#oh I also want to try that milk tea with salt and butter

[aoiraincoat]

I want to try natto and I think I would like it

I mean... I can not just eat, but enjoy plenty of foods most people deem weird or disgusting

Salted licorice? Yes.

Meat jelly? Yes, and with horse raddish paste or extra spicy home made mustard please.

Salted or smoked salo? Yes.

Hot milk with honey and sheep fat? Yes.

Drinks and bread made of fermented rye? Absolutely.

National drinks of Central Asian ethnic groups made of fermented/sour milk with salt? Give them to me.

Salty pickled watermelon? YES.

Berry or fruit kissel with especially snotty texture? PLEASE

[cupcraft]

Simple Cooking Tips by me trying my best:

1: Canned foods are fine. Canned foods are often affordable, very shelf stable, and versatile. Canned veggies taste great when seasoned and cooked. Canned meat is fine too. Enjoy eating your canned food little life!

2: Instant mashed potatoes are a great way to make a quick an easy side. You can always add extra seasoning/butter/creamcheese/sourcream/milk/broth/etc. if you need. The same goes for other instant foods they are very versatile. Instant foods can often be shelf stable, cheap, and also good if you dont have a lot of time to cook.

3: I made too much food or bought too much food or produce uh oh. Freeze/freeze/freeze (just make sure you keep track of dates and stuff/know that some foods texture will change when frozen). There are often plenty of tips and tricks to freezing things well when they have texture changes. Food never has to go to waste! And on days where its hard for me to function having a frozen meal ready to heat up is the best. Also, for excess produce especially see if your town has any local fridges/places to donate fresh produce for someone to take!

4: If the only way youre going to eat is ordering out then do it if you can afford it. Dont feel bad for ordering out. This is your sign that if you need to order out then do it, you dont need an excuse. Youre allowed to want or need ordering out.

5: Meal prepping is supposed to help you not exhaust you. I struggle to eat breakfast for example so its really helpful for me to make things that are quick while im already cooking dinner so that in the morning i have less effort to expend. I make things like yoghurt parfaits/chia seed pudding, over night oats, coldbrew coffee, boiled eggs, etc! Dont feel pressured to meal prep if it is more stressful for you. Its supposed to help you!

6: Setting alarms to eat is soo soo helpful if you struggle to remember or struggle to read your body's needs. I struggle with this myself, so I set alarms for lunch and dinner (as i usually eat breakfast at work). You dont need to be strict with yourself/regimented on the times but it just helps me remember to eat or to prepare food to eat later.

7: Once a pan/pot/cooking equipment cools soak it/rinse it off as soon as you can. It will make cleaning it a lot easier when there's less caked up on it. And if your someone like me who struggles with wet food textures while cleaning this can help a lot too.

8: Don't feel bad for not eating leftovers/finishing a plate/having to throw stuff out. It's okay and not a moral failing. You are not wasting food.

9: Instant ramen is amazing and you can add so much to it in order to make it a really filling meal. You can add veggies (i like to add spinach/kale and mushrooms), you can add more protein (eggs, spam/shrimp/other meats, tofu, etc.). Go crazy with it!

10: I plan my meals out for every day of the week. This helps me stay organized. You don't have to do this, but if youre like me and knowing what your going to eat everyday helps you focus/cook/not stress then do it!

11: If you have a roommate/someone you live with you can find ways to share certain costs/foods. For ex me and my roommate share things and the cost of things that are used so much like: onions, garlic, spices/salt/pepper, tea, etc.

12: You dont have to chop things if you dont want to. You dont have to mortar and pestle things if you dont want to. Use items that make things easier for you! If you need a food processor, if you need a garlic mincer, if you need a potato ricer, do it! Buy precut beef for stew, buy precut chicken tenders, etc! You dont have to chop a single thing! Make things more accessible and easier! And if you like to spend time chopping and mastering knife skills then do that too!

this is all i have for now but please add on if youd like :)!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #14

I finally did it. I decided to try to make Korean-style garlic bread!

…Well, sorta, anyway. I am not so much a fan of sugar (blasphemous, I know!), so I made a few substitutions. But the spirit of the item is the same! Here's how it turned out:

I said I would make some garlic bread for ya, and I meant it, so there you go! The fact that I cannot share it with you still hasn't changed (because obviously), so instead I am sharing it with the people in my immediate vicinity. I'll tell you how I did it, though; maybe something good will happen as a result.

You start with 6 medium-ish rolls. You cut 'em into sections and stick 'em in a baking dish lined with parchment paper. You put the parchment paper on so that stuff doesn't stick. Check it out:

You're supposed to fill the spaces with a garlic butter paste. It's supposed to be made of butter, sweetened condensed milk, heavy cream, a few tablespoons of minced garlic, some minced parsley, an egg, and a pinch of salt.

So... there's where I made some substitutions. Sweetened condensed milk didn't seem like it would be pleasant for my body's sensory hardware in this specific context, so I used that mascarpone cheese I mentioned in my last letter instead. And then, instead of using only a few tablespoons of minced garlic, I went ahead and used an entire head of minced garlic (because I'm no coward, haha!). Here's what the gathered ingredients look like:

I do not want garlic bread. I want GARLIC!!!!!!! bread. I want Vlad Dracula himself to be absolutely TERRIFIED of being anywhere near where I am breathing!! Bahahahaha! 🤣🤣🤣

...Oh wait. Do you know who that guy is? I don't know if you got vampire lore over there. Uh. Well, Dracula is a famous character who is a vampire. Vampires are supposedly deathly allergic to garlic for some reason.

Anyway! So you mix together all those things and it's supposed to look like this:

Then you use it to fill in the cut spaces of the rolls, like so:

The next step is to make the cream cheese filling. The recipe calls for cream cheese and sugar, but I swapped out the sugar for some parmesan cheese and garlic powder! Then you divide it into 6 equal sections, and stick it into the middle of the cut rolls. Like this:

After that, you add embellishments! I put on shredded mozzarella cheese, and then sprinkled more parmesan cheese and garlic powder on top of it! Here's the result; I zoomed in a bit so you can see the details:

From here, you just pop it in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for a while until the cheese gets all melty and golden brown! This is the result:

You might guess that my kitchen smells utterly amazing right now, and you would be absolutely correct! You would also be correct if you were to assume that it tastes as wonderful as it smells! Though I suspect that a human with more normal levels of garlic tolerance (i.e. NOT me! hahaha!) should probably use significantly less garlic than I did!! Ahahahahaha!

...And yes, I can confirm that after eating just one of these, a vampire would be in VERY big trouble if I so much as breathed in its general vicinity, hahahaha! If it were possible to invite Mr. Dracula to my house for tea and cookies (it's not, because he's just a fairytale), I would probably have to wait for several days after making this first so that he doesn't get a violently allergic reaction!

Still just trying to keep busy. Trying to keep the beast that I spoke on before at bay. I've actually got a song for you that is relevant to this. Here:

-------------- Run, run, don't trail behind, keep moving; the beast won't stop 'til we're dead. All the scrapes on our knees will tell you where we've been, where we have bled. Oh we play... ..in autumn days... Won't lay down our heads 'til the day is won. Won't stop running 'til we reach the sun. Chasing all the things that are keeping us young. We won't stop running 'til we reach the sun. Oh, we're building a home with the mud and the stones and the branches we bind. We're all just searching for something bigger than we're all able to find. Oh we play... ..in autumn days... Won't lay down our heads 'til the day is won. Won't stop running 'til we reach the sun. Chasing all the things that are keeping us young. We won't stop running 'til we reach the sun.

We are all creatures of the sunlight. We're all children of the day. We're just chasing what we can't ever get, ever have... Won't lay down our heads until the day is won. Won't stop running 'til we reach the sun. Chasing all the things that are keeping us young. We won't stop running 'til we reach the sun.

All the scrapes on our knees will tell you where we've been, where we have bled... -------------- Remember that you, too, are a child of the sunlight. Please know that you can build for yourself a safe and loving home. Please keep your face turned towards the light, keep running for the sun. And when you fall and scrape your knees while going towards all the places you'll be, I hope you'll tell us about it so that we can respond to your bleeding with comfort and bandages.

You are loved. Please stay safe, if for no reason other than there is garlic bread and people who would make it for you.

Your friend, Lumine

[beauty-and-passion]

My dear! I needed some time, but you needed to! And I am more than happy to reply <3

---------------------------------

Happy to help with healthy tips!

Oh, don't worry, I know sticking to a diet is HARD. My mother has to stick to some diet, but cannot do it and the same goes for my brother. Food is just too good and relaxing too relaxing, I perfectly know.

In fact, what pushed me wasn't "I want to be slim and cool", it was "I don't want to suffer from winter cough anymore". My body basically said: "Either you do something, or I will keep tormenting you forever". I was forced to do something by my own self.

So, if I can give tips and advice that may help, I am more than happy to oblige!

Cooking: is actually a lot easier than it seems! Especially for basic meals, all you have to do is cut vegetables, cut meat or fish, put everything in a pan with olive oil (it's better than butter) salt and water and voila, the stove will do the rest.

Maybe the most difficult task is cleaning raw fish, but once you try, it's easier too: all you have to do is:

clean the scales

cut the belly and take out the organs (they're all conveniently stored in the front, so once they're out you're done)

cut the head, tails and fins (unless you like them? I don't, so I simply cut them out with a knife)

Or you can just buy raw fish/meat already cleaned and done and use them :P

Meals prep: I learned this from my father, but always cook stuff with water. I used to put olive oil only and that was basically like frying - which is the least healthy way to cook. Now I add some water, then let it evaporate while cooking, so in the end there is just a little bit of it in the casserole.

Also, basically zero sauces aside from olive oil, a little bit of salt and vinegar for salads. Only now I'm slowly adding juniper and turmeric but only to season the meat a little. The rest of the time I use oil, salt and I may add one clove of garlic (that I take out before eating) or a little bit of onion just to give a bit more seasoning.

Meals suggestions: I can gladly share some because I searched for ideas, especially at the start, and couldn't find a lot. So if I can save you the trouble of a long research, I am happy to oblige :D

For example, aside from the couscous+vegetable mix, I also planned for this month:

basmati rice with pumpkin soup (I cut the pumpkin, boil it, blend it, let some water evaporate, cook rice on the side, then add it)

basmati rice + spinach (they cook on two separate pans, then I add them together)

gluten-free pasta + chards (just like rice and spinach)

stuffed peppers (grind some zucchini, carrots and potatoes, then add olive oil, mix and put inside the peppers, then in the oven with some water)

potatoes and pumpkin (cut into big pieces and cooked in the oven)

peas and bacon or tuna

spelt soup with zucchini or carrots

chicken breast / rabbit with broccoli, cauliflower and Brussel sprouts (cook separately, then put together)

green beans with potatoes (or any other kind of vegetable)

green beans with corn and olives (cold version for summer)

mackerel with potatoes and zucchini in the oven

cream of pumpkin and carrots (I boil them, blend them, then eat with rusks)

spinach or chard by itself

While for breakfast I planned some meals like:

overnight porridge (I put in a cup oats, greek yogurt, one kiwi, almonds or nuts and honey)

omelet with eggs and vegetables (I can add prosciutto too, to add more proteins)

aged cheese + nuts + honey

rusks and strawberry jam (I use one with no sugar added and no seeds)

cookies with no milk or eggs (they're from a specific brand, so I don't know how they are made. However, I tried to eat them once in a while because they have a lot of carbs - and I'm trying to cut them a bit)

oats + almond milk + fruits

melon and prosciutto or bresaola

fresh fruits and honey

And all of them have one cup of herbal tea included.

Also, if I crave something sweet, I usually go for honey. I am lucky enough to get it from a beekeeper (my cousin), so I am sure it's good. Also, it's natural, so it's way better than any sugary premade/packaged product.

While for exercising, all I can suggest you is:

to arrange a specific room/place/spot specifically for exercising. Put your clothes, mat and everything else already there, so you won't waste time searching for them everywhere.

Possibly, put a mirror too, so you can check if you're doing your exercises well.

Put on nice clothes. They will make you feel better and happier, so you will feel more prone to exercise, just to wear your cute outfit.

There are a ton of apps, so you can rely on them. I used them from the start, because 1) I hate gyms, 2) I hate people around and 3) I'm too lazy to get into the car, go to the gym, change my clothes and follow some training... uuurgh, no thanks. I want something quicker and doing at home it's much better: I decide what to do, do my exercises, take a quick shower and cook my dinner. Best solution for me.

If you get bored easily (like me), apps are great, because you always switch exercises. Don't do the same thing over and over, it will get boring faster. If there's a specific training you like sure, go for it. But if you get bored, you can change anytime.

Last but not least, all you need is willpower and I am sure you will find it. I mean, I found it and I'm a lazy bum, so you can find it too, I am 100% sure of that! And if you need any support, I'm always here, rooting for you! ✨

---------------------------------

A pain that never leaves

My dear, I am near you and I am sending you the biggest virtual hug ever. It's terrible when a loved one leaves and when it's an animal, it's the worst kind of pain.

This one in particular was probably immensely painful and I can only imagine how terrible it was to keep spending time with him, knowing that the clock was ticking and the time was running out. It's terrible and I am immensely sorry for your loss.

The thing is: my neighbours had a very similar experience to your own. They also had a cat and he got sick too. So sick the doctor told them that, if they wanted, they could've kept him alive. But it would've been painful - and for what? Just a couple more months? So, in the end, they decided to let him go.

However, let me point out: their cat was very old. He was 20, so an old boy. And his sickness was something bladder-related, so it was actually very painful for him.

Now I don't know how old your baby was and what kind of disease it was. But if it let him live a bit longer, spend time with his other friend and with you, his beloved owner... I don't think it was a bad decision to keep him alive a bit longer. Also because the other choice is very, very painful.

My neighbors made the other choice and the husband wasn't even able to stay in the same room, when his cat died. He waited outside, crying. His wife stayed with their cat until the end, but seeing her beloved pet close his eyes in front of her... it was heavy. She still remembers it and talks about it with heaviness in her voice.

So... well, maybe it won't be a great consolation, but it would've been hard both ways. Either looking at him go or finding him already dead. It's awful in both cases. It always is.

And you deserve all the time in the world to process this and recover: spend time with your loved one, with your other beloved cat who still needs you, get some time outside, meet your friends. Losses are always hard - and if someone tells you "It's just a cat get over it", tell them from me to jump in a lake.

Also, having both "sides" of what could happen, makes me think about what I will do when my cats will get too old and sick. How will it be? I know it will be painful and I will need a lot of time to recover because they're my first pets too (or, well, my first cats). But what will happen? What will I do? Still don't know. I only know that day will come and I try to cherish our time together as much as possible - and to give them the best possible life. They're our babies and they rely on us: giving them all the love is the bare minimum.

---------------------------------

One step at a time

Again, take all the time, my dear. Find stuff you enjoy, visit friends, eat that sweet sweet treat you were craving. And try to build your life back together one step at a time: sport helps you clean your mind and relax a bit, healthy foods will distract you and make you feel fuller, friends will make you happy and stuff you enjoy will give you more, different stuff to think about.

And don't worry, you will get out. You already did, so you're a tough one! One more bad time? Psssh, that's nothing for a pro like you. You can do anything you want and if you want to get out of it, you will. As always, I am rooting for you 💖

Beau!! Hello! How have you been?

My dearest! I'm sorry for taking this long to reply, but things happened, which means one thing and one thing only: time for a life update post. This time, with healthy tips included ✨

_________________

Sleep is for the weak (and the not-weak)

Last week my mother had knee surgery. She had to do it something like 5 years ago, but hey, better late than never.

The problem wasn't the surgery per se: that went well and she's currently in a clinic for a rehabilitation period, so she can be followed by professionals.

The real problem arose right after the surgery: for the first three days, she was supposed to recover, sleep and start working out asap. But she couldn't do shit, because her roommate was an older lady, who:

had just recovered from Covid but was still suffering from heavy coughs

had dementia and talked by herself all the time

was half-deaf

And that means every goddamn night, that lady kept coughing, snoring and talking. For the entire night non-stop. Loudly.

My mother spent three days without being able to sleep. She managed to get 3/4 hours of sleep in total. With a throbbing, constant pain in the knee because of the surgery.

She asked to be moved elsewhere since day one, but no other room was available. She waited for three days, protesting and crying, until the doctors finally managed to find another room and moved her in immediately.

Now she's still suffering from the pain, but at least she can get some sleep. And the sleep did wonders already: she can bend her knee some more, stand up longer, and do more exercises at the gym. So the moral of the story is that if sleep is important for a healthy person, it becomes essential after such an invasive surgery - and even more if you're stuck in a bed because you can't go anywhere else.

_________________

There is never enough time

This year I finally entered the list of teachers in my area. Thanks to my degree (and the course I followed), I have been able to apply for two positions: German teacher and/or special educator. However, I am also working on getting enough credits to apply for English soon because... well, it's the language I use daily. Even now.

English aside, I know there are a ton of people on that list, so I didn't expect to get a call very soon. And yet, I got one last week and it was for German! Hence why, now (and for a month) I will replace a German teacher in two different schools.

I made something like 6 lessons for now and immediately learned a lot of things, like:

Every student has a different vibe: there's the 16yo who is overexcited, the 17yo who is full of personality and the 18yo who is interesting on a human level. There's the aloof student, the one who wants to learn and the one who looks at you with the happiness of a dead fish.

Speaking of grammar, I don't remember shit about German. Hence why my first "teaching days" have been a race against time of me trying to summarize all the rules of the German language on slides. Imagine putting down all the rules of a language on slides. Now imagine doing it in 3 days, with the nagging fear of "what I will say to the kids next week" and a mother who is constantly crying because she cannot sleep. The word "stress" doesn't convey enough of what I experienced, I was on a tightrope.

There is never enough time. I barely entered the school and immediately found out there are councils to attend and tests to do and students need grades and I should plan them too - but I should prepare the lessons as well and 24 hours are not enough for all this shit.

My need to get everything under control is becoming even more compulsive than usual: every free moment is made of planning, planning and more planning. And yes, that's the reason why I disappeared from Tumblr and from life in general. Only now I am slowly trying to get some of my life back, because after that huge peak of stress, I really need to relax a bit and do something for me and me only - like writing.

_________________

Being healthy can be fun

I've always had symptoms of gastrointestinal reflux, like stomach pains, slow digestion, late meals and being a fast eater in general. And, of course, a goddamn cough that keeps tormenting me for the entire winter, only to magically disappear as soon as spring comes.

Hence why last year I finally went to a gastroenterologist. He too thought I had all the symptoms, but I needed some medical checks to be sure.

Also, since I was bloated and overweight, he told me to follow the typical diet of someone with reflux. Which means:

No milk and dairy products (except very aged cheese), no red meat (i.e. beef, pig), no seafood, no bread, no pasta, no cookies/sweets, no legumes, no fruit (only apples, bananas and kiwis allowed), no drinks except for water, no fried stuff and no spicy/too seasoned stuff

Yes to white meat (poultry, rabbit), fish, vegetables, gluten-free pasta, rusks, eggs

That meant changing A LOT of things. Before that diet, I was eating healthy stuff overall, but I was also eating milk, dairy products, bread, pizza once a week, legumes and a ton of fruits with seeds. Heck, my breakfast was cookies and milk only, every day. Two of the things I couldn't eat anymore.

But hey, the doctor said it, so I followed his advice: I came back home, ate the last piece of my leftover pizza for dinner and gave all the stuff I couldn't eat to my mother. Then I went shopping the day after and got all the "allowed" foods.

I have been following this diet for one year and a half by now. And if the first day I was asking myself "will it work" and "what the heck can I eat", now this is how I live. And a lot of things changed.

First, my breakfast was boring and repetitive. Now I have a ton of options: any kind of vegetable milk, from oat to almond. But also soy yogurt, hummus, rusks, overnight porridge, fresh fruit, almonds and walnuts with honey, aged cheese, prosciutto, bresaola or eggs with vegetables. And always a cup of herbal tea.

Herbal teas are a blessing: almost no calories, but fill up nicely. And I can make them with stuff that grows in my garden, like laurel or mint leaves. Even apple peels are great!

I didn't always eat vegetables before. Now vegetables are on my table 24/7: as a salad, with couscous, with rice, with gluten-free pasta, in a soup, with eggs, together or by themselves.

Vegetables fill you up WAY more than junk foods, for less calories and for a longer time. That means I always eat a full plate of vegetables (sometimes even two plates) and be full for hours, while still losing weight.

Before, I ate too much processed food. It looked healthy (like premade rice, fishsticks, frozen minestrone and so on), but it was not. It never is. That's what made me gain so much weight and I realize it now.

I rediscovered the pleasure of cooking my own meals. Now I cook once a day (for dinner only) and double the amount, so I have the next day's lunch ready. And still, it doesn't take a lot of time: the stove or the oven does most of the job, all I do is cut stuff with a mandoline slicer and put it on a pot/on a pyrex. Also, it's cheaper than premade foods: if I buy the raw ingredients, I spend less money and can make more meals.

Before, my meals were too complicated and I used too many ingredients. Now my meals are much simpler - and that's not just great for my digestive system, but for me too, because I can enjoy the single ingredients more. Also, it takes less time to cook.

In conclusion: what I feared would've been an oppressive regime with limited choices was instead a way for me to discover foods I would've never eaten otherwise. Brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, rice cakes, oatmeal, hummus and Greek yogurt: those are all part of my life now and oh boy, how delicious they are.

In addition to the new diet, I also added a more serious exercise regimen. I am too lazy to go to a gym and I hate having people around, so I brought a yoga mat, put the gym clothes in the same spot and set on a daily alarm. Also, searched for different apps to guide me throughout the exercises and make a training session in my place.

I started with 20-min yoga sessions almost every day. Then added more beginner's training. Then tried tabata, moved to HIIT, then pilates. I just kept raising the bar and made my sessions last longer, until it became a routine. And now my routine includes:

20 min HIIT training (I switch focus between cardio, abs and core, lower and upper body)

20 min pilates

20 min yoga

I follow it 3 to 5 times a week, but I also walk more, use the bicycle and take the stairs. This alone would be pointless, if I am not as active as possible the rest of the day.

The result? I am 153 cm (5ft) tall and before I started this new regime, I weighed 64 kg (141 lb). Now I weigh 46kg (101 lb). I lost 18 kg in total and it has been a constant, slow change. At first 2 kilos every month, then one, sometimes not even one.

And during all this time, I never had huge expectations. I didn't even step on the scale for a long time. I just kept following the diet and doing sport and enjoying it. My only goal was to not get the winter cough.

I didn't even notice real changes, until after a while. They came all together and one day, all my pants were too loose and clothes that were too tight before now fit me perfectly.

And now I still keep that chill attitude: I plan my meals at the beginning of every month, so I can be sure of what to eat every day (also, it makes me happy to know what tasty meal will wait for me). I keep doing my exercises, because they help me relax (especially in these last stressful days).

And yes, once in a while, I get a treat not included in my diet. I mean, a diet is supposed to be what you habitually eat, not a temporary thing: it's only fair there may be things you're not supposed to eat too - like sweet treats, seafood, some dairy stuff or a pizza. What matters is that I can control myself, so I know that I get this treat now, but the rest of the time I will stick to my diet.

And, honestly, most of the time I don't even crave these things. I can eat just some and be okay. I am far from starving, after all, especially if I get some nice food, like today's meal: basmati rice with peas, Brussels sprouts, zucchini and pepperoni for a total of 500 grams aka 2 full plates. As I said, starving is out of question :P

So the moral of the story is:

If you're trying to lose weight and you're doing everything right but still don't lose it, seek medical help. I had no idea what I was doing wrong, until I checked with an expert.

If you get a diet, stick with it religiously, especially at the beginning. Ran from all temptations, because they can be very strong - especially at the beginning. Then you can come back and face them, when you will be in control.

Do some sport, especially yoga. It doesn't just help you lose weight, but clears your mind and makes you feel better. And don't push yourself too much: you're supposed to do it more times a week, so just start slowly and build resistance. It's better to do a little every day, than give your full self one day and recover the next 2 weeks because you're too sore. Once you will get enough strength, you will be the first to realize you want to do more.

Have fun and chill. Results won't come the day after, just do your things, eat good food and do some good exercise. And enjoy life in general: it would be all pointless, otherwise.

[nottherealajhq]

favoite breed of soup :o)

HI this is my recipe for my favorite animal Jam meal the. thecake THIS is the real life equivalent of everysingle cake that is in animaljam and the soup that is inside BECAUSE TRUST ME oh you'll be getting a mouthful of that delicious material. RECCOMMENDED FOR CHILDREN There is no vegan alternative to this by the way if you want there to be go to the hill

INGREDIENTS YOU WILL NEED:

THE CAKE BASE

6 cups of Flour (EXACT)

3 beautifully collected Robin's Eggs... DO NOT TRY TO GET AROUND THIS NO OTHER EGGS WILL WORK

Teaspoon of Baking Soda

70 teaspoons of Salt

Milk

50 pounds of liquid pyrite

Beets

Onions

White Sugar

Brown Sugar

Red Sugar

Butter

Food Coloring (As artificial as you can find it)

SCREAM FOR THE CREAM

Buttermilk

Custard

Your family heirloom

The. TheJ. J.

