#numbers in the range 20-29

[rosewind2007]

Numbers in the 20-29 range in the Murderbot Diaries:

This is such an only of interest to me kind of thing, but I like the number 27 and I’d noticed that Martha Wells seems to, when looking for a number between twenty and twenty-nine, prefer twenty-seven too: or so I thought

There are fifty-seven (57) mentions of words involving the word “twenty” in the Murderbot Diaries. Given that from twenty to twenty-nine there are possible ten such words, if they were randomly distributed you’d expect about five or six of each. In fact there are twenty-one (21) uses of **twenty**, which is a lot more than you expect.

BUT! I was right that for a number which isn’t twenty involving twenty- then Martha Wells really likes twenty-seven: it comes in second with eleven (11) mentions!

Yay me!

The numbers may be a little wrong, corrections welcome 😀

[pillowspace]

(Note: I'm leaving options outside of the mid-late 20s range for the possibility of anyone who may have not known about the range before forming a headcanon, have disregarded it, or for other reasons)

[kurishiri]

are there any official ages or age ranges for the ikemen villains characters? 🤔

expect updates and edits!

helloo anon! i dont think official ages have been posted, but they have dropped some info so we could make some guesses or ballpark ages. jus be aware as a disclaimer, i’m ballparking in the dark for some more than others, so don’t take my word as the be all, end all. there r probably others with more accurate ideas abt ages. but that said, i’ll try to provide as much explanation as i can under the cut bc spoilers-

ellis: 24

kate: at least 24, maybe around 25-26

ring, nica: 25-27 (?)

liam: 26

jude: 26-29

william: 28

elbie: 29-30

alfons: 30-31

harrison: likely 27-30, but could in all technicality be anywhere from 20-31

roger: 32, as the median

darius: ??? likely a bit older than the twins but the possibility of being the same age or younger than them isnt completely off the table either

victor: ??? but probably the oldest one in crown

explanations under the cut

ellis is the youngest member of crown. he was 12 when he ran away from home, and that was 12 years ago. hence, that would make him 24

kate calls ellis with the —kun honorific in japanese as he is her kōhai (junior), so kate is older than 24. but as ellis is the only one she uses this honorific with in crown, she may be the 2nd or 3rd youngest

liam was 9 when he set fire on his house and lost his parents, and it was mentioned his dad was supposed to be dead 17 years ago, hence making liam 26

if ellis is 24, then roger is probably around 32— we know bc alec, the previous bearer for the curse of the thorns, died when he was 8 or 9 at the oldest. in roger’s rt its implied that one is born with a curse and is first activated from an event, and no two ppl can have the same curse simultaneously, so ellis was born (and received the curse of the thorns) after alec died. so we know from there that roger could be around 8, 9 years older than ellis

it was mentioned roger is slightly older than alfons, though there is not a solid concrete number as to by how many years, but it’s around 2 to 3 years difference

jude is definitely older than ellis, though presumably not by many years. and although this is an if event, in his dark if, kate mentions that jude is a boy around her age. if we give some leeway into that and assuming that part also applies to canon, then he would probably be around 26, if kate is around 26. it is also mentioned when oswald, the doctor who saved jude, was talking about jude’s past, he was talking about a time around 20 years ago, and kate thinks to herself he couldn’t have been older than 10. this puts a cap at jude being 29 in present time.

elbies mom took her own life when he was 6, and that’s around when the doctor started examining his dad. if alfons was still on the streets at 7 years old (implied in rogers past records), he was taken in by the doctor after he was 7. it would make alfons a little older than elbie, but its unknown by how long, but not too many years

i feel in general, alfons age is a bit wishy washy considering we dont even know his “true birthday” .. he jus picked a date (specifically the day he met elbie!) and was like “ye thats my bday now 🙂‍↕️”

will was 14 when he formed crown with victor (it’s unknown how old victor was), and 14 years have since passed. this would make will 28

heavily corrected: harrison’s dad was killed when he was 17, and that happened when william and victor were the only two members of crown. so it could have happened when crown was just founded 14 years ago, making harry possibly 31. and elbie and al were probably the first ones to join crown, for sure at least 3, 4 years ago. that would set the actual age range to 20-31. but he is likely at least 27, considering kate doesn’t use —kun with him, if we assume she’s around 26

now the twins and darius r probably like the most wishy washy guesses out of all of them. for one there’s just not much info abt them out bc theyre v new chars. buut there is some tinie clues.

there is a scene in rogers rt where he asks nica if they met before, and nica replies that he forgot. now it is just as likely that nika is lying here (as its implied he has a good memory), maybe bc he doesnt want to talk abt it or it may also be for ring, but if he is truthful then its probably the case that it was from a time when he was too young to really remember anything, which would probably make him somewhat considerably younger than roger

on rings end, during the “don’t look at anyone but me” event, ring basically asks kate to not be so formal and feels weirded out she uses —san with him (.. as she does with nearly everyone else, with exception of ellis, i think liam, and for one time only, alfons). maybe a part of it is like its in his char to not like formalities, but on the other hand, he never asks alfons to drop —san or use a different honorific with him the same way he did with kate, in the crown vs vogel event. so it may be a reasonable assumption to make that ring may be similar in age to kate .. or at least, more similar in age to kate than he is with alfons. so i ballparked them around 25-27

darius is kind of a mystery— we do know that he has, in some way, saved the twins in the past (presumably from experimentation), so the twins r indebted to him. its probably reasonable to think he is older than the twins .. probably in his 30s even?

that said, seeing as he is of a noble upbringing, as he mentioned this in one of his bond stories where hes like “ik how table manners work bc its been taught to me but i jus choose not to apply them” or smth along those lines. so he could be capable of “saving the twins” even when younger than them or the same age as them if that makes sense

ty to friends @.natimiles, @.valkyyriia, @.candiedcoffeedrops, @.drachonia, @.memoria-99, @.romromi, @.groovylita, @.shatcey, @.dark-frosted-heart who have helped with this! also if anyone else has any more info to drop — or correct — feel free to lmk! i will be sure to credit :>

[taylorswifttournament]

Okay I posted this question on my main but it didn't really go anywhere and I want better results so

I feel like a disproportionate number of people I know have birthdays in the 20-29 range and I need to know if this is A Thing�� or if it's just my life that's weird

[workersolidarity]

[ 📹 A Palestinian family returns to their shattered home in the northern Gaza Strip despite the widespread destruction and continued bombardment by the Israeli occupation army on all axis of the enclave.]

🇮🇱⚔️🇵🇸 🚀🏘️💥🚑 🚨

DAY 212 OF "ISRAEL'S" GENOCIDE: NETANYAHU REFUSES TO NEGOTIATE END TO WAR AS MASS SLAUGHTER OF CIVILIANS CONTINUES UNABATED

On the 212th day of "Israel's" ongoing special genocide operation in the Gaza Strip, the Israeli occupation forces (IOF) committed a total of three new massacres of Palestinian families, resulting in the deaths of no less than 29 Palestinian civilians, mostly women and children, while another 110 others were wounded over the previous 24-hours.

It should be noted that as a result of the constant Israeli bombardment of Gaza's healthcare system, infrastructure, residential and commercial buildings, local paramedic and civil defense crews are unable to reach countless hundreds, even thousands of victims who remain trapped under the rubble, or who's bodies remain strewn across the streets of Gaza.

This leaves the official death toll vastly undercounted, as Gaza's healthcare officials are unable to accurately tally those killed and maimed in this genocide, which must be kept in mind when considering the scale of the mass murder.

In today's news, Israeli occupation Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, refuses to negotiate an end to the war, despite the Palestinian Resistance's flexibility in negotiations.

The occupation leader said on Sunday that he will not agree to an end to the war and the withdrawal of all occupation forces from the Gaza Strip, a top demand of the Hamas Resistance movement, with the occupation's Prime Minister describing a withdrawal as "surrender".

"Hamas is fortified in its extreme positions," Netanyahu said to the Hebrew media, thereby "obstructing the release of our hostages."

Netanyahu claimed that the release of the hostages being held by Hamas in Gaza is "at the forefront of our minds," however, the Israeli occupation is unwilling to pay the price for a deal with Hamas to "leave Hamas intact, end the war and to withdraw the IDF forces from the Strip."

