#nothing stood out to me at all
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"Don't fucking give Holly a Pikachu that's so basic."
"Why would Dan have Diglett." "Bald."
"I'd rather die than say Doc has a Chansey/Audino."
"I feel like Walker would just... hate Pokemon."
"What if Dan told everyone he had some fucked up looking Stantler and it turns out he had Arceus."
#this is me talking to myself btw lmao#literally went down the list of pokemon by number#nothing stood out to me at all#i feel like instead of going by looks i should go by function#so like Walker might have a flying pokemon to scout ahead#Doc would have a medical one but I DONT want to just go with Chansey its so basic#Karlee would have a lone wolf kinda pokemon#what if#what if Hoffman's dad was like “here's a starter pokemon” and it was like a really shitty one#“Hey this Pokemon took up too much space. Just like you.” its like a fuckin Relicanth
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Now that Critical Role's VOD of episode 120 is out and everyone in the fandom's had a moment to breathe, simmer, and adjust to this all. I wanna do a big talk about my favourite idiot punk rock, Ashton Greymoore.
Because over these last few episodes, I've been so proud of them.
Many people have had vocal opinions on Ashton, not all of them positive either; I've seen many berate them and say they're selfish, not a team player, or that they 'don't add anything to the group'. But over the past few episodes, I feel like Ashton has been an unsung hero in the battles with Ludinus and Predathos, with their contributions, oftentimes selfless and cooperative, ending up providing the floor for others to deliver strong and impactful actions.
While Dorian and Imogen will rightfully get the lion's share of praise for their clutch moments - Dorian's Force Cage on Ludinus saving Liliana and defeating Predathos' first stage alongside Imogen's Power Word: Stun setting up Ludinus' death and defeating Predathos' second stage - Ashton's actions were often the prelude to moments that could not have succeeded without them, including these clutch moments. Their attack on Ludinus in 117 prompted the Silvery Barbs that burned up his reaction - which allowed Dorian to successfully use Force Cage without being Counterspelled, their high-damage attack on his neck hole in 118 broke Ludinus' concentration on Ravenous Void - which somehow later got credited to Chetney - which gave Imogen the freedom and mobility to get in range for Power Word: Stun, they got the Insight check whisper on Predathogen in 119 to know that Imogen was physically inside of the body and needed to be pried out - which Imogen achieved herself thanks in part to Fearne reaching her, and recently in 120 they pulled Imogen out of Predathos' maw, abandoning the Hammer synonymous with their character (to the point that Keyleth titled them the 'Paradox Hammer') to prioritize saving their friend, which - following Dorian's healing - gave her the chance to use the Ring of Remembrance for the finishing Meteor Swarm. Not to mention all the other damage they dealt and tanked throughout the four fights, the passive d4 bonuses and advantage they gave the party (almost acting partly as a secondary paladin or a tertiary bard) to buff their damage and saving throws, and accepting the risk of disintegration when Laudna used their Hammer's spell splitter - which forced Predathos to use its final Legendary Resistance.
The Disintegrate moment itself was tense because we all know that Ashton is high among the Hells who would sacrifice themselves to save the group - a mentality most of the Hells likely shared in this fight - but fortunately they don't have to, they'll never have to, and they gained something just as if not more valuable than a heroic sacrifice: they get to live. The person who before meeting these chucklefucks believed they'd likely die face-down in a ditch in some backwater alley and thrown into an unmarked grave AT BEST gets to live, and the people that mean most to them get to live thanks to their efforts, their successes. And that's the most important part; for all the times they couldn't help or save someone because they were unconscious or out of reach, for all the times they let their imposter syndrome tell them they're just a fuckup undeserving of trust, praise, or love, and for every fear they had that one day they'd mess up and this new family of theirs will abandon them like the Nobodies did, this time they were there standing beside their people to the very end - and they helped get them out alive. No mistakes, no carelessness, and no-one left behind.
For that, I am proud of Ashton Greymoore; not Bells Hells' Weapon but their Helm, not a Blunt Instrument but a Protector, and not a Hero who needs to do 'what needs to be done' but a Friend who is saving their people no matter the odds. Under all the hardened and rugged exterior that has always been who Ashton is - the perfectly flawed character they are.
