#of course this stuffed animal was given to me by my mom when i was in the behavioral health hospital when i was 16 for self harm

[cartersblogabtnothing]

my friend and i were talking about plushies, so i had a thought about what kind of toys the bat boys would own:

bruce grew up being raised by alfred, who was a proper british man (probably idk) so i think he’d play with weird model trains and planes for no reason. thomas probably got him started on it, and it was probably one of the only things bruce and alfred really connected on. he still has them scattered around the cave or the house, but the kids assume they’re thomas’ and not bruce’s.

dick was a circus boy, so i’m a firm believer in the fact that he’d own homemade plushies or claw machine plushies and toys. cheap but durable, all of them are stained and disgusting but he keeps them around because they remind him of his mom and his dad. now, as an adult, he collects figurines. like funko pop’s! he has a collection in his main safe house in ‘haven and sometimes wally drops in to add a new one for fun.

jason didn’t have much growing up, so whatever he did have was dirty and falling apart because his father got it from the trash or it was found in some bag from the thrift store or a donation center. he specifically liked warhammer and dnd, they were cheap and no kid really liked either of them so he got new figurines and rulebooks to learn. he still has them to this day, but they’re just for display. he doesn’t collect any other toys outside of the ones the kids in the Alley give him, which he loves and adores just as much.

tim had everything growing up, being the kid of two archeologists with endless money would do that to a person. so, he grew up with the latest figurine or toy car or hammer — typical “boy” stuff his parents swore up and down their kid loved, even when he didn’t. he preferred the weird looking plushies he’d get from his nannie’s or drivers, he’d name them and give them genders and sometimes he’d talk to them and pretended they talked back to feel a little less alone. he still has the collection, and he still talks to them and remembers their names and genders he made up. sometimes he adds to the collection, sometimes he shares them. he loves his stuffies like he’d love his own child — like his parents should’ve loved him, but failed to.

(alternatively, i also think he’d get awful lego sets and spend hours taking them apart just to put them back together. it kept his brain and hands occupied so he couldn’t think about how alone he truly was.)

damian wasn’t allowed trivial things such as toys while under his grandfather’s thumb, let alone something of comfort like a stuffed animal or whatever it is drake keeps so close to his chest. the only toys damian was allowed were voodoo dolls that he still isn’t 100% sure were faulty or not. after moving in with his father, he was given more leeway with the things he enjoyed in his leisure time. he still thought toys were ridiculous, but after jon had won him an ugly looking unicorn stuffed animal… damian… opened up to the possibility of toys. he began collecting a very small amount of them, discreetly of course. then he found out about justice league action figures, and began collecting them too. discreetly. he couldn’t let the rest of the family know. that would be mortifying.

(they all know, but they’re far too scared of the possibility that damian might get rid of his toys if they mention it. he deserves to be a child for once and if that meant keeping their mouths shut, so be it.)

duke grew up on “the wrong side of the tracks” but his family wasn’t dirt poor. sometimes he got new toys when he didn’t need a new pair of shoes or his hair redone, but most of the time they were hand me downs or dirty action figures he found in Goodwill or sketchy thrift stores. he didn’t keep any of them, mainly because they fell apart within the year, but also because they were bittersweet to look at after what happened to his parents. now he prefers to collect things like merchandise rather than toys. things like shirts or keychains or posters. he has one or two mini figurines, but he doesn’t keep them on display. they’re just there. posters and stickers are his personal favorite because they’re not permanent, they can be moved and stuck around wherever he wished. he liked that. the control it gave him.

(the control he lacked over his parents, over what the joker did.)

[dearest-painter]

MY perfect family! PT.1

Summary:Being a father of two is hard but when your single? It’s even harder especially as Spider-Man. Finally when you and your kids get back to your earth after being in Earth-1610 you’re immediately added to a society? What happens when you help the anomaly while people are obsessed with you?

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,Reader has 2 kids,Reader is a single dad and spider-man in his earth,The baby mama DEAD AS HELL, very out of character characters,this is a series,Reader was with the og spider crew during into the spider verse,people might be out of character,tell me if I need to add more

You and Peter B arrived but you were surprised to see Miles here. “BUBBA!” You chuckled as Evangeline ran to Miles who crouched and picked her up. “Oh look at how much you’ve grown Eve! Did dada do your hair?” “Mhm! Daddy did me and sissy’s hair!” You walked into view as you held Ayano who was munching on her stuffed animals ear. “What can I do, Im quit talented!” Miguel was watching you..as always, it’s honestly quite creepy with how often he just stares at you. Ayano made grabby hands at Miles with a few ‘Ah! Ah!’ Noises. Miles put down Evangeline as he took Ayano. “Hola Aya” She giggled as she grabbed his face, Mayday now had her stuffed animal.

“Miguel doesn’t bite!” You chuckled and shook your head at what Peter B said then mumbled “Yes he does..fucker bites and growl, be very careful” Miles nodded his head as he trust you very much, Ayano was given back to you as Evangeline was sitting and holding onto your leg. Miguel loved the way you took care of your daughters..he loved the way you acted..yet he hated how fucking stubborn you were! You always found a way to piss him off yet make him fall more in love with you! It was annoying!

You weren’t really paying attention as you bounced Ayano a bit as you texted the usual babysitter. ‘Heya Casey, mind babysitting all of next week? I’m going to help my mom at the hospital and need someone to watch them for a bit’ it took a while but he responded. ‘Yes I can! Expect Friday and Sunday as I’ll need to leave early as we’re having a family reunion, is that okay?’ You responded. ‘Of course! I know someone who can take those day!’ ‘Okay thanks Y/N! See ya next week!’ He was a sweet man who was attractive but you were to busy for relationship.

Lyla was watching the entire text go down..luckily it wasn’t romantic to her and Miguel’s relief just you needing a babysitter. Lyla knew the way Miguel stared at you wasn’t fully innocent..she could see the obsession in his eyes but..she’s encouraging while making fun of him. She herself is just happy that someone is making Miguel less of a grump but still a grump, she chuckled as Ayano and Mayday climb him as this happens SO often! Sometimes when you aren’t paying attention he tries to get her to call him Dada and pretend it’s for you.

Peter B was staring at you lovingly as you and your kids payed half attention to Miguel, he’s always loved you since the day he’s looked at you. When you and your kids first met Evangeline was three years old and Ayano was about 5 months old he presumes(FUCK LOGIC!) but goodness you looked hot in and out of your suit. MJ or his MJ doesn’t mind and actually is willing to let him date you but only if your okay with it as she isn’t really mad as she’s also sorta obsessed with you. Miles leaned on you and you ruffled his hair making him smile, your his dad or other father figure and he loves it. Your one of his many father figures he’d kill someone for.

[queenimmadolla]

Hey, me again! Sorry to bother you but I wondering if I can send a request about my favourite family (but of course remember to take the time you need to write this or completely ignore this request if you don't like it)? I was thinking about the reader coming back home from an afternoon with the other girls and once she comes back, she sees the most adorable scenario she has ever seen. Eddie and the other boys sitting on the tiniest chairs ever, wearing tiaras, make up, fake earrings, playing having tea with Penny and her stuffed animals. Idk, I thought it was cute😅

But Again, feel free to ignore this request if you don't want to write it. Thank you and I hope you have a nice day❤���

this was such a cute request for them and i enjoyed every single second of writing it. i hope i did it justice and i hope you enjoy!

𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐞𝐚 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

(girl dad!eddie munson x mom!reader/pregnant!reader)

warnings: imagery of men in terrible makeup and mentions of pregnancy (reader is pregnant) more penny, eddie and reader (and baby wayne) adventures here :)

If someone were to have told younger you, you’d be a mom before you were the age of 21, you probably would have punched them in the face, strictly because of the implication and the jinxing. While having a baby was something you entertained after seeing a particularly cute one out in the world or something, you weren’t overly fond of the idea of raising a tiny human with someone or even on your own. You considered yourself much too selfish for that. 

  …However, if someone were to have told you you’d have Eddie Munson’s–one of three local freaks and town urban legend in the making—babies, you probably would have given them the keys to your car and maybe the deed to your parents’ home.

  Your crush on the metal head had a lasting effect on you. When you’d actually begun dating him, falling head over ass in love, being with him was all that mattered to you and it didn’t feel pathetic because it was all he wanted, too. 

