#nonverbal breakdown

[radishthefool]

Kindness Goblins, Three-Leaf Clovers, and Mariana Trench Divers: About flooding the internet with words of kindness, calling out to the invisible majority of kind people, and finding each other at our lowest points.

I'm currently going through yet another episode of deep shit due to an unsnarlable mix of deep shits. I feel helpless and alone, and often it gets so bad that I end up having a nonverbal breakdown on top of everything else.

I realised one of the reasons that latter snarl happens is because my adhd masking behaviour becomes more and more untenable to maintain, and I end up either needing to write entire essays or not communicating at all.

And if I know the other side won't understand or maybe even read my essays because they're not familiar with neurodiversity, I lose all willpower and hope to even begin the unsnarling process.

So this time, I decided that my coping strategy was going to be to post kind and helpful and fun comments underneath youtube videos. I also call out trolls and bigots, and explain in excruciating detail why I think their comments are unkind. I call it being a kindness goblin.

Even if only I do it, and nobody reads them, at least I fulfill my urge to be kind and helpful. But already I've gotten comments back thanking me for writing a compliment, or sharing an idea. So already I'm cheering up some people or helping them.

For too long, trolls and bigots could foul up the internet unfettered. Despite not being fed, they thrived, and have now also contaminated the real world. Trolls and bigots could easily imagine they were the loud majority, and kind people felt invisible, isolated, and alone.

But if stupid trolls and bigots can change so much for the worse by repeating the same three flawed arguments over and over and never getting into actual conversations, and if the host of the waffle house can spread far and wide, then surely us kind and diverse and creative and empathic people can manage to start a movement towards a culture that is kinder and more fun. First on the internet, and then beyond.

And if I explain my goal in the comments and on tumblr, the kindness may even spread, inspiring others to be kind and helpful and fun. And then if comment sections are filled more and more with kindness and empathy and true attempts at connection and communication and helpfulness, surely that will have real-life effects further down the road.

I've seen kindness and (neuro)diversity going hand in hand time and time again. (Neuro)diverse people flock around kind and creative youtubers like Brennan Lee Mulligan and Dimension 20, Drawfee, and so so many youtubers/tiktokers who live in the art, diversity, feminist, and progressive corners.

We've seen what people can do when they're too sensitive to injustice and too aware of nitty gritty details to gloss over a company's attempt to replace an open-source agreement with a greedy stranglehold. Especially if they retalliate without having to fear for their livelyhood or safety, let alone their country's stability.

The current world calls out for that very same mix of petty, unrelenting, thorough consequences for those many petty, greedy, openly hostile and mean companies' actions.

We need visible kindness, we need to visibly try to help and support other people, kind people need to find each other and connect, we need to combine all our diverse forms of kindness and creativity to address the world's current infestation of meanies in totally new ways that don't have to involve violent revolution, poverty, and chaos. The many kind people don't need the few meanies, especially now that we have the internet to help and support each other.

So by now impulsively writing this rambling long text, I hope I can reach the people who already kind of think like me, who are used to having to work hard to understand and be understood. Who get me without me having to kindly and patiently work around bigoted insecurities, around translation issues between different modes of thought. And especially who don't require my unending patience and creativity to work around the privilege like the people who've never had to change anything about themselves to fit in, and now feel as if they have suddenly and unfairly come under attack when those who've worked so hard to be allowed to play along at the fringe in return start demanding a fraction of the effort we've been putting in all our lives.

Thanks to the Black Lives Matter activists, I realised black people asking and explaining nicely time and time again meant it was easier for those who are content with the current situation to ignore them. Most of us non-black people literally only heard them once they got angry. Some of us finally got it, many more responded to the perceived slight of their familiar and safe status quo with increasingly open and heartless viciousness.

I realised the same was happening to other non-white people, to women, to neurodivergent people, to LGBTQ people, to (mentally/chronically) ill people, to all those people who find themselves in multiple of these groups, or different ones altogether (to a lesser extent than the cruel effects of systemic racism on black people of course, but the process of exclusion is similar every time).

It was happening to me, and I had never realised that that was what was going on. The world sucks right now, and especially kind and (neuro)divergent people cannot ignore that pain and injustice. Either because we can't escape it, or because we can't forget it, or both. We feel bad, but a lot of that stems from us not being able to just continue on while the world is so bad.

I feel so angry. And so sad. For myself, but especially for all the other marginalised and excluded and suppressed people. And I will not stay conveniently invisible any longer. If I feel super bad because the world sucks, and because my body and brain suck, and because nobody around me actually helps me, and because I know there are so many kind people out there suffering at least as much as me, while maybe even blaming themselves like I did. Trying not to be a bother, like I did. Trying to get the people we (think) we depend on to finally get it when we explain it just right, like I did.