In response to the Israeli occupation's unwillingness to compromise, the Hamas Resistance movement's military arm, the Al-Qassam Brigades launched a rocket mortar attack on the Kherem Shalom settlement, adjacent to the southernmost tip of Gaza, launched from somewhere in Rafah, in the southern Gaza Strip.

The rocket attack wounded at least 7 Israelis, with the Palestinian media describing the wounded as "occupation soldiers" while the Hebrew media described the wounded as "people," making it unclear who exactly was wounded in the strike.

According to the Hebrew media, an air raid alarm sounded after the firing of several rockets from Rafah at around 1:30pm local time, after which, paramedic crews arrived on the scene, treating 7 wounded, 3 in critical condition, who were taken to Soroka Hospital in Beersheba.

The Hebrew media added that the Israeli occupation army responded to the rocket strike with a barrage of tank fire and airstrikes on the Rafah area, and also responded by closing the border crossing to humanitarian aid trucks.

According to the Al-Qassam Brigades, they launched a mortar rocket attack on the Kerem Shalom settlement using a number of 114mm short-range "Rajoum" missiles, wounding 7 Israeli occupation soldiers.

At the same time as the strike occured in the south, around 20 rockets were fired from southern Lebanon into settlements in the north of the occupied Palestinian territories, wounding an older man in Kiryat Shmona with shrapnel.

In other news, despite the ongoing massacres in the Gaza Strip, Palestinian Orthodox Christians in Gaza celebrated Easter today despite the subdued atmosphere, as is described in the local Palestinian media.

At the Orthodox Church of Saint Porphyrius in Gaza City, at least 100 Palestinian Christian families gathered for prayers and religious rituals without festivities, according to Imad al-Sayegh, Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Gaza Churches Union.

Al-Sayegh, alongside dozens of other families, sought shelter in the Church, telling the media that "sadness pervades the atmosphere inside the church, as it does outside, leaving no room for joy and celebration amidst the immense destruction, continuous shelling and casualties."

Traditionally, the Holy Fire is transported from the Holy Sepulchre in occupied Al-Quds (Jersusalem) to churches across the region and around the world amid festive celebrations.

However, this year the Israeli occupation did not permit the entry of the Holy Fire to Gaza's Christian Orthodox Churches, instead choosing to pretend to American media that Christian churches do not exist in Gaza because, they claim, "Hamas" doesn't permit it, which is patently and provably untrue.

Meanwhile, mass slaughter of Palestinian civilians continued unabated in the Gaza Strip, where the Israeli occupation army hammered several residential areas in various sectors of the Gaza Strip, using a combination of American-made dumb bombs, artillery shelling and missile strikes to target residential homes and apartment buildings.

The slaughter started on Saturday with a number of bombings targeting the southern Gazan city of Rafah.

According to local sources, the occupation military conducted an airstrike on a residential home in the village of al-Shoka, southeast of the city of Rafah, killing three Palestinians civilians, including two children, while several others were wounded in the strike.

Another occupation airstrike targeted a gathering of civilians in the Abasan Al-Kabira neighborhood, south of Khan Yunis, in the southern Gaza Strip, wounding several people who were transported to the European Gaza Hospital for treatment.

The occupation's atrocities continued elsewhere, with the Israeli occupation's artillery shelling targeting the Wadi Al-Arayes quarter, east of the Al-Zaytoun neighborhood, southeast of Gaza City, resulting in the deaths a mother and her two children, and also wounding the family's father.

At the same time, Zionist occupation warplanes bombed a residential building in the Al-Mufti area, north of the Al-Nuseirat Refugee Camp, in the central Gaza Strip, obliterating the building and wounding a number of civilians.

The slaughter of innocent civilians continued into Sunday morning, as Orthodox Christians gathered for prayers and rituals at Gaza's few remaining churches, many of which were bombed early in the war.

IOF warplanes bombed two residential homes in Rafah, in southern Gaza, including a home belonging to the Bahloul family, in the Al-Salam neighborhood, east of Rafah, killing and wounding several people.

A previous airstrike in the same neighborhood targeted the Al-Sha'er family home, destroying the house and killing three Palestinian civilians.

Occupation fighter jets then targeted the town of Al-Zawaida, in the central Gaza Strip, followed by hammering agricultural lands with bombings in the neighboring Al-Maghazi Refugee Camp.

At the same time, Zionist forces conducted airstrikes targeting a site in the Al-Geneina neighborhood, east of Rafah City, in the south of Gaza, while occupation aircraft also fired missiles towards the eastern neighborhoods of the Al-Bureij and Maghazi Refugee Camps, along with the city of Deir al-Balah in the central Gaza Strip.

The bombardment went on with yet another series of airstrikes targeting the Al-Zaytoun, Tal al-Hawa, and Sheikh Ajlin neighborhoods of Gaza City, resulting in the death of a civilian and also wounding several others.

Israeli occupation warships also fired heavy machine gun fire towards the fisherman's port and the Al-Shati Refugee Camp, west of Gaza City, and also targeted beaches west of Rafah City.

Yet another attack by occupation fighter jets targeted a gathering of civilians in the Nuseirat Camp, in the central Gaza Strip, killing at least one Palestinian.

Simultaneously, Israeli occupation forces demolished Palestinian homes in the Al-Mughraqa, Al-Zahra'a, and Wadi Gaza Bridge areas of central Gaza.

The Israeli occupation also announced the assassination of Ayman Zorob, a commander with the Al-Quds Brigades, belonging to Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ).

Occupation warplanes also bombed a residential home belonging to photographer Hassan Aslih, south of Khan Yunis, in the southern Gaza Strip.

Yet another bombing of Khan Yunis targeted the Al-Farouq Mosque in the Khan Yunis Camp, and another targeted the Nouh Mosque east of Khan Yunis, resulting in several casualties.

As a result of "Israel's" ongoing special genocide operation in the Gaza Strip, the death toll among the local population has risen to exceed 34'683 Palestinians killed, including over 14'500 children and 9'500 women, while another 78'018 others have been wounded since the start of the current round of Zionist aggression, beginning with the events of October 7th, 2023.

May 5th, 2024

#source1

#source2

#source3

#source4

#source5

#source6

#source7

#source8

#videosource

@WorkerSolidarityNews

[hd-hurtcomfort-fest]

***FEST STATS & SPECIAL CALLOUTS***

Hello y'all! We give you our last official post for HD Hurt/Comfort Fest 2024 - a breakdown of fest numbers and special callouts. We've also got the answer key for the crossword (under the cut).

***FEST NUMBERS***

We had a total of 34 submissions [LISTED HERE] distrubuted amongst our three tropes thus:

Angst - 6 [LISTED HERE]

Fluff - 12 [LISTED HERE]

Hurt/Comfort - 16 [LISTED HERE]

We had three varieties of submissions:

PODFIC - 2 total; 1 hurt/comfort & 1 fluff ranging in time from 10-20mins to 4-4.5hrs

ART - 3 total; 2 hurt/comfort & 1 fluff, all gorgeous

FANFIC - 29 total with a combined word count of 510,966!! The shortest fic is 1044 words; the longest is 59,474 words

A breakdown of major archive warnings:

Creator Chose Not to Use: 4

Graphic Depictions of Violence: 2

MCD: 2

No Archive Warnings: 26

Underage: 1

A breakdown of ratings:

E: 19

M: 10

T: 6

G: 4

A visual representation of the most used tags

***FEST CALLOUTS***

Thank you to @basiatlu for creating all the banners and the icon for our fest. Your work is phenomenal and we are delighted still. You are a gem!

A special shout out to our all-star AO3 commenters! All fest works have recieved many wonderful comments, but these four indivduals commented on nearly every submission during the fest run - logging at least 20(+) comments each (a little over 100 comments in total): blueheart_V, @acanadianmuggle, @lizziedrip, and @daydreamingfoxglove!

We have been blown away by the support for our fest, and one contributing factor we'd like to highlight is visibility. We wanted to give a huge thanks to @loves-to-read-fanfic & @lizziedrip for reblogging nearly every one of our fest posts. There are many others liking and reblogging - we see you and appreciate you! We also want to mention @drarryspecificrecsdaily for including our fest works in their daily roundups during posting. Thank you all! Mwah!