  Immediately after graduation came marriage and then Penny, your cute little Oopsie as Eddie referred to her when she was in your tummy. You preferred it over his original nickname for her, which was Creampie, seeing as how he was sure that was how she’d been conceived. You forced him to change it.

  Of course, since you had said baby with another on the way, you had to provide for them. Eddie had already been employed at an autoshop—his skill with the mechanics of a car was probably what led to Penny’s conception, you just couldn’t help yourself when faced with Grease Monkey Eddie—and Eden got you a job with her at her father’s firm as his partner’s receptionist.

  It worked out pretty well, Eden didn’t have a car so you’d pick her up before work since she’d rather jump off her roof than drive with her dad, who was also her boss, then afterwards you’d drive back to the trailer where Eddie and Argyle would be waiting for the two of you (if Argyle wasn’t off, she’d chill with your little family until he came to get her because she didn’t want to go home and you couldn’t blame her).

  Normally, your job wasn’t super stressful, you’d just been exhausted lately, though you didn’t exert yourself (Eddie would never allow it). 

  Today you had felt every agonizing second of the work day, it had been so slow. You’d done all the filing, made all the copies, called all the people, there just hadn’t been as much going on as usual and after you’d managed to make it to lunch time, the last half of your shift was spent staring across the room at Eden, both of you blinking owlishly at each other, staring contests, trying to get paper airplanes to reach the other, anything to stave off the boredom. Suddenly, you couldn’t wait til you could take maternity leave. 

  After work, you’d both practically sprinted to your car, the ride was spent bitching about the work day. The closer you got to your home, the more life you felt began to fill you; energy the work day had sucked away returning to you at the notion of seeing Eddie and Penny.

  If you had known exactly what you’d be walking into, you may have transcended into a higher level of joy.

  You and Eden were still chatting as you shut your car doors, still shedding the weight of the work day. She’d been talking about moving in with Argyle, something she was desperate to do but her parents were still hesitant about when you unlocked the front door, pushing it open for her.

  Eden had walked through the doorway and stopped, causing you to run into her back. 

  “What’s the hold up?” You asked, peering around her shorter frame. The sight made you gasp.

  “Hi, honey!” Eddie greeted you, grin so wide it almost looked like it hurt.

  Eddie, Argyle and Jonathan—always dragged around with Argyle—were crouched in tiny pink plastic chairs (much too small for them to actually allow their weight to rest in, lest they break them) around the small table in the living room, which was cluttered with various kitchen utensils and Penny’s pink tea set. 

  Not an unusual sight, since they always indulge your three year old. What was new was the bright colors adorning their faces.

  Eddie had on bright purple eyeshadow (complete with poorly replicated wings of eyeliner), cheeks powdered with an even brighter pink and lips coated in a deep shade of red lipstick, meticulously applied judging by the precision. Pink clip-on earrings dangled from his lobes and around his waist was one of Penny's pink tutus—stretched to its limit.

  Argyle’s long dark locks were in two high, messy ponytails. His eyes were decorated with a blue eyeshadow (ruined with various marks and stains of mascara), cheeks powdered bright red and lips a coral orange. His tutu was purple and his earrings were red.

  But Jonathan…oh, Jonathan. His eyeshadow was pink, cheeks pink, and lipstick a bright red. Penny was always more gentle with Jonathan, for some reason. His makeup didn’t look as messily applied as the majority of Argyle’s and Eddie’s. Unlike with them, Penny had attempted to draw on eyelashes for him, and he had smatterings of glitter sporadically around his face. Not only did he have one of her pink tutus and green earrings, he also got the privilege of wearing her favorite pair of fairy wings.

  He refused to make eye contact with you, staring into the tiny, plastic tea cup clenched in his hand.

  “Hi, babe. What happened here?” You asked, hand moving to hide your smile, though you were pretty sure it was obvious. Penny—dressed in her pink princess dress and a purple feather boa, pretty little face also covered in makeup with a plastic crown carefully placed on her head to make sure her curls didn’t get tangled in the combs of it (Eddie had to have put it on her)—returned from the hallway closet where her toy box was located, arms full of her stuffed animals, all of which she dropped the moment she saw you.

  “Mommy!” She squealed and you squatted down to allow her to run into your arms as Eden stepped out of the way and disappeared into your room. “LOOK, MOMMY! I made daddy and unca Ahgle and unca Johnny puddy!”

  “Uh huh,” was all you could say without laughing. 

  “We awe having a tea pa’ty.” Penny informed you after she’d unwound her arms from around you, giving your baby bump a gentle pat before she ran back over to scoop up her stuffies. They were placed in the other empty plastic chairs surrounding the table and actually looked like they fit in the tiny seats, unlike the grown men.

  “Do you think I’m pretty, mama?” Eddie asked, batting his eyelashes at you with his red lips pulled into a mischievous smirk. Eddie was no stranger to makeup, you’d done his eyeliner for gigs plenty of times and he could now do it on his own, but that only involved lining his waterline and tightlining, not wings. 

  He and Jonathan had silently stared at themselves in the bedroom mirror, self reflecting on how they got themselves in this position, for longer than either of them would care to admit. But Eddie would do anything for Penny and he knew you would get a crack out of seeing him like this.

  Argyle was too high (it was a perpetual thing at this point, he’d been stuck in a high since back in high school) to care, although he’d wanted his ponytails braided and Penny wouldn’t allow it.

  “I think you’re something,” You offered through your giggles and Eddie chuckled along with you, stopping only when a flash of bright light momentarily lit up the room and blinded him. 

  Eden lowered the Polaroid camera she’d retrieved from your room, plucking the picture that whirled out. 

  She shook it briefly and examined the developing photo with a careful eye before she smirked. 

  “Oh, this is a good one. I gotta make a copy of this for Nance.” 

  Jonathan stood up then, kind of. His butt was still stuck in the tiny chair so it went with him. “Eden, give me the photo.”

  Eden took that as her cue to take another one, cackling as she grabbed the film. 

  Jonathan began to advance. 

  “Eden—I mean it, give me the pictures—EDEN!” He shouted as she bolted out of the front door. He ran (as best as he could with a tiny chair attached to his ass) after her with Argyle following him to play instigator. 

  “Run, baby, run!” Then when he realized he’d be in both pictures as well, “GET HER, JONATHAN!”

  Eddie was howling with laughter, causing Penny to join in even though she hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on. Once he calmed down, he stood up from his chair, pulling the thing off of his hips, he moved it to the side and sat on the carpet, patting the spot between his legs to beckon you over. 

  You set your bag on the counter and went over to join them, settling between his legs as you leaned back into his chest with his encouragement for cuddles. Eddie pressed a kiss to your forehead, no doubt leaving a kiss stain as Penny set a little tea cup on a plastic plate down in front of you.

  “He’we you go, mama.” 

  “Oh, thank you, Penny!” You lifted the teacup by its tiny handle and pretended to take a sip. “That’s very good!”

  “Yes,” she stated, pleased and already distracted with arranging her stuffed animals in their seats.

  “Long day?” Eddie asked, mumbling against the side of your head as he continued to press kisses wherever his lips could reach. He’d clocked the lingering bits of tension and stress on you the moment you’d walked into the trailer, he also swore he had a sixth sense tied to you somehow, because he could always tell when something was wrong. He’d get bouts of anxiety at work and come home to find out you’d had a terrible day, so he’d taken to just calling you when the feeling popped up. 

  He hadn’t been wrong yet.

  “Yeah,” You sighed, turning onto your side as you burrowed further into Eddie and the soft shirt he wore. “It’s better now, though.”

  He hummed as you lifted your head, lips puckered.  With a grin, he closed the small distance, giving you your ‘welcome home’ kiss.

  “Awww!”

  You broke away, the two of you smiling as your attention was drawn to your daughter, who looked shy and had a small smile of her own as she wrung her little hands together.

  “You kissed.” 

  Eddie chuckled, chest shaking against you. 

  “We’ve kissed before, baby.” He pointed out. She’d witnessed you exchange thousands of (appropriate) kisses in front of her but lately she’d been cooing every time Eddie showed you affection. You thought she may like seeing you two love each other like the couples in the cartoons she watched.