So I will speak up. Not as neatly and concisely as I'd like, because my brain and my body and my emotions are severely snarled. I thought I'd have to condense my entire adhd web of thoughts into a catchy single headline, or many neatly organised and well-structured chapters to maybe get to get one step forward. And I'd still like to do that. As you can maybe tell, I love writing (and when I'm not bone tired from everything, I can actually edit my writings very well).

But I know there are others out there who think like me, who will get me, or who are willing and able to work on getting me. And all I can think of right now is to throw out my snarled windweb on the internet, and hope it tangles with some like minds whose cognitive networks of associations and ideas and ideals can connect to mine.

I'm realising so strongly that the more I feel like I'm going off into the deep end, the more I'm actually connecting with my true self that's usually so well hidden behind that neurotypical mask that even I don't really know her yet.

And until recently I had no idea where I could find like-minded people. I had honestly given up on the idea that it is even possible for (neuro)divergent people like me to talk to people without exhausting ourselves and then still more often than not ending up disappointed because they still didn't get us at all.

And often, they were the ones who got angry or upset from that interaction. Because it 'didn't make sense,' because they didn't expend any effort to try and understand, because it was easy for them to turn around and just continue living their life as before.

But now I do know. There are so many similarly-thinking and/or similarly-feeling, and/or similarly-motivated people out there.

And if their minds are as associatively wired as mine, they will come across either this message or the ones hopefully following from and spreading outwards from it, and will spread their own messages that got inspired from reading these.

And if their thought processes work differently, but somehow their mind latches on to something I've written here, or something someone else writes or says or creates or does because of it, then these ideas and thoughts can get translated and transformed into other types of ideas and other forms of thought. And then we've got ourselves a stew going.

I hope that by bothering the world with my long-ass writings, I will find my fellow long-winders, wide-thinkers, and high-hopers.

So step one is being a kindness goblin in youtube comments. And I'm doing that. Step two was writing this, and I did it. I've been wanting to do this forever, but my (mental) health was never good enough for long enough to work on it consistently. To structure it properly. To develop the ideas in a sequential way.

But maybe it's better this way. My mind actually prefers working in many parallel and not-so-parallel processes at the same time. Of connecting and associating and spreading out and circling around points of interest and then reconnecting and rewiring but differently. But more.

I kind of like the idea of approaching these boringfied and invisibled world problems in my adhd way, just seeing where my thoughts and ideas and impulses takes me, and then watching what happens because of it.

After all, creativity does not happen after well-structured, logical, and well-worn sequential steps from a single rock solid axiom. It happens through a more divergent thinking process (which contrasts with convergent, more linear thinking).

Creativity happens if we allow our mind to meander, when we feed it with potentially connective thoughts and ideas and experiences, taking everything into consideration, not suppressing or dismissing the 'bad' or 'silly' options, trying to find new areas of overlap, of crossroads where diverse concepts can come together in new and previously unpredictable ways that only make sense once they've been connected.

For that, we need flexible, widely-connecting and widely-connective minds where many tabs can stay open. Mental systems that allow for empathy, uncertainty, comparison, connection, reasoning, feeling, and change. A mental network that isn't so strictly and narrowly wired that it can't accommodate any new information without threatening to collapse in on itself, thus triggering extreme reactions.

Step three will be adding some tags. Tag one will be 'kindness goblins.' I enjoy the image of many wildly different little creatures, hyperactive and stoic, flexible and stubborn, unpredictable and rigid, fast-talking and quiet, all of them unique yet unhasitatingly supportive. Our unified chaos would surely overrun and overwhelm lumbering trolls and rooted-in-place bigots.

Tag two will be 'three-leaf clovers.' Initially I just added that icon at the end of my youtube comments as a little present. A gift of kindness, and a small token of my appreciation for reading until the end.

But after another commenter asked about its meaning, I came to realize it's a beautiful symbol: three-leaf clovers are more common than four-leaf ones, but you'd never know it when looking at how often we see them represented online and in different media. Similarly, kind people are an invisible majority. There are more kind people than jerks, but you'd never know it from all the jerks we see online and in most media.

Tag three will be for people who are in the deep end right now, or know what it's like to end up there. I will call us the Mariana Trench Divers, because we go deep, explore all the nooks and crannies of our own minds and the entire world until we run out of breath, but we always end up coming back to give it another go up there.

Often those returning from the deep bring cool but weird stories. However, it can be disappointingly tough to find the people who will listen and care. Or who do listen and care, but that's it. Causing our stories to never move beyond these passive listeners. The stories run aground at the first stop.

There seem to be so few of us, and we've always been told we're uniquely different and nobody could ever understand us because our minds just don't make sense. So it's no wonder all of us feel like nobody else cares.

