#oh I'm sorry did that hurt
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you think YOU had a bad day at work?
bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera
#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank#he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :')#he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated#but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING#drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay...#also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger.........#geno kept Hovering in concern#po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog#ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both#also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited#anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a#long post#sidney crosby#evgeni malkin#pittsburgh penguins#also!!! to all who celebrate#ramadan kareem/eid mubarak#<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good
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ata tu corazón, mi amor, y arrástralo por la tierra
#this art hurts so bad#in a way i'd never be able to explain#also it just upsets me a lot because i don't like how i did it:(#idk how to make it better so i'm just gonna leave it as it is#and go to sleep good night#it was supposed to be cool and simple just like that#but in my eyes it's just missing everything and i don't know how to fix it#genuinely thought it was gonna be a good art but here i am oh well. that happens i guess#im sorry javier :(( i'll make more good art i promise#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#javier escuella
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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the fact that people are still bitching about rayla not apologizing to callum meanwhile callum himself a) actively stopped her from doing so and b) could not care less. like they know each other on such an extreme level that nothing actually needs to be said. also they are actively moving past it in every sense so i think we're good
#i'm sorry that i hurt you and i wouldn't do it again#but i'm not sorry that i did it#and tbh#if it ever came up#i would expect a#i'm a <that truther#rayllum#tdp spoilers#tdp s6#tdp#the dragon prince#continuethesaga#oh and of course this is still bc of the larger rayla hatred which is fueled by misogyny
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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◡̈⋆ʜᴇʟʟᴏ(●’◡’●)ノthis is a little request its a evil cycle iruma x reader if you don't mind🥲
So i just wanted to ask if you could do evil cycle iruma x reader that's is the most sensitive person in the Netherworld and clingness and the whole school is already praying for reader safety when their with evil cycle iruma 🥲 and when making reader cry during the evil cycle iruma makes it up to them by Privately making out with them untill their breathless
If you don't or can't do it that totally alright! If you do it (*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ have a nice day!
Breathless
tags/warnings: iruma x gn!reader, evil cycle iruma-kun, pre-established relationship, demon reader, rank zayin iruma, 5th year iruma, aged-up characters, slight angst, hurt/comfort, slight NSFW (they're 18 here dw)
a/n: Don't worry bae, I got you. However, it is my first time writing something a lil spicy, lower your expectations pls.
"Have you heard? Iruma-kun is causing a scene in the cafeteria."
"Eh, isn't that how he usually is?"
"No, today's different..."
You were walking down the halls of Babylys, when you heard demons talking about Iruma, your boyfriend. Yoy've gotten pretty used of it by now, considering how popular he is at school. No, not only in school, but in the whole netherworld. Sullivan Iruma, the principal's grandson, rank zayin (7), and one of the future demon king candidates. What more would you expect?
You just shrugged and paid their gossips no mind. Whatever Iruma is doing right now, you trust that he's not doing anything mischievous. He's literally the most pure hearted demon you know in the netherworld! You opened your hellphone to look at the message that Iruma left you this morning.
'Good morning, Y/N-san! I'll be back at Babylys today. See you at school later!'
You couldn't help but smile at his message. It's your third time reading his text today and you still melt at his sweetness. Iruma was sent on a mission by the thirteen crowns. You had no doubt that he'll succeed and Iruma did not disappoint!
But you missed him so muchhhhh. Your feet found their way to his current location, as per the rumors. You were about to enter the cafeteria when somebody grabbed your arm and started pulling you away. "Y/N! We're gonna be late for class, let's go!"
"Aww, but I want to see Irumaaaaa." you whined.
"You'll see him later at the awarding ceremony. Don't be such a baby." Eiko laughed and rolled her eyes playfully. Gaako did the same. Well, she did witness both of your fangirl antics about Iruma since you were first years. You pouted and just let yourself get dragged away to misery.
You weren't paying that much attention to class, mind filled with your lover. It's been two weeks since you last saw Iruma... it's also been two weeks since you last had cuddles! You missed his affection so badly that you went to his house yesterday to welcome him back with a hug and a few kisses, but Opera-san stopped you from meeting him as he needed his rest. You sighed for the nth time today, and this time, you grabbed the teacher's attention.
