#oc: shai

[stenshale]

where i'm at with shai is i know she would be sooo much happier with sera. i think shes the first person to make her laugh in a long time. i think shai could probably see a life with her. but everyone in her life has been sand or glass. the former slips through her fingers and the latter will break if she holds it too hard. and more than anything she wants sera to be happy. so she doesn't mention it

[joy-jpg]

more shai. she lost her brother in the burning of halamshiral and lost her dad shortly after. the upper arm rope tattoo is for them, every other tattoo is for an ex-girlfriend

[chrismerle]

Hello! Just stopping by with a question about writing XD Do you have any characters who's role grew bigger than you expected? Any surprising changes your characters went through during the writing process?

hmmmm

I suppose Shai probably counts

originally, Shai was my first Fallen London character, but at this point there are two very similar but nevertheless distinct versions of Shai. because they are still a Fallen London character and I still write FL fanfic with them and my friends' FL characters, but I'm also (very ... very ... slowly) writing an original story in which they're a key character (and borrowing my friends' characters because I genuinely can't conceive of what Shai would be like without Daniel or Ari in their life). that on its own probably counts as their role growing bigger, but even within the original story itself, their role has grown.

initially, Shai was supposed to be ... I guess sort of an Easter egg? in Threshold. the group of hapless normies was going to stick together, and Ivan would be the one shepherding them back to safety and back to their world (Ivan has also changed a lot, considering he started as a sort of generic grizzly Manly Manpain Sad Man medieval fantasy roleplay character I occasionally used on Gaia Online). Shai would just be one of the contacts Ivan used to help facilitate that, mostly there for my friends to point at and go 'I know that dumpster fire!' and it was ... hard to write? I knew I wanted to include Shai, but Shai refused to be a footnote. one of the most entertaining things about writing Shai is that they suck up all of the oxygen in any space they enter because no one can ask if they're okay if there's no air left to do so but that also makes writing them a bit of a bitch sometimes. they refused to stay contained by the relatively small role I'd designated for them.

so next I tried swapping Shai's and Ivan's positions, making Shai the shepherd of hapless ducklings and Ivan the contact who helped them out at one point, but that also didn't feel right. Shai's not heartless generally speaking, and they can be incredibly (sometimes detrimentally) loyal and generous ... to people who they've decided have earned it. outside of that group of people, they're generally a ruthlessly pragmatic shit stick who looks at life the way a child might look at an easily shakeable ant farm. they are not the sort of character who would just volunteer to help the normies out, regardless of how curious the situation was; helping would distract from satisfying their own curiosity. plus, Ivan is generally a Good Person, and would have simply volunteered to take over Shai's shepherd duties.

which is when the solution occurred to me: split the party.

as Threshold now stands, Shai first finds the party of hapless normies, and they deliver the group to Ivan to actually help them, so they can then prance off to investigate the circumstances of the normies even being there. but then shit happens and one member of the Normie Brigade gets left behind very early in the story (it's literally how the first chapter ends). Shai is loyal to Ivan, is aware that Ivan will beat himself up if he can't get Jayne back to the group, and is also aware that Ivan will have an enormously difficult time getting the rest of the group to safety, tracking Jayne down, and getting him back to the group. on top of that, they'd already given their word to the group that they would be safe in Ivan's custody, but suddenly Jayne was no longer in that safe custody, and Shai takes keeping their word very seriously at least if they meant it when they gave it. so Shai winds up babysitting Jayne throughout the story. Threshold's current format is that the POV switches each chapter, with one chapter being the larger group from Mercy's perspective and the next chapter being Jayne, Shai, and Shai's rotating cast of friends from Jayne's perspective.

and that probably answers the question! I don't think you actually asked for most of that info, but Shai is my tragic Mary Sue trashfire and I like talking about them.

[rawr-smooch]

~The Calm Before the Maelstrom~

[Alternate Title: "GRRRR GRR GAY FISH GRRR!!!"]

[secretdazedragon]

even more shay doodles

[trailerparkdad]

sibling duo but except not, more like maybe he raised her bc their mom abandoned them so he was forced into adulthood when he was supposed to be a stupid kid, just so she can be one :P

their eyes r my fav 🥺🥺 maybe u can tell the difference between their personalities here

[bearlytolerant]

she was meant for healing and not for killing so sometimes after battle, she struggles and he’s there to give her a pep talk

[shaibonbon]

I PRESENT TO YOU MY NEW BUNNY OC, ANITA!! I am genuinely happy with the results for the first version suhgfbs and i feel shy about showing, dont question my shyness

I put my quick rundown of her personality in the alt text. Feel free to ask anything, I will answer :d

[the-lonelyshepherd]

tgey are very good friends <3

[saphizzle]

My dragonborn lost their eye a few sessions ago and he’s so so fine and normal about it!!

[chrismerle]

15 Questions Game

Hey look, an actual writeblr thing, holy shit. Thanks for the tag, @emelkae. Shai will be answering these.

Rules: Answer these 15 questions as yourself or as an OC, then tag 15 mutuals. Except I don't know 15 other writeblrs at this point, so I'm just gonna say, if you see this and want to play, you can say I tagged you.

Are you named after anyone?

"Anything is possible, I suppose," they remark with a shrug, before they titter behind their claws. "I would imagine not, no, seeing as I named myself. Bit of a funny story behind it, actually." They don't offer any sort of elaboration on the funny story in question. They tap the ash off of the end of their cigarette holder and adjust their weight in their seat. "I think it rolls off the tongue, don't you? SHAY-care-us Ill-THAHN-yoo-ell."

