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neuxue · 4 years ago

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Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 9

Mat catches up with an old friend. Or an old not-friend catches up with Mat.

Chapter 9: Blood in the Air

Well it opens with Mat literally screaming bloody murder, so we’re off to a good start.

He threw himself backward to his feet, hauling the ashandarei up, then spun and slashed—not at the form moving through the tent towards him, but at the wall.

I don’t know why this is so amusing to me, but I’m laughing at the ashandarei being used once again in conjunction with a rather unconventional exit, given that it was granted to him in the first place as, I’m fairly sure, part of his request to be out of the land of the Eelfinn. And then going back for it almost stopped him being able to leave Ebou Dar.

Anyway, somehow he then manages to pull the medallion off his neck and tie it to the blade of the ashandarei all before the inhumanly fast gholam can catch up. Sounds fake but okay.

Though apparently it’s still trying to avoid notice, and also is not immune to a little bit of villainous monologuing, so okay I suppose that buys a little bit of time for some speedy knotwork.

“The one who now controls me wants you more than anyone else. I am to ignore all others until I have tasted your blood.”

I mean, I’m not sure if the gholam plays by the same rules as Aes Sedai but there’s definitely some wiggle room in that command. Just have a quick taste and then you two can be friends. Or Mat can keep it as a pet, depending on how we’re defining personhood.

Or sparring partner? Could be useful to have something absurdly fast and virtually invincible to train against.

Mat agrees on the fighting point, at least, and goes for the attack, because I’m sure this will end well.

Really? Of all the people this thing has killed, including some of your friends and members of the Band, Tylin is the one you’re upset about? Sigh. Fine. That’s a dead horse I don’t particularly need to beat any further, I suppose.

“You didn’t want her; you wanted me!”

Well technically Mat didn’t want her either so they have something in common there.

Okay, sorry, couldn’t resist one last dig.

“A bird must fly. A man must breathe. I must kill.”

That’s a mood. Points for self-awareness, I suppose, though in this series that’s a pretty low bar.

How is the gholam controlled, I wonder? I don’t see this happening, but given that it seems to serve a single master rather than the Shadow in general, it would be cool if there were a way to suborn it to Mat’s will instead, and unleash it on the Shadow’s own armies. That would fulfil its need to kill, and it would actually sort of fit with its dark-trickster kind of nature. But I doubt it.

“I’ve been told to kill them all,” the gholam said softly. “To bring you out.”

Someone needs to give this thing a copy of the Evil Overloard List. Though in fairness I suppose this is less ‘revealing its plans via monologue’ and more ‘delivering a rather chilling threat, given that it knows everyone’s identity’.

And also as a distraction because Mat hesitates for just a second on realising that it knows about Tuon, so all in all a pretty effective gambit.

Or it would be, if not for Teslyn, because she’s still surprisingly awesome. Lifting Mat out of the way with Air—because he’s no longer wearing his medallion and the gholam can’t be affected by the One Power—is some pretty damn clever quick thinking.

And then she attacks it with a chair. Iconic. Is that three times now that chairs have been used as improvised weapons in this series? Four? Whatever the number, I sort of love it. Especially because the image is hilarious every single time.

The object—a chair!—crashed into the hillside beside them. The gholam spun as a large bench smashed into it, throwing it backwards.

This invincible creature of Shadow and nightmare, immune to magic and virtually impossible to fight, being hit by flying furniture.

Credit again to Teslyn though, for immediately coming up with pretty much the only way she could possibly help in this fight. Sure, she’s had time to figure out the loopholes with Mat’s medallion so it’s not completely on the fly, but that’s still some impressive adaptability and problem-solving right there.

Seems the gholam is still avoiding attention, though, because it runs off, pausing only to tear out a pair of throats for good measure on the way.

And now Mat remembers the bloody murder in his own tent that started it all, which turns out to be Lopin, and two random NPCs. Aw, poor Lopin, he just wanted to do laundry in peace.

The gholam had proven itself practically unstoppable. Mat had the suspicion that it could cut down the entire Band in getting to him, if it needed to.

This, and honestly this entire scene, seems very deliberately placed to basically remind us that the gholam is still an unsolved problem. A bit of tag-you’re-it (murder tag? That’s a game, right?), popping up to tear some throats and then run off again, because Our Protagonist hasn’t yet worked out an actual solution but clearly now he needs to.

Which of course begs the question: what is the solution here? How do you defeat something faster and stronger than you are, that also happens to be invincible to magic and indestructible but for a single known weakness?

I suppose that single known weakness, then, should be the starting point here. Which—oh. Mat’s in Caemlyn. And he hasn’t been able to get in touch with Elayne yet, but… Elayne is also in Caemlyn. And knows how to replicate and make ter’angreal. Could she possibly make a weaponised version of Mat’s foxhead medallion? One that could kill rather than maim? Or make copies of it?

Except she can’t even channel reliably at the moment, and also I’m not sure how well she’d be able to study a ter’angreal that by its very nature blocks the use of the One Power on it, so that could present something of a challenge. Still, it’s pretty much the only idea I have.

Unless you could trap the gholam somewhere? Lure it through a gateway? Leash it with the medallion like Gollum with the elvish rope and drag it to the Tower of Ghenjei as a gift for the Aelfinn and Eelfinn?

Hey I’m just tossing out ideas here.

Mat’s worried about Olver, but apparently he’s fine; I suppose it was too much to ask that the gholam might have got to him. Okay, okay, fine, sorry, I’m a terrible person etc. I just… really could not give less of a shit about this kid if I tried, but I suppose that’s a me problem.

Seems like the gholam’s diversifying its skillset, getting into the interrogation business as well as the murder and vampirism one. Always good to have a fallback, I suppose, especially in this economy.

“We’re going to hunt it,” Mat said softly, “and we’re going to kill the bloody thing.”

Cool, sounds fun, what’s the plan? Oh! Maybe you could dissolve the medallion and then inject it into someone’s bloodstream and then get the gholam to eat it…

Sorry, I’ll stop.

Well no, I won’t, but.

“Burn me, I still need to talk to Elayne. I want Aludra’s dragons started. I’ll have to write her another letter. Stronger, this time.”

This does feel like a setup for Elayne helping with the gholam problem somehow via her ter’angreal abilities and Mat’s medallion, given the intersection of all these people and places and events.

Also, Elayne does have a history with multiple letters of varying strength, so I am sort of entertained by the notion of her being on the receiving end this time. And if an epistolary version of Elayne and Mat’s weird friendship is all I get, I’ll take it.

Mat’s plan for now involves sleeping in town in a different inn each night, so… you’d better hope the gholam’s orders regarding avoiding notice don’t change, Mat, or you’re going to end up with a hell of a lot of blood tangentially on your hands. I mean, I’m all for it in the name of self-preservation, but Mat’s a better person than I am.

Oh hi Joline. Can’t say it’s good to see you, and you know it’s bad when Mat and I agree on something. Though she’s come to say her goodbyes, so at least I don’t have to put up with a) her and b) Mat in her proximity anymore.

Mat’s last few lines in this chapter feel… a little more like TGS Mat than like the Mat of the rest of the series, but I can forgive that; it’s a pretty small slip and the rest of this chapter and last have, indeed, been better than last book.

Next (ToM ch 10) Previous (ToM ch 8)

#a short chapter?! in MY wheel of time?! it's apparently more likely than you think!#Wheel of Time #neuxue liveblogs WoT #Towers of Midnight #probably could have combined this with last chapter #oh well too late now

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cecevolume · 5 years ago

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Fate - Chapter One

Oofta. I have to say, the first chapter is always the hardest. Prologues are easy; you just set up the story. First chapters of the actual timeline? Ugh.

Little note: When I wrote the original, some characters hadn’t appeared in the show yet. I’m adding them in where I see fit, so Enzo will not be a vampire.

As always, I hope you guys enjoy!

CeceVolume

CHAPTER ONE

“I got friends in low places!” she sang, raising her mug with the rowdy bunch of demons she’d chosen for her drinking partners that night. They all were singing along to the song, spilling potent demon brew all over the floor while the other beings in the place laughed and danced in the chaos.

Yesterday, if someone had told Caroline Forbes that this was how she would be spending her night, she wouldn’t have necessarily been surprised; demons were especially fun to hang with on a night out. But if you said that she was doing it to give herself a cover should her friends decide to seek her out instead of her ignoring them on her phone? That would have been a stretch.

They were her best friends, after all. But just a touch on the annoying side.

“Too bad about your werewolf, gorgeous,” Enzo muttered, throwing his arm around her shoulder. Over the last fifty years, they’d partied a lot; he was one of the few rage demons she could stand to hang with for more than a day. “But that just means you can finally acknowledge your feelings for me,” he added with a smirk and swig of demon brew.

Enzo St. John was a well-known demon around Mystic Falls, one who had no problem bedding any female he turned his attention to. His thick, dark hair always looked like he’d gotten up and run his hand through it, called it good. If you caught those deep brown eyes sparkling at you, it meant one of two things: drop your panties or get the hell outta Dodge. As with most demons, he was lean, compacted muscle, the kind that made him hell in a fight.

And she’d be lying if she said she’d never thought about investigating the rumors of his…endowments.

Alas, she had found Tyler soon after meeting Enzo and he’d been a much safer choice. Now that “her werewolf” was gone, she just wasn’t willing to go through knowing that he would leave her someday, just like Tyler.

Rolling her eyes, she plucked his arm from around her. “You know,” she answered, “that’s never going to happen. I’m not trying to get attempted tonight.” As he opened his mouth to say something sly, she continued, “Or ever.”

Once again, Enzo’s arm found his way around her shoulders, this time putting his mouth to her ear to murmur, “That’s a very long time for an immortal, love, and I’m sure you wouldn’t like to eat your words.”

She stifled a little shiver but couldn’t help giving herself an inward shake. Enzo was a demon looking for his mate, just like Tyler. The accent and his do-what-you-feel attitude were tempting, but what would happen when he left her too? At least with Tyler, she hadn’t had to worry about being cheated on as well as the end that was always looming in the distance.

Giving him a small smile, she said, “How about this? If I don’t find myself a male by the time I’m five-hundred and you don’t find your female by then, we’ll try it out, see where it goes.”

Throwing back his head to laugh with a sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes, he replied, “I’ll write you in, darling.” He turned his attention back to Matt, who stood behind the bar with one eyebrow raised. “Matt, old boy! You’re our witness; Caroline’s mine on her five hundredth birthday! A round for the bar in celebration!”

All the Loreans in the bar shouted in glee, holding up their glasses in toast.

Normally, even a Born vampire wouldn’t be welcomed so whole-heartedly into the bar. Naturally, a creature that drank blood for sustenance was an unwanted patron in any establishment, much less one that actually knew they were bloodsuckers. Just the appearance of one could either clear out a place or turn it into a full-on brawl.

Caroline Forbes was special, though. Not only was Matt one of her best friends and now roommate, she was proud to say she was hard not to like. Even people who didn’t like her could at least acknowledge that she was great to party with. Life of the party, she thought to herself with a smile as she gave her beer another sip.

A chill she was all too familiar with went up her spine, making her eyes narrow as she turned in her seat. It was the sense that someone was…exasperated with her.

Swinging her attention to the door of the bar, she saw exactly who she had expected to see: Bonnie and Elena.

They stood apart from the rest of the crowd, mostly because of their reputations. They could drink and carry on with the rest of Caroline’s rag-tag team of friends, but that didn’t mean they didn’t get a wide berth the rest of the time.

Bonnie was the last Bennett witch, which made her quite possibly the strongest of her kind to ever live; the Bennetts were thought to be the first line of witches to step out of the ether. It didn’t help that the mocha-skinned woman had no problem throwing her weight around, dropping immortals left and right with just a look if they displeased her. Caroline thought it was a little over the top, but might makes right was the Lore’s motto. And this witch might just be the mightiest.

Of course, she could also chug a bottle of tequila and ask for seconds, something she had learned before she’d even met Party Girl Caroline.

While Bonnie took care of everything mystically, Elena was the warrior princess. As a Valkyrie, she had been trained since her birth forty years ago to battle with any weapon, at any time. Being the Doppelganger was just more reason to train her harder. She had no qualms about taking on the big and bad; nine point nine times out of ten, she’d end up winning too.

But she also could flip her long chestnut hair and shake her as like a champ.

Both of them weren’t shallow, one dimensional people. They had depth. Whoops, she thought with a larger gulp of beer. Guess the universe just forgets to shade in some when they spend so much time painting other masterpieces.

Caroline was more a blunt tool, untrained kind of woman. If it could do damage, she would inflict some real hurt with it. Though she’d learned to wield dual blades, she preferred to adapt to a situation; it made people more likely to underestimate her.

Yeah, walking around with a bow and short sword attached to you or magic glowing from your palms was cool, but to knock someone out with a lamppost was much more theatric. Plus it didn’t require as much talent.

Raising her hand in a wave, she called, “You guys come to drink or fight tonight?” She laughed when the whole bar—except the ever-suffering Matt, who merely shook his head with a grin—seemed to suck in a breath, waiting for the answer.

Normally, this would at least get a reaction of some sort out of the pair striding through the parting patrons. A little spark of magic or a twirl of an arrow. Just a little something to remind everyone that they were creatures with which one did not fuck.

Now, though, Caroline could see the purpose in their steps, their eyes. What the hell was going on? “Are you guys okay?” she asked when they finally got to her.

Bonnie gave a quick glance around the bar—glaring at Enzo’s back as he sidled up some nymph—before murmuring, “We have to get out of here, find some place we can talk. There are too many people here that might be listening in.” Her eyes strayed once more, as if she could pick out someone eavesdropping.

With a small snort, Caroline laughed, “Of course they’re listening; everyone here is just as much gossipmongers as a gaggle of old women.” A small mutter rippled through the crowd, making the vampire roll her eyes. “Oh, yeah, because that doesn’t make it seem like any of you were eavesdropping at all!”

Elena snatched her arm, pulling her quickly out of the stool. “Care, I love you, but now isn’t the time. Things are happening and Bonnie and I need you right now.”

