#its like all the nice things id love to experience are dangled just out of reach of my fuckin cell bars lol

[samwisefamgee]

god wants me to kill myself sooooo fucking bad lately lol nice try bitch im queer

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

Professor Kuroo Part Three

yes yes, here I am, part three coming in hot hope y’all enjoy  😈 hehe  I’m thinking this is going to be around 6-7 parts so 👀  

💖 J

part one  part two 

~

Kuroo ends up showing up at The Brew too early. Most likely a product of his nerves and the fact that after work he couldn’t get his mind off of whatever was going to happen tonight. He barely touched his dinner—a bad choice, retrospectively, as he sits at the bar sipping on his beer. Calling it ‘sipping’ is being far too generous, he keeps subconsciously ordering another one after he finished so he had something to do besides stew for the 45 minutes before your agreed meeting time.

Kuroo is a regular here, whether it be for the numerous happy hours with colleagues, or just to unwind after a long day, but the bartender can tell something is up. “Date tonight?” He asks casually, looking to help Kuroo loosen up.

Kuroo laughs, “God, I wish.”

When do you do show up—holy fuck, does he wish he’d drunk all the kegs behind the counter. That’s the only way he’d be able to deal with this situation. You’ve changed since work, and damn you to hell, why did you have to wear something that makes you even more jaw-dropping than usual. He didn’t even think that was possible. Making it worse, you don’t seem to particularly notice the intoxicating effect you have on him.

And when your eyes find him seated at the bar, he reflexively orders another beer without breaking eye contact with you. He’s really going to need it. If you notice that he’s quaking in his shoes, you don’t give any indication, which he supposes is a mercy. You stride across the room, heading straight for him and order a drink before greeting him.

He gives you a slow smile that makes your spine straighten, replying, “You look nice.”

Your eyes narrow. “Don’t start with that.”

He shrugs, holding his hands up in a placating manner. “Just a compliment, I know we’re all business tonight.” That sinful smile still on his face keeping you on high alert to keep your pants on tonight.

Once the bartender slides your drink across the bar to you, Kuroo motions to an empty booth on the wall near the back for you two to occupy. You try not to look too relieved that he’s at least being courteous to your privacy. This place is still close to the University, and while you may be able to pass this off as a ‘semi-professional’ meeting, you’d rather not risk it.

Upon sitting down, an awkward silence stretches across the two of you until you say rather bluntly, “Well you invited me here.”

He laughs and throws back at you, “Well, you’re the one who said we should talk. So, I thought you’d start.”

Fucking hell, you can’t help the pace at which your heart is thundering against your chest. Despite having all day to think about how this was going to go down tonight or what you even wanted to say, you had stupidly actively tried to not think about it as it made your palms clammy and like your heart might burst. So, now that you’re actually here, you’re at a loss for words. And really hating how much you would rather focus on Kuroo in this dim lighting and secluded atmosphere, making it rather difficult to breathe.

“I want to make it clear that can’t happen again,” you finally blurt, too many thoughts tumbling through your head at once to pick out a better way to word that.

He just lifts his brows, “You did.”

You suck in a breath, feeling a weight pressing on your chest that behind his teasing demeanor, he actually appears…hurt.

God, do you hate yourself. Hate all of this.

Sighing through your nose, you say a bit quieter, “And…not that it matters but…it wouldn’t be fair to lie and say I don’t wish things were different.”

“It matters,” he murmurs softly.

He keeps his face neutral, but hearing you say that makes all this simultaneously better and worse. Fuck—what he’d give to be here with you, drinking and making you laugh. Not oppressed by this heavy weight that you both find yourselves suffocating. God this fucking sucks. So much so that he lifts a hand and motions for another beer at the bartender. Fuck it to hell, he’s getting drunk at his apartment tonight. Who cares if it’s a Monday?

You watch him carefully. He was here before you got here, so you don’t know how many drinks he’s had. And while you been to plenty department happy hours with him, you’ve never seen him drunk, so you wouldn’t know how many beers it takes.

“I’m sorry Kuroo.” The words feel meaningless.

He’s quiet before replying, “I know.

“I hate to say it, but I think we should discuss a plan for the next couple weeks before the convention.”

“I know,” he repeats. A moment passes before he adds, “And I fucking hate that you’re right.”

The bartender slides Kuroo’s drink to the end of the bar and you take the liberty of getting up to grab it for him with the intention of ordering a non-alcoholic drink for yourself. Kuroo doesn’t say anything as you leave, just watching you quietly, forcing himself to keep his mouth shut about how beautiful you look. There were days in the office he found himself staring at you, entranced by the way you move; how your eyes rove your computer screen and papers strewn across you desk, how your pencil fits in your mouth, how your eyes light up when you figure something out—he’s in so deep.

Even now, with you making suggestions on how you’ll both get by the next few weeks without raising suspicions, he finds himself lost in watching you. The way your hands move when you speak, how your knee is lightly brushing against his under the table, and how you bring the straw of your drink into your mouth to take a sip. He’s just barely comprehending what you’re saying to him.

He can feel his brain getting fuzzier and fuzzier by the second, all those beers finally catching up to him. Fuck—how many did he actually have? He definitely was not planning on getting tipsy tonight, but previous experience makes it obviously clear how his better judgement is rendered useless when you’re around.

You’ve been watching him, noting that his attention is on you, but not what you’re saying. It’s like he’s looking at you in a daze, and if you aren’t mistaken, he looks a bit flushed. It’s an effort to not groan—he’s drunk. Or at least tipsy. And when you’re finally finished laying down your ground rules you ask him exasperated, “Are you going to need help getting home?”

He’s not even in the right mind to be embarrassed. All he can think about is how fucking cute you are, so serious about this, he almost laughs out loud. You love your job so much; he loves that about you and also really fucking hates it.

“Kuroo?” You’re a little worried that he’s been staring at you quietly for a couple minutes after you asked if he needs help getting home. So, you’re going to assume that’s a yes.

Abruptly, he says, “I do…except where do I live?”

You bury your face in your hands. “Jesus fucking christ Kuroo. Please tell me you understood what I was saying earlier.”

He straightens. “Crystal fucking clear,” he drawls, a sly smile stretching across his mouth. “No all nighters, we shouldn’t talk about not work, and we hide our secret forbidden love from the world.”

“Oh lord,” you mutter, trying hard not to find this amusing. You wonder what other ridiculous things are going to come out of his mouth. Setting your elbows on the table you put out a hand. “Give me your wallet, please.”

His eyes widen, spluttering, “I—I didn’t think you were that kind of person!”

You give him a look. “I want your wallet so I can look at your ID and find out where you live, you 6’2” dumbass.” You keep your hand outstretched. “Give.”

He fumbles around in his pocket before extracting a black wallet and handing it over to you. As you open it, he shouts nervously, “Don’t look in the left pocket!” You have to stifle the laugh that is threatening to leave your mouth that you don’t have to look to know what the round thing you’re feeling that is most likely in a square package is.

Instead, you pull out his ID and ask, “Did you drive here?”

“You looking to take me home tonight?” He drawls, wiggling his eyebrows for what you’re sure he thinks is a ‘seductive’ effect.

You smirk. “That’s exactly what I’m aiming to do, now—keys.” He digs around in his pockets some more before locating his keys which you snatch from him as he dangles them from a finger in front of you. Scooting out of the booth, you point at his seat. “Stay.” He gives you a dramatic salute, going stick straight in his seat, clearly trying not to giggle to himself.

