#not even for anything important
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This is a story from like 2 years ago, but I saw a post talking about all the free organizations like Archive.org and Wikipedia and stuff, and how people should support them. And this made me think of this. So like my mom does my taxes for me, which is great, she’s awesome at it, but like she asked me if I had donated anything, which I was like yeah. So she says, how much and to who? And I say Wikipedia and she’s like why, you could donate money to something else that’s better, and I’m like? Cause I love Wikipedia? Why else and where else would I donate to? (Obviously, there are a great many other organizations and nonprofits that would benefit from my hard earned dollar but this isn’t about them) ( I also just really resonate with Wikipedia? I guess?) Anyways, that’s all
#wikipedia#storytime#Wikipedia is great!#like why wouldn’t I donate to a resource that I use multiple time a day?#not even for anything important#I just want to look at movie plots or find out what ingredients are in a states official food#or the difference between magnesium chloride and magnesium oxide#look up celebrity wiki pages to see what movies they were in or if they are related to other celebrities
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Susie meets the friendly yellow rabbit in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#william afton#susie fnaf#fnaf pizzeria simulator#spring bonnie#yellow rabbit#‘can you get the dog please? I know how to get there..’#since drawing the Charlie comic I’ve been wondering what I should do in that vibe next#it only felt right to focus on Susie’s story#after Charlie David Cassidy etc I think Susie is the next most important ghost child#we know a lot about her#and her story is horrific it really gets to me#William kills her dog to test remnant#then uses her dogs death to lure her to test a humans remnant#ITS sick and twisted#it’s how William uses anything to his manipulation even grief especially grief#I sniffle and sob over Chica and the cupcake
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there’s death of the author and then there’s whatever the fuck is up with danny phantom
#danny phantom#death of the author#most of the lore is fan made#a decent chunk of the fandom hasn’t even seen the show#one of the most beloved side characters isn’t an actual character#because we made him up based on a like 2 second clip#he’s not even the only widely accepted fan made character#because we spawned more from him#and we ba sing se-ed ourselves about phantom planet#dannypocalypse is also a thing#it doesn’t have anything to do with death of the author#but it’s important to me that we’ve pulled off a successful fandom apocalypse#every year since i think 2017
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return of the shenanigang! 🎪 no feature to let karlach win plushies at arcade games? shh it's canon anyways 💯🧸🧸 (wyll is being told bad puns to distract him from dribbles' fate. astarion has stolen back the entirety of their coin which they lost spinning the wheel too many times)
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#karlach#wyll#astarion#durge#oc: noon#(i also wish u could've gotten some other facepaint than the clown one:( lemme give karlach a butterfly)#(and lemme go out during evenings/nights sometimes!!😤 for morale and atmosphere)#hope everyone's enjoying how i only share the important bits of how it's going#like absolutely no lore on my durge or what's properly going on or anything#but you Will hear about circus trip 💯
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it is completely understandable to be uncomfortable with the sexual assault in dandadan. it's important to discuss how it's framed, whether it's handled poorly, or if it could be been portrayed better. but the number of people - even fans - stating that it is only fanservice, irrelevant, or could be removed is frankly bizarre to for SO many reasons, starting with the fact that this parallel exists.
the anime made it even more obvious by interpolating cuts from the first scene into the second one.
i thought this scene showed that momo gaining her powers by believing in her relationship with her grandmother gives her the strength to fight back against what is basically a horrific, much more aggressive and abstract (maybe even absurd?) representation of her shitty gross ex - who was demanding she 'put out' and pay for the love hotel in very first scene.
while the escalation from one scene to the next is surprising, it's not something that comes out of nowhere. this first scene is meant to be a set-up to what will happen later. it sets the tone, though significantly more lighthearted at this point. it tells you that sex, sexuality, etc. is something dandadan will touch on - though you don't know what the scope and depth will be until later in the chapter.
i cannot recommend this video enough, as it discusses some interesting interpretations of what the serpoians and turbo granny represent in their respective assault scenes, as well as how right now the treatment of both scenes is unfortunately uneven.
more notes about plot and thematic relevance below the cut. spoilers for anime-onlies (up to chapter 8, will probably be covered in episodes 4/5).
momo was assaulted, and almost cut up by the serpoians, much like the other victims turbo granny appeared around. this is an intentional parallel. turbo granny goes to momo because that is what she does. again, SUPER unclear how that factors into turbo granny's assault of ken, but if we keep the video's interpretation of cynicism in mind, it could be related to that; maybe turbo granny has a cynicism toward men - similar to momo in chapter/episode 1 - and this is why she chose to attack ken. unfortunately, it's still too early to really understand and explain a lot of her motivations.
again, completely understandable to not like how the sexual assault was handled or portrayed, and it's important to keep discussing it. but this is what dandadan does for many different types of trauma and difficult life experiences. this is a huge part of dandadan's identity. if you don't like it, that is fine, but calling the sexual assault 'just fan service' is blatantly untrue.