Glancing over his shoulder, Enzo chimed in, “Did you read my dream journal? Dear Diary, today I dreamed a lonely witch, Valkyrie, and vampire found comfort in each other’s hot, wet—ah!”

Bonnie clenched her hand as the demon dropped to the ground, clutching his head. “Shut up,” she hissed before turning back to Caroline. “We have issues to talk about and the longer we sit here, the more problems we accumulate—son of a bitch!”

Everyone sensed it a mere moment after the witch. As a group, their attention went straight back to the front door and the two new occupants. If she didn’t see Bonnie building magic in her palms or Elena slowly unsheathing her short sword, Caroline would have laughed at the audacity then joined in the soon-to-be melee.

Two Turned vampires walk into a bar, she thought mockingly as she downed the last of her beer. “Is this one of the problems we’ve ‘accumulated’?” she asked quietly, noting Bonnie’s discreet nod in her direction. “Are we in fight or flight mode tonight?”

Surprisingly, it was Elena who answered, “Flight,” before inching closer to the bar. “Matt,” she muttered, “we could either use a berserker to clear the path or a distraction to get to the back door.”

The young, blonde vampire had never heard of a Valkyrie choosing retreat before the battle even started and had to eye the newcomers. What was so special about them?

Turned humans were notoriously arrogant; the sudden influx of previously unknown strength was like a drug to most. Usually, though, they were put down before they got too old because they were driven mad by the level of emotions and bloodlust. Their new instincts often warred with their delicate mortal minds. And a crazy immortal ended up a dead immortal.

Tilting her head, she regarded them more closely. The pair didn’t show any signs of madness, but definitely some intensity. The taller of the two ran his hand through his tawny hair, his light hazel eyes surveying the gathered group with something akin to pity. He stood just behind the other, his powerful body held tight beneath his brown leather jacket, forest green T, and jeans, as if waiting for the inevitable fight.

So he was the smart one, then. Didn’t hurt matters that he was cute to boot.

The other, though, garnered Caroline’s interest in a different way. There was something about how he held himself—loose but alert—that told her he was used to fighting and winning. Thick black hair fell in a small wave to accentuate the hard lines of his features. A smirk played on his lips as he surveyed the room with his lightning blue gaze, stopping to lock on…Elena.

Because of course it was Elena he was looking for; wasn’t everyone?

“Sorry, folks, we’re just passing through. Seems something of mine has wandered in,” he called to the room, raising his hands as if in surrender. “I don’t want to fight any more than the rest of you.”

Rising shakily from the floor, his rage state beginning to form, Enzo snarled past thick, strong fangs, “Fucking Damon,” before turning to his comrades. “That’s the fuck that stabbed me with a tree limb.”

Growls erupted from the room; demons might fight amongst themselves, but it was more in a sibling rivalry way. They didn’t take kindly to someone else doing it.

It was about to get very messy in the bar.

Glancing over her shoulder, Caroline saw that Matt had similar thoughts. His eyes were already flooding pure black as the specter of the bear inside him shimmered over him like a thin veil, his muscles beginning to grow. As he shattered the mug he’d been holding into tiny shards, he growled, “Go out the back. Only one vampire is allowed in this bar.”

As the trio tensed to jump the bar, the blue eyed Turned finally took his eyes off Elena long enough to say charmingly, “You might not want to push this, fellas; what’s a little stabbing amongst friends?” When that didn’t stop anyone from readying themselves, his smile deepened into something dangerous. Once again, he caught Elena’s eyes and winked.

“What the hell,” Caroline asked as she turned towards her friend, “is that all about?”

With a blush rising in her cheeks—again, what the fuck was going on—Elena muttered, “He thinks I’m his Bride, which means we gotta get out of here.”

Well, desperate times….

Leaning towards Enzo—who just needed the smallest nudge to completely lose control—Caroline whispered, “You’re really going to take that from a Turned? He ran you through!”

Enzo’s battle roar seemed to be all the spark this particular tinder box needed because all around her, chaos broke out. Matt vaulted the counter, his body nearly twice its usual size as Enzo charged the pair. All around other demons followed suit, the nymphs fading into floorboards. In the corner a pair of female werewolves snarled as the change began to take hold, their fangs shooting longer and claws curling into the wood of their table. A group of Sirens started to lose their glamour, transforming quickly into their true monstrous selves.

This was pretty much a done deal.

“Do we still have to run—”

Elena grabbed her arm and began running towards the back even as the Turned bellowed her name from behind them. Stumbling backwards as she tried to right herself, Caroline saw just as Enzo and his crew reached the pair before Bonnie shouted in her ear, “Let’s go; we don’t have time to be caught in a bar brawl!”

Bursting through the door, the Valkyrie finally released her vampiric friend’s limb and said, “Grab your keys! Time to book it to Val Hall!” When Bonnie started to argue, Elena cut her off quickly. “It’s closer and they won’t be able to get past the lightning. Plus, I’m ninety percent sure that they have a witch too.”

“Okay, ladies,” Caroline said as she ran past them, barely a blur, “we have way too much to talk about! Just get in the car!” Beeping the locks, she opened both front and rear passenger doors for the others, watching as Elena nose-dived immediately into the front seat.

Bonnie, however, stood facing the shaking bar, arms spread wide. Flames began to ignite in her hands and Caroline could have groaned. So now the witch wanted to stand her ground? What happened to not having time?!

“It’s time to go!” Caroline said sharply, drawing her friend’s attention. Blazing eyes turned to her. Waving her arms in a this-way motion, the vampire hissed, “We can always come back and whoop ass later, but right now, Elena kinda needs to leave. The last thing we need is some Turned catching her and making her his Bride.” Glancing back at the Doppelganger in her car, she murmured knowingly, “Unless you want the vampire?”

All she got was a glare, so she shrugged with a smile. “I mean, to each their own; just had to check.”

However, neither of the other women seemed to think she was funny even though she was pretty sure she was hilarious. Once again, different strokes for different folks.

“Fine.” Bonnie started back towards the car, looking only a little put out. “But only because this is the least of our worries right now,” she added testily, sliding into the backseat and slamming her door. “We have to talk about the oracle—”

Slam!

All three females’ heads twisted back to the barely surviving door, only to see it on the pavement, the blue-eyed vampire snarling atop it. He was fully vampiric now, his fangs long and lethal as black veins spread down his cheeks. His clothes and skin were splattered with blood, just to top off the whole look. “Don’t even think about it, Elena,” he growled, stalking forward. “If I have to find you—”

Rolling her eyes, Caroline shook her blonde hair. “Okay, I’m done with this melodrama. Maybe you can call her and set up a date? Instead of the whole vampire Tarzan thing? We have stuff to do and you’re really—” she yanked a lamppost out its cement base “—getting in the way of that!” Swinging the post over her shoulder, she shouted, “Batter up!”

In that moment, he charged, moving faster than even she could track. Fuck, she thought, how old is this guy? In the blink of an eye, he would be on her; if she swung, she wouldn’t get a second chance. She had to make sure he couldn’t dodge….

With a sudden hiss of pain, he dropped to his knees mere feet in front of her, fingers digging into his scalp. A look over her shoulder showed Bonnie—from the safety of the car—clenching her hand much as she had with Enzo.

“Bonnie, coming in clutch with an aneurysm!” Dropping the light, Caroline strode to the car. “Thank you. While part of me believed I could do some damage, I didn’t want to take the chance that guy took my head off.” She smiled as she climbed in the driver’s seat, casually adjusting her mirrors. “I mean, he made it out of a bar brawl with a myriad of monsters; I don’t know how much hope I would have.”

“He’s starting to get up!” Elena cried. “Go, go, go!”

Sure enough, despite the fact that Bonnie still had him, the vampire was struggling to rise to his feet, seeming to shake off the pain to focus on the Valkyrie. He lifted his arm, pointing at her shakily. “I’ll find you,” he snarled.

With a small squeak—and that wasn’t even directed at her—Caroline turned back around and put pedal to metal. The tires screeching, she took off without looking back, just letting the car hit its top speed even as it shook. “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck,” she chanted, nearly constantly looking into her rearview. If he could resist Bonnie, what was to stop him from being fast enough to catch up?

Elena was breathing heavily, sinking into her seat in relief. “I just want to get back to Val Hall to hang with my sisters, that’s it. I need a stiff drink and a hot bath.”

Bonnie leaned between the front seats, hands on the back of each. “We have a lot to talk about. That Turned vampire is the least of our worries right now. Caroline,” she turned her full attention to the blonde woman, “the Oracle at the House had a vision today about you. She told us to watch after you, but that’s all she would give us; she says if you can avoid being captured for a week, to come to her and you’ll be ready for what she has to say.”

Caroline had to stop herself from slamming on the breaks at that. “What?!” she demanded. “And you didn’t think something like that was important to tell me immediately?! Who the hell is trying to come after me?!”

She wasn’t the one that immortals chased; there was nothing special about her. She was just a seventy-four year old Born vampire whose parents ditched her the moment she transitioned into a full immortal. Not a Doppelganger, not the most powerful witch in existence, not even a rare breed of monster that was strong enough to lift a semi. There wasn’t a single thing that would make her stand out to anyone for an abduction other than knowing several High Profile beings.

Caroline Forbes was nothing to anybody but a side character in someone else’s story. Wasn’t that exactly what had happened with Tyler? Second best to someone he hasn’t even met yet, she thought as her hands clenched the steering wheel tight enough for it to start to crack.

“I don’t know!” Bonnie said. “That’s why you need to lay low for a week!”

Elena sat up at last with a sigh, pushing her heavy chestnut hair back from her face. “Which brings us to the next problem.” Turning to Caroline, she explained, “There’s been sightings of a couple of Originals all around the county. We don’t know what they’re after but we can guess it has something to do with me or Katherine Pierce, the Queen of Illusions and Persuasion.”

That seemed a touch more important than having to lay low for a week, at least in Caroline’s mind. If someone was looking for her, it was usually to plan a party.

But when they were looking for either of the living Doppelgangers, it usually meant they were trying to do something evil; Doppelganger blood held mystical properties that’s power was through the roof. Essentially, it was the immortal way of going nuclear in a war.

And the Originals—though they normally seemed to keep the murder and mayhem to a minimum—were the Vampire Royal Family. No one was sure how old they were, but they were the strongest vampires in existence and were rumored to have untold power. Though she’d only seen them in Lorean tabloids, like for Finn and Sage’s vow renewal twenty years before, that didn’t detract from the fact that they had strength not just as a collective but separately to do whatever they wanted.

Like most Born vampires, Caroline had grown up hearing stories of them and how, even without magic, they could day-walk, that they were all the strengths and none of the weaknesses. What they wanted, they got, no matter how many innocent people they had to take down in the meantime.

So…. “That seems a little more important than watching my back,” she conceded, glancing in the mirror at Bonnie as she pulled up to Val Hall. “If the Originals are after Elena, she needs more protection than I do.”

As they stepped out of the car, Caroline noted that both Bonnie and Elena looked down at their shoes guiltily. “That’s what we thought, too,” Elena murmured, looking up at Caroline from beneath her lashes.

“Not that you aren’t special enough to get kidnapped,” Bonnie hastily added, walking over to Caroline. “Just…you know, she’s the Doppelganger. But when I talked to the Oracle about it, she said that Elena would be safe until you were able to get the information from the prophesy.”

Making herself smile and jokingly wave her hand, she ignored the insecurity in her stomach; it hurt that nothing made her different from anyone else when two of her best friends were Big Deals. But she was used to it, knew better than to show it to them. “Guys, I’m not upset,” she said quickly. “I don’t want to have a constant target on my back like the two of you; looking over my shoulder would definitely cut into my having fun time.” Linking arms with both of them, she strode towards the porch where two of Elena’s sister Valkyrie sat whittling shives. “I only have to worry for a week; you two have your entire immortal lives. I think I’ll survive.”

Insert Break

The next night, Caroline woke in a bed that wasn’t her own to the sound of Valkyrie battle cries. The sound of them shook the entire house, the lightning outside striking so often it was like there was a spotlight shining through the curtains.

Instantly, the vampire remembered what she’d learned the day before, groaning at what the fighting meant. I guess I should have known that we wouldn’t get a day off, she thought as she snatched up her clothes and matching stiletto blades. Sliding the weapons into the sheaths she’d had sewn into all of her shirts, she started out of her borrowed room and up the stairs at break-neck speed.

Bonnie had gone back to the coven the night before, hoping to get more information on what the Originals were looking for and who was after Caroline, so she probably had no idea there was even an attack yet. Luckily, going after a Valkyrie at Val Hall was one of the worst things you could do, so hopefully they didn’t need her.

Racing into the moonlight, Caroline was surprised to find…no one was there. There was nothing outside except for the constant arcs of lightning and the shrieks coming from deeper in the forest. But why would the Valkyrie lose home advantage, especially at night? There were so many Loreans that lived within those woods, yet they were leaving their house unprotected….

Shaking off doubt, she dashed towards the fight, only then noticing the beginnings of gnawing hunger. This was why she had suggested they go to the house she shared with Matt; there, they had the protection of a mortal living within the home and she had a fridge stocked full of blood bags. Plus, while the other Valkyries put up with her, they weren’t exactly happy to have a vampire in the house, no matter how many times Elena reminded them that Caroline had been raised to never drink straight from the vein.

She slowed as she realized the sounds and flashes were still beyond her, even though she had to have covered the distance already. What the hell? Are they fighting that hard? Her heart caught in her throat; the only beings that might be able to take on a house full of battle-trained Valkyrie were the Originals. And she wouldn’t be surprised if the warrior women led the attackers further away from their goal.

Before she could take off after them again, she heard a throat clear from behind her. Spinning around she saw the blue-eyed vampire from the night before.

“Sorry, Barbie,” the vampire said, arms and ankles crossed as he leaned lazily against the trunk of a tree. “I really didn’t want it to have to come to this, but seeing as my Bride is hiding behind a shield of sisters, I had to figure out a way to lure her out.” Too white teeth shown in the light as he pulled away from the tree.

Taking a step back, Caroline asked slowly, “How did you lead the Valkyrie away?”

He shrugged, following her. “A Mimic owed me a favor; it started shrieking and all the Valkyrie followed. Unfortunately, that worked against me because they brought Elena with them.”