But I care. I love hearing new information, or old information but through a different lens, I genuinely adore weird ideas, unexpected connections, and unfinished thoughts. They get my own mind going. And then, if I can throw my own ideas and connections and experiences back into the mix, and then that gets absorbed in other people's mindwebs and gets their creative juices flowing, and those results come back around to me, and so forth, then I'm at my happiest.

And plenty of other people care as well. Did you know neurodivergent people make as much sense to each other as neurotypical people do to each other? It's true, researchers found that autistic people find it quite easy to communicate with each other. And I've experienced time and again that the same is true for adhd people.

And sure, those two groups, and all those other marginalised groups, can think very differently from each other as well. However, we can find each other in shared experiences, in a shared awareness that we need to work towards understanding and connection, in a shared willingness to actually do so, and a shared capacity to explore options of making it possible.

We don't actually have to fit in the world as it is now. It has been sterilised and monocultured until any trace of diversity and creativity and kindness has been driven to the fringes. Except the fringes are now online, and we can find each other, and all our beautifully different minds can surely come up with ideas that, compared to the boring, mind-numbing world of today, will be kinder, more creative, more diverse, and more fun.

☘️

[itz-pandora]

Misc AU

He forgot how to cry.

[starboodoesstuff]

Just had a breakdown about a cartoon dog.

But anyway.

How are you all doing?

[nocturne-daemon]

I wish sign language had been taught instead of cursive because if it was commonplace to know it like english it would save me a lot of stress during the times I go mute/nonverbal.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[aphroditesswan]

i thought i was on the way to a manic episode.

NO.

i got a depressive one instead 😐

i’m so sick of bpd

i need to be medicated immediately

[boydepartment]

enhypen texts when you shut down

a/n: i had a breakdown today bc i mentally shut down right before a function i didn’t wanna go to. i ended up going nonverbal for part of the night so that wasn’t fun. and i’ve had to mask for like over 4 hours so i’m going to be exhausted tomorrow i just am tired rn and needed comfort

warnings- comfort, mentioned mental breakdown, mentioned struggles w eating in jungwons

text screenshot count- 7

MASTERLIST

Jungwon-

Heeseung-

Jay-

Jake-

Sunghoon-

Sunoo-

Riki-

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Round 5 Match 3

Propaganda:

Haru -

"Haruka, ever since seeing a waterfall as a child, has had an extremely autistic fondness towards water. Enough so, that early on in the days of the fandom, we joked he was watersexual. He does indeed almost see all water as a person, and personification of things is common in autism. He constantly talks about how the water feels and what it feels like to swim in water, something that could be sensory for him. He also doesn’t like being constricted in how he expresses his love for water and even has something of a breakdown during the second season (eternal summer) at having to finally choose to become a professional swimmer or to keep swimming freely in the water he loves so much. Haruka is also very expressionless and somewhat monotone and has been that way since he was a child. His close friends are shocked to see him loudly laugh at one point due to being tickled. He very much masks his emotions, which during season 2 becomes a point of contention from his close friends as he won’t tell them what’s wrong. As I somewhat mentioned before, he doesn’t like change and does not adapt to it very well at all and the main problems for his character for much of the series is that he has trouble confronting change and accepting it and learning to live with it. Anywho, he’s a great character, in my opinion, and deserves to make it far in this tournament. Thank you for reading."

Saiki -

"He's essentially nonverbal (either doesn't talk at all or uses telepathy to beam words into people's head), practices making certain facial expressions in the mirror, hates crowded places (all the people's thoughts overwhelm and overstimulate him), exclusively enjoys eating coffee jelly (other sweets are good too) ((safe food)), feels alienated from society, and pure, primal instinct. got that autism swag."

[literaryvein-reblogs]

hi, i was just wondering if you could make a post on apperceptive visual agnosia? love your posts so so much btw

Writing Notes: Apperceptive Visual Agnosia

Agnosia - A rare disease in which a person can’t recognize objects, shapes, or people. Often due to a brain or neurological condition.

Visual Agnosias - Disorders of visual object recognition following brain damage.

Apperceptive Agnosias - According to Lissauer, are those in which recognition fails because of an impairment in visual perception, which is nonetheless above the level of an elementary sensory deficit such as a visual field defect. Patients do not see objects normally, and hence cannot recognize them.

EXAMPLES. Among patients who have been labeled “apperceptive” are those:

who cannot discriminate a circle from a square,

who can recognize any one object but cannot see other objects presented at the same time, and

whose difficulty with object recognition is manifest only with objects presented at unusual orientations.

Apperceptive Visual Agnosias - also known as visual space agnosias, are characterized by the inability to perceive the structure or shape of an object. Persons with apperceptive agnosias have difficulty matching objects of similar form.

