#not really joking actyally

[spookykestrel]

ahhhhhhh what do i have to contribute to this world ifim not the designated driver

[theminecraftbee]

[writing found in a floating temple belonging to an unknown player on a distant server. while there were no signs of life in the temple, there were signs of life in the caves below it, including some rusted armor sets, complicated machinery overgrown by birch saplings, and a small robot with a tag on it that read “lil buddy” and a battery clutched in one of its claws. despite all attempts, researchers could not find the portal that is normally found by those players taken in by the vault gods, though given the presence of an altar, it is certainly nearby, and the area has been quarantined until that portal’s location can be ascertained.]

I asked Idona to save me the other day.

It feels fickle; it feels like the sort of thing I only said because that’s what one ought to say to gods, when they want something from them. “Save me, Idona.”

They did no such thing, but I didn’t expect them to. I knew them when they still demanded blood sacrifice; now that they merely demand challengers at their altar instead of anything so obvious as the blood of their enemies, it can be easy to forget how malicious they had once seemed. It’s easy to forget that asking things of them had once ended poorly.

Perhaps that’s the Paradox that they are showing me; I had asked Idona to save me because within that Paradox, they would build a mine. That a blood god now offers mines and blacksmiths to me instead, in a place I can design to access myself—well, it’s easy to forget how I once knew them.

It’s easy to forget how often their challenges killed me once, too, back before I knew the trick to finish them quickly. The Gods had seemed just as cruel and capricious as always when I’d simply failed to find enough of the chests they’d laid out and they punished me by causing my health to steadily fade away.

That rarely happens anymore.

You see, yesterday, I killed a wither with a single hit from my javelin and a single hit from my sword. As I flew home, a nether star clutched in my feelers, I felt very little. It was hardly a challenge compared to the vaults; I don’t know why I’d expected more.

The gods have challenged me; I have risen to that challenge. I sweep through vaults, their minders at the side of my head, until I find their altar to bow at, find their altar to make promises of being the challenger they’re looking for at. I know the tricks to find my way around a vault, after all. I spend more time there than the overworld.

I wonder if I’m becoming arrogant, actually.

Even without my armor or sword, I’m too strong for the endermen I used to accidentally release from my farms. I hit them once and they die; if the punch doesn’t work, a javelin or a cast spell will. With the endermen, it’s fine.

With my parrots or dogs—

I have Lil Buddy now. He can’t die because I’m not meant for the overworld anymore, I don’t think.

I wonder if that, too, is the Paradox. The gods are gifting me unlimited power. I step into a vault I have designed myself, under their guidance, and I pull untold riches from it every time. The gods are gifting me strength, which I can call from an altar at any time. No threat can step near me without either being poisoned or scratched by the strength of my blade.

But I have not had a pet that is not made of metal in—I don’t know how to count days any longer. Time passes strangely inside of vaults. It is Wendarr’s trickery. I simply know I haven’t since I was level 70, and that feels like ages ago.

That’s about when I realized perhaps I am untouchable to that which I want, too.

Maybe I should ask Idona to save me for a reason that was not me, desperately trying to seek out their altar for jewels I hardly need these days; maybe I should ask Idona to save me from sacrificing more than I can give.

I know them, though. I’ve known them since they’ve demanded blood.

They won’t.

And one day, I will give them everything, and I will thank them for it. The one god that even they worship above all others, after all, is greed, and that is an altar I cannot simply stop going to.

[bigb-enthusiast]

how do you feel about Roblox YouTuber bigbstatz

I want him

[maspaz]

i made a joke about shroud being down with whitechapel charlie and i dont think its a joke anymore

charlie: i need a dirty boy to do some dirty, dirty work

shroud (sleep deprived, drunk, hasnt had game in two years): ...

shroud: oh my! well. im down to do anything once

shroud: where should we take this? when are you off the cock? i mean clock

charlie: jesus christ no i want you to kill people.

shroud: oh! i can do that i guess

[kaisworlds]

r u... uhm.. gay... cuz i dont really support that and i think i should know right off the bat :/

g-gulp....guys im a-actyally straight im definitely not gay guys but dont look at my other posts those were all jokes promise :) i too dont rlly support gay ppl yk 😎

[brokenmachinemusings]

tw suicide talk i guess. rare moment where i actually talk about whats going on in my brain. nothing serious this is mostly kept as casual writing.

honestly the only reasons im even alive rn are 1. hoping for a liberation in this world & that everyone is free, wish to possibly live until then (and. hopefully helping w a small change in the world.) 2. mass of the fermenting dregs concert in march (the bigger reason i havent offed myself tbh) (i forgot about this and then got reminded of it and it was just around when i was contemplating how to die. then once i remembered im now in the mindset of I Must Get It Over With This Month At Least.)

erm. when i was younger i had the whole “i have to live until 18!!!!” shtick which was also part of why i didnt kill myself back then. i dont believe in that anymore especially because i am approaching 18 but. food for thought? i guess???? this is the type of joke i would crack and people just stare at me like they saw a ghost. maybe i am a ghost.