For a moment, she could see a softening in his eyes at the mention of her friend and for that time, she wondered why Elena wouldn’t want to be the Bride of a devoted male. To have someone care about you more than they cared about themselves, to want nothing more than your happiness…so many people searched centuries for that kind of love but not Elena.

Was that why Caroline wasn’t one of the Big Deals? Was the fact that she wanted to love and be loved in return why she would never be High Profile?

Not for the first time, she asked herself if she would always have to be second fiddle to Elena.

Lost in her thoughts, Caroline missed the male moving, was quickly caught by what felt like a shackle around her wrist. She looked up at the vampire, feeling her vampire traits coming to her face. “So, you’re going to ask Elena to come to you in exchange for me? Isn’t that just so typical of immortal men? No wonder she wants nothing to do with you.”

Okay, his vampire face was a bit more daunting than hers. “I’ll do whatever I have to, Blondie, to get my Bride. Do you know how long I’ve been chasing her, what it feels like to have your body totally shut down?” He yanked her closer, baring his fangs right in her face. “I’m Turned; I’m sure you know that. I felt myself die then woke up without my heart beating, without having to breathe. For over a hundred and twenty years, I’ve looked all over for her. I’ve paid my dues and now I get my reward.”

“You do realize I won’t go without a fight, right?” she asked, faking a yawn. “Besides, if anything happens to me, Elena will never accept you.” In a flash, she had one of her blades pressed to his throat even though his grip threatened to crush her other wrist. Don’t get abducted for one week, that was the deal, she berated herself. You had one job and you already screwed it up. “So I think you’re the one with more to lose, don’t you?”

Keeping the blade against his throat meant that when he leaned forward, she had to lean back, giving her unsteady footing. Not exactly advantageous, but nothing she couldn’t handle. She still had Elena to hold over him, of course.

“Then maybe I rip your head off here and leave you for the animals to eat.” His smile turned sinister. “No one will ever know what happened to you.” Without so much as blinking, he ripped the stiletto out of her hand and tossed it away, completely decimating the bones in her wrist. As she cried out in pain and tried to yank herself away, he flipped her to her back on the ground, his hand around her throat. Crouching over her, she saw he wasn’t even the slightest bit breathless. “If you swear to do what I say, though, I don’t have to kill you. But if you don’t…they won’t know what happened to you.”

Blinking back the pain in her arm, she wanting to give some snappy comeback, to put on some bravado. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much experience with anything other than friendly sparring so she…was…terrified.

Tears came to her eyes at being helpless, once again being collateral damage in someone else’s story. “I’ll go with you just please…don’t kill me.”

#klaroline #klaus mikaelson #caroline forbes #a fate you can't escape #rewrite #holy shit this is actually coming along

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megareviews · 6 years ago

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Spring 2019 First Impressions

The Spring list is late as usual (is it usual if it’s only the second instance?), but at least I’m closer to the beginning than last year. I’ve reached 50% completion on the doing this for an entire year consistently, so nice.

Aikatsu Friends!: Kagayaki no Jewel (Aikatsu Friends!: Jewel of Radiance): Aikatsu is relatively low on my priority list of magical girl megaseries.

Bakugan Battle Planet: This show actually premiered last semester, but in English, and this season is when the Japanese dub started. Either way it’s somewhere deep in the Bakugan series, which is based off of what are probably my least played children’s toys.

BAKUMATSU Crisis: Second season of an otome game adaption that looked okay when I started it, but I still haven’t watched past the first episode.

Bokutachi wa Benkyou ga Dekinai (Bokuben / We Never Learn): The main show that I know the source material of, and it is just about meeting my expectations. An average guy who has to study rigorously to maintain his average grades is put in charge of tutoring the two smartest people in his school. This might not make sense until it’s explained that he has to tutor them in their worst subjects, because those subjects are the ones they want to major in for college. It’s a nice theme of working hard for what you enjoy situated in a rom-com with some haremy aspects and an unusually high density of goofy faces, so watch it if you like those aspects.

Bungou Stray Dogs 3: I still need to see what they did with HP Lovecraft in season 2

Carole & Tuesday: What happens when a runaway rich girl and a poor orphan girl meet up on Mars? They form a band of course. A tale of two lonely souls finding each other and become a little less lonely in a big world, making music together. It looks great and it sounds amazing, so this is definitely a priority watch.

Chou Kadou Girl 1/6 (Amazing Stranger): Imagine Buzz Lightyear from the original Toy Story except in a 20 -something guy’s house and then failing the don’t move when humans are around rule almost immediately. That’s what this show is.

Cinderella Girls Gekijou CLIMAX SEASON (Cinderella Girls Theater CLIMAX SEASON): For somebody who doesn’t watch idol shows, the theater shorts are pretty fun, though I’m not nearly caught up in this one to say how this season is going.

Diamond no Ace Act II: Oh boy there’s so much baseball this season and a lot of it is sequels.

Fairy Gone: There’s a lot of things going on in this show but I think I can simplify it to military use of fairies to give soldiers super powers. The protagonist has been taking jobs as a mercenary to find her sister who was split from her after their village was burnt down. Then at an auction that she works as a guard, things start going wrong and the thief who appears is none other than that sister. The first episode ends with the end of a three way fight between security and the girls, so I’m not sure where the show’s going at all. Maybe if the show didn’t flash back to the protagonist’s village burning down three times, there would be a little more time to give direction.

Fruits Basket (2019): I never know how to deal with reboots for shows that I can remember, but haven’t seen the original. I know there’s people who turn into animals and a “do the carpets match the drapes” joke, and that’s about it from the 2001 anime.

Gunjou no Magmel (Magmel of the Blue Sea): After a new continent appears in the world, explorers flock to it, not always as prepared as they should be for venturing into the unknown. The main character works at a company to rescue explorers from mishaps along with a few others. The worldbuilding is interesting and the main character’s black lightning is pretty cool looking, but his attitude and decision making abilities kinda put me off for now. That and the comprehensibility of the subtitles I was watching fell off a cliff halfway through the episode.

Hachigatsu no Cinderella Nine (Cinderella Nine in August): So far it looks like a pretty standard club building show based around women’s baseball. It looks nice and we have 4 club members as of the first episode, so they should make it to at least full team of nine pretty quickly. It looks nice outside of an odd montage near the end of the episode when the club plays a game with some local kids, and the character designs are a bit more memorable than the usual baseball cast. I appreciate the fact that they’re playing hardball, but I’m not the type of person to watch anything sports ever.

Hangyaku-sei Million Arthur 2 (Operation Han-Gyaku-Sei Million Arthur): All I know about this show is that there’s a bunch of characters named Arthur and that it’s a sequel.

Hitoribocchi no Marumaru Seikatsu (Hitori Bocchi's ○○ Lifestyle): When one of the most socially anxious kids in elementary school gets separated by her only friend when they go to different middle schools, her friend gives her a quest: to become friends with everybody in her new class. She’s got a real go-getter attitude, but from feeling physical pain from trying to talk to a stranger to fainting when somebody actually responds to her, she’s got a rough path ahead of her. It’s a really fun show that gets you rooting for the main character in her attempts of communicating with others in a normal manner.

Isekai Quartet: Four of the biggest isekai series in one short mash-up is a recipe for confusion. Especially since they’re all put together in a school setting where no fighting is allowed, even if there are holy gods and undead abominations in the same class. Anything can happen with all these people taken from their original normal lives, tossed into various fantasy worlds, and then slam dunked back into a relatively normal setting.

Jimoto ga Japan (I’m From Japan): I cannot find a trace of the anime anywhere online and I am glad of this having read the manga. It is just a really dumb comedy about Japanese prefectures that I struggled to read a few chapters of before giving up.

Joushikausei: A silent anime, as in there’s no spoken words, about a few high school girls. It’s an interesting concept, but I found it a bit uncomfortable to watch, mostly due to the whimpering and other nonverbal noises the girls were making.

Kedama no Gonjirou (Gonjiro the Yarn Ball): A children’s show that hasn’t been licensed and no group is fansubbing it, how unusual… It actually looks interesting though so I might search for the raws to check it out.

Kenja no Mago (The Magi’s Grandson): A child raised by a powerful wizard in the country reaches an age where he can move out to the city and attend a magical high school. Unfortunately for him, his parental figures only taught him combat and magic, so he doesn’t really know how to sustain himself in the reals world. It is a decent concept but there’s a 50/50 chance of any scene looking nice or looking awful, and the scene transitions all look like they were made in Powerpoint.

Kimetsu no Yaiba (Demon Slaying Blade): A happy family of coal sellers is destroyed in a night when a demon strikes. The eldest son was out due to a combination of work and a blizzard, and when he returns he finds all but one of his family members completely cold and covered in blood. This last member is rushed down the mountainside for medical aid, only to turn into a demon on the way down. A meeting with a demon slayer turns tricky as he tries to protect his demonized sister who’s fighting between killing instincts and her love of her brother. The opening promises some beautiful animations and the overall show isn’t slacking either, so overall it’s a very promising show.

KING OF PRISM -Shiny Seven Stars-: It’s the TV version of a boy band movie tetralogy which is also a sequel I think?

Kiratto Pri☆chan Season 2: A sequel to a idol anime that I reviewed last year. I think this is one of the first times a sequel has shown up that I also reviewed the first season of, though unfortunately it was for a show that I didn’t watch fully.

Kono Oto Tomare! (Stop this Sound!): One more club building show for this season, this one about a Japanese instrument called a koto. After all the upperclassmen of the club graduated in the previous year, only the main character is left in the club, and needs more members before the club gets closed, the usual. The first new member is a seemingly delinquent 1st year who is surprisingly diligent. There wasn’t too much interesting or unique other than the topic of the club, so music fans might find this more watchable than I.

Kono Yo no Hate de Koi wo Utau Shoujo YU-NO (YU-NO: A Girl Who Chants Love at the Bound of this World): The first episode for this kind of front-loaded introducing characters and pulled out its premise of parallel dimensions and a device to navigate them towards the end, which means I’d probably have to watch another episode to figure out how I feel about it. It’s nice to not have a giant exposition dump take up the first episode of a show, especially since it will have two cours to tell a story, but I didn’t feel any particular gravitation towards the characters by this point, so I won’t be prioritizing any follow-up on it.

Mayonaka no Occult Koumuin (Midnight Occult Civil Servants): With a job at a place called the Nocturnal Community Relations Division, the first thought of the type of people dealt with is most likely not going to be fairies. Our main character is taken from a world of the ordinary to being able to see and talk to the supernatural creatures that live locally, called Anothers. His co-workers are equipped with magically enchanted police tape and other trinkets to help solve issues that occasionally arise between Anothers. I like the modern fantasy setting, and the fairly low level fights with the supernatural so far, so there’s promise in where the show goes.

Midara na Ao-chan wa Benkyou ga Dekinai (Ao Can’t Study): While the name Ao is usually blue, or sometimes even moth, in this case, it stands for Adult Only, the 18+ rating in Japan. This is due to her father’s profession, an erotic writer, and surprisingly, the main character hates her father for naming her that and spends her entire life studying to get into a college far enough away from him. This is thwarted by a guy confessing to her and filling her mind with romance and lewder thoughts, with the help of her father. I hate this as a concept and don’t watch this.

Mix: A semi-sequel baseball anime. I say semi, because from what I’ve gathered it is recommended but not necessary to watch the original first.

Nande Koko ni Sensei ga!? (Why is my Teacher Here!?): It’s about a male student and his teacher, ending up in awkward situations together, like being trapped together in a men’s bathroom stall. A show of pure fanservice through and through, so there’s not much else to say.

Namu Amida Butsu!: Rendai Utena: What started out as an action about cleansing impurities from the world gives us a quick bait ‘n switch to a slice of life about gods bumbling about in the human world attempting to be competent humans. I found it irritating to watch, and it was very clearly based off of a gacha game, which do not have a good track record of making good shows.

Nobunaga-sensei no Osanazuma (Nobunaga’s Young Bride): A modern age middle school teacher way down the ancestral tree of Oda Nobunaga meets the bride of the man himself, who traveled to the present from the day of the original Nobunaga’s death. She’s no older than when she left her original time, which leaves her at 14 years old, with no knowledge of modern day Japan so she’s stuck with the main character’s family and decides to be the new Nobunaga’s bride anyways, which… is weird.

One Punch Man 2: A big sequel of the season, and one where people have been waiting with wary anticipation due to the change in animation studio and director. It definitely looks a lot stiffer than the first season, for action and non-fight scenes, but the story is a bit more interesting in my opinion, as the show starts working on fleshing out other heroes and why they fight.

RobiHachi: the first episode of this really is a springboard for setting up what the plot and cast will be, just about starting right at the very end. We’ve got an ultra gullible man in debt, a genius teen with no sense of purpose, a robot rabbit helper, and their spaceship that blares its own theme song when it transforms into a mech. They set off to find a legendary planet that grants happiness after a couple of hijinks on their starting planet. It’s a very busy show, both visually and plot wise, but still an enjoyable experience if you can keep up.

Sarazanmai: 50% connecting with other people through oversharing with them, 50% kappas stealing souls from other people’s butts. It’s hard to describe the show but I’m having a good time, and the art is gorgeous, and special care is taken with little details in the show. I’d say watch the first episode definitely, and then decide whether or not to follow up on the rest of the show.

Senryuu Shoujo (Senryuu Girl): The focus of the show is on the Japanese poetry type of Senryuu, mostly because the main character can only communicate with others through writing these poems. Thankfully, she’s got some good friends and is in her school’s Literature Club, so she has plenty of practice and is around people who appreciate her work.

Sewayaki Kitsune no Senko-san (Meddlesome Fox Senko): The fox gods of the world have a duty to protect humans, and are becoming more proactive in seeking out humans with negative emotions before those emotions go out of control. In comes the male lead of the show, an overworked businessman who has basically just been going through the motions of life by this point. One of the fox gods appears in his house, doing the cooking, cleaning, and other tasks to help relieve the main guy’s stress. It’s comfy and there’s some funny moments, but I feel like the show would be better off as a more episodic show featuring various humans rather than just the one that it looks like the show will focus on. I’m also worried about the romance genre tag that the show has.

