#no this isnt 2 months late
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Final Show - July 8, 2024 - Moth Club
images from fans uploaded to this shared google drive
#yourfavebandfizz#fizz#fizz band#all#moth club#final show#live#no this isnt 2 months late#i was waiting for them to make a post about this show but then they never did#and then i forgot lol#rip fizz#ive missed making these posts
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Look at these stickers my brain is literally so huge. God. I love them so much.
I hadn't tried to do a sticker sheet at home before because I knew it would be difficult, and I was right! Getting the cut lines to line up with the print was super hard and there were many failed attempts, but it was so worth it I'm so happy with them!!!
This sticker sheet is for my patrons this month ^^
#like seriously I wasted like 10 entire sheets#normally when I do stickers I get to arrange them on a 'print and cut' sheet#which basically has these black marks in the corners that the machine can scan so it can cut based off of where those marks were#so it gets to line up muuuch easier#but with this I didnt want to have just like 2 sticker sheets a page... I wanted to have 4 for an 8.5x11 piece of paper?#cause of obvious reasons I feel#cause the print and cut takes an inch all around#I'm not sure it would be replicable either tbh? like if I were to design another sheet I would have to waste a bunch of papers again#cause for some reason the individual cut lines werent like... it wasnt like it was just entirely offset or entirely scaled 1:1#it was like some parts had to scoot up some spots had to scoot over some down whatever#so I think I would have to print cut and test again#but. also I did all that and realized. I could have been testing this on normal pieces of paper... I didnt have to use sticker paper#its fine! just makes me feel less bad about trying to do this again in the future#the sticker paper isnt that expensive this wasnt terrible#anyways. might do more in the future! I only have one other idea right now for a sticker sheet bt I wanna do it eventually#not like I wont ever have other ideas. obviously.#I just generally try to only make stuff that i'd actually wanna have so i'm not trying to make a ton of designs or whatever#this is actually also why i'm often sort of... late? on the patreon designs#not late like i send them out as soon as payments get processed for that month the design was for#but ideally id be making them ahead of time enough that people could sign up or sign off if theyre interested or not...#but I just dont wanna make a design that feels procedural... I CAN but I wanna make things that are creative and worth paying for!#so. I often will spend multiple days mulling over ideas for that months designs. so I'm not very ahead at all haha#anyways. yeah these are for october and then I've also gotta draw a halloween themed drawing for this year in general that will be the prin#i lov halloween#anyways.#patreon#merch#my bf didnt get it the gravestone box. its like a nerds box shaped like a gravestone...#and the nerds are. ghosts... its good. its good okay you agree
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tag vent
#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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Oh there was a trailer for a gritty crime romance turned modern-western revenge murder thriller except its lesbians starring Kristen Stewart at the cinema and I'm completely amazed that tumblr hasn't been going batshit about it. Love Lies Bleeding.
#i guess it only premiered like 2 weeks ago and isnt out yet?#its out in the us this week and the uk in.... like a dozen months honestly its a lil fucked theyre showing trailers so soon#the arbitrary differences in film release schedules across markets is so fucked#sometimes shit is like 6 months late in the uk#sometimes we get stuff a few weeks earlier#sometimes something just... doesnt come out in the uk or us or wherever#like the green knight uk release kept getting pushed back and then iirc it went straight to streaming#despite having been previewed for months by cinemas
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Sometimes one of your serial commenters doesn't comment, and you suddenly turn into a bereft Victorian, sitting at their window, wondering if their dear friend is alright.
