#nothing public ever works
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I hate this fucking country so much
#nothing public ever works#public services are only open until noon which is bonkers#how the fuck are people who work suppose to do any paperwork#and they taking fucking ages to answer 1 stupid email#and when they finallyal anwer they respond with something that doesn't even answer your uestion
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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got the posting anxiety bad tonight
#click clack#ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go#ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog#BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me#because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art#like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public#and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot#a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury#the original posts I put here#but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication#my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen#dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself#and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences#maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art#just a slow drip until they are in the forefront#bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º＿º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out#I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad#post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃
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I'm so glad your friends are both okay. That's so horrible.
Thanks, anon. It was about a decade ago (although the incidents happened in different years), so time's marched on. They're both doing well now.
#it was actually at the same festival#i volunteered there for a year and worked there for another two#and the assaults happened in that time#it's actually part of why i left the festival#it was a bunch of artists basically descending on a regional aus town every year to create art and learn and develop#and the nature of it was that the festival wanted diverse artists to attend#particularly lgbtqi+ artists#and then did nothing to protect them once they were there#i had huge issues with it especially as at the time i was working in marketing / publicity#and felt we were marketing to audiences we would be putting in danger#it didn't help that everyone who worked at the festival was extremely young#like god#i was about 21 or 22 i think at the time and i think the festival director was only 25#and i was not very good at advocating for my own opinions although tbh i also don't think i had the vocabulary for it that i do now either#but y'know#it's given me a deeply rooted passion for artist safety#which sounds extremely uncool lol but i've worked in and out of the field ever since#a large part of my current job at the theatre company is in safe and equitable workplaces#actually right now even i'm working on a safety strategy for working with deaf actors and artists#as we're developing a new show which has a lot of them#so i've been doing a lot of training and interviewing deaf people and advocates to develop it#work's even paying for me to learn auslan which has been amazing#and like the fact that my job even exists now i think is a sign of how far we've come over the last decade#but still#probably revealing too much about my real life here right now haha
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A very interesting cloud formation!
#I don't think I had ever really seen clouds like this before? it looks like a cool painting or something :0#Pulling just a few images from my cloud and sky photos folder which has like 650 pictures in it becvause I'm obsessed with the sky lol#I will usually spare everyone the cloudposting but... in some exceptions when it's really cool I must Share#(upcoming covid mention in tags for those avoiding the topic)#I WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE SO SO BAD I am going to start casting evil spells to explode all these 'back to normal' bastards who are out#spreading virus and shit HHHHHH... Covid is NOT over actually contrary to popular beielf especially for people with health conditions#that make them more vulnerable or would have worse consequences if they were to catch it etc. etc. wearing a mask in public is#in MOSt cases not THAt much of a horrific terrible evil inconvenience and it helps keep everyone around you safer including these#vulnerable populations!!!! Even if I didn't have any problems myself I would STILL be masking because it's a small gesture that can make a#big difference in people around me being comfortable. It's not like people with health issues just never have to go out or go to the stor#or whatever. There are still people out there who could be helped by extra precautions that are being overlooked. grrrrr...#Like at this point since I'm vaccinated and everything I would MAYBE consider flying on an airplane IF everyone else around me#was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives#a shit or who gets tested freqeuntly before after and during traveling and wears the proper type of mask well fitting and not half off my f#ce and blah blah blah. And precautions work best when EVEYRONE is participating. There's only so much you can protext yourself if everyone#around you is doing nothing. So.. alas.. I still do not feel safe traveling. And probably won't for years until more progress is made in#terms of like understanding and treating certain long covid issues and etc. Since I think it's inevitable that if I start going out again#I would get covid. Me and my household bubble are some of the only people I know who haven't had it yet (or at least not knowingly so - if#so it was one of the asymptomatic cases etc.). So if I was GOING to get it anyway I'd at least like the assurance that whatever long term#issues I inevtabley suffer because of it will be more easily treatable at that point instead of entirely disabling even further than I'm#already disabled. etc. AAANYWAY!! all that to say. I JSUT REALLY WANT TO be on an airplane!!! I dont even like traveling and going places I#hate vacations and would rather be at home working on my projects I'm fixated on lol HOWEVER I love the view from airplane windows#like the very few times in my life Ive actually been on a plane and the window is so COLD when you lay your forehead on it and sometimes yo#even see little ice crystals and it's like you're just in a landscape of clouds with a sea of clouds above and below and aaaAAAAAA#Literally I want to get on a plane just to go up in the air and then land and fly back. I don't even want to go on a real trip. I just NEED#to see the sky I need to be IN the sky I need to have that VIEW and the cold and everything!!!! gRGGHGgg... And I will do that the entire#time. I think my longest plane ride was 7 hours and I do not watch movies. I dont text or play games. I literally do nothing to entertain#myself except stare straight out the window for 7 hours (with a few eating and bathroom breaks). not even joking lmao. It's like a trance#I LOVE the sky and clouds so much and the view you get from an airplane is like incomparable!! also I love airports with the big windows an#people watching. but mostly I just long for the sky view again. GRRR.. sobbing and yearning >:T
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the billionaires paying off the government to shape it to suit them will not voluntarily give up power, the working class must seize this power. trump does not stand for the average american but rather only serves to further divide the working class, by appealing overwhelmingly to folks that share his views of hatred and feeding them lies to make them believe their neighbor is the enemy instead of elon musk or jeff bezos. this distraction of in-fighting in the working class then diminishes the ability to organize and allows the mega-rich to do whatever they want behind the scenes. folks don't notice that these people are infringing on their rights because they're too concerned with harboring hate towards their immigrant neighbor or their liberal kids, who were never their enemy until trump told them so. it's all part of the plan to increase the divide between rich and poor and increase the power of the rich.
