ready.”

The snort that escapes him mirrors your own, letting the sadness fade into that playful light in his eyes you’ve always adored when he finally looks back up to you.

“Then let’s head out, shall we?”

“Yes, sir!” You salute playfully, downing the rest of your or rather his iced Americano—sneakily poured into a regular mug—in one go and standing as soon as Jungkook does.

It doesn’t take long for you both to get fully geared up and leave the hostel, Jungkook closing the usual distance between you by walking much closer than he has on any of the previous days, though you welcome it this time.

“Give me your board.” Jungkook stretches out his free hand towards you when you’re just a few feet away from Dionysos.

“I can handle it.”

“I know you can. But you don’t have to.”

Wondering whether you’re about to be stubborn again, you decide to let him help you. It’s a nice gesture, and knowing his strength—which has clearly grown over the last few years—it’s no bother for him to carry your snowboard too. So you hand it to him, mumbling a small, grateful “thanks” and fall into step with him, the rustling of your gear and the dull thud of your boots the only sounds breaking the otherwise silent streets.

“It’s such a lovely day.” You marvel at the first rays of sunlight shining down, making the snow-covered streets steam ever so slightly, looking straight out of a fantasy.

The town’s not fully awake yet; a few people are setting up their displays outside, greeting you both with warm smiles and friendly faces. It’s easy being here, so welcoming when you ignore the chaos that’s crashed down on you since you arrived.

You’d like to imagine living here, spending the rest of your life in this place with Jungkook, befriending his friends too, all in some alternate universe. You daydream about a winter wedding, teaching your kids how to build a snowman, and everything else.

It would be nice, it would be perfect. Because in that universe, you’d still be with Jungkook, and you’d be not only happy but fulfilled.

“It is, the slopes should be perfect too.”

A small group of kindergarteners crosses your path just before the slopes, and as your gaze drifts from them to the shop windows behind, you catch the reflection of you and Jungkook side by side. He’s looking at the kids, full of adoration, with that same endearing smile you fell in love with all those years ago.

His hair’s just as shiny and healthy, his eyes sparkling in that familiar way. You’ve always known how much Jungkook wants a family—he always has, just as you always did. It’s one of the reasons you connected so quickly. His values and hopes for the future aligned so perfectly with yours that falling for him and picturing a life together was almost inevitable.

You knew back then that having different hobbies wasn’t the most important thing in a relationship, that differences in those areas wouldn’t decide its downfall. But somehow, you both let those differences take centre stage.

It wasn’t just poor communication that damaged things; you lost sight of what truly mattered, letting the good become tainted with doubt, trust begin to crack, and your hearts bleed in ways they never should have.

Standing there now, side by side, you realise that everything that happened, the way you both handled things, was so unnecessarily foolish. You wish you’d made different choices. You look perfect together, like one of those couples you see and just know they’re meant to be, like they’re soulmates, like they’re fated.

Jungkook’s eyes lift up, catching yours in the window, and his smile grows just a bit wider. There’s still that adoration there—or is it just nostalgia? Or maybe it’s the inner peace he feels, knowing he’ll soon have a child of his own? You’re not sure, and you’re afraid to let yourself think too deeply about it. Because, honestly, if it’s anything but adoration, you’d spiral so much, so irrevocably, that you might just break all over again.

Switching your board to his other hand, where he’s already holding his own, he lifts his now free arm and wraps it over your shoulder, pulling you into his side. Your head doesn’t even reach his eyes, and your shoulder aligns perfectly with his arm, like you’re a puzzle piece fitting into him. You can’t help the broad smile that breaks over your face when he says, “I’m glad you’re here.”

You turn away from the window, tilting your head up to look into his beautiful brown eyes, taking in this small, pure moment that you’ll lock away in the deepest parts of your heart and cherish for the rest of your life. “Me too.”

Simple moments like these with Jungkook have always been so beautiful. It’s always been like this, just the two of you in a bubble where nothing else matters. The ache in your heart should ease in moments like this, but instead, it grows, the longing building until it’s nearly unbearable.

How perfect it would feel to kiss him now, how your heart and soul would sing if he kissed you back. The realisation—the overwhelming certainty—that he truly was the one for you hits you like an avalanche, burying you so deeply you’ll never find a way out.

Still, you turn your face away, and he lets you go.

“Let’s get it.” Jungkook cheers, and you echo his words, because you don’t know what else to say, walking side by side to the lift. Thankfully, this time without any annoying interruptions from his fangirls.

The first ride up in the ski gondola is equal parts terrifying and beautiful. The trees below look like miniature toys, and the mountain peaks seem too stunning to be real, like a picture painted by an artist. The gondola is empty except for the two of you, Jungkook sitting across from you, both of you gazing outside. But every now and then, you can’t help glancing at his reflection.

Jungkook talks the entire way up, going over everything you should know about snowboarding by now. His calm voice, his solid presence right in front of you, and his patient review of the basics settle the last of your nerves, along with Hope’s words, still ringing loudly in your mind.

Fear is faith in the negative.

And you don’t want to live like that again—not now, and not when it’s just snowboarding. You trust your own abilities, and you trust Jungkook to keep you safe, like he always has. Well, aside from that one camping incident—but you’ll turn a blind eye to that for now. You have to, because one lapse in his judgement all those years ago shouldn’t undo everything else he’s proven to you.

The morning is spent making descent after descent, each one becoming easier and more fun, especially with Jungkook staying close. You manage to fall less and less, and when you do, he’s always right there, reaching out to help you back on your feet.

And while you’re laughing and joking like old times, it feels as if no time has passed at all.

Just before lunch, you both find yourselves back at the gondola, though this time it’s a different one.

“There’s this restaurant way up there.” Jungkook points into the distance, and you squint, trying to follow his finger, but the sun is too bright to make out exactly where he’s pointing. “The food’s amazing, and we’ll be able to take a way longer run down. It’ll build your stamina and get you ready for the harder slopes tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.” You smile at him, excited not only for the food but also for the chance to push yourself a bit more.

When you step into the gondola with a few others, it’s so packed that you have to squeeze in beside Jungkook, pressing against his side. With his broad shoulders and your thick coat, there’s not much room and after a few minutes, Jungkook shifts and lifts his arm, draping it over your shoulder to give you both a bit more space.

You frown. Even though it’s more comfortable this way, you don’t like it at all. If he’s with Hara, this is crossing boundaries left and right. You know that if you were still together and he did this with another woman, it’d be a dealbreaker.

The gesture sours your mood instantly, letting your thoughts spiral in a way that has you dangerously close to snapping at him. But you hold back. You won’t start a scene now, not here; you’ll wait until you’re at the restaurant and talk things through.

When you reach the top and leave the gondola, heading toward the small restaurant by the lift, Jungkook keeps his hand resting lightly on your back.

It’s ironic, really. You left because you wanted him to find happiness, to be with someone who wouldn’t bring conflict, someone he wouldn’t feel the need to change. And here he is, supposedly happy, yet acting like you’re still his, clinging to old habits like they’re the only things he has left with you.

Maybe that’s the saddest part of all. He’s got everything he once told you he wanted, yet he’s still holding onto pieces of the past, unable to let them go. And maybe he’ll never fully move on, just like you haven’t, even if he thinks he has. But that’s not something you can fix. You tried—more than once—to help him keep his distance, to let go of whatever still kept him wounded. Even if it wasn’t the perfect approach, pretending to be with Yoongi, you thought it might help him move on. But he has to handle that himself now; you’re done being the one to guide him there.

You deserve peace, too. You deserve to be able to look back on your time together without feeling unresolved tension. If that means keeping your distance, letting him live his life with Hara without stepping in, then so be it. You’re done making excuses for him, done justifying his behaviour to yourself. He’s made his choices, back then and now too, and now it’s time for you to make yours.

You take a deep breath, letting it all settle within you as you step into the restaurant. The hurt, the sadness, the longing—sure, it’s all still there, and maybe it always will be. But now, it’s just that: memories. Moments you once cherished, now filed away in a part of your heart that no longer needs to cling so tightly. Or at least, that’s what you hope.

As you sit down across from him, letting go bit by bit, you realise that maybe this is what closure should feel like. Hurtful, and not freeing at all.

“You’re kinda touchy.”

Jungkook looks up from his menu, running the tip of his tongue over his lip piercing. “I always am.”

Your lips press into a firm line, shoulders tensing even more. Jungkook’s eyes dart over you, and he realises too late that your mood has shifted. As he catches on, his nervous habits start to surface in an instant. He fumbles with his menu, his leg bouncing so hard that the tablecloth shifts slightly with each movement.

“Doesn’t it feel wrong to you?” You ask, your tone so accusatory it even startles you.

Jungkook gulps, actually gulps, and you feel the urge to laugh or maybe storm off altogether.

“No?” He sounds uncertain, though there’s a strange conviction in his voice, even with his nerves. “Does it bother you?”

“Yes.”

You stare each other down, Jungkook nodding but tilting his head slightly, eyebrows drawn. “Is it because of Yoongi?”

Should you come clean and tell him you’re not dating Yoongi, that he’s just your cousin? But you can’t see the point. It wouldn’t change anything now, you’re sure of that. Though you’re not sure if the snort and shake of your head is more because of how absurd it all is, or if it’s meant to answer his question. Either way, it fits. And as Jungkook exhales sharply through his nose, his jaw clenching in a steady rhythm, you don’t say anything more.

The tension between you feels like it’s growing and the silence between you both is almost suffocating you. You try to distract yourself by looking at the scenery outside the window, but it’s no use.

“I never wanted to do all those things,” you mumble, as if you can somehow lift a bit of the weight off your chest. “But I felt so…so unworthy…so empty. I needed to do it, even if I hated most of it.”

The waiter sets down your plates and drinks, wishing you a pleasant meal. Still, you don’t look up at Jungkook, maybe out of embarrassment, maybe because you just can’t. Instead, you stare at your food, forcing yourself to eat, even if it’s only a little.

“You shouldn’t have.” His voice is gentle, and you feel his gaze burning onto your face, though you try to ignore it. “Not for someone else, at least.”

Is he talking about himself? Or does he think you did it all for Yoongi? Either way, he’s right, though those words would have made more difference if he’d said them years ago.

“Maybe you’re right.”

It’s unusual to see Jungkook eating so slowly, and it’s not like you to keep so quiet, either. It’s not that you can’t handle silence, but sharing a meal like this without any connection feels so pointless.

“Was it easy?” Jungkook eventually asks, and your eyes involuntarily snap up to him.

“What was?”

“Moving on so fast…”

Sometimes, looking at Jungkook like you do now, you marvel at how much he’s matured. His features have lost that softness, his smooth skin now showing faint lines from laughter and time you weren’t there to share.

You’d always imagined growing old with him, and even though it hasn’t been that long, your heart aches for all the time lost.

The faint, bluish shadows under his eyes, something he didn’t even have during his finals, make him look not just tired, but drained off life. You can only hope it’s not because of you.

“I never did, so I can’t say.”

You both go back to eating, letting silence settle again as you try to process it all. Maybe you need a whiteboard, or even a list, something to help you make sense of it all, thinking you’ll definitely do that later, once you’re back at the hostel tonight.

More than half your plate is still full, but you can’t seem to eat any more. As you set your cutlery down and tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, you notice Jungkook’s already finished his meal.

“You should eat more.”

“I’m full. I’ll just take it to go.”

And after Jungkook sighs and nods, you do just that, quickly insisting you’ll pay for your own meal, refusing to let him cover it for you.

Finally back outside, the sky has shifted, like your mood, from sunny and clear to dark, with low-hanging, heavy clouds.

“That’s odd,” Jungkook mutters, fishing his phone out and typing quickly. “Forecast didn’t mention a downpour.”

“What should we do?” Your nerves flare, body tingling and palms starting to sweat as that familiar panic creeps in, the kind that takes over any time things veer off-plan.

Jungkook’s eyes dart over his screen, only adding to your unease.

“Shit,” he curses under his breath and puts his phone away. “So, uh, there’s a thunder cell that’s come up out of nowhere, and there’s a warning for a severe snowstorm. But it’s all good. We still have time.”

Just then, the first big snowflakes start falling from the clouds, and the wind picks up. As you look up at the sky, your voice trembles, “Jungkook?”

“Alright, okay, maybe we don’t have as much time as I thought. We’re going to head down this way quickly, but safely.” He points toward a fork in the path where you can see a sign with a blue dot in one direction and a black one in the other—the black meaning it’s the most difficult and dangerous run there is.

“Okay.” You don’t sound entirely convinced, partly because, while you believe in your skills, you know that in these weather conditions, even the best skills won’t count for much.

“Strap on your board. We need to go.”

And you follow his instructions because, at this point, there’s no other option. The wind has picked up dramatically by the time you straighten up again, and you have to strain every muscle to stay upright against its force.

You’re terrified, and Jungkook’s focused, hurried pace isn’t doing much to settle your nerves.

“You’re leading, so I can keep my eyes on you.”

You nod, shifting your weight forward to start descending, but keeping control of the board proves not just difficult, but almost impossible. Your vision blurs with the flurry of snowflakes, even through your goggles, you can barely make out the slope or see the fork ahead.

“To the right!” you hear Jungkook shout from behind, his voice frantic to its core. But as you pick up speed, the wind shoves you beyond the limit of what you can handle, pushing you towards the left, dangerously close to the black run.

“To the right, ___!”

You try, you really do, but you can’t seem to manage it. Like a leaf in a gale, you’re pulled in the direction you don’t want to go, helpless to stop it. Lungs burning with each short breath, you think you scream the moment you realise it’s too late, skidding down the steep, black slope.

You try to brake, just like Jungkook taught you, but your knees are weak, your muscles not trained enough to regain control.

Jungkook rushes up beside you, and even though you’re in full survival mode, his presence brings you a tiny sliver of reassurance, even if it’s just for a while.

“You’re doing good, keep going!”

And you do, tears streaming down under your scarf. The storm keeps pushing you off course, pulling you again and again in directions you don’t want to go. But Jungkook’s right there, sticking close beside you, trying to block out some of the wind’s blasts and guiding you as best as he can.

