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scary-grace · 7 months ago

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Enough to Go By (Chapter 5) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 5

You end up on a rooftop, you and Tenko and Kurogiri. Tenko has a pair of binoculars, and he lets you look through them before you have a chance to ask what he’s looking for. “We’re in Hosu,” he says. “The current location of the Hero Killer.”

“Are you going to fight him?”

“I’m doing what you said.”

You can’t remember what you said, except for your stupid joke. “Making him unfuckable?”

Tenko snickers, and somewhere behind you, Kurogiri does the same – which is extra weird. “No. Putting us back in the headlines.”

“Oh.” You don’t like this. “I’m not a strategist. You shouldn’t listen to me.”

“Why?” Tenko gives you a weird look. “You’re not stupid. Your ideas aren’t any worse than mine.”

“I don’t want you to get mad at me if it goes wrong,” you say. “I’ve heard you get mad at Kurogiri.”

Kurogiri chuckles. “That’s different,” he says. “Shigaraki Tomura. Tell her why it’s different.”

“Shut up,” Tenko says. He put the hand back over his face once he let go of your hand, but he’s turning red around it. Again. “Kurogiri’s not my sidekick. I don’t have to listen to him.”

“You don’t have to listen to me, either,” you say. “I don’t know anything about being – this.”

“You understand them better than I do,” Tenko says. He gestures at the expanse of Hosu before you. “What would it take to make you stop trusting heroes?”

You already don’t trust heroes very much. What would it take to move people like your parents or your siblings, who live in the other Japan, to where you are? “To see them choose wrong.”

Tenko gives you a curious look. “What do you mean?”

“Heroes can’t save everybody. They can’t be everywhere. They can’t be there all the time. But nobody ever thinks that the heroes won’t choose to save them,” you explain. “If you wanted to shake things up, you’d have to make it so the heroes choose wrong. For everybody to see.”

Tenko’s eyes light up, and the smile on his face this time looks less like your friend’s and more like the villain he’s become. “Then we’re in the right place,” he says. “This city is crawling with heroes looking for Stain. Let’s put them in a bind. Kurogiri, bring the Nomu. All of them.”

“Nomu?” you squeak, even as multiple portals open around you. “You have more than one?”

“We have lots. Sensei only gave me three.” Tenko gestures proudly at the monsters emerging from the portals. Everything about them looks like they’ve been put together wrong, from their staring eyes to their featureless faces to their pasty skin that smells like rot. The news reports about the attack on UA were clear about one thing – the Nomu that faced off against All Might was fast and extremely strong. “What do you think?”

One passes close to you and you cringe away, closer to Tenko. “They’re awful.”

“Exactly,” Tenko says. He stares down at the city, an expression on his face that’s somehow grim and vicious at once. “Let’s see what the rest of them think.”

The Nomus crawl down the sides of the building and vanish into the city. Tenko hasn’t given them orders, and neither has Kurogiri. You have questions – a lot of questions – but you’re not sure what it’s safe to ask. You’re Tenko’s sidekick, but that doesn’t mean his plans are yours to comment on. It feels weird to keep quiet, too. You and Tenko used to get in trouble for talking in class because you never ran out of things to talk about.

“You don’t look weird.”

You cough. “What?”

“You don’t look weird,” Tenko says again. You look at him, surprised, and find him looking straight ahead, peering through the binoculars. “I should have let you fix my shoulder the rest of the way.”

“What did you end up doing with it?” You reach over and part the cut fabric on his shoulder, wincing as you get a look at the bandaging job. “Next time, just let me finish.”

“Can you fix the rest of it?”

“I can’t do more stitches when it’s been open this long,” you say. Tenko grimaces but doesn’t swear at you. “There’s a chance it’ll get infected. If it does –”

“I’ll send Kurogiri to find you.”

“Tell him to give me a heads-up instead of just snatching me. I might need to grab antibiotics and I don’t want to make two trips.”

Tenko nods like this makes sense, which it does, except for the context. You’re standing here on the roof of a building in a city that’s already facing one villainous threat, while your childhood best friend turned aspiring supervillain has just released another – on your advice, no less. You try to rationalize it. Hosu is crawling with heroes, like Tenko said. If they’re good heroes, they’ll divert their attention to protecting the civilians. Heroes fighting Nomus will get Tenko the headlines he wants for the League of Villains, and if nobody gets hurt aside from the heroes who signed up for the job –

You need to be careful with that line of thinking. With that line of thinking, you could excuse what happened to the students during the attack on UA. “Can I ask you something?” you say, and Tenko nods. “Why did you go after the students?”

“I wasn’t after them. The point was All Might.”

“But you brought all those other villains,” you say. “On the news they said that Kurogiri moved the kids all over the training facility so the villains could kill them. And –”

You’re thinking of something else you heard, from Kazuo – that Tenko tried to kill at least three students directly, and All Might’s arrival was the only thing that stopped him. “He was supposed to be there from the beginning,” Tenko says. “All Might. Dividing the students up was supposed to distract him. Split his focus so he’d be more vulnerable to Nomu.”

You don’t know what you were expecting him to say, but it wasn’t that. “Those villains were weak,” Tenko continues. “The brats could deal with them on their own. It would have taken All Might two seconds. But two seconds is all we would have needed.”

“So it was – strategy.”

“Yeah.” Tenko lowers his binoculars, glances at you. “Do you believe me?”

The words leave your mouth before you can think better of them. “I’d believe you more if I could see you.”

Tenko was in the process of looking away. Now he glances back, and you can tell he’s startled, even through the fingers of the hand. You’re not sure what the hands are for. When he attacked the USJ, he was wearing multiple sets, but usually he only wears Father around you. You haven’t asked him to remove the hand before – only asked him where it was when he wasn’t wearing it, and when you think it over, you can’t see any commonalities between the times when it’s off and the times when it’s on. Maybe it’s the kind of thing you can ask about now that you’re Tenko’s sidekick again.

Tenko grips the binoculars one-handed, reaching up to remove the hand with the other. “The brats weren’t the real target,” he says.

“But you still tried to kill three of them.”

“Yeah,” Tenko says, like it doesn’t matter, without care – and without malice. “They were right there, and I thought All Might wasn’t coming. Everybody had to see how he failed again.”

Again? You’re not the biggest All Might fan, but you don’t remember hearing about All Might failing to save children who were being held hostage. In fact, when All Might has to prioritize, he saves children first. Tenko is watching you now. “Do you believe me?”

“I believe you,” you say, and you see his shoulders relax. “You’re not a very good liar.”

He never was. When you were trying to get away with things as children, you did the talking. Tenko’s job was to stay quiet and not make eye contact with whichever adult was questioning the two of you. No matter how desperate he was not to get caught, a few seconds of eye contact was enough to break him. In the present, Tenko smiles slightly. “Lucky I’ve got you.”

You like seeing him smile, and you’ve seen it twice tonight. The knot in your chest relaxes, only to tighten again as a chorus of screams rise from the city below. Tenko lifts his binoculars eagerly and you twist your hands together, trying to contain your unease. You have your best friend. He wants you with him – his sidekick, just like you used to be. You still know how to make him smile. And he’s a villain, the kind of villain who, when his plan to kill All Might looked like it wouldn’t pan out, decided to kill three children instead. What are you doing here?

More screams from below. You wonder how many civilians are being hurt, how many heroes are protecting them versus chasing Stain. You know there’s a free clinic branch in Hosu, one that’s open overnight just like yours is. They’ll be busy tonight. At least you won’t have to worry about them treating injured villains as well as civilians.

Or will they? What are the Nomus, exactly? Where did they come from? Is that the kind of question you’re allowed to ask Tenko now that you’re friends again? “Um,” you start, but he doesn’t look at you, just keeps peering through the binoculars. Sometimes he focuses so hard it’s like his ears stop working. You remember that from when you were kids. “Tenko?”

He still doesn’t answer. You reach out, touch his shoulder, and he startles so badly that he drops the binoculars. If he grabs them with all five fingers, they’ll disintegrate. You catch them for him, since it’s your fault, and pass them back once he’s ready. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s – fine.” Tenko’s shoulder is tense beneath your hand. You’re still touching him, and you shouldn’t be. You pull your hand back. “What is it?”

“The Nomu,” you say hesitantly. “What are they?”

It’s quiet for a second. “Shigaraki Tomura,” Kurogiri warns. “You should not –”

“She won’t tell,” Tenko says without looking at him. He hasn’t put the hand back over his face. “They’re – I guess you could call them zombies. They’re made from bodies. Usually two or three bodies, and three or four quirk factors. It’s usually the same quirk factors. Shock absorption, regeneration, speed. I don’t care if you touch me.”

You’re too busy trying to wrap your head around the fact that somebody’s figured out how to raise the dead to catch the last thing. It takes you a second to get to it, and even then, you have to ask a clarifying question. “You don’t care? Or you don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind.”

Something is wrong with you. Something is really wrong with you that you’re more interested in why Tenko doesn’t mind if you touch him than in the fact that Tenko has multiple zombies at his disposal to turn loose on unsuspecting heroes and civilians. You try to focus. “Where do the bodies come from?”

“I don’t know,” Tenko says. He’s frowning slightly. A moment later, he puts the hand back on his face – but before you can decide if it’s because he’s mad at you, he hands you the binoculars. “Look.”

You look through them. You’re looking in the wrong spot, and after a few seconds of trying to give you directions, Tenko gives up and just covers your hands with his, moving you in the right direction. His index fingers are lifted, protecting you from his quirk. You see what he wanted you to look at quickly enough – heroes facing off against the Nomus. Endeavor facing off against the Nomus. It looks like the heroes chose right.

You can’t deny that it’s a relief. The civilians will always be your priority, and even if almost everyone has a quirk, most of those quirks are useless when it comes to defending against zombies with multiple quirks, and they’re banned from using them anyway. But you have the sense that Tenko’s not pleased, and when you look at him, you see him scowling behind the hand. “They’re making it look too easy,” he complains.

“These Nomu were not as strong as the Nomu from USJ,” Kurogiri says. “You were made aware, Shigaraki Tomura.”

“These heroes aren’t as strong as All Might,” Tenko snaps in response. “Master set me up – again –”

You spot something through the binoculars. Something Tenko needs to see. You push them back into his hands. “Look at that.”

Tenko’s still scowling, but he lifts the binoculars to peer through them. A second later he startles. Even without the binoculars, you can see a dark shape in distant flight over the city, something clutched in its claws. You don’t know who the Nomu grabbed, or where it’s taking them, but Tenko can’t fail to be pleased with that. Can he?

He can. A moment later he swears. “Fucking Hero Killer –”

Your heart sinks. “What happened?”

“He killed it. To save some hero brat.” Tenko’s binoculars are crumbling in his hand. You wonder if he even notices. “Fucking Hero Killer. Fuck!”

You’re pretty sure that’s not the end of the story. The Hero Killer saved a hero, after claiming that there’s only one true hero, and it’s All Might? You slide your phone out of your pocket, clear a bunch of notifications from your friends’ group chat, and navigate to Twitter. Somebody’s got to be reporting on this live, and sure enough, you find “Hero Killer” trending, plus a livestream of Stain’s arrest. He’s getting arrested, and with at least twenty murders under his belt, there’s no way he’s getting out of Tartarus in this lifetime. You touch Tenko’s shoulder again – after all, he said it was fine – and speak quietly. “Hey.”

“What?”

He won’t look at you. “Look at this,” you say instead, holding out your phone. “The heroes got him.”

“So?”

“So that’s it for him,” you say. “He’s going to prison for the rest of his life. All Might’s definitely not going to fuck him now.”

It’s quiet for a second, aside from a wheeze emanating from somewhere behind the two of you. It’s still weird to hear Kurogiri laugh. You don’t even know if he has lungs. Beside you, Tenko’s doing everything in his power to hang onto his scowl, and it’s not working very well. “Is that the only joke you know?”

You feel a surge of relief. “I’ll stop using it when you stop laughing at it.”

You hear the sound of helicopter blades in the distance, growing closer. Tenko can hear it, too. “Kurogiri, let’s go. We’re done here.”