***GUESSING GAME WINNER!***

AND THE WINNER(S) ARE...

🥇 ✨ @kamaela ✨

🥈 @rainjulyx

🥉 @mallstars

@kamaela matched the most creators with their works with 14! You win first pick of prompts should you choose to participate as a creator in the fest in 2025! Thank you to everyone who participated!

And that's a wrap!

Thanks again for an amazing first year! See you in 2025!

Your HD Hurt/Comfort Fest Mods, @orangepellets, @peachpety, @vukovich

CROSSWORD ANSWER KEY BELOW THE CUT

[pandemic-info]

Web App: A guideline to limit indoor airborne transmission of COVID-19

This web app is based on this 2021 study: A guideline to limit indoor airborne transmission of COVID-19

The Six-Foot Rule is a social distancing recommendation by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, based on the assumption that the primary vector of pathogen transmission is the large drops ejected from the most vigorous exhalation events, coughing and sneezing (5, 19). Indeed, high-speed visualization of such events reveals that 6 ft corresponds roughly to the maximum range of the largest, millimeter-scale drops (20). Compliance to the Six-Foot Rule will thus substantially reduce the risk of such large-drop transmission. However, the liquid drops expelled by respiratory events are known to span a considerable range of scales, with radii varying from fractions of a micron to millimeters (11, 21).

There is now overwhelming evidence that indoor airborne transmission associated with relatively small, micron-scale aerosol droplets plays a dominant role in the spread of COVID-19 (4, 5, 7, 17–19, 22), especially for so-called “superspreading events” (25–28), which invariably occur indoors (29).

...

Finally, the fact that face mask directives have been more effective than either lockdowns or social distancing in controlling the spread of COVID-19 (22, 33) is consistent with indoor airborne transmission as the primary driver of the global pandemic.

This won't be news to anyone who already understands that COVID is airborne, and that minimizing viral load as much as possible via layered protection (vax + ventilation & filtration + well-fitted masks (n95)) is key to avoiding the worst possible outcomes — severe acute disease and post-acute damage.

Nevertheless it might be interesting to see it spelled out. With the IMPORTANT caveat that it shouldn't be taken too literally: i.e. you're neither perfectly safe nor totally at risk if the numbers are above or below these thresholds.

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Promptacular]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) 6: cold (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

'Wasn't it sunny two weeks ago?' John grumbles, taking a too-big gulp of too-hot tea as the usual outside chaos of a Monday morning in London is superceded by-- for fuck's sake-- snow.

His personal chaos, though, is (perhaps predictably) worsened by it.

Sherlock doesn't look up from where he's feeding Rosie from a beaker of scrambled eggs. 'Why is it that people insist on asking inane questions about the weather?'

John turns his eyes heavenward, then crosses to put his mug in the sink. 'I cannot wait until Rosie grows up so I can have a normal conversation with someone,' he mutters.

Sherlock makes a derisive noise. 'Rosamund is not normal nor should she aspire to be. And she is already conversant.'

As if on cue, a sound resembling the word 'Snow!' squeals into the kitchen air.

'That's correct, Ms Watson. 'Snow day.'

'Snow day!' Rosie repeats enthusiastically, flinging her hands in the air. John casually moves the beaker out of flight range. Eggs are relatively easy to clean up, but still.

He looks towards the windows, where the curtains have been pushed back to reveal that brightness that only comes with snow. 'There's barely half an inch out there, you know.'

'Doesn't matter,' Sherlock insists. 'Snow day, it is.'

'Her nursery is still open,' John puts in.

'Snow day!' Rosie yells again.

'I have to go into the clinic,' he tries. The thought of leaving now, though, makes him even grumpier than just the fact of it being a Monday morning with snow on the ground.

Sherlock leans into Rosie. 'What do you think, Rosamund? Don't you agree it's rubbish that your father insists on keeping hours at that dirty place?'

John rolls his eyes. 'Always nice to see your snobbery in full force, then.'

'Nonsense, I'm just stating a fact.'

'Rosie brings home shedloads of germs from nursery every day, Sherlock.'

'All the more reason for you to stop working, cut the number of foreign bodies by half.'

'Sherlock, what--' But John stops, mind stumbling to a conclusion as he stares at Sherlock. Whose neck is starting to redden.

'Never mind,' the detective says, clearly trying to sound neutral but failing. 'Go forth and remain part of the toiling masses.' He plucks Rosie up and takes her over to the window. 'We'll be here having all the fun, we won't miss you at all.'

John pauses, wavering. He puts his coat on, listening as Sherlock and Rosie chat in a language only they understand.

Then he stands up straight, and goes to kiss his daughter goodbye.

Her cheek is soft, her mouth gummy yet sharp with tiny teeth. 'Well,' he says, smoothing back her hair but looking only at Sherlock. 'I cannot say the same will be true for me.'

Sherlock's eyes widen almost imperceptibly. But John's not ready to say more, so he nods once, and makes his way out into the snow.

[ <3 ]

[scarletlizzard]

So apparently I hit 500 followers? Thank you to everyone who follows and has interacted with my fics!! 🥳

I thought this would be fun to celebrate? I have a list of random dialogue that y'all could pick from to send me. Ranges from everywhere to fluff, angst, NSFW, etc. And I'll write a little short something for it!

Feel free to pick a number or few to send or you could be specific with who you want or a specific trope or plot. Anything!

Thank y'all so much, made my whole day 💕

104 Dialogue Prompts

1. "Admit it... you're in love with me."

2. "We could get arrested for this."

3. "I thought you were dead."

4. "I've missed this."

5. "You could've died."

6. "Who did this to you?"

7. "I know, I know, I'm sorry... it'll be over soon, I promise."

8. "Come back to bed."

9. "How long has it been since you slept?"

10. "Tell me where you are, I'll come get you."

11. "I still love you."

12. "Such a good girl."

13. "Open your mouth for me, baby."

14. "We have to make this quick."

15. "Beg for it."

16. "Mommy?"

17. "You're in love with them. Aren't you?"

18. "It was you? This whole time?"

19. "You know, just cause you're older don't think for one second I'm not in charge."

20. "Smile at me like that again, I'll fall in love with you."

21. "... is that a trick question?"

22. "Don't just stand there, say something."

23. "Say that again, I dare you."

24. "Fuck you." "Right now?"

25. "I'm joking! Unless..."

26. "You take me so well."

27. "What do you mean I'm dead? I'm standing right here."

28. "Please, I'm begging you. Just hear me out."

29. "Oh fuck... I'm in love with (x)." "You're just now realizing that?"

30. "What if you didn't go? What if you stayed?"

31. "You like it rough, don't you, slut?"

32. "Flowers?"

33. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

34. "Fuck, marry, kill..."

35. "Truth or dare?"

36. "Since when did you ever care about me?"

37. "You think I wanted this to happen? You think I wanted to fall in love with you?"

38. "May I have this dance?"

39. "I know I'm the last person you want to see, but..."

40. "I'm done! I am done waiting for you."

41. "It's okay, you're okay, I'm here. I've got you."

42. "Touch her again and see what happens."

43. "Is that a hickey?"

44. "I'm fine, it's just a bruise..."

45. "I'm going to fucking kill them."

46. "Are you sure about this?"

47. "Why are you all sweaty?"

48. "You left! You left and you didn't even think to look back. What was I supposed to do?"

49. "Well... this is awkward."

50. "You know I've been flirting with you this whole time right?"

51. "They'll never love you the way I did."

52. "If you're trying to make me jealous, it's working."

53. "Wanna bet?"

54. "Just say that you want me and I'm yours."

55. "I'm going to ruin you for anyone else."

56. "Wait you've never kissed a girl?"

57. "Where did all this attitude come from, princess?"

58. "Take my hand."

59. "Can I have your number?"

60. "You're an idiot." "Well yes, you'll have to be more specific."

61. "Quick! Pretend to be my girlfriend?"

62. "Run away with me."

63. "Are you going to be a good girl for mommy?"

64. "That collar looks so good on your pretty neck."

65. "Too bad, you're going to take every last fucking inch of me."

66. "Do you ever think before speaking?"

67. "Count them for me."

