#not Literally i mean she doesn't seem mean but then i mean she also harshly criticizes teachers on the gc

[thatsuncleharrytoyouyoungman]

you ever realize how ur perception of other ppl's perception of u is based on ur perception of them?

[itsclydebitches]

Watching The Apothecary Diaries and from a character perspective I love the detail of the pipe, the one used in the warehouse explosion. In just a few, literal seconds of storytelling we're shown quite clearly who Maomao is:

She notes that she "accidentally" took the pipe with her. Despite being a poor commoner surrounded by luxury, she resists most temptations towards theft. There's one moment - was it when she went to Ah-Duo's palace? - where she notes that anyone with so many nice things wouldn't notice something small going missing, but then she knocks herself out of that thinking. Maomao isn't some #pure protagonist who'd never even consider such a thing, rather she's an upstanding and smart individual who realizes this is both wrong and, notably, a dumb move if she gets caught. Maomao is careful to ask for the materials she needs to pull off the bomb experiment and there are times when, even basking in a love of herbs, she will not pick them if they're from someone else's garden. Maomao respects others' property and not even her hyperfixations will override that (a common flaw in other single-minded protagonists). This also dovetails nicely into her admission that she and Luomen built a lot of things they needed because she grew up poor. Who's to say how hard someone else worked to make/buy/secure that object?

Sidenote: It's interesting to me that the exception here seems to be Jinshi. Just an episode earlier Maomao tried to fleece him of who knows how much through the sale of Granny's "educational materials," which, you know, is very much theft. Beyond the fact that the general wealth of a noble differs greatly from the specific possession of a commoner (or even a woman concubine), it feels almost... intimate to me? That's not quite the word I'm looking for, but I mean that Maomao allows Jinshi to influence her in ways she doesn't let others, at least outside of her immediate family. Another notable example of that is her unwillingness to fake an interest in him. We see many times over the course of the show - facing off against the women in the outer court, acting as a courtesan for the night, etc. - that Maomao is perfectly capable of playing the smiling, docile, hapless woman society expects. Yet from day one she's refused to apply that mask for Jinshi's sake and, in turn, despises when he turns his charm mask on her. Maomao wants people to exist plainly, just as she normally does... and a part of that is accepting that she's sometimes an imperfect, immoral person. Weirdly, trying to steal from Jinshi feels like an act of trust towards him, both on a safety level (I trust that you won't punish me too harshly if I get caught) and an emotional one (I trust you to see an important part of my character: that I'll bend and even break the rules for my family's sake).

Moving on, Maomao is also incredibly practical and is living under the realities of a) poverty and b) a patriarchal society. She notes many times throughout the series (this episode included) that Luomen is terrible at turning a profit and Maomao herself owes Granny a fair bit. Combine that with the reminder that she was just fired from one position after being kidnapped from another and of course Maomao thinks about selling the pipe. She didn't intentionally steal it and - crucially - she has no reason to think it's still important to the investigation, but now that it's in her possession she might as well make use of it. Clean it up, find a new mouthpiece, and sell it off for a good price. Maomao is constantly thinking about the price of things, particularly in the context of whether she, a commoner, deserves them and that leads to her likewise noting the everyday objects that could make a big difference in her life, things that others don't even notice. For Jinshi that's just a useless stack of papers to burn; for Maomao they're a potential source of income, translating directly to her father keeping a roof over his head. Class is HUGE in The Apothecary Diaries, so of course Maomao takes one look at a beautifully carved pipe and considers how much she could sell it for.

...but she doesn't. Maomao looks closer still, uses those keen deduction skills to assume the pipe may have sentimental importance, and decides to give it back. Laomen isn't in immediate danger of being evicted, she may have just snagged him a new customer in Lihaku, and Granny isn't hounding her too much, so soft-hearted Maomao is going to put practicality aside and return it. Because she is soft-hearted. This is the girl utterly committed to the big gestures - risking exposure to warn two mothers about the poison killing their babies - as well as the small: staying up night after night to sew pockets into everyone's clothes just so they might be a little warmer for one festival. Now here, Maomao decides to still clean up the pipe. It's not enough to just return it, she's going to return it in pristine condition, even though that won't net her anything other than a potential 'Thank you' now. For me, Maomao so often embodies the message that when peoples' basic needs are met, they're then free to be quite kind to one another.

Love this girl. So, so much.

[abiatackerman]

Rejection

Event: @levievent "Levi Month 24"

🍷 Day 25: Drunk/Drugged 🍷

Canon universe! Captain Levi Ackerman X Scout (unidentified rank) Reader! Comedy! Fluff! Slight curse words! 1.2K words!

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

"What does he think of himself? He may be the strongest soldier but he's nothing but an arrogant ass. A rude-boring-short arrogant ass! How dare he? He rejected me? Actually a shitty person like him didn't even deserve my confession in the first place!"

You hiss with anger as you gulp all the liquor of the glass with just a single sip. You harshly put the glass on the table and glare at the brunette who's sitting beside you.

"You're to blame too! 'I'm 99.9% sure Levi's crazy for you! Just go and tell your feelings I bet he'll then share his feelings too!' Well, fuck your assumptions, Hange. And fuck that midget! Look, where you've led me! I'm now humiliated, heartbroken, furious and drinking like a stupid bitch. All because of your assumptions!"

You scold Hange with a loud voice, a voice which is completely indicating that you're 100% drunk. You clumsily try to reach the bottle but Hange quickly moves that away from your reach.

"Listen girl, first of all I said I was 99.9% sure. There was a 0.1% chance that he'll reject you. Also he didn't actually reject you, he just told you not to be dramatic. He was doing paperwork when you went to confess and I guess he was actually shy to accept your proposal."

You glare at Hange and they smile nervously. Because she's feeling that you're furious and you probably want to throw something at her. Hange quickly checks if there's something in your reach or not.

"He literally told me 'Stop being dramatic and mind your own business, dumbass' when I just confessed to him? Pouring all my emotions, I expressed my emotions to him as clearly as I could and he did what? Told me to mind my own business? Called me a dumbass and started to sign some paperworks?! Well, he's right though I'm totally a fool. I shouldn't have proposed to him in the first place. And hey lemme drink!"

You try to reach out for the bottle which Hange is holding too high for you to reach.

"No girly, enough drink for tonight. You're totally wasted. More drinking will take you nowhere other than resulting in severe headaches. So let's not pain yourself anymore for an arrogant ass shorty."

Hange's words calm you down and you move away.

"Right, why was I drinking anyway? He doesn't deserve it! I should just try to forget about him. I'll go to sleep and starting tomorrow I'll make plans to make his world a living hell. I'll sneak out to his room and mess everything up, make his room filthy with everything I can."

You speak with a smile and Hange laughs.

"I'll surely help you. Like girl, damn... I'll definitely help you... Now let me walk you to your room. You're too drunk to move."

You nod at Hange's words and clumsily stand up. Hange wraps an arm around your waist, supporting you as you both start to walk towards the barracks.

But luckily or unluckily, the person you hate the most (right now, I mean) shows up. It seems like he was on the way of his barracks too. Your face turns red with anger and you curse immediately glaring at him like you want to kill him.

But it's Levi we're talking about! He just takes a look at you glaring and hissing at him and ignores it like it's nothing. He then just casually asks Hange with his usual calm voice.

"Are you carrying a wild kitten with you at this hour? It's almost midnight and you both should be sleeping, four eyes."

At his words you feel your face turns red with anger.

"Excuse me, what did you......"

Before you can finish your sentence Hange pushes you towards Levi and stumbling, you end up in Levi's arms. Cursing, Levi catches you instinctively, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"What the fuck, Hange?"

You both ask annoyedly at the same time. Hange just laughs.

"You're the reason why Y/N's this drunk so you're the one who's gonna babysitting her. Now take your girl to her room and apologize to her before she actually starts to hate you for real."

Hange says pointing their finger at Levi and you look at her glaring. You're still leaning on Levi though, and his arms are still wrapped around you.

"I'm gonna kill you, bitch. You're a betrayer! How can you do this to me?"

You ask furiously and Hange sighs, placing her hands on her waist.

"No sweetie, actually you'll be thanking me tomorrow. Now have fun lovebirds. Also Levi you can take advantage of her if you want. She's totally wasted."

You look at Hange with disbelief as you hear Levi taking a deep breath. He's probably trying to control his anger. Hange just laughs and walks off casually like they haven't just made two people wanting to kill them (Hange).

You look up at Levi's face from his neck as you hear him clicking his tongue. You can't help but realise how pretty he actually is.... You wish to kiss his sharp jawline so badly, bite and suck his neck and...

"Stop ogling, doll."

You blink as Levi's voice pulls you out of your fantasies. His voice is rather soft now and you furrow your eyebrows.

"What have you done to yourself? I thought you were sassy enough to brush off a rejection? Now what the hell is this? You're totally wasted!"

Levi softly scolds you and moves his hand down to pick you up but you slap his hand off.

"I can walk myself! And I didn't drink because you rejected me but because how stupid I was! You're right I was a dumbass for thinking you like me. You're the 'Humanity's strongest soldier' after all! I forgot that you're standards must be fucking high. You're fucking arrogant after all! My sweet confession was just a drama to you! After all why would you want a short girl like me when you have taller richer girls drooling over you?"

Your voice breaks and your eyes tears up as you try to break Levi's hug. Levi remains totally silent but his arms tighten around you.

"I'm sorry."

You pause as you hear the words. Did he just apologize?

"What?"

You ask looking up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"I never would have acted that way if I knew you would be this hurt. I was just so confused that I didn't know how to react."

Levi says softly and looks into your eyes. His gaze is soft and there's a genuine apologetic look in them.

"I'm sorry, doll. But I, I like you too, I'm just bad with words and expressing my emotions."

Your face softens and you nod.

"I know that! But you were still rude. I haven't forgiven you yet! For you I drank like a loser and I'm probably going to have a painful headache tomorrow."

You complain like a kid making Levi smile. This time you don't stop when he picks you up.

"Will you forgive me if I'm gonna take care of you tomorrow."

You wrap your arms around his neck as he speaks and smile against his chest.

"We'll see."

You mumble against his grey shirt, hiding your smile as Levi walks towards your room.

"I know you will. After all you're crazily in love with me."

"Shut up!"

[sailorgundam308]

Karlach isn't a good girl

Listen, LISTEN. I love her, okay? Now that's out of the way. I see many people reducing her personality to the "big friendly labrador dog" thing. And while it's cute and all that, I disagree. Let me get into why I think Karlach isn't the goodie nice girl she puts a lot of effort to be. She has just returned to Faerun when we meet her in game, and she IS trying her bestest to start anew, to be the best version of herself now that she is free. But it doesn't mean she was always like that, or that her past has not changed her. I think it did - quite a lot, in fact.