You barely have a second to wonder where you’re headed before the black mist wells up, and you’re not entirely surprised to find yourself back in the bar. Kurogiri’s behind it already. Tenko’s sitting at it, the chair next to his kicked outwards. As you watch, Kurogiri sets two glasses down and lifts an unopened bottle of champagne. He opens it, pouring first Tenko’s glass, then the glass in front of the empty chair.

Tenko glances over his shoulder, spots you, and gestures impatiently at the chair. You sit down next to him and study the glass of champagne. Tenko’s already chugging his, but he stops halfway and glances at you. “Why aren’t you drinking it?”

You could lie, but you don’t want to. “I watched him pour it, and I don’t think you’d drug me. But I still have to be careful.”

Tenko doesn’t look offended. Instead he swaps glasses with you, and Kurogiri makes a discontented noise. “She doesn’t want to drink your backwash, Tomura. Even if you did brush your teeth before we left.”

“Shut up,” Tenko snaps at him. He’s turning red again. You look down into your new glass, trying not to laugh. “I brush my teeth all the time. You’re not special.”

That one gets you. You start laughing, and Kurogiri makes that weird wheezing sound. You’re starting to realize that unlike the villain you met earlier today, who was all over the place, Kurogiri’s got two distinct aspects – one that’s more formal, more severe, and another that’s significantly more relaxed. The second one sounds younger, too, and the impression only grows stronger when Kurogiri speaks again. “If you drink someone else’s backwash, it’s like making out with them indirectly.”

“No it isn’t! I didn’t ask you!”

Tenko is bright red and sputtering, and Kurogiri’s yellow eyes are crinkling, almost the way a person’s would. It occurs to you what this aspect of Kurogiri reminds you of – a sibling. You teased your younger siblings the exact same way, when you could get away with it. Well aware that you’re making some kind of statement about the whole thing, you pick up the glass that used to be Tenko’s and take a small sip. It doesn’t taste like anything but champagne.

When you look up, you find Tenko and Kurogiri watching you. Staring, more accurately – Tenko’s jaw is dropped. You will your face not to flush. “Thanks for switching with me. As long as you don’t pass out in the next half an hour, we’re good to go.”

“So you have to stay at least that long.”

He doesn’t want you to leave. You take another sip of champagne, giving yourself time to get under control. You don’t want Tenko to know how pleased you are with the thought, or how ambivalent you are at being pleased by it. “I guess I do.”

You stay for another hour and a half, reading over the news coverage of the Nomu attack and the Hero Killer’s capture until you can barely keep your eyes open. But you have an early morning, and even though Tenko complains that you have to go and makes fun of you for agreeing to take Yoshimi to her appointment, he doesn’t suggest that you back out of it. As Kurogiri is determining where to set a warp gate to send you back to Yokohama, you ask him why not.

Tenko gives you a weird look. “I know you,” he says. “That’s not who you are.”

He’s right. It isn’t. And as much as you’re pleased by the thought that your best friend still knows you after all these years, the disquiet lurking underneath it follows you home, curls up on your chest as you try to fall asleep. You’re not the kind of person who’d turn your back on a friend, or go back on your word once you’ve given it. But apparently you’re the kind of person who watches a villain turn monsters loose on innocent people and does absolutely nothing to stop him.

You might have made your choice already. You might have stepped over the line. But you have a bad feeling that you’ll be looking back over your shoulder at it until it’s vanished over the horizon, knowing you made the wrong call and knowing deep in your bones that there’s nothing else you could have done.

You’ve done basically nothing, but you still get the sense that you’re leading a double life. You comfort yourself with the thought that even if you went to the police, you’d have nothing useful to tell them. You don’t know where Tenko’s hideout is. You don’t know anything about who makes the Nomus or where they’re hidden. You don’t know anything about Kurogiri except that it seems like there are two personalities in there, and what Kazuo said about his quirk not being natural. You’re still not sure what Kazuo meant by that. Just like you’re not sure who Tenko’s master is.

The things you know would be absolutely useless to them. You know that Tenko recovered from his USJ injuries only to get immediately slashed up by Stain. You know Tenko likes champagne but can’t hold his liquor for shit. You know he’s smart and strategic, a lot more than the news gives him credit for, which is bad for them and probably also bad for you. You know he likes video games more than he did when he was a kid, but he likes you just as much as he did back then. You like him just as much, too. Probably too much.

You haven’t seen him again since that night in Hosu. You know he’ll send Kurogiri to find you if he needs you, and the fact that he doesn’t need you means he’s not getting hurt. But you’re watchful anyway. No matter where you’re walking, day or night, you find yourself keeping a close eye the shadows, watching from your peripheral vision in case one of them hides a warp gate. Or better yet, hides Tenko.

“Hypervigilance,” Kazuo remarks when he catches you at it, one partly cloudy day in early June. “A hallmark of traumatic stress. You could benefit from counseling.”

“It’s not wrong to be wary,” you say. “Things are more dangerous than they used to be. Don’t you feel it?”

“Another hallmark of PTSD. Persistent, negative cognitions about yourself, others, or the world, exemplified by statements like The world is more dangerous than it used to be.” Kazuo can be a real asshole sometimes. “But you’re correct. Crime rates have steadily increased as All Might’s taken a step back from the public eye.”

“You really think it’s All Might?” You glance sideways at Kazuo. “Not the League of Villains?”

“The League of Villains is a symptom,” Kazuo says. The two of you got to the park early; the rest of your friends are running late for your meetup. “I looked into the backgrounds of those who were captured in the attack on USJ. For the most part, I found petty crime – thievery, fleeing from the police, physical violence committed in the course of fleeing a crime scene or an altercation with heroes.”

That tracks with the kind of villains you run into at work. Most of them have done next to nothing to earn the title. “Looking back further,” Kazuo continues, “I found poverty, substance abuse, quirk-based discrimination, childhood trauma. There were some among the criminals at USJ who sought violence specifically and consistently from an early age, but for the majority of them, it was far from inevitable that they would become criminals. It could have been otherwise.”

Thinking about what’s going on with Tenko, you’ve gotten in the habit of playing devil’s advocate. “And that’s on All Might? One hero can’t fix poverty, or childhood trauma –”

“No, they cannot. But the presence of heroes gives everyone else an excuse not to try to fix anything,” Kazuo says. He gives you a look. “There will always be some villains. The existence of enough villains to allow your friend to form a League of them means that society is failing.”

“You’re not wrong,” you say. Usually when you admit that Kazuo’s right, he moves on, but this time he keeps looking at you. “What?”

“At least try to deny it,” Kazuo says, and you know what he’s talking about. “One day I won’t be the one asking.”

You know he’s right, but as much as Tenko occupies your thoughts, you don’t have much time to dwell on him on a daily basis. Yoshimi’s sick, cancer in her lymphatic system, and with her family out of the picture and her shitty boyfriend dumping her the second he found out, you and your friends are on overdrive trying to support her. Since you’re the only one who works in the field, a lot of the daily stuff is falling on you. You’ve been taking some shifts at the central clinic so you can check in on her while she’s there for treatments, and since the high school students are all studying for their medical assistant exams, you’ve been grabbing fill-in night shifts at your regular clinic at the same time. You’re getting four hours of sleep a night, if that.

You’re exhausted. So exhausted that, when the shadows in the corner of your vision turn out to be mist as you’re walking home from the park, you keep walking straight into Kurogiri’s warp gate without a second thought.

When you arrive in the bar, Kurogiri seems surprised to see you. “I thought you might run.”

“I’m too tired to run,” you say. “Does he need me?”

Kurogiri nods, as much as a person with mist for a head can nod. “Follow me.”

You balk when you realize where you’re headed. “He doesn’t want me in there.”

“He asked me to bring you there specifically,” Kurogiri says. “Don’t worry. He’s cleaned.”

“Oh.”

The door to Tenko’s room is open, but Kurogiri knocks anyway. “Shigaraki Tomura, the girl –”

“You’re here.” Tenko appears suddenly in the doorway, the hand clamped over his face. “That was fast. You didn’t run away?”

“What kind of sidekick runs when their boss calls?” You look Tenko over. “Kurogiri said you needed me. Are you hurt?”

“My shoulder’s a mess,” Tenko says, unconcerned. “I needed to talk to you. Come in.”

He takes a few steps back, leaving room for you to step through the door. The memory of how Tenko reacted last time is still fresh in your head, and based on Tenko’s expression, he can tell. “I cleaned it,” he says impatiently. “Come in.”

In spite of the fact that your best friends have usually been boys, you haven’t spent a lot of time in boys’ rooms. The ones you have been in aren’t exactly standard. Kazuo’s room looked like an interior design magazine spread even before his mind snapped, so minimalist it was hard to imagine anyone actually living there. Sho’s room looks more like a girl’s room than yours does. Tenko’s room back when you were kids just looked like a kid’s room. Like how you would have wanted your room to look if you weren’t already sharing it with two siblings.

Tenko’s room, compared to the last time you saw it, is no longer filthy. You can see the floor, at least, and some rearranging has occurred. The desk and monitor setup has been shifted unceremoniously into one corner of the room, and on the wall where it previously sat is a flatscreen TV. You can see that it’s hooked up to a router, as well as a cable or smart TV box, and there are a few consoles and controllers strewn around nearby. Across the room from the TV is a coffee table. And behind that, a bed.

You gesture at it. “Was this here before?”

Tenko doesn’t answer. “Kurogiri, go,” he orders, and you glance over your shoulder just in time to see Kurogiri vanish from the doorway. “Sit down.”

You sit down on one end of the bed and Tenko sits on the other. He slides a collection of games across the coffee table to you. “I like all of these. You can pick which one we play first.”

“I’m not good at games.”

“I’ll teach you what you need to know,” Tenko says. He pushes the games at you again. “Pick.”

You start sorting through the games, searching in vain for any title you know while you try to shift the subject back into reasonable territory. “You said something was wrong with your shoulder. Can I look at it?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“You said it was a mess,” you point out. “Let me see.”

“Pick a game and then you can see it.”

You see exactly one title you know – Call of Duty. You hold it up and Tenko frowns. “We can play that one for a bit. In co-op mode. But after that –”

“Show me your arm.”

Tenko scowls, but he moves from the other end of the bed until he’s within reach. He’s wearing a short-sleeved shirt, oversized to the point where you can draw the neckline aside and reveal the wound. It’s clear that the stitches have been disturbed. The wound site is red and angry-looking and you can see scratches around it. There should be a scab on the part that Tenko wouldn’t let you stitch, but it’s clearly been peeled away. It’s either infected already or about to be, and either way, the healing process is going slower than it should be. A surge of frustration sweeps over you.

You look up at Tenko and find him watching you, unrepentant. “What?”

“You were scratching this.”

“It itched,” Tenko says. He gives you a weird look. “You never said not to.”

“I didn’t think I had to say not to scratch your open wounds.” Your frustration seeps into your tone. “You should have sent Kurogiri to get me as soon as the swelling started.”

“I tried. You’re always busy.” Tenko’s voice takes on the quality of a sneer. “Kurogiri’s been watching you for three days. You’re at that other clinic with that girl all the time.”

He didn’t use to be like this. He didn’t use to be jealous. “She has cancer. She needs someone –”

“She has other friends and doctors and parents and some loser boyfriend somewhere,” Tenko says. You start to argue that Yoshimi doesn’t have a boyfriend, courtesy of said boyfriend being a loser, but Tenko cuts you off. “She has lots of people. I only have you.”

He has Kurogiri, his master, the doctor, the Nomu – or does he? Shigaraki Tomura has those people. Tenko only has you. You peel your eyes from the angry mess Tenko’s wound has become and look up at him. “If I had known you needed me, I’d have found a way to be here. You’re my best friend.”

“I know. I –” Tenko breaks off, frustrated. “I didn’t mess with it so you’d come back.”

“I didn’t think that,” you say. “I know you scratch sometimes. It seems like less than before.”

“Only when you’re here.” Tenko shifts in his seat. You’re about to tell him he shouldn’t worry about that when he speaks again. “I feel different when you’re here. Can you fix it?”

“I’ll need to take the stitches out and clean it before I bandage it up again, but yes.” You look around for the medical supplies and Tenko pries open a drawer full of them. “Then we can play the game.”

“I can’t believe you like Call of Duty.”

