#nothing to be done and i cannot leave.
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#doodle#crappy art#emeraldotter's deer obsession continues#there is no point in talking about it#nothing to be done and i cannot leave.#make no mistake they will be lining up and shooting all of us eventually not just some
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WhatsApp simply forced an AI inside of it's app and the thing is SO UGLY. Literally ugly! There's a hovering button and it's colors aren't even in the WhatsApp colors so now the main page makes me feel so overwhelmed..... i hate it so much
#rant#->#and no i cant leave the app#whatsapp is the most used app in brazil#we simply cannot live without it. it's our communication method#telegram is filled with right wingers#ughhhhhh#now my statuses are filled with all my contacts 'having fun' with it#friends etc#feels like losing a war for real#i hate it here. i hate how everything in brazil ends up in pizza (national expression for 'every discussion will end up in a joke')#nobody really cares about nothing at all. they will fight as long as nobody spits a joke out. once someone does we're all friends again#this is why we can't get shit done#im so tired#sorry for the rant#nonsims#non sims
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my reaction to that information
#''sonic movie 4 coming march 2027 !!'' TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOWWWW#im so done with the scu. i liked the first two movies even if i was able to admit theyre flawed but i just am not having fun anymore#like you already made a god awful knuckles show that had nothing to do with knuckles#and an sa2 adaptation where you made every bad decision possible and clearly had zero respect for half the characters in the original game#can you just leave sonic ALONE already. you got your successful movie trilogy and spinoff series. surely thats enough.#and before anyone says anything about just ignoring it if im not having fun#its pretty hard to do that with how Everywhere they are and how they impact peoples perceptions of the characters#ughhh#and im not trying to gatekeep sonic or whatever#but i also cannot stand seeing waves of people who dont know a thing about sonic praising the movie#when theyre incapable of seeing whats wrong with it because they dont play the games
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her “you aren't worthy” when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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black eyes
#my stuff#my writing#mein fucking goat i cannot keep having dreams about my ex and yet it is happening still#this is one of the less remarkable ones even. i’ve had two in the past month where i try desperately to give them a flatscreen tv#and one of those big ones too. like 40 inches across. i don’t own a flatscreen tv#i’ll admit it being in singapore is hitting me like a brick to the balls and i am grievously unwell#it’s like i come back and all the work i put in to deal with my anxiety and depression gets high in the woods and dies#but that’s not the point. the point is devoid of friends (in fucking america) and a hyperfixation (haven’t found anything that’s stuck)#i am full of nothing but yearning. good ol classic yearning. and i am so moved on from my ex but i keep trying to give them this fucking tv#!!!! ?????? huh????????????? mayne got………#a girlfriend or a cat would fix me. or leaving this country take your pick#working on it#i’ve made a to do list to combat my i have lost the will to do things problem#and on it is APPLY TO JOBS (note; outside singapore (note: outside america too))#i have a plan and it’s to get as far away as possible and live#we’re getting there#in the meantime here’s a funny poem#i was so. in the dream i actually wanted to see them which is crazy. top 10 bad fan characterizations#but it was a dream with a good color palette. all cool whites and grays and a deep deep blue for the night#cold cold white snow. etc. so of course i had to write about it#which i have done. and now i am going to sleep#good bye
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Has any in the comic ever made a joke about sabertooth being wolverine’s evil ex boyfriend?
Short answer: No.
Long Answer: No. Sabretooth tortures Logan at any chance. Be it beating him to a pulp every birthday just cause-and to inset Logan as a replacement for Saul.
To manipulating Logan whenever his losing parts of his memory and then tearing him down mentally and emotionally.
Sabretooth only wants Logan back to his wild more feral side cause he just wants another person to fuck shit up with-and to just further prove embracing the beast over humanity is the right choice. And he will make Logan’s life absolutely miserable until Logan will admit that he’s right.
