#feels bad. lately every time i do a little too much of anything (which isnt much) i feel miserable and weak and bad at breathing for daaaays

[databent]

my mystery illness hurting me -_-

[bibibahngg]

【ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｉ　ｄｉｄｎ'ｔ　ｓａｙ.】

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚pairing: kim seungmin x reader ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖summary: overwhelmed by unrequited love and loneliness, you find an unexpected comfort in kim seungmin, who shows you what love really feels like. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚warnings/genre: angst, hurt/comfort, slow burn(???), mentions of some sensitive topics (family struggles, loneliness, etc.), but it ends with happy ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖notes: this is my first requested fic :)) i hope this fits what you were looking for @yaniluvs!!! english isnt my first language so, there might be some grammar issues or something like that, but enjoy!

falling for your best friend was probably the worst thing you'd ever done to yourself. it hurt, and in the slow, aching kind of way that crept into your chest late at night and refused to leave. after years of sharing secrets, laughing over inside jokes, and being the person they always turned to, your heart had decided to betray you.

and now? now, it was hell.

you didn't mean to get jealous when they talked about their crushes. you really didn't. but every time they lit up talking about someone else, that ugly, clawing feeling curled around your chest, squeezing it tight. you hated it. hated the way it made you feel like a bad friend. hated the way you kept waiting for them to notice the way you looked at them, even though you knew they wouldn't. hated the way you loved them, because no matter how much you tried to convince yourself it was just a phase, it wasn't.

worst of all, you hated how much it made you realize how starved you were for love.

you tried not to think about it too much, but it was always there, sitting in the back of your mind like an unwelcome guest. growing up, love had never been something you could count on. not from your family, at least. your mom had tried her best, sure, but she couldn't carry the weight of everything alone. and when your best friend came along, it felt like you'd finally found what you'd been missing. someone who chose you.

but now that you wanted more, it was unbearable.

you knew it wasn't fair to feel this way, and you hated how frustrated and tired it made you. but you couldn't just shut it off.

so, naturally, the universe decided it was the perfect time to partner you with kim seungmin for that science project. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

working with seungmin wasn't exactly awful. it wasn't like he was mean or anything. just… the kind of person who didn't waste time on unnecessary words or gestures. he wasn't rude, but he wasn't friendly either, which made things feel a little tense between the two of you.

you weren't sure what you'd done to deserve being partnered with the human embodiment of a blank excel spreadsheet, but here you were, staring at seungmin's perfectly organized notes while he quietly ignored you.

"so", you said finally, breaking the silence, "do you ever, like… have fun?"

seungmin's fingers paused over his laptop keyboard. he tilted his head slightly, like he was considering your question, before glancing up at you with a completely blank expression. "define fun."

you blinked. "uh… like hanging out with friends? doing something exciting? not spending your entire life on schoolwork?"

"i play sudoku", he said flatly, turning back to his laptop.

"oh, wow. wild of you", you deadpanned, leaning back in your chair.

his lips twitched, just barely. you couldn't tell if it was the start of a smile or if he was trying to hold in a laugh, but either way, it was the closest thing to emotion you'd seen from him all week.

"what about you?" he asked suddenly, his voice calm and measured. "what do you do for fun?"

the question caught you off guard. "uh…" you hesitated, realizing that you didn't really have an answer. what did you do for fun anymore?

seungmin’s gaze flicked toward you, and you felt strangely exposed under his scrutiny. like he could see right through you.

"you don't know, do you..?" he asked, his tone neutral but his words cutting straight to the point.

"what's that supposed to mean?" you shot back, feeling defensive.

he shrugged, turning back to his laptop. you rolled your eyes, annoyed but also unable to shake the feeling that he was right. despite his frustratingly blunt demeanor, seungmin wasn't as heartless as he seemed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you started noticing it in the little things. the way he'd quietly push a bottle of water toward you during late night study sessions, even though he never said a word about it. or the way he'd adjust the desk lamp so it wasn't shining directly in your eyes.

he never called attention to it, always brushing it off if you tried to thank him. "it's not a big deal," he’d say, his voice calm and detached. but it was a big deal to you. especially when everything else in your life felt like it was falling apart.

it kinda felt like your best friend had started pulling away lately, caught up in their own life and their own relationships. you couldn't blame them, not really, but it still stung, in a way. especially with your feelings towards them. and things at home weren't any better. the tension between you and the rest of your family seemed to be growing thicker by the day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was seungmin who noticed first.