“It’s just the only one I recognize,” you admit, and Tenko laughs. You like hearing him laugh. “Get ready to lose all respect for me. You might want a better sidekick.”

“I don’t need a better sidekick,” Tenko says. “I’m good enough for both of us.”

Warmth floods through you, pooling in your cheeks and your chest and the pit of your stomach. He remembers. You pull on a pair of gloves and open the suture kit. The sooner you rebandage his wound, the sooner you can play a game with your best friend for the first time since you were kids.

But after you’ve taken out the stitches, as you’re bandaging his shoulder, you notice something. The other times you’ve seen Tenko and treated his wounds, he’s been wearing long sleeves, and when you’ve cut them to get a look at the injuries, you haven’t paid much attention to whatever else might be underneath them. Now, with his arms exposed by design, you can see things you didn’t before. Tenko’s always scratched. After fifteen years of scratching he’d naturally have scars. But when the two of you were kids, you never saw him scratch his forearms. And you’ve never seen scratches look so uniform, so evenly spaced. You’ve seen things that look like that before. They weren’t scratches.

You look up and find Tenko looking at you already. “Sensei had me do them. So I’d be stronger,” he says. Your heart seizes in your chest. “Not in a while, though. When I got strong enough he let me stop.”

“That’s messed up.” You’ve been careful not to speak against Tenko’s master, not when you know so little about him, but you can’t hold back this time. “Hurting yourself doesn’t make you stronger. It just makes you hurt.”

“What would you know about it?”

“Lots. I see it every day.”

Tenko gives you a look that tells you just how little he thinks of whatever you’ve seen, and you lose patience. You let go of his arm and pull up the sleeve of your own short-sleeve shirt. “I don’t mean at work.”

Tenko’s jaw drops behind the hand. “Who made you do that?”

“Nobody made me. I did it myself, which makes me a lot dumber than you,” you say. Tenko’s lines are even. Yours are jagged, because you were angry or crying or hurrying to finish up before one of your siblings needed the bathroom or your mom came back to keep arguing with you. “Was your master trying to make you stronger? Or was he trying to teach you not to show when something hurts?”

Based on the way Tenko’s red eyes flash, you know you’ve hit the nail on the head. “What were you trying to do, then? When you were being dumber than me?”

You were being really dumb. So dumb that it’s embarrassing to talk about. “It’s a reset, biologically. Injuries force the body to release endorphins, which make you feel better for a little bit. There was a while where I had trouble controlling my temper. It helped me do that. Or at least not show it.”

“A while,” Tenko repeats. “You should have had trouble the entire fucking time.”

“I did,” you admit after a second. “You used to tell me it wasn’t okay, what my family was like. It took a while to believe you.”

Half the reason you didn’t believe Tenko was because you knew his family was messed up, too. No matter what else your dad did, he didn’t scream at you or lock you outside without dinner. But as you got older, you realized why your parents didn’t do that: They needed you too much. They needed your help with the extra kids they shouldn’t have had, and the older you got, the more it started to infuriate you.

You saw evidence of it everywhere, in places it was and places it wasn’t. They didn’t wipe your memory because they cared that you were upset about your missing friend, they did it because they needed you to be quiet and helpful instead of sad. They didn’t let you choose your favorite snack or go to a birthday party once in a blue moon because it was the fair thing to do, they did it so you wouldn’t complain about all the times you weren’t allowed to. They promised they’d make it up to you every time they shorted you in favor of your siblings with quirks, hoping the apology would make you forget. By the time you were fourteen, you weren’t forgetting anymore.

Tenko’s watching you from behind the hand, but you don’t want to be watched right now. You focus on placing the bandage. Maybe if you do that, you can pretend this isn’t happening. “What happened?” Tenko asks. “With your family.”

“Nothing,” you say. Nothing like what happened to his. “They’re out there. They call me on my birthday. Every so often they ask me for money. Do you really want to talk about this?”

Tenko doesn’t follow up. On that, at least. Three of his fingers brush across your exposed upper arm and it takes every ounce of self-control you have not to jump out of your skin. “These are old, right?”

“Not as old as yours,” you say. “They aren’t recent, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I stopped, so you should, too.” Tenko’s palm covers your upper arm for a moment, then lifts away. “It wouldn’t kill you to control your temper less, anyway. When was the last time you got really mad?”

“Three days ago. Yoshimi’s boyfriend ditched her, so I called him and lit his ass up.”

“Sure you did. I bet you never raised your voice,” Tenko says. You look up, offended. “You probably sounded like some kind of evil shrink, telling him what a piece of shit he is and how you understand that he can’t help being an asshole but it would probably be best for everybody if he took a long walk off a short ledge –”

He’s mimicking the soft, semi-conciliatory tone you use when you’re trying to de-escalate a situation, looking at you from behind the hand with a smirk on his face. You’d get mad, except it’s a pretty accurate imitation, and you like the thought that he knows you well enough to pick on you like this. “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about getting really mad. Really losing control. When’s the last time you did that?”

You can’t remember. You shrug helplessly. Tenko heaves an exaggerated sigh. “It’s a good thing we’re playing Call of Duty next. If getting your ass kicked in a video game can’t wind you up, nothing will.”

It’s been a while since you played an actual video game. You were bad at it then, and you’re really bad at it now. Tenko makes you play a round in single-player mode to see what you’re good at and where you’re weak, and he spends the entire time laughing so hard that you’re worried he’s going to dislocate a rib or fall off the couch. It takes you way too long to hide away from the enemies onscreen long enough to ask Tenko a question. “What’s so funny? I know I’m not doing it right –”

“You’re just –” Tenko wheezes, then makes an effort to get it together. “Up here in the corner of your display is the map. The dot is where you are. And then everything in front of you is your point of view. That’s why it’s called a first-person shooter.”

“I know,” you say. “The display –”

“You control that on this side of the controller. And that’s where your trigger is, too. The other side handles motion,” Tenko says. His shoulders are twitching, like they do when he’s trying to hold in his laughter. “I’ll watch the map for you. Just go where I tell you to go.”

“Okay.” You adjust your grip on the controller and prepare to be humiliated.

Tenko directs you to move straight forward, which you do. Then you make a left turn and jump up on a crate for a better firing angle, at which point someone shoots at you. “Shoot back,” Tenko orders. You press the trigger. “Nice work. Okay, now jump off the crate and –”

You jump off the crate as requested, but then you get your buttons jumbled, and instead of running in the direction Tenko told you to run, you find yourself bumping into the wall repeatedly with your viewpoint stuck directly upwards. “Tenko –”

Tenko is howling with laughter again. The hand dislodges and falls off his face, and you see his eyes crinkling at the corners, his smile just a little too big. Some girls in your class said his smile was creepy, but you always liked it. You liked that you always knew which of his smiles were faked and which weren’t. “I’m stuck,” you say, and he laughs even harder. “What did I do?”

“If you were doing what your character is doing right now, you’d be doing this.” Tenko mimics pointing a gun straight up at the sky, and suddenly you get why he’s laughing. “You’ve been running around like this –”

No wonder you keep running into walls. Now you’re laughing, too. “You weren’t kidding,” Tenko says, shaking his head. “You really are terrible at it.”

You set the controller aside and wipe your eyes. “You sure you don’t want a different sidekick?”

“I have the sidekick I want.” Tenko glances at you, almost shyly. “We’ll need allies, though. I want you to meet them.”

Your stomach lurches. “Do you have them already?”

“One of the brokers is bringing them. He finds them through the black market.” Tenko sets the controller back down in your hands, adjusting your fingers to the right buttons. Then he unpauses the game. “Once I have them all – go right. No, your other right. Once I have them all, I want you to meet them. I need them to work together, and to stay calm instead of fighting each other. You’re good at getting people to do that. Watch out, there are – nice work.”

He’s giving you a strange look. “What?” you ask. “I didn’t get killed yet.”

“You’re better at shooting people than running around. That’s weird.” Tenko’s expression stays odd for another moment; then he grins. “Works for me, though. As long as you don’t mess with your viewpoint too much, we can play together.”

“Works for me.” You’re still going to be pretty useless, but at least you can protect Tenko’s back. That’s more than you’d be able to do in a real fight. The thought kicks off a flood of anxiety, and before you can stop yourself, you find yourself speaking out loud. “Tenko –”

He pauses the game mid-switch to co-op mode. “Yeah?”

“I don’t know if I can help you the way you need me to,” you say. He gives you a skeptical look. “Medical stuff is one thing. I’m good at that. If your allies need help with that, I’ll help them, too. But the rest of it, I’m not – planning, getting people to follow you –”

“I can do that part. But villains fight all the time. Like kids do,” Tenko says. He smiles slightly. “If you can handle me, they’ll be easy for you.”

“But I know you,” you say. “It’s different.”

“So you’ll get to know them, too.” Tenko’s confident, just like you remember him being. Once he’s decided how something will be, it’s hard to shake him. “Come on. Let’s clear this level.”

It’s an easy level, or you think it’s supposed to be. You spend most of your time running backwards, keeping one eye on the map so you don’t lose track of Tenko and the other eye out for enemies of any kind. On reflection, you do think your accuracy with shooting is a little weird. Between this level and the next one, you rack up a decent number of kills. “You’re already getting better,” Tenko says, grinning. “I bet we can beat this thing if we keep playing.”

“I’d like that,” you say – but you’re still thinking about Tenko’s semi-crazy idea that you meet a bunch of villains for crowd control. “About the allies – you trust me, but they won’t have any reason to. I’m still a civilian.”

“You’ll need a disguise,” Tenko says, which wasn’t what you were hoping he’d say. “Something that hides your face. “If any of them have a problem with you, they can take it up with me.”

You don’t know what to say to that. The idea of Tenko getting into it with other villains over you makes you feel sick. “I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I don’t want you to get hurt at all. You’re my best friend.”

“I’m not your boss,” Tenko says, which doesn’t make any sense. Your confusion must show on your face, because Tenko elaborates. “Earlier. You said sidekicks don’t run from their bosses, but I’m not your boss. I don’t want to be your boss. I want –”

He breaks off, clearly struggling with what to say. There’s a patchy flush coming up in his cheeks, and you see his hand rise, twitch toward his neck – then fall back. “I don’t want to be your boss,” he says again, looking everywhere but into your eyes. “I want – you should –”

“Shigaraki Tomura.” Kurogiri’s voice issues from behind you, and you and Tenko both jump. “Your master wishes to speak with you. You are overdue.”

“Shit,” Tenko mutters. His grip on the controller tightens, and you lift it out of his hands before all five fingers can touch it. “Where’s – I need –”

“Here.” You pick up the hand from the floor and pass it to him, feeling a chill go down your spine as you touch it. “Go talk to him. It’s okay.”

“I’m late. It isn’t.” Tenko settles the hand back over his face. His free hand rises again, clawing at the side of his neck, and something about the image, the situation, feels uncomfortably familiar to you. “I’ll send Kurogiri to get you again soon. For another date.”

“This was a date?”

“Of course it was.” Tenko gets up, heads for the door. “Remember. Find a disguise. I’ll see you soon.”

He’s gone, and a second later, so are you – Kurogiri drops you in an alley off the street you were walking on. He lingers for a moment, and the question explodes out of you. “It was a date?”

“I told him it’s not a date unless both people know it’s a date.” Kurogiri looks vaguely uncomfortable, and his voice is in the other register – the one that sounds more like an older brother than a servant. “Next time I’ll tell him I can’t find you.”

“Don’t do that,” you say at once. Even reeling like you are now, you’re sure that you want to see Tenko again. “Just – warn me, if you can. If it’s a date or something else.”

“I can do that.” Kurogiri vanishes, but his voice lingers for a moment more. “You protect him, too.”

What does that mean? Maybe it means that Kurogiri sees you like he sees himself – a protector of Shigaraki Tomura, although if there’s anyone you’re trying to protect, it’s Shimura Tenko, your best friend. Your best friend, who’s in a lot more trouble than you thought he was.

You’re standing in the middle of an alley. You need to get moving before someone peeks in here and starts asking questions. You slide your phone out of your pocket, raise it to your ear, and lower it as you step back out into the flow of traffic on the sidewalk, like you were taking a call that just ended. Your apartment’s not far away, so you’ll get there, and then you can think about all of this. The villains – the date – the scars on Tenko’s arm that look too much like yours – the scratching that didn’t start until after the hand covered his face. The hand he calls Father.

