#now i can be a problem on the internet too ^-^
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smoke and mirrors - chris sturniolo
chapter three
summary: your best friend Matt backs out of plans you had made together, so you replace him with his brother. the only problem is the two of you canât stand each other.
{enemies to lovers, fake dating}
includes : explicit language, fluff, smut(penetration, oral, fingering, etc.), angst if you squint, lots of bickering, slow burn
tw: slight body issues in this chapter.
wc: 3.2k
-
The wedding was in a week and you found yourself out shopping with the triplets trying to find Chris a tie that would match your dress, which was just a simple, deep red, slim fitting, sleeveless dress. It was sexy and flattering, but nowhere near enough to draw attention from the bride or bridal party.
You had been shopping for a while, mostly goofing off, but now you guys had made it to Menâs Warehouse and were actually looking for what you needed. You carried around a swatch of your dress color so you could find something as close as possible, holding it up to every dark red tie you found, but nothing was to your liking just yet.
âHow about this one?â Chris asks, holding another one up, and you walk over and hold up your swatch, shaking your head. âToo bright,â you say, to which he groans.
âWeâve looked at like twenty different ties, one of these has to match,â he complains, putting the tie back.
âThe perfect match is out there, I know it is. We just have to keep looking,â you tell him, still perusing the array of options throughout the store.
Matt and Nick followed behind you guys, chit chatting with each other while you and Chris bickered over whether or not the reds matched, which they obviously didnât.
âHavenât you ever seen those pictures on the internet?â You ask Chris.
He raises an eyebrow, looking down at you. âVery descriptive, I definitely have,â he replies sarcastically.
You roll your eyes. âYou know, the ones where girls ask their boyfriend if they can tell the difference between two really similar nail polishes? Most of them canât tell the difference, but women can! So when you say that these ties are âclose enoughâ, theyâre just not. It has to be perfect, these pictures are going to be around forever, and as much as I wish you werenât in the pictures, I at least want to make sure we look good.â
âStop comparing me to a boyfriend, dude, itâs getting weird,â Chris shudders at the thought and you just shake your head, knowing that he wasnât listening to a damn thing you were saying and is just trying to rush through this store. âHow about this one?â
Chris holds up a tie for you to look at, and you hold your swatch up to it, instantly beaming up at him. âItâs perfect!â You tell him, bouncing on your toes in excitement. âSee? Donât you see how well that matches?â
He looks down at the two colors pressed together and reluctantly nods. âYeah, that looks pretty good,â he agrees.
âGreat!â You smile, grabbing the tie from his hands. âNow we buy this and weâre all done.â
Chris lets out a sigh of relief and turns to his brothers, ready to be done conversing with you for the time being. He makes eye contact with Matt who smiles at him and mouths the words âhelp meâ while pointing towards your frame that happily skipped up to the register.
Matt laughed and patted Chris on the shoulder. âYou agreed to it,â he tells him.
Back at the triplets house, youâre all crowded in Nickâs room, your dress laid out on his bed and Chrisâs suit laid right next to it. âYou put yours on first,â you tell him.
You wanted to see how you guys looked together before the actual day of the wedding, so you decided to try everything on now that you guys were both home and had corresponding outfits. You had brought your dress over earlier before you went shopping so that it was ready for you when you guys got back home.
Chris picks up his suit from the bed and walks into Nickâs bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
âHow are you handling being Chrisâs girlfriend?â Nick asks curiously, waggling his eyebrows at you.
You just laugh. âItâs not that bad, we just take pictures together every so often, but itâs just pictures. As much as I hate it I just have to remind myself that heâs giving me a date to a wedding so I donât have to hear everyone asking me why I donât have a boyfriend. A couple pictures in return for a night of silence sounds like a win to me.â
Nick and Matt chuckle, still shocked that you guys agreed to help each other in such an intimate way, considering your history.
âWhy do I have a feeling you guys are going to fall in love?â Nick teases, but you just scoff at him.
âYeah, right. Iâd rather date you,â you smirk at Nick and make a kissy face towards him, leaning in like you were going to kiss him.
Nick cringes and puts his hand in your face, pushing you away as you guys hear the door open, Chris walking out in his suit, his tie in his hand.
âI, uh, donât know how to tie this,â he says shyly, holding it out, clearly embarrassed.
You look around at his brothers and see them both looking just as clueless as Chris did. âSeriously?â You ask them.
âOur mom or dad always did it for school dances,â Matt tells you. âNever really worn a tie other than that.â
You huff and stand up off the bed, walking over to Chris, snatching the new tie out of his hands. âYou guys are helpless,â you mumble, starting to situate the tie around his neck.
ââM not helpless,â Chris says lowly, his voice slightly pouty.
âOh, of course not,â you reply, looking up at him. âYouâre just a twenty one year old boy that doesnât know how to tie a tie, or fill out forms, or make a restaurant reservationâŠâ you trail off.
âThe fuck? I made a reservation for you and Matt tomorrow,â he argues.
âTomorrow?â Matt whips his head around to look at his brother.
âYeah?â Chris responds, looking at Matt over your head. âI told you Iâd book it and then let you know when it was.â
âYou didnât think to ask first? Chris, I have plans,â Matt groans.
Chrisâs eyes widen. âWhat fucking plans?! You never go anywhere.â
âI have an actual date tomorrow, I canât make that. You shouldâve told me when it was first or asked when I was free,â Matt tells him, finality clear in his voice.