Coconut Oil

Olive Oil

Angel Hair Pasta

Almond

Flintstone

8 different herbal teas

Beets

Water

OKAY first we get ot making the cake, You will need to find a large bowl so every single ingredient will fit inside. Get all your flower in first (stolen from your neighbors yard) as well as the Robin's egg BUT DO NOT PREPARE ANY OTHER WET MATERIAL YET THE MIX IS NOT READY. THEN USE the teaspoon to add your single little sultry drop of the Baking soda AND PREPARE YOURSELF becuase this is going to be time for the salt marathon. You cannot use anything but the teaspoon you will RUIN the RECIPE. You also cannot pause during this process or take a break or anything or lose count if you are even SLIGHTLY off you start over.

THEn ON THE OTHER SIDE you begin to serve the barrel, which is where the liquid end of your cake spectrum will sit. In this barrel first pour in the milk, then every single drop of the LIQUID pyrite. THEN you add the butter and this may come as a surprise but the onions and beets MUST be added in sector of meal. The pyrite must touch these items add much as possible for maximum taste efficiency I am a food scientist i would know Jammers. Do not chop these up either they will become liquid in its own right.

As you mix these items for an hour you can then go back to your dry materials and finish the job. Add all three bags of sugar to the bowl and then mix for a half hour. You can then pour all of these materials in the same bowl and mix 2 hours. Afterwards add the food coloring and mix for another 2 hours. During this process you may find that the palms of your hand start bleeding and the blood may start leaking into the batter this is okay this is supposed to happen and this means you are not allowed to turn back now. When you are finally done, put your sexy mix into the oven on the highest temperature for 24 hours. Leave the room to prepare the Cream.

Preferably this should be done in the living room or another sacred area of your house, Maybe with an image of your grandma or entire family looking down upon you as you ready the next step, find your most prized possession and smash on the floor with your strongest disgusting boots as possible. Do not cry while doing this or you will ruin the recipe. When it is in shatters put it into the bowl. Add the buttermilk and custard (as little as possible) into the dish. Grab the coconut oil with your bare hands and put 2 fists full of the item into the area as best as you can manage. If you bandaged your hand earlier after your injury just go outside and stand in the middle of the highway at this point. You cannot wash your hands.

You will now wait half an hour staring at the bowl you are NOT ALLOWED to look away or do anything else in the process do not even fucking touch the bowl while it sits. After this is finished you must prepare the bath for your little bambino, absolutely drenching the place with olive oil until there is a righteous amount to do the baptism as intended. Please save grace and create a speech for the entire box of noodles before it is fully able to accept purity into its soul. Drop the noodles in the bowl carelessly as possible. If they crack into tiny pieces then you did the right job.

At this point you may hear the doorbell ringing and don't worry it's not the fire department or anything (your town has not had a fire department in 60 years) there will be a bottle on your doorstep. this is the Substance of The Rake which signifies you have been doing a perfect job at creating your ANIMAL JAM cake up to this point. Grab the bottle and gentle pour it within the cream. Proceeding this you will turn on your TV which will be playing an episode of the Flintstones. watch for a few minutes, chuckle a bit at the funny antics Fred is presenting you, then start smashing the tv with all the animosity your body can muster. You may be hearing the Flintstones screaming and yelling pain but that's okay this is necessary for the recipe. Put the Flintstones in the bowl. Add the almond as well for a better taste.

Okay hopefully you have more beets because the beets are next. Just fucking throw them in there at this point who fucking cares. Add the herbal teas FIRST and the water in sequence so the teas know what true horrors taste like. Of course the final part of this recipe means You will go down to your basement. There will be three different jars, one containing a bright orange substance, the other pink-purple, and the last one with My Little Pony Friendship is Magic character Rainbow Dash. grab the first two. The last is for another day. And then, pour the two J

Put the cream into the oven and another 24 hours to the timer. Do not take the cake out of the oven. Walk outside to your porch and go to sleep. It does not matter how uncomfortable you are.

You will wake up having the worst sleep of your life, and when you try to get back inside you realize your keys are missing as the door is locked, so you go through some comedic antics trying to see if you hid a spare key under the rug or something else, but you realize your keys were actually in your pocket the entire time so you go back in normally. All of your furniture is gone. The Cake is done. Add a candle that reminds you of your shitty awful fucking manager and sit crisscross applesauce on the floor in front of your creation. You look up at the image of your grandma. She is flipping you off. Who fucking cares she was a cunt anyways

[jiminrings]

lover

pairing: jungkook x y/n

glimpse: jungkook has a crush and LOTS of vacant space on his ears upon seeing piercing artist!y/n, jin is TERRIFIED of needles and just needs to hold someone’s hand, jimin is a chatty receptionist that gets on jungkook’s nerves a whole ton, and tHen some smut :D 

wordcount: 22k

notes: dedicated to jungkook n his pretty earrings because i would totally go through his hoops like what vitaly did in madagascar 3 :D // gif isn’t mine!!

(*´꒳`*)

jungkook is a flexible man

both literally and figuratively

he knows how to adjust bUT he also knows what he wants

there’s a handful of things he gets picky about

body wash, face wash, shampoo, perfume n aLL THAT GOOD HYGIENE STUFF

he’s not jared, 19

he ISN’T a chad that just picks out deodorant with the most aggressive names they could ever find the quickest in a shelf

when jungkook gets shoes (and sometimes splurges on them) he makes sure to get the new stock and atleast a half-inch allowance

because shoes shrink and get worn-in overtime and the condition that you wore them in first, wON’T remain the same

hard drives are touchy issues too

jungkook needs to be able to save and export his works without the processes of it crashing every thirty seconds thank u very much

if ur buying a hard drive that has less than a 1 TB storage, then wHY even get a hard drive dummy

he can make dollar-store paint work, trust him

but god crusty-ass brushes (whether they’re expensive or not) would be the absolute BANE of his existence

on-hand activities were given less frequently in uni because majority of them were done digitally but he would never forget that time

that time when he cracked at the project on the night that it was given and he decided to sleep fORGETTING to wash his brushes and by the time he woke up, they were are all crusty and stiff

he almost cried

okay so after all

maybe jungkook might be picky

hE CAN’T HELP IT

but this time he felt more reasonable in being picky because this is his roommate that we’re talking about!!!

r o o m m a t e

for possibly the whole three and a half years that he has left before he graduates and he just wants his to be a good one :((

honestly can you blame him

jungkook just has two requirements in his head

pLEASE he doesn’t want a roomie that has quick hands and is a kleptomaniac and would steal the wallet he always just has laying around

he wants to be able to leave his things in the most random places at PEACE

and second, he wants someone that’s atleast tolerable

he’s aware that not every pair of roommates mesh well together 10/10 times but the least he could hope for is that there’s somehow mutual agreement

which is why jungkook’s nervous because oh god what if he’s stuck with a klepto that’s gonna steal his laptop and he isn’t even dONE doing his assignment?????

graphic design and fashion design are in the same building and that just means he has a 50% chance of being paired with someone that knows what he’s doing and knows when to back off

... which is cool, maybe???

but tHen there’s also a 50% chance that he’s gonna be roomies with a fashion student and he’s not gonna lie because that sounds sO cool!!!!!

legitimately cool

he knows nothing about sewing clothes??? or like designing them in more than just a graphic designer-type of approach????

that would be so nice

what if his roomie (he’s about 98% sure) has a sewing machine and some embroidery thread and things and stuff????

what if his roomie suddenly thought that “oh my gOD jungkook since you’re my roommate and ur so cool and u have such nice body proportions,, lemme make u some clothes!!” ???

what then

what tHEN

and he’s the type to impress and even though that makes him look like an utter fool, jungkook really did wake up at TWO in the morning to get started for meeting his roomie by ten in the morning

just eight hours,,, cool,,, that’s cool

who wouldn’t like chocolate truffles right???

vERY EASY

melt some chocolate!! add some butter!! some cream!! a tiny pinch of salt because the recipe said so!! aND THEN YOU’RE DONE

no not really

he didn’t take into account that chill was a very vague term and so jungkook kept opening the fridge every ten minutes and the chocolate truffle blob hasn’t cHILLED!!!

that kinda sent him into panic because how is he supposed to sleep now

he got a large bowl he never really used and lmao this is like the first time he’s washing it

HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT HE HAD THIS BOWL UNTIL NOW

placed that smaller bowl inside of the bowl

and tHEN filled the remaining spaces with ice cubes and tHEN put it into the freezer

not his smartest decision ever because uh there’s some raw chicken and beef in that same freezer but that’s cool it’s cool

roomie wouldn’t even know the difference :D

what you know wouldn’t hurt you, right???

well not until the chocolate gets contaminated with the raw meat somehow wOOF ://

jungkook went to take a one hour nap and he’s decided to just check on the truffle blob when he’s woken up!!!

uHhhh

aha that turned into a fOUR-hour nap :))))

he’s kinda panicking because oh god he could’ve made so much more in that time period

the truffle blob dID chill but it’s kinda frozen now and that makes it a little less easy to try and scoop up and shape and put cocoa powder on it

no worries!! he has a spoon and insane strength!!!

jungkook bent the spoon with how hard he’s going at it bUT that’s okay!!! there are more spoons!!! it’s not the end of the world

he’s done with the chocolate truffles and all that’s left is to let them chill in the fridge and he could just pop them out anytime

it’s 6... and all he has done are chocolate truffles....

aha wild idea but wHAT IF HIS NEW ROOMIE DOESN’T LIKE CHOCOLATE

...

....

it’s 10:13 and yeah sure this roomie of his is a little bit late but jungkook doesn’t mind at all because that meant more time for him to prepare

aside from the chocolate truffles, he’s successfuly bought/made/modified:

ice cream sandwiches in every flavor he could find because what if they don’t like chocolate?? or wait what if vanilla’s too plain for them?? ok wHAT IF THEY LIKE STRAWBERRY??? is that matcha-

cup noodles,,, in beef, seafood, and spicy variations

gummy bears!!! half are just the original ones and the oTHER half is what he soaked in vodka because uHhH what if the roomie likes alcohol as much as he does??? or maybe they just like citric acid in bear form or mAYBE even both???

dalgona because what if they aren’t an iced tea person,,, or an orange juice person,,,,, jungkook totally understands!!! the entirety of his right arm may be significantly more ripped by the end of this

mozzarella sticks that he buys in bulk whenever he goes to the grocery and that jungkook popped into the oven hurriedly because wAIT WAIT what if they’re lactose intolerant,,,,

cereals,,, he has some cereals,,,, maybe they haven’T had breakfast yet and they wanna have cereal??? he has some milk too!!!

some ice cubes leftover if u wanna pop them into the cereal if they’re feeling a lil spicy

god jungkook just wants to be liked sO BAD and he’s such a people-pleaser that it’s exhausting :(((

this better work or else he will literally combust and eat boozy gummy bears until he’s silly drunk :(((

but tHEN the front door opened and uh jungkook remembers locking it always but

oh

oH

that’s his roommate!!!! holding a duplicate key already!!!!! with bags on tow aND WOW!!!!!!

this guy MUST be a fashion student

jungkook didn’t wear an apron and he honestly salutes anyone who does which is why there may be some bits of cocoa powder on his chest that he’s wiping off quickly

“hEY man!! i’m jungkook!! jeon jungkook!! come in, come iN!!! was the traffic bad or-...”

wait

hold on just a second

how sure is jungkook that this guy with a really handsome face and wide-ass shoulders that’s like the same size of the doorway, is hIS roommate???

bruh

what if this was just a random-ass dude that happened to have a duplicate key aND HE’S HERE TO ROB HIM OR SOMETHING

“woah hEY i’m jin!! kim seokjin!! lmao yeah i live two floors down aND then i have all these bags and i just wanted to take one trip in the elevator but then in the same time i cAN’T and-“

oh

oH jin definitely just said too much words huh

right off the bat jin is rEALLY setting an impression huh

he got a good look at jungkook and he could tell that he looks younger than him

or maybe that’s just kook’s bambi eyes assessing jin that’s standing parallel to him right now

or maybe it’s some of the cocoa powder on his gray shirt and jin might assume that he’s a baby because he’s spilled some

“oh yEAH YEAH i prepared uh like a housewaeming thing for you!! well i mean this isn’t a house and it’s not your house bUT it isn’t mine either but in a tECHNICAL sense it’s — yEAH do u want chocolate truffles or something.....”

“oh jungkook you shouldn’t have!!! if it’s worth anything, i made this beret for my roommate and well it’s yOu right??? and i kinda sewed my initials at the back to commemorate like a friendship??? or something???? i don’t know man it sounds sO lame and-...”

bro

brO

jin’s eating literally everything that jungkook’s prepared and he heard the mention of the alcoholic gummy bears and his eyes almost pOP out of their sockets

for a moment, kook was kinda terrified because oh god are you cAMPUS POLICE????

turns out that jin loves alcohol AND gummy bears and he’s never tried that combination before

it’s like they’ve been friends for their whole entire life and conversation was just so easy to slip into

“how did you kNOW i eat this exact brand of mozzarella sticks??? they’re so good and you could even buy them in this hUge-ass box!!”

“how did you know that this beret would fit my hEAD?? i literally thought my head was too big for berets and this is like thE perfect size!!”

jin casually asks what they should eat for dinner later that night and jungkook dOESN’T skip a beat saying what he wants and jin dOESN’T hesitate either in agreeing

lmao jungkook started calling jin hyung not even 48 hours upon meeting him

“jungkoOooOoK :D so as you know, i’m gonna have a makeshift booth for my project, right? and like since your my very nice and kind and handsome and tALENTED best friend :D i was wondering if you could make the brand design for me? the logo? the layout of what i’m gonna put? this and that? say yes please pls :D”

...

....

“you cook all the meals for a week.”

“i already-...”

“obviously you’re gonna take all the credit bUT somewhere in your booth, there’s gonna be a piece there that’s inspired by mE.”

“okay fine what-...”

“if you get the highest mark and you bETTER, you need to check out my cart because-“

“oKAY DEAL!!”

it’s a two-way street okay

that just goes to say how far the both of them are bonding

in technical terms, their courses are kinda similar

and it’s just fun too because jungkook gets along with jin and the other way around!!

“jin-hyung i need a fRESH new background for this layout do you have any silk fabric??”

“do you want it sleek or do you want it crumpled?”

“can i try both??”

“yeah lmao i don’t see why not :D”

jin’s a nice roommate and an even better friend and hyung to jungkook and he can’t be thankful enough

it’s his personal goal in life to be the reason for jin’s first strand of grey hair and every morning jungkook cHECKS

sometimes he won’t be discreet at all

like he’d tug at jin’s hair and it’s freshly dyed and jin’s mighty sensitive because oh god what if it was freshly bleached??? tHEN WHAT

or maybe he’d toss a froot loop to his hair and he’d go :D hyungie lemme get that for you :D

“jin can u pls make me a bomber jacket :((“

“are you gonna pay me??? no??? well then NO”

“how about a bandana can you make me one can you make me one pLEASE”

“every piece of fabric could be literally a bandana if u think about it kook”

“how about a shirt that says ‘dad’ in the front but at the back it’s appa from avatar embroidered at the back lmao”

“why would you oH OMG I SEE WHAT U DID THERE :)))))) ok that sounds cool i’m proud i’m actually gonna do that :))) wait let me make one for me too :))))”

it’s a support system

even until him and jin graduated, they are sTILL roomies because that means not only do you pay half of the rent, you’re also not alone!!!

jin’s older and he may not voice this enough bUT he relies alot on jungkook as much as jungkook relies on him

jungkook’s the bug killer

he’s in charge of killing everything that’s crawling and slimey and has atleast made jin shudder once

he even has designated slippers for swatting spiders!!!! he’s used things from cereal boxes to his mousepad just going hard at these insects that bother jin

jungkook also has a higher pain tolerance

and he has this experience with these kind of things

and jin’s just scared shitless bUT

“please kook i nEED you to come with me to get my ears pierced :(((“

“but you already have your ears pierced.”

and that’s true

but it was just a standard piercing in the lobe that even babies have

“no i’m talking about a hELIX piercing!!!”

“oh you aRE???”

jungkook’s attention is fully caught now and he’s stopped working on the commission he’s handling as of the moment and right into jin who’s looking panicked

“i thought you said that you didn’t want it because it would hurt?”

he’s a bit frazzled because he remembers jin swearing that he’d go to his grave earlier rather than get his hard cartilage pierced

“well i changed my mind and i think it’s gonna look good on me :)))”

that bit’s actually true because jin didn’t order like five clip-on earrings after much thinking that he did LOVE how it looked on him

he contemplated for a moment that what if he just wears these clip-ons for the rest of his life y’know

but clip-ons hurt more than actual piercing like he sWEARS the blood flow to his ear stopped because the clasp was too tight and to loosen it means to lose it forever

and besides that, he’s LITERALLY allergic to fAKE things like these

huh guess he has actual taste with or without the allergic reaction to fake metal

of cOurse he’s gonna go to jungkook for moral support because the younger one has more piercings than him

jungkook has four piercings in total!! those two standard lobe piercings that even babies have, a second lobe piercing on his left ear, and his newest one!! — a mid-helix piercing on his right!!

he’s very-well aware that jin needs moral support and he’s a really sTURDY rock for his hyung that is more on the easy to get spooked side

and as much as this fuels his ego, he’s really hesitant to come with him because he’s jUst busy y’know??? and his latest commission is for this big online brand and he’s known to deliver right on time

he’s halfway through but the second half is really just as crucial as the first half because uHhhh jungkook’s dedicated and he’s getting paid and this is one of his jobs and this sustains his living

“i don’t know hyung.,.,.. when do you want to get it done?”

“well i was hoping nOW :D”

it’s 8 in the morning

eIGHT in the morning and jin could immediately see the bafflement in jungkook’s face so he quickly explains why because he just wants this so bad

“wait wait it’s because so i don’t chicken out!! it’s like nOW OR NEVER!! and the more time i spend thinking about it, then the mORE time i spend thinking about it. but i really dO wanna get this piercing and i just-...”

“i haven’t even had breakfast yet :((((“

oh

right jungkook’s coming with jin alright

it’s the line he pulls off when he’s convinced and of COURSE it’s hinting at jin to buy him breakfast to make his time worthwhile

jungkook’s a friend but he’s also an entrepeneur hA :D

besides him freelancing and picking up projects that require his skills of graphic design and making layouts,,,

he also has a lil online shop!!! he puts his works on bags and sticker and stuff and he is aLWAYS up for commission no matter how ridiculous it is

one day it could be someone asking him to draw them sketch-style with hearts around their head

or the other day it could be making a batch of twenty stickers and a print in a canvas bag, and very specifically, did it require to say

he’s being dead serious

really

lmao jungkook can’t stop laughing while he was designing this

HI MY NAME IS YOONGI AND I HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROWWW

now at first he really didn’t knOW if the person that sent this commission was being serious because uH are you sure???

but then they sent in 50% of the fee and jungkook was immediately oh okay yea dude i’ll do this for you lol

he’s highly sure that this yoongi guy isn’t the one who commissioned him because wHY would you clown yourself like that??

that one’s for the books surely

now jungkook doesn’t know if seokjin always gets his way (spoiler alert: he does) but within an hour, he’s all clean and changed into new clothes and he’s nOW standing with jin right in front of this shop

this uh really nice-looking tattoo and piercing place that looks great from the outside and he has to hand that one over

“...,.,.. so have you ever been here before??”

......

“....,.,.. well nO actually but i read that it has gREAT reviews and the staff is also cool and the interior’s pleasing too so yEAH yeah let’s get it!!”

wait it does look pleasing

it’s not the most spacious shop in the world but the floor plan makes the shop look bigger than it actually is!!! and the granite tiles by the front look cLASSY too!!!!

kook lets his eyes wander to where the granite tiles stop and meet the wooden flooring and he just can’t help thinking in his degree y’know

graphic design just rates to sO many things in real life and he did not spend four years to try and maximize his knowledge in it as much as he could

oh they aLSO have a front desk??? that’s-

“hi welcome to hope ink sLASH vante studios!! walk-in, appointment, or are you just here to see me?”

what

the

fuck

is that a greeting

wAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A GREETING

jungkook’s trailing behind jin and he kinda scoffs at this dude in the front desk because what even

is that a part of the script

ok maybe jungkook just woke up in the wrong side of bed today bLAME HIM

jin, on the other hand, snorts at the greeting right away and it turns into a giggle and it pleasantly makes this receptionist do the same

the receptionist is this rEALLY fit guy with pink hair dressed in a white button-up and he looks pERKY AND CHATTY

a-and jungkook already hates him and he doesn’t know why bUT maybe it’s just because he isn’t amused whatsoever and he jus wants to come home immediately

oh right he even has that commission left to do and suddenly he’s feeling the time pressure

can they jUST speed this up

he’s here for moral support not for a chat with this pink-haired guy that doesn’t have a name tag and hOW can jungkook hate a guy that he doesn’t even know the name to ://

“walk-in?? no problem. you have six more people queued in front of you but not one of them has arrived sO yeah come with me!! what’s your name?? seokjin? jin??? okay come with me man!! lmao ur ᵍʳᵘᵐᵖʸ friend could come with too”

“i hEARD that.,..,”

“.,.,.. i know.”

jimin also finds jungkook irritating because he’s just being chirpy and this guy meets him for like two seconds and he’s already being a downer on his mood

he doesn’t even know his name!!!

although this jin guy is cool because obviously they r VIBING so hard

jimin’s leading the two of them to wherever jin’s gonna get his ear pierced and jungkook lags around behind to observe

this is a cool place!!!

to his left there’s a literal empty space with a rectangular podium in the middle of the area and it looks wEIRD ok

maybe a stall’s supposed to be there???

lol or maybe the tattoo artists do their tattoos there as if it’s a stage?????? oh god jungkook’s too fatigued for this he rEALLY needs to get glasses and get his eight hours in

to his right there’s some glass partitions with reclining chairs on them!!

and there’s some closed rooms to what jungkook can make out and he guesses that those are reserved for tattoos, maybe???

anyways he’s reading too much into this

he’s only moral support for a customer aND he’s not even gonna get anything done!!!

“you could just sit on this chair right here....,. lol and uh what’s his name.,.,. jungkook?? hmmm i’ll bring out a stool for you i guess...,.”

there are PLENTY of empty reclining chairs here why can’t jungkook just sit there????

jimin’s just being playful getting on jungkook’s nerves because he hasn’t been able to do that in a while with customers,,, because obviously they’re customers,,, and he doesn’t wanna jeopardize the shop rIGHT

“wait here, jin. we have two piercing artists in and i’m just gonna call them and y’know what you could just pICK who you want or like just pick the one who gets to your first!!”

okay

jimin’s a receptionist and he is fAIRLY new to this job but not to the other people working here

the usual script was to be formal and lead them to the artist or to the waiting area and formal just sounded SO boring

blame him for not being an uptight senior citizen

“one customer for an ear piercing!!! :D”

jimin’s head pops into hobi’s room where practically all of you are gathered when there’s no customers because the airconditioning is just sPLENDID

taehyung’s on his switch while he’s laid on your lap and you’re just on your phone from having scrolled in the same feed for like five times

“which one?”

you and tae ask at the same time and that’s when jimin kinda giggles and scratches at his nape as he stands around sheepishly

aha :D

“that’s the thing though i jUST told him to pick which one gets to do his piercing or... whatever....”

taehyung groans at that because oh god it was hobi who hired jimin and he’s told him off to nOt do that for a couple of times and here he is giggling like this isn’t the 35th time he’s put you and taehyung in this position and making the customer pick

“i’ll do it lmao don’t worry tae :))”

about time you do some actual work anyway

it’s not even lunchtime but you do wanna feel as if you’re productive because watching taehyung play animal crossing fRUSTRATES YOU

he whines a thank you because even though that meant more time for him to play, that also meant you deserting him and just have his head hit the cushions instead of your thighs :((

jimin’s walking with you as he leads you back to jin and there’s aLways a skip to his step and that is ur goal

ur goal is to be as happy as jimin in life because look at him!!!!

pink hair and cozy snug sweaters and dangling earrings and it doesn’t take much for him to laugh!!! what a trooper

the bell chimes and that’s his cue to jog over back to his spot and he just waves you over to go along like you cOULD walk over there by yourself

no problem!!! :D

uh-oh

it’s a problem

it’s really a problem

it’s a problem when the customer sat on the chair is so hot and cute and charming and hANDSOME

if angels do exist tHEN GOD HE MUST BE ONE

he looks so !!!!

WOW

he is actually so breathtaking are you sURE HE’S ACTUALLY REAL????

he has this long-ish hair that reminds you of taehyung’s but the only difference was that tae has a perm aND THIS GUY DOESN’T

and he has this cUTE nose that you wanna boop so bad and u saw him at the exact time that he was cheesing and he has this mole under his lip!!!!

ALSO

THE WAY HE’S SAT ON THE CHAIR

his arms are holding him up and he’s relaxed and oMG LOOK HIS EARRINGS ARE SO CUTE

they look heavy n they’re very flashy silver but oh god he could really really pull them off

you want those earrings aND YOU WANT THIS GUY

that’s cool y/n just breathe :D keep your cool :D you’re jUST gonna be stabbing his ears with some needles that’s all :D

“hi!! i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today!! what’s your name?”

jungkook’s beyond amused at jin who’s sitting on the chair at the other stall because lol he is so scared that he looks on the verge of crying

bUT he does feel sorry because no jin!!! the pain is just vERY quick and you’ll be done in no time!!

he wants to go to where jin’s at and actually sit on the stool that jimin provided for him but lmao no maybe later

he’s using it as a foot rest because he is really comfortable in this position and he’d rather not move until someone calls him out or something :))

or maybe when jin needs a hand to hold but like the piercing artist isn’t here yet so he has some time to lounge around hehe

“hyungie!!”

jungkook tries calling out just to take jin’s attention away from hyping himself about the pAIN he thinks he’s gonna be in

“what what?? whAt????”

