#not my best writing but
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
In light of recent events and my brother having a talk in sacrament tomorrow, I was reminded of a talk that I gave last year that focused on diversity and I thought y’all might appreciate it.
There is a story Jesus told about a Jewish man who was severely injured and left on the side of a road. Various travelers saw him and ignored him, including a Jewish priest. Although the injured man was of the same creed as the priest, the priest continued on his way with no regard for his fellow man. Eventually, a Samaritan man walked by. Now, Samaritans and Jews detested one another. The Samaritan’s preexisting bias would dictate that he, upon seeing the man was a Jew, ignore him as the previous travelers had. However, the Samaritan saw the man suffering and decided to help him no matter their personal and cultural differences. The Samaritan did what the other travelers chose not to and demonstrated true caring for one’s neighbors without regard for bias. The parable of the good Samaritan provides a valuable example for us. Would you take time out of your day to help someone in need, even if they belonged to a group of people whom you dislike or disapprove of? Are you willing to sacrifice your prejudice in an effort to help people belong in the church?
Our Heavenly Father loves diversity. When he created the earth, He did not make everything uniform and identical. He made millions of distinctive and unique species, plants, and other incredible creations. From seahorses to raccoons to peregrine falcons, the creatures on this earth are each special. The same goes for people. The assorted characteristics that differentiate us also make us human. Some of us are short, some of us are gay, some like reading, and others can wiggle their ears. God doesn’t love us in spite of our diversity, but because of it. He loves diversity. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have made each one of us one-of-a-kind. He wants all of us to belong and to appreciate that which makes us special, just as He does.
Even within the church there is exceptional diversity. In the talk that I am referencing, The Doctrine of Belonging, Elder D. Todd Christofferson says quote “As the long prophesied latter-day gathering of the Lord’s covenant people gains momentum, the Church will truly be composed of members from every nation, kindred, tongue, and people.” When the church was restored, the first members were all white and of European heritage. But diversity is the natural result of having a widespread group, and as the church became more vast, so did the diversity within it. There are millions of members in this church that are of varying colors, backgrounds, genders, and sexualities. There are members who speak languages from the obscure to the well-known. There are members who have medical and mental health problems and members who speak with a stutter or a lisp. Our differences don’t make us less of God’s children, but some among us will belittle and alienate members who are unlike them. God invites all of his children and all of their diversity to partake in his covenants and return to him. We should follow in His example by loving diversity and striving to make everyone know that they belong in our Savior’s church.
Helping people feel and know that they belong in the church requires everyone to let go of their preconceived notions, judgments, and biases. Each and every one of us has prejudices. We discriminate based on serious things such aswhether or not a person has gone to prison or who someone voted for in an election, and we discriminate based on simple things like what music someone listens to or what type of clothes someone wears. Prejudice is often nothing more than a sweeping generalization that misrepresents a group of people. Within church culture, prejudice is unfortunately common and it is counterproductive to helping people feel like they belong in the kingdom of God. The general handbook for the church states, “Prejudice is not consistent with the revealed word of God. Favor or disfavor with God depends on devotion to Him and His commandments, not on the color of a person’s skin or other attributes. The Church calls on all people to abandon attitudes and actions of prejudice toward any group or individual.” When we are prejudiced against a person, we have a mental block that prevents us from helping that child of God feel like they belong. Prejudice gives way to unjustified judgment, which in turn can lead to members of the church feeling out of place in the one setting where they should feel completely at ease.
Everyone in this room, including myself, judges people. We judge people for how they dress when they attend church, how many children they have, how short or long their hair is, or how eloquently they speak, among other things. We may keep our judgment to ourselves, speak it behind someone’s back, or even tell it to their face. Elder Christofferson remarked on this, saying, quote “We may unwittingly impose expectations on others – or even ourselves – that are not the Lord’s expectations. We may communicate in subtle ways that the worth of a soul is based on certain achievements or callings”. In what subtle – or not so subtle- ways do you convey your judgments? When someone who does something you disapprove of walks into a room do you turn your body away from them and avoid including them?
As often as we may cast judgment upon others, it is not our place to do so. Judging our brothers and sisters both within these walls and outside them only splits the kingdom of God. We all sin and we all sin differently. There is a saying: Don’t judge others because they choose to sin differently than you do. Who are we to judge the sins of others? Just because we have opinions on proper etiquette, behavior, and beliefs it doesn’t mean that it is our place to enforce them. They remain opinions only. We will not always know all the details about a situation. We don’t know the circumstances surrounding why a couple has no children. We don’t know if the brother who doesn’t make eye contact has autism or another disorder that makes eye contact difficult. We don’t know what may have happened behind closed doors before a divorce. We don’t know if the sister who uses her phone during class needs to use it to be able to focus. Judging our neighbors can, and frequently does, drive our beloved brothers and sisters away from the church, whereas loving our neighbors as Jesus loves us will help them to know that they belong here with us.
Elder Christofferson also stated, quote, “It is a sad irony when someone, feeling he or she doesn’t meet the ideal in all aspects of life, concludes that he or she doesn’t belong in the very organization designed by God to help us progress toward the ideal”. Perfection does not happen in this life, and yet in church culture we often make it seem as if perfection is a prerequisite for salvation.Such an unreasonable expectation creates an unnecessary divide in the church. We do not have to do certain things to belong in this church. Every single person on this earth belongs in Heavenly Father’s kingdom, no matter their past sins, current situations, and future mistakes.
There are things that people believe are “required” to be a worthy disciple. Regarding the passing of the sacrament, some hold the belief that every young man must be clean shaven, devoid of jewlery, have short hair, and wear a white shirt and tie. The Lord, however has made it a simple act of reverence and service, with the only requirement being that, “Those who administer the sacrament should be well groomed and clean. They should not wear clothing or jewelry that might detract from the worship and covenant making that are the purpose of the sacrament.” This is an example of a church culture misconception and is only one of many others which are geared towards being perfect in this life. Every worthy and able young man has been asked to prepare for and serve a mission. However, serving a mission is not a requirement to hold the priesthood and to serve the Lord throughout their lives. We have been given free agency, and it is not our place to judge when an individual chooses not to serve a mission or when a missionary returns home early. Some members cannot fathom saying no to a calling even if they know that their personal circumstances would clearly be incompatible with the calling at that time. How are our sisters and brothers within the church supposed to know that they belong when we make them feel like they have to be this picture-perfect human being?
If we want to gather Israel, we cannot only minister to those whom we feel comfortable with. Our baptismal covenants did not say to “Bear our friends’ burdens and only our friends' burdens; mourn with only those whom we feel comfortable with; comfort only those whom we like.” They said to, “bear other’s burdens, that they may be light, mourn with those that mourn; and comfort those in need of comfort.” The language in our baptismal covenants does not exclude any of God’s children, so why do we?