âKid, I had to put fucking a deposit down for this place, itâs non refundable. You need to go. Just reschedule your date.â Chris tells him.
Matt shakes his head, looking at Chris seriously. âNo, dude, Iâm not rescheduling. You shouldâve asked.â
Chris groans and throws his head back, currently hating his life. You finish up with the tie and reach up to brush off Chrisâs shoulders, then swipe your hands down his arms quickly before backing away. âDone,â you tell him, admiring your work. âYou know, you could just suck it up and grab dinner with me. Iâm not the worst person to be around.â
Chris turns around and goes back in the mirror to look at himself, shrugging a bit. âIâd prefer not to, but I also donât want to lose my deposit.â He walks back out of the bathroom and past you, going to sit on the bed. âAlright, try your dress on now so I can take this off.â
You nod and grab your dress before walking into the bathroom, shutting the door after you. You slip off all of your clothes and step into your dress, pulling the straps over your shoulders. It fits well, and when you bought the dress a couple of months ago, you fell in love with it and the way it looked on your body, but now as you stare in the mirror, pulling the sides tight against your waist as the zipper was still down in the back, you couldnât help but focus on all the imperfections staring back at you in the mirror. It almost makes you fully take the dress off and call it a day, figuring youâll just put it on the day of the wedding and suck it up, but you would feel too bad making Chris get dressed up just to back out.
Youâve never explicitly told any of the triplets about any of your insecurities, just threw a few self deprecating comments out there like people normally do, and for the most part you were a confident person, but everyone had their days, and today was just one of those days.
You reach back and try to pull the zipper up, but youâre only able to zip it about halfway up on your own, so you slip back into your happy demeanor before you open the door and walk out, smiling at the three boys staring back at you. âCan one of you zip me up?â You ask.
Chris stands up from the bed and walks towards you. Youâre shocked to see him volunteering without being coerced into it, but say nothing, afraid to startle him back to his senses. You just turn around and move your hair off your back, pulling it over your shoulder and he reaches out, grabbing the zipper and pulling it all the way up. âGood,â he tells you, and you turn back around to face him again.
âHow do I look?â You ask the room, smiling wide and putting your hands on your hips dramatically. Chris moves out of the way so his brothers can see you, but keeps his eyes on your body.
âThe same as you always look,â he retorts bluntly.
âYou look hot,â Nick nods his head enthusiastically in approval.
âWhat Nick said,â Matt says in agreement. âIâm kind of sad I canât make it now.â
You giggle at Mattâs words, feeling your ears heat up a little bit. You didnât necessarily have a crush on Matt, but you couldnât ignore the fact that he was attractive and his words did have a little bit of an effect on you.
âThanks, guys. Come here, Chris, I want to look at us in the mirror.â You tell him and walk back into the bathroom where he follows you.
You both stand in the mirror together, looking at your outfits. You scrunch your eyebrows together and brush your hands over your dress, trying to pull it in a couple different directions to make it look more flattering on your body.
âWhat are you doing?â Chris asks you, watching you through the mirror as you play with your dress.
âTrying to fix the dress,â you mumble, sucking in a little bit as you turn to the side to stare at your reflection from another angle. âI think I gained a little weight and I just.. donât really like how this is looking.â
Chris turns to look at you instead of your reflection, seeing how distraught you actually looked by the sight of your body in the dress.
âThereâs nothing to fix, the dress is fine.â Chris is clearly uncomfortable at the way youâre speaking, but has no idea how to manage the situation. It was bad enough that he wasnât good at dealing with other peoplesâ emotions, but you two also werenât close, so his urge to run away was even stronger than normal.
âItâs not the dress, I justâŠâ your voice falters, eyes still glued to your body in the mirror. âI look bad.â
âStop it,â he tells you, reaching out to turn your body towards his. You turn and look up to meet his eyes, your own starting to well with tears. âWhy are you crying?â
You sniffle and shrug your shoulders, unable to speak in fear of your voice giving out on you.
He reaches behind himself and shuts the door, blocking his two brothers from earshot of you guys. âWhy are you crying?â He asks you again, more firm this time.
You look down at the ground, sucking in a deep breath. âIâm just upset at how I look,â you tell him, voice high pitched and squeaky. âI really liked this dress when I got it but⊠I donât know how I feel now.â
Chris sighs and reaches forward, placing a finger under your chin so he could tilt up your head. âStop crying,â he tells you. âYou look really good in that dress. Your body is incredible and you know it, thatâs why you always walk around my house in your little booty shorts and a sports bra, isnât it?â
You cough out a laugh and reach up to wipe a couple tears that fell down your cheek. âNot really, Iâm just really comfortable around you guys. Even you wouldnât think to comment on my body. Youâre dumb but youâre not that dumb.â
Chris rolls his eyes at you and shakes his head. âWell, Iâm commenting on it and Iâm telling you that you look fine. Girls would kill to look like you. Once you do your hair and your makeup and shave your legs or whatever girls do youâll feel way better about how you look. So, sort yourself out, change back into your clothes and go cuddle with my brothers or whatever weird shit you do with them.â
You smile and nod, the tears subsiding almost completely as he speaks. âOkay,â you mutter. âThanks.â
âDonât mention it,â Chris replies. âSeriously. Ever. I donât ever want anyone knowing I⊠comforted you.â
You giggle at his words and watch as he turns to leave the bathroom before you try and stop him.