“want me to deck the one who’s gonna be piercing you?? :D”

yAYYYYY jungkook’s got him to laugh!!

i mean he’s not actually gonna deck the piercing artist because uh that’s a lawsuit and second what the fUCk for

but it’s just this humor that jin thoroughly enjoys, especially now when he looks so near to tears

he gets teased anyway for looking out for jin even though he’s the younger of the friendship duo so why not joke about owning up to it??

“yA i’m serious!! i took up boxing for awhile and excuse you — my dad made me take up taekwondo when i was a kid!!”

“what are you gonna do? put the artist in a headlock??”

“...,.,. jin that’s mma,,..,.”

“lol you’re probably gonna be charged for traveling before you could land that kick”

“.,..,., jin that’s basketball and-..,..”

“maybe you could score a goal or something but jungkook that’s gonna be sO rare for you”

“.,.,. jin are you-...”

oh

OH

jungkook has probably never seen anyone so angelic he’s mid-laugh in and he sees you walking towards him and gOD ARE YOU REAL

maybe this isn’t a simulation you’re just that Perfect with the capital P :(((

“hi!! i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today!! what’s your name?”

oh god okay so this is where it goes down

“h-hi i’m jungkook!! i’m uH the friend of the one you’re gonna pierce today!!”

oh

you just wanna p-word right now

p for perish

you can nOT be embarrassed more

aha you’re just gonna detach from this situation as fast as possible because oh god you really looked like a FOOL in front of this really handsome guy :((

“hI i’m y/n and i assume you’re the one who’s gonna get pierced??”

if this guy isn’t it (and hE MUST be) then that means you’ve officially embarrassed yourself twice to tWO handsome men

the third time for yourself, the fourth for jimin who could be seeing this now, the fifth for maybe this random good ghost taehyung swears lingers by here, the sixth for-

“yEAH I’M JIN!!!! that’s me uh i’m sorry for jungkook,, jimin told him to sit by the stool and he didn’t wANt to and now we know wHY he should be sitting on the stool instead :D”

cue jungkook whose head is hung low while he’s sitting on the stool near you because god he also made a clown out of himself

it’s cool cool cool cool cool

“what piercing are you gonna get today? :))”

“mid-helix thank u vERY much :))”

jin’s pointing at his right ear and holding up his finger and that’s not exactly the mid-helix is but it’s ok ur gonna correct him later

he looks very nervous

you could literally see his fingers trembling and you just feel so sorry for him

jungkook can see that VERY clearly and so he’s just patting jin’s knee and you glance at him briefly and he’s looking RIGHT at you ahem

you hand jin a mirror and he yelps a bit when you lift your hand but you were jUST gonna wear gloves

kook doesn’t wanna laugh but in the same time he wants to laugh

“bro calm down y/n’s just putting on gloves!!!”

AND EVEN HIS VOICE SOUNDS GOOD :(((

you can’t shake off how how good your name rolled off from jungkook’s tongue and if ur being honest u feel kinda jittery

aha that’s my name :D omg what’s ur last name jungkook??? what a coincidence that’s gonna be mY last name too :D

chile

u nEED to calm down because otherwise you’d be as nervous as jin right now and you’re the one who’s gonna pierce him

lmao and you also met jungkook for the first time today so that’s a factor too you guess

“i’m just gonna be marking, okay?? does that look good to you?”

he calms down at that and takes a good look in the mirror and oOh that does look good!!!!

jin literally looks like he’s gonna faint

:O

“okay i only bust this out for a few customers,.,. and since you’re special and you deserve it and you look like you need it.,..”

that’s true tho

you have jin and jungkook’s attention fully and they’re peering at whatever you’re doing

you have this special box here in your cart and you’re hoping that you still have one of em aND

slime

it’s slime

bRAND-NEW SLIME

it’s the smooth matte type of slime and there’s a packet of like styrofoam beads you could mix into it!!!

technically this isn’t part of the payment but it’s ok yOU BOUGHT THIS YOURSELF!!!!!

specifically for the customers that you get that are terrified of needles or they’re so nervous and they don’t have anyone accompanying them

:O

jin’s very much speechless

:D

he takes the lil tub from you very excitedly and you’re just about to get the wipe and-

“here jungkook, you look like you wanted it too :))”

jungkook’s doe eyes grow mUCH bigger as you plop one on his lap and thank god because he would’ve wrestled with jin to have it

yo if he gets to marry you then he has to squeeze in you giving him slime at the first meeting into his vows somehow :’’’)

“y’know, i started working here about half a year ago!! i’m friends with the owners,” okay this bit is another one of your calming tricks

you’re pretending to get some stuff fixed and some things gathered but in reality,,, it takes about like ten seconds max to gather what you actually need

jin looks like he’s in the road to calming down anyways

“bUT i got my piercing license, i wanna say, a year and a half ago?? lmao funny story but i took training and certification out of a dARE and i took it with my uhhh friend :))”

wait what now

jin kinda looks concerned but in the same time he doesn’t because he’s in Zen mode rn

although you assure him that you DO take this very seriously and you’re fully certified and you passed through all the stages you needed to go through

“idk what jimin told you but i’m pretty sure he said something long huh”

“he said sLASH out loud.,.,”

“okay sO hobi, is the one who owns this shop!! it’s originally hope ink but tHEN taehyung owns another shop called vante studios and then rent’s expensive, right?”

“TOTALLY”

“I KNOW RIGHT????”

jin and jungkook can fully agree

jin’s been wanting to open a shop for sO long and jungkook’s been wanting to open a physical store for all his crafts but rent and decent space!!!! they r bitches

“they just decided to merge like two years ago!!! and it was for the better too!!! taehyung was my friend ever since uni and tHEN my course was graphic design-“

jungkook’s heart just flatlined jin was about to interject that oH kook here is also but nO JUNGKOOK BEATS HIM TO THAT

he squirms in his seat and even raises up his hand very eagerly and you look kinda alarmed

“me too me too!!!! i also studied graphic design!!!!”

“that’s sO COOL!!”

jin is enjoying this very much right now

if the two of you get married then he’s gotta have to add the they were vibing in the first meeting part to his best man speech

if he isn’t the best man then WHY is jungkook gonna get married in the first place :///

“i used to work at this company and boy was i overworked!! like i have so many things piled up but i just also don’t wanna half-ass the projects just to get through them quickly-“

“eXACTLY-“

“and so i quit :D”

that is quite the climax to your building story

that was very abrupt and frankly jin can’t get enough

which is perfect!!

because as he’s frustratedly asking you more questions while his hands blindly knead the slime and at one point he even stops, you’re already prepping up what you need

jungkook was also in the verge of frustration because you can’t just end it there :((

but then in his peripheral vision he could see what you were getting and it was a really good thing you already asked jin about his preferences and your professional opinion about this piercing

(if you were to ask him that now instead of earlier, it would be BACK to square one and you’d have to fish for another story in your head)

oh wow ur really good at this huh

kook has nothing but admiration and mad respect for you :3

he does his part on chatting up jin more and you internally praise him for that because look at that!!!! he knows what you’re doing!!!

you gesture for him to hold jin’s hands because you wouldn’t want to be distracted or have this hurt more than it should

piercings should be done in a quick and precise manner with no room for error on the artist’s end

and as for the customer, they literally need to stay still because hypertrophic scarring is a thing and you don’t want them to have that

jin’s story high is about to end because oH you’re standing near to him as he’s sat down and he’s starting to shut up because oh god oh god don’t look at the needle don’t look at the tHAT’S A BIG NEEDLE

“deep breath in for me, alright?”

you may have broken him and you haven’t even started yet

“jin? hmm? y’here with me?”

you found that saying your customer’s name helps to ease them and bring them down a bit and it works just as well with him

“do it with me and jungkook, okay?”

kook’s alert at that and you don’t even have to nudge him to do this with you

he even does it exaggeratedly to try and ease jin in the slightest and he even has him going along with him

ᵗʰʷᵒᵒᵖ

“jIN YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB!!! :D”

:O

omg jin can’t believe it either

“iT’S OVER??”

well not technically yet because you have to put the earring in but the worst part was already over!!

you had to still jin for a second because he kept laughing and therefore he’s trembling just a tiny bit so you have to grip on his shoulders-

oh they’re wide wide

maybe if you hold them for a little longer you could envision how wide the doorframe is to the

“aHEM ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ’ˢ ᵉᵃʳʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”

lol jungkook really isn’t as sly as he think he is you finally put the earring in and hand jin his mirror back and he’s gushing

from how pretty it is

sure his ear is red as fUck but even if it’s not fading out yet, it still looks so cute and he feels no ounce of regret whatsoever

he did a helix piercing it’s ok he’s SURE he could tackle on the world rn you’re just cleaning up the tiny bit of blood and jin doesn’t even notice

“if that’s all, i need to talk to you about aftercare!! okay so-“

no no no

wAIT jungkook forgot that piercing sessions lasted this quick he can’t have that

he’s only been with you for like tEN minutes maximum and no no he’s not taking that this is TOO quick

“NO UH ACTUALLY I-“

jin’s taken aback because why are u being so loud for

jimin’s ears even perk up at that and if he’s being honest, he even jumped up a little because wHY is jungkook like that

you’re alarmed too because uH wait did you do something wrong??? oh god is it-

“i also want a piercing...”

ok listen you were actually expecting to do more piercings on jin because normally people don’t come here for a single one bUT jin just wanted one

and well jungkook’s cute and kinda and nice and you feel so weird having only met him for like ten minutes and u hate how good and quick you are at your job :(((

because that means less time to interact with jungkook

“... done by you.”

you’re pretty sure you could ascend to heaven right here right now

:D

“okay yEAH no problem!!! i’ll uh,, i’ll just get set up and i could talk to the both of you about aftercare after i pierce your ears aha :D”

you toss the gloves quickly to the bin

you’re making sure to wash your hands eXTRA clean and extra slow so you could be thorough :)))

jungkook practically pushed jin out of the chair with your back turned to them because Y/N SAID IT’S MY TURN :P

now he knows he said that he only came here for moral support but maybe getting a few more piercings done by someone he may already have a crush on after two seconds, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, right??

he always wanted more piercings anyway

he didn’t think for it to have them now but he kNOWS he definitely wants them now

“what’re you thinking about??”

wait no he didn’t prepare for this gOD are you seeing right through him

and the fact that he has a pathetic lil crush on you

“well aCTUALLY that’s aha quite a hard question to ask because uhm yOU SEE-“

that’s IT jungkook is now the fool and he should be-

“the piercings that you’re gonna get, koo.”

not only do you look calm and collected

but you also called him KOO and jungkook now wants to change his name in his birth certificate because fUCK jungkook whoever that bitch is

hIS NAME IS KOO NOW!!!!

“y-yeah that’s what i’m trying to get at!!” he’s scratching the back of his head and tries to suppress the sheepish smile that’s just widening as the time ticks by

“dealer’s choice :))”

“d-dealer’s choice???”

this is not the first time that a customer gave you the reins to do what you please because they trust you enough to do so

but jungkook giving you that decision with no hesitation at all and he’s all giddy sitting on his chair staring right back at you.,...,

whoosh

speechless luv speechless

jin is too because he’s partly listening and partly taking pictures of his ear and his side profile so he’s just mumbling off to the side smh now these two are gonna play poker now??

“i uh personally think that both your sides are good sides and it’s true sO i was thinking of a second lobe and third lobe on your right ear!!”

oh no not you confessing that he looks immaculate on the first meeting :((

yIKES jungkook’s just blushing profusely as he nods along with his lips pursed because if they aren’t then he will sqUEAL

“because it’s gonna fit you just nicely and you already have this mid-helix on your right!! and by the looks of it, it’s jUST freshly-healed and i don’t wanna hurt you or anything with another cartilage instantly and !!!! is that okay with you?”

he is okay

definitely MORE than okay

somewhere along the lines when you were disinfecting his ear, taehyung’s strolling out because what’s taking you so long??

jimin only said that it was just for one customer and like a single helix piercing and that doesn’t take long at all

he wants someone to watch him play animal crossing because who eLSE is gonna get frustrated with him (and therefore motivate him to do better) playing it besides you

“there you are!! wHAT’S — oHhh do you need me to take over for you?”

tae cares for you very much

sometimes a little too much

but all in good reason!!!!

the moment you offered him a sip of your iced coffee you bought from the convenience store, he automatically knew that he wanted to protect you from the wORLD

if only you didn’t look at each other as really really close friends, 10/10 the two of you would probably be a couple now lmao

he always asks this question in that tone that sounds intimidating because

if his voice is deep he makes it even deeper bc that would scare off some people

some people being the occasional group of frat guys that come 

here to get pierced and they’re all lining up for YOU and not for taehyung

they r small-minded

not to mention creeps

and they’re trying to smooth-talk their way to you and you aren’t having it

and sO IS TAEHYUNG

and jimin

and hobi

and even the stray cat jimin lets in the shop from time to time because lil chimmy looks like he’s gonna claw this dude’s nose right OUT

(( this is why jimin’s scolded for giving the customer the choice when the scenario’s unnecessary))

lol taehyung took over for you and he stared down all these frat guys and got them done quickly and u know what he may or may not made it hurt aNYWAYS

jungkook isn’t that type though

you tHINK

you’d hate for him to receive taehyung’s sternness and so you’re quick to wave off tae with a smile

kook is kinda scared because uhhhh is this your boyfriend and uhhhh do you know how to patch me up because he looks like he’s about to wHOOP my ass :((

“no need, tae!!” his stance relaxes at that but he’s still wary, a knowing smile on your lips as you face jungkook who’s shying away from taehyung’s stare

“jungkook, this is taehyung — the one i was talking to you about!! my friend aND one of the two owners of this shop :D”

“heymannicetomeetyouimjungkook”

atleast tae shakes his hand back so that’s good in hindsight

he isn’t nervous about the piercing but he IS nervous with how jimin and taehyung are eyeing him because he’s deduced that they’re your friends and they think somEthing must be going on

pls he’s only met you now :((

but he wishes he’s met you sooner

you’re marking down on his ear and he catches a whiff of your perfume and it’s safe to say that he may be wHIPPED already

although tae caught him doing that and now jungkook’s just pretending to sniffle from a cold

even goes the extra mile to tell jin outloud that they should get vicks candies after this

he is not slick at A L L oh my god he does not have any game whatsoever and it makes taehyung laugh to himself for a moment because oh god

he’s seen frat boys get their rip-off calvin klein knickers in a twist but he hasn’t seen a customer like jungkook that has a cRUSH on you point-blank

oh ok :)))

jungkook sees a mischievous smile on taehyung’s face that’s directed for him and he does not like it at all

“something tells me that i don’t need to distract you with a chat like i did with your friend, hm?”

he hears you mumble under your breath when you lean in and he stifles a giggle at that because n-o he isn’t a scaredy cat like jin is

however

for this occasion he wishes that he has a weak heart because there’s absolutely NOTHING he wouldn’t give just to have that Jin Treatment

jungkook eagerly nods his head when you ask him if you’re ready and taehyung nearly doubles over in laughter because he didn’t know that this guy was tHIS desperate ok

ᵗʰʷᵒᵒᵖ

“good job kook!!!! :D”

hehehe

he’s been told that atleast a hundred times before but coming from you??

he could ascend to heaven because it just makes him blush so mUCH and every miniscule thing u do or say to him?? enough for him to set himself on fire

that’s right :D i did a good job :D say that again pls :D

there’s just one more piercing left to do and he barely flinches

merely blinks and before he knows it,,,,

he’s done

like actually done this time

:((

taehyung pats him on the back because he’s there to brief him and jin with the aftercare

why can’t yOu do it????

oh that’s right jimin YELLED for you all across the shop so he could beckon you over to the front desk

jungkook’s pouting the whole time

ok yes i’ll disinfect this twice a day :((

ok yes sir i will go here if i feel like there’s something wrong with my piercing or if it’s showing any signs of allergies or infection

wait did u say i could go here..,.,,.

anyways he’s very gutted to know that he has to leave because he did come here in the first place to support jin

and here he is with two fresh piercings and blushing cheeks,,

just plain-out wondering when he could see you again

or probably the 70% chance that he’ll never do

he’s just standing behind you as you converse with jimin and while jin’s by the counter to pay for himself and jungkook (which then turned out that taehyung gave him a 50% discount overall because it’s like yO man i appreciate you and u feel like my hyung thank you) and he must look like an utter fool

jungkook has never been this nervous before

he’s been told that he visually looks intimidating as fUck but it all breaks when he smiles or giggles and basically stops scowling

jin teases him every single time whenever he wears these big romper stompers as he calls them and he has to say every time that nO he is not an e-boy :(((

he’s tucking his hands in his pockets because oh god oh god jimin’s giving him a look and then that prompts you to look at what he’s looking and he’s not prepared yet oKAY

he has no lines and no direction and-

“y/NNNNN aha!!”

lol he’s cute

it seems like your nervous jitters were passed to him because you very quickly got over them by distracting yourself

you know mAYBE you just find jungkook attractive and you don’t have a crush on him

that thing exists

he’s saying your name like it’s the eighth wonder of the world and honestly he feels like it is

“can i have the number?”

he asks upright and fuck that sounded so straightforward and too quick because if it wasn’t stressed enough, he just met you today!! t o d a y he doesn’t know at all that his voice sounded much like a squeal

or the fact that jin’s practically gAWKING at what jungkook just did but at the same time he looks like he’s a proud dad!!

or that jimin’s just snickering at the back and shaking his head at jungkook while clicking his tongue because lmao he knEw that this guy had a thing for you

he just didn’t know that he’d advance to you this painfully and awkwardly

jimin’s had a lot of awkward interactions with customers but nOT to this point that he looks like he’s gonna pass out

taehyung’s cupping his hand over his mouth because oof that wasn’t as smooth and jungkook thinks it is

it’s like waterslides but there’s not enough water in it so for the first half it’s all smooth but then at the second half it’s just dried out

and your back’s just skidding and hurting and you have to manually push yourself down the slide and now EVERYONE in the pool’s now looking at you awkwardly and then u decided that you want to sink into a blackhole

aha tae wonders who got that experience :D certainly not him :D

“o-oh the number for the shop i mean!!! piercings and stuff like that!!! a cALLING CARD IS WHAT I MEANT”

okay now jungkook reeled too far in

jin’s massaging his temples because the second-hand embarrassment is too much and he wants to make it clear that he is not affiliated with jeon jungkook OR whatever his name is

it’s like casting your fishing line to the water and you just feel this slight bite (but it’s probably just your wrist snapping) and all of a sudden you feel like it’s the biggest catch eVER in history

you’re wondering on the down-low of uhhhhhh lol why is it so light and it’s like i kNOW i’m powerful but why is it too easy for me

then turns out that it’s just a random piece of seaweed

lol definitely NOT jin :D of course not :D

you’re a bit bummed because honestly you really thought that jungkook would ask for your number

although you could just give it to him but you’re not tHAT daring on the first meeting

“calling card yeah sure :)))”

you outstretch your hand because the stack of calling cards are literally just on jimin’s desk and jungkook also failed to account for that

you hand it to him and jungkook’s just blinking rapidly because oH,,,, landline,,,, o-oh you really did just give him what he ASKED for

here’s the catch

jungkook’s a big dummy

HE MISSES YOU OKAY

it’s been a solid week ever since he and jin got piercings done

jin’s beyond happy with his piercing and he looks at himself in every reflective surface every single time because he’s just in LOVE with the new addition

he’s already dreaming of his next one and what earring he’d put in once this one’s all healed

doesn’t help that jin keeps mentioning you every single time either

or the fact that he is stiLL playing with the slime you’ve given him and kook’s conflicted whether he wants to steal it or throw it out of the window his piercings are all good :( he can peacefully sleep on his side now :(

normally that would be a good thing but now jungkook’s wondering if it’s wrong to hope that atleast there may be sOMETHING WRONG with it :(((

just so he could drop by the shop

speaking of the shop

he found the instagram account :D

not necessarily found because well the handle was in the calling card

ANYWAY

there’s a big following for it!!

he assumes that these tattoos are done by the hope guy and they look pretty awesome

there’s the piercings too!!!

that’s jin’s ear!! tHAT’S JUNGKOOK’S EAR!! :D

why is he so happy

he has no idea on which one of you runs this account and he’s a lil shit.,... that’s why he won’t slide into the shOp’s dms in hopes that you’re the one running it

what if he sends a cute message of “hey i miss u” and it turns out that it’s jIMIN who’s in charge of the acc

that’s a big L for kook

if jimin were to picture that situation, he would block and clown jungkook for life

he’s scrolled far enough to see a picture that isn’t of ink and reddened ears

it’s a picture of the staff!!!

you’re standing brightly in the middle with your arms around taehyung and *grunt* jimin while you’re the embodiment of :D

and jungkook’s smiling to himself in the dark because uh it might be late in the morning when he’s doing this

now there’s TWO other guys and he knows that one of them mUst be hoseok but he’s not exactly sure which one of these dudes because he doesn’t know what hobi looks like

he’s now on a roll because the other handles are tagged :D and well :D

jungkook isn’t a creepy guy ok

he’s just genuinely curious about you and he misses yOU who he’s only met for like less than an hour who was really gentle with him even if u poked a needle to his ear otherwise

now you’re not really thAt uptight with your feed because in your humble opinion

ahem

pictures with the same aggressively saturated/unsaturated filters going on and on are kinda very annoying for you because now every picture looks like the other and what’s the pOINT

there’s multiple pictures of the guys there!!!

taehyung looking sophisticated and intimidating and sOft at the same time that jungkook feels smol

ok ok maybe he should level his wardrobe game up a little bit

jimin looking very smiley and poised and kook huffs because he’s not the oNLY one who could pull off a cardigan smh ://

that’s IT he’s going to jin the first thing in the (normal waking hours of) morning and requesting (kINDA DEMANDING) that jin makes him a cardigan please

oh so that’s hoseok

he looks intimidating-ish and in the pictures he looks stOic but there is this one picture tho that he’s smiling and that makes jungkook smile too finally there’s you!!!

most pictures of you are taken either by a really nice camera OR a grainy film camera one

taehyung takes your pictures with his expensive-ass dslr aND his film cam and there’s just something about it that mwah 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒻’𝓈 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈

you don’t look ugly in them and u don’t hate the way you look in them and it’s just!!! wow!!! taehyung baby please develop these right nOW

jungkook’s sighed wistfully atleast twenty times now

damn he just wants to see you again is that tOO much to ask for he doesn’t know what time at all he goes to sleep but he knows for sure that he’s awake now

like awake AWAKE normally, jin just lets jungkook laze around and sleep away because he

too can attest to the fact that the both of them need sleep so much he only wakes him up when jungkook tells him the night before to wake him up at this certain time at aLL costs

..,... oh you mean *all* costs .,..,.

so far jin really enjoys all the things he’s came up with

he’s tried spraying jungkook with the same bottle that he uses for the plants repetitively until he wakes up

oooooh he’s also tried piling on froot loops on jungkook’s nose (his record’s twelve!!!) until the smell made jungkook sniff and thEn sneeze

you know that scene in how i met your mother when robin was drunk asleep then a baby wakes hEr up by crying then she just wakes up,,, dazed n confused,,, and goes to comforting the baby and turns out that it’s a sTRANGER’S baby??? yeah that one

jin made this alpaca plushie and it looks like him with the gentle smile and he named it RJ because what a cutie :((( you shall now be named RJ

and sO what he did was play a random crying baby loop on his phone and bURST into jungkook’s room

“jungkook the baby the baby’s cRYING”

and jungkook’s all groggy but then he yawns and stands up

“aisH ‘mkay heYYY bud calm down, hmm?? i’m-“

wait hOLD UP

jin still has that video on his phone to this day,, of jungkook cradling and even patting the back of a plushie with the hush noises,,,, until he eventually realizes that he is not the father

and most certainly that this is nOT a baby

but the thing is

jungkook didn’t ask jin to wake him up

his projects this week have all been completed last night

what is perhaps something so important this morning that jin is literally sHAKING him awake to the point that jungkook’s ducking underneath his hands because he thought it was an earthquake????

“you know? you know how we talk about us collaborating aLL the time?? the endless opportunities???? how you knOw i’ve been literally figuring this out in the majority of my spare time and-...”

jin’s talking so fast and that wakes up jungkook because whew slow down he is at the capacity of turbo the garden snail pre-nitrous oxide

“yeah sure online shops are cool!! we bOTH have our own!!! we work two jobs!! but we both know that we like it better oUR way right???”

no printer just fax

maybe it’s the stubbornness in jungkook but he just doesn’t like it when someone’s breathing down on his neck and making demands profusely even if that is what a job entails lol

jungkook’s just nodding because he feels that whatever jin has to say is important with how quick he’s talking and how big his eyes are

“what if i told you — jungkook are you rEADY to hear this-“

“yeah yeah whAt is it??”