When you see someone who doesn’t seem to be included, make a point to talk to them. If a brother or sister stops attending church, reach out to them. Show those around you that they belong, even if it means that you have to step out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to be a voice for others when there’s an untoward joke or when someone is being talked about behind their back. Love those in need of love, even those nobody spares a glance for. Be like our Savior in all that you do, and you will show those around you how much they belong.
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
worried that thing you put in your art or writing or game or music is too self-indulgent, too self-referential, too niche for anyone but yourself? fear not! you can do whatever you want forever. and you should.
#writing#art#music#games#things i have to remind myself of daily#anyway ive found those things you're worried about sharing are often the most powerful things you CAN share#i hope you write#<- i would like to replace that tag with something that is less conversational#it makes reblogs awkward#anyway good morning. i have so many things to do today but instead i am crafting a memorial to my partner's best friend in my fanfiction.
44K notes
·
View notes
Text
your personal space has never really truly been yours since you’ve started dating him. his muscled arm around your waist when you wake up in the morning, has become as familiar as the sunrise itself. it used to be cute, his warmth a cozy start to the day. but now, it's suffocating, like he can't bear to let you go, even in his sleep.
you shift carefully under his weight, not wanting to disturb his sleep. his breath keeping its steady rhythm against your neck, and you wonder if he dreams of you as you lean in to kiss his forehead gently. he smiles in his sleep, a small, contented expression that almost makes you want to slip right back into his arms.
the sheets rustle softly as you slip out from his grip. you slowly tiptoe across your shared bedroom, craving the simple pleasure of being able to enjoy making coffee alone. the smell of freshly ground beans fills the kitchen, and you lean against the counter, enjoying the quiet morning.
but as your coffee brews, a twinge of guilt creeps in and you can almost imagine when he'll wake up and wonder where you've gone. despite enjoying the well needed alone time, you knew the longing to be close to him will pull you back into his embrace sooner than you'd planned. almost as if in complete sync with your thoughts, you hear a mumble approaching the kitchen, and then his voice, thick with sleep, calling out softly,
"angel cmon back to bed with me, you know i don’t like sleeping without you"
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gojo, nanami, bakugou, iwaizumi hajime (27) althetic trainer, oikawa, kuroo, geto, choso, yuji, midoriya
#i kinda love the domesticity in this 🫨🫨#i love clingy sleepy boys SEDATE MEE#def not my best work but i still wanted to write a lil smth#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x reader#geto x reader#geto suguru x reader#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#haikyuu x reader#iwaizumi x reader#kuroo x reader#haikyuu fluff#bnha fluff#mha fluff#choso x reader#yuji x reader#midoriya x reader#nanami x reader
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.
Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.
Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.
Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.
I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.
He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).
First, we get this:
Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.
They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.
It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.
We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.
What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?
He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.
In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.
Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!
...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.
Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.
And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.
I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.
And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.
Meals are the privilege of the living.
#Dungeon Meshi#Delicious in Dungeon#Kabru#Kabru of Utaya#Laios Touden#Dungeon Meshi meta#you can have him in the tags too. as a treat.#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply#this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps#I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate#but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know#also I included image descriptions! I did my best#I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys#musings with Dea
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
he won
bonus:
#oi oi don’t steal my tags i see u 🫵#svsss#mdzs#moshang#hualian#bingqiu#sqq u spoilt brat#binghe is def the best cook out of the three gongs i’m not saying this lightly#we know lwj can cook from the extras and i can only assume hc can cook bc the only thing he CANT do is write BUT:#xl enjoys cooking so ofc hc is gonna let him express himself culinarily#and wwx is a spice fanatic weirdo who wants to go live his m!lf dreams into the sunset#lwj will not get in the way of that#sqq however is perfectly content having bingmei cook his meals forever and never stepping into a kitchen#scum villian self saving system#scum villain#mo dao zu shi#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#wangxian#mine#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#wei wuxian#lan wangji#xie lian#hua cheng#shang qinghua#mobei jun
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.
personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.
if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.
now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.
there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.
#psychiatric abolition#before ppl come for my throat#know that i was prof dx'd with bpd + ocpd + both of those dx's were used to neglect + abuse me#but the doctors kindly reminded me not to Stigmatize Myself :) it's Okay To Have Noncompliant Brat Disease Charlie <3#but anyway we will be withdrawing care + writing about u being manipulative for advocating for yourself#but that's Not Your Fault :) You Have A Disease#these were doctors at some of the best hospitals in the country so do with that what u will#not to mention the pathologization of trauma inherent to this but anywayyy#this post brought to you by buy one get one free monster energy
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
"Days will pass, and you'll abandon things you were addicted to, and leave someone, and cancel a dream, and finally, accept a reality."
– Nizar Qabbani
#and finally accept a reality#act like I didn't forget this account plss hahah#will try my best to post here more#dark academia#light academia#excerpts#fragments#poetry#words#spilled writing#poets and writers
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
ᝰ VIP ROOM !
✶ 𓏲ּ ꩜ 𓂅 the penacony grand theater cordially invites you to V.I.P. room 2 this friday evening for a musical!
CW; fem! reader x penacony men (separated), vaginal penetration, fingering, slight degradation & voyeurism, vibrator, bondage, ‘daddy’ (only for gallagher)
𐙚 AVENTURINE
your gasps ring in his ears as he slides one of your leg onto his lap, spreading you apart effortlessly. his grip on your thigh is tight and steady, clearly having no intention of letting you go anytime soon.
snuggled next to him on the sofa, you feel his arm draped around you, holding both your wrists together, and smirking when you squirm to reach for your dress.
your eyes dart to his face, observing his furrowed brows and the angry smirk as he stares back into your eyes, clear jealousy written in those colourful irises. he leans in close, lips just inches apart from yours, and you feel his breathing turn erratic as his eyes darken, "you love teasing me, don't you?"
"I was just saying hi to an old friend..."
"did you not see the way he looked at you?"
your head shakes cautiously, nails digging softly into your own skin, "m' sorry." aventurine pecks you on your lips, the glossy lipstick staining his own in the process.
another whimper sounds as his gloved fingers slide under your thighs, the soft pads of his black gloves resting snugly against your clothed, pulsing nub. his smirk reappears when the wetness soaks through your panties and onto his gloves, soft squelching sounds reverberate in the VIP room.
your head falls against his shoulder, wrists still bound by his hand, legs spread and trembling on his lap. your boyfriend teases at your earlobes, nipping at the tender skin, sending shivers down your spine with each bite.
his deft fingers slides under your panties, and you hear him chuckle into your ear at how drenched you are for him, making it so easy for his two fingers to slip right into your warm hole.
"who do you belong to, hmm?"
he releases your wrists, the now free hand reaching up to your throat, pulling you closer to his face again.
"—you."
"good girl."
the air gets knocked out of your chest as he pushes you onto the sofa, his fingers still pumping and curling in your pussy harshly, his pace only increasing with each cry of his name you let out.
an embarrassing squelch sounds as he removes them, and you whine at the empty feeling inside you, the ring of muscle clenching at nothing as your hands reach for his nape.
