#not even reading actual books
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i think theres this idea in the general public that the "best" fanfic gets turned into real books like 50 shades of grey. but the truth is that the best fanfic can never be published as an actual book because its intricately woven into the canon material so its inseparable even if you change the names
#no shade (ha) to 50 shades. ive never actually read it so idk if its good#but imo the idea of creating an au fanfic thats so divorced from the original work is boring! why are you even making a fanfic atp#the only good fanfic is when you can tell the author loves the source material and uses it#the best fanfics ive ever read could never be published as actual books because it wouldnt work without the context of the original story
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wishing so bad that I was a great writer or artist rn
#there's sm things I wish I could paint and draw and write#but I can't#because I don't know how#or I'm js simply so bad#and idk where to start even#but at the same time I'm not creative enough that I could use my imagination for drawing#or come up with unique plots and ideas and everything#and even if I did start working to be one#I have commitment issues#so then I'd js give up easily because I wouldn't be where I want to be right at the start#and not commit to practicing alot so that I can improve or wtv#because to me everything has to be perfect right off the bat#and also idk how to manage time so one thing I often find myself wondering is how would I fit these hobbies into my schedule#with school#because the thing is I do have time#I js don't know how to manage it properly#and I procrastinate on everything schoolwork related and don't let myself do anything (except reading fanfics and scrolling on tumblr/pin)#unless that work is done#but I don't do that work until the last minute so I never end up doing anything else except scrolling and reading fanfiction#not even reading actual books#Arghhhg#i hate this
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been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week
#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too#also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it#i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff#but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions#and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones)#i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people)#i would be more inclined to still ID as ace#but anyways!#aro#aromantic#<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote#also#described in alt text#also also#j tag#:/#aro media
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It's still interesting that TBoB called more attention to Stan's control over his mindscape (And if you go with the interpretation that the lost pages are partial truths that are heavily influenced by Bill, then he's the one insisting that only someone with training should be able to have that much control over the mind.)
Meanwhile we have a memory!Stan. Someone who apparently knows too much and is rather aware for being a simple memory.
From the Wheel of Shame, we know Bill was able dig up all kinds of dirt on Stan but... that wasn't why he was there in the first place, was it?
Bill couldn't find the code immediately despite a memory of Stan opening the safe being a few hours old at most and decided to have Mabel try find it for him (The original concept of the ep had it far more hidden but this was likely cut because of time constraints)
Ford did experiments on Stan's mind which likely meant using Project Mentem and actually looking around his mindscape, and his only reaction was to comment on his jokes-- despite what little we the audience know being enough to render us sobbing wrecks
(yes I refuse to shut up about this part cos the book's intro is extremely underrated)
Stan was able to replace his memories of Ford with the swingset instead and managed to hide Ford in his Bar Mitzvah memory. And that's not even mentioning the lack of visible Portal and Stan o' War which noticeably show up in Ford's dreamscape (the broken swingset manifesting anyway pains me tho)
He subconsciously has misdirects for his secrets that are both silly and manages to disturb everyone too
And while Bill-as-Soos being bored by the vending machine memory is a joke that's basically the crew's way of going "hey remember the thing way back in the first ep that's going to show up in the next one?" and in-universe appears to be Stan slipping up, it's interesting that they had Stan input the wrong code when it's consistent literally every other time its inputted (especially when it shows up correctly in the very next episode)
It's even possible that the safe code that Bill found could have been a misdirect too but we'll never know since the safe got blown open by dynamite.
Stan was able to buy time by making his mind blank despite being genuinely terrified when Bill enters his mind (to the point that he breaks character and uses his own voice to yell), and could conjure up his living room (in colour opposed to his mind's regular greyscale) to make sure Bill didn't have enough room to flee, slamming the door in his face before the effects of the memory gun kicked in.
(EDIT: Random door analysis here)
And maybe the twins eventually told him that Bill had already been inside his mind after their W3 reunion, but all we know was that his conscious self was left in the dark for ages and wasn't really aware of Bill until Weirdmageddon.