âWait, Chris,â you touch his shoulder and he turns around, looking at you confusedly. âI need you to unzip me.â
âOh,â Chris starts, moving his feet to come back to you. You turn around and place your hands over your breasts to hold the dress in place once itâs unzipped and he reaches up to unzip it down to your lower back, the small spaghetti straps falling off of your shoulders as he does so. âThere you go.â
You turn back around to face him, still holding the dress. His eyes couldnât help but wander, taking one last look at your body, so close to being completely naked in front of him. All you had to do was let go and the dress would fall to the floor-
âI said thanks,â you say loudly and Chris clears his throat, looking back up to your eyes. He doesnât respond, just leaves the bathroom and shuts the door, not even speaking to his brothers before he leaves Nickâs room and heads towards his own.
You turn back to the mirror and drop the dress, staring at yourself a few minutes longer, and the more you stand there, the more you feel your mood shifting, and what started as a judgmental and negative stare slowly turns into you checking yourself out, posing for yourself almost completely naked apart from your underwear. You hum to yourself and send a wink towards your reflection before getting dressed again, walking into Nickâs room.
Right now you wore sweatpants and a loose crop top with the collar cut out so it hung off your shoulders, but you strutted over to Nickâs dresser where you had some clothes you had left and he had so graciously washed for you, digging out a pair of old Nike pros and a sports bra, turning around and smirking at the boys that watched you from the bed, eyes wide.
âWhat⊠happened in there?â Nick asks, scared for the answer.
You just giggle and rip your shirt over your shoulders in front of both boys, causing Matt to gasp and cover his eyes with his fingers, though he mightâve kept a small slit between his pointer and middle finger, who knows, whereas Nickâs eyes just got even wider, his eyes trailing over your body as you pulled the sports bra over your head, changing your bottom half next until you were fully changed, letting Matt know he was okay to look.
âI know youâre my best friend but I am still only a man,â Matt tells you, not so subtly checking you out, which only boosted your confidence more. Maybe you were searching for validation in the wrong people, but fuck it you needed it right now and if Matt and god forbid Chris were going to be the men that made you feel like they were going to melt at the sight of you then so be it.
âItâs like window shopping,â you tell Matt with a grin. âYou can admire but you canât touch.â
Matt couldnât help his cheeks turning slightly darker at your words. âSureâŠâ he replies, definitely not sure.
âAnyway,â you start, clapping your hands together. âYou guys hungry? Iâm in the mood to cook.â
-
You had scrounged up what you could in the tripletsâ kitchen and ended up cooking them some basic pasta, throwing all the boysâ portions onto a plate along with your own, putting everything on the table, calling Matt and Nick to the table who sat on their couch waiting patiently for dinner to be ready.
âIâm gonna get your brother,â you tell them with a smile before skipping towards the stairs, heading down them quickly. âChris?â You call, standing in his doorframe.
He glances up at you quickly then back down at his phone before he rips his head back up, doing a double take, eyes scanning over the new outfit that had adorned your body. âUh,â he drawls, looking up to meet your gaze. âCan I help you?â
You smile and place one foot on top of the other, your front knee buckled slightly, hands placed on the doorframe as you stared back at him where he lay on his bed. âI made dinner. You coming?â
Chris thinks about it for a moment before he shakes his head. âIâm not hungry.â He tells you, looking back down at his phone.
You huff and walk over to him until youâre standing next to his bed, reaching down to grab his phone and pull it behind your back. âAlready made you a plate.â You tell him.
Chris furrows his eyebrows and sits up on the bed, quickly getting frustrated with you. âStop fucking doing that shit every time your spoiled ass doesnât get what you want. Give me my fucking phone.â He says aggressively, voice a tad louder than it normally is.
âNot until you come have dinner with us. I donât want your food going to waste,â you pout, both hands now securely locked behind your back, phone held sideways between them. âDonât be so rude, itâs fucking annoying.â
Chris scoffs out a laugh and shakes his head in disbelief. âIâm rude? Youâre just coming in my room and snatching shit out of my hands like a fucking toddler, that seems pretty rude to me.â
You take a tiny step closer to Chris, jutting out your bottom lip. âPlease?â You beg.
Heâs still for a moment, and at first when his body starts to move, your first thought is that heâs giving in and standing up to go have dinner with you and his brothers, but youâre quickly proven wrong when he stands up and grabs your bicep, flipping your body around. You squeal at the sudden movement, stumbling over your own to feet as he spins you.
What you definitely didnât expect was him facing you towards the bed and grabbing your hands that were still behind your back with one hand, his other hand taking his phone and shoving it in his pocket. He pushes you down on the bed aggressively, your feet still on the floor but your body bent over with your chest pressed into the mattress, leaning over your back until his mouth was next to your ear, making sure you heard the words that were about to fall from his lips.
âWatch your fucking attitude around me before I fucking make you.â
He aggressively shoves your arms, pushing you into the bed roughly as he lets go of you, glaring your way as he starts to walk out of his room, eventually turning his head and exiting, stomping up the stairs.
You use your now free hands to push yourself up until youâre standing straight again, then use them to reach up to your bun that almost completely fell out, grabbing the hair tie and ripping it out.