#*slams fist* SAVIOUR OF THE BROKEN THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED!#And it's not to say that Ashton's the only one that deserves credit because they all do but I'm giving Ashton their flowers now#and yeah they're still an idiot punk rock but they keep getting to remake themselves and I'm happy for them#they still represent the philosophy associated with kintsugi - wabi-sabi: the beauty of the imperfect impermanent and incomplete#*slams fist again* you can't hide the cracks but you can embrace the repairs#they were so beaten up from these fights but nothing rings truer for Ashton than 'the body breaks but the soul refuses to die'#also by helm I mean like a helmsman not a helmet just fyi - they help steer BH; line up the enemies so the others can knock them down#I am proud of all the Hells too...mostly - Braius still needs to regain their trust - but everyone did their part to keep everyone alive#We all know that Tal has - or at least puts on - a level of detachment with their PCs in case they die but I'm so relieved they didn't#Ashley was relieved too - just pointing it out there for Fearne 'I have Silvery Barbs from Rogue to save my rock' Calloway#you two have weird mushrooms to enjoy - also like the rest of your lives together#Still wish we got a Titan combo but I'll take them all surviving over seeing it and them dying#Seeing them set up Imogen for a clutch spell twice reminds me how underrated their bond is; which pairs with their sibling bond with Laudna#There's still the matter of Vassalheim and the Gods ofc but this is not the first firing squad BH has stood before this campaign#but I do feel like the fighting needs to be over for the campaign - as in no more combat - lest it devalues Predathos as a final boss#Ludie2/Twodinus is still out there though ¬_¬ maybe he'll be a one shot returner like Delilah Trent and Uk'otoa (Uk'otoaaa)#I do hope the collapse of the core doesn't fully destroy Ruidus either - Gaz Tomo the Myceit and the Bormodo kinda live there#we also need to know what happened to Fy'ra Morrighan Deanna FRIDA Prism and Deni$e - where are they? Did they fight?#*slams fist a third time for no reason* my hand hurts now#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e120#ashton greymoore#bells hells#ludinus da'leth#imogen temult#laudna#predathos#dorian storm
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Super Rich Kids
Close my eyes and feel the crash...
I wrote this one on post-its on a trans-continental flight after my phone (where i was re-reading the raven cycle) died. 0/10 plane experience would not recommend but I did manage to entertain myself! And now hopefully you as well!
When Ronan pulled into Monmouth Manufacturing he knew Gansey wouldn’t be there. Adam Parrish was, though, sitting on the steps in the golden afternoon light, bike dumped to the side in dying grass. He didn’t so much as flicker an eyelid when Ronan bootlegged the BMW into an approximation of parking on the far side of the lot, which was fine because that’s how he would have parked the car anyway, whether or not Adam was here.
Ronan was pretty sure that Gansey had arranged a shift system with the other boys, to prevent Ronan from being unaccompanied on the rare occasions of his own absence. The idea of a babysitter should have rankled Ronan, but Adam did not seem particularly invested in his role. Small favors.
As he got out of the car he gave Adam his customary once-over, as brief as it was habitual. You could notice a lot in a single glance, if you were Ronan, glancing at Adam.
Adam was wearing long sleeves (his father? Or just because it was October?) and his faded camo pants, the ones Ronan said made him look like a jingoistic meathead. They had recently acquired a tear in one knee. Not in the stylish, deliberate manner in which Ronan’s own jeans were shredded, but awkwardly, in an L-shape, where they had caught on some jagged edge and given way before even careful Adam had noticed and unhooked himself. The tear gaped open at times, like it was doing now, revealing Adam’s knobby left knee and, worse, a triangle of his brown thigh.
Ronan looked away.
Ronan never allowed himself, even in dreams, to trespass beyond the carefully demarcated boundaries of Adam’s clothes. And Adam was usually helpful in the maintenance of this boundary. Unlike Gansey, who could be found working on his model Henrietta in boxers at all hours of the night, or wandering to and from the shower in a towel, absent-mindedly forgetting his clothes in bathroom or bedroom. Unlike the boys Ronan played tennis with, who stripped down casually in the locker room after practice. Unlike even Ronan himself, who’d never met a shirt he couldn’t rip the sleeves off; Adam was always fully covered.
This summer, foolishly, Ronan had imagined that this might change. Now that the hideous secrets Adam protected with his long sleeves were no longer his alone. But by now he knew what kept those sleeves in place, something that Adam had already understood: that knowing and seeing are two very different things.
For example: this. Ronan knew that Adam, like most people who walked around on earth under their own power, possessed thighs. Two of them, attached in the normal way to other body parts, such as knees and hips. To know this was one thing.
Now that he’d seen it, he couldn’t stop seeing it. The way his knee bent, and the muscle above shifted as Adam made room on the steps for him. Ronan was looking away, out at the familiar, grounding, skid marks on the concrete of Monmouth’s lot, but he could picture in their place with deadly accuracy the hinge of Adam’s knee, the tanned skin of his thigh, scattered with golden-brown hair. He could dream about pressing his face against it.
He picked up a rock and hurled it. It glanced off the side of the soulless suburban and fell anticlimactically into the grass dying by the rear tire. It didn’t help.
Adam shifted next to him, subtly.
“What?” said Ronan. “Impressed?”
“Surprised, more like. I thought you were supposed to be the tennis star.”
“You think you can do better?” Ronan pried another hunk of gravel or concrete out of the dirt and tossed it in his left hand, tauntingly.
“I know I can.”
“But?”