  “Yes.” She giggled into her little palms, shoulders rising as she became even more bashful.

  You shook your head in amusement, raising a hand to rest your chin in, thumb absentmindedly stroking over your lower lip. You were surprised to see a shade of red over the skin of your thumb, considering you’d worn a nude shade of lipstick.

  Oh. Eddie’s lipstick. Right.

  Then you got to thinking about it, the gears in your head turning as your eyebrows furrowed. 

  “Eddie?”

  “Yes?” 

  “Where’d you get this makeup?”

  Eddie and Penny exchanged nervous glances and there was a long pause in between your question and his answer, deciding to try to get out of this like his daughter often tried to.

  “Yes.”

  “Eddie, is this my makeup?!”

  “Baby, I have to go pee, can you move real quick?”

  “You’re not getting away, answer the question!”

  Yes. It was your makeup.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

(X men Evolution) Platonic Yandere Trio Wanda, Quicksilver and Magneto and Magneto's youngest child reader from a one night stand who has Technopathy and who's mom was killed protecting her from anti mutant groups and the social worker contacted Magneto because his name is in the birth certificate and asked him if he wanted custody of them.

Ooooo! Thank you for specifying which X-Men media you wanted! (But I only do gender neutral Readers, okay?) I'll see what I can do:

It was hard, not having your mom around anymore.

She died protecting you, doing everything in her power to keep you safe, to let you have a chance at a normal childhood, and how was she repayed? The people of your old town killed her. They had meant to kill you, but she took the bullet for you. You were lucky to be alive, lucky to have been moved to a safe place...

But...

Now you were moving in with someone you'd never met before.

He was supposedly your dad. Or at least who your mom claimed was. She'd never really mentioned him before, save when she needed to give you hope for a better future, when you'd be safe to use your powers and not be attacked for it.

His name was supposedly Magnus, and it turned out he had two other kids: Wanda and Pietro, twins.

They hadn't been mean or jealous (what was there to be jealous about? you're a younger sibling with trauma), but they did act... stange? In a way. Always hovering nearby, trying to keep the other Brotherhood teens from being near you or talking with you.

You think your first bonding moment with them was when you and the group had gone to an arcade for fun. The machines hummed with life, with energy... And you had just the game you enjoyed just waiting to be played.

The claw machine.

The poor thing hadn't been able to give a reward for all the money it was given, but you were just the person to make it right. With a few quarters, and a quick snap of electricity, you had the machine buzzing with your commands. The first stuffed animal was a hummingbird, with bright blue wings and a white stomach. The second was an owl with bright red eyes. Soon to follow were more and more little animals, until the entire plushie receptacle was filled to the brim with your rewards.

You shocked the poor guy behind the ticket counter, who looked tired and flabbergasted. And it seemed you'd surprised your siblings, too...

"Take it. They look like you," you pushed as you shoved the two birds into their arms. You'd already packed the rest of the stuffies into large plastic bags, hopefully to send to the local children's hospital.

"How does this look like me?" Pietro asked, looking over the hummingbird in blurred movements. "Couldn't it have been, like, a falcon, or something?"

"... Why an owl?" Wanda asks.

"You're fast and can perform any trick in the book. So can hummingbirds! Can you see a falcon flying backwards? Also, an owl because you've got the whole witch aesthetic, and it looks like you! It even has black and red feathers!"

"... Tch... Fine..."

"... It will be my familiar..."

"Yay! Now, let's go give the others their's!"

"Wait, you got them some too?!"

After that, the twins were just-

Everywhere.

And if they couldn't be there, one of the other Brotherhood teens was instead. It only became a problem when someone tried to bully you.

Safe to say...

"Mess with them again and you won't live to make the same mistake again!"

"Let's see how well you do in basketball now, loser!"

The guy who'd try to pick on you now earned the full ire of Wanda AND Pietro, who made his life h*ll. And what those two decreed, the others followed.

People left you alone after that.

Of course, when you wanted to hide from everyone or hide your tracks...

You messed with the computers and lights.

"Ah man, I can't see like this!"

"Is it a power outage?"

"Someone get the janitor!"

Being in control of technology was pretty awesome.

It wasn't so fun when your dad found out.

"Reader... perhaps you would like to join my Acolytes? We would have much need of your mutation."

You took one look at the people your... dad, had on his elite team... And decided:

"Um... I'm good, sir..."

"Very well... And you may call me 'father'."

"Erm... okay... Father..."

What you didn't see happening in the shadows was your father having his Acolytes preparing a space for you anyway, so one day you could be with them. What you didn't see was Wanda giving nightmares and accidents to your bully, sending them into a chaotic spiral. What you didn't see was Pietro following you wherever you went, spying from as far or near as he liked, and telling Wanda and Magneto everything he saw.

You may have thought you were being given some control, but in honesty... That control was only an illusion.

If you ever tried to leave or go to the X-Men, you'd just find yourself kept captive, bound in metal chains where no one would ever find you, save for your loving family... They wouldn't risk losing their little technopath, the one member of their small family who can temper their personalities... So don't try to run, or they'll cut off any small control you have for good.

[softpine]

I'm still thinking about your characters and what their valentines day would look like currently where your story is so can I ask what everyone would be doing? I imagine Austin bringing flowers to Elaine and she loses it. Would Matt text Stevie? Mickaela and Dan pegging. Casper and Coco 👀????? Alisa messing with Jada. Stevie maybes annoying KD asking her what she's doing for v-day

omg i'm sorry my answer is so late 😭 if this were just a normal valentine's day and nothing life-threatening was happening to anyone, then what you said is exactly how everyone would be spending it ;-;

stevie annoying KD on valentine's day is sooooo true oh my god i can only imagine how insufferable she would be. she would bake a bunch of cookies and bring them into work like "here's a cookie for you! and here's a cookie for your...... partner? 🤨 and here's a cookie for your..... child? 👀 and here's a cookie for your..... other child? 🤔 just tell me when to stop. here's a cookie for your... dog? 🧐 here's a cookie for...."

coco is BOOKED for valentine's day. sorry to anyone who wishes they could make plans with her, she goes all out for this!! not even for monetary gain (it's actually a pretty slow day for sw), it's just always been her favorite holiday and she loves the decorations & outfits. although this would be the first time she's been 100% single since she was a teenager, so that would be tough, but that's all the more reason to throw herself into her work. casper is not part of this equation, he's going on a failed tinder date and making his mom sad because she was sure this would be the one sjkfjsd

definitely agree about austin buying elaine flowers, but really all elaine wants is a heartfelt card attached to them 🥺 she also organizes galentine's day (asa counts as an honorary gal) every year 💖

matt would fumble his way into some awkward misunderstanding with stevie, probably involving another goddamn stuffed animal fjskjfsd

jada would literally call off work on valentine's day. she is NOT emotionally prepared for whatever hell alisa would bestow upon her 😭 and since her dad is dating again she'd probably be alone but that's perfectly fine with her. a moment of peace is better than a valentine

finn would do something so sappy for valentine's day if here were here ughhhhh :( he'd have to step it up since he's already given asa flowers a few times and of course the unbeatable gift that was the antlers... the greatest gift asa could give to finn would be to chill the fuck out and not break the universe for one singular day lol

caroline starts getting cynical about love around valentine's day because so many people come into her shop asking for their bf/gfs name tattooed and she has to turn them away because she's not going to be complicit in bad decisions (DON'T ask her what tattoo she had covered up on her back 👿) but then she comes home and beth cooks dinner for her and lights one of their good candles and she believes in love again 😌

and we must not forget mikaela/danny pegging, as if they ever need a reason lmao. they're doing some convoluted roleplay that only they understand, making good use of their repertoire of spirit halloween costumes

[starstruckpurpledragon]

Tagged by @icedteaandoldlace for the 15 Mutuals, 15 Questions meme

Are you named after anyone? My name is a family name on my mom's side, though specifically I'm named after my mom's favorite cousin. Different spellings, though. I absolutely adored her growing up and I missed her very much when she moved away.

When was the last time you cried? Given the wasps in my house and the ongoing renovation work... yesterday, late last night. Stress crying sucks and makes me more stressed because I can't really control it. That said, I feel a lot better about things today.

