#nonbinary merlin

[justaz]

merlin raised by druids and being The Androgyn, you ponder it for a while and painstakingly come to the conclusion that you're staring at a woman. blink. you're looking at a man. long, luscious hair that morgana and gwaine are jealous of. pretty eyes and full lips. sharp cheekbones. uther's teachings that echo in arthur's mind and have been quieting over the years going dead silent the moment he sees merlin.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Y'all wanna know about a gender-non-conforming knight from 13th century France? No? That's okay- I'm fine with talking to myself.

I'm obsessed with gender performativity in early medieval texts- so obviously I had to know everything about Le Roman De Silence.

To preface-

So, long before there was the Marvel Cinematic Universe- there was the interconnected works of the Arthurian Legends. The original superheroes- King Arthur, Merlin, Morganna le Fey, and the rest of the cast. However, one of the lesser known (only arguably canonical) interconnected texts of the Arthurian legend hails from France. People argue over whether or not to include these texts as part of the cannon of King Arthur because it's technically french- and the french-english divide between characterization of all the main players of Arthur's court is remarkably different. Much research on this suggests the discrepancy of characterization is largely due to distance between where the stories originate, and sociopolitical tensions between the French and the English. Either people were too far apart to share stories- thus too far apart to keep characterization uniform, or they fucking hated each other enough to mess up the characterization on purpose. For example, many of the French portrayals of King Arthur paint him to be a rather terrible person, where English portrayals are generally more kind to him.

All that aside- many people will disagree that Le Roman de Silence should even be part of the Arthurian legend canon anyway- because it only mentions Merlin at the end of the poem and because it's a super french poem.

The main storyline is about this character named Silence. From the Old French Poem- Le Roman de Silence.

Gender? No- Never heard of it.

The latter half of the story in this poem is predicated on a complex mediation of Nature vs Nurture. What happens is that a baby is born into a wealthy family, and for sociopolitical reasons, the family decides to raise the girl baby as a boy. They name this child "silence." Silence grows up with full access to an education, as was typical for the boy children of aristocratic medieval families- this education becomes important later as Silence wrestle with where they fit into the larger social structure after maturing into adulthood. Essentially, they find the idea of marriage too boring and would like to be a Knight or Explorer instead. (I love them.) Anyway, it's fascinating to me that the conceptual ideas of nature and nurture are personified into being something like "deities" which are overseeing the growth of Silence through the ages- and so we get these deities commentary.

Silence wants to be a knight- so Nurture brags about being right that gender is more performative than it is biological. Then, later Silence grows up to be remarkably "pretty" and according to the deity of Nature- they brag about being right that biology and gender are intrinsically tied. It's such a thought-provoking mediation on gender as either performance or pure biology that I forget it was written in the 13th century- long before Freud or Lacan or any of the others who became hyper fixated on human presumption of gender as either a social category or a biological necessity.

I argued in a paper, once, that the narrative itself does actually finally end on the note that Gender is a performance, and it is tied into social roles only so the ruling class can have control of the population. That is why the stories ending shifts into horror-genre-esque of Silence marrying into the upper-ruling class.

I also have a strong urge to write a Fanfiction of Silence as a knight- who does not meet a sad fate but rather lives happily as a knight and eventually marries a princess. Okay- Okay? fine I said it. I said it-

Social pressure to marry?

The story takes a dark turn, however- when the King demands Silence to reveal themselves in front of the court. Obviously, even the author of the story was aware that misogynistic social standards would not allow for people to ever really be free of gender stereotypes and roles. So, Silence is then forced out of the adventurous lifestyle of a knight and into a marriage. Also, this is the place in the story where Merlin makes an appearance (I have a theory that Merlin is representative of the devil, and the author really hated that all AFAB people were forced into marriage back in 1200's. So that's why the devil shows up when all the bad shit is happening to Silence).