And that’s when you realize what it reminded you of, what happened when Kurogiri told Tenko his master was waiting for him. He was himself when you spoke to him, even after he put the hand back over his face – right down to how he reacted when his master called for him. Because his reaction looked the same as his reaction to his father calling for him when the two of you were kids.

You had a bad feeling about Tenko’s master, and now it’s worse. You have a bad feeling about what your involvement with Tenko means now, because he wants you to back him up when it comes to dealing with other villains, to take the de-escalation and conflict resolution skills you learned the hard way and put them to use keeping a band of villains together under Tenko’s control. You have a bad feeling because Tenko’s told you to find a disguise, to hide your identity like the villain you aren’t. You aren’t a villain. Are you?

Maybe you aren’t a villain – yet, a voice in your head whispers, you aren’t a villain yet – but there’s something wrong with you. There must be. Because knowing all that, knowing that you’re getting drawn further into Tenko’s plans, doesn’t do a thing to dampen your excitement at the thought that he wants to go on dates with you. That he likes you. That your best friend, who you always thought you’d have developed a crush on if the two of you had gotten to grow up together, might feel the same about you as you do about him.

#shigaraki tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x you #shigaraki tomura #x reader #self insert #reader insert #please hold

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sumicchin · 5 months ago

Text

CHIMES OF THE HEART

❃ a wind breaker (satoru nii) reader insert

Chapter 6

Umemiya regrets telling everyone that conversation = fist fight. (1.9k words)

cw: female reader, umemiya spoiler, tsubakino referred to as they/them, i made up stuff about makochi

"You're just going to let her go, Sakura?" Suo says next to him, eyes not tearing away from the direction you went.

Sakura clenches his fist, forehead scrunching from the sudden stress, "I..."

"(F/n) probably won't go out of town, r-right? She did say she had to find something! I'm sure we can help her out!" Nirei optimistically says as he catches up to the two after giving Kakiuchi to his other classmates. He takes a good look at Sakura's face and sees his eyes wide.

Sakura is reminded of your conversation last night—of how he saw himself in you, and how much pain your eyes held.

It wasn't his concern, but he knew you needed help. He wasn't letting anyone go through what he did before.

"Sa...kura?" Nirei attempts to calm him down, until he sees Sakura take out his phone.

He gestures his hand towards the phone and Nirei becomes even more confused, "I need to call him... he'll know what to do."

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

Umemiya, despite his childhood, grew up to be a fine man. No one would imagine that a well-rounded guy like him, oh so cheery and charming, experienced hell on earth as a child. Anyone would feel bitter about losing their parents, and Umemiya was not free of that. He struggled, thinking he wasn't deserving of being saved.

Survivor's guilt.

But he grew to see what was important in front of him—to honor his parent's sacrifice by giving back love to those around him. To make everyone feel like family, and never let anyone feel like they're alone in this world.

"You're...amazing, Umemiya," you both stare into each other's eyes, holding massive respect for what he's been through and how he achieved his goals.

Umemiya chuckles, ruffling your hair, "I didn't tell you my story to pity me, you know? Was hoping you'd reconsider and stay here in Makochi, with us."

With...them?

It's too strange. Everyone in this town is strange. Were city folks always this welcoming towards outsiders?

"I don't want to keep bothering anyone...I can't go back to the shrine so I'm practically homeless." Supposedly, you were to be taken away by your husband after the vows, but now you aren't so sure if he's hot on your trail. But one thing was agreed upon—the shrine people and all its inhabitants except you were to remain unharmed. So long as you didn't go back to your previous residence, everyone was safe. Hayami, the friendly Mikos and the priest who you were thankful for secured the shrine. If anything else happens, Sojiro can take care of it. He was strong, unlike you. Everyone can trust in him.

Unlike you, already causing havoc in a new place.

"Sakura must be uncomfortable with me staying at his house," you mutter. "It doesn't sit right with me to live like everything's handed to me."

You're thankful, really, for the help you've received thus far. But how were you going to repay the kindness they've showered you with if your tracks only lingered with danger?

"You're all too kind... I'll carry the guilt of bringing danger to this town if I stay too long."

An overthinker that you are, Umemiya observes. "Makochi wasn't always like this, you know?"

He proceeds to tell you how Makochi used to be terrorized by delinquents day and night, the local businesses having trouble with their operations and families often fearing for their safety. Umemiya mentions a couple who led and funded the restoration of Makochi's properties, him in particular being a recipient of their kindness.

"The orphanage I grew up in was funded by a couple," he starts, pointing at the statue nearby the fountain. "I discussed the situation with the staff earlier and had my hunch confirmed. Everything checks out, you'd be the same age as their child if she were alive today. You're a split image of them too."

Then, that means...

He shows you a picture from his phone. Just like he says, you had their features.

Umemiya notices your trembling figure, immediately reaching out to pat the small of your back.

"I could've met my parents."

You grab Umemiya's blazer tight, tears threatening to fall from your eyes, "They're not gone yet, r-right? They're waiting for me?"

For once, you held onto hope—but Umemiya's look said otherwise.

"I'm...sorry," he says, almost whispering.

You couldn't help but let the tears flow uncontrollably, hanging onto Umemiya while he continued to calm you down in his own way. He knows the feeling all too well, and this time he'll be sure to help you out.

"Even if you were an outsider, we'd still help you to the best of our capabilities." He says, wrapping his arms around you, shielding you from any negative thoughts. "I...and the rest of Bofurin will protect you, (F/n)."

You look at Umemiya, giving you a bittersweet smile. "Welcome back, (F/n)."

❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋❋

Sakura, Nirei, and Suo found themselves walking to the park where Umemiya had instructed them to go. They eventually find Bofurin's leader and (F/n) in an embrace.

"Oh, if it isn't my favorite first years!" The boys look at the new group approaching them, led by Tsubaki and the Sakaki twins.

Sakura immediately signals to keep quiet, earning him a chuckle from the newcomers. "It's all fine! Ume told us to gather here, didn't you receive a message?"

Nirei checked his phone and lo and behold was a message from their leader, "Ah! We were too occupied searching for (F/n)."

Suo lets out a grin next to him, "It all worked out in the end, thanks to Sakura's plan!"

Said boy became heated from the mention, saying it was all Umemiya who did the work. He knew it was the right call to let Bofurin's leader handle the situation seeing how at ease you were next to him. Almost like they were intruding a special moment between two lovers at the park. He blushes at the sight, feeling a pang in his chest.

Now aware of more people's presence, you immediately get out of Umemiya's embrace and bow your head down, not letting him see your puffy red eyes and runny nose that may or may not have gotten into his uniform. He places his hand on your shoulder and gently asks, "Think you can face them?"

Standing up to acknowledge his peers, you turn your head towards the large group of students now approaching their leader. "Yo! Looks like everyone's here," Umemiya scans the group, "Even Kaji came, that's surprising!"

Kaji tenses at the special mention and feels all of his peers stare at him. His vice-captains laugh and Enomoto talks for his defense, albeit in a teasing manner, "Kaji said he wanted to fetch his jacket back and definitely not because he was worried about 'er or anything." Now this puts a nail in the coffin and everyone swore Kaji would've pounced on his friends if it weren't for Hiragi pulling him back.

"You're all too lively," Tamon's captain says as he drags Kaji by the hoodie, "Give (F/n) a break, don't wanna overwhelm her."

You watch the boys bickering and Umemiya notices the faint smile from your lips.

"Fun bunch, aren't they?" You nod.

"You can trust them, just open your heart."

Trusting them, a couple of teenagers who seemed rough around the edges, with your heart?

Maybe you should let loose this time. Umemiya, Kotoha, and Sakura are just the few people you've met today, yet they all radiate the same warmth and comfort you've been yearning for all these years. If everyone shares the same kindness, you'd probably think you're living in some kind of fantasy.

Recalling Hayami's last request for you—to live an earnest and free life. Maybe you can trust them to achieve it.

In a daze, you didn't notice someone approaching you giddily, almost a hope to their step.

"I'm so glad you're doing better now!" A tall figure immediately stood in front of you, but it didn't phase you one bit. Their presence wasn't trying to intimidate you. "I'm Tsubakino Tasuku, but Tsubaki-chan or anything will do, love!"

Tsubaki lets out a wide smile, enthusiastic to see you well and standing despite your puffy eyes and cheeks. You stand still though, and this immediately raised a concern with everyone.

"A-ah, did I scare you—"

Your eyes suddenly twinkle with excitement, and you yell what was running on your mind without a filter. "You're really beautiful! Very much!"

"It's a great honor meeting you!" Shaking hands with Tsubaki, everyone was startled with the sudden change in personality. This was most likely the enthusiasm you've been hiding all these years, suppressed by loneliness. Umemiya beside the two of you finds your exchange with Tsubaki very endearing, already making notes on how he'll elicit this kind of reaction from you soon. Hopefully you like plants!

Tsubaki on the other hand was already enamored with you, listening to every word you say. "Your hair and the way you dress, and the makeup really accentuates your features! The ones I see in the magazine don't compare to Tsubaki-chan!" You stop your rambling and see Tsubaki endearingly smiling at you with a blush.

"S-sorry! I just, get too excited seeing new things." You chuckle and Tsubaki does too.

It's hard to resist not taking you out this weekend, Tsubaki thinks. The trip will probably take a huge hit on their savings, but money can always be earned. Seeing your smile is a reward in itself for Tsubaki.

Everyone watches as Tsubaki continues to coddle you, happy to see you engaging enthusiastically. Suo lightly pushes a blushing Sakura, whose romance sensor has been going rampant since earlier, towards you and Tsubaki.

"H-hey! What gives?!" Sakura exclaims towards his eye-patched friend who only signalled a gesture for friend, linking his hands together.

Oh right, you probably hate him right now for what he did earlier at Pothos. Tsubaki seemed to understand the situation with how tense the two of you were, patting your head before leaving to stand next to Umemiya.

Just you and Sakura again, this time not so comfortable. "U-uh...about what happened earlier," his mouth becomes pouty, struggling to look you in the eye but he does so anyway, "I shouldn't have forced the idea...s-so...sorry."

His irises were trembling, searching desperately for a reaction from you. Sakura, despite his tough and standoffish attitude, always meant well and tried his best to help his peers. Last night's conversation was purely between two aloof individuals, both yearning to be in the presence of others, yet their struggles distinct. Hearts that were afraid of being vulnerable, not knowing if they were worth of affection.

"You were just looking out for me," you trail, "It's me who should be apologizing...for being stubborn."

Similar to how Anzai tried to reject everyone's help during the fight with KEEL, there was no escape from Sakura's headstrong personality. He'll find a way to worm in and help you out. He was just that selfless.

"He probably filled you in already on how this town operates and stuff," Sakura points at Umemiya, referencing his request earlier during their phone call. "Violence isn't something this town's had enough of."

"So you don't have to worry about us. Don't be afraid of asking for help, that's just how it is here."

You were indeed afraid. The concept of friendship and trust blurry to you not until yesterday, with Sakura declaring he was there to help you out, as a friend. It was a foreign feeling, and the boy reciprocated the confusion you must've felt before his bold intrusion. Even he was surprised by his actions last night. Everyone in Makochi must've been rubbing off of him—in the best possible way.

So, he tries to apply what he's learned so far.

"If you're still not convinced, let's settle this with a fight."

Or not.

"H-hey now, there's a time and place for fighting Sakura." Nirei visibly sweatdrops, "You can discuss things with (F/n) like a normal person, you know???" The boy looks to his other side and sees Suo with an approving smile. This is hopeless, Nirei concludes.

"If you win, I'll let you do what you want. If I win, you stay here in this town and let us protect you."

Hiragi, Tsubaki, and Umemiya all look confused.

Kaji and his vice-captains are all in awe with Sakura's naivety.

The Sakaki twins think this is a regular Friday. They've heard about you and how you can fend for yourself, so front row seats to see the real deal were nice.

The two first years, Suo and Nirei, were concerned, but Suo was just a tad bit curious to intervene. Nirei on the other hand thought otherwise.