When was the last time you cried?

They tip their head to the side slowly, like a bird inspecting a puzzle, their expression pleasantly neutral. They tap the cigarette holder against their lip in thought. "A week ago," they finally decide, with the air of someone plucking a date from thin air. "I was making onion soup."

Do you have kids?

There's a single bark of sharp, harsh laughter. No other answer seems to be forthcoming.

Do you use sarcasm?

They look to the left, and then the right, eyes wide and Bambi bright behind their goggles. "Who, me? I would never. It would be most improper."

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their smile tilts, turning crooked and cheeky. "The questions they ask," they reply. "How many, and what kinds, or if they don't ask any at all."

What's your eye color?

They pause for a moment, eyes drifting up and to the side as they think. "I think they used to be hazel," they offer after a moment, with a half-hearted shrug. "But it's been a while, and I don't think about it much. Now, well." They tug their goggles down to hang around their neck. The left eye is blue. The right is lavender. Both are a clearly unnatural silver around the center. Most strangely of all, the veins of their eyes are not red, but a faintly metallic electric blue.

"Now it's more of a 'what color are you eyes?' 'Yes.' situation."

Scary movies or happy endings?

They wrinkle their nose for a second. "Everything in moderation."

Any special talents?

"A few, I would imagine." They carefully readjust their goggles, pulling them back up over their eyes and tightening the strap again. "Most people have at least one, after all."

Where were you born?

Their accent--an already prominent Irish lilt--gets deliberately more intense as they say, "Take a guess."

What are your hobbies?

"Cooking. Relearning how to play piano in fits and starts. Horseback riding. Sailing. Shooting. Among others."

Have you any pets?

"A horse. A dog. A few weasels, depending on the day." They pause, then, staring blankly into space, thinking far too deeply about what should be a fairly simple question. Finally, they add, "I'm not sure about the cats. They live with me, but they're also fully sentient, so calling them pets feels rude."

What sports do you play/have played?

"Horseback riding. Rock climbing. Riflery. Does cage fighting count?" They flex their claws and drum them against the arms of their seat. "Admittedly, I'm a very cheap fighter."

How tall are you?

"6'4", or just shy of two meters," they reply with a pleased, crooked smile that seems oddly proud of a detail they have no control over. "In my stockings, at any rate." They cross one ankle over the opposite knee, one four-inch heel clearly on display. "These are my favorite boots."

Favorite subject in school?

They take a drag from their cigarette, mostly to give them an excuse to think the answer over for a moment, before sighing the smoke slowly out their nose. "I was homeschooled," they offer carefully.

Dream job?

"I'm a cartographer," they say, with the easy, earnest joy of a child discussing going to space. "And an engineer, sometimes, but that's more of a 'needs must' situation. Sometimes Danny needs an engineer with a bit more tooth than his usual one." Their smile suggests it's a particularly cheesy joke--perhaps related to how abnormally serrated their smile is.

[vesper-roux]

Height Comparison Tag Game

Nicking this from @author-a-holmes [HERE]

Tagging: Anyone and everyone who sees this post and has OCs. If I can do it from an open tag, so can you. :) Let me see.

Link to the Height Comparison Website

How To Play: List the heights of your OCs, add any notes you'd like, and make a chart

I'm personally going to do multiple WIPs, limiting it to the MCs/some major characters. I also listed them from shortest to tallest in their respective WIPs.

It'll get long, so it's under the cut

Anthem

Willow: 5' / 152 cm. The shortest of the bunch and short by overall cultural standards. Where does it come from? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (It's because the only reason Will continues to live is because of vis life/energy stealing ability) Will doesn't care most of the time; ve's nimble and can stealth more easily because of it.

Asche: 5'7" / 170 cm. Given her ethnicity is coded to be Yamato Japanese and Thai, she's taller than average, but to most around her, she is average height. She's also got some Dutch in there (I know the spelling of her name is German; listen to the Dutch pronunciation of ash ['as'] for an explanation).

(Not a MC but still important) Sawyer: 5'9" / 175 cm. She does appreciate the qualities she has that she can use to command more respect from people. Her height is one of them, though she's not exactly tall. Again, like Asche, she is coded to be of Han Chinese (and English) descent, so by that metric, she is tall.

Rhys: 5'11" / 180 cm. He's pretty average in height, not really something he or anyone thinks about. He's perfect to be the guy you don't want people paying attention to... as long as you hide his owl-eyed baby face and get him to shut up.

(Not a MC but still important) Klaus: 6'2" / 188 cm. What better than to have a tall, strong built man for a warrior king? He's so well coifed, you'd think he had work done to his legs to make him fit his role this well (he didn't).

Galen: 6'7" / 200 cm. It's lucky Galen doesn't know who his parents are. He can keep it in his head his height is thanks to genetics because it sure wasn't from nutrition. He wasn't starving, he always found a way to keep himself fed, but there wasn't security.

Count the Valleys

While CtV isn't supposed to be historical fantasy, be set in the real world, and reflect history, I'm still using time period and ethnicity as basis for these characters.

Ashira: 5'2" / 157 cm. Average height for a Semitic woman of the Bronze Age. Ashira may be a lone wanderer in the desert, but she has many ways of taking care of herself, be it magical or practical. Mostly it's because she shapes herself into a wolf part of a pack.