#working class#seize the means of production#eat the rich#america is being fed an illusion of separation to drive us apart until its real#the middle class is being separated and eroded down to widen the power gap between the rich and the poor#kamala wasnt gonna stop any of this either shes as much a part of the machine as trump#but trump cant even be bothered to try to conceal his interests in power above all else and using that power to only help his rich buddies#also the democratic party is crumbling as proven by their increasingly shady tactics every year#dems didnt even get a primary or a chance to pick their candidate...#kamala historically polled low like dems would not have chosen her if they ever even had the chance#no matter who won it was never going to be an actual election its all a farce and an illusion#no people had any real choice in which candidates made it to the election#it was purely here's your two choices#theyre exactly the same (capitalist imperialist etc) but different colors (red or blue)#i hate it here#t#trump is not for the average american#he is lying to you and tricking you to gain power#he wants you to fight with your neighbors and family so you have nothing left but an idol promising youre right and delivering nothing#trumps goal was to be as disagreeable and out there as possible so dems looks frantic and panicked and emotional#its LITERALLY all part of his plan#hes not gonna drain the swamp#hes gonna put rich out of touch people in positions of power and cut all funding to public support systems#if you voted for this i truly believe youve been tricked and youre stupid for letting that happen but also#its easier to trick someone than convince them they've been tricked so its an uphill battle once trump has already deceived the masses#literally fuck this people are so fucking dumb ive been trying to not insult people but this is truly what it comes down to#trumpers who say its all an illusion and we're being tricked but think trump is the solution rather than the puppetmaster himself is nuts#you're being fooled tricked bamboozled hijinksed#like i said i was not for kamala either shes still part of the machine but at least she didnt outwardly promise to dismantle rights...#lowkey wanna tag this trump 2024 just so trumpers actually see it like theyre the ones that need to know lmao
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the horrors persisting
#the horrors aka bone deep insecurity and being so tired of everything ever that it makes me sick#do you ever want to rip your skin off because you hate everything about yourself#the way you speak and look and act in public and talk to people and the way your brain works and your habits and just. everything#i can’t explain it i just hate being me so so so much nothing can ever change it#no matter what people tell me or what i tell myself it will never go away i just want to like#restart#or take my brain out and clean it and put it into a new body and start all over again#and uni just 💔💔💔💔 is so hard and being an adult is so hard and im never gonna get a job i think and the earth is ANGRY!! at us for destroyin#it and people are dying and being murdered and men are STILL awful and only getting worse and#women are supposed to be beautiful but why do i even have to be beautiful in the first place why#can’t i just be a person and nobody wants to make real friends and the sense of community is being lost nearly everywhereeee and groceries#are three thousand dollars and everything just sucks it sucks so so bad#and im sick of pretending im just whatever about it or that im okay or whatever like noooo im not happy im miserable ive been that way for#years im angry and upset 24/7 and im not the best person i could be by a long shot and im just not good#and im sorta tired of ppl acting like i am too like no im really not#im about to log off tumblr for good#maybe i just need to go outside#idk#♡ dear diary…
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Makeup artist:.......... Are you nervous?
Baja: a little bit.... This isn't like in front of a studio audience right
Makeup artist: No sweetie, it's just a one-on-one interview.
Baja: that's good. Who are we interviewing?
Makeup artist: You're going to have to ask the show-runner, Mickey.
Mickey: let's go. Let's go. Let's go what takes so long putting powder on a face. He has perfect skin anyway. We had to get him to the dressing room. We start filming in a couple minutes
Makeup artist: I'm finished. Just need to map down some scales and he's...... All done. You're free to go sweetie
Baja: thank you
Mickey: So you must be then host of the show. Sorry I wasn't able to meet you sooner. I was on vacation. Oshi told me you're a really good candidate for this show. You seem to be competent you know your way around music....*sip* ..... Coffee?