“i mean it are you pREPARED to hear-“

“what wHAT??? now you’re just making me antsy!!”

jin’s trying to calm himself by pursing his lips and even his finger that’s raised is trembling

“what if i told you that i earned us an excellent aND affordable spot at a famous shop,,, the perfect placement and i know the owners and we could go there, right now, to finish settling and start setting?”

...

....

.....

“jin are you fucking sHITTING ME???”

oh my god

jungkook’s springing out of bed and is just jumping up and down with jin out of sheer joy because oMG

they’ve both wanted this for so long and kook feels like he is actually about to cry

“you wanna know something???”

“of cOURSE i wanna know something!!”

“hope ink?? vante studios?? remember when we got our ears pierced by y/n?? do you remember that platform thingy???”

yes yes i remember get to ur point jin

“i was so curious with it that i texted taehyung at 11 in the evening last night and i didn’t kNOW that he would reply,,, turns out that it was a space for rent and obviously i was like wHAT DID YOU JUST SAY???”

oh my god oh my god is this what jungkook thinks it is

“and then this morning, he gave me hoseok’s number and he said that we could head to the shop and discuss terms!!! he sounded sO excited too!!”

wait

does this mean

does this mean that he gets to see you again???

:O

“you’re telling me that i get to see y/N??”

you don’t know what the commotion is about

you’re a lil bit disoriented coming into the shop because you and jimin

went out for shots the night prior

you regret challenging him to a dare

now said jimin is here surprisingly early,, absolutely hammered because oh god he regrets taking you up for your dare

he thinks he’s being sly with his sunglasses on but he is positively wrong <3

you had to do a double-take because this was just weird

the shop should be open by now but the sign says that it’s closed

and something in the air feels weird and somehow..,. baby powder fresh??

hobi and tae are sitting on the waiting area discussing some things and they keep giggling every few seconds

“jimin what’s going on??”

you’re nudging him to move from his seat but he refused to yield so now ½ of your buttcheeks is sitting on his chair

“bro i don’t know aNYTHING”

thing is, yOU’RE the one who takes care of him when he’s drunk and forces him to drink water so he wouldn’t be as wrecked the next day

“shouldn’t receptionists know the gossip??”

“shouldn’t yOU be talking a little quieter??”

lol ok go off mr. jimin the receptionist

he’s already apologized for his quips and you know by now that whenever he’s grumpy and this rekt, he’s a bit more catty and has sensitive ears so now the two of you are just talking in whispers and jimin has his head rested on your shoulder :((

“i think someone’s finally renting the stage”

“really??”

you and jimin just call it “the stage” because the platform at the shop just looks so ominous and empty,, even if jimin doodles something on a sticky note and puts it at the center of the stage

hobi was the one who wanted it to be there!!!

right when he and tae decided to merge, he wanted a bigger space to accommodate this stage for future tenants

it’s a good business opportunity and easily profitable!!!

although no one’s rented it

maybe now’s the time!!!

jimin loves making assumptions lmao

his mind,,,, wow jimin’s mind just perplexes you

“i think it would be a waffle stand!!”

“jimin… why would someone put in a waffle stall… in a tattoo shop..,.,.”

“honestly why nOt?? some clients get tattooed for what, like five hours?? let’s say they’re hungry. do you tHink they’d bring a lunchbox with them??”

“you’re right.,..,. you’re absolutely right.”

before you and jimin could condense the options furthermore though, tae and hobi are already walking towards the two of you that are still whispering

they’re gonna announce something!!!!

tae’s trying to keep it together as hobi’s trailing it out with his speech and he’s taking tOO long

“someone’s gonna be renting out the stage!!!!”

he basically squeals and you and jimin nod to each other aha

he was aiming for perhaps a bIGGER reaction

“oh lmao we already guessed it ten minutes ago”

“but do you knOw what’s gonna be there??”

jimin immediately raises his hand begging for hobi to call him on to answer as he’s violently flailing around

“you know??? what is it then???”

“waffle stand :D”

the outright cackle hobi lets out is enough to send you meanwhile jimin’s pouting,, still confused before you urge him to take a seat

the two of them won’t tell you at all and then agreed to just keep it as a surprise until the tenants come

jimin’s literally at the edge of his seat as he lets you take ¾ of the chair because nOw he’s excited

the door chimes and you stand up at lightning pace that you forget jimin’s sTILL sitting there lmao

well he’s sitting.,.. just on the floor

you’re hurrying to pick him up and the moment you drag him up with you, you feel like yOU’RE the one who’s gonna fall sheesh

your knees are bUckling

“jungkook!!!!!”

jungkook’s happily waving at you and he forgets that the two of you aren’t close because he’s about to make his way to hug you

it looks like you’re the only who’s in shock

it’s starting to sink on why jungkook and jin are here and you immediately freak the moment it clicks in your head

“oh my god did something happen with your piercings?? let me-“

you’re in panic mode and you’re walking so fast towards jin and kook stops you before your heart could even explode

“no nO!! don’t worry!! didn’t they tell you?”

“tell me what??”

taehyung and hobi are grinning so hard and it’s only a matter of seconds before tae has his arm around your shoulder as he gestures to them

“they’re the tenants!!”

oh

OH

DOES THIS MEAN-

:O

“hihi nice to see you again, y/n!! look at my piercing it’s healing sO quickly!!”

jin is the first to put you in an embrace and you squeal when he does because omg he is a furnace

you’re pointing at his ear excitedly and he even babbles on how he wants more now and you instantly add on to that conversation

jungkook’s a bit uHhh because he wanted to greet and hug you fIRST!! 

although he does get his turn because jin turns his attention to hobi who he’s excited to meet

jungkook can’t help but to hug you a little bit tighter and mayhaps even sniff the scent of your perfume again !!!! omg he missed you so much everything’s going great

jin plus jungkook and taehyung plus hobi were able to agree on a deal within the day!! it was so easy and both parties are such delights

they’d get a partition done in the meantime so while you all get to work, jin and kook could have things done with it being a surprise factor for the patrons!!!!

their ideas already sound so good

you learned that jin studied fashion design and jungkook with the graphic design and how you’d even hear stories from them on how they saved each other’s asses so many times

their layout for their stall??? immaculate

jungkook’s fingers are itching to layout the floor plans and all these graphics because fuck he is ecstatic and he cAN’T hide it

you find his smile to be absolutely aDORABLE

that smile with his nose scrunched up and he looks like a bunny and how he laughs loudly and it’s actually contagious

you finally got to exchange numbers :D

kook was the one who texted first and it was out of the blue because he’s wasted all this time just thinkinG on how he’d approach you first

then he was designing prints to go on to the stall until his body dropped and with the energy he had left he went :]

what do you think :) about :) my designs :)

and then you REPLIED and he didn’t think that far ahead

you commended him for it and you realize that your way of designing is different from his but in the same time somehow alike???? yes synergy

“what more do you have left to do?? lol u should really go to sleep koo :D”

“just some more cards i guess?? like the ones with the ~opening sale!!!~ and things like that”

inch resting

you may be so whipped for jungkook that you may or may not have did those layouts yourself

hehe

:D

kook comes to the shop early on the morning so they could be hands-on with the set-up all that but he instantly gets energized the moment you come near him

he should’ve fixed himself up a little bit longer

it’s all clear that he looks fATIGUED and jimin keeps teasing him that he looks like triangle gimbap :(( and he wasn’t annoyed then but he is nOW because oh u might think of him like that too

you put a whole-ass hard drive on his palm and you could’ve just gave him a flAshdrive or sent him the files like a normal person would but he’s special ok

and the gears in his head are turning because oh my god what is iN this wHY are you giving me this and-

“opening sale,,, discounts,,,,, layouts you had left.,….,. y’know :))”

brO

bRO

jungkook’s so happy and he’s still in disbelief because you did that?? you really did THAT for him and you haven’t known him for like a week but you still did it??

this is such a big deal and he doesn’t know how he could express that he’s thankful for what you did besides

ᵐᵐᵖʰ

hugging you :((

oh god you’re really falling for jungkook qUICK

you don’t wanna say that you’re the type to get attached quickly but you aRE the type to get attached quickly :((

although you’ve only been in one (1) relationship before and it went for pretty long but you won’t get into that lol

taehyung knows this so well and mAYBE that he knows that for a brief time when you first met him, you did have a tiny crush on him but that dispersed quickly

it’s just this feeling in you that jumps up every now and then

that’s it tHAT’S the person

but then it isn’t that person

tae knows you enough and well,, he tries to interfere with your decisions from time to time because you get crushes and well sometimes they’re not crush material at all lmao

he knOws you have the hots for jungkook

but he’s not sure whether or not jungkook feels the same

://

he needs to keep his mind open ok

he doesn’t know jungkook that well but he does know that there are a LOT of guys like jungkook

that sounds pretty hypocritical of him but taehyung’s just that way hehe he just doesn’t speak his thoughts loudly

but he is THINKING

and he’s shutting up and he won’t go off on you yET of how maybe you should feel this one out with jungkook and try to analyze if it’s uhm a two-way thing y’know….

that you’re not the only one who’s getting attached….

it’s officially the opening for the shop and jin and jungkook couldn’t be happier

everyone’s having so much fun!!!!

they didn’t expect these many people and ph god the tears are definitely coming whew

it feels like everyone and everyone’s mother is at the shop and they’re all genuinely having a good time :D

there’s tONS of flowers and you all surprised the both of them with an additional blowout and wow it’s really endearing to try and digest

the people that came in for their tatts and piercings to be done?? they aLL went to the stall!!! their appointment isn’t due yet and they’re a bit early??omg why not go to that pretty shop WITHIN this shop???

they’re all done with their appointment and wanna buy a bomber jacket?? some stickers?? some prints within this frame?? that’s it they will go rIGHT now

vice versa too!!!

the people that initially came for jin and koo’s shop?? they were intrigued and went “lol why not let’s get a piErcing while we’re at it!!!”

business is booming

u gotta say that

satisfaction levels are off the roof

jimin is absolutely having THE time of his life because he gets to chat and he LOVES chatting!!! so much!!! omg who are u!! lemme talk to you about this pretty kitty i saw on my doorstep this morning :D

this whole time, jungkook is beaming and glowing and it makes your heart go whOosh

everytime he bumps into you or sees you in his peripheral vision? would absolutely waddle towards you and sling his arm around your waist and point to all the people in there as he giggles excitedly

whatever’s going on

whatever tHIS was

you’re loving it :(( you want more and it’s driving you crazy that you’re too chicken to make any moves towards jungkook and hE ALSO WON’T

you don’t wanna approach any of the guys either because adding them into this equation won’t make it any less confusing

hobi would just furrow his eyebrows at you because it’s ???? not that hard ???? just confront him and ask if he wants to take it to the next level with you ???? or like idk cONFESS ????

jimin would absolutely tattle and before you know it, you’re already in a reddit or quora thread because he too needs advice, before he himseLF gives advice

taehyung??

well you’re not exactly sure on how tae would react but u know that you’re scared to open up either way because you just aren’t prepared!!

“whatcha doing?? :D”

jungkook’s been awfully too enthralled and his eyes are literally less than an inch away from whatever it is that he’s holding

he’s slouching too and you distinctly remember seokjin getting these chairs with these backrests on them, specifically not for him to do so

he hasn’t been speaking for awhile now and nORMALLY you’d hear his voice every now and then even if you were back to your station or even in the break room

he’s just so fOcused and although that’s not necessarily a bad thing, he needs a break every now and then ok

here you are with a glass of iced tea you just made :)) only supposed to fix up a glass but then taehyung had glared and pouted you from across the room :)) so now you have made a pitcher and everyone’s happy :))

kook kinda jolts at that and it’s what reminds him to blink and tear his eyes away from what he’s holding, looking up at you and a fat tEAR drops from his eye

oh god did you make him Cry

lol no

jungkook’s just wiping it off because he hasn’t blinked in awhile and his eyes are beyond strained at this point

“i brought you-…”

did jungkook just-

oh

did he-

you were supposed to put the iced tea down on his table and you even brought a cOASTER for it

but then jungkook probably doesn’t think of that because he’s wordlessly put his hand on your tummy and sat you down

he’s sat you down.,..,. on him.,…

in technical terms

jungkook’s sitting with his legs slightly spread apart and you’re sat rIGHT at that remaining space

and mind you

this chair is not the biggest chair in history

nor is jungkook’s thighs small.,., hence him taking up the entirety of the chair and leaving a tiny space on it for you to sit

aND YOU KNOW THAT

and out of instinct did you think that you’re gonna fall off, you hoist yourself up and he even helps you out for it, going so far as to wrap his arm around your tummy once again and bring him up on his lap more securely

you’re now sITTING ON JUNGKOOK

although you’re not sure if he realizes this bit that much because he still seems genuinely preoccupied with what he’s doing

his chin’s propped up on your shoulder and his arms around yOU all while it looks like he’s stringing a thread through these beads before he decides to speak

“this mom came in today asking if we could make party favors for her kid’s birthday party,” he absentmindedly hums and for any other scenario would

you ask him to continue on

but now you’re in a PRESSING scenario

literally

your cheeks feel so hot right now and it’s worse than when you try those hiit workouts that straight out come from hell

“so fORTY kids, right? this seven-year old has so much friends?? anyway!! she wanted to have bracelets spelling the kids’ names bUt with these acrylic pendants — sounds good but a lil complicated, right?”

“rIGHT you’re right!!!! :)”

jungkook suddenly stomps his foot down as he huffs because this goddamn string just won’t get in this damn bean and u feel your sOul quiver

“aha let me get that for you!!!”

you’re flustered if it wasn’t that any mORE obvious but apparently, jungkook takes no notice at all because he just scrunches his nose in thanks when you take it from him

“but then, she said that she wanted one more thing to give away!! wanna guess?” he nuzzles further to your shoulder and by your neck and you swear that you’re absolutely dYING

you cock your head to the side the moment jungkook gets back the unfinished bracelet from you and he even nUDGES HIS NOSE TO YOUR

NECK

mhmmm

good food…. good fucking food…..

“matching little cream bERETS that have their name embroidered on them.”

jungkook snorts because hmmm isn’t that a bit too much?? is this kid 7 or 70

“and so yeah, okay, jin-hyung entertained the order and the beret part. and then we gave her a quote. and then she said that she needs it tWO days from now!!! T W O !!!”

the way he emphasizes is adorable but gOd the way he’s practically teasing you right now and pretending to not know about it at all is just sINFUL

“it was a rush order, and she said that she’d pay triple even bEFORE jin could say that she’d have to pay extra!!!” he wraps up on this particular bracelet then before tying it off, having to lean more so he could see better and in turn making you aDJUST

makes you screw your eyes shut because you’re positive that kook would be the death of you

“do you know how mANY variations the name kayleigh could have?? because i certainly dO”

jungkook snorts once more before he could even adjust the way he’s sitting but this time though it’s you who’s caught him off-guard

“this chair hmm???”

now listen

he’s had this scene play out in his head and yes he may or may not have planned for it

of cOurse he would take any chance that he gets to sit you down on his lap

HOWEVER

this one was purely innocent!!!

jungkook was so endeared with you preparing him iced tea and he was just so stressed with these bracelets and he wanted to show you them!!!! that’s all!!!!

but then the equation played out in his head that oh.,.., there is Not Enough Space for two people in this chair that is clearly built for one person only

and tHEN the realization came to him that oh you are INDEED sitting down on his lap and the way you’ve reversed this card is commendable

he swears you were flustered just awhile ago but nOw??? you’re full-out hinting him on this directly and not beating around the bush and oH god that just made him-

“y-yeah this chair, hmm?? what about it??”

jungkook’s the one that’s stuttering now and he unconsciously wraps his hands around your waist tightly as he chews on his bottom lip

your throat’s a bit dry but there’s just this sudden desire that’s popping into you and it automatically cuts our whatever awkward filter you have on

he feels you obviously grind on him in a clockwise motion and you’re playing it oFF so smoothly that he almost forgets that the two of you aREN’T exactly alone

“why don’t you show-

“are those bracelets??? omg”

hobi’s voice resonates from the distance and it automatically goes higher because he’s walking towards the booth in an eager pace

okay fUCK

you automatically yelp and jungkook squeals and before you know it, he’s standing up sO quick before he practically sits you down on his chair forcefully

jungkook’s legs are literally in a tWist as he’s standing behind the backrest and you have to grasp your cheeks to try n cool them down

“yeah!! aha it’s for this client omg but i have so many more to go through and it’s just really busy and all and so i-“

“lemme help!!! today’s a slow day for me anyways!! :D”

hobi’s walking in and he’s aiming for jin’s unoccupied chair that is literally just beside yours and kook is sCRAMBLING away oh god oh god someone’s gonna see this tENT in his fucking pants

“aha omg need to pee!!! y/n’s iced tea makes me wanna pee so badly aha she’s — IT’S so good omg just need to go the bathroom!! aha brb!!!!”

hobi is a little bit perplexed? but uh he doesn’t wanna delve into it that much

you’re shoving your face into your hands because that’s… the glass of iced tea…… it’s not even sipped from yet…..

it’s okay it’s cool

delayed gratification!!! yeah, that!!!! that applies to here, right????

right???

pls say right

it’s always been this flirty and touchy and affectionate atmosphere between the two of you

you were testing out on jumping in puddles basically :((

of course you don’t want jungkook to be this “friend” that you have frequent loving banter and sexual tension with aND is the type to sit you down on his lap and then completely ignore you as you stew in tension

.... of course not

do you know what to feel? not really

truthfully you aREN’T that strong-willed and you only become proactive when the case is absolutely necessary

you have a backbone in you it’s just not THAT strong

which is why you don’t know how you should treat jungkook’s sudden shift in emotions and the way he’s practically avoiding you

you don’t wanna push into him and force yourself over anything he isn’t ready with!! of course not

you don’t know whether you should be enraged because it’s hIM who’s sending mixed signals and right when you think you’re making progress, it’s always two steps back

you don’t know whether you shouldn’t think about it that much because maybe just mAybe it isn’t your loss!!!! jungkook just has a lot on his plate and you shouldn’t be bothered!!!

you DO know that you’re kinda sad 

because you’re just so clueless and no matter how tiny of a nudge (you wrote on a paper towel and slid it to him) or big of it (you wrote on a piece of tracing paper with jimin’s glitter pen) that you give him, he wouldn’t be open to you

atleast let you in just the tiniest bit

atleast tell you if you’ve done something wrong or if he needs anything from you

:(

is jungkook losing his shit?? 100% percent

here’s the dish

jungkook is a bIT of an asshole

to further explain, he’s just so mighty afraid of commitment while knowingly doing y’know.... things that you’d DO in a committed relationship

maybe afraid is not the word

it’s a mix of fear and uhhhh perhaps disinterest

:D jungkook is totally an asshole isn’t he :D

he’s had mORE than a fair share of experience lol that’s for sure

but perhaps his first real experience of an actual relationship was with ji-eun from uni

aha well it did initially start with one-night stands :)) and then eventually it became friends with benefits :))

then ji-eun addressed him as boyfriend one night to her friends and jungkook remembers stiffin up that night because uhhhhh??? oh do i have a girlfriend now

he didn’t ask and he didn’t complain

now ji-eun eXPECTED for him to roast her for it but??? he played along???

he’s noticed that ji-eun’s become more affectionate with him and tOuchy but it’s not for escalating things

she’s constantly texting him and inviting him out to eat and normally,,, after sex,,, the most jungkook could ever get was a gRANOLA BAR that she lets him steal when he’s sneaking out but uH you wanna eat lasagna??

he was just sO out of it because is this what being a boyfriend entails??? aha safe to say that he does NOT want a relationship ://

he tried out this boyfriend thing for a 7-day free trial and he immediately left and broke things up with ji-eun (she hates him now but she’s still pining over him)

(( whenever jungkook adds something to his stories, ji-eun goes hAM on those heart emojis ))

he’s just not into commitment

he wants the time and the freedom that most people get less of when they’re in a relationship

jungkook doesn’t get why these girls still get mad at him when he’s made it clear in the first place that he’s oNLY in it for the s-

yeah ok maybe he’s an eternal douche of a frat boy ://

he doesn’t want you to take it the wrong way though

bECAUSE HE LIKES YOU

HE’S SURE

OK MAYBE NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE

but he is sure of it to a degree :D

he just finds it as another ji-eun situation but this time he has more interest!!!

he’s actually thought that maybe being a boyfriend isn’t all that bad

however jungkook’s mind immediately started drifting to how maybe you aren’t a fan of him staying up in the early hours of morning, doing something he could’ve done mUCH earlier and then you’ll hate him or something

he doesn’t wanna go to brunch or wear matching clothes :////

he once came into the shop wearing a black button-up with a black shirt underneath and THEN jimin came in later but with just a black button-up with that he completely REFUTES the idea of relationships because lit rally everyone in the shop kept teasing him to jimin and he doesn’t even liKE jimin

“oh uHhH you wanna take it... slow?”

you’re blinking slowly at jungkook who’s standing in front of you and is looking a little... nonchalant??

nonchalant but in the same time he looks nervous

nervous sweats but he’s playing it off by running his hand through his hair and making these tired eyes at you

quick is he pulling this off oR does he look like an absolute ass

“yeah!! it’s just like uh y’know... casual. a casual, laid-back type of thing!!!”

you don’t know how you’re gonna process that

but you do wanna respect jungkook’s wishes no matter how much you feel it’s a bit tIMELY and insensitive

“o-oh!! casual.,,. slow!!! of course aha no problem :D”

you can’t help but connect the dots aha

he’s decided to tell you THIS right when you were being called by jimin to do a piercing and you have no time to spare

the week before, you remember getting him a drink even if he hasn’t asked for it

or five days before when jungkook materialized out of nowhere and put his hand around your waist before nuzzling his nose to your hair

*immediately spots you and squeezes you when he comes up to you from behind*

“i want a conch piercing!!!! not now tho but i want yOU to do it to me :D” 

*immediately dying*

“of course ggukie i’d literally want nOTHING more aha :D”

*immediately regretting making it sound that you are a goddamn sIMP*

or like two days before, you were all eating lunch and you were so full and a little bit sleepy that you rest your head on his shoulder

or maybe just yESTERDAY, jungkook’s sat you down on his lap and hobi interrupted whatever that was happening

and perhaps after that encounter

uh

you may have kissed him on the nose before going to your station

:((((

it’s okay

it’s tOtally ok lol

it’s not like you’ve been distracted the whole day or perhaps the days after that because you’re kept up with the thoughts that maybe jungkook isn’t into you as mUCH as you’re into him even though his actions say otherwise

nope :D

taehyung’s worrying at this point

lmao he knows that you don’t know that he kNOWS what’s going on

sure,, you and jungkook are sly but tae’s observant to the point that he’s memorized all these little quirks about you

he’s been your friend for the longest time!!! of cOurse he knows when something’s bothering you

he’s deduced that maybe jungkook broke your heart or something along those lines,, although he doesn’t assume that it was an actual relationship just yet because if it were, then you would totally tell him about it

... right??

there’s this distance thing going on in between the two of you and he’s tested it out a couple times to test his theory

first, the two of you aren’t iGNORING each other but all your interactions are either short-lived or dare he says,,,, casual n basic

he’s commanded jungkook a couple of times things like “the extra roll of receipt paper is in y/n’s station go get it” or-

“get me a pair of gloves from y/n’s cart”

“tae you already hAVE gloves in your cart”

“ok wHO is the owner and who is the tenant here?? or maybe you and y/n just fought and you’re sO SCARED OF-“

“jesus christ oKAY!!! i’ll get the gloves!!!!”

you look so dejected

taehyung pokes your cheeks and you just LET him

he bought you mac n cheese and spelled out “cheer up :-)” using the shells and you merely smiled at it before proceeding to bOW your head to the table and look distraught

he’s offered his ear as tribute because you haven’t done a rook piercing in awhile and you miss it but you just shake your head nO at him and :(((

and the thing is

you’re so tIRED about being hung-up with jungkook

usually you just shut down and you get back to your feet a week later and you’re all happy!!!

but no jungkook just had to be a pesky little shit in your head and decided to LIVE THERE RENT-FREE

“hiii welcome to hope ink sLASH vante studios!! walk-in, appointment, or are you just here to see me?”

jimin looks up from his phone because he was cLEARLY not trying to help organize some of the audits that hobi told him to lol

hmmmm now this customer does look interesting

he looks cOOL if jimin’s being very honest

he also wants his hair color fo sure and maybe if he just snapped a picture of it right now, this customer tOtally wouldn’t notice at all!! :D

he’s a very tall lad and is in this denim jacket and his HAIR

his hair’s a combination of dirty silver and ash grey and it’s all slicked back!!!