#ooc#question and answer#like I guess I can see some of the reason why people ship them#to me I just can’t get over the real power imbalance between them#like Victor has shown he just doesn’t care about about being a monster#he’ll make the same choices again and again because he cannot be wrong in how his view is#and yet that’s just going to leave him completely alone#there was a very brief moment where Victor and Logan got along but that didn’t last long#cause victor’s love interest was killed and he blames Logan for not being able to stop it#even though Logan tried to warn him ahead of time#to Victor he’s never at fault#and really AoA is the only version I really enjoy cause it’s the comeuppance of everything he’s done#and he had nothing to do but reflect#wolverine#sabretooth
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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write to me
#I drew this when I was VERY stressed (days ago)#bee doodles#Tuvok/Janeway#Janeway/Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager art#letter writing and the preparation of warm beverages#Janeway & Tuvok seem like they'd call each other things like 'my other half' and 'my moral center' and 'my dearest companion' but then you#ask if they're dating and they're like Noooo. Absolutely not. and they're not but they are coming into each other's rooms at night#because neither of them can sleep well and talking about Mark & T'Pel while they lean against one another (holding the warm mugs instead of#hands - that comes later when they can pretend that maybe they were asleep)#because they're the only ones who know Mark & T'Pel - you're the only part of my old life that's here and that's a comfort and that's a#tragedy (because I care about you too much to want you here but I need you too much to wish you were anywhere else - and maybe I'm too#selfish too and too afraid to be alone) and when they're talking about Mark & T'Pel they can ignore the fact that they're leaning against#each other and how good the weight feels and how much their chests ache and how much they want more. Not even sex or a kiss but something#steady that lasts. (hold me close even if you can't tell me it'll be alright)#two people who're loyal to everything - too loyal to ask for what they want. They aren't dating because they're married to ghosts now and#to leave that haunted house would be to admit that there's nothing left there - that the grieving's done - and if the grieving's done then#the loving is too. It has to matter - it has to be present to be real (follow Starfleet rules follow Social rules follow the rules we make#up on the fly and honor as if they've been longstanding. Build a little life with me. Define strong lines we cannot cross. Look into my eyes#to make sure I'm not longing. Double check. Triple check. Don't look away. Please.)#When I want to hear your voice I'll read the words you've written - but I won't ask you to stay#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok
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Me when I get another 2k words into another Helix fic despite having not finished any of the previous ones: 😔😭✍✨
#Helix#SCII#Leave me alooooonnneeee#They cannot I cannot I'm love them ;;#Tonight! Tonight 2.7k from nothing! Stop!!!#Okay well technically not from nothing I made new doodles yesterday and actually?? roughed this initially like a year ago??#I genuinely didn't expect that concept to go anywhere I thought it was a semi-frustrated one-and-done but no#It was just waiting to jumpscare-haunt me lol#Not my fault that I accidentally thought of a good lead-up that ended up being fun and easy to write to tie into the rest...#I skipped like half a scene but apart from that it's just been all go#Which has culminated in maybe the most awkward line I've ever written in anything lol#I love Max he's great <3#Hhghhgh I need to finish a Helix fic at some point any of them just one at least I'll go stir crazy if I don't
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Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 4.5 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 //
i haven't forgotten about this series just yet hopefully i'll finish it by this year. anyway this is titled "joseph is dramatic for about 20 minutes"
#identity v#joseph desaulnier#identity v photographer#unconcerned comic#modern ghost au#ok maybe i did forget about it. but then i received a notification of someone liking it so i revisited this comic series#n i got invested again. i only have till the next part planned out n i dont even think i was very satisfied with the draft#i do want to finish this though i hate leaving projects on hold#if u see me being lazy with backgrounds no u didnt /j#this was simultaneously the most fun and most torturous part of the series i think#cos one of the main ideas i had was joseph getting wick to pick up the locket and making a run for it#at the same time. i hate drawing wick i cannot draw dog. sorry wick nothing personal buddy#anyway this is done. expect the next part but not anytime soon. the goal now is to have this done before the year is over
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Nothing by Emilie Autumn makes me think of. Ouro and Solei ("first one" as in, Solei leaves and such)
No way..... This is so crazy. It fits Ouro and Solei so scarily well???? How did you find this Kellie. It's genuinely almost to a T. Thank you so much for this!!!
#ouro “i make them die and i feel nothing”#“she should be dead by now with everything ive done to her”#EVERYTIME I WATCH THEM DIE IM THINKING ONLY OF THE FIRST ONE. THE FIRST ONE#solei “there is a voice telling me my time is at its end”#“others... i cannot leave them”#youre brilliant for this i thank you wholeheartedly#alnst oc: solei#guardian ouro#asks
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begging & pleading for my mother to leave me alone for just one fucking day please.