“But,” said Adam, with some hint of exasperation coloring his voice, “I’m not going to sit here chunking rocks at Gansey’s car to prove it. My ego’s not that fragile.” His accent slipped out on chunkin’, not as if Ronan had pissed him off enough to forget to hide it, but as if it was a word he’d never used any other way.
Ronan threw his rock again. This was, if anything, a worse throw than before, and it skittered harmlessly across the suburban’s roof.
Adam made a small but contemptuous noise.
“Don’t give me that shit, man. You know he hates this fucking car.”
“That was for your shitty aim.”
“Come on then.” Ronan hefted another piece of gravel. “Ten points if you knock out his taillight.”
“It costs a hundred and five dollars to replace a taillight on that make and model. Plus tax.”
Ronan’s brief cheer was collapsing again. “I’ll pay you a hundred bucks to bust Dick’s lights.”
Adam blinked slowly, his dusty eyelashes obscuring the contempt in his eyes for a brief moment. “I’ll leave.” (He wouldn’t).
Ronan dropped the rock. Next to him Adam sighed. Abruptly, he put out his hand. “Telephone pole. Six feet from the top.”
Ronan swept back up the rock and dropped it into his hand. Their fingers did not touch. His heart thudded.
Adam tossed the rock once, testing its weight while his gaze, cool and assessing, remained on the telephone pole. It was a splintered, tilting thing, shamed by his attentions. In one smooth, economical movement, he rose to his feet and let the rock fly. His leg went forward, knee jutting out of his clothes, his back curved, and his arm swept around in an arc, fingers scraping at the blue October sky. Ronan didn’t need to turn his head to know if the rock hit—he could see it in the brief hard satisfaction on Adam’s face.
Adam turned back to him, one eyebrow cocked.
“You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to earn that hundred,”
Adam shrugged. The gesture was disinterested, but there was a quirk to his mouth that contradicted it. “I know nothing blew up, but…”
Ronan already had another rock in his hand. “West corner lightbulb. It breaks or it doesn’t count.” Adam rolled his eyes, but turned agreeably to watch Ronan miss.
“Would you like to get your tennis racket?”
“Eat me,” said Ronan. (Maybe).
They traded shots back and forth for a while, calling increasingly specific and complex plays.
“Bullshit. Bullshit.”
“Get the government to pay for some glasses, Parrish, and then come back and try to tell me that wasn’t a fucking bullseye—”
“It wasn’t even close! You—”
“You calling me a liar?” Ronan loomed, and Adam, as usual, was unimpressed.
“Just because you don’t lie doesn’t make you right all the time! Like when you said that quote on Tuesday was Seneca. It doesn’t stop being Martial just because you’ve got a child’s sense of morality—”
“See, right there.” Ronan pointed triumphantly at an invisible scuff mark on the doorsill, marking where his handful of gravel had made impact.
Adam gave it a skeptical glance. His face was faintly flushed from exertion in the cold air, but his eyes were as cool and considering as ever. “What we need,” he said, “is a knife.”
Ronan was not allowed knives.
~
“Are you trying to stab each other in the feet? Why are your shoes off! It’s October!”
“Equal playing field.” Ronan wiggled his toes against the cold asphalt. “Parrish’s shitty knife is no match for my boots.” Over Gansey’s head, Ronan tried to catch Adam’s eye, to share a ‘can you believe him’ sort of look. Adam’s embarrassment over being caught acting irresponsibly meant Ronan could expect the look to be rebuffed, but he couldn’t help himself from trying it anyway.
Adam was bent over, eyes hidden. He carefully dusted off his socked feet one at a time before sliding them back into his shoes, as though the socks or sneakers could look any worse. A little parking lot crud might improve their appearance, actually.
Next to him, Gansey was still fussing. Without the pressure release valve of eye contact with someone who knew Gansey was overreacting, Ronan snapped, “Come off it, man, I’m not going to slit my throat while Parrish watches. He can’t afford that caliber of snuff film.”
Gansey’s concern transformed into revulsion, but underneath it he looked hurt, which was far far worse.
Adam straightened up. “We were just using it to mark where we hit. Honestly, we could have done it tossing a sharpie, but neither of us had one.” He sounded conciliatory, which pissed Ronan off. But Gansey was letting it go, returning the knife to Adam with an apologetic smile. Sorry for the fuss. Sorry for Ronan. Ronan’s bare feet were cold against the asphalt.
“Well? Are you going to throw or not, Parrish?” he said belligerently.
Adam rolled his eyes, but obligingly stooped for gravel and let one fly at Ronan’s open bedroom window, a shot he made easily.
Gansey whistled. “You’ve got quite the arm on you. How come you’re not on the Algionby baseball team?”
Adam shifted his feet, awkwardly.
“Please,” scoffed Ronan, “he’s not a team player.”
Gansey did not let it go. “Bet you’d have a better fastball than both our pitchers.”