"please— need you so bad..." a satisfied hum leaves him as he leans down to kiss your forehead, pushing his fingers in again without warning at the same time. your legs tense, and your toes curl, a loud moan escaping you, only to get muffled by him stuffing your dress into your mouth.
"all of this," his lips latch onto your neck as they suckle on the sensitive spots, "is for me," littering them with beautiful hickeys that he'll admire later on, "and me only." the musical on stage turning into background noise.
𐙚 BOOTHILL
boothill grunts into your dripping pussy as your fingers pull on the roots of his hair, tugging both away and towards your core, uncertain if you want more or to escape this torment.
"stay still, sweetheart."
a soft "can't—" escapes you, making him cock an eyebrow, his mouth never stopping, licking and sucking at your puffy clit. the silent command from his eyes has you tensing your thighs as his grip tightens, and you're sure his metal fingers will leave marks there tomorrow.
moans of his name fill the room as he frees on hand to slide under your dress and up to your chest, the cool metal wrapping around your boob comfortably. your body shrinks as he plays with the soft bundle of nerves, thumb and pointer finger pinching at your nipple occasionally, making your pussy clench.
his eyes roll to the back of his head the moment his tongue dips into your warm core, your juices and gummy walls sending his engine into overdrive. you swear if he were in a cartoon, there'd be smoke coming out of his back right now.
"pretty girl tastes so (fucking) good." hums when your legs clench around his head, "all this, just for me."
your eyes water as you come undone on his tongue. the sound of fans whirring before you drags you back to reality as he stands, flipping you around so that you're kneeling on the sofa with your hands on the backrest.
whines leave you as he flips your dress up and tears your panties easily. the familiar feeling of cool metal dick has you lying limp on the backrest, your hips involuntarily grinding back against him.
"eager, aren't we?"
muffled whimpers sound from you as you bury your face into the cushions, knowing that you'll be making extremely embarrassing sounds the moment he enters you.
a loud groan escapes boothill as he slides into you, the cool, hard metal of his dick a clear contrast to your soft, warm, and inviting walls, wrapping around him like a vice.
his hand slips around your mouth to cover up your obscene sounds as he pounds into you, unable to contain his hunger any longer. you're now locked in a position that allows him to manhandle and control you easily, body fully limp and putty in his arms, just the way he likes.
𐙚 DR. RATIO
a small smile adorns your lips as you stare straight ahead, looking out at the balcony and onto the stage where the musical is happening, clearly avoiding eye contact with your boyfriend who's burning holes through your head.
your hand inches up his thigh, nails scraping slightly with each movement, your own legs clench whenever you feel his muscles tense beneath the pads of your fingers.
an audible sigh could be heard from him when you palm him through his pants, a clear bulge forming under your hand, making your smile bigger. "someone's excited."
"shut up."
you giggle softly as your fingers wrap around the bulge, while your pointer finger draws slow circles on his clothed tip, a dark spot forming slowly on his pants from his arousal.
you yelp suddenly when you feel yourself stand and be placed into a forceful position. your elbows scrape on the table beneath you as you trying your best to stand steady on your legs all the while looking over your shoulder, a teasing smile on your face.
"what? can't take it already?"
ratio's eyes narrow at your comment before pushing down on the small of your back, making your body press harder onto the cold table surface.
something changes in the air when he huffs a laugh, his hands now gripping at your hips, holding you in place as he starts dry humping against you. he leans down, caging you beneath him as he slides one knee between your legs, and you know, you're in danger.
you squirm in his hold, hips inching forward, digging into the edge of the table, trying your best to run away, your fight or flight kicking in, knowing he isn't going to go easy on you for teasing him.
he pulls you back harshly, so hard you stumble back into his chest. "where do you think you're going?" this wipes the smirk off your face.
you shudder when he kisses down your nape to your shoulder blades, and all you could do was hold your breath, praying that he's not going to be too rough on you as punishment.
you could feel the smugness from the man behind you as he pulls himself out and slides into your panties, coating himself with your wetness, the tip sliding against your clit with each thrust.
now you're the one biting back moans, hands reaching backward to claw at his wrists, an indication that you want him to fuck you. ratio chuckles at your feeble attempt to command him, and he leans down again, this time nearer to your ear, never stopping his movements, sliding against your folds harshly.
"this is for fucking with me when you know you can't handle my teasing."
𐙚 GALLAGHER
as the curtains shut behind the two of you, you trip down the steps, pulling gallagher by his tie. your heels coming off with each step towards the display shelf at the side of the VIP room.
your grip on him strong, like a leash, leading the man before you to collide against your soft body as you lean on the shelf. one strap of your dress slips down your shoulder, a testament to your impatience to feel him against you.
gallagher's hands land on either side of your head, trapping you between the shelf and his body. the sheer size of this man completely envelops you, providing cover if anyone were to look for you behind him.
a giggle escapes you as he kisses your jaw and down to your collarbone. "couldn't wait till we got home?"
your head shakes as you bit your lower lip softly, head tilting upwards, silently inviting him to kiss you. he ignores your request, choosing instead to plant a sweet kiss on your forehead as he runs his hands along the curves of your body, eventually resting on your waist and hip.
you whine when he doesn't kiss you where you want him too, "just wanna feel you, daddy. please?" his smug smile widens at your plea before he pulls your lower body against his own, his bulge resting comfortably on your lower stomach.
"keep it down, okay? they're still out there."
you nod, and a soft " good girl" from him weakens your knees as you relax against his hold, allowing his hands to bunch your dress upwards, freeing himself from his restraints.
your gasps are swallowed by his hot mouth against yours, his thrusts slow and deliberate. your toes dig into the carpeted floor beneath you at the stretch. everything feels heightened knowing that the attendants outside the room could intrude any second and see this filthy scene adds to the pleasure.
gallagher pulls back, panting softly as he angles himself to your g-spot, only to kiss you harshly again, muffling your moans with his tongue. the mind-numbing sensations has you cumming around him almost instantly. you fall limp against him, but he doesn't give you a chance to rest, before propping you up and wrapping your legs around his waist, pounding into you roughly, chasing his own high this time.
"filthy little girl, moaning my name like that. you want them to catch us, don't you?"
𐙚 SUNDAY
a clear look of fear appears in your eyes as your back hits the wall next to the balcony, knowing you have nowhere else to run from the man standing before you.
sunday smiles as he approaches you, his hands reaching for the rope that controls the curtains' movements. "what're you planning to do with that?" the shakiness in your voice betrays you as you try to feign confidence, tilting your chin up slightly as your last resort to prove that you're not scared.
with a flourish, sunday twirls the golden rope in his gloved hands before yanking on it sharply, swiftly closing the balcony curtain. the dimly lit room takes on a more intimate aura as he reaches for your wrists, brushing his lips against them softly like a gentleman, although his eyes betray a predatory gleam that sends your knees weak.