Shai: 5'6" / 168 cm. Complete average height for an Egyptian/Semitic man of the Bronze Age. He's been taken care of since birth by priests for the belief he's a seer, so he's never been in want... until...

Anai: 5'8" / 173 cm. Above average height for a Nubian woman of the Bronze Age. She's a warrior, and though like a specialized sport sifting out less compatible body types, work does craft one into what they seek. She's carved out a life that suits her, and it shows.

Calix: 6'8" / 203 cm. Obviously the most realistic height of any ethnicity in any point of history, especially a Minoan! Calix is essentially Frankenstein's monster, being made from multiple people's bodies for the specific purpose to protect and serve royalty. Why wouldn't they make him and those like him huge when mural visual hierarchy uses size to depict things like power?

The Man in the Moon is a Stranger

Tricksy: 5'1" / 155 cm. This is their natural height. Trick is legally homeless and a paranoid shut-in who refuses to install any cybernetics into their body or technology that cannot be destroyed within a moment's notice in or around their hut. I haven't decided whether they're a minor or a young adult yet. Inspired by Ed from Cowboy Bebop.

Dove: 5'3" / 160 cm. It will forever annoy her that her little sister is taller than her, even if it's just by an inch. Or... was. Bugs' head is practically a helmet with bunny ears on it now, but she was finished growing by time she got that. Dove knows she can get an enhancement to change that, but that's not the point, dammit!

Bugs: 5'4" / 162.5 cm. Bugs doesn't have the smugness about being naturally taller than her older sister that Dove expects of her. She thinks it's funny if only because of Dove's obsession with coming across as intimidating, going so far as to install muscle enhancements, though Dove refuses to make herself taller.

Mojo: 5'7.7" / 172 cm. Mojo's all about being real with it. He's had cyber enhancements, but he's not going to change his height. He's ethnically Igbo, so he's average to his people.

Katsura: 5'9" / 175 cm. He's had many installments in his body but none so invasive as to change his height. Aside from Tricksy, he's the most natural one of the ensemble, shown in his name being his legal family name, not a code name.

L: 5'10" / 178 cm. While there's not much about L that is natural anymore, she didn't change her height because she's happy with it. Like with Katsura's name being his actual one, 'L' is a code name but is also her chosen name 🏳️‍⚧️

Cosmo: 6'2" / 188 cm. This is her natural height, and anyone who says otherwise doesn't know shit or is lying from their ass. She likes to work on a skill naturally first then get enhancements to make that skill even better.

Quill: 6'6" / 198 cm. This is not his natural height. He's had many cybernetic enhancements, and making his spine and legs more powerful and longer are some of them.

Untitled All-Female-Lead Shounen-type Story

Sen: 5'2" / 157 cm. Sen has never been the strongest physically or focused on strength, despite her devious and criminal lifestyle, so she's quite happy with her height.

Faye: 5'4" / 162 cm. If ever she feels bad about her height, she can shapeshift. It's not painless, and it requires some concentration to do keep it up, but she can do it. She doesn't do it much.

(Not MC but major character) Song: 5'5" / 165 cm. What full spellcaster is required to be tall?

Inzali: 5'6" / 167 cm. She's a bit taller than she thinks is fit for her profession, but she makes it work and wouldn't change it now that she knows how to work with it.

(Not MC but major character) Ardavast: 5'7" / 170 cm. Despite knowing how to make ends meet, living on the streets has taken a toll. Not much to his height, but it's there. He doesn't mind. People don't see him as a threat, and that's good for him.

Cirin: 6' / 182 cm. Well-fed, well-dressed, well-trained. Of course, she's above average height even for her family, but she loves it and takes it as yet another point of pride.

[house-of-hamartia]

"Siúil, siúil, siúil a rún Siúil go sochair agus siúil go ciúin Siúil go doras agus éalaigh liom Is go dté tú mo mhúirnín slán."

Siúil A Rúin

--------------------

Hiyo everyone.

Just passing by to share a small thing I did today.

If you have been with me for a while, you know that I suffer from very vivid nightmares and night terrors that usually worsen with my anxiety, to the points that I awake more often than not my poor husband, who is the only one that can actually calm me down and anchor me. I hate them, because they are so vivid, so dishorienting, that just leave me terrified.

So, it's to the surprise of no one that Dora suffers from the same exact thing, and hers, pretty much like mine, is connected to PTSD and, pretty much like mine with my husband, even her nightmares revolve around her fear of losing Shay.

She is terrified to the bone that something might happen to him: be it the Assassins or the wrath of the ocean, she is just petrified at the idea that he might never be alive in this world again.

So, more often than not, she wakes up drenched in sweat, calling for Shay. And of course, without fail, Shay's arms are around her the moment she opens her eyes, and tries to soothe her into at least realizing that she is not dreaming anymore but she is awake again.

I like to imagine that he would sing to her "Siúil A Rúin" to help her calm down, giving her his voice as guide to sort of snap her out of it and anchor her to him once more.

It's not easy, and the first few times Shay had witnessed one of her terrors, it left him more shook than he wanted to admit.

But with time and patience (and Theda's help), he eventually managed to learn what to do for his Dora. And I am happy to say that he is the only one that can actually manage to calm her down completely.

Well, I hope you will like this.

Also, here, have a small close up because I actually like how they turned out.

--Nemo

[grlsbstshot]

NEON LIGHTS

Pairing (Original Characters):

Jameson Lucas (Aaron Pierre) x Imani St. Cirie (Megan thee Stallion) Genie Adesanya (Jayme Lawson) x Ellington “EJ” Dupree (Kelvin Harrison Jr.)