68. "You snore."

69. "Let's try that position." (I know, I know)

70. "Bullshit! You're telling me you just don't blush?" "Nope, never."

71. "Just tell her how you feel." "I'd rather get shot again."

72. "Oh my god are you okay?" "Yeah I'm fine, I've been stabbed before."

73. "Daddy?"

74. "Can't we go back to how things used to be?"

75. "Save a horse ride a cowgirl, amiright?"

76. "I like you. A lot."

77. "Is that the best you can do?"

78. "I'll consider kissing you if you can beat me."

79. "Please, pull the trigger."

80. "I'm not drunk enough for this."

81. "You can't run away from this forever."

82. "I know you're having nightmares again."

83. "Would you like me to whisper it in your ear?"

84. "Stop looking at me like that."

85. "Somebody's cranky." "Somebody needs to shut the fuck up."

86. "Get on your knees."

87. "How stupid do you think I am? Don't answer that."

88. "I can't sleep."

89. "Just relax, let me make you feel good."

90. "Close the door."

91. "Was that supposed to hurt?"

92. "I've wanted this for so long."

93. "You can do better than that. Beg for it."

94. "Controlling? Oh I'll show you controlling."

95. "You drive me fucking crazy!"

96. "Nobody needs to know."

97. "Take another step and you'll be dead before you open your fucking mouth again."

98. "Do they always look like that?" "Just when (x) is around."

99. "I made you a playlist."

100. "I know you said you would die for me but I didn't think you meant that literally!"

101. "Is that... blood?" "Huh? Oh yeah! Oh I'm fine it's not mine."

102. "Why are you always looking at me like that?" "Like what?"

103. "Hero? Please. You heroes have to win every time. But being the villain? I only have to win once."

104. "You've changed." "You haven't."

[a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten]

Undertale Yellow Character Age Headcanons

I did something like this for my SequenceShift AU, but I wanted to do one for UTY proper. So, I decided to do that, with some reasonings as to why I think that way.

Clover, I imagine being in the 10-12 range. The Honeydew Shopkeeper mentions that Clover doesn't seem to be highschool aged yet, so that rules out being a teenager. On the other hand, they don't seem to act really young across the story, so I think Preteen is a good age estimate.

Dalv gives of 19- or 20-year-old vibes. He always came off as someone old enough to live off on his own, but still fairly young. Martlet I imagine being 21-22 largely for the same reasons as Dalv. Thought it'd be funny if she was a year or two older than him, since she's also taller than he is.

For the Feisty Five, I'm gonna kinda roughly do them all at once.

It's said that they're all Starlo's friends from Highschool/College (don't remember which it was) so I imagine them being around the same age. When I first played, I used to imagine Starlo and Ceroba in their mid-late thirties, but in retrospective, neither of them 'feel' like 30-year-olds and the Feisty Four definitely don't either (maybe Ace but otherwise), so I went back a bit to fit everyone in this group being roughly in the same age category.

Ceroba I put as the oldest, being 29. Not really old, but still a reasonable enough age to be the mother of a young child.

Starlo I went with just a bit younger, being 27. Still close enough in age to be Ceroba's childhood friend and not super old either.

Ed I settled on being 28, since I thought it'd be funny if he was older than his boss.

Moray I went with 25. No particular reason, just kinda fits. Ace I went with 26, same reason as Moray.

Mooch is a bit of a stretch, but I went with her being 24 and just acting immature instead of her being an actual child. I know, the whole fact that she's banned from drinking adult soda. Personally, however, I think it'd be funnier if the reason instead was Mooch isn't able to hold her liquor.

I think that roughly puts each of the Five within the same age range and makes it reasonable for them to be friends from school.

Chujin I went with 30 before dying from injecting Mountain Dew Voltage into his soul, just to keep him in the same range as Ceroba. Kanako I settled with being 8 years old at the time of getting the blue juice. From what little is seen/heard of her, I got the vibes of her being younger than 10 years old, but not like super young, so I thought that'd be a good number.

And that settles the main characters (except for Axis, I couldn't think up anything. He's a robot so IDK if it really matters). I can take a shot at secondary characters if you guys would like.

Otherwise, lemme know what you think of these age placements. if you don't agree with them, feel free to let me know what you see them as instead.

[michaelrotonal]

i can feel the personalities of numbers

i'll randomly generate some numbers from 1 to 100

23 - prime boi. not even tryin to hide it.

28 - how dare you be divisible by both 4 and 7. it just doesn't feel right

13 - definitely prime. sorta reminds me of 91. we'll get to that later

5 - 5 is just 5. too small to actually feel like a prime

21 - blackjack boi. divisible by 7

77 - why doesn't he feel divisible by 7

85 - haha eighty and five? you just can't make this up. doesn't look divisible by any number other than five

67 - this prime keeps visiting me when i play DIVE. can it stop

51 - composite wearing a paper-thin prime mask. like bro i can see that you're divisible by 3

27 - cube bois unite

70 - weird

27 - again? wh- i just did this one

77 - definitely divisible by 11. sorta feels divisible by 7

16 - is that 16 from hit game 2048?

98 - bro is two times seven squared. just needs two more.

77 - this is the third time i've gotten 77

90 - divisible by so many things

69 - nice. clearly divisible by 3 though

99 - clearly 9 times 11

19 - prime sandwiched between very composite numbers (18 and 20)

91 - composite wearing a cardboard-thin prime mask. only way you can tell he isn't prime is noticing that 91 = 100-9 = 10^2-3^2 = (10-3)(10+3) = 7*13

88 - hmm, eh, no? you can't do that

75 - a real threeven over here. with its five's divisibility it can go anywhere

24 - feels so good. so many factors

56 - 7 by 8. how could anyone ever confuse him with 54

69 - nice 2

99 - friends with %. try to keep him away

48 - woah that's a lot of factors. that's like. ten factors

20 - very practical.

46 - bro is clearly just double a prime

56 - hey wait you're the number of partitions of 11

24 - pretty factorizable. sure do love having factors.

34 - clearly double 17

78 - i can feel the 13-ness and the evenness but not really the 3-ness but definitely the 6-ness

25 - 24's neighbor. nice big square

93 - 3 times 31, not even trying to hide it

10 - why does he get to have the 0 symbol. he isn't divisible like 0 is

98 - i already did this one

36 - definitely triangular. definitely square. definitely not triangular and square

44 - ooh an elevener. haven't had one of those in a while

42 - 8 factors, but just took the idea from 30. literally just 2 by 3 by 7 instead of 2 by 3 by 5

29 - nice prime

89 - nice big prime

26 - feels definitely 13-y

28 - supposedly perfect. how can you be perfect when you're a multiple of 7. you gotta be smooth

50 - smoother than 28. 5-smooth rather than 7-smooth

8 - twocubed is 8 and has 8 letters. that's all i can really think of 8 as

8 - got the 2-ness and the 4-ness with a hint of 3

65 - fibonacci product (5 by 13), next-door neighbor to 64 (8 by 8)

33 - no. you can't do that. one more than 32? you can't take a power of two and add just one to it

41 - prime made of two squares. what is he hiding

71 - one-upping 70, isn't even weird

30 - the true classic 8-factor. 8 being 2 by 2 by 2, the 2 choices each for picking to include 2, 3, or 5

62 - just needs 2 more. definitely divisible by 31

50 - woa-oah. we're half way theere. woa-oah. one more than a square.

10 - too low to really feel like anything

8 - lives a double life as both a power of 2 and a fibonacci number

49 - 7 by 7. do not ever call him "one too few"

30 - 2 by 3 by 5. nice primorial

62 - okay this is enough repetition. i'm expanding the range to 1 to 150

140 - he should not be divisible by 4. he's 14 by 10 and those are both double prime, neither are divisible by 4

143 - nice little big prime collab between 11 and 13. good job

127 - mersenne prime. right after a super big prime gap, hits you like 2 bricks

114 - hmmm, no. you can't be even and then do this. what are you even double of anyway- double 57? you're divisible by 19? unbelievable

115 - now this is what i'm talking about. divisible by only 5 unless you divide it by 5

43 - also doesn't feel prime? like

110 - slips past the cracks. hides as 77 + 33. got 100 arrested using that strategy

72 - that is the second number with 12 factors (first being 60), and it definitely feels factory

61 - the whiplash of going from 12 factors to 2 is just too much

13 - itty bitty prime

101 - big boy prime. does not like the connotation that things like "physics 101" gives it

110 - gets overshadowed by 100.