Let's start with Gortash. She worked for this fucker. Granted, she might not have known he was such an evil bastard at the time, but she was his bodyguard. And by bodyguard, it is implied that she was his bully, his enforcer and debt collector - you know, the kind that breaks knees and kills people. When she meets an old friend in the city, that friend asks her if she is still in "the business of intimidation", and offers her to come see weapons. Even though Karlach, in her mind, might have been convincing herself that doing such a job was to help someone she respected, she still did it. And that is FINE. She was a young orphan, a tiefling in a place where tieflings are discriminated against harshly, poor and without much perspective. Of course a guy coming over offering her a well paid job that she excelled in would seem like winning a lottery. Still, she was a pretty shady violent person doing it. Now, the Hells. Avernus. She was sold to Zariel quite young still, and went through all sorts of torture and other perks enslavement gets you. For 10 years. She was scared shitless while there, especially in the beginning - she says so herself (to Halsin). All the carnage she inflicted was not (very) voluntary. She HAD to, or she would be the one getting killed. But she enjoyed it - or grew to. She likes violence, the adrenaline of it, the rush of excitement. The thrill of it, she says, is second only to sex.

Continuing on. Avernus, as well as the other layers of the Nine Hells, is not like the Material Plane. The place itself influences you. It means that being in Avernus for any time changes/corrupts/influences who you are. The longer you stay there, the deeper it gets. It did so to Zariel who was a literal angel. Avernus (and it's Archdevil's personality) insidiously get in your body and heart. It is just the way it goes, lore-wise, in DnD. If a fucking SOLAR wasn't immune to it, Karlach - young and lost - certainly wouldn't be either. Even more so because she was near Zariel all the time. I strongly believe Karlach was getting more and more exactly like Zariel - who herself is a fierce berserker warrior who charges head first into battle. Zariel is KNOWN to be this crazy strong, insane, fearless and (in her mind) righteous demon-smiting war machine. Sounds similar to a nice red tiefling we know, doesn't it? Now, did Zariel chose Karlach beause she was already like this, or did Karlach took after Zariel while she fought with her? Hard to tell. In any case, Karlach's 10 years in the Hells did change her. Needless to say, Avernus doesn't change you for the better. It doesn't mean that Karlach became "evil" - she is obviously far from it. But she is chaotic, violent and bloodthirsty. She is also selfish. There are several situations where this personality trait of her comes up.

It may sound kinda wild considering how she offers to help everyone and even sacrifice herself (since she's already dying anyway) - when we meet her. But that's the thing: she is being as selfless as she can now because she has been very selfish for a very long time (proof she has a conscience). Perhaps, she is terrified of what she was becoming and is trying to make amends, to revert whatever evil was growing in her.

She mentions herself that she did not help the tieflings of Elturel when their city was pulled down into Avernus. She did not get out of her way to help them. Instead, she thought that if "she was living that nightmare, they'd have to live it too". She would not put her neck on the line to help another - which, not so coincidentally, is typical behavior in the Hells (again, proof that Avernus was indeed getting to her). The Hag's Vicious Mockery targeted specifically at Karlach mentions how she is willing to "sell everyone's soul's if it means she can save hers". We do not know exactly what it refers to - soul coins, throwing others under the bus, ignoring people in need - but it reinforces the idea that Karlach was not the nicest person for at least 12+ years. Granted, the devils around her were much worse - but they are DEVILS in HELL. So.

Generally, in game we notice that her effort to survive and stay alive has pushed her selfishness to grow. But it still is selfishness. Another example is how she disapproves (together with Astarion), if you say to healer Nettie that you "swear to drink the Wyvern poison". She wouldn't drink it. She'd rather kill Nettie (that gets hostile).

Another hint at her grey-ish personality is when she talks to/about Wyll after he is punished by Mizora for not having killed Karlach. She mentions that she would NOT have done the same in his place. That he was better than her. Again, she would not put her skin on the line like that. She would and has turned a blind eye to situations and persons if it meant it would guarantee her survival or avoid injury. (Mind you, I 100% belive she would do this sacrifice if she was in love with someone, though.)

She will ask to, and will use Soul Coins even though she knows it's morally a sus choice to do so. If you play as her she will repeat to herself "I won't use them, they are people's souls - and I am GOOD." like she is trying to convince herself. Because she would fucking use them to smash some big fuckers in a blink - and feel awesome while doing it. Even as her, she keeps insisting "But... maybe I can use them... JUST when I really need them." Additionally, when she talks to the bugbear merchant in Moonrise Towers and he offers her soul coins, she doesn't really feel guilty for the stories of the souls in them. She even says at some point "they are already doomed, so why not use them anyway", justifying that she will only kill evil bastards with them. In any case, the morality of her choice is debatable. It makes clear that Karlach is not "lawful good" by any stretch.

Let me reiterate that just because I am saying all this about Karlach, doesn't mean I dislike her. I think she is abso-fucking-lutely the best character in the game. But I hate to see her personality "flattened" to nice happy go lucky gal. I think she has a grey-tinged personality - she has good and bad aspects to herself; she has character flaws too.

But I also think that she is trying her damn hardest to be the best she can be right then. The opposite of what she's been. Maybe it is because she has so little time left, that she needs to be the absolute best version of herself while she can. Perhaps she is trying to be what she would have been if her parents did not die - because they seemed like great loving parents. And I think Karlach didn't turn into a broken evil maniac because of them, the way they raised her while they were alive. But she lost her mom at 6, her father around 13-15. After that, it was struggling on the streets, Gortash and Zariel - betrayal, violence, carnage, war and loneliness. It is too naive to think a person would not change after all this, that Karlach would not carry more scars than those she shows on her body. To her credit, she turned much MUCH better than anyone would have. She WILL kill with a grin on her face, seek violence, blood and even revel in it - she learned to relish it and now it's part of who she is. She is selfish, she will look out for herself and has no qualms about killing or throwing people she doesn't care for under the bus (if she sees justification for it). BUT she knows what evil is, and doesn't let shit happen to people who don't deserve it. She will side with those who suffer prejudice and fight against what she sees as injustice - but even she has a limit to how far she'd go.

If you raid the Emerald Grove, she will leave the party. To me, this screams of her trying to right her past wrongs. She left the Elturians to their fate once before, so she MUST save them now that she has another chance - and that it won't cost her her life. I love her being 1/3 brutal killing machine (and fucking LOVING it), 1/3 ptsd, fear and overcompensating trauma under a smile, and 1/3 just trying her best, really, and being lovely for it. Phew. That was a long rant. I guess I just wanted to organize my thoughts about it a bit :V

[modernsuperhero]

Tbh as much as i love seablings i like the idea that lizzie's death has nothing to do with jimmy's curse more. Lizzie's death was her own. If we want to talk about jimmy's curse, instead of lizzie's tragedy, then let's talk about how it was broken on accident.

Consider this: every game has been the same except this one. Certain "curses" are attached to certain people - Jimmy the canary, Skizz the boogey, etc. But not this time - or, well.

Last game was the first time, according to martyn's canon, that two players were so damaged from the watchers' overfeeding on their significant traumas (pearl witnessing scott's suicide, cleo's own traumatic death) that the listeners were able to intervene and temporarily swap their souls out with, ofc, lizzie and gem, to give them reprieve to recover.

I like the perspective that instead of there being one death loop that restarts over and over, there are multiple happening all the time. They overlap. The watchers are of course constantly feeding - and perhaps this is why the members of each loop vary slightly over time. Adding ingredients, removing others, as time wears on. Lizzie was not actively in a loop during limited life - but that does not mean she hasn't been in death games in the meantime. Perhaps even gem has, too, though i believe possessing cleo was her first time.

Also last season, grian was yanked out of his body by the watchers, attempting to remove him from stunting the growth of their anguish farm (making it a game instead of a saw trap, as @stalarys so aptly put it). But he managed to keep his claws in the game, even going so far as to break beyond the literal borders of the game - "we're already dead," as he said, leading the nosy neighbors beyond the veil - because grian is nothing in any universe if not stubborn in the face of authority.

We know from last season that the games are already unstable. The listeners' influence is growing, and grian is proving to be more and more of a problem. (He definitely doesn't know about the listeners' existence, but he's likely unaware of how he may be helping them, and they him.)

Jimmy is not dead first. But he dies so soon after - the second body to fall.

The game, the watchers, the farm - it course corrects when things go wrong.

Grian, who has broken the rules this season not once but thrice - allowing an exception for scar to reroll, even allowing breaking of his own rule on helmets (for both scar and mumbo), and falsely rolling a success last session, is given a chaotic impossible task. (Grian tends to doom his allies - curse or simply bad choices, he is teamed with etho, and their rerolls are entwined. They seem personal, don't they? Etho ran from grian's wither once before. Grian died leading out a warden.) He succeeds, on one heart despite everything, only to be slain on top of the button itself.

He's stuck in spectator. Isn't that perfect? The game, HIS game, GLITCHED. His grip on his in-game body, the part of him he wedged into the mechanics of this death loop, slipped. He regained it, sure, but now he is forced to course correct: he comes back green when he should be yellow.

And grian has just seen the price of breaking too many rules. Jimmy's funeral was too soon. He switches back to yellow, rerolls for his deserved prizes at the cost of his own chances of victory.

(Because victory, while still a goal, is not the point. The point is to break the game.)

(Last season, tango watched one of his closest and most common allies sacrifice himself for his team. This season, he allies with him again. It's ironic that they're giving away their hearts to others - similar to giving away their time. Maybe skizz's death impacted tango too harshly. Maybe his pain fed a bit too much.)

(This is the first season since skizz, an angel, died so full of divine bloodlust that it manifested as the boogey curse, that he has been here and his curse has not. Two curses now, tentatively broken.)

(Martyn feeds the watchers more when he is an unguided hand, wandering and hurting, so ren has not been in this particular loop for a while now. He is available to replace tango, just for a bit, just like how gem and lizzie replaced cleo and pearl.)

Last season, the games finally started to break.

This season, we get to see the cracks.

(The watchers are more obvious this season. The keeper's symbol, grian's lack of achievement entering the end... They're grappling for control as it is slowly but surely dragged away from them.)