Chapters:

Neon Lights Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: while imani processes her lingering pain over jameson’s constant betrayals, jameson reels from her inattention. torn between loyalty to her best friend and processing her own feelings, genie grapples with guilt and anxiety while ej does his best to take care of her. sloane attempts to celebrate the split between jameson and imani but genie intervenes.

Warnings: toxic relationship, them b words! (watch them b words!), explicit terminology, dirty talk (kinda), usage of the n-word (if you white and read it, you owe us $20) -- if we missed anything, let us know!

Word Count: 5.6k Divider Template: @cafekitsune

Notes: 

The following characters are original creations. Their voice claims are Usher / Lucky Daye (Jameson) & Summer Walker / SZA (Imani). We have no affiliation to any of those artists.

1 week after Sloane's party

Jameson leaned against the kitchen counter, his phone clutched in his hand as he stared at the screen in surprise. The image of Christian reflected back at him and he briefly wondered when he even started following that nigga. A quick glance to the left-hand corner told him it was Imani's Instagram account. Imani? With Christian? He couldn't even see that bastard's face but knew he was probably happy as fuck to be with Imani.

Look who came to visit.

The caption made his stomach churn. There was nothing downright explicit or implicated more but the simple fact that she had taken the picture, thought of the caption, and posted it? It made him sick. He knew for a fact she couldn't stand him. After things ended abruptly between Christian and Genie, Imani hadn't seen it for him. Ever. But now they were close enough for him to visit?

Texts left on read. Calls that went straight to voicemail. The silence was deafening.

Jameson immediately left the app and went to his messages, texting her a blitz of...admittedly emotional responses. She still hadn't responded to any of the ones before. He put his phone face down on the counter, trying to rein in his temper. He didn’t need to read the comments to know what they said. Fans were undoubtedly cheering it on. Shit talking about how 'cute' he probably was. Wondering if she had finally replaced him.

What if she had? What if the space where he stood was going to belong to another person? Not just Christian -- anybody? That was enough to turn his stomach.

Jameson's hand clenched into a fist and he turned around, hitting the first thing he saw...which so happened to be EJ's fridge. His fist dented the medal but it hurt him a hell of a lot more than it did the inanimate object.

“Ay, muhfucka! I got that imported from France. Watch that shit. What's your problem?” Jameson glanced up to see EJ rounding the corner, a cup of coffee in his hand. He couldn't quite blame his best friend for being irritated but he was going through some shit.

“Her Instagram.” Jameson muttered, nodding toward his phone. EJ walked over, picked up the phone, and whistled low when he saw the post. “Ain't this a bitch.” He scrolled through the comments briefly before setting the phone down. “They have a ship name too. Chrismani sound stupid tho.”

Jameson glared at him and EJ quickly put the phone down, shrugging. "My bad, man." “What am I supposed to do? She’s not answering my calls. She’s ignoring my texts. And now she’s letting him—” Jameson cut himself off, shaking his head. He didn't know what the fuck the two had going on but either way, he didn't like that shit.

“Letting him what? Exist?” EJ raised an eyebrow. “Because that’s what it looks like to me. You give this nigga way too much power, man. Genie has a history with him, right? You know Imani. She not going too far with him."

Jameson frowned at EJ. He was right but he also knew..."Please. If you saw the girl you loved posted up with somebody else a week after ignoring your calls, you'd be tripping too." He didn't know what to do when it came to Imani. “She told me to choose. I could be friends with Sloane or I could be with her.”

EJ set his coffee down and crossed his arms, leaning against the counter as he stared at his best friend. “Okay? So Sloane's out. Now what?" Jameson began to rub his hand over his fist, rolling his eyes in agitation. "It's not that easy!"

EJ cocked his head, leaning against the counter as he stared at Jameson with wide eyes. "Fuck you mean it's not that easy? Lose a friend, gain a girlfriend. Besides, Genie don't like her and Genie likes everybody. That's how you know something is up with her."

Jameson sighed softly, reaching to snatch his phone off the counter again. EJ had a point. Genie and Sloane had fallen out around the time he and Imani had become serious. He never knew what happened but wanted them both to feel like they could count on him. He didn't want to take sides. His friend vs his sister? He didn't want to decide. "Sloane doesn't have anybody."

"She had a house full of people at that party last week." "None of those people give a shit about her." "And you do?" "Of course I do." "You want that girl?" "No! No. I'm so fucking tired of being accused of that shit. I've known her since she was fifteen. I knew her when she could barely look you in the eyes when she was talking to you. She was lonely as fuck. And she's still lonely. I'm sorry I feel guilty abandoning her."

Jameson saw EJ's face change. From confusion to understanding all in an instant and for some reason -- he hated it. "You keep saying you're 'abandoning' her. You're not, man. She's a grown up." Jameson braced himself, knowing what EJ was going to say next. "She's not you and you are not your father."

He shut it down within a second, shaking his head as he quickly moved out of the kitchen. His father was a forbidden subject. Nobody brought the man up. Not his mother, not the press. Nobody. As far as the world was concerned, it was just Anais and James Lucas against the world. "It's not about that, man. I just don't want to abandon my friend."

"Do you want Imani back?" EJ called out to him, following. "Of course I do." "Let Sloane go. You can't let her think Christian is the only muhfucka that cares about how she feels. Let her go."

Jameson stared at him, the words sinking in.