There was a pause, during which Adam’s face clearly showed all of the thoughts he was trying to corral into a polite response to Gansey’s unconsidered enthusiasm. Ronan got there first. “Yeah, Parrish, why not hitch your wagon to the star of organized sports, like every other rags to riches wannabe?”
“Ronan!” said Gansey, Ronan’s offensiveness registering where his own had not.
“Hitch my wagon to a star?” Adam was unruffled. “I thought quoting Transcendentalists could get you excommunicated.”
“Who said I know it’s Emerson. It’s a sourceless idiom to those of us who aren’t sad little nerds.”
Adam smirked. The smirk said, I never said Emerson. His words said, “Gansey’s damning me with faint praise. No one’s going pro out of an Algionby sport team. Even tennis.”
“Ouch,” said Ronan, cheerfully. “Hit me where it really hurts. My school pride.”
~
Now that Gansey had arrived, his plans for the day took precedence over noble pastimes such as flipping pocketknives at each other’s feet. His plans involved comparing readings from various instruments and then placing said various instruments in various new locations, all of which were equally arbitrary (to Ronan’s eyes) and inaccessible. Gansey’s plans involved him waiting by the car to monitor the readings while people hiked with antennae to the outermost reaches of the signal. People, in this instance, being Ronan and Adam, Noah having mysteriously and silently fucked off, as he so often did when a job required carrying anything.
Ronan put his head down and trudged. It was brambly here, and slightly damp, and he was beginning to work up the kind of counter-intuitive sweat that appears from working in the cold, the kind that makes you colder later.
As the person leading the hike, custom would dictate that he should catch and hold the long clinging arms of the brambles for the following hiker. This presented a dilemma. Ronan compromised, and set about stomping the multiflora into the ground as he walked. Scarlet hips burst under his feet, invasive and beautiful, spreading their millions of seeds across the damp earth. Noxious weeds.
“It’s too unreliable,” said Adam, into the silence. “Sports. It all depends on… your physical condition.”
“And your condition is shit.”
There was Adam’s ironic smile. “Yes. So.” He shrugged. There was the part they weren’t saying, which was that his physical condition could always get worse. Unexpectedly.
“My dad hates baseball.” Ronan heard himself make the slip—hates and not hated—and a spark of fury burned through him, brief and inconsequential.
“My dad loves it.”
They marched on in silence.
Adam swore as a bramble Ronan had beaten down sprang up again, catching him right across the tear, where his skin was exposed. He bent to unhook it from the camo with deft, deliberate hands. “What?” he said, like he could feel Ronan’s eyes.
Ronan looked away. “Why not the military?” He kicked purposelessly at the bramble and heard Adam sigh. “And don’t tell me you never thought about it. Test scores like yours out in hicksville high school, you must have had recruiters hopping all over you like fleas.”
“Would you believe I had a moral objection?” Adam’s smile was self-deprecating. Ronan studied it.
“No.”
Adam shrugged. It, too, was self-deprecating.
“I think you had a superiority objection. You think you’re too smart for that shit.”
Adam blinked at him. “Do you think I’m wrong?”
Ronan snorted. “Hell no. You can do better than getting blown up in a desert for the United States government.”
The smile, when it came, was small and stunning. “Damned by faint praise again.”
#lmao with this and the country playlists this blog has been on a real raven boys kick the last few days#anyway... enjoy?#i need to make a tag for my writing like... generally but until then#super rich kids#this really isn't about anything and had nothing else attached to it#it was just a random scene that stood alone so like...#probably the best thing for me to start out this 'posting unfinished stuff' project#i feel like gansey does not appear at his best in this fic but that's not a reflection of how much i love him!#he's trying his best to keep this family together! and the other 15 year olds are no help at all!#ronan lynch#adam parrish#the raven cycle#pynch#tw suicide mention
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zionists don't realise it but saying 'this is the most jewish thing ever!' and 'people hate when jews do something clever' and and reporting it as 'innovative methods which carried out a precise military operation' and joking about ongoing attacks using everyday technology to injure thousands of civilians is not. good
#sadly i don't know how to describe the feeling but#the depravity of cheering for 'men losing their testicles' in gaza and lebanon/syria is something i have seen multiple times now#it's recurring#something which has stood out multiple times over the recent months not just with devices blowing up#bottom surgery jokes when people have lost their eyes and fingers and chunks of their stomach#cheering on death as if it means nothing#calling children terrorists who deserved to die#killing civilians and causing mass disabling events in multiple countries does not prove you're winning#that's not a military win in any form#watching anyone celebrate the death of children and regular people regardless of where there from is not normal#that's not normal behaviour#it's not good#how that can be seen as a positive thing for Zionists who are then advertising Zionism as Jewishness i don't know#Palestine#Lebanon#Syria#try to stay offline if in the region#stay safe everyone#fight oppressors where you can#don't praise the 'strategy' of 'precisely' targeting civilians and kids that will all get labeled as evil active fighters#👍#none of it's a surprise considering the history but it still surprises me sometimes the way it doesn't register to them#that maybe associating killing civilians and being gleeful about child murder with Being Jewish is. not good#like that's not a good look for PR you'd think there would at least be some pretense or pretend but no
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wowwwww that was SOOO pretty what a gorgeous showww