This type of agnosia is also classified as an "Object Agnosia". Specifically, the apperceptive type, i.e., the percept is not fully constructed and, therefore, patients are unable to copy drawings.

DIAGNOSIS

Agnosia is diagnosed through:

physical examination,

neuropsychological testing, and

brain imaging.

Examples of neuropsychological tests include:

visual distinction between real and unreal objects,

facial recognition,

verbal and nonverbal sound recognition,

odor recognition, and

tactile form recognition.

Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) and computerized axial tomography (CAT) scanning may be used to identify brain lesions to aid diagnosis.

The above image shows the shape-matching ability of an apperceptive agnosic patient. On the left is a set of rectangles matched for overall area, which were presented pairwise to "Mr. S" to be judged same or different in shape. He was unable to discriminate all but the most distinctive, and made errors even with these. On the right are a set of rows containing a target shape (right) and a set of 4 choices to be matched with the target shape. Mr. S’s answers are marked.

CAUSES

It is thought to arise from a breakdown at relatively early stages of visual processing, where the elementary features of the stimulus are processed. Object recognition through verbal description by the examiner is preserved, instead.

These patients have relatively good visual fields, visual acuity, brightness discrimination, color vision, depth, and motion perception. Despite this, shape perception is abnormal in such a way that patients cannot recognize or copy pictures, letters, and even simple geometric shapes.

In most cases of apperceptive agnosia, the brain damage is diffuse, often caused by carbon monoxide poisoning.

In the rare cases with circumscribed brain lesions, the damage primarily affected the ventral occipitotemporal cortex bilaterally.

According to a widely accepted interpretation, apperceptive agnosia can be considered a deficit of shape perception resulting from defective perceptual grouping of object local features into a global percept.

TREATMENT

There is no direct treatment for visual agnosias. However, patients can benefit from rehabilitation to teach them alternative strategies that target specific difficulties.

Few agnosic patients regain sensory function, and most gains in recovery occur within the first few months or year of diagnosis.

Speech therapy and occupational therapy can help agnosic individuals cope with their conditions.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Thanks so much for your kind words, hope this helps!

[angelslilcubby]

It's important to always have a way to cope with things at all times. That's why I keep a cure bag full of stim toys, my communication shark cards that bubby got me and the loop earplugs bubby got me. They help when everything gets to overstimulating or I'm nonverbal or maybe I'm having a breakdown. If you'd like to know where I get anything I have don't hesitate to comment on my post or message me or send an ask! If you want suggestions for anything I'd love to help!

[xamiipholia]

okay y'all seemed to like the last one so here's a few more Horizon 3 thoughts:

Aloy won’t die. It would completely upend the series’ themes and just be really nihilistic.

Since Nemesis is a gestalt entity I think it’s a safe bet that we’ll see Sam Witwer, Carrie-Anne Moss, etc again. I’m curious how they’re going to do it because at least structurally, it’s basically a reaper. Maybe it’ll use different Avatars when communicating like the Leviathan in ME3. 

It's gonna take some work to make a flashback/dream/vision not contrived but I would love to see Varl and Rost again. I think we deserve that.

Minerva is gonna have its work cut out for it blocking access to both the dormant Faro Swarm and the ZD terraforming system. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Nemesis has some sort of corruption function that becomes the equivalent of the corruption in HZD. It would be a really fun tech showcase if GG uses Zenith nanotech for machine corruption and leans into mechanical body horror.

If we’re going to Ban-Ur I really really hope they do the work to make the Banuk less problematic and more fleshed out as a culture. A quasi-Spartan society absolutely would not survive in an extreme environment, *especially* without megafauna to hunt. The Banuk characters are lovely and well-written; they deserve a society as well thought out as the Utaru or Carja. I’m honestly fine if there’s retcons or revamps to the cultural lore because the whole “outsider barges in and becomes chief” is rooted in racist, colonial tropes and we just don’t really need that imo.

The most recent footage of Death Stranding 2 (also running on Decima) has me SO excited for the visuals. GG’s gonna knock it out. The facial rendering and animation that Kojima Productions are doing looks industry-peak and I’m sure GG’s gonna match that. Aloy’s Gay Panic™️ scene on the beach in HBS is already top-tier nonverbal storytelling through animation. Digital Foundry actually just posted a really cool tech breakdown of the current Decima engine. I’m especially excited about the environmental stuff. The ocean simulations in HFW are already incredible and I hope they increase verticality in the world. I can’t wait to see the Sacred Lands in current gen graphics. 

I really love Kotallo’s DIY arm and it’s so so important to his development but Beta and Gaia now have access to Zenith nanotech, maybe give your buddy a sick upgrade hmm?

Speaking of, I can’t wait to see Beta come into her own. She’s one of the best parts of HFW and Aloy’s character absolutely shines in a sibling dynamic. 