Inevitability and dismay-

What I find particularly interesting about this poem is the fact that the end, as Silence is forced into marriage and back into "proper" social roles for their assumed biological characteristics, is the fact that it is written like an early attempt at gothic horror!

So, one of the stipulations for something being a "gothic horror" is 1.) old, archaic, twisted buildings. (this blog is indeed named after my fixation with gothic horror elements, it's interplay relation to social reform, as its emphasis on decay as the tonal necessity for social indemnification). Anyway, the other most important aspect of gothic horror- is an overwhelming sense of desolation, isolation, and loneliness.

Sure, Silence is forced into marriage- but even with the forthright writing style of the author, we, as readers, are struck by Silence's loneliness. Thus, the "happily ever after" part of the storyline wherein the characters get married, as it traditional to chivalric romance, is recriminated against in subtext. Now, we have a moment in which the "happily ever after" is a creation of horror rather than peace.

Ending the narrative with marriage as equivalent to a loss of freedom and a sense of evermore-present loneliness, cumulating in the edifice of horror-struck fear in Silence at their own new future, is a remarkably bold social statement coming from a 13th century author.

I just think it's a really interesting text on the thematic points of negotiating Gender identity, in broader terms of performance and social roles, as much as it is a critique on the total social control that the monarchy held over the people of 13th century France.

Edit: I need to add that Silence themselves consistently rejects the idea that they are AFAB and instead only ever refers to themselves as "Silence" or "the knight"

[agent-holbrook]

EEEEE I'M TRYING OUT THE NAME EMRYS ONLINE (YES LIKE MERLIN) CAUSE I'M RLLY DYSPHORIC AND DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO EXCEPT SCREAM ABOUT IT HERE HAHAHAHA

[jam-of-time]

🧙🏼‍♂️ MERLIN 🧙🏼‍♂️

.

Been feeling a bit under the weather so what better way to spend the time than in bed binge watching and making fanart of Merlin? What do you do when you don’t feel well?

[chaos-has-theories]

Hunith leaned on her rake and watched as the car swerved into the driveway. It had barely come to a halt when the passenger door opened and Gwen climbed out. She looked tense. She was also drenched from head to toe. The hem of her jeans sagged, the rest of it looked damp and clammy. Her shirt must have dried during the drive home, but it had bits of seaweed stuck to it. Her hair was eighty percent frizz. When she saw Hunith at the fence, Gwen smiled unconvincingly, and sped towards her house just slow enough that it couldn’t be called a run. The driver’s door slammed loudly and Arthur came stomping around the car. He looked no better than Gwen: If anything, he was wetter than she had been. He didn’t even grab anything from the trunk, much less wait until he could lock the car. He just marched into the house and slammed that door behind him, too. Just as Hunith thought that scene couldn’t get any stranger, the back door opened and her son climbed out. The greeting died on her lips before it could escape. Merlin looked like a storm warning. Hunched shoulders, pursed lips, flashing eyes - oh, and he was wearing a dress. Not even a good dress. It was an oversized grey monstrosity and looked like it came from the garbage bin of a secondhand store. It was definitely not one of Hunith’s. Merlin had bunched it up at the hips in at attempt not to stumble over the long skirts, and he stomped past her and into the house with no sign that he had seen his mother at all. She could hear him all the way up the stairs, and then the slam of his bedroom door. Alright then. All the noise must have roused Gaius from his afternoon nap. He stuck his head out the door, looking exactly as bewildered as Hunith felt. „Was that Merlin?“, he asked. Hunith nodded. “And... a wig?” Another nod. „Hm.“ With a final puzzled look up the stairs, Gaius retreated to his study. Hunith turned back just in time to see Mordred clambering out like the smallest clown in the clown car. He was dry and dressed normally, but he was wearing an expression of utter defeat. With his towel held in front of him like a terrycloth shield he walked towards Hunith as if he’d much rather write a difficult math test. He dithered at the gate for a moment, and then met Hunith’s gaze only to sigh the world-weariest sigh she had ever heard. (Which was saying something. Hunith had lived with Gaius for most of her life, and would have previously named him world champion of sighing. Somehow this was still the most normal thing that had happened in the past ten minutes.) „My dads will pick me up in a few minutes“, Mordred told her morosely. „Can I wait here?“ „Of course“ Hunith hurried to say. „Do you want something to drink? Bal made cookies, if you want any. They’re in the kitchen.“ Mordred gave the door Merlin had stormed through a long, dubious look. „I think I’d rather wait out here.“ „Alright.“ Hunith watched as he settled himself on the doorstep, towel in his lap. With a deliberately casual air she picked up the shovel and continued weeding. „I probably don’t even want to know“ she said conversationally, „but what exactly happened at the lake?“ The child behind her made a noise like an upset mouse. „I don’t know“, he whined. „Merlin doesn’t tell me anything.“ Hunith looked over her shoulder to see Mordred scuff at the earth with his shoes, a frustrated expression on his face. „But I had to help Merlin put on a costume and Gwen and Arthur fell into the water and they both cried and everyone shouted and I think they broke up.“ „I see“, Hunith said faintly. That would fit with what she’d seen, but - she’d thought Gwen had broken up with Arthur a week ago? And anyway, none of this explained the costume, or really anything, but she’d decided to ignore that for now. „I’m sorry that happened. It sounds uncomfortable.“ „I’m sorry it happened too.“