#all the spacey (arcane-y?) scenes especiallyyyyy#in the finale with viktors big machine body wowwwwwg#overall I don’t think I liked s2 as much as s1#it was really scattered and not as cohesive#too much to focus on and nothing rly got more than an episode’s focus#so much weaker writing generally… a lot of odd choices!#probably would have been stronger narrowing the scope a lot and taking time with everything#BUT it was very enjoyable to watch!!#had a lot of things I loved!! i just wish there could have been more time spent on everything#I loved the experience of watching it 🤩💕#so so gorgeous#ALSO specifically I really REALLY loved the fx animation!!!#like for fire/magic/liquid/gunfire/etc it looked so cool!!#really stood out to me bc it was more graphic/less painterly than the rest but it worked so well and FELT so good#.doc#hi thanks for joining me everyone ❤️#I kind of want to start over again#arcane
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having a hashtag bad one 👍
#my brother was chasing me with a shoe while i was screaming at him to stop while our mom just fucking stood there while i burst into tears#and then they both just go on their merry ways back to what they were doing acting like im not dry heaving so hard i think im gonna puke#like how can she just stand there and see me so upset and not say a single thing its just so typical he can do anything he wants no matter#how much it upsets me and he just gets away with it and i feel lile a dick bc hes younger and im an adult but this has been happening for#years and shes never done anything im so traumatized by him but i just have to keep acting like nothings wrong#i just wish my feelings could be even acknowledged by our mom like she enables it bc she does fucking nothing#once when i was a teen my therapist reported my brother to cps for hitting me and all my mom has to say was that having that on his record#could hurt him in the future and she was mad at me bc it made her look neglectful like babes its bc you are!!!#i need to get out of this fucking house so bad idk if i can stand another year here#h
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...
#im back from a week with my dad at home and at the lake#it was really nice to b home for a while but now im a mess lol#bc it really makes me wanna move back to Appalachia and not do another semester out here#and also this was our 1st trip to the lake without my mom being there. she loved the lake. she grew up on the water and was named after an#island. she died before she could use our new jetski. which my dad bought for her and she would have loved#and i stood in her sandles bc my dad keeps them out by the fireplace and my toes fit almost exactly into the impressions of her feet#and i came come with another bag full of her clothes. and i feel bad for my dad being all alone in that big house#i mean hes got the dogs but theyre 7 and 8 and theyre big boys so they probably dont have all that long left. itll be so sad when they die.#there was a moment where i was talking to the dogs and he said i sounded exactly like my mom. which was kinda intentional#on my part bc i say a lot of things bc she would say them. stolen phrases and intonations. pieces of things ive taken.#its still weird that she's just gone forever. the time in the hospital feels like it was some horrible nightmare.#and now shes never gonna kno where we end up. she's left rooms full of half tumbled rocks and half sorted photos and half organized#classroom supplies. the outlines of a person that will slowly be stitched out of existance as time moves on until theres nothing left and#the memories are gone. its just sad is all. especially bc she didnt deserve it. no one does but expecally not her.#but unfortunately life isnt about getting what you deserve. its chaos and coincidence all the way down.#unrelated
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the vampire diaries 8.16 // louise gluck, crossroads
“and damon, like the voiceover tell us, he was worried he would never see stefan again. it was just elena assuring him that there would be peace. that we’ve dealt with this other side of darkness for several seasons, but there’s also light out there and there’s peace, and damon will find it. if you search for it, you will find it. and we wanted to get that last moment to see that [...] damon found it too, and it looked just like his brother.” — kevin williamson
#defan#the vampire diaries#web weave#not really satisfied with this one but eh#i don't envy gifmakers who've giffed the tunnel scene btw bc the lighting. my god. a travesty#anyway. beating this dead horse of an ep to death to eke out every last drop of defan it has to offer#the contrast between damon's expression when reuniting with elena vs stefan kills meeeee#he's doing THE most for stefan but for elena... go girl give us nothing dot jpeg fjskfjdj#also in typical spn brainrot fashion while listening to damon's anguished declaration of love toward stefan in the tunnel or whatever#i kept comparing it to dean's 7 minutes of incest ahh speech in the finale and. my god lol#like i'm aware pitting damon i-stole-my-little-brother's-gf-and-let-him-drown-while-locked-in-a-safe-for-three-months salvatore#against dean i-sold-my-soul-for-my-little-brother-and-i-will-do-it-again-without-hesitation winchester#is unfair to damon but damon's speech is SO bland and half-assed in and of itself#and it absolutely PALES in comparison to dean's speech it's actually pathetic lmfao#i couldn't stop thinking abt dean confessing that he stood outside sam's dorm for hours before barging in#bc he was scared sam would tell him to get lost#and it made me think that the writers could've made damon's speech that much more personal and impactful#by maybe throwing in a line like “i didn't come back to mystic falls all those years ago /just/ for katherine”#it would've recontextualized their reunion in the first ep and given the hello brother moment so much more depth#give us something authentic! something the audience isn't privy to!#something only damon would know and keep buried in the deepest darkest corner of his black heart!#like!!! i'm sorry but damon's dying (not really) declaration of love toward stefan reads so generic lol#maybe it's a me problem idk i just think the speech could've been. well. better#(obviously i blame plec she gave kevin a whole lotta nothing to work with)#like once you sit down and start dissecting damon's words they don't feel /that/ weighted. if that makes any sense#ok so maybe i just wanted him to say he didn't come back to mystic falls just for kat ! sue me#ANYWAY. someone please for the love of god write me a post finale canon compliant defan fic#a defan-in-the-afterlife fic if you will#or a damon-being-miserable-after-stefan's-death-and-being-really-shit-at-coping fic. that works too#wowee these tags are a mess
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having mixed feelings about borderlands 4..