I wouldn’t get your hopes up for a romance mechanic. Everyone’s feelings on that aside, it would be really odd from a game development perspective to just overhaul part of how the narrative develops Aloy’s character in the last act of the story. Yeah, there are flashpoints but I would argue that the presence of choice in Horizon is smoke and mirrors- cosmetic at best. Kentucky Route Zero (which you should play) does something similar where the player is given a certain amount of control over the substance of individual conversations and scenarios and it does absolutely nothing to alter the plot, by design. I think it’s the same here - this isn’t really a choice-based RPG, the flashpoints don’t really affect anything plot-wise or for Aloy’s character development. Olin is still out of the story, Nil lives, Regalla still dies one way or another. Aloy’s character development is pretty firmly on rails (think Jin Sakai, not Shepard - you get to guide some momentary character reactions but that’s it). I don’t think HBS is a testing ground either - If they were gonna introduce a romance mechanic I think they’d just do it, and not spend two years making a direct continuation of HFW’s main quest and establishing a specific romance hard-baked into the plot, complete with multiple leitmotifs for the character relationship (which is something they haven’t done before afaik) just to introduce a side quest mechanic coming in 5 years. I genuinely can’t think of any game or dev that has beta tested a major alteration to upcoming game mechanics that way - it doesn’t really make any sense in terms of developer resources, and these games are extremely time-consuming to make. I know this is a thing a bunch of people want and I can totally empathize with that! I just think it’s probably not on the table. 

I would bet money the series will bookend itself and the epilogue will involve a) the naming of Zo and Varl’s kid and b) Lis’ pendant. 

Mostly I'm just looking forward to being surprised. One of my favorite things that Horizon does is use carefully established elements in the world to pull the plot in unexpected directions and keeping the world grounded while they lean into speculative science fiction. I can't wait to see what Guerrilla is cooking up

[lazysublimeengineer]

Probably one of my last posts about the Blue Lock movie and Nagireo/Reonagi in general because half of the fandom had watched this movie in the past and already shared their thoughts on this matter.

Pros about this movie is that it explored more of Nagi and Reo's thoughts about each other and how it validated some of the viewer's thoughts that due to their personality differences and temperament, it easily led to their miscommunication most of the time. I like that we were shown that Nagi isn't really a cold and lazy bastard in this movie. He cares for Reo in his own way. But most of the time he doesn't verbalized his thoughts and he shows it mostly through his actions rather than his words. A lot of people had stated that he wasn't that much invested in his partnership with Reo and I have to disagree with that. He cares about Reo a lot. Reo is the first person who has shown genuine interest in a slacker like him. Although Nagi is a passive character most of the time, he has an attitude that he won't be doing anything that he doesn't worth his time or doesn't his get his personal interest. He was going along with Reo's whims and wishes even though they're a hassle to him because being with Reo isn't a hassle after all. He doesn't like seeing Reo upset or sad as evident in their match against Team Z when Reo's face was in despair because of the possibility of losing against them so he made an effort to think and made an action for himself independent of Reo's strategy and judgment in the field.

Nagi acting and saying mean things to Reo during the second selection like "you're a pain in the ass" is a knee jerk reaction. He was hurt by Reo's constant reaction of being displeased and angry over his actions of choosing Isagi's team rather than staying with him because he thought Reo would understand what he was doing and how it would benefit both of them in the long run. He doesn't mean those things. When a person is hurt they tend to say or do things recklessly and would often regret after and that's why he's apologizing to Reo in his head (I REALLY PREFER HIM TO SAY SORRY TO REO VERBALLY BUT THAT'S FOR ANOTHER STORY). Nagi cares about Reo. A lot. He's just shit at verbalizing it to him. But he's shown it in his nonverbal cues and being a practical person in situations that calls for it.

Now for Reo it's an interesting matter. Because in the movie we were shown his more genuine and vulnerable side. The fandom always thought that he was a spoiled, possessive brat. But he was more than that. WHEN REO CARES FOR A PERSON. HE CARES. A LOT. IT'S INTENSE. IT'S ALL OR NOTHING. HE WILL GIVE IT ALL. NAGI IS HIS FIRST GENUINE FRIEND (IF YOU'RE A NAGIREO SHIPPER THEN YOU CAN INTERPRET THIS AS HIS S.O. OR WHATEVER). He believes in Nagi's talent and skill. He was the first person who saw his genuine potential and immediately shut down Ego's words against Nagi before entering the program. He caters to Nagi's needs most of the time. To the point that he coddles and spoils him (nothing wrong with that but it backfired on Reo during Blue Lock because that isn't what Nagi needs to be awakened at that moment). When Reo was hurt and was lashing out at Nagi it was a normal reaction of a person who was genuinely hurt by their actions. Because Nagi's decision was out of the blue. Plus the fact that Nagi made him promise of to stick to each other til the end, then THAT HAPPENS, REO WOULD FEEL BETRAYED ABOUT IT. I wouldn't invalidate his emotions and thoughts about that moment because that's his genuine reaction to that situation and Reo didn't even had a public nervous breakdown. It's just him moping around during the second selection but he still made an effort to be the tactician and strategizer in every match that they went into when he teamed up with Chigiri and Kunigami during the second selection. So, people need to calm the fuck down about accusing Reo of overreacting because he is not. It's a part of his character that makes him well rounded and more human. And that makes him more intriguing and interesting.