#i'm okay its just also late at night#this isnt shaming or something#this is just the observation that i have consisteny seen this person's name in my email and ao3 inbox for nearly 2 months now#and at some point you worry if they dont show up then#ao3 writer
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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my mystery illness hurting me -_-
#.pdf#rd#sorry im about to start rambling and whining about my sickliness in the tags feel free to not read them if you dont wanna see that#feels bad. lately every time i do a little too much of anything (which isnt much) i feel miserable and weak and bad at breathing for daaaays#suspecting me/cfs or i thought maybe post viral fatigue after i got covid a month ago but 1) ive had the fatigue the better part of a year-#-its just that its gotten worse since recovering from covid and 2) from what ive read post viral fatigue is mechanically like identical to-#-me/cfs (when it presents like my bullshit) and also can persist and “become” me/cfs so i dont see much of a point in differentiating them#either way it soudns like i only have a shot at getting better if i avoid doing anything that triggers it to get worse (which is a lot) so.#cant exactly put my whole life on hold to lie around in bed for months on end. so whatever#also heartrate spikes while standing in a way thats very consistent with pots. another thing that causes Issues but does not explain all of-#-my symptoms. so i dont thknk its just that. whayever iguess im trying to get in touch witb my doctor cos last night it got concerningly bad#likee. did a little cleaning last night cos my mother forced me to and afterwards i got a horrible cough and was wheezing and shit#ik ik cleaning = dust = cough but in the past when cleaning has aggravated my lungs its felt so different and gone away almpst immediately#but like. i have since slept and still feel a horrible heaviness in my chest and shit idunno. dont like it
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#my posts#you know how this usually goes#i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao#... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better#maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more#2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man.#like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao#. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao#like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general#what i do isnt good enough#what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread?#and like all things considered i should be doing good currently#or at least not this bad#but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man.#so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao#also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me#but like.. more than usual#and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem#idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse#or they i will regret lmao#i. wont do any of those#also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die#not against it but its not the only option#just lay there and float..... also not against it#i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is#like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao#... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired#.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao#like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah#its kinda worse than i thought lmao
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Happy dancing. My partner is going to help me beta the first chapter of my soukoku fic tomorrow so I can finally start posting it !!!
#crab says words#crab writes fics#unfortunately i am still working on chapter 3 and have beeen stuck on it for ages now#hopefully posting and getting interactions with it will help to motivate or inspire me !!#the second chapter probably wont be posted until at least a month later despite being finished#im doing that to give myself more time to write so the gap between chapters 2 and 3 isnt as big#currently estimating the fic to have 5 chapters but ive reached the point where i dont have the rest plotted out so it could easily change#ive also been pretty busy lately and will only be getting more busy so it will probably be a struggle to work on#but i absolutely adore this fic and I've been wanting to post it for so long now aha
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Just finished watching the first episode of the paradox live anime
i gotta say, visually it looks great. the cg is really good and blends in with everything well so that it’s not particularly off putting. so far i think it’s pretty good at setting up the story and following the drama cd plot - though it is rearranged to follow bae this episode (sorta wished that we had akyr in the crowd outside club paradox but w/e) - and adding a few extra things here and there to fill things out.
i really liked being able to see where everyone lives and their casual clothes apart what we usually see in the MVs and stuff. also its nice seeing how phantommetals are used since i had a very hard time visualizing it but tbh i have mixed feelings…
considering the after effects phantom metals are supposed to leave the user after use, it feels like they just… exist. like they just float around the user on stage and its not really incorporated into the song. maybe this’ll change when we see more performances, but i won’t hold my breath on that.
like when they were revealed for the first time a year + ago it was cool seeing what each character had, but I didn’t really get how they fit in with their stage performances. like hajun for example, his are masks. how would you fit in a bunch of masquerade masks when performing something like galaxy or fabulous. or how would you incorporate zen’s rajin (?) in with a song like call for familiez? shiki’s grim reaper in life is beautiful?
basically, is it really worth it to have a pstd episode after performing and having something equivalent to pretty lights floating around you? also, they didn’t really show anyone getting a trap response. like i get it bc it’s the first episode (i guess allen slept his off? but we’d probably see it after they went back to their room backstage at the start) but it’s sorta… weird. shiki had an episode after seeing nayuta, but just plot foreshadowing.