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i was thinking about how ariel from the little mermaid is criticized so harshly for "giving up her voice and family for some guy" when there was definitely a lot more to it than that.

ariel had dreams outside of eric. she wanted to see the world, she wanted to get acquainted with humans and human traditions and she wasn't satisfied with her life underwater. that was the whole point of "part of your world", she barely mentions eric in it. he was just a bonus in her new life, not her entire purpose.

why am i talking about a random disney movie? it's because i was thinking of lumity, and how amity also rebelled against her family for a new life. except.. amity really only mentions luz (and "the others" because let's be real, she did not give a shit about willow and gus at that point). amity's sole reason to go against her family's values was luz.

this, if anything, could be considered "giving up everything for a love interest" but people don't see it that way because amity's parents were shitty to begin with. but if you look at the little mermaid from a different perspective, you could argue that king triton wasn't a very good parent either.

he literally throws a temper tantrum just because his teenage daughter has a crush on a guy. ariel is legit terrified in that scene, and regardless of whether triton had good intentions or not, he made his daughter feel unsafe and turn to an impulsive decision in a moment of emotional distress.

all of this to say, you could argue that ariel had no reason to stay with her family either, given that her father lacks emotional sensitivity and does not sit down and try to communicate with his child, instead of destroying her collection and scaring her away.

coming back to amity, i can understand that luz inspired her to actually do something about her abusive parents, and that's sweet. but we never get to see what else amity wanted. since they never established a friendship arc between amity and gus or willow (she apologized to willow, sure, but the rekindling of their relationship happens much later on), all we know is that amity is tired of being abused and she wants to be with luz.

from an abuse victim's perspective, amity standing up against her parents was powerful. but unlike ariel, amity doesn't seem to want anything besides luz. and she never explores what she wants to do, now that she has successfully cut herself away from her mother's influence. her whole life revolves around luz after that.

there was that abomination brawl episode but even that ended up being about luz. the brawl was just a quick montage, it only existed for the emotional drama that came later on. in fact, even when the plot was focused on amity, it was more about her relationship with her father rather than her autonomy and personal interests.

there's a reason why a lot of people liked the mean girl version of amity. she had personality, she had interests and goals, she had CHARACTER. it was all fake and a result of trauma, but it was there and it helped flesh out her character. but after she is redeemed? there's nothing left of the old amity, not even the more positive/neutral traits, and her only personality is "luz's awesome girlfriend".

amity's arc should have been about exploring what she wanted outside of her parents' wishes. abuse often turns you into a shell of a person and recovering from years of trauma isn't as simple as getting a romantic partner. it takes therapy (and that is canonically an option in the boiling isles, let me remind you), it takes self-reflection, it takes giving yourself the permission to choose your own destiny and explore yourself outside of your abusers' expectations.

and amity gets none of this. her trauma and arc was resolved too quickly, even for a show that was cut short. they just gave her a makeover, got her into a relationship with luz and called it a day. the only reason people aren't giving her the ariel treatment is (probably) because lumity is a queer ship.

[silviakundera]

The Princess Royal ep 35 comments

So the writers made a signifucant change here, with having a traumatized, pregnant Li Rong decide to hide the revelation of the past from Pei Wenxuan instead of just having a complete breakdown in his arms.

The adaption has actually been overall shockingly novel complaint (it may be streamlined and less able to communicate complex character dynamics but on the whole the major events all track and tons of dialogue is lifted from the novel)... so I find myself curious about the few big deviations.

Why do I think they made this choice?

Suspense: the desire to create a conflict & tension btw our leads, because by this period in the story they are so on sync and united in purpose that I think the screenwriter is worried that it's too bland (if we recall The Double, some viewers felt a certain malaise with that couple at the end because they just supported each other w no conflict & drama).

No sex : in the novel they fuck about it; not gonna happen here. With all that stripped away, all of the emotional conflicts & resulting catharsis are happening between other characters in the last chapters. So what to do?

Mirrored behavior: I think perhaps we are intended to see a comparison in how SRQ didn't want to tell LR this secret out of protection for her mental health. He would rather be the villian to her who killed her for a blood feud, than see her face the truth. He originally wanted to "fix everything" without her having to know. SRQ is LR's foil. So I can see how perhaps drama writers thought it would be a plausible reaction for LR hide this from PWX and try to "fix it" behind his back, so his hands are clean and HE didn't betray the crown prince. In the drama as she is doing this, her voice over literally thinks that the only person she can trust is PWX. She just wants to keep him out of it. And then says some stuff in temporary anger when they fight about it.

So how do I feel about the change? While I do prefer the novel version, I guess I can agree it's a plausible scenario in the drama - because the drama's streamlining has reduced the emphasis on LR and SRQ standing on opposite sides politically. In the novel, frankly I do not see her joining w SRQ's camp for even 10 minutes. It just wouldn't happen. At this point, sure she knows he means well but they fundamentally disagree on what is the right path for the country. Even a panicking & broken novel!LR wouldn't be tempted to let a puppet Li Cheng take the throne.

But if I keep an open mind, I can see how in the live action version this might seem like a plausible stop-gap measure for LR and then she thinks she can recover and course correct after. I don't agree with the writing choice but I don't HATE it.

I'll be honest - It's hard for me to judge her too harshly for her immediate reactions in either novel or drama because her lament is just TOO SAD. I know she's far from a perfect person, but it really hurts my heart.

novel snippets of her soliloquy:

"Li Rong, let yourself go."

These words were like a heavy hammer hitting Li Rong, shattering her heart abruptly. She wanted to fight back, to retort, but in the end, it only became a rhetorical question, "If I let myself go, who will let me go?"

"No one has spared me!"

When these words came out, she could no longer restrain the pain she had been trying so hard to contain, "Everyone is using me, Chuan'er doesn't believe me and killed me, Shangguan Ya and Su Rongqing watched me die. Pei Wenxuan," Li Rong grabbed Pei Wenxuan's sleeve as she stared at him with tearful eyes, "how do you want me to let myself go?"

"No one believes me, you all think I'm bad, that I'm selfish, that I'm power-hungry, that I'm unscrupulous, that I won't think of any of you."

"So Li Chuan wants to kill me, Shangguan Ya wants me dead, Su Rongqing watches me drink the poison and says nothing, and even you," Li Rong tugged at his shirt with a deadly grip, "do you also think that I'm pushing you now? That I'm slandering your feelings, that I'm suffering so I'm making you suffer too?"

Pei Wenxuan froze, Li Rong lowered her head, she restrained herself, she tried to calm herself down a little.

She had hurt too many people, everyone had abandoned her, she wanted to be kinder to Pei Wenxuan, she shouldn't have indulged herself.

"I didn't."

She sounded dumb, "I just want to, to be nice to you. I want to be nice to everyone, but I can't do anything right."

"I don't talk well, I'm too dictatorial, I'm like a hedgehog, and anyone who sees me thinks I'm bad. I can't even, when I try to like you, do it well."

"I've done so much for Chuan'er," she said as tears poured down her eyes, "but he still doesn't believe me."

"I fought like that for a' Ya and Chuan'er, and a'Ya still gave up on me for the slightest risk."

"I'd gone to so much trouble to keep Su Rongqing, but I still can't live in his heart, he hasn't even given me a little trust."

"I'm not forcing you, I really just want to be good to you, I don't know what to do, I just want you to not suffer a little in front of me. But I still can't do it right."

"I'm sorry ......" she tilted her head to look at him and said it over and over again, "I'm sorry ......"

Pei Wenxuan did not say anything, he looked at Li Rong in front of him, she no longer had any semblance of decorum to speak of. The most wretched thing in life, he's afraid, is her now. Even when he met her in prison, she was fully clothed and tied up, her posture was calm.

*

"...That was the last life, I can ignore it, but just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't care."

"One has to hold the power to have a choice. And when you gain power, it shouldn't be mixed with feelings. I used to talk about liking power, but in fact when I made decisions, I always put a lot more trust in them and was willing to fight for them. So when I came up, I always thought of helping Chuan'er, solving his present problems for him, his future problems."

"My mother scolded me, saying that I was thinking all these things. That the emperor thought of me as a princess, and that in the eyes of the future emperor, I was no different in nature from the noble lineage. I thought she was silly at the time, but now I realise that it was me who was silly."

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I think what's truly horrible, what traumatizes her so deeply, is that this was a long process. LR and PWX remember her descent into chronic illness! How she wasted away as PWX brought her doctors to try to save her. Her brother didn't kill her in 1 momentary act of rage & paranoia. He decided over and over again that she must die and he killed her THROUGH THE GAMES THEY PLAYED TOGETHER. Poisoning the weiqi pieces. All of what she thought were private family moments were the tools of her slow murder.

While the confrontation scene she has together w Li Chuan in the novel was sincerely beautiful and literally made me cry... I SO GET her initial repulsion and urge to walk away.

[side note: I can empathize on 1 thing with SRQ - feeling he had no choice but to watch this cruel betrayal and hating himself & hating Li Chuan more and more as he watches what's happening to her... no wonder, considering what also happened to his family, he thinks of Li Chuan as a monster who must be stopped. Like, I'm not in his side at all because the nobles are fucked. But I do think his beliefs about Li Chuan are like the most normal thing about him. I also see why SRQ hates himself (cause he should) - and why he is increasingly distressed as he sees Li Rong prove in this life how little he understood her and much he underestimated her inner goodness & also her bond with PWX. All the reasons he thought he couldn't risk saving her in the 1st life were wrong. So of course this only makes him hate & resent LC more.]

[silvermaplealder]

Follow The Leader Chapter 2

Y'all are going to have to deal with the POV change, I apologize. It was the only thing I could think of to make it easier to follow the characters as they switch bodies.

Story Summary: David switches bodies with a stranger, Michael Emerson, after a motorcycle accident. Michael has to take on the role of a vampire gang leader while David has to adapt to a domestic human life until they can figure out how to change back.

Chapter Summary: Michael wanted to give Sam a chance behind the wheel to teach him how to drive on the quiet back roads. This goes horribly wrong as Sam doesn't have the experience to handle bad drivers on the road. The life changing event gets a little too literal.

Word Count: 4065

“Michael?” 

The brunette boy looked over to his younger brother. Sam stood in the doorway of the bedroom. “What do you want,” Michael mumbled, throwing down the motorcycle magazine he was reading. 

“I want to go to the boardwalk, but Mom’s busy. Can you bring me?” 

Michael sighed. “Right now?” 

Sam nodded. 

He pursed his lips. He didn’t want to go. But their mother was busy unpacking from the move and he didn’t want to add any stress onto her. “I don’t want to waste the gas on my bike,” Michael said, grabbing his magazine. 

“Mom said we can use the Land Rover,” he pleaded. 

Michael couldn’t think of another excuse. He set the magazine on his nightstand. “Fine, go get dressed.” 

“I am dressed,” Sam argued. 

His older brother raised an eyebrow but shook his head. Michael would never be seen dead in that outfit, but if his brother wanted to wear it, he couldn’t argue. Michael brought his brother downstairs. “Ma, we’re going down to the boardwalk.”

Lucy was unpacking a box for the living room. “Watch your little brother,” she said. “And have fun. You boys deserve it.” 