Baja: I don't really drink that much coffee. I like tea though
Mickey: Green tea! *Snap*. .*snap*
Assistant: your green tea
Baja: thank you
Mickey: Well I know one thing for sure. She was right about the pretty face. Now as you get dressed head to the studio so we start filming promotional material Ramon should be there with you. After your interview which will count as the pilot
Tammy: Mickey listen I really think you should reconsider about not casting me for the show
Mickey: No....*sip*
Tammy: but I really think you should I mean I can at least be co-host. I'm great to be around! Tell him, baba
Baja: it's Baja
Mickey: No, we need to bring up the sea slug viewership
Tammy: I can be the second co-host
Mickey:....*sigh*...... Tammy listen to me. You didn't get the job all right. You just don't fit the criteria we need for this show and this channel. But hey you have other opportunities for other networks alright. You're pretty, you're bubbly and you have a nice rack. You can get a job anywhere with those qualities around here.... You're just not going to find it at this station
Tammy: but-
Mickey: goooooood byyyyyyyyyyyyyeeee Tammy!!
Security guard: Right this way ma'am
Tammy: Mickey!!! I'll have your fucking job!!
Mickey: we'll see you next week Tammy we're filming the season finale
Baja: she seemed pretty upset
Mickey: eh she'll get over it ... She's been in a couple of shows here and there on the network. She plays Kate the baby sitter on 'dock and dingy' ......*sip* ..... She'll be fine. Here Is your dressing room your clothes should be folded
Baja: alright... and I just head to set after
Mickey: yep your's and Ramon's chairs will be the brown arm chairs. The musician or celebrity will be sitting on the loveseat and will perform on the stage behind you
Baja: they're going to perform?
Mickey: yeah.. yeah they're starting their Solo career
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Ramon: hey... You look good. They spruced up your wardrobe too
Baja: yeah. I wonder if we're able to take this home with us
Ramon: probably. I think it'd be easier just to keep in our dressing rooms for now. Keep our work clothes separate from our regular clothes. Feels like bad energy to mix them together.
Baja: how so?
Ramon: I mean this nice brand name stuff fancy designs, colors and a hefty price on it. It's nice but it isn't really me. It's what the studio and the producers want me to be and I rather keep that at work when. I go home I wear my regular off-brand jeans, my 8-year-old sweater and a pair of kicks with a hole in it. That's me. That's who I am. A regular person, I'm not above anyone and I don't want to feel like I am. Get what I'm saying
Baja: yeah... I get it. You don't want the job to change you
Ramon: exactly
Mickey: All right! Hitch you got the shot?
Hitch: Yeah I got it. We can use this for commercials
Baja: you were filming?
Mickey: Yeah yeah no worries. We just wanted to film you guys interacting. We didn't tell you cuz we wanted to look natural.
Hitch: we didn't have any mics on so we couldn't hear what you were saying so don't worry about it. I'm the director by the way names Hitch. Nice to meet you..
Baja: hello
Ramon: hey
Mickey: alright so we're going to start filming the show in 30 minutes. Kikura is their dressing room.
Ramon: Kikura from C-side?
Mickey: yeah
Kikura: sorry I'm late.. I tend to procrastinate when I'm getting ready for these types of things...... Not a good excuse but... yeah
Mick: Well that's perfectly fine. We'll be filming in a couple minutes this is Ramon and this is Baja. They're going to be the ones interviewing you
Kikura: hey
Hitch: while we wait for that, let's do some more advertisements
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Assistant: alright..... Advertisement 2 take one...[clap]
Baja: Hi my name is baja and I'm the new host of the inklab's new show 'music at midnight'.... Me and my new co-host Ramon
Ramon: sup
Baja: we're going to be interviewing musicians from all walks of life
Ramon: and different genres.
Baja: We're going to have nice conversations getting to know them, telling us some really cool stories.
Ramon: a show airs Thursdays at 11:30 p.m. can't wait to see you there!
Hitch: CUT!.... Great! We're going to do some more editing and maybe some reshoots on that but here is your intro You're going to do this during every episode you introduce yourself. You tell them what show they're watching and then you tell the current news what's going on in the music world..... You're also going to have to do that when you start writing articles for the blog, but we'll get to that later. ... Here's the monologue script. If you want to go off script feel free... Go over it, memorize We'll film in 15...... Oshi! Good to see you..*mwah mwah* how are you baby
Oshi: Hitch! Hope everything is going well I just wanted to check in on everyone
Hitch: yes... You're going to start filming soon so have a seat....(Pat...Pat)
Oshi: alright..... I'm getting a call.....*ugh*..............[inhale].....[exhale]...... Hi Shimi! How are you doing dear?... Are you having fun on the farm? I saw some pictures warabie posted on squidder. You look cute riding the tracker hehhe....... Well you only have one week left honey..... yes I've enjoyed my break..... The church? If that works for you honey I guess it gives you a purpose.........*sigh*...(Eye roll)....acting is also your purpose I know...how's warabie is he having fun?......well tell him to try to enjoy himself..............yes ...... alright good bye hun.............
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Shimi: hm.....