#*fizzyspeaks#my all time favorite game franchise#absolutely nothing stood out to me about the trailer#it just looks. boring#which is so sad for me 😭 i love borderlands
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pretty frustrated tho my mom didn’t put the cap on right (again) when she put thunders medicine in a box for me to take, so it leaked all over and now i have to spend another $60 refilling that when I was already super tight on money. And her dogs chewed up his syringes that I use to administer it. So I’m pretty annoyed. And she didn’t offer to pay for it either which is honestly just as frustrating so I had to ask her which is pretty humiliating.
#rumbles#i went to magfest obvs. but i was stressed the whole time about money#i planned to go before i bought my condo#and honestly if i weren’t with tommy i would have just eaten like. a banana every day for uh. everything.#as it was he took me out to eat a couple of times (which was rly rly nice) but i’m not rly used to having ppl do things like that for me#and i feel bad that he’s sinking a lot of money into me when i can’t rly do that much in return#and i ruined a pair of jeans over the weekend#it was humiliating#truly. i stood up in front of all my friends and my bf#and there was a big scarlet red stain on our white sheets i wanted to kill myself#my friend says she caused a distraction and covered it before anyone saw and everyone was drunk so they didn’t notice but i don’t believe he#her. tbh i think she was just being nice and told them all (three men) to say absolutely nothing about it#which im v grateful for. but it was still humiliating#vent post tbh
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On the perimeter of the Int.
so I just watched Interior Chinatown and discovered Archie Kao (and proceeded to start watching his entire filmography as you do) (also i think i really need to read the book Edit: finished the book!! might write a new post)
And I think it is so poignant that he is Uncle Wong
The ABC (American Born Chinese) who has a foot in both worlds (the first to realize the dangers involved and believes it’s his responsibility to protect his people!), who says
"I was born here. In this city. I've been here my whole life."
and yet is so grounded in both cultures
who finds the victims of the systematic violence resulting from the police procedural
is performed by the ABC who was raised on an American farm, who did not know Mandarin when he moved to China a few years back to find his roots and pursued acting there, who is now back in the US (source: his Int. Chinatown interviews), who has always tried to help. to change things (even if small)
In his interviews he talked about how he spent most of his time in Hollywood on procedural dramas
And parallels with Willis Wu who as a "Generic Asian Man" could not be the hero, the lead (on CSI: Enhance! On Chicago PD: Detective but tech guy — so many parallels)
So he, like many Asian Americans, IS Willis Wu (like Uncle Wong was Willis but even more similar)
but more importantly, his path of America -> Asia -> America is the path of so many people who are unsure of “self” and where they stand, thinking about where they come from and what that actually means
What being American Means, What being Asian Means, What being Asian-American Means
so I think it's likely this show represents a culmination of his journey of self discovery
As a Chinese American
And what that means to him.
Not at the intersection of two cultures but Cape Horn -- a confluence
Where oceans crash together and people get submerged
where there is a distinct divide but you can’t see it when you’re in the water
In Chinese there's a saying: "见山是山,见水是水;见山不是山,见水不是水;依然见山还是山,见水还是水", which roughly translates to “Seeing mountains as mountains, seeing water as water; seeing mountains not as mountains, seeing water not as water; still seeing mountains as mountains, water as water"
like you're back where you are before, and it's the same
but it’s different now
Which applies to so many things here.
