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The two wolves inside of me are Autism and ADHD. And they're tryin to smash.
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The two wolves inside of me are Autism and ADHD. And they're tryin to smash.
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Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?
Tim: Death penalty.
Dick: Tim, it was just a parking ticket-
Tim, leaning into the mic: Please kill me.
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Bruce: There's only one thing worse than dying.
Bruce: *rips off paper to reveal the words 'Robin dying'*
All the robins: Me.
Bruce: No-
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Tim: When I was small-
Jason: *laughs*
Tim: What?
Jason: 'Was'.
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The best part about DC canon being a sandbox is that you can combine different parts of different timelines into your Frankenstein ideal just to give Bruce Wayne more gray hairs
Observe
Bruce: Dick you know you’re 26 you can’t keep working as a gymnastics instructor on a volunteer basis you need a career.
Dick who has been working as a lawyer in nyc for 3 years now: hmmm yeah you’re totally right B maybe I’ll take some classes
Bruce: Tim you need to get your GED, I cannot allow you to give up on education at highschool.
Tim who got into ivy university and has been zeta-ing back and forth: …hmmm maybe I’m kinda busy
Bruce: I have no idea what Jason does in the day
Jason catholic priest Todd: … yeah I got nothing
-this shitpost was brought to you solely to remind everyone that JASON TODD WAS A CATHOLIC PRIEST IN ANOTHER DIMENSION THANK YOU
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me, logging into ao3 5 minutes before bedtime: WAITER! bring me your finest enemies to lovers!
ao3 tag search function: excellent choice, sir! how would you like it cooked?
me: explicit. with a side of hurt/comfort
ao3: lovely! and may i suggest a drizzle of mutual pining?
me: of course, and can you add a spritz of angst? make it a 100k slowburn for good measure
ao3: coming right up, sir
me: thank you. oh, and waiter?
ao3: yes, sir?
me: make it gay
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Like no he doesn't deserve effort
I love when people draw the mouthwashing crew so majestic but then jimmy is just a scribbly doodle or a stupid looking caricature
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Jason Todd, getting 'surprise adopted' by Batman, who is apparently also Bruce Wayne, the lovable idiot billionaire:
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I love when people draw the mouthwashing crew so majestic but then jimmy is just a scribbly doodle or a stupid looking caricature
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Tim: Bruce would be disappointed in me if I killed the Joker.
Tim: But Jason and Dick? They'd buy me an ice cream.
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Joker dies bcs during his big dramatic speech of the day he tries to be be all insane and funny by pretending to shoot himself in the head with his BANG! flag gun but he fucks up getting distracted by flirting with Batman and mixes up his guns and he shoots himself in the face in front of the bats. Jason, who was being bodily held back from shooting him himself by Bruce and Dick for the past 15 minutes, laughs so hard he fractures a rib and has to be carried back to the batmobile
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thinking abt how. there are automatic farms in the dsmp still working. there are millions of skeleton horses roaming about. there are brown mushrooms spreading under the main dsmp area. there are pets on leashes waiting.
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the idea of jason hitting his head on doorways and tripping on his own feet because he got so big so fast is devastating btw
he doesnt fit in old hide aways, his hands can cover whole book pages.
he never got to experience puberty in a way that made his body feel like his
#ooh lloyd garmadon coded i fear#puberty is so important and you already dont feel right going through it normally#imagine going through it suddenly and beig treated like an adult when you barely got to be a teenager#<- THIS
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Fics where Batman's identity gets revealed with his death and the robins just keep on doing their shit are so funny.
Tim Drake at his CEO job like: yes, our father Bruce Wayne was batman. No, none of us know the identities of his associates that have our exact built and haircuts. No further questions.
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Bucky knowing at least 31 languages according to CACW, super serum brain enhancements and the fact he learned Xhosa in Wakanda, leads me to believe he must have the fucking gnarliest of language blurring. You know when you can't seem to figure out how to word something in one language so you skip over to a different one but wait no one knows that...
I also don't think English would be Bucky's default language anymore. It's his birth language, sure, but Russian is probably the language he defaults to now after 80 years right?
So if Bucky's ever delirious for whatever reason, extreme tiredness, magic, super drugs or whatever who knows, do we think he talks in the most insane blend of languages, does he say a sentence in Japanese then switch to Korean and then to Polish, do we think he'd point blank say "I'm sorry I don't speak English" in English to his English speaking friends or teammates because he thinks in Russian and about fifteen other languages before he gets to English, and then goes "oh wait I do" or...?
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It's so wild when you think about how much of a shift the batkids had after they were adopted by Bruce, because NONE had a sibling and were like-
Dick, who accidentally walked into Tim's room, spotting the robin shrine he has there:
Tim: ...I can explain
Dick, walking out: Nevermind! It's my fault for wishing for siblings when I was a kid
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Jason: Who the hell tweeted 'skibidi toilet rizz' 56 times from my twitter?!
Tim, salty about the titans tower incident, laptop in hand still open to Jason's twitter account:
Jason:
Jason: I wish Bruce had adopted a puppy instead of you.
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Damian, fuming after Bruce got them a shared hotel room on a vacation: I miss the days when I was an only child
Tim: Didn't your mom make like two thousand clones of you?
Damian: I would've preferred sharing my inheritances with all 2000 of them instead of you
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Dick, entering his room at the manor after a patrol and spotting Duke on his bed and immediately shrieking: BRUCE, THERE'S A RANDOM KID IN MY ROOM
Bruce: Dick, this is your newest brother, Duke
Dick: And you gave him my room?!
Duke: Wow, the colour scheme in here is so 80s
Dick: Consider me and you estranged from now on
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Bruce: Jason, unblock your brother, he is currently crying in the living room because of it.
Jason, had blocked Dick after the thirst trap Dick posted got over 100k views on tiktok and now everyone and their sibling was asking for Dick's number: What brother? I identify as an only child.
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