"you seem off", he said one afternoon, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade.

you looked up from your notes, startled. "what?" "you're distracted. you've been distracted all week." you opened your mouth to deny it, but the words got stuck in your throat. he was right. you had been distracted. exhausted. frustrated. and right now, it felt impossible to hide it anymore.

"it's nothing", you mumbled, looking away.

seungmin didn't say anything for a long moment, and you thought he was going to drop it. but then, quietly, he asked, "do you want to talk about it?", his voice was soft, almost hesitant, and it caught you completely off guard.

"why do you care?", you asked, the question slipping out before you could stop it.

he didn't answer right away. when he finally spoke, his voice was calm but firm. "cause you look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and someone should care."

his words hit you like a punch to the gut, and the river of tears that you'd been holding back for so long finally broke.

it started small. just a shaky inhale and the prickle of tears stinging behind your eyes. you tried to hold it back, to swallow it all down like you always did, but this time, it refused to stay buried. the tears spilled over, uninvited, and you quickly turned your face away, swiping at your cheeks in a futile attempt to stop.

"hey," seungmin said softly. his voice was quiet, steady, not the least bit judgmental. "it's okay. don't… don't do that."

you sniffled, still refusing to meet his gaze. "don't do what?"

"don't try to hide it." his words were firm, but there was a gentleness to them that made your throat tighten even more. "just let it out."

you wanted to argue with him. wanted to say that you were fine, that he didn't need to worry about you, but the lump in your throat was too big to ignore. before you could stop yourself, the words started spilling out.

"i'm just so tired, seungmin." your voice cracked as you spoke, and the floodgates opened. "of everything. my stupid family, my stupid feelings, my stupid self."

you took a shaky breath, trying to gather yourself, but the words kept tumbling out, raw and unfiltered.

"i feel like… like i'm always the one giving. to everyone. my mom, my best friend, even random people who don't deserve it, and no one ever gives back. no one sees me like that, y'know? like i matter. and i keep telling myself that it's fine, that i shouldn't expect anything, but… but sometimes i do. i just want someone to look at me and care. really care. and it's selfish, and i hate feeling this way, but-"

"it's not selfish."

you stopped short, startled by the sudden firmness in his voice. when you finally looked up at him, your vision blurred by tears, he was leaning forward, his arms resting on the table, his gaze fixed intently on you.

"..you're allowed to want that," he continued, his tone calm but unwavering. "you're allowed to want to feel loved. to want someone to care about you the way you care about everyone else."

you opened your mouth to argue, to tell him he didn't understand, but he didn't give you the chance.

"and if no one else has told you this, then let me be the first. you deserve that," he said. his voice softened, and there was something tender in the way he said the words. "you deserve to be cared for. to be loved. you don't have to do everything on your own."

for a moment, all you could do was sit there, staring at him as fresh tears spilled down your cheeks.

"why are you being so nice to me?" you whispered, your voice barely audible.

his lips quirked, just slightly, in something that wasn't quite a smile. "maybe because i care", he said simply, his eyes never leaving yours.

something about the way he said it. so calm, so certain. it made the tightness in your chest loosen, just a little.

you didn't know how long you sat there, spilling your heart out to seungmin, but by the time you were done, the sun was already starting to dip below the horizon, casting the room in a soft, golden glow.

"feel better?", he asked, his voice quiet but sincere.

you nodded, still a little embarrassed but feeling lighter than you had in weeks.

"good.", he leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable. "now eat something. you've been running on fumes all day."

"are you always this bossy?" you shot back, but there was no bite to your words.

he shrugged, his lips twitching in the faintest hint of a smile. "only when i'm right."

and as much as you hated to admit it, he really was right. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it was a just some tuesday evening when everything finally came to ahead.

it had been a while since you started working with seungmin. at first, you thought he was just some quiet, overly serious guy who barely tolerated your presence. but over time, you realized that wasn't true at all. he was observant, reliable in ways you hadn't expected, and despite his occasional teasing, he always seemed to know when you needed someone to just be there.

somewhere along the way, your feelings for your best friend had started to fade. not all at once, but slowly. like an old wound finally healing without you noticing. you still cared about them, of course, but that painful ache, that longing for something more? it wasn't quite there anymore.

what was there, though, was the quiet warmth that crept in whenever you were around seungmin.

you were sitting on the floor of his dorm room, surrounded by textbooks and empty snack wrappers. he was scrolling through his laptop, frowning slightly at the screen, when you said it.