#who cares about punctuation and grammar at 4 am#ok at this point i have no idea what im saying anymore and its definitely not what i started off typing#i have been staring at this for the past half hour and forgotten what i was thinking about#I was thinking about so much and not all of it written down#interior chinatown#Archie Kao#maybe that’s why ep 6 stood out to me so much#that moment during the interrogation#when he switches from Mandarin to English#I wonder what emotions he is channeling#this show is so meta#uncle wong#ABC#Asian American#Identity#self-discovery#Willis Wu#therein we find connection#thinking about a different title#int. and ext. of the self#but a title is a construct in the same way a border is#Wong says “I’ve kept quiet for so long#but chooses to spill it all in the precinct when he meets Willis#I wonder if that’s how Archie felt seeing the script#like: i am seen. i am not alone. this struggle was not for nothing#and his past roles that are totally a reflection of that journey but that’s another post#This certainly has been fodder for my own self-discovery and I hope its the same for someone out there. And we are not alone.#In some things we dont get a choice like how we are shaped by expectations and experiences.#But that means there are always people who have been shaped the same way#That also means: You never know what you can/might become next or what you have potential for
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#not art#for some reason all my posts aren't showing up on tumblr's search anymore (except literally this one and whatever will come after)#edit: ended up using the mass post editor to add and remove a random tag to all my posts and it seemed to fix it#yeah i drew but nothing stood out and most was just scribbles and not anything fully developed#i don't even think there was a series this year that had a solid grip on my attention#i need to apologize for never drawing tourabs bc i don't/can't play anymore I MISS MY SWORDS#wutherwaves but don't make me draw those outfits... also the husbandos are almost nonexistent#dragon 'sdogma/age... lmao the motivation to finish is simply NOT THERE bc i burned myself out playing nonstop on release#riseoburonin A VERY GOOD GAME with almost no eng audience#yume*kuro (terminated) and burasuta (dropped) i'm tired of gachas boss#kagbachi... idk my favorite characters (it's soya by a lot) will not be making an appearance anytime soon so why bother
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Hearth to hearth, the Flame of War went.
Over snow-blasted mountains and amongst the trees of tangled forests, hiding from the enemies that prowled the skies. Through long, bitterly cold nights where the wind howled as it tried to wipe out any trace of that flame.
But the wind did not succeed, not against the flame of the queen.
So hearth to hearth, it went.
To remote villages where people screamed and scattered as a young-faced woman descended from the skies on a broom, waving her torch high.
Not to signal them, but the few women who did not run. Who walked toward the flame, the rider, as she called out, "Your queen summons you to war. Will you fly?"
Trunks hidden in attics were thrown open. Folded swaths of red cloth pulled from within. Brooms left in closets, beside doorways, tucked under beds, were brought out, bound in gold or silver or twine. And swords-ancient and beautiful—were drawn from beneath floorboards, or hauled down from haylofts, their metal shining as bright and fresh as the day they had been forged in a city now lying in ruin.
Witches, the townsfolk whispered, husbands wide-eyed and disbelieving as the women took to the skies, red cloaks billowing. Witches amongst us all this time.
Village to village, where hearths that had never once gone fully dark blazed in answer.
Always one rider going out, to find the next hearth, the next bastion of their people.
Witches, here amongst us. Witches, now going to war.
A rising tide of witches, who took to the skies in their red cloaks, swords strapped to their backs, brooms shedding years of dust with each mile northward.
Witches who bade their families farewell, offering no explanation before they kissed their sleeping babes and vanished into the starry night.
Mile after mile, across the darkening world, the call went out, ceaseless and unending as the eternal flame that passed from hearth to hearth.
"Fly, fly, fly!" they shouted. "To the queen! To war!"
Far and wide, through snow and storm and peril, the Crochans flew.
#Chapter 65#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Manon Blackbeak#no spoilers please first read along with me#spoilers in post and tags with more notes reactions quotes annotations etc in tags#Dorian had gone to Morath. Had flown from the camp on wings of his own making.#He would have chosen some sort of small ordinary bird Manon knew. Something even the Thirteen would not have noted#Crunching snow told her Asterin approached. He left didn't he. She nodded unable to find words. — she knew. East not North.#She had offered him everything and had thought he'd meant to accept it. Had thought he did accept it#She had offered him everything and had thought he'd meant to accept it. Had thought he did accept it. Yet it had been farewell.#He would not cage her would not accept what she'd given. As if he knew her better than she knew herself. Do we go after him?#Today-today they would decide where to go. Today she'd dare ask the Crochans to follow. — The Last Crochan Queen The Witch-Queen#to head back into hell The sun rose full and golden as if it were the solitary note of a song filling the world. — for him she would#Terrasen calls for aid! A young Crochan's voice rang through the camp. — but for her people — THEY GOT THE CALL — GO NOW#Even if she'd needed it waited for it. The Flame of War. What say you Queen of Witches? A challenge and a dare. Manon lifted her chin to -#-the two paths before her. one to the east to Morath the other NORTHward to Terrasen and to battle. The wind sang and in it she heard the#answer. I shall answer Terrasen's call Manon said. Asterin stepped to her side fearless as she surveyed the assembled camp. As shall I.