"L/N,"
"Y-Yes, Momonoki-sensei?" You sprung from your seat in surprise. You gulped, the last thing that you want to experience is embarassing yourself in front of the class.
"Are you okay? You seem down. You can go to the infirmary if you want?" Momonoki-sensei sincerely offered.
You let out a sigh of relief and kindly rejected her offer. You sat down and decided to sulk in silence this time.
Then, the awarding ceremony finally came. You hummed a happy song, skipping through the hallways, excited to see Iruma. Finally, finally!
However, to your surprise, the demon that ascended the stage wasn't your every day Iruma...
He's different.
It's not your first time seeing him in his evil cycle, as his first evil cycle did get him Royal One when you were still first years, but it's the first time you saw him pissed in that state. Not even a smirk nor a cunning smile was plastered on his face. Iruma's wearing a frown as Kalego-sensei gives him his award. The whole auditorium went wild when Kalego-sensei enumerated Iruma's achievements in a span of two weeks. However, the audience was quickly silenced with the click of Iruma's tongue. He sent a glare at the whole auditorium and went down the stage without a single world. Following his tail (as if he has one lol) was, of course, his friends, Asmodeus and Clara.
With Iruma gone, demons started leaving the auditorium. You, on the other hand, have other plans. You tried squeezing your way through the crowd, hoping to chase after Iruma-kun.
"Y/N, where are you going?" Someone grabbed your wrist, stopping you from getting away. It's Gaako.
"I'm going to find Iruma and talk to him. I also... want to be there for him." you responded.
"Really? You're going to talk to him? In that state?! Are you out of your mind?" she exclaimed. Both Gaako and Eiko looked at you with worried faces.
"You're overreacting. I'm his partner, I'll be fine." You said confidently before wriggling away from their grasp.
You heard them shout your name once again but you proceeded without looking back. You reached the back of the stage and there you saw Asmodeus and Clara standing in front of a door, quietly arguing with each other. It only took a few seconds for them to notice you, making them stop.
"Y/N-san..."
"What happened, Asmodeus-san? Is Iruma doing alright?" you asked in a worried tone.
"Iruma-chi told us to leave him alone." Clara pouted.
"We didn't know what happened. Iruma-sama was already in his evil cycle as soon as he arrived in Babylys. I presume something happened during his mission." Asmodeus sighed.
"But he was still himself this morning, see?" You pulled out your hellphone from your pocket snd showed them his text this morning. "Either way, I'm going inside. Wish me luck." Your hand finds it's way to the doorknob.
Asmodeus' face turned pale. "Y/N-san, I don't think that's a good idea-"
"I'll be fine, you guys worry too much." You chuckled.
You were just in the middle of opening the door when your body suddenly felt cold, making you shiver.
"What part of 'leave me alone' do you not understand..." There was something off about his voice; black smoke started coming out of his ring. "Fuck off!" Iruma snapped, purple shards came shooting at your way. You yelped in fear when one shard almost hit you, just passing by your right cheek. Your hands shook as you held your face. It's the first time he shouted at you... It's the first time he tried to hurt you. You didn't even know he was capable of doing that.
"S-Sorry..." was the only response you managed to stutter before closing the door again.
Asmodeus and Clara looked at you with horror and pity, witnessing the whole event. Before you know it, your tears started to fall. You tried to wipe the tears away, hands still shaking, but it just won't stop flowing.
"I think I'll get going now." You ran as fast as you could, hand clenched over your chest. It hurts. You didn't get hit but it feels like something sharp pierced through your heart. You should've listened. You should've left him alone. It's all your fault. You were too preoccupied with your feelings that you didn't notice the sound of someone leaving the room and shouting your name.
You stopped running when you finally reached the school gates. Auspiciously, you were alone. Not a single student was seen on the school grounds, as classes were still on-going. You crouched down and hugged your knees as you cried your heart out.
Suddenly, you saw a tall shadow casted over yours on the ground. You looked up to see who it was. "Opera-san..." you sobbed.