Reaching the bar, you ask the bartender, “Hey, how many has he had tonight?”

The man peers around your shoulder at Kuroo and frowns. “Not enough to get him drunk.”

You groan. Maybe he had some before showing up. You hand a card over to close the bill, wondering how this is how the night turned out.

As per your instruction, Kuroo hasn’t moved since you left and lets out a theatrical breath when you tell him, “Alright, let’s go.” He struggles to get his long legs out of the booth and under him, enough that for a moment you think he’s going to topple over on you, so you offer him your shoulder for support.

His warmth and sturdiness overwhelms your thoughts as you help him towards the door. Once you’re outside, you begin pressing the unlock button on his keys looking for the car flashing its headlights. Locating it, you both hobble over to it—his height and build completely dwarfing you. He’s able to get himself into the passenger seat, even though his legs squish up against the dashboard.  

“How do you fit in this thing?” You scoff, adjusting the seat all the way back, his legs still barely fitting.

He laughs. “I don’t!”

“I can see that,” you chuckle, shutting the door for him. Heading over to the driver’s side, you slip into the seat and unsurprisingly have to move the seat up to even reach the pedals.

“Why are you sitting so close?” He observes.

“Because I have to reach the pedals with my normal size legs to drive.”

“I like your normal size legs.” You slide a look over to him and find him looking out the front window absentmindedly, like he didn’t just confess that he likes your legs. “What about mine? Do you like my giant ones? They’re very handy, y’know, getting places.”

You type his address into your GPS and find that he doesn’t live very far. Pulling away from the curb, you bite your lip as he waits for an answer. You don’t feel like admitting to him that yes—days he wears those sleek black slacks that are fitted just right, you nearly hyperventilate. So instead you go for a non-committal, “Sure.”

He grins and mocks, “Sure.” Then pins you with a stare. “I’ve caught you staring at this sweet ass so don’t go thinking I bought that flimsy ‘sure’.” He laughs again and you nearly drive the car into a streetlamp at his words.

You can’t stop the heat crawling up your neck. “Yeah well, don’t think I haven’t caught you staring too, so I guess we’re both screwed.” You retort, attempting to focus on the road and not his golden eyes boring into you from the passenger seat.

“Screwed,” he snorts. “That’s what I’d like to—,”

“Don’t. I swear to god Kuroo—do not.”

You know he’s just lost his inhibitions. Even if what he’s saying is truly on his mind and what he wants. And while this whole situation is laughable, you are scared of the rumors that could come out of it. You have no idea who saw you at the bar, who saw you leave with Kuroo—you could very well be jeopardizing everything right now without even knowing it.

Retrospectively, you could have just called him a cab.

He pouts. Then hits the nail right on the head. “You’re not fooling anybody. I mean, you don’t have to do this, taking me home where who knows what will—oh shit!”

You slam on the brakes once you pull into a parking spot in his buildings lot, causing him to lurch forward and slam back into his seat, his eyes wide with shock. Unbuckling yourself, you glare at him, saying firmly, “Nothing is going to happen. I’m taking you home because I’m a good person and you’re drunk and will probably pass out the second you get into bed. So, unbuckle yourself and let’s go.”

You shove your door open and stalk over to the passenger side where he’s unfolding himself out of the car. Taking his elbow, you help him into the building, and he manages to at least remember the floor and unit he lives in. Jabbing the button in the elevator, you can feel that he’s looking at you.

“Why are so you angry?”

You sigh, forcing yourself to take a breath. “I’m—I’m not. I’m just frustrated.”

He nods slow and solemnly, a little too slow for you to believe he’s regained his senses. “You wish you were coming to my apartment for a different reason, I know I do.” You can’t bear to look at him. This is all so wrong in so many ways.  And you can’t find any words to respond to him either. He takes your silence as an agreement to his statement, and when the elevator dings, he plants his feet and declares, “I have an idea!” You just hum in acknowledgement. “Let’s just stay in here and pretend like the outside world doesn’t exist because the outside world is mean, and I don’t like it anymore.”

That gets a full laugh out of you, and he’s grateful that he’s finally made you laugh, seemingly brightening up his entire world with your beaming smile. Taking his arm yet again, you attempt to pull him from the elevator saying through a chuckle, “I don’t think you’ve thought that plan through Kuroo.”

“What do you mean? It’s foolproof.”

Your attempts to pull him from the elevator are useless, he far bigger and stronger than you, and the only way you’re going to get him to move is to convince him. No amount of force you can produce will budge him. You decide to humor him. “What will it take for you to abandon this plan?”

“Make me a hot pocket.” A grin lifts your lips at his request. That’s all? Then quickly he tacks on, “And a hug!”

It’s innocent enough so you agree, finally getting him to exit the elevator and head down the hallway. You have to try several keys on his key chain before you find the right one and usher him into his apartment. “Sit,” you instruct, pushing him towards the couch while you go located his hot pocket. He flops himself down onto the sofa, stretching his arms out on the back of it and leaning his head back to close his eyes.

After heating up the hot pocket, you fill a glass of water and set both on the coffee table in front of him.

You’ve never seen a man eat a hot pocket so fast in your entire life. You force him to drink the entire glass of water and fill it up 2 more times before he groans that he’s going to burst if he drinks anymore. So, you make him drink one more for good measure. He complains throughout the ordeal, but you’re sure he’ll be grateful tomorrow morning when he doesn’t wake up with a hangover.

He stands abruptly and you immediately throw your hands out to catch him in case he topples over, but he’s steady and pinning you with an intense stare. “Time to follow up on the second part of the deal,” he declares, opening his arms wide, an alarmingly serious expression on his face. “It better be a good one!”

You smile softly to yourself, getting to your feet from your seat on the coffee table. Stepping closer to him, you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes. He hunches ever so slightly, folding you in his embrace, and pulling you flush against his body. His head lowers to rest on your shoulder, his dark mess of hair tickling your neck and the scent of his cologne and body wash overwhelming your senses. This feels so right and the world is cruel for making you endure it.

“New plan,” he murmurs against your neck, sending goosebumps prickling over your arms. “We stay like this.”

You huff out a laugh, greedily allowing yourself to bury your face into his shoulder. “Can’t.” He sags against you, clearly disappointed by that answer. Even more disappointed when you release his neck and step out of his arms, muttering, “I think I should leave now, and you should go to sleep.”

Distantly he answers, “Yeah.” Then turns to head down the hallway towards his bedroom.

“Kuroo?”

“Hm?”

He looks over his shoulder to find you standing in his living room, looking like you’re on the brink of throwing all caution to the wind and following him.

“Goodnight,” you say instead. 

He smiles as best he can. “Goodnight.”

And once the door to his bedroom is shut, you quietly slip out the front door and sag against it when it closes.

That didn’t help things at all.

~

part four

[shhh-no-ones-home]

give what it takes* 1/2 Remington leith x reader

+++++++++

hello i still hate writing for actual people but ya girls gotta do what ya girls gotta do, i love palaye and ive been like super obsessed with them again lately cause im seeing them in may and just bought their palette and cant stop thinking about it so ya know here it is #noshame #someshame

* - smut, mentions of sex, mention of kinks, thigh riding, etc. Read at your own risk

song: get some by ghosted

+++++++++

the concert ended but the party didnt. i was lucky enough to be on tour with palaye but still had work to do when the shows were over. it was a week we had stops that were close enough together to stay at an air b&b for the night, which was nice since i could finally sit down and get things done. we had all went back to the house after the concert to get cleaned up, the boys being extremely sweaty from the stage lights and high energy performance. i sat at the island typing as they all ran around getting ready for the night ahead of them. i sat quietly as they conversed with their girlfriends who were visiting for the weekend.

i looked up when remington threw himself into the bar stool across the counter from me. he smiled at me before picking up one of the apples from the bowl on the counter and tossing it in the air. he took a large bite out of it as emerson walked out into the kitchen/living room.