It took you a moment to process what had happened, but you thought back to it and how it made you feel, and most importantly the newfound throbbing between your legs. You stand there in silence, arms dropped to your sides, until you let out a quiet and confused,
âWhat the fuck?â
-
a/n: the tension is buildinggggg yall feel it??
taglist
@liiixsturniolos @madelinesturn @st6niolo @mattslolita @ifwdominicfike @sophand4n4 @chris-hallelujah @sophsturns @ariana2saucyy @045696 @scorpioosworld @byhrxb @vickytaa @taelovesmattsturniolo @secret-sturniolo @theboredknightcat-blog @slvtf0rchr1s @flouqissss @gabri3la-sturns @delilahsturniolo @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @vanillsstuff @sturnlsstuff @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @mattsbrat @mattsfavoritestar @dominicfikeenthusiast @certified-sturniolo @chrisslollipop @noplaceissafeanymore @sofiaaguilaxx @idrk2292 @dylansfavwife @pvssychicken @sturnl0ve @sturnioloangelxoxo @afilmbykay @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @r0s3luvr @milasturniolo @mattsdillion
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#matt x reader#matt x you#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris x you#chris x reader#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#smoke and mirrors
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As someone with a much larger vocabulary than the average American (due to various factors, but personally I attribute this to the terrible American education system more than anything else), Iâve genuinely considered starting to screen record while Iâm writing essays for college as proof that Iâm not using ai to cheat, unless you count spell check as ai. Which I donât, and any sane person wouldnât either.
AI checkers are faulty at best and genuinely broken beyond comprehension at worst. I lean towards the worst side of the scale. There have been countless cases of these things just flat out not working, whether thatâs through false positives or not catching actual ai use.
I think the worst or maybe just weirdest case Iâve seen was a situation where one of my friendâs classmates got flagged for ai use because they included a block quote that the checker decided was suspicious. A fucking quote. Ya know, the one thing in an essay that you donât write yourself.
Insanity.
I hadnât heard about this trend of ai checkers forcing people to dumb down their words leading to actual published works being dumbed down before. I mean, I knew about the results, but Iâd assumed that it was caused by the general trend of the American populous getting âdumberâ. By which I mean that each year there are statically more people graduating with lower reading levels/worse understanding of how things like science and math work. Itâs not their fault, the American education system is deeply flawed and underfunded more and more every year and far too many parents let iPads raise children instead of actually parenting. And the iPad baby bit is making things even worse year by year as more and more content for kids (and adults) is ai generated. Itâs much more complicated than that, but Iâm not about to go into minutia over this in a tumblr post.
The general trend toward content (including published books) being dumbed down is caused by a lot of factors. Pressure from publishers and higher ups, ai, the general lower standards of pre-college education (and college too, but less so for now), being raised by the internet, the fact that the internet is so consumed by ai and it worsens every day, the list goes on.
Ai isnât the only source for these problems, but the fact remains that it is simultaneously the method being used to enforce the trend and most of the other sources can trace back their roots to AI in some way or another.
And frankly we canât do Jack shit about it. At least, we canât do anything to stop ai. Itâs far too late for that.
What we can do is try for now to make sure our own writing isnât mislabeled as AI, not by dumbing it down but rather by providing proof that you were the one to write it. We can make sure that when we have kids they donât get access to ai and that they are raised by a human, not by a computer. We can try to help schools get more funding. We can rate books that havenât been dumbed down higher than ones than have, and maybe even message publishers to tell them that they are idiots if they think their readers want something written so boringly.
We canât stop generative ai, but we can learn how to coexist with it.
#ai is so fucking complicated#trying to talk about it at all is impossible because someone will inevitably come in screaming that youâre wrong#like no shit Jackie; ai is like fuckin bacteria#it has so many different forms that itâs impossible to call ai good or bad#some bakteria will kill me; some Iâll die without; some is just vibing and doesnât affect me at all#ai is the same way#but hereâs the thing Jackie; that doesnât mean I cant hate the bakteria that kills me just because some of its family members are chill#so yeah I hate this kind of ai#if I could kill it then I would do so without hesitation#man I miss the pre nft and âweb3â days#fuckin web3#despise that shit#any guy that supports/uses that shit and/or listens to Andrew Tate and alpha bro podcasts is such a red flag#I lump those together because they are the same person in my experience#wouldnât surprise me if a lot of those podcasts get at least partially written by ai
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I am too tired and too depressed to deal with it right now, but sometimes it drives me absolutely insane how people perceive the purity culture debate in fandom.
it's nice that it's not a big deal for you. it's nice that it just looks like petty squabbling to you. I'm glad you get to worry about "real" problems instead.
but I was harassed for multiple years by people who doxxed me, tried to call the cops on me, systematically ostracized me from the only social groups I had, and ultimately left me with a tremendous amount of trauma--and this was because of the fiction I consumed and supported.