[not-rome]

Anywhere You Go, I'll Be

Merlin/Lancelot; Nonbinary Merlin; No Warnings; AO3

--

There’s a soft, warm feeling that builds in Lancelot’s chest as he holds Merlin close, letting Merlin’s unruly hair tickle his nose. It’s about time for a haircut, but Merlin has been putting off, saying it’s more comfortable with the ends curling up from how long it is on their neck compared to when their neck is exposed. Lancelot always finds Merlin beautiful, even when their hair is choppily short or when it’s slowly framing their face in a more feminine way, but never entirely so. Merlin’s features are still strong and defined, but their eyes are soft and careful.

There’s a small groan from Merlin, who tries to stretch out of Lancelot’s embrace, but Lancelot has them confined to him. He doesn’t want them to leave yet, because that means the day has started, and there won’t be much time for them to spend it together. He wishes there were more hours in the day just so he can see his lover more than he does now.

“Morning,” Merlin mumbles sleepily, their breath fanning across Lancelot’s unclothed chest, before snuggling into him slightly. Their lips brush against Lancelot’s skin, and Lancelot flinches slightly at it. Merlin tries to pull away, mumbling a small, “Sorry,” but Lancelot pulls them back in.

He presses a kiss to the crown of their head and closes his eyes, letting himself really appreciate the moment. He appreciates every moment he has with Merlin, but sometimes, he thinks he doesn’t do it enough. Every day there is a possibility that they may lose each other, and he doesn’t want that day to come and he realizes he never truly appreciated their time together to begin with.

“Morning, my lady,” Lancelot says, and he feels them smile against his skin. He knows they’re blushing, especially with how they try to hide themself enough further into him. There’s a moment of silence that follows, though, and he wonders if they’ve fallen back to sleep.

“Don’t wanna go to work today,” Merlin says, and their voice is slightly muffled. One of Lancelot’s hands finds its way to Merlin’s hair, gently combing his fingers through it.

“We could play sick,” Lancelot says, even though they both know that’s not an option. Arthur will come investigate it for himself and then find his servant asleep in bed without fever or any sickness in them. Lancelot wishes Arthur would give Merlin just one day to sleep away the tension in their shoulders and worries in their mind.

“We could,” they say, playing along. The warmth in Lancelot’s chest spreads throughout him from it. There’s something so lovely when they do this—play along with their shared desires in the comfort of Lancelot’s chambers that he calls theirs since Merlin spends more nights there than in his own. “Or we could just run away, always play sick wherever we go.”