"you going with us tonight?"

i looked down at my laptop to scan my work before looking back at him.

"i dont think so, its already eleven and ive got too much work to do tonight."

he frowned at me before gesturing to remington.

"you coming?"

rem looked at me and i peered at him over my laptop.

"ya know what, why dont you guys go ahead, ill stay here and help y/n."

i looked up completely, shock written on my features.

"you dont have to do that rem, you should go and have fun."

his 'girlfriend' walked up to his side and played with his hair.

"yeah remi, come have fun with us, she doesnt need your help to do her job."

she peered at me and i sent her a stern glare.

he rubbed her back.

"why dont you go hang out with them, ill be right here when you get back."

she leaned down and kissed him and led the way for them all to leave. when the door was closed me and remi were the only two left in the house. he tapped the counter as i went back to typing.

"so, its been a while since we were alone together."

i looked up at him.

"yep."

i went back to typing.

"whatcha doin over there?"

"fixing lighting."

"whats wrong with the lighting?"

i looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"the yellows and greens where washing Emerson out the whole show. i have to fix the positioning on my renderings for the next venue."

he nodded and made an o with his mouth. i went back to typing.

"is there anything else you have to fix?"

i looked up at him.

"a couple things."

"like?"

i sighed.

"remington if you keep asking me questions im not gonna get anything done."

i laughed lightly and he smiled at me, throwing his hands in the air in defeat.

"okay, okay, if you want help with anything let me know, im gonna go chill on the couch."

he motioned behind him and i nodded before getting back to work.

---

i sighed and stretched, i had been sitting on this bar stool for almost two hours. none of the group had showed back up yet and remington was still sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. i closed my laptop as i heard him laugh out loud at something he saw on his feed. i rolled my eyes before standing and shaking out my legs.

"god, i feel like ive been curled over forever."

he turned to look at me as i made my way to the couch, sitting on the arm rest next to him. he slid down the settings on his phone to look at the time more clearly.

"well, in all fairness you have been sitting on your computer for over two hours, its one."

i groaned.

"yeah, im surprised no ones back yet."

he stretched and clasped his hands together behind his head, lengthening his body.

"im not, when the boys drink, the boys drink."

he laughed and i just shook my head.

"whatever."

he nudged my leg with his elbow.

"do you wanna do something now that your work is done?"

i shrugged and let my legs fall on either side of the arm rest.

"what did you have in mind?"

i looked down at him, seeing him quickly opening youtube then shoving his phone in my face.,

"look at this."

i leaned back a little before taking it and watching the video. i looked at remington funny.

"really?"

he shrugged.

"what?"

i turned the phone around to show him.

"boy out here on the weird side of youtube."

he laughed and took the phone back.

"i mean you didnt have to take it."

i rolled my eyes.

"yeah but i was curious."

he raised an eyebrow and smirked at me.

"arent we all."

i winked at him.

"you know it."

he leaned toward me and rested his arm on my thigh, smacking my knee with his hand. i shifted.

"what?"

i shook my head.

"nothing."

he tapped my my knee with his fingers like he was playing a keyboard. i watched his hand intently before looking back at him staring at me. he raised an eyebrow.

"okay maybe im just a little touch starved."

i ran a hand through my hair and looked away from him. he scooted closer to me.

"touch starved?"

i looked back at him and nodded slowly. he locked eyes with me and squeezed my lower thigh.

"are you okay?"

i shrugged.

"i just dont touch people or let people touch me and thats one of the leading reasons im depressed and sick all the time. like adult humans need affection and hugs and kisses and things like that but i cut myself off so i dont really get the things that my brain needs to be happy."

i looked ahead of me, i didnt care to see his pity ridden face. suddenly he moved and hugged me tightly from the side, his left ear pressed to my right arm.

"do you feel better yet?"

i laughed.

"yes rem, definitely."

i ruffled his hair lightly with my left hand and he looked up at me but didnt remove his arms from my body.

"liar."

i slouched into him.

"okay, its not like you can fix it right away."

he loosened his grip a little before kneeling next to me on the couch and squishing my face in his hands.

"what else would you want me to try?"

i shrugged.

"did you ever used to try things to feel better? like find one person to hug everyday or something?"

i laughed and he let go of my face. i just shook my head,

"what?"

i looked at him knowingly.

"sex. i used to have sex."

his face went straight.

"sex."

i nodded.

"yeah, i used to have sex to make myself feel better, it was intimate and 'affectionate' touching for at least a night. in case you haven't noticed though i havent been with anyone since we started plans for tour months ago so yeah theres nothing i can really do about that."

he sat back on his knees defeated.

"i guess you couldnt masturbate either cause thats still not another person touching you, that you touching yourself."

he looked at me with a straight face before we both laughed. he laid back on the couch, his feet pushed up against the arm rest i was sitting on. he rested one hand behind his head and the other on his stomach.

"so, did you just find random dudes or?"

i sent him a look.

"really, thats what your worried about right now?"

he shrugged.

"i figured it was a ligther topic i dont know."

i just shook my head.

"no they werent just random dudes, you gotta have a connection first ya know. they were people that i had hung out with before, kind of close but not enough for them to care if we slept together and then didnt talk for a little while ya know. it was always easier that way cause i knew who wanted a screw and who wanted more depending on the mood i was in."

he raised a brow.

"particular people for particular kinks or turn ons?"

i smiled at him.

"yeah sometimes."

"like?"

"like people or like turn ons and kinks?"

"turn ons and kinks, i couldnt care less about the people."

i laughed at the face he made.

"what you want a reference?"

"just trying to see what kind of person youre hiding under that hard exterior."

i raised a brow and smirked at him.

"okay, well for starters id say soft touches."

he laughed.

"wow, soft touches?"

"dont laugh, its a turn on, start light and build up ya know."

"youre right, continue."

"neck fetish, not just like i like necks im talking like hickeys and kissing and licking, weird vampire shit ya know."

"amen to that."

i laughed at him.

"thigh riding-"

"im sorry what?"

"thigh riding?"

"yeah what the hell kinda?"

i lifted my foot up on the couch so it wasnt dangling in front of it anymore.

"its where you are on someones lap or like knelt over one of their thighs while their sitting down and grind yourself on them to get off. i guess in my instance making out with someone while they touch me, but while thats happening im riding their thigh.? "

"that sounds like itd be an  experience."

i looked at him with a sly smile.

"oh it is."

there was a pause.

"can you show me?"

if i was drinking i would have spat all over the place.

"you what?"

"can you should me? i mean your on the arm of the chair, you could do it on that right?"

i laughed.

"do you know how wet that would make someone? the couch would be near ruined."

i laughed.

"so do it on me."

i stopped and looked at him, he was staring up at me with a very serious face.

"You're joking right?"

"What's wrong with two friends hooking up?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know how about the fact that you kinda have a girlfriend."

"Oh come on no one here even likes her, not even me, and we're not really dating she's just like around."

I rolled my eyes.

"Tell her that."

"I'm telling you that, now get over here and show what the heck thigh riding is."