"i think i like you."

you hadn't planned on saying confessing. the words just slipped out, quiet but certain. and for a while, they just hung in the air between the two of you.

seungmin froze, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. slowly, he turned to look at you, his expression unreadable.

"what?" he asked finally, his voice quiet.

"i said i think i like you", you repeated, your heart pounding in your chest. "and i don't just mean as a friend. i mean… more than that."

for a long moment, he didn't say anything. you could feel your stomach twisting into knots, the silence unbearable, until finally, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"you're just realizing this now?" he asked, his tone dry but his ears bright red.

you blinked. "wait, what?"

he let out a quiet huff, almost like a laugh, and leaned back against the wall. "i've liked you for weeks. maybe longer."

your heart stumbled over itself, the weight of his words sinking in slowly, "why didn't you say anything?"

he shrugged, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "i didn't think you were ready."

you stared at him, completely floored. "you've been waiting for me to figure it out this whole time?"

"pretty much", he said simply.

"you're ridiculous", you muttered, but you couldn't help the way your lips curved into a smile.

"maybe", he admitted, his gaze softening as he looked at you. "but so are you."

he smiled back, his eyes soft and full of something you couldn't quite put into words.

and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could breathe.

it wasn't a big, dramatic confession. there were no grand gestures, no sweeping declarations of love. but as seungmin leaned forward, resting his hand lightly over yours, you realized that it didn't have to be.

sometimes, the quiet moments were the ones that meant the most. and this moment was everything.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ a/n: did this in like?? 2 days?? i think i was a little bit excited guys.. js the tiniest bit.. i fear my most used app this week is tumblr... what..??????? buttt i hope u guys enjoyed reading especially u yani!!!!11!1 ok ty bye bye! credits to @bloodibambiidoll for dividers <3

[hamsandwich4736251]

You werent sudden daylight in the dark, you’re the gentle moonlight on a summer night

I thought i crawled my way out of the dark, that i carved a home into that darkness all on my own. I had, in a sense. Then i met you. The darkness had ebbed back a bit from what i did, but when i met you it went from a flood to a kiddy pool. It wasnt sudden, that’s probably why i didnt notice it at first, but that darkness became easier. I went from completely lost, to clawing my way to a better place, to making friends with it, to letting it carry me through life until i met you, and then i started to actually live again. I didnt know how or why but being around you made me feel better. Even when i was dating a friend, even when i saw him in the morning and was happy to see him, i never felt that pure lightness i did when i was around you. And then we broke up. I got closer to you. I was falling in love without even realizing it. I fell in love with you slowly, a little more with every smile and giggle and late night conversation until suddenly i was in too deep to go back. It was like being caught in a riptide, only this time instead of being swept up into the dark i was swept into the arms of the sun. Even after i realized i loved you i didnt tell you for a couple months. I was scared to lose that warmth. I had gotten so used to the chill i didnt even realize i was cold, but then out of seemingly nowhere i was warm. It was completely unexpected but at the same time made complete sense. I didnt realize it was love for a long time, but what else could it be, it made total sense. Gods the first time i hugged you after telling you i love you really did feel like being in the arms of the sun. I used to be scared of physical contact. I still am in most ways, with most people. But with you, with you its a need, a craving so deep i dont think it’ll ever leave and i never want it too. And i dont know how it happened, but falling in love with you made that darkness change. I realized i had been trying to make it go away, but i never needed to do that. It’s still there, but it’s no longer lurking, waiting for me to slip into the undercurrent and carry me away, No. In falling in love with you i fell in love with the world, with life, with myself. It was the small things. The warmth of a hug, of the sun, the color of your eyes, then the color of my eyes, your smile, then one day i realized i didnt hate my smile like i used to. I had convinced myself that i looked horrible smiling and looked much prettier with a neutral expression. But around you i smiled so much, you smiled so much, that it made me realize my smile isnt bad at all. I still think i look prettier without a smile most times, but now i know i dont have a bad smile, and now im not afraid to smile. Which is a good thing bc whenever im around you i wanna smile. Anyway, darkness, sun, tides, all that stuff. I spent so long carving out a spot for myself in the darkness, but it wasnt until i fell in love with you, until i loved you, until you loved me, until i fell in love with pieces of myself and the world, that i realized i was wrong. I didnt need to fight the darkness, wrestle and fight the tide. No, i didnt need to do that at all. Darkness isnt something you fight. It isnt something you push away and reject, it’s something you embrace and let go of. Darkness isnt a fight, it’s a dance. The harder you fight to stay in control the more you get spun around and tripped up. Loving you and loving myself made me realize i needed to stop fighting and flow with the music. I dont need a thousand suns, i dont need a way to fix everything wrong with me, i dont need to think theres a million things wrong with me, i dont need to need anything like that. I just needed to be happy, to accept there are days the darkness is my friend, a comfort when the world gets too much, fuel for when i cant keep going. And there are days that the darkness is very much not my friend, where it is pure fear and stopping me from doing anything, where it makes me lash out and confused and hurt. And that’s ok. I dont need to be in control. I will never be in control of that.