"tug on it, and the whole grand theater will see you."
confusion flickers across your face at his warning, until you feel the bind of your wrists by the very rope he held.
drawing you closer by your waist, sunday twirls you around to face the deep red curtains as he slips his hand under your dress, inserting something cool into your heated core. a soft buzz sounds between your legs, causing you to instinctively lurch forward.
"sunday—!"
he silences your protest with a soft shush, his hands teasing your chest and clit while his hot mouth leaves hickeys on your neck. your arms remained raised slightly, fighting the urge to tug on the rope, knowing the consequences if the curtains do part.
soft cries leave your trembling lips as he increases the speed with a click of the remote in his pocket. leaning back against him, your body surrender fully, giving him full access to your body.
#sorry if there’s ooc :(#or if one character has longer / shorter writing :(#i tried my best#🀥 lan’s writings!#honkai star rail#hsr smut#honkai star rail smut#aventurine#aventurine x reader#aventurine smut#boothill#boothill x reader#boothill smut#dr ratio#veritas ratio#dr ratio x reader#veritas ratio x reader#dr ratio smut#veritas ratio smut#gallagher#gallagher x reader#gallagher smut#sunday#sunday x reader#sunday smut
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
my group chats on private MMO servers
#fue un evento canonico :v re mamu la ryo#oh.. this was a random post putting some toughts and anecdotes on the tags but it ended up getting notes lol#i used to love talking to people from other countries using their actual languages i thought it was the coolest thing when i was a kid#on a mt2 server i remember a italian asking me to talk to him in spanish he was trying to learn he also was trying to write in spanish with#some italian words on his setences#also in metin35 i tried to write in tr and ro multiple times since everyone was turkish or romanian#pandawow folks trying to talk to me on 30 different languages just to invite me to their 3v3 party#oh garena phinoys....#the best case of this was my rotmg guild but that wasnt a priv server#the regionalization of servers took these moments away from many...#clips i collect#video
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
COMING OVER TO YOUR PLACE !
[w/ toji, gojo, geto, yuki, shoko, shiu, choso, nanami, sukuna]
implied that this is their first time visiting your place but i got a little sidetracked on a couple of them <3
a/n: i get so so stressed when people come to visit :((
#jjk x reader#jjk smau#toji x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#yuki x reader#shoko x reader#shiu x reader#choso x reader#nanami x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk fluff#shiu kong x reader#tsukumo yuki x reader#jjk x y/n#— alathea writes#eeek these don't feel like my best but i like them all the same
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
This started as a shitpost and then I just kept going anyway AU where Floyd eventually forgives Veneer and they end up becoming besties a few years down the line and have girls nights ugh [NOT SHIP ART!!!] aaand Bonus doodle of when they take the curlers out or some shit dont look at me man
#floyd was convinced his hair was gonna look stupid with curls but hes a believer now#this is so stupid im sorry guys#can you tell i had fun writing the dialogue#trolls#trolls band together#floyd trolls#veneer trolls#im so tired i stayed up all night making this#veneer and his senior citizen best friend#my art
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
⋆⁺₊❅⋆ 𐙚 ₊˚ warnings ꒱ྀི minor pregnancy and daddy kink. breeding. sasuke being kinda mean :p ノ wc ꒱ 1.1k ノ 18+
“noisy woman .”
he’s grumbling and muttering under his breath in annoyance. other than the meeting of sweat-slicken skin, there’s your pitiful cries that make his cock twitch regrettably. you’re pretty — far too cute of a shinobi even at your sloppiest.
a sibilant sound gets wrangled from his mouth at the subtle squeeze of your wet cunt, disrupting the steady momentum of his hips.
“shit.”
sasuke breathes out huffs of hot air, goosebumps rising on your heated skin. your mind is hazy, full of the thought of his thighs pressing stickily against your ass.
his strong hands plant themselves behind your knees, pushing them on either sides of your head.
“hnn— sasukeeeeeee.”
your eyes cross and your vision blurs. the sight sends blood straight to his throbbing sac, throwing the shinobi off. he staggers, causing his to cock slip out of your wet cunt and you cry at the emptiness. 
“n-nooo.”
your sharp pink nails dig into his skin, desperate to feel more of him.
he sucks his teeth. “would you calm down ?”
he pulls your hand away, and you let it fall against your forehead. your chest raises in anticipation, sweat dripping down the slopes of your breasts. he lines his fat head with your pussy, but god, your folds . . . they’re thick and fat, covering the very hole that he needs to bury himself in.
a trail of spit splats against your center. he couldn’t help it. your pussy is already doused in his cream and your sparkly arousal, but watching the spit drip down your opening ignited a fire in him.
sasuke’s left thumb pulls your lips apart, and his other hand firmly grips his cock. he rubs his heated member against your center before promptly sheathing himself inside.
“ s-sasukeee, y’r gnna hnnh—break me !”
he groans, doubling over from the intrusion.
“shut it.”
it feels like hours has passed the way he’s been mounting you. his cock is digging out your insides, his body caging you against the bed when his spend shoots out, but he’s not done — far from it.
“m’sorry . . . but you’re so big.”
and you’re fucking cute.
you were carefully done up so prettily. ribbons woven in your pigtails, konoha headband around the cinch of your waist, but those were long gone. one pigtail loosened, your makeup smeared, and clothes exposing your tits and cunt.
sasuke isn’t one to fawn over things like looks, he’s much more practical than that, but your beauty itself is a weapon. if he wasn’t careful, you’d puncture him.
you admire his lithe build, and it amazes you that despite being so slender, his cock was able to stretch your cunt until it burned. he re-adjusts the hand behind your knee. the other grabs the side of your ass, lifting you up and down his fat cock.
his strength still takes you aback. the thrusts were too much. your pussy was thoroughly ruined. you slowly begin to use your elbows to clamor away from the uchiha, but he grabs you tighter.
“don’t run from it.”
he’s never particularly talkative. only when he gets competitive and even then, he’d rather let his actions speak for themselves. but now, he can’t stop himself from provoking you. you were easy to rile up.
his hands on your hips slide down to grip the softness of your ass again to tug you back on his cock. your pussy makes an audible squelch when it collides against the base of his pelvis.
“what happened to all that talk earlier, hm ?” he eyes your lewd body, and god , maybe he can understand why jiraiya started waxing poetics about pretty girls.
pretty girls with pretty mouths and pretty holes to breed. he tugs at a puffy nipple, eager to put it in his mouth.
“‘I'm a big girl I can take it.’ that’s what you said, right? so show me. show me how big girls take it.”
you sniffle at the snark in his tone and condescension, but the trail of his warm tongue tracing the lines of your neck softens you.
“y’r mean sasuke.”
“and you’re a brat.”
he kisses you square on the lips, stuffing his tongue in your mouth. his thumb twirls around your clit, drawing precise patterns.