Merv: Shimi it's your turn to take the manatees out to graze, take your son with you. Noiji start up the tractor I need you to harvest the octoberries, ikkan pack up squidmelons and head into town. Koi would you help me harvest some of the squid lemons
Koi-koi: I'd love to
Merv: Cirrina sweetheart you said you're going into the city for a school project?
Cirrina: Yeah just for 2 hours. When I get back I'll feed the krill and clean out their coop
Merv: All right, be safe
Shimi: warabie help me load up the manatees
Warabie: yeah..... What were you calling Mom about?
Shimi: It's none of your concern she didn't let me talk anyway............
Warabie:... All right, the manatees are in (bump...bump).....
Shimi: alright...................
Warabie:............so what's mom up to at home?
Shimi: she's working on project O.E.T network
Warabie: that's nice she's been working on that for years
Shimi: *humpf*.... We've been working on for years.... Typical of her to go behind my back and do things without my permission or opinion
Warabie:...... Oooookkkaaay...........hm.................hey mahi
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Mahi: hey dude
Warabie: what's going on at home?
Mahi: nothing much. Baja got a new job...... stop!........ Yeah, he's going to be on TV now. That's pretty neat
Warabie: tv?!
Mahi: some talk show.... Midnight music...... Music at midnight something.....neta stop spawn camping!
Neta: I'm not spawn camping
Warabie: he got the job!? How did he get the job?!
Mahi: I don't know, I really haven't had time to talk to him. He's been in and out of the apartment for like days now..... cod damn it!.... Let me leave the base at least...... fuck!
Neta:hehehehehehehe... I'm sorry .hehehe
Mahi: sorry... Neta's being an asshole...uhhhhh...Baja honestly hasn't been here and when he is here he's just there to get dressed and then leave.
Warabie:*sigh*....... good for him... Guess he's going to be the new breadwinner
Mahi: hey so when are you coming home?
Warabie: end of the week I should be home
Mahi: great apartments too quiet and-Neta!
Neta: what?! What am I doing wrong? I'm just playing the game. It's not my fault you always end up in my range of sight. Get good at the game
Mahi:*huff*... Can you come home faster? I miss you
Warabie: aww I miss you too mahi.. I honestly want to go home too. This place sucks ......I'm tired of scooping Manatee shit and hauling crates of squidmatoes
Neta: ask him the question
Mahi: *ugh*........are you able to bring home fresh produce and milk
Warabie: I....... I'm going to have to ask ikkan's dad that
Shimi: we're here unload the manatees
Warabie: I got to go.... text you later..........
Mahi: bye..... I'm not playing with you anymore! I'm done with this game....
Neta: One more round. I want to get a gold badge on this weapon I'm two games away. You can be on my team this time
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Cirrina: .......this must be the address..........(Knock knock)
Bayou: Cirrina! You showed up!
Cirrina: yeah....hehehe sorry if I'm a little early ...
Bayou: no worries. Come in, come in you can use your shoes on the shelf right here. So what do you want to know about krillarney?
Cirrina: I'm just you know the origins and the history of krillarney...... You lived on the surface for most of your life, right? Is that true for most octolings here?
Bayou: yeah... Most of us here spent their whole lives on the surface though there are some who moved here who previously lived underground
Cirrina: Interesting......so... And did your family move here?
Bayou:...... I think you might get more information from my nan.... Nana!!....... You remember my Nana. from church?
Nana: yes!? Bayou? What is it love?.....oh... Dear the little girl from church. Nice to see you again sweetie
Cirrina: hello..
Bayou: Nan do you mind if she asks you a few questions?
Nana: I have no problems sweetie
Cirrina: It's just a couple questions .. . I'm doing a five-page essay on octarian history in other countries
Nana: wasn't that nice? Well what do you want to know dear?
Cirrina: uhhhh .... When did you move here
Nana: oh I have no idea sweetie It's been years...... The war started when I was around......10 of 11 years old. I lived with my two sisters in a small village My mother was a School teacher and my father passed away years ago.
Cirrina: *writing*
Nana at the time my village was not affected by the high tides but it was targeted with conflict over land and resources. Next thing you know, I was being drafted for the war along with my two sisters. They just turned 13. They never held a weapon before. My mother couldn't even imagine them going to war, it was only after the first bomb we decided to leave. We had to leave quickly so we weren't able to bring a lot. All we had to pack was whatever we could fit in our backpacks. I packed two dresses, pair of pants, three shirts and one skirt. I also packed my Adva doll she's the only toy I played with for years.
Cirrina: *writing*
Nana: My mother was good friends with a man who moved to our village before the war happened. He was a nice inkling man Mr. Doal he offered to help us leave. His son got drafted and passed away early in the midst of combat. He told us about a developing sovereign country called krillarney that was currently taking in anyone and everyone across the world who wanted to get away from the war
Cirrina: *write*..... So how did you get to krillarney
Nana: we were informed that there were fairies and ships offering to help people leave. We set our trip in the middle of the night and met up with Mr. Dole and other people who wanted to leave as well. The walk was 3 hours straight. No brakes, no rest until we made it to the coast and we got onto a ship. It was a squid beak ship if I remember, The S. S. Escargot. We sailed for a week to krillarney making several stops picking others in similar situations.
