sappyyyy - Tumblr blog

[sappyyyy]

it’s all coming together

[sappyyyy]

Seijun Suzuki

[sappyyyy]

i don't like soup what do you recommend

complete ego death and rebirth

[sappyyyy]

this blog may contain sensitive content (its me im sensitive)

[sappyyyy]

im back >:)

* crickets *

yea wtv but this blod is for me to see how i been progressing with all the shit that's happening in my life ... gotta keep records cu i forget a lot hehe

but yeaaaaa been going to therapy i dont do drogas much just zaza here n there been avoiding family made my circle smaller n i got some goals i wanna reach now .

been getting more into self care n spirituality not in a imma learn abt zodiacs n how to read tarot n join a new religion way but im trying to learn how to let go n trust in my path in life n that we are partnof the universe which makes me think it will automatically take care of us right ?

life's a lil better now is all imma say but i still need to work towards that stability i want like i do take care of my mind n soul but i also need to look after my body cuz i dont wanna worry abt when is my next flare up is going to be cuz that will affect my plans school n social life yk i want my sould to be comfortable in its physical form too n im almost there :D

[sappyyyy]

im sure none of my family members are gonna find this blog but i think my mom secretly hates me.

she isolated me from everyone any significant other i had any friends siblings or family members i am literally alone because she either triggered my OCD til i started doubting the other person n abandoned them not on good terms or she straight up calls them tells them to leave me alone or else she'll be out to get them or she'll shit talk abt me till they start to resent me too .

its been years since i been awaiting to get my surgery done n every time im close to getting scheduled she has a fight with the doctors n they drop my case .

and now she'd be having full blown conversations with my older sister about me in the living room calling me names ect n would tell me if i had a problem with that i can just fuck off out the house .. when i was a kid she'd pack my bags n send me off to my dad's house since they're divorced so she wouldn't have to " deal with me " now she's straight up asking me to leave .

i wish i could things are different where i live i wouldn't even be able to get a job or a place to stay no family members left or friends .

im stuck here in a vicious circle where she verbally and emotionally abuses me then acts all nice n cries abt my condition to people idk what to do tbh i'd leave this place in a blink of an eye if i could but im stuck.

[sappyyyy]

uuuuuum

i might've gotten hospitalized 🤡

[sappyyyy]

i miss it back in 2016 when i thought 58kg was fat

im a whole ass whale now weighting a whopping 71kg( im 163cm ) lmaooooo

i got a new bf of 6months ( we're long distance) and he's a gym rat and everything triggers tf outta me no matter how much he says he loves me in anything i wear or no matter how much i weight but i just can't.

starting today ... i have time till august when im able to see him n i have to look lovely for him.

[sappyyyy]

aaaaaah this shit never ends innit 🥲

I AM BACK ON MY OLD SHIT but healthier this time >:)

( still trying )

[sappyyyy]

scrolling through my own blog like wow this girl has good taste and agrees with me on everything

[sappyyyy]

in my “ whatever tf happens , happens “ era rn.

[sappyyyy]

Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?

i'd go pinch the mf who called me fat when i was 15 .

[sappyyyy]

U ever b like “it is what it is” but deep in ur heart wish shit would b different

[sappyyyy]

Me : drinks coffee = falls asleep

[sappyyyy]

silent girl september… sleepy girl september… solitary girl september…

[sappyyyy]

when lana said ‘there’s things i wanna say to you, but i’ll just let you live’ i felt that

[sappyyyy]

instead of high caloric unhealthy ice cream just get grapes add lemon n sugar n freeze them

its so good !!