#oblivious jason todd

[undertheredhood]

one of jason’s love interests deciding to make the first move (because we all know jason wouldn’t be the one to do it because he’s a loser): hey handsome, do you come here often?

jason todd (a nerd who’s last somewhat serious romantic relationship happened before his death): get the hell out of my city

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[anyknotrants]

-in tha Batcave, the whole fam is there, training, working on a case or doing other shit-

*Bab's phone starts ringing*

Babs: *picks it up* oh hey Wally..... yeah he's here.... did he now?...... give me a minute

Babs, shouting: hey Dick|! Didn't you have plans for tonight?

Dick, hanging from a trapeze: ... not that I... know of?

Babs: oh really? *smirks and waves her phone* so I can just go and tell your boyfriend you're canceling your date?

Batfam: *stops what their doing* ??!??

Dick: *eyes widen* shit!

Dick: *jumps down and takes of to the door upstairs* I'll be right there! Keep him on the phone till then!

Babs: *cuckles and brings the phone back to her ear* do you beliave it?.... yeah, yeah....

Babs: *starts rolling towars the elevator* well, he put he in charge of keeping you company, so tell me....

*and she's off as well*

Batfam: .....

Tim: I didn't just halucinated that, right? She did say Dick has a boyfriend

Jason: you heard that too? Thanks fuck, I thought I was going crazy

Setph: you already are

Bruce.exe stopped working

[noassamoas]

headcanon that alfred does not know what to get bruce for his birthday anymore, the man literally basically has everything. So, whenever he finds something that Bruce has lost, he hold onto it, and gifts it back. Everytime, Bruce is like “omg alfred, where did you find this?? Its been missing forever thank you ur the best”

nobody says anything whether they figure it out or not

[wow-thisismylifeiguess]

AU where Bruce isn’t Batman and the ‘Brucie’ persona is mostly real, but he’s also not an idiot and well aware that his kids are vigilantes

Bruce, “I just wish Dickie chose a better costume than that. I mean, look at him! He’s like a traffic light.”

Alfred, “I believe it’s a similar outfit to one his mother designed for him when he was younger.”

Bruce, “….nevermind, I take it back. He’s my beautiful baby boy and his outfit choices are definitely not atrocious.”

—

Bruce, “Jay…mind explaining the bruises on your wrists?”

Jason, “Oh…yunno how it is.”

Bruce, stares

Bruce, “If your partner is hurting you-”

Jason, “NO, it’s nothing like that! I promise, it was….consensual?”

Bruce, “Is that a question or statement, kiddo?”

Jason, “Statement.”

Jason, later, grumbling to Dick, “Sometimes I feel like he’s onto us…”

Dick, “No way. We cover our tracks super well. You just need to come up with better excuses for your bruises. I mean, BDSM? You?”

Bruce, upstairs, listening through a bug he planted, “Dumbasses.”

—

Bruce, “Why is the Drake child in my home?”

Jason, “He’s a friend.”

Dick, “I think you’re choking him a little, B.”

Bruce, who has Tim in a bear hug, “Am I choking you, buddy?”

Tim, muffled, “Not at all.”

—

Bruce, “TALIA! YOU’RE HERE! Why are you here.”

Damian, “Why am I here?”

Talia, “We have a son. Here. Take care of him.”

Damian, “I will not stay w a man like…like him.”

Bruce, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Damian, “You’re pathetically human and weak. I have nothing to learn here, Mother.”

Talia, “He’s beaten me before.”

Damian, “What?”

Dick, “What?”

Jason, “What?”

Bruce, smiling dreamily, “Such good memories.”

—

The kids find out he knew everything from the start when Dick has to pick up a drunk Bruce from a party. They arrive back at the Manor and Bruce won’t stop clinging to Dick.

Bruce, “Noooooooo! Don’t leave me! Don’t put on that ugly costume!”

Dick, “W-what?”

Bruce, sniffles, “It’s better than the Robin one, but come on, chum. You can do so much better than that.”

Dick, “You…know?”

Bruce, still crying, “Of course I knew! Good at covering your tracks my ass!”

Dick, “Do you know everything?”

Bruce, wiping his face because his vision is blurring and there’s two Dicks standing in front of him. Fuck, he’s dizzy, “Jason’s outfit is better. Tim’s is atrocious. But at least you gave Dami pants.”