Cirrina: was it just inkfish who were escaping?
Nana: oh no there were so many people from so many walks of life on the ship. Urchins, fish, cephalopods, Crustaceans. So many were affected by this war. I remember seeing some still wearing their military uniforms. It was their only chance to leave and they took it
Cirrina: when you got to krillarney what was it like? Was different from how it is today.
Nana: Well I can tell you one thing we didn't have these malls, outlets or a nice studio apartment like I have now hehehe. .... When I first got here My mother could only afford a nice small house with two bedrooms. Our neighbor was young octoling and his wife was a bass. They were enlisted in the military for years. When the war started they were completely against it. They were planning on having kids at the time they couldn't do that if they were at war. Unfortunately they weren't able to have kids but they watched me and my sister so many times that they kind of saw us as their kids hehehe
Cirrina: *writing*...... Do you ever think about your old village? What happened to it?
Nana:............. Well....um..... Like I said at the time the high tides didn't affect my home but.............. Soon enough it was............. Everything was wiped out and everyone......... From what I know now....... The water levels have subsided and it is inhabitable but............ I just never went back. Everything I know about that place is gone. My home my toys.....some of my old friends
Cirrina:.... I'm sorry.......
Nana: it's alright love
Cirrina: ....... I think I asked enough questions
Nana: are you sure? I could tell you more
Cirrina: oh that's ok really.... I have enough to write my paper. I have to get home to do my chores
Bayou: alright..... Do you want me to walk you to the fairy dock?
Cirrina: (blush).... well........ok...
Bayou: great..... I'll be right back Nana
Nana: Come back safe
Cirrina:..........................
Bayou:...........................
Cirrina:..................
Bayou:..............you know we have tons of historical sites here if you ever want to check them out..... Add some photos for extra credit
Cirrina: that would be nice but I really need to get home
Bayou: we don't have to do it today.
Cirrina: I leave at the end of the week
Bayou: Well you can plan something for this week maybe Tomorrow maybe?....
Cirrina: I can see.... Yeah I think tomorrow would be good yeah..
Bayou: All right so why don't we meet up here again at 2:00 and I can take you to the lighthouse, The bridge of new beginnings and I can even take you to the museum
Cirrina: Great! It's a date! I mean....uh... No! It's not a date..... it's a day out....an outing yeah it's it's it's an outing we're going out......for the day! We're going out for the day
Bayou:..heheheheheh... Here's my number....... I'll text you tomorrow. See ya Cirrina!
Cirrina: bye..hehehehehe........*sigh*..........
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Assistant director: 'music at midnight'.... Introduction take three!.....(CLAP)
Hitch:go!
Baja: welcome, welcome! Welcome my name is Baja! And this is my co-host Ramon
Ramon: hey!
Baja: I'm very excited to say that this is the first episode of our very new show called 'music at midnight'. What is music at midnight? Well as the names in the title says we're going to be talking about music and it's going to be airing during midnight.
Roman: yep so while we sit here and talk and do interviews. You're going to be sitting on your couch or in your bed and your nice warm jammies.....
Baja: I wish we could wear pajamas
Ramon: Right? We should ask the exacts for a pajama day
Baja: hahahaha...(CLAP)..... All right, let's get started.... Today's music news....... But before we do that, who's who's with us today
Ramon: today we have Kikura sitting in our guest seat
Kikura: hey everyone
Baja: so we Kikura here today and there the guitarist for the band c-side and she's a part of another group riot act.....now Kikura is it true that riot act actually came before the band C-side?
Kikura: uh....oh my cod.......uh wow..... Yeah actually that is true. It did come before C-side... Technically yes but at the time it was not called riot act.... It was actually called 'no boys allowed' uhhehe.... We were in high school that was our original band.... We were in an all-girls school. We were just a couple of weird kids just screwing around... We were all in theater together and we used to hang out under the bleachers and I don't remember who mentioned it but one of us said "wouldn't be funny if we started a band and we had no idea how to play the instruments"....and heh That's how it really started
Baja: it started out as a bit?
Kikura: Yeah it started out as a bit. We started to borrow instruments from The music room and we started to play, used to write music together like we had our own group chat and everything ... It started to get serious during second year of school. It started out as a joke and then just kind of started to really get into it and we really just stopped seeing it as a joke and started seeing it as more of a hobby and soon after we started to book gigs, shows and sets in people's basements. It just kind of took off after that.
Ramon: so what made you join C-side?
Kikura: so C-side started after I met Beika it was a small underground club. He recognized me from my band and he was really excited to see me! He told me that he was a bass player and his old roommate was a drummer and they needed a guitar player. He had a couple songs that he's written and he wanted my opinion on it. He wanted to see if I was able to do a demo track for him.