also, i shouldn’t compare but i will. although hypnosis mic’s animation isnt as nice as paradox live’s, they still made actual use of illusions when on stage which made it interesting to watch. like each member has their own mic and speakers to match their character, and things actually appeared on stage based on what they were rapping about. the formatting is different since one is a rap battle and the other is a round robin individual performance but still…
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#desiree talks#paradox live#the song at the beginning was fine but the rap aspect was pretty forgettable imo#the cuts at the end for bang couldve been a bit more cohesive since the cute were pretty obvious#the phantom metals are my main complaint#but i will reiterate that everything looks really good#the lineart isnt that smooth but i think I’ve noticed that with several anime in the last number of years#i’ve been looking forward to this for months so I’ll definitely be actively watching it this season#also yeah hajun they need money to keep their business up not everyone is rich#your apartment has like a 100 inch flatscreen tv and you drove a massive limo to school and rode a helicopter to the opening show#your professor is just trying to keep the memory of his late wife and take care of these two runaway kids#no need to be dismissive like that geez (im oretty sure it was part of the drama track but still)#anyway im looking forward to seeing sasara animated in hypmic season 2 <3#Youtube
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god wants me to kill myself sooooo fucking bad lately lol nice try bitch im queer
#you dont even fuxking know#the number of. literally impossible coincidences that have taken place to make my life just so much shittier lately#i have been sooo strong ive written like two dozen text posts just bitching and bitching about the sheer fuxking insanity of it and i only#posted like one of them im doing so good being so strong#that said i want to fucking die today lol this shit is melting my brain#it just never ends#the past two weeks have just been... so bad lol#i havent been able to see my bank balance in weeks i just know im so in the fucking hole it doesnt even matter#i havent had a working phone in a month#my family just vacationed in hawaii and im living in a moldy trailer#and the physical and mental health just go and go and go#and the mold grows and groes and grows#my friend offered me a top of the line pc for free and it felt like offering a homeless guy who loves music a grand piano#like yeah lemme just keep that under the bridge downtown where i stay lol#itll be fine#its like all the nice things id love to experience are dangled just out of reach of my fuckin cell bars lol#might fuck around and get addicted to a third substance in light of hope being a fool's errand in a truly random universe#life isnt guarunteed to get better no matter how long you wait or how hard you try actually and that is a hard fucking truth for everyone#alcohol is free and can keep your mind off how much mold & dust you breathe daily & breathed in the past 2 years & thats also a hard truth#also reading this i need to clarify in case anyone else reads this shitsheet. i do not want to vacation in hawaii. colonizer shit#what i wouldnt fucking do for just a week up by priest lake tho :(
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#letting go. rather. been doing things in a day lately.#if it goes past 2 days im not allowing it. bc i need to stop obsessing over everything.#so ofc i took the time to have my daily doodle be bullshit as always.#i do need a break tho. pain bad. very bad. need to charge up bc this month is fucking busy. need to stop drawing .#ghost stories quote popped up in my head with this one. it is what it is.#irony of this one. forced myself to draw something about trying to quell the Perfectionist demon in a single day.#acceptable.#fk#m fk#c-c fk#i honestly cant remember the last time my pain was at a 6 or lower. its just been. 7-9 range for months now. im miserable. its whatever. i#kind of doubt i'll ever be that low again at this rate. its like. 2020 all over again. i cant. take it.#kinda hopeless but still here unfortunately#future isnt scary. its terrifying. its petrifying. dont want to live in this much pain anymore#sigh.#thats why doodles done in one day are good. less stress on drawn-out things.#hard for me tho.#ngl tho i found it unreasonably funny drawing this. i was quite physically cracking up imagining like. ok. youre quite literally choking to#death. and your face is all red. but only one half on account of the Syndromes. idk. idk why i found that so comical. i couldnt contain#my shit. so much so that i almost became the very picture i was drawing. bc i began to choke on the pizza i was eating. only for a#fleeting second. but still. saw my life flash b4 my eyes.#also a firm believer that pretentious artists are fucking stupid and annoying and at times quite ableist. and i personally revel in how i#literally am just like.oh. my anatomy i drew looks fucked up? botched hands? flat collar? asymmetrical eyes? like jokes on you. those thing#in my irl LEGIT are like that so technically my 'wrong/bad' anatomy is correct. suck it. however me drawing the brachial region vs me#drawing anything else is silly.#bc the amount of knowledge i have for the anatomy there specifically in comparison is so much more vast. so like i hyper render collars#and necks. meanwhile whenever i try and draw anything else im crying bc its such a struggle due to the fact that i dont fucking understand#how these other places work.