Dick, “BRUCE!?”

Bruce, “Nooooo, don’t yell. My head hurts.”

—

Sitting in what Bruce has decided to call the Bat Cave because, helloooo, the bats?

Dick, "How long have you known?"

Bruce, "Oh, you know."

Jason, "From the beginning???"

Bruce, "I'm not stupid. Alfred, why does everyone think I'm stupid? My own kids think I'm stupid."

Tim, "Mr Wayne-"

Bruce, stares at him

Tim, "....Bruce. We don't think you're stupid. We just thought we were being...sneaky."

Damian, "Hmph. All of you lack training in stealth. Unlike me."

Bruce, "Dickie, how am I supposed to not know when I adopted a child acrobat and 'oh, look! a pint sized vigilante who can do flips off of buildings!'"

Jason, snorts, "Pint sized."

Bruce, "Jaylad, you started using guns a week after I signed you up for a firearms class."

Tim, tries very hard to hide a laugh

Bruce, "Timmy, your bedroom is covered in pictures of Gotham you'd only get from being on top of buildings."

Damian, scoffs

Bruce, "Dami, you trained as an assassin. Of fucking course you're a vigilante."

The kids, "....fuck. We suck at this."

Bruce, waves his hands in the air, "Don't worry about it. You're all bad at covering for yourselves, but me and Alfred handled it. Anyone who might've even got an inkling of who you might be have been...dealt with."

Jason, "Did you kill them?!"

Bruce, "What? No. Of course not. Right, Alfie?"

Alfred, "....of course not."

[personfrommars10]

Jason: Is it just me or is Grayson acting weird?

Tim: He finally realized that him and Wally are dating and have been for a year, and it's only because Wally said happy one year anniversary darling

Jason: Wow, Grayson is an oblivious fuck

Tim: Says the person who still hasn't released he's basically been dating his best friend for 3 years because he spends most nights at his house, watches his kid, has kissed him on the lips and calls him pet names all the time

Jason: Actually I know I'm dating Roy, Roy just don't know we're dating

[yourlocal-edgelord]

it would be so funny if dick was the only one in the family who actually has a resting bitch face. Like if you catch him off guard and hes not smiling your in for a treat, and jason would be so jealous bc he wants an rbf

————————

jason: hey dickface pass the maple syrup

dick who slept fifteen minutes then was called to breakfast: *turns around looking like hes glaring at jason and passes the syrup*

Jason: *in pure non lazarus pit fury* HOW COME HE GETS A RESTING BITCH FACE AND I DONT?!?

Dick now with pure confusion: what do you mean?

[vm-haunts]

Red Hood Is A What Now?

Fact one: Red Hood is not a single person. No one agrees on how many guys are in the rotation, or whoever they might be, but everyone that works for Hood knows the boss isn't a single person. Hell, half of them had seen more than one Hood showing up to meetings by now, it's far from a secret.

Fact two: the twins, Jay and Gales, are connected with the boss. Again, nobody agrees on how exactly, but they most definitely are. Maybe they're Hood's son, maybe they're younger siblings. Maybe they're sugar babies even. Whoever they are to Hood though, it's clear that they're trusted enough to stand in at meetings when Boss is unavailable.

Fact three: the twins are metas, honestly it's really obvious in the way their eyes and hair change color like a mood ring. Nobody bothered mentioning it cause that's pretty much all there's to it, just some cosmetic change that isn't even helpful.

...

Or, Danny and Jason is somehow running a gang together, the bulky Red Hood armor is very good at hiding silhouettes actually, and the two are known metas to literally every body except themselves.

[demonic0angel]

"What's up with Red Hood?"

"Him and Wolf got into an argument, and now the drama king is lamenting that their love life is dead."

"Is it?"

"Only if one of them died."

(🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃)

“What do you mean?” Goon 1 asked.

Goon 2 and Goon 3 shared a look and then looked back at him. “Oh yeah. You’re new to this gang, right?”

Goon 1 nodded nervously. “Yeah. I joined a few weeks ago. What do you mean by Red Hood’s love life? Is he dating Wolf?”