Baja: *nods*
Kikura: a couple weeks of talking I went to the studio and I met Uotora... He's such a sweetheart oh my cod.... We did rewrites and we wrote some more music. We did some test tracks and 5 hours later I was officially a part of the band...
Baja: what was your first concert like.... You played in sesame hall as the opener for wet floor
Kikura: I was surprisingly calm during the whole show. Really thought I was going to panic and freeze up because this is the first actual concert like a concert concert like it wasn't just a group of people hehehe in a backyard. I remember the crowd wasn't that enthusiastic when we came up but after playing 'click bate' people really just started to really get into it and we just formed a fan base after that.
Ramon: are you still a part of that band? After you released your new album with riot act
Kikura: oh yeah definitely. I'm still a part of the band I'm not going anywhere. This ain't that kind of band. Do we treat each other with respect...hehehe...hm... But no this is just a side project. We all just started talking again and it's just a passion project we're just doing really
Baja: and speaking of passion projects, let's get to the news....Nami one of the members of beloved yet controversial bands front roe has enough that branching off and starting a solo career. Today on Inkstagram she announced that she's working on a new album and writing her own songs she even took a selfie of herself in the studio showing in the recording booth.
Ramon: I think nami's very underrated in the band. It's good to see she's getting out there
Kikura: I'm so happy that she is. I only met her two times. It was during the black square music festival and the seashore awards she is so nice, she's so kind and so pretty. We were talking and I brought up keeping my music in a notebook and she did the same thing too. She has several notebooks of music that she really wants to make but it doesn't really fit the sound of 'squid squad'..... Well I guess it's front roe now but she's kept those book for years... I truly hope she's putting those to good use
Baja: You know this actually isn't her first solo work. She worked on a soundtrack for 'high-rise falling 4'. It was a video game for the gamer boy x system.
Kikura: really?
Raman: Yeah I know that she composed background music for the menu and she also made The third boss Battle song. Man If they ever make the movie of high-rise falling
Baja: they are never going to make that movie.... It's always in production hell for years now
Kikura: I've only played the second and third game in that series, but I heard the movie is going to be starting off with The fifth installment and going backwards which doesn't make any sense
Hitch: what is high-rise falling? I don't know what that is. What are they talking about?
Oshi: It's just a game that these kids play. The audience will know what they're talking about
Ramon: they should bring her back for the movie. It would be really cool if she remixed her original tracks. I love that for him. I'm happy that she's making music. I'm really excited..... What else we have for the news
Baja: SashiMori are no longer doing fall tours or winter tours like they used to
Raman: oh?
Baja: So one of the members, Paul. He's no longer able to travel because he has school so they're going to have to do summer tours
Ramon: that makes sense.... I remember their last tour was during fall during spook fest. Everyone dressed up in costumes and during their last set, people were giving out candy.... Folks was handed a bucket before they got into the arena. it was good candy too like people were getting full size candy bars..... What type of candy do you like? I like gum.... You could never go wrong with gum..... Good flavor, good texture... And you can blow bubbles with it. What about you?
Baja: I enjoy chocolate... I love a good piece of chocolate..... Especially if it has a filling in it like marshmallow or something.....Kikura?
Kikura: I would say I'm a hard candy type of person.... I enjoy jawbreakers
Baja: really
Kikura: Yes, it lasts longer than most candies and..... Besides lollipops It is the only candy that is socially acceptable to take out of your mouth
Hitch: do we have any chocolate sponsors?
Oshi: no but I can get with the marketing team and see what we can do
[one hour of banter later]
Baja: Well folks that's our show! Thank you for being here for our first ever episode. The riot act album will be released on the 22 so make sure you check your local stores for it....now enjoy one of their debut songs 'No planned survivors'
[riot act performing in the back ground]
Mickey: what are the viewerships right now?
Assistant: Right now the viewerships are sitting at 89.4 million...and online..... only 20k views... But that number might rise in the next week
Mickey: [inhale].....[exhale]...... What do you estimate the viewership for ink lab plus?
Assistant: Well..... Judging from the viewership on TV and the viewership on the app we might be able to gain..................... 100 million first episode maybe even more...
Executive: I don't understand it! they talked about video games and then candy, went on a tangent about handbags and backpacks. How is this popular?! This is supposed to be about music and celebrities.
Oshi: Kids today aren't really all that interested in celebrities showing off their fancy cars, expensive clothes and lifestyle. They're bored at that and so are the newer artists. They just want to know who they are as a person....if knowing about their favorite candy and opinions on games keeps them engaged and interested in their music and our show I see no problem with it
Mickey: hmmmm.....