Shingeki no Kyojin 3 Part 2 (Attack on Titan 3 Part 2): I’m still on episode 5 of the original series, with no particular motivation to make it any further. More people die in bloody explosions probably.

Shoumetsu Toshi (Lost City): As the title of the show would imply there is a city that has been lost to humanity, as in, it just disappeared one day. The main female character is the only one who survived the city disappearing, and is targeted by a mysterious group due to that, and she tries to return to where the lost city used to be due to a message by her father who went missing with the city. In addition there was a monk with super powers who was standing on a motorcycle’s handlebars facing off against the main girl who could summon her Lost bodyguard with a bunch of guns but that was kinda just thrown in at the end.

Strike Witches 501 Butai Hasshin Shimasu! (Strike Witches 501st Join Fighter Wing Takes Off!): Oh god it’s been so long since I’ve consumed Strike Witches content. This is a slice of life spin off of the original series, so the context is recommended, but not necessary. The animation is also very much on the rough side for a ten minute long short.

Yatogame-chan Kansatsu Nikki (Yatogame’s Observation Diary): After briefly being disappointed in the lack of heavy Nagoya dialects encountered in Nagoya, the main character runs into a classmate who happens to have one. In addition, all of her favorite foods and animals are popular or famous in Nagoya, so he sticks around with her for meeting his ideals of what a Nagoyan should be. They then travel the city as part of the photography club to see all the sights of the city.

Youkai Watch!: Despite what it looks like from the title, this is pretty deep in a line of sequels of Youkai Watch.

#Megareviews #first episodes #anime review #Spring 2019

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therantingsage · 6 years ago

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Breath of Fresh Air Chapter 1: Recuperation

Wolves pov

It was early morning. A faint mist hung in the air, each blade of grass dotted with dew. The shadow of Satori Mountain left the forest cool and shaded. Animals frolicked about, placid and happy. The forests around the mountain had that kind of aura to them; here, there was protection and peace.

Well, everything was peaceful until a pair of unusual wolves entered the peripherals of just about every creature with a sense of smell. After a brief moment of staring, the wildlife collectively bolted, seeking out safer areas devoid of fang-bearing predators.

The wolves barely noticed the fright they caused. They were far too busy catching up.

‘Can I just say again that I have no idea how to walk like this?? How in the Twilight did you managed to adapt so fast?’ Said the taller of the two, who was stumbling a bit on her new paws. She was primarily a deep, dark blue color, though a mane of bright orange tumbled its way down her back; it ended within her tail, which was almost entirely the same orange color. Some sort of plate was stationed on her forehead, with a ruby and strange etchings indented into it. On her legs and stomach, a few runic markings in bright teal were present.

The other wolf, green and brown in color, laughed. ‘It isn’t too hard once you get the hang of it, Midna. Maybe it’s because I was blessed or something. I don’t remember struggling but perhaps that’s just due to living so long already. There’s a lot of random stuff I don’t remember.’ He replied with a wag of his tail.

Midna rolled her eyes at him. ‘Well, I don’t have as many years to sort through, so I guess I’ll have to be your fact-checker.’ She said with a smirk.

Link looked down at the forest floor, quietly smiling to himself. He didn’t reply to her statement outwardly.

The Twili Wolf sighed. ‘So…’

He looked up at her. ‘So…?’

She looked up at the trees, watching the morning light filter down through the canopy. ‘It’s so strange to me, being alive right now. I mean, I died. I actually, literally died. And, now that doesn’t matter? And I’m also a wolf? Wild, right?’

‘Doesn’t matter??’ Link sputtered at her. ‘Do you not realize how many years I had to go without you before my heart could accept that you were dead?’ He frowned.

Midna looked down at him guiltily. ‘That’s, that’s not what I meant, Link! I mean…at least now, I get a second chance…’ She sighed, ‘…to apologize, apologize for what I put you through.’

The green wolf didn’t respond, his ears flat against his head.

‘I know, I know that maybe it’ll be hard to forgive me, for not telling you. But I just couldn’t bear the thought of having that conversation…’ She winced a little at the memory. ‘I hadn’t known you were immortal, I didn’t think you’d have much longer, since I was going to…you know, kick the bucket. I didn’t think…’

Midna looked over at him, sorrow evident in her eyes. ‘I’m so, so sorry, Link. I should’ve told you I was dying. There’s no excuse for keeping it from you. I’m sorry.’

He sighed, looking up at her with acceptance. ‘Honestly, I’m not mad anymore. I was so angry when I found out, but only at myself for being too late. And the dragons, for making me immortal in the first place. Which is something I knew, so it’s kinda my fault too, because I didn’t say anything about that to you, either.’ He sat down and curled his tail around his feet. ‘Midna, we’ve both had a long road to get to this point, and I don’t think either of us have said everything we want to say, so…’ He held out his paw to her. ‘Can you promise me that, from this point, we’ll make a point to be honest with each other? I…you’re very important to me, and I don’t want anything to keep us apart again, not after how much it took to get you back.’

Midna blinked, and then laughed her familiar, high-pitched laugh. It sent a nostalgic chill down Link’s spine. She put her paw on his, and smiled. ‘I can agree to that, Mr. hero. Wouldn’t want to let my old partner go it alone for another hundred years. We all know how bad you are at being alone~’ She snickered playfully.

He huffed, puffing out his cheeks indignantly. ‘Hey, I’m great at being alone!’

‘Oh, I’m sorry, I thought I was talking to the guy that literally had to find himself for company.’

He opened his mouth to refute her, but then just awkwardly closed it again when no rebuttal could be made.

She giggled. ‘What, no sarcastic retort? I thought you were full of divine fire! Or did it all burn out as you were running from me?’

Link cocked his head to the side. ‘What are you talking about? Do you mean all those dreams? Because you were definitely the one fleeing in those.’

Her ears flattened a little. ‘Uh, that’s not how I remember it happening.’

‘Wait, you remember? You mean, that whole time I was dreaming of those lights, it was you the whole time? Not just when the dragons brought you back?’

She nodded. ‘Definitely. It was like…I’d been sleeping since my death, and all of a sudden, I was awake. And you were there. So I chased after you, because you wouldn’t stop running. Only times I could catch up were when you stopped at those weird spring places. Those dragons were the only ones that could stall you for even a little.’

Link looked at her incredulously. ‘I thought they were giving me strength or something, and that’s why you were closer. Are you telling me the only reason we got closer was because I stopped for two seconds?’

Midna smirked. ‘Yeah, pretty much. You were overthinking things a little, Link. But, what else is new?’

He returned her smirk with one of his own. ‘When have I ever done that?’

She put a paw to her chin and gazed down at him mischievously. ‘I don’t know, why don’t you ask all the skulls you moved around pointlessly in Arbiter’s Grounds? Or that fortune teller who ripped you off?’ She replied, absolutely full of snark.

His tail fluffed up defiantly, and a blush spread over his fur. He didn’t seem mad, though. ‘Hey! No fair! I don’t remember any dirt on you! The ribbing needs to be mutual, Midna!’

‘Rrreaaaalllly? I thought you’d have every detail committed to memory, lover boy. Since I’m sooooo important to you~’ She did a pose, albeit an unnatural one. She still wasn’t quite used to her wolf anatomy.

His ears fell a little, and he still looked quite flustered. ‘I-I do, I just don’t remember you doing anything unnecessarily bad. You’re just…a great person…who means a lot to me, and I love you-’ He cut himself off, blushing profusely.

Midna’s heart skipped a beat, and she looked over at him, cheeks puffed out. Her tail wagged involuntarily, but she payed it no mind. She scooted over to him, plopping herself down at his side. She nuzzled the side of his face, blushing a little herself. ‘I missed you, Link. I missed this.’

Link laughed, still blushing but smiling about it now. ‘What do you mean, you’ve been dead!’

‘Well we still spent, like 50 years or so talking but not being able to actually be with each other! I had plenty of time to miss you, you dork!’

Link stood up at that, hopping a distance away and raising his haunches. The pinnacle of playful dog poses. ‘Hey, we’re near one of the kid’s favorite places in Hyrule! I gotta show you, it’s the prettiest lake!’

Midna snorted, getting to her feet. ‘Prettier than the fishing spot with all the cherry blossoms?’

The other wolf paused, not changing his position. ‘…second prettiest lake.’

‘Heheh! Lead the way, fluff-butt.’

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movieexpert1978 · 7 years ago

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Not Like Them

anon: K - Post-apocalyptic wasteland AU

So I did a little switch and I had King be the vampire this time with Elisa being the human. There is gore, blood and angst here.

King Schultz is not my character.

It had been a hundred years since the world ended or rather human civilization ended. Everyone thought that the zombie apocalypse would happen, but they were wrong, it was actually the vampire apocalypse. No one was sure how it happened. Some said the scientists released a virus that mad everyone crazy and drink blood. Others said that vampires were already around, but they found a way to attack in daylight, but it happened and there was nothing people could do to stop it. So the surviving humans adapted and adjusted to fighting vampires for a living. Humans were kept alive as feeders and breeders for more blood. Vampires also made artificial blood which helped the limited supplies as well. Everyone was fighting everyone and so they had been for a hundred years now.

King Schultz had been fighting for nearly all of that time.

He traveled by foot most of the time as he tried for the first few years on horseback. He made it through two horses before he decided to just walk it. He lost plenty of boots that way, but it made it less of a hassle for him to find food and water for the animal. He stared up at the cloudy skies. Vampires did not shoot nuclear missiles everywhere as they had human bodies too and could be injured from radiation. It may take many years longer for them to feel that effect but it could happen and nuclear fallout also damaged the food supply. So the sun shined on despite the cold atmosphere around King. He wondered where ever he felt like it so today he didn’t have a certain direction in mind. His rifle hung by his shoulder as his guns were holstered at his hips like a bounty hunter in the Old West.

“AAHHHHHH!”

King jumped when he heard the scream and started running in that direction. He found a girl struggling with a knife as hungry vampires tried to bite at her. She managed to stab one in the eye and he scrambled away snarling in pain. King pulled out his hunting knife and grabbed the creature slicing it’s throat and two quick stabs to the heart before it fell other. It’s companion hissed at King who waved his bloody knife around in a taunt. It growled and charged at him, so King dropped his knife and snapped it’s neck easily. He didn’t pay too much attention to his surroundings as he kneeled down and sniffed the dead vampire. He pulled out two big bottles and cut a small hole in the neck. He drained the blood into the bottles before he took the bleeding neck into his mouth and sucked for a few minutes.

“You’re one of them.” A small voice called out. King snapped to attention bringing his knife up as he realized he completely forgot about the girl.

“Oh shit.” He sighed bitterly to himself. He tucked the knife away and looked over her. She looked young with her hair tied up and her blue eyes staring at him with curiosity rather than fear. She was clothed appropriately and King noticed a backpack not far away from her. “Yes…I am unfortunately.” King nodded.

“I’m sorry.” She said sympathetically, but he only smirked.

“You need to be careful. There are wild ones all over the place. Don’t you have a gun?”

“No…just blades.” She said as she got up and picked up an axe that he failed to notice. She picked up her backpack and held out her hand. “Thank you so much for your help. I’m Elisa Prime.”

“You’re welcome, King Schultz.” He said shaking it. When he released it he turned and started walking.

“Where are you going?”

“Anywhere?”

“Well wait! Maybe we could work together…two is better than one.” She insisted following after him.

“I don’t think that’s wise you would only slow me down.”

“I can help I promise! I won’t get in the way.”

“Then stay behind me.” He huffed. King kept walking and Elisa followed behind quietly.

“So how old are you?” She started cautiously.

“Over a hundred.”

“So…you were there when it started?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know how it started?”

“Not really, just bits and pieces. I heard they attacked everywhere and anywhere. Nothing could stop them.” He explained.

“Sounds scary.”

“Yes it is.”

“Hey I know you…drink blood and all that, but I have some food in my backpack. Would you like a snack?” She asked happily now hurrying up and standing by his side.

“No thank you.”

“So you just wonder around and hunt them?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

“Look girl. You can’t follow me.” King huffed.

“Why not?”

“Because what I do is dangerous.”

“This whole world is dangerous.” She laughed bitter sweetly.

“You obviously don’t know how to fight very well.”

“Maybe you could teach me?”

“No! I work alone.” He snapped.

“I could be your feeder.” She suggested. She yelped when King grabbed her hair hard.

“Don’t you ever ask me that again! I am not like them.” He snarled. He shoved her to the ground and started walking. Leaving her sniffling and shaking slightly. Her head still stung from King’s tight grip as she slowly got up and followed several feet behind him. He didn’t say a word to her for the rest of the day and even when nightfall hit and he started to set up camp. He looked as she was curled up by a tree.

“I’m sorry I offended you.” She said quietly and slightly teary eyed. He didn’t say anything as he laid down and went to sleep. When he woke up Elisa followed after him still keeping her distance as they walked wherever. They came across an old building and looked around for a bit finding no stray vampires. They found a few supplies and moved on and they trekked a few more miles before stopping for the night.

“You can come closer if you want.” King called out finally. Elisa cautiously inched closer and sat across from him as he started a fire. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He said sincerely.

“It’s ok. I shouldn’t have said that.” She said quickly.

“No, it’s…I know what you meant by it. You wanted to try and help me. I’m sorry I hurt you. Is your head ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine.” She nodded.

“So what’s your story?”

“My family died a few years ago. We got ambush and some were killed, others captured, and some like me escaped. I’ve been on my own ever since.”

“Any siblings?”

“No I’m an only child. You?”

“I had a brother a long time ago. He died before this all happened.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“I say it as more of a sympathy thing. I’m sorry your brother died. I’m sorry you’re upset. I’m sorry this happened to make you upset. I even say sorry for saying sorry.”

“Oh dear.”

“Where are you from?”

“Austria.”

“What are you doing in the states?”

“My brother moved here and I ended up staying after his death.”

She only nodded and after a brief silence King rolled over and went to sleep.