Surely you're not that crazy enough to actually go with it?

"Fine with me," you reply.

Nirei just wants to curl up and do the pillbug stance right now.

tag list: @wutap, @the2ndl

#windbreaker x reader #haruka sakura x reader #wind breaker x reader #umemiya hajime x reader

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kathaynesart · 2 years ago

Note

What do you take from the Rise movie’s “This isn’t about me,” message? *It’d be interesting to see this become a Tumblr thread cause I’d love to see what others think too.

That's... an important line to decipher. Deep enough to mean so many things but vague enough to be easily taken out of context. I have a lot to say about it, but I'll keep it under the cut to save others the trouble.

TLDR: Future Leo's a dum dum hypocrite

I think... when Leo used the line in the future timeline. He was trying to remind Casey of the harsh reality that they existed in. That this was a world where they sometimes had to set aside their personal wants for the greater good. It's for that reason that Leo was able to ask Mikey to do the unthinkable and sacrifice himself in turn.

What I find fascinating about the movie, is that it both supports and counters this message. It tries to find that healthy middle ground, between present Leo's narcissistic attitude in the beginning and the downright sacrifice he's willing to make by the end. Because him sacrificing himself was NOT the happy ending. And while we get that "ending" for only a moment. We can see that method doesn't feel right either.

In that way, I don't think "it's not about me" isn't actually the "message" of the movie as some might assume at first glance. Merely a gentle reminder to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Because technically, yes, "it's not about me" does apply to many aspects of life. We can get so caught up in our own worries and concerns and perspectives and it just... muddles reality in a way. We need to see how our actions and words affect others and understand that there's so much more out there than our own little bubbles. But we also should understand our own worth within the big tapestry of life and be willing to fight for the things that matter to us.

That's why I think the actual message of the story isn't "it's not about me." It's about balance. It's about the knowing look Leo and Raph share in the end and the fact that Mikey was able to achieve the true, best ending with his brother's help to save Leo, because they know that the world may mean more in the long run, but they mean the world to each other, and I think it's really important to understand.

But that's just my long-winded opinion on the subject and there’s plenty of other interpretations I think I can totally get behind as well. It will be an element within Replica but let's also remember that Future Leo is kind of hypocrite with this line. He's says "It's not about me" but that's coming from someone who the entire resistance has centered around as its leader. He's probably a little tired of the idolization by now and does not like the idea that he's somehow more important than others. I think that's where that line really stems from for Leo. It's obvious that Casey isn't just talking about his importance as a leader, but Leo with the same line is asking him to set those feelings aside even if he is one of the most important people in Casey's life.

And then Leo turns around and throws one of the most important people in his life through the portal. A damn hypocrite (/positive)

EDIT: I was sort of ending it on a silly note but @dandylovesturtles added such a great point that I haven’t been able to put into words but feel in my heart when it comes to future Leo and definitely something I want to show with the healing process he’s been going through in Replica: and that’s the “not all about you” sometimes just means that bad things happen but you can’t just blame yourself for it, and it’s not some cosmic attack for your mistakes. The world did not come to an end because of Leo’s mistake, even if he might have once felt like that. What’s more it means you can’t put the whole world on your shoulder or always try to fix things on your own like how Leo tried to after Raph’s capture. It’s ok to seek the aid and support and ideas of others your trust. It really lines up so well with a lot of the events in the film.

Thank you @dandylovesturtles and everyone else’s amazing comments! I want to hear all of them and take notes.

#I jabber I'm sorry #but I have a lot of thoughts and feelings #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #replica #unpause rise of the tmnt #future leo #unpause rottmnt #rottmnt replica

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dynasty889 · 2 months ago

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A Very Rough, Very Informal “Essay” about Eurylochus and Odysseus

I swear to god if I see someone else hating on Eurylochus. I want to scream at this point.

Okay, let’s go in depth, shall we? Let’s start from the beginning since almost everyone seems to forget the Cyclops Saga when it’s convenient to blame him. Odysseus was warned by a goddess not to shout out his name. This wasn’t some subordinate saying ‘don’t do that.’ This was his mentor and a goddess, a very powerful goddess, saying ‘that’s a bad idea don’t do that.’ And what does the idiot do? Yell out his name.

And second, yall forget Eurylochus also warned Odysseus in Luck Runs Out about the gods. Odysseus does make good points about not wanting Eurylochus to spread rumors that will make the crew doubt his leadership, but in the process brushes off Eurylochus’ very legitimate and very valid concerns. He’s like “ehhh well I’m gonna try greeting the world with open arms so sorry bud, you’ll just have to trust me.” (as if that didn’t fail for him already when he spared the cyclops). The wind bag is 100% Eurylochus’ fault, I will admit that. What angers me is that people forget Odysseus was warned by Eurylochus as well.

Is Eurylochus kind of a dick for wanting to leave his men behind when they get transformed by Circe? Yes. But it makes sense. I mean, the way Eurylochus describes it in Puppeteer is absolutely brutal. It’s slow, painful, and gory. But if you think about it, it’s a reflective of what Odysseus does in Scylla. Odysseus sacrifices 6 men to save the majority. Eurylochus wanted to leave the transformed men behind to save himself, Odysseus, and the remaining crew. When Odysseus sacrifices men it’s “oh he’s doing it to get home” as if Eurylochus wanting to leave the men behind wasn’t for the exact same reason 💀

Next, let’s talk about the two in the Thunder Saga. As mentioned by Jay many, many times, Eurylochus and Odysseus’ values switch. Eurylochus takes on being the one willing to get his crew home safe while Odysseus is concerned only about himself. So obviously, these shifts in value are going to cause a very extreme reaction from Eurylochus. When Odysseus saved his men from Circe, Eurylochus realized that they could solve their problems instead of just running from them. That’s why he brings up their past encounters with enemies.

When they’re on Thrinacia, Eurylochus isn’t acting out of anger. He’s acting out of desperation. Yall people say that when Odysseus disregarded Athena and then shouted out his name, he wasn’t in the right state of mind because Polites just died. Well I got some news for you. Eurylochus was not in the right state of mind when he ignored Odysseus’ warnings and killed the cow. He was hungry, weak, and desperate for food, and he had food right there in front of him. He also, at least in EPIC, was not there when Tiresias appeared. So he is likely ignorant of the prophecy and due to his now negative perception of Odysseus and since they technically did manage to overthrow him briefly, believes that the warnings are false/exaggerated. He’s hungry. That’s the most simple explanation. And hunger makes you do things irrationally.

And lastly, are you really going to shame Eurylochus and the crew for being angry with Odysseus when he chooses himself over them? Put yourself in their shoes. You’ve been away from home for 10+ years, you’re *still* hungry, you are bringing home no spoils and have no glory. And you’re going to tell me “Oh yeah it’s fine because at least the captain gets to go home.” No way in hell would I be okay with that even if I acknowledged my faults.

I just. Yeah. I can’t. I can’t deal with the Eurylochus slander anymore. Like I love Odysseus and he’s still my favorite character in EPIC, but man is he about just as much of an idiot as Eurylochus. He does not need as much protection as you all are giving him. He equally fucked up their chance to get home as Eurylochus did. The only exception is from Calypso. This is why we needed Polites to survive smh 😔

#epic the musical #jorge rivera herrans #odysseus #eurylochus #epic the cyclops saga #epic the ocean saga #epic the circe saga #epic the thunder saga

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yuesya · 9 months ago

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Mechamaru is a sad character, even though his anger at Shiki, to me, is honestly misplaced and more like self-loathing, envy, and commiseration.

It’s honestly sad what happens to Mechamaru because he did get the short end of the stick when it comes to Heavenly Restriction, didn’t he? He only wanted to have a healthy body, and in canon, he got it.

But what did it cost, really?

Because in the end, Mechamaru did in some way betray the jujutsu sorcerers. He can tell himself that he was desperate and he had the right to try and better his life when no one else cared to or was able to help him. He was in a shitty situation and tried fixing it first chance that presented it, but it doesn’t erase the fact that he betrayed his comrades. He indirectly (?)aided in the tragedy that happened by facitilating information to the curses, which HELPED Kenjaku’s plans, and he died for it. Here, he’s alive to suffer the consequences of ill-fated choices.

He wasn’t wrong to want it. He’s wrong because ultimately, his actions were an act of betrayal.

He feels remorse for his betrayal. He feels guilty. He feels angry at Shiki, because his gamble failed and here she stood as a shining bastion of a “perfect” life.

Though as seen in here, Shiki probably doesn’t give a single fuck about Mechamaru’s feelings. Only that his betrayal put the jujutsu society - and in turn, her family and friends - in jeopardy and that it went against the rules that Shiki was following ONLY because her family and friends wanted her too. Her moral and logic is pretty skewed, after all. Her first reaction to him being turned into a monster is to render him immobile VIA limbs breaking which honestly is NOT the first thing people do, but it’s admittedly in a twisted way the most optimal way to subdue transfigurated!Mechamaru.

TBH wrong is wrong. Betrayal is betrayal. Mechamaru isn’t an innocent victim who tried saving himself. How many more people would die and did die in the jujutsu world because he aided the curses? How many people died in Liyue because here the curses tried getting rid of Shiki?

Which brings me to another point: Whether it was voluntary or not, because of his betrayal which fed the curses informations and had Shiki hunting after them, Mechamaru ended up as a tool in the ambush against Shiki. Mahito tried using him as a shield, but unfortunately for him and the curses, Shiki’s reasoning is far too settled in pragmatic reasoning and logic to a certain point, after which she settled into brute force or death. She wouldn’t sacrifice herself for just Mechamaru, after all, nor be squirmish about breaking some limbs or killing some people.

Kinda shameless to be angry at the girl who you involuntarily aided in ambushing, no?

It’s just. The first time I read the short about Mechamaru (which was STILL amazing btw) I felt sorry for him.

The next few times I reread it though, I was like wait a minute, this doesn’t sound right, this guy is making Shiki to be the bad guy in interrogating him when he “just tried helping himself and he didn’t truly mean to betray the jujutsu society qwq!!!” because she has a perfect life but BITCH so many people just died LMFAOO Shiki here just doing her job and being hated, my poor girl (though she doesn’t care).

Mechamaru lost his gamble in using Mahito and turned into an even worse monster.

Likewise, the curses lost their gamble in trying to delete Shiki and were all basically wiped out in minutes lmao. They probably didn’t expect the Gojo Satoru Expy to actually be a Gojo Satoru 2.0 lol.

Shiki just doing her job, stuck in another world. :( And she had promised her cousin to make a detour to buy sweets, too rip. :(

(which brings me to another point i’m not gonna expand: Satoru and Shiki’s relationship? I LOVELOVELOVE IT!! The opposing powers they present! Satoru is not truly the sole “honored one”! Satoru has someone who somewhat understands the way he looks at the world! Who will stand by his decision and trust! Who’s willing to murder a bitch or a few for him! They’re two peas in a pod, sometimes HE has to be the moral compass for Shiki even! HIM! THE Gojo Satoru! A moral compass!!! 😂😂😂)

!! I am bouncing a bit in excitement from this haha.

Mechamaru! Is a very very unfortunate character. His attempt to outsmart Kenjaku and the Special Grade curses was not something that ended well for anyone. The information that he provided them allowed Kenjaku's faction to set up the test run at the Goodwill Event and break into the warehouse, stealing the Death Paintings and Sukuna's fingers. If we think about what happened in Shibuya, where Sukuna was able to cause as much devastation as he did because of ingesting the additional fingers... arguably Mechamaru played a definite role in allowing this situation to occur in the first place.

Mechamaru wants to be healed. He wants to have a normal body, and be a normal student of Kyoto High with his friends.

In exchange, he betrays the school -but he's not really betraying them, Mechamaru tells himself. Look, he's even been careful enough to extract a binding vow for his friends to be unharmed. And it's not as if he really intends to throw in his lot with Geto. As soon as he gets what he wants, he'll turn on them. Mechamaru doesn't need to kill them in order to win; all he needs to do is escape and find sanctuary with Gojo Satoru. And with the intel that he'll have in his hands, Gojo will definitely protect him. Then, they'll be able to counter their enemies properly from there-

We all know how that turns out in the end, though. The many casualties that result from Kenjaku's plans... Mechamaru might not be responsible, but he's certainly not blameless in allowing Kenjaku to set things into motion.