#dandadan#L.txt#long post#dandadan analysis#< i guess? 😭#discussdadan#sorry for this kinda sloppy post but i need it out bc i feel like im losing my mind#this is not even ''''''''''a defense''''''''''' of the s/a i think it's really important to discuss framing/handling/etc etc#but some of the discourse arising from the first episode is maddening and is thoroughly not helped by ppl being weird/assholes abt it#you dont ''''''have to like it'''''' (< what does that even mean??) or keep reading it or literally anything#this is just a basic 'please engage w the text'
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
#writeblr#warm up#ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water#an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP#15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap#btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes#ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild#i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me#but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6#that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho#this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded#in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair#or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies#i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.
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hot twink is tied up and penetrated
A Collection of Homoerotic Paintings of Saint Sebastian
Carlo Saraceni, c. 1610 /// Nicolas Régnier, c. 1620 /// Guido Reni, c. 1625 /// Nicolas Régnier, c. 1625 /// Louis Finson, c. 1613 /// François-Guillaume Ménageot, c. 1760 /// Guido Reni, c. 1615 /// Nicolas Régnier, c. 1620
#academic writings about saint sebastian are so funny cos they're all like:#'yeah he isn't a very important catholic figure or anything. renaissance artists just really liked painting him. hmmm'#the bottom left one. he doesn't even have any arrows. dude you didn't even try to hide what you were doing#renaissance art#renaissance#baroque#baroque art#saint sebastian#gay#< I hope my gay brothers appreciate this#art#oil painting#catholic art
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george rexstrew deserves awards for many things but i have to say. edwin’s bloodcurdling scream as niko gets killed deserves a whole award unto itself. like. that scream did not feel at all like a tv show scream. to a somewhat jarring degree. and i can’t express how much I respect that
#he has a number of very convincing screams and suffering noises which I imagine was an important prerequisite for the role#but this one is just especially chilling and again. jarring. not saying that the other actors are bad or anything but no one even comes#close to competing with george and its stark in moments like this#another screaming moment that I thought he did really well in particular is far easier to gloss over and that’s#when he and charles are escaping hell and he almost gets dragged down into lust#when he’s screaming out for charles he borderline SCREECHES#throughout that arc in general it’s just incredible but yeah#I think part of what makes it so convincing is that he isn’t afraid to be high pitched and genuinely Scream rather than yell#like. he is clearly immune to being put off by ‘you scream like a girl’ rhetoric#I think a lot of male actors avoid screaming and screeching like that for that internalized reason when. if you wanna be as realistic as#possible. a scream is high pitched. if you’re scared for your fucking life it’s just involuntary#I can also see it being uncommon due to difficulties getting that sound adequately recorded but yeah anyway you get my point#tldr: george rexstrew is great at disturbingly realistic screaming and I applaud him for that#I really hope he didn’t have to retake that part too many times..#his poor throat……….#george rexstrew#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers
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Thinking about hypersexual Simon Riley and aromantic reader. He doesn’t have time to date with his job, or the patience to find new hookups all the time. Dating apps are the bane of his existence. If he’s honest with himself, despite his wants, he doesn’t enjoy unfamiliarity. He doesn’t like having to explain himself over and over to people who often don’t understand (or care).
Instead he finds you, a pretty little thing that moves into the flat next door. You don’t demand commitment, or that he opens up more than he likes. You’re easy, kind, soft under his hands. You offer companionship when he needs, make conversation without expecting more than he’s able to give right now.
You’re in much the same position. Despite how men often say they want to hookup without any strings beyond maybe a casual friendship (if that), as soon as you’re the one to set that boundary they start whining. Can’t handle the idea that you don’t want them in every way possible. Can’t stand losing out on that control over the women they’re with. In your experience, at least.
You dread the day he inevitably finds someone. He’ll leave you behind, of course, and it’s not that you’d hold it against him. Simon deserves love like no one you’ve ever met. That impending day has become a little more real since he’s been talking about this “Johnny” from his work, though.