“You’ve got options,” EJ said, approaching him and patting his hand against Jameson's shoulder. “Write her a song. Send her flowers. Show up at the studio if you have to. You flew to fucking Italy within a minute. Why are you hesitating now? Don't sit there and let this nigga come take what's yours."

Jameson hesitated. “You think that’ll work?”

EJ shrugged. “I think it’s better than...you know. Punching my shit and stalking her on Instagram. You’ve always been a fighter, J. Don’t stop now.”

Jameson nodded slowly, his mind already spinning with ideas. EJ clapped him on the shoulder before heading out of the kitchen, leaving Jameson alone with his thoughts. He unlocked the phone in his hand and went back to Instagram, staring at the picture of Christian on her page. It was bullshit but EJ was right. He couldn't give up on her. He swore he never would.

The texts came through fast, almost as if he didn't have to think about what he was sending. She didn't take any pleasure in his reaction. Not really. But Imani needed something to flip that damn switch in Jameson's mind. He needed to know she wasn't playing. The mention of Genie made her heart hurt though. She texted her before she posted the picture of Christian but there had been no response. There hadn't been a response afterward either and Imani was praying she didn't hold this against her.

She forced herself not to finish reading Jameson's texts. She closed out the messages and went back to Instagram. Cross-legged on her couch, the soft glow of her phone screen illuminating her face in the dim living room, she scrolled through the comments on her post.

The likes were climbing rapidly, as they always did. Thousands of comments flooded in, a mix of excitement, speculation, and blatant nosiness.

"With your bestie ex? Oh, messy Mani." "What about Jameson tho? 👀" "Girl, you’re glowing without him. Keep winning!"

Her thumb hovered over that last comment, her heart clenching. Glowing without him. Was she?

She tossed her phone onto the cushion beside her, leaning back against the couch. The praise and speculation didn’t fill the hollow ache that had been gnawing at her for days. It wasn’t about Christian—he was nothing. She felt absolutely nothing for the man. She got the vibe that he wanted something with her but Imani couldn't tell if he was delusional or just stupid to really think she'd give him the time of day after he was with her best friend. Then again...People thought that's exactly what she was doing.

The post wasn’t about him though. It was about the one person who wasn’t tagged, wasn’t mentioned, but was still present in every corner of her mind.

Jameson.

He kept letting her down. Choosing other people over her. She wouldn't him do it again. She closed her eyes, and the memories came rushing back like a tidal wave.

It was late, and the city lights outside their hotel room window shimmered like stars. She remembered sitting on the edge of the bed, the air thick with tension. Jameson stood in front of her, his hands trembling as he admitted the unthinkable. The night he ruined their relationship. All their problems went back to that one moment. “I slept with her.” he’d said, his voice raw and cracking. “I'm so sorry. Mani, I...I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I was drunk. I swear to god.” Her heart had shattered in that moment, the weight of his words crushing her. She remembered the way her chest had tightened, the disbelief that had turned into anger, then grief. They were done, she knew that. He knew that. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Huh? It's fuck me, huh?!” she’d whispered, her voice trembling. Her entire body shaking. “I trusted you. I gave you everything.” “Mani, please,” he’d begged, dropping to his knees in front of her, reaching for her hands. She snatched them away, trying to get up from the bed but Jameson grasped her by the waist, keeping her trapped. She pushed against his shoulders, twisting out of his grasp as tears filled her eyes. “I'm going to fix it, baby. I swear to god, I'll fix it. I'm sorry.” "Let me go! You can't fix this shit!" "Yes, I can. I can fix it. I'll be better." "Jameson. You just told me you fucked another bitch and you really think I'm going to give you a chance to fix it? We're done. It's over."

She opened her eyes, the memory dissipating like smoke, but the sting remained. She reached for her phone again, scrolling back to her post. The comments about Jameson were multiplying, each one a reminder of the life they’d shared and the pain he’d caused.

She couldn’t go back to that. She wouldn’t.

Her thumb hovered over the delete button for a moment before she pulled her hand away. No, she thought. Let him have to keep seeing it. Let him wonder. Let the tags in the comments be a reminder. “You won't get to the chance to play me again.” she whispered, her voice steady.

With that, she exited the app, her resolve solidifying. If Jameson wanted her back, he’d have to do more than beg. He’d have to prove he was worthy of her trust—and she wasn’t sure she’d ever believe that again.

Imani opened her texts, shooting a message to her engineer and manager. She had written so much shit when she was trying to get over the betrayal Jameson had done -- it was enough for albums. Why not use this pain to start a new chapter in her life? She spent so much of her time worrying about him. It was time to worry about herself. Her music. Her career.

Genie had done her best to put it out of her mind. The picture was exploding all over social media. She'd been tagged in it almost as much as Jameson was and each time made her chest tighten. The knot of anxiety she’d been carrying all day pulling tighter. She promised to meet EJ for lunch and had arrived early, sitting primly and perfectly -- covered in Chanel. Her beautiful dark coils pressed perfectly and swept back in a french curl. She looked much better than she felt.

She had known Imani was going to post it. The text had come hours before, but Genie hadn’t responded. She’d stared at the message, her thumb hovering over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. What could she say? No one knew the whole story of she and Christian. All she told Imani was that it was over. But shouldn't that have been enough? Of all the men to use to make Jameson jealous, why him?