101 - okay this has got to be a prank. who switch my rng with a binary rng

5 - mission impossible time signature. dun dun dn dn

68 - ough so close. definitely divisible by 4 but not by anything else

93 - hang on i already did this one

74 - 2 by 37? definitely feels like a double prime.

30 - okay i've gotten this number enough times.

83 - he is prime. he does not belong with cat face emoticons like uwu and owo

50 - yeah that's enough. this is my last number

[solarwynd]

i come with a hot take that i dont expect to be well received by others but here goes:

i think pjms really need to cut out the “thailand streaming farm” narrative, for several reasons.

streaming culture has been popularized by armys throughout the years. as far as i can remember, there has been a lot of discourse among chart-oriented armys for years (since the english trilogy era) about both vietnam’s and thailand’s streaming practices. they were the first ones’ to push the account-switching techniques that a lot of streamers use today. back then, it was deemed unsustainable and risky by most chartmys bc it led to large drops when people got tired of doing that. now, its the mainstream streaming practice in the fandom and other countries have managed to make it a more sustainable effort (i.e., LC’s longetivity in the US). the US is the most praised sector of pjms (and deservedly so, they work their asses off) while still using that technique so why are overall pjms much harsher with how they express themselves about thai armys/pjms vs us pjms? honestly sometimes it feels mildy xenophobic to me when is see those kinds of tweets/posts.

while i definitely get that their lack of consistency amd favoritism towards some members has been annoying in the past i don’t think we can say the same anymore. sgmb got more streams day one than nlg and every single jk song released last year (every.single.one and more than double for some of them).

i also cant believe i had to find this information out by a random jjk that popped up on my search this morning when i was looking up today’s sp update (you can imagine my horror when i confirmed those numbers).

jjks frequently and stupidly use the bot narrative for usa pjms, and in all honesty, pjms look just as dumb using the streaming farm narrative for thai armys/solos. its giving that meme of spidermens pointing at each other bc in reality were ALL “bots” were ALL “streaming farms”. we are all a somewhat small group of people (within the market) putting in an extreme effort for our artists. let’s not fool ourselves into cultish them vs us mentalities when (for some things) we are not that different.

Thailand streams get called out because the numbers they pull are not proportionate to the number of users that they have in their country. Look at SK for example. Their lowest entry right now is 4.3k. Top 50 12.8k Top 20 23k Top 10 37k Top 5 60k With top spot being LC with 118k. Proportionate. Brazil, a chart range somewhat similar to the US. Lowest entry is 182k. Top 50 381k Top 20 612k Top 10 882k Top 5 1.06M and Top spot 1.14M.

The lowest entry for Thai charts right now is 28k. Then you get to top 50, that’s 68k. Top 20 (which is Espresso by Sabrina) 98k Top 10 167k. From there is gets sus because to make a jump from that to the top 3 current spots which are 524k, 1.13M, 1.8M. (Down from 6/29 where Rockstar & SGMB had 2.5M and 2.2M respectively and the lowest entry was 26k.) Then you look at the #3 spot from that same day and it was 484k. The gap between #3 and #2 was around 1.7M. Like you cannot tell me that’s normal cause it isn’t. You don’t see those kinds of gaps on any other country chart. So It doesn’t have anything to do with xenophobia (or being upset about the fact that that country is TK majority) because there are other Asian countries and countries outside the US that don’t get called out since they do have streams proportionate to their population and have reasonable ranges.

Bringing up US fans streaming in comparison to Thai fans is also odd to do because it’s not the same. The lowest entry on the US chart is 340k Top 50 starts at 600k, Top 20 841k Top 10 1M with top 5 being 2.1M. That’s also a very proportional chart. Jimin’s numbers in America have always sat in the 200k-to 1M range without significant jumps coming out of nowhere.

Him going from a 465k debut with LC to 2.2M with SGMB from Thailand is not just the 20x cap per account method, that’s something else being employed there. And it’s not that they got “stronger” either.

I’ve expressed my discontent with a large chunk of SGMB’s streams coming from Thailand on multiple occasions. I’ve wanted it far away from Jimin for this exact reason. I’m not denying that there isn’t a concentrated effort to get better numbers in general. And I don’t think any pjm is “fooling themselves” into thinking that how they stream is entirely organic. It’s not, but I still won’t put it on the level of what some Thai fans are doing.

[mirai-e-jump]

Hero Vision Vol.15 (2004/Summer) ft. Kamen Rider Blade Cast Interviews Ryoji Morimoto x Terunosuke Takezai Segment (translations below)

Publication: August 20, 2004 (between episodes 29-30) Ryoji Morimoto (Hajime Aikawa) x Terunosuke Takezai (Kotaro Shirai)

"Currently, It appears that the two of you are not getting along within the drama."

Takezai: Hajime is reluctant to reach out, while Kotaro is. Kotaro wants to protect Amane-chan and Haruka-san, but can't even protect himself, and Hajime is the one to always protect us, which frustrates Kotaro……So now, he's taking it out on Hajime?

Morimoto: When he sees Kotaro like that, I feel that Hajime finds it very interesting.

Takezai: There's a part of Hajime that Kotaro admires, but he won't allow himself to feel that way. It's a complicated feeling.

Morimoto: Hajime is uncertain too. Being around Amane-chan makes his heart feel at ease and warm inside, but he still doesn't understand what it means "to be loved," and he doesn't even understand why he wants to protect her. As his human side develops, so too will the number of his problems, and I think Hajime is going to have a much harder time from now on.

"So, apart from your roles, what do you like about each other?"

Morimoto: He has good intuition, can immediately grasp the situation, and he's also very tolerant and considerate.

Takezai: I don't have anything to say about his performance, other than that I've learned quite alot from him. Usually, you act pretty silly, don't you? And when everyone's together, the tension really rises. But, when it comes to acting, he changes completely. I think, "Is this really the same guy?" The range of emotions, and the way in which he switches between them is amazing. I'm usually very reserved.

"Kotaro's becoming more and more quiet…or rather, it's more like he's becoming serious."

Takezai: There's alot of emotional ups and downs. Every time we get a new script, it's something new. I'm like, "Ah, so this time it's this emotion." I used to play Kotaro, but the range has become so narrow, that now, I'm pretty much playing the role of Terunosuke Takezai.

"Would you ever consider switching roles?"

Morimoto: I don't get to smile much, do I? Kotaro is a really cute guy, and he has a charming smile, I'd like to be able to laugh too.

Takezai: I'd like to try being Chalice. I rarely get to show my emotions. If you think about it, we're the complete opposite in terms of personality.

Morimoto: Yeah. I think Hajime is jealous of Kotaro because they're complete opposites. Hajime wants to smile, but his smile continues to be rather awkward. I want to hurry up and become human…..

Takezai: Then you'd be a monstrous human (laughs).

"What's the most interesting part about Chalice?"

Morimoto: Because I don't have many lines, the lack of dialogue makes it much more difficult to communicate through my eyes and facial expressions. That's why I'm looking forward to seeing how I'll show the process of becoming human.

"Come to think of it, have you been working out recently?"

Morimoto: When I watched 555's movie, there's a shirtless transformation scene, so I was worried that something like that would be in our movie, so I just thought......I don't want to look like a matchstick if I have to take my clothes off (laughs). I do think Hajime is strong, even in his human body.

"What about Takezai's role in the film?"

Takezai: The movie takes place 4 years after the TV show, and I've become a stuck up guy after selling my books and becoming rich……

Morimoto: Kotaro seems to be much more active in the movie.

"Do you ever have time to go out drinking together or just hang out?"

Takezai: Now that you mention it, we've never gone out drinking together once, have we?!

Morimoto: We all go out to eat together, don't we?

"Do you share any common interests, like soccer or motorcycles?"

Morimoto: We do. We both like comedy.

Takezai: I like to laugh. Although, I'm better at being laughed at than at making people laugh.

Morimoto: I'm more of Tsubaki-kuns type.