“am I still mean?”
you mewl from the redundant stroke on your achy bud .
“ a buh-big fat meanie.”
he gives one of his charming smirks that borders on a sly smile.
“but you like it. . . and you love me, which is why you said you help me, right ?”
he grabs his cock by the thickest part to pull out. he wipes his meaty tip on your sloppy mound before forcing himself back in. your walls squeeze around his girth, desperate to be full once more.
“'said you’d help me restore my clan.”
his palms pressed down on your belly, right where his cock reached. he’s stimulating all your sensitive spots, and you can barely put words together.
“god — you-you’re so . .”
he spanks your cunt and a pathetic stream of arousal escapes audibly.
he chuckles. “noisy mouth and an even noisier pussy . how cute.”
your knees want to close and push him away from you, but he doesn’t move . like an animal, he keeps you pinned down, and like prey, you can't break free from his grasp. only instead of sinking his claws into you, he sinks his cock deeper, pressing up against your womb.
“squeezing me so tightly. you must want it so bad.” he’s flushed against you, resting all his weight to keep you in place.
“want me to make you a uchiha ? my little wife ?"
“hiccup—p-please.”
“please what ?”
you whine, “make me yours.”
your legs connect at hips, pushing him further into you. he grunts, “so shameless . . . a filthy woman.”
you’re embarrassed. tears wells up in your eyes, and you look at him with adoration, even as he talks so recklessly.
“keep staring at me like that. m’ gonna breed this fat cunt all night.”
he gives you another messy kiss and there’s a surge of happiness when he matches your eagerness. he poured everything into it, tongue lapping at your lips and swallowing your precious moans.
“wan’ to make you a daddy , sasuke,” you whisper.
and he nearly bottoms out. “f-fuck.”
you reach down to grab your breast that jumps with every thrust, pulling on a pert nipple.
“gonna fuck you until my seed takes. until your tits get fat with milk.”
sasuke's on the brink of a rush . though he pursued a life of darkness and revenge, he buried that angst long ago. still, he never thought he’d live to think about things like women and starting families of his own, and now he was here making it a reality.
his mind is plagued with the images of children, a fruitful clan and the swell of your stomach.
he delivers more plunges, fat balls slapping against your seam until they throb. he expels with a sudden start, releasing inside you for the umpteenth that night.
he presses you flushed against him, determined to have nothing escape, not even a drop. he wanted to be sure that you’d be true to your word. you’d be his little wife, free to use and knock up.
sasuke rubs your belly, eyes gleaming red from the numbing intensity. he takes greedy gulps of air watching as you’re stricken with complete lust.
his name falls from your lips like a spell and there’s the familiar burn of desire swirling in his abdomen.
“one more time.”
#૮꒰ ๑´ତ `๑ ꒱ྀིა#not my best wrk butttttt I’m jus happi 2 write abt my first anime crush evr !!!#sasuke x reader#sasuke x reader smut#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke uchiha x reader smut#sasuke x you#sasuke x y/n#sasuke smut#naruto shippuden smut#naruto smut
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
@somegrumpynerd :3c Cross getting his first toy ever
I think it's the kind of thing he brings everywhere cuz it's his comfort item.. and he's never had a comfort item before
#This might be very ooc cause i'm just not good at writing characters??#I'm not the best at knowing how characters would act T T#Killer is the one that gave it to him#but really it's Nightmare who had it made#it's a wolf cause of course it is#Idk what he'd name it#probably like thunder or smth#Charlie you can choose the name if you'd like#this took so long bc it was basically four whole drawings lmao#undertale#my art#undertale au#sans au#utmv#pigeon's art stuff#cross sans#cross!sans#xtale cross#pigeon's digital stuff
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Is it gay to address your roommate by her full name while introducing the worst best version of your crush with whom you saved the world and decided to bring home?
#this is the best boyfriend reveal i've ever seen in my life#wade actually asked logan to move in#and logan didn't waste any time after that#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wade wilson#james logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#peanutbub#old man yaoi#imagine your otp#otp prompts#writing promt#marvel memes#mcu avengers edits#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#deadpool x wolverine#mischievous thunder
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
More of Stanley's sketchbook because he makes me sick /pos
(Just imagine he was looking in a mirror at the subway to draw this anshfhwj. The london bus ticket is unrelated, it's just a random knick knack he had lying around<3)
People weren't the only ones Stan met on the streets.
------
+ this is an absolute fucking batshit WILD oneshot I initially wrote for these drawings that got WAY out of hand, if you feel like reading that.
The oneshot below is a stand-alone now, and in no way is related to the drawings above, but I just wanted to show you guys because Jesus Christ
------
Winter of 1981, at a subway station Stan doesn't remember the name of-
The sorry excuse of a transport system that this hellhole of a city called a functioning subway was hardly anyone's first choice of a warm place to stay the night. And yet, here Stanley was; standing like an idiot in the middle of a small bustling stairwell that led down to the full screeching chaos of a train stop on a Tuesday evening. A rowdy crowd of exhausted office workers streamed out like a tidal wave from the entrance of the station, the bustle of their footsteps all too eager to go home and relax after a long day of work.
The faint, stuffy stench of old piss and sweat followed the crowd to the surface from the deep depths of a less than sanitary and overcrowded train station. The pungent smell intermingled with the crisp stinging winter air in a cocktail of shitty city gloom often associated with this time of the year; when the holidays were too far away and the sun seemed to come and go with practically the same 9 to 5 schedule as the workers had, leaving them going to work in the pitch dark and coming back out in the inky black as well.
He might have looked like he belonged there, depending on how one would want to look at it. He stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the sea of prim, pressed suits and neart uniforms. His ratty old jacket and generally unwashed appearance certainly didn’t help his case, but he also knew that stations like these also tended to shelter quite a number of homeless wanderers like him, especially during the winter. So, it wasn't exactly uncommon to see other sore thumbs seeking reprieve from the biting cold and the dangerous likelihood of frostbite from within the enclosed walls of the subway station.
Heck, if most of these underground kingdoms didn't also happen to be a breeding ground for several illicit activities, he might even have followed their lead. But, believe it or not, Stanley's already had enough experience with illegal activities to last him a last time, and he isn't looking for a new fill. He was satisfied with what meager shelter his trusty car offered him, as little a difference it might make in terms of safety.
Stanley's obstruction of the already narrow stairs with his loitering went unappreciated, as shoulders roughly shoved past him and swinging briefcases repeatedly bumped into his sides, usually coupled with a nasty glare and a snide comment or two. He paid them no mind, however. He wasn't here to start a fight with some random bum with a dead end job, as much as he thought it would probably do them both some good to duke their stresses out on one another.
The hours ticked by with wave after wave of new crowds being dropped off by a train and left to pour out of the station into the streets. By the time the streetlights turned on and the pale pink in the sky slowly faded to make way for the stark glittery black of the night sky, the tide of people had slowed to a trickle and rush hour was long since over. He was now the stairs’ sole occupier, with a few occasional stragglers stumbling up the steps and hurrying past him without a second glance.