She had complicated feelings about Imani playing with Jameson's feelings as well -- but it wasn't as if she didn't have good reason. He was her brother but he was an idiot sometimes. The image was out in the world and Genie felt that her silence was almost complicity in hurting Jameson. If the gossip was correct, Sloane was a thorn in their relationship and Genie knew a surefire way to get her out.

EJ finally arrived and Genie glanced up to see him making his way to their table -- led by the hostess. A smile curved her lips as the two maintained eye contact. She had never been so enamored with a man before. Even that crush she had on Christian had been bullshit compared to how EJ made her feel. They kept their relationship fairly casual. After their night at Sloane's party, he had been with her every step of the way, reassuring her and being patient with her. He was more than she deserved.

Before he sat down, he came to her side of the table and kissed her softly. It was a brief touch of his lips but the stiffness in her shoulders relaxed. She felt the tightening of her chest relax and for a minute, she felt like she could breathe. "Hi, baby." He told her softly, moving to take his seat as she poured him a glass of wine. His sharp eyes flicking to the phone on the table. “I guess you've seen it.,” he said, nodding toward it. “Jamie isn't too happy either.”

Genie hesitated, then nodded to confirm she saw it. “She said it was to make Jameson jealous, but…” She trailed off, placing the bottle back on the table. "I don't know. It seems so out of character for her. Mani can be petty but she doesn't waste her time with people she doesn't give a fuck about. I don't think she understands what she's getting into."

EJ nodded, lifting his hand to gesture to a waiter for a glass of water. He was totally different from her. He worried about their friends but Genie took it totally to heart. Probably because she loved them both. EJ loved Jameson -- she was sure he hadn't decided how he felt about Imani yet. "I told him to go get his girl back. But I kind of regret it now."

Genie prepared herself to defend Imani. Jameson was her brother but she wasn't ready to absolve him of his sins. Especially when the reason their relationship was so chaotic was because he cheated a year ago. "They love each other so that wasn't a mistake. They just...they can't seem to get it together.," she said softly. “This is going to make everything worse. For her. For Jameson. For everyone.”

EJ leaned back, studying her with a mix of concern. “Did you tell her that?”

“I...I couldn't." Genie sighed, then immediately regretted the admission. “I mean, I wanted to. But what was I supposed to say? ‘Don’t post him because he’s a jerk who’s going to ruin your life?’ I didn't want her to think I was jealous.”

EJ raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you?”

Genie opened her mouth to deny it, but the words caught in her throat. She had been jealous at the party. It had caused a twinge to her heart to see a man she used to want choosing other women over her. Women she loved deeply and respected. He had already taken Sloane. Now Imani? She had been scared. But as she gazed at EJ, she knew he was one of a kind. There wasn't a man like him in the world. How dare she be jealous over a man who wasn't worth it when one who was sat in front of her. “I’m not jealous. Anymore.,” she said finally, reaching across the table to take his hand. “I’m scared. For her. For Jameson. I don’t want to see either of them hurt. Between Sloane and Christian, their relationship could easily snap.”

EJ’s expression softened. He reached out and took her hand, brushing his thumb back and forth across her skin, “You worry too much about other people, Genie. It’s gonna tear you apart if you let it.”

Genie looked down at his hand, the warmth of his touch grounding her. “I can’t help it,” she murmured.

“I know. You got the kind of heart I love. But maybe it’s time you focused on you,” EJ said gently. “Let them figure it out. You’ve got your own life to live, Genie. Your own man to worry about."

"Oh? Are you my man?" "Didn't you cum on my face a few times? I could have sworn last night that you begged me to --"

Genie's eyes went wide as she peered around the restaurant to see if anyone heard him. No one did but her reaction made EJ laugh. She snatched her hand from his, reaching over to slap his wrist.

"Stop it! Don't say that out loud!" "It's true. You did. And you're gonna do it again when we leave here." "Is that all you're going to do?" "For now." "What if I want more?" "I gotta make sure you're ready. So stop babysitting everybody else and let me take care of you for a change." "Yes, sir." "Ooh. Keep that up. I like that."

She smiled faintly, though the knot in her stomach didn’t loosen. For the rest of the lunch, she and EJ didn't mention Jameson and Imani but her gaze kept straying to the phone. Thoughts of Christian and Sloane filtered through her mind. For her last act of babysitting -- she was going to make sure they didn't ruin Imani and Jameson's second chance. If they couldn't get it right, it had to be on their own terms. Not anybody else's.

It was nightfall by the time Genie managed to convince EJ to let her out of bed. He asked her to let everyone figure their shit out but she had to get this out. Once she promised him she'd wash her hands of it after talking to Jameson, he gave her a kiss and let her go. Texting Jameson and telling him it was an emergency was probably dramatic but he shared his location with her. When she pulled up to the recording studio, he was waiting outside -- leaning against his Range Rover.

He watched her curiously as she parked and got out, lifting his hand to press to her shoulder as he escorted her inside -- like an annoyed but worried older brother would. When they were settled in a quiet, private studio, finally he leaned in and nudged her arm. "Talk. You kind of scaring me."

They sat in front of the mixing console, a track playing lowly in the background. Genie could tell it was one of his. She knew his voice anywhere but hadn't heard this song before. She understood a few words here and there but couldn't catch the rhythm of the song. Jamie looked tense, his shoulders stiff. She knew he hadn't been able to shake the thoughts of Imani and Christian from his mind.

“What’s going on?”