Takezai: I think you're right

Morimoto: It's better if no one notices me doing it. So I try to do it secretly.

Takezai: There are times where the audio crew picks up on it, and then they'll suddenly start laughing. It makes me happy when they laugh.

Morimoto: I can't help but sometimes joke in front of everyone! Sometimes I do it too much and get pulled aside.

Takezai: Lately, no one comments on your jokes, so you've been forcing them.

Morimoto: I'm like, "…wha, hey!" (laughs).

Takezai: That's…it's alittle bit funny.

"You share a similar hobby, but do you have any differences?"

Takezai: Yeah, I love soccer, but I'm more of an indoor type of person. I recently had 3 weeks off, but during that time, I stayed inside for a whole week. It was tiring, but I do like to just space out at home.

Morimoto: I'm about ready to get out of here! (*he can't imagine being indoors for that long)

"Well then, finally, for you two complete opposites, please give a yell of support to each other."

Takezai: Yell? Support? Don't want to.

Morimoto: No (firmly).

Takezai: With Ryoji around, I can focus on acting with a sense of ease. I trust him.

Morimoto: I'm at ease too. I feel he gives off alot of confidence.

Takezai: The truth is that I have alot of work to do. And yet, everyone says it doesn't look that way…..

Morimoto: I can see you're nervous. Your tongue tends to do this, right? (he licks his lips)

Takezai: Yeah (laughs).

"Well, we're looking forward to it!"

Takezai: Please look forward to watching Chalice this August!

Morimoto: That's right! From now on, the relationships will continue to be very interesting!

[dyst-blogs]

ive seen a couple posts going around talking about "the tumblr demographic", and how old everyone is on here. so, i thought id put together a poll to find out how old everyone ACTUALLY is, in the most practical way possible.

if you cannot easily do prime factorization in your head, ive listed all ages 13-40 in the poll options. if ur outside that range then u can look it up i wont tell anyone

(also, yes i am aware that i am a MASSIVE nerd for making this post. i dont care. die)

[infinite-riches]

I Just Want You to Know I Tried

Summary: He felt numb. Ground down. Empty.

His alarm cuts through the silence of his room, not that he needed it. The red numbers blinked brightly in the dim space. 04:45.

C’mon, MacTavish. Get up.

It’s like this every morning.

Or: John "Soap" MacTavish is a burnt out gifted kid who finally hits his limit.

Pairing: John "Soap" MacTavish x Simon "Ghost" Riley

Word Count: 3090

Warnings: none :)

A/N: Burnt out gifted kid Soap has been bouncing around in my head for the past couple of weeks- enjoy <3

As always feel free to leave feedback/constructive criticism <3

AO3 Link (if you prefer): I Just Want You to Know I Tried

Twenty-nine years old. He had gotten so far in 29 years, and yet it somehow still wasn't enough. 

16.

His mam and da had always told him how proud they were, what a good example he set for his younger sister, and how his older sister could learn a thing or two from him. 

School always came easy to him. He flew through coursework for maths and sciences, especially chemistry, much to the chagrin of his older sister, Isla, who spent many a night pouring over her textbooks, and his younger sister, Nora, who saw his achievements as something to be bested. To top it all off, he was a star athlete— the best goalkeeper the county club had seen in years. 

But when it came down to it all, he didn’t feel like he was enough it didn’t feel like he was doing enough.

Then there was that little flyer— an ad from the local recruitment office plastered with some line about “being more for your country”. That memory of the weekend his cousin brought him on base to show him around cycled through his mind, and what he remembered seemed interesting.

He called his cousin and was on base the following weekend, too.

It became a habit. Eventually, it was less about seeing his cousin and more so about talking to his roommate, who specialized in demolitions. 

Soap was hooked. He could imagine the formulas and calculations in his head, and it finally felt like something big was clicking into place for him. 

18. 

Try as he might, they couldn’t let him join until he was properly 18, no matter what story or excuse he came up with. But once he was in? It was everything he needed— the structure that helped him thrive in school, the firm commands like the ones his football coach gave, plus, the goal of making the SAS shining in the distance.

No one could deny how driven John MacTavish was. He excelled in every aspect of training and even then didn’t let himself stop. His commander had his recommendation for the special forces written up before John could even ask— 3 months before he was even eligible. 

John pushed himself even harder. He trained almost day and night, determined to make it through selection on his first attempt. He got his hands on any training material he could and spent every spare second he had scrounging up any spare information he could get from his CO.  

20.

It was the hardest 5 months of his life. And at the end of it all, he became the youngest to ever pass selection. All his hard work had paid off in spades, but he still wanted more. 

So he learned everything he could. Took the opportunity for specialized training, devoured whatever books he could get his hands on, worked out until his muscles ached and begged for mercy, studied until he fell asleep atop his notes— whatever he could to try and quell that desire for more. 

He was Icarus, flying higher and higher. 

25.

He was home for the holidays when his phone rang. It was John Price. 

“I’m heading up a new task force and want y-” had barely left the older man’s lips when John said yes. 

He was on a flight out a week later, despite his family’s protests and Isla’s pleas for him to slow down and enjoy life just a little while he was young.

The words did nothing to shake his hunger like his sister had hoped they would. He was fully consumed by his need for more, and the 1-4-1 was his ticket. He knew he couldn’t throw this opportunity away.

27.

Two years under the leadership of Captain John Price and Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley had pushed him even further. He was supernaturally clean in the field, a menace with C4, and something to be truly feared when he had his hands on his favorite sniper rifle. 

Even with his hardened edge, he retained all the warmth and joy of a ray of sun.

Price and Ghost had decided it was time for him to start taking on more responsibility, starting with the rookies, so Soap took over their training anytime the team wasn't deployed. Rookies looked on as if he was something more than human. An impossibility in the world they all dedicated themselves to. 

And then his bedroom door would shut, and everything would crumble to pieces. Unlike Atlas, he couldn’t bear the weight, and the sky would slip from his shoulders. 

28.

It took every last ounce of strength he had to kick his boots off and shed his sweat-stained clothes. He stood under the scalding stream until his skin went numb, the thought of having to wash his hair a nauseating concept. 

The words still rang in his ears. “Son, I think you should look into officer training.”

Price wanted more. He wasn’t enough.

It was all too much.

29. 

He had every intention to go for his officer training, but then there were the missions. More and more just kept landing on Laswell’s desk, and in turn, they were handed down to Price. 

He felt numb. Ground down. Empty. 

His alarm cuts through the silence of his room, not that he needed it. The red numbers blinked brightly in the dim space. 04:45.

C’mon, MacTavish. Get up. 

It’s like this every morning. He has to force himself out from between the sheets. Despite how exhausted he is. Despite how much he hates cold linoleum in the mornings. Despite how little coffee helps nowadays. 

The cold air on his warm skin made him shudder. 

He put one foot in front of the other, retracing the same steps from the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that… on and on. 

He all but refused to look at himself in the mirror. He had lost weight, looking gaunt and pale. He could barely remember how bright and full of life he was at 27. 

The day started with a briefing. The data recovery team had finally managed to repair a damaged hard drive retrieved on the last mission. As hard as Soap tried, the information quickly became jumbled and tangled with his other thoughts. 

Ghost had stopped him the night before outside the mess. “Things look like they’re starting to calm down again. Have you given more thought to officer training?”

Soap had felt like he could have crumbled right then and there and finally let the weight of everything overtake and destroy him. 

Instead, he did what he does best and played along, stacking something else on his plate. “Yeah, L.T., still a couple of months out from the next intake, though.”

The memory played on a loop in his mind. Officer training. Officer training? Now? He was so tired already…

The day went by like every other, filled to the brim with training, both his own and his rookies’, plus any mission prep, and now, preparing for officer training. There was no time for anything else, certainly not himself.

And then it was evening— another restless night, tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling. 

Useless. Weak. Lazy. Not enough. Worthless. 

And like usual, Soap found himself on autopilot, feet carrying himself towards the gym. 

The treadmill sounded like pure torture, but he didn’t trust himself to deadlift in this state without a spotter. Punching bag it was. 

He didn’t bother to wrap his knuckles and rarely did anymore, allowing himself to relish in the sting of freshly split skin and warm blood. 