[wueyahfantai]

Emotionless for tusira

Send my muse a word and they’ll tell you something about their past related to that word (Angst Edition).

“YKNOW, WHEN I WAS A WIGGLER, BOUT SIX SWEEPS OLD, I READ A BOOK I STOLE FROM THE LIBRARY WHILE BEING ORDERED TO CLEAN IT. IT SAID THAT MOST TROLLS THAT EXPERIENCE THEIR FIRST MURDER ARE AROUND SIX TO SEVEN SWEEPS OLD AND THEIR MOST COMMON REACTION TO THEIR FIRST DEATH, REGARDLESS OF HOW IT CAME ABOUT, IS OFTEN NAUSEA AND OTHER SHIT BECAUSE YOURE FREAKING OUT.”

“‘CAUSE YOURE LIKE, ‘HOW COULD I DO THIS?! I TOOK ANOTHER TROLLS LIFE! THEIR QUADS ARE GOING TO BE AFTER MY ASS, IM GOING TO DIE, OH NO!”

“SO... I KIND OF THOUGHT ID BE THE SAME WAY. ‘CAUSE AT THE TIME I NEVER ACTUALLY WILLINGLY MURDERED SOMEONE. I CAUSED TROLLS TO DIE BUT NOT DIRECTLY. BORING, RIGHT?”

“SO LIKE... A PERIGEE OR SO PASSES AND THERE WAS A FIRE AT ONE OF THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE FACTORIES I WAS WORKING IN. I DUNNO WHAT STARTED THE FIRE, PROBABLY SOMEONE WHO DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE DOING, WHICH MADE SENSE SINCE YKNOW, WE WERE ALL KIDS.”

“I WAS THE FIRST ONE TO GET OUT. I TOOK ONE OF THE MEATHOOKS THAT HADNT BEEN USED AND I SMASHED A WINDOW WITH IT. I CLIMBED OUT AND I HAD THE HOOK IN MY HOT LITTLE HAND. THE ROPE WAS DANGLING DOWN, SO I THOUGHT, ‘OH SHIT! ITS 260S DAY TO BE THE HERO, HELLA.’”

“BUT AS I LOOKED DOWN ON THESE GUYS, I REMEMBER SEEING THE PURE PRIMAL FEAR IN THEIR EYES. SOME OF THEM WERE ALREADY INCINERATED AND THE FIRE WAS GETTING FUCKING HUGE. I REMEMBER ONE OF THEM SCREAMING, BEGGING ME TO ‘PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING, PLEASE, PLEASE 260 PLEASE THROW THE ROPE, PLEASE!’”

“I THREW THE ROPE.”

“AND THE HOOK TOO.”

“I WATCHED AS OVER 30-ISH, MAYBE 50, TROLLS GET BURNED TO A CRISP. I REMEMBER JUST WATCHING THEM AS THEIR SCREAMS MADE THEIR THROATS BLEED UNTIL THE FIRE CONSUMED THEM AND THEY ALL WENT ABRUPTLY SILENT.”

“AND YOU KNOW WHAT?”

“DIDNT FEEL A DAMN THING.”

“I CAN STILL HEAR THEIR SCREAMS EVERY TIME I GO TO SLEEP.”

“IT MAKES FOR A NICE LULLABY.”

[headingplaces]

Saccharine [M]

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst, smut, a hint of fluff

word count: 4.1k

Your first love gave to you: a heartbreak.

It doesn’t make sense. But now that you’ve realized, it never did. Nothing that spiraled inside the orbit called Min Yoongi ever made sense. You tried to dig deeper into the part of your brain that supplies common sense, and was met with emptiness – nothing. He was in love with music, you were in love with the scent of a newly purchased novel. He was always indulging his time with the things he love, you were busy picking which papaya is ripe enough for you to devour the following day. There was no union in the sets of Venn diagram called Yoongi & Y/N.  The two of you wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for the accidental mix up of letters in your apartment’s mailbox. It really was strange, but fate has a funny way of interlacing your life with someone else, didn’t it?

Min Yoongi. The name itself delivered a dull kick that resounds in the back of your mind. It was torturous, really, his whole existence was. But you’ve began to appreciate him for his quite grumbles, mindless complains and fancy choice of words.

You stumbled outside your friend’s car and shot a quick “thanks for the ride!” before trudging along the apartment’s entrance and into the warm lobby. The rain ceased its song of sorrow a few hours ago, but the harsh wind still serenade this part of the city with its fast-tempo melody. You welcomed the heat briefly and walked straight to the reception area.

“Anything for 93?” you asked eagerly, knowing well that there was a small package waiting for you to lay your hands on, from your sister. She was older than you by two years, began her search for love at the young age of seventeen and fell in love with her best friend that has been there all along since high school. Hopeless romantics. The type of people that you struggled to avoid because once they figured out your monotonous love department, they would start to see you as experiment x and would try to reassure you, “Maybe your love is in a deep slumber or something. Just wait.”

In all honesty, you appreciate their comforting words but you were starting to grow weary of them putting love on a pedestal. Maybe it was because you haven’t found it yet. Yet.

“Just a package and a letter.” Joe murmured grudgingly and handed the things to its rightful recipient. You immediately snatched them from Joe’s hands, “Thanks!” you shouted gleefully before making your way to the elevator. Your impatience took the best of you and you halted to as stop to examine the letters. You skimmed the envelope of the first letter and squinted at the last two digits of the apartment’s address: 0193. You turned around and through to the reception area at the same time as a young boy roughly your age.

“I think you gave me the wrong letter, Joe.” You said at the same time as the boy in black shirt.

He cocked his head to the side and gestured for you to see the letter he mistakenly received. 0139. You took the opportunity to take a good look at him. His complexion was the first thing that you noticed, his skin was milky white and his slender legs was covered in a tight ripped jeans. His messy black hair was kept in a grey beanie, and the veins in his arms were visible in the low light of the lobby.

“Oh I must have mixed it up. Sorry.” Joe said behind the table, snapping you out of your reverie, and you had to blink a few times before your eyes could focus back to Joe. You motioned for him to hand you over your letter while you offered his.

“Thanks,” you mumbled softly at him and saunters back into the elevator. You were in desperate need of a shower and food, lost in your own thoughts on the list of possible restaurants still opened at this hour, to notice he was in the elevator with you until he pressed the number 3 and 9.

“You’re going to the ninth floor right?” he asked. Now that you were free from the noises in the lobby, you could hear his low voice that was surprisingly deeper than you thought you heard.

“Yes, thank you uh, what’s your name?“

“Yoongi.”

You weren’t good with conversation and let it end as it was. Rolling his name on your lips and staying quiet until the elevator slows to a stop at your floor.

“Well it was nice to meet you, Yoongi.” You said before stepping out and offering him a smile. He nod in response before the doors closed. And you thought that was the end of it.

The loud ring coming from the small alarm on the table beside you brought you back to life. You opened your eyes and indulged in the comfort your warm blanket offered you. You stretched your hand, and felt Yoongi beginning to stir from his sleep next to you.

His phone vibrated on the table next to his side of the bed, and you strained your eyes to make out the caller ID.

It was the girlfriend.

Over the past few weeks after the incident, you managed to bump into him, whether it was by the lobby, the mini mart down the street and even in the elevator. He was the first to break, asking for your number. The casual texts turned into flirty banters, which leads to getting under the covers with him. You asked him on one occasion, whether he was fine with all of this and he shut your mouth with a kiss before murmuring, “Less talking more fucking, yeah?”