Stanley did not move from his spot, however. He stood resolutely in the middle of the stairway, fervently rubbing his arms and stamping his feet in a futile attempt to try and regain feeling in his extremities as he waited. Rocking on his heels, he titled his head backwards to let his eyes roam the constellations that carpeted the endless expanse of the sky stretched out above his head, almost losing himself in the scintillating canvas of stars.
It reminded him of old times; of the sparkling beach sand twinkling in the dim moonlight, and the soft sound of lilting waves hovering in the background as he lay back on the cold wooden deck of his ship and watched the stars dance.
He still remembered every name his brother had once recited to him time and time again as he pointed out each star and galaxy from the night sky.
Then, like clockwork, he was broken out of his reveries by a telltale meow coming from below. The sound was a familiar blanket that immediately melted away the tension that had begun to build in his chest as he practically sagged with relief.
His body moved almost automatically as he leaned down to detach the frail tabby cat that was attempting to literally fuse with his legs, purring up a storm and rubbing her head against his pants as though her life depended on it. The cat gave a soft chirrup of dissatisfaction at being manhandled, which Stanley absentmindedly replied with a chiding click of his tongue as he lifted her up his chest and gently tucked her into his jacket in a practiced motion.
She thankfully remained blissfully limp in his grasp as he shifted around some more so that she was nestled comfortably inside the dark pocket of warmth inside his ratty jacket. The tiny warm lump that rumbled contently against his front radiated with heat, and his fingers finally began to feel like actual fingers rather than useless stiff frigid lumps of meat and bone attached to his palms.
A pointed cough startled him from his clumsy wriggling to get the cat to settle down. An oddly familiar security guard stood at the entrance of the station at the bottom of the stairs, leveling Stanley an unimpressed look with the metal gate in his grip already halfway closed, ready to seal the subway for the night. He must have been a comical sight; caught awkwardly bent over while trying to get his newly acquired cat to stop kneading biscuits on his stomach, with said cat peeking out from the gap between his collars.
Stanley faintly recognized the guard. He was a much older man, with a shock of thinning white hair neatly tucked underneath a dark blue cap and a strange depth in his eyes that reminded Stanley of the sea; with countless unspoken truths lurking far beneath the surface, but no less grand and knowing of all that the universe had to offer, as though he had already lived a thousand lives before this one.
He had seen the man around before, at another station, doing the opposite of his job by ushering stray buskers and homeless stragglers from the streets and into the (relatively) safe walls of the subway, instead of doing what any other law-abiding security guard would do and kick them out into the elements. He wasn't sure what the older man was doing here, of all places, since all the previous stations he'd seen the man at had been several states over, practically on the other side of the country.
A brief spark of panic shot through his spine at the thought that this man could be following him, but he quickly discarded the ridiculous notion as soon as it entered his mind. He had never even seen him before, and hardly ever even interacted with him; there was no reason for there to be any sort of bad blood between them. Unless he happened to be related to one of Stanley's many, many enemies, then perhaps his fear was a little warranted.
However, the old guard made no move to attack or do anything other than stare judgmentally, almost expectantly. For the first time in a long time, Stanley felt like a child being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. He tried his best to keep his uncomfortable squirming to a minimum under the unrelenting gaze, stubbornly returning the man's gaze with his own wary glare. His cat’s muffled whining came from inside his jacket. The traitor, she was leaving him to deal with the old man on his own.
With an exasperated jerk of his head, the security guard gestured towards the inside of the station. For a moment, Stanley stared dumbly, uncomprehending of what the old man could possibly want from him. Rolling his eyes, this time the man gestured more insistently at the small gap that still remained between the metal gate and the entrance, his arm sweeping the air in a low arc as he dramatically urged Stanley inside. Suddenly, it clicked, and Stanley shook his head.
“I have a car,” he said plainly, his voice echoing loudly in the desolate silence of the winter night that surrounded the unlikely pair.
He wasn't sure why he was so nervous, it wasn't as though he was lying. He did have a car, his trusty Stanley-mobile was parked safely away in the corner of an unassuming alley that wasn't often frequented by anyone. There was no way he was reaching it tonight, though; it was practically on the other side of the city, much too far away for him to arrive at a reasonable time. His nightly excursions to meet his small friend unfortunately left him with no other choice than to leave his car behind, the hunk of metal far too unwieldy and noticeable to drive around openly on the streets. He never knew who could be watching, after all.
He had simply been hoping to find himself a dark corner to tuck himself into with his cat, just for the night, but it seemed as though the universe had other plans. Or rather, this strange old man had other plans.
Although, if Stanley thought about it, the subway wasn't such a bad suggestion. This was one of the safer stations in the city; and with the rich neighborhoods being so close by, no rogue criminal or dealers dared to come near this area unless they wanted to be slapped with a hefty fine or face a higher potential to be arrested. And of course, there was the obvious shelter from the unrelenting cold that now seemed to permeate his bones, even with the purring warmth that was nestled inside his jacket.
So, that was how he found himself hunkering down for the night inside a shabby old subway station, with a satisfied cat still rumbling away against his chest and a strange old security guard locking down the gates behind him. The man said nothing as he hooked his keys back onto his belt and gave a firm pat on Stanley's shoulders as he walked past him, pausing to scratch his cat behind her ears before moving away. His footsteps bounced off of the grimy tiled walls with an odd reverb as he turned a corner.
“You'll be safe in here,” the man said, voice sage and gravelly. The words had a weight to them, and seemed to hang in the air with such a presence it was as though the old man had never even left his side.
The subway was empty, quiet. It was such a stark contrast to the loud rowdiness of the rush hour crowd these halls once held. Stanley hadn't yet registered the utter silence of the station as he aimlessly made his way down the winding, deserted halls of the ancient station. He mindlessly walked past the aged and peeling advertising posters plastered on the walls, his nose becoming accustomed to the stinging stench of the subway. The quiet seemed to swallow the sound of his steps as he explored the branching paths and endless tunnels. They were almost kaleidoscopic, dizzying, nonsensical. There were doors where there shouldn't be, and deadends where it didn't make sense.
The silence only began to truly settle in his bones the more he walked. He suddenly wished that he would head the telltale footsteps of the old security guard again, just to hear another sign of life in this underground hellscape other than himself. The ghostly memories of screeching trains and bustling crowds haunted the halls; now, only nothingness reigned supreme. He glanced down at his small feline companion, who slumbered away against his chest, blissfully unaware of his jackrabbiting heartbeat threatening to burst out of his ribs. The silence seemed to permeate every inch of space and crush the air out of his lungs. He couldn't breathe.
Stanley’s steps grew faster, more frantic as the walls and ceilings seemed to close in on him. They grew smaller, tighter; squeezing, trapping. He hardly even registered his cat's complaints as she was jostled around in his grasp, breaking into a full out run. His breathing sounded loud, too loud, and the world was collapsing around him.
