chaos-has-theories

[chaos-has-theories]

I love my people and it's amazing to see so many of us turn up today, but it's like herding very friendly cats 😂

[chaos-has-theories]

There was this park near where I grew up. I remember we’d just moved to the area so I was around six and we drove past and saw this waterfront area. My parents decided to check it out so we went for a walk. It was a lovely park, there’s a lazy slough, lots of trees, extremely picturesque. My parents ambled along the trail enjoying the nature while my siblings and I ranged around in their orbit like excitable moons.

Then I saw something odd. Something vibrantly alive down by the water that was entirely the wrong color. I called back my vital scouting info and my family gathered around me. We looked down the steep verge toward the slough, screened by underbrush. We couldn’t quite make out what it was. The only thing we could agree was that it certainly wasn’t a duck. However it was about duck sized and roughly duck shaped. It just wasn’t a duck.

This led to some heated debate amongst my siblings and I but we were forbidden to scramble down the muddy hill to harass the mystery animal. Reluctantly we continued down the trail, speculating wildly when a chicken popped out of a bush in front of us with a train of several chicks.

We froze. The chicken did not. She placidly herded her little puffs across the trail, pecking happily for seeds, unbothered by our proximity. My family had not yet delved into farming and this was the first time any of us kids had seen a chicken up close. It was like a fairytale thing, a creature we had seen over and over in books was suddenly here in the wilderness of the park. We all realized the mystery creature had likewise been a chicken.

Another couple came up the trail and saw us staring.

“Is this your first time at the park?” They asked?

We nodded.

They informed us that this park had become a dumping ground for unwanted chickens. Once the chickens were dumped they were park property and the locals didn’t mind the eccentric additions at all. No one looked after the chickens, but they got on surprisingly well.

As the years went by we visited the park regularly. Signs were added to warn people not to dump off chickens or they’d be fined. They were also excluded from snatching the existing chickens. The hope was that the chickens would eventually run their course and the park would go back to normal.

It did not.

Instead the menagerie grew. Peacocks cropped up occasionally, turkeys; and one visit we saw guinea fowl. But there were always chickens. Eventually feed dispenser were installed so park goers could pay a quarter to enjoy the motley flocks.

Because we’d moved into a house with land my mom started up a chicken coop and we got our very own chickens at the feed store like proper folks. The first rooster we had was a gentleman, politely clucking at us when came into the coop, but the second proved troublesome a year later. He either adored or hated me. Every time I entered the coop he’d dance and flounce and brandish his spurs.

My mom didn’t want to off him frankly she didn’t know how at that point but his fascination ended with him flying at me and the rooster was sentenced to banishment.

We drove to the park.

We saw him there for years afterward, clucking dutifully around a small flock of hens. He did pretty well in exile.

Anyone who’s kept chickens knows that eventually there’s always a tragedy. Ours happened when a neighbors dog broke into our coop and slaughtered the flock. I was absolutely distraught, my lovingly hand reared chicks all decimated in a flurry of senseless bloodlust. I have not loved a chicken since. They are too fragile to bear it.

After a few days of mourning my mom offered that she knew where to find some more chickens. To make up for the massacre she planned a night raid with us. We stayed up past our bedtime and drove to the park with tarp covered kennels in the back of the truck.

We crept down along the gravel parking lot, looking up into the trees, spotting the telltale lumps of shadows that meant chickens. We quickly developed a strategy. We picked a chicken branch, creeping close underneath. Then we reached the end of the branch and gave it a good shake until the roosting chicken glided down to the ground in confusion. It was easy to scoop them up and we went home the proud new owner of a handsome flock of chickens.

The Take a Chicken Leave a Chicken park is still a beloved feature of its neighborhood to this day.

[chaos-has-theories]

Posting a whole comic! Mending a Rift, 2022. 34 pages. Sort of sci-fi, sort of fantasy, maybe a little grim, very much slice-of-life.

A digital PDF of this comic is available in my web shop.

[chaos-has-theories]

What are your thoughts on the Style Queen concept designs?

The "AB" design on her belt is great, and the pantsuit definitely gives off much more "professional who runs this place" vibes than the canon jumpsuit and gloves do. Her hairstyle gives a much more interesting silhouette than the bob we got in canon does, and her whole vibe feels like a nice Miranda Priestly/Devil Wears Prada homage or reference, which I don't think is a bad thing. In general, I like the balance of values and colors on concept Audrey a lot more.

As for Style Queen itself, I think the one thing the concept definitely does better is the hair. Other than that, I'm fine with what we got in canon.

[chaos-has-theories]

Every once in a while my love for Septimus Heap will reignite and I’ll be faced with either doing something about it or waiting for it to pass.

[chaos-has-theories]

god i love people

[chaos-has-theories]

Here is my contribution to this year's Septimus Heap Big Bang! It based on @septimus-heap fic called "Know Your Place". It's very touching and definitely worth a read!

I'm grateful to have participated this year, I've met some awesome people, read some amazing fics, and have seen some great art!

[chaos-has-theories]

you have no idea how much it pains me that I can't watch goncharov. I want to watch this movie so bad it makes me look stupid.

[chaos-has-theories]

The lighting be giving mad scientist vibes.

Phineas has a teleportation pad. Where he gonna go?

[chaos-has-theories]

It always makes me wonder when I bump into a really serious Homestuck fan who's under the age of 25, because that means either you were reading it when you were eight years old, or you got into it when it was well past its peak and you're still Like This, and both options raise fascinating questions.

[chaos-has-theories]

[chaos-has-theories]

I'm being completely serious when I say Granny Weatherwax's "What about the fire?" speech from Lords and Ladies has done more to help me recontextualize and manage my anxiety than like 5 years of therapy did

[chaos-has-theories]

First Teaser for Percy Jackson and the Olympians Season 2

[chaos-has-theories]

when ur dying of self inflicted cataclysm and ur bitch wife doesn’t gaf

[chaos-has-theories]

It’s that time of year. Reblog with how many you’ve heard of.

[chaos-has-theories]

Jesus X-man Christ