Genie hesitated, the weight of what she was about to say pressing down on her. She took a deep breath and shrugged out of her jacket. "There’s a lot you don’t know. Things I’ve been keeping to myself because I didn’t want to -- Well, I wasn't brave enough to do what Imani did. I didn't want to make you choose. But after everything that’s happened -- Imani, that post, the way Christian's been acting -- I can’t stay quiet anymore.”

Jameson’s expression darkened, a storm brewing in his eyes as he grasp her hands in his. “What did he do?”

Genie exhaled shakily, her voice trembling as she began. “Christian and I -- it was a fluke from the beginning. Maybe I was too presumptive but I...I told Sloane how I felt. She encouraged me to pursue him. So I did. I put myself out there." Tears filled her eyes as she thought of the way she had embarrassed herself. The sting of being rejected had faded but losing Sloane -- knowing what she had done? That would never go away.

"I found them together. At your afterparty for the Grammys. They were...Well, they were fucking. In your pool house. I didn't say a word. I turned around and left but I confronted Sloane afterward." Genie took a breath and forced herself to continue. "She didn’t even deny it. Said it was no big deal because...it wasn't like he wanted me anyway. He liked someone else. She knew and didn't tell me. I stopped talking to her that night.”

She felt his grip around her fingers tighten for a moment before they relaxed. The look on his face was...a lot like hers the night Sloane had shown who she was. Devasated. Confused. Disbelief. “She said that to you?”

Genie nodded, her throat tightening as tears fell. “I told Christian I was sorry. Can you believe it? I apologized for not being who he wanted. It was embarrassing. I'm starting to think who he wanted...was Imani.”

Jameson shook his head but all the pieces were falling into place. “That’s why you’ve been avoiding her.”

“Yes,” Genie said, her voice firmer now as she pulled her hands free and wiped her eyes. “And it’s why I think you need to let her go, J. Do what Imani said. Choose her. Sloane only cares about herself and she’s only going to drag you down.”

Jameson leaned back in his seat. “She was your friend. I wouldn't even know her if it wasn't for you. You loved her before anybody else and she...she did that to you.”

“Yes,” Genie said gently. “If anybody knows what it's like to see the best in Sloane, it's me. I always saw it. Until she showed me something else, Jameson. Don't wait until she shows you.”

He looked up at her then, a spark of anger in his eyes. "And Christian?”

Genie’s lips pressed into a thin line. “I don't know. He may really like Imani but she...she deserves better." She may be there to help Jameson fix things but she couldn't bring herself to tell him that Imani was just trying to make him jealous. Loyalty to both kept her conflicted.

They sat in silence for a while so Jameson could process everything. He was distracted, clearly overwhelmed, but she knew what he would do when he spoke next. "I love you, you know?" he told Genie softly, his voice thick with emotion. "You and your dad...you two gave me and Ma everything we needed to feel like a family. You're my sister, Genie. I wouldn't ever let anybody hurt you."

She gave him a faint smile, tears filling her eyes again. For somebody who could write music, he had never been eloquent with her about his feelings. They irritated each other like siblings but she had never truly said it to him. "I love you too." Genie said softly. “I wouldn't ever let anybody hurt you either. That's why Sloane has to get out of our lives. Now.”

Jameson nodded, agreeing without words. “I threw everything away with Imani to be loyal to somebody who didn't deserve it.”

Genie reached out, squeezing his knee. “It may not be over. Try it. Let her know you choose her. Over anything. Even if you guys don't work it out, at least you’ll know you did everything you could. But you can’t move forward if you’re still holding onto people like Sloane.”

He nodded slowly, the weight of her words sinking in. “You’re right,” he said finally.

Genie smiled faintly, relief washing over her. “Good. Now, go clean up your mess.”

He gave her a small, rueful laugh. “I'm not good at that.”

“Get good at it.,” she said, standing and placing a kiss to his forehead...before slapping him on the back of the neck. Jameson flinched but only stared up at her. “Consider this my retirement from worrying about you and Imani. My man told me to stop.”

His brows furrowed as she turned to leave the studio. "What man?!" he called out after her. Genie ignored him and continued on to her car to get back home to EJ.

God had to have a sense of humor. No sooner had he watched Genie zip off in her car, he'd gotten a text from Sloane. A dinner invitation. He had been seconds from texting a denial but he knew this message was better delivered in person -- so he agreed to show up. He spent the entire drive to her place stewing in anger -- pissed at her and himself. He had spent months bringing this girl around Genie, around Imani. Begging them to give her a shot. He hadn't even asked why she and Genie had fallen apart. He was a shit friend and a shit boyfriend.

The elevator doors slid open, and Jameson stepped into the hallway leading to Sloane’s penthouse. His jaw tight and he had no idea how to release his tension. He had no idea what he planned to say. There was so much in his head. All he wanted to do was yell at her. Make her give him a valid reason for the shit she'd been doing. The weight of Genie’s confession bore down on him, and the idea of confronting Sloane left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He knocked twice, his knuckles rapping sharply against the wood. Moments later, the door swung open, and Sloane appeared, her face lighting up like the sun.

“Jamie! Just in time! Dinner is almost done.” she exclaimed, pulling the door wide for him to enter. When he did so, she immediately wrapped her arms around him. “Hi. I missed you.”

Her perfume was light and airy. In another place, another time, he probably would have complimented her on it and told her that he missed her too. And that would have been the wrong thing to do. Becoming disillusioned with Sloane made him notice everything. The way she clung to him, the way she looked up at him with bright eyes, the darkened apartment, the Ella Fitzgerald album -- one of his favorites -- playing softly in the background. He stood stiffly, not hugging her back but it didn't seem to phase her. She took her time hugging him, only pulling back when she deemed it was over.

