#not sure I'll even use all of them
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#I'm sure things will be okay with the babies#I'm sure things will work out#I'm sure everything will be all right#it's just going to take time#I've barely adjusted and I'm a human#my boyfriend is barely adjusted at all and he's a human#fancy has a lot of adjusting to do and she's just a little cat#a little gray cat who lost her very best friend in the world#the house still feels so empty without them because even though the babies are here#the babies are still not in the spaces that the boys used to be in#Raleigh used to sit in my window in the mornings and bring me the sun in his fur#he used to meet us standing on top of the washing machine and ask for hugs#I just miss them#just one and I could bear it#this year's been so cruel and I'm so afraid#but I'll find a way to be all right#I'll find a way to stay safe#somehow#I don't know#we'll find a way
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this you?
#jumin han#jumin#mystic messenger#mysme#**#sure jan#in his defence he is experiencing an emotional breakdown#and admits that he's inexperienced#he says doing things for elizabeth is apparently “not the same” as his dad#but lbr dude's just as outrageously devoted and sappy as him#even when he's mentally stable#with the key difference being that he's a lil more private#and loyal to 2 women#one being an actual woman and the other being a cat#which is very normal#mysme spoilers#long post#he also makes a grand proposal in his GE right after he said he'd talk to us about these things and take things slower lol#his normal ending is better imho#just finished his route... again#i am legit redoing them for content purposes#this post wasn't intended to be part of that but i had to put him (affectionately) on blast#buying all of them except ray and v tho#might liveblog a bit for those since they're still new to me#dw i'll tag them so you can filter spoilers if necessary :~)
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Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.
They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol
It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!
Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
#also fuck anna for thinking shit like this and way worse things alfred did is not as evil and toxic as#as me snapping at her for DEFENDING alfred#wiki: I can excuse stalking harassment cultish shunning bullying fantomette lying slander weaponizing identity but-#-I draw the line at katy getting too emotional when I admit as much uwu#granted she did admit that the reason for this is because alfred didnt concern her personally#she is probably the person I'll forgive last in this situation if ever#as much as I hate alfred they clearly have no empathy and compassion and lie for medical reasons#it isn't my assumptions they often reblogged this shit#I know mental illness is not an excuse for so much harassment for variety of reasons but-#-why would someone want to change if they medically can't feel guilt for their actions?#I feel bad for them and they hopefully will get help#as for Eugene idk... they seem to be a typical brainwashed youth#such people either change with age or get strongly bitten in the ass and get reality check#granted people who still follow her did admit she goes head hunting and then plays victim#as well as they only keep in touch because they worry they'll be dragged down if they are not at her good side#rather than because they like her posts (which are so untrue to BB that she can just make OCs anyways)#choir boy is literally just mindless sheep that didnt even have dignity to make it personal#hence is the name#I am sure he is lovely in his own circle it just doesn't concern me or my friend#but anna?#she knew what she was doing and has no excuse#fandomry rambles#it is also funny how they are four cringe failures and us are four based people#best AND worst groups come in four lol#also I know you all are dying to know how I can still hold grudges year later right?#it is hard to explain#I live normally and recover and not think of it but then scar starts to hurt#like you know how physical scars can react to weather or shit? mental can too
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Gojo Satoru Sketch Attempt #2 09162024
WIP Sketch
#I spent three days trying three different mediums I used to use often to see what muscle memory remains#I'll just keep practicing really but this one is marker and it's still messy but I'll work on it#have to replace the pen to my tablet that is (checks notes) 10 years old at least so I'll give digital a try again later#the mouse method did okay for a bit until I waned to do strands of hair and eyelashes then I just threw my hands up#We're going to pretend the colored pencil method didn't happen. even though that was the best clothing outcome of all of them.#He's fun to draw. More screencap practices will come I'm sure#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#my art
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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I did some Papercraft today 'cuz I saw someone else's Papercraft Miku and Teto and immediately wanted my own Negidrill to have on my desk at all times.