this topic is. Really casual to me (in the context of myself) and im not sure if its because. im mentally ill. im a system. simply that i hate this world and dont want to live in it. something else. all of the above. or whatever. eh

part of me wants to drop out already and just rot away but at the same time i know thats just a traumatized part☝️ i know what u are. he has been trying to sabotage us for years and hes actyally cool just that. persecutor shit can rly fuck with ur psyche. also gets us lagging behind on our schoolwork. sighs.

that said there has also been a lot of persecutors fronting lately. or persecutor-adjacent parts? not sure. whatever. not like it matters much. ill shut up now im just trying to digest my thoughts and emotions. been “numb-crying” recently which is a really weird thing to experience. (basically when u start crying because of emotions but its not proper crying more like something leaking out. like a faucet that is damaged. and u dont feel anything either. except the overwhelming vortex of ur mind. and a burning tear on ur face or two. maybe not even realizing ur crying until later on. which might just be emotional amnesia.) ya know

im also wondering if this is Too Much to share with the internet, or well Tumblr Dot Com but. i didnt share anything dangerous per se and nothing that triggers me so i should be fine🤔 just saying if someone responds to this with “kys” ill just laugh in your face and block you or something. lolza. ok bye 4 now

[flamingthespian]

After failing to gather sufficient evidence for the existence of ghosts through traditional means, Shane and Ryan take to extreme measures: dressing up as catboys and meowing at the ghosts.

[badnew2005]

u talked abt chemical toilet reunion in your tags and summoned............country chemical toilet macden........

[cloneslugs]

[booler]

im not even bi actyally sorry for lying. im hold on let me google something

Aorry i was actually going to make a joke about omnivores or something but this wiki is really funny i think im in love with auto bisexual it means youre bi but you’re down to fuck yourself too

[kvgehiras]

can i request sleepover hcs with trickstar (separate)? i feel like they would be so much fun to be with... the new shuffle unit really woke up my inner trickstarP 🥺 (hope it's not too much to request all 😭)

HELLO !!! nd no it's ok !!!! it took me some time bcs i didnt . rlly know how to start out hokuto's part BUT IT'S DONE NOW !!!!!!! (also i hope u meant it in a setting where y/n nd the members r in a relationship (separately ofc) bcs that's how i wrote it so ye) hope yall like it ~

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

AKEHOSHI SUBARU

• he probably brought up the idea while u were accompanying him on a walk w daikichi

• u were talking abt how u brought these glow-in-the-dark stickers nd they remind u of him

• "it would b so nice if u could see it omg!!! but .... it's the best when u watch it right before u go to sleep.....nd ur probably busy :(("

• "????? LETS HAVE A SLEEPOVER THEN!!!!!!! W ALL THE SPARKLE SPARKLE STARS!!!! AAAAA IT WOULD LOOK SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!"

• nd ur just like :0 bcs u cant believe this dumbass . he has a live to perform in day after tomorrow but he's gonna have a sleepover........what

• "dw abt my live !!!!!!! ill tell hokke nd the others that i can't come today but i'll practice extra hard tomorrow !! they'll understand dw (*・∀-)☆"

• they didn't.....actually...but he cut the call on hokuto before they could get him to attend so uh-

• "anyways!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^"

• yall bring daikichi over too. it's not even a question daikichi is literally yalls child at this point but anyways

• he probably looks for board games for a good hour or two while u get some food for daikichi nd then get some food for subaru nd urself

• (he doesn't find it)

• u peek at the doorframe bcs for a while u keep feeling like someone has been watching u for a while now nd then boom . u see the other baby (read : subaru . main baby is daikichi, ofc!) pouting at u

• u laugh nd wipe ur hands on ur apron before ruffling his hair nd he goes

• "i can't find the board games :((((( y/n :(((((("

• surprise guessing game : whos the actual puppy? akehoshi subaru or his actual dog daikichi??????? it remains a mystery

• anyways u help him look for them nd after u hand him over the thing u get food for the both of u nd force him to eat atleast a bite bcs this bitch is too busy trying to win against u in snakes & ladders 😭😭😭

• "subaru.....pls....the food is getting cold....."

• "no i Know im gonna win!!! the sparkly stars r my good luck!!!! i know it!!!!!!"

• he.... doesn't win .....for the 5th time....

• so manz just gives up, noms all the sandwiches visible (aka his portion bcs u alrdy finished urs an hour ago JDJDKDN)

• nd then sleeps, still sulking

• yes it ends up in u guys cuddling under the glowy stars

• nd subaru thinks that mayb losing against u isn't that bad after all (´꒳`)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

HIDAKA HOKUTO

• unlike subaru, this was actually a planned one

• u both had homework to do, u especially had a test tomorrow nd subaru just ditched the rest of trickstar to go hang out w someone else instead of their practice so ┐(´∀｀)┌

• hokuto appears at ur doorstep around 6:30pm, as discussed earlier

• "right on time!!!!!! so true hokke (´∀`)ｂ"

• he chuckles a lil as he closes the door behind him nd takes off his shoes

• "(y/n) u keep sounding like that masked pervert whenever u say smthg like that pls"

• u laugh it off nd then get him to the living room, where u two get ur books out nd then start studying

• hokuto asks if uve studied any material before to which u quietly reply no nd hokuto just goes

• "oh, that's ok… i think it will be good practice for me too if i taught u all this, right? so let's start, hm?"