Both Goon 2 and 3 grimaced. It was Goon 2 who said, “No. It's even worse. Because they’re in love and not even dating.”

Goon 1’s eyebrows rose. Then wanting to know more of the tea, he asked eagerly, “Really? Why’s that? Is it unrequited? What’s happening?”

He paused, remembering where he was, before he glanced nervously to the side where Red Hood was flattening himself across the table dramatically. He was still bemoaning his fate and giving recited soliloquies to himself. It was clear that he was trying to lure out Wolf, who had went into another room to cool down.

It had been a little confusing and worrying earlier, but if it was love troubles, then he could completely understand!

Goon 3 leaned closer and pointed a thumb at Red Hood subtly. “Our boss is awesome and he knows almost everything, but he’s too gentlemanly to pursue Wolf!”

Goon 2 also leaned in. “And Wolf is just as bad! She does anything and everything to help him and they’ll flirt all the time, but I think the helmets are making them blind! They can’t see the fact that they both want to date each other even if it slaps them in the faces!"

"It's like watching a train wreck! They're so in love that it's disgusting but they're both too afraid to make the first move!"

They all glanced over, just as Wolf left the office room and approached Red Hood, who sat up eagerly to meet her. They talked quietly and then Wolf placed a hand on Red Hood's chest gently. Red Hood nodded happily and the tension eased.

Red Hood then turned to the rest of his gang, who were blatantly staring.

"Don't worry, children!" He said teasingly. "Your mother and I aren't divorcing anymore! We won't have to share custody!"

Wolf audibly groaned and slapped his arm, but Red Hood just laughed and corralled her to the office again, where they shut each other inside.

Everyone was silent. Then they all cheered loudly

Goon 1 stared at the closed door thoughtfully.

"... and you're sure they're not dating?" He asked through the screaming and cheers.

"Trust me, I'd sacrifice my firstborn to make them stop the flirty comments and lovesick looks."

[xy-is-i]

Just thinking about Dick freaking out over losing his title of best uncle to Jason.

Dick showing up to take Lian out and give Roy a break only to hear she's having a fun day with Jason

Dick walking into the room with the toy he knows Lian really wanted, only to find out Jason got it for her first.

Dick showing up to game night at Roy's only to find Jason already there.

Just Dick getting increasingly frustrated and his rival Jason having no clue well the the rest watch on in humor and exasperation. Roy finds the who thing hilarious.

Picturing it all coming to a head when Dick is babysitting Lian and she shows him a new photo they put up. Dick all dejectivly being like, "look, it's you and your favorite uncle."

The pure shock and joy he feels when Lian tells him he wrong and her favorite uncle is "you uncle Dickie, duh!"

The door opening and Lian shouting "Papa!" As dick turns to excitedly tell Roy what Lian said only to see it's Jason who's holding Lian.

Dick just bluescreening.

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

This is a mashup of various tropes. Don’t like don’t read. May include

- deaged danny

- Damian x Dani (serious chaos)

- dead Jazz

- dead Sam

- dead Tucker

- not-shit parent Vlad (kinda)

- the Waynes have a strength kink

So when Danny is 18 and have safely moved out, has financial security and can go no contact with his parents he decides to tell him that he’s Phantom.

It doesn’t go well.

By the time Jazz Sam and Tucker find him he is deaged to around 6. The fentonworks lab explodes.

Dani, who is 16 and was on her way to visit, came just in time to sift through the rubble and find Danny, who has only had enough memory to recognize her as his sister. She also finds three dead bodies. Jack and Maddie survived.

Scared and mourning, she takes Danny and runs to Vlad, who realizes how terrible and obsessed Jack and Maddie were and gives Dani lots of money to hide somewhere where the Jack and Maddie wouldn’t dare to look- at least not for a little while.

Gotham.

So she takes Danny and changes their names.

Elliot ‘Elle’ Jasmine Nightingale and Daniel James Nightingale, brothers and sister duo.

Dani- now Elle- still holds a grudge on Vlad, coupled with the Fenton stubbornness, she insists that she can pay rent/bills/groceries/etc. she gets an apartment in crime alley.

Because Elle doesn’t want to leave a paper trail, she does a less-than-legal job.

She joins a fight rink under the name of Phantasm.

And she’s great at it.