Link for Miku template
Link for Teto template
I didn't know a Neru one existed until AFTER I left the library (printed them out there 'cuz my at-home printer sucks) so I think I'll try to make Neru sometime to complete Triple Baka.
Link for Neru template (and many others)
THIS tutorial was super helpful for making Miku but Teto didn't have one. Therefore I messed up her drills a little at first but I'm just glad that she's complete and not a disaster, hahaha. xD
This is my first time making Papercraft characters and it's fun. Unfortunately Miku and Teto's heads easily fall off so there's no way I can do stop motion animation with them or anything or move them around too much, but I enjoyed this. They're cute. ^^
Their arms being outstretched like that was a total accident and how the paper itself wanted to bend, so I took the opportunity to make them touch hands lmao. They probably can't get any closer than that without dying (their heads falling off) though LOL. Idk what else to pose them doing but they'll definitely chill on my desk full-time I think.
Btw Mesmerizer Papercraft definitely exists and I even saw "Who Knows" Teto, and someone also made SV Teto. So if I'm motivated I might print those out and build them too. ^^ (You should try it. It takes like an hour or more per character and after the first time, it's straightforward to do.)
#papercraft#not tagging as my art since it's different from the usual#hatsune miku#kasane teto#not sure if i should tag as negidrill#i still have ideas to draw for them but i'll draw them later#if my mind lets me#very occupied with rl events and very mad at the us govt rn so#papercraft for now#for those who read all my tags this is lowkey the official 'canon' appearance for my Mikuteto AU charas#chimera Teto and android Miku i mean. they're based on the original canon appearances but#i think i'll take one or two traits that i associate with their later/newer versions#in particular i guess pj sk Miku wears white and I really like that color#(for the purpose of contrasting with Teto's black/dark gray)#also i usually see UTAU Teto as shorter than Miku in my head#but for the purposes of my story Teto might be the taller one#someone drew it that way and i really liked it so i'm 'canonizing' it in my head#if u have no idea what i'm talking abt dw. just my own fantasizing. idk how OFFICIAL official i'll make it like writing it in the story#i just personally think chimera genes might make Teto taller lol#aesthetically i like the image a lot so i might go through with it#anyway it makes me happy to have AU Mktt on my desk even if they're lacking the wings#i love and care them#(intentional grammar error)
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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I watched RoF...now you get to angst and suffer with me...>D
#krillin#android 18#marron#dbz#dbs#seriously tho the moment the earth was blown to smithereens was anguish#and the survivors realising was even worse#especially in the DBS episodes#I think they did it a little better there than the actual movie#there was more emotion#anyway krillin for sure would be so relieved and angsty when seeing his family again#infact he may not let them out of his sight for a while#they all pile into the big bed together that night and sleep closely together#I wrote a TUSOKI chapter on it aswell#but I may rewrite another one we'll see#where I'll use these sketched out scenarios#mine
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wait, why can’t a decent amount of the members in proto-thunderclan not hunt?
A lot of them have serious physical disabilities! It's enough that it poses a logistical problem, which they are committed to overcoming together.
Thunder Storm's three legs makes him slower than his companions. He's ferociously powerful, but like a male lion, he has to rely on his "lionesses" to slow a large animal.
Bright Storm has asthma from her heroics trying to save SkyClan cats from a fire. She's taking that from Gray Wing, who is famously the first major death now. Like her son, she has a difficult time with chasing prey.
Bumble is dyspraxic. She's a terrible hunter and fighter and struggles with self-worth because OTHERS used it to dehumanize her, and continues to, even after an entire society forms out of love of her.
Sunlit Frost has permanent nerve damage in his arm from the fire, and ends up working so hard that it makes his disability worse. A bite on the good paw from Snake becomes infected after he refuses to sit out from digging graves after the First Battle; I am planning a chunky B-plot about Sunlit coming to terms with the fact he has to retire early.