It feels like an eternity—fighting against nature, fighting to stay upright, fighting the fear building stronger and stronger in your chest. Somehow, even though you left the marked slope ages ago, heading somewhere unknown and unsure if it’ll lead you to safety, you spot a small, abandoned-looking hut in the distance.

“Try to stop!” Jungkook yells, his voice barely reaching you through the howling wind.

“Now?”

“Now!”

You manage to stop, though clumsily, falling hard onto your bum, every muscle aching so painfully you’re barely able to move. Jungkook ditches his board in seconds, crawling over to help you with yours as the frozen clips stubbornly resist coming loose.

“You good?” He glances briefly at your face, breath visible in short puffs matching yours, his lips chapped and slightly split.

You nod, though you’re still trembling, trying to steady yourself as adrenaline surges through you without much mercy.

Jungkook gets up with your board in hand, offering his free hand to you in a heartbeat and pulling you up effortlessly. After he picks up his own board, jointing yours, he clasps your hand with his free one and bolts towards the hut, dragging you along with him.

Thankfully, or rather miraculously, the hut’s indeed abandoned and open. And while Jungkook pushes you inside first, letting the boards clatter onto the wooden floor as he leans against the door, both of you are panting and gasping for air, needing this break more than anything.

The hut’s not really windproof, small gaps in the wooden walls still letting the cold wind whistle inside.

“Seriously? What the hell were you thinking?!” He rips his helmet off and throws it to the boards on the ground.

You try to straighten yourself, though the ache’s nearly too much. “I… I tried. I… it…”

“You just never listen, do you? I told you to turn right back there, but of course, you went your own way. Always have, always will.”

The storm outside’s picked up even more now, and the cold has seeped into your bones, though you still fold your arms, doing your best to keep your voice steady despite the burn in your lungs. “Oh, please, Jungkook. Don’t act like I’m the only one who doesn’t listen. You’ve got selective hearing when it suits you.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a gloved hand through his sweat-dampened hair. “Selective hearing? I spent years trying to tell you things, but you were always too stubborn to actually listen.”

“Right, yeah, I’m the stubborn one,” you snap right back. “You still can’t even talk to me unless it’s about some bullshit like snowboarding.”

“Oh, as if you’re any better.”

“I am! You didn’t even say one word before I left!” you explode, ripping off your helmet too, followed by your gloves, yeeting them across the hut.

“Oh, fuck off, ___! I wanted to, but clearly, you couldn’t wait to fuck Yoongi as soon as you got rid off me!”

“Yoongi’s my cousin, Jungkook. Family. But I wouldn’t expect you to know that, since you barely know anything about my life anymore.”

Jungkook’s face falls at that, and you can clearly see how his whole world view crumbles in his eyes, leaving nothing behind but a hollow sadness you’ve never seen before. Though you’re sad too, you’re hollow too, and so you continue, “Don’t pin this on me when I never moved on, when you were the one fucking Hara and giving her a baby.”

His unfocused eyes snap to you, lips still parted as he breathes, “I never slept with her. She’s Jin’s wife.”

You feel like you’re falling, falling so hard and fast you can’t stop. The tears that coat your eyes are nothing compared to the agonising realisation ripping you open. All those years, even all this hurt you’ve been experiencing these last few days, were unfounded.

If you weren’t this close to Jungkook, you’d think his red nose was just from the cold, but the silver lining his eyes carry shows just how broken you both are, what you did to yourselves without even realising it in the first place.

“You moved on,” you press out, fighting the sob that threatens to spill.

“I haven’t.”

How foolish all the assumptions were, how foolish of him to assume just as much. How utterly foolish that you both lost the ability to talk to each other long before your relationship ended.

But maybe it had to come to this for you to learn what it’s like to be separated, to learn how to communicate… but have you really? You reckon you haven’t, not given how things went down. Maybe it’s too late, just as Hope warned you, though a small, fragile part in you clings to the delusion that things might still turn out right.

“Let’s… let’s call for help.” You turn, unable to keep looking at Jungkook, and you’re sure he needs time to process the bomb that’s just dropped.

“Yeah,” he’s taking out his phone again, though the breath he lets out is nothing short of concerning. “My phone’s dead. How about yours?”

By now you’ve sat down on the small, bare bed, as standing any longer would have had you fainting by this point. While you rummage through your inner coat pocket to pull out your old beaten-up phone, Jungkook stomps over with his snow-covered boots and sits down beside you, leaving enough space between you that it feels like miles.

Lighting up the screen, you see your phone’s battery miraculously still well over 90%, but there’s absolutely no signal. “Nope, no signal. We’re stranded.”

Just as you’re about to put your phone back, Jungkook stops you with his voice. “You still got the case?”

You pause, looking over at him, only to meet hopeful eyes you can’t quite place.

“Uh, yeah. You clearly got rid of yours though.”

You hate sounding so bitter, but it is what it is. Years of feeling the way you did can’t be undone with one revelation.

“I lost it… my phone, too, when I was in the Caribbean shortly after we…”

You hum and nod because what else is there to do?

“Why did you keep it?”

Your eyes stray from your phone, where you’re running your thumb over one of Jungkook’s doodles on the case like it always does, to him, though he’s not looking at you this time, just fiddling with his gloves in his lap.

“I can’t get rid of memories. You should know that.”

“Even if they’re bad?” He turns his head to you, though his eyes are fixed on your phone. The way he’s slouching is so unlike him, and it hurts to see what you’ve done to him.

“They aren’t bad.”

Jungkook nods a few times, as if he’s trying to cement your words in his mind, rewriting everything he thought was real but never was.

Eventually, Jungkook stands up and walks over to a small closet, pulling open the doors to see what’s inside.

“No way.” He breathes out a laugh, and you crane your neck to look past his broad shoulders, though it’s no use.

When he turns, arms full of vacuum bags stuffed with blankets and pillows, you feel like you might scream in delight. Especially when Jungkook rips them open beside you and a waft of freshly washed fabric hits you.

“That’s like hitting the jackpot.” You look up at him, your grin as wide as his as he just laughs. “Can you light the fireplace too?”

Jungkook furrows his brows as he looks around the hut, likely because he hadn’t spotted it until now. But as soon as he clocks it, along with the stack of dried wood beside it, he’s off in a flash, inspecting the chimney and everything else.

Meanwhile, you gather all the bedding and spread it out on the bed, purposefully ignoring the fact that there’s only this one bed in the hut and not even a couch. It shouldn’t be a big deal—you’ve done more than sleep in the same bed as Jungkook before, and you’re both clearly single, so there’s nothing your conscience can protest about.

Still, time has passed, and you’ve clearly drifted apart more than you would’ve liked. It’s an unusual situation you’re in, an emergency really, and you’ll have to adjust to it without reading too much into it.

“Got a lighter on you?”

You pull it out of your pocket, leaving Yoongi’s cigarettes in your pocket that you nicked this morning alongside before leaving, and toss the lighter his way which he catches effortlessly with one hand, lighting up the kindling he’s set, framed by a few larger sticks of wood.

Jungkook watches the fire intently, and soon enough the hut’s heating up, allowing you to take off your coat. Not wanting to keep your boots on any longer—by now, they’ve cut off all circulation in your feet—you pull them off as well, then crawl onto the bed, settling against the headboard under the layers of blankets.

You’re absolutely knackered at this point, and as you check the time on your phone, you realise it’s already past dinnertime.

“You can join me, you know?” you smile as Jungkook turns around, muttering an “okay” and starting to peel off his gear too, though you don’t miss the flush creeping up to his ears.

How endearing he can still be.

The bed’s clearly not meant for two—especially not when Jungkook’s become this buff. He’d probably struggle to fit on his own, let alone with someone else. And though you’re fairly petite next to him, you’re both squished together, personal space nonexistent. Still, it’s better than freezing to death outside.

“I’m so tired,” you yawn.

“I’m so hungry.”

The pout on Jungkook’s face makes you giggle; it’s just so him. Without thinking, you lean over him to fetch the food from your coat. Only when you settle back beside him do you notice how stiff he’s gone.

You don’t comment on it, just hand him the leftovers, which he reluctantly takes, though this time he doesn’t engulf your hands like he did yesterday. Not that you’d admit it, but you’re a bit sad he didn’t do it again.

“You hungry too? It’s your food.”

“I’m good, Jungkook, please just eat.”

You’re starting to read him again, just a bit less hazy than it was the last few days. So before he can start arguing with you, those sad boba eyes pleading for you to eat when you’re genuinely not hungry, you lay your hand over his arm, giving it a light squeeze. “I’m not hungry, promise.”

With that, Jungkook starts to eat and you lean back, slumping more into the blankets as he eats in silence, your eyes growing heavy with each passing minute.

“You can sleep if you want.” Jungkook gently pulls the blanket higher over your shoulder as you lie down fully, your head nearly resting against his hip.

“I’m still cold,” you mumble sleepily, though there’s no chance you’ll really fall asleep while you’re still shivering like this. The storm’s really taken it out of you.

Jungkook shifts, and when you open your eyes, you realise he’s finished eating and is lying down facing you. “Turn around.”

Lying beside him like this, faces just inches apart, is something you never thought would happen again. And while it’s hard to look away from him—the slope of his nose, the Cupid’s bow of his lips making them almost too inviting—you fight against the blankets draped over you both and turn around. Jungkook slips an arm around your waist without much care, pulling you fully against him until there’s no space left between you.

Heart racing like a hummingbird’s wings, you try to relax into his hold, but the thin layer of fabric separating you makes it feel as though you’re bare. You’d seen the contours of his body when he stripped off his gear, the black thermal shirt and pants clinging to his muscles like a second skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. But feeling his solid body against yours like this, after so long, leaves your head spinning in circles you can’t seem to stop.

You haven’t noticed how your hips press back against his crotch, haven’t noticed the way your body instinctively moves against his until Jungkook’s breath hits your ear.

“Sorry,” you breathe, but somehow, you can’t bring yourself to stop. His large hand, which had been resting on the mattress beside you, slides up along your stomach, stopping just before cupping your breast from below, and you know you’ve stepped through a door that should’ve been left closed.

Heat rises within you, making you shiver with something far more pleasant than the cold. You need more of him, more of his touch, and your hand slips from beneath the blankets, reaching back to tangle in the hair at the back of his head, willing yourself to just feel and nothing more.

His quick breaths ghost across the part of your neck that’s bare, just enough to spark more want not only in your heart but your cunt too. You tug gently at his hair, urging him down, igniting a fire you know won’t be put out easily.

Before his hand fully cups your breast, he pulls you even tighter against him, hot lips kissing and sucking at your skin as you press yourself back, trying to ease the ache between your legs against his growing cock.

The low moans slipping from Jungkook’s throat are music to your ears, and the realisation that he likely sang that song not for Hara, but for you, sends another wave of arousal out of your cunt.

“Jungkook…” you rasp, basking in his touch, but as soon as his name leaves your lips, he pulls back.

Thinking you’ve done something wrong, you turn your head, only to see him tugging off the last of his clothes. Relieved and more turned on than you’ve ever been, you strip off your own gear, leaving the blanket draped over you. It’s been years, your body’s changed, and while you know it shouldn’t matter, you still hope he doesn’t notice.

In a blink, he’s back, resuming where he left off, though now it’s his warm, smooth skin against yours. The ridges of his abdomen press along your back, and the feel of his cock—hard and oh so hot—against the cheeks of your ass is pure bliss.

You turn your head, trying to catch his gaze, maybe even hoping for a kiss, but when you catch sight of the familiar chain around his neck, it stops you in your tracks.

Jungkook pauses too, his eyes questioning, but as soon as he realises what you’re looking at, he gives you a lazy smirk, his hand cupping your face to turn you towards him and with it your whole body.

You expect him to kiss you now, hungrily like he always did, but instead, he brushes his lips along your cheek, your neck, shifting to settle between your legs while the cool metal of the chain’s grazing your tits with every shift of his body.

“I don’t have a condom. I could…eat you out.”

His thigh pressing against you doesn’t lessen the ache, but you remember the one scare you had together, that time you thought you might be pregnant not long after you’d started dating. It wasn’t that you wouldn’t have wanted it, but you’d both been so young. Even now, the thought makes your heart skip, but not as violently as it used to. You’d be ready and willing to take the risk, though, would he?

“I’m clean, on the pill.”

Jungkook lets out a low groan against your neck as you press your thigh gently against his cock, needing to give something back.

“I haven’t been with anyone since you. So clean.”

Is he serious? The thought hits you hard, and though you know he never lied to you before, you still can’t help but pull back, needing to see his face.

“You haven’t?”

“No.” His voice is barely a whisper, and the same love you remember shines in his eyes, making you tear up.

“Me too.”

“Fuck.” He returns to your neck, his fingers tracing your lines until they find your weeping cunt, slipping between your lips to spread your juices in gentle, familiar strokes as he preps you, every touch an echo of the love that maybe never faded.

The first stretch of his middle finger inside you is nothing short of insane, drawing you higher with a single stroke than any toy has managed in years. The way your cunt clenches around him seems to drive Jungkook on even more as he pumps with precise motions, soon adding his ring finger, bringing you dangerously close to euphoria.

Jungkook’s free hand roams from your neck to your tits, back and forth, squeezing, mapping you out like he forgot how you felt like, though finally resting on your jaw as he nestles his head between your shoulder and neck, leaving soft love bites in his wake.

It’s when he picks up the pace, the base of his palm hitting your clit relentlessly with each thrust, that you come undone, your orgasm flooding over his hand as he continues, determined to not stop just yet.

A muffled whine of your name slips from his lips, softer than you’ve ever heard, and while you long to hear him call your pet name like he used to, it only amplifies the fullness in your heart for him.

Jungkook keeps his fingers inside you, now scissoring them to stretch you further as you cling to his back, not caring if you leave angry marks.

“Think you can take it?”

“Yes,” you mewl, not caring if you couldn’t. You’ll take him, you need him, need to feel as if none of those years apart ever happened.