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it is wednesday and february which Should mean a new chapter of dusk to dawn, but i’ll be honest with yall, february did not exist until today so i have Not started, and unfortunately new schedule means i have four classes in a row on wednesdays (which actually works well for me except for This Specific Thing) soo no update tonight. definitely by saturday, if i can’t find time to get it finished sooner
i may swap update days to saturday, actually? monday-thursday is kinda packed rn between school and work.
(and side note for anyone following any of my other wips: i’m. yeah. working on it. a combination of several things have been murdering my writing ability the past 2 weeks and it sucks)
#bird noises#dusk 2 dawn#for you i would cross the line#god its been almost a month since i updated that one im SO SORRY#dressed up in shadows#free falling#ff isnt late yet but it might be! bc! everything
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maybe i start writing that new fic. as a treat.
#(long tags this is your warning)#everything is going wrong today but not in a magnitude where its okay for me to freak out about it#like. i woke up late. woke my sibling up. read fic. woke my sibling up (2). remembered having a different flavor of coffee creamer#leading to minor disapointment on my end. i wake my sibling up (3). i make another cup of coffee. i wake my sibling up (4).#pest control knocks and i have to answer the door and i just know that he remembers when i was awkward a few months ago.#i saw the recognition in his eyes. the old dog pees on the fluffy carpet. i have to clean that up. the dogs are barking.#my littlest sibling wants to set an alarm but the thing he normally uses isnt available. he's upset.#i tell him to grab the (no cell service) phone to do it. he cant find it. i tell him to look again. he cant find it.#i go in and i move a single paper and find it. “you have to look with more than your eyes.” the phone isnt charged. cant set an alarm.#i tell him to charge it. he grumbles. the other dog is whining because she's in naughty puppy jail (kennel) for being rude to the other dog#pest control guy is still here. i cant take the dogs out to teh backyard until he's gone. i cant go to the barn until he's gone.#i have a deadline. my littlest sib has a class at 4. my hands are shaking (3 cups of coffee)#being asked to do something stupid and unnecessary and annoying over text but its my grandma asking so i cant say that.#oh and also im mad because people are having Wrong Fandom Opinions but i am choosing kindness.#“if you cant be kind be quiet” i am so quiet. so quiet. not even complaining when they butcher the meaning of the media ha ha ha#SO ANYWAYS I THINK I DESERVE A NEW SHINY WIP THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT#GOODDAY. whatever im gonna go.... eat a cookie.#maybe my bloodsugar is low. maybe tahts my problem.
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Seething wailing
#i guess this is better than the constant numb distress#emotions#many#whiplash#having spent the larger part of the last 2 years horrifically depressed#and then falling bad a couple months ago#shits feeling rocky rn lmao#im glad things are feeling good#that its creeping in again#but THE THING#keeps tripping me#am i just doomed#is this just what im destined for#never being able to move past it in any wsy#always being immediately tripped up by it#maybe this isnt a post for this account but too late for that lmao
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Feeling emo rn (thinking abt that period of my life where the only thing I would wake up 4 was that daily mikey way pic acc on here)
#thx dailymway 4 being half the reasons im still here#been watching the acc since summer of last year im pretty sure#btw if it isnt obv the period was late february to roughly end of july of this year#tough months 4 me 2 get thru but im here rn and thats all that matters now#should i tag dailymway ?#idrk#dudes just a guy who posts 1 mikey pic a day#should i rlly b liek “yo man thx 4 keeping me alive when i was on the verge of killing myself”#its just gyatt damn mikey way pics idk how that of all things saved me
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