Shes spend the money on education for Danny, ignoring her education for the moment until Danny is old enough to join school.

Damian and Bruce were having major arguments, mostly about his violence and Damian quits being Robin and becomes Nocturne. (Bc I love that name)

He undercover a fight rink and thinks if he busts the rink Bruce will trust him enough.

He does recon and quickly realizes that one of the fighters was incredible, winning fight after fight without causing major injures to her opponents. Her name was Phantasm.

He decides that in order to find out more about her, he has to join undercover. It was only to take down the fight rink and learn more about the beautiful fighter that could bend him in half and nothing more.

Damian joins under the name of Ghoul and swipes some DNA from Elle, learns her (fake) name her (fake) backstory (family died in an heated lab explosion) but doesn’t understand why a chunk of her DNA was unreadable (ghost part of her DNA)

After a bit of digging, realized she didn’t attend school and the next morning Elle waked up to a letter starting that her full-ride scholarship to Gotham Academy has be approved (GA offers a afterschool care for students with younger siblings)

Elle never applied and is confused but accepts after Vlad, Ember, and Kitty convinced her.

She coincidentally is put in the most of the same classes as Damian, who she eventually crushes on befriends because he’s hot she’s suspicious of his faint and funky ecto signature.

So shenanigans include (not in this order and are optional)

- GALA where Vald announces her as Vlad Co heiress and the are invited to the gala and get a bit sus of Elle bc Vlad is sus

- JASON AS ELLE’S NEIGHBOR is actively trying to set up/prevent Damian and Elle getting together (either one works, as long as the plans fail comically)

- PRINCESS ELLE OF YHE INFINITE RELAMS + SUMMONING

- TALIA ATTEMPTING TO KIDNAP DANNY because he looked like Bruce/she wants another son and Elle absolutely beating her 7 different ways to Sunday and Talia telling Damian that she approves of her

- ELLE DESTABILIZING/GETTING REALLY SICK and Danny calls Damian in a panic because he knows Elle trusts him even if she won’t admit it

- ELLE GETS SAVED BY NOCTURNE and Elle instantly clocks him as Damian bc of his ecto signature and rips him a new one because look how vigilantism turned out for Danny

- THE BATFAM THINKING DANNY IS THE CLONE OF ELLE and investigating Cadmus, who could have ties to the GIW somehow

- ELLE BECOMING A SORT OF SERIAL KILLER to protect Danny (check the comments @emerald-fox-93 linked it :)))

- DASH BECOMING A GCPD COP AND HAVING TO ARREST ELLE because she killed someone who tried to kidnap Danny. Damian picks her up from the station after she calls him.

- PAULINA BECAME A LAYWER FOR WE bc I saw a post like that and it was fire. She eventually fights for the removal of the AEA (anti ecto acts)

- THE OTHER BATS GENUINELY BECOMING CONCERNED and began to think that Elle is mind-controlling Damian because he keeps brushing them off to hang out with her

- DAN JOINING THE JLA and calling up Elle when he needs her help and Damian being there and being like ‘wtf??’

Jack and Maddie eventually find Danny and Elle and Elle vanishes. Danny- who Elle hid when the Fentons stormed the apartment- calls Damian sobbing and pleading for him to find Elle because the bad people are going to hurt her.

Damian, knowing little to nothing about her situation, basically goes ballistic trying to find her. The family, titans, and the League gets involved because one 15 year old doesn’t realize he has a massive crush on his classmate. He calls up that every favors he is owed (and some that is not) so now basically almost the entire LOA is after a 15 year old girl who was kidnapped by the two mad scientists who are committing around 16 wars crimes.

They find her after the ghosts she’s Still in contact with realize she hasn’t texted in a while and they’ll help Damian on his manhunt

And because Elle is the high princess, the entire ghost zone is ready to help Damian get their princess/queen/regent back

Jack and Maddie never stood a chance.

Any more ideas?? Please tag me and comment 🙏 :))

[undertheredhood]

i’ll fight anyone who disagrees with me on this, but jason todd is the perfect example of the ‘didn’t know that they were dating’ trope.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Roy, sighing: This can only end one way.

Jason, nodding: Gay.

Roy: What was that?

Jason: SLAY. Murder. Crime.

Kori: Draw four.