I've known people whose lives were ruined. and I mean RUINED. I mean jobs lost, relationships severed, complete mental breaks from prolonged persecution. over fiction.
on top of it all, the freedom to depict anything in fiction is important to me, and I'd be on the side of that whether all the trauma had happened or not. but listen to me. I need you to understand that this isn't just ship wars, that no matter how insignificant the root issue of what people find acceptable in fandom seems to you, that you're not seeing the full picture.
people love an easy enemy. they love a valid target. it's so easy to moralize your discomfort to the point that you see people who make you uncomfortable as subhuman. do they really believe art can be equivalent to real life abuse? sometimes. but plenty of the time it's just a handy justification to be the boot on someone else's throat.
do you understand how damaging it is to be chased out of every community you care about, and every one you try to join after? do you know how terrifying it is to see your personal information in someone else's hands, to know they think you deserve the worst, to fear SWATing or accusatory calls to your employer or landlord or what the fuck ever? do you know how exhausting it is to fear every new relationship you make, every new community you join, worried that if their stances on fiction don't align with yours it might happen all over again? do you know how much it hurts to be called all sorts of monstrous things, things people BELIEVE about you, because of the fucking fanfic you wrote?
I get it, internet battles over fiction seem ridiculous. please look at the bigger picture. it's fascist controlling of the art other people can make, and it's a handy excuse to enact horrible abuse on people who ~clearly~ deserve it. do not belittle victims of these things just because it's all online, it doesn't seem like a threat to you, it seems pointless.
and it probably goes without saying that if you think anyone deserves any of that for the fiction they create or consume, get the fuck away from me.
#tox.txt#im very fucking tired of this being treated like its stupid when ive seen lives ruined over it#just because you dont understand or it isnt a threat to you specifically doesnt mean it isnt a real issue
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I saw your twt about holding back on telling stories with serious and deep tones and it reminded me of an issue I had a while back. Im a south park fan and I loved reading deep analysis of the characters. and south park being south park, people dont take it seriously and think its just funny so it doesnt deserve deep analysis like other forms of media. I always came across comments saying "its not that deep" or "doing all of that for south park" and I used to hate that so much because why are you commenting that under the authors post? In media there is like a "spectrum" of how deep you are in it as a fan, and it doesn't make you less of a fan if you like to binge watch the show when you feel like it because its funny. Someone who makes fan fiction and psychoanalyses the characters doesnt make them a better fan than you. I hate "it's not deep" because it is that deep to me, I enjoy it, but it dismisses critical thinking and discourages deep discussions about our interests. I want to learn more about the turning point for eric cartman and the friendship dynamics between the main 4. I want to read psychoanalysis of the characters and understand why they do the things they do. I loved reading fan fics with an author that understood how the characters work and put them in situations while making it believable. Whether the content was deep and serious or lighthearted and silly. I don't see those as cringe at all. What I see as cringe is trying to downplay someones time and effort. you dont care for it. cool, just dont make it our problem.
I believe in recent years, this cringe and its not that deep mentality is linked to media literacy/reading comprehension issues. On top of the fact, that fandoms right now has been "normalized", so alot of mean and rude kids and adults are in this space not having a mature and respectful conversation and discussions, as well as zero fandom etiquette. (I understand the past wasnt this magical respectful place but this behaviour has increased compared to past years).
Please don't worry about making deep content, its super fun and there will be fans of what you write/draw that will definitely be into it.
GOSH anon you are absolutely right. cringe culture has done some serious damage to people's creativity and freedom of expression. doing things in earnest is now cringe to so many people (specifically that 18-21 age where they think they're better than everyone else and everything is cringe to them, image is everything) and they actually give you shit for it?? it's crazy. the most harmless thing in the world. whenever my hey arnold comics would leave my target audience on instagram i would get the meanest comments for no fucking reason, because i was taking hey arnold "seriously" (nevermind that hey arnold is probably the nicktoon with the most emotional depth and moments besides ginger but i digress) but hey at least i'm not the one losing my marbles over some random cartoon comic on the internet.
i think rudeness in general has been too normalized not just in fandom, but in social media in general. it's sad. the only thing you can do about it is be kind as much as you can to counterbalance it. i'd like to think that rubs off on people just like how being rude rubbed off on them.
i said that thing about holding back because i'm admittedly too hard on myself sometimes. no one is calling me cringe or making fun of me for what i do, thankfully, people have been super cool and supportive. and it means a lot to me because i'm very earnest about everything i create, even when i try to hold back. i literally cannot help being myself. it's all i know how to do. i'm just glad i was able to grow a platform where i'm free to be openly passionate about the things i like, talk about them and why i like them, the little things that i find fascinating, the emotions they make me feel, all of that shit is awesome and i wish more people did that.
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I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)
But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'
Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!