You knew he was not available, and somewhere along the line, both of you agreed to a mutual conclusion that this was a secret. This whole thing was, and for a while you’d like to believe that you were okay. This was okay, and you promised yourself you wouldn’t let him complete you the way you envision him too.

He was rough the other night. His thrusts hard and fast, not keeping a tempo. He wanted to occupy every fissures and all the curves of your body. Touching you in places that you’d never thought was pleasurable. Kissing your neck and taking your breasts into his mouth, swirling your nipple with his tongue before teasingly biting down. His skillful hands making their way into your sensitive bud while he pumps in and out of you easily, his length covered in your juices, making you forget about everything else except for his name.  

You were his muse, his source of pleasure, and his momentary comfort. But you were a secret. His secret. He loved his girlfriend, and their relationship was on their third year together. She was soft, and patient, and loving – she was like water flowing down the river in the early morning, moistening the big stones from over drying because of the fierce sun, while you were earth. Motherly, hard to please, constant and tainted. He loved her, and she loved him, but she could not pleasure him like you did. In terms of sex, she was vanilla and you were a kinky, thirsty girl. Albeit Yoongi was a reserved and calm person, he was filled with desire as well and she was not there to help him find his release. You were.

“Wake up sleepyhead, I gotta go to class,” you poked his sensitive side a few times before he grabbed your wrist to stop you, drawing small circles after you halt.

“I’ve been awake since an hour ago. You’re just too much of a cow to notice.” His raspy voice tickling your right ear. He pulled you closer to him and squeezed you tight, as if showing you how much he loved you, but you knew better. He was just an affectionate friend.

“She’s calling you,”

“I know,”

“You can answer the phone if you want, I’ll shut up,”

He made no move to reach his phone and you suppressed the urge to smack yourself with a lamp post. How could he answer the phone when you, the other woman, was there in his arms? You willed yourself out of his warmth and sauntered into the bathroom. You sighed heavily before locking the door shut behind you as tears rolled freely down your cheeks. You turned on the shower loud enough to drawn out the cries that escaped your lips, as you scrubbed yourself clean. Clean of him.

You stepped out of the bathroom in your jeans and t-shirt, checking the time in your phone. You’re off to a great start, having an extra 40 minutes in your hands.

Yoongi was still there on your bed, fully clothed this time, and furiously writing on his notebook. His bed hair spiked in all directions, and you had to control yourself from running your fingers through his hair. It was always like this after sex, a moment where everything felt right and you two were wrapped in your own cocoon of safety. Your favorite time of the day, until you drifted to sleep and wake up the next day with your alarm ringing and his phone vibrating. Same old, same old.

“What are you writing?” you walked over to your side of the bed and plopped down next to him. He glanced at you for a second before continuing to stare down at his notebook. Eyebrows scrunched, his teethe capturing a fraction of his bottom lip, and his concentration was evident on his face. Cute. You tilted your head to peek into the paper but he flicked your nose, “No peeking. Give me five seconds,” You laughed at his child-like behavior before glancing at the time. Still 37 minutes left.

You played with your phone instead, scrolling through Instagram and checking your unread messages when Yoongi casually ripped a page from his notebook and dangling it in front of your face. You took the paper from his hands and stared at its content. He didn’t utter single word, using his time to observe your reaction instead.

My soul calls for you

underneath the bed sheets

A voice in the realms

echoing alone, waiting

We walk different toads

but look up to the same stars

And I fell for you

Even if we’re meant to part

 You loved him. God you loved him. He was not the type to write long texts or even poetry, but he tried for you. You recited his piece in your head, over and over again even when you’ve reached the final word. Every word was a prayer you keep in your heart. He watched your face lit up like fairy lights circling the Christmas tree in the cold nights of December. And he watched you fall apart when you realized that yes, you were his muse, but you were never the final receiver of his masterpiece. You imagined the blood rushing to her cheeks, painting it a rosy hue, as she read the lines over and over again, while Yoongi and you were something she can’t see. You forced the familiar sting in your eyes to subside until you’ve composed your expression to a neutral state before offering him a piece of your mind.

“Yoongi this is beautiful,” you managed to croak out leaving any traces of sadness or disappointment that might be laced with your voice.

“Really? I was afraid you’d think it turned out shitty,” He couldn’t stop the grin threatening visualize on his face. You loved that part of him, too. The part where he was insecure and thought he wasn’t good enough when in reality, he was perfect.

“It’s good Yoongi but listen my ride’s here I have a class to catch up to,” you patted your jeans and reached for your bag. If you’d stayed in his company a little while longer, that little heart of yours would break even further.

“You do you, Y/N.”

You walked out of the room before he could mutter anything else. You hoped he hasn’t lost your apartment’s extra key yet, or else he’d be locked inside until you came home.

The cold auditorium bites through your skin and made your bones shivered. You couldn’t focus on anything the lecturer was saying, and your only friend ditched out on class last minute. You were alone, and naturally your thoughts began to wander to Yoongi. You realized that he was an incurable disease inside you, filling your waking thoughts until you willed yourself to snap out of it.

Once the lecture finished, you quickly stepped out of campus and signaled a cab. You were tired, and you just wanted to go home. Not to Yoongi, but to the comfort of your bed. You jolted awake when te car screeches to a halt, realizing you must’ve fallen asleep along the way. You handed the driver a few dollar bills before opening the door.

You were so used to this routine that you automatically punched in the ninth floor, knowing Yoongi like the back of your hand, he would be buried in his work with an empty stomach. You wouldn’t be surprised if he was fast asleep on his desk or lazily typing on his laptop somewhere in his apartment, but you weren’t prepared for this.

You stepped out of the elevator fully prepared to surprise Yoongi into waking up. You stride down the hall and used the extra key that he gave you to let yourself in, and what a sight it was. He was adding his finishing touch, packing everything that could be packed in his two large suitcases. He froze as he was caught red-handed by you, a shocked expression in your face, not understanding what was happening.

“Yoongi,” you started and he walked over to you. Each second that passed by felt like an eternity. He snaked both his arms around your body and rested his head on your shoulder.

“I need to go home,” he muffled through your shirt. Home. If he was going home, then he wasn’t coming back. “She needs me,” Yoongi continued as if reading your mind to the questions popping up one by one in your brain, “She’s going through a rough patch and she needs me.”

I need you. You thought to yourself as a strangled sob escaped you. Yoongi held you in his arms, drawing figures with his thumb into your skin that you wished would be embedded for an eternity. Your hands that were limp by your sides returned his embrace and you pressed yourself against him tighter, like you were trying to remember every inch of him.

You breathed him in and you felt needles prickling your heart. You were never going to smell this cologne the same way anymore. You planted small kisses on his neck and pulled back just enough to hold his face on your hands to kiss him. You wanted him to remember your touch, and the way his name rolled out of your lips, you wanted him to remember you.

He returned your kiss feverishly and gently nudged your mouth with his tongue, asking for entrance. Your tongues wrestle for dominance as Yoongi deepened the kiss, holding the back of your head with his hand. His skillful tongue explored your mouth, a threat to your already weak knees that could give out any second. He brought you against the door and continued to connect his lips to yours hashly. You could feel his hands sliding down into your bottom, his fingers poking your ass to lift your hips. The sensation of his bulge rubbing your covered core earned a grunt from him. He rocked slowly against you and grabbed your hair to tilt your head back.