Once again, you think he might finally kiss you, but instead, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to your damp forehead. You momentarily frown, but it’s forgotten the second his cock aligns with your still sobbing cunt, dragging up and down to coat his entire length and even his tight balls.

The sight of Jungkook when he finally pushes in is nothing short of mesmerising. He’s so perfectly sculpted, every muscle cord defined, and with his piercings and tattoo sleeve, he looks like a fantasy you never dared dreaming of.

You’ve always had a weak spot for tattoos, but seeing them inked across Jungkook’s skin? That’s your ultimate downfall. A glorious downfall, as the burn of his thick length pushing deep inside you sends you reeling, until he’s so far in that you can’t tell where he starts and you end.

“Oh my god,” you choke out, overwhelmed by everything Jungkook is—and everything he’s become.

He’s unusually silent, though you barely notice, not when he begins to rock his hips, leisurely sliding his massive cock in and out, low grunts and moans escaping him as his gaze locks onto yours and not dares to stray.

Jungkook leans back, increasing the intensity of his thrusts, sweat forming in small beads along the ridges of his chest and abs, dripping down despite the cold. His nipples are hard, and your mouth waters with the urge to suck on them. But seeing his own mouth slightly parted, breaths quickening in time with the rhythm of his hips, you’re sure he’s thinking the same, drawn to your own nipples, standing proud on the jiggling flesh of your chest.

And while you wish you were the flicker of firelight dancing across his skin, you’re not far behind, as his hands find their way from your hips to your tits, caressing them like he always did, giving you everything and far more. You need something to ground yourself, a way to keep from shattering under the emotions running wild in your mind, intensified with every thrust Jungkook drives into your core. So, you grip his wrists, not to stop him, but to urge him on—to make him pinch harder.

Maybe you need the bite of it, maybe you want him to not just take away the ache, but be the reason you remember this night years from now.

“Jungkook, I’m so close, oh my god.”

The grunt that escapes him reverberates through you, nearly pushing you over the edge on its own, but he slows, setting a gentler pace as he shifts so his mouth can worship you from your breasts to your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys across your delicate skin.

You know the two of you will be marked by the end of the night, and right now, that’s all you want. You want to leave yourself etched into his skin, to reclaim your place not only in his heart but in every part of him.

In this moment, it’s like you’re finally whole—not just because Jungkook fills you completely, but because he completes you. He always has, and while you’ve both been damned by what happened before, it feels like redemption might be close.

“You’re…” Jungkook murmurs against your skin, his warm breath searing into you, though you need him to finish his sentence, need to hear it.

But as you cradle his head in your hands and he lifts his gaze to meet yours, his eyes are hooded, yet glistening, and your throat tightens at the sight too.

Face to face, you share the same breath, as if you share one heart, your small hands gripping his face as if you never want to let go, his hands cradling your small head with the tenderness that once meant everything. It’s as though you feel what he’s trying to say—but somehow, you don’t.

There’s still a wall between you, still something unsaid screaming in the silence that just can’t seem to go away, and you’re sure he feels it too. He feels it as your orgasm builds, feels it in the desperation of his own thrusts, in the matching, agonising, wordless ache in both your eyes, feels it when you both shatter together in a burst of all colours and stars in existence.

And then, all that’s left is pain.

He hasn’t kissed you, and you didn’t kiss him either.

And as he pulls his now-softening length from your still-pulsing cunt and reaches for a tissue from his trousers off the floor to help you clean up, he silently gets dressed.

Dresses as if he’s ashamed, dressed as if he regrets it, dressed as if you’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to him.

So you do the same, slipping into your clothes before lying back down, shifting as close to the wall as possible, facing away from him to give him some peace where none is found.

The tears falling silently onto the pillow should only be from the shivering that’s returned, a byproduct of the cold that momentarily disappeared but is now back as if you were never meant to feel warm again.

Finally, exhaustion sweeps over you. Physically. Mentally. And everything in between.

And as Jungkook lies down too, once more pulling you close and wrapping you in the warmth you crave more than you can bear to admit, your eyes fall shut almost effortlessly.

Maybe sleeping it all away will make it better, forgotten as a dream that never was.

Forgotten, like everything good that once was but now isn’t anymore.

Forgotten, like the tear you feel slide down the back of your neck, disappearing into the fabric of your shirt where all your sins and failures lie buried.

01 • 02 • masterlist • 04

a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! 👀 If you liked what you read, pls consider buying me a ☕️ Ko-fi.com/runariya 💕

Like what you read? Check out my other work here!

taglist: @kookiewithluv , @closer-to-jungkook , @dreamcatcherluvr , @runariyaluvr, @blueofocean, @leah-rose03 , @httpjeonlicious , @futuristicenemychaos , @cryingoverpixelsetc , @variety-is-the-joy-of-life , @kawaiiisstuff , @delusionalsnack , @jaykay-world , @kookie-vuitton , @https-mei, @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs , @avawants2havefun , @kawaiiisstuff, @ancagab16 , @lovingkoalaface , @lachimolalajeon , @jkslvsnella , @asimuss7 , @elinaki92 , @minghaosimp, @whoa-jo , @jaytheatiny , @winterbeartaehyungbestboy, @xsyruhh, @joonlover1207 , @elinaki92 , @junecat18 , @remgeolli , @kooloveys , @nemelkawar

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emilija04acer · 1 month ago

Text

Jayvik fics list (pt 1)

(+ some Jayvikmel)

They are soulmates, Your Honor, whether platonic or romantic is irrelevant.

Firstly, here is an essay by isdisorigionale. Yes, they apparently wanted to write about a brotherly relationship. But it doesn't really read like that, in my opinion.

An Aroace Analysis of Jayvik—Not Necessarily Romance, Absolutely Not “Bros”

Their summary>

An essay I wrote in 90 minutes 2 hours after finishing Season 2 Act 3. Notably, those two hours were spent screaming to my friends on how fucking generational that Jayvik was.

Or: They obviously didn't need to make them make out to show how much they love each other, but I’m also pissed at how apparently this is being called a bromance like ?????

♥––––––––♥♥––––––––♥

Now onto the fanfics >

Green is my thoughts on the fics.

Those are shorter fics that I read...After the finale, fanfiction is helping me cope. I'll make a separate list with older and longer fics.

♥––––––––♥♥––––––––♥

You're Dreaming by Skullsz_Writes

Viktor & Jayce are researching in the library, but Jayce falls asleep...

Short and sweet fic about Viktor crushing on Jayce in season 1

An Epilogue by GwenEani

In the countryside of Demacia two men arrive one day, no one knows anything about them, no one even knows their names for certain. But they know one thing: they are partners and are here to stay.

What if Jayce and Viktor didn't die in each other's arms but were teleported away and were living domestic lives? There are a lot of these here, and rightfully so. They deserve some happiness.

to rot and ruin by ember360

The first words Viktor says to Jayce are immortalised on Jayce's wrist. The first words Jayce says to Viktor... are not what he thinks.

Soulmate AU for these two was a need. I love Soul Mark fanfictions.

Fortune Kooky by setbet

“And you end up with… a beard!” she exclaimed pointing at Jayce’s face.

Viktor rolled his eyes while Jayce looked on, amazed at her prophecy.

“And then…” she turned her gaze to Viktor. “You turn into a robot!” cried out the fortune teller, falling back in fear. “A terrifying robot bent on taking over the world!”

“Eh, sounds fake,” said Viktor.

“Viktor, don't be rude!” said Jayce, but starting to feel a bit doubtful at this point.

A fic about two academy boys visiting a completely accurate fortune teller.

Universal Constants. by Azurita25

“Yes, well… there is also the idea of constants, no? Universal constants. Gravity is always present, the Earth always spins around the sun–”

“And we always end up doing laundry together?”

“I do not think the laundry is the part that’s important,” Viktor stressed.

“So what is?” Jayce replied, making Viktor laugh, shake his head.

“You are.”

--Or, a glimpse into all the universes where Jayce and Viktor find each other.

wrong bedroom by a1sher

“Wait a minute, this isn’t my bedroom.” Viktor and Jayce tries to break into Heimerdinger’s lab only to end up in Viktor’s bedroom;)

What if Mel accepted Vik's excuse?

…And They Were Roommates! by draconabraxas

Mel Medarda never thought she’d go on a date with a taken man; homewrecking was beneath a woman of her standing.

In her defense, nobody in their circle seemed to know if Jayce and Viktor were together, either. So, how was she supposed to know?

Miscomunication and more miscomunication! Mel isn't a sidepeace!

Why Love Songs Exist by Slither

"All these timelines at our fingertips." Viktor pauses. He smirks in such a way that Jayce knows he has a silly idea. "It would be funny if I were a worm in an alternate universe," he says.

"I think you would be a cute worm," says Jayce—his Jayce—without hesitation, and then he shrugs. "I would put you in the best garden I could find and feed you the freshest fruits," he adds casually.

Giopara is silently mouthing the phrase "what the fuck" behind them, as Viktor's mouth falls open. "Oh."

Oh, he says, as if that did not remind him of everything Jayce revealed before they sacrificed their souls to contain the Arcane. Oh, that he was beautiful. Oh, that he was...

Desired?

Or Jayce basically confessed his love, but the specifics remained unclear to Viktor.

Kiss me like one of your Zaun Boys by setbet

“They’re making out in the lab.”

“Yeah, they do that a lot.”

“But they’re not boyfriends?”

“We don’t talk about it.”

The first time Viktor kissed Jayce, it was a quick peck on the cheek, followed by a casual conversation. The next time it's on the lips, but then it's back to talk about formulas. Jayce concludes it must be a cultural thing, and also starts to kiss Viktor back. Everybody else is confused.

A story of two friends kissing each other, who are definitely not boyfriends.

only you by babybirb

Jayce and Viktor don't quite cease to exist. Instead, they are side by side in each breath, in each droplet of blood, in each wave of sound and light. What seems to be the end, is only the beginning for them. And together, they pave their way forth.

An ethereal alternate after-ending to Jayce and Viktor and the love they hold for each other. With it, they exist within all possibilities.

not to me, not if it's you by brewstersbru

They were supposed to die, then, a better ending than Viktor expected. Far sweeter than he deserved. Jayce’s hand warm and broad against his neck, foreheads tipped together, breaths fanning over skin. It was neat. It was nice.

And then he woke up, splayed in a field, draped in the tatters of Jayce’s blanket. A groan rose from his left, then some pitiful shuffling before a final, loud thump, accompanied by a slight warble.

perfect imperfections by bbgghost

In his dying moments, Jayce revisits some important moments he has shared with Viktor. And makes some new memories along the way.

i knew you in another life (you had that same look in your eyes) by coefemi

Jayce shakes his head. “You don’t need to thank me. I’d do it for you. I’d do anything.” He sounds so earnest too, and Viktor believes him. He is safe with this boy, he decides. Jayce’s smile makes him feel like he can eat the world raw, and Viktor wants to hold onto it forever.

When Viktor and Jayce's foreheads touch, all the infinite what-could-have-beens spill through their minds.

♥––––––––♥♥––––––––♥

2x7 AU\No Hextech AU

I'd love to see more of this AU and will also write fanfiction about it.

Quiet Resonance by Qakk281

Jayce rarely wakes up before Viktor, but on the rare mornings he does, he savors every second.

After the events of Act 3, Jayce and Viktor found themselves in a different timeline, where Hextech doesn't exist.

what could've been, would've been (what should've been you) by ghostlyecho

They got married in this universe.

Jayce grabs Viktor’s left hand, examining it. He looks at his own.

Twin rings adorn their fingers, Viktor’s golden, Jayce’s silver, both holding a fragment of blue crystal in the middle.

They’re married. They vowed their life to the other, they promised themselves to one another, they actually acted upon the deep-rooted emotions that coursed through the garden that was their relationship, that stubborn weed called love, that always came back no matter how many times you plucked it.

What if it was Jayce who got to see his life in an alternate universe

What Could Have Been by TheUnknownGoose

When Jayce woke up he nearly leaped out of bed when he realized bed? Why am I in bed? His heart was pounding against his rib cage as he looked around. He was in a bedroom, not his though.

Or Jayce sees what could have been if one thing had gone differently.

In Every Universe, It's You by AniresNevil

In an Alternate Universe, a young scientist Jayce loses his hopes and dreams when an explosion in his studyroom takes a life of an young girl. Dean's assistant Viktor still seems to find him in every lifetime, and together they accomplish something once again with the power of their partnership. And maybe with something more.

What happened to Jayce and Viktor in the Universe where Ekko traveled to in season 2?

Both arms cradle you now by Alexthestarlover

They're meant to be. In every timeline of any universe, throughout all the endless possibilities of actions and worlds. Their souls are intertwined. But is it possible that they're together in death too?

there was something about you, but now i cant remember by DipitinPuddinggg

He held out a hand for a shake, "I'm Jayce."

At the edges of his mind, a familiar voice echoed through the walls of his skull. A voice that was the same but also not. A face that was so familiar, but too smooth at this point in time, not yet marred by years of labour and hardship that not even the strongest person in Runeterra could survive on his own.

"I don't even know your name."

Viktor smiled and shook it, "Viktor."

After getting sucked into the rune, Jayce and Viktor get transported to a different timeline without the memories of their previous life. Except, some things start seeping in.

you'll never shine if you don't glow by hexcorehomos

Viktor woke up, his fact was hot, sweat dripping down it. Where was he?

He looked around, it looked like Piltover. He slowly tried to get up, still confused. He should be dead, he exploded with the Arcane. That's when he figured out that his leg was back to normal. He groaned, falling face down into the grass. He wondered if Jayce was here too, oh, Jayce. What would Viktor do without him?

He saw a few people pass, but he got the courage to speak up when he saw familiar blue hair, almost like Jinx's. "Uh, miss.." he got her attention, turning towards him.

"Hello, sir?" she responded. She had gorgeous blue eyes. "I need- I need help. My cane is gone, and I cant walk without it." he lied, desperate for help.