Now for the cons of the movie.

It will work as a side anime tbh.

There I said it.

As a Blue Lock fan, I was impressed by the first half of the movie then it was a let down in the last half because the scenes were too compressed and it was more of a fast forward of scenes that we already saw in the season 1 of the anime.

They should've made the U20 arc a movie honestly. It would work more as a movie rather than a second season of the anime.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

I bask in Carmy's striving to pay attention Sydney's nonverbal cues. The paying attention to each other. I left one scene where Sydney decides it's best not to tell Carmy about the opportunity with Shapiro because she picked up his nonverbal cues and his sigh as he got ready for her to speak. As she says, you're tired; they can tell they're both tired.

I'm not sure if what Marcus said is true if the communication without speaking connects to Syd and carmy. For better or for worse, there was a communication breakdown this season as compared to other seasons- where nonverbal cues and not speaking just aren't enough for their relationship.

[cybertron-after-dark]

Taking inspo from your post

Could you write about the mind control machine swapping the minds of these Decepticons and Autobots:

Shockwave

Knockout

Bulkhead

Dreadwing

Ratchet

Ultra Magnus

Wheeljack

Soundwave

Optimus

Predaking

Use a random picker or a wheel to choose who gets mind swapped with who

If you wanna take it further, then add the reactions of the unaffected members on the situation and their behaviour around the affected mecha

good luck and have fun

Ratchet < - > Shockwave

Bulkhead < - > Knockout

Soundwave < - > Optimus

Dreadwing < - > Predaking

Wheeljack < - > Ultra Magnus

Dear Primus the wheel understands COMEDY

Ratchet

His depth perception is GONE and he is NOT happy. He's even LESS happy that he can't CONVEY how distinctly not happy he is nonverbally because he can't even make facial expressions anymore, so he's taken to LOUDLY bitching even more than usual. Admittedly, the extra weight to throw around and the precision-designed clawtips are very useful, and he likes being able to pop out of the ground bridge and lay down cover fire without getting mixed up in the action. It may be giving him ideas for backup weaponry in the future.

Shockwave

The lack of his typical ranged weaponry is frustrating. That anyone should be content with bladed melee weapons alone is simply illogical. He also finds himself incredibly annoyed with the subpar earth-based altmode and all the unnecessary human designed internal kibble it comes with. He does not naturally emote at all, and he will not be starting today, sudden addition of facial features be damned. Gets pretty creepy to see Ratchet's face completely devoid of his usual grumpiness in favor of a completely blank look.

Bulkhead

By the Allspark he feels so small... Speed has never been his strong suit, and grace ESPECIALLY hasn't. Sure the drill and the buzzsaw have been useful when he needs to deal damage, but they're just not the same as good old fashioned Blunt Force Trauma™️. He gets frustrated pretty quickly. However, he does take a certain malicious, schadenfreude-filled delight in messing up the good doctor's finish. He might just take Miko off-roading before they trade back 😈

Knockout

DONT LOOK AT HIM, HES UGLY!! Knockout is going to spend this ordeal researching a cure while locked in a closet... Whatever closet is big enough to fit him anyway. All his usual hideaway spots are way too small for such a big lug like Bulkhead. Which means he's stuck out in the open... Looking like a clumsy, dull, green oaf... UGHH!!!! New plan, time to lock himself in the medbay and have breakdown work his magic with a rotary buffer. New paint job, new slimming decals, he's going the whole 9 yards to make himself borderline presentable. Whether Bulkhead wants it or not.

Soundwave

Soundwave is taking this very special opportunity to do a little trolling. Under normal circumstances, he's sworn never to let his voice be heard again. However... It's not really his voice, now is it? Besides, he doesn't have any of his remix equipment OR his visor screen. His normal means of communication are out. Though he does have Laserbeak to record him while he uses optimus's face and voice to say all kinds of horrible, blackmail-worthy slag that could completely ruin his public image whenever Cybertron gets restored. He'll definitely take requests too :)

Optimus

Optimus is a mech who typically garners a lot of respect, by virtue of his position, his demeanor, and his sheer size. What he is not used to eliciting, however, is fear. And it hurts just a little seeing his trusted allies shrink back when they see him. He has no face to give comforting looks. His voice is not his, especially not under so many layers of off-putting static. Even his big, steady servos, so used to pulling people up when they fall, are good for little more than striking. And that's without mentioning the monstrous tentacles he finds himself relying on. He feels terrifying, and he doesn't like it one bit.