Hitch: I think we might need a meeting for this. I have an idea
Oshi: what's the idea
Hitch: we haven't had that much traction on the app for a while. instead of making a recorded video the next time we film we do a live stream and have the audience involved with the conversation
Mickey: I like that. Keeps the audience engaged and keeps the viewerships high. it saves money on editing
Hitch:......... These kids are going to make us a lot of money
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Neta had 12 kills in one match and 6 of them were mahi
lmao fish was fighting for their life @fish-at-fish-fish-resort
#Micky is also a shark#specifically a silky shark#Hitch is a Pickhandle barracuda#most who work in this type business are sharks and other predatory aquatic Life like barracudas piranhas and Bill fish#something something Hollywood something something it being a very cutthroat brutal and also predatory#Neta being an asshole maining a charger refusing to let anyone leave the base#squid break Splatoon ships are just old cargo ships#wow i wrote a lot I honestly should of broke it up into parts but what ever#I'm not shore if any of nana's back story contradicts any of the Canon Splatoon lore i honestly should of checked#i honestly wrote all that because I forgot about Cirrina's actual punishment and she needed to write something to help her grade#so she can go to her concert instead of summer school like she wanted#Cirrina going on her first date. yay! well I'm sorry not date outing it's just an outing not going out! just outing#i like writing realistic dialogue especially mundane conversations Idk if they interview came off as boring or not#i personally enjoy when interviews with celebrities are in a podcast format where they just talk about whatever and nothing really exciting#Baja has a very particular audience#autistics who also have an interest in music people you want to know more about their favorite musician#people who put on the show in the background so they can get their work or chores done#simps#me planting the first seed of a soon to be messy and very public divorce 👏🏾😈#mahi and neta playing Splatoon but it's not like the Splatoon we play its more like over watch or cod idk maybe team fortress 🤷🏾#Kikura is a lesbian and I think they should convince Nami to leave front row and be in riot act#they should also kiss and stuff#I know there's probably a little bit of spelling errors in this#especially in the#but it's 4:30 and this has been in my drafts for a week. I don't know longer than 2 days. I'll fix it later#ok I'm back I did some small edits#neta
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My counsellor ghosted me :/
#I spent 4 hours on public transport to go to our 2nd session just to find out it was cancelled#the receptionist was kinda weird about it too#he was like 'who is your appointment with? oh okay. 3 pm? WAIT!!! they're actually not in today and will reach out later'#which never happened#I'm trying not to jump to conclusions but damn.#I keep trying and trying and trying but nothing ever works
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Just saw a bad opinion on a job. You shouldn't NEED a """"""good"""""" job to fucking SURVIVE!!!!!! I don't care!!!! Any job someone can get, even if you think it's BASIC work that "doesn't deserve high pay" should be able to pay for that person to afford everything they need. Home, groceries, car and or transport, healthcare, insurances, etc. AND still offer a bit of money for fun or otherwise. Of course """"good"""" jobs should pay more, nobody wants to work a degree dependent job and earn $13.00 but the moment you start saying that "well maybe those minimum wage workers should take a look at reality" you're ignoring that SO many of those people CANNOT access higher education TO magically for sure definitely be offered a better job
#this is probably worded so badly idc. dont TELL me about um well uh ummm its minium wage job dont complain. i dont think people should fuc#king be homeless bc they can only work as a bagger. I've never ever thought that and nothing will ever convince me otherwise.#I KNOW multiple people in my life who CANNOT go into higher education bc they couldn't even get to PUBLIC school. And none of them are less#deserving to have their own homes and vacations and to spend money on silly wants instead of struggling everyday!!!!!!!#also. why do you think any one job is inherently better. and why is it only better if it requires a degree. My dad can and has built houses#he doesnt have a degree for this. it was all taught to him by others. He can fix almost anything wrong with our car. But is he stupid becaus#e he isnt Technically a mechanic?#this isnt about anyone here
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Still really upset over 24 hours later so I guess I am going to make some flyers
#look it's possible that i'm upset about some other things too but.#other people fucking with me or my stuff for no other reason than cruelty really sets me off like nothing else#like when i was working in the store and people would get frustrated but it was because they were struggling with a problem that's 1 thing#people who delight in making fun of me or taking my stuff even though it's not very valuable#just drive me up the wall#and it feels like ever since the pandemic that's been the mood#here i am trying to figure out how to treat people as well as i can during my interactions even though i'm misinterpreted on the regular#and none of this comes naturally to me so i have to try really hard to get people to like and cooperate with me#and i still do! but then some of the general public really goes through life not giving a single fuck#if i don't give a fuck about something for a few seconds there are immediate life consequences. if i don't have my guard up 24/7#but then i watch other people walk around completely cold no empathy no regrets and get rewarded for it#just ask me for the $30-50 man. you didn't even have to steal my stuff
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slight rant/vent
Though I'm also posting on twt at @bluravenite in case you want to interact with me outside of hate anons
Yk there's probably hate anons going around all the time but it's been really apparent this past week that some people genuinely don't know to shut the fuck up... I have stopped posting with the same frequency as i was bc i am working on commissions and drawing takes time but i might just keep a more sort of closed parasocial relationship/ treat Tumblr more as a portfolio than as social media if that keeps happening... Sorry that i rant in here a lot but it's genuinely exhausting sometimes when most of your mutuals on this app are getting rude anons...