♥––––––––♥♥––––––––♥

The Poly relationship>

Radical Violence Theory by begaydocrimes10001

When Mel Medarda realizes that she's completely ignored Viktor's potential as a scientist, as an academic, she quickly seeks to remedy that. He may not be Jayce Talis, but he has his own brain, and he seems to be far more useful than most think. She's a practical woman, after all- it would be useful to have another genius on her side.

And when she realizes Viktor is also in love with Jayce Talis, and Jayce loves them both? She's still practical, after all-- she sees an opportunity.

(Or, Mel and Viktor are more similar than one might think. That applies to who they love, but it applies to how they love too.)

Mel and Vik are platonic in this one, and I love it. Sadly, the positive interaction between them in Cannon is non-existent.

♥––––––––♥♥––––––––♥

Explicit> (some are 2x8 specific)

Wild Like a March hare by crow_brain

Wild are the glimpses of their life, hot coals burning the soles of their feet. They dance like animals, trying to close the gap between.

(Or the body worship Viktor's always should've gotten)

Cosmic Coitus by Wink_Wonk_Wank_Wenk

Now that there’s nothing but space around them, they can do whatever they want.

Inevitable Change by magisterpavus

Viktor isn’t the same when he comes back.

Jayce is determined to make it work anyway.

convince you by spectacularorange

after being rejected once, viktor must find a way to convince jayce to join him.

2x8

Partners. by lw192

Taking place during the fight scene in the councilor's room, Jayce and Viktor reconcile and realize just how much they need each other.

(Jayce and Viktor fuck on the councilor's table.)

Can I hold you? (Even if its just pretend?) by Issavandra

“My partner died in this room,” he ground out.

“Do I seem dead to you Jayce?” Viktor asked. Jayce could feel him moving closer, he swore he felt something brush his nose. “I have never been more alive.”

A cool, metallic finger passed over his bottom lip in a featherlight touch. It felt almost reverent. “Do you want me to show you just how alive I am?”

♥––––––––♥♥––––––––♥

Pt 2is here>

https://www.tumblr.com/emilija04acer/768620668211331072/jayvik-fics-list-pt2?source=share

Pt 3 (new fics)>

https://www.tumblr.com/emilija04acer/769136252271362048/jayvik-list-pt3

#arcane #arcane fanfic #jayvik #jayvik fanfic #fanfic list #jayvikmel #arcane jayce #arcane viktor #arcane mel #league of legends #i can’t fucking believe they find each other in every timeline #Bromance??? It was supposed to be a bromance?

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lesbiansforboromir · 8 days ago

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Alright, I was holding off for journalistic integrity but now that I've seen the WotR film I can make posts about it without restraint.

Jesus christ the racial politics of this film are atrocious. Some character might as well just tell Wulf 'not to play the race card'. Wulf is a liberal snowflake who blames racism for all his troubles and can't pull himself up by his bootstraps and he is also brown-skinned and obsessively pursues our PORCLAIN white dainty-drawn female protagonist with both romantic and murderous intent. Oppression of dunlendings by the Rohirrim exists only in Wulf's head apparently, though it can be tasted in every spat 'dunlending' perjorative that comes from Helm or Haleth's mouth. But Hera has absolutely no racism within her of course! She refuses Wulf because she doesnt want to marry anyone and Wulf just assumes it's because his dunlending blood disgusts her, so entitled of him!

But also maybe the racism is '''justified'''? If it exists? Which it doesn't! But IF it did, don't worry because ONCE AGAIN all the dunlendings are just greedy, clutching, unwashed, skull wearing, violent barbarians with no unique culture to speak of and no reasons to be making war on Rohan except to sieze what isn't theirs (ignoring the fact that it totally was theirs until Rohan seized it from them and OH BOY are we ignorin' that) And the only dunlending we see not frothing at the mouth for violence or showing any introspective depth at all is General Targg who is the mouthpiece with which we get to hear 'the girl (Hera) is right' whereupon he is promptly killed by Wulf.

Oh but of course, what else could Helm have done? Freca was some greedy FAT man (boy does everyone love calling him fat, happy to lean into THAT aspect of canon) whose lands were too prosperous for his own good (hang on isn't keeping your lands prosperous the platonic ideal of lordship?) And he called a 'Witan' (no he didn't, he came to one of the regular councils of lords that Helm called himself) just to make a scene about how Helm was going to marry Hera to a lord of gondor which is bad because Gondor has some nebulous hold over Rohan so Hera should marry Wulf instead (literally none of that, Freca simply asked Helm to wed his daughter to Wulf, his son, a completely normal and legitimate political strategy to secure a better relationship with the King's family since Helm already mistrusted him for having dunlending blood. Freca is a lord of Rohan, he is rich, he traces his ancestry back to King Freawine, this could not be a more reasonable suggestion in canon.)

SO OBVIOUSLY Helm had to get angry and call Freca fat again (true he did do that) and THEN claim that Freca only wanted his throne (there was never any suggestion of this in the books, it was just the offer of marriage which insulted Helm) to which Freca answered "Old kings that refuse a proffered staff may fall on their knees," and Helm is like okay lets take this outside.

And now THIS change is actually so important in understanding the extreme nature of the Rohir/Helm favouritism that is the main focus of this film. In the film Helm pretty much immediately takes Freca outside, he reassures Frealaf that Freca just needs to be shown his place, this is the only way to settle the matter, if he doesn't embarass him here then Freca will try to take his crown and slay his family apparently, his hunch ig etc etc. Freca punches Helm three times in full view of the whole of Edoras including Freca's two men who came with him, then Helm punches him back and he is knocked out cold and dead by the time he hits the ground. Film!Helm does not realise he has done this and tells Freca to get up, Wulf realises his father is dead and threatens Helm with revenge, swords are draw against him which he tries to calm before Wulf attacks him. Helm incapacitates Wulf, his sons draw THEIR swords and Helm exiles Wulf for drawing his sword on his king. Messy right? Like not a good thing to do, generally brawling with your lords is a bad idea full stop, but if you fear for the lives of your children then idk maybe it's excusable? And then it's just an unfortunate series of events right? And Freca was rude and insulting to a king in his own halls, heat of the moment etc etc

I feel so comfortable in telling you that Helm murders Freca in cold blood in the books, fully intending that to be the outcome.

He does not take him outside initially, Book!Helm tells Freca that this marriage dispute isn't important and they will deal with it later. And then;

When the council was over, Helm stood up and laid his great hand on Freca’s shoulder, saying: "The king does not permit brawls in his house, but men are freer outside"; and he forced Freca to walk before him out from Edoras into the field. To Freca’s men that came up he said: "Be off ! We need no hearers. We are going to speak of a private matter alone. Go and talk to my men!" And they looked and saw that the king’s men and his friends far outnumbered them, and they drew back. "Now, Dunlending," said the king, "you have only Helm to deal with, alone and unarmed. But you have said much already, and it is my turn to speak. Freca, your folly has grown with your belly. You talk of a staff! If Helm dislikes a crooked staff that is thrust on him, he breaks it. So!" With that he smote Freca such a blow with his fist that he fell back stunned, and died soon after. Helm then proclaimed Freca’s son and near kin the king’s enemies; and they fled, for at once Helm sent many men riding to the west marches.

(Appendices, 'The House of Eorl', emphasis mine)

I think we can all agree that forcing someone out of your city, isolating them away from their fellows with threats of violence, telling them you will break them, killing them in one blow and then proclaiming their kin your enemies and forcing them to flee to escape a murderous pursuit, is pretty clearly premeditated murder. There is not much nuance here, Freca tresspassed over a line with Helm that Dunlendings are not allowed to cross and Helm killed him for it.

And listen like, the description of this whole story within the appendices is barely more than three pages. This is not an obscure missable aspect of the tale, nor is it outside of what rights they had to adapt. The choice was made, actively, ONCE AGAIN by the Warner Bros cinematic universe makers, to drastically alter book events in order to sand down any immorality within Rohan's narrative, especially where the Dunlendings are concerned. And in the end the only 'mistake' Helm is allowed to learn and grow from is some nebulous and trite 'not believing enough in his daughter' schpiel, which needs to be the subject of a whole 'nother post actually.

And what's agonising is they COULD have done it like they were so close, there are multiple moments where me and my friend watching were like struck!! With grief! Over how impactful this moment could have been if only the racism actually existed as an acknowledged theme in the story. If only it was something Hera had to come to terms with, if only IT was the true driver of these horrors to the point where it's Avatar, Hera's father, a man who loves her and whom she has loved all her life, turns into a cold icey ghost of brutality, far more vicious and barbaric than the people he so reviles, and reveals to her the terrible truth of his actions and motivations. It's agony I tell you.

Anyway I did not like the film.

#text post #the war of the rohirrim #wotr #twotr #wotr spoilers #wotr critical #erran vs peter jackson #I should change that to vs warner bros

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weebsinstash · 1 year ago

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I'm sorry but I can't stop thinking about a certain angsty idea

Like pretty sure this is implying getting married is a canon event? But in a way, doesn't that kind of, really strip the choice and actual love and magic out of it? Or, could you at least understand the idea of a Spiderperson who may feel that way? Did you genuinely fall in love with someone if it was "supposed" to happen? And the universe could fall apart if you don't so you arent really even given a choice to say no? Isn't that like having a preprogrammed robot instead of a true lover?

Still kinda obsessed with the concept of a Spider Reader where you didn't get scouted by Miguel until after you had already lost your loved ones, but, it's clear that some Spiders are scouted before they have all of their events (Pav), and, I can't stop thinking about, you're in the Spider Society and making friends and having fun and stuff and you're. Still supposed to get married or have a relationship or something and you're just, completely avoiding having anything at all, not even dating anyone, nothing really feels natural to you and you just don't really want anything?

Months and months and months pass and you've turned multiple people down in your home dimension and Spiders at the Society are told not to interact with you in certain ways, which becomes overboard when no one ever seems to want to hug you or even high five you or touch you at all (because "oh don't let them get a crush on you, they can't break canon" or some dumb paranoia) which just eventually develops into isolating you from the Spider Society, and they all think, "ok good they'll spend more time at home and then start the route for this canon event and we can talk to them again" but it just. Doesn't happen. You're starting to show up to the Society less and less but the only thing that changes when you get back home is a loneliness that you fill with a pet and some platonic friends

Peter B is trying to "subtly" nudge you. "Ya know kid, aren't you in your 20s now? Isn't it time you try and, I dunno, get into college or something? You've got so much potential!" as he willingly omits how he met his wife in college and maybe it's in the model that you could meet your spouse there too as a potential option

But I like the idea and already lowkey established concept that canon changes and has tweaks here and there and can be bent in certain ways so, imagine like, idk, imagine Reader already being with the person who is supposed to your soul mate, and, you find out about The Model or whatever, the Arachno Humanoid Poly Mutiverse or whatever, and you just realize kind of on accident that, oh having a relationship at all is kind of just another prison for you to be in, huh? Another choice stripped away from you, another thing that made you feel like a rubber stamp in existence in the weird copy/paste Spider Society. So you just. You don't intentionally bomb the relationship but you become so extremely depressed and refuse to talk about it with your SO that they actually leave you, making the choice independently, changing canon but not breaking it

But here's Miguel, which I guess you could imagine as a protective obsessive romantic figure or even platonic parental, and he's all but grinding his teeth because, as he sees it, you're not only risking completely breaking your canon which you know Would Fucking Kill You, but, why are you constantly shooting down what are supposed to be good changes for your life? No relationships? No college? No aspirations at all? Why are you not living up to your full potential? He's so frustrated because he KNOWS you could "be better than this" and that you're "supposed to" be better than this, but you just seem. Depressed and defeated. He wants you to be better because it's better for your life, your future, your safety (even if depending on preference it absolutely gets under his skin to see you with anyone else romantically or sexually)

And I have no idea how they would externally force you into some kind of relationship but, I've also thought about, alternatively, the tried and true "Reader lost their home dimension but somehow didn't disappear and lives on Earth 928B now" (the movie specifics its 928b ok, pet peeve I know, 928 is comic Miguel, 928b is ATSV movie Miguel) and eventually, somehow, your bracelet comes off one day and you're about to freak out and it's like, wait, you aren't glitching??? Why aren't you glitching? I mean, you're happy to not be in pain and flashing colors, but, this doesn't make sense? And you don't wanna tempt fate but you don't bother to get a new bracelet or, other people are around to witness this weird event and so, Miguel is immediately investigating what happened. I imagine maybe they scan you with the Go Home Machine and it's just like "ha ha yeah you're home already :)" you know like some "Dimensional Match: 928B" and the machine doesn't even activate, it just scans you with the drone, is like "yeah you're good lmao" and goes back to sleep

And now Miguel is like, you know. Understandably concerned because now there are two Spiders for Nueva York, but, also, he's just like, unbeknownst to you absolutely over the moon necause if you're technically a part of his dimension now, maybe you can complete your canon and have some sort of happy ending. But. Miguel never had his wedding either? Or at least not the "true" one, like how Peter moves on from Gwen to Mary Jane? Cue Miguel suddenly spending suspicious amounts of time on his platform in the dark looking at holograms and algorithms and asking Lyla to calculate the probability of you two maybe becoming spouses for each other

AND YOU'RE SO FUCKED IF IT SAYS YOU CAN LMAO. Cause now not only is he all the more obsessed with you (you were BROUGHT to his dimension by a miracle, can't you SEE you're destined for each other) but now it's "don't you understand? Not only are we MEANT for each other, you don't have a choice! You CANT break canon!" And he's fucking putting a finger in your face and lecturing you about how, you know what, it's ok if you're scared and you're not ready. You know why? Because you two were made for each other, and, he must have been made to be this strong so he can protect you and make decisions on your behalf, right? It's all in The Model. It's all in God's Plan. The two of you are going to get married whether you think it's the love you're fantasizing about or not, and Miguel is more than thrilled that he was essentially just handed a certified excuse to keep you all to himself on a silver platter