Mechamaru strikes me as a character who has a strong confidence and ego, which is balanced at the same time by a helpless sense of inferiority and anger. He knows that he's a powerful sorcerer, and he's the only sorcerer whose range covers an entire country -not even Gojo Satoru can do that! And Mechamaru is observant, and intelligent. He hates the limitations imposed upon him by his body, and he wants ever so badly to see for himself the world that he can only interact with through his puppets-

Shiki gets the brunt of that, in this particular AU.

Mechamaru lives. He lives, but he's angry and guilty and oh how he regrets, without truly regretting. Sorcerers are selfish creatures, and Mechamaru is no different.

Here Gojo Shiki stands in front of him, beautiful and powerful and perfect, looking down on him like Mechamaru means absolutely nothing. Given the turmoil that Mechamaru is currently experiencing... it's only natural that he lashes out at her.

(It's no excuse. But it is a reason.)

In contrast to Mechamaru's complicated feelings towards her, Shiki is fairly indifferent about him in return, despite his role as a lure in the 'ambush' for her. She simply protects him because she was assigned to retrieve Mechamaru for an interrogation. Shiki can't retrieve him if he's dead.

... So that just means she'll need to do her best to keep him alive, until she manages to find a way home.

#QA #zenith of stars au #liyue au #mechamaru #i am super happy at the details you're picking up here anon #and yes you are right on several counts!!#mechamaru isn't wrong in wanting a healthy body #he's wrong in how he went about it #he also overlooked all the other victims that would result from his actions #the guards to the warehouse who were killed horrifically when mahito broke in for example #i wonder if mechamaru felt any guilt about that?#there's absolutely no mention about it in the manga #which is either an overlooked detail #or points towards mechamaru being egocentric #or perhaps even similar to shiki in this respect -callous and unfeeling as long as the ones they hold dear to their heart remain unaffected

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nesiacha · 5 days ago

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Excerpts from Letters and Chapters of Historians on the Break Between Babeuf and Fouché

Yes, we all know the story of Babeuf, who was at one point manipulated by Fouché. But contrary to what Stefan Zweig describes, Babeuf is far from being a simpleton (by the way, Fouché manipulated many intelligent people, whether they were aware of it or not). He was an engaged revolutionary, far more humanitarian than others, while still having insightful reflections (I admit, it's my fan-girl side of Babeuf speaking, but the letters, especially those from the storming of the Bastille and the murder of Foulon, where he condemned this murder while offering very just opinions, can be found here: https://www.tumblr.com/nesiacha/766775982269087744/gracchus-babeufs-opinion-on-the-storming-of-the?source=share). Yes, Fouché did manipulate him at one point because he knew Babeuf had humanitarian values, and here is an excerpt:

"Ordered by Fouché, who seeks to make common cause with the Thermidorians, in the context of the trial of Carrier, the man behind the Nantes drownings, it serves as an alibi for the former machine-gunner of Lyon. The method is classic. It consists of denouncing one's former political allies, exaggerating, in order to better save oneself." (Emmanuel de Waresquiel, Vendée and Chouannerie: Two Centuries of Memory, Revue des Deux Mondes, September 1993).

But Babeuf always denounced the double standard of morality (I am deliberately exaggerating here), and here is an excerpt from the historian Claude Mazauric:

"Babeuf is on the side of the Revolution and the Republic, not the opposite; it is precisely on the basis of republican and revolutionary values, which, according to him, are grounded in universal principles, that he protested against the 'decemviral tone,' the 'proconsular exactions,' the unnecessary and arbitrary violence, etc."

Moreover, Babeuf was a man who never abandoned his true friends, even in their time of need. He often wrote, for example, to the widow of Chaumette (even though she was considered the widow of a traitor). I really need to find these letters one day. In lieu of the letters to the widow of Chaumette, here is an excerpt from a letter Babeuf sent to Chaumette when he was still alive:

"Philanthropists! I announce to you my book on Equality, which I will present to the world. Sophists! With it, I will destroy all the false reasoning by which you have misled, chained, and made the Universe suffer; and despite you, men will know the full extent of their rights, nature's vow will no longer be violated, and they will all be happy."

Moreover, we see Babeuf gradually realizing Fouché's true nature. He distances himself from him until their eventual break.

Babeuf wrote on the 19th of Germinal Year III to Fouché after the popular insurrection of the Sans-Culottes due to famine and misery (Babeuf would lose his daughter Sophie because of this, a loss from which he never recovered):

"The catastrophe of the 12th of Germinal makes way for great changes. This does not mean that I renounce it and leave the party. The ideas that occupy me, together with the conclusion I wish to establish in this letter, will lead me, my friend, to speak to you about the great battle we just lost... but must we be crushed by it? No. It is in great dangers that genius and courage unfold."

But here is what he writes to Fouché in his journal The Tribune of the People:

"You have become very rich, Fouché. When I left to be relegated to the North, I believed I could place enough trust in you to recommend my children. They went to see you. You gave them ten francs one day. You took no more interest in the family of an honorable victim of the patriciate. Today, you would sacrifice four to five thousand francs to stifle a few truths. This last object deserves far more than the other to affect your heart. It is exactly a year ago, Fouché, that there was with the then government, another director or syndic of the library, than you: it was Lanthenas. He wrote to me. I still keep his letters, and I can still justify the similar propositions he suggested to me, though with a little more finesse. You don’t write to me; but you speak to me in front of Antonelle and company. I give you the same response I gave to Lanthenas. I don’t want a censor, a corrector, or a whisperer; I still opt for persecution, if necessary; I will not tune in with the Méhée, and I insist on maintaining, against you, that the time has come when every truth must be spoken. You may conspire with the current government: we know how every government conspires. I declare that I am also part of a conspiracy. It is not yours. Send your agents on the campaign as much as you want; you will not destroy it. If this letter were to be read by the patriots, I would tell them: remember that a year ago, I was more right on my own than all the Jacobins together. I loudly demanded the constitution of that time. If they had demanded it at the same time as me, they would have saved the people and themselves. On the contrary, they were long in opposition to me, constantly seeking to delay the implementation of that constitution. In the end, they recognized I saw better than them, and they came to echo me. They demanded, through Barrère and Audouin, the swift establishment of the constitutional regime; but it was too late. A few days later, their society died assassinated. Their demand, therefore, lost all force. The time for delays is over. We are no longer in times when one can wait. They say public opinion must be redone. It is too formed. The people feel too much the extent of their suffering; they can no longer bear it. To help them, there is no quicker remedy than to put them at odds with their enemies, with all those who are the cause of all they suffer. Wanting to make them wait is asking that each day add to the destructive force that is depopulating our country at terrifying speed, sending each of us, in turn, to death, in slow and horrible anguish."

And he adds to Fouché: "It has been said for some time that you were my Mentor [...] I don’t want a censor, a corrector, or a whisperer: I still opt for persecution, if necessary [...] And I insist on maintaining, against you, that the time has come when every truth must be spoken."

Babeuf understood Fouché’s ambitions and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Personally, I’ve discussed with friends passionate about the French Revolution (some of whom have opinions different from mine, even very different, but that’s fine because otherwise, it would be boring, we wouldn’t learn as well, and everyone must benefit from free judgment) who hypothesized that if Babeuf had followed the tide, like Fouché, and had not denounced him, perhaps Fouché would have allowed him a pension. The same goes for Marie-Anne Babeuf, the wife of Gracchus Babeuf and his right-hand woman (she helped him print, managed subscriptions, was imprisoned under the Directory for her activism, tried to help him escape, walked many miles pregnant with 8-months-old to organize his defense, and kept her married name after her husband's execution), who continued her political activities after her husband's death (some sources describe her as a woman with a strong character who did not back down in the face of adversity and I believe it given the trials she has undergone and how she has reacted), to the point of being arrested twice by the Napoleonic police (more precisely, she was arrested by the police for the first time during the affair of the infernal machine in 1801, actually perpetrated by the royalists, and questioned a second time by the police who took all her papers and those of her son so her property in 1808) . We know that Félix Lepeletier was a close friend to her and her children and always helped them after her widowhood. Turreau adopted one of her sons, Camille (the only good deed I found from him), and maybe Réal. But nothing from Fouché (while one of the few good deeds he did in his life was granting a pension to the widow of Collot d'Herbois). Some of my friends have suggested that it was precisely because she was cut from the same cloth as Gracchus (or maybe she wanted nothing to do with Fouché, which makes sense) and given that she continued her political activism against those whom Fouché served, without abandoning her cause. This is a hypothesis I should look into one day.

P.S.: It is interesting to see the quote from Barère, as well as Xavier François Audouin, who played an important role in the period of the French Revolution, both in the 1792 years, and was a well-known neo-Jacobin opponent of the Directory, especially according to historian Bernard Gainot (he was a Hébertist who escaped deportation under Bonaparte, either through the intervention of Monge, or because Bonaparte hoped to win over his father-in-law Pache to his side, but this didn’t work out; indeed, Xavier Audouin had married Sylvie, who according to Mathilde Larrère, though young, was known for her Hébertist activism; in 1816, Xavier Audouin, under pressure from the Bourbon laws, became a royalist). As for Antonelle, I’ve already spoken about him here: https://www.tumblr.com/nesiacha/761515728971202560/the-political-career-of-the-revolutionary?source=share

About Pache and the Audouin couple: https://www.tumblr.com/nesiacha/767044131014033408/very-mediocre-and-horrible-quote-from-buzot?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/nesiacha/767308509546266624/this-is-the-principle-of-a-friendship-triangle?source=share

(I warn you, it’s not much, but I plan to do a post about Pache one day unless someone else does it for me).

And Barère, well… Let’s just say that many people better informed than I am have already said everything there is to say in my place. I couldn’t have said or done better.

Sources:

Eric Walter

Claude Mazauric

Mathilde Larrère

Bernard Gainot

#frev #french revolution #joseph fouché #babeuf #history #france

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cocogum · 8 months ago

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Let’s TALK about episodes 9 and 10 people… (part 1)

PART 2 : HERE

(‼️SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4‼️)

If you thought episodes 7 and 8 had so much to talk about (cuz I sure did), then episodes 9 and 10 destroyed my mind.

….

I am so tired.

We begin with a small recap of what happened last episode and it’s honestly very nice and heartwarming of Ankama to remind us that Yugo will get his ass handed to him in a few minutes.

BRO LOOK AT HOW THEY’RE DRAGGING HIM ON THE DIRTY FLOOR LIKE THAT!!

The level of disrespect these thirsty hoes have for him is immeasurable. Even if Yugo’s not a kid, the fact that the necromes didn’t hesitate to tie him up like that and sacrifice him like a lamb is jaw-dropping. It really makes you understand that they don’t give a shit if you’re an actual kid, they will hang you up like a roast beef for dinner.

Bro’s asking as if he just got here.

Also, how do you think that fall must’ve felt like? Cuz when Toross yeets him, Yugo takes a massive fall only to get his body slammed into the pavement when he gets tied up.

He gets to fall even faster because of the stasis ropes pulling him down too.

You can even hear the loud slam when he hits it. That must’ve hurt like a bitch.

Btw I love how even after all that, Adamaï and Amalia still don’t trust Qilby even when he saved them from the necrome world.

Adamaï thinks he was an idiot for not using the eliatrope Dofus and…he’s right? Cuz my guy…ur scared of ruining things if you use the dofus but what are you gonna ruin in a place WHERE THERE’S NO WAKFU????

Sometimes I can’t tell whether or not that guy’s okay in his head. Like is he blind or something? You can clearly tell that the necrome world is completely deserted and has no actual life, Amalia even CONFIRMS IT for you, Toross is literally using his dofus in his world of nothing, AND it’s also literally known as the gods’ garbage bin.

No wonder you get slapped around so much, you’re stupider than Yugo!!

I never in my life thought that I’d eventually get to see Qilby booping Amalia’s nose.

And I don’t know if I should like it or if I should fear it.

Man literally booped her as if she was a kid. But then again, he IS a millennial years old so it would explain why he’d treat her like a fetus.