#dc#dc comics#batverse#batfam#i do feel like i see too much beef and negativity abiut this kinda thing#i prefer to be a#i curate my own internet space#type of guy#but also i get it when your looking for fan content and so much of it is like đ#an interpretation you hate#anyway this is probs obvious but mostly about the robins#like tim is probs one of my fave robins#but people go too hard on the whump for my personal taste#esp when it feels a bit of a disservice to the other characters#give me nuance i love nuance!#of course- fanfic is free and it is also free to not read it so to be clear o dont actually give a shit what people write#be free#go write that ooc chat fic life is short do whats fun#thinkin these thoughts at a party where i only know my dad and my dads friend LOL#wait i have more thoughts- ALSO#it really is funny to me#to be like. wow. i loved this fic#i thought it was SO GOOD#And to be holding that thought and perspective in my head#while also being like. ooph.#picking apart all the problems i have with it now#and like how. maybe id still like it if i just pretend they're ocs?#i can sometimes do that- but not always because i often go to fic for a specific dynamic#and i get really frustrated when i gotta be like. who the fuck is this guy its not the one with their name in the tags#i can sometimes tho
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Have a crackpot theory: the people who enjoy most of the new police procedurals that have been coming out recently just secretly wanna watch soap operas but donât have the Guts
#this brought to you by my mother being physically pained by that new fbi show#I dunno what itâs called#she really liked the first seasons of Bones and Criminal Minds and the old CSIs#but the interpersonal drama in the new stuff physically repels her#and also me#I donât watch them you see because I know they will not fulfill my desire to watch little guys quip and Solve a Problem anymore#Iâm sure many show still do this!!#donât get me wrong#but the amount of shows that ratchet up tension with Cheating Spouses and Personal Vendettas and such is SUSPICIOUS#guys just write the soap opera you so dearly desire to#leave me with the silly little dregs#I know theyâve gotta make the show interesting but thereâs a line#once the drama starts coming from extraneous sources beyond the main Crime Solving Squadbyoi have gone too far for your genre#BaffledOcto#I was told to release this theory upon the internet#please donât hurt me police procedural squad#basic âpolice procedural: Evil Occurs and is Thwarted/Arrested/AvengedâEnd Scene#Soap Opera Police Procedural: Evil OccursâEvil OccursâSomeones Wife leaves themâMorality crisisâthe entire season has one continuous plot#both can be fun#but you can see the issue if youâre going in for a lil bit of Cathartic Justice and you accidentally trip into Seinfield Lite#you ever take a bite of pizza and accidentlaly drag off all the toppings at once? itâs like that#I will now cast an evil spell and summon the police procedural people so they can kick my teeth in#csi#bones#ncis#fbi#blue bloods#criminal minds
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is anyone else having trouble with images/videos loading on tumblr currently....
#it started last night#and i was like oh. must be my internet being weird. that's fine#but i've had it today too...#last night none of my dash would load#tonight my dash seems happy to load but nothing when i try searching something#actually i take that back#they're loading now i can see it in the background of this post lol#it took a few minutes i guess#weird#i don't think it IS my internet because everything else is fine#but idk maybe it's just me#this is on desktop but i had the same problem on my ipod touch this morning#although. it is an ipod touch. so. i don't put much weight behind that. it's very outdated
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Idk why every time I have a project that involves using the Register of the Great Seal for something even slightly more complex than looking up a single isolated charter, I always have a lovely plan where I think it will only take me a couple of hours to go in, check the index, and take the numbers I need down. And then I end up having to skimread the whole damn volume.
#No I know why#It's because the index is fucked up that's why#All due respect to those Victorian and Edwardian lads who went to the tremendous trouble of compiling all these sources#But this particular method of indexing leaves a lot to be desired#Does NOT have everything I need in it#And by the time you realise that some lands might pop up where least expected you start to convince yourself it would be safer#Just to read the whole thing#It's 800 pages long#I have been at this since 4 and I'm not even an eighth of the way through#Would be much quicker if I had the physical volume but it's a very old rare book so the library have it under strict control#Fortunately of course it HAS been digitised which is fantastic#Lots of sources for mediaeval Scottish history that were compiled into printed editions in the nineteenth century have been digitised#They are very easy to get ahold of and in my biased opinion it is easier to do online primary source research for Scotland than England#But 800 pages staring at a screen (which is NOT a format I can easily retain information from even if it didn't make my eyes hurt)#Having to physically scroll down the page rather than just flip a page#Is just not ideal#And this is the only volume in the series which is on Hathi rather than Internet Archive and personally I find indexes more difficult to us#On Hathi than internet archive#Anyway#That's how you end up making the bad decision to work your way through an 800 page volume and make yourself go blind#Just to find some charters#But I've already sunk several hours into this so can't give up now! I always vastly underestimate the amount of time it takes too#Also a certain degree of Ill as well. Like I feel I have to Suffer For My Craft-suffering being back problems and 19th century antiquarians#Alright this is officially the most boring rant I have ever had
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lmfao someone who commissioned AI generated images from Bing and tagged them as âfanartâ tried to follow me, an actual digital artist. Blocked.
#Newsflash: pressing buttons on Bing to make it chop up and mash together images from the internet does not make you an artist#I wouldnât have a problem with it if the process were ethical#and it picked from a specific database of work the artists consented to be uploaded to the mainframe#That would be fine; Iâd participate in that and give it art to see what it cranks out#But I still wouldnât call the end result art#Iâd call it⊠computer fever dream#Only after AI gains sentience can you call its work art#AI right now is awful#same with filters and all convenience-centric low-effort means of so-called âcreationâ#Itâs just a vehicle to let lazy anti-intellectuals with egos too large for their skill sets boast about how creative they are#at the expense of the people who actually put in the blood sweat and tears to create things#It reminds me of those kids in school who called themselves nerds when they werenât interested in learning at all#and actively picked on the real nerds with unconventional interests#Sorry but no. Youâre not smarter than everyone else and youâre not fooling anyone; if you want skills you have to work for it#Donât say youâre skilled when youâre not even trying to be; itâs genuinely offensive to those who do try at any skill level#Full offense#I donât have a problem with people who use certain types of AI for humor or describing what something they saw looks like#but I do have a problem with people taking credit they donât deserve#No youâre not an artist if you only use AI#pick up a pencil and put it to paper
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YESSSS THE SPRING SEMINAR IS HAPPENING MASTER'S THESIS HERE I COOOOME
#I'm stupid happy about this omg#because so far everything about my restarted master's have been just delays after delays and just all kinds of problems#that I can't do anything about#FINALLY things are going the way they're supposed to#though I probably won't graduate until like spring 2025 because uhh. *sweats* there's a new minor program in the faculty of arts#and I really really want to do that as an additional thing. and as long as I'm enlisted in the master's degree I can access it for free#I could take it after graduating but it'd cost me a few hundred so like. *gestures*#well I'm considering my options but hhhghghghgh I'm falling into the exact same rabbit hole as I did 11 years ago#too many cool things to study#anyway yesss at least I can get started on the thesis now#it's gonna be dope#if my proposition is accepted I'll be researching peer pedagogy as an integral part of the woke youth culture#meaning like. the informal pedagogics of young people educating one another on the internet and in real life#I've been rotating this subject in my head for the past four years and I'm so freaking stoked to finally get down to it#ugh I really hope it'll be accepted
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help :(
[Begin ID: Picture one is a screenshot of a search bar with the phrase "open home prevent cat from getting out of door".