• HOKKEEEEEEE ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

• sasuga hokuto kyun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• anyways !! u guys (finally) start studying now!

• except…..except ur alrdy falling asleep……

• hokuto doesn't even realise this till he looks over to his shoulder bcs wow it suddenly feels heavy! wonder why!

• nd then boom ur face is an inch away from his

• poor hokuto his face gets all red and his ears r burning nd when he realises that ur sleeping he just . freezes

• doesnt even move fucking muscle

• mentally too manz just checks out NDNDNDJDJKS

• BUT IN HIS DEFENCE WHEN HE CAME TO UR PLACE HE DIDNY EXPECT THIS!!!!!!! HE EXPECTED TO STUDY ND THEN GO HOME YK!!!!!!

• poor guy he can feel how hard his heart is beating nd hes praying that u dont hear it nd wake up

• thank goodness ur a heavy sleeper……..nothing, nd i mean not even if boulder is dropped on u, can wake u up

• sasuga…..y/n……?

• anyways !!!!!

• u wake up at like . 2 or 3 am nd u find hokuto just closing his eyes shut, cheeks still bright red nd. WHYS HE SO CLOSE-

• o u fell asleep on his shoulder lol-

• U FELL ASLEEP?????

• u jerk back up nd apologise a million times for falling asleep even tho hes so desperately trying to teach u nd hokuto just tries to hard to explain that it's ok !!!!!!! (bcs he actually kinda . liked it . aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA)

• after much thought u guys just decided to go to sleep bcs ur too tired anyways so it's not like u would retain this info anyways

• nd it was a good decision bcs after waking up in the morning nd going thru his notes instead u actually aced the test !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so true y/n !!!!!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

YUUKI MAKOTO

• this one….. it's like . neither planned or accidental?????

• it just happened????? yk?????

• he called u suddenly in the evening bcs he went to this new game shop that opened near his place right

• nd hes just like !!!!!!! y/n!!!!!!! uve got to check this game out !!!!!!

• nd so u go to his place to play the game nd u see that he just has everything prepared so u get the snacks that u got for both of u on a plate nd get some juice from his fridge nd start playing the game

• nd the game is rlly good !!!!!

• from the graphics to the boss music, makoto rlly knows ur taste

• (he blushes nd thanks u all flustered too hehe)

• nd after switching consoles nd playing the game for over 3 hrs, yes it's a pretty huge game, u finally reach the boss battle!!!!

• nd this . this scares u

• uve seen ppl on the net say that this battle will absolutely End u . periodt

• u never rlly understood why but holy shit u now do

• uve been trying to win against this bitch for AN HOUR at this point . why cant he just die

• poor makoto is just cheering u on in the bg bcs u refuse to let him help

• "y/n….(;´Д`)...... it's ok bb…...i'll finish this up for u…. it's like 4am we have class tomorrow- wait no it's actually today-"

• "makoto No u always help me in games let me finally win smthg for u !!!!!!"

• nd u point at his forehead nd poke it several times as u make ur point

• "ill win for u !!!!! ok!!!!! this stupid boss can never be as strong as my love for u !!!!!! (*｀へ´*) 彡3"

• nd hes just . looking at u all worried but he . he trusts u . so he lets u do it urself

• yes u lost even more times nd cried a lil out of frustration

• so at one point, instead of directly helping u, he just starts giving u directions nd at this point ur too tired nd exhausted to say anything so u just follow him

• (u also have ur head on his lap nd hes combing thru ur hair nd looking down at u like :') lmao what a lovebird)

• but when u actually beat the boss, finally, nd the screen says "win!" in huge yellow letters ur eyes go O.O

• nd u jump out of his lap, while he's still spaced out, combing ur hair nd hug him v tightly

• nd hes like ????? huh ???? wh wh wh ?????????

• nd u explain that u finally won nd u guys just rejoice lol

• then immediately fall asleep. both of u

• (u guys were late to school next day . sigh)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ISARA MAO

• unlike the other three, this man was actually dragged to ur place

• why? u might ask

• WELL THIS DUMB RAT IS BURNT OUT !!!!!! HE DOES TOO MUCH WORK ND HE DOESNT REALISE IT !!!!!!!!!!

• so after u guys r done w school, nd when u check in w his fam too that hes gonna stay at ur place (nd also that he has almost no work today, ofc) u drag him to an arcade nd hes like ???

• "today is a rest day!!!!!! so no work at all!!!!!!"