Michael grunted in response. Sam bounced after him as he took the keys off of the kitchen counter. The brothers went to the SUV. “Can I drive?” Sam begged. “Please?” 

The older brother looked between the keys and the car. Lucy had let Sam drive a few times. He was almost old enough to get his permit. She had told her boys many times about how Grandpa had let her drive tractors and trucks on the farm long before she had her own permit. 

Michael tossed the keys over to his little brother. “Driver’s seat,” he instructed. Sam’s smile spread ear to ear as he climbed into the car. Michael took the passenger seat and made sure to fasten his seatbelt. He trusted Sam enough to drive, but there was always a little bit of fear in the back of his head about a new driver. But everyone has to start somewhere. 

The younger brother started up the engine of the land rover. Sam glanced over all the controls briefly. He knew where the gas and brake pedals were, but he wanted to familiarize himself with the gear shift and the lights. 

Sam launched the car in gear and Michael immediately cleared his throat. “Forgetting something?” He asked, tapping up onto the rearview mirror. 

“Oh, right,” Sam gave a nervous laugh and put the car back into park. He adjusted the mirrors. Michael watched his little brother looking uncomfortable in the driver’s seat. Sam wasn’t too far off from getting his driver’s permit. He never thought he’d see his little brother start to drive. It just seemed weird. He felt like he was growing up too fast. One moment he was Sam’s age and sitting behind the wheel for the first time, and now the thrill of driving has long since passed. 

Once he was ready, they pulled out of the driveway. Michael made sure to check all the lights were on properly as they got onto the main road. “Make sure to double check-” Michael began. 

“I know, I know,” Sam shot back, a bit harshly. He didn’t mean to, but the stress of driving was a lot on the younger boy. He kept a sharp eye on his mirrors and the empty street just in case something happened. 

Michael also kept an eye turned to the sides of the road. He didn’t think there was much that could happen besides a squirrel hopping out in front of the tires. “You just follow this road until we get to the next intersection,” Michael commented. “Then make a left.” 

“Got it,” Sam stated, gripping onto the steering wheel tightly. He went to touch the radio, but Michael smacked his hand away. 

“Focus on the road,” Michael scolded.

The two of them drove through the quiet road silently. The street started to curve and wind around a small descent. As they came around one of the sharper turns, Michael heard the familiar sound of a motorcycle.

Sam came around the next corner sharply, but still on his side of the road. A singular headlight popped out from the darkness.  

Michael saw it before it happened. He sat upright in the passenger seat, watching as the light casually drifted towards them. “Sam..- Sam!” Michael yelled. 

The boy had a white knuckle grip on the wheel. “What do I do?!” He shouted in a panic. He slammed on the breaks, throwing them both forward against their seatbelts. Michael tried to snatch the wheel and yank it to the side, but his hand went into the dash. 

The motorcyclist's face became illuminated by the headlights of the land rover. Even with the braking, the momentum still had them going forward. The biker tried to correct himself, but the front bumper of the land rover smashed into his back tire. 

The land rover came to a screeching halt. 

Both boys were silent. 

“Oh my god…” Sam finally managed to whisper. His death grip on the wheel tightened. “Oh my god oh my god, Michael I-” 

“Sam shut up,” Michael whispered quickly. 

“Michael, I hit him!” Sam screamed. 

“I said shut up!” Michael shouted back, burning both of their ear drums. “Stay in the fucking car.” Michael clawed at the seat belt buckle until it came free. His shaking hands could barely feel the handle of the car. His knees buckled, making him stumble onto the asphalt. His little brother just probably killed a biker. He didn’t have a driver’s permit. He legally shouldn’t have been behind the wheel. 

Michael wanted to vomit. He debated throwing himself back into the land rover and telling Sam to drive off. But he had to check on the biker. If he got hit by a car, he’d want someone to check on him. 

The boy forced himself back to his feet and across the road. The bike had spun out offroad. Michael tried to ignore the blood smeared across the asphalt, but his eyes couldn’t help but look at it. 

It felt like an hour by the time he reached the man’s body. His shaking hands reached out, pushing the biker onto his back. The boy looked lifeless. Michael gagged at the damage to his body. He had no idea how fast the biker was going. Sam couldn’t have been going very fast due to how curvy the road was. “He came onto our side of the road,” Michael whispered to himself, trying to convince his conscience that this wasn’t his fault. 

If he was behind the wheel, he would have avoided the biker. The boy would still be alive. Stupid, but alive. 

He carefully reached into the pocket of the biker’s coat. He wanted to find some sort of ID. He felt compelled against his will to know who this man was. Was he a boy Michael’s age? Hard to tell with the road burn on his face. 

Michael dragged out everything from the pocket. A cigarette carton, what looked like a strange bell, and a lighter. He put the cigarettes and lighter back, but he paused with the bell. Such an odd trinket for someone to carry. It didn’t make any noise when he shook it. 

His snooping was cut short when he heard another engine. Fear gripped his stomach almost to the point of vomiting. He bolted back to the car. He threw the driver’s side open and shoved Sam into the passenger seat. “Move, move!” Michael shouted. The second he closed the door, he launched the land rover into reverse and shot back up the road. Another motorcycle was coming, no doubt a friend of the boy they hit. 

Neither boy spoke as they flew back towards the house. Michael passed the driveway, but Sam said nothing. They drove silently through the darkness. 

Almost thirty minutes passed before Sam spoke. “Was he dead?” His voice cracked in fear. 

“It never happened,” Michael shot back sternly. “You get it? That never happened. You do not mention that to anyone, Sam, do you hear? You’ll be arrested. I’ll be arrested.” 

“But he-” 

“It doesn’t fucking matter, Sam!” Michael hissed back. “He’s dead, alright?” 

Sam went silent again. He knew better than to argue with his older brother. He was terrified about the repercussions of this. Sam was only fourteen years old, he was not ready to go to jail. And the boy couldn’t imagine what it would be like if his older brother took the blame. 

Both of their lives, destroyed in just a few seconds. 

Eventually the boys circled to a gas station. They sat in the car after Michael cut the engine. “We went to the boardwalk,” Michael stated, keeping his voice steady. “You didn’t feel good so we went back home. We grabbed gas on the way. You hear?” Sam nodded quickly. 

Michael got out of the car to fill it with gas. He wanted an alibi. He went inside to pay and then filled up the land rover. Sam stared blankly out the window. Michael could see his petrified expression. The boy was imagining the worst of the worst fate, that was for sure. 

Once the car was filled, Michael made sure to return straight home. When they pulled in the driveway, he looked to his little brother. “Just go to your room. If mom asks, you don’t feel good.” 

“I really don’t feel good, Michael,” Sam admitted, his face pale with his stomach churning. 

“I know, Sam. I know. Go to bed.” 

The brothers got out of the car together. Sam ducked his head and beelined straight for his room. Lucy caught Michael’s attention as he wandered into the kitchen. “You guys weren’t gone very long,” she commented. 

Michael turned his chin towards the stairs. “Sam and I stopped at a gas station for snacks. It upset his stomach so we came home.” He felt sick lying to his mother, especially about killing someone. 

Their mother frowned. “Hopefully he’ll feel better in the morning.” 

“Hopefully,” Michael whispered. “I’m going to go upstairs. Kinda made me nauseous too.” He turned away from his mother. She cared so much about her boys, he knew it would break her heart if she found out the truth. She’d be devastated. And if they got arrested, what would she do? He didn’t want to think about it. 

Instead, he went up the stairs and closed himself in his bedroom. He collapsed onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. He never found out who that boy was. He wondered about the boy’s family. What would they think when he never returned home? Would they be as distraught as his mother would be? 

He couldn’t help but lay awake in bed for hours thinking of the endless possibilities. Around midnight he rolled out of bed and ran to the bathroom to vomit from the anxiety. He hunched over the toilet, his arms shaking. He didn’t know what was worse, the condition of the boy’s body or the knowledge of having played a part in his death. 

His arms eventually caved and he laid on the tiled floor. His exhaustion took hold, dragging him into an uneasy sleep. 

-David -

I jolted awake suddenly. My hands grasped the tiled floor and forced myself up. “What the hell,” I mumbled to myself. A dull headache pounded against my skull. The accident, I reminded myself. I sat back against the wall and sighed. Dwayne must have brought me to a house to recover. Rude that he left me on the bathroom floor, but maybe it was temporary while he went to feed. 

I waited, listening to the world around me. I couldn’t hear much happening. There was certainly movement downstairs, but nothing that sounded like a feeding. I forced myself up. My body ached in ways I haven’t felt in a long time. My muscles were sore. “Fucking regeneration,” I mumbled. 

Something massive moved out of the corner of my eye. I spun around to find someone staring at me in the mirror. The hair on the back of my neck rose and I pulled my lips back to bare my teeth. 

And then I felt something in my chest. A heartbeat. 

The man in the mirror didn’t look like me. While I hadn’t been able to see my reflection in many years, Marko liked to draw portraits of us. And I knew I certainly did not have black, curly hair. 

I started making facial expressions. The mirror replicated everything I did with absolute precision. At first I thought maybe it was a dream, but everything felt so real. The heartbeat repeated rhythmically and continuously. I had never had such precision in dreams like this before. 

In the few times I had gotten completely obliterated and needed to regenerate a large portion of my body, I always returned as myself. Never as a stranger. 

And to add onto that, I couldn’t feel my vampiric side. I tried to force my eyes yellow and my fangs out, but nothing happened. My senses were all dulled. I leaned on the bathroom sink and stared. It was such an unfamiliar feeling, being human. 

My body felt warm. I pulled at the white shirt I was wearing. Warmth wasn’t something I was used to. I usually got my warmth from my kills or whatever radiant heat was in the area. It had been decades since the warmth was from me. 

A knock at the bathroom door yanked my attention away from my reflection. The heart beating in my chest rose towards my throat. I hadn’t felt this anxiety before in decades. It was a stronger fight or flight response than I could imagine.

“Mike?” A young voice called out. 

“Mike,” I whispered to myself. I certainly was not this Mike fellow. I cleared my throat. “What?” I responded. I furrowed my brows. My voice sounded different. 

“Are you almost done?” 

I grabbed the doorknob and paused. This felt like a nightmare, but none of these were my human memories. Either way, I had to keep pushing through. I pulled the door open and was greeted by a young teen. He looked like shit. His face was puffy from crying, he had bags under his eyes, and he barely had any light in his irises. He looked like a zombie. 

I couldn’t even form words before taking a step aside for him. He closed himself in the bathroom, leaving me alone in the hall. He wasn’t one of my boys, but I felt disgusted with the need to comfort him. Every time those damn boys of mine brought home another one who was sick, sad, or miserable I always felt the need to take them under my wing. Perhaps I was too much of a pushover when I saw sad eyes. 