Do you have kids? Nope, but I have a nephew. Very adorable. Recently got a new stuffed animal during a trip to a cave. A bat, named Bat-Bat. His dad keeps hoping to convince him to go with Bruce instead. :D

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes and no. It's situational, really. Who I'm with and what their tolerance for sarcasm is and what my mood is at the time.

What sports do you play/have you played? I played soccer and softball in elementary school. I was much better at soccer than softball but I didn't really enjoy it at the time.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? How they treat other people. I kinda suspect I'm a little face-blind so what people say and do make a bigger impression on me than physical appearance.

What’s your eye color? Green, except when they're blue

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings

Any special talents? Fanfic writing. :D But I can also do some pretty silly muppet voices, all the better to entertain my nephew with. Or do impressions of Golem from LoTR with.

Where were you born? A hospital in Kentucky, of the blue grass and the fast horsies.

What are your hobbies? Aside from writing fanfic, there's playing video games and whatever fun craft has most recently caught my attention. Sometimes paint by number, cross stitch, etc... and when my piano isn't blocked in by boxes (thanks, reno) I'll play that.

Do you have pets? I have a dog named Estelle. She's a terrier and minpin mix who loves snuggles, snacks, and chasing squirrels.

How tall are you? About 5'8"

Favorite subject in school? English class, though my computer science courses were a close second.

Dream job? I wanted to be an author as a kid, which I kind of feel like I've fulfilled by writing fanfic. I am a software engineer, which I do really enjoy... but I think dream job would really have to be librarian. A school librarian, perhaps.

Tagging @goldheartedchaoticdisaster, @fezwearingjellybananas, @shrinkthisviolet, @vexic929, @incorrectcoldflashblog, @gender-luster, @a-redharlequin, @ageless-aislynn, @terrie01, @hawkstincan, @stars-are-just-ghosts, @autisticharrywells, @violetteatime, @sophiainspace, @bottom-of-the-riverbed

[jovialtorchlight]

AS YOU ONCE WERE

A short play by Jonny Bolduc

Characters:

VOICE: You, in a dream.

YOU. You, as you are.

CHILD: You, are you once were. 

---------------------------------------

VOICE:

The door flies open.

YOU:

Damn. This is it. The house I grew up in. The blue armchair in the living room, the hardwood floor, the desk by the window. I remember every divot in the carpet. Can I…go into my room?

VOICE O.S:

It’s your dream. You can do whatever you want. But there’s something you should know. The junk drawer, the one that squeaked really loud every time it opened and annoyed the shit out of dad is stuffed full of handwritten apology notes.

YOU:

Apology notes? To who?

VOICE: 

I’ll tell you in a moment. But get this. The hamster you buried in the backyard in 2005  is scurrying across  the kitchen countertops. Fresh sheets,  still hot from the dryer are parachuted  on the bed. Sims 2 is loaded up on the  white brick computer.

YOU:

Holy shit. Can..can I stay here?

VOICE:

No. 

YOU:

Oh. 

VOICE: 

Tell me something.

How are your days? How have you been living?

YOU:

I haven’t. I haven’t really been living. I have given myself to the flow of

the days that do not  understand  mercy or  what it means  to cry “uncle”. I have burned this house in my mind. I have razed this memory to the ground. I have tried to end my life twice.

VOICE. O.S:

Huh. Interesting. You know, I think someone here might be able to help you. 

Come on in.

A CHILD enters, clad in a baseball cap. 

CHILD:

Hi.

YOU:

Hi. Are you��?

CHILD: 

You?  Yeah, I am. 

YOU:

Me. As a..kid?

CHILD:

As a ten year old. 

YOU:

Woah. 

CHILD:

Yeah!

YOU:

So. I was, uh, wondering something. 

CHILD:

Whatsup? 

YOU:

Can I stay here?

CHILD:

I don’t think so. Why? Is the future not good? I mean, are we not happy?

YOU:

No. We’re…not.

CHILD:

Why not? What’s wrong? Are we not a famous writer? 

YOU:

No. And look, it’s just…time hasn’t been kind to us. Time has taken and taken and taken and we’ve been battered by the unrelenting force of the days. The terror of the nights. 

It’s like every day, another heavy stone is dropped onto my chest. I just…I can’t take it anymore. 

I gave up. 

On life.

CHILD:

You gave up on us? What? How could you? 

Why?  Is there nothing else to learn? No books to read? No time to go look into the water of a pond and see the water teeming with tadpoles and triops and waterbeds and life? No good video games? No time to give  mom a hug? 

What could be so bad that you would want to do that? I mean, things can be dark and scary and bad, right now.  The  dark corner of the  basement where  I saw a ghost.  The terrible roar of  the furnace echoing in the dark. When I get real trapped in my thoughts and my chest gets tight and I get sweaty and panic. When I get sad for no reason and want to get lost in the woods and never come back to school. But I keep going. 

You’re telling me…we aren’t worth it?  

YOU:

I’m so sorry. 

I’ve tried to get better. To get help. But every fucking day—

CHILD:

That’s a bad word. 

YOU:

I’m sorry. Every day is full of stress and terror and failing. I just…I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I can’t get better. I’ve tried so many times and I keep falling back down into this pit of black. 

CHILD:

Look. It's okay. Want to play Animal Crossing? That always makes me feel better when I'm sad. Or we could look for frogs at the grassy edge of the retention pond. 

YOU:

I would love to. But do we have time? 

CHILD:

Of course we have time.  Obviously, you can’t stay here forever. But you can find someone like me. A kid who needs what we needed when we were younger. And if you help, if you make things better…some of the sadness will go away.

 I can’t stay here forever, either. I’m gone. I’m a part of you, now. But we can do this. We can find the light again. We can feel safe. 

We can do it together.

YOU:

I’m so sorry.

CHILD:

It’s ok. 

Want to play Super Smash Brothers?

YOU:

Absolutely. 

I’m going to beat you. 

CHILD:

No way!

Grabs cap off of CHILD’s head. CHILD reaches for it, and they run off, laughing. 

END

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 13

Chapter 13: “Traitor, Part 3”

Yes yes, bravo Norman. Very clever plan that would’ve fooled me as well, though I’m surprised Ray didn’t at least go check the first two locations, but I suppose he was just feeling that confident.

Of course it’s an unfair advantage to the anime for how it handled Ray’s laugh, since we can actually hear him (& i very much prefer said laugh in dub), but also because it’s just a better shot of his madness. The panel doesn’t show us much.

I know I always give credit to Isabella for raising such high grade merchandise (& yes i still hate how that sounds too) but is it fair for me to praise Ray as well? Surely he helped behind the scenes (if only just a tiny bit) in very casual and unsuspecting ways to both mom and the children, and I mean that like not only helping Emma & Norman slowly realize the secrets of the farm but perhaps assist with the other kids by improving their scores and their daily lives.

Sure he put all his efforts to just help Emma & Norman but we now know from ch181.5 that his initial plan was to save everyone. And granted, he’s the reason for some shipments due to tests involving breaking trackers, but he’s doing his best okay?

You dunno how badly I wished they would’ve had Ray just say “Yeah” again. I know it wouldn’t be true if he answered that way, but it would be funny. To me.

Alright, please have mercy on me Norman fans, but I think I finally realized the reason I’m not the biggest fan of your precious genius.. and that is because he was so ready to just use Ray and leave him behind. Ray. One of his very best friends. The boy who has been living in a hellish reality for the past six years, doing everything he possibly can in order to give Norman & Emma a chance to escape and survive at the cost of his own life. And Norman just decides.. nah, thanks but no thanks, traitor, we don’t actually need you.. like excuse me?