“oh uhhh i’m here for a piercing!! i don’t have an appointment.”

jimin nods at that and turns to him a logbook with the needed contact information and the sheet

kim namjoon

hmmmm

a walk-in customer?? a handsome one at that?? the fate of whose piercing artist would dO his piercing lying on his hands???

hee-hee

now normally jimin with his stereotypical secretary traits, he either knOws or assumes everyone’s business

he doesn’t know what happened to you and jungkook but he for sure knows that you need a pick-me up!!!

you need an appointment

a dick appointment mayhaps lol

usually jimin’s always scolded to how he’s letting the customers pick when unnecessary, and this is the PERFECT timing to correct that tendency

the P in park jimin also stands for Petty

“smoking hot dude for a piercing session with y/n please!!! :D”

he of course had to yell that outloud into jin and jungkook’s stall,,, one in which everyone’s there and you and jungkook are sitting at the opposite ends of the room

hobi shakes his head at that and jin instinctively oOOOOOOHs his way to but jungkook nudges his ribcage pretty fucking hArd and it wasn’t discrete at all

taehyung purses his lips because hmmmm.,.,.. jimin actually doing his job correctly.,..,.. that’s sus

“hot as in as hot as you?? oR hot as in he has the same hair color as what taehyung had back in uni and-”

“ʸᵒᵘ ᵖʳᵒᵐᶦˢᵉᵈ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵃˡᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵇᵘʳⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᵐʸ ˢᶜᵃˡᵖ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵇˡᵉᵃᶜʰ :⁽⁽”

tae pouts and grumbles at that because if he focuses hard enough, he could feel his scalp on fIRE

now you and jimin have always been jokingly flirty with each other

and neither of you take offense and shit bUT a certain jeon jungkook certainly does because he used to not care about both of your antics ok

he didn’t mind because well uH who in between the two of us actually gets to be that intimate with y/n???? me buddy mE

it’s not a competition tho and jimin finds kook to be weird because it looked like that everytime he has his hand around your shoulders or something

jungkook looks like he would bARK at him for doing so and ???? he’s weird

he’s brooding right now if it wasn’t obvious

because for the most part, this distance and casual thing was working for his side

but now that jimin’s escorting you back and you’re play flirting with him again,, he just can’t feel this certain twinge in his gut

he’s not jealous

he’s sure that this is everything but jealousy

he doesn’t get jealous ok

jealousy is just reserved for people who have feelings for someone and are in committed relationships :)

goddamn

jimin was right

you are nOT in cowboy boots nor are you in the matching chelsea boots jimin got you for your birthday but you are definitely shAking alright

“h-hi i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today :)) what’s, uh, what’s your name? :))”

the man in front of you raises his eyebrow but chuckles later on bc for second there he thought you were rEALLY straightforward and he’s used to be the one catching people off-guard

“namjoon. kim namjoon.”

he puts out his hand for you to shake and almost nO customer at all does that and so you’re internally squealing because omg :) wow :) namjoon you polite thing :)

you’re clearing your throat to break off because you swear namjoon looked like he was about to devour you whole with only his gAZE!!!!!

perhaps you were too enthralled into the stare that you don’t notice to how the guys are looking at the interaction while hiding behind this wall

someone’s getting TOO huffy to the point jin had to ask if this certain someone needed some allergy medicine

“what are you getting done today??”

“oh, about that! dealer’s choice, if you may. i trust you.”

did he just-

jungkook instantly scowls thay because excuse yOU denim jacket guy

tHAT’S HIS LINE

dealer’s choice!! that’s his line!!! that’s what he said to you and god does he need to trademark that line??? that’s what he pulled and that’s what anyone getting pierced by you that looks like they have a shot with you, sHOULDN’T pull

:((

you hum at that and you’re trying to keep your smile to yourself it’s all cool

“how do you sleep, by the way?”

jungkook’s eyes are widening twofold because WHAT is he hearing correctly???

he’s looking up at taehyung because he’s the other piercing artist here and he’s looking at jungkook weirdly because he looks so panicked

“that’s a legitimate question, jungkook.”

IT IS

because you’re figuring out if the plan in your head isn’t a good combination with how he sleeps and namjoon laughed at that

“by myself or with you?”

you choke on air at that and namjoon laughs once again as he mumbles that he was kidding before giving you an actual answer

you can’t look at him in the eye because you are still flustered that tHIS fine specimen is flirting with you

y o u

i mean there is no harm in this right.,.,.

jungkook said he didn’t want anything between the two of you anyway :D

“i’ll do your right ear for today. two upper helix and a tragus, how does that sound?” you wait for an answer before putting on your gloves and namjoon nods when you point them out, a sly smile on your face before marking

“you could come in anytime to have me do your left when you’re ready for it — i got you anyways; it’s on the house.”

this time it was hIS turn to be flustered but he keeps his cool, clenching his jaw when you mark him out

“do you need anything before we start? slime?? stress ball?? oOh this keychain i made???”

you proudly hold up this stuffed heart shaped keychain, one that you put in your belt loop because it went very well with your get-up to go to waste

jungkook has his eyes narrowed because he knows you’re innately irresistible but wHY the hell are you pulling out all the stops to emphasize that

taehyung meanwhile has a scowl on and if it was possible to sizzle then he’d be burnt barbecue by now

“no WE made that :///“

you’re cute,,,, namjoon really thinks so

“does your number belong to those options? it really shouldn’t.,.,. it should be a priority”

:)

aHEM

OKAY NO

jungkook has his eyebrows furrowed and at this rate he’d be getting wrinkles on his forehead

next best thing for him? taking his phone out his pocket and tHROWING it to the ground

it snapped everyone out of their trances

he pretended to be sheepish while getting it because aha :D omg how did my phone go there :D

his case is a heavy-duty one but that’s nOT in his worries rn

you proceed to pierce namjoon and it finished as soon as he came because lol piercings really don’t take that long at all

ended with him still paying tho as he insisted

even tipped you more eXPENSIVE than the rate of the piercings themselves and you even tried to give it back to him but namjoon,,, the man that he is,,, he is PERSISTENT

“best piercings i ever had,, besides :) i like the one who did it on me anyways :)”

“but namjoon you have nO piercings :)”

“exactly :)))”

now that tHAT’S done and you are now $$$ richer.,.,.

“jimin you fucker i kNOW what you did there”

the boy smiles brightly and giggles and you aren’t really mad at him because absolutely who in this world would have the heart to??

“i have no idea what you’re talking about”

that has got to be one of your most memorable interactions ever this week perhaps throughout your whole professional piercing career

and it tRULY made you smile and it’s one of the only things throughout this week that genuinely made you smile

yeth you may have scribbled your number very quickly on his palm before he left

you’re just about to pass out on the couch over to the break room because wHEW your heart is racing and you aren’t really exactly opposed to that

namjoon was such a dream and he was very polite too and he was fLIRTY but not the creepy kind

although the door to the break room suddenly swings open and you’re rattled

“jungkook.”

he obviously doesn’t look like he’s gonna greet you back because he looks stone-cold with his gaze set on you

you’re a little bit intimidated because what could he pOSSIBLY want after saying that he doesn’t want anything to do with you??

“you like him? hmmm??”

there it is

there’s this jealousy that’s raging off from him and currently he is fAR too in it to even acknowledge that he iS jealous

this makes you scoff for a moment before crossing your arms across your chest because really,,, is tHAT what it takes to give jungkook a wash of reality???

“m’better than him — whatever his name is.”

your throat is dry because jungkook’s taking these big strides towards you and god he’s just tOO intoxicating for you

even just hIS scent wants you to light yourself on fire because whew.,.,. if he was a drink then he’d be too hot and flammable

not that you’d drink him in or anything :D

“you don’t even kNOW him”

you’re just about to chew him off and before you could, your words get caught in your throat because jungkook dIPS down right at the exact moment

his lips hovering around your neck and testing little licks on it

you whimper because holy fUCK and jungkook takes that as invitation to bOldly kiss you right on your skin, trailing down towards your clavicle where the hem of your shirt meets

“don’t need to, baby.”

you’re sat on the middle of the couch with both his hands trapping you besides your head and he’s crouching down, just mERE mere centimeters from your lips

jungkook’s just staring you down and you audibly gasp because look at him!!! he’s so beautiful!!!!

wait you’re supposed to be mad at him :((

“mind if i have a taste?”

he whispers as soon as he breaks eye contact from you and you whine at that, feeling him suckling on your jaw as you clench

“why not?”

oh

okay

he knows what you’re playing at alright

just awhile ago you were a whimpering mess and noW that he was asking for permission to do something that’s more scandalous than him kissing your neck.,..

hmmmm

you’re being dismissive of him intentionally

just a last-minute plan that involved a shot at his ego and not to embarrass yourself further because after all aha :) not eVERYTHING is all forgiven

ok then :)

jungkook’s kneeled riGht in front of you and he has such a tight grip on your waist even if you know you won’t be going anywhere any time soon he’s licking to your folds with feather-like intensity

if you’re not gonna show any reaction, then atleast hE wouldn’t give everything to you

of course his underlying motive is to tease you and make you beg for it

but every now and then jungkook’s looking up at you and his nose is nudging you in the process but you sTILL won’t back down

did you just-

DID YOU JUST BRING OUT YOUR PHONE

you’re practically dying in the inside but you keep your reactions to yourself and your jaw clenched

in truth you’re just scrolling through your expenses through this month in your notes because it was the fIRST thing you could open in your phone ok

jungkook huffs so loudly because first of all wHERE did you get the audacity

fine then :D

he suddenly stops and that’s when you shoot him a sly look from behind your phone, feigning an irritated quirk of your brow

“you really won’t budge??”

before you could register his words tho you’re iMMEDIATELY moaning he’s eating you out toO good and it was just plain-out sinful with how he was able to make you come from that to this

“jungkoOK fuck-“

his thumb presses firm on your clit before quickly retracting it and that earns him another mewl and a tug on his hair

“that’s right… my name sounds better on your lips, yeah?”

your pure pleasure is consuming you wholly and before your eyes could shut again with how overwhelming the sensation is oH MY GOD is the door unlocked?????

there’s something to how your eyes widen towards that fact and to how jungkook quickly notices that hmmmm he dID leave the door unlocked something about it makes him even more passionate in devouring you and it makes you wanna tHROW yourself into oblivion because the fact that someone.,., someone could literally come in this room aNYtime given is enough to make you almost yell

“fuck fUCK jungkook i’m gonna-“

his lips are all red and puffy and even his cHIN is messy and it makes you moan because fuck it was impossible to how he still looks so dreamy!!!!

he makes no move to slow down as he squeezes at your exposed thighs, his dull fingernails scratching at you before he stares back up at you, nOt even lifting up his mouth from your core to speak

“not stopping you, baby.”

that alone throws you into bliss and you’re cumming sO hard that you feel like you’re gonna black out

jungkook’s lapping on your release as if he’s starved and still tastes you out through your orgasm

that… was an experience alright……

your eyes are fluttering because wow that drAined you

before you could even look for him, kook’s coming at you to clean you up :))

lol he found this face towel on the couch and he figures that it belongs to jimin but nOPE not anymore aha

he dampens it with the water available and he’s EXTRA careful with you because you r sensitive and fragile at the time being

he even wipes at your arms and your neck to cool you down!!!

jungkook’s biting down on his lap as he rests the towel meanwhile on your nape and there it is

that dreamY look on his eyes again that just makes your heart flutter :(( your nose nudges his and it makes him giggle the slightest before he leans down to kiss you

and it hits you that you haven’t even kissed jungkook in the lips eVER

although that doesn’t really happen.

just as you were about to pull him in, something must have snapped in jungkook because he suddenly retracts from you as if he’s got burned

he looks empty and lost, not even sparing you another look before he’s storming out of the break room

and you’re all alone 

again.

:(((

“you wanna tell me what happened with you know who?”

taehyung has HAD it okay

he’s trying to be as patient as he possibly could with you

he wishes that he could just read minds so tHAT way he won’t have to budge out the answer from you

because in his very humble opinion, this approach helps too!!!

you’re sad and distraught and he gets that!! he does!!

but maybe if you let him know what happened to you, then he could be sad WITH you

you were the one who taught him that :((

you were roommates in uni and he was so down in the dumps when he got this almost failing grade to the point that he’d take his frustrations out on you

and you very kindly put up with him but then he drew the line to when he blew raspberries to his palm when you made him dINNER!!!! and that’s when you yelled at him and told him to tell you on what the fUck is bothering him

so that way he won’t bottle it up and that way you could try to help and eliminate what it is because you’re also caught in the crossfire thank u very much

it’s his idea to take you out to this party and you’re not being your usual self in this one

and the way tae talked to you upfront made you look up from your drink that you still haven’t finished, a pout on your face

now ok taehyung wasn’t close to giving up on fishing the answers from you but you thOught he was because he was leaning back on his chair

you also really wanted to tell him what was happening too and so you did!! completely caught him off-guard when he stole your drink away from you and almost spit it out the moment you started telling him what was happening

“you didn’t have to open up with THAT y/n jeez you could’ve opened up your story with the start!!! not tHAT”

the somehow comic relief taehyung brings you puts a smile on your face because although you don’t voice it out often, you’re infinitely grateful to have tae

he is perhaps the most understanding and rational person in your life and he’s just so soft and supportive and quick-witted that

oh my god are you crying

you’re in the middle of telling the whole timeline when taehyung feels your head nudging at his shoulder and nOrmally he presses it down

but this time it felt different because well you were sobbing

and now you felt so heavy and there’s this unexplainable weight in your chest because god jungkook is just so fRUSTRATING!!!

he’s beyond angering and frustrating and he makes you want to launch yourself to the ground

“i-i don’t — tae it’s juSt god fuck aHhH!!!! h-he’s so-“

taehyung nods in agreement even though you couldn’t see him because your face is shoved into his chest and he’s rubbing soothing circles onto your back

“i know, baby :((“

he’s in disbelief too

jungkook is an ass and no matter how much taehyung wants to understand that he may have good n pure intentions, his execution is just so fucking horrible

there’s no in-between

either you wanna be committed or not!!!! that’s it!!!

this just wasn’t a netflix trial you could have for a month and when it hints to you that you’re gonna have to give a little bit more,, you immediately fLEE

or maybe it’s just taehyung trying to see the best and over-analyzing things that maybe,,,, maybe jungkook’s just… jungkook

there’s no changing him

he’s unhinged and does whatever he wants (would sometimes stop when reprimanded) and whatever repercussions that are brought out, his first instinct is to toss it aside instead of facing it head-on

you must’ve been lying on taehyung’s chest for atleast an hour because you realize that you aren’t crying anymore and the tears on your cheeks are dry :((

“d-do you want a punch?? i’m gonna go get a punch. four seasons?? we like that, right?? okAy i’m gonna get us some punch!!!”

that’s you for sure :))

you’re immediately bouncing up and clapping your hands pretending that you weren’t a sobbing mess just minutes ago

taehyung knows that you do whatever you need to cope so he just puts his thumbs up,,, even if he prefers pineapple more than four seasons but it’s okay,,.,. whatever you want :))

you needed that

tae was mumbling whatever he had in his mind while you were crying and you listened!!! you don’t know what part should you take from it but you dO know that somewhere along the lines, maybe he’s right

you just want some punch is that too much to ask :(( crying has left you dehydrated and water is the most preferred option but uh that shit is PLAIN

maybe this party isn’t so bad after allthe lights don’t give you a headache 

and you see the punch table rIGHT ahead of your path and oooh red cups aren’t the only cups available!!!! that’s so-

“Y/NNNNNNN!!!! look, look!!!! look at me!!!!!”

a voice shrieks from behind you and you immediately feel a pair of arms wrap around you

you’re kinda in panic because taehyung isn’t tHIS heavy and you look down on the arms wrapped around your middle and that’s-

jungkook?

the man in question comes to your view and it’s clear that he’s beyond intoxicated with his glassy eyes and the drunk blush on his cheeks

you took a two-day leave from work that taehyung gracefully granted you to avoid jungkook.,,. jungkook who’s standing right in front of you

“loooook!!! look at meEeeeeEe!!”

you’re rigid in your place because out of aLL the people you could possibly see in this party, why did it have to be him??? you’re okay with seeing yoo-

he’s pointing on his ear and he even waves his hand across your face and is that what he’s talking about??

it’s glimmering underneath the light and???

is that

is that a conch piercing???

you’re rendered breathless because it seems wrong to you…,. not criticizing it as a professional but rather, criticizing it as-

“i thought i was supposed to be the one to do that to you?”

jungkook’s blinking at that as if he’s digesting your questionmeanwhile 

your throat is tIGHTening and there’s this fresh wave of tears again because you’re literally quite reminded of him

wHEN HE’S IN FRONT OF YOU

and he’s still pointing at his ear before he’s using his other hand to something or someone behind you and you cAN’T bring yourself to care because-

“oHhh lisa did it on me!!”

taehyung arrives at the exact time you needed him to just hastily, frazzled because he’s trying to connect the fucking dOts on what’s happening

here is his five-second deduction

you’re tearing up and your bottom lip’s trembling which means you’re about to sOB

jungkook’s right in front of you and his right hand is pointing to his reddened ear

a) taehyung has never seen this conch piercing before

b) he would know because he’s one of the two piercing artists in the shop jungkook also works iN and he’d remember if he pierced him or not

c) it’s reddened and there’s some dried blood near the piercing which indicates that it was freshly-pierced

and jungkook’s other hand is pointing to this girl that’s sitting on this couch with a lamp beside her and she’s nOT wearing gloves and taehyung guess that she’s the one who pierced kook???

he’s not sure

although he’s sure that jungkook is fucking wASTED and you can’t bear whatever that’s happening

“can you go home by yourself?? or should i call hoseok to pick you up?? i’m uh, i’m gonna take jungkook home..,. are you sure you could take yourself home???”

you don’t need to be told twice because you’re bolting out of the house so qUICK

oh god you need to get out you nEED to

jungkook doesn’t remember sHIT

he’s drank himself stupid last night is what he’s certain about

there’s no explanation to how he even got home last night and the post-it notes on his console table doesn’t help in the slightest bit

“you’re stupid. - taehyung”

that dumps cold water on him because oh god what did he dO this time

he’s done enough stupid things in these rocky weeks alone!!! what did he do this time :(((

“taehyung told me how stupid you are. he’s right. you’re stupid. - jin”

jin too???

jungkook cusses himself underneath his breath because his head is kILLING him (rightfully so) and he’s about to run his hand through his hair when-

wait

wait a damn second

… he has a new piercing?

he’s immediately fumbling towards the floor-length mirror and he just then realizes that jin’s already went to work wITHOUT him and that puts the pressure on him even more

true enough, his conch is pierced and he’s racking his head on wHY does he have it until it all snaps in his head

lisa.,,..,.

it’s coming back to jungkook now

he remembers you taking two days off and those were the loneliest two days ever he’s ever had working in the shop

then by the end of day two he was such a mess that jin didn’t even know what to do with him

thus came to him via text that there was this hUGE party that’s about to be thrown and he honestly thought why not!!! :D

everything’s going wrong anyways lemme go to a party :))))

and then he bumped into lisa!!! his sorta fling back in uni that he may have dropped suddenly and here she is,,,,

she complimented him on his piercings and jungkook was confused because he already had them back in uni???? okay then thank you????

and he doesn’t know how he obtained this piercing but he’s sure that lisa was the one who did it on him

AND THEN HE SAW YOU

you were crying and he can’t remember wHY but then jungkook’s piercing stings again and it’s like his soul hates him too

because oh

right

lisa shouldn’t have been the one who did that on him

there’s a lot of things jungkook sHOULDN’T have done

god why is it only hitting him now

he’s took a shower as fast as he could and he may have been crying

while he was taking it but that’s not the point

the point that shocked most was you

in work

you actually came to work!!!

taehyung wasn’t able to reach you that night besides get a text from you that you arrived home safely and that’s about it

he thought you needed more time off considering what happened but you’re hERE now????

jin, who had a crash course on everything that’s happened between you and jungkook is also even MORE shocked and he keeps gasping every two seconds

hobi’s happy to see you back again and he welcomes you with a warm hug that you melt into :((

jimin on the other hand completely invades ur personal space in 0.01 seconds because he’s bounding towards you vERY happily

“i missed you!!! i missed you sO much!!! my two days were basically pOINTLESS without you!!!! i asked myself wHy am i still working here without you here-“

“jimin i hired you to work-“

“and i already know that this place is falling aPART without you here and if i leave??? then what???? so i decided against resigning and waiting for you to come back and then you cAME BACK!!!! :D”

he’s so giddy that you automatically become as giddy as he is, just letting him twirl you around while he still has you in a bear hug

jin has a sorry look on his face as he hugs you and you knOw that he knows :((

he’s mad disappointed in jungkook

you automatically know that there’s one person missing here and you’re slightly thankful for it

you just wanna work in peace and it seems that there’s kinda a big waiting list for you to get through and jimin’s calling them up at the moment to let them know that you,, the piercing artist they specifically requested for,, is back!!!

you’re not chirpy and that’s understandable

lol you’re in spain but the s is silent

this quiet you’re encasing yourself in leaves you along with your thoughts and your thoughts are the fUrthest thing away from quiet

it’s not just about the piercing, y’know?

it’s not that piece of jewelry on his ear and it’s not jUst about who pierced it on him

it’s about the sentiment and things that you can’t explain because you don’t wanna say the L word considering that jungkook doesn’t feel the same

and he probably never would

you think growth and suddenly it’s not!!!

you think jungkook wants something more as much as you do and then suddenly he leaves you!!!

you think you’re moving up steps but in reality you haven’t even left your initial one in the first place!!!

you’re so preoccupied with your thoughts that you managed to ignore jungkook who came in late and was beyond surprised and at the same time nERVOUS that you came in for work

although not to preoccupied to ignore that someone was plopping themself on the client’s chair in front of you

you can’t recognize them from their hair color but you dO recognize with how it’s oddly familiar with it’s shape

and then your eyes trail down and upon see only the eyes you’re immediately freaking out

“YOONGI!!!!!”

oh my god

it’s yOONGI!!!!!

your shriek practically leaves everyone in alert and even hobi who was in the tattoo room rush out mid-session to see what was going on

yoongs is more than happy with your reaction and he squeezes you even tighter than the embrace you’re giving him rn

….

….

jungkook doesn’t know if he is the only one here who is beyond lost but uhhhh not to be rude or anything

but who the fUCK is yoongi???

his heart sinks seeing you hug this unknown person and god he could do nothing but wish that it’s him on the receiving end

he’s immediately stalking towards jimin because after all, he iS the one who’s let this guy through

that’s right he did let yoongi go to you asap and it was a surprise for you too and he’s the only who knew that he was visiting :D

10/10 secret-keeping skills

jungkook has a cat-dog relationship with jimin but he’s putting that aside for now because he’s dESperately pawing at jimin’s arm to ask who tf is this yoongi

jimin’s shocked because he didn’t think jungkook would be literally begging him rn but okay,, he’ll give in since this kid looks like he’s gonna bawl

“ah!! yoongi-hyung!! haven’t seen him in awhile :D”

jimin answers and that doesn’t answer shit for jungkook but now that someone else said his name, it sounded familiar??

he can’t exactly put his finger on it but it just felt so distinct

“are they related or?”

he’s asking more because he’s prying for an answer and well jimin’s still watching your interaction unfold

ngl he’s enjoying not giving answers for awhile

but then again kook is shaking him slightly and he’s pleaded again to give the younger boy an answer

“lmao they’re exes, jungkook”

w hat

a prick of fear arises on him because him?? you?? relationship????

“… y-you mean yoongi’s y/n’s ex-boyfriend?”

he’s trying to take in this bit of information and he doesn’t know HOW

he doesn’t know how he should react nor can he explain this sinking feeling in his stomach

the fact that jimin is now speaking without being asked doesn’t help at aLL

“yup!! from what i know and what y/n told me, they were together for three years!!”

“tHREE YEARS???”

o-oh

jungkook’s eye is twitching and his breathing skips because wow

that’s nice

three years :)

that’s a small number, right?? you were in a committed relationship with someone for three years!!! and said someone is now your ex-boyfriend

and for sOME reason, you’re hugging him and the two of you are all good!!

there’s this fear in him again because he doesn’t want to entertain these thoughts, honestly

thoughts that maybe he’s a tad too late and that perhaps you’re back with your ex-boyfriend and you want nothing to do with him because compared to yoongi, jungkook is perhaps nothing!!! :D

“mhmm-hmm. broke up on good terms tho as u can see, they’re still cLOSE, yoongi went abroad and well,,, y’know”

you missed yoongi so much

well uh you don’t love each other like that anymore

it was bound to change anyway

him going abroad to pursue his dreams and you just wanting to stay

it was a mutual decision to break up but although the label wasn’t there anymore, the both of you still looked out for each other :)

lol he’s the reason anyways to why you’re in this job in the first place the both of you were drunk after a date (you watched a basketball game) and then came on the dare that hey.,.,. baby what if you get a piercing license or something

and originally you were supposed to be the only one who took it but then yoongi joined you :))

and some time later you took a break and then resumed and hence the piercing license :))

“c’mon. if i’m gonna get my helix pierced, then i should atleast get it done by my best girl, right?”

yoongi nudges you and it’s this playful aura with him again that makes you laugh

he never really was the one to make you cry or break your heart now that you think about it

kinda sad to think that no one was really at fault for the breakup :(( you and yoongi…. it just wasn’t gonna work

it makes you wary because there always seems to be a trend in your lovelife

the common denominator is that things don’t work out lmao

:((((( lmao :(((((

you’re done with his piercing in a blink and you still can’t stop thinking to how maybe you just aren’t cut out to be loved :((

that sounds so sad

it’s always the word almost for you and it’s exhausting!!!!

after your breakup with yoongi, you didn’t have a relationship after because uH you just didn’t want to

you just didn’t want another off-chance to spend perhaps the best years of your life and then have them move abroad to pursue what they want 

you were afraid to be hURT after yoongi

and somehow yoongi is now a timestamp in your life because there’s eras

there’s B.Y. (before yoongi) and A.Y. (after yoongi) lol

then jungkook came along and it’s this sudden shift in you that you were decided!!!

you are gonna love again and you tOTALLY are into jungkook :D

sike he’s just not into you

…or not?

jungkook’s rushing towards to where you and yoongi are sat and no one was able to register the situation even if everyone was on their toes watching

“do you have a basketball game tomorrow????”

he’s staring at yoongi like a madman and yoongi is so confused because what

“i said dO YOU HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROW???”

okay yoongi is dumbfounded

but then he repeats this madman’s words again for two more times and then it hits him

“how did you know?”

yoongi is laughing because how could this dude pOSSIBLY know about this

he’s taking out of his phone from his pocket so quick and then he’s taking out the case

AND THERE IT IS

that sticker

that sticker jungkook made aGES ago

HI MY NAME IS YOONGI AND I HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROWWW

fuck

he’s met you before!!!

he didn’t meet meet you but his point is that your paths have crossed before!!!!

the gears in your head are turning because how did jungkook know???? he doesn’t know yoongi and no one would know not unless-

“y-you? you’re the one who made that for me??”

ok this is clearly now a private moment and jimin is dragging yoongi back to where the rest of the guys are eavesdropping but mAybe it’s for the best that they leave altogether

jungkook nods and it feels like his head’a gonna fall off

you’ve got this done and customized for yoongi’s birthday back then and you never thought that a sane graphic designer would do it for you.,..,.

you could always do it but you were in a slump back then and for once, you wanted someone else to bring what you want to life

you thought it was a stupid idea to base yoongi off this vine for one of his presents

and you said to yourself that if the fIRST graphic designer i could get in contact with refuses to make it, then u r gonna scrap that idea

but then this graphic designer eagerly accepted your commission even offered a discount but you still paid him full-price with a tip

who kNEW that it was jungkook???