Xxxxxxxx

King and Elisa traveled peacefully for the next few days. They made some small talk but nothing much because Elisa was still nervous around him. She wasn’t afraid of his vampire side, but rather his human side because he wasn’t exactly warming up to her. So she kept quiet to keep the peace. They ran into a small neighborhood that was completely abandoned. The houses were crumbling and there were no supplies for them, but the sun was setting so they found a decent house and crashed for the night. They didn’t stay long as King heard intruders coming.

“Get down. They’re coming.” He hissed. She hid behind the couch as the door burst open to reveal a pack of snarling vampires. King pulled out his gun and started firing head shot after headshot making some back away. Elisa shouted and emerged from her hiding spot and swung away hitting vampires in head. The fight was over quickly as the pack was small, but King checked them over and hissed in disgust.

“What?”

“They’re rotten.”

“What does that mean?”

“I can’t drink their blood. When vampires get like this it means they’re starving.” He stated. He walked out of the house and she followed after him. He followed the vampire tracks down to a underground bunker. King grumbled as he found no blood, but he figured their supply must have been depleted for weeks now at the very least. They did find canned goods untouched and not expired over a hundred years ago. Elisa happily went at it and King took some for later. The stayed the night in the town before they hurried onward.

Xxxxxxx

She could tell King was getting aggravated about something. He was constantly snapping and growling at her, but she continued to follow his lead.

“King?”

“What?” He snapped glaring at her.

“I know why you’re upset.”

“You don’t know anything.” He growled before he continued walking.

“King, it’s ok. You can…”

“Can what!?” He snarled getting right up at her again. This time she didn’t back away and looked right into his eyes to stand her ground.

“You can drink my blood.” She said calmly.

“I told you I’m not like them.”

“I know you’re not. You saved my life. I already knew that.” She insisted.

“My answer is no.” He finished and started walking. They stayed silent and after it was dark Elisa grabbed his rifle and hurried off into the woods. Since he was weaker he was sleeping more soundly as his body was trying to preserve energy. He woke with a shout when he heard a gunshot. “Elisa!” He shouted getting up. He knew something was wrong as his rifle was gone. “Elisa!” He shouted again and still no answer. “Elisa!” He screamed frantically as he started running.

“King!” She finally called out. He ran in that direction and nearly ran into her.

“What were you doing?”

“I was hunting.” She said kneeling down. He looked to see that she had killed a buck.

“Are you crazy? You could have given away our position! I thought I told you to never go out alone after dark!” He insisted.

“I know, but I told you I want to help you. Since you won’t drink my blood maybe you can drink deer blood.” She explained. He blinked in surprise as he looked at her. She smiled lightly as she offered him the rifle back.

“No, go back to camp.”

She nodded as she walked away and when she was gone King bit right into the deer’s neck. Despite the big animal it just wasn’t enough as he only felt temporarily satisfied when he had drained the deer dry. He knew what he needed, but he didn’t want to hurt her. He bowed his head in shame because he knew Elisa was right. He knew they were heading towards a city so if he could wait it out until then maybe he could find some reserves. He cut up a few pieces of meat to save for Elisa and he went back to their camp. He cooked the meat and put it away and managed to get a little bit more sleep before they got up in the morning and started walking.

“Any better?”

“A little.”

“Ok.”

They kept walking for a bit when King realized that she was behind him.

“You know you don’t have to walk behind me.” He said gently.

“I didn’t want to aggravate you.”

“It’s not you. Come on.” He said waving her in. She smiled at him as they kept going. He needed a trim for his hair and beard. It was getting a bit ragged. The sun was bothering his eyes so he put on some sunglasses, but he still felt that dull burn. He knew he was in trouble now, but he did his best not to show it. “Why don’t I teach you some German?” He suggested.

“Oh I would love that!” She said excitedly. The next two days were more bearable as King taught her his native language. He found it cute and humorous how she stumbled along with pronouncing the words. When they got into the city his anxiousness returned and the silence made her heartbeat that much louder in her ears. They kept close to the buildings so they wouldn’t be a big target on the open street. They wondered around for a bit until they felt a small hotel that had running water. The bedrooms even looked decent. “How come this place looks like it was just abandoned?”

“The takeover was a hundred years ago, but there’s been a power struggle for a long time now obviously. It’s been back and forth between humans winning and rebuilding to the vampires attacking again. I’m guess this is one of those places that got rebuilt and then lost.” King explained. She checked the shower and squealed in delight when the water got warm.

“I’m taking a shower!” She announced as she closed the door. King was grateful for the distraction as he filled up a sink in the other bathroom and cleaned himself up somewhat. His senses were on high alert, but right now he didn’t hear any vampires. He sighed when he trimmed his beard and cut his hair. He looked very refreshed, but didn’t feel it. He looked in the mirror and his skin was healing slowly from the sunburn. He was looking a bit skinny with a few outlines of his ribcage showing. He growled in aggravation as he put his shirt on. He heard Elisa shuffling around in the other bedroom. It wasn’t long before she came out to greet him and her hair was still wet. “King you ok?” She called out cautiously entering the room.

“Fine.” He nodded as he looked over his things.

“You look good.” She grinned with a thumbs up. “Hey…did you burn yourself?” She asked concerned. She touched his cheek and he just reacted. She yelped as he slammed her into the wall with his hands around her throat. Her eyes were wide as his eyes were an unnatural light blue and he was growling with his fangs bared. “King…” She whimpered out. His grip immediately loosened and he pulled her into his arms kissing her now sore neck.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.” He whispered over and over again.

“King it’s ok.” She insisted gently. “Come on, talk to me please.” She pleaded. They sat down on the bed as King’s eyes returned to their normal shade of hazel.

“I was feeder myself for a few years.” He admitted. “It was horrible yet wonderful at the same time. I was put in luxury because that’s what they did with feeders. They treated them nice to make up for the pain of taking their blood. After a while the spell broke for me and I realized this was hell. I told them I would rather die than give them my blood again and at first I thought they were going to but…they knew they could do something far worse.”

“They turned you.”

“Yes and it was awful for a long time. They starved me to the point where when they shoved a human into my cell I would rip their throat out just to get to the blood. I learned to control it and I finally managed to escape. I’ve been hunting them ever since. I don’t want to hurt you Elisa.” He pleaded.

“I know you won’t hurt me King. You would have done it by now if you wanted to. I know that. I’ve seen strong vampires at play.” She spoke gently. She caressed his face as he looked at her nervously. “I want to help you King. Please…just take it.” She said lifting her head up. She waited for a few moments and finally King snarled as he bit hard at her neck. Elisa screamed in pain and clung to King as he drank from her neck. She whimpered as she felt her body getting weaker and weaker, but she didn’t fight back. She was willing to accept whatever fate King gave her. She let out a grunt of pain when King released her neck. She vaguely felt his tongue lick up a few drops of blood before she felt pressure on her wound. King lifted her up and placed her in bed, covering her up as he made sure to check her neck.

“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Xxxxxxxxxx

She woke up with a moan of pain as she tried to sit up.

“Easy…easy.” King said as he helped her sit up.

“King.” She called out weakly.

“It’s ok Elisa. I’m here.” King answered. She looked and saw that the color had returned to his face and he looked so much healthier now.

“You look so handsome.” She smiled.

“Thank you.”

“I know you don’t like the idea of it, but I can be your feeder. I know you’re not like them.” She insisted. He nodded as he leaned in and kissed her forehead. She reached up and pulled his face down to hers and she kissed him. King returned the kiss as tenderly as he could. When they parted she looked like she was going to fall asleep again.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“I know you just want a chance. Well you have it with me King. I trust you.”

“I know and I trust you.” She stared at him as her eyes started drooping. “Go back to sleep.” He whispered laying her back down.

“King…”

“It’s ok Elisa. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#christoph waltz #king schultz #fanfiction #prompt #vampire apocalypse #vampires #blood #biting #angst #survival

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deltaengineering · 7 years ago

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summer anime 2017 part 1: we can rebuild it

This season isn’t very hot so far, but since I have a bunch of stuff carrying over, I’m not exactly complaining. Let’s go. We have three shows that share a curious theme, two that curiously do not, and one that’s actually good. Somehow that adds up to ten.

See also:

• part 2: bunch of fools

Battle Girl High School

We start the season with the possibly blandest title for an anime in quite a while. And the show itself easily manages to match the expectations the title raises: It's a high school with a bunch of girls that do battle. And by "a bunch" I mean more than I can offhandedly recall; the spiritual predecessor to this all-you-can-eat buffet of archetypes is clearly Girl Friend Beta (and it's also based on some waifu-collectathon mobile game) - only now with more magical girl henshins and hitting things with stupidly elaborate sticks. Oh and some of them are idols, because of course they are. Honestly there's nothing too objectionable in here, but it's just still an anonymous 24 minutes of mass manufactured anime-shaped packing peanuts.

Enmusubi no Youko-chan

...or "Fox Spirit Matchmaker". I've heard some positive rumblings about the quality of the source material in the run-up to this season, but that just goes to show that you can't trust people who read Chinese webcomics. Fox Spirit Matchmaker is a "romantic action comedy" (i.e., idiotic glutton/lecher guy and naive foxblob get matchmade by happenstance, hilarity and wuxia skirmishes ensue) of the kind that Japan thankfully got tired of a decade ago. The jokes are bad, the execution is so clumsy that they wouldn't land even if they were, and the action is pretty laughable too. There’s a whole bizarre universe that nobody could possibly give a fuck about around it as well, and boy does it want to tell you about it. If that sounds familiar: Why yes, Haoliners is indeed at it again and this is by no means their finest hour either.

Fate/Apocrypha

With the massive amounts of Fate spinoffs around, it can be quite hard to keep track. Apocrypha is an "alternative retelling" of a grail war in a world where Fate/Zero and subsequently Fate/stay night did not happen and everyone decides to have a team deathmatch in Romania instead. Among TRUE FATE MURDERHEADS Apocrypha is mostly known as "the really stupid one", or, if that is ambiguous (which it may well be, given that the competition includes gems such as “Fate, but on the moon”), "the one where one of the Casters is Shakespeare". It's Fate adapted to the sensibilities of a mid-2010 light novel, and while this gives it a certain... exuberance, I don't know if I really care for more slightly different Fate with no less than two Saberclones. The first episode certainly does not help because it spends half the time explaining what a grail war is (and everyone who knows Fate has heard that a hundred times), and the other half on how it's different from the main canon (and everyone who doesn't know Fate would not care about that in the slightest). I still feel tempted to find out how truly dumb this can get, but realistically it would have to be much, much better than it is for me to get over my severe Fate burnout.

Hina Logi - From Luck & Logic

Speaking of established (well, kinda) things getting retooled to other tastes, remember Luck & Logic? It was a pretty pedestrian battle harem that I only remember because it was made by Doga Kobo and looked pretty distinctly cool as a result. Well, now it has a sequel, even though you couldn't tell. Hina Logi goes out of its way to be as different as possible from L&L, and just to start with it's no longer a battle harem, but a Kirara imitator. Of course, the concept of superpowers injected into a cute girls doing fuck all anime would turn out to be mahou shoujo-ish, and the writing even points out how much an universe can change in just a few years - I see what you did there. Doga Kobo excels at exactly this type of show, so this just aligns the franchise more to their strengths, but even in this aspect there's a twist: it looks entirely different, more or less like the sort of glossy but unmemorable show JC Staff would churn out. In any case, I'm talking so much about this franchise mutation because it's really the only interesting thing about it; it's a basic Kiraralike, and you've seen these before. If you watched Hinako Note last season, you might also like Hina Logi. It has fights now.

Isekai Shokudou

The term "isekai" has turned into a very dirty word in the last few years. But one should not forget that it's still a perfectly normal word, and doesn't necessarily refer to the light novel subgenre that has grown around it like a tumor. Just because it's in the title, that doesn't mean Isekai Shokudou is also a light no- Well, okay, it is one. But! It's not in fact about an otaku shitter that gets hit by a car and is reborn in a world where nerds stuff the jocks into lockers with the power of nerd knowledge. Instead it's about a magic restaurant that sometimes connects to a fantasy world, and then the cook serves the fantasy creatures delicious Terran meals. He picks up a demon girl that has fallen on hard times as a waitress. By the way, said cook is voiced by Junichi Suwabe, and Suwabe + cute girl is a classic winning combination that almost managed to save Demi-chan on its own. So Isekai Shokudou is pretty damn cute, and it has a leisurely pace that makes it quite relaxing too. On top of that, it's also funny just because of the absurdity of its concept, without this being played for ha-ha comedy. You can still tell that there's a light novel underneath it by the characteristic over-reliance on flat exposition, but based on episode 1 alone, it's a charming little show and my first real pick of the season.

Kakegurui

Hey guys, do you like Kaiji? Do you like Prison School? Do you like crazy faces? Oh boy have I got the show for you. Kakegurui is about a high school where the entire student body is way into high-stakes gambling, and when the money runs out, there's always femdom to be had instead. Kakegurui is unabashedly sleazy and extremely over the top, and MAPPA bring a lot of skill in direction, animation, editing, music, etc. to the table as well. The thing is just... as ostentatious everything about it is, the core of the show isn't very convincing on a writing level. The gambling mindgames are actually far less complicated than the show would lead you to believe, and the characters are not very profound either when they're just tripping balls and going 150% crazy all the time. The show would need at least one of these to hold up in the long run, and it's not out of the question that it might acquire it; As it is, it's a cool wacky short movie but I have my doubts whether this can carry a whole TV show. But the production values are good enough to give it at least a chance.

Katsugeki/Touken Ranbu

And here we have the third radical reinterpretation of a source material: Touken Ranbu, the sword boyfriend simulator, already had an adaptation by Doga Kobo - and of course that was just Cute Swords Doing Cute Things. Now ufotable is doing their take on it, so it's, believe it or not, a lot like Fate UBW all of a sudden, character design, heavyhanded color correction, 3D CG effects and all - It's a real anime now, with things like plot and characters, and very competently made action show at that, and for some that may be enough. But not only that, it also has the tone and word vomit writing of Fate now, and that's where it gets sketchier. Without affinity for the source material, I find it hard to care about the exploits of big sword man and his small swordsexual life partner, and I care even less about their convoluted, nonsensical time travel scheme that gets explained way past the breaking point. And the action being great doesn't really matter if all they do is effortlessly style all over mass produced smoke monsters with a blade sticking out of them. I also can't shake the feeling that Doga Kobo's version was just a bit closer to the true fujo meaning of Touken Ranbu, if you know what I mean. K/tr seems watchable, but behind the premium production there just doesn't seem to be anything interesting.