There’s many characters in this series who are ready to sacrifice everything (i.e. their own lives.. or memories) for the sake of others and then there’s Norman here who’s willing to sacrifice someone else (who he is very close to) for his own benefit. Yes I know Isabella basically does the same thing by raising the children to be essentially perfect meals in order protect her own life, but it just.. feels different to me. Probably because the latter is written as a fabulous villain who we’re supposed to dislike and the former is one of our main heroes we’re supposed to root for? But how can I cheer for him when said hero is trying to abandon another hero of the story? Granted, Norman didn’t know Ray was working as a double agent at first, but the fact he was so willing to ditch Ray at the drop of a hat just never sat well with me. But thank god for his chat with our literal sunshine child with a heart of gold before this scene even took place:

“I’d take that person with us. Because if we escape, that person’s life might not be guaranteed anymore. Also.. I want to believe in us. The thing with Gilda made me realize that. Ray told me to suspect everyone. And if he says that I couldn’t see through mom’s lies, I don’t have a comeback. But even if there is a traitor who is an agent of the demons, there’s no one among our siblings who is truly bad...(continued below)”

If it wasn’t for Emma and her optimism and devotion to her family, I firmly believe Norman would’ve kept quiet to use Ray and eventually abandon him, if given the chance. So thank you best girl for saving my boy’s life way before the escape even happened.

This cute flashback conflicts with the anime as ep1 did have Conny carry Little Bunny to the front door (it disappears after, somewhere), but the manga doesn’t show the stuffed animal in her hands at all, so this little memory makes sense in the manga’s case.

I believe this conversation happens somewhere during the events of chapters 10 & 11, between more tag practice and the library meetup with Don & Gilda, as we do see her carry a kid around in ep4 at least.

Favorite panel/moment:

He just looks so.. chill and unbothered, despite the situation. Ray’s just real intrigued that Norman figured him out so efficiently.

[mcalhenwrites]

Trigger warning for people being dumb shits about animals they claim to love!!!

Me: "Never tell me about your fucked up family, they're awful" My mom: *ignores this EVERY FUCKING TIME* My mom: *tells me about a stray dog that was cute while she was at her mom's, tells me they gave it water and called animal control* My mom: "But my sister wanted to give it stuffing as food, I stopped her! So she gave it tuna noodle she'd made for lunch instead. That's not so bad!" Me: "Did that tuna noodle have cream of mushroom in it? Because high salt content just like the stuffing, flour just like the stuffing, and mushrooms are toxic to dogs." My mom: "Oh no!" Me: "She literally could have given it some of the cat's food and it would've been better off." My mom: "I was just trying to tell you about a cute dog and now you're upset." YES?! OF COURSE I AM?! YOU HAVE GOOGLE ON YOUR PHONE HOLY FUCK WHY ARE YOU "DOG" PEOPLE WHO FEED DOGS PEOPLE FOOD!!!! FUCK YOU!!! Same family where my fortunately-fucking-dead-as-shit grandfather fed his dog grapes, when told they were toxic, mocked the idea and kept feeding his dog grapes btw stuffing also has onions, so you have flour, onions, salt or flour, mushrooms, salt (edit: also added cow's milk, which is not appropriate for pets!) My mom has been around when I've specifically tried to keep my cats away from my plates bc I eat mushrooms and I've SAID mushrooms are toxic. She says she forgot it had cream of mushroom in there to stop her sister, but like??? I DON'T CARE??? I mean, I do, but I don't care that you think people food is a solution bc that's NOT GOOD EVER FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AHHHHH also it was friendly enough to approach, why didn't you try to contain it, it ran off so who knows if animal control will reach it... or pump the poor baby's stomach in time, tbh EDIT: I trained my dog not to approach me when I'm even eating people food. I trained my dog to leave people food alone, but even with him never going after that bag of chips I accidentally left on the table or whatever, I still don't RELY on that. (That was an accident and I'm still beating myself up for leaving them, and ETERNALLY grateful he ignored them. But it could've spelt his death.) I give Alvin (dog) bits of watermelon or canteloupe in TINY portions, sometimes even banana. I have also given him a little nibble of lean steak or chicken without seasonings, at a separate time from when I'm eating. I've given Mercedes bits of chicken and tiny nibbles of tuna or shrimp. (I bake unseasoned chicken breast and fed that to all the animals sometimes over a couple of days, just given them a few little shreds depending on their size.) But those are things DOGS AND CATS CAN EAT AND I TELL MY VET ABOUT IT TOO

[anathemacore]

in 2017 my mom got pregnant and i was thrust into depression like i had never experienced before and that's when i first started actively wanting to die.

in 2018 my sister was born in the spring and i was constantly punished for my frighteningly severe anxiety that caused me to have insomnia and get a stomach ache whenever i ingested anything because my parents decided that it was an attitude problem. they told me i wasn't allowed to confide in anyone or tell anyone my feelings or how i was doing and that i had to come to them of i wanted to do any of that. i was thrust into the most crushing obsession with a person i had ever had then and nothing really has matched it since. my parents staged several interventions because my drawings were "too dark" (they were very tame for someone who grew up in a kjv only household and was watched R rates movies starting at 13 years old). they looked through all of my belongings and read all of my journals and i was none the wiser because it was not a thought in my mind to feel violated. i was their property after all.

in 2019 i finally broke free of the debilitating mind encompassing infatuation, only to fall into another one which was not as bad technically but hurt exponentially worse when it also ended. i got to go to the closest thing i'd ever get to a public school. i lost my best friend to her boyfriend and my mom had convinced me to gaslight myself into being the perfect cheerful daughter who wore colours that she wanted me to be.

in 2020 i made two friends, and after i spent the day with the one i was closer with on the day school closed down she never talked to me again and i never knew why, so i clung to the other one for dear life and accidentally?? fell in love with her. i also went from wanting to die and passively thinking about suicide to wanting to kill myself and actively thinking about how. of course i put this on her. i didn't know what else to do and she was all i had. i honestly have no idea when my parents found the time to raid my room and read anything and everything in it as often as it seemed considering how up to date they apparently were at any given time. so my mom got me a therapist against my dads adamant objection, verbatim she said she was "disobeying him". the therapist was basically useless but she said to go to the er if things escalated. and so they did, in not very much time. i spent several months being abused by clowns cosplaying as "mental health professionals" so that the last thing i would ever want to do for the rest of my life is reach out for help.

in 2021 my friend was slowly catching on to how i felt about her and distancing herself. she said she felt used because of how often i went to her for emotional support and i cried so hard i got a migraine and slept for an entire day and thought that maybe my stuffed animals and blankets were also sick of me and didn't love me anymore. my parents fought all the time and i wished they would just split up already, and they finally did. me and my mom and my sister got an apartment and for a second i felt like my life was finally okay. then i officially stopped talking to my friend while i had been making some online ones, and my mom got a cat even though i expressly told her i didn't want one. it caused me to have ocd meltdowns so i never left my room.

in 2022 this made her mad at me because she insisted that me being in the only place i felt safe in all the time was unhealthy. at the height she invaded it and slept in my room and threatened to take my door off. among this my therapist of over a year decided to abandon me because i "wasn't trying hard enough". mad that her being insane didn't magically make me well adjusted and not mentally ill, my mom kicked me out at age 17 because me having problems was "too stressful" for her. completely heartbroken after years of her insisting that she loved me while doing everything someone who does not love me would do, the illusion of my mom being loving or caring in any way that a mom should was shattered. i starting living with my grandparents. in spring i went to the hospital again and while not nearly as abusive as the other one it was nevertheless insanely traumatizing. i got a third utterly useless therapist, turned 18, and finally got a driver's license.

