chaos-has-theories

[chaos-has-theories]

Tried to write something for this and ran face-first into the fact that I'm not sure anyone would be able to arrest her, much like multiple times.

I am working on a Girl Genius AU in which Agatha essentially gets raised by the Castle, and -

listen. LISTEN. I have a plan with this one so she has to be alone. But I keep cracking up at the idea of the prisoners still being sent in like normal. First of all the castle is fucking enormous - they're making their way in and through veeeeery slowly, they haven't found the master kitchen OR the bedrooms OR the library. Clearly the Castle could hold the prisoners AND one strange little girl in her private wing.

But also. The hilarity of everyone going hm this kid is really young to be sent in here and her splodey collar looks kinda different to ours but I'm sure it's fine? But how does this ditz who isn't even a minion to any of the sparks here KEEP SURVIVING??

and then my brain travels further. Megamind AU

Girl who has been born into a Atrocities family and was raised in a prison. Girl who DOES manage to break through. Girl who decides to leave the castle and explore the qorld and immediately becomes Crimes Georg.

Boy who has been trying really hard to prove himself to his father and be a hero. Boy who keeps arresting this girl. Girl who keeps being sentenced to Castle Heterodyne.

Prisoners who at this point just cheer whenever she comes back home

[chaos-has-theories]

Sometimes I think about the fact that Adrien Agreste is a child star and I scream a little. His entire life, every moment of his existence except bathroom breaks and sleeping are all broadcast to the public or threatened to be broadcast to the public. He couldn't go to the movies without people being weird. And when he's Chat its not like he's now a normal guy, he'd just another different public figure.

The stress of having to always be camera ready, always having to act to perfection, never slipping. He cant even voice opinions publicly without his dad being weird about it. If his public opinions are too loud there's this implicit threat that Gabriel will reel him back in again trapping him back at home.

Hes litterally not able to be a child. That's so messed up. He cant even be normal as Chat cause hes a hero and people have expectations for those. I'm rattling at the metaphorical bars here. Adrien is so messed up in such a specific way.

Theres also the implications of emodrien also being messed up in a simular way dispite his dad not being abusive. Like geeze every universe destined to be the publics plaything and for what, clout?

[chaos-has-theories]

[chaos-has-theories]

why do fake fireplaces always just have fake decorative logs? They could put anything in there.

[chaos-has-theories]

stop telling people to uncheck quick fixes in ublock origin

stop telling people to uncheck quick fixes in ublock origin stop telling people to uncheck quick fixes in ublock origin stop telling people to uncheck quick fixes in ublock origin

you ONLY have to update it, disabling it will prevent you from receiving further youtube fixes in the future

this button will update it ^

[chaos-has-theories]

The thing about Kilgharrah - the reason why I'm obsessed with the choleric lizard even though I blame him for absolutely everything that happens - is that he is such an interesting narrative device.

He's the audience stand-in. If he wasn't there telling Merlin not to trust Morgana ans Mordred, it'd be us screaming at the screen. If he wasn't telling Merlin that Arthur is his destiny, it'd be us shaking our heads about it.

The show is based on well-known stories and legends and it builds on the drama of knowing how it'll end and yet hoping it won't. But no matter hwo well known a story is: Merlin is a family show. You can't expect every kid to know about Arthuriana. You can't even expect every adult to know.

But Kilgharrah is there.

He never gives us details. His knowledge is exactly as detailed as the generic Everyone-Knows-That field around King Arthur: He can't trust Morgana. Mordred will kill him. Guinevere will be his Queen. He will have a sword of legend. Merlin will be by his side. Albion will have a Golden Age.

Sometimes I wish Kilgharrah had just kept his reptilian mouth shut. But, well.... he only ever told Merlin what we already knew.

[chaos-has-theories]

there was not a single braincell amongst the characters in this silly little show

[chaos-has-theories]

This HAD to be on my blog.

Credit: theemidknight on TikTok

[chaos-has-theories]

MERLIN | 3.04 ▶ Gwaine.

[chaos-has-theories]

Magical orb that puts a crime count on everyone's head (while Arthur is king), counting the crimes based on the established laws. (Crime count in brackets)

Gwaine (127): this is an outrage

Arthur(3): I am as distraught as you

Gwaine (127): no, no. You don't get to say that! I've worked my whole life on this crime count and I've got less than THEM?

Merlin (847): *crosses arms* protecting Arthur comes with a cost. What I don't get.... Is THIS!!!!

Lancelot (1084): I can explain

[chaos-has-theories]

[x]✨[x]

[chaos-has-theories]

Merlin is the FATHER of savagery:

“Look, I’ve told you you’re an ass. I just didn’t realize you were a royal one.”

“How long have you been training to be a prat, my lord”

Arthur: “We’re supposed to be hunting. It requires speed, strength, and an agile mind!” Merlin: “So you’re able to get by on two of the three then?”

Uther: “If this were a time of war, I’d have you flogged.” Merlin: “But since it’s not we’ll let it go just this once?”

“One day you’ll transform into a beautiful prince. But magic’s outlawed in Camelot so that’ll probably never happen.”                                      

Merlin: “She likes you?” Gaius: nods head Merlin:“Oh, that is disgusting.” “Imagine…imagine if she kissed you! UGH”

Arthur: “Take some advice from someone who knows about women-” Merlin: “If such a person existed maybe I would”

Arthur: “You have the mind of a child” Merlin: “Yet I’m still more intelligent than you" 

“I take it you haven’t come all this way JUST TO SMASH MY FAVORITE POT”

Leon: “Whats the job, exactly?” Merlin: “To kill Arthur” Leon: “Driving you mad isn’t he?” Merlin: “Not for much longer!”

Gaius: “Sometimes two heads are better than one.” Merlin: “Yes but not when one of them is yours.” 

“PERCIVAL, that is a sword, it DOES hurt”

“Will it be hot? Will it be cold? Will it be wet? Will it be dry?" 

Merlin: "I wouldn’t do that if I were you because if you do that….you’ll never learn of my plan.” Arthur: “… What plan?” Merlin: “EXACTLY! That’s why you can’t run me through!”

“Don’t think too hard, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself”

“Are you threatening me with a SPOON?”

Morgana: “You’re just my imagination” Merlin: “That’s right. I’m not really here. Just pretend i’m not really here!”

“The belt is one hole shy of perfection!”

“Do you want us to help you?…. Or do you want to do this alOoOone" 

……

…

No other character will be as iconic as Merlin :)

[chaos-has-theories]

The tortoise investigation committee

[chaos-has-theories]

Merlin: So that’s why it’s my destiny to protect Arthur.

Lancelot: I’m sure the basement dragon was very convincing, but that still doesn’t seem like a reason to stay where your very existence is a literal crime.

Merlin: Have you seen Arthur yet?

Lancelot: No?

Merlin: *gestures to the window overlooking the training field to see Arthur with his gold hair and blue eyes looking pretty*

Lancelot: Oh. Understandable. Out of curiosity, where can I get a destiny?

[chaos-has-theories]

Gwaine from Merlin

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merlin has more strength than me bc if I heard uther pendragon bitch and moan about how magic only brings harm after I just saved his sons life for the ten billionth time that year with my magic and almost died yet again, I fear id accidentally turn him into a log

[chaos-has-theories]

BBC MERLIN 3.05 ✽ The Crystal Cave