When he finally broke out into a large, open platform, he could finally breathe again. He had arrived at the tracks, the empty tunnel where the trains would pass an empty, gaping maw in the wall that seemed to swallow all light around it and beckon him closer. He felt his cat wriggle out from within his jacket and hop out with a displeasured yowl, scampering away and disappearing behind a corner much like the old man had. True silence pierced his ears and thrummed like a deafening pressure in his temples. He was alone.
Stanley was stuck in that subway station for years.
#i only have the Paris and Korean subways as frame reference so i have no idea what american subways look like#just imagine the paris subway system- i heavily used it as a reference to draw and write these since it's#the only subway that I know AND looks 1980-ish enough to pass#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls fanfiction#gravity falls au#<-ig???#there are mirrors in subways right- I've seen a lot of curved wall length mirrors at subway stations#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#stanley's sketchbook#tw liminal space#tw horror#<- I mean eh- my horror writing skills is sub par at best#cats#tw scopophobia#tw staring#on the other hand- stanley being friends with street cats!! so cute <33#you can visibly SEE in the fic where I completely lost my grip on the story from 'sweet story about cats' to 'oh my god what the fuck'#my art
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Highlight | J.B.B
Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader
Summary: A single comment takes a toll at your self-confidence, unintentionally pushing bucky away.
Warnings: really fluffy, slight angst (so slight you won't even feel it), implied smut, Sharon (unintentionally) being a bitch, cursing (real brief)
A/N: loosely inspired by a real life event. I do request so please go slide in my asks. that's it. Happy reading!!
Bucky loved you.
Every atom, essence, and fiber of you, he loved. There was nothing about you that could change his perception of you.
He had learned to memorize every inch of you with his eyes closed; Using only his tongue, fingers, and lips. Making a mental map of each dip and curve, every scar and mole, and all of your smile lines and wrinkles. Not only that but also your whole being. He knew you so well that he could tell what you wanted— what you needed before you could even say it. It was like a telepathic connection...
That's why it didn't take him long to figure out that something was wrong.
It was never your intention to make Bucky worry.
It all started with a small comment...
You had just finished showering in the gym shower after your training. Your body was wrapped in a towel that was way too short for your liking. displaying the stretch marks on your outer thighs, making you chew the insides of your cheeks.
And as if it wasn't enough to make you self-conscious, "Woah... That's some marks you've got there y/n..." It was Sharon as she entered the gym shower. Sounding perplexed and repulsed by the sight.
"Yeah.." you said, masking the rising insecurity with a faux chuckle before getting the hell out of there.
You ignored the twisted feeling in your stomach and the lingering embarrassment her words had caused. Brushing it off and pretending like you weren't affected by it. But soon it was eating you up like mites on wood. Nipping and nibbling at the last bits of self-assurance that you have.
It was affecting you so much that you hadn't even noticed that you were starting to distance yourself from Bucky...
Bucky, knowing you better than he knows himself, immediately noticed this. He didn't miss how you'd flinch at his touch. he caught how you'd recoil and pull away whenever he sought a hug or a kiss. It didn't go over his head when you started wearing more layers than just his shirt.
Of course, he was worried... But he pushed the worries away thinking that maybe you were just tired...
Weeks went by, yet you continued to distance yourself from him. He didn't want to think about it too much or ask you about it, afraid that it would only push you further.
So he convinced himself that you just wanted a bit of space. Especially now that you were getting some actual rest since you were jam-packed with missions and meetings the previous month.
It wasn't until last night...
˚‧⁺ ・ ˖ ·˚ ⋆。˚ ˚‧⁺
"Sure, thanks Steve..." You bid Steve goodbye as you got off the elevator, just now getting home from your first mission of the month.
You opened the door with ease, not wanting to make any noise as you entered your shared room with Bucky. Tiptoeing as you entered, concerned that you'd wake him up.
"Hey, doll..." Your whole body jolted as you heard him, his voice sounding hoarse with sleep.
You simply looked in his direction and gave him a lopsided smile,
Just a smile?
"Go to sleep..." You told him as you left him to shower...
He in fact did not go to sleep. He waited for you. Wanting to wrap his arms around you and kiss away your exhaustion from the mission.
"I told you to go to sleep, bucky." he looked in your direction, admiring how adorable you looked in his hoodie and some basic sweatpants.
"How can I?" He shrugged as if it was the most obvious question, "you're not here with me.." he added, extending his arms out for a hug.
You gulped, hesitating for a little while longer. Soon giving in as you saw the expecting look on his face. His slate blue eyes glimmered in the darkness as you walked over to him.
He sighed, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he wrapped his arms around your waist. Burying his face in your clothed stomach as you stood there.
"I missed you," he nuzzled into you more, "so damn much." He said as he finally pulled away, looking up at you with those pretty blue eyes.
He wanted to stay like this with you. He needed to stay like this with you...
The pad of his fingers dug into your hips as his grip tightened, pulling you to his lap.
"I missed you too..." You said, your fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head...
It was like all your worries were thrown out the window as he held you by the neck and captured your lips with his. Kissing you with such need and longing. It was as if a huge wave of relief washed over you... Until his hands started exploring under your hoodie.
All your insecurities resurfaced as you recalled the marks that you were hiding under these layers of clothing. Sharon's words replaying in your head like a broken record.
No...
It was like your body was moving on its own accord. Your breathing lodged in your windpipe as you realized that you had unintentionally pushed him away... Your hands trembling as they hovered mid-air, a short distance away from his chest which you had just shoved away...
"I..." You started but it was like the words were caught in the back of your throat...
You felt guilt settling in the pit of your stomach as you saw the pain flickered amongst the flecks of navy in his eyes that Momentarily looked down before looking back at you, helping you off his lap.
One...
Breathe...
Two...
She's just tired...
Three...
Be understanding...
"It's... It's fine..." The reassurance tasted bittersweet on his lips, a tight-lipped smile decorating his features...
You felt like the knot of guilt in your stomach was about to snap as you didn't fail to notice how his smile didn't reach his eyes... Or how the inflection of his voice came across as insincere, strained, hurt...
He's hurt... Because of me...
He wasn't hurt, no.
Hurt was something a 3-year-old would say if he scraped his knee. Hurt was something a teenager felt when he got his heart broken from puppy love. Hurt is something minor. Something that can be easily cured with words...
This? This was neglect.
He felt neglected... He felt like you were drifting a bit too far...
Too far from him...
˚‧⁺ ・ ˖ ·˚ ⋆。˚ ˚‧⁺
He has never been the type to openly talk about what he felt... But this— this thing you were doing? It was just unbearable... In ways that no simple words formed by letters could describe. And what's worst about this was it was you.
So, he ultimately decided that he had enough of it...