That's FOUR major members of a small group with physical disabilities that make hunting hard or impossible. They have a lot of logistical problems that I will actually be exploring solutions to.
#One of the solutions will probably be a hog hunt which I'm excited for#As there's a bunch of things each person can do to help with that#It's really such a shame that canon is so hyperfixated on disabled cats feeling like they 'need to be useful' in a very well established--#Society where they CAN just be comfortably cared for#It frustrates me that the series keeps portraying that as a Good Thing and not either a tragedy of self-worth OR an exploration of--#SOCIAL ableism.#So for BB!DOTC I'm going to try and take aim at both#Ok then; let's TALK about a small underdog group who needs its members to contribute#And let's talk about how even THIS little group INNATELY values its members. How that is good and natural#And how there's NO excuse for the bigger group to be so cruel. It's not neccesity. It never was. It was spite.#Thunder Storm says 'The point of having a group at all is to care for each other. NOT to have it serve you.'#Man really comes out here like FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY. TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEED#And I am trying to think of how to stress how MUCH food SkyClan has. Like how I'll show that...#I'll definitely need to make sure to set up a lot during the time Thunder Storm is Clear Sky's acolyte.#Btw does that sound like a good word? Trying to figure out what Tribe cats call their apprentices#Because fuuuuck no I'm not calling them To-bes
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#plusle#i think lots of people have a thing against plusle and minun. folks as a general rule just don't seem to like them from my experience#i don't really know why. i got to know plusle from pkmn colosseum and i didn't even know there was a minun#so the first time i ever saw a minun i was like. why is it blue. it's supposed to be red#but then again i also never used that plusle that you get in colosseum because like. sure‚ you get it already purified#but you get it at like level thirteen. when all of the rest of your team is probably around level 30. it's just not really viable#at the point in the game where you get it. it's way too low of a level. unless you wanna spend a thousand years grinding it up which i tried#to do in pyrite but they kept just targeting it and knocking it out so i couldn't get any XP on it. and XP share was either bad or non-#existent at that point i believe so i just kinda left it in the box. i tried to catch every shadow pokémon anyway so y'know#didn't really need it. i also don't remember why they give you a plusle anyway. in the plot. i just remember it being like. a gift pokémon#and it being level 13 which is way too low. so here's plusle i'll have way less to say about minun
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If you tracked my eye activity on that bliss promo pic with the tops it would be something like this
Making a major stop at topper
Before crashing into a ditch (yakuya corner)
#i'm having a moment. the only time i'll ever see these two standing next to each other is in a promotional pic for the sfw game version#FOR SERIOUS i was weirded out by this combination of characters in one pic when i first saw it#i was like oh?? they doing a random assortment now? i mean sure! yeah! i guess! spice it up they look great!!#then someone pointed out that this was Tops Only#then showed me the corresponding picture of Bottoms Only#and i felt my eyebrow raise sharply#OOOH.... i didn't even consider... right.... top bottom segregation#(reality does not occur to me. i see them all through switch-coloured lenses and thus ignore information inconvenient to my preference)#then i started thinking more about the . idea of it. that the tops are in a bar's hidden back room with mafia boss dante#and the bottoms are hanging out in the airy beautiful atrium of pure white snow and lilting piano music#tops are like WELCOME TO THE LIONS DEN and bottoms are like HEY COME INTO THE AVIARY AND SIT WITH US 🥰#i dwelt on the fact that i was weirded out by yakumo in this group#and it made me think about how..... yakumo would be scared of all the other tops#all of them are INTIMIDATION 100 to hiim#so i imagine after you get him to pose for this shot with everyone. and the business is done#yakumo will quickly retreat to the room with the bottoms (where all his friends are)#blade being the adaptable little creature he is will be like OH COOL ARE YOU GOING TO SEE THE OTHERS??#I WANT TO SEE THE OTHERS TOO!! MORE FRIENDS!! LET'S GO TOGETHER n_n *links arms* *DRAGS everyone else out of the room*#imagining yaku being first ushered into this dark room with kuya dante and quincy#and he's just nervously glancing at topper for reassurance that there's no danger#just trembling and thinking about how he wants his emotional support wolf/vice captain/priest/earring twin senpai#no yakumo. i wanted you to mingle. and you shall mingle#wear matching outfits with your fellow Tops and (topp) until you build trust and reduce their Intimidation Factors#nu carnival dante#nu carnival blade#nu carnival quincy#nu carnival kuya#nu carnival yakumo