Obviously partially inspired by Service Dog Johnny by @void-my-warranty and a little bit by Harmless Fun from @rememberwren (if you haven’t read their stuff please please please do, they’re both incredible)
Update: I started it (LINK)
#is this anything????#idk I’m just having thoughts#probably won’t actually do anything with this#I just love thinking about hypersexual Simon#he’s so important to me#and I want to write more ghoap#I don’t even know if I explained it well#simon ghost riley#fem reader#simon ghost riley x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#ghoap x reader
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An extreme cringe Jam post because ‼️‼️‼️ i am free
Id like to remind everyone that they are cringefail losers 🎉🎉🎉
Also please Ignore that I mispelled mischievous
#marble hornets#tim wright#jay merrick#Mh jam#I really like this because Tim is much more familiar with mental health and knows how to deal with it and treat it like how it should be#Meanwhile Jay is. Jay#He hasnt gotten help for anything mental health related ever#That we know of#And he doesn't want help now because he doesn't actually want it all to end yet#Because hes afraid of going back to being pointless#But basically he is such a shell who doesn't know what being mentally healthy even is or how itd#Be#And erm#Therefore he thinks Tim is being overly dramatic when hes treating Jay's wellbeing as important#But idk that's just me#💥💥💥#marble hornets fanart#jay mh#Tim mh#Mh jay#Mh tim#Marble hornets jam#jam marble hornets#My art teehee
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do the silly thing. if you do not do the silly thing time will pass and it will not be the same silly thing it could have been. it will still be silly, and it will still be yours, but it will not be the same. this is both a blessing and a curse, but so is living; and if you do not do it now when will you? who will? it has to be you, it was always meant for you, waiting for you.
#this is about writing for me but could be about anything (that is not hurtful to urself or others. very important)#that's why it is silly (affectionate) or cringey (affectionate) like u gotta just let yourself go sometimes. you have to do the thing.#even if it is terrible horrible (not what you want) bc at least then it EXISTS. at least it holds space in the universe and it lives outsid#you can let it sit and rot and gather dust but at least then you can go back to it. even if it's horrible there is at LEAST at least -#one kernel of it that you can bring into the next piece. at least one shining pearl of something.#even if it needs work or months in those lil funky rock tumblers for geodes and gemstones and all. even if needs SO much work.#at least it is there!!! and it is yours!!!#it's your call to action if it's something u want w/ all your heart.#or even a piece of it. if it's something you want? well - it's already yours. it always has been.#you just have to take the first step / the first breath / and begin.#scribbles.
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#poetry is an act of resistance#speaking is resistance#dont let anyone make you feel bad for speaking up about Palestine#those who say things like “blogging isnt activism” are afraid of your words more than anything#even a post which is a modern form of communication and incredibly important#is an act of resistance
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2x01 | 2x08
#wotedit#wot#wot on prime#the wheel of time#nynaeve al'meara#rand al'thor#egwene al'vere#mat cauthon#perrin aybara#elayne trakand#mine#wot show spoilers#ef5#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP#this is what it's all ABOUT!!!!#also i HAD to include a gif of nynaeve comforting mat it's IMPORTANT!!!!#'she didn't do anything this episode' she provided emotional support and that's important!#even amidst all the chaos and strife going on she takes a moment to comfort mat!
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being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now
#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic#even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space#so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now#like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry)#but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her#or a blind bag with a character keychain#and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad#starts to diminish#my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it#or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces#i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables#my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons#like i dont get it but i get it#maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort#sara shush#ramble
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In my Zeus bag today so I'm just gonna put it out there that exactly none of the great Ancient Greek warrior-heroes stayed loyal and faithful and completely monogamous and yet none of them have their greatness questioned nor do we question why they had the cultural prominence that they did and still do.
Jason, the brilliant leader of the Argo, got cold feet when it came to Medea - already put off by some of her magic and then exiled from his birthland because of her political ploys, he took Creusa to bed and fully intended on marrying her despite not properly dissolving things with Medea.
Theseus was a fierce warrior and an incredibly talented king but he had a horrible temper and was almost fatally weak to women. This is the man who got imprisoned in the Underworld for trying to get a friend laid, the man who started the whole Attic War because he couldn't keep his legs closed.
And we cannot at all forget Heracles for whom a not inconsiderable amount of his joy in life was loving people then losing the people around him that he loved. Wives, children, serving boys, mentors, Heracles had a list of lovers - male and female - long enough to rival some gods and even after completing his labours and coming down to the end of his life, he did not have one wife but three.