Keppeki Danshi! Aoyama-kun

"Keppeki" means "neat freak", and congratulations, you have discovered The Joke. What if a neurotic germophobe was also an extremely talented soccer player? So many opportunities to make the same joke over and over again! It's really quite a shame that this one is so one-note, because the sports show holding it together is actually one of the better soccer anime I've seen - it has good direction and a good pace once the game is on. I also like that the character design looks a lot like ACCA’s. But overall there's not much of that and a lot of The Joke, and even the better bits (like the character design) are marred by egregious overuse of SD comedy that doesn't fit stylistically at all. If I wanted this kind of comedy, I'd rather watch Sakamoto desu ga, and not a less stylish Sakamoto desu ga with frustrating glimpses of a good soccer anime in between.

Knight's & Magic

So, about that isekai. What if I told you that Knight's (the apostrophe is important) & Magic is in fact about an otaku shitter that gets hit by a car and is reborn in a world where nerds stuff the jocks into lockers with the power of nerd knowledge? It's true! Knight's & Magic is probably not the worst of this ilk I've seen, but that's a largely academic distinction. In fact it's quite bizarre that it even is an isekai story; Yeah, a gunpla nerd gets reborn into a world where mechas are real (and it's a fantasy world, which doesn't really make much sense but hey, robots), but there's really no reason he couldn't have come from this world in the first place, especially since he literally gets reborn and we have to watch a boring series of timeskips throughout his whole childhood anyway. Maybe him being a programmer with pop culture hobbies just like you and me will become relevant eventually, but I really don't care to find out.

Youkai Apartment no Yuuga na Nichijou

And finally, here's a show that reminds us that Haoliners are not the only ones that can create an uncanny valley of competence that is eerily similar to "real" anime but not quite there. And this is a special case - usually this sort of production is attached to very bad ideas, but there's really nothing wrong with the story of a guy who moves into a house that turns out to be co-inhabited by ghosts and other assorted spiritual critters. Nothing, apart from everything: The directing is sluggish, the animation is conspicuously cheap, the writing takes forever just to get to the point that there's g-g-g-ghosts, and the characters are devoid of any personality apart from being scared/not being scared of the youkai menagerie. Do yourself a favor and watch Spirited Away again instead, because this bargain basement TV version with a high school loser up front has nothing to add and a lot to subtract.

#anime #impressions #winter2017 #Battle Girl High School #Enmusubi no Youko-chan #fox spirit matchmaker #Fate/Apocrypha #Hina Logi #Isekai Shokudou #Kakegurui #Katsugeki Touken Ranbu #Keppeki Danshi #Knight's & Magic #Youkai Apartment no Yuuga na Nichijou

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snarktheater · 8 years ago

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Shadowhunters S2 — Episode 1

It's long overdue. And yeah, I know I teased that I might do something special with this, but…it's just not working out and I'm kind of tired of waiting on this show until the stars align. So we're just back to regular episode snarks. Oh well. I'm still happy about this.

The episode starts right where we left off (or…pretty close to it, anyway). Jace is on Valentine's ship, with a bunch of people passed out from drinking from the Mortal Cup that he recently acquired. Pretty simple stuff.

Except…the ship is now docked, and Clary shows up. How did she know to come here?

"I portaled in."

That's…not an explanation, Clary.

Jace refuses to leave with her, but before he can explain and/or they can argue, they get spotted. Jace downs one…guard? Random follower of Valentine who just happened to be there? Whatever, he gets knocked out, but Valentine himself arrives, by the power of dramatic timing. He and Jace fight, which gives them a chance to show off a new visual effect for the seraph blades. Which I'm not very fond of.

It just looks…less epic than the full-on glow to me. But I guess it's a matter of taste.

Note that Clary and Valentine's followers just stand back and do nothing. Because…why would they do something, right?

Anyway, Jace stabs Valentine, which is basically the point you realize this is probably a dream sequence, but it keeps going anyway…? And Clary and Jace escape into the ship instead of leaving it? And then Valentine shows up again to get killed by Jace?

Well, this time, they actually stick around long enough to see that the body turns into…some other random dude, so maybe it's not a dream after all. Also, they're now somewhere deep inside the ship, with a bunch of Valentine's experiments (remember those?) in cages. It all looks very cliché, in a way that I can't quite define, but this assembly of former human creatures snarling at the protagonist feels familiar.

Oh, also, it wasn't Clary, but Valentine the whole time.

"Your skills may be unparalleled, but your loyalty is sorely lacking."

Well gee, it's almost like you took him under duress or something. That was just dumb, Valentine.

He orders his minions to "string Jace up" after injecting him with something, and…cue credits. Which are actually kind of cool, although I do have to question the inclusion of Luke and Raphael in them. Like…since when are they on equal footing with the main six?

I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear we then jump to the Institute. If anything, I'm more pissed that we didn't open with Clary, who is, you know, the main protagonist of the show. But there is a possibility that the show will just follow the book's steps and shove Herondales to the forefront no matter what. And it doesn't look like I'm gonna be less angry about this, because we open with the Lightwoods, Magnus and Lydia, with Clary being nowhere in sight.

Lydia's been trying and failing to contact the Clave for four hours.

"The Clave being unhelpful? Who's shocked?"

Me. I'm shocked, because none of the fans seem to mind the fact that this world is built around the concept that the command of the people who fight for the defense of the Earth alternate between incompetent or actively working against their own goals.

Alec also can't sense Jace through their bond either, but…wasn't it a plot point last season that their bond was weakened? I admittedly should have at least re-read my own recaps before I started this season, but I distinctly remember pointing out that that scene was kind of…pornographic.

On the cooler side of things, Lydia and Isabelle. That is all.

I mean, they also do cool things, but I just wanted to restate my love for these two. What they do is pull up the waterways around New York, while Alec sets up monitoring of the Hudson and East River. Which…actual detective work instead of just going "oh no, Magnus's magic doesn't work on water, guess we're stuck"!

Unfortunately, this devolves into Alec being a douche to Lydia.

"Don't forget who you're talking to, I'm still the head of this Institute!"

On the plus side, Lydia and Isabelle both tell him to calm the fuck down and Lydia even dismisses him. Which means there is now a timer on "how long until Alec goes rogue", but hey, at least she didn't take his shit.

I feel like you're getting some of Jace's angst through your bond, Alec.

And now we get to Clary as she…has another reunion with Jocelyn, complete with "I never thought I'd see you again". Which…do you mean besides that time you saw her again at the end of the last season? Clary does call Jocelyn out on hiding her life to her, Jocelyn apologizes and promises not to lie anymore, and it's actually pretty sweet. Until Clary gives her the box of Jonathan's stuff, that is.

"His name is Jace. He's alive." "That's impossible."

I want to hope that they don't drag out the fakecest for too long, but…I'm not feeling very confident about it. Although I do know that Sebastian/Jonathan/whatever has been cast for the second half of the season, so who knows?

And that's apparently enough of our protagonist. We're back to Alec angsting, although he does apologize to Magnus for lashing out in the previous scene. I guess the girls don't deserve an apology or something. Alec also infodumps again about what the parabatai bond means, and asks Magnus's help to track Jace again like they did…in that episode I just mentioned that weakened the bond in the first place. So they did remember that, they just decide not to care about the consequences beyond "ooh but you almost died the first time".

"Why can't you just do this one thing? After everything I've done for you?"

What…did you do for Magnus, exactly? Coming out? Is that a favor you did for him? Because I can't really think of anything else right now.

Back to Clary…sort of. Luke joined her and Jocelyn, still in denial about Jonathan since she "saw them burn". Luke insists that it's the truth, but…frankly, they have no proof of that beyond what Valentine says. And since we all know it's not true…eh. I understand that it's an adaptation and you have to stick to these plots at least on some level, but it was pretty obviously a lie in the books too, which is a little bit more of an issue.

Simon shows up too, which makes me wonder where they are exactly that Downworlders can just waltz in with no problem. They catch her up on what happened to Simon by way of Simon's fangs show up on their own, but before they can do anything else, they're called away. You'd think it's something important, but no, it's just Maryse making a speech about how they're at war.

"Looks like the queen's taken back her kingdom."

For some reason, Isabelle says this, which makes it sound like she's unhappy that her mom's back in charge. But frankly, I'm too busy wondering why Maryse is suddenly back in charge in the first place.

"[The Clave's] first priority is to replace the current leadership who they have deemed…wholly ineffectual."

And they replace Lydia with…the woman she was sent to replace for being bad at her job herself? Well, not quite, there's a new Clave representative taking over the Institute: Victor Aldertree. I'm pretty sure this is a new character for the show, and he sounds surprisingly reasonable, even saying they need to find Jace because they don't leave one of their own behind. Although he does also put the Institute on lockdown, which is…less reasonable, I guess. But at least he doesn't project an air of complete incompetence that emissaries of the Clave have had in the books. I guess Lydia wasn't a lucky hit; the show really is trying their best…some of the time.

Clary's upset because this means no one is "out there" looking for Jace, and…yeah, I guess that's valid. Does this mean Aldertree canceled the orders Alec gave earlier, though? Because that sounds like a bad idea.

Speaking of Jace, he's busy getting punched repeatedly. I can't pretend I don't feel a slight hint of satisfaction over. And I don't really have much to add there; we just see him getting punched, and then Valentine says cliché banter about him being a fighter. Well, he does also put a rune on Jace, but I'm not entirely sure what it is, so I guess we'll just find out later, won't we?

Back to Clary, who's been called by Aldertree to interrogate her about the last time she saw Jace. Clary is…surprisingly honest, even telling Aldertree that Jace knew Valentine was coming, even though she doesn't know how he knew and probably realizes that it sounds incriminating.

"We have to find him." "That's exactly what I'm gonna do."

That sounds…vaguely ominous, even if Aldertree puts in that line every possible ounce of laid-back-ness he can muster.

Back to Jace, and…God, I just realized why I used to handle each plot line individually in these episode snarks, this is obnoxious and it doesn't look like the show's given up on the fast switching PoVs. He's been brought to Valentine, who's busy cooking. And…I guess he's not afraid of Jace trying to kill him, even though Jace is unrestrained and has clearly shown he was willing to try again?

"You really think I wanna have a meal with you?"

You tried, Jace.

Anyway. Valentine claims he faked his identity to "keep him safe", Jace calls him out and says the Lightwoods are more his parents than Valentine is.

"I sent you a place where I knew you would be cared for." "Father of the year."

Oh, and Valentine also brings out the big "reveal" about how Jocelyn supposedly left him to die because he's special. And by "special" he means the whole demon blood experiment thing, which Valentine shows Jace by sharing his own memory. Watching Valentine inject stuff in his pregnant wife is every bit as creepy as it sounds, by the way, and to be glad, I'm happy we're not using Ithuriel as a plot device, so I'm not complaining. Plus, this is a better moment to introduce this plot point than randomly in the middle of a book like City of Glass did. Of course, it also means we get to suffer Jace's angst for the equivalent of (I assume) two books' worth of plot instead of half a book, and that's a little less welcome. You win some, you lose some.

Back at the Institute, Magnus is on his way out, which upsets Alec.

"You really don't get it, do you? You didn't risk anything for me, you did it for you."

Alec is as shocked as I am enraged. I mean, one, Alec clearly just stated moments ago that no, he definitely came out for Magnus's sake in his own mind (and I assume this is what they're talking about here). Which would be bad enough on its own, but I'll also remind you that Magnus basically pressured him and manipulated him into it for a good half of the previous season. So now, to have him call Alec out for not coming out for the right reasons? Damn, that's cold. If the showrunners had realized their mistakes, this is the worst possible way to go about correcting it.

But no, Magnus leaves after acting all high and mighty, and Alec can't follow because the Institute is suddenly on high alert, and Jace is now wanted dead or alive. So much for Aldertree being a more reasonable guy than his book counterparts. Oh, he also forces Downworlders out of the Institute, which…I'm pretty sure they shouldn't even have been allowed inside in the first place, but okay. This does pose a problem for Simon, since it's almost dawn.

"You're a smart guy. I'm sure you'll figure something out."

I take every nice thing I said about you back, Victor.

He also prohibits Jace's friends from getting involved in the manhunt, which…okay, that is pretty logical. Jocelyn is surprisingly okay about the whole thing. By which I mean we're supposed to act surprised, but since we already know she tried to kill Jonathan as a child and thinks that Jocelyn is Jonathan…do the math.

And because this episode wasn't yet suffering from subplot overdose, we follow Luke as he takes Simon with him back to the Chinese restaurant the werewolf pack lives in. Luke states once again that he is a hardcore Climon shipper by telling him to "be bold" about telling Clary how he feels. And we go from this brief moment of comic relief to…the wolf pack turning on Simon before Luke has even fully walked out of the room. Which leads to more comic relief as Simon tries to use the encanto and fails, because…being in possibly lethal danger is hilarious! So they lock him up in a shipping container. Should I care? Apparently, since we stick around while Simon tests the limits of his vampire abilities.

Back on Valentine's ship, I guess Jace is now on board (pun fully intended) with Valentine, or at least decided not to kill him directly. He's still pretty pissed about the whole being experimented on thing, which isn't helped by Valentine's discourse.

"Even a single drop of demon blood running in your veins makes you a threat to humanity."

He says so in relationship to Downworlders, but…what about Jace? Also, what exactly is the "demonic nature" that warlocks are supposed to fall victim to? Because I can sort of understand werewolves and vampires…you know, eat people, but warlocks? Don't really seem to have any inclination of any kind towards evil.

Jace considers jumping off the ship, Valentine dissuades him by picking a random warlock prisoner who just happened to be lying around and throwing him at the barrier surrounding the ship, showing Jace that unless he likes his face being burnt off, he probably doesn't want to leave that way.