Roy: Okay yeah, I’m with Jason.

Jason: please

[motleyfam]

Mocktail

It’s just an act.

The staggering around, the boisterous laughter, the flirtatious comments at passing servers… none of it is real. Bruce is just working the crowd, leaning into that stupid billionaire playboy persona to try and shmooze some information out of one of the other rich bastards here. It’s for a case that he and Robin have been working on—he’d even briefed Jason on the plan prior to their arrival. He’s not actually drunk.

Jason knows that.

Which is why Jason is so pissed at himself that he can’t keep his muscles from tensing up at the familiar boozy scent on his guardian’s breath when he leans in to whisper something in Jason’s ear, can’t stop his hands from instinctively balling into fists at his sides, can’t keep his eyes from darting around, searching desperately for an escape.

Bruce isn’t drunk. Jason knows that.

He knows that.

...So why can’t his body get the goddamn memo?

Bruce must have said something funny because the semicircle of businessmen surrounding him bursts into laughter. One man slaps Bruce jovially on the back, causing Bruce to stumble forwards, sloshing half his drink down the front of his suit and eliciting even more laughter from the group.

It’s the last straw.

Heart hammering, Jason ducks out of the crowd, head down, feet aiming for anywhere that isn’t here. It’s stupid, it’s so fucking stupid because he’s fine, nothing is wrong, Bruce isn’t even drunk. And even if he were, so what? People get drunk all the fucking time and the vast majority of them manage to keep their fists to themselves, their family’s bank accounts from zeroing out, their tongues from cutting lashes into everyone they love.

He ends up sitting at one of the empty tables near the back of the ballroom, stabbing angrily at a piece of raspberry white chocolate cake with his dessert fork, because he’s Robin for god’s sake, he interacts with drunk people practically every night. Why the fuck is he freaking out now?

“So how’s baby’s first gala?”

Jason glances up, then immediately scowls. “What do you want, Dickhead.”

Dick lets out a low whistle. “Damn. That bad, huh?”

Jason gives him a withering look. “Fuck off.”

“Why?” Dick snorts. “So you can mutilate more raspberries?”

“I’ll mutilate your face…” Jason grumbles, raking his fork through the frosting like some kind of crappy zen garden.

Dick’s grin falters. “Jay,” he says seriously. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“No,” Jason snaps. “Go away.”

“Because if someone’s being inappropriate—”

“Nothing fucking happened, okay?!”

“Okay, okay!” He holds his hands up placatingly. “Don’t have to bite my head off.”

“I’m fine,” Jason growls, stabbing at the cake again.

“I can see that,” Dick deadpans.

Jason glares back.

Dick lets out a sigh. “Look, you don’t have to talk to me—”

“No shit.”

“—but there’s a 24-hour froyo place two blocks away.”

Jason blinks. “What.”

“Wanna get out of here?”

There’s a beat.

“...Fine," Jason relents. "But you’re buying.”

[babydipper]

Jason didn't think he would ever wear a comm again, but here he is, fighting some shitheads while answering a phone call. Jazz calls a lot and most of the time, he needs both his hands when she does, so he took the measures needed and put a fucking comm into his mask.

“When are you back?” Jazz asks, the sound of running water soft in the background.

“Why? Miss me?” he pants, sending a thug to a wall and helping another one onto the floor with a precise kick.

He doesn’t have to see her to know she's rolling her eyes. He dodges a blow. “You said you'd be here by eight and it's already quarter to nine. I made dinner, Red.”

It's not like it's his fault people want to use his drugs for human trafficking. If the deal went the way he intended it to go, then he would have been back already. “I can reheat it,” he snaps, irritated, because there's too many men he wants to kill around him now and Jazz is distracting him enough to have some punches land on his body.

She's not impressed. “There's a new episode of The Circle.”

“Okay?” It's not his fucking problem and she's not his fucking responsibility.

“I want to watch it before work today.”

“Have fun?”

Jazz sighs. “Half of the point is to watch it with you.” She has finally finished with the dishes because the water has stopped. Jason trips and almost falls, but manages to land with grace and mask it as a way to dodge a bullet. Jazz promptly ignores the shoot out. “If you tell me you've been watching without me, you're sleeping on the couch.”