I stepped away from the bathroom door and decided to investigate the house. I poked my head into every room on the upper floor, but there was no one else around on this level. I tried to delve into my memories to see if this was something I fabricated. But nothing here looked familiar. The face in the mirror wasn’t familiar, and nor was the boy. 

The stairs brought me down into the living room. I could hear someone moving around in the kitchen. I padded over as quietly as I could and found a short haired woman at the sink. I watched her grab an apple out of a fruit bowl and rinse it under the cold water. She placed it onto a plate with some other fruit. Her movements were graceful. The sunlight basked her as it flowed in from the window above the sink. 

Sunlight, I thought to myself. If being awake during the day wasn’t weird enough already, there was now sunlight. If I was my usual self, I would have burst into flames by now. 

She started chopping the fruit up on the counter. I backed away from the kitchen and started to investigate the downstairs. I came around the corner into one of the parlors and almost collided into an old man. 

“Michael! Just the man I was looking for,” the old man said to me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and forced me to walk with him. I cautiously tried to sniff him, but my human senses couldn’t tell me anything. “I could use your help with moving something out of my truck.” 

“I guess,” I responded. There was a part of me that wanted to lash out and rip into his throat. But without my vampiric powers, I was afraid of the consequences. 

Consequences. Such a human term. As a vampire I was entitled to kill. But as a human it was considered a crime, and crimes had consequences. 

The old man brought me outside to his blue truck. The truck was old and that was familiar. I had seen this truck before in town. Though, I never cared who the owner was. But I’d seen it driving on the streets. 

He opened the tailgate. The smell of blood hit me, and somehow it felt revolting. I grimaced at my own response to that. In his truck bed was a piebald doe. “Richard up the street saw this on his way to work. Hit by a car last night.” The old man looked ecstatic. “Help me carry it into the shop, won’t you?” 

I grabbed a hold of its ears and tugged it out onto the tailgate. I had never seen a piebald deer in person. Marko would have loved to capture the moment of its death. He would have sat on the side of the road with his sketchbook sketching out the broken corpse with immaculate detail. I held the doe’s face in my hands, staring into her lifeless eyes. “You and I both, huh?” I whispered to her. Only she died to the vehicle. I instead ended up in some other life. 

I got the doe up onto my shoulder with the old man’s help. I followed him to the back entrance of the house where his taxidermy shop was. He helped me get her down onto his main table. The man excitedly ran around the room for his tools. “Where’s your gambrel?” I asked, looking around the shop. It had been a long while since I had to skin out a deer. Countless decades since my own human life. 

The old man glanced over, pausing in his excitement. “Gambrel?” He repeated. “I didn’t realize you were familiar with such things, Michael.” 

“I read it in a magazine once,” I lied, giving him a smile. It was my favorite lie. Any time I slipped up with knowledge I shouldn’t have know, I slapped the ol’ “read it in a magazine” story. No one was interested in pushing about which magazine or which issue. 

His eyebrows sky rocketed upwards. “Well now! If you’re ever interested in learning more, I’d be happy to have you help around the shop. We’re not using a gambrel for this one. No, it would do too much damage to the heel. But if you’ll excuse me, I must get to this beauty first. Once in a lifetime sort of piece.” 

“Of course.” 

The sliding doors to the house pushed open. The woman from earlier poked her head in. “Michael, sweetie, breakfast is ready.” 

My stomach growled at her words. I was hungry. 

“Go wash up first after touching that thing,” she ordered. 

I headed back to the bathroom to find the young teen sitting on the floor with the door open. A big, wolf-like dog sat in his lap offering comfort. I froze when I saw the dog, the same fight or flight response ripping through my body. Boy, I was glad I didn’t have to deal with this sudden burst of adrenaline every time something happened as a vampire. The dog did not respond to me at all. It sat with the boy, never leaving his side. 

“What?” The boy croaked out. His face showed his exhaustion worse than before. 

It took me a moment to calm my nerves. The dog wasn’t attacking me, nor was it being even a tad aggressive. “I, uh, didn’t expect to see you here.” I washed my hands in the sink, but the boy didn’t move. “What’s wrong with you, huh?” 

The look of dread in his eyes told me it was something worse than just getting bullied on the playground. “I’m scared, Michael,” he whispered. “We killed a guy last night.” 

I surpressed my laughter. This destroyed, after killing a man? But the look of grief on his face didn’t falter. I sighed, drying off my hands on a nearby towel. When Paul first turned, he was very hesitant on making his first kill. Even after he fed, he retreated into the cave to sit in silence for hours. His turning did not go as I had intended it to. We rushed into it, excited to make him one of us. He drank my blood one night, and the next we took him out to hunt. He killed without knowing what he was doing. So close to his human side, it drove him mad for a few weeks. But he came to terms eventually, and now you’d never know he was so scared about being a vampire. 

I leaned against the sink and crossed my arms over my chest. “What happened?” 

The boy looked up at me. “You were there, Mikey.” 

“Well, pretend I wasn’t. What happened?” I repeated, more sternly this time. I watched him squirm a bit. I’d treat him like I treated the other boys when they were in trouble. Silence was a powerful tool when used properly. I rose my eyebrows and stared until he eventually started to cry again. 

“I killed that guy,” the boy whispered, trying to hold back his sobs. “And we just drove away.” 

I stayed silent still, watching as he wiped away the tears on his cheeks. 

“What if that was you?” he whimpered. “He was on a bike, just like you.” 

“A bike?” I repeated. “A cyclist or a motorcycle?” 

“Michael please, you were there,” he cried softly. “I don’t want to keep reliving it.” 

“A cyclist or a motorcycle?” I repeated, more sternly this time. 

“Some guy on a motorcycle,” he replied, starting to get a little angry at my questions. 

“Did you see the guy?” I asked. 

“Michael please stop-” 

“Did. You. See. The. Guy?” I demanded. I crouched down next to the boy. 

The boy looked horrified. “Mikey why are you doing this? This isn’t like you.”

“Answer my question,” I said, soothing my voice a bit to ease him into an answer. 

“His face is literally stained in the back of my mind,” the boy finally said, hugging his dog tightly. “He couldn’t have been much older than you.” Tears streamed down his face as he spoke. He pushed through the sobs. “Really light hair. And dark clothes. I don’t know what else to say.” 

I couldn’t help but smile. “And you hit him. With your car.” I leaned my head back and looked at the ceiling. For some fucked up reason, I was now a part of the life of the damn kid that hit me with his car. Was this hell? Was I cursed? I returned my gaze to the kid. “How badly damaged was the bike?” He stared at me blankly. “Repairable? Just a few scratches? Or like do I need a whole new bike?” 

The look of confusion on his face was priceless. I stood back up. “Come on, kid. Get up. You didn’t kill him. You just fucked him over.” The boy hesitantly took my hand and I hauled him to his feet. “You knocked him from one goddamned realm to the next though, so I applaud you for that.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” The boy asked. 

I grabbed one of the small towels from the shelf. I ran it under warm water and squeezed it out. I tossed it right at him. “Wash up. You’re going to show me where this happened. Dwayne spent too fucking long fixing my bike last for it to have gotten destroyed on the road again. So let’s go.”

[flower-of-knighthood]

Bruh, Dimitri is only king because of his Crest, that's literally a case of crests being abused and creating conflict or did you miss Miklan and Sylvain's arcs entirely.

What about Sylvain's misogyny? What about Ingrid's lack of personal autonomy due to being the literal breeding cattle of her family, fed before her siblings.

Yes Hanneman and his story come from Adrestia, but that same shit absolutely happens in Faerghus, we just don't see people like Hanneman or Manuela come from Faerghus because they're fucking idiots with the near sole exception of Annette. Mercedes is Adrestian and a victim of crest abuse, absolutely, but it's not like her current adoptive family isn't sending her to Garreg Mach to find a husband because she has a crest!

Crests inherently create a privilege within their societies, and this happens in EACH country. Just because some of the most privileged people in the entire game don't have a clear cut abuse narrative doesn't mean you're getting the full picture of the actual situation. AND beyond that, crest related discrimination affects the women in the game disproportionately to the men. Which house has exclusively crested women? Which house has LESS women than any other house?

So, and follow me here because I know this is probably pretty difficult, how do you imagine life is for women without crests in Faerghus when we don't get to see them?

Leonie, let's use her. The Alliance has some of the most empowered non-noble people due to their strong merchant class. Who is still crestless and poor as dirt going to the one place in the entire continent that could give her the best education in return for a lifelong debt? Leonie! Woo. Ignatz too is also fascinated with the art and library of Garreg Mach. Why? Because someone banned the printing press to keep the commoners dumb! (That would be Rhea of the Church of Seiros, btw.)

So, rampant sexism, homophobia, a king who even in his best scenario can ONLY marry women who have a crest. Hmmm. Yeah. Look. Idk.

Do you think maybe Adrestia seems worse because the people from Adrestia are actually CRITIQUING their home country? Edelgard, Hubert, Dorothea, and Hanneman are ALL very anti-crest and anti-noble. We hear their stories BECAUSE they are stories of abuse that they wish to prevent from happening. Dorothea extends that same empathy to Bernadetta and Ingrid.

Meanwhile on the flipside, it's pretty much just Sylvain who is like "this shit is fucked and no one is talking about it." Perhaps because they have a culture that doesn't reject is as harshly as the questioning nobility of Adrestia, such as Hanneman who is also attempting to remove the power differential created by crests. Because his sister experienced what was most likely repeated marital rape to produce an heir. Hate to tell you what's in store for Ingrid, Mercedes, and Marianne if basically anything goes wrong. Whoop. There's another one. Marianne. Another candidate for the King to marry and simultaneously another character with a father so determined to get her to marry. Wow! It's almost like the game heavily features the need for women to get married so that can be bred by men purely for the sake of having crest babies and we're literally given an example of what that's like by three major characters in the game. Hanneman, Dorothea, and... Sylvain!

Because guess what Miklan's story is literally still just abuse founded on crests and Edelgard is genuinely sympathetic to what happened to him in game.

Miklan was raised for several years expected to inherit his family's territories then his mother died and his father remarried and this new kid came along and stripped him of all his birth rights specifically due to having a crest. His abilities as a powerful leader meant nothing in the face of his bother's crest. His entire life was stolen from him.

This doesn't justify what he did next, but it does highlight the importance that Faerghus places on crests. Had Miklan been someone like, idk, Dorothea, a first daughter instead of a first son, she probably would have been wed into a powerful crested family to be as Sylvain implies, a cumdump for crest babies. Because let's not forget! Crests are extremely important to the Kingdom (that's canon) and they're becoming rarer. So. How does a Kingdom keep the strong crest lines alive? The corpses of abused and tossed away women of course!