It took falling in love to realize that.

Falling in love isnt the answer to everything, but it helped a lot more than i thought it would. I never looked for love, not like this. No, i didnt fight for this. This love grew naturally, and grew and grew and blossomed into the most beautiful thing. I will fight as hard as i need to keep this love, but i know i will never control it. I never want to control this love. This love that is wild and frantic and panic and soft touches and tender hugs and carefree smiles and safety and healing and good. This love that feels like sleeping after swimming for hours, this love that feels like following the moonlight on a trail to bed, this love that feels like smiling into dying embers on a night in spring when the world feels old and new and ancient and fresh and right. This love that feels like the home i always wanted, feels like the hugs i used to be too scared to want, feels like the world is finally peaceful without it inevitably being ripped away. I will never control this love, i will nevee fight this love, but i will always fight for this love if i need to, i will fight for you if i need to, but i no longer want to fight. I’ve spent years fighting, now i just want to be soft and spend my life with you. My life my heart my time my love it’s all yours

[angeldrawsstuffs]

okokok

so i saw you post about Izzie’s character arc/development a little but ago and

well i’ve been having a hard time wrapping my head around what hers is

so, uh, if it isnt to much trouble could i ask what some of your thoughts about her arc/development are???

Oh why I surely can!

So, as, Izzie’s development as a character has been a lot less… in your face than the others. Ironic given which character we’re talking about, but I digress. It’s not like Logan or Zoey where there’s a large, very obvious difference between who they are at the start of season 1 vs who they are at the end of season 2. Izzie does change and develop, but, what exactly develops is overshadowed by other traits that have largely stayed the same. Not to mention she hasn’t gotten some big focus arc yet so maybe we’ll see that in S3 like Cooper. Also most of the big development happens late S2 so we haven’t had a lot of time with it.

Now that I’m thinking about it, Izzie shares a lot of flaws with Logan, she’s just… nicer about it. At the start, it’s her way or the highway, and she’s just telling you what she’s about to do as a formality more than anything else. She wildly overestimates her own skills and abilities, and more often than not just says what she’s thinking with little to no verbal filter. The major difference affecting how they’re each perceived is the exact way they do/say things. Logan just sounds arrogant, with a big “I’m better than you but do not posses the merit to back that up” air, at least at the start, meanwhile Izzie comes off more “childishly immature” and thus tactless words and actions come off as… less bad.

Throughout season 1 and into season 2, we see Izzie repeatedly making impulsive decisions that put both herself and everyone else in danger. She’s told over and over again to rein it in but she keeps doing it because, again, her way or the highway. These actions have consequences, yes, but nothing long-lasting, no serious repercussions felt beyond a day or two at most. Running off from the landing to help Nova with little to no actual training or backup? Inconvenient but Zoey showed up so it was fine. Things like that. But, unfortunately, Izzie gets a dose of reality in season 2 when she drinks too much Rad Radioactive and can’t fall asleep, which, in and of itself wouldn’t be terrible…

If she didn’t jump into the rift.