TBoB showing McGucket's dreamscape also brings up the idea of the effects of the memory gun manifesting differently to each person. To Stan's mindscape, the memory wipe manifests as blue flames which immediately brings to mind Bill's powers but it's a far lighter shade (maybe to more closely match the memory gun and its eventual fade to white?)
The end of TBoB and the website poem also firmly reminds us about Stan's connection to fire but there's also the question if Stan himself is actually aware of it...
#but also j3 having ford read dipper's entries post dd&md but not having him know about the kids' encounters with bill is so kashdskahd#cos that implies he immediately skipped the pages that mentioned stan 😭and didn't read mabel's entries#oh for him to actually react to dipper's observations about stan's mindscape....#stan pines#stanley pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#gf meta#yes of course my brain is still going ' same coin theory ooooo' at this#cos i doubt that j1 has any mention of the mindscape and it's not like stan would have studied this stuff#imagine iconic hippy hater actually mediating on purpose#i'm still waving my arms about stan potentially seeing the reader's version of tbob tho#but even if that ain't the case bill having a breakdown from him reading him like a book is still iconic#dunno if this is coherent and i'm pretty sure all this stuff is things most folks know but idk some people didn't read the journal#some folks don't know about the poem!!!! truly the biggest tragedy
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Shout out to Cishet White Teenager Christopher Paolini for realizing that if you give people infinite time, a completely non-judgemental society, and the power to change their bodies any way they want, lots of people are gonna start doing Freaky Anthro Transgenderism on themselves.
Like yeah, if I had the option I'd probably turn myself into a bizzare eldritch creature too
#eragon#inheritance cycle#eldest#this is the same book where Eragon gets his Magical Elf HRT so yk#i think you can actually do a pretty compelling transgender reading of Eragon's story.#how even though he lost things through his transformation it also saved him#how he's now inherently something between the world of elves and humans#and is regarded as Other wherever he goes#seen as something between an oddity and an abomination#but how those closest to him know that he's still the person they loved even though he's changed#sorry I'm reading into the kid's dragon books again. unfortunately they're permanently welded to my soul and I will never be free#1k
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Hi, I remember your post in which it is mentioned, that Han won Dathomir in a game of Sabacc. Does that mean, that Talzin lost that game against him? Does she have a gambeling problem?
I haven't read the legends book the other ask was talking about, but that must be it!! talzin needs help
(commission info // kofi support!)
#new plan lets just never read legends and make up what happens in it#i guarantee it won't even be half as wild as what actually happens in those books#mother talzin#han solo#asajj ventress#merrin#nightsister merrin#talzin#star wars#my doods#thanks for the ask!
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does anyone else immediately lose interest in a book when there's a romantic subplot or is that just me
#books#reading#reading books#bookworm#aromantic#aro#arospec#aromanticism#aromantic community#asexual#ace#acespec#asexual community#aromantic asexual#aroace#aroacespec#aroace community#usually the romance is so forced and unnecessary#if its developed over years of storytelling then its more compelling#but a romance over one or two books?#just for the sake of it#??#no thank you#it doesnt even matter if it's m/f f/f or m/m#romance in books just doesnt sit right with me most times#sherlock holmes you are the exception#the main relationship in that series isnt even canon#but if it were that would be a romance that's ACTUALLY compelling
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The "Sansa reminds Sandor of his sister" motive that some people try to hitch to his character really just flies in the face of his actual attachments to her, doesn't it? Sansa reminds Sandor of himself. He sees the little boy who used to love knights in this girl who's been swept up by the same romanticism. He sees his abuser in her abusers, the much larger knight(s) beating on the helpless child. He sees how she is betrayed by every level of authority that should have saved her and remembers his father's neglect and Tywin and Robert's apathy for Gregor's crimes. He's protective of Sansa because he was Sansa.
And GRRM's design, that one of the strongest warriors in the series, a fearsome and cynical 6'8" guy who's "muscled like a bull" and has the face of death itself, sees himself in this soft and effeminate teen girl, and empathizes with her because he was an abuse victim too, is INFINITELY more compelling than "Oh yeah I bet she just reminds him of his sister," who he's never mentioned and who we know literally nothing about. Way to unnecessarily water down a character, you couldn't have ignored the black and white text more efficiently if you tried.