This generation just got lucky with how many of them were crested from the start without much work on behalf of their parents. But it's so dire they swapped crowned princes for it.

Is it really so hard to understand that the Blue Lions only has 3 women in it because the Kingdom is just that sexist? That the most powerful woman in Faerghus is an extremely powerful MAGE who is reliant on sex appeal to maintain her position? Not physical combat, unlike, idk characters like Ladislava or Judith? Catherine barely counts but is still crested and part of the CoS as one of Rhea's pets that she has a life debt over. She literally excels OUTSIDE of the Kingdom.

No the Blue Lions have a mage, a mage, and a woman betraying her family to be there as a knight. And one of the mages isn't an heir, and the other one isn't from the country to begin with. And they're all privileged.

While we're on the subject of classmates, say what you will about Edelgard at least her prisoner from a vassal state isn't codependent. Petra perceives Edelgard as going off the path and is free to side against her. Dedue sees that and decides to jump off the cliff with the insane man who can't do math. And literally desecrate a woman's corpse, but you know. Faerghus probably just ran out of respect women juice during the war due to rations or something.

I mean, then there's the whole disability thing with the "unempathetic" Edelgard.

Okay, so the Black Eagles feature disability with Lindhardt, Bernadetta, Edelgard, Jeritza and Lysithea. Yes, Lysithea counts as she joins of her own volition.

Edelgard creates a new form of employment for researchers who struggle with ADHD and ASD for Lindhardt. She is the literal most effective as helping Bernadetta in overcoming her issues with severe anxiety (something Dimitri goes out of his way to belittle her for having during his paralogue, women, amirite?) Edelgard manages Jeritza's DID as best she can by limiting its impact and trying to structure it productively and also providing pathways to atonement that aren't just punishment. She does what she can to lighten Lysithea's load, but also attempt to ease her loneliness at being the only one affected by her affliction. She manages her own issues with PTSD and likely ASD is you pay literally any attention to how she speaks or makes jokes, which is likely why she's so good at communicating with Byleth. And if we want to go further, and I do. She and Hubert were the first friends that Petra made in Fodlan, and while learning a second language isn't a disability, Edelgard consistently offers her assistance to Petra in her adjustment to Fodlan's way of life and expectations. She approached Caspar with the assumption that he would be disheartened like Miklan about the situation regarding nobility birth order only to find that he was one of those bootstrapping people who didn't care and would just work harder (the kind of person Dimitri criticises Edelgard for assuming everyone is,) which surprises Edelgard because she never thought she would meet someone like that, expecting that everyone needs help and support in order to reach their full potential. Because Edelgard never assumes anyone is born fully capable or strong vs weak.

Which just so happens to be mirrored in Marianne's dialogue regarding Edelgard and how she wishes to be strong like her and change the world.

Jeez, it's almost like the very idea that someone is either born strong or not born with the ability to be strong is literally undone by the failed endings of each character and how they're all supported by Byleth and each individually MADE strong by her ongoing support. Each and every character literally goes through the exact arc Edelgard preaches about when given the correct levels of support and opportunity that she and Byleth provide. Even Dimitri. It's incredible. Fucking hilarious too. That's called a ludonarrative, where the gameplay matches the storyline.

The idea that Edelgard somehow isn't obscenely empathetic when that literally her every interaction with every character she can interact with as a house leader, including those who's perspectives she initially disagrees with (Manuela for example) is just brain-dead.

Here, I'll help. Rhea isn't empathetic. Why? She started a war. Because that's how those two things relate right? No, obviously fucking not.

And the whole Knights of Seiros are helpful actually is just, oh my god. Say Blue Lives Matter. Do it. I dare you.

The Knights of Seiros are useful because they're a standing army within every nation on the continent because Rhea has no respect for the individual sovereignty of ANY of the nations. Not to mention that Faerghus didn't even revolt for their own reasons it was manipulation by the Slithers, so they're hardly staking their country's pride as individuals when the impetus for doing so was corrupt to begin with. Rhea was going to conquer it all when Sothis came back anyway. That's why it's so xenophobic.

Or did we forget that. That Fodlan is xenophobic? That Rhea actively tries to keep cultural influences from other countries out so she can maintain Fodlan as it is, her mother's kingdom.

But yeah, sure. Edelgard who doesn't force those from other countries to fight for her cause, such as Brigid, is so lacking in empathy. So blind to the corruption despite her literal every interaction with her classmates and supports.

"But her actions as the Flame Emperor!"

Oh yeah? Which ones? Because the last thing she did as Flame Emperor was target the casket of Seiros. Everything else was the Slithers going over her head. Not to mention that she was really only enabling the ideas that Lonato and the Western Church already had to conflict the Central Church, she didn't create those for them, they already thought that Rhea was disrespecting the saints, we see that with Christophe. Someone Rhea had killed and then lied about it. Then she massacred the remaining Western Church people, for. Something. I'll be honest, I forget why Seteth went to the coast and killed people practicing their regional sect of their faith?

The Knights of Seiros help people. It's kind of funny. Because they don't have a country of origin, which means they're taking militant forces to be controlled by an external form of government FROM their countries of origins, but only specifically those who are the best and can afford to be there. Which, diminishes the abilities of the other countries, say, like the Kingdom with the absence of Catherine. Which creates a need to call on the Church to deal with these supposed threats.

Like everything in the game and that is related to the church is a self fulfilling cycle. Nobles are made noble by crests, crests are significant because of the church, other religions would diminish the power of the church, the church backs the nobles, so the Seiros faith is taught to everyone so the church stays in power and all the people know how just the nobility is.

Such ethics. I believe the word is indoctrination.

Oh, and since the Kingdom only exists because the church says it does, they have no choice but to back each and every play the church makes, so despite the fact Edelgard only declares war on the Church, the Kingdom, flexing their autonomy, joins the fight to back their sugar mommy. Based on a decision that wasn't theirs to begin with. Sovereignty is fun.

So yeah. The war was for the people who are being abused and tricked into compliance with the only governing body who is providing them with any help even if that helps just reinforces the oppression. Like Catherine and Shamir's conversation. Or the NPCs in Abyss express. Rhea's little pet foreigners that she can make grateful because she isn't lynching THESE ones. They're the exceptions.

It's for the women like Dorothea who couldn't get into Garreg Mach from Faerghus even if they tried. Seriously, Dorothea and Leonie DO NOT have a counterpart in the Lions. Ashe comes close but he was legitimately adopted and a guy. The other women in the Lions are marriage fodder or literally privileged prodigies. And none of them have severe criticisms for their living situation because defiance of their country is akin to defiance of their goddess blessed king who they need to either lie down and get fucked by if they're crested or die for in battle.

But no, I'm sure liberating the straightest most emotionally repressed, and least disability friendly country from the clutches of the church who removed their ability to practice medicine, develop literacy through the accessibility of books, and use their natural resources of oil, had absolutely nothing to do with Edelgard's plans. Because she says something about uniting Fodlan (which since her plan is to undo the Church that validates Faerghus' existence in the first place means that she would be fucking them over and creating a power vacuum if she didn't install a new system of government), a few times as her party line, and is completely independent from all other facets of her character. Heaven forbid anyone takes into account what the game is saying through her supports and actions instead of the nationalist war leader she is forced to play under the scrutiny of Those Who Slither. Or did you assume they added Kronya to the Black Eagles just for fun and NOT to isolate Edelgard from the people who she was supporting and being supported by in turn?

It's honestly like people are trying to misrepresent her, which makes sense for those who support a nation of sexism, ablism and homophobia. It truly is a wonder why disabled, lesbian women from outside of America love her so much and ship her with FByleth, while all the guys and yaoi fangirls go coocoo for the forbidden romance guy who is so centrist and impotent it hurts. I can't think of a better example of defying the status quo and making a change within a single lifetime to better the situation of those around us, vs someone who is so afraid of conflict that they'd prefer to avoid it at the cost of real human lives and then take all the credit when some woman comes along, gets 95% of the way, dies and has her crusade coopted by that centrist who makes minimal and less impactful changes in the long run but still gets heralded as a hero.

I understand the inability to conceive that someone in Edelgard's position might stand up for a non-selfish reason, but that's what happens to minority groups who are backed against a wall and have no options but to lay themselves on the line and hope they can fix it for everyone else. Believe me. I've experienced it personally and have put my employment and education on the line so I can achieve effective change for people like me who can't risk losing those opportunities to affect things.

But for fucking real, she destroys the Slithers, her lineage and abdicates. She wasn't doing it for fucking power and everyone she removes from power, The Slithers, The Church, and Rhea are removed in every single other route too or under new management. (that idk if you've noticed, but religious institutions that persist as major players in government decision making tend to love restricting human rights, especially those of women! That's just a thing that's true in our world.)

If you enjoy any of the endings that also don't respect sovereignty, Rhea's leadership (which she admits was corrupt), or include the existence of the Slithers, then how in the fuck can anyone say she was wrong? Everyone mimics what she was doing. It's all built off of her war. That PROSPERITY is only happening NOW because she started a WAR and effectively killed everyone she wanted removed from power. She fucking always succeeds and Fodlan is ALWAYS better for it.

The game genuinely says that the ends justified the means, every time. Fodlan is always better for the war. That's why Sothis says it's "time to begin" by the way. That's why it's inevitable. That's why you can't go back and prevent the war in any route. Because the game isn't anti-war.

You are always rewarded through acts of war in Three Houses. It's not diplomacy. It's acts of violence and war. The game has a theme of mercy, but it agrees that conflict is a necessity for progress. It depicts the tragedy that progress requires, but at no point does it say it wasn't inevitable. I mentioned ludonarrative earlier, the idea the game says "war bad" but then rewards you with happiness and glory through acts of war is literally what ludonarrative dissonance is about.

The game is about causes, justice and necessity. And that's why no one can point to an ending where Fodlan's future didn't require the war. Sylvain's success with Sreng and removing the crest/nobility system would never have worked with Rhea in charge.

Crests and church bad. Fodlan's sexism and homophobia and ablism bad.

Stop not listening to what Edelgard says and does. She genuinely cares about helping people. If she wanted power, why does she abdicate? Why empower the people? Why leave the church's faith alive? Why educate the people. Why do everything Rhea doesn't?

If you wish for a actual response to your essay, learn how to structure your arguments properly, and most of all stop randomly jumping from topic to topic. If a topic doesn't fit in the scope of your arguments, put said topic in another essay that is more fitting.

If you continue the way you are with how you structure your essays, no one will bother to actually read them, instead just giving your essay a brief look before giving a funny response making fun of your efforts.