In a way, he really CAN see her as a kid who doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.

But like-

I never imagined this happening???? Not even in a trillion chances 😀😀

BUT WHAT CONFUSES ME EVEN MORE IS THIS :

I get that Amalia annoyed him when she said he STILL couldn’t be trusted but what do you mean by “artificial”??? I’m still confused about that.

MY QUEEN NORA AND HER GAY ASS IS BACK WITH HER SHENANIGANS GURL WE SEE U !!

You can’t tell me this scene ain’t gay 😭😭

The way she grabbed her was so sudden, it made my heart jump!! And Amalia just goes with it like a damsel in distress being protected by her knight 🥰🥰 My noramalia senses detected that shit from a mile away, you ain’t getting away!!!

That torture scene tho should’ve taken longer ngl. But Okoo being the kid that they are decided “hell nah”. It’s still a shame really but at least we got what we needed.

Also, lemme just say something about this torture scene real quick.

Not only does Yugo get sucked the living out of him, but he just got BODY SLAMMED FROM AT LEAST 290 FEET on LITERAL PAVEMENT so now his back is completely obliterated, he keeps CONVULSING, TWITCHING, and GETS HIS BONES BREAKING TO GROW LONGER ONES-

He’s feeling all that WHILE getting sucked to death. My god. I wanted to see more of that.

The only reason why he didn’t turn out ballistic was cuz Oropo was keeping him busy in his head. He literally told him that he’ll make him fight just to not think about it.

And even though Oropo does hate him (but calmed down a bit once he reunited with Yugo), he told him that even he doesn’t deserve all of this. Can you imagine the one who caused so many calamities and was ready to kill the gods because he hates you telling you that even you don’t deserve this?? It just shows how kinky this Toross guy is.

#wakfu #ankama #krosmoz #wakfu season 4 #wakfu s4 #wakfu yugo #wakfu review #wakfu reviews #wakfu season 4 episodes 9 and 10

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loverofpussyandthaitea · 10 months ago

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Alright sluts, I need some opinions.

I am currently writing a CrocMom au that has gone to far wild and completely out of my control. I have most of the plot surrounding Luffy and Crocodile's backstory and connection figured out, that's not the problem. What IS the problem is that Crocodile is to much of a whore. Crocodile has up to at least five potential love interests that I could throw at him (not including Dragon cause that has to happen for, y'know, conception.)

Buggy, Mihawk, Buggy & Mihawk, Dolflamingo, Shanks, Corozon ECT.

Now, I know some of those options might not make sense, but see, a writers mind is an unending fucking mine field of insanity, and I would be able to make those options work pretty well.

Buggy and Mihawk would most definitely make the most sense, as they are pretty canon in their interactions and I have been itching to write cross-guild anyways.

Shanks? Knowing that Crocodile created basically his kid and also could kill him at any time and is also hooking up with his two ex's? That man is already a skank and has probably dated at least half the one piece verse, this is not far fetched.

Dolflamingo? They are the ones with the most cannon interaction and could make for a very good psychological warfare/angsty fic, but also, Dolflomingo. So like, gross.

And the last and most crackship, rarepair shit I could ever think of. Cora and Crocodile. Now, in my fic, I start with Crocodile on Ohara to involve Olvia and Robin into his cannon universe (This is also trans!Crocodile, so he's a woman right now, but he transitions after Luffy's birth) and so I can give him an excuse to adopt Robin later when she's around like, 11.

So, you have a Crocodile that fits just snuggly enough into the timeline and does not have enough trauma yet (in my universe at the least) and who has already given birth to Luffy and is already slightly regretting leaving him and who has already adopted Robin. I think that there would be a really high possibility that Crocodile would meet Cora and be like "look at this sad, pathetic, wet-cat, clumsy single father. Would be a shame if someone was to just grab it.". Which would then inadvertently save Cora's life, especially if Crocodile helped get the heart fruit and then brought them back to Alabasta.

I also wanna clarify, I don't think Law would see Crocodile as a father figure. It took fuckin forever for him to trust Cora, and that was with sacrifices that spited both hell and high water. I think Crocodile would more be seen as a mentor, especially if Law would still want to get back at Dolflamingo. Cora might try to stop that. Cora would want what's best for his son.

Crocodile? Dramatic-time-to -murder-the second-strongest-pirate-of-all-time bitch? 100% would support.

Also, the possibility of Robin and Law shenanigans kind of gets my goat.

Plus, if you add in Luffy, Ace, and Sabo, it would be chaotic as fuck, and kind of amazing!

As you can tell, I am slightly leaning more to one of these options than the others (totally not just because I want to write a Cora lives au) and I think that Cora is one of the only One Piece men that Crocodile would genuinely consider sticking with because of the way he treats other people and his kids. The possibilities are fucking endless.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I would take anything into consideration and I have to decide before I write the Dragon/Revolutionary chapter.

The world problems of a one piece fic writer, man.

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fatale-distraction · 5 months ago

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Read this amazing post by @instantbee about whether Solas knew what the real impact of removing Lavellan’s vallaslin was. I immediately wanted to share my thoughts on my own Lavellan’s reaction to this, but I didn’t want to highjack their post.

Like many other lovely Lavellans, this was a moment that sowed the first tiny seed of distrust in Solas.

Ellanasha refused him.

She worked harder than anyone else in her clan to earn her vallaslin and intentionally chose the most complex form of Mythal’s markings. She had something to prove. I reimagined the Lavellan clan a little bit, so there’s quite a bit of canon divergence here. Most Dalish clans limit their mages to only two or three at the most to keep themselves safe. Clan Lavellan has always had truly unusual amount of mages born to them, and rather than sending them away, they have made a point of protecting and nurturing them, even accepting mages from other clans who had been tossed to the wilds. Ellana’s mothers and her sister were some of the most potent mages in the clan, second only to the Keeper. Most everyone in Clan Lavellan could do some form of magic, even if it was just a small enough spark of flame to start the campfires. Ellana, however, didn’t have a single drop of magic in her. The closest she got was an uncanny ability to befriend just about any animal she came across, but there was no magic there, just a sweet, gentle disposition and a lonely young woman.

Beyond that, much of the Clan blamed her for the capture of her mothers by Tevinter slavers, and incident which ultimately led to their deaths as they tried to protect their daughters. Ellana’s vallaslin was intended to prove to her clan that she belonged, that she was willing to sacrifice anything to protect them, endure the worst pain and dedicate her life to serving the greatest of their pantheon.

As OP pointed out, Lavellan is stuck in this incredibly fraught position where the vast majority of people see her as symbolic of the Chantry, including her own people. Chantry folk see her as their savior, a messenger and protector sent by Andraste and the Maker. The Dalish see her as a traitor to her culture and religion until she’s able to convince them otherwise. Even an Inquisitor who declares for the elves in their speech at Skyhold goes ignored. No matter what they do, Lavellan will always be viewed as a tool of the Chantry.

After the destruction of Haven and the singing of The Dawn Will Come, Ellana is terrified. She’s heard all the tales of Andraste’s martyrdom, but through the lens of the Dalish. Andraste as a woman who had the audacity to wield power, who was made to believe she was a chosen of the Maker, betrayed by her husband and murdered by fanatics in the name of a god who didn’t care enough to save her. A warning to young elves not to trust the Chantry. They would use you for their purpose, and let you die.

Ellana begged Solas in tears not to let them make a martyr of her. In spite of this, she agrees to lead the Inquisition. She knows it’s the right thing, she believes she can make a difference not just for the world, but for her people, for elves all over Thedas, Dalish or not. And that is more important to her than her own fears of martyrdom. Her identity as a Dalish elf is paramount, even more important when the world looks at her almost as Andraste reborn.

So when Solas suggests that her vallaslin are the marks of salvers and offered to remove them, Ellana was furious. How could he not understand? How could he reduce her sacrifice and suffering for her people to the very thing responsible for the deaths of her mothers? How could he suggest that she remove the one thing that marked her visibly, inarguably as DALISH? That she should find freedom in assimilation? He promised he wouldn’t let them make a martyr out of her, and to Ellana, here he was suggesting the very first step.

Even worse; when she refused him, he broke up with her.

If she’d accepted, would he have stayed?

Did she even want a man who would do such a thing to her? (Insert Florence + the Machine’s What Kind of Man here)

There’s no way Solas could understand the depth of what he was suggesting to a modern Dalish elf. To remove their identity, something they fought for, something that represented their entrance into adulthood, their duty to their people? All his careful observation could never prepare him for the reality of living among a people whose history and culture has been irrevocably lost, clinging to the shreds left over with bloody, desperate hands.

#dragon age #ellanasha lavellan #writing down fatalities #solavellan #solas #dragon age inquisition #long post #da: inquisition #dalish elves #dalish inquisitor

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andreal831 · 2 months ago

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Please tell me you don't blame Elijah for Hayley's death because all too many already do.

I am like jeez he didn't have his memory in the first place to save his family or specifically Hope!!!

That man did everything he could for her and he loved her moreover he fell for her even without his memory, like what more do y'all want now from him???

PS: I also think he died at the end not just cause of Klaus's death but also cause his grief was too much for him to bear, why else would he leave his family, hope alone?

What you think?

I'll never blame Elijah for Hayley's death and will fight anyone who does. It typically comes from Klayley stans, so I made a tik tok to explain that logic: here.

My biggest gripe with it is the writers clearly did it to prop Klaus up as being the best man for everyone and adding onto Elijah's despair to kill him off. Klaus got to somehow play the victim in Hayley's death. The show made it more about him than even Hope or Hayley.

But yes, Elijah erased his memories to protect his family. People love to call him a hypocrite because he tried to have morals but would always cross them for family. Elijah erasing his memories was him trying to do the right thing because he realized this about himself. Talk about character development. He knew that, even if it would jeopardize some of his family, if Klaus needed him, he wouldn't be able to help himself. So he erased himself. He essentially killed himself. And the fandom somehow makes Klaus the victim in even that. If the show was going to do all that, might as well have just given all of the Hollow to Elijah and staked him (plug for my story, Last Sacrifice, on AO3 and WP).

So after Elijah essentially commits suicide for his family, he finally gets to live. But not really him. Some guy who doesn't know anything gets to live. How Marcel, Vincent, and Elijah thought that would be a good idea is beyond me. So he is released into the wild with no protection and Antoinette essentially takes advantage of it. I could never get into them as a ship after finding out she knew who he was the whole time. He is with her for seven years (his longest relationship) and even engaged to her. Enter Greta who convinces him that his family is in danger. Yes, Antoinette was his family so Greta and Roman were his family by extension. And we know how protective Elijah is about family.

And yes, he does know he's technically a Mikaelson and they are technically his family. But he also knows they are terrible people and has no emotions to go with that knowledge except the normal disgust one feels when looking at random mass murderers. They mean nothing to him. He walks into that house believing Klaus is there to kill his almost brother-in-law. He then sees "Andrea" and likely realizes it is Hayley. But again, no emotions are attached to the name Hayley. He may have been attracted and felt a connection to Andrea, but he is actively realizing their evening together was a lie. That she hid her identity from him and he isn't sure why, but knowing what he knows about the Mikaelsons, he doesn't trust it. Granted he is processing all of this in seconds. He looks around, sees Hayley and Greta in a fight, sees Roman and Hope unconscious on the floor, and see Klaus moving forward, unsure where he is headed. He doesn't help Greta, he doesn't involve himself in the Mikaelsons, he simply stops Klaus and moves to rescue Roman.

Yes, it sucks that seeing Hayley didn't just break the compulsion, but that's not how this world works. He didn't even know he wanted to fight the compulsion so he didn't. What he did fight was the compulsion to make him remember. As soon as the emotion started to come back and he realized Hayley was dead, he fought the compulsion to stop it for days. He'd rather never remember a moment of his life than live with the fact that Hayley was dead.

The argument really falls apart when, as you said, you point out the true Elijah. Anytime the writers wanted to cause issues for haylijah, they had to push Elijah into OOC. When she went behind the red door and he was the monster he was afraid to become and then when he literally erased who he was. Elijah with memories would have found Hayley even faster than Klaus cause he wouldn't have wasted any time. He would have gotten there before they even had time to bind her wolf side. Hell, he would have realized she was missing right away and found her before Greta kidnapped her. The only way they could have Elijah not save Hayley was to completely erase him.