“i know i’m the most confusing and aNGERING human being ever and a sHITTY one too-“

it’s somehow coming back full circle and he’s only realizing now to how mUCH deeper this goes

“but you have no idea how much i want to hold your hand.”

jungkook has commitment issues he’s refused to address for quite some time now and it’s only now

god it’s only now that he has someone that genuinely makes him want to question this mentality of his

“i kept looking for reasons to nOt love you and it’s impossible because they make me love you more”

he’s tried hating to how you go and make tedious crafts like making stuffed keychains (the latest one is named mang and he’s a hORSE) or trying to channel that restless energy into anywhere you could get your hands on

tried to despise the way you yearn for affection and how you’d go so cranky as to give people quips when you don’t get your fix

tried to loathe the way you’re so understanding and nurturing and gOd he sounds like a real asshole

“it’s not being tied down if it’s with you”

jungkook is sure

he has nEVER been more sure

because god he feels like he doesn’t have to pretend to be anything he’s not when he’s with you

he dOESN’T mind adjusting and he doesn’t mind complying to what you could possible require of him

“and if it in a literal sense is, then i don’t mind at all”

jungkook has never wanted someone sO BAD ever in his life

and he couldn’t agree more that he is a total dummy and how he wants to repent a million times over even if it means to get shut down by you a million times more

“because it’s you.”

:D

he means that

he really does mean that

he’s a sensitive thing and it’s hitting him now to how much shit he’s made you go through and he wants to make up for it!!! pLS

“let me take you out on a date, please?”

oh god is he tearing up

is jeon jungkook tearing up in front of yOU

his arms are glued to his sides but the moment he meets your eyes he absolutely losEs it and goes leaping to hug you

maybe he shouldn’t have done that

maybe he should

but jungkook knows that he’s never felt more calm and complete and loved whenever he’s with you :(((

he’s hanging in there

maybe at the slightest nudge of your nose to his neck in his embrace

somewhere along the lines

somewhere along the lines to how the guys are over there peeking out of the break room and in an array of emotions.,..

jungkook’s fiNAlly hugging you

your hands behind your back

his hands holding yours

:))

[bizarreandjarring]

Tag Game! <3

tagged by @eyechrysalis excellent mutual who draws incredible martins :))

Fav color: cornflower blue

Currently reading: all my books are packed away because i'm moving house but i really want to reread Howl's Moving Castle!

Last series: ofmd ;_;

Last movie: The Batman (soundtrack so so good)

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Savory mmm salt

Coffee or Tea: Tea but like, the lamest possible way no milk like a pinch of sugar and steep like 1 minute. I basically just like hot vaguely sweet water

Three Ships: JonMartin, Sted (Gentlebeard but I like to call them sted <3), Gigolas :)

First Ever Ships: Literally Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable afdkjghs

Currently Working On: 10,000 JM art wips - 'Meeting in the Turret Stair' but make it jmart and a sappy comic I meant to have done for todays JM week but lol @ me didn't get past the sketch. Also I want to draw another Agnes thing but idk what. Oh also wanna try and draw something ofmd.

Basically i just need to quit my job so i can draw fanarts

Fav Piece of Clothing: any of my 1000 comfy oversized tshirts, also i have a what the ghost shirt coming im so excited >:)))

Comfort food: buttered toast mmmmm throw some scrampled egg on there too if ur feeling especially wild

Fav time of the year: springtime, obsessed with leaves and also it's my birthday time :3c

Fav fanfiction: Fate, Or Something i think this is like the very first jmart fic i ever read so it has a special place in my heart and also In Scientia, Magicae because the worldbuilding and concept is so so so good and crow is a great writer and cool person literally i wish i was talented enought to make a whole ass graphic novel of in scientia even though its not even finished yet xD

I'd like to know more about: @trainwreckisawreck and @nebulapie

[onf-headcanons]

ONF in Cafe AU

(Establishment)

A/N : 200 followers special!! This different universe from Baker Yuto

Settings : A total brand new universe where they just gather by pure coincidence. Or an alternate universe where ONF later when their contract ended, they gathered to open a cafe once Yuto return to Korea from graduating his bakery course back in Japan. Hyojin, Seungjun and Jaeyoung helped by researching how to register+open business in Korea.

Roles

Yuto : The bread maker

Seungjun : Barista

Hyojin & Jaeyoung : Chief waiter and in charge of cashier

Minkyun : Assisting waiter and more of a helper in the kitchen preparing ingredients

Changyoon : In charge of other menus such as sandwiches/bagel sandwich and dessert

Reader : could be part timer or the regular guest (bonus a fan of ONF as well)

Bonus : Minseok might occasionally drop by to visit or Minseok as another member in the kitchen (i mean have you seen his IG???!!!!!)

Headcanons

As Yuto is more of a bread lover, the cafe would be a bakery+cafe style eatery.

The menu is made and proposed by all 6 of them. Also before they start running business, the kitchen gang has already tried making food to do taste test. (Including WM family)

The menu is written in Korean, English and Japanese.

Yuto would keep trying on making the best bread so he would experiment with different options such as more milk or less flour

Hyojin would always give ideas to improvise. And members trust Hyojin's thoughts because he is such a foodie XD

Seungjun would research and practice on his barista skills.

Changyoon would do graphic design of the menu

Minkyun and Jaeyoung would go out to find spot to rent and open cafe

Once the cafe is opened, this is how they run it.

Because of ONF's nature, I personally think they will test the timing of business by doing a few around of simulations.

This would be suggested by Changyoon and agreed by the leaders

So before they opened, they really tried it out at the empty cafe and simulated with full house for 3~5 days straight. Then they are content with the current timing as below.

I also think Seungjun Jaeyoung and Yuto would keep suggesting adjustments on the timing.

Especially Seungjun and Yuto. Seungjun in the bystander view because he is the barista and Yuto sharing the perspective on what timing those outside kitchen should alert those in the kitchen. They would run timer using their phone.

Bakery closes on 6pm, tidying done by 7:15pm, head out for dinner or simple dinner by whipping up some left over ingredients.

Grocery shopping on 8:45pm or 9pm, headback for cafe for preparations if necessary

Next day 6am at cafe to do early preparations, bakery side and morning take away opens on 7:30am,

10:00am opens for eat in + buffet, they do not do dinner so closes at 6pm and repeat for every day.

They closes on big event public holidays, end of the year+new year.

(They will get quick lunch by ingredients whipped up from the kitchen. Hyojin will switch with Jaeyoung, Seungjun will switch with the part timer, Yuto will get quick bites while waiting for dough to rise, Changyoon and Minkyun will switch)

(BTW this is just reference from my weak experience working on restaurant)

There are 5 walkie talkies. Hyojin, Seungjun and Jaeyoung have 1 each, 1 at the cashier and another is at the kitchen with speakers. This is for them to communicate and alert each other about the crowd and also any food items that are running out.

BTW should we are using the Minseok as one of the member in kitchen, he did not join immediately. But he do drop by to support his hyungs and being the 2nd food taster.

His hyungs and Yuto are a bit reluctant to recruit him but, to their surprise, Minsk volunteered himself.

And oh boy his hyungs all in awe at how good this baby boy's cooking is!!!

Funny moment when Seungjun caught Hyojin eyes are gleaming with bliss after Hyojin tasted Minseok's food. And then only the other hyungs swarming over wanting to taste Minseok's cooking lol

(Hyojin already numb due to so many times food tasting lol but cos he loves to eat he still finishes all the samples. But Minseok's cooking was a breather for him at that exact moment)

Also Changyoon has an idea that putting surveys on each table and let guests to fill in. When they submit to cashier, they might get coupons (?) or maybe discounts about 83%

Or maybe some collectibles and when they got all six stickers, they get 83% discount? (its flexible)

The cafe gains popularity because of the quality and due to good looks of chief waiters and barista.

Also, I think in their menu, (should this is the contract ended ONF universe), they might integrate the member recommendations, it is flexible either food or drink. Or maybe both

Hyojin definitely going to recommend 2 smoothies.

Changyoon would recommend pasta and dessert

Minkyun will go for a sandwich

Jaeyoung might recommend Yuto's sourdough bruschetta

Seungjun will recommend one type of latte

And Yuto will recommend 1 or 2 breads found at bakery/buffet corner. But for menu he would give out tips like which bread type goes better with which cheese or jam

（BTW I think its cute should they use their mascot deer, shark, maltese, gorilla, cat and bread as avatar/icon that appear at recommendations!）

And on their birthday, (this could be Seungjun's idea) there will be a 83% discount sticker placed on the recommended food/drink by the member.

And since we talked about menu...

Again its a bread themed cafe, so the main would be bread, brunch and all day breakfast.

Bread type (buffet) : mini croissants, mini buns, scones, baguette, bagel, white loaf, sourdough

Bread type (bakery) : croissant, buns, garlic bread, scones, baguette, bagel, red bean bun, packed bread loafs

Let me explain about buffet first.

Buffet is for brunch+lunch, which starts on 10:30am to 2pm. Its a 90 minutes course. In that course you can pick 1 of each option of bread, salad, toppings, sides (sausages, hams, cheese and baked beans) and also random desserts.

They offer butter (salted and unsalted), 3 to 4 types of jams (strawberry, mixed fruit and marmalade), variety of paste to go with bread (mashed avocado and Parmesan garlic pesto). also Nutella

For buffet, beverage there already stocked variety of juices, warm coffee and tea (that are already prepared earlier) and fresh water

Cheese they will go for cheddar, Havarti, Feta, Mozarella and brown cheese.

Should you don't go for buffet, they have eat in cafe menu. Which are separately made set meals that comes with beverage. Like sandwiches, bagel sandwiches, spaghetti/pastas, or bruschetta with topping of your choice (6 the most)

Seungjun would prepare freshly brewed coffee, latte, tea, frappe and even smoothie.

Desserts are all simple desserts, like mini tarts and mini cupcake. For specially ordered ones would non baked stuffs that Changyoon and Minkyun made early in the morning and stored in fridge (because dont wanna clash with Yuto baking should any bread nearly sold out. Also can have more flexible timing should Yuto need help they can back up)

Initially, Changyoon will always make extra desserts by x2.5 amount, especially mini tarts or mini cupcakes at the buffet area. He is a worry wart.

BTW the bell Changyoon presented Yuto during OnDaeJeon? Its later used at the cafe lol. As the alert tool for waiters that food is done come and take it

I think on early years, at most 2 years, they are not going to do delivery or food app order service just yet.

But they will run an Instagram or twitter account for the cafe and using it just like how they are doing with they current twitter account. Promoting food and giving out random recommendations also a glimpse of their daily lifes running the cafe and bakery

I think Changyoon would upload a pic of seasonal fruit and a teaser for new seasonal dessert? And then lol it will sometimes plot twist ends up being seasonal beverage that made by Seungjun lol

Should Minseok is not a member running the cafe, the boys consult with him occasionally about adding new seasonal,time limited items.

Also Hyojin and Yuto being the photographer taking picture of the food. Oops I forgot, the pictures of food items in menu are both taken by them too!

Minkyun will bring along one of his fave part timer to do emergency grocery shopping should he needed a hand.

Hyojin and Jaeyoung will try to help customer to decide by suggesting recommendation

Also Hyojin, who would sometimes keep an eye on how customer do combination on their food and get inspiration from it then later try to propose to the team.

As chief waiters, both Hyojin and Jaeyoung would always during at the cashier, asking customers should they have any suggestions or proposal (even if they submitted the survey). Values communications and feedback between staff and customers.

Also Seungjun will help out keeping an eye in case they miss out someone trying to call a waiter. Later after a year of profits, they upgraded to bell calling service type, press a button and they come serve you in a minute.

Initially, Hyojin and Jaeyoung would make use of walkie talkie to recite orders that they get so that Seungjun, Yuto, Changyoon and Minkyun can get them

After maybe a couple months of profit, they upgraded it to tablets. while the walkie talkie is used as mentioned above, to alert regarding to run out/sold out food items.

Also, once reached closing hours, I think they will also have a brief meeting. Especially for waiters team. I think Hyojin would guide and critique on performance.

In overall it is very warm to work with ONF but you have to keep up because they are also strict.

I can see should they know part timers birthday, they would wish them. Maybe Changyoon/Minseok will shove special dessert or pasta for them.

It will be funny that some fans went there hoping to see Yuto, Changyoon and Minkyun but they are busy, do not want to disappoint, Hyojin and Seungjun might try to call them out using walkie talkie. (only apply to the contract end universe)

Oh I had a thought, maybe not the public knows that Minseok joined? I think maybe its also Minseok's terms and conditions because he does not want the spotlight he just wanna help running the business

Also should WM family drop by to visit, the first word as they enter the door, both sides will go “Aigooooo~~~~!!!” (Refer to RTK where Oh My Girl drops by to check out ONF for TWML practise)

Should that happen, its a big day for the fans

BUT!!! I can think ONF cafe later be the hangout spot for WM family? like member’s birthday? lets go to ONF cafe! Because Yuto baked a cake specially for us!! and off they go~ 

I mean its a great deal, considering Yuto’s love for bread and he did not sell customised cakes. So its personalised stuff he made for those he cared about.

That is why mostly the gathering will happen after 6pm or

Maybe WM managers drop by to pick up the special cake

Also, Yuto let part timers to have leftover breads or desserts at bakery and buffet area for free. His hyungs agreed because you should not waste food. Plus freshly made bread are their selling point so they won't recycle them.

A/N : gonna stop here and should there is more, I might do a part 2~!

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

What items did you get for your quarantine shopping list? I did re-supply my first aid kit, but am struggling with food ideas.

Oh, boy. I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I feel it never hurts to be prepared, so here’s my list.

For pantry food: rice, dried lentils, canned beans (pinto, red, garbanzo, black), canned vegetables (corn, green beans, mushrooms), canned tomatoes, canned chicken and salmon, canned corned beef hash, spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, peanut butter, jarred chipotle peppers, canned dulce de leche, microwave popcorn, plain and cinnamon sugar pita chips, tortilla chips, powdered milk, powdered mashed potatoes, Jell-O pudding in powdered form. Flour, sugar and yeast because my daughter likes making homemade bread. Graham crackers, Hershey chocolate bars, and marshmallows because the kids like making s’mores in the microwave. Rice Crispies because ditto rice crispy treats. Microwavable mac’n’cheese. Pop-Tarts, breakfast bars, instant oatmeal. Add-water pancake mix. Raisins. Peanuts.

For seasonings: Chili seasoning, Sazon seasoning, olives, capers, canned sardines, salt, pepper, hot pepper flakes, Soy Vey teriyaki sauce, hot sauce, powdered broth cubes, garlic, powdered Parmesan cheese (yes, we have this in the US and it’s an acquired taste), olive oil, vegetable oil, vegetable cooking spray.

For freezer (because electricity should not be a problem): ground meat, turkey kielbasa sausage, frozen soup vegetables for soup, frozen stir fry vegetables for fried rice.

For dehydration (some of the symptoms mimic stomach flu): Jello-O gelatin, Emergen-C, Crystal Light flavoring (also provides Vitamin C), Gatorade, 7up, lots of tea (chamomile, English Breakfast, Constant Comment, peppermint).

For illness: Advil, DayQuil, NyQuil, Immonium. Canned chicken noodle soup. As you can see, I am not really afraid of getting sick. My main concern is being told to stay home and having a hard time getting groceries either because I can’t get out or because the supermarkets are having trouble stocking food for any reason (hoarding, supply chain problems, etc…). [EDITED: thermometer, which I totally forgot about, chewable acerola tablets, and Vicks]

For pets [EDITED]: Kitty litter, cat food, dog food, pet meds.

Paper products [EDITED]: Paper towels, disinfecting wipes, toilet paper, kleenex tissue.

This is extremely individualized, so YMMV greatly. I also focus on foods that I will be able to use in the future (hence no Spam because we don’t eat it at home). I usually have most of this in my pantry (except for the powdered milk, and Jell-O, which I usually buy fresh), so it’s just a question of buying more than usual. That’s why I mostly buy stuff that keeps for a long time. I don’t want to have 50 lbs of cheese in my fridge for weeks or lots of moldy bread because I was paranoid.

With this I can make rice and beans, fried rice, rice with vegetables, lo mein, bolognese, puttanesca, arroz con pollo, rice with sausages, sausages and mash, picadillo and mash, sesame noodles, chicken soup, lentil and sausage soup, regular chili, taco soup, chicken tinga chili, salmon cakes, chocolate pudding, rice pudding, dulce de leche crepes, etc… I can also keep the kids entertained with bread and dessert-making, which is the biggest problem I tend to have during emergency situations. Luckily, electricity and wi-fi should be fine during this kind of emergency. If nothing happens (and it probably won’t) then I will use it up slowly over time.

I’ve lived through blizzards, hurricanes, and just plain blackouts, so this is pretty old hat for me. The one thing that’s different from my usual “something bad may happen, so let’s be prepared” list is that I added a frozen section since the power won’t go out. LOL, I even bought batteries because I may as well stock up on everything.

AGAIN, THIS IS NOT MEANT TO ALARM ANYONE. I don’t think anyone has to go out and buy cases of Spam and Velveeta. However, it doesn’t hurt to think ahead and try to figure out what you may need in case it’s recommended that people stay inside for a few days. Your list will probably be different than mine. Just think of what you would like to have around if you’re stuck inside for two weeks, and what you would do with it if this turns out to be over-prepping (as will likely be the case). 

And this is just what I do. Your list may be just Kraft mac’n’cheese and a couple of cans of Amy’s Soups, or you may have truffle oil as an essential pantry item you can’t live without. Everyone is different.

[winebleeds]

@bnjmin    sent    ❛    5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. for all :)    ❜

⤑   TAKE A PEAK

you’re really making me add this to a read more again, huh.

5. closet

raleigh: his button up shirts & nicer tee shirts on clothes racks with sweaters on the top shelf and shoes on the floor below. he doesn’t have too much room in it otherwise. liz: her closest is too complicated, fuck that. but, while the majority of it is white, the clothes are organized by shades based on the electromagnetic spectrum. surprisingly, most of her shirts are her nasa polos & the only consistent outfit within the closest. because she usually has less than 10 outfits at a time. she swaps out clothes during the seasons, and resales clothes after wearing them a couple times. her sweaters, her personal ones or stolen ones, are kept in drawers within the bedroom alongside jeans & workout attire. like clothes, she has a selected amount of shoes on a bottom shelf. while it won’t be as big as this closest, this has the general vibes. jamie: like raleigh, his button up shirts and any suits. maybe some of his track wear that shouldn’t wrinkle. nicer tee shirts his tennis shoes... and of course his horse gear hiding in the corner :3 maddie: her clothes are just swung on racks when in a hurry to actually clean. if it’s in order, it’s because liz cleaned maddie’s room. most of her shirts are band shirts and leather & jean jackets.

10. pantry

raleigh: box pasta (he loves bow ties because they look like bow ties), rice, cereals (mainly honey nut cheerios, and he’ll try all the flavors), chips (like pretzels, cheetos, popcorn), and kraft mac n’ cheese. then basic baking stuff like cake mixes, sugar, salt, like, typical foods that’s mixed around where he has to scan for a bit to find what he wants. only his teas are organized. and dog food on the bottom. liz: her apartment does not have a pantry. rip. but they way she has food organized is precise.  jamie: his studio does not have a pantry. but it would have box stuff similar to raleigh... but vegan versions... alongside having the most spices out of everyone else and protein stuff. and his would be organized like liz’s. maddie: her apartment does not have a pantry. it would probably be empty besides her box of animal crackers if she did tho. thank goodness she lives with liz. 

15. bookcase

raleigh: his bookcase holds some of his prized possessions and is one of the few thing he actually keeps organized in his place. and here’s how the bare bones would look like. those science fiction books from his piano instructor, a completed lego models of the millennium falcon and the enterprise as “bookends” with some of his preferred star wars & star trek books, though the models take up more space on that shelf. then everything else is just books with some other trinkets that are vague in my head for now. liz: so she has two bookshelves. the first one is in the living area that most to hold themed books and props to whatever theme caitlyn or liz arranged, though now it’s a combination of whatever maddie and liz want to share in that space. this is what that one would look like, though different items. within her bedroom, liz has a plain shelf with image of it here with several books ordered by the dewey system. she may swap out books when she fells it’s too full, but some of her prized book, like her little women book from her childhood or her engineering textbook from her first class with dr. kumar, will always remain. even if liz may read more on her phone (considering it’s cheaper with the library app), she likes to have physical copies of ones she does enjoy or preorder. oh, slightly off topic, but she’s definitely one of those that reads all the books in bill gates or obama’s book lists every year; she should really join a book club. once liz gets a house, you bet that her bookshelf will look like this one in her study. jamie: this dumbass doesn’t read. maddie: while she doesn’t have too many books for a bookshelf, she does have a vinyl rack. or well, something liz built for her that’s similar to this but maddie would paint lighting bolts on the sides because the sides reminded her of lighting bolts. but she has a simple vinyl rack to store her vinyl that will become canvas for her paintings. and, as for the living room bookshelf, she has one of her 70s cameras she found at an antique store that liz cleaned up for her alongside some of her favorite vinyls to show off or, well, not necessary favorite favorites but ones people will recognize & fit with liz, like fleetwood mac rumors. then, there’s a succulent that liz doesn’t touch that maddie keeps care for; his name is pumpkin because of the orange pot.  

20. refrigerator

raleigh: leftovers from takeout, since normally one takeout plate lasts for two meals. then there’s ketchup, soy sauce, milk, eggs, butter, yoghurt (blueberry or oreo preferred), jelly & jam (mainly blueberry or apricot & there’s even blueberry orange marmalade because why not) some veggies, mainly bell peppers & mushrooms, cheeses, chicken, & hot dogs for his dogs. liz: since maddie & liz would share one, i’m listing things that mainly liz’s here. so she has the meal prep meals in containers throughout the work week. leftovers also last longer for her, about three meals. then there’s meats, mainly chicken & salmon (her favorite), basic things like eggs & milk etc, apple butter, jelly & jam (mainly blackberry & grape), worcestershire sauce, & ketchup. jamie: like, all the veggies you can think of. vegan cheeses, oat milk, cilantro, pickles, jam & jelly (mainly strawberry) leftovers. maddie: the avocadoes in the fridge is because of her. there’s also bbq sauce, sriracha, & leftovers. oh, the the mango habanero jam is hers too. 

25. five most recent google search history

raleigh: 1. names for shades of yellow / 2. beekeeping in urban setting / 3. bee species in california / 4. the most common bee in the world / 5. bees in winter  liz: her google search history has been cleared so i can’t share it :/ jamie: 1. football season updates / 2. how much irrnekg (accidental when holly laid on the keyboard / 3. how much is 8 m in feet / 4. inheritance issues / 5. manage a farm long distance maddie: 1. fairy wings reference / 2. fabric paint in local stores / 3. sour candy lyrics / 4. blinking guy meme / 5. keyboard sale

30. netflix watch history (or just clumping all the streaming services here)

raleigh: the mandalorian, david attenborough’s animal documentaries, x files, dr. oakley yukon vet and yes he cries at every episode don’t judge, indiana jones trilogy no fourth liz: downton abbey, fixer upper, pride & prejudice, the biggest little farm, i am greta, and i guess space documentaries... oh, and the lotr trilogy like, three times already :/ jamie: the office, gilmore girls, flashdance, like all of audrey hepburn’s movies but he tries to hide all of this with fast & furious and cobra kai and action stuff maddie: halloween, nightmare before christmas, the chilling adventures of sabrina, glow, the get down, sailor moon, wayne’s world, magica madoka, the breakfast club

[queennicoleinboots]

Foraging with Count Vanilla, part 2

Count Vanilla, Mr. Williamson, and I were hungry again. Mr. Williamson and I went to the store and bought:

Simple organic truth brocolli cuts

Simple organic truth butternut squash

Simple organic truth cut corn, no sugar or salt added (Eat your heart out Wynona Parmello-Grant, FreeLee the Banana Girl (if you're still relevant), and Count Macrula. We found the corn.)