Also. I guess this is preferential but. Imagine if Earth 928B's solution to two Spidermen, like how Miles' "corrected" itself with getting rid of blonde Peter, what if the universe and canon just went, "actually it's all cool though cause technically one of them isn't going to technically in name be a Spider anymore, they're going to be forcibly turned into a cute little pampered house spouse" and ON GOD he's getting children out of you if you're capable of it and that ISN'T optional. He's thinking you can start at AT LEAST three babies and then talk about how many more from there? He's always wanted a large family with lots of cute little girls and boys, you know 👉👈

#yandere x reader #yandere miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #yandere spidereverse #atsv spoilers #yandere stuff #sinprompts #also separate idea but. miguel who hates how you arent maximizing your potential and #essentially kidnaps you and since he sees you as perfect tries to force perfection out of you #platonic yandere dad slash tio Miguel who says no datingg whatsoever vs romantic yan miguel who forces you to date HIM

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sulevinen · 2 years ago

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getting back to the ”the morning after i killed myself” i feel like it would resonate with fox especially in the morning after he tried to end his life and he would just. read it over and over. he’d think about the people in his life, about the places he’s seen, about the things he has yet to fall in love with. he cries thinking about how only after death he could’ve found so many things to love. he cries because he almost didn’t fall in love.

and so fox decides to fall in love with his brothers. he falls in love with the way thorn braids his hair when he’s bored, how stone keeps bumping his head against cupboard doors, how thire complains about not being able to grow facial hair. how cody puckers his lips when he’s thinking hard, how rex’s eyes wander around the walls when he’s listening to music, how wolffe’s eyes light up when they see fox.

and then fox starts writing about all the new things he has grown to love. he finds the words and somehow twines them together, makes sentences that connect on some level. he tries to find adjectives to describe just how the sun shines from his brothers’ eyes, just how rex’s frown is a bit asymmetrical, just how he can feel the hollowness in his chest turn into something heavy, yet easy to carry.

he looks over it and knows his writing is not good, but it’s something. he has created something, of the things he loves, out of love. somewhere along the way maybe he falls in love with himself a bit as well.

he writes about his reflection in the mirror losing the eyebags and gaining some weight, getting a new haircut, having a smile on it’s face. the eyes are still red from the lack of sleep and they still look haunted by the horrors of war, but they’re less dull and more alive. he writes about the scars on his arms fading, the joints of his knees cracking more softly. he writes about the laughter he can laugh, about the stories he can tell, about the memories he can create. and he writes about how he doesn’t love himself yet, but he loves enough to stay.

what if in addition to fox’s special interest being linguistics, he also likes reading poetry

i don’t know how linguistics=liking poetry but just stay with me on this one

i got the idea from reading ”the morning after i killed myself” and while crying i just thought about fox and how this would be a poem he would relate to. i imagined him reading the saddest parts of literature and enjoying poetry about melancholic and sad things, because they offer him comfort, like oh, they’re expressing the feelings i’m feeling, in words that i don’t know how to say out loud.

fox isn’t good with words. well, he knows a lot of them and knows how to use them but he doesn’t know how to say them out loud. he doesn’t know how to explain himself, explain why he wants to cry all the time, why his heart is so heavy, why he feels so painfully numb. he barely understands it himself.

but these people, poets, are writing poems about just how he feels. they put his feelings into words he didn’t think of using, create sentences he could never put together. and it feels so freeing and just so relieving to find people who understand exactly what he’s going through without having to try to explain it further. the words are just there, on paper, and he understands them completely.

i just think that reading about peoples inner worlds that are so close to his own would give him comfort in a world where nobody has ever offered him even an ounce of understanding.

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grumfield · 4 months ago

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hi!. first of all, i'm absolutely obsessed with your blog, thank you for posting, i've never felt so validated reading someone's posts before. i'm currently falling deeply into the star wars abyss and i was wondering if you could recommend any books you personally liked (the angstier the better)? i'm a complete fandom newbie, so far I've only seen movies and clone wars season one, but id love to hear your opinion on what I should read next. if it's not a weird request. sorry if it is! have a nice day.

WAAAAH thank you so much!!! So glad you’re here and I’m SO HAPPY to recommend books to you because I was exactly in your position only a few months ago!

Okay. So the consensus within the fandom, especially if you’re an Obikin enjoyer (not sure if you are, but if you’re following me I suspect you at least find their platonic dynamic compelling), is that if you’re going to read one book it’s the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matt Stover, and I agree with this. I’m not someone who was ever interested in reading movie novelizations but this book single handedly changed my mind. It’s exceptionally well written and just has this pervasive sense of growing doom that’s super unsettling while also giving a lot of emotional dimension to all of the characters in ways that film really isn’t able to. There’s a lot of interesting choices that are made—Anakin’s fall feels explicitly like Palpatine is taking advantage of an oncoming mental health episode and pushing him to snap, Anakin’s perception of the Obi-Wan/Padmé affair is tied more to anxieties about the two people he loves most not wanting him around than infidelity…there’s a lot of scenes that are in the book that aren’t in the movie that really just hit like a gut punch.

It’s absolutely great for angst, it’s written in such a unique way and literally the last scene gave me full body chills when I first read it. Horrible, beautiful, highly recommend it. Also uses second person narration in ways that are very clever.

(Also, it like…portrays Obi-Wan as like. A repressed gay monk in love with his oblivious straight friend and it’s incredible)

Now for my more personal recommendations for after you read that, if you want more!

I am a massive Rogue Planet and Jedi Quest enjoyer. They are honestly the cornerstones of my characterizations for these characters. Despite being a singular book and a middle grade series respectively, I group them in the same category for their absolutely incredibly compelling way it portrays the foundation of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship—specifically how absolutely fucked it is in ways that aren’t super clear in the movies. They take place after the Phantom Menace and before AOTC, so cover Anakin’s time as Obi-Wan’s padawan.

Rogue Planet by Greg Bear follows Obi-Wan and Anakin on a mission when Anakin is 12 and there’s no way I can describe it other than it reading kind of like…what if the Virgin Mary was a permissive boymom who sucked at her job and the kid she’s raising has a 50/50 chance at being Jesus or Satan. Obi-Wan in this reads like the most 15 year old 28 year old ever, is still reeling from the death of Qui-Gon and has entered the motherhood phase of “my child is perfect and special and can do no wrong ever ever ever”. He’s extremely permissive and has hinged an unsettling amount of his hopes on Anakin’s role as the Chosen One because of his own personal issues. So when Anakin does shit like…oh I don’t know…accidentally explodes a man’s head with his mind…does things he isn’t supposed to Obi-Wan is like. Don’t Worry You Did Nothing Wrong I Will Ignore It.

And then hot on the tails of this is the Jedi Quest series by Jude Watson which follows their relationship after that on various missions as Anakin grow up. The series kind of focuses on the systemic ways in which Anakin leading up to AOTC was let down and what eventually drives his decisions later. Do not be fooled by it being a series for 12 year olds, it’s absolutely apeshit and additionally my favorite place for informing my perspective of their dynamic. Obi-Wan has gone from being boymom to being more emotionally distant as he tries to make Anakin be an “ideal jedi”. Jude Watson’s entire thesis is that like, Obi-Wan is not father brother or friend to Anakin, he is a Jedi, and does not have the tools to be anything else so his and Anakin needs and wants more. There’s this insane line at the end of book one where Anakin says like “Obi-Wan would come to love him. He would make him do so” which just acts as the through line for the entire series. the push and pull between someone who wants more and someone who consistently holds back creates this very unhealthy master-disciple dynamic that drives me insane. (I have kind of an uncharitable perspective of Obi-Wan because of this but it’s actually what made me love him even more, I prefer Jude Watson’s portrayal of him to almost any other author)

Anyways that’s my long drawn out first 3 recommendations to you lol! If you like them (or if you don’t!) feel free to come back and I’d be happy to chat with you more <33

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orchideous-nox · 2 months ago

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Fanfic recommendation query: Are you a good person to ask for a Rosekiller recommendation? Under 50k words, and complete? (if the answer is yes, could you tag the recommendation as... rosekiller trial?) I've never read a thing about them, and I'm interested in some good characterisations. I have a good shape of Barty in my head, but...

Absolutely! I have a few I've written myself in my masterlist but I love recommending other people's fics too so here's some that meet your criteria from ao3 (there are many more I could include that are either longer or incomplete so if you ever want more let me know!) I also have no idea if you are a minor...if you are then this is not the blog for you, I'm so sorry. This is 80% smut but the characterisation is still there.

my way or the highway by heartnipnops // nsfw // 6.1k words

While going on a road trip to visit Evan's sister, Evan learns just how much of a menace Barty can be when bored in a car. Luckily Evan spots an exit leading to a gas station with a bathroom not long after, allowing him the opportunity to teach his brat of a boyfriend a lesson.

sharpshooter by heartnipnops // nsfw // 4.7k words

After spending far too long unable to, due to Evan's strict rules during exam season, Barty finally gives Evan a rather sloppy and messy blowjob in the nearest bathroom after Evan's last oral exam. Barty's take on an oral exam turns out to be quite a bit more pleasant than what Evan had to deal with.

Closing Hours by MajorToast // nsfw // 3.8k words

A minimum wage job – one of the supporting pillars of consumer behaviour… and Evan’s personal hell. But – oh well – that’s what you’re getting for chasing the thrill rather than logic, or – in other words – sell crack to children. It’s a last-ditch effort for him to turn his life around, abandon his wicked ways. And it would have worked – hadn’t it been for his utterly stupid (and unfairly handsome) coworker, Bartemius Crouch Jnr.

Game On by MajorToast // nsfw // 4.9k words

To win Evan over, Barty needs to win the 2023 League of Legends Championship. A dare, that not only ends with a lesson learned, but also the fuck of Barty’s life. Two can play that game.

Love You Better by star4daisy // sfw // 11k words

the one where Barty and Evan try to love each other better in entirely different ways

Barty Crouch Jr. and The Terrible Inconvenience of Having a Fit Best Friend by localwolfgoesawooo // nsfw // 8.1k words

Barty is an emotionally repressed, oblivious prat, who thinks his best friend is the most gorgeous person in the world - in a strictly platonic way, of course. When a bloke Barty deems unworthy chats up Evan - makes him laugh - Barty inserts himself into their conversation. You know, since he’s such a good friend.

stoned off you (now i'm stone cold sober) by 214lilacsky // nsfw // 30.5k words

Barty Crouch Jr. is pretty sure he could go his whole life without finding love. Who needs it? He has Regulus, Dorcas, Pandora. He has a steady job, even if it is boring as fuck. He finally has a body he can stand looking at in the mirror.

One thing he absolutely cannot go without is consistent and reliable access to weed.

Enter: Barty's new dealer, Evan Rosier aka Rosie, aka the man who has got Barty down bad.

a double-edged sword by faun_writes_things // nsfw // 6.9k words

a double-edged sword (idiom); a situation with an equally good or bad outcome.

ex; barty hitting on the new next-door neighbor, who may or may not hate his guts.

Under A Spell, You're Hypnotized by spoonstars // nsfw // 3.5k words

Barty really wants to know how a dick piercing feels, so him and Evan brew polyjuice so he can find out.

Ant Pile by sommerregenjuniluft // nsfw // 21.3k words

This is a story about two boys raised by the sun.

Florida heat, being a teenager, best friends and how falling in love works when you've already loved them for as long as you can remember.

#rosekiller trial #i promise these aren't all by my friends #rosekiller fanfiction #rosekiller fanfic recommendations #rosekiller #rosekiller fic #marauders #hp marauders #marauders era #dead gay wizards from the 70s #marauders fanfiction #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #fic recommendation #fic recs

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pensbridge · 6 months ago

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A lil rant about cast shipping

OH. MY. GOD.

The commentary about actor personal relationships has actually made me scared to come on here. When any related hashtags trend, I'm like "WHY?"

This happens in every fandom, but I honestly give props to the Bridgerton actors for keeping composure and not leading with resentment towards the life changing dream that feeds them or the stupid quote-unquote fans that need to focus on the show, because I could never! Also, that 99% of their actors successfully remain private, which I completely understand why when people act the way they do.

And why they try to protect some of their private lives..maybe clearly exhibited in the fact that some of you did this the last time! -that people were so intrusive, (coming from someone who's not even that in the know and very out of the loop until large amounts of attention are brought to it) that his last gf seemed visibly overwhelmed by some of the total lack of boundaries. And that the threats over "rejecting" a fictional character & "he should be w/her" apparently went too far that Nicola had to willingly step in. And if you think, "it's harmless, I of course would never do that"... these parasocial relationships foster a following to people that will absolutely do that and join your hive mentality.

But, seriously..thinking that anything was done wrong here by the cast...Let me break down these arguments, because I've actually been biting my tongue on this:

"Finding out he had a gf ruined the show for me because of the premiere." I think it's time for therapy, and learning to separate fiction from reality.

Perhaps this is where some of the pre-conceived notions & outrage for the show came from (idk).

"If he would have waited, it would have been better and we could accept it." You liar! NEXT.

"But he lied. I feel cheated. They both led us on to believe what they wanted us to." This is laughable. They told 98 billion times that they were friends, they flat out said they weren't dating before Part 1 even hit the screens, and you were like "they're lying! hehehe. They don't know themselves.." including interviewers in the final stretch, which is so so pathetic of them

People were flat out telling you that they weren't dating & about personal relationships (fyi I think Nicola has had a long-term bf as well; so sad 4 u~honestly not positive on this but i think), and fans were very much NOT discreet about these significant others on every platform.

"I hate that it's PR." Again, I don't think they lied to you about being friends. I don't even think they played up aspects of their relationship. There's a great read somewhere on why they fall back on handholding and being affectionate. I honestly feel sorry for some of you that there's such a harsh line between what's platonic and what's romantic/that every affectionate interaction for you=romantic love and 'we should date.' If you're stupid and see what you want, that's on you.

If you're one of these people, know that I hate you. The press reaction is honestly the worst part of every single one of these shows.

The entitlement of this fandom knows no bounds (thank God some of you are sane).