They carried you in their arms and lightly patted your bsck, comforting you. "It's okay, Y/N-sama. Let's get you home, shall we?" You hugged their neck and hummed in response. Suddenly, your body felt light. Opera-san started jumping from here to there, making their way to your home.
Before you know it, you fell asleep. You only realized when you woke up in a dark, familiar room. You sat on the edge of the bed as you recalled what you experienced today. Your eyes sting from all the crying you did earlier. You stared at the thick, cozy blanket bundled beside you.
"You're awake,"
You flinched when you heard a foreign yet familiar voice. A familiar silhouette stood by the other side of the room, leaning on the door frame. Then, realization hit you. This is not your room. Opera-san was the one who brought you home. But they didn't tell you whose home, did they?
In a snap of his fingers, the lights turned on. Your eyes finally meet... "Iruma,"
He started walking towards the bed, his bed, towards you. You avoided his gaze, still upset at him. He sat beside you with a small distance between the two of you, giving you space. No one talked. You still couldn't bring yourself to look at him so you just stared at the carpet and fidgeted with your hands. You bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying. He's so close and yet he feels so far.
"Eek!" He suddenly grabbed your chin and turned your face towards him. His dark violet orbs stared into yours.
Before you know it, Iruma's lips was against yours, kissing you tenderly. His kisses were soft, as if he was careful that you might break, contrasting his new personality. You just sat still, letting him shower you with kisses. When he finally pulled away, he looked at you with guilty eyes. He put his hand on top of yours and gave it a little squeeze.
"I... I wasn't myself earlier." he started. "Something happened... It made my mana go out of control. It's dangerous for me to be around other demons. So, I tried to shut myself away. I'm sorry..." He apologized again, voice full of regret and pain. "I-If you can't forgive me, it's fine. You don't have to force yourself to be with me after I hurt you-"
You started sobbing again. No, you cried, loudly. Iruma panicked, seeing you break down in front of him. Then, he embraced you. "You were so mean! I was just worried but you told me to fuck off!" you cried like a baby.
"I know, I know, I'm a complete jerk. I'm sorry," Iruma brushed your hair, doing his best to sooothe you.
"Is it my fault that I miss you so much? You were gone for two weeks!" you whined. "And now you're saying we should break up? Are you out of your mind?"
You punched him lightly on his stomach, making him chuckle soflty "Ouch,"
You break way from his embrace and glared at him. "And now you're making fun of me."
He reached out his hands to gently wipe your tears away. After that, he held your face lovingly and placed two kisses on the side of your eyes. "I missed you too," His eyes stared at you with so much sincerity that you forgave him on the spot. You noticed his gaze went from your eyes then to your pouty lips... eyes lingering a little longer than usual.
Noticing this, you grabbed his collar and pulled him closer. You kissed him. Iruma was taken aback, but it only took him a few moments to respond to your lips. If the kiss you shared earlier was soft and full of care, this time, the way you kissed each other is full of passion and longing. Damn, you really missed him so much. Iruma's hand finds its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him, deepening the kiss. Feeling a little bold, you lightly bit his bottom lip, earning a groan from him.
He immediately pulled away. You were about to complain but you were caught off guard when he suddenly pushed you down on his bed. He fixed your positions, with him now towering over you. "You..." Iruma stared at you from above, his face red as a tomato, obviously flustered. He pushed his bangs upwards using his fingers. "This is what you wanted, isn't it?" he scoffed with a smirk. "Then you better take responsibility for your actions."
The next thing you know, he went down on you, kissing you ravishly. Iruma's kisses are now rough and desperate, rendering you completely breathless. He playfully bit your lower lip, earning a whimper from you. With your lips slightly parted, he took the opportunity to invade your mouth. You let out a soft moan at the new sensation, his tongue against yours. Your breathing became heavier as Iruma explored every corner of your mouth. Your grip on his shirt tightened as your make out session became more and more heated.