You were comfortably reading a book on the couch. The cap of your purple highlighter in between your lips as you highlight lines from your book with it. The bright color perfectly emphasizing your favorite parts.
A few other teammates were also in the living room. Respectfully busying themselves with whatever task they had at hand when suddenly, a very upset-looking bucky came storming into the living room with a scowl on his face.
"Let's talk. Now. In private." He snatched the book from your hand and tossed it on the coffee table automatically catching your attention
Confusion etched your face as you looked up at him, your knuckles turning white as your grip tightened around the highlighter.
"What are you—!" Your question abruptly interrupted, the world turning upside down as he threw you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing.
The rest of the team looked at one another with puzzled looks, watching you writhe as he walked away with you on his shoulder like a bag of rice.
"Bucky!" You squealed, thrashing against the super soldier while you repeatedly told him to put you down. The purple ink from the highlighter in your hand staining his white tank top.
"Talk." Was all you heard as you landed on the bed with a guttural 'oof'
"Rude!" He gave you an unamused look, crossing his arms as his gaze followed you as you propped yourself. Sighing as he saw that familiar pout on your lips.
"I'm worried about you..." You felt a shiver run down your spine as he walked towards you.
"What do you mean...?" You facepalmed mentally as your words came out trembling.
You were sweating, not wanting to talk about any of this any further. You already knew where this was going...
And you didn't like it...
"You're just..." He paused, looking for the right words, "You're not being you... And you—" he cut himself off, noticing how you moved away when he sat beside you. "You keep doing that"
"That? What's 'that'?"
"You keep distancing yourself from me..." You felt the guilt claw up your neck as you heard the way his voice sounded so defeated.
You never intended to worry him, and you never would want to. But looking at the situation at hand made you realize how much you got drowned by your self-doubt that you had been depriving him of the truth...
You felt torn as you sat there staring into the hazy silver hue in his blue eyes, the distress and yearning flickering in them.
You wanted to tell him about everything. You wanted to tell him how Sharon's words made your confidence falter. You wanted to show him why...
But it scared you...
The mere thought of his repulsed expression made your heart sink to your toes.
"I don't know if I've done something wrong. If I've said something you didn't like. If I had been too much. If you need space—"
"No! It's not like that..." Your eyes widened as his rambling slowly sunk into your skull,
He's blaming himself...?
"I just... It's..." He held your hand, soothing you through your anxious state...
He hated seeing you like this, he hated how much you were holding back, he hated how you were hesitating... But he was patient with you like he always is. Because he knew firsthand how hard it is to open up.
"Please... Please tell me.." you let out a shaky breath. Your fingers fiddled with the highlighter as you closed your eyes for a moment to collect yourself.
The moment you opened your eyes and witnessed the unshed tears gloss over his pretty eyes was the exact moment you figured that you had lost at whatever this was...
Your hands fidgeted with the highlighter as you told him everything he needed to know— from the stretch marks that had you questioning your self-worth to Sharon’s comment that rang in your ears like a constant reminder. You just laid it all out there, hoping he’d understand how much it had gotten to you. Even though you knew it still wasn't enough of an excuse for how you've treated him...
The tears prickled your eyes as they pooled; you felt so small. So vulnerable around him... Just how you liked it.
"I'm so proud of you for telling me doll..." The pad of his thumb swiping away the single tear that rolled down your face...
"Can I see...?" You looked at him with wide eyes, why would he want to see such a sight?
"James..." His name slipped from your lips as a hesitant whisper, but your thoughts became a jumbled mess when he suddenly got off the bed and kneeled in front of you, looking up at you with those big blue eyes...
"Please...?" He pleaded, removing the highlighter before holding your hands in his.
Your man was literally on his knees for you, his eyes wide with hope and vulnerability, like he was silently begging for an answer. His voice was so full of genuine longing and yearning. How could you say no to that? At that moment, with your heart swelling, saying anything but yes felt impossible.
You meekly nodded and he looked like a kid on Christmas morning, beaming with a grin.
Goosebumps formed on your skin as you felt his hands twisting with the waistband of your pajama shorts. He looked up at you as though to ask for permission so you granted it with another nod. You lifted your hips for him to fully remove them.
Suddenly,you felt the insecurity clawing at your neck; feeling exposed and just... Bare as you sat there in just your tank top and underwear. Displaying parts of your body that only he had the privilege of seeing.
You pressed your knees together, knowing that the marks only get worse around the insides of your thighs...
Bucky didn't like this... But he had more than one way to keep those legs spread for him...
"So pretty..." he murmured, his voice soft and full of admiration as his hand gently held your calf as if you would wither under his touch if he wasn't careful enough. His other hand was doing the total opposite by holding your other leg in place and slightly spreading it. He leaned in, pressing a series of slow, lingering kisses from your knee, his lips feather-light as they brushed against your skin. He moved up to the side of your thigh, each kiss seemed to carry a silent promise, a vow of how much he adored every inch of you. The warmth of his breath and the tenderness in his eyes made your heart stutter, filling you with a sense of love and security that felt overwhelming.
You let out a whine, desperate and needy when you felt him detach his lips from your skin. Already yearning for the sensation of his lips on you. "What are you doing?" Gazing at him curiously as he took the highlighter in his hand
He didn't answer.
He held your knee in one hand to avoid them from blocking his line of sight. His mind was in a whirlwind as he saw the marks.
They're beautiful
How dare you deprive him of this.
You gasped as you felt the cold ink of the highlighter on your skin. Bucky moved his hand gracefully as he left traces of bright purple along your stretch marks, tucking his lower lip between his teeth as he concentrated.
"What are you doing, James?" Another attempt for an answer as you watch his hand in between your legs only to be met with silence once again.
He pulled away once he finished, a satisfied look on his face. Looking at his work with such pride in himself. It was beautiful. You were beautiful. Nothing could ever compare to this, to you. No art made by Monet, Renoir, or even Van Gogh could ever come close to how ethereal you looked...
"This," he started, his fingers gently tracing the trails of purple ink on your skin, "This is to remind you that I will always love all of you"
You bit back a smile as you looked down at him; the lovesick look in his eyes told you that his words exude nothing but honesty. And it was as if everything was just now sinking into your mind. Crimson tinted your cheeks, heating up as you realized that you were half naked with a super soldier in between your thighs. Kneeling for you.
You let out a strangled moan as he pressed his lips on your skin once more. Trailing wet kisses to your inner thigh, inhaling as his nose poked your clothed core. You smelled so sweet...
"You think you're getting off the hook that easy?" You gulped so hard that he probably heard it, you couldn't help yourself. How could you when Bucky was looking up at you like someone who hasn't been fed for the past few months? The warmth of his blue eyes dissipated as it was replaced by something familiar but different... Something feral.
"Spread those pretty legs for me, doll. I'm going to fuck you until you're finally convinced that every part of you is perfect"
#i tried my best i guess#this was so fun writing#bucky x you#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky
1K notes
·
View notes