“Yoongi please,” you breathed out, your body still rocking back and forth against him. He listened to your request loud and clear, and carried you across the room onto his bed. Your back bounced on the bed and a second later his lips were on your neck as he fumbled with the button of your jeans. You lifted your hips to help him slide the jeans down your legs and you paused to pull his shirt over his head before his lips collided with yours again.

His pants were next to disappear and he shot you a displeased look at the abundance of clothing clinging to your body. You lifted your shirt off and was left with only your bra and panties. His dick sprung out as he pulled down his boxers, red, angry and sinful. You opened your bra and slide down your panties teasingly, putting on a little show for him. He watched over your every move like a fox and stroke his dick in his hand.

You were on all fours now, ready to taste him in your mouth. “Hold on a second,” Yoongi set himself so his head was laying on the pillows. “Sit on my face while you suck my cock.” He demanded, and you’ve never felt so aroused by his request that you happily obliged. You crawled over him and he instantly spanks your ass before flattening his tongue on your pussy.

“Fuck,” you moaned out as he starts to draw circles on your clit with his tongue. You squeezed his dick on your hand and pumps it a few time before taking the tip of his dick into your mouth. You eased your throat around his length and swirls your tongue around him before letting his dick go with a pop. His tongue teased up and down your slit, and you moaned at the same time he thrusts into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat.

“Get up,” Yoongi growled and spanked both of your ass cheeks, your wetness was dripping by now. You rolled over to the side and his hands gripped your waist to position you where he wanted you to be. Your head was on the pillow and you knew he wanted to do it his style tonight.

“Look at me,” he whispered, his arms on either side of you as he entered your folds, his dick caressing every inch of your skin you couldn’t touch with your fingertips. He pulled out of you slowly before thrusting his dick all the way in. You arch your back in response as the both of you moan at the sensation. He kept up with his slow pace long enough for you to roll your hips into him, craving for more friction.

“Yoongi please yoongi,” you moaned when two of his fingers started to play with your clit, his thrusts stopping completely as he admired your body writhing underneath him. He draws fast circles on your pussy, the tip of his dick just barely in your dripping pussy.

“I swear to God, Yoongi please,” you tried to grind onto his palm but he held your hips with his free arm, caging you down.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific babe,” he leaned to you to kiss your mouth, overflowing with moans and curses of his name. You kissed him back with the same intensity, your lust taking over you and you reached down to grab his dick.

“Fuck me,” you begged in between heated kisses. “Yoongi for the love of God fuck me.”

He bit down your bottom lip and slapped your pussy lightly, getting you more aroused when you can hear how wet you were. “Gladly babe,” he breathed out, kissing you tenderly when he rammed his length into you, pulling out lightly only to push back inside you with much more force. His open mouthed kisses captured your moans, his front grinding against you, and you could have combusted right there by the close contact.

He groaned as his dick slipped in and out of you in hard, short pumps, his hips twisting at every thrusts now and then. His dark eyes were hazed with lust and his mouth, God his mouth, was shaped In an O as droplets of sweat was embedded on his forehead, his black hair sticking to his face and your name was a mantra he chanted over and over again with each thrust.

“I-I’m gonna come I- fuck I’m coming” you choked before your orgasm washed over you and Yoongi managed a few more thrust before his wave of pleasure brought him down to you, and you held on to him, all your limbs, onto his empty promises and bones, while he, let go.

You were standing in the middle of the lobby, your fingers interlaced with his and your other hand gripping tightly to the box of tissue you grabbed from his apartment. Strangely, you didn’t feel like crying. Everything felt like a gut-wrenching blow to your mind, but it dulled with every kick until everything felt hollow – and the resonating ache was bound to disappear to, someday.

He glanced up from his phone to look at you when you were silent for too long, only to divert his attention to his phone again, typing furiously, to her you assumed. You nudged his arm as a cab slowed down in front of the lobby, dropping someone off.

“Yoongi, take that cab. Hurry,” you let go of your hands that was entwined with his and signaled him to move faster. He had been delaying every minute he could, letting the yellow cars passed by the glass door of the apartment lobby, muttering “there’s still time” or “there are people who need it more than I do” but the clock is ticking and he had to catch his ride now or there would be a great chance of him missing his flight, and you were not up for that. Not when you had braced yourself the moment you opened your eyes and showered this morning. You promised yourself that you would let him go before he could take away any more part of you.

You wanted to laugh at yourself for falling in love when it wasn’t on the menu. Now you had fallen in love with someone whom was not ready to catch you if you fall. And now you were left alone to pick up the pieces and hope it would regenerate. You hoped that this would only be a lesson, a lesson to remember for a long, long time and it wouldn’t repeat itself, because you were scared. Scared that if he was to come back in any way possible, you’d still welcome him with open arms.

“So I guess this is goodbye,” You offered him a small smile and a nudge to his hand.

He lifted his arms, offering you a hug which you accept very willingly. You were a little afraid, and maybe he could sense that. And he returned your grip with an equally tender one. You were afraid of venturing to uncharted territory, discovering new things and meeting someone new. What you had with him, was a sweet saccharine on your lips to guide you to your momentary sugar rush, and Yoongi was there to help you ride it out until you came back down, safe and sound in his arms, even if you were not the only one in his embrace. But he had to go, and you do too.

“I’ll miss you,” was the only words he uttered to you in that moment, and you kept it deep within your heart that even if all of it was a short mistake, he would genuinely miss your company. His eyes held an emotion you’ve never seen on him before: longing. You lifted your hands up to cup his cheeks and brought your lips to his. Slowly, you thought, let me bask in his warmth one last time.

You felt your phone vibrating in your front pocket, signaling your next lecture starting in an hour. You had to grab your laptop from your apartment and then dash to campus. You were the first to break away from the kiss and you felt that kick again, in your heart this time as you patted his arms and sent him away with a wave and a tight smile.

There was no denying that you felt like this wasn’t supposed to be the end. There should be something at the end of the road that could mend the both of you together, in ways you never knew was possible, to make it work. To make this work. Maybe, if he could leave his girl but of course he couldn’t because she was his comfort and you were his temporary. Alas, even the time keeper had difficulties in controlling the flow of time. And as the clock strikes 4, you separate yourself from him. Because nothing stays the same forever.

[airoasis]

My philosophy for a happy life | Sam Berns | TEDxMidAtlantic

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/my-philosophy-for-a-happy-life-sam-berns-tedxmidatlantic-8/