#i found out thru a grown a** woman ranting on tt; Let that sink in #Do you rly think it takes 5 years for ppl to decide they want to be together???#<..dear god they ACTUALLY connected them to the characters #...except they are adults unlike polin when they met #bridgerton #luke newton #nicola coughlan

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hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch · 1 year ago

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A demon's victims

Summary: You're a demon in the year 2023 and all you want is some fun and a new girl, well exactly what your looking for walks into a cafe you were occupying, maybe your hundreds of years of being around was finally about to pay off, especially when Wanda's ex interrupts you

Also demons are known in this universe but they're not just walking around, so it's still a little unusual seeing them around

Relationships: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff (platonic/best friends), Wanda Maximoff/Demon!Reader, Natasha Romanoff/Demon!Maria Hill

Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Demon!Reader, Demon!Maria Hill, Natasha Romanoff, Loki

Warnings: Minors DNI! Blood, swearing, talking about Smut (no actual smut, not yet ;)) Let me know if I've missed anything

Words: 3,900

A/N: There will be a part two but I don't know when it'll come out, probably soon though

“She’s so pretty” you looked across the room at the lovely brunette that just walked in, looking around nervously but when her eyes finally settled on who she was looking for her body relaxed and she smiled making her way over to her friend

Loki scoffed as he watched you basically drool over a stranger “don’t you have any dignity?”

“Says the riddler knock off to the spawn of satan” you spared a glance to the man giving him a wink and looking back at the woman now sat with her friend laughing about something

“So what’s your plan? Stare at her like you’re in a romance movie until she falls in love with how possessive and crazy you are?”

“Hey! I’m not crazy” you said taking the brownie from the man’s plate and eating it

“But you are possessive?”

You laughed “damn right I am, what’s mine is mine and no one can take those things from me” your head perked back up after hearing her laugh again “and I can’t wait to have her all to myself”

************************************************

“Nat stop you’re too funny!”

“I'm not lying though Wanda! He's so robotic, did it feel like doing it with a toaster?"

Wanda shoved Nat playfully getting her out of the solum mood she was in "seriously Wanda I am sorry about the whole thing, but maybe its for the best, let's go out tonight!"

"Oh I don't think-

Nat carried on "shh its gonna be great there's a club near here, and we'll definitely be there"

Wanda sighed but agreed none the less "okay sure, yeah it'll be fun"

You smiled overhearing the whole conversation and turning to Loki

"Time to get your dancing shoes on"

He groaned "why do I have to go with you?"

"My wingman"

"You have your own wings Y/n I don't need to hold them"

You really didn't think you'd have to explain a simple sentence to a man younger than you

"Loki I'm thousands of years older than you why do you act older than me?"

"Just to piss you off"

The music was way too loud for you and you absolutely hated it but anything for a pretty woman

"Fix your face Y/n" Loki pushed a drink into your hand bringing you out of your thoughts "I will when she walks in, we've been here 2 hours and she hasn't come yet"

"Don't be so sad my little demon, look who just walked in" Loki gestured to the door and you quickly spun to look and see Wanda and her friend walk in "oh wow, she looks incredible"

Loki scoffed "she's in jeans and a t-shirt"

"You're wearing khakis you dork" you spat back but the man just laughed "yes but I'm not trying to manipulate a woman"

You rolled your eyes " not manipulation, more like coercion using my incredible flirting skills"

"Well go on then, go and get your little victim"

You straightened yourself up downing the rest of your drink and kissing Loki on the cheek to which he pushed you away quickly "you know I hate when you touch me!"

"I love you too my green obsessed little weirdo"

*******************************************************

"So you're completely sure you're not looking for anything?"

Nat had been looking between Wanda and a figure in the corner when she asked and Wanda looked at her oddly "why do you ask? And who are you looking at?" Wanda spun around searching for the figure and her eyes landed on you

You blew her a kiss in response and a wink making the woman blush and Nat giggle, turning around she slapped Nat on the arm "hey! That hurt" Nat joked "She's been staring at you ever since we came in"

Wanda smiled "do you think she likes me?"

Nat rolled her eyes "Wanda I mean this in the best possible way, it doesn't matter if she likes you likes you, she probably just wants to fuck you and that's fine! Go have fun"

"Nat! Why do have to be so crass?" She turned around again taking a glance at you, when you waved back she turned back and took a deep breath "okay I think I'm gonna go over" she didn't move and that made Nat laugh

"Wands you actually need get up and do something"

She shook her head "I can't"

***********************************************************************

"Bless her, she's nervous, good that'll make her blood taste better"

"I don't know what you're narrating but it's weird" Loki slid up to you pulling you out of your thoughts and you jolted "dude! I was in the zone"

"That was awful never say those words again"

"Anyway, see you later" you started walking over the two looking to the bartender for two whiskeys which you picked up on the way

"Hey pretty ladies, whiskey for you both?" You placed the drinks down onto the table standing above Wanda seeing the blush crawl up her neck

"Why thank you handsome" Nat graciously took the drink taking a sip "mhmm sweet, thanks"

You offered her a sweet smile "only sweet drinks for some sweet ladies"

You watched the two exchange glances back and forth and decided to take the first move placing your hand on Wanda's shoulder feeling her tense "are you okay princess? You seem a little tense, do you need some air?"

When she didn't answer Nat answered for her "she definitely needs some air, I trust you to take care of my girl"

"I'll return her in perfect condition"

Nat nudged Wanda making her jump up and practically in your arms making you laugh "a little jumpy? Come on?"

You looked to her friend

"She's called Wanda and I'm Nat"

You thanked her "thanks Natalia, I'm Y/n, come on Wanda"

*****************************************************************

She hadn't said anything since you took her outside "are you okay Wanda?"

She quickly nodded "y-yeah I'm okay just nervous I guess"

You smiled holding in a laugh "there's nothing to be nervous of, I do want to say you're very pretty"

She looked up at you and you put your hand on her face stroking her cheek with your thumb

"You think I'm pretty?"

You nodded "I think you're fucking beautiful actually"

She smiled pushing forward to kiss you suddenly making you pull back suddenly, something you definitely didn't want to do looking at her now shocked face

"Oh god I'm so sorry-

You shushed her with your finger "no no Wanda it's okay I just wasn't expecting you to be so forward"

She started shivering and you pulled off your jacket giving it to her "let's go back inside, if you still want to suck face there's a private room I have a key too"

Wanda smiled at you hugging the jacket tighter around herself "this is not going as well as I thought it would do, I've just come out of a 4 year relationship with a man"

You chuckled "you're so cute, if you want to take things slow I understand"

She shook her head "no no I need to do something stupid"

"Trust me I am so stupid, I didn't even know my best friend was flirting with me until they flat out asked to sleep with me"

Wanda looked at you oddly

"Oh I didn't sleep with him, definitely not into men, anyway come on it's going to rain"

You led her back into the building but instead of going back to her table you directed her through a small room closing the door behind you both

Wanda looked around the small room admiring the small amount of light throughout the room and the small refrigerator

"Theres some water in there if you want one" you said sitting down on the small couch leaving a space for Wanda which she took gladly scooting herself close enough to you that she was basically on your lap so you decided to fill the gap pulling her onto your lap straddling you making her squeal

"Y/n!" She laughed grabbing your shoulders to keep from falling and nuzzled her face in your neck

"You were practically on my knee anyway so why not?"

There was a nice silence that filled the air for a few moments before Wanda lent forward asking to kiss you this time, you smirked and lent forward connecting your lips, soft as first but then turned hungry with both of you fighting for dominance, you won that battle when your fingers dug into her hips and she gasped letting your tongue in

When air finally became a problem, for Wanda at least, you and your demon lungs couldn't care less, she pulled back breathing heavily "woah, you're great at kissing"

You both laughed still keeping close to each other "so, am I better than a man?"

She lightly slapped your arm "don't bring him up when I'm straddling you"

There was a sharp knock on the door making you both jump and Wanda quickly eft your lap much to your dismay "I'm killing whoever just interrupted us"

begrudgingly you got up and opened the door and it slammed opened nearly knocking you over

"Wanda what the fuck are you doing with this fuck girl?!"

The man stormed in with a stressed looking Natasha behind him, when you glanced at her she mouthed a sorry

"hey woah who the fuck are you?" You tried remaining calm but this douchebag wasn't helping you

You looked to Wanda who was looking to the floor scared to say anything so you tried again "hey dickhead!" He finally looked at you "are you her ex?"

He rolled his eyes "we're on a break but she didn't say anything about fucking other people"

Nat scurried behind you hugging Wanda close while you dealt with the situation "okay well I was under the impression that you two broke up and I'll be honest by the look of Wanda right now she's right"

He scoffed squaring up to you and you had to hold back a laugh "oooh big man are you? How about you calm down and just take a fucking seat"

He didn't listen and pushed you

"Ooooh okay I see how this is going to go" you laughed pushing him back to the ground with strength that surprised him "what the hell?"

Your eyes glowed red as you knelt down to him close and growled "you need to stay away from Wanda, if I hear you have come anywhere near her I will make it my mission to make you so fucking miserable for the rest of your pitiful life and it won't be a long life trust me"

To Wanda and Nat they couldn't hear anything you were saying and Wanda was getting nervous "what's happening?"

"I don't know Wands, it'll be okay though, were you enjoying yourself before we barged in?"

The woman blushed and Nat resisted shouting in joy instead whisper shouting "oooooh you little devil, I don't blame you, she's really hot"

At that moment Wanda's ex jumped up and bolted for the door, you turned around still with your red eyes and looked at the women "he won't bother you anymore princess"

"What's wrong with your eyes?...."

You sighed deciding you couldn't be bothered to hide anymore, maybe they wouldn't run out of the room screaming "I'm a demon okay? A soul sucking hell dweller who thrives on the pain from humans"

The women looked at you warily so you stepped forward giving your hand to Wanda to grab which she did "Wanda, what do you have to say?"

"You're a really good kisser" it was a whisper but you heard it laughing along with her

"Wanda are you serious? She's a demon! Pretty sure they are evil"

The woman shrugged "honestly Nat I've been through so much shit what's the worse a demon could do?"

"You're amazing, I can't wait to get you in bed" you yanked her close, kissing down her neck sucking purple marks into the skin hearing her groan but pulled away not wanting to get ahead of yourself "you're going to be my favourite meal"

Nat was sick of being left out "well if we're sleeping with demons now do you have a friend? I imagine demons are hard to come by separately"

You laughed "actually I do, do you like men or women?"

Nat was taken aback but answered "oh you do? Okay women"

"Okay" you fished your phone out of your pocket dialling a number "hey Maria what are you doing? Well I've got a girl here, no shut up we're not sharing stop asking for it, just get down here now, yeah she's really hot"

You waited a minute before turning to Nat "what's your blood type?"

"Why?" Nat asked cautiously

You shook your head "just demon reasons"

"O negative"

You nodded speaking back into the phone "O negative, yeah yeah I know it's common, least it's not O positive"

After a few more minutes another knock at the door interrupted you and you hung up the phone going to open the door revealing a brunette woman leaning against the door "is that my suit?"

She rolled her eyes "you have like 800 suits Y/n let me have 1 blue one" she pushed through the door and smiled at the women "hello beautiful ladies" she pointed to Wanda "by the way you're looking at Y/n I can tell you're not mine, but you" she pointed to Nat trying to hide her smile "you want me" walking up to Nat she held her hand out

"I'm Maria"

Nat took a hold of her hand and Maria twisted it to bring it to her lips placing a kiss to her knuckles

"I'm Natasha"

"A beautiful name for a beautiful woman, not to be forward but I have a really comfortable bed and it's so lonely without a hot woman there"

You scoffed "Maria what did I tell you about awful pick up lines?! Its 2023 now, you have to be respectful"

"That was respectful! I told her my bed was comfortable, nothing more respectable than that"

You took hold of Wanda's hand "okay well you two have fun, Wanda and I are going to go"

"Where are we going? I don't really want to leave Nat"

Before you could reply Maria proposed an idea "why don't we all go back to our house? I'm sure Loki can be somewhere for the night"

"Fine, but we're not having sex with these ladies in the same room, last time we did that it didn't end well"

Maria burst out laughing "that sounds so sinister Y/n! We promise nothing bad happened ladies, just a few sore thighs and raw backs, a few bite marks, but no one died"

That didn't fill the two with much confidence so you kissed Wanda on the cheek "I promise you'll be treated like works of art, fragile and delicate"

Wanda shrugged "I'm not that delicate"

Your breath hitched "oh? So I can do whatever I want to you? I can use your body as my canvas?"

Using your fingers you started to trace patterns on her exposed skin under her shirt but Maria stopped you "hey hey I know how you get with your fingers, let's go back to the house, where's you car?"

You shrugged never letting your eyes leave Wanda's body "forget the car, lets just apparate"

"Pretty sure that would make these two sick"

"Not if we distract them with kisses"

Maria turned back to Natasha "we can take an uber if you want to be more comfortable?"

Wanda managed to look away from you to Nat "come on Nat you're normally the one making me do crazy things"

Nat felt a headache coming on, crazy things are good and fine but absolutely fucking stupid sleeping with demons crazy things were not on her bingo card

"Listen to your friend little red, Maria here will take such good care of you"

Nat glanced between the 3 of you and just sighed "thank you Maria I think I'd be more comfortable in an Uber as long as Wanda's okay"

Wanda nodded "I'm absolutely fine Nat" turning back to you "let's go!" She jumped into your arms wrapping her legs around you tight "hold on tight honey" you two apparated away leaving Maria and Nat alone

"Now that we're alone how about we have fun here?" Maria took her suit jacket off revealing a sleeveless shirt showing off her defined muscles

"How are you so muscular?!" Nat blurted out quickly covering her mouth is slight embarrassment but Maria just laughed throwing her jacket to the sofa "oh honey I am a demon, I love going to the gym and pissing men off with my muscles"

Nat was stunned "god you could bench press me so much" she whispered and Maria smiled "I could do so much more than that detka"

Nat gasped "you speak Russian?"