It's the first time you both shared this type of kiss. Iruma, the innocent one, usually gets overwhelmed every time you get intimate. Your kisses were limited to small, quick pecks on the lips. You guessed it had something to do with his confidence. But now that he's in his evil cycle, confidence at peak, there are no more shackles to hold him back.
You felt something hard pressed against your pelvis, making you whimper.
You internally thanked the missing demon king that you both don't have classes tomorrow because you're not sure you'll still be able to function properly after this.
#iruma kun#iruma x reader#mairimashita! iruma kun x reader#evil cycle iruma x reader#evil cycle iruma#irumean#mairuma#mairimashita iruma kun#m!ik imagines#m!ik#welcome to demon school#sullivan iruma#iruma suzuki#iruma manga#mairimashita! iruma kun#suzuki iruma#oh my god i think i slightly made him ooc I'm sorry#did i do good? that's the best i could do omg#wtdsik imagines#wtdsik#it's a bit long haha sorry#more plot less smut#more talk less action#hurt#comfort#eiko#gaako#asmodeus alice#clara valac#evil iruma
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the wrap has to stay on for another three or so days so all I have are scummy, marker-smeared bloody pictures but.
my tattoo sleeve is finished.
and now I look so incredibly hot that I have no idea what to do with myself.
#I did not realize the difference between a half sleeve and full sleeve was going to make for my already inflated self image#I'm sorry it's just#so hot 😭#it's also possible I'm a little delirious because it had to go all around the inside of my wrist and hurt like shit#and I couldn't eat beforehand so I got lightheaded as shit#BUT SO HOT#I'll share pics when it's less of a mess but oh my god I'm so happy
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Jerez | Estoril 2005: On the way to the podium at Jerez, Valentino Rossi gestures with a grin at Sete Gibernau, who is hobbling up the stairs and clutches his arm in visible discomfort. At the pre-event press conference for the next race at Estoril, Rossi comments again on the race and the resulting controversy - and says he was not aware of Gibernau's pre-existing shoulder troubles.
As a result of the last corner Jerez collision, Gibernau “acquired a lesion to the rotator cuff of his left shoulder and to the tendon which will require rest and treatment". He did race in Estoril, crashing out of the lead.
#brr brr#sete gibernau#//#sg15#i feel like the way this is cut does stitch valentino up but i would like to state for the record that i am no better than him#i will not disclose my reaction whenever i see the fourth wall break. i KNOW context makes it iffy#but if you watch it without the knowledge the shoulder was actually hurt you do think sete's playing it up. or i did anyway#one of the commentators was also like 'yeah idk how much of that is theatre' on the podium which. again. i am sorry to sete gibernau#and then vale's like 'oh y'know i only lightly bumped my bike into him!! it was a slow corner!!' which. i'm not gonna say a word#'i'm sorry if he's not at 100%' one of the all time great non apology apologies#curse tag
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.”
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.
It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)
#also I don't mean we're similar in any way when it comes to rape or SA. Please don't twist it that way at all.#I mean like in terms of the jealously resentment revenge hurting others to feel thrilled not taking responsibility not seeing flaws etc#I'm diagnosed with NPD also but pls know my experience will be different from others. We're all different people obvs.#also Jimmy has like wayyyyyyyyyy more things wrong with him not just untreated NPD lol#I would say that untreated NPD is a hell most can't describe#you barely feel anything except rage boredom and jealousy (in my case)#love is a form of ownership and control because you can't really feel it the right way#so your -person- is an object of intense obsession and also a tool for you#if that makes sense? I see that with Jimmy and Curly for sure#You want to tear others down and hurt them because it makes you feel good to put them below you#there's a constant feeling of insecurity and it drives you crazy fr#kind gestures from friends feel insulting#and oh my god achievements made by friends and family in my case feel like I've been shot like I hate when they achieve things#It's not logical obvs but that's something I instantly noticed in Jimmy so i was like .....oh brother lol#and also if they achieve something my brain needs it to somehow be tied to me or I'll make it tied to me so they can be thankful#they should always center their attention on me and if they don't I immediately resent them#these are just some of my thought processes on the matter so I can show the similarities I feel with Jimmy#the KEY DIFFERENCE is all of these thoughts I have are left in my head and not exhibited in my actions (any more. took a long time)#but he is such a nasty human with ZERO introspection that he prob never even thought about treatment#also doesn't help that the hot blonde he's friends with never did anything to help with that#idk sorry for oversharing but ahhh this game is so well written I gotta yap about it lol#also kind of a funny unrelated story to show how weird the achievement thing can be lol#my friends announced they saved up enough to go to Vietnam (their dream trip) and I was happy for them (I really was)#but of course my delusional ass immediately also took it as a threat#and I booked a month long trip to Europe a few days after so I could also announce it LMAO#that is a kind of innocent incident when compared to Jimmy but it just shows how annoying NPD can be#Jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#NPD
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heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )
but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,
( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )
and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;
The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx
( helpsksdj )
so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )
so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )
buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )
had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...
PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )
-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )
and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )
...hE GOT KYLE
FUCKING
BROFLOVSKI
and had to place him at /TEN/.
-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...
...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!
...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.
And....
*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*
Scene. <3
#nina speaks#sorry that ravenheadstannon makes me cry laughing everytime and i needed a distraction; he needs to go to jail#like he needs tall white boy behavioral therapy for his BAD BEHAVIOR he is down astronomically bad...i'm...SMHHHH#I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FUNNY PUTTING SCARY SWOLE AF TOPDOM STREET FIGHTER JERSEY KYLE ON BOTTOM IS#LIKE THAT IS SACRIFUKINGLIGIOUS THAT IS WRONG#all to put mgg on top SORRY SPENCER REID HE REALLY DID SPECIFY IT TOO EVEN WHEN JK ASKED IM CRYINGGG nOO#HE WAS LIKE ACTUALLY HIS NAME IS dR. SpENcER rEid!!!#like are u kidding...are you JOKING SUPER BEST FRIEND???#SAY!!! SIIIIKE!!!! and jk thought this was cute bc aw u know his name thats so dorky awh--oH IMMM SORRY!!!! *sarcasm vc*#i dIDNT KNOW HE WAS A DOOOOOOCTA MY BAAAD DOES DOOOOCTAH SPENCA REAAAAAD WANT SOME PASTA?!?!#SHOULD I LEEEEEEEAVE YOU TWOOOOOO TO GO ON YOUR DAAAATE?!?! YOU AN yAAAAAA bOOOOYFRIEND?!?!?#IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM SOOOOORRY FOR THIRDWHEELiN! ITS NAUGHT LIKE THIS IS MY HOUSE OR MY SB BOYFRIEND OR ANYtHIN!! >>>:/#help oh my god ATE THE FIRST BITE OF PASTA IN FRONT OF HIM EVERYONE WAS LIKE OH MY GOD MY PARENTS#ARE BREAKING UP NOOO RAVESEY NATION WE ARE SO DOWN OH MY GOD THE OTHER HALF WAS SHIPPING#REIDVEN#ravenstan tried to explain....He COULD NOT dkhflshfl so bad so funny RIP he was like wow i came home from a long day#of my internship i made you diNNAh and you put me aT tEN???!! ohhh it was so over oh my god rs was like mI AMOR BESITO BESITO BESITOoOOoOo#YOU ARE SO HANDSOME I LOVE YOU YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND SMART AND FUNNY I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS ( has a shrine )#WOWZA THATS SO CRAZY BABY PLEASE DONT BE MAD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT TE AMOOO PLEASE HAVE I TOLD U HOW HANDSOME U ARE ;-;;;;#insane...he still got his pasta too...jail for life...he did redo the filter and did it until he got jk first put him at one and closed it#i cannot believe it also i love cute domestic apartment husband jk he is the best he really is ravenstan Count Your Days#people joking about them breaking up and foreshadowing it...BRUTAAAAAAL! please note mgg sided w rs in the divorce#and made a video saying i love u to him <3 as a joke <3 bUT I KNOOOOOOW JK WAS PUNCHIN DRYWALL AND SCREAMIN#I KNOW THAT PISSED HIM AWHFF SOOOOO BAD OH MY GOD HE MADE SEVERAL MGG HATE ACCOUNTS#AND TURNED HIS STOMACH WATCHING CM EVEN THO HE HATES THAT SHIT JUST TO COMMENT#ON TIMES SPENCER REID WAS FACTUALLY INACCURATE#my chest hurts but i cant tell if its bc of the bacteria or bc i'm laughing too hard so i won help i love my criminal mind <3
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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🌸 is so immensely likeable.... do you ever just like someone so much all the time