“Where would we go?” he asks, because they’ve only had this conversation briefly before when Merlin was drunk off wine.

Their voice is soft. “I dunno.” Merlin moves their head slightly, their hair tickling Lancelot’s cheek. “Anywhere as long as I’m with you.”

“Ealdor?” Lancelot asks, knowing how much they miss their mother. “Then I will show you the places I traveled.”

Merlin lifts their head up to look at him, and they’re so close—Lancelot could barely move forward and would be kissing them—and they look at him with such care that he’s going to explode. His love for them will be the thing that kills him, he’s certain of that, especially with how hard it is to breathe in moments like these.

“It wouldn’t bother you?” they ask, their voice so careful and concerned, as if worried Lancelot would be giving up his own comfort for them. He would, though, and they both know that.

“No,” Lancelot says so softly it’s nearly a whisper. “Not if I have you to face it with me.”

Merlin stares at him for a moment longer before leaning forward and kissing him. He wants to tell them that they don’t have much time left to lie around, needing to get ready soon, but he can’t pull away. Kissing Merlin is one of his favorite things to do. It always leaves him breathless and dizzy and never wanting it to end. However, he takes what they give him, letting them always be the one in control.

They kiss him softly, trying to convey the love they have for him within it, and he kisses back in a way he believes they’ll know he hears them—he knows. Their hands rest on his chest while one of his hands cups the back of their neck, pulling them in closer and closer. Then they’re pulling away, pressing gentle kisses on his throat, and Lancelot wants to pull them back in. He never wants it to end, but they have a time limit. Soon, they’ll be separated for the day until night rolls around, and Merlin can give him their undivided attention again.

The morning light is starting to bleed through his small window, and he wishes he could freeze time so this moment doesn’t have to end. He wouldn’t have to get up and watch Merlin from a distance for the rest of the day. Sometimes, he wishes that Merlin was royalty and he was their dedicated knight, because then they’d never have to part. It’d be Lancelot’s job to be by their side, missing training if he so pleases.

“I need to get to Gaius’ chambers,” Merlin says. They eat with Gaius every morning while Lancelot meets up with the knights, and the kitchen staff provides them breakfast. He wishes they ate together instead, but their relationship isn’t known beyond Gaius and Gwaine. “I’ll see you later, though. During training?”

Lancelot gently nods. “Yes. We’ll see each other then.”

Merlin smiles before leaning forward again, pressing one last kiss to Lancelot’s lips, before slipping out of his embrace and grabbing their clothes. Lancelot watches them stumble to get ready, always in such a hurry, and he chuckles a little when they nearly tumble over. They look at him with a frown, but they’re not actually mad at him. They only want him to think that.

It’s when they’ve finished getting ready and Lancelot knows he needs to get up, that he realizes their day is starting and they’re parting from each other. Merlin is nearly at the door when he speaks, “Merlin.” They turn, looking at him with a tilt of their head. “I love you.”

A smile blossoms from them, and their cheeks turn a faint pink color. Their hair is messy, clear that someone else messed it up, but Lancelot doesn’t tell them. He likes the fact that people will be able to tell they have a lover, even if no one knows he’s the lover.

“I love you too,” they say, and then they’re gone, leaving Lancelot alone in his chambers to get ready for the day.

[underscorede]

Due to the belief that all queer people were evil and sinful, the Hays Code and The Motion Picture Production code included queer media to their list of media that should not be shown. Queer portrayals of the media were viewed as sinful. Due to the pressure of religious people (majorly being christians) wanting media to align with their beliefs, these codes were heavily pushed. These codes helped push the view that queer people didn’t exist, that went for in cinema and on the street. We were not seen unless we were viewed as evil or used as a joke/punchline. We were seen as humorous in those times starting with silent films of the 1930s and onward. This is enforced with films like Edwin S. Porter’s “The Great Train Robbery as well as“A Florida Enchantment”. Due to these codes lgbt people had to look in the subtext of a film, a television show, or a book. It was simple in many films that had queer characters writers couldn’t confirm the relationship explicitly through dialogue. We could not show a queer relationships or talk about them (excluding the negative depictions) . We had to use subtext to express ourselves. It was hard to be seen and represented.