• u said this while pouting a bit so mao mostly thought u were joking

• but even after going to the arcade, going to the shopping mall nd getting snacks, going to the fast food place u guys visit alot nd getting food from there, his brain doesnt catch on that ur indeed not joking

• until it's been 3 hours at ur place, ur having the dinner that u guys had bought from the fast food place while watching a random movie that was airing on some channel that his brain suddenly went

• 'i know they were saying that this is a rest day nd ur not allowed to work probably as a joke but bro…. i dont think it's a joke anymore'

• this is so sad f in the chat for mao lol

• but also he doesnt bring it up bcs ur forcing him to watch musicals w u (some of ur favs) nd he... actyally likes it?

• he hasn't felt so ….relaxed in a very long time now that he thinks abt it

• nd he has to thank u for it yk

• nd so after the musical marathon ends, as he thanks u, he kind of just goes on a rant yk

• abt how he's feeling

• he never expected for this to happen but u tell him it's ok yk

• nd while he shouldn't burden himself w so much work, ur always open to listen to his thoughts, opinions, random bs, anything !!!!!!

• for hours u guys just have a very deep talk abt how guys have been doing nd mao feels like hes so so glad that u did smthg like this for him

• yall also go to bed early bcs mao alrdy has a bad sleeping schedule (so let's not make it worse!!!!)

• nd in conclusion, it was a v good day! now yall do this whenever either of u r feeling down or get burnt out lol

[froglegsz]

i think i made a joke last night ab having a dream ab the stars align last ep but it actyally really did happen

[imaginejamesandsirius]

How Sirius and James will get together if there is no war and at first James married Lily, but after some time both him and Lily of them realised that they are not actyally love each other so strong and etc. Thank you!

James was sat at the table, wondering what the hell he was going to do. Divorce. 

It wasn't the nicest word he'd ever heard. Despite what everyone might think, he knew that him and Lily hadn't been in love anymore. He hadn't given it much thought though. Relationships changed, that's part of the nature of getting older-- things change with time. So yes, James had known that they weren't in love anymore, but he didn't let it worry him. If he gave it more time, he was sure that they'd fall back in love. He didn't have to ask anyone if that's how relationships were; he thought he knew. They fell out of love, and surely they would fall back in love if he waited. 

Lily said that she didn't think they'd ever be in love, and James had tried to think about it, but then he felt like he couldn't breathe with panic so he stopped. 

So yes, now he was sat at the table, trying to think of what the ever-loving fuck he was going to do. He had to tell his mates that him and Lily had split. He had to find somewhere to live. He had to remember how to clean dishes because him and Lily had split chores, and she had chosen dishes since he agreed to do all the laundry. In a couple months-- or years, or however long it was going to take for him to get past this-- he was going to have to remember how to date. That wasn't a very good thought, but he was so vastly unprepared for that that it seemed an outlandish idea. 

He heard the floo go while he was occupied staring at the surface of the table, and he didn't look up, assuming that it was Lily getting back from grabbing some tea. He wasn't convinced she was actually getting tea every time she said that. Until they stopped living together though, that was going to continue. She wanted time alone, and their room wasn't exactly neutral territory. If she wasn't leaving the house to go out, James would probably be doing it. 

"James? You alright there, mate?" 

Sirius. "Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered. He was suddenly very aware that his elbow hurt from leaning his head against it. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting like that, doing nothing, but it must have been a while. "What're you doing here?" 

"You were supposed to meet me at the Leaky so I could take you muggle shopping, remember?" 

James looked over at him. It's true that Sirius was dressed in his usual muggle-outing clothes. "Yeah." He'd asked Sirius to take him shopping because the anniversary of his wedding was coming up, and he knew that Lily preferred muggle jewelry to magical jewelry; he'd planned to spend a few hours looking at necklaces and earrings because Merlin knew she deserved it. Getting an expensive gift for your ex-wife wasn't done though, so James should have canceled. The truth was that he'd completely forgotten about it the moment Lily had said the word 'divorce'. "Sorry love, I forgot all about it." It's only after he called Sirius 'love' that it occurred to him that he probably liked Sirius more than Lily. Always had. Lily was bloody wonderful, and he... Maybe Lily had been right about them never being in love. They'd been young, and they'd thought she was pregnant for a while there, but it had felt right, so they'd gotten married. 

"It's alright," Sirius said easily, lounging in one of the other chairs around the table. His legs were splayed out in front of him, and he nudged James's leg with the toe of his boot after he got settled. "What's with you? You normally don't forget about me." 

"I didn't forget about you-- I just forgot we had plans." 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "It was a joke. You and Lily okay?" 

The word divorce echoed around his head like the hollow of a bell. "We're separating," he said, because that didn't sound quite as bad. 

"Ah," Sirius said. He wasn't surprised. There was an understanding, sympathetic look on his face. "And you didn't see it coming?" 

James shook his head. "I mean, I knew we weren't in love anymore, but I thought that was pretty normal." 

"You thought it was normal to not love your wife?" 

James glared at him. 