[mr-ribbit]

Really hit a sore spot calling your long posts long I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️. Txttletale is the bigot. She's admitted to saying racist stuff before, there's screenshots. That's partially why I don't like the bitch, she's an asshole, I don't care if she's trans. Then when someone says anything remotely negative about her it's all "SHE'S TRANS! DON'T SAY A SINGLE BAD THING ABOUT HER BECAUSE SHE'S TRANS!" and then block your ears when it's pointed out how irrelevant that is for several reasons. So I guess I'm now forced to assume everyone still following/interacting with her after this turn a blind eye to racism when it's against certains groups or when it's coming from a popular person they like. No matter how lightly or harshly someone criticizes her (or someone in her circle), the fucking mob comes out screeching about transmisogyny. Get a new shield.

That's all I can be bothered to say. I'm tired. Maybe you don't routinely die on the sword for her whenever someone brings up her shittiness, but a lot of people do.

again, it's not a sore spot just because I responded to the thing you said. like yeah my posts tend to be long, maybe because I had a lot to say maybe because I ramble. im not mad about it, I just thought it was worth pointing out, particularly when you were telling me to fuck off and mocking me for "caring about people's feelings". did you want me to just like... ignore your ask? do you imagine everything I'm saying is being screamed through tears or something? for context on the following post: I am chilling typing it on my phone and making a stir fry.

you say you don't care that she's trans, but it's literally half of your message. you might not care that she's trans but it's being brought up because of how it feels to be on the receiving end of this type of pattern when transmisogyny is so prevalent and uses the same tactics. it's not being used as a shield, it's being brought up because it is something she is experiencing. if you personally don't think your vitriol towards her (and me, another person you do not know but feel comfortable being kind of mean to) is related to gender, then great. but it's still mean and other people who *do* behave this way because they know she's trans have been saying the same things. so it is possible that her, my, or others' responses are not actually about your extremely specific grievances, but the large amount of grievances being received from multiple places

the reason she's admitted to saying racist stuff before is because she has acknowledged that it was racist and apologized for it, admitted she disagrees with the sentiment now, and illustrated why her post was wrong so that others who had agreed with it would understand. im not gonna speak much on this part because it's not my place to decide what racist stuff is ok to forgive and what isnt and I don't think anyone wants to hear that for me, but I do think that if you think she is a bigot, you should block her account and ignore her posts. i don't really see why you would only bring it up here to shame me, an unrelated person, for defending someone against bullying. it doesn't seem very respectful to the actual people hurt by that post.

also again I'd like to point out that parts of your message here intentionally paint me, her, and more importantly all other people that care about transmisogyny as "a screeching mob". this is the kind of stuff that makes it look like you do actually disrespect trans women / allies. it's the same thing a lot of bigots do when they want to depict someone as irrational, crazy, or otherwise not worth hearing out. even if you disagree with me, her, or others on this, I'd much prefer if you just talked about it rather than tell me I'm screeching and rambling and shielding and doing all of these things that make me out to be less of a person than you. this isn't an accusation, I'm just trying to explain how you're coming off so you can understand why people might still think you're being mean to trans women.

again going back to my post, my main point is the same as yours here: maybe some people here *aren't* attacking certain people just because they're trans. but they're still being really mean and targeting single individuals in a way that is upsetting to me, and feels unfair and immature. and what trans women ARE trying to say is that, intentional or not, it sucks how often it happens to them as a group, and they'd like to be given a chance to explain how that feels more often without being told they're whining, screeching, aggressive "bitches"

also like i am not "dying on a sword" for her, she is my friend who I know is not a horrible person, and so i thought it might be okay to speak up on the matter because I think people are being mean to my friend. sometimes people can talk about things without it being a sword death

[hard-core-super-star]

original shield agent like from old movie yk anyway

they are a bit older than kate maybe 4 or 5 years and she’s afraid t be judged by other avengers and they tease her about that

-🧞‍♀️

i'm going to assume you mean original like in the first avengers movie but feel free to correct me if i understood this wrong lmao [once again, sorry for taking a literal week to write this; also screw the MCU timeline, i'd love to see kate interact with some OG's so they're still alive because I said so]:

you've been working at SHIELD for a while now when you hear the news about clint's newest recruit, the overconfident archer with a tendency to bite off more than she can chew.

you're confused about what the veteran archer seems to see in her until you meet her and you suddenly feel very stupid for judging her so harshly. yes, she's young and slightly immature but she's also passionate and skilled and certainly not the first avenger to pass through with an ego larger than most people can handle. [she's no tony stark, of course, and it's obvious her tendency to be over confident comes from a long list of insecurities she easily hides behind her gentle smile]

so, you decide to give the brunette a chance. jokingly offering to tell her all the best places to hide snacks in at the compound. she either doesn't realize you're joking or is far too eager to spend time with you to care.

you quickly realize you're eager to spend time with her too.

it doesn't take long for kate's excitement to turn into actual nervousness and, despite how adorable she looks, you can't help but poke fun at her for it. mostly because she gets way too easily flustered and the sight is as entertaining as it is endearing but also because she comes up with the most ridiculous responses to justify her nerves.

you've heard everything from,"oh my god, natasha's going to think my punches are too weak" to "my suit isn't anywhere as cool as steve's" and your favorite,"maria's going to kill me for flirting with you."

the last one definitely slipped out of her mouth on accident but you have no problem holding it over her head whenever possible.

[sunny6677]

So decided I'll make an oc instead of a S/I for Inside Out! Jensns

She's sort of based off of my minds slightly unhealthy way of thinking from time to time. And since she's just a way of thinking, she doesn't exactly stay in Headquarters, but she shows up when necessary or if Riley needs her.

By her coming prepared—I mean to basically ensure nothing like Inside Out 2 happens, Logic quite literally invented a jar with a copy/mimic aura of each emotion just incase they get thrown out again—and anytime someone tries to bring it close to the window, the jar will start to let out a comically loud alarm sound. Logic is very protective of it though since she isn't sure which one of them might decide to throw it out next, so as a 'reasonable' way of a solution, she decides to not allow them to use it unless she seems it necessary—and this is sort of meant to be kind of like when you force yourself to feel things?? Sometimes I have a bad habit of forcing myself to feel happy even though I'm not or angry even though I'm not. It's kinda like that jdndnd. And because of the events of Inside Out, Logic keeps a bit of an eye on Sadness anytime she gets close to the memories. And she wants to ensure that no emotion is ever suppressed since they're all very much needed. So she makes absolutely sure each emotion gets a turn, and will harshly get onto one of them if they try keeping one of them from taking a turn—however, she sort of ends up doing this without realizing when it comes to Anxiety. Because irrational thinking and rational thinking don't exactly go that well together lmao. She always shuts down Anxieties fears or predictions with logical solutions or kind of just calling out how ridiculous it is and how this would have happened if that were true or blah blah blah. And she also sort of keeps Anxiety away from the panel anytime she starts to overthink—because if Riley is supposed to be hiking in a literal forest where she probably needs to know what to do in order to even be camping at all, she probably can't think irrationally. At least that's what Logic thinks—sort of commiting the same mistake Joy did in the first movie in the process.

Immmmm—kind of unsure if she should be an antagonist at all since this is just the way my own brain treats my Anxiety sometimes, and I don't know if it's normal. Sooooo—

[papirouge]

Yeah, pretty much like you said, men can be very cruel to each other. It's incredible though seeing certain insults being used so often and carelessly like retard, because I used to hang mostly in female leaning places, like tumblr, where its really frowned upon. On the other hand, in these sites I lurk there's also like gay jokes and even "transphobic" comments, like men freely saying "you cant be a woman if you have a penis", when some of these lolcows go trans or theres suspicion about it. And these comments have a lot of likes!

That's one thing I'll give men, they tend to care less about what others think and there seems to be less policing about what language is used. In female spaces, in my experience theres more judgement if you use certain words or make certain jokes, and you're scolded more harshly because of it.

Another thing that I've noticed from being in these spaces is how much men insult each other based on what women think or like. Like making jokes about how a guy is repelent for women, or making constant virgin jokes, or how their style scream "no women, thanks,", and stuff like that. Also, weirdly a lot of jokes about some looking like sex offenders.

On the other hand, there seems to be a lot of sexist weirdos too. Like sometimes, theyll talk about women who are related in some way to these lolcows, and inmediatly talk about wanting her to open an onlyfans, make sexual jokes, and talk about what they'd like to do to her. And if shes in her 30s, ive literally seen comments about the wall, and how she'll soon lose her worth, and she better worry and have kids or open an onlyfans before she loses her sex appeal.

I do think its funny when one guy states he finds a woman online attractive, and another its like "are you serious? shes like a 6/10 at most, like id fuck her once or twice, but not much else". Like why do you care what other men like in women? lmfao

It's so important that women understand that when men say "you can't be a woman if you have a penis" to trans don't even make that out of respect for women biology, they do that only to be mean. The bar is so low that I've seen gender crit women praise that dude who did the What is a Woman documentary... Hell world.

Men may make jokes about each other lack of sex appeal, but it doesn't mean they really care about looking good for women, but rather bc they fail properly performing masculinity. Attracting women is one of the consequences lf a well executed masucline performance, but not only.

And I've said it a thousand times already: the whole wall thing is men projecting their insecurities. Men have more visible signs of aging : their hairline recedes, their hair turns gray earlier as women, their overall unkeptness is eventually showing (beer belly, ugly skin, etc). Female beauty culture, as toxic as it can be, makes women more appealing longer. That's why men take a diss at our fertility when we age, because women visually look better longer (lack of fertility doesn't show).

Also it's funny to have these scrote soooo concerned about female fertility when they themselves don't have kids and are just terminally online porn fried incels. They are part of the problem. Women need decent men to have kids. Clowning them online for not having children won't make them suddenly hoping on a penis to have one, and if older women don't have children, it doesn't stop these scrotes from making their own families.... It all boils down to shame childless women for *existing* at an older age, and I really have no idea what their endgoal... Oh wait, I know 💡 WOMEN LOWERING THEIR STANDARDS. Because those idiots only think with what they have between the legs and are terrified at seeing older women stop being desperate for family and companionship at older age, like it did a few decades ago. Men are terrified of that dynamic shift and are obsessed in maintaining the status quo.

That new online trend of ugly moids calling "mid" beautiful women is exactly for the same reason btw : PUBLICLY humbling even above average/pretty women, so regular women reading this have their self worth crushed so they lower their standards, and have them dating down (moids).

Please don't fall for this trap⚠️

[ellen-m-ichiban81]

A conversation between Eddie and the 'cool' substitute English teacher who sees potential in him.

Eddie doesn't do homework unless he's forced at gunpoint. To him, it's 'conforming'.

For Danielle Campbell, she's seeking evidence that there's more to this metalhead than appearances suggest.

////////////

'You really have this whole 'I don't care about anything and I'm dumb' act down pat, don't you?'