Not to mention how, before that, she continued to steamroll Mateo’s boundaries and reservations about Jasmin. Now, I’m not saying Izzie didn’t care about her brother’s feelings, she absolutely did, but she wasn’t really doing much to help. But, regardless, once the rift closed and the realm was domed, it’s really the first time in the series we see Izzie facing some serious consequences for her actions, and being forced to introspect. This is where the siblings’ joint realization of how the traits they criticized in the other are exactly what they need to handle their situation, and all’s well that ends well.

But Izzie still almost actually died in Wildoria. A situation she would not have been in had she not indulged her every whim like always. Plus, again, being put in a situation where she has to confront the reality that she might not make it out alive forced her to realize how she’s been callous about Mateo’s feelings in favor of just trying to get him to feel the same way she does.

So that’s my thoughts on what the bulk of Izzie’s arc is! Of course there’s a lot more I could say (like her dynamic with Nova or her mom) but ha ha I have put off this post far too long because it was long.

Anyway, hope that was coherent enough!

[bumpin-thatbeat]

its pretty late. sorry for that my love

ive been reading my blog for hours now. crying, laughing, reliving myself. i do this every once in a while. it's to remind myself of what i did before. tumblr isnt a great source for my genuine emotions but its closer than tiktok or even instagram. i screenshotted some things, sent them to you. but what touches me the most is my vents. i dont vent very often on my main but every time i do, i like to look back. see myself feeling things and be grateful i still have it in me. in a weird way, it reminds me im alive. that my weird little heart still beats even when it needed repair. that my broken sternum is nothing but a cool story now.

i think... i'm grateful. for you. for everyone. for everything. these days, i dont believe in anything good you say about me. its weird. i wanna believe you but i feel like hugging myself and pulling away when you do. it feels... too close. too personal. too much. im uncomfortable. but thats not necessarily bad when its a good thing. i know im awful at not letting myself suffer but i think it should be okay. its the kind of uncomfortable you have to live with if you want a good life. we talked about this. it isnt a kind of uncomfortable where its triggering. i wouldnt be able to talk to you if it was. but its the kind where you just have to sit with it for a while.

i feel the need to apologize. which is silly because i can already hear you say i have nothing to apologize for. but i do. ive been lashing out at you for not being okay because im not okay. and for that im sorry. i know it wasnt my intention to say things that give you more anxiety but it still effects you. and im sorry. you are trying really hard. and you arent too much. and we love you everyday and no one is ever upset at you, even when you think we are. more than anything, we want you to believe that we love you and that even when things are hard for you, you can talk to us about it. maybe not everything. but if something troubles you, we can talk about it. i love you. we love you. we want this to work so badly but we're waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to realize that we suck. but it hasnt happened. but we're scared it will and we'll never talk again. its silly. but its true. your trauma isnt your fault. and we're sorry if we ever made it out to be that way. your triggers are valid and we love you. and always will

im going to sleep now. i have more to say but im tired and dont wanna be up too late. i love you. i miss you. text me when you wake up

to: @thepaddock

[qumiiiquinnquin]

ive started to take my antidepressant again after not doing so since one day earlier this month , a very short time earlier this year , and then since last october

i think its been 4 or 5 days now that ive taken it

in comparison to other times , i strangely dont feel really exhausted...that was a side effect that was impacting me pretty bad every other time ive taken my ssri , which made my psychiatrist bring down my dose from 5mg ((a whole pill)) to 2.5mg ((half of a pill)). i havent been cutting my pills in half ((because its honestly an annoying extra step)) and have just been taking them whole ((5mg)) and oddly ive been just fine , not super tired or anything. ive actually been fairly restless when going to sleep the last few nights , not too sure why

i havent been feeling very hungry either , which was something the med helped with when i was more consistent taking it. like usual , i forget to eat until 1 or 2pm when im finally feeling hungry , but im never in the mood for any particular thing , and everything that i could eat sounds not good to me. i eat probably once or twice in a single day , sometimes three and rarely four , only eating one meal ((dinner is enforced in this household)) ((and i did eat lunch 4 times in the last two weeks!! :] )). ive actually been feeling sick when eating anything larger than a snack portion lately... no idea what my weight is but its probably lower than it should be