Dreadwing

Dreadwing does not like the Predacons. He doesn't like the Predacons one bit. Call him stuffy with his moral code, but he's firmly of the camp that if something is dead it should STAY dead. The odd little experiments Shockwave concocted are no exceptions. They shouldn't be alive, plain and simple. And the fact that currently he IS one of the resurrected beasts and the brain of this disgusting undead thing is running around in HIS body is, quite frankly, unacceptable. He's going to be looming over the resident scientists with his new terrifying form until they find a way to fix this grievous error and return things to some semblance of normalcy.

Predaking

He feels... Terribly small. Especially in his altmode. Flying without needing to move your wings at all is quite a strange experience. As is having no face or limbs outside robot mode. He's just so compact and it's all very uncomfortable. He will admit, though, it's nice being treated less like an animal. He's yearned to be seen as an equal, true and proper, and this is about as close as he's gotten.

Wheeljack

Oh man, he switched bodies with the straight laced hard aft? Man, if Primus really has a hand in how things play out, he's one funny bitch. He's taking full comedic advantage of this situation, much to Magnus's chagrin. He's saying every swear he knows and breaking every petty rule in the autobot code that he knows isn't really enforceable. He's going on insane monologues about how rules keep us from descending into chaos in a horrible impression of Magnus that overshoots and ends up sounding closer to Sam the eagle from the muppets than anything. The kids are laughing their asses off. Bots who have worked with magnus are doing everything in their power not to laugh, with mixed success rates.

Ultra Magnus

Ulta Magnus does not care too much about being shorter or currently looking like a delinquent with no regard for anything other than his own personal amusement and some abstract concept of "coolness." ...Okay, he cares a lot and its very frustrating that people take a second to take him seriously again, but he cares much MORE about the delinquent currently inhabiting HIS frame and making a mockery of everything he believes in!!! It's unacceptable behavior and his body should be treated with the respect it deserves, not puppeted around for unfunny satire!!! He refuses to stoop to his level and mock back, so he'll simply stare him down until he gets the damn message.

[intothedysphoria]

Steve was meant to be working on his confidence. Billy wasn’t helping.

Autistic skill regression had hit him pretty hard after he broke up with Nancy and what had used to be Steve just being a usual dumb jock with a social life landed him slap bang into special ed. Because he’d traded in a stealth hate watching Kalvin Garrah life of parties, hookups where he never really took his clothes off and being King Steve, to not even being able to leave his house and struggling to talk.

Billy was meant to be a social coach, whatever that meant and get him back on his feet so that he’d actually be able to go to college without having a mental breakdown. What Billy was actually doing was making Steve freak the fuck out.

He was remarkably academic, a straight A student who mouthed off just enough teachers to stay popular while helping his single mom with his younger brother Max. He was hot, fit, creative and Steve had to use an aac device to ask for a glass of water.

Even Robin liked him and Robin hated pretty much everyone. That just rubbed salt into the wound of high school hiring a friend for him.

At first, he resisted it as much as humanly possible. Every opportunity he got, Steve would give Billy the slip and crawl back into the janitors closet with his notepad and sketchbook. Then get a lecture from his parents and the principal about it being for his own good. He couldn’t just refuse to talk to people forever.

Steve decided to take that as a personal challenge.

Billy took it all in his stride of course. That was the bit that pissed off Steve the most. He could be the most bitchy King Steve diva and the guy wouldn’t even be phased. Nobody was allowed to be that perfect.

Then Steve found out about Neil. The puzzle pieces started to slot together a little easier after that.

He decided to go a little easier on Billy. Begrudgingly, they got through the worksheet about appropriate responses to the word hello (patronising drawings included) and made it onto the shopping scenario. Billy decided to take a smoke break after that.

They both smoked in silence for five minutes. It was a nice change of pace and god did Billy look hot while smoking. Steve kept that thought to himself.

He got invited to Billy’s house that night. His younger brother opened the door, rolled his eyes and yelled like a banshee until Billy came skidding across the hall, hair still wet from a shower. Probably had a date afterwards as a treat for hanging out with someone as dumb as Steve.

The hangout was mostly sitting on Billy’s bed, laughing at truly horrendous archived Instagram posts until dinner. Billy had actually made him dinner. Mac and cheese.

Steves favourite.

Things were different when Steve came back to school on the Monday. There was an invitation to sit at Billy’s table at lunch, with the cool kids. Steves old friends. He took it.