At the Institute, Isabelle decides to train Clary some more. Clary isn't too happy about it, but…well, at least Isabelle is being practical about it. Plus, that way she puts on a show about how much she's not looking for Jace, which she subtly tells Clary while they spar.

On the other hand, Alec sneaks out of the Institute, intent on going to Magnus to keep looking for Jace. Maryse catches him before he leaves, trying to convince Alec to just give up on Jace altogether, parabatai bond be damned.

When you have a cancer, you cut it out before it destroys you."

That's harsh. Why are you so intent on sucking Maryse dry of every drop of likability she had in the books?

Well, Alec just ignores her and goes on his merry way. But who cares about following one plot thread, let's go check on Luke, who gets a visit from Clary (first glamoured as Aldertree). Luke agrees to use his connection to the police to find Jace (which…he'd already offered to do anyway?), and he points Clary to the container Simon's locked up in. So…I guess Luke knew about it and let his pack be threatening towards Simon because it's more fun this way? Well, who cares, because Simon doesn't seem mad about it, and this scene doesn't go anywhere because Luke immediately calls Jocelyn, who shows up to bring Clary back. Or…at least, that's how she got the permission to leave from Aldertree. She says she wants to help.

"Here are some basics of Shadowhunting."

And she immediately tricks Clary into giving her her phone and stele before running away and locking Clary in with Simon. Okay, that was kinda funny.

Cut to Magnus's apartment, where he's doing…magical tai chi? Or just juggling magic balls, if you are so crudely inclined as to make a dirty joke out of it. Alec shows up, because…he can just walk in, I guess. And he apologizes. Because yes, we're supposed to think Magnus was right earlier.

And after this nonsequitur of a scene, it's back to Clary and Simon stuck in their container. They actually have a nice moment of just being friends, which gets interrupted because…Simon tried to break down the door earlier and it paid off. Cue Simon being all disappointed that he didn't get to make his move on Clary, because we can't have nice things.

So, Jocelyn tracks Jace with the glove Clary snatched from the Institute, Clary and Simon follow her using the GPS on Clary's phone, Alec and Magnus track him through the parabatai bond…except not, because Jace gets on land just then and Alec can sense him again. This unfortunately also means that the Institute finds him immediately.

Why is Jace on land, you ask? Well, Valentine took him to a vampire den started by a woman who killed her family, in an attempt to convince him that the demon blood will always prevail and make him evil. Oh, and it'll also make him want Clary, because yes, we're following this stupid plot point. Jace hears screams inside the den, rushes in, and kills the vampires.

Meanwhile at the Institute, Alec and Isabelle show up to stop Aldertree, even going as far as to openly rebel, in spite of his earlier threats to de-rune them if they disobeyed him. This goes nowhere, except to have Lydia promises she'll do what she can to help Jace.

Speaking of Jace, the leader of that vampire den surrenders to the authorities of the Clave, meaning he can't kill her.

"Look at you. You got your stake all ready to go, and you can't use it. […] I'm no longer a threat. I know my rights."

Is the show trying to make us fall for Valentine's manipulation? Because that's kind of what it feels like. And…well, this has a very distinct air of police brutality to it, which is not helped by the fact that Downworlders have been a longstanding race metaphor. So Jace falls for the obvious bait, kills her just as Clary and Simon show up…as well as Jocelyn, who shoots Jace with a crossbow. Valentine takes the shot, the Institute forces show up, and Jace escapes with Valentine through his portal.

Which…was admittedly a pretty tight climax for the episode. The constant back-and-forth was edited tight enough to increase tension instead of preventing us to care about any of the plot lines, and Jocelyn's interference makes Jace's choice to stay with Valentine make a little more sense. So there is that.

And…that's episode 1. And so far, the show sounds…pretty equal to itself. The Malec is pure nonsense, Jace gets way too much angst and focus. And Aldertree is…I'm not sure where I stand on him, but at the very least his attitude makes him more believable as someone most people would follow as a leader, so there is that. On the other hand, Jocelyn being awake means she has agency in this story, which is a pretty good thing. And yes, I'd be lying if I said I didn't know where this is going, but I'll get to it when I get to it. Until then, this is what we got.

#This Guilty Blood #shadowhunters #Michael Reisz #Matt Hastings #Todd Slavkin #Darren Swimmer #mcg #series #TV series #review #reviews #series review #series reviews #the shadowhunter chronicles #cassandra clare #st: shadowhunters s2

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killiantaylorua · 5 years ago

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Jaeger Recruits

I wandered in a circle, around City E’s Fountain. Being the 0 point target means i have to wait 30 minutes into the 60 minutes allotted to the wannabe heroes combat test. 29 minutes passed. Then 56 seconds, 55, 54… Oh this is so boring. My nice, silky brown suit keeps my attention. How it grips to my body and keeps me cool in any weather, oh it is lovely. The yellow button up is a little rough, but I don't mind. To be honest im surprised no heroes made it to the center fountain. Are the sidekicks too much? Disappointing, I would have thought my fellow Jaegers made it tOH, 30 minutes!

I took in a huge breath, then yelled! “HELLO PARTY PEOPLE, I'M COMING OUT TO PLAY!” Perfect Mics voice is so much fun. And his quirk. I have the quirk sound replay. Any sound I hear, I can repeat at anytime. This quirk also copies direct vocal quirks. For example, Present Mics Voice quirk allows him to turn up his voice to pitches and volumes unbearable to the human ear. Others i have picked up include the singer Gloria Darius’s dance quirk. Her quirk causes anyone that hears her singing to dance uncontrollably. Anywhere she goes a rave soon starts. Oh, I also borrowed a UA Main’s Class 1 A voice. Koji Koda’s Anivoice. That reminds me, “Wolves, to Me.”

Two wolves came out of neighboring buildings. Gray with white speckling, brown eyes, black pads on the bottom of their paws, truly powerful, and beautiful creatures. The wolves suddenly froze, then bent, growling, ready to pounce. I wondered why, a feeling of uneasiness falling on me. Then I saw him. A long, clawed hand reached out from behind a building, gracefully touching the ground, not making a sound. Soon the rest of him came forward, he was almost werewolf like in form, except for the lack of hair and significantly longer form.. The top half of his head, covered in that dark mirrored glass. Corvus had changed dramatically.

I smiled to myself. This quirk, bestial transformation, was taken from a criminal who had hunted civilian in state parks. Corvus had said, he tasted like a honeyed ham, sweet, salty, and delicious. Well I lost. He has 10 quirks, 8 of them are from villains I know that he ate. All known killers, his form of justice. I agreed with this system, and was inspired to form the Jaegers, murderer killers. We capture criminals who have not killed, and treat them normally, go through all the regular channels. However at those moments, we go with my hero agency, The Soundwave agency. Those who have killed however... we incapacitate and feed them to Corvus. It is... unique to watch.

Quirks he has gained, Bestial transformation, plasma sweat, animal: bulldog bat, electrical discharge, bladed extensions, alterable horns, piercing gaze, time dilation. Slight flaw, he can only use one at a time, and it takes him a couple minutes to switch between them. “Wolves, attack the beast.” One of the wolves burst into flames, and the other dissolved into water, moving towards Corvus. The water wolf reformed behind Corvus and leapt toward his back.

Corvus’s back leg kicked out and sent the wolf flying backwards into a building. A loud “YIP” was heard as the wolf hit the building and fell to the ground. “SMACK,” and the wolf was knocked out. Corvus swung his arms wildly, quickly, removing the flames from the other wolf. The fire wolf froze, before Corvus grabbed it, and threw it at me. I dodged out of the way but when the wolf hit the ground, it was out. I looked at Corvus but it was too late, he had leapt on top of me before I could react.

“So boss,” he snarled, drool, spraying all over my face, “Mind surrendering.” He cackled, more drool seeping from his mouth.

“Well, you forgot something pal, GET OFF ME!” Perfect mics quirk is nice, but using others vocal quirks damages my vocal chords. I have to be careful with how long I use them. Corvus tried to maintain his grip, but the noise caused him to recoil and release me. I scrambled away, ready to release another blast. Corvus stumbled and returned to his original form, his clothes ripped, and hanging on by mere strands. He has five minutes before he can switch quirks, meaning I have to work quickly. If he becomes his bulldog bat, i won't be able to defeat him.

“Need a little help there,” a voice called from behind me. I turned, but before I could react, a palm slammed under my ribs, another to my throat, and another to my skull. I froze instantly, paralyzed by some unseen force. A shirtless kid with baggy jeans, wild blonde hair, and observant gray eyes that looked over his work. “Paralyzed, and can't move an inch, God I love my power. You good over there?”

“I’m Fine,“ he said, frustrated. The corner of his mouth twitched, and I could feel his eyes on me. This was not how he intended it to end.

“Hah that's good! Thanks to you ill be getting some rescue points, see you round!” He bolted off looking for more heroes to take out and civilians that needed rescuing.. Corvus turned looking up at one of the cameras that covered the city. He knew the judges were watching, and he wanted them to know he had more, could have even beat me. However, thanks to this paralyzer, his chance at showing he was better than a pro was lost. Me and my blindsides, shouldn't have let my guard down so easily. When it comes to physical battles, I admit I’m not very adept. That is why I specialize in stealth rescues and… other missions.

Corvus walked back towards the direction of the entrance. After he passed by several buildings, i couldn't see him anymore. The test finished, and the paralyzation eventually wore off. Doctors took care of the injured sidekicks and hero wannabees. My injuries were only moderate and i refused treatment. The others who were uninjured or as stubborn as me had already returned home. I have some paperwork to deal with, so many wannabes, so many evenings spent getting our new students.

“Perspective Change. 2 weeks later.” “Corvus, got a new batch.” MockingBird Looked at me in his regular brown attire. I smiled. We were standing in his office in UA. It was rather plain, with most of the more basic features. Computer, pencils, file cabinets, paperwork, nothing personal. However he had a really nice pair of headphones. I guess if he adapts different noises to his voice, a good pair of headphones would make the sounds clearer.

“Come in recruits.” This year's UA hero wannabees had some rather, zealous heroes.” 5 people walked in, One a giant Wasp Woman, her many lenses staring at everything in the room, her expression unreadable, her 4 arms crossed in front of her. She had a primarily black and yellow color to her body, 4 massive colorful wings, a heavy exoskeleton, and a massive stinger. Two more walked in, identical outfits: all black leather suits, black jeans, long black boots with black motorcycle helmets, and black gloves. Thermite walked in, a bored expression on his face, followed by the kid with the metal vomit quirk.

“Welcome to UA heroes, or should i say Jaegers. Justice moves slowly, and is enacted incorrectly when it comes to murderers, so we must… move things along. A life for a life, and as we are the one who collects the payment we are never indebted.”

I spoke up, continuing the description. “We kill only when the enemy has, we will never kill when one hasn't killed, or has yet to kill. And we never kill while with other heroes, only as a pack do we hunt, reduces opportunity for our prey to escape, and for our pack to get captured/identified. We will only request your at night, once we have found some prey. Do you understand?” They nodded.

The wasp chirped from its mandibles, “We are ready to serve the ideal Stain has prepared for the world. Stain wouldn't just want the heroes to suffer, but also the villains that killed, and in doing this heroic work none shall reward us, the gift of a true hero.”

I turned to Mockingbird with a wide smile. “See, zealous.” He met my smile with an even larger one. “Let's remodel this world, and take justice into our own hands. Let us be the true heroes.”

Mockingbird turned from me and faced everyone. Then he spoke in the voice of All Might, “Let us hunt, true heroes. We must go beyond what society believes is good, and go Plus Ultra.”

“PLUS ULTRA!” Whenever he does that voices it slightly scares me. All might is intimidating, even if he is a hero, no wonder he was able to keep the villains back for so long. But with Corvus, i think it's time someone takes his place. I will eat any villain, take their powers, and become the new Symbol Of Peace! No… the Symbol of True Justice, Judge, Jury, Executioner. Ha! If you asked me last year if i would eat people for powers i would have said no. But as a form of Stains justice, and a new symbol is needed… you gotta do what you gotta do. And who knows, my quirk might grow in ways I haven't seen. I am getting hungry.

#bnha #my hero academia #my hero academy oc #my hero acadamy #boku no hero academia #boku no hero oc #oc #my writing #mha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #my hero academy fanfiction #boku no hero fanfic #fanfic #judgement #plus ultra #go beyond

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stripedigital · 5 years ago

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Create the Best Email Subject Lines with These Useful Tips + Examples

Globally, experts estimate that nearly 4 billion active email accounts exist out there. Nearly 300 billion emails from businesses enter inboxes every single day. Do the math. People get around 75 business emails per day. And it’s only increasing.

Are you take time to read 75 emails a day? Are you opening that many? How many messages just sit there day after day, getting marked as read when you never even opened it?

This kind of skimming the inbox is what you’re up against. It’s why only the best email subject lines get opened. Let’s look at 50 of the highest performing and best email subject lines we’ve seen and why they work so well.

#1 Appeal to People’s Need for Instant Gratification

Whether the topic is weight loss, saving for retirement, or getting to page one in searches – people know there are no magic pills. But still the idea that you can have things now that you really didn’t have to work for appeals to a lot of people.

University of Illinois Professor, Shahram Heshmat Ph.D., studies the science behind how people make choices. He says “There is psychological discomfort associated with self-denial. From an evolutionary perspective, our instinct is to seize the reward at hand, and resisting this instinct is hard.”

The best email subject lines offer this opportunity for instant gratification.

As you’re exploring the examples of best email subject lines in this article, consider this point.

69% of email recipients will mark an email as spam just because of the subject line. There are no “magic bullet” subject lines that work every time for every audience.

There’s often a fine line between an effective subject line that has a high open rate and one that appears spammy. Understanding your audience and what the spam rates are telling you will help you adapt in order to navigate this fine line.

Now, let’s look at some of the best email subject lines that promise instant gratification.

Great Examples of Instant Gratification Subject Lines

1. “How to email a busy person (including a word-for-word script)” – Ramit Sethi

A word for word script means they’ve done all the work for you.

2. “Steal these email templates…” – Digital Marketer

3. “We Need Your Help! Get $5 in Free Gas For Completing Our Survey” – Pacific54

They had a 46% open rate with this subject line.