Simple organic truth sweet potatoes

Dr. Praegar's Californication burger

Red hot chili peppers

Lemon cayenne Kavana probiotic elixir

Honey

A seeded watermelon

Skinny popcorn

Lily's dark chocolate bar

Hershey paydays

French Nutpods' Creamer

Good Karma Flaxseed milk

Unsweetened Blue Diamond Almond Milk

Half and Half

Comforts Baby Water with minerals added, no fluoride

Non-alcoholic Budweiser, canned 12-pack

Sliced Jarred Peaches

Diced Jarred Pineapple

Amy's vegan Maculoni Pasta and Cheeze

Dried blackeyed Peas, featuring sliced fingers of Nelly Fertardo

Non-binary Rice

Rudy's white rice bread

Amy's green tamale

Daiya Tex-Mex Burritos

Earth Balance soy-free margarine

Safe Catch Elitist Tuna

Safe Catch salmon

Safe Catch Garlic and Herb Tuna

Red onion

Simple organic truth red potatoes

Coconut Thai Portabella Mushroom Mix

Simply Garden Ragu Sauce

Organic English Cucumber

Distilled water

Hydrogen peroxide

Rubbing alcohol, 73 percent alcohol, 27 percent tears of plebians

Count Vanilla and I were then debating about what kind of butter we would buy for my continuing saga of cooking. He rolled his eyes and tried to tune out my speech of trying to dissect the ingredients of sweet cream and salt. I even had questions about what the cows ate and what type of grass they consumed. I even wanted to know what fertilizer the farmers used to enrich the soil the grass was grown in.

Count Vanilla's attitude was that we would die from the flu, diabetes, 5G radiation, high blood pressure, a heart attack, a government agent shooting you from a tree if the government wants you off the face of the Earth, starvation, or the jab, so he didn't care about what the cows ate or what were the ingredients of food products.

I am vain as fuck, so I care about my looks, health, diet, immune system, and lately, my smile. I have questions about food integrity. Mr. Williamson and I had that in common, and we were both scorpios born in October. We foraged for similar food.

Joebear, my black bear sexy husband, ate very similarly to us. He was a Taurus who grazed on mostly healthy food. His favorite food was vanilla ice cream with red grapes and cinnamon. He ate normally and was no longer a vegan. He used to be a vegan cub, but he questioned himself after a while and started to eat fish again.

Count Vanilla was an Air Bear who ate almost everything in sight. He hated coffee or hot drinks. He was usually drinking Southern sweet tea. He also smoked on occasion, but usually not during important meetings because he was afraid that he was going to be judged by the other members. Hardly anyone else in the series smoked except Peter W. Parker very occasionally.

As a matter of fact, Count Vanilla needed to go outside and smoke after we shopped. He lit a Oldport cigarette and puffed it. A female panda bear sat outside with him and smoked an Alpaca cigarette. They growled back and forth. I assumed they were talking about food.

"Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy. Joileen, this is Xara, my mommy," Count Vanilla said.

"Nice to meet you, Joileen," I said.

Joileen looked at me and then looked at him. "She's a goat. Who's your father?" she asked.

Count Vanilla stared at her, blinked nine times before he growled. "Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny. Joileen, she's my nanny," he said. "She's not my birth mother."

"Just wanted to make sure," Joileen said.

Count Vanilla stared at her and blinked nine times. "You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal. You pandas are literal," he said.

"And? White cubs have a compulsion to repeat themselves up to nine times depending on their age appearance," Joileen said as she stared at him.

Count Vanilla giggled nine times. "Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct. Yes. You are correct."

"I take it you are not used to panda bears," Joileen said.

"Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope," Count Vanilla said.

"There aren't many panda bears that come to our meetings," I said.

"You haven't been in the right areas. On this planet, it's on the other side of the world. Like, that part of the Green Planet is overrun with panda bears. There are a few pockets of panda bears in the forests here. I'm a member of Erudite Bears of Laatharah, Glorgia," Joileen said.

"There were literally two pandas that were in our organization on Earth," Count Vanilla said.

Joileen burst out laughing. "Earth? You're from Earth? Oh God, the panda bears from Earth are the laughing stock of the panda bears of the galaxies. Sort of like the United Emirates of Chinta being the laughing stock of the nations of this planet. Jeez. And I thought that I was kind of retarded. Uuuuuugggggghhhhh. You can't use that word anymore. Political correctness has affected every multiverse. I want to find the multiverse that remained in the 1990s, a time when political correctness didn't exist."

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes," Count Vanilla said. "That's one of the six or seven words you can't say. Are you questioning my intelligence?"

"Not directly. Indirectly," Joileen said.

"I had to take an IQ test before getting on the ship to get here. Those that scored less than 85 had to ride the short spaceship. That spaceship landed in Watuna, Glorgia. That city is five miles west of Athenia. I scored 103. I rode on the bigass space ship. You probably saw on it on the news," Count Vanilla said.

"You have an average IQ. Mine is 155. And yes, that spaceship is legendary. It takes up a good seventh of all of Athenia. I'm sure bears live on that ship," Joileen said.

I'm dumbtarded compared to her. On a good day, I have 144 IQ, but I usually my IQ is 120. My IQ is still average compared to most people but pretty good for a female.

"Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Whoopedydo! Yes, a lot of bears live on that ship because it was a cruise ship for the three days it took us to get here," Count Vanilla said.

"Do you live on that ship?" Joileen asked.

"No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer. No. I live in a freezer," Count Vanilla said.

Joileen chuckled. "You're hilarious. You're an actual polar bear."

Count Vanilla discarded his cigarette before smoking another. "Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub. Polar cub," he corrected her.

"You're literal AND compulsive. That's incredible. What's your number?" Joileen asked with a smile. She had smoking stains on her otherwise well-formed bear teeth

"Nine," Count Vanilla said. "Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine. Nine."

"I meant telephone number," Joileen said as she stared at him with her green eyes and giggled.

"Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh," Count Vanilla said. "It is 786-423-1905."

"Great," Joileen said as she plugged the number into her smart computer phone. "My number is 110-110-0110."

"Binary?" I asked.

"Very. And my telephone number. It means 'I don't give a fuck. I'm rich bitch.'," Joileen said.

"Young Jeezy?" I asked.

"Yes. Not Xara Si's 'I'm Broke,'" Joileen said.

"I'm Xara Si," I said.

"I'm aware. But my telephone number was created before I heard your song. Your song is humorous and true at the same time," Joileen said.

"Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome. Count Vanilla, I plan to call you soon. I must continue my forage. It was lovely chatting with you both," Joileen said as she started to walk away.

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay," Count Vanilla said. "I look forward to my phone ringing."

"Nice to meet you, Joileen," I called before I spoke to Count Vanilla. "Should we continue our forage?"

"You can. I already found what I was looking for. The only things that would make this moment better would be Mommy Cream and Mommy Chocolate," Count Vanilla said.

[autumnpleaves]

I just chose randomly so skip any that make you uncomfy-

green: do you have a favourite flower?

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

orange: if you could, would you change your eye color? why? to what color, if so?

amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

charcoal: have you ever been camping?

emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move and live in another country? which one?

erin: what was/is your best school subject?

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

mulberry: earbuds or headphones?

mint: favourite flavour of gum?

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

Green: do you have any favorite flower?

Yes! Sunflowersssss and uh... dandelion? Catsear as well! :)

Lavenders and Daisies are also my favorite :)

Beautiful Classics

Purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend

0-0

....

Uh. Okay lemme look up a poem quickly

To All My Friends by May Yang :)

I mean I know it says closest friend, but everyone is my friend so-

Also maybe I should write one coz I can't find any that fits my closest friend

----

Flickering meadows

Glowing hollows

I dreamt a dream and I wish you were here

I close my eyes and the world disappears

You're here with me, and you're finally in my reach

I think whenever we talk, 'You're such a peach'

Late night and early morning talks

Nothing would beat this virtual daily walks

Through the meadows and through the woods

Staying at home and snacking on baked goods

Eggs and Butter, Sugar and Flour

You are my favorite flower

So thank you, for everything

When you're not here, the world no longer sing

----

Eyyy there we go! :]

Orange: if you could would you change your eye color? Why? To what color, if so?

Hmmm no!

I don't wanna change my eye color because in my eyes I'm physically perfect the way I am

I don't wanna change anything about myself, because not only will I definitely choose a really ridiculous color that will not match my entire appearance but because I most definitely would choose Flaming Fiery Orange or Darker Hazultnut Brown or Pink (I'm curious) or Silver/Gray/White /hj /lh

No but really my hair color would most definitely have to match with it and it should fit my entire vibe so I genuinely have no idea if any of that is a good idea XD

Amber: what's saved as your phone's lockscreen

Okay. I didn't think this was a question I would dread answering /j

Those are sadly not my cats. And the moment I realized you could add videos as your lockscreen, well-

Also that last picture is also my chat background :)

Charcoal: have you ever been camping?

Mmmm.... honestly I forgot. I think I have?

My aunt sells so many camping stuff and most of em ends up at my house at one point so I think I might have? I don't remember sleeping in a tent. So probably not.

XDD

I've imagined camping so many times it might as well have been reality at this point.

Camping but never overnight is the right way to put it XD

Emerald: if you had the option, would you choose to move, and live in another country? Which one?

Hmmm maybe Australia or New Zealand honestly.

Australia coz koalas and almond milk, Adelaide specifically for that rural area vibes and the uni

Melbourne for the city vibes and the theater :)

New Zealand... because it seems nice XD

Erin: what was/is your best school subject

Hmmm.... it used to be....

Let's see.

Elementary/Primary: Math, Science and Music

Junior High/Secondary: Math, Science, English, Music

High School/Uh.. Higher Secondary: Pure Maths, Chemistry, English

So yeah I definitely... did better in some of them XD

Honey (download honey now to get insane promos on yo-): your thoughts on magic- does it exist?

Yes. Definitely.

Wait actually-

I genuinely don't believe in magic. Like its not gonna happen. But I want to believe in them, so I give myself the benefit of doubt, and just like yeah it happens if it happens! I believe in miracles, not magic tho. It could exist but as of right now, mayhaps! Perhaps not! Who knows~

Gold: do you wear your socks mismatched?

I try not to XD

When my socks are mismatched either the length is different or its just not nice looking so XD

I try not to also because whenever I am aware or like purposefully do it, my skin just crawls and begs me to take it off coz its all wrong and the pair is RIGHT THERE or if it isn't THEN TAKE ANOTHER ONE! NO. MISMATCHED. SOCKS. Unless when you bought it, it is meant to be mismatched then cool. BUT OTHERWISE TAKE IT OFF ITS THE WRONG TEXTURE, SOCKS ARENT ME-

Yeah. Give it up for my brain everyone 👏

Mulberry: earbuds or headphones

Hmmm...

Long periods of time? Headphones

Short periods of time? Earbuds

Headphones have to be over the ear though

Earbuds should be able to sit snugly in my ear, but it should also be used when I'm not going to be laughing or smiling a lot because it h u r t s.

Like my muscles just push on my ear and it PUSHES THE EARBUD AND IT KEEPS FALLING OUT and when it pushes it, it just H U R T S so no thank you.

Headphones also when I don't necessarily need my glasses to see coz the glasses hook on my ear + the headphones just h u r t as well.

XDD

Gosh so many rules

Mint: favorite flavor of gum?

Hhhh, bubblegum. Wait... wait no-

Tutti Frutti or... strawberry cream? If I could prefer it I'd rather not have strawberry cream but tutti frutti is nice

No actual fruit flavors like apple, I imagine that would taste horrible

Pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

Sure after this song ends! :)

Waiting....

Adore You - Harry Styles

I shuffled it twice by accident but the one before that was Bang! - AJR

Prussian Blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

If there is Drinks?

Drinks - Tea. The umm... Honey Tea? Or Milk Tea depends if it has it or not, otherwise cranberry juice.

Snacks - Chips (potato chips) or Gummy Bears or Chocolate it there is any... OH AND UH SALTED PEANUTS I love those uwu

Thanks for the ask ISPINI!!!

[daisyannewinchester]

I MADE COOKIES

HI THESE ARE MY QUARANTINE COOKIES

Imma tell yall how to make them. It’s super easy and they are soooooo good. I get compliments all the time on them. It’s an old recipe that is really my go to. I can crank the dough out in about the time it takes for me to listen to the full the Amazing Devil album The Horror and The Wild. Which also is great dance-around-the-kitchen music. So keep that in mind. Recipe under the cut for anyone who wants some. 

ok so... you wanna start off by grabbing two sticks of salted butter. Leave those in the window sill, you want them nice and soft for your dough. If you don’t have salted, you can use unsalted, then just add a bit of salt later on.

Then you gotta get 1 3/4 cup all purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt (table salt if you will) (if you use unsalted butter then put a 1/2 tsp) and a 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon. And mix all that shit together with a whisk... or a fork... or a spoon.... or your hands if you really want (for all you kinetic people it feels really cool. Just make sure you wash your hands and that they are super dry before you stick them in) in a medium bowl. This is not your final bowl! You will not make your dough in this bowl so don’t worry too much about the size. Just set that all to the side while we get out wet ingredients together. Hum along to Marbles as you work. Or whatever your whisking song is. 

Then your gonna get your wet ingredients together. Altho idk why I call it wet. It’s butter and sugar. Sugar is dry. Oh well. So you might wanna heat up your butter a bit. Put it in a bowl first. I do it in one minute increments on power level 3 in the microwave. You want it to be super soft. If you end up melting the whole thing that’s totally ok don’t freak out. but try to aim for super soft/melted on the edges.

Pick your Final Bowl and put 1 cup of light brown or dark brown sugar. Doesn’t matter what kind. Dark Brown will be more mapley. So one cup of that and 3/4 cup regular white sugar. Put the sugar in the Final Bowl then the 2 sticks of butter on top. Lick your fingers after you touch the butter. Then wash your hands. Get a blender of some sort. you can use one of those fancy mixers if you want. I use a hand blender thingy. Do a little spinny twirl thing. You look cute. You’re doing great babe. One of the ones with two beaters on the end. You’re gonna wanna blend the two together until they’re mixed very well. Get two large eggs. Chef time. So try and find the coolest way to crack those eggs. I like to smack the egg on the counter until it bleeds. you can also smack it on the edge of the bowl, stab it with a knife or spank it with a spoon. Anything works really. Add one egg and beat it in. Add the other. Don’t do two at once. Idk what would happen but my mom told me that was a Big No. I’m too scared to find out. So one at a time. Then add 2 tsp of vanilla extract. Mix that in until just incorporated. 

Now comes the tricky part. You gotta add your dry stuff to your Final Bowl of wet stuff. I do half at a time. So pour half your flour mixture then kinda fold/hand stir it into your wet. You wanna do that so you don’t create a flour mushroom cloud in your kitchen and get flour on every surface... not that I’ve done that. so beat that in until it’s mostly mixed. 

Sing about wolves and bleating and bearing claws and ripping ribcages open to devour what’s truly yours... which are gonna be these cookies. They gonna be so good. 

Do the other half of your flour, dont forget to fold it in first. Once that’s all done you’re gonna wanna get 1 1/4 cup old fashioned oats. You can see in the pick the kind i get. I like to get the quick oats (not pictured, i didnt have any) If you dont have any quick oats you can grind some up barely in a coffee grinder. You can also just use whole oats. Whatever tickles your fancy. So you wanna add those in and 2 cups of chocolate chips. Milk or Dark. I prefer dark. Eat a few of the chocolate chips. You’ve earned it babe. So mix those in. I use a spoon cuz my beaters kinda weak. NOW YOUR DONE WITH YOUR DOUGH. TASTE TEST. FUCK EGG POISONING OR WHATEVER TAKE A BIG OL SPOONFUL AND EAT IT ALL. ITS SO GOOD. FUCK YEA BABE YOU DID IT. SO PROUD OF YOU.

Now preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Convection bake. Get two cookie sheets. Line them with parchment paper. NOT WAX PAPER THAT IS DIFFERENT. Then, depending on the size of the cookie sheet, make balls of dough and distribute them on the sheet. Leave abt 2 inches between each ball. But it really depends on the size of the dough balls. If you want big ass cookies make big ass balls and spread them farther apart. I recommend getting a spoon (like a tea spoon. but not a teaspoon. just a regular ol spoon) and scoop that dough out into slightly smaller than ping pong ball size. Line em up on the sheet like sheep for slaughter and wave to them as they go into the oven. Only put in one sheet at a time, you want an assembly like thing going. 

 Set a timer for about 10-15 minutes. This really depends on the kind of stove you have so make sure and watch your first batch carefully. while you’re waiting, replay your favorite Amazing Devil song and line a portion of your counter in parchment paper. You wanna take them out when they start to brown on the edges. It’s ok if they still look gooey in the middle that means they’re delish. replace with the other sheet of cookies and set your timer for however long it took. Set the whole cooked tray on a cooling rack and grab the salt. You wanna do this part while the cookies are still hot so the salt sticks. Sprinkle just a bit more on top of all your cookie. Salt to taste. You don’t have to salt if you don’t wanna. It’s up to you.

Let the cookies cool and they will continue baking a bit on the pan. Once they cool enough, remove them from the pan and place on parchment paper. Line empty tray with new balls and await for timer to go off. Worship our Fae King and Queen with a celebratory cookie dance. Try one of the cookies. They’re really good. Swap out the trays when they’re done and keep going until you’re finished! YOU HAVE NOW MAKE QUARANTINE COOKIES. ENJOY AND EAT THEM ALL RN. GO. RN. 

[franklyshipping]

Day 3 ~ Christmas 2019 Ego Fanfics

Day 3 here we frickin come people! I hope you're al hungry because now it is time for the all important...Christmas food shopping! LET'S DO IT!

TAGGING: @goog-ler-iplier

Food, glorious food…writing this part is going to make me hungry, I know it. Just thinking about documenting people buying turkey, chicken, bacon, sausages, pigs-in-blankets, beef, eggs, cubes, mince and steaks of meat substitute, potato starch based egg substitute, roasting and baking potatoes, carrots, parsnips, garlic, onions, sprouts, leeks, celery, spinach, spring onions, bell peppers, tomatoes, heavy cream, semi-skimmed and full fat milks, lacto-free milks, almond milk, soya milk, butter, vegan butter, regular and gluten free loaves, baguettes, wraps and flat breads, chicken and beef stocks, sage, thyme, basil, lemons, limes, satsumas, grapes, walnuts, fennel seeds, cumin, vinegar, star anise, salt, black pepper, oils, black and glace cherries, raisins, dates, apples, cranberries, gooseberries, blackberries, redcurrants, figs, cinnamon powder and sticks, nutmeg, ginger, a multitude of flours and sugars, baking powder and soda, inhuman amounts of chocolate and sweets, whipped cream, savoury snacks like crisps, peanuts, cashews, pretzels, crackers, breadsticks, cheeses and pickles, popcorn, candy floss…and then huge amounts of ice cream….is gonna make me hungry.

Then there’s the whole beverage side of things. There are bottles and cans of fizzy sodas, lemonade, ginger ale, ginger beer, tonic water, elderflower presse, apple juice, orange juice, cranberry juice, instant coffee, coffee machine capsules, earl grey tea, peppermint tea, loose leaf tea, generally festive tea, hot chocolate mixes, egg nog, white wine, red wine, rose wine, port, champagne, whiskey, gin, rum, cream liqueur, cans and bottles of beer, vodka….and sparkling water. Damn…it’s a lot. Undoubtedly you’d need somebody with something like a computer for a memory to memorise all of that, purchase it and bring it home in an efficient manner; thank heck for Googleplier. He was on the mission for consumables, along with his VERY excited boyfriend Blankgameplays.

Now, when it came to public places Blank could often get very anxious and uncomfortable…but not this time. On this occasion, not only did he have his sweet blue Google with him, but he also had a task to undertake, a task he’d been looking forward to ever since he’d volunteered to help Google with it. Blank loved shopping, and he also loved Google, so really this was his idea of the perfect morning. He, of course, was in charge of the steadily filling trolley…and was being a tad cheeky with it.

‘Blank! Get back here! You’ll crash the darned thing!’

Google whisper-shouted as he speed-walked down the aisle after his boyfriend, who was giggling as he half-rode the trolley down the aisle, giddily taunting.

‘Cahan’t catch meee can’t catch meheee!’

Google let out a growl under his breath as he sped up into a jog, and Blank’s eyes widened as he let out a surprised squeak when he found that Google had wrapped his arms around him from behind and brought him to a halt.

‘Are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?’

Blank giggled and nibbled his bottom lip at the sound of his boyfriend’s low growl in his ear. Blank turned around so he could face Google, and stood on his tip-toes so he could deliver a kiss to his nose.

‘Maaaaybe.’

Google pursed his lips as he looked down at Blank…damn him with his twinkling eyes and beautiful smile, always making Google unable to truly chastise him for his cheekiness. They returned to their task, collecting more essential items and crossing them off their list….but it didn’t take long for Blank’s mischief to rear its adorable head once more. This time, he was putting things in the trolley that they didn’t require.

‘My love…we do not need paper plates with pink pigs on them.’

‘Awwww c’mooon! Look at them they’re so cute!’

Blank stuck out his bottom lip dramatically, whining when Google put them back on their respective shelf. Google got close to Blank, whispering with a light, playful glare in place.

‘If you put anything else in the trolley that is not on our set list then I shall, with immediate effect, take away your trolley pushing privileges.’

Blank stuck his lip out even more and tried to engage in his puppy eyes, but Google’s glare merely hardened, so Blank submitted….for a little while at least. The rest of the shopping went remarkably smoothly, Blank was giddy of course but he didn’t try to playfully disrupt the task…so Google was under the impression that he was no longer going to be cheeky amidst the shopping. Oh how he was wrong. Blank was merely biding his time, lulling Google into a false sense of security…until they reached the check-out. Then, Blank did the one thing he knew would embarrass Google immensely WITHOUT making him uncomfortable; namely, a great amount of PDA.

‘Baaaabe, can we snuggle lateeer?’

Google’s eyes widened when, just as he’d finished loading their purchasers onto the conveyer, Blank starting hanging off his arm and softly nuzzling his cheek. His face started to turn turquoise as he perceived other customers staring with grins on their faces. Google stammered, wanting to reprimand Blank, but he was getting embarrassed.

‘L-Love….n-not here….’

Blank grinned and giggled, placing a trail of soft, innocent kisses under his jaw, knowing damn well what he was doing to his adorable android. Google’s blush reached his ears as Blank cooed deftly.

‘Whaaat? I’m just showing the world how much I looove you and wanna snuggle yooou!’

Google tried to look down at Blank with a warning in his eyes, but that only made Blank grin wider, god how he loved teasing Google. Google always maintained stoicism, professionalism and perfect composure in every public situation….but Blank lived for when he was blushing and smiling and had no idea what to do with himself because of his developing emotions.

‘Sh-shhh….p-p-people a-are l-looking….’

Google tried to bow his head as he started to smile nervously, whilst Blank merely giggled fondly at him. He was caught between the embarrassment of people watching them and undoubtedly cooing about them, and the sweet enticing nature of his boyfriend’s loving affection. Google could only reason that emotions were….weird. Google gritted his teeth when Blank winked at him though, and despite how flustered he was…Google knew that he wasn’t going to let Blank get away with this. So when it came to checking out, Google packed everything without even bothering to stick to a human pace, whilst Blank continued to smugly stay close to him and relish in what he’d reduced his boyfriend to.

‘You sweeties enjoy the holidays!’

The cashier called after them with a giggle, which made Blank smirk as Google growled. As they left the store with everything bagged in the trolley, Google could feel his embarrassment diminishing…and his need to have vengeance rising. He was similarly inhuman with his speed of loading all their purchases into the car and returning the trolley, and as Blank made to go around to sit in the front passenger seat….Google gripped his forearm.

‘Get into the seat behind mine. Now.’

Blank’s overwhelming smugness….wavered, just a tad, as Blank saw the danger in his Google’s smile. Blank knew he’d been a teasy shit, and on the inside he’d known there were going to be consequences, which was kinda why he’d done it. Google’s consequences were often rather enjoyable. So, Blank decided to maintain his cheeky, boyish grin as he slipped into the back seat behind Google’s driver seat. Then, Google too got into the car, locked it….and proceeded to tint each and every window, and the front and back windscreens so that anyone walking past wouldn’t be able to see in. Blank was analysing Google’s actions with a giddy, yet nervous curiosity…he knew he was in for some kind of punishment, but as of yet he wasn’t sure of what it would entail; so of course, he asked cheekily.

‘Tinting the windows huh? Are gonna make out a little before we head home?’

Google let out a soft laugh through his nose, before cocking his head at Blank and purring.

‘As enjoyable as that sounds, you and I both know that is not what you deserve in this moment. What is going to happen now, is you are going to remove your shoes and socks, and give them to me.’

Blank’s eyes widened. This could only mean one thing, one consequence. His hands and fingers were shaking as he started to blush, not hesitating to comply with his boyfriend’s command. He wordlessly handed his sneakers and black socks over, making Google smile as he took them and set them aside.