my med still isnt helping my anxiety , which is not a surprise. its never helped my anxiety and only my depression. i voiced this to my psychiatrist , who only gave me a “hmm , i see” in response. speaking of my depression , i cant really tell if its helping or not...it hasn't been as bad as it was before i first started taking my med for the first time , but its still...not great ((i dont have much to say here))

maybe i need to wait a while. as it turns out , im pretty sensitive to medication , and when i first started taking my antidepressant for the first time last august , it started having an effect about 5 or 6 days in - way sooner than my psychiatrist expected , as he said most ssris usually tend to start having an effect after about two weeks , sometimes three.

i finished one bottle last night and start my second one today , there's only 30 pills in each bottle so ill need a refill as soon as i come back from my mom’s.

just things i thought id detail , since i thought the lack of anything even though ive been taking my ssri for a few days now was a little strange ((and yay i guess im finally taking the medication that'll keep me from feeling like a sinking ship - i guess))

[jaydennk]

just dumping

Ugh i havent cried in a while which is great but also i feel this constant worry and stress about whats going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and the next few years. I had this week off and every day i told myself that i will be productive and i will do the things i want to, but i never did and i feel so bad and hopeless. Its fricking saturday. I told myself “I will get myself together tomorrow” and i didnt. Theres so much i want to do and so little time. No i have plenty of time who am i fooling? I just cant being myself to do it. I have zero motivation to do anything nowadays. I am so burnt out and i dont understand why because i barely do anything. It feels so suffocating everywhere. Lately my best friend has been pissing me off too and maybe its my fault. Shes just the harsher type and i understand that thats how she grew up and thats how she shows love but its kind of bringing me down. Ever since i express my emotions and tell her that it bothers me she says ive gotten so sensitive. I told her she could try to change a bit cause change isnt always bad and she said she did (which i honestly didnt notice) and asked me if i did change as well. I shouldnt take everything so seriously and shouldnt be so sensitive i know. I dont know why im like this. And i feel like such a shitty person cause im the one who usually starts the arguments by expressing that what she said hurt me. And shes not even the bad guy i guess. Maybe we’re just arent made to be friends. But im too scared to day that. Also thats so stupid. I never had a friend who understand me like her, but also lately its just exhausting. But i also dont have anybody else and i just cant leave her alone and tell her this. Im so horrible and i hate this all. I just want to combust honestly. I want to escape my responsibilities and its so pathetic of me i know.

[cosmossystem]

Hi again! Sorry we didnt reply right away we were busy yesterday. And also overwhelmed because i dont think we’ll be able to keep up that length of message after the intro lmao. We visited our mom yesterday, we do that almost every week because we’re trying to move our stuff from our mom’s house to our new apartment. But it’s an ordeal because we just have a cart and public transit, mom cant drive either and stepdad’s car doesnt work.

We also sometimes write down things about our friends that we want to remember, but we keep forgetting and falling out of the habit of doing it. Might try to start doing that again, maybe in a new journal. We used to have really bad memory barriers before most of us merged into a subsys. The subsys might end up as one fused alter eventually, but final fusion for the whole system is NOT what we want. We’d be depressed without all our friends and our brain husband.

Idk what else to talk about, is there anything you’d like us to elaborate on in our original message? Also, how are you? How was your day yesterday and/or today? Youre staying in a dorm, so youre in college right? We tried to do college, might go back to learn ASL because it’s useful, but we can only handle one class at a time and it has to be in person. Idk why, our brain just isnt good at school. All throughout elementary, middle, and high school we were consistently a D student at best, but on tests we always scored higher than average students, so we were always described as “very smart but very lazy” because we didnt do any classwork or essays or homework and only did tests. We got into gifted and advanced classes based on test scores. Our mom always insisted there were no mental issues going on but there was probably something, we weren’t really “lazy”, we spent every moment of our time working on personal ambitions like writing stories or calculating how many dragons are in each tribe in wings of fire. We still havent figured out why we sucked at school honestly. What classes are you taking? How are you doing in them? Also feel free to not answer any questions if they make you uncomfy, im just asking for the sake of conversation, you can talk about whatever you want and just ignore all the questions too 🍄

wow i'm so sorry i left this ask in the askbox for so long!! i think i opened the inbox at some point on accident, saw this ask, and then forgot that i didn't answer it :')

don't ever feel like you have to keep up w/ long messages! honestly seeing so much info at once id a lot for me to take in so it's a lot easier to respond to shorter stuff… BUT, that shouldn't stop you from talking either! if you have a lot to say i will listen!