Picture two is a stock photo of a 3D floor plan of an apartment where the kitchen and living room are not separated and the front door leads right into this space. A cat is poorly drawn into the room. An arrow leads from the cat out of the door. End ID]
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#cats#animals#so i live in a place like this. and i rly rly rly rly want to adopt a cat from the shelter#however#my place is not that big so i would have to leave all the doors open so the cat can get everywhere#problem is how do i stop it from getting out of the front door#i need some kind of barrier that separates the front door from the rest of the place#a barrier the cat can't get over or through#but i've got no idea#i'll scout the internet now for some ideas but so far i've found nothing#i've thought of an extra door. but how do you install an ecxtra door??? i thought maybe a curtain or smth.#but i need smth that lets light through#idk. i guess i won't be able to get a cat in my current living situation#ive actuially already picked one i like from the shelter's website :(#one day i'll get one. one day. in a few years hopefully. but if i won't move out... i have to come up w a solution#i can't stay catless for too long :(#btw i know therer is a term for this kind of living space. is it loft???? i'm not sure and i don'r care to look it up now
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I often times find myself wondering when interacting with people "am I doing this right?'"
It used to be even more often, I probably was really anxious about it back then. Now... not so much? I still find myself worrying a bit. And especially trying to find the correct "answer" or action to say or do. But. It's not really by any fault of my own. It's just what's expected of me in social situations doesn't always come naturally. So I'm awkward. But idk. While I'll always probably try to find the right answer for things, I'm a bit less worried than I used to be. And I suppose that's something good in a way.
#normal#oh. i dont have to be like this. i can do something different#who the fuck am i really.#diary#personal#i honeslty didnt even think this would turn out to be positive. like. i thought its be a bit more down.#but idk. despite knowing im probably doing a lot of things wrong. im still a bit happier this way.#its been a long while since ive just done things that are more true to myself and now worried about the consequences. so its kinda nice#idk. obviously in places like work i mask much more. but at a coffee shop. or talking with friends. or even alone in my bedroom -#i do it much less. i used to be so self-conscious. i wouldn't even dance alone in my room. its strange to think thats -#just how much pressure society exibits. its impressive really. id try not to do things incase it wasnt#i think in a way the internet really saved me from a lot of that. yeah it probably exasperated some of my problems but it also helps too?#i can find communities and learn about things i love even if i dont participate.#i suppose its nice just knowing#and thats opened up a lot of avenues for me. like. knowing i dont need to be in a relationship. that i can collect stuffed toys.#that i can be obsessed with something stupid. just. a lot of small things like that? it sorta takes off that huge pressure to conform.#idk. i used to be so fixated on conforming and participating. and my mom quite litterally taught me to.#she always used to tell me about how when she had to move around she had to make consessions like that.#or how she didnt like it either just talking with the girls or whatever. so i sorta just thought of it all as normal.#so i just tried more and more and more to press myself into a mold without ever really caring what i liked. or thought#like. i knew what i wanted. but that wasnt right. so i id just. cut off bits n peices of myself.#i remember being oh so frustrated thinking and its so odd to think of now.#because now i just am. and even when im sad im happy. its peaceful really.#really though. being able to label things. and figure out stuff about myself and psychology and everything was amazing#im really glad ive both changed so much - yet really not at all at the same time#i still like the same things i did when i was 6. im still exactly the same at my core tbh.#but im much different from who i was in my teens. to me it really feels like just accepting who i always was.#and like. letting myself be who i was and am. i am me and thats sorta that?#idk. im just philosophizing myself yet again. but i also really enoys doing that XD
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GET KOSA TRENDING.
STOP SCROLLING NOW!
AS OF FEBRUARY 21ST, 2024, WE GOT FIVE DAYS UNTIL THE DAY OF DECISION OF THE KOSA BILL, WHICH WILL CAUSE MASS CENSORSHIP ROUND THE INTERNET IF PASSED. WE NEED EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS AND CONTRIBUTE. I'M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU ALL.
(IMPORTANT UPDATE: Kosa will not necessarily pass on the 26th. It only has the support to pass in Senate, and we STILL HAVE TIME. That being said, time is of the essence.)