in 2023 i had a short lived relationship with someone who thought they wanted a romantic partner but actually wanted a sugar momma fuck buddy. forum drama caused me to make a cut deep enough to sever an artery and i got stitches for the first time (there had been other less deep cuts in the past that er doctors had said should've gotten stitches had i come in sooner and this one they also had said they wished i'd come in sooner but it happened at night and i insisted on coming into work the next morning, and ultimately i went to the hospital because my best internet friend insisted). a week later i was admitted to psych and was mocked and made fun of by the doctor and treated like a subhuman criminal for being a mentally ill adult, and swore that i'd never again allow myself to be admitted to psych, voluntarily or otherwise. said internet best friend (my moms age so in their 30s) then decided to take it upon themselves to attack me (18 years of age) for breaking up with my girlfriend, and tried gaslighting me into believing that i was in the wrong even though they had never met my girlfriend and knew absolutely nothing about her.between the stitches and the breakup i also rolled my car into either a shallow ravine or a very very deep ditch and totalled it and got a concussion and a huge hematoma. all the nurses at the er were like why the fuck wasn't an ambulance called (only a policeman was called and he didn't give two shits about the fact that i had just hit my head on the ceiling of my completely trashed car). i had hung out with my uncle and ended up telling him that my dad molested me because i wanted him to understand where i'm coming from because he thought i was being too harsh on my feelings about him. that was a stupid thing to do because my uncle is known for being a blabber mouth so he told everyone what i said, effectively demonizing me to the entire family (basically all of which i wasn't talking to anyways). my mom who had gotten back with my dad and decided to have another baby with him came after me saying that i was making him look bad, and also dropped the bomb on me that HIS dad was a registered sex offender for molesting my aunt. i was enraged as i had just seen him at my sister's 5th birthday party not a week before and he had very present in my life since i was very young. she stood by her decision to kick me out, her rebuttal to me saying it was illegal being "well you going out past curfew was also illegal". i effectively cut her off until further notice. then i went to la which was amazing and wonderful and perfect except that within hours of being there i lost my stuffed animal that i had taken with me everywhere every single day for the past eight or so years. it was very well established i simply could not live without him. effectively, the only "person" who i had ever felt loved by and the only one who had been there for me through everything (or anything lets be honest) had just died, on the trip of my dreams. needless to say it overshadowed the whole thing and while of course i made the most out of the trip, but thinking back on it and reminders of it is incredibly triggering and bittersweet. leading up to this my job became more and more difficult for me (both because of the work and my obnoxious coworkers) and i was burning out hard and fast. i worked ten hour shifts and i never had the energy to do literally anything after work. i ran myself straight into the ground with record force. a couple weeks after my trip in the wake of everything in the middle of my shift i simple couldn't bring myself to work another fucking second, i was dead. i cleaned up my station, told the lead i had to go, left a message for the supervisor (because i worked weekends), and left and never came back. i still mourn that job and the coworkers that weren't horrible. in theory it was a perfect job, but in reality i physically couldn't do it and i could only force myself for so long. i really don't enjoy being a disabled person who can't have an income.

this year has been mostly uneventful except for my last ditch effort to get help, which resulted in the therapist saying that i need a higher level of trauma care than she can provide despite being a trauma specialist, and handed me a flyer for a place identical to the hospitals i had been to that cause me to have a panic attack whenever i'm in a medical or medical adjacent environment for too long, and a note that said too look for therapists on psychology.com (which my grandma has already been doing for years at this point).

i say all this to say, when will i get a fucking break.

[kaleuh]

Day 61: One of your most prized possessions

Nowadays I really hate having so much stuff. I hate stuff! I want to have a yard sale or something when I finally move. I always loved the idea of a yard sale. My mom never did one though because she didn't like the idea of strangers coming to our house. This eventual house'll be mine though so I can invite the whole county to come and shop around if I want!!

Anyway. Prized possessions. I have a few things I adore: My Undertale Collector's Edition set, complete with the locket that plays His Theme. My copy of Don Bluth's autobiography Somewhere Out There: My Animated Life, the Claddagh ring that my Grandma gave to me (it doesn't fit but I'd love to get it fitted one day. Especially since I'm a taken Irish woman now!), my VTech Talking Whiz Kid Genius computer (also known as the only good collection of games ever made), my stuffed animals Neon, Jelly, Flitter and Float.

I think I'm gonna go with my professional print-out of the Who Framed Roger Rabbit? script. Kerri got it for me a few years ago, and it's signed by the whole cast (printed, of course. If they were real that script would be worth thousands.) Even though it's a print out, I consider it the most thoughtful gift ever given to me.

[multistoty]

@fallingpoppies​

Hope knew that she had scared Klaus slightly with her entrance which was why she had apologized originally. All the adults in her family seemed to be battle ready at the drop of the hat. She had cried for what felt like hours worrying about her dreams. The tribrid wasn’t exactly certain about who had taken her dad away for the last few years, but he had shown that he would keep her safe from all the bad things. It was easy for her to see that he thought himself some sort of monster. It was only that she knew better. No one who could love so fully could ever be truly evil. If he wanted to play villain, she would just have to follow and pull him back to the light. He was the moon glimmering at her lake and pulling the tide towards him. The auburn haired seven year old noticed absentmindedly that her drawing was slightly smooshed in her hands though her father never seemed to mind anything like that. The Mikealson witch felt like the most beautiful and talented person under the bright gaze of his vivid blue eyes that made hers their echo. The hour was late for sure. Elijah was usually walking the halls by now or talking with her dad. Maybe it was the unnatural silence that had truly unnerved the seven year old. Her two stuffed animals were pressed tightly in her hands as sweat made her pajamas stick to her skin. Sleep clouding her excited gaze as she took him in. She didn’t have to be told twice letting her bunny slippers find a home in the dark area next to his bed. Depositing her stuffed wolf and the rabbit Elijah had given her as a child like body guards on the bed between them. She never slept without them. Grandma mary had given her the wolf though hadn’t much liked it when she named it after her dad and insisted on hugging it every night until he returned. Then it just became another friend and picture of his love just as the bunny had been. She was still new to this situation with her dad and hadn’t wanted to overwhelm him or make him feel bad. She’d even tried to bother her mother instead but the door was locked and Elijah’s snores courted her. She knew that nothing would put her at ease until Klaus came into view. It was clear that he felt bad about missing things and she didn’t want to make that any worse. It had all been a boy overwhelming. The family had been her and her mom with ocassional entrances of Grandma Mary. It had doubled even tripled again since then. “I need you to lift me up. Unfortunately, I am still short. It’s a drawing of us wolves. We haven’t had many things in the farm house because we have been in hiding though you have even less. When mom said that she was coming back with you, I knew that you wouldn’t have any pictures of us either. So I made one. I’m not nearly as good as you, of course. It’s still scary sometimes. I know that we are hiding from someone and it’s why I have to wear my bracelet or mom had to leave me with grandma mary. I was smart enough to know those coffins must be the people who mom told stories about. Even uncle Elijah, I’m not sure if he likes me very much. He doesn’t really smile ever.  You will always be here. Always and forever? I know we aren’t supposed to hate people, but I hate them. I don’t think they knew how much I would love you.”

[sunsetsongwind]

O K

i will say extremely random things - I once told someone that i would fight death with a tin of sardines and a dried carnation and win

probably my mom. as i get older, i realize more and more that no one is perfect, including, her, but she is still definitely one of my role models.

hmmmmmmmmmm @rowynri hello

my cat is the Best Cat in the entire universe. her name is Solis and i love her

uhhhh red for ff14 do not ask me why red i will not have an answer for you

if you look up elpis flower, also from ff14, they sell those. currently i am broke but eventually i would love one of those

hmmmm embroidery

depends on the occasion - I'll put on like a nice outfit and earrings if i'm going out, and then how i dress at home depends on how pretty i want to feel on any given day.

Make up is an almost never thing, except maybe concealer if i have a Huge pimple

if i have watched a movie like that, i wouldn't know it - i tend to not keep track of the ratings of movies

working my way through the new season of RWBY, and also introducing my family to Journey to the West, Overly Sarcastic Productions style. Cannot recommend enough

Sword Art Online with my dad! he loves that show, and I'm pretty fond of it myself. also, what do you mean which one someone cannot only watch one anime anyway

music, yes - i mentioned embroidery, and i love dancing - like the spontaneous kind, where you hear music and just need to dance

literally daydream. reading, embroidery, and other things are also options (as are youtube and tumble of course) but when i can't do any of those, daydreaming it is

one, except when i have a cold like lately. Then, i use one of my stuffed animals to prop up my pillow so that i do not simply Perish to congestion

erggghhh i do have trouble sleeping a lot. i only remember dreams if a. they were crazy or b. i tell them to someone else pretty soon after waking up.

not actually sure what hyperfixation would feel like so not sure. uhhhh probably g'raha tia from ff14 again though

well that is actually a Story. so here's the thing. hard phone cases, the kind where you have a colored shell and then a rubberish inside, can come apart. you can pull off the shell and leave the rubber. So at one point i decided to paint my phone case like the sheikah slate from breath of the wild. it looked... kind of horrible. so after a while i decided to try and pick all of the paint off. this failed, and it actually ended with the shell of the phone case cracking to the point where i could not put it back on. so, my phone case is currently solid black and flexible, with flecks of brown paint.