#i have had such a weekend and parts of it were very good but other parts were horrible and i am So Done.#like i genuinely just need to sit and not do anything for a day before i can be functional#i was going to bake today to at least get my cake done but i just do not have the mental energy#txt#'what are you doing' 'nothing.' 'then do something' PLEASE JSUT LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEE#This is why i hate living with people i literally need days where i cannot do anythihg and the pressure makes it Worse. like#yes family is coming. yes theyre gonna be here next week. i know. I know. I KNOW. IM NOT STUPID. PLEASE JUST LET ME DO NOTHING FOR ONE DAY#I CAN DO THINGS AFTER THAT BUT OH MY GKD PLEASE. ONE DAY. THANK YOU.
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not to beat a dead horse but jesus christ can you just leave people alone in public bathrooms i just want to fucking piss girl i'm so tired of feeling anxious and trying to avoid using public bathrooms because of how fucking weird cis people are about it. i tried to go into the bathroom at work today (i have worked here for years) and this woman who has worked here for two weeks and doesn't know me laughed and tried to like. steer me in the direction of the men's toilet instead and was like "wrong way!" are you fucking kidding me fuck off
#i have worked in this building for years. i know where the fucking bathroom is#like i'm sorry but cis people just don't want me in any bathroom at this point. i can't fucking win#i'm not kidding you i didn't really think that people in real life would actually make a fuss over who is in the bathroom#but at uni specifically i have had A LOT of people in the womens bathroom awkwardly tell me “uh i think you're in the wrong bathroom haha”#they're not even doing it in an antagonistic way it's like they genuinely think i've walked into the wrong one#and it makes ME feel like a creep or like i've done something wrong#like you guys are the ones that insist i should be in this bathroom !!!! but then i go in there and get told i'm in the wrong one !!!!#it's one of the few things that never fails to make me feel anxious and sad because it's a fucking bathroom it shouldn't be a big deal#why am i being made to feel like i've done something wrong when i'm just trying to exist here like everyone else#and you know what. it doesn't matter how i identify right. because i've actually done nothing to intentionally masculanise my appearance#like the entire time i've been out. i had short hair before i came out and i dressed this way before i came out#i have not done anything to try and Look Like A Man or Look Cis. i just have masc bone structure NATURALLY#so for all you know i could just be a woman with short hair ????? and you're telling me i don't belong in here because of that ??#like sure i'm NOT a woman with short hair but my point is you literally cannot tell the difference#so just leave people alone
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#cw// ed#didnt check my weight today but it doesnt change much so its probably about the same. anyway#i keep thinking about how im at my lowest weight in 1615241616 years#and how every time ive admitted ive been at a higher weight than this#and how things seem stable day to day but over the past few months have def slowly and steadily deteriorated as far as intake + variety#and how realistically i cannot keep doing this and expect nothing to happen#but at the same time lalalalalala i cant see it i cant hear it everything is fine!! i am fine!!#going to treatment again wont fucking fix me lmao#itll just give my ed temporary validation and make me gain weight that ill lose as soon as i leave#bc I don't actually want to change#theres no point in going back bc it hasnt done anything for me thats stuck#and im not dying so whatever#if it comes to it ill do a hospital stay or whatever but it wont bc im not that good at having an ed. so.#or maybe im fucking delusional who knows!!! rip
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i don’t hold grudges, but i only let people break my trust once and not trusting someone is a relatively similar phenomenon.
#like. do i HATE people who have done me wrong or waste my time thinking about how much they suck? no.#hate is exhausting and i have many better things to do#but do i experience anxiety due to having to work with people i don’t trust? ABSOLUTELY.#so that’s why my shitty coworker and manager being gone is such a big deal to me#nothing either of them could do would EVER make me trust them again#and my direct boss is also a part of that and i think she knows that#i have more personal affection for her as a friend#i think she’s just a bad people manager who accepted bad direction from her own boss#but also like… grow a spine and defend your autistic employee - you know??#and i will never forget that and i will never have trust with her again#i’m not MAD. i’m just disappointed and you only get to disappoint me once#after that - it’s just par for the course as far as i’m concerned#and i am getting out of this town#not a thing could make me stay#and i do suspect that i will leave before my boss does#but i hope she’s figured out by now that i would not mourn her loss either#and i will not mourn my own even a little bit!#i cannot WAIT to move on#but with my boss’s boss gone the necessary wait will be a little easier
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