"You have to admit that it sounds a little suspect." 

"I thought it was a phase," James grumbled. "We didn't love each other, so what? We'd fall back into it later on. You don't have to tell me that it's a shite idea. I found that out when I mentioned it to Lily." 

"You told her that?" 

James's glare intensified. 

"Not judging," Sirius said, holding up his hands in surrender. "Do you know what you're going to do?" 

"About what?" 

"Well... any of it. What you're going to tell people. How you're going to deal with gatherings where you'll both be there." 

"We're separating; we're not mortal enemies." 

"Yeah, I know, but divorce can change things. Perfectly tolerable habits suddenly annoy the hell out of you." 

"What makes you an expert?" 

"I'm not an expert, but I pay attention. Marlene's parents, remember?" Lily had been Head Girl and was too busy, and Mary and Dorcas had just started dating and she hadn't wanted to bother them. 

James blew out a breath, feeling very tired now that he wasn't propping himself up. "Right. I haven't... I haven't figured anything out yet. Not erm- not yet, anyways." 

"You can stay with me. Merlin knows I've got the space." 

"Really?" 

Sirius gave a crooked smile. "'Course. Can't leave my little Jamie out to dry." 

"We're the same size." 

"Ah, but I'm taller." 

James rolled his eyes. This was a well-worn argument, but one that made him feel better when faced with so much uncertainty. 

*

"Hey Lils," Sirius said, busing a kiss to her cheek. 

She gave a weak smile. 

"You alright?" 

"Just-" she shrugged with one shoulder. "I guess I thought that now that me and James have split, you wouldn't..." 

"Wouldn't like you anymore?" Sirius guessed, and she nodded. He snorted, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and steering them towards the furniture store. They'd written a few letters back and forth, but this was the first time seeing each other in person since she was trying to avoid seeing James for a little while. This was the first time James had been busy when both Lily and Sirius were free, so he was helping her shop for new furniture for her flat while they had the time. "If I'd only been pretending, I'm sure that would be what happened. Unfortunately, you are quite talented at making friends, and I was helpless to resist." 

"Not sure you've ever been helpless." 

Sirius laughed. "Flattery will do you a world of good, Miss Evans." She'd decided to switch back to her old name, and Sirius knew she was nervous about it. "What are we in the market for today?" 

"Everything?" 

"If that's not an invitation to buy you one of each chair, I don't know what it is." 

"Bloody hell. You're here for heavy lifting, not your opinion." 

"Rude. I have excellent taste." 

"I'm sure," she said dryly. 

*

"Do you ever think that love is fake?" James asked, looking up at the ceiling. If the question hadn't been enough to tip Sirius off that James was in a strange mood, the fact that he was lying on the ground instead of the couch would've done it. 

"Fake how?" 

"That we make it up to be this emotion that we all feel but it doesn't actually exist." 

"No. I mean, what about us? I love you. That's real; it's not a fake emotion." 

"That's exactly what I'm talking about." 

Sirius frowned. "I'm lost. How is me loving you proof that love is fake?" 

"Romantic love. It's fake." 

"So... you think that romantic love is fake because we're best mates?" 

"If you can't fall in love with me, no one can." 

"Does what you're saying make sense to you?" Sirius asked, more confused than ever. 

"I love you." 

"Yeah, I love you too." 

"That's not what I meant." 

"Right," Sirius said slowly. "Have you been drinking?" 

James pushed himself up onto his elbows to glare at Sirius. "No." 

"Then start making sense." 

"No," he said again, petulantly this time, and laid back on the floor. 

"Okaaay." Sirius wasn't altogether certain that he believed James when he said he hadn't been drinking, so when he was grabbing a cup for water, he checked the firewhiskey. It looked about the same that it had been before, which was good, but it didn't explain what was going on with James. 

He realised the date before dinner. Their anniversary. No wonder James was all twisted up. Maybe he hadn't been in love with Lily for a while, but they'd been together for nearly five years. A change that big was bound to effect you, whether you'd been in love with the person or not when you separated. 

*

The divorce had been finalised. Lily had officially moved into her own flat and made it like a home. It had been four months since they'd decided to separate, and it felt like things were going to be okay. It was still a little weird between them, but they were managing. James hadn't mentioned wanting to move out, and Sirius hadn't brought it up. They hadn't officially talked about it, but James was there to stay. He'd bought a new dresser since the last one he'd had was a shared one with Lily and far too big for the other room, and Sirius had helped him move it into his room without questioning the decision. 

At this point, he'd panic a bit if James announced that he was leaving. Sirius liked the company, and he knew that James felt the same. Or at least, he knew that if James minded, he would've found somewhere to live by now. 

"Sirius?" 

"Hm?" He didn't look away from the magazine he was flipping through. 

"Have you ever been in love?" 

"Yes," Sirius said, but that sounded too certain and he didn't want for James to ask too many questions. "I think so." 

"Who?" 

"Does it matter? We're not together." 