Steve had really missed Carol. She was great and seemed genuinely excited to have Steve back. Even if he’d gone nonverbal again so couldn’t really talk to her properly.

Billy was absolutely jubilant. Of course it was probably just because he wouldn’t have to be saddled with Steve for much longer, but Steve chose to believe it was because he genuinely wanted Steve to be happy.

The crush had also become rapidly apparent, much to Steve’s dismay. Billy wasn’t doing much good for the matter considering how touchy feely he’d started being. It started out with just shoulder squeezes and a friendly arm across Steve’s shoulder but then they started cuddling. Billy kissing Steve’s cheek. In school. So Steve started doing it back because he certainly wasn’t complaining and hell maybe this was how straight guys acted nowadays.

It was very confusing and looking up why is my friend kissing me just led him to a porn site. But asking why it was happening might have made it stop so Steve just didn’t.

Then Billy asked him to the prom. That was even more confusing.

So Steve did the intelligent thing and asked “like, as bros right?”

Billy appeared to be doing his best impression of a startled horse at that question so Steve made the guess that he may have committed some sort of social faux pas.

Then he very patiently explained that they’d been dating since the day of homemade mac and cheese. That put a lot of things in perspective.

Steve said yes. Billy cried.

Then Steve discovered that a gay makeout beat a “he’s just straight and this is what straight guys do now” makeout by a mile.

This fic is a gift for @dragonflylady77 who is amazing and deserves the world (for any allistics reading unfortunately school assigning you a friend if you’re autistic is a very real experience 💀)

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

i have a request! can u write a fic where r just feels like crap like she has no motivation to do any work or study for uni and maybe steve just helps her out? ly <33

i’ve been in these similar situations where depression or a funk is soooooo bad i just rotted in bed in the dark. if you’re ever feeling alone you could always come into my inbox/dms to talk.

steve harrington x gn!reader

masterlist

everything feels drab. draining. grey. there’s not an ounce of energy in your body to even lift your head from your pillow. the little shimmers of light filtering through your shut blinds felt blinding on your heavy eyes.

work sucks, taking every single piece of your soul everyday. school is stressful, having a breakdown after a three hour study session in the library. you want to drop out, you want to be unemployed- you just want to barely exist.

there was a gentle knock on your bedroom door, you couldn’t even mange a simple hum or “come in”, you just stayed silent. a faint creak of hinges signaled that your guest was peeking into your room.

“honey?” it was steve. his tone was soft, not wanting to disturb, ��you awake?” you just did a light shuffle, moving your head from under your blanket. a nonverbal invitation to enter further.

steve closed the door behind him and made his way to your curled in side, the bed dipping with his weight. his palm rested on your covered hip, a comforting back and forth swiping. “how we feeling today?” a question steve asked when you were in a funk.

left cheek pressed into your pillow caused your lips to pucker and butcher your answer. steve leans in closer, asking for you to repeat yourself. even that felt like too much work.

“empty.” the one word pushed from your mouth, heavy on your tongue. eyes staring a hole into your wall, smile and laughing faces mocking you.

steve rubbed a line over your hip, “okay.” said in a tone a sad mother uses on their kid. you felt like you just disappointed steve. it’s not like you want to be down, it just happens and is a bitch to deal with.

a blur started to cover your sight, “i’m sorry.” throat getting choked by the oncoming tears. you wanted to bury yourself away.

“hey, no, no. it’s okay to feel this way. everyone feels this way at times.” hand leaving your hip to caress at your cheek, wiping away the few tears beginning to drop.

“it’s- it’s different.” “i now.” you both know that’s not the whole truth.

steve tucked a few greasy hair strands behind your ear, “why don’t we get a bath? feeling clean is always a nice step for a better mind. i could change your bedding as well, also make a snack to eat. what you say?” his thumb a simple weight on your cheek, his fingers pressing lightly into your neck.

a bath does sound nice. you were starting to feel the oil clogging your pores and you had a inkling that your room was starting to develop a smell that you were ignoring. you know what they say, a clean space helps a clean mind, or something like that.

“that… that sounds nice.” making eye contact with steve for the first time today.

his smile was beautiful. “okay, i’ll get it ready then come back.” before leaving he pressed a love filled kiss to your forehead and another before walking to the bathroom down the hall.

less than five minutes later steve reappears in your doorframe, a new glow following him. “your bath, ma’lady.” standing before you with a hand stretched out in waiting.

“will you stay with me?” pushing your comforter away and swinging your feet to the floor. steve took your hand, holding you delicately like glass. “for a little. i gotta do my other stuff. i can wash your hair if you want.”

“please?” already feeling your shoulders loosen at the feel of steve’s fingers messaging your scalp. he smiled, sickly sweet before presenting a kiss into your crown, “anything for you.”