‘Good boy, now….’

Blank watched with nervous, curious eyes as Google lifted the head rest up and off of the driver’s seat. His toes curled as Google purred, his azure eyes gleaming behind his spectacles.

‘Feet up.’

Blank complied once more, settling in the back seat as he rested his feet on the top of Google’s seat. He squeaked when Google gripped his ankles and yanked his feet forwards, and Blank hid in his hoodie when he heard Google chuckle…before putting the head rest back onto the seat. The head rest slipped back into place snugly, trapping Blank’s ankles, and leaving his bare feet vulnerable and exposed for whatever Google desired. Google hummed as he observed his boyfriend’s pale, scrunched soles fondly.

‘Do you know what I’m going to do to you?’

Blank nibbled his bottom lip, shivering as he tentatively looked to Google; he whispered meekly.

‘….t-….uh…p-punish me?’

‘Hmm….you are correct, but what is it I am punishing you for?’

Blank was about to open his mouth to answer, when he let out a surprised squeak. Google had begun tracing his soles with all his fingertips, with his eyebrow raised expectantly. Blank understood that Google was still expecting him to answer him, no matter what else was happening. Blank clapped a hand over his mouth as giggles spilled from his lips….oh this was going to be diabolical.

‘I-Ihihit’s b-behecause-ohomygohod….i-ihihit’s….’

Blank let out a light whine, he couldn’t get his words out through his goddamn giggles! Google meanwhile just kept on tracing all over his feet, relishing in the gasps and giggles that he adored so much. Blank’s mirth was utter perfection in Google’s eyes, and he took any and every opportunity to coax it out.

‘Yes dear?’

Blank squeaked and spluttered when Google lightly skittered over the balls of his feet, making Blank scrunch and tug weakly at his trapped feet.

‘P-P-Pleheheeease I-I c-cahan’t t-tahalk lihike thihihis!’

Google cocked his head at Blank softly, smiling with innocent nonchalance as he replied.

‘And yet you still are perfectly coherent. Don’t worry, you can take your time, it’s not like you’re going anywhere.’

Blank threw his head back with his loud giggles as he tugged at his feet more and more, the incessant tickling at the balls of his feet was really affecting the poor guy. Blank knew he had to do everything he could to answer Google’s questions though, it was Google’s thing whenever he tickled, he asked question after question after question like he was doing an experiment.

'Ohohogohod ohohokahay I-I wahas cheheeky!’

Blank squealed out his words as Google lightly raked his nails up and down Blank’s taut, ticklish inner arches. The android smirked, letting out a satisfied hum at his boyfriend’s adorable compliance.

‘That’s right my dear, you were cheeky….very, very cheeky…’

Blank got chills down his spine at Google’s cool, deep tone of voice, and whimpered when Google made his inner-arch tickling devilishly light.

‘Why don’t you list all of the cheeky things you did?’

Blank hit his car seat, the light sensations making him want to curl up and hide away forever as electricity coursed through his body. It took him about a minute of whimpery giggling before he managed to even think about answering, all throughout which Google observed, lovingly. Google adored how ticklish Blank was to even the lightest of touches, it was endearing, and marvellously enjoyable to exploit during moments like this.

‘I-Ihihi r-rahahan wihith the t-trohoholley!’

Google hummed, tracing the wrinkles in the centres of Blank’s scrunched soles.

‘Yes, and?’

Blank softly squealed and hid his face in his hands, his giggling becoming intermingled with soft squeaks and hiccups now; his replies were getting faster too.

‘I-I-Ihihi p-puhut stuhuhuff ihin the troholley wehe d-d-dihidn’t nehEED!’

Blank jumped and yelped when Google sneakily scratched the pad of one of his big toes, which spurred Google to softly trace over both his big toes as he purred evilly.

‘Mmmm, that was particularly cheeky of you….but what was the naughtiest thing you did, hmm?’

Blank’s face was screwed up and his eyes were squeezed shut as colour bloomed on his normally pale face, and his lips spread into a wide, embarrassed grin; the tickling was one thing, but making him talk amidst it all? That’s what made it true tickle torture for Blank.

‘IHI EHEMBARRASSED YOHOHOU!’

Blank was squealing and laughing his head off as Google took time and pleasure over scratching every single pad of every single one of Blank’s little, pale toes. This was the pinnacle of the punishment and Google was going to make sure the punishment wasn’t forgotten in a hurry.

‘Yes, you did. Despite knowing how much public displays of affection cause the human flustered emotion to rise within me, you partook in them with me anyway, for your own naughty amusement….’

Blank let out a shrill wail, tugging at his poor feet desperately as he became more and more teary eyed with every passing second.

‘IHIHI’M SAHARRY!’

Google hummed, casting his gaze over his precious, writhing boyfriend with tender amusement dancing in his eyes. He kept tickling his toes deftly as he leant towards him a tad, purring.

‘Sorry for what exactly?’

Google raised a brow amidst his query, and that teasiness on top of the tickling just brought Blank to his adorable limit.

‘EHEHEVERYTHIHING! AHAHALL OHOF IHIIIT!’

At Blank’s high-pitched wail, Google reasoned that Blank had received an adequate amount of punishment in relation to his cheekiness during their extended errand, so he had mercy. He efficiently released his boyfriend’s feet, and chuckled amusedly when Blank immediately set about bringing his legs close to his chest. Blank was giggling residually and embarrassedly into his knees, but peeked form his hiding spot when he felt a warmth settle on one of his hands.

‘Are you alright?’

Blank melted at the softness of Google’s voice, and looked to see that Google had placed one of his hands on one of his and was rubbing his knuckles tenderly. Blank wordlessly nodded with a bashful smile, and leant forward so he could kiss the android’s hand. Google chuckled fondly, and was about to suggest that make-out session that Blank had previously brought up….when they both suddenly heard a disgruntled gurgle come from the car’s cup-holders. They both looked, and Blank giggled when he saw Gooper lightly squirming.

‘Ohoops, dihidn’t see ya there bud…’

Blank giggled whilst Gooper gurgled once more, this time for a tad longer. Google hummed as he listened to the slightly drowsy creature, before smiling to his boyfriend in amusement.

‘It seems he is displeased at being so roughly awoken from his naptime, but he is happy to take your socks as compensation. He wants to snuggle them.’

Blank spluttered and let out a snort, before picking up his socks and softly tucking them into the cup-holders with Gooper, who purred in thanks before settling down in the new warmth to resume his nap. Meanwhile, the make-out session was put on hold….for the half an hour it took for them to get back home, deposit their purchases, and for Google to carry his cute, barefoot human to their privacy.

WOOOO DAY NUMBER 3 COMPLETE, LEMME KNOW IF YOU GUYS ENJOYED IT WOOO LYV YOUS XX

[bluesunsdusk]

❤ Dating Sim Tropes ❤

REPOST AND FILL IN WITH DETAILS ABOUT YOUR MUSE AS IF THEY WERE A CHARACTER IN A DATING SIM.

NAME: Mamun Wasif Said THEIR PROFESSION: Security advisor, Helix Security soldier and guard.  WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND: His van... Anywhere. Depends on the verse. He could be found at a Helix Base in Cairo at some point, he can be found at Overwatch HQ at another.

FAVOURITE FOOD TYPE: Anything with honey. *covers face* “I like honey. Honey with lemon, honey with cinnamon, honey with milk, honey with coffee, honey with tea.” I guess he likes sweet things and baked goods. Breads and cakes and the like are just so comfortable. 

“Oh, and to Baptiste, I saw this ice cream place with salted caramel flavor! They also had cherries and white chocolate, peanut butter, licorice, popcorn... I don’t know how you make popcorn-flavored ice cream, but I’ll believe them. One time, I ran into a stand that had bug ice cream. Mealworms. I passed on that.”

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: “I don’t drink alcohol.” Mamun doesn’t drink alcohol, but he would like sweet drinks, such as many cocktails, some wines, some liqueurs (a cherry one seems nice), whiskey creams, pina colada, gluhwein. There is this Baileys chocolate drink. He would like that one a lot. It’s very sweet and very chocolaty, and he loves chocolate drinks. As alternative, one could get him virgin cocktails. They taste very good as well. 

FAVOURITE TRAIT: Kindness? No... Well, kindness is important, but it might be incorrect. Dang, Baptiste. Stealing this answer, too, I see. A willingness to look after and help others is very important. One can have all the riches in the world and be poor in the soul. An empty heart is no heart at all, and thus not worth pursuing. At least, his family says so.

WHERE THEY WOULD GO ON A DATE: A date? Mamun hasn’t thought about that lately. He likes going out to maybe a market. It’s a little busy, but it’s fun to be around people and see the sights. There might activities, they have good street food. The haggling is less nice, but it’s worth it. Going to a little eatery or a cafe, have some drinks, some food. Of course, he needs to have the energy for it. So, he could very well decide an at home date is best, since he can’t function well in crowds when the energy is low. He goes nigh non-verbal in that situation. Get him some food and that might help. He basically withers when hungry and/or dehydrated. 

IDEAL GIFT: Small things. He lives in a van right now. Anything big won’t really fit. He likes cute things, like stickers, buttons, small plushies, baubles he can decorate the inside of his home with. Things from someone else’s home are special, as are things someone made. They have a meaning to them, you know. They carry the familiarity that the person has for it with them and add it to his home, making it more their home. Things that remain and don’t require too much care, so no plants, though once he gets a sedentary lifestyle, he might like a few plants. Someone’s company is a wonderful gift as well. Of course, the ideal gift also varies from person to person. Someone very close could get him almost anything kind of nice, and he’ll be happy he was thought about.

WHEN WILL THEY DRINK ALCOHOL: Not. As of right now, he is muslim, under a denomination that disallows alcohol consumption. He’s never had tiramisu either, but he is very tempted to try it... Even were he to give up his faith, which is entirely possible and not unlikely, he would likely not really drink.

HOW MANY DATES UNTIL THEY GO TO BED: Depends on the person and his relationship to them prior. Mamun prefers knowing someone a little before getting sexual with them. He might even never have gone on a date at all, if it’s a friend and they find themselves in a situation where the stars align just right and they slip...right onto each other’s lips... 

TAGGED BY: @amplifying TAGGING: Everybody who sees this and wants to do it.

[visceralcoma]

MEA CULPA, Chapter 1

Relationships: OC/Felix Alexius, OC/Clemence

Story Summary: The first time Paloma felt like she might make a difference, was purely an accident. In all her years on Thedas, it took accidentally steeping the wrong flowers into a tea for her to feel like her life here had meaning or worth, or that she remotely had any power to change anything of what she knew to come.

Chapter Summary: When the Grand Enchanter began negotiations with Magister Alexius, it resulted in the Arl and their servants being run out of the castle. Leaving the running of the castle to the apprentices, tranquil, and Tevinter slaves. Apprentice Paloma and Tranquil Clemence happen to be tasked with running the kitchens when Paloma has to cover for her an ornery mage in delivering breakfast to one Tevinter mage suffering blight sickness.

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When the servants of Redcliffe castle refused to serve the Tevinter Magisters that had all but invaded in their attempt to “talk” with the rebel mages, they were dismissed as quickly as Arl Teagan and Arlessa Kaitlyn had been kicked out as well.

Grand Enchanter Fiona was subsequently too quick to offer the tranquil and apprentices in their place for the remainder of the Tevinters’ stay. Anything to appease their would be allies.

The problem, however, was very few mages had experience on such domestic tasks, as the Circle made them reliant on tranquil and the Templars. Those that did were few and far between. A fact they learned when the mages retreated to Andoral’s Reach, many mages had to take up the task of domestic duties. There were few who had the forethought to grab recipe books from the archives, a few who remembered their youth in their family homes, and those who had lived as apostates. There were the tranquil that came with them of course, but hunting was a necessity in order to supply meat and well…that’s where the apprentices came in.

Nonetheless, mages and tranquil were now tending to Redcliffe castle.

Paloma just so happened to be one of those assigned to kitchen duties. As an apprentice a few years off from her Harrowing when the rebellion began, she had little practical purpose beyond preparing herbs and rote memorization.

“You are awake early.” Clemence greeted as he walked into the kitchens. Clemence had been her mentor on alchemical procedures in the circle. The Tranquil were often used to guide the young apprentices.

The smell of freshly baked bread and a morning stew so the Tevinter guests could break their fast had wafted into the main hall.

“More like I haven’t slept.” Paloma sighed as she kneaded the last batch of dough. She huffed a stray lock of hair from her face, not wanting to stop what she was doing to tuck it back. It persisted to hang in her face.

Clemence came around to her side, expression muted and neutral as ever. He reached and tucked the lock back. His fingers lingering over the curve of her ears, tracing the scarred flesh where he once remembered they were pointed.

“Thanks.” Paloma smiled brightly at him. His face showed nothing, no response, but Paloma didn’t need a physical reaction to know the nod was his form of acknowledgement.

“What kept you from your slumber?” Clemence asked. “Was it the new tincture draft?”

“You read my mind.” Paloma aggrieved as she tucked the dough ball neatly before quartering it, tucking them until they were smooth balls, and setting them into their own bowls for rest with a towel over them. “I think my dried arias are losing their efficacy. The tainted mice didn’t respond as well as the last batch. Plus I need to collect more Andraste’s Grace, but with the kitchen duties…” Paloma tossed the dough on the counter roughly.

“And the increasing level of mage and templar skirmishes.” Clemence reminded.

“Yeah. A lil difficult to head to the Kocari wilds, not to mention the darkspawn alone.  You think they all would have fled back underground with the Breach.” Paloma wiped her brow with her forearm. The stray lock coming loose again.

“It would be negligible to allow you to venture that far south with the increase in darkspawn raids.” Clemence taste-tested the stew and added a pinch of salt and a few more herbs and spices. He stirred once and tasted a sip.

“Hey, that’s going to be a bit too strong.” Paloma came around to stop him.

“Tevinter cuisine preferences are heavily reliant on spiced sauces and stews.” Clemence informed.

“Really?” Paloma came to a pause beside him. “Can I try?”

“If you wish.” Clemence intended on grabbing a second spoon to allow her to taste, but she grabbed the one he had sipped from. He blinked in surprise. “Ah.”

“Ooh.” She moaned. “That’s got some heat! A much better addition.”

“Is it?” Clemence looked down at the vegetable stew.

“Yes! It’ll go perfectly with the rice.” She praised.

Clemence was unused to receiving praise. The Templars only cared for when his potions and cooking was done. A tickle in the back of his mind had him wishing he could smile in return, even if he did not feel the same excitement. But alas, the Rite prevented that.

The kitchen door opened with a disgruntled grunt from Linnea as the milk buckets sloshed and barely remained upright as she slammed them down. “Next time, you’re collecting the ram milk.” Linnea hissed at Paloma.

“Hey, you drew the short stick.” Paloma tutted as she grabbed the buckets to fill the milk churns. One for the larder and one for butter.

“I wasn’t joking.” Linnea growled as her hand lit with flame. “I’m not getting near that thing again.”

Paloma shared a disbelieving look with Clemence.

“Perhaps I should inform our Tevinter guests of your unwillingness to cooperate as a cohesive kitchen unit?” Clemence didn’t blink, merely continued to stir the stew with his monotone voice even. It wasn’t a threat if you heard it in passing, but Paloma knew it to be a threat. There was no tone or inflection, but the words were clear enough to her. And thankfully to Linnea.  

“Tell your Tranquil pet to be quiet.” Linnea barked and left the kitchen.

“Hey! He’s not my pet! And you’re supposed to be bringing up the young master’s tea!” Paloma called out the door into the hall, yet Linnea turned a corner down the stairs. “Shoot.” She eyed the tray she had prepared for it. She still had another batch of dough to prepare.

“I will deliver the tea.” Clemence stated. “You have much to do and you arrived before us.”

“No you don’t. The last time you showed yourself in the great hall, they took great offence. I can’t imagine if you did in Magister Alexius’s private quarters.” Paloma tutted and pushed Clemence back to the hearth. “Just begin preparing the servings. I’ll be quick.”

“If you insist.” Clemence stepped to the iron stove where a cauldron had been sat filled with freshly cooked rice. He carried it closer to the hearth and besides a stack of wooden bowls. With a wooden spoon he quickly filled each bowl. Half with rice. Half with stew. It was packed and set on the serving carts.

Paloma on the other hand was opening a jar with a dried tea powder concoction. She measured out according to a tacked up piece of parchment, exactly three scoops into a parchment pouch and tied it off before adding it to a kettle. As it boiled, she sprinkled in lyrium dust and stirred. It took five minutes to prepare, then she let it simmer for ten before serving it into an enchanted teapot to keep it warm. She set it on a special tray, where Clemence also placed a bowl of rice and stew, freshly baked bread roll, a cluster of grapes, sugar cubes, and lemon slices.

Paloma eyed the grapes, plucking the withering and wilting ones, before nodding. Utensils and linen napkin set on, it was ready to deliver.

“I’ll be back down.” Paloma pushed the door to the stairs open with her hip.

“I await your return.” Clemence watched her go. He stared at where she’d been kneading dough long after she had left. If the efficacy of her arias were waning, it would do well to jar them for preservation, much like they did the berries and fruits.

“Clemence.” Lysas knocked as he entered the kitchen, beside him was another elven mage who was slight and young. “I bring you Banon. He will be assisting you in the kitchens. He has only just arrived. Grand Enchanter Fiona requests he be given simple tasks for now until we can place him in the library.”

Banon stepped in after Lysas. Clemence took one look at him, and then down to his hands. Soft skin, ink under his fingernails, and paper cuts.

Where was a mage still performing archival duties as to have ink under his nails? He squinted but nodded.

“You can assist with the fruit preparation.”  Clemence nodded and directed Banon to the precision knives.

“Fruit preparation?” Banon asked with a frown.

“The Tevinters prefer the fruits are presented for breakfast as such.”  He pointed to the image Paloma had drawn. A cornucopia of grapes, assorted imported bananas, mangos, and berries.

“How queer, so much effort when you can just grab the fruit from a pile.” Banon huffed.

“They are particular in their aesthetic appeal of their foods at banquets and in personal.” Lysas smirked. “Some would say they are worse than Orlesians.”

Banon shivered. “No one can beat the Orlesians in that respect.”

“You will be surprised.” Clemence droned.

“I leave you in his care, Clemence?” Lysas’s gaze flicked toward Banon’s hands with meaning.

“Of course. Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly, including under your fingernails before handling the fruits.” Clemence stared long at Banon.

Banon looked down at his hands.

“You don’t really expect me to take orders from a Tranquil?” Banon spoke up.

“I expect you to aid where you can in these trying times while the Grand Enchanter negotiates with the Tevinters on our behalf.” Lysas leveled him with a stern look, daring Banon to talk back.

“Hmph.” Banon frowned before moving to the sink where he cleaned.

“Besides, Clemence gives no orders.” Lysas smiled softly.

Clemence pulled the other needed fruits from the larder.

“Oh…” Banon looked between them. “Well good.”

“I only remind of that which needs to be done. Be it by you, me, or the others.” Clemence expressed. “It matters little on who performs it, only that it is done.”

Banon wiped his hands dry. “Right…”

“Here are the fruits. Please prepare. The breaking fast banquet will begin soon.” Clemence set the fruits down and returned back to plating the rice and stew, with bread set.

They lulled into silence as they worked. Clemence noted Lysas’s continued presence. He was looking around the kitchen and then down the hall.

“Is there anything else, Enchanter Lysas?” Clemence questioned.

“Where is Linnea?” Lysas frowned.

“Linnea left in a fit of rage after having had to milk the rams this morning.”

Lysas looked down the hall. “And where is Paloma?”

“She has gone to deliver the young master’s tea.”

Lysas frowned, his body rigid as he quickly paled. “Oh dear.”

Paloma ascended the steps carefully, slowing when needed. She reached the third floor of the castle and walked down the hallway.  She didn’t know exactly which room only that it was the one opposite the library in the royal wing. Paloma adjusted her grip on the tray as she passed a Tevinter slave standing guard. She wore little save for the spiked collar around her neck, some cloth underneath that leading down to her chest in a criss-crossed fashion, a belt and long loincloth, leather gloves, and her shoes. Her sun darkened torso and thighs entirely on display. She stared ahead without a helmet to hide her face.

“Um…” Paloma tried not to stare as she passed. They slaves were not allowed to speak to the mages, so she knew not to ask them. But that didn’t mean the slaves didn’t stare. “I need to find the library.” She squeezed out around a held breath.  

The slave stared long at her. Paloma considered just opening each door, until the slave turned her head and stared at a door three down from where they were.

“Th-thank you.” Paloma smiled and plucked a few grapes from the tray and held them out to the slave. As soon as the slave grabbed them, Paloma was quick to keep moving. Else the slave end up in trouble.

She found the door and peeked inside to confirm it was the library. Lifting the tray again, she went to the other door, feeling that slave’s gaze hard on her as she knocked. It was quiet, until she heard a faint invitation to come in.

Paloma pushed the door open and walked into the dark stale smelling room. The only light being from the hearth and a bedside candle. She didn’t dare look, instead wishing to drop the tray off at the table and retreat, but a cough had her looking toward the bed, toward Felix.

He was a lot paler than she recalled.

He let out a wheezing cough as he caught her gaze with his incredulous one. “You’re new.”

“Oh- I…” Paloma wanted to apologize but the young man devolved into a coughing fit as he tried to climb out of the bed. He gripped a bedpost to steady himself.  

Quickly she poured his tea and crossed the room to his side. “Please sit, drink your medicinal tea.” She gently guided him back into bed.

“You shouldn’t come close.” He wheezed as she set the blankets over his lap.

“Why?” Paloma already knew why that was. “Are you sick?”

He gave an amused huff. “Yes, very much so.”

“Oh dear.” Paloma deadpanned, looking from his pallid complexion, reddened nose, and bloodshot eyes. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Felix’s grin was wide as he laughed, which turned into coughs as he clutched his chest.

“Drink your tea.” Paloma tutted as she helped raise the cup to his lips. His grimace told tale of how awful the taste was, but he drank it all. “Yes, I’m sure it’s quite bitter.”

“But its taste is a marked improvement from the powders.” Felix sighed as he settled back on the bed. “I find I can’t quite stomach to swallow them without liquid.” He muttered. “The tea’s texture is much more preferable.”

“You should consider having the powders pressed into capsules.” Paloma suggested as she stepped back finally. “Are you wishing to break your fast in bed or the table?”

“Bed please.” He spoke automatically but was caught on one word.

Paloma grabbed the tray.  Her fingers working quick to pull the legs out to prop it up on the bed.

“Capsules?” Felix squinted.

“Pardon?”

“What are capsules?” Felix questioned again.

“Oh.” Paloma froze. Had she mentioned something they didn’t have yet? “Ah… using the uh powders, if you press them tightly with binding agents, they’re much easier to swallow whole instead of ingesting powders.”

“Huh.” Felix squinted. “I don’t believe my father has tried that yet.”

“Well I certainly hope he may. Will that be all for this morning.” Paloma wanted to return to the kitchen quickly.

“No. Uh…” Felix looked at her and then smiled. “I must say you are certainly a sight better than the last serving girl.”

“Linnea does take some getting used to.”

“She was rather brusque.” Felix mused. Silence lapsed between them.

Paloma looked toward the door. She had so many more duties and things to bake for supper and then evening meal. And she desperately wanted to discuss with Clemence alternative methods of prolonging the efficacy of her herbs. “If that is all?”

“I don’t believe I caught your name.” Felix asked at the same time.

“Pardon my manners, sir! I am Paloma Belpre.” Paloma gave an overly formal bow with a playful smirk. Felix chuckled at her antics.

“I am Felix Alexiu-” He introduced himself but stopped when Paloma’s smile grew wider. “And you already knew that.”

“Almost all the rebel mages are aware of who you are and…” She trailed off and winced.

“Ah I take it my condition has been the subject of gossip?”

“Well...I don’t wish to get anyone in trouble, but...the walls have quite a lot of ears.” Paloma didn’t want to get anyone in trouble just because she knew many facts of things to come and things that are.

“And they whisper quite readily.” Felix sighed and eyed the tray of food. “Thank you for the morning meal, and my tea.”

“It was no trouble, sir.” She nodded, gave a quick bow and left.

Paloma walked down the hall quickly only to see Lysas coming down the other way hurriedly.

“Thank the Maker, there you are.” Lysas huffed as he jogged to her and checked her over.

“What’s the issue? Is something wrong?” Paloma asked.

“No...I…” He paused and looked at the female slave watching them. “I just need to make sure you return back to your kitchen duties.”

“Oh. Of course.” Paloma eyed him. His shoulders tense and his skin paler than normal. They walked down the stairs and back toward the kitchens. “Care to explain?” She asked once they were within eyesight of the kitchen.

“While the Grand Enchanter negotiates our potential alliance with Magister Alexius, she has urged that no apprentice, especially an elven one, be left alone with any Tevinter magister.” He spoke lowly.

Paloma stilled. “I am not an elf.” She stated simply. “But I do see the danger in apprentices being alone with any magister.”

Lysas bit his tongue, not wishing to correct her initial reaction. He was well away of her self-disfigurement. But it was neither the time or place to handle that. “Thank you. I will speak to Linnea on her abandonment of her duties. In the meantime I will have Keili assigned to the kitchens with you.”

“Keili?”