#And so it went. Until the leaders of all seven of the Great Hearths stood gathered there. — I’m not crying ur crying — fire bringer#Rhiannon Crochan rode at King Brannon's side into battle. So has her likeness been reborn so shall the old alliances be forged anew.#Light the Flame of War Queen of Witches and rally your host. — the eternal flame — darkness will not claim them#Even the wind did not jostle the flame as Manon lifted it a torch in the new day. The Crochan crowd parted revealing a straight path toward#Bronwens Hearth. Each step was a drumbeat of war. An answer to a question posed long ago. Your Queen summons you to war. — Hearth to Heart#Then and only then did the young scout from the final clan take her burning torch grab her broom and leap into the skies.#To find the next clan to tell them the call had gone out. — nothing but a smoldering speck against the sky then nothing at all. — Hope.#Manon offered a silent prayer on the wind that the sacred flame the young scout bore would burn steadfast over the long dangerous miles.#All the way to the killing fields of Terrasen. Hearth to hearth the Flame of War went.#Fly fly fly! they shouted. To the queen! To war! Far and wide through snow and storm and peril the Crochans flew.#Terrasen calls for aid — so they follow. — Hold on LysAedion come on Aelin — I’m not crying I’m just crying — NOW GO QUICK#The true Witch Queen child of peace and war Manon Blackbeak of the Thirteen & Rhiannon The Last Crochan Queen
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standing up for myself feels so fucking good i don't know how my mom lives like this
#1.5 years more and then good fucking riddance#i will cut him out of my life so hard he'll forget he ever had a daughter#yeah keep paying for my education like a fuckin idiot im gonna use it against you and be so happy and free you'll never be able to touch me#again#he was so fucking irritating today#the audacity to scream and shout at me and pretend nothing ever happened and everything is jolly happy is so#like yeah too fucking late asshole maybe try going back like 12 years and act like a sane person and give me back my childhood#he thinks it's fine but i literally stood in the mandir he forced me to go to 'bhog lagane ke liye' and prayed super hard to god that#of you're real#k word him#and that was at like 11 am in the morning lmao#imagine the rest of the day#it's so fucking over man ill pretend to be nice and okay too until i need him to pay for my living#but that's it he's so fuckinh delusional to think that he'll treat me this way and im going to be like#his budhape ka sahara or whatever. die alone in a hospital for all i care see if i give a shit
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One of the last tweets Refaat Alareer wrote was a quote tweet telling Kamala Harris that the president and her “democratic” party are responsible for the ongoing genocide in Palestine, a genocide that he was assassinated in three days later. I cannot and will not cheer for a Harris presidency, she is just as complicit as biden
#she was and still is parroting ‘israel has a right to defend itself’ bullshit#that’s what Refaat called her out on#she has stood by and watched this and other conflicts around the world at the hands of U.S. intervention unfold while laughing to camera#she takes every opportunity to chuckle#she says whatever lies they tell her to#she’s done nothing??? improved nothing?????#all she will do is maintain the status quo which I’m not sure if anyone’s noticed….but it’s shit#if she wins and does something unequivocally good then like dunk me in a vast of honey and push me down a hill#until then I’m just as skeptical and pissed as before#tired posts#kamala harris#us politics#us elections
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I'm gonna be honest I never expected pokemon horizons to be up there as one of my favorite shows currently when I was first intrigued by it last april, but it keeps surpassing my expectations. I'm emotional.
#vi rambling#pokemon#its just. such a joy. i read the interviews with the voice actors last night and it filled me with so many emotions because like...#these voice actors Get their characters. and all the careful details i pick up are very much intentional on the writers and performers part#and its!! SUCH A TREAT!!! to see that the people working on it are just as enthusiastic about it as me.#the mystery being so well set up and the character arcs being so cathartic to watch i feel like im Rewarded for my analysis and noticing#all these details. its just so lovely.#also the fact that this series knows how to prioritize it's cast members so well? our trio is so so great. and i cant believe im saying thi#*this. but there isnt a single character in this series so far that i blatantly dislike. despite the cast being as large as it is.#hell it made me love characters i felt nothing for or straight up disliked in the games. the writing and characterization are that good.#because theyre all quintessential to the main cast's character arcs. idk i just. love this series a lot and im in disbelief it keeps#its level of writing just as high even now. even in this arc that lowered my expectations.#the interviews... bits that stood out to me were definitely ms terasaki noting that amethio looks miserable in the explorers (something tha#is only implied but is conveyed well enough because this series is great at nuanced storytelling)#and ms suzuki saying seeing rika animated made her really excited. me too. i get you. i still freak out whenever shes on screen#and of course their lovely analysis of the characters... mitsuki saiga's portion about liko especially. also anything by yoppi my goat <3#its just so great to see them appreciate everything and put so much thought into it. man im emotional.#and i say this carefully because admittedly im not huge on the dlc characters coming next chapter. but I'll put my trust in them.#dai sato having worked on bebop and samurai champloo definitely reflects in the writing quality.#anipoke
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