Although these codes have been abolished they still affect us today. With queer people being hired as advertisers and advocates for products, there has been lots of backlash. When people of the opposite gender just glance at one another people are lining up to say how those two characters are a couple. If the same thing happens with two same gender characters they are “just close friends” and we are “reading too much into it”. At the end of the day, no matter what we do as queer people we will always be seen as “reading far too much into” a story. We had to look for the subtext since that was the only way we were seen. It doesn’t matter how much we explain why we see something as queer we will be seen as delusional. Looking for subtext is something we always had to do and we still do. Since companies want to cater to the queer and non-queer audiences they will queerbait, in which they use subtext and jokes to hint towards a relationship that will never actually happen. They do this so they can make the most amount of money they can, they cater to queer people but they don’t want to outright confirm a character as being so, so they can keep audiences that may be homophobic.

*****

I made a video essay a while back, and this was a rough draft of the script. It was my final exam for my advanced film class last year. This conversation is something I am very passionate talking about. We as queer people are not delusional, we are here. We exist and should not be erased.

[kuronekofe-ao3]

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Merlin (TV)

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon

Summary: When you realize your feelings for your soulmate, their name is naturally burned into your wrist. Arthur is in love with Guinevere, so when Arthur's name burns into Merlin's wrist, Merlin decides to hide it from Arthur so as not to confuse his lovelife.

Free. Tips welcome on Patreon 💖

[paxopalotls]

In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boygirlfailure <3

For @emerillons I hope this filled your prompt well!

[dollopheadedmerlin]

No offense to all the fan girls out there but sometimes it is so refreshing to find fans of Merlin who are gay or trans.

[thedaselcor]

Yeah alright @reallyquitestrange let's go it :) (I'd been eyeing this oen anyhow). Rules: Make a 24hr poll listing the titles of every WIP you want to work on. (It’s fine if you only have one, still make a poll for the vote count). Whichever WIP title gets the most votes, write 1 sentence for every vote received.

[thingsandstuffandfrogs]

So im currently watching buffy the vampire slayer all the way through for the first time and seeing Anthony Head as Rupert Giles is very strange. The first role i saw him in was Uther Pendragon in BBC Merlin. So seeing him play a sweet, nerdy (and sometimes deadly and badass) librarian just so cool. That man truly has range. Also Rupert Giles is really hot so thats a thing. But Uther is an ugly motherfucker and Im glad that bitch is dead. So now Rupert Giles is yet another man contributing to my attraction to men who are twice my age. And I also like older women.... kind off funny how i think age gap relationships are gross while i myself feel attraction to people who are in their 60s......

[spacemancharisma]

my beloved requested Girlin and who am I to deny such a request

[your-blorbos-are-queer]

merlin from my time at portia is non-binary (headcanon) and aromantic (implied)

submitted by anonymous

[eden-3000]

I think you can see a lot of my A's in my shipping throughout the years

In my childhood (0-13) I dididn'ship anyone at all. Never even occurred to me that people would be in love and Canon just existed (AroAce).

Then my (supposed, undiagnosed) Autism hit in and I had to follow the canon, so only Canon ships.

When I watched Merlin my Agenderism took over and I decided to ship characters that gave me gender envy (though I just thought I had a crush on them back then, poor old me...)

And now my (supposed, undiagnosed) ADHD is ruling that part of my brain and decided to throw all of this together.

-> Few ships, but the ones that I do have are either very gay or canon compliant or both.

[gaypanic-epitome]

I have been rewatching Merlin for the one millionth time in my life because I am getting a Kilgharrah tattoo next week and I’m so excited I needed to prepare!!

Like you are expecting me not to rewatch the show I am getting a tattoo for…? That’s ridiculous