"I know you're Russian, so why not try and impress you"

"If you can cook I'll get on knees right now"

Maria smirked "I make an incredible beef Wellington"

Nat laughed stalking forward kissing Maria hard both of them falling onto the couch, Nat straddling Maria and Maria placing her hands on her hips, when she pulled away Nat was breathless while Maria wasn't "it's weird how you don't have breathe"

The demon shrugged "I find it helps in certain situations"

Nat rolled her eyes knowing full well what she meant but refusing to acknowledge it

"I do want to ask a favour from you"

Nat raised an eyebrow "oh?"

"Let me taste you"

"Taste me how?" She said with a suggestive tone

"Well eventually the way you're thinking off, but no I mean something sweet and red" Maria licked her lips honing in on her neck

"Woah! My blood?!" Nat tried pulling away but Maria kept a close hold on her "shh honey I promise it'll be fine, why do you think Y/n asked for your blood type?"

"Well I was little preoccupied actually, I still can't believe any of this!"

Maria calmed Nat down "okay okay, have you ever given blood?"

Nat nodded still not relaxed in Maria's hold but not trying to move away much "it's just like giving blood, two little pin pricks in your neck, a slight pain and some dizziness then you're all good"

Maria's logic made a little bit of sense but Nat was still unsure "you won't kill me?"

"I wouldn't kill a beautiful woman like you, I promise just a little bite and then I'll fuck you so hard you forget all about your neck pain"

"Okay"

"Maria grinned gently grabbing a hold of Nat's hair pulling to the side for more access to her neck. She kissed a sweet spot hard making it tender enough for her fangs to go right through it.

"Relax honey, your heart is racing, it'll be a lot less painful if you breathe, come on let's breathe"

Nat relaxed and focused on her breathing then on the feeling of Maria's hands that started stroking the skin on her back, gently scratching her

"That's it" Maria said finally piercing the skin feeling the blood coat her mouth making her groan at the taste

Nat's legs started to give out and Maria felt that gently sitting the both of them down on the couch still drinking the blood, when she finally had her fill she slowly pulled away licking the holes until they sealed up.

Nat's body was slightly limp weakly pulling herself up to look at Maria "hey pretty girl, thank you for letting me drink from you"

"Mhhph okay" her eyes closed and she was asleep in seconds sticking to Maria's body "yeah, I think we'll be keeping you two, if Y/n can get Wanda to give in just as easily as you"

Maria kissed her cheek leaving a blooded mark making her giggle, what a fun time she'll have with her in the future

*******************************************************************

"Jesus Christ that was wild, give me a few minutes please" you placed Wanda down on your bed kissing her forehead "I know baby it's okay it's a little weird as first but it gets easier every time"

"So I have a little question for my pretty girl" you asked walking to your closet to take your suit jacket and shirt leaving you in a sports bra and trousers, Wanda was watching you closely half paying attention

"You can ask me whatever you want wearing that"

You laughed going back to the bed sitting next to a now sat up Wanda "good, so obviously I'm a demon and I'm glad you're okay with it, but do you know what that means?"

Shaking her head no you let her straddle you letting her get comfy before continuing "it means that I like to drink blood"

"Like a vampire?"

You closed your eyes growling "no and don't ever compare me to those soul sucking leaches ever again"

"Oh okay, I'm sorry"

You soothed her stroking your hands along her jean covered thighs "it's okay, vampires and demons just don't get along that well, anyway the reason I say about drinking blood is because I think you'll have some delicious blood"

"You want to drink from me?" She asked innocently and you loved it "yes princess, I promise it won't hurt much, just like two pin pricks in your neck"

Your explanation made it slightly better "okay you promise you won't hurt me?"

You chuckled "what happened to not being delicate?"

"Yeah well spanking me and biting me are two different things" your eyes widened "spanking? Bloody hell Wanda, maybe I'll skip the blood"

You both laughed but you couldn't wait anymore, you started kissing her neck, finding a spot you liked sucking hard making the skin soft enough for your fangs, when it was soft enough you pierced the skin hearing a groan from Wanda making you suck harder, fuck her blood was delicious!

Having your fill, you finally stopped drinking and licked the holes in her skin to close them up "thank you princess for letting me drink from you"

Wanda's whole body felt heavy with her whole weight on your body, she was definitely sleepy "you can sleep honey I'll be here when you wake up" Wanda's eyes were closed already, yep definitely asleep already.

Your phone in your pocket buzzed making Wanda shift slightly but you shushed her kissing her hair when she stopped, you looked at your phone

Maria to Y/n

How'd you do?

She's delicious

We're talking about blood right?

For now ;)

Ugh whatever, Nat's blood is good too, so we keeping them?

Oh hell yeah!

Your phone buzzed with another message from someone else

Loki to Y/n

Did u get your victim? I came in the house B4 but heard groaning so left

For the love of satan just start spelling things correctly!

But yeah I did and so did Maria, you can come back into the house she's asleep

Asleep? Did a bad job did u?

Fuck you I just drank some of her blood so she's very tired now

Yeh K sure that's the reason

😠 don't you ever 'K' me again you asshole!

🥰 Luv u

You threw your phone to the side choosing to kill Loki later letting yourself lay down bringing Wanda with you making her comfortable "we'll have so much fun together"

#wanda maximov #wanda maximoff #marvel #mcu #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #marvel au #marvel imagine #loki laufeyson #nat x maria #maria hill #demon!y/n #wanda maximoff x you #maria hill x natasha romanoff #Maria Hill

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hoverboards-and-dragons · 8 months ago

Note

What are you hoping to see in the next season for Hazbin? How do you think they will portray Lucifer and Lilith’s current relationship?

I, for one, am hoping for some Eden and The Fall flashback episodes.

In absolute complete honesty, I like the Fall and Eden being vague, I want blurry references that reveal it was way messier and complex than the prologue implied but leave most details up for interpretation, like it was clearly a traumatizing event for all involved but everyone talks around it in different ways and we never know exactly what happened

i really enjoy the fan discussion around it and I think it carries more weight in that form, I also don't exactly trust the tone of the show to sell the larger than life concepts involved and those are not the moments you wanna accidentally undercut

I want a Dramatic Reunion!! I want Lilith expecting Lucifer to be mad and he's just so relieved she's okay, despite everything I don't need them to be romantic but I still want deep platonic care, not just exes who tolerate each other but like the first person you'd ask to help you hide a body no questions asked level friendship, their love is shaking no matter the form even if they figured they don't work very well together together

I also hope we get rebel leader Lilith, she makes a grand entrance and you can feel the entire atmosphere of hell down to the brimstone changed by her presence, just like 'oh yeah, that's what Heaven meant by threat'

I hope Adam stays dead and haunts the shit out of the narrative, I want Heaven under extreme pressure now that the first man has fucked up so spectacularly, Charlie gets a good long look at how dedicated to cruelty Heaven is capable of being, Eve gets dragged in, Cain, Able and Seth, Lute's vengeance, like entirety of the stakes in frame around how hard this immortal soul crashed and burned and now everything is 1000x more real and more terrifying

Adam and Eve should get flashbacks

More exploration of the concept of freewill, tying back to Charlie's questioning in the good of Heaven, tying back to Lilith arrival

Lucifer doubted the good in hell, a sinner has been redeemed, Lilith will represent the next real hurtle, the only way to be listened to, is to pose a threat because Heaven doesn't care

Just like Lucifer, I hope she's flawed but loving, and far more direct way just a "Charlie, Our People are down here, not up there"

I don't care who's side they come down on either way as long are both are given a good shake

this is getting long I should stop

Illusions to God/Good but not yet a direct appearance

#didnt even get into the archangels damn #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hellaverse #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin hotel headcanons #hazbin hotel eve #lucilith #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel adam

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child0feden · 1 month ago

Text

A LIFE TO LIVE

bård “ faust ” eithun x reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter

♡ general headcanons for bård as a girl dad!

୨୧ this is very much long overdue since i got the pregnancy headcanons posted quite a while ago now! this was kind of hard to do in some ways since i was trying to write around him being in prison and such but hopefully it is still at least a little coherent hehe! is this good? i hope this is good <3

♡ view my metal masterlists here and here

reading music recommendations: the right way around by daughter - almost fantasy by fog lake

♡ to say that bård just completely fell in love with your daughter as soon as she was born would be one of the biggest understatements in the whole damn book!

୨୧ i mean, he was already in love with her when she was still growing and resting safely inside of your womb but when she was actually born? when he finally got to hold her small form in his arms and gently stroke her soft face? his love grew in ways he did not even think were possible, he thought he had already reached the maximum amount of love his heart could hold but he was oh so wrong and his heart only began to overflow with more true love from the minute she was placed in his arms for the first time…

♡ it might come as a surprise but the many restless nights that came after you gave birth to your daughter would later become just some of bårds absolute favourite memories to think back on later in life! though he often has trouble explaining exactly why he misses that tiring time in particular

୨୧ maybe he just misses awaking to her high pitched cries after what felt like just minutes of falling asleep next to you in your shared bed… maybe he just misses the rush of protectiveness that surged through his tired brain as the fog of sleep quickly cleared and he made sure you were still sleeping peacefully beside him before getting out of bed… maybe he misses picking your daughter up from her comfortable little cot that sits just beside your shared bed and pressing a loving kiss to her soft brown hair before gently bouncing her in a soothing motion as he rests his cheek down against her head to smell her hair… maybe he misses how quickly her cries would quiet down as soon as she was in his arms and how her breathing would even out as she fell back to sleep in his arms before he took her back to your shared bed to spend the rest of the night on his chest instead of in her crib…

♡ i mean, seriously! bård was just such a pro at calming her cries and every single time she got even a little upset, all she seemed to want was to be held in her fathers arms and to hear his gentle voice cooing down at her little cherub face as he brought his warm thumb up to wipe away her tiny tears from her apple red cheeks

“ oh, skatten min… you’re okay now, i have you… ” ( his voice is always so beyond soft and gentle whenever he speaks to her, he is a naturally very quiet speaker anyways but with his little baby girl? he speaks almost in a whisper and chuckles quietly when he hears her squeaks in response to hearing his voice directed at her )

୨୧ of course you could always calm her down and soothe her too but no one seems to do it better than bård does and she seems to just quiet down so much quicker in his arms than yours, she is very obviously a major daddys girl who simply views his arms as the safest and warmest place on this earth!

♡ soothing your daughter just came so incredibly natural to bård! the feelings of protectiveness that surges through his body and the overpowering needs to comfort her when she needs it most are so strong and so blatant in his mind no matter how tired he may be, no matter how exhausted he may be, both you and your daughter sit right at the very front of his mind at all times

୨୧ if your newborn daughter is having a bit of trouble getting back to sleep even after having quieted down from her cries in his arms, bård will usually plant a kiss on your sleeping face before leaving your shared bedroom with your daughter held comfortably in his arms to warm up some milk for her! he would stand by the small window of your apartment kitchen as the milk slowly heated up, his arm gently bouncing her up and down as his free hand points out towards the moon that shines through the glass pane before mumbling down to her about how beautiful it is whilst she stares up at him with sleepy brown doe eyes that mirror his own tired eyes

“ look at that moon, skatten min… you see it, hm? the moon is beautiful but you are much more beautiful, huh? yeah, i think you are… ” ( his face may be riddled with obvious exhaustion from so many sleepless nights with your newborn but a loving smile is still painted across his lips and admiration of his baby is still swirling around so heavily in his eyes as he looks down at her small form in his arms )

♡ when bård has fed her and made sure to burp her too, he is quick to join you back in your warm shared bed with your daughter still held in his arms as he lays flat on his back beside you, stretching his free arm around your sleeping body as you instinctively curl into his side whilst his occupied arm cradles your daughter safely atop his chest… he watches as her chocolate eyes begin to droop before falling completely closes as her breathing evens out and she falls asleep on his chest, very obviously soothed by her fathers soft breathing as his chest would slowly rise up before falling… only when he knows she is fast asleep and secure on top of him is when he will press a final kiss to her head before allowing himself to catch some well deserved winks too…

୨୧ this is where things get ever so slightly messy because in my mind, bård was arrested before your daughter had even turned one! he was swooped up by police just months after her birth but to go along accurately instead of inaccurately just for extra heartbreak, because he was serving a longer sentence than most bård did get weekends of very much temporary freedom to come home to you and his daughter every couple of months and he treasured those weekends so deeply, he did the absolute most he could ever think of doing with the both of you during those short weekends that seemed to fly by far too fast for his liking

♡ when bård had to leave you and your daughter, she could still easily be held in the crook of one arm but by the time he was allowed his first weekend leave, she was already a sweet little toddler with chubby cheeks who was quickly approaching her second birthday! of course he had seen her prior to his leave through simple prison visits when you would bring her along with you to see her father but seeing her outside of the cold feeling visitation room? getting to cuddle both you and her for a whole day with no fear at the back of his mind that it has to come to an end in just a short hour or two? it felt so different and so much more comforting to him, it felt so much more warm for him to wake up beside you in bed before having breakfast and watching cartoons with your daughter… it felt just like old times… it felt like just what he knew life would have been if not for what he had done… he so clearly knew this was the life he could be living every single day instead of occasional weekends if not for what happened that night and every time he has to go back in after a weekend out of prison, his heart seems to break all over again until he tries to just look on the bright side of hopefully getting another leave soon…

୨୧ the first few prison leaves is when his heart would break the most when it was time for him to go back to prison, that is when his heart would completely shatter in his chest at the realisation of just what his life is and will be for years now, it almost always used to end in long hugs being shared between the three of you and many tears being shed but over time, bård does get better at handling his emotions when it is time for him to go and he learns to focus on comforting your daughter as she clings on to him instead of accidentally making her more upset at the sight of her father crying too! do not get me wrong, his heart still breaks when he has to go back to prison but he gets better at hiding it from your daughter who still does not fully understand why she only gets to see him in a cold room or on distant weekends, he only really shows his heartbreak to you in the night before he has to go back where he will almost always completely break down in your arms as you cuddle up in bed

♡ if by some strange miracle bård did not get caught for the murder, it probably would not really change all that much about his feelings in some ways