Can You Hear The People Sing, from Le Miserables. So, despite not watching a lot of One Piece, I am still a fan. a large part of this is due to This Bites by Xomniac, which you can find on AO3 or FF.net. It is So Good, and during a later part of the story (i don't want to spoil, sorry) that song is used as an anthem, and while I haven't seen Le Miserables, I'm pretty sure this is how it was intended to be used, and it was absolutely amazing. Just... so cool.

i made oatmeal raisin cookies! it has been good!

not a dream

Hey everyone, I've thought about some cute questions for you to answer so here they go, leave the answers in the replies or reblogs and tag people who you want to answer said questions as well. You don't have to answer all of the questions, no pressure, answer the ones you like if that's easier for you!

What's one thing that your friends say that applies to you? Like a quirk or something they know you for? Something they associate with you always?

Who inspires you in your life? I don't mean a celebrity, but a person you know, brag about someone incredible that is your inspiration.

Who do you consider to be your favorite person and why?

What's your favorite kind of animal? If you lived with said animal, what would you name them? If you have said animal, what is their name?

What color is your most recent obsession?

What's a little decor item that you want to own in the future?

Do you have any mundane but cute "talent"/thing you can do? Something just slightly unusual but also completely usual?

Do you like fashion? What kind of a dresser are you? More casual? Fancy?

Do you wear makeup? What's your go-to makeup look? If you don't wear makeup, have you ever thought of wearing it?

Recommend us one movie that the critics/public didn't like that much when it came out but you personally think is a hidden gem!

What show are you watching right now? Recommend it to us!

Have you ever watched an anime? If yes, which one?

What's your favorite kind of art medium? Recommend us an artist or show us an art piece (could be music, painting, crochet, whatever) that you really love!

What do you like to do when you are bored?

How many pillows do you sleep with, if any?

Do you have trouble with sleeping? Do you remember your dreams a lot or forget them as soon as you wake up?

Who is one cool character in something you've seen in your life that you hyperfocused on at a time in your life.

Show us your current phone case!

Recommend people a song that has meant a lot to you sometime in your life and share us the story about if you'd like.

How has your day been so far?

UwU - I love you!

[fitgothgirl]

Been a little MIA on here the last week or two. I accidentally found out that I had lost about 15% of my followers in the last 2-3 months, and I’m not “tumblr famous” by any means to begin with lol (for reference, I’ve had this blog for like 9 years). I don’t normally pay attention to that number at all and the way I “accidentally” found out is complicated but it is what it is. That nosedive correlates with when I started working out more and posting more personal posts again. I also had never been a really a selfie person on here even when I had been more active in the past, but I had been trying to show my face more often too. So that was a super fun realization.

I try to not let strangers on the internet make me feel bad, but I can’t deny it didn’t catch me off guard and hurt. Just came up at a hard time when I’m already dealing with feelings of rejection and inadequacy for other reasons. So I just pulled away inadvertently from feeling a little burned. And honestly regardless of the reason, that’s always a beneficial thing to do with social media.

But if you’re reading this, you’re here and I appreciate you ^_^ And yet, this is also a good reminder that I’m here for me and because I want to be.

Anyway, I’m not doing too great because of other reasons. Today was a hard day in particular. I had just started therapy about a week and a half ago finally, after wanting to but it falling through for one reason or another over the last year or so. But I saw my claim was processed as out-of-network with my insurance. I called them today to check because I thought I had been told they were in-network. The rep said the clinic was contracted with them, but not my specific plan, so it was processed as out-of-network, and I owe like $200 instead of $50. And that was just for the intake appointment, where we didn’t even get into treatment. I can hardly afford my $50 copay for in-network as it is. So I can’t go back there and cancelled my next appointment. Back to not having therapy. It was a punch in the gut. I just want to get some fucking help without paying hundreds of dollars that I don’t have.

One thing that we did touch on in that one appointment was that I probably need to talk to my psychiatrist because even though I’m on meds, it’s still a really low dose for what is normally effective for depression, and obviously I’m not doing well. So I went to make an appointment today with my telehealth doctor that I’ve been seeing once every three months (which also costs me like $120, but it’s only once in a long while at least), and low and behold, he’s not with the service anymore! I can schedule with someone else, but it’s just another obstacle. It would be no big deal for someone neurotypical, but I am not that.

These things all legitimately suck for someone who is struggling, but my sick brain is blowing them out of proportion on top of that of course. I’ve already not been doing so great the last couple weeks and I’m so fragile right now so this just sends me off the edge. It’s so hard to get myself to seek out help so when I do, it’s devastating and exhausting to have it be fruitless and to be turned in another direction. Even though I know the technical reasons why, in the back of my mind is the childish reaction of “why will no one help me, I just want help.”

And as much as I desperately want help from a professional, which is a good person to get help from for my array of issues, I can’t get myself to bring up anything with my bf or friends. I feel like such a burden and a broken record at this point. But since I’m not even talking to a therapist let alone loved ones, it’s all just staying bottled up. But I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t know what I need or where to start. I’m so overwhelmed by the layers or web of issues, I can’t even put it into words. I feel like I’m drowning. 

I grabbed an old stuffed animal from my closet that I haven’t slept with in years and I’m sleeping with him tonight. I need the comfort, I feel so alone.

[obeymycok]

Trampoline Madness

As stated before, I work at a trampoline park and obviously we see all different types of people everyday. I had work again yesterday and for some reason my brain thought of "what would the brothers be doing if given unlimited access to an 'older kid's' playground?" Idk if this is funny to anyone else but I think it is. Especially if you've ever been to one of these parks because you've 100% seen all of these people. I’m writing most of them as kids and I will be including the dateables this time!

Taglist: @trashlord-007  @asmos-slut  @q-ueue  @simpinginthecorner  @thatoneweebdammit 

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Lucifer - Tired party mom

The one who tries their best to follow all the little shits they’re responsible for (they don’t do well)

Reads the rules ahead of time so workers don’t have to warn them

Might go a little Karen but quickly calms down and turns nice and understanding again

Always hearing his voice across the park and learning the names of the troublemakers 

God forbid a worker has to tell them their kid Mammon isn’t listening to instruction

The child is dead

Mammon - Literal hell spawn (12-14)

The reason I wanna quit

Disobeys all the rules even after you tell him repeatedly

Climbs all the mats, whips dodge balls, constantly double jumps people

Thinks he is an acrobat and nearly fucking dies

Needs his own worker assigned to him to keep some resemblance of sanity in the park

Tries to go on attractions without getting the right wristband (it’s like $6 more)

Harness hoarder, no you cannot go on the zip-line over and over again there are 15 kids waiting

Almost gets everyone kicked out

Leviathan - Awkward and adorable (8-10)

One of the reasons I haven’t quit

Sweet but very shy and quiet, probably carries a stuffed animal around

Usually close to Mom Lucifer or doing their own thing

Sits in the balls in the obstacle course of takes one of the foam cubes as a friend #companioncube

Ends up getting in trouble with Mammon and has a mini panic attack

Gets lost in the tube playground and cries until an adult rescues him

Tries rock wall with Beel and Mammon and needs to be rescued

Will get harnessed and clipped to the zip-line but will chicken out unless you go up with him and convince him to go then he’ll love it and go as many times as he can

Satan - The daredevil (7-9)

Frequent heart attack inducer 

Insane flips and tricks for his age (a child)

Occasionally breaks the rules but never repeats it if you tell him for the love of god do it nicely or he’ll be worse than Mammon

Asks questions about attractions and how they work, tells you if harness is too loose or tight, figures out to clip and unclip himself at rock walls

Tests the strength of the zip-line and rope course by launching himself

A menace in dodge ball, strong chance of losing his temper with someone like Mammon

Could literally slam into a wall, lose a tooth, get a concussion, and no tears will be shed

Asmodeus - The pretty princess (5-6)

Pretty loud, always in a group and gathering more people as the time goes on

Tends to be kinda bossy and show favoritism

Probably wearing a dress or skirt with shorts underneath to go on attractions (very difficult)

Both super sweet and bitchy, might compliment you but it’s very backhanded

“Your hair is cute but it should be...” “Your nails are gross, I can help you!” Please you’re making me cry

Starts walking around and talking to people while still attached to the rock wall

Plays dodge ball but cries if he gets hit 

Beelzebub - Absolute sweetheart (7-8)

The other reason I haven’t quit

An absolute joy to work with, so understanding if we’re understaffed or busy

Probably has a little sibling (Belphie) who he plays gently with, lets them win, does this with other kids too

He just carries a kid away if they’re continuously breaking a rule and gives them to the party mom (Lucifer)

The cutest small talk when he’s waiting in line or getting harnessed “I’m Beel and this is my brother Belphie. It’s my friend’s birthday today and also I like your hair.” ??😭??