#sorry for the rant i saw this sentiment in a yt video recently#sansa stark#sandor clegane#sansan#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#and this is only one facet of why he has so much affection for her too#these people act like his attachment to her is limited to projection and not also bc she treats him like he's an actual human being#or that they can be themselves when they're with each other -that he can openly show his weakness to her and be comforted and validated#or like even just the physical attraction aspect - which is so obvious that you'd have to be willfully ignorant to miss it#how do you read him trying to kiss her and come away thinking “he thinks of her as his sister” lmfao#things that make me feel like people dont actually read the books
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okay the whole vase is great but something about Helen sitting on Aphrodite's lap as she wraps one arm around her shoulder and brushes her leg with her hand, staring into her eyes like that... as she is persuading Helen to go with Paris (while Peitho aka persuasion stands behind them) is so incredibly iconic.
and gay. toxic yuri, if you will.
#helen of sparta#aphrodite#greek mythology#greek vase#not pictured is nemesis pointing at them in outrage#(which is the only time so far i've found helen + nemesis together on a vase... I think about that all the time ToT its all so SAD)#anyway. I consider aphrodite labelling helen as 'the most beautiful woman in the world' to be her opinion. of course she's-#- the goddess of beauty/love so that's sounds obvious but. also consider... it's *her* opinion. aka her choice who she finds hot.#aka sapphic gay lesbian yuri whatever you want to call it helen x aphrodite is real and alive and there's nothing you can do to stop it#none of this 'they were really good friends' helen's sitting in a goddess' lap ffs. have you even read the iliad book 3?? read it again.#it's actually called the yuriliad. bet you didn't know that huh /j#i'll stop rambling (for now)#edit: im looking at these tags a day later and wow i really went for it huh. anyway i'm keeping them it's all true 🧡🤍🩷
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#im reading “Manufacturing Consent” by Noam Chompsky if anyone wants to join me#the book isn't even ABOUT this shit but I have to keep looking things up for more context#this is insane. My history classes stopped covering content after like... 1945#and all the content they DID cover certainly left out a Lot Of Content!!!! It was all American-centric & focused on our Cold War Response#So. Yeah. I don't think I'm going to be the same after this actually
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Behold thou art fair, my beloved, behold thou art fair..let me see thy face, let me hear thy voice. For thy voice is harmonious and thy face enchanting, thou has ravished my heart...thy lips drop as the honeycomb....thy palate a heady wine that goes straight to my love and flows over my lips and teeth....
Umberto Eco - The Name of the Rose
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Monk x Shinto Priest Au
#the great ace attorney#barok van zieks#ryunosuke naruhodo#baroryuu#the art of a lemon wedge#what do i even say honestly?#liks 2 years ago a friend reccomened me this book but it wasnt until a few weeks ago that suddenly found myself wanting to read it#and OBESSessd oBESSED WITH OLD MAN MONK SHERLOCK HOLMES AND SCRIBE WATSON#very rarely do i find something with the spirit of absolutely DELIGHT of sherlock solving mysteries and yet there it was#and then i finished it and was left hungry#hungry for more monks#so i picked up pillars of the earth and currently getting thru that and you know#your mind wanders#and slowly u start thinking#and its oBVIOUSLY going to be barok#british AND victorian?#i was actually this close to making it a regular priest au but i realized that was. the COWARDS way out#how can i call myself a fan if i cant even draw my fav in a bad haircut?#tONSURE BEAM#anyways....#enjoy my friends
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winterfell is one of my favorite of the castles bc its warm. both in a metaphorical and literal meaning. its built on natural hot springs and has hot water streaming through out the entire castle, protecting its residents both from the cold and people alike. its so warm inside that catelyn can open her windows in the middle of the night and still stay comfortable. even the glass gardens are warm enough for flowers to bloom and crops to grow in the long winters, feeding the keep. the people are warm too; everyone from the servants to the lord himself. Ned cared for his people and they loved him for that and took care of the Starklings in turn, risked their lives to save Bran and Rickon from the ironborn. Theon knows that if Bran and Rickon were to get away from Winterfell, the commoners themselves would protect the princes, hide and lie for them. and when Sansa builds Winterfell from snow and rocks and sticks in the Eyrie, it doesn't feel right bc despite the snow which covered it from winter to summer, Winterfell itself never was cold