#they have such good qualities#theyre so thoughtful and nice and fun to talk to#yesterday they received and looked at an email about the *PATHOGEN EXPOSURE INCIDENT* that happened to them last week#while i was talking to them about somethign truly inane and silly basically just for the recreational love of talking to 🌸#and i was like 'oh sorry' and let them read for a second and then they looked back up and we continued talking#i immediately forgot it happened#and then about ten minutes later after id left the room they came to find me#and held my hands and said so so seriously#''im so sorry i read my email instead of listening to you. it was so rude of me. i'm sorry i did that to you. i hope you're not too hurt''#--you know. that they read the email about the BIOSAFETY LEVEL 3 PATHOGEN CONTAINMENT FAILURE#while i was in the middle of discussing my conflicted feelings about rigid heddle looms for the third time.#i eventually managed to explain that this was an extraordinarily sweet and outrageously unnecessary apology about an incident i could not#have been less bothered by#like i. i do think you should read the email about changes to BL3 PATHOGEN CONTAINMENT actually#but. you know. the cutest and most thoughtful person on earth will sometimes do such charming things as this.#[to be clear theyre basically 100% definitely fine re: the pathogen]#box opener#girlfriend tag#even now i am still charmed and perplexed by this. what a perfectly enchanting creature
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what if El's never seen anyone sick before so when Will gets a cold and looks a bit off kilter and sweaty she thinks he's possessed again and launches into full s2 exorcism mode about it
#Joyce comes home and hears weird splashing and finds Will in his pjs fighting for his life with El holding him down in a hot bath#GET OUT OF HIM#El what are you doing??#MOM IT'S BACK#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#MOM STOP HER??#DON'T LISTEN TO HIM#IT'S JUST A COLD EL RELAX#SEE?????? HE LIKES IT COLD THE HEAT HURTS HIM#I'M NOT YELLING BECAUSE I'M POSSESSED I'M YELLING BECAUSE IT'S REALLY HOT WATER#MOM GET THE MEDICINE NEEDLE MAKE HIM SLEEP#'IT'S FUCKING NYQUIL EL IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT#El honey he's not possessed he just has a cold let him go#......... oh ....... sorry will#Will dripping on the rug: by the way why did you put bubbles in??#El: (sheepishly) you like bubble baths#willel#mine#headcanon
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god I forgot how much staring at a screen for all my waking hours fucks me up and makes me miserable
#my eyes hurt so bad and my brain can barely form words#and I'm terrified to face my teacher tomorrow after she. did what she did two weeks ago#I'm safe please don't worry but#oh boy#there's a reason I have PRE BOOKED THERAPY for tomorrow after school#that's how fucking scared I am#and#the workload#is literally impossible to manage or complete as a disabled autistic person#not a hyperbole I have tried I have put every bit of energy I possibly have#including energy for. getting ready for bed or talking to my loved ones or masking or just going on a WALK#into homework. and it's still an impossible amount of work that I am Never able to complete by the deadline#hate being this way#hate teacherfs who traumatise me for being this way#has happened my whole fucking life and I STILL feel like a little kid every time#vent tw#listen to my gibberish boy#vent#this sucks. sorry you had to read this
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THAT SUCKED SO MUCH ASS 😭😭😭😭😭 bro i'm never doing that again holy fucking god
#I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MORE DRUGS#oh my god.#i think i cut off circulation to the nurse's hand who came in because i said i thought i might pass out. i didn't pass out though#probably because i was squeezing her hand so tight. i'm sorry ma'am you were very nice and helpful#the good news is i did not feel the pap smear#she even did the lidocaine block and it still hurt so bad. holy fuck#me
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