Not "we're not together anymore". It was "we're not together", period. James noticed that little detail. "You never dated?" 

"Does it matter?" Sirius repeated. 

"Who is it? How could you be in love with someone you never dated? Why don't I know them?" 

"What makes you think you don't?" 

"I know you," was James's immediate response. "I'd think that if I saw you together, I would notice something like that." 

Sirius flipped the page of his magazine and said nothing. 

James sighed. "I guess I don't know much about what people look like when they're in love, huh?" he joked. He wasn't mad at Sirius for not telling him, and he wanted to hear that Sirius wasn't upset with him either. 

So Sirius smirked a little and said, "Eh, don't worry about it. I'd like to think I hid it quite nicely." 

*

"What are we?" James asked. 

"What are we...?" 

"Yeah." 

"What?" 

"What what?" 

There was a moment where they both paused and frowned at each other. "What the hell are you talking about?" Sirius asked. "You started to ask a question, never finished, and I tried to get you to complete it, and then you stopped making sense." 

"Oh." That's not the way James had experienced it, but whatever. "No, I meant: what are we to each other?" 

"Er, best mates? Flat mates? Friends through thick and thin? Not that I'm sure what the thin or the thick is supposed to mean, but I know it's good that we stick together." 

"...right," James said, subdued. 

Sirius glanced at him, then did a double take at the expression on his face. He looked depressed. Worse than when him and Lily had split, because when that had happened, he was more lost than sad. He'd been sad when his parents died, but they'd been old and gotten sick; they'd all known that it was coming. "Are you sad that we're friends or summat?" 

"Of course not," he muttered, still looking down. 

"Then why are you upset?" 

"I'm not." 

"Oh is that what we're doing now? Lying to each other? Alright, I can get on board with that. I'd like to start with the quote unquote truth of what happened that night I got absolutely sloshed. It all started when I was riding a unicorn through the halls of my ancestral home-" 

"You know that's not what I meant," James mumbled. 

"Of course I do, but you're not talking to me. If you're having doubts about how much I care about you, shouldn't you tell me that straight out? I don't mind telling you. Or-" he said, switching directions as something occurred to him "-is this something you're trying to break to me? Are you wanting to move out? I'd miss you, obviously, but I'm not going to make you stay here if you'd rather live on your own." 

"I'm not moving out." 

"Then what's going on?" 

"Would you go on a date with me?" 

"What?" 

"A date. With me." 

"Are you... sure? That that's what you want, I mean. A date- well that changes things. Whether it goes good or bad, it's going to be different." 

James nodded. "I'm sure. I've been thinking about it for a while." 

Sirius wanted to say yes. More than anything, he wanted to say yes. He couldn't help but think that this was going to be something of a rebound for James, though. The first date after a divorce didn't lead to happily ever after. But he also knew that if he said no, there wouldn't be a second time. James would think that he wasn't interested, and they wouldn't mention it again. "Alright." 

James jerked. "Really?" 

"Sure," Sirius said with a grin. "It's been a while since I've been on a date. We can muddle through the awkwardness together." 

"When have we ever been awkward around each other?" 

"I'm sure we'd find a way. When do you want to do it?" 

"Er, tomorrow?" 

"Alright. What are we doing?" 

"Dinner?" 

Sirius nodded. 

"Indian?" 

"Sounds great. Do I have to get all dressed up for you?" 

James snorted, the rest of the tension bleeding out of his shoulders. "Not unless you want to." 

If that wasn't an invitation to make himself like handsome as all hell, he didn't know what was. 

[dronttiedvard]

Just gonna list some things that I have to get out of my mind so I can stop feeling depressed and go to sleep

1. I can’t wait for summer so I don’t have to dress like a angsty teenager trying to find their purpose

2. I can’t wait for summer so I can do summer things

3. I can’t wait for summer so I can go run and do workouts outside

4. I’m pretty sure chocolate milk is just cold hot chocolate

5. I actually love to do work or basicly anything that profits me somehow financially but I hate jobb applying and I would give anything for someone to just give a shitty two week summerjob so I could buy myself the 200€ shoes that I’m constantly thinking about and already have the money to buy but after that I wouldn’t have money to buy absolutely anything and I still worry about stuff like that even tho I don’t live on my own and I don’t have to buy my own food and stuff like that

6. If I could have one wish from a genie it would be that I would always find the things I’m looking for from my local trift stores and not online trift stores where I have to pay ecsessively expensive shippings

7. And now that I think about paragraph 6. I’m pretty sure that if that wish would come true I would never have any money and I would actyally just be really sad everytime I’d go trifting cuz I coundn’t buy anything I found

8. I can’t wait for the pandemic to be over so I’m just gonna stay home and only go to the grocerystore and my sports practise whilst wearing a mask of course

9. I’m really not surprised that LA is the covid capitol of literally the whole world when it’s where all the uneducated celebrities with no talent are living

10. I’m pretty convinced that tiktok celebrities (such as the ones that live in LA and have no real talent other than suprisingly poor lipsyncin skills) are only famous because of the pandemic and once the pandemic is over it’s over for them and I’m all here for it