And y'know what, just because he's a cultural darling, I'll put Achilles up here too because that man was a Theseus type where he was fantastic at the thing he was born to do (that is, fight whereas Theseus' was to rule) but that was not enough to eclipse his horrid temper and his weakness to young pretty things. This is the man that killed two of Apollo's sons because they wouldn't let him hit - Tenes because he refused to let Achilles have his sister and Troilus who refused Achilles so vehemently that he ran into Apollo's temple to avoid him and still couldn't escape.
All four of these men are still celebrated as great heroes and men. All four of these men are given the dignity of nuance, of having their flaws treated as just that, flaws which enrich their character and can be used to discuss the wider cultural point of what truly makes a hero heroic. All four of these men still have their legacies respected.
Why can that same mindset not be applied to Zeus? Zeus, who was a warrior-king raised in seclusion apart from his family. Zeus who must have learned to embrace the violence of thunder for every time he cried as a babe, the Corybantes would bang their shields to hide the sound. Zeus learned to be great because being good would not see the universe's affairs in its order.
The wonderful thing about sympathy is that we never run out of it. There's no rule stopping us from being sympathetic to multiple plights at once, there's no law that necessitate things always exist on the good-evil binary. Yes, Zeus sentenced Prometheus to sufferation in Tartarus for what (to us) seems like a cruel reason. Prometheus only wanted to help humans! But when you think about Prometheus' actions from a king's perspective, the narrative is completely different: Prometheus stole divine knowledge and gifted it to humans after Zeus explicitly told him not to. And this was after Prometheus cheated all the gods out of a huge portion of wealth by having humans keep the best part of a sacrifice's meat while the gods must delight themselves with bones, fat and skin. Yes, Zeus gave Persephone away to Hades without consulting Demeter but what king consults a woman who is not his wife about the arrangement of his daughter's marriage to another king? Yes, Zeus breaks the marriage vows he set with Hera despite his love of her but what is the Master of Fate if not its staunchest slave?
The nuance is there. Even in his most bizarre actions, the nuance and logic and reason is there. The Ancient Greeks weren't a daft people, they worshipped Zeus as their primary god for a reason and they did not associate him with half the vices modern audiences take issue with. Zeus was a father, a visitor, a protector, a fair judge of character, a guide for the lost, the arbiter of revenge for those that had been wronged, a pillar of strength for those who needed it and a shield to protect those who made their home among the biting snakes. His children were reflections of him, extensions of his will who acted both as his mercy and as his retribution, his brothers and sisters deferred to him because he was wise as well as powerful. Zeus didn't become king by accident and it is a damn shame he does not get more respect.
#ginger rambles#ginger chats about greek myths#greek mythology#It's Zeus Apologist day actually#For the record Jason is my personal favourite of these guys#The argonauts are extremely underrated for literally no reason#And Jason's wit and sheer ability to adapt along with his piousness are traits that are so far away from what usually gets highlighted#with the typical Greek warrior-hero that I've just never stopped being captivated by him#Conversely I still do not understand what people see in Achilles#I respect him and his legacy I respect the importance of his tale and his cultural importance I promise I do#However I personally can't stand the guy LMAO#How do you get warned twice TWICE both by your mother and by Athena herself that going after Apollo's children is a bad idea#And still have the audacity to be mad and surprised when Apollo is gunning for Specifically You during the war you're bringing to His City#That You Specifically and Exclusively had a choice in avoiding#ACHILLES COULD'VE JUST SAID NO#I know that's not the point however so many other members of the Greek camp were simply casualties of Fate in every conceivable way man#Achilles looked at every terrible choice he could possibly make said “Well I'm gonna die anyway 🤷🏽” and proceeded to make the choice#so hard that he angered god#That's y'all's man right there#I left out Perseus because truthfully I don't actually know much about him#I haven't studied him even a fraction as much as I've studied some of the other big culture heroes and none of this is cited so i don't wan#to talk about stuff I don't know 100%#Anyway justice for Zeus fr#Gimme something give me literally anything other than the nonsense we usually get for him#This goes for Hera too btw#Both the king and queen of the skies are done TERRIBLY by wider greek myth audiences and it's genuinely disheartening to see#If y'all could make excuses for Achilles to forgive his flaws y'all can do it for them#They have a lot more to sympathise with I'll tell you that#(that is a completely biased statement; you are completely free and encouraged to enjoy whichever figures spark joy)#zeus
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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