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#thriller bark#ch462#theres been someone whose been slowly reblogging some of my like. really old posts#and doing some absolutely fantastic character analysis in the tags#but oh my god you're reminding me of the cringe captions i used to leave on every post#i did that FOR LIKE. IM PRETTY SURE OVER A YEAR.#IF IT WASNT SO LONG I'D GO BACK AND EDIT ALL OF THEM BUT EUGH#all but one i think the birthday post was funny okay that one was funny and i had to consolidate so much to get it to post on the right day#god. i cant believe this will probably post after the blog anniversary#4 years of every sanji. how do we feel guys#as of queuing this i have uh. 2302 followers and i'll probably have a few more by the time you actually see this#absolutely insane that people still follow this silly gimmick blog i've been running since i was 19#ik i have said it before but this little project got so big and i dont even particularly care for op anymore#i just keep this blog running for the bit of finding every sanji and watching people be amazed at the really really small ones#that i manage to find in the background. its a special skill you gain by running a blog like this#anyway no more tag rambles i want to try and finish this volume tonight if i can
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I mean this in the ace-est possible way but Dimple-in-Reigen's-body is really hot. sorry.
#'but scribe you don't experience attraction what does this even--'#I Do Not Know.#it's just. it's just the Vibes.#other things with similar Vibes include:#really good topstitching#when art is a specific kind of Very Shaped#extremely sharp knives#(ONLY craft knives tho cooking knives and weapons don't count)#olivier armstrong fullmetalalchemist#um. the concept of herb spirals in permaculture#enjambment#a lot of literary devices actually#anaphora is very sexy#sestinas if they're good#ANYWAY the point is that i went from the sort of ace person who would never in a million years use words like 'hot' or 'sexy'#to the sort of ace person who uses them and the things they describe are sure a Category#but not a category that maps in any way at all onto the commonly accepted actual definitions of the words#and then very occasionally a character will enter The Category#and i'll be like what the fuck i don't feel like that about *people*!?#and then i have to remind myself that it's the same feeling as looking at topstitching#okay that's one point#the other point is still that possessed Reigen is hot#ace stuff#mp100
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I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.
#personal#tumblr stuff#vent post#spam bots#i've been getting like 1000 spam bot followers a day for the last few days and blocking them all is getting--dare i say--TEDIOUS#wake up. block 300 bots. go to work. come home and block 500 more bots. spend evening checking tumblr to block bots. it's becoming a chore#it's starting to feel like I offended the tumblr gods or something. this is ridiculous. but like hell will i let them win#i won't let my follower count be 50% bots. i feel like a deserve a tumblr badge or something for fending off so many bots.#tribble#the trouble with tribbles#a very apt metaphor i think for these bloody spam bots; block one and five more come to take its place#but upside: the spam bots are helping me compile a Rosetta Stone for the word 'Untitled'. woo#also if you just joined tumblr and want to follow me: for the love of god personalise your bloody blog#i don't care if you have a icon or a summary. if your blog and likes are empty i'm blocking you#because i don't trust empty blogs and i really don't have the time to sort out who's real or not right now#(though if the blog's offering free mp3s 'just click the link!' or is advertising US keto gold coast gummies i know for sure it ain't real)#but hey! good news to people who followed me in the last four days who haven't been blocked; you passed the blog captcha test#anyway just had to get this frustration out of my system; gonna go block some more bots now i guess. i'll be very happy when this stops
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