11. I was about to do something incredibly rude but just decided to be responsible and not do it cuz it might offend some one and I wish more people would be like me and think twice before doing something (for example... ehemm... said celebrities)

12. Good night <3

Edit: I have to add couple more things because now that I got all the previous things out of my head my brain started to function a bit more better and I can unravel more stuff that kept me awake last night and also sum stuff that my brain produced while I was brushing my teeth

13. Why I feel like all blonde jokes are about women or at least they are always directed at women

14. Never underestimate people who can’t cook

15. I wish I was my cat

16. I don’t really believe in horoscopes but it’s starting to get suspiscious how well I fit into every single one description of my horoscope that I have ever encountered

17. I think I had one more thing to say but my brain froze again

18. Now, sleep well u <3

[wintersmitth]

Rate all the Armitage movies! 😘

You don’t know what you are in for. I’m going to be honest, so it’ll just be Richard’s filmograph here.  This is a thirst post.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 1999 

Naboo Fighter Pilot (uncredited)

I haven’t watched the movie, but I’ve seen one (1) gif with him and he’s so stoic and puts his good acting skills to good use. First deep into the Soldier Role.

Cleopatra (1999)

Didn’t look like a good movie, didn’t watch it. 

Doctors (2000), 2 episodes out of 3rd season

Didn’t find. 

Casualty (2001) s16ep17

Didn’t find it. But I tried!

Macbeth (2001)

As far as I’m concerned, they burned down the tapes. Nowhere to be found. 

Sparkhouse (2002)  John Standing

Cute beanpole забитий життям boy. Would 10/10 ask him out for coffee. 

Cold Feed (2003) Lee

First deep into Real Jerk character. No integrity. 4/10 and exclusively for the swimming pool scene. Because, you know. Reasons.

Ultimate Force (2003)

Didn’t find. 

Between the Sheets (2003)

The title isn’t misleading, from what I know, but.... Didn’t find. 

UPD: Recently saw a still from it, the блятська борідка cancels out everything 

North & South (2004) John Thornton

First John character. First Stoic and Troubled and Rude ruller who just wants best. 10/10 for... everything, I suppose. I’m not even rating this as RA’s role, this series is just That Good. 

Frozen (2005)

No, this is not Disney adaptation. Didn’t find. 

The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (2005) s04ep01 Philip Turner

Rich asshole, was a suspect to murder. 7/10 but only because I like British ненапряжні detectives.

Malice Aforethought (2005) 

Didn’t find. Didn’t appreciate his блядські вусики on the stills either, so -1/10. 

The Golden Hour (2005) Alex Turner

6/10 because I like medical dramas, but this was poorly executed. 

ShakespeaRe-Told (2005) Macbeth.  Peter Macduff.

Cut-throat kitchen retelling of Macbeth. James McAvoy rules the movie. 9/10 but only because Richard dies. 

The Impressionists (2006) Young Claude Monet

Really tried to watch, but it was just poorly and boringly shot. 5/10. 

Viccard of Dibbley (2006) Harry Kennedy

Viccar of Dibbley is overall a very feel good series. 10/10 would marry Harry Kennedy, though. 

Inspector George Gently (2007) Pilot  Ricky Deeming

8/10 because again I love British detectives, but 10/10 to lumberjack Richard Armitage in plaid. And in a leather jacket. Wait no. Actually 6/10, because homophobia. 

Miss Marie Lloyd (2007)

Didn’t find. 

Miss Marple (2007) s03ep02 Philip Durant

8/10 for the cast (I’m sorry it’s one of first roles for Gugu Mbatha Raw!!!!), but not 10/10 because I didn’t like the ending.  Richard here is jerky and broody and has a comfy sweater in the final scenes so I guess plus to that. 

Moving On (2007) s01ep03

Boring

Robin Hoob (2007-2009) Guy of Gisborne

First of all, I LOVE BBC trashy period pieces era!! the walked so Game of Thrones could run!! 

And Sir Guy....

Dark, broody, bad, dressed in leather... I don’t need to tell you why I like it.

Spooks (seasons 7-9) Lucas North

Genuenly enjoyed the series, again, I like the procedurals genre. 8/10 because I loved first part of Lucas’s arc (spent 8 years in Russian prison, what not to love), hated second part of the arc when they wrote identity thing-y theft, didn’t finish precisely because of that. He died, either way. 8/10.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Heinz Kruger

My boy was in MCU before it got popular!

9/10 to the movie because I like it, -10/10 to Heinz because he’s a Nazi. 

Strike Back (2010) John Porter

One of the genuenly good war series, I think it even got few awards. 10/120 for that scene where he’s being slowly undressed. And for all the other gratuitious nudity on his part. 

The Hobbit trilogy Thorin Oakenshield

AUJ - 10/10, DoS - 8/10, BotFA - 7/10.  My crush on Thorin? 100/10 

Into the Storm (2014) Gary

6/10 and ONLY for Gary/s wet shirt. 