WE'RE DOWN TO THE WIRE BUT WE CAN'T GIVE UP YET. IF WE GIVE UP, EVERYTHING IS OVER. IF WE DON'T, AT LEAST WE HAVE A CHANCE.
I'M THE ONE WHO SOUNDED THE ALARM, AND I'M NOT GOING TO CURL UP AND DIE YET.
Reblog this post in every LEGAL way you can under the Tumblr guidelines with the appropriate tags. TELL AND TAG EVERYONE YOU KNOW, then add the tags to see below... and more if you can think of any complying.
Visit badinternetbills.com if you want to find a way to defeat KOSA. It WILL NOT take much of your time. Reblog with any other information or sources, too-- but make sure to reblog if you can.
Reblog if you support lgbtq+ content.
Reblog if you support questioning queer youth and/or abused youth getting the information they need.
Reblog if you support Ao3 and/or other sites that wholeheartedly preserve talentedly made media.
Reblog if you're going to repost this on other sites than Tumblr and spread the word across Twitter, Tik Tok, Pinterest, or elsewhere, alongside the link to badinternetbills.com.
Reblog if you think KOSA is unfair and shouldn't be anyone's problem -- including the adults ALL OVER THE DAMN EARTH forced to face the mass censorship it causes because "think of the American Children!".
Reblog if you support internet activism and Palestine.
Reblog if you hate fascism or censorship, and don't want actually serious and helpful conversations censored on the internet.
Reblog if you value the internet in any way at all whatsoever.
CHECK THIS PETITION, TOO! https://www.change.org/p/stop-the-kosa?recruiter=1331807538&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=sms&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf&recruited_by_id=57368c40-d0fd-11ee-98f7-2175430f819f&share_bandit_exp=initial-36809664-en-US
(Also, please reblog with at least "stop kosa" as a tag and not "kosa". I made the mistake of not adding just "kosa" as a tag...)
We won't let this stand any longer. Let's start a riot and get this trending.
#meme#memes#kosa bill#Stop kosa#bad internet bills#stop censorship#anti censorship#internet censorship#internet freedom#internet culture#Internet#signal boost#media preservation#social media#social justice#archive of our own#Ao3#stop kids online safety act#very important post#important#anti conservative#antifascist#Fanfic#Fanfiction#Headcanons#LGBT#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq rights#lgbtq community
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man, i just want to see if there's any threads about silent hill 2 remake breaking so hard it doesn't even boot up anymore but all i find are people being evil about women on the internet
#happy halloween i guess#the real frights (besides all of the beautiful women skittering along the walls with their many legs)#were the men we found complaining on the internet that 'they made the women ugly and that's censorship' along the way#that prison level sure can is scary#so scary that it fucking broke my entire game lmao#gonna reinstall and see if that fixes it but was hoping i would not have to do that on my shitty rental internet đ©#i will say that this game runs like ass to anyone who is considering it#i'm running it on medium graphics with specs above the recommended and she still do chug when there's more than one thing happening#and let me say there are often several things happening#probably things i could tweak to make it run better but god as soon as i have to tweak a game to get it to you know. run well. i'm gone.#i just miss my wife my beautiful wife#too bad she died three years ago of that damn disease and no sooner than that by any other means or et cetera#i'm sure these thematically loaded ladies who keep hurting me from behind corners hold no particular significance#just a regular trip to my special place that is now the dead wife hell dimension where a large man is hunting me for sport#a large man who is the embodiment of sexually charged masculine violence#which i'm sure means nothing#and is hunting me to mete out specific and thematically hamfisted judgment#for some wrongdoing or another#which could honestly be anything#shoutout to the one guy on steam who is like um was i supposed to get what happened on a first playthrough?#and like. well. yes. because it literally and directly tells you. so yes. sorry.#i will also say that if it destroyed my save in the process#well. i would not like that very much.#but i suppose the real problem is that they made the women ugly. because of woke. the DEI ghouls are taking everything from us.#[picture of average skinny white woman]
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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REBLOGS ARE OFF CAUSE THIS GUIDE IS TERRIBLE AND YOU DESERVE BETTER
I will instead redirect you to THIS more comprehensive guide, and cobalt.tools. Cobalt solves the problem of low quality video when you're done with VLC, and it can also take videos from a dozen other social media platforms.
Support the cobalt dev and the better guide writer, not me. I'm just a person who boiled down a wikihow guide and a youtube tutorial into a TLDR. I did not do very much work. They have.
I might turn reblogs back on, but for now I implore you to put your attention where it's needed most. Thanks for understanding. (original post under the cut)
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alright i am sick of yt to mp4 sites being shady and full of viruses and finding websites that seem to be working and then don't work
so HERE'S HOW YOU DOWNLOAD YOUTUBE VIDEOS WITH VLC!! VLC FREAKIN RULES!!
get your youtube link
open vlc, go to media > open network stream
paste your url in the box and PRESS PLAY!
wait for the video to open then go to tools > codec information
copy the entire file location (click the box, then ctrl-a to select all, then ctrl-c to copy)
paste into your browser of choice (i use firefox)
right click video and press "save video as", choose your file format if you want
DONE! NO VIRUSES OR SKETCHY STUFF!
the quality might be a little crummy but if you don't mind that, then shabam! video on your computer! then you can email it to yourself and have it on your phone too if you want! if you need a guide with pictures wikihow has you covered my friends
happy downloading and stay safe on the internet :D
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