Very patient, raises his hand for switching rock walls, helps other kids on the obstacle course

Asks to play dodge ball with the workers (If he wins he gets a free Slurpee)

Belphegor - Casual and pretty chill (7-8)

We have an understanding with each other

If you wanna break a rule that bad make sure I don’t catch you

Usually just follows his sibling around and stays out of trouble though, likes laying on the trampolines

Only talks when spoken to but not anxious or shy, just uninterested

Plays dead when he goes on the zip line

Just lays down when he wants to get off the rock wall until you walk over and unclip him

He figured out how to unclip, he just doesn’t

Becomes one with the foam and ball pits

Diavolo - Fun dad

Certified DILF, works out 8 days a week and still has time for the kids

Seems more excited than some of the kids as he drags them around to everything

NOT letting those little shits win, they must earn it

Frequent rule breaker but he’s just so excited and very sorry when you tell him

Definitely goes on everything with a harness required (zip line, rock wall, floating obstacle course)

Waits patiently to get harnessed while excitedly talking to the kids

Does not dare to unclip himself from a rock wall and stops kids who attempt it (Thank you so much, I’m the one who has to climb the wall and get the clip back if it’s not secured😩)

Barbatos - The professional

An ex Olympian/training to compete or something

100% has a membership and comes 3 times a week

Impresses all the kids (and workers)

Kids like Satan are drawn to him and he helps them with tricks

Enforces the rules if kids keep double jumping on the trampoline

He tells them about horrific injuries that he’s seen and scares the shit out of them but hey it works

Not much of an attraction guy, stays in the pro area for the majority

Simeon - Table watcher/video recorder

“You’re doing great sweetie!” holds his phone like a mom

Either recording his kid or sitting at the table guarding the stuff

Very pleasant, chats with other moms and workers

Usually follows all the rules and very apologetic if told otherwise

“I’m sorry, he can’t just sit in the ball pit because others wanna do the obstacle course.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, no problem hun, I understand.” 😩❤😩❤😩❤

Luke - Bossy kid (6-8)

Another little shit, usually the birthday kid

Ignorant to rules, obeys but gives a little attitude first

Tells all the workers it’s his birthday and tries to get favors (free ice cream, multiple zip line rides in a row, doing EVERY rock wall)

Tries to determine where everyone goes

“We have to go on the zip line Levi. Please? It’s my birthday🥺“

Literally the sweetest until he’s told no

Moms need to have a talk with him and then he’s much better behaved

Still uses birthday privilege to the MAX though

Solomon - Grandpa

The least problematic (ironic for Solomon)

The massage chair is his domain, he’s literally been in the same one for 2 hours now is he still alive?

Mans put like $40 into it and his present to Luke was 5 minutes in “his” chair

Can be persuaded into going on the zip line after his time runs out

Uses his phone to call one of the adults over to bring him food

Can’t really say much about this guy

He’s chill, out of the way, pretty funny, and relatable

[rowanmuppet]

To go with the penny and mischa headcanons could you do some for noel? I love your other ones smmm

Absolutely I can noel is literally my number one fav and he is rotating around my brain at all times like a microwave

- as a kid he ABSOLUTELY wore his mother's high heels/fancy dresses and had a little tea party on a regular basis with all his stuffed animals bc DUH. He would force his mom to participate but she loved it

- she would paint his nails as often as he asked her to and in whatever color he picked. She'd have a giant collection of colors/glitter/etc and some of his earliest/favorite memories would be of him sitting on her bed getting his nails done and watching reality tv or a devastating french film he's DEFINITELY too young to be seeing

- he is also a giant theater kid and is only in the choir because he was banned from being in the school's plays after the waiting for godot incident

- everyone loves "nischa where Mischa is oblivious to Noel's flirting" but in my heart and soul it's the other way around

- bro is clueless fr Mischa could literally walk up to him and say "I am in love with you noel gruber and I want to marry you" and he'd be like ha imagine. Obviously you'd never mean that though

- was definitely given makeup from his mother for a birthday or something and it's all subtle enough that he can wear it places without people REALLY noticing but he knows it's there (it's like, clear mascara and tinted chapstick but he definitely cried when he opened it)

- side note he definitely has one of the nicest moms out of everyone in the choir??? People hc that she's an alcoholic for some reason and it's like. Nah she's his number one biggest fan fr !!!! We would know if she was 💀

- she doesn't KNOW about Monique per se but she's definitely seen the outfit in his laundry and just never brought it up

- because I know for a fact he's had it in his closet for YEARS and wore it for funsies when he knew nobody was home. Definitely has the entire choreography of cell block tango PERFECTED

- even before he worked at taco bell he high key hated it and that was just amplified with all the shit he had to deal with at that job

- everyone else in the choir literally loves it and it annoys him to no end

- half of his texts with ocean are "hello!! How is my favorite member of the choir today 😄😄" "what do you want ocean" "Baja blast please" "okay."

- he loves ocean like a sibling your honor. They're literally mlm wlw hostility but in a best friends way

- ESPECIALLY AS KIDS when they were kids they were just best friends it was him ocean and constance. But then she beat him at duck duck goose and their relationship was never the same (this is canon to me)

- my favorite thing is making them all best friends with Constance even before the accident because of course they were

- she was the nicest girl in town!! I know her yearbook was signed with a bunch of meaningless "I never met you but you seemed nice" crap

- but my personal theory is that noel, ocean and constance were a lil trio in elementary school and then ocean and noel became mortal enemies (/hj) so they grew apart

- and that's why they're allowed to bully each other relentlessly bc they're basically siblings at this point

- titanic was one of his fav movies before he discovered french new wave cinema but he didn't cry much when he watched it (and if he did, it's because he was wishing a stranger he met on a cruise in the 20s would die for him the way jack did for rose)

[I don't know why I have titanic headcanons for basically every member of the choir I don't even like it THAT much???]

- also he insists there was no room for Jack on the door (he's right)

- he has a black cat named Lola. There isn't much to this hc but I just think it's objectively true.

- On the rare occasion the choir would hang out before the accident and the rarer occasion it was at Noel's house, Ricky would ignore everyone completely and make a beeline to the cat

- the first time Ricky came over he said "you have a cat, don't you?" And noel just kinda looked at him like ???? Before eventually saying "yes... But how did you know that?"

- he loves rain and thunderstorms from the comfort of his home but will literally not be caught DEAD stepping foot outside in it without an umbrella + rain boots + jacket because he doesn't want his clothes to get wet. And he's real for this

- speaking of noel and being dead (I am a god of segues), before he left for school the day of the accident he said these exact words to his mom: "farewell mother. I'm off to die in a tragic accident, don't wait up for me, for I will not return to you in this lifetime"

- this would have been a common way for him to say goodbye to her, and she would always roll her eyes and say "oh how will I go on without you! Surely the grief would be too much for me to bear! I shall stay up at night, clutching an article of your clothing as a single limpid tear rolls down my cheek" And then laugh and tell him to be safe

- and then he actually dies in a tragic accident

- oops #rip

- I don't know why, but imagining Noel's mother after the accident always made me so much sadder than the rest of the choir 😭 I just imagine that they were super duper close for basically his whole life

- also, despite yearning for this whole tragic life I feel like he's super squeamish?? He cannot stand the sight of blood or vomit

- maybe in his fantasy part of that is he can actually handle the things that end up happening in the movies he likes

- also I refuse to believe that their favorite rides aren't somewhat related to something that happened the day of the fair itself

- what I'm saying is basically he rode the ferris wheel with Mischa and almost lost his god damn mind

- it would have been so romantic if he knew his crush was probably mutual

- and finally. Nischa holding onto each other for dear life when things started going wrong and having to be pulled apart post mortem

Thank you for your time this is literally so long and I could come up with so many more