Jason chuckles mid kick, a knife in thug's palm. It's a good one. Jazz can be funny sometimes when she doesn't make him want to kill her or himself. “No, I am not,” he goes, even if he is. It's his turn, so she gets the bedroom.

“Stop picking two fights at the same time.”

“Why? Are you going to punish me or something?”

“Oh my god, I am hanging up. You are the absolute worst.” Jason is straight up laughing now, the bubble of green, sticky anger swallowed in the pleasant sensation. “When are you going to be back?”

“Forty minutes, top.”

“Okay. Have fun, be safe,” she goes before hanging up.

And when she does, Jason finally gets out his guns. It would be so fucking useless to talk through the sounds of the bullets.

[flamingpudding]

Inherited Driving

A/N: Credits also to @escelia 💖 Thanks for helping flash out this idea even more!!

Bruce Wayne was going crazy about Gotham's newest rogue. He stared at the open case file, the reports were laid out all over the table. On the Batcomputer various images were displayed. Images from bent light posts, street sights that were found three blocks from their original position, buildings that were missing chunks of their walls, and even buildings that had distinct car-shaped holes.

Next to that various reports were open about hit-and-run cases. None appeared to be connected. All the victims appeared to be chosen at random, good or bad didn't matter. No connections. Mugger, Politicians, other rogues, or even his children when on patrol. And then there were also reports of apparently people going insane claiming they had seen a silver car come right at them but never hit them.

He looked at the reports of his children.

Jason complains about a drug deal busted by a car bursting in and nearly ruined it for him by knocking out the main targets before crashing through the opposite wall.

Tim claimed that the corrupted CEO he had been investigating both as Red Robin as well as Tim Drake-Wayne got run over on the open streets and was now hospitalized.

But the most absurd reports came from Dick and Duke.

Dick one night reported that a silver car barely missed him while out on patrol. Nothing strange so far. If his son hadn't reported that he was jumping over roofs when it happened.

And Duke? He just reported that he felt like he had a near-death experience and saw his life flashing before his eyes. The cause? A glowing car came straight at him.

Bruce gripped his hair in frustration. This new rogue didn't make sense. They went for bad guys but also good guys? What was their pattern? The connection? Their goal? Was he lucky that none of his other children had so far encountered them on patrol?

They appeared at night as well as during the day.

Who was going to be the next target? Would it be one of his kids or possibly another corrupted politician or maybe even a mugger again next?

Tim had specifically created software to keep track of this rogue in the news or any online posts. Barbara was not able to get any video feeds or photos of this rogue for some reason. All images or videos found for the areas of his appearance were either entirely static or corrupted to the point of unrecognizability. He didn't even have the damned silver car's license plate!

Then there was the car driver's description from witnesses, which also varied from person to person. One stated him to be black-haired and blue-eyed looking like a tired College Student, another stated the man had white hair and green glowing eyes and lastly a more crazy person stated it was like an Eldritch being possessing the car.

The software peeped and Bruce turned to click on it, a news article appeared and the man groaned at what he read.

Breaking news: Scarecrow in custody after getting hit by car through Starbucks!

Witnesses say that during what was shaping up to be a fear gas attack, the driver hit the man before swerving through the front window of a Starbucks.After confirming everyone was okay, the baristas on shift gave the driver an iced coffee and a croissant while waiting for the police to arrive on scene. One employee even insisted this reckless driver saved their lives. [...]

Bruce closed the news, not reading any further and ready to slam his head onto the table. Who was this rogue?

Danny blinked at the newspaper in his hand, sipping his coffee and wondering who that driver was. He would have to be more careful now on the streets with a driver like that, that's fine. Jazz wouldn't probably call him soon again to nag about these crazy drivers Gotham appeared to have. She had been naggingly worried ever since he started going to college here. He just had to assure her that he would be even more careful to not get involved. Though his parents had already reinforced his car as a stay-safe-son measure. So he would just have to get in the car, drive from point A to point B and not hit anyone or anything like his parents.

He glanced at his kitchen clock and spat out his morning coffee.

"Shit! I am going to be late for my classes!"

In a rush he grabed his keys and ran to his car. He needed to hurry if he wanted to be there in time without upsetting his professor. Good that he learned about some pretty neat short cuts from his classmates.