I've talked about Elijah's decision to die by Klaus' side: here and here. To me, Elijah was always a bit suicidal so it didn't take much to push him there. Losing Hayley was the last straw because not only did he lose her, but he lost Hope. Klaus or Freya blamed him for Hayley's death and Hope hated him for it. Rebekah was ready to run off with Marcel, Kol with Davina, Freya and Keelin were moving on. Elijah was utterly alone. I think it had less to do with Klaus than to do with Elijah just having nothing to live for. I hate how people make even Elijah's death center around Klaus.

Klaus could have lived for Hope but chose not to. Elijah was going to die either way because he didn't want to live anymore. A lot of that was due to losing Hayley. Maybe if he had a better bond with Hope or anyone in his family had put effort into being there for him, it could have been different.

Thank you for the ask! I'm kind of sad that you would even think that of me! (Jk! I realized I've never spoken about it on here <3)

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angrygirlromero · 10 months ago

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OCEAN EYES PT. 3

Summary: In which the son of the God of thieves, is head over heels in love with the daughter of the sea God.

Warnings: possible grammar mistakes.

Pairing: Luke x daughter of Poseidon x Little brother Percy.

A/N: I'd just like to just come on here and say I'm sorry if I've offended anyone with my tags, I was most definitely not aware people took it so very seriously and I've learned from my mistakes, so I'd like to kindly ask everyone that if you have any more issues with my tags please just message me and we can figure it out, thank you and I hope you all enjoy. Once again sorry for any grammar mistakes.

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Percy Jackson was never one to be afraid or to overthink things but since hearing the Oracle's words his mind had not stopped racing.

“You shall go west, and face the god who has turned. Make the wrong choices and you shall loose everything. You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend. And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end.

He now stood next to Chiron with a group of selected camper before him, but the words of the Oracle repeated in his head, he wanted to choose his beloved sister, she was skilled, she could fight they'd make an excellent team for sure, but the prophecy said if he made the wrong choice it could coast him all, Ella was his entire world now she was all he had now, he couldn't take the risk of losing her.

He wanted to choose Luke, the Hermes boy who his sister trusted, he was a skilled fighter and had proved to be an excellent friend. But if he was going on a quest with the intention of saving his mother he needed someone who would be more than willing to sacrifice even him to see his mother's safe return.

Percy's eyes met his sister's as she stood in the middle of everyone else, he couldn't read the look in her eyes, was it fear or worry? Percy didn't know, he had block out Chiron's words a long ways back, he hadn't even noticed he was still explaining, but all Percy knew was that he needed a leader.

"Annabeth" choose Percy, Chiron froze "Customarily, one waits to at least hear a name of two before choosing" said Chiron,"Are you sure?" asked Chiron, "This thing, Zeus's master bolt, we need to get it back, right?"

"Yes"

"And it's gonna be hard to get, right?" asked Percy, "Extraordinarily" answered Chiron "And if the mission required someone to sacrifice me to succeed, You'd want someone who won't hesitate when they do it. And I also choose Grover" said Percy cutting Chrion off, Percy's eyes met Luke's as the Hermes boy simply nodded in approval, as Chiron announced his quest mates.

Percy couldn't meet his sisters stare, "The rest of you campers are dismissed" stated Chiron, Ella turned in silence walking away past Percy, "Ella wait I-" froze Percy as he attempt to call out to his sister as he watched her walk down the path Luke jogging behind her to catch up with her.

"In all honesty I thought you were going to pick her" Said Chiron, to which Percy sighed, "I thought so too" "so why didn't you?" asked Chiron.

Percy finally looked up at him his eyes moving away from the sight of the Hermes boy wrapping his arm around his sister's waist as they walked, "Because of what the Oracle said, about loosing everything and failing to save what matters most, I've only just found Ella I'm scared that if I choose her I could be the reason she doesn't return" muttered Percy under his breath.

"Oh Percy, but are you sure Annabeth an Grover were the right choice?" asked Chiron, "Like I said Annabeth would be more than willing to push me in front of a train if that meant completing this quest, and Grover is my best friend I'm sure I made the right choice as long as Ella is safe and happy" said Percy to which Chiron smiled before nodding.

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Ella hadn't spoken much to Luke since arriving at her cabin, "Maybe it's for the best princess, besides the moment you step out of camp an entire trail of monsters are gonna be on your tail, even worse than Thalia herself and you know that, and your mom or dad aren't gonna be able to intervene" said Luke as Ella laid back into his harms, her body placed between his leg.

"The trail of monsters doesn't matter Luke, what matters is Percy being safe and completing his quest, he's my father's second Forbidden child Zeus is more than informed about his being by now love, if he can he'll take a shot at him and I won't be there to prevent it" spoke Ella softly.

"I can't loose him Luke, we've only just found each other, I can't stand the thought of harming coming to him" Said the demigod, he voice begging to break, "Hey, hey don't cry, don't get all sad on me pretty girl, Percy's a strong boy, for the gods sake he killed a minotaur on his first night, he's more than capable of protecting not only his self but also Annabeth and Grover" said Luke in attempt of calming his girl.

"I know Percy can take care of himself but that still doesn't stop my worry" trailed off Ella as her eyes watered, "Besides I even started teaching him to sword fight this week, if anything happens Annabeth and Grover are gonna be right there at his side to help and guide him" said Luke ripping soft nothing circles into Ella's hip bone.

As Ella was about to reply but the cabin door creaked open reveling a nervous Percy, "I should get going, I have to go check on the younger kids's training" said Luke as he softly got up from Ella's bed placing a kiss on her forehead, whispering a soft goodbye to her before walking towards the door where Percy stood, "You guys should talk" he suggested before opening the door wider to leave.

And then there were two, Percy made soft steps toward Ella's bed as she stared at him with her brows frowned and watery ocean eyes, "Ella look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I truly wanted to choose you but I can't loose you not now, not ever, if I had chosen you and something happened I couldn't live with myself so please don't hate me, I-" Percy's Rampling was soon cut short by Ella opening her arm for him.

Percy quickly rushed to embrace his sister, she rubbed nothing circles into his back "It's alright little one, I get it I don't think I could live with my self if something happened to you either" said the ocean beauty as tears silently rolled down her cheeks.

Percy held onto his beloved sister, embracing her as if it was the last time he would ever see her.

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Luke Castellan had found himself with a soft spot for the children of Poseidon he wasn't exactly sure how it happened, but he knew from the very first moment he saw little Ella arrive at camp and instantly get claimed, she was to be his.

As for his relationships with her brother Percy was different, Luke knew what was coming, there was no stopping it and he would do anything in his power to make sure his sweet Ella never found out, Percy Jackson was nice boy, Luke had taken his under his wing and guided him taught him how to fly in other words.

He didn't want any harm to come to the boy, because if it did it would mean losing Ella forever if she ever found out, the Hermes boy made his way down the path towards the cabin of the sea God, making his way up to the cabin climbing up the stairs Luke was met with the sight of Percy sitting on the steps of the big fountain packing his things, the cabin door and windows were wind open allowing the blissful breathes to flow through the empty house.

"How much money did they give you?" asked Luke as he stood at the door of the cabin with a gentle smile, Percy looked back at the bag they had given him inspecting it before speaking, "Um, 200 dollars in cash and bag of these" Said the boy, observing the bag of weird looking coins.

"I think they're Canadian, maybe? or from Chuck E. Cheese, I don't know." said Percy causing Luke to chuckle from his stance, "They're golden drachmas" said Luke as he began taking steps towards Percy, "Dollars are for human world, drachmas for mythic world, don't mix them up." explained Luke, standing before Percy.

"I brought you this" said Luke causing Percy to stand to his feet to revive the box, "Um they certainly are interesting" said the son of Poseidon as he sat down to open the box revealing a pair of red shoes.

Luke looked around his attention falling onto Ella's bed as he chuckled at Percy's words, "Where's you sister?" asked Luke randomly, "She left early this morning something about some fish migrating this week, she dived through the fountain" said Percy with a shrug.

Luke laughed at Percy's words, "That girl's something else sometimes, she just starts talking about sea animals that I didn't even know existed, but I love to hear her talk so it's a win, win" sated Luke reaching forward to grab a shoe from the box he had gifted Percy.

"Maia" he called out, and wings spread out from the side of the shoe, "A gift, from my dad." explained Luke. "Do you guys get a lot of gifts from your godly parents?" asked Percy remember Annabeth's hat and his sister's necklace she had shown him.

"Not really only if they think you've earned it" said Luke with a shrug, "Your sister on the other hand, your dad showers her with gifts so she has a bit of everything" said Luke.

"That makes sense" said Percy as Luke called out to the shoe once again causing the wings to disappear once more before retuning it back to it's box.

"Um I haven't asked Ella this yet because I don't want her to feel bad about me not choosing her or anything, but do you know why Poseidon has never sent her on a quest if she's his favorite?" asked Percy, "Chiron and the other kids believe it's because your dad has bigger plans for Ella, I don't know if she's told you this as yet, but Ella was raised to be perfect in every aspect, to fight for her people and to rule, be a perfect little princes and heir. When she first got to camp she had problems finding out who she was without her father or mother's judgment, it took her long while to find her place and eventually she did, and now everyone loves her" said Luke.

"What do you mean by bigger plans? if anything she should be the one to go on this quest to get back the mater bolt, if she's Poseidon's favorite and has the experience" said Percy. "Your quest is meant to prevent war, Ella's entire being was to wage war, she can't be the peace keeper that's your job buddy, If anything her quest will be a war not a quest" said the Hermes boy.

There was a small moment of silence between the two teens before Percy spoke again, "I thought about choosing you before grover, you know" said the son of Poseidon to the son of Hermes.

"Hey, Grover's a lot stronger than people think" said Luke in attempt of calming the boy, "I was afraid. I have a chance to rescue my mom from Hades, I can't let anything stop me or loose anyone while trying, you have no idea how badly I wanted you and Ella at my side but the prophecy said-" Percy was interrupted mid sentence by his sister emerging from the water.

She every so gracefully made her way out of the fountain, taking one step at a time causing Luke to quickly turned around revealing Ella in a pretty blue bikini, Luke quickly stood to his feet his heart beat unsteady.

"You're back just in time" announced Percy shoving the last bit of money into his bag, "thank the gods, I was hopping not to miss you leaving" said Ella in relief dripping water on to the cabin floor, her gaze finally meeting Luke's, she flashed a pretty smile at him before speaking.

"Luke love, would you be a darling and pass me my towel it's by my desk" spoke Ella causing Luke to rush around the room to retrieve her towel quickly passing it to her, as he watched Ella take it to begin to dry her hair.

"So what did I miss?" she asked, Percy opened his mouth to speak but Luke spoke before he had the chance to, "Nothing much Princess, I just came to wish Percy good luck" said the Hermes boy as Ella walked in front of him by her bed to grab her shorts, "That's good darling, I'm guessing you'll be coming with us to bid farewell to sweet Annabeth."

"Of course Princess, where you go I go" Said Luke grabbing his sweater he had gifted Ella a few months back, "Thanks love" she said kissing his cheek, Percy sat there watching them, maybe he had nothing to worry about, maybe Luke and Ella really did belong together, maybe he had really made the right choice, or so he though.

Tag list:

@yummytootybutt 🎀 @mxtokko @poppyflower-22 @starryhiraeth @trashmouthsahra @purplerose291 @iloveneilperry @onlyreadz @mahidahi @stevenknightmarc @loveryoushouldcomeoverr @leopard-skin-pillbox-hat-ok

A/N: Hi everyone sorry this part is so short, but lately I've been getting a bunch of anon hate and they've made me loose a bit of inspiration. But please feel free to comment your thought, my tag list is still opened, thank you sm for reading hope you enjoy! REQUEST ARE STILL OPENED FOR PJO, HOTD, GOT, HUNGER GAMES, OBX, ETC.

#fyp #luke castellan #percy series #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover pjo #poseidon #zeus #camp half blood #disney #luke castellan x oc #percy jackson x oc #i'm so in love with Luke

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