Eddie smirks at her. 'Who says it's an act, Miss Campbell?' The formality is a sneer on his lips.

Danielle gets up from behind her desk, and approaches the student. She's asked him to stay behind after class, and she senses that Eddie thinks it's so she can lambast him for not paying attention or being loud and dramatic.

That's not why she's kept him here.

'You mentioned Mordor during one of your recent unprompted cafeteria speeches, right? You like Lord of the Rings?'

Eddie frowns, clearly thrown and not knowing quite where this is going.

'So?'

'So...Tolkien is a lot of things, Eddie.' She responds. 'Light reading isn't one of them. Takes someone smart to be able to absorb his world.'

Eddie is looking at her now like maybe this is some kind of trap. But he's also not making fun of her, which is progress.

'Also, I heard you were in a band. You play guitar?'

It's quite obvious from Eddie's increasingly intrigued expression that nobody really bothers to ask him anything about his interests or his passions.

Certainly not any of the teaching faculty.

'Yeah.' Eddie answers quietly; loud, bombastic Eddie Munson has taken a break. 'Corroded Coffin. That's the, uh... that's the name of the band.'

'Cool. Well, being good at guitar takes years of practice. Are you good, Eddie?'

He shrugs, staring down at his sneakers; he seems embarrassed now.

'M'okay, I guess.'

'Which, if I'm translating Eddie Munson speech correctly, means you're really good.'

Eddie's head snaps up, and he smiles at her. It's a little wary, but it's definitely a smile.

Progress.

Now, for the final roll of the dice.

'Hellfire Club.' She mused, and his eyes went wide. 'Your Dungeons and Dragons group?'

However, Eddie seems to retreat a little again at the mention of Hellfire. He glares at her.

'Let me guess,' He said harshly, then, adopting a nasally authoritative voice, which bore no resemblance to her own, he announced dramatically, 'Dungeons and Dragons is a ridiculous and dangerous game, which encourages witchcraft and Satanic worship. It is rotting the minds of our youth and destroying all that is good about our country.'

Danielle promptly bursts out laughing, which only causes Eddie's glare to become even more pronounced.

'Sorry,' she waves a hand at him as she gets her laughter under control. 'I don't mean to laugh, it's just...what could possibly be dangerous about a game that involves strategy, teamwork, adventure, and encourages imagination and innovation?'

She has him. Eddie is grinning now, a full, genuine, if slightly disbelieving, grin. And then she asks, 'I'm guessing you're a bard, right? Or a DM? Are you a DM?'

Eddie actually springs to his feet and claps joyfully, wild mane of dark curls flying around his face.

'You play D and D?? Are you serious right now?'

'Used to.' There's a wistfulness to Danielle's voice now; she misses it, the fun, the adventure, the exhilaration of going into battle together. 'A lifetime ago now.' Clearing her throat, she walks back to her desk, and grabs the homework assignment she's going to give him.

The real purpose for this conversation.

'It's an essay, Eddie. You don't flunk it, you're one step closer to graduating, and I know this year is literally last chance saloon for you.' She hands it to him, and surprisingly, he takes it. No fuss, no arguments.

'You've got a whole weekend to complete it. Two days. You're smart enough to get it done in two hours.'

Eddie makes one last ditch effort, however light hearted, to protest.

'What if I have plans this weekend?' He's still grinning at her, and in that moment, Danielle Campbell decides she likes this kid. All he's ever needed was a chance to prove that he's not a freak or a loser.

She wants to give him that chance.

'Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your plans.' She replies, matching his grin with her own. 'You're just gonna have to not sacrifice some goats to Beelzebub, or dance around a bonfire naked. Or whatever it is you Satan worshippers do on weekends.'

Eddie throws his head back and laughs, and Danielle feels that maybe, just maybe, he'll do the damn assignment.

Maybe '86 will finally be Eddie Munson's year.

[anjumbai]

Officer K.

Movie: Blade Runner 2049 IMDB: 8 Director: Denis Villeneuve Adapted From: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Phillip K. Dick

Contains Spoilers "I'm officer K. I am a replicant and I follow the orders of my higher ups without hesitation. I'm not a biological human. I was designed by humans to follow the orders of humans. I don't disobey them, no matter how harshly I get treated for being a replicant. My predecessors tried to be different, they tried to have a free will. How big of a sin that is. So now, I hunt them down. I'm a blade runner, and I guess this is how my life is supposed to have meaning." Officer K didn't have a monologue. It's just something I imagined him to have to pass through the dystopian society of Bladerunner 2049. It's a megacity with huge infrastructures, technology at its finest, every hedonistic activity you could possibly ask for. But Officer K does not fit in this city, he doesn't even look like he wants to be there. He is the "literally me" character, an embodiment of just one of the lonely people in Los Angeles. He follows orders because there is nothing else for him here. He also has an AI generated holographic girlfriend, who is basically designed to do nothing but love him. It's a life filled with lies, and he just wants to find a truth for him, a truth that would give him meaning.

The movie starts with a scene of Officer K shutting an old free willed replicant down. By shutting down I mean killing him. It's his job. But as the replicant is about to die, it tells Officer K something really unsettling. "Because you've never seen a miracle." This sentence makes Officer K think, it makes him feel something. He later on finds a yellow flower, a flower- something nonexistent in the society of blade runner. This flower may let him find something close to a truth. He finds a crate underneath the flower, which is actually a woman's body. The people in officer K's department think that maybe the replicant murdered her, and then buried her. But after some time, they realized that she died during childbirth. And even more shocking, it wasn't a human woman. It was a replicant. A replicant capable of giving birth.

The movie does a fantastic job of setting up the urge to find the truth for Officer K. His eyes seem dead, but Ryan Gosling does a perfect job in speaking with only his eyes. This movie was really atmospheric, and it wasn't the dialogues that made the movie amazing, it was the silence. It was the eyes that spoke volumes without inching a single word. The amazing soundtrack perfectly suitable for the dystopian society just made the atmosphere even better.

Now that replicants are capable of giving birth and Officer K knew it, he was ordered to kill the child as it can cause a havoc in the real world. Replicants aren't supposed to give birth, or feel happy, or even spend time in stuff that gives meaning to life. Nah, that's another sin. Officer K took the orders, but you can see it in his eyes that he isn't after the child, he was after the truth. What if he was the child?

Replicants are engineered humans with implanted memories, and while every memory they have is also engineered by someone else, officer K had one that just felt different. It felt real. He considered the chance to be someone who was born, not created by somebody else. He sees hope, he finds meaning to his life. He believed that he was special.

But through a series of unfortunate events, he finds out that he wasn't special. He was just unfortunate enough to be implanted with somebody else's real memories. The foundation of meaning, the foundation of something hopeful that he was able to build- all shattered through a short series of events. Officer K was just- us. A terribly lonely man, he tried to cope up with his loneliness through an AI generated girlfriend. How comedic yet tragic that is. It's just like what we do, we get lonely and before we know it we start hovering through sites we shouldn't hover through. It's all a lie. It's all build upon lies, and that's basically how officer K has lived his entire life.

But hold on, that shouldn't be it, right? It wasn't. Officer K, in the end, decided that he won't be shackled to following orders or being lonely. He tried to find a meaning to life. Was he able to do it? Maybe. Otherwise, why would he be the embodiment of a "literally me" character? None of us want to be lonely. It's only when we see somebody break the shackles of loneliness and be free is when we wanna say "he's literally me". We do our best with whatever we're given. We're all replicants for most of our lives, but it's when we decide to be something more than that that we can be something we can be proud of. Something we can be happy about. To every officer K in the world, you aren't officer K cause you're lonely and have no meaning of life. You're officer K because you know there's something better than that out there and you are ready to do everything to get that.

[piqued-curiosity]

“omg how dare you/this other person reblog an excerpt from this book that said this lesbophobic thing”

Very different to pass around a non-homophobic excerpt from a book that said homophobic things from an author that has literally dozens of books essay and speeches, than to pass around an explicitly homophobic essay from some tumblr user containing slurs and tack-standard rape apologia. Are you really gonna pretend you shouldn't get angry and "zero in" on the homophobia even if some good points were made, especially if the homophobia was stated to be the point by the title of the essay?

Kinda too late, since you already said you agreed that homosexuals have every right to "zero in" on the tiring and homophobic aspect of "don't be cruel to homophobic teenagers". In that situation you understood why there's baggage and it's not something gay people can just sit back and take even if there's a good point in there somewhere. I agree btw. If you can understand that, you have the capacity to understand why bisexual women have every right to zero in on being called degrading sexual language, be told they're just like TIMs, and especially being told their rape is something they weaponize against lesbians. This last statement is absolutely standard rape apologia thinly veiled, in the same vein that rape victims are lying to bring down good men, that they're speaking up for attention, that they're just speaking up for political clout, and all the other "you're weaponizing this!" bullshit that gets thrown at SA victims when they speak up. IMO bi women have every right to be furious about this AND zero in on it to, and definitely to criticize people spreading and endorsing messages that contain this rhetoric.

So no, you didn't seem like you were going "yay! degrade those bi women!" but it sure didn't slow you down from posting it, endorsing it, praising the author, saying she's your Andrea Dworkin (weird cope btw), treating bi women like they're homophobic idiots if they have a problem with you endorsing and defending the post, or telling by bi women that it's frustrating they would "zero in" on their degradation, as if it was something immensely petty and unimportant. Yeah some people did much worse things but why does that mean we can't criticize you for being insensitive and dismissive about how you've treated this and the effect posting rape apologia has on the people it's directed against? BTW the reason you get message and other people don't isn't because bisexuals are just whiny bullies trying to single you out for no reason. It's because most of the people in that fucking post have already, multiple times, said they view degrading language against bi women as deserved and don't think it's a bad thing. So there's nothing to argue with them, they're just acting on their beliefs. We BELIEVE YOU when you say you don't support that so we're trying to make you see how, in this case, you actually are being insensitive and cruel in how you're treating it! Doesn't mean we don't talk about the other people plenty and much more harshly.

See, the thing is, I agree with you! Just skimming this, there’s nothing I feel the need to argue with you on.

But where you lose me is when you continue to act like I fully endorsed that post without criticism, which I did not. I reblogged it because I supported the fact it was pointing out a very specific type of lesbophobia that comes from bi women. While reblogging it, I explicitly criticised it. My annoyance comes from the fact that I know what’s wrong with it and I made that clear right off the bat…yet I’m still getting anons about it weeks (maybe even months? Idk) after it happened as if I never approached it critically.

Also I never said “she’s my Andrea Dworkin”. It was just an admittedly bad comparison.

I’ve said all I can about it at this point. Stop pretending I was never critical of the post when I made sure to be clear that I was.