#it's genuinely worrying bc it really makes you question what kinda people have it against u/ur friends#like why cant you just leave some people alone#and it makes me feel guilty too for wanting to also protect/defend my friends?? you know nothing about these people#but thats never an excuse to be such an asshole to people#once talked with someone who had me blocked here and they told me they didn't remember why but “clearly my values didn't align with theirs”#that still hurts because my values have always been to make this page safe for everyone#posting my silly little doodles and hoping it means something to people#because right now?? THIS is the closest I'll ever get to my dreams#so it really sucks that the closest thing to being a concept artist and freelance illustrator is seeing my friends getting hate for nothing#i might actually close comissions for the public after this... 1 because i need higher prices for my work#and 2 because i am unfortunately scared that im never gonna be good enough#because people who draw cant catch a fucking break sometimes#sorry for the rant again#raven vents
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..
#i will NOT have a panic attack again over how badly they bullied me#the fact that i still have nightmares about how toxic that work environment was and how i would get legit bullied#and how i live in fear that i'll see one of them in public#literally did nothing to deserve any of that. but that one bitch just made up lies about me and twisted it in her favor#so everyone bullied me relentlessly 😍 and passed all of my secrets on to the biggest bully i've ever met
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🐰🧡🐻
#in stark contrast to most of my personal posts this is about me being happy and gay#because i need to just get it out my system bc otherwise i am just going to grab a friend by the shoulders and scream (in joy) in their face#i am dating someone and its really really nice and sweet and cute and like nothing ive ever experienced before#and instead its like every tiny little dream about this kind of thing ive managed to hold onto despite every experience otherwise and ahhhh#the lack of focus on just sex or sex appeal is so nice its like there but as a side thing so its nice and i dont feel like an object#i feel like a human person with thoughts and feelings and interests outside if that and feel safe in that and feel safe that everything wont#just be discarded if i dont want to do that like i feel like boundaries and stuff are an option! without jeopardising everything#and el likes me as much as i like them and wants and sees and communicates that they want something long term and ahhhhhhhh#i just want to cry like holy shit this is everything ive ever wondered about like i have spent so long wondering what this feeling would#actually feel like and its so good and so indescribable and ahhhhhhh#waking up on monday night and seeing them in my bed and cuddling me was just so nice i felt wanted i felt... loved#this all seems so out of left field still i still feel like i just never saw it coming but its so welxome and nice and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#my pessimism is still there but its less loud now its more learning to accept this may not be perfect forever but letting me enjoy the now#crouch speaks#it feels so nice to not be scared and to feel secure and ahhh#also it made me laugh El remembered me hitting on then at the Dgoals release show making them blush lol#i only remember the time i hit on them later at the groles show so its funny i pretty much used the same line twice and it still worked#i cant wait to see them again i cant wait to hold hands in public again i cant wait to be idiots who keep blushing too hard and accidentally#kissing eachother on the nose instead of the mouth because we are stupid and gay and pathetic about it hahaha#just ahhhh i could gush forever how perfect the 2!!! dates weve been on were and the fact they want more and more and ahhhhh#this is so lame i know i just haven't experienced anything remotely like this before and its just... wild#like wow holy shit what on earth i have been so increasingly miserablely depressed and insecure from the shea stuff last year and then this#just absolutely removed all of that i actually feel like a human person again with value
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someone really equated wearing pajamas in public to having no dignity lmfao what
#like ive gone to every single work meeting ive ever had in pajamas#im only gonna be there for an hour anyway and then im going back home to do nothing#why put on jeans for that?#pajamas in public isnt that deep and i think people put too much thought into it#its just clothes
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!
#sometimes i think about how my first ever online community experience was playing online survival/vanilla minecraft#n i think of how happy it made me to be a part of a greater community y'know? nothing huge but#it all felt so big 2 me and i felt so immersed at the time and so sometimes when i get reminded of that time and all the people i met#i crave smth like that again#but everythings different now! with the way servers work. n all the public servers are either dead or have 345987 plugins sdfkjgh#not 2 mention way too big. or they alr have established communities#n like! i dunno it's a struggle bc it's like okay where am i gonna find a server that's like. 18+. queer friendly + devoid of bigots#active. not super huge. and New#bc like 2 me there's no point in joining a server if everythings alr been done y'know#i've had people give me full netherite as soon as i joined and i was like thanks but! now what. KDSFJHDSF#i want 2 go on a journey w other people and do silly things and play pranks on friends and help people w their projects#i want 2 plan big things and explore places and make friends and build a community y'know#people from all over n all at dif points in their lives n all so unique coming together for this one thing#i just dunno where to look anymore#i miss it though#i love this game a lot but the one thing i love the most about it i haven't had in such a long time#sap says#maybe someday
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