Jameson’s expression didn’t waver. “We just saw each other last week at the party, Sloane,” he said, his voice cutting sharper than the edge of a blade.

She blinked, momentarily thrown off by his tone. “I know. It still feels like it’s been a minute…”

Jameson stepped further away from her, his movements deliberate. He glanced around, noting the intimate setup of the dining table—a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a single candle flickering softly. The oven lit up with the smell of a dinner that he couldn't quite place. Genie had lit the match but everything was ablaze now. Imani's accusations were crystal clear in his mind. God, she had been right.

“I saw Imani posted Christian on Instagram,” Sloane said, her voice carefully measured. “I’m sorry…you don’t deserve that.”

Jameson’s jaw tightened as he stood with his back with her, trying to get a grasp on his anger. “Imani's mine to worry about.”

“I-I know,” Sloane stammered, moving closer to him. Her voice softened, dripping with concern. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Jamie.” She reached out for his hand, her fingers brushing against his. “You can call me if you need anything.”

Jameson didn’t move. His demeanor was rigid, his body language screaming discomfort. He didn’t bother to touch her hand, his gaze fixed on hers with an intensity that made her falter.

“Is everything okay?” Sloane asked, her voice uncertain. She tilted her head, her lips curving into a small, confused smile. “You’re not acting like my Jamie.”

"Did you fuck Christian?" he asked her abruptly, tilting his head to look at her. He saw it for a second. For one second, she looked caught off guard. She looked...exposed. But then the guard went up, her brow furrowed and she gave him a laugh. He could see her about to lie. "Don't. Don't you dare lie to me. I've had enough of that."

She hesitated but then moved away, heading back to the table. She tripped over her own heels and clumsily poured herself a glass of wine. Jameson finally moved, the tension draining from his body the more he confronted her. Sloane lifted the glass to gulp down wine before Jameson continued on. "Genie told me everything." He watched her choke on the liquid, leaning forward as she coughed loudly and took deep breaths. "And I got to thinking -- if she could do that to her best friend...what else could she do?"

She turned wide eyes to him as she continued to try to catch her breath. "Christian was...a mistake." She gasped out, shaking her head. "It was just a night. We were drunk! We got carried away!"

He heard the same mistakes he gave Imani and his stomach churned again, shaking his head. "You destroyed someone who loved you. Better than anyone else. Do you think that excuse works? You hurt the kindest fucking person in the world. And you hurt her because you could. You humiliated her! And you act like nothing happened! You didn't even have the fucking decency to tell her you're sorry!"

Sloane’s lips parted, but no words came out. She looked at him, searching for some sign of forgiveness, but all she could see was disappointment and anger. It's all he had left for her.

“I believed in you. Imani told me to choose and I...I said I wouldn't but I did. I fucking chose you because I thought you were a good person. I thought you needed me. A friend.” Jameson continued, his voice low and steady.

"I do need you!" "You don't need me! You want me. There's a fucking difference, Sloane!"

He heard his phone notifications go off but he ignored it. Even when it continued, he kept going. His gaze didn't leave Sloane's. Her eyes filled with tears as she reached out for him but he sidestepped her hand. She clenched her fingers tightly and sobbed quietly but he didn’t flinch. "Jamie, please. I’m sorry. I never meant—”

“Are you in love with me?” he interrupted, his tone weary. He didn't need the confession but he asked anyway. “If you ever cared about me, tell me the truth.”

Sloane froze before she gave the slightest nod. That nod hit him hard in the gut.

"You want to hear what I feel?" He asked her and watched as she closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head. She knew he didn't love her. She couldn't bear to hear the words. But Jameson figured it out now. A hard lesson to learn but...he had to give them to her. "I love Imani. I love everything about her. I love her so much that I don't know how to live without her. She makes me want to be better. I love the way she loves Genie. I love the way she loves me. And I gave that up twice. I keep hurting her and I did it again. This time...for you. And I regret it."

The more he spoke, the more she cried. "I'm sorry I brought us to this. You can blame me for it. Not Imani. Goodbye, Sloane." He moved towards the door and she followed him. Her phone rang out loud and she hesitated, tears blurring her eyes as she turned back to the kitchen. He didn't stop moving.

As he reached for the handle, she called out, her voice breaking. “Jamie, wait—Please! Don't leave me.”

He paused but didn’t turn around. Guilt grabbed a hold of him again but he pushed it away, knowing that enabling Sloane would only hurt her further...so he opened the door and walked out. It clicked shut behind him and for a moment, he stood there, trying to catch his breath. He heard her scream, throw things across the room, and yell out for him -- but he pretended he didn't.

Jameson walked towards the elevators, the anger he had carried up with him left behind in her place. He fished his phone out of his pocket, pushing the button for the ground floor as he read each text that came through but one caught his attention: a text from EJ that contained a link to Apple Music and an article.

R&B Sensation Imani releases surprise EP, Diary

As he browsed the article, the elevator doors pinged open and an avalanche of notifications from Instagram came in. Even more than when Imani posted the picture of Christian. To make matters worse, he got a shit ton of texts from friends and acquaintances. Half of them were the fucking eye emoji.

"Shit." He muttered to himself.

[secretdazedragon]

Shay and his mother

[demonoflight]

Some day, in the future, the Houzuki-Ida family.