#and also! the vale!#during sansa's stay in the eyrie it doesnt feel like HOME. its white and cold and empty and despite rarely getting bards and singers#winterfell was ALIVE and warm and despite being burnt down and broken ppl still long for it. be it sansa or arya or bran or cat#even jon misses winterfell and his family and his father and half siblings despite knowing he ought not to return#theon too for that matter. hes a liar and a killer and he betrayed the starks and yet...#asoiaf#winterfell#finally reading adwd btw... finally returning to the north does something to a lad...#house stark#ned stark#catelyn stark#sansa stark#bran stark#rickon stark#catelyn tully stark#its also making me realize how much i miss winterfell povs... maybe i should reread the early books actually#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#chaos reads
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Actually this ones good too one more food for todahy Toby has permanently altered my brain chemistry, I've only reread that one fanfic like. 4 times and yet freenoodles slow dancing in their house LITERALLY never leaves my brain aughuaig they are cutie patootie tho heart emojhijk
#go read toby/ counting clowns oneshot book it is so good#it occupies a permanent corner of my brain now them dancing just make so much sense i don't even understand actually#freenoodles doing very small things constantly to try to fluster the other my beloved#gentle neck kiss mwah mwah they'rE SO. ksnhfkj#smandflsajfkgbkl#igrnore the anantomy and depth mistakes if you cna see them shhhh no you can't shush shh shushshfhsik#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk#lmk tang#lmk pigsy#freenoodleshipping#lmk freenoodles#freenoodles#lego monkie kid fanart#zaacoy art💫
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I love love love when trans women* give advice to trans men* about """manly""" things and when trans men* return that kindness with advice about """womanly""" things. I love the intracommunity commitment to supporting each other <<3
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#obviously it's better when that advice and guidance is consentual#if you ever want to give that advice do be sure that that person is even seeking that out#i have made advice posts which i try to state as neutrally as possible to ensure that whomever wants the advice can read it#but by no means are those posts intended to force you to change or to do things outside of what you want y'know?#ANYWAY thank you to trans women for unironically teaching me how to shave when i didn't know how#(i read the book Nevada partway and that was how i started to learn how to shave my face)#(and i've gotten a decent-ish close shave though i do admit i'm not that good at it. i'm kinda lazy actually LOL)#chin stubble is genuinely one of the worst sensory things for me and i'm so grateful that i was taught by trans women about it :)!!!#genuinely me when other trans people: 🥰
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there he is......the man of the house
#mine#ough hello not posted in a while!!#im busy doin portfolio stuff so . not much cat drawinign going on THO i will. hopefully do one tomorrow hehe#i was gna get stickers for my next shop update but its hurting me head so. gna order new prints hopefully!! this week and then#do stickers n postcards next time. i am so low on stock sihfdkggwe#need 2 buy envelopes also....my least favourite thing 2 spend money on#what hve i been up to ....i made a blanket!! maybe i will post picture. it was gna b a cardigan i started it like last year#n then i went 2 sew it together n was like. this pattern is insane also this wool is too thick so. blanky :)#its very good. good lap blanket!!#what else what else....been re reading lotr. im reading it on ebook i lov ebook sm. i love printed books but i jus absolutely cannot#read them. dyslexia gang rise up !!!!#im reading it so much quicker tho n also actually remembering it ....would die for gimli#also started rewatching cr2 >:) i dont . actually like th new campaign so KSDFKJDN rewatch it is#even tho i dont like molly. not that thats gna b an issue for long sifubshbhebwj#im so seepy...so cold.....gna rest now probably n play skyrim hehe#cat drawings tomorrow >:)#okay bye
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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