The minutes disappeared one after another, and suddenly Soap was lost deep within his own mind. Too deep to catch himself when the day finally caught up with him, the lack of food making him dizzy and sending him off balance. He collapsed into the bag, blood-slick hands grasping to make purchase on the sweat-dampened material as his knees made vicious contact with the unpadded floor. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there in a haze and didn’t know he was crying, either. Not until Ghost crowded his vision, blocking out the buzzing fluorescents, face twisted in worry, lips moving but strangely lacking sound. 

“-nny! Johnny, can you hear me?” The Scot looked up at him, ocean-blue eyes overrun with tears and confusion clear on his face. 

“Ghost? What-?” Soap tried to put the missing pieces together, but no matter how hard he tried, there were still empty spots. 

Ghost kneeled next to him, the faintest edge of panic in his voice, his firm grasp turning Soap’s face in his hand. “Where are you bleeding from?” 

All Ghost could make out was a mess of smeared blood, sweat, and tears. There were no obvious injuries he could see. He didn’t know if that was better or worse.

“Bleeding?” Soap’s gaze seemed fuzzy as if he were far away.

“Yes, Johnny, you’re bleeding. Please, help me out here…” Ghost was begging. 

Ghost doesn’t beg. The thought made Soap’s head swim even more. He reached up, resting his hand on Ghost’s outstretched arm. “‘m fine, Ghostie.” His voice was thick with tears.

A wounded noise escaped Ghost at the sight of Soap’s knuckles. They were covered in blood, and he could see the edges of torn skin. Blood trailed down the tanned skin he loved so much, wrapping around his firm forearms like trailing vines. “Johnny…”

“‘m fine, L.T.” Soap started to pull himself away from the Brit, wobbling despite not even being on his feet.

“John, please talk to me. Let me help.” Soap could see the concern and fear in Ghost’s eyes, and that cut him to his core and sent him spiraling.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying, I promise. Please, L.T., I can do this.” Soap’s words were a babbling mess as the tears returned in full force. 

Ghost pulled the smaller man into his chest, holding him tightly and running his fingers through Soap’s hair.

Everything was starting to click for Ghost— the way Soap’s eyes didn’t shine like they used to, how his smile no longer reached his eyes, the way his laugh sounded dull. His Johnny was falling apart, and that thought made Ghost want to fall apart. 

He knew he and Price had been pushing the Scot, but the man had never given any indication that it was too much. He took everything he was given in stride and seemed ready for more at any moment. 

“Shh, Johnny. It’s okay, it’s okay…” He pulled Soap even closer, trying to soothe the broken man. “Everything is okay.”

It took Soap about an hour to snap out of the breakdown he had been stuck in. 

And with one look, Ghost broke Soap’s walls, and everything came pouring out.

“I can’t do it, Ghost. Ever since I was little, I was supposed to be the best. School, then football, then the army. It was good at first, easy even. Took in everything I could get my hands on. But then the energy just… disappeared. And I tried. I tried to keep going and keep getting better. I tried to be everything you and Price want but I just… I can’t. It's too much. I’m sorry. I can’t be everything you want, and I understand if you want me off the team, I just want you to know I tried.” His words were interrupted with little sobs as he laid his soul bare for Ghost, head buried in the larger man’s chest.

And Ghost finally understood why Soap looked like a husk of his former self— because he was. He had given everything until there was nothing left, and then still kept trying. 

“Oh, Johnny…” Ghost guided the Scot back, gently cupping his face with both hands. “I love you just as you are. Never could want more than what you are, ‘cause you’re perfect, Johnny. And I’m so sorry I didn’t see what this— what I was doing to you.” He placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, holding him close yet again as the sobs returned. 

“You love me?” His voice was soft, stuttered, and choked with tears as he lifted his eyes to see Ghost’s, the barest glimmer of hope shining through. He had feelings for his lieutenant that ran deep, but he always assumed they were one-sided. That the flirty banter was just something to break the tension on missions, something that carried over from Las Almas. 

A small laugh rumbled through Ghost’s chest as he cupped Soap’s jaw in his hand, his thumb brushing against the stubble. “Yes, Johnny. I love you. Now let's get you cleaned up.” Carefully untangling Soap from his arms, he began to push himself to his feet.

“Wait!” Soap caught Ghost’s arm, bloodied fingers wrapping around the pale skin of his forearm, catching the man before he could stand. Ghost caught his gaze, looking for what else could be wrong. The concern made Soap melt a little more.

“I love you.” Soap pulled the larger man into a surprisingly bone-crushing hug for how worn he looked. “And I hope you still want me…” The words came out muffled from where he had buried his face in Ghost’s neck.

“Johnny,” Ghost felt like his heart had just split straight down the middle, torn apart by the Scot’s worry. “I’ll always want you. Don’t ever doubt that.” 

He placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Soap’s head despite the balaclava, and let the man find comfort in his chest for a few more moments. “C’mon, you need your rest.”

Without any protest from Soap, they untangled themselves, getting to their feet. Ghost guided Soap through the halls, hands intertwined, not fully able to trust that Soap wouldn’t lose his balance with how out of it the man looked. 

Soap gave Ghost a look as they walked straight past his door, but Ghost only carried on, not stopping until they were at his door. He directed Soap inside and to the edge of the bed, placing another masked kiss on his forehead. “Stay here, I’m just going to get some things for your hands.”

Soap could hear the tap start to run in the small connected bathroom as he let his eyes wander. The space was clean and organized with precision, not unlike his lieutenant. The one space that captured his attention was the windowsill. It was cluttered with photos, some torn or worn with age, blackened at the edge, others that were well kept but just as old— none of them were recent. Soap could only assume they were family, but he couldn’t know for sure, because it wasn’t something Ghost had ever talked about. 

“Johnny?” Ghost was standing at the head of the bed, not wanting to sneak up on the Scot. 

“Hmm?” Soap caught his gaze and blushed, not expecting to find Ghost without his mask. He dropped his eyes to the floor and shifted over, making more space for Ghost.

“No need, love.” Ghost knelt on the floor in front of Soap, gently lifting his hand and beginning to carefully clean his bloody knuckles. Soap hissed and jerked at the sensation, trying to busy himself with studying the room, the sudden itch to do something returning.

Ghost noticed the way Soap seemed agitated by being left to do nothing. Initially, he thought it to be the Scot’s natural drive, but now it seemed more likely to be driven by whatever anxiety had pushed him past his breaking point in the first place. 

“Talk to me, Johnny. Tell me about that new chemical composition you were testing last week.” Soap seemed to relax a little at that, his mind undoubtedly finding comfort in the familiarity of something that came so easily to him. 

Ghost worked as Soap prattled on, explaining all the different components he had tested and why. The ease with which he spoke made Simon smile. It had become so commonplace to see Soap so wound up that this was like a breath of fresh air. This was his Johnny, the one he had fallen for all those months ago in Las Almas. 

As Simon finished, it was painfully obvious that Soap was flagging. His eyelids were heavy, and he was starting to sag back into the mattress. Gently, Simon helped Soap out of his bloody mess of a t-shirt and into one of his own, laughing to himself at the way it hung off Soap’s slightly smaller form. 

“I’ll be back, okay? Just going to get myself ready for bed. You get comfortable.” Simon placed a kiss on his forehead, lips warm on Soap’s cool skin.

“Here?” The confusion was clear on Soap’s face, despite the exhaustion.

Panic began to rise in Simon’s chest, worried he was pushing too fast. “Do you want to go back to your room?” His words were soft, not wanting to pressure the exhausted man.

Soap thought for a moment before shaking his head. “No, not if you want me here.” Soap couldn’t resist anymore, desperately craving to be held in Simon’s arms, to let someone else do all the heavy lifting, just for a little while. 

“Always. Get yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back.” The door to the bathroom clicked closed, with the moonlight being the only thing to illuminate the space now. 

Soap looked over his freshly bandaged knuckles, gently rubbing his fingers over the tape. 

Simon loves me. He wants me. Wants me how I am. 

It felt good to be wanted, especially by the man he had been pining after for so long, but he couldn’t deny how unsteady he still felt. Everything still weighed so heavy on his shoulders. 