My philosophy for a happy life | Sam Berns | TEDxMidAtlantic

Translator: Bob Prottas Reviewer: Ariana Bleau Lugo hey every body. I am Sam, and i just grew to become 17. A number of years ago, earlier than my freshman yr in excessive school, I desired to play snare drum within the Foxboro high institution Marching Band, and it was once a dream that I simply had to achieve. However each and every snare drum and harness weighed about 40 kilos each and every, and i’ve a ailment known as Progeria. So simply to give you an suggestion, I weigh handiest about 50 pounds. So, logistically, I fairly could not raise a average sized snare drum, and due to the fact that of this the band director assigned me to play pit percussion during the halftime show.Now pit percussion used to be enjoyable. It concerned some rather cool auxiliary percussion devices, just like the bongos, timpani, and timbales, and cowbell. So it was fun, but it surely concerned no marching, and that i was once just so devastated. Nonetheless, nothing was going to discontinue me from taking part in snare drum with the marching band within the halftime show. So my family and i worked with an engineer to design a snare drum harness that will be lighter, and simpler for me to hold. So after continuous work, we made a snare drum equipment that weighs simplest about 6 kilos. (Applause) I just want to provide you with some extra know-how about Progeria. It impacts most effective about 350 kids in these days, international. So it is lovely infrequent, and the effects of Progeria comprise: tight epidermis, lack of weight acquire, stunted growth, and heart ailment. Last yr my mother and her staff of scientists published the first victorious Progeria healing study, and on the grounds that of this I was interviewed on NPR, and John Hamilton asked me the query: "what’s the predominant thing that people must find out about you?" And my reply used to be quite simply that i have an awfully completely happy life.(Applause) So even though there are numerous limitations in my existence, with plenty of them being created by using Progeria, I do not need men and women to feel unhealthy for me. I don’t consider about these limitations all the time, and i’m able to beat most of them anyway. So Im right here in these days, to share with you my philosophy for a completely happy existence. So, for me, there are three facets to this philosophy. So this is a quote from the noted Ferris Bueller. The primary side to my philosophy is that Im k with what I finally cant do when you consider that there’s so much i can do. Now individuals frequently question me questions like, "Isnt it rough residing with Progeria?" or "What everyday challenges of Progeria do you face?" And identification like to claim that, although i’ve Progeria, most of my time is spent fascinated by matters that don’t have anything to do with Progeria in any respect. Now this doesnt imply that I ignore the terrible facets of those limitations.After I cant do something like run a long distance, or go on an severe roller coaster, i know what Im lacking out on. But alternatively, I decide on to focus on the hobbies that i can do by way of matters that Im passionate about, like scouting, or song, or comedian books, or any of my favorite Boston physical activities groups. Yeah, so — (Laughter) nevertheless, usually I need to in finding an additional solution to do some thing by using making adjustments, and that i wish to put these matters within the "can do" class. Form of like you noticed with the drum prior. So heres a clip with me taking part in Spider-Man with the Foxboro high school Marching Band at halftime a few years in the past. (Video) Spider-Man theme track (Applause) thank you. All proper, all correct, so — That was once lovely cool, and so I was able to accomplish my dream of playing snare drum with the marching band, as I believe i can do for all of my goals.So with a bit of luck, that you would be able to accomplish your desires as good, with this outlook. The next side to my philosophy is that I surround myself with humans I want to be with, individuals of high fine. Im extremely lucky to have an strong family, who’ve normally supported me for the duration of my entire life. And Im also relatively lucky to have a particularly shut team of acquaintances at school. Now had been sort of goofy, a number of us are band geeks, but we quite experience every others organization, and we support each other out once we have got to. We see each different for who we are on the within.So that is us goofing off a little bit. So were juniors in excessive school now, and we will now mentor more youthful band participants, as a single collective unit. What i love about being in a bunch like the band, is that the music that we make together, is right, is actual, and it supersedes Progeria. So I dont have got to worry about that when Im feeling so excellent about making song.But even having made a documentary, going on tv a few occasions, I consider like Im at my easiest point when Im with the folks that encompass me day-to-day. They provide the real positive influences in my existence, as i am hoping i will furnish a optimistic have an impact on in theirs as good. (Applause) thanks. So the bottom line here, is that i’m hoping you respect and love your loved ones, love your pals, for you guys, love you Bros and renowned your mentors, and your neighborhood, considering they are an extraordinarily actual part of every day existence, they can make a real large, confident influence. The 0.33 facet to the philosophy is, preserve moving ahead. Heres a quote by means of a person you can also comprehend, named Walt Disney, and its considered one of my favourite quotes. I at all times attempt to have something to look ahead to. Anything to attempt for to make my lifestyles richer. It doesnt ought to be significant. It might be anything from looking ahead to the following comic publication to return out, or occurring a large family trip, or striking out with my neighbors, to going to the subsequent high college soccer recreation.Nevertheless, all of these things preserve me centered, and comprehend that theres a vibrant future forward, and could get me by means of some complex occasions that I is also having. Now this mentality includes staying in a ahead pondering state of mind. I are attempting hard to not waste vigour feeling badly for myself, considering the fact that after I do, I get stuck in a paradox, the place theres no room for any happiness or every other emotion.Now, its no longer that I ignore when Im feeling badly, I type of receive it, I let it in, so that i can well known it, and do what I have got to do to maneuver previous it. Once I was more youthful, I wanted to be an engineer. I wanted to be an inventor, who would catapult the sector into a greater future. Might be this got here from my love of Legos, and the freedom of expression that I felt once I was constructing with them. And this used to be additionally derived from my family and my mentors, who always make me feel whole, and good about myself. Now at present my ambitions have converted slightly bit, id like to go into the subject of Biology, maybe cellphone biology, or genetics, or biochemistry, or rather some thing.This can be a buddy of mine, who I seem up to, Francis Collins, the director of the NIH, and this is us at TEDMED last year, chatting away. I believe that no matter what I decide upon to turn out to be, I feel that i can change the sector. And as Im striving to vary the arena, I can be blissful. About four years ago, HBO began to film a documentary about my household and me known as life in line with Sam. That used to be a sexy nice expertise, nevertheless it was also 4 years in the past. And like any one, my views on many things have modified, and optimistically matured, like my skills career choice.However, some matters have stayed the equal for the duration of that point. Like my mentality, and philosophy closer to existence. So I wish to exhibit you a clip of my younger self from the film, that I feel embodies that philosophy. (Video) i know extra about it genetically. So its much less of an embodiment now. It used to be like this factor that prevents me from doing all this stuff, that reasons different kids to die, that reasons everybody to be stressed, and now its a protein that is abnormal, that weakens the constitution of cells. So, and it takes a burden off of me considering now I dont must believe about Progeria as an entity. K, beautiful just right, huh? (Applause) thanks.So, as you will see that Ive been pondering this fashion for many years. However identity on no account really needed to apply all of those points of my philosophy to the scan at one time, except final January. I was once pretty unwell, I had a chest bloodless, and that i used to be in the medical institution for a few days, and that i was once secluded from all of the features of my existence that I felt made me, me, that type of gave me my identification. But realizing that I was going to get higher, and watching ahead to a time that i might consider just right once more, helped me to hold moving ahead. And many times I needed to be courageous, and it wasnt perpetually convenient. Sometimes I faltered, I had unhealthy days, but i noticed that being brave isnt imagined to be convenient. And for me, I think its the important thing option to keep relocating forward. So, all in all, I dont waste power feeling dangerous for myself. I encompass myself with people that I want to be with, and that i hold moving ahead. So with this philosophy, i hope that each one of you, despite your barriers, can have an extraordinarily completely satisfied life as well.Oh, wait, dangle on a 2d, one other piece of advice – (Laughter) on no account omit a occasion if that you can aid it. My schools homecoming dance is the next day night time, and that i will be there. Thank you very much. (Applause) .