୨୧ without being caught, he more so just lives with a strong sense of fear and nervousness constantly lurking in his mind as he wonders if every single day will be the day that he finally gets caught and had to leave the two of you! he would almost always be looking over his shoulder and would not even really enjoy leaving the house all that much out of worry that someone would see him and know something about what happened that night… the crippling feelings that surround him hurt so bad, they make him feel so strangely alienated as he realises his daughter will never have a normal father and it pains him to constantly have to think that any day could be his last day of freedom with his family so really, there is no majorly better way for it to turn out as bård would be deeply hurting in both outcomes…

♡ but enough of all that sad stuff, right? let me not just make you guys all melancholic and upset! let me just go back to all of the fluffy moments between him and your small family

୨୧ before everything terrible happened and your daughter was still a newborn, bård used to take her to helvete to visit your shared friend group all the time! sometimes you would join him but other times, you would just let him take her while you stayed back at your shared apartment and had some relaxation on his demand that you deserved it after giving him his baby, that you deserved to have a peaceful nap and a hot bath whilst he took her out for the day! every time, he would leave you with a slightly longing kiss to your soft lips before leaving your shared apartment with your daughter laying comfortably in her warm pram

♡ bård already very much knows he has a perfect little girl! from the second she was born and he got to admire her beautiful little face as she was held in his arms, he had been completely baffled as to how he had any part in co-creating something so beyond perfect… he could certainly understand her beauty coming from you but him too? it made close to no sense to him… he knows she has the most adorable face with big brown eyes that are always filled with such curiosity about the world surrounding her and chubby little cherub cheeks that are downright impossible to resist squishing which only ever causes a gummy smile to spread across her small face but his friends behaviour and actions around her really only demonstrated how obviously perfect she is…

୨୧ so many of his friends would often jokingly give him hell for being so obviously soft for both you and his baby girl but the second he brought her around them, they would crumble so quickly at the sight of her and melt into deep coos about how she was the cutest little thing they had ever seen, about how she was probably the only cute baby they had ever seen and she was so quiet! øystein especially appreciated just how silent she was every single time bård brought her over to helvete, he appreciated how she never seemed afraid of the low black metal record playing as white noise nor the black leather clad men admiring her as she is held up on her fathers hip

♡ seriously, øystein has never heard of a case of a baby being as deadly quiet as yours and bårds is but he certainly is not complaining! he may like loud music but a baby crying and screaming? not so much! he is always offering bård any open shifts at helvete in case he wants some extra cash and he makes sure bård knows that he can certainly bring his little girl along with him if he wants to, he would not mind seeing that adorable little face every time poked his head out of the back office

୨୧ by the time bård gets back from these little helvete visits, all he and your daughter ever want to do is go for a nap with you! he will greet you with a deep kiss before gently grabbing your arm, picking up your daughter in his arms and pulling you to your shared bedroom for a cuddle that will devolve into a deep sleep shared between the three of you within just minutes of becoming tangled under the thick blankets as your daughter rests on his chest

“ you okay, baby? did you have a nice bath? good… you wanna take a nap? i think i need a nap, and her too… ” ( the fact that your daughter needs a nap is always overtly obvious to both you and bård as you share a quiet chuckle at her droopy eyes and the way her head keeps bobbing down to rest on his shoulder as he slowly rocks her in his arms )

♡ before your daughter was even born, bård had picked up an old handheld camera that he often used to record you and completely random yet innocent times of the day during your pregnancy wether it be always zooming in on your bump to record the growth damn near every day, filming blurry close ups of the recent ultrasound you had got printed off, letting you record him as he attempted to assemble the cot before eventually throwing the paper instructions aside and walking off to make a phone call to tomas for some help! the little camera captured so much of your pregnancy and now that your daughter is born? the filming only gets even more common!

୨୧ bård films so much of your daughters life! wether it be simple little things like filming you as you hold her on your hip and help her put a bauble on the tree for her first christmas or filming her as she looks up at the camera from her cot whilst bård coos at her, wether it be bigger things like filming her first steps as both you and bård cheer her on with soft but enthusiastic voices! bård just loves capturing so many memories with her to eventually look back on

♡ you think bård is just going to have a daughter and not be teaching her all about drums as soon as she is old enough? come on! of course he would, he was sitting her on his knee with some thick earmuffs protecting her sensitive ears and playing his drums for her the minute she was old enough to sit up on her own! there are just three things he loves the absolute most in life and that is you, your daughter and his drums… some of the times your daughter was the most reactive in your womb was when you watched him practice and she would begin kicking in response as she obviously heard the drums, he knew right then and there that she would be a natural born drummer before she was even born and he was right!

୨୧ every single time he holds your daughter in his lap and plays some slightly less harsh songs for her, both of you can see her eyes completely flood with curiosity and interest at the muffled sound filling her ears as she watches his drumsticks move in front of her! did he buy her one of those cute little made for kids drum kit for christmas one year? well of course he did! though he would honestly let her practice at his own drums if she wanted to, anything of his is also hers by default in his mind! he will give her his drumsticks and hold her tiny hands in his as he guides her to gently tap the drums, chuckling down at her when she looks up at him in surprise from the noise before looking over at you and sending you a beaming smile

♡ when it was time for your daughter to begin attending primary school, bård told you to use your own surname for hers instead of his like it actually is on her birth certificate! this is not because he does not love her or because he does not see her as his daughter because of course he does, being with you and having her with you will forever be two of his greatest achievements in life but more so because he just absolutely does not want her to lose any opportunities of friendships or be picked on because people know who her father is and what he did… he knows that other children very most likely will not have the slightest idea of who he is at all but their parents likely will and if he knew they were telling their own children to stay away from her because of him? it would completely break his heart and he knows it is absolutely in the realm of shameful possibilities so he just does what he thinks is right and asks you to change her surname to yours when entering her into primary school, definitely not legally but just on the school papers…

୨୧ of course, you agree to do it! because unfortunately, you more than definitely understand exactly where he is coming from when he asks you to do it during one of his weekend visits as your daughter is taking a nap curled up on his lap as you lean into his side on the couch, it breaks your heart as you can so clearly hear how upset it makes him to even think about the idea of having to remove his surname from her even if temporarily, it really pains him to think about her introducing herself to a class and future friends whilst having to use your surname instead of his as was originally planned since her birth! but both of you know it is for the best, no matter how your hearts shatter at the thought of her being so confused as to why she has to use your surname instead of her fathers as she usually does but both of you know he will try to explain it to her the best he can when you guys tell her, he will do his absolute best to make sure she does not know how dark the truth really is just yet

♡ bård takes a really genuine interest in quite literally everything your daughter becomes interested in over the years!

୨୧ if she becomes interested in rocks as a toddler? he will gladly spend his free days taking her on walks through the forest and along little shallow rivers to collect pretty rocks with you by his side! always holding her small hand in his as she keeps her eyes on the ground for any rocks, crouching down to her level whenever he sees her pick one up and speaking with a heightened tone in his voice as he praises her whilst you watch with a smile on your face

“ did you find one, skatten min? show me, let me see… wow, that’s such a pretty one, hm? you gonna keep it? yeah? i would keep that one too… ” ( the big smile that forms on her soft face as she shows him the rock held in her small hand is impossible not to coo at as you watch them together, a bigger smile growing on your own face as you watch him chuckle at her clear excitement before squishing her chubby cheeks and kissing her head before standing back up to continue the walk together )

♡ or maybe she got really into space when she was a pre-teen? bård will read every single book related to space that the prison library has to offer, reading them over and over again to really store the information in his brain for the next time the two of you visit him or he gets a weekend leave! he will let her ramble to him about astronauts and space for hours if she wants to all with a soft smile on his face at how passionate his little girl is, how smart his baby girl is… she has dreams of becoming an astronaut? of course he is going to support her in that! he will spend every weekend leave he gets taking the two of you to space museums if she wants to do that, he will happily watch her nerd out about all of the little exhibitions with a proud smile on his face whilst having an arm wrapped around your waist as you lean your head against the side of his muscular arm and admire your growing daughter

♡ bård often finds himself getting completely lost in love and admiration when watching your daughter do quite literally anything! when she was a newborn he would get so utterly lost in her big chocolate eyes and rosy red cheeks as he held her safely in his arms whilst sitting on the small couch in your shared apartment, only breaking out of his trance when you would come up behind him and hug him from behind before leaning down to press a soft kiss to his pale cheek as he mumbled up to you about just how perfect she is

“ hm… she’s so perfect, baby… thank you for everything… for giving me her, for loving me… ” ( being around your baby makes him so unbelievably soft and willing to let every single one of his thoughts out of his mouth as his eyes stay stuck on his baby whilst talking to you, unable to pull his loving eyes away from her as she sleeps soundly in his arms )

୨୧ when your daughter was still a toddler, bård absolutely loved dressing her! both for obvious necessity and because he gets to make her look so adorable in colourful little outfits and accessories, when it comes winter time in norway? oh he always has to be the one dressing her in the morning, he always has to make sure she is wearing so many layers before going anywhere outside as snow still falls from the white sky and winds still blow cold! you usually just watch from the doorway with a soft smile on your face as he gets her dressed, admiring how focused he looks when making sure every button is done up and every fabric is unfolded but he will always feel your eyes on him as he works and turn around to face you with his own big smile before telling you to just keep ogling and pushing some long brown locks out of his pale face, letting out a deep chuckle when you jokingly scoff and roll your eyes before coming over to pick up your daughter who is now also letting out much higher pitched giggles at the sound of her fathers laughter

♡ when it is winter in norway, bård feels so especially protective of your toddler daughter! she is just so small and still so new to the world, he really prefers to just stay huddled up in bed with the two of you instead of taking her out anywhere in fear that she might catch a nasty cold! but of course, what even is a child if they do not want to play with snow when they see it through windows? and neither you nor bård can ever refuse your daughter when she makes grabby hands and looks up at you with big pleading eyes

୨୧ bård has to dress her in at least four layers before you guys take her out to play in the snow though! thankfully your daughter is extremely quiet and very patient so she puts up no fuss as he dresses her in multiple thick cotton jumpers, a pair of fluffy ear muffs, some soft little mittens as well as a cute knitted scarf that his mother had actually made for her and so on! he is just dressing her to the absolute max to make sure there is simply no chance of her catching a cold and falling sick, he could barely handle her pain when she was teething let alone something so preventable like a cold? he would simply never forgive himself for letting her get a cold under his watch! by the time he is done with dressing her in cold proof clothes, your daughter is starting to get ever so slightly impatient as she softly kicks her legs and he chuckles before kissing her head, gesturing towards you and asking if you are all ready too before the two of you take her outside together

“ hey, baby… you ready to go? i think skatten min is starting to get a little impatient, hm? come on then, let’s go… ” ( it takes less than a second after he says this for your daughter to quickly grab his large hand in her much smaller one, holding on tightly through her mitten as she waits for him to pick her up and take her outside with you which he does with no hesitation! your daughter loves being held by him and he loves holding her in his arms, it is quite rare that your toddler daughter actually walks anywhere )

♡ when you daughter is playing in the snow, forming little snowballs in her mitten covered hands and poking her fingers down into the previously untouched snow, bård is right there beside her whilst you film the two of them with his handheld camera, both of you laughing when your daughter attempts to hand him some snow before her big eyes widen in surprise as it quickly melts away in her hand, you coo from behind the camera as you watch him lay her down in the snow and attempts to teach her how to make a snow angel by moving her arms for her, you zoom in on them as he smiles down at her with such love shining in his eyes whilst making a tiny snowman just in front of her

୨୧ bård is a very proud father when it comes to quite literally anything your daughter does! she could hand him a stick that she found outside and he would treasure it as if it was made of pure solid gold, he would keep it in a drawer somewhere forever and absolutely never let you throw it out! he has major attachments and care for anything your daughter gives to him with it being meant as a gift for him because it just fills his heart with pure love for your daughter, it makes him feel so loved in his times of worrying that he does not make a great father because of his less than perfect circumstances in life… the cute little gifts from her mixed with so much loving from you about how all he will ever be to her is a wonderful father makes him believe that he is being the best father he possibly can be, it makes him feel loved and worthy…

♡ that is why he can just never ever find it in himself to throw away anything she ever gives to him, no matter how supposedly useless the item may be such as a common rock or twig! he will be keeping it so long as he lives on this world so do not be surprised when you randomly find it in a drawer when your daughter is no longer a toddler who picks things up off the ground to gift to her father, do not be surprised when your daughter is a growing teenager and bård comes home one day panicking about supposedly losing his so called lucky rock that she had given him when she was four years old only to later find it hidden in a hole of the pocket in his jeans! little things like that mean a whole lot to bård and they always will, he has even kept a lot of easily forgettable things related to you through the years but i will not go into that right now! he just loves you so much for giving him his little girl and giving him so much happiness in life! he loves his little girl for entering his life when he was still so young himself and changing him for the better

୨୧ when bård is finally released from prison and the two of you have another daughter together, he loves her just as much as he did your first daughter! he will always let her colour in his sleeve tattoos with markers as the two of them sit together on the comfortable couch with her small body curled into his side whilst she focuses on staying in the black ink lines the best she can! his voice is deep and burly yet so soft and caring as he mumbles down to her

“ stjernen min, you missed a spot there… there you go, smart girl! it looks so nice, hm? ” ( he will only tear his attention away from her toddler form when you and your now teenaged daughter appear from the kitchen after you had spent some time teaching her how to cook, welcoming the soft kiss you lean down and press to his lips and chuckling deeply against your lips when both of your daughters make dramatic grossed out sounds )

♡ you and bård had your first baby young, almost too young, but neither of you regretted it one bit! even now as the two of you are older with another perfect child shared between you, both of you look back on those early years with such fondness as he remembers how heavenly it felt to be a first time father and how beautiful you looked as a first time mother even if you are still very much beautiful now! he just loves being a father so much, he loves being a father to your children so much and would not trade the life he has for the whole world <3

#dad! bard eithun #dad! faust #bard eithun x reader #faust x reader #emperor x reader #emperor headcanons #fluff headcanons #headcanons

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