He shook the feeling away, kicking off his sweatpants and slipping in between the sheets of Simon’s perfectly made bed. He was hit by the subtle scent of peppermint, cedarwood, and eucalyptus, somehow warm and cool and home all in one scent. He let himself melt into the comfort of the space, the gentle sounds of Simon rummaging about in the bathroom providing the white noise that was making it harder and harder to stay awake. 

Soap startled at the mattress dipping next to him, rubbing the first dregs of sleep from his eyes.

“It's just me, Johnny, go back to sleep.” Simon's voice rumbled through the quiet space. Soap nodded, humming happily as he felt Simon lay behind him, an arm thrown over his waist to hold him close. 

“Love you, Simon.”

“Love you, Johnny.”

[delurkr]

The Canadian Clarke AU - The Draft Lottery and the Move to Canada

This post concerns events that took place in 1970, 1971, and early 1972. Skip the first heading if you don't want an explanation of the relevant real-world info:

Background:

The Vietnam War had technically been going on for most of Dennis's life and it escalated in the 1960s, as did many Americans' resistance to the draft. From 1969 through 1972 the U.S. was drafting young men into the military through a lottery system. The function of the lottery was to assign a random number, ranging from 1 to 365 (or 366), to every day of the year, namely to every possible birthday. Each year, the numbers were drawn in an event publicized through every media outlet. The assigned numbers determined the order of who would be drafted in the following year: the first number called was 1, and the numbers increased until the cutoff the next year (December 31 unless otherwise extended), and then the next lottery would be drawn if needed.

To be clear, if you were a young man in the correct age bracket targeted by a given year's lottery, the random number assigned to your birthday told you how likely you were to be drafted the next year. The draft calls started with 1 and worked their way up throughout the year. The first Vietnam-era lottery, held in 1969, called men during 1970, and at the end of 1970 the highest number called turned out to be 195. That number sort of set the standard for individuals concerned about being drafted in future lotteries, although the numbers in following years never reached that high again.

So that was me trying to explain the relevant parts as clearly as I could, but here is the U.S. government webpage on the topic, with charts of the numbers assigned to every birthday in each year's lottery: Vietnam Lotteries | Selective Service System : Selective Service System (sss.gov)

The effect on Dennis:

Dennis was born on April 29, 1951. The draft lottery held on July 1, 1970, targeted men born in 1951. The number randomly assigned to his birthday was 111 out of 365. In 1971, number 111 was drafted, the highest number called being 125.

My best guess is that Dennis would have received a notice of induction into the military towards the end of 1971. Obviously there's no reason to assume he is a military member in canon, but at the same time there's no other canon-supported reason to believe that he would have grounds to be excused from the draft in real life, so that's why this AU exists.

Story:

In 1970, the Clarkes of course know that there is a chance that 19-year-old Dennis could be drafted next year. On the first day of July, the family watches and listens to the lottery broadcast as the numbers are called. Dennis is assigned number 111. It is not high enough to keep them from worrying. It's only halfway through 1970, and the previous lottery is still underway; no one yet knows how high "high enough" is, but the numbers climb as the year goes on, and when the previous lottery expires after reaching 195, they can reasonably fear that Dennis's number will be snatched up before the end of the year 1971.

Cue the Clarkes spending a year and a half in anxiety that Dennis will be forced into the military at age 20. He will perhaps be sent to the war in Vietnam and potentially never make it back home, like thousands of soldiers already - perhaps even a few they used to know. They stew over it, but for the sake of Megan in particular they rarely speak of it out in the open. The issue is merely added to the pile of mounting pressure created from the failing factory and, once October comes, Megan's increasingly disturbed behavior and whatever else.

(Note that these details are still open to adjustment, I'm always learning new info.) Early in 1971, Dennis has a pre-induction physical examination, which basically works as a head start to establish that he's eligible to be drafted when/if his number comes up. Bad news for him: he passes, and the military officially classifies him as 1-A, fit for military service if he gets called.

Then there's a point soon after when Anne puts together a letter to the draft board inquiring about the possibility of him getting conscientious objector status, but James makes sure it is never sent. It's not a completely unreasonable fear that the letter would only bring attention to Dennis and potentially get him a draft order sooner or even prevent him from getting completely overlooked if there was any tiny chance of that happening.

In November, Dennis receives an order of induction in the mail. He is given a certain date on which he is required to report and be sworn into the military and then be shipped off to basic training immediately, a date that's probably only a month or less away. It seems Dennis doesn't have a choice, except - there is always a choice, if the nation's many thousands of war resistors, including the ones fleeing to countries out of reach of the U.S. government, have proven anything.

James knows what he wants. It's no secret that he has always hated this war and its politics; he has two young sons, his sons, and they aren't going off to die in Nixon's war on his watch (no he doesn't care that President Nixon didn't start the conflict). In line with his usual m.o. of outwardly ignoring problems and hoping they go away, James insists that they ignore the draft notice, end of story. Maybe the draft board won't follow up on it. If they do, well, he'll take care of it then.

For Anne, it's more complicated. If your country calls, it's a duty to answer, and on a practical level Dennis does not have any other legal options. Of course she doesn't want to see him in a war, and if they had acted earlier he might have had a chance to join the reserves or something, but it's too late for that now, so why prolong the inevitable? The best thing now is to prepare for the worst and hope for the best like everyone did in the wars of her generation and every generation before.

Dennis himself is mostly unsure about what he should do; all over the country there's all sorts of clashing opinions to reckon with and the war is still very confusing, even though lately he couldn't help but tune in to more of the discussions, knowing that it was likely only a matter of time before it all affected him. But one sure thing is that the negative publicity and extensive media coverage of this war leaves no room for heroic fantasies, and it would be nice to not end up numbered in one of the daily casualty reports on the nightly news. So if dad says he doesn't have to go, then... he doesn't want to go. And then, too soon for any of them, the date passes when he was supposed to report, and he didn't go.

So on January 16, 1972, the family is in limbo. They don't know what's going to happen next, and they can't really ask around to find out. Dennis is breaking the law, and if the wrong person finds out he's knowingly ignoring an induction order, they might inform the authorities and who knows what would happen then. The one thing they all know is that Dennis's days with the family are numbered - realistically, it's only a matter of time before the draft board doubles down on the matter. The only options the Clarkes see are for Dennis to join the military, or pack his bags and sneak out of the country.

At the start of February, they are driven to action. It's a Wednesday when Dennis gets a second notice from the draft board with a new induction date; it serves as another chance in case he missed the first order, but it's also a warning if he's been intentionally defying it.

So the Clarkes don't push their luck any further. Dennis has already made his decision to leave the country if it came to that. There's a quick few days of hurried packing and realizing they are thoroughly under-researched and unprepared for what his move to Canada may entail, but that Sunday Dennis's luggage and most of the Clarkes are piled into the family station wagon on the multi-hour trip to Montreal, Quebec. (Only Tanya opted out of the trip, and Dennis will spend the next few years being bitter about that.)

The tension in that car gets stronger and stronger as they approach the border. They've heard tell of so many other draft dodgers escaping to Canada, but were those Americans privy to some insight the Clarkes don't have? They don't know if they will be refused entry if they pick the wrong point of crossing, and they can't even be sure there isn't a chance that Dennis could be arrested on the spot if they give the wrong answers to the wrong questions.

But the crossing is unexpectedly smooth after all. They're visitors, they tell the border official, and they make a quick and quiet entry into Canada.

There isn't much for the Clarkes to do when they reach Montreal. It's a big city, and somewhere there's folks who help people like Dennis, but James and Anne hardly know more than Dennis himself does. "Find the Americans" is the best advice they can give. They have to leave in a few hours; tomorrow is a workday. They find a cheap room for Dennis to stay in and give him some cash, and they promise to help him with the immigration process when the time comes. They can mail him whatever papers he needs. They can mail him any of his possessions if he left something important back home. They can mail letters, and he can write back.

"Call us in the morning," they tell him, and several hours later the Clarkes are down one member on the return trip to Little Hope, while Dennis is left by himself in a hotel room in Montreal with some very dim-looking prospects and no idea what to do next.

--

Aaaand that's the start of the AU. Congratulate yourself if you read this far, and here's the timeline for good measure 🙂