[batterymonster2021]

My philosophy for a happy life | Sam Berns | TEDxMidAtlantic

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/my-philosophy-for-a-happy-life-sam-berns-tedxmidatlantic-8/

My philosophy for a happy life | Sam Berns | TEDxMidAtlantic

Translator: Bob Prottas Reviewer: Ariana Bleau Lugo hey every body. I am Sam, and i just grew to become 17. A number of years ago, earlier than my freshman yr in excessive school, I desired to play snare drum within the Foxboro high institution Marching Band, and it was once a dream that I simply had to achieve. However each and every snare drum and harness weighed about 40 kilos each and every, and i’ve a ailment known as Progeria. So simply to give you an suggestion, I weigh handiest about 50 pounds. So, logistically, I fairly could not raise a average sized snare drum, and due to the fact that of this the band director assigned me to play pit percussion during the halftime show.Now pit percussion used to be enjoyable. It concerned some rather cool auxiliary percussion devices, just like the bongos, timpani, and timbales, and cowbell. So it was fun, but it surely concerned no marching, and that i was once just so devastated. Nonetheless, nothing was going to discontinue me from taking part in snare drum with the marching band within the halftime show. So my family and i worked with an engineer to design a snare drum harness that will be lighter, and simpler for me to hold. So after continuous work, we made a snare drum equipment that weighs simplest about 6 kilos. (Applause) I just want to provide you with some extra know-how about Progeria. It impacts most effective about 350 kids in these days, international. So it is lovely infrequent, and the effects of Progeria comprise: tight epidermis, lack of weight acquire, stunted growth, and heart ailment. Last yr my mother and her staff of scientists published the first victorious Progeria healing study, and on the grounds that of this I was interviewed on NPR, and John Hamilton asked me the query: "what’s the predominant thing that people must find out about you?" And my reply used to be quite simply that i have an awfully completely happy life.(Applause) So even though there are numerous limitations in my existence, with plenty of them being created by using Progeria, I do not need men and women to feel unhealthy for me. I don’t consider about these limitations all the time, and i’m able to beat most of them anyway. So Im right here in these days, to share with you my philosophy for a completely happy existence. So, for me, there are three facets to this philosophy. So this is a quote from the noted Ferris Bueller. The primary side to my philosophy is that Im k with what I finally cant do when you consider that there’s so much i can do. Now individuals frequently question me questions like, "Isnt it rough residing with Progeria?" or "What everyday challenges of Progeria do you face?" And identification like to claim that, although i’ve Progeria, most of my time is spent fascinated by matters that don’t have anything to do with Progeria in any respect. Now this doesnt imply that I ignore the terrible facets of those limitations.After I cant do something like run a long distance, or go on an severe roller coaster, i know what Im lacking out on. But alternatively, I decide on to focus on the hobbies that i can do by way of matters that Im passionate about, like scouting, or song, or comedian books, or any of my favorite Boston physical activities groups. Yeah, so — (Laughter) nevertheless, usually I need to in finding an additional solution to do some thing by using making adjustments, and that i wish to put these matters within the "can do" class. Form of like you noticed with the drum prior. So heres a clip with me taking part in Spider-Man with the Foxboro high school Marching Band at halftime a few years in the past. (Video) Spider-Man theme track (Applause) thank you. All proper, all correct, so — That was once lovely cool, and so I was able to accomplish my dream of playing snare drum with the marching band, as I believe i can do for all of my goals.So with a bit of luck, that you would be able to accomplish your desires as good, with this outlook. The next side to my philosophy is that I surround myself with humans I want to be with, individuals of high fine. Im extremely lucky to have an strong family, who’ve normally supported me for the duration of my entire life. And Im also relatively lucky to have a particularly shut team of acquaintances at school. Now had been sort of goofy, a number of us are band geeks, but we quite experience every others organization, and we support each other out once we have got to. We see each different for who we are on the within.So that is us goofing off a little bit. So were juniors in excessive school now, and we will now mentor more youthful band participants, as a single collective unit. What i love about being in a bunch like the band, is that the music that we make together, is right, is actual, and it supersedes Progeria. So I dont have got to worry about that when Im feeling so excellent about making song.But even having made a documentary, going on tv a few occasions, I consider like Im at my easiest point when Im with the folks that encompass me day-to-day. They provide the real positive influences in my existence, as i am hoping i will furnish a optimistic have an impact on in theirs as good. (Applause) thanks. So the bottom line here, is that i’m hoping you respect and love your loved ones, love your pals, for you guys, love you Bros and renowned your mentors, and your neighborhood, considering they are an extraordinarily actual part of every day existence, they can make a real large, confident influence. The 0.33 facet to the philosophy is, preserve moving ahead. Heres a quote by means of a person you can also comprehend, named Walt Disney, and its considered one of my favourite quotes. I at all times attempt to have something to look ahead to. Anything to attempt for to make my lifestyles richer. It doesnt ought to be significant. It might be anything from looking ahead to the following comic publication to return out, or occurring a large family trip, or striking out with my neighbors, to going to the subsequent high college soccer recreation.Nevertheless, all of these things preserve me centered, and comprehend that theres a vibrant future forward, and could get me by means of some complex occasions that I is also having. Now this mentality includes staying in a ahead pondering state of mind. I are attempting hard to not waste vigour feeling badly for myself, considering the fact that after I do, I get stuck in a paradox, the place theres no room for any happiness or every other emotion.Now, its no longer that I ignore when Im feeling badly, I type of receive it, I let it in, so that i can well known it, and do what I have got to do to maneuver previous it. Once I was more youthful, I wanted to be an engineer. I wanted to be an inventor, who would catapult the sector into a greater future. Might be this got here from my love of Legos, and the freedom of expression that I felt once I was constructing with them. And this used to be additionally derived from my family and my mentors, who always make me feel whole, and good about myself. Now at present my ambitions have converted slightly bit, id like to go into the subject of Biology, maybe cellphone biology, or genetics, or biochemistry, or rather some thing.This can be a buddy of mine, who I seem up to, Francis Collins, the director of the NIH, and this is us at TEDMED last year, chatting away. I believe that no matter what I decide upon to turn out to be, I feel that i can change the sector. And as Im striving to vary the arena, I can be blissful. About four years ago, HBO began to film a documentary about my household and me known as life in line with Sam. That used to be a sexy nice expertise, nevertheless it was also 4 years in the past. And like any one, my views on many things have modified, and optimistically matured, like my skills career choice.However, some matters have stayed the equal for the duration of that point. Like my mentality, and philosophy closer to existence. So I wish to exhibit you a clip of my younger self from the film, that I feel embodies that philosophy. (Video) i know extra about it genetically. So its much less of an embodiment now. It used to be like this factor that prevents me from doing all this stuff, that reasons different kids to die, that reasons everybody to be stressed, and now its a protein that is abnormal, that weakens the constitution of cells. So, and it takes a burden off of me considering now I dont must believe about Progeria as an entity. K, beautiful just right, huh? (Applause) thanks.So, as you will see that Ive been pondering this fashion for many years. However identity on no account really needed to apply all of those points of my philosophy to the scan at one time, except final January. I was once pretty unwell, I had a chest bloodless, and that i used to be in the medical institution for a few days, and that i was once secluded from all of the features of my existence that I felt made me, me, that type of gave me my identification. But realizing that I was going to get higher, and watching ahead to a time that i might consider just right once more, helped me to hold moving ahead. And many times I needed to be courageous, and it wasnt perpetually convenient. Sometimes I faltered, I had unhealthy days, but i noticed that being brave isnt imagined to be convenient. And for me, I think its the important thing option to keep relocating forward. So, all in all, I dont waste power feeling dangerous for myself. I encompass myself with people that I want to be with, and that i hold moving ahead. So with this philosophy, i hope that each one of you, despite your barriers, can have an extraordinarily completely satisfied life as well.Oh, wait, dangle on a 2d, one other piece of advice – (Laughter) on no account omit a occasion if that you can aid it. My schools homecoming dance is the next day night time, and that i will be there. Thank you very much. (Applause) .