4. “Grow your email list 10X faster with these 30 content upgrade ideas” – Optinmonster

5. “Your beauty issues, solved” – Sephora

6. “Key Takeaways from SaaS Connect 2018” – Kiwi Creative

Busy people love when they can get the “Cliffs Notes” from an important webinar, seminar or meeting. This one earned Kiwi Creative a 60% open rate.

#2 Generate a Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) Response

FOMO is a relatively unresearched psychological phenomenon that compels a person to do something for fear of missing out on information, an experience or something else that others have.

It’s this urge that keeps many tied to their social media feed, just waiting for the next post to appear when they’re not working. And sometimes when they are. Researchers are just beginning to conduct studies and learn what drives this overwhelming urge.

But from a marketing perspective, FOMO has been long established and confirmed through analytics, A/B testing and professional experience.

The average person can’t help but click if they feel they might be missing out.

Examples of FOMO Subject Lines

Using FOMO requires a delicate balance. Because marketers have been using it perhaps since the invention of the printing press, it can feel “played out.”

Explore new and different ways to generate a FOMO.

7. “Uh-oh, your prescription is expiring” – Warby Parker

Warby Parker is an online prescription eyeglasses company. Whether they know if your prescription is expiring or not, this is a very FOMO line.

8. “Happy Birthday Lindsay – Surprise Inside!” – Rent the Runway

The fact that’s it’s Lindsay’s birthday makes this not only feel exclusive. It also feels like whatever the offer is, it’s only good today.

9. “Hey” – Barack Obama

This one probably only works if you’re the President of the United States or high profile celebrity. But it’s definitely a FOMO subject line in that context.

10. “You’re missing out on points.” – Jet Blue

For people who are trying to build up travel miles, this is the worst thing they can hear. They want to know how to fix it ASAP. They do that by opening the email when they see best email subject lines like this one.

11. “The timer’s going off on your cart!” – King Arthur Flour

#3 Evoke Curiosity

People are very curious creatures. Curiosity and FOMO often overlap. But not always. The psychology behind them is very different.

Respected Professor of Psychology and Economics, George Loewenstein explains curiosity this way. It’s a feeling of mental deprivation caused by the perception that there’s a gap in understanding.

Deprivation is a strong word. But it’s very well-placed. When something makes a person curious, they feel like there’s a void that they must fill. It’s like they haven’t eaten in a week. And you just offered them a hamburger.

It’s the continual pursuit of knowledge that drives people to click the best email subject lines while leaving the rest of their inbox unattended.

Great examples of Curiosity Subject Lines

Curiosity is a very personal thing. What makes one person overwhelmingly curious will leave another scrolling by. Know your audience. Know what makes them curious and you’ll create the most amazing headlines.

Here are some companies who do curiosity very well.

12. “Not Cool, Guys” – Buzzfeed

We want to know what the “guys” did. Don’t you?

13. “DO NOT Commit These Instagram Atrocities” – Thrillest

Be careful with all caps. This was just enough to get attention without feeling like screaming or spam.

14. “Buffer has been hacked – here is what’s going on” – Buffer

Yes, they really sent this email when they got hacked. It allowed them to be the first to inform people about the event. They could control the conversation around it because they were proactive. And they used this exceptional curiosity-evoking subject line.

15. “Last Day To See What This Mystery Email Is All About” – Grubhub

16. “A faster donkey” The Hustle

Who wouldn’t want to know what The Hustle is talking about?

4. Craft Humorous Subject Lines

The world-renowned Psychologist, author and inventor of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud believed that humor was one of the few ways that you could connect straight to a person’s subconscious mind. It melts the mental blocks, defense mechanisms and logical thinking that may prevent a person from connecting with another.

If you can just make a person laugh, you’ve just earned a moment of their time.

Over the years, people have built up barriers to marketing strategies. Some people see FOMO subject lines coming a mile a way. They don’t click. They know what you’re trying to do.

People with these strong anti-marketing barriers don’t react the same way to humor.

Great examples of Humorous Subject Lines

Of course, the issue here is that what one person finds to be “ha ha” funny someone else might find to be in poor taste or even offensive. You’ve got to consider your audience and find what works with them.

Through it, you develop the best email subject lines.

Some of the best funny email subject lines we’ve seen include:

17. “Abra-cord-abra! Yeah, we said it.” – Quirky

Quirky is a website that connects inventors with companies that may want to buy their ideas. This corny play on words is followed by a conversational statement that people commonly make after saying something silly. It earned a lot of clicks.

18. “Yes, I’m Pregnant. You Can Stop Staring At My Belly Now.” – Baby Bump

19. “NEW! Vacation on Mars” -Gozengo

20. “Pairs nicely with spreadsheets” – Warby Parker

21. “Where to Drink Beer Right Now” – Eater Boston

The pub sent this one at 6:45AM on a weekday, making the timing part of the joke. You’re probably on your way to work at that time.

And we’ve got a bonus and possibly the winner.

22. “*Don’t Open This Email*” from Manicube.

If you found none of those remotely funny, it speaks to how hard it can be to pull off the perfect zinger. But don’t be afraid to explore humor as a means to overcome objections and barriers that stand in the way of a person opening an email.

#5 Create Outrageous Subject Lines

Boring, everyday subject lines don’t earn clicks. Even if you’re a buttoned-up professional brand, few audiences will respond to a simple description of the email.

You need to be bold. It helps to be a bit audacious. You can find ways to be a little outrageous without straying from your brand.

Being outrageous doesn’t mean stoking controversy or getting under people’s skin unless you really know your audience will appreciate it. It’s more about causing and “I can’t believe they said that” or “what is this all about?” feeling.

Great Examples of Subject Lines That Got A Little Outrageous

23. “Let’s get fat, Boston” – Thrillist

It was an email exploring some of the best restaurants in Boston. It’s a bit off-beat. But it makes you look.

24. “How to organize your VHS collection” – HubSpot

25. “Is Twilight the best movie ever made?” – HubSpot

26. “Our Blades are F***ing Great.” – Dollar Shave Club

Know your audience. Some audiences will find cursing funny or non-conformist. Others find it offensive. Dollar Shave Club gambled on this one and won big with their target audience.

#6 Make Them Feel Like an Insider

Why do we like inside jokes? People want to feel like they’re a part of something. And see something that they know only a handful of people will understand, they feel special.

This is true whether your audience is in MENSA (the club for geniuses) or in a certain field of work that uses a certain language. Using insider subjects further connects your audience to you because it shows that you’re an insider too.

Great Examples of Insider Subject Lines

Don’t worry. We’ll give you the explanation in case you’re an outsider among these groups.

27. “!” – DiningIn

People who use messaging apps will recognize an exclamation point as a stand-in for words. By using it the sender is expressing that they have something very exciting to show you when you open the email. The target audience will understand this and have to click.

28. “As You Wish” – Uncommon Goods

It’s a reference to the cult fantasy classic “Princess Bride”. Choose movies that are very likely to be viewed by your audience.

29. “Coffee’s for closers” – Glengarry Glen Ross

Not a known email subject line. But it should be. Anyone in sales or marketing would likely get the reference.

30. “11 is a crowd. We’ll wait.” – ThinkGeek

You may want to brush up on your binary code for this one. 11 in the binary representation for 3.

#7 Stroke Their Ego

We all have one. An ego. When someone else says something that makes you feel good about yourself, you probably just made a friend. A momentary feeling on vanity is what a person gets out of a subject line like these.

You may not think of vanity as an emotion.

But it certainly is. The best email subject lines tap into emotions. You don’t have to be a narcissist to feel it. People with all levels of pride and self-importance can be positively triggered when you stroke their ego.

Great Examples of Ego-Stroking Subject Lines

31. “Your Butt Will Look Great in These Workout Pants” – Fabletics

Who doesn’t want to hear that?

32. “Wow! Fantastic credit score.” – NerdWallet

For someone who’s financially-savvy, that’s a great compliment.

33. “So What Did You Think? Write a Review.” – REI

Demonstrating that you value a person’s opinion is a great way to stroke their ego.

34. “? Want a Custom Emoji of Tullamore & 6 Months FREE Walks?” – Wag

This is a personalized subject line. “Tullamore” is the dog of the person receiving this email. For pet lovers, the pet is an extension of the person’s sense of self. Complimenting the pet or offering them something special can be just as powerful as targeting the person’s ego.

35. “Hey [First Name]! Which one of these would be your favorite read?” – EmailMonks

#8 Feel Their Pain

When you can speak to a target audience’s pain points, you show that you understand how people use your product and why. It demonstrates that you think from the side of the consumer rather than from your own business from time to time.

Great Examples of Pain Point Subject Lines

36. “Since we can’t all win the lottery…” -Uber

This subject line speaks to a very specific audience. 70% of lottery players are in their 20’s and 30’s. Around 90% of players have jobs but say they’re having trouble paying their bills. These individuals are also the most likely to become Uber drivers.

37. “How to Survive Your Next Overnight Flight” – Thrillest

38. “Stop wasting time on mindless work” – Evernote

39. “[Pain Point] | [Company Name].” -Demanddrive

DemandDrive uses this template again and again to generate high open rates.

40. “[First Name], here’s how you can [Benefit from our Solution]” -Growthhackers

Similarly, Growthhackers has found a template that works well with their audience. They use it repeatedly to increase clicks.

As your exploring how to create the best email subject lines, think systematically. Explore by using a handful of templates that you can quickly fill in to generate a compelling headline.

#9 Create a Sense of Urgency

You’ve probably stumbled upon some classic TV commercials that say “Act now!”. And this is what you can try with your subject lines too. Although not necessarily these exact words, you can convey scarcity and urgency in your subject lines to urge subscribers to act immediately. However, be sure to use this subject line only when the campaign calls for it.

This is the oldest trick in the marketing book. But it still works in digital marketing. The analytics prove it. It’s definitely among email subject line best practices.

When someone feels that they have time to do something later, they put it off. They think at the time that they’ll come back. But they rarely do.

When people feel like they must open something now or miss out, they at least take a peek.

A study reported in the New York Times found that 20% of people are chronic procrastinators. If they don’t feel like they have to do it now, they won’t. The Journal of Consumer Research found “being busy” was one of the top social media “humblebrag” statements.

People like to stay busy. They like to be perceived as busy. They often don’t feel that they have time to open your email.

To get the highest email open rates, make people feel like they must open this now — not later.

MailChimp found the following benefits of using time-sensitive words:

Urgent – Increased email open rate by 79%

Breaking – Increased email open rate by 68%

Important – Increased open rate by 55%

Alert – Increased open rate by 31%

This is definitely a tip that you’ll want to follow up with analytics to make sure “time sensitive” words aren’t getting emails sent to spam folder. That 79% increase will be worth it for some when compared to spam rate.

Subject lines like these that can land some businesses in the spam folder. So they should always be tested first on a small segment of the email list.

Note there are many more ways to express urgency. Try these.

Great Examples of Time-Sensitive Subject Lines

41. “Your 7-figure plan goes bye-bye at midnight…” – Digital Marketer

42. “[New Product] just arrived. Only 15 left.”

43. “Before you write another blog post, read this” – Sumo

44. “Extended for a day! Get Free shipping through Friday.” – VerticalResponse

#10 Avoid Spam Language

You don’t always intend for the subject to sound spammy. But over the years, certain language has been flagged as spammy language by spam filters. because of the rampant misuse of that headline.

Experts estimate that each charity loses around $15K a year of would-be donations because they accidentally said something “spammy”. You don’t spend time and money building a quality subscriber list just to be sent to spam.

Act-On has created a great list of phrases an innocent business might use that sends them straight to spam.

Those words include but aren’t limited to:

Opportunity

Satisfaction Guaranteed

No Purchase Necessary

Eliminate Debt

FREE {In all CAPS}

Success

Hot

Bad Credit

Increase

Make Money Fast

This list may elicit feelings of nostalgia for the days before we had spam filters to filter this stuff out. But some of these are completely innocent words that are often used in spammy ways. You might not choose to avoid these words altogether. But definitely see how they are received by your audience.

Avoiding spam filters will help improve email deliverability.

#11 Segment Your Best Email Subject Lines

Segmentation is a form of personalization. You divide email recipients into groups based on a major trait that they share. This could be:

Age range

Industry

Geography

Job Role

Behaviors

Then customize the subject line based on this trait to make it more relevant.

The open rate for a segmented email is about 14% higher than non-segmented. When something feels customized and relevant, people are more likely to see it. On average, a business can increase email-generated revenues by 58% by segmenting.

#12 Personalize it

Personalizing is a step up from segmentation. It’s when you send a specific email to a specific person at a specific time.

You might include their name in the subject line. But personalization goes far beyond this.

Personalized emails may:

Welcome a new subscriber

Thank a person for their purchase

Suggest other items based on their purchase or viewing history

Remind them to finish a video

It’s both the timing and message that make these types of email subject lines so effective. This kind of timing is only possible through email automation.

This Email Monday chart shows how businesses are benefiting from email automation.

Examples of Personalized, Automated Email Subject Lines

45. “Hi, { Customer Name}, I’m deleting your Envira account” – Envira

This is a bold move that could backfire. Obviously, if you say you’re unsubscribing someone or deleting their account, you have to do it if they don’t respond. But a message like this can renew interest with a person who never opens emails.

46. “{Customer Name}, Did you miss out on some of these new features?” – Animoto

47. “Email subscriber exclusive: [Product name] sale is here.” – VerticalResponse

That product would be something this individual recently viewed. Automation can pull it into the email to make that missed sale. This kind of email is one of the top tricks for improving eCommerce ROI.

48. “Were we boring you, {Customer Name}?” – Unbounce

49. “Hey, forget something? Here’s 20% off.” – Bonobos

50. “Steve, where’d you go?” – Unbounce

The Best Email Subject Lines

The best email subject lines are built around your target audience and brand. But you can definitely get some ideas by looking at what’s working for other companies. These 50 examples will have you well on your way to creating high-performing subject lines of your own.

Are you getting the most out of your email marketing investment? We can help you achieve a higher ROI. Contact us today.

The post Create the Best Email Subject Lines with These Useful Tips + Examples appeared first on Digital Marketing Blog.

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