The Crucible (2014) John Proctor

Technically, it’s a play buuuut I got to see it’s recording and it is on his IMBD soooo 12/10, incredible play, absolutely LOVED it, breathtaking, cried at least twice during it. 

Hannibal (2015) Francis Dollarhyde

I had been so excited for him being in Hannibal I actually read the book and watched the first two seasons only to get very dissapointed w/ s3. 7/10 for s3. 

Urban & the Shed Crew (2015 - infinity)

Rip to the movie that was never released except on, like, 3 screenings. 10/10 only for RA’s long hair. 

Alice Through the Looking Glass (2015) King Oleron

I JUST REALISED THAT I ACTYALLY TOOK any allergy meds titled Oleron. Anyhow, 7/10 to the movie. 

Brain on Fire (2016) Sleepwalker (2017) Pilgrimage (2017)

Didn’t watch

Ocean’s 8 Cloud Becker

There’s a scene where RA and Anne Hathaway are making out on the couch and no joke, my bisexual ass didn’t know whom I was more jealous of. 12/10 to the movie because it really is amazing and fun movie. 

Berlicn Station  Daniel Miller

Watched only first 2 seasons so far. 8/10 for the series. Daniel Miller serves many shirtless scenes. 

And many beat up looks. 

The Londge (2019) Richard Hall

5/10. IT’S NOT EVEN A GOOD HORROR MOVIE OKAY. I’ve seen good horrors, my expectations are high, and this one is not one of them!! 

My Zoe (2019) James

4/10. What the FUCK is that. How did they get Gemma Attertone for that part? CLONE BABY. It’s so stupid.  I suppose I could raise rating by 2 points for angsty Richard, but he cancels it out by being a jerk. 

The Stranger (2020) Adam Price

9/10 absolutely recommend. Gripping story, interesting plot, wonderful characters. Gets point off because wasn’t quiet as good as Broadchurch.  11/10 for angsty dad Adam. 

Castlevania Trevor Belmont

15/10 best. There’s no braincell between Alucard, Sypha and Trevor and it’s GLORIOUS. 

[girlbossk]

vector prime thoughts

SO today i finished a book it’s called new jedi order: vector prime and it was real sad which i guess sets the tone for the entire njo ok here we go 

the yuuzhan vong are real weird and their “technology” is kinda creepy like??? a starfish on ur face to breathe???? no thank u. 

they have a. thing that is a snake but also a staff but also a sword which is actually kinda cool and i want one but like, minus the poison spitting part 

also they have sticky sticky goo called blorash jelly and for some reason to me that sounds like it stings but it doesnt. just sticky 

also all their stuff is like. at least semi sentient????? i think???????

also they like removing eyes and replacing them with things like balls of moss. which. okay. 

or with something that looks like an actual eye but is actyally a MOUTH that spits VENOM like ok nom anor we get it ur edgy

on to, like, the actual good things from this book: DANNI QUEE AND JAINA SOLO 

aka the only two valid star wars characters in existence

shout out to my girl tenel ka djo who wasnt in this book and i miss her by the way

anyways that (tenel ka) is neither here (in vector prime) nor there (in dark tide: onslaught, which im starting tomorrow) 

i need to take over the shitty joke job since jacen has STOPPED DOING THAT APPARENTLY 

he’s just pretentious and philosophical now and i don’t like it 

which is why jaina is the BEST bc she just wants to FLY and is real good at it 

anyways i really like jaina solo and she is me 

mara is ALSO me even though she’s not one of my faves and i wasn’t like. super into her story in this book (i did enjoy, just not like. crazy abt it) but shes ME bc shes fighting sickness and. yeah

also when she killed yomin carr that was pretty great especially since she was like stuck to the ground with the jelly or whatever 

um uh DANNI QUEE

scientist who wants none of this shit and just wants to SCIENCE but is like. captured but not tortured bc she is Worthy and stuff and then she escapes (with a lil help from jacen i guess) 

but YEAH shes worthy!!!! shes so GREAT 

i love space scientists and i want her to meet qwi xux bc space science and also???? qwi and quee lmao 

if that doesnt happen i a) riot and b) write the fic 

uhhh other things from this book......

a moon fell on chewbacca and he died and i cried like the entire rest of the book from that scene onward, so like, great

this whole series really will be pain, won’t it 

IM SCARED DANNI IS GONNA DIE because i like her a ton and i don’t know for sure she lives forever the way i know with people like jaina and wedge 

wedge is in the next book and im EXCITED 

i hope kyp durron ISN’T in the next book or any of the others bc he is terrible really and can’t go five seconds without fucking up 

“it has been ____ days since kyp’s last incident” except it’s always at zero 

he should have a moon dropped on him, nom anor PLEASE 

(i know kyp lives forever too and im REAL SAD ABOUT IT)

(when do my faves saba sebatyne and jag fel show up)

(this is a post about vector prime and not the future of njo books so liv shut up)

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