wow that sounds hard!! a new apartment is a big deal though!! so that's great and i'm happy for you! do you like the new place? even though moving is tough i could imagine it'd be exciting to have a brand new apartment~ i hope that's going well for yall!!

i get that tbh i'm not rly good at it either, it's really difficult to keep up a habit yknow? and actually same here about integration, we could never do full integration that would be SO stressful and upsetting i think it would just make us split again :']

we're… ok, not fantastic. finally got to the doctor and got a letter for accomodations! it's… not everything we need but it's a start i guess. i don't want to get too into it here but this has been a verrrrrrry rough week because we have one specific class that requires a group project and… the group has been sort of bullying us and the professor won't do anything about it :') so i've been incredibly drained and dealing with flare ups this week and spent most of my free time just trying to relax (read: age regress, nap, play animal crossing, and watch movies with my internal caretakers.)

yes in college! a freshman! which makes us a little late to starting but whatever. we're doing an art major so all of our classes (except for one) are art courses! kinda similar to you, we score high on the work we do but end up falling behind quite often due to audhd or our chronic illness… so we're passing in all of them but often just barely :'D i relate a bit to the "very smart but lazy" thing bc when we were little we missed a lot of days of school because school was a chore to get to, but when we DID go we often scored high and got good grades that only got dragged down bc of our lack of attendance… i think one year i missed something like 20 days of school!! and no things have not improved LOL. oh but i also want to take ASL classes too! i asked my advisor about it and (at risk of doxxing us here) she said that they have started offering them but i couldn't take them bc they booked up SO QUICK that no seats were available… and then right before the fall semester started, they cancelled the course????? and they didn't bring it back for the spring???? idk it's weird. anyway there's other places around us offering ASL courses so if push comes to shove, we'll take one of those over the summer :P

anyway, all of our in-person classes are over so we're home for the next month or so. i do have a few finals left to finish up but after next week i'm done. and right now i'm tired… so i'm taking a bit of a break to rest.

[1-deadgirlwalking-1]

11/3/2024

MY SCHOOL KEEPS HAVING EVENTS TO GO TO THE AQUARIUM BUT IT’S ALWAYS EVERY SINGLE TIME AT THE EXACT SAME AQUARIUM THAT IS 3 HOURS AWAY, I WANNA GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!1!!1! PICK A DIFFERENT ONE THAT IS CLOSER TO ME FOR ONCE, THERE ARE A DOZEN AQUARIUMS IN OUR STATE. GOSH. I CANNOT DRIVE SIX HOURS FOR A SINGLE DAY ONE EVENT TRIP!!!!!! let me see the FISHIES !!!!!!

but anyway, as a recap:

The friend I said blocked me because I scared him away had actually done so because he got with an abusive girl who forced him to block literally everyone, including MY MOM. MY MOTHER. After he broke up with her he unblocked me and explained the situation and now we’re back to being #besties forever again. I got in a QPR with the friend who’s play I went to and then we “broke up” (I said I wasn’t comfortable with dating anymore and expressed that I didn’t want it to change our relationship, which they said it wouldn’t. Real SHOCKER that didn’t happen. Though I don’t believe they are “in the wrong” for this, they can’t control their feelings.) and now we aren’t talking much anymore. BUT I’ve been texting this SUPER cool person I met a year ago and got to speak to again at their joint birthday party. They’re so awesome and I wanna be bestest friends but it’s difficult cause they live so far awayyyy. ):

And now currently:

I’m tired. I’ve gotten better, I’ve improved in the past few months. I’ve improved significantly even from the days when I was talking about how I’ve gotten so much better. I am constantly consistently improving whether or not I’m able to notice it at the time. I know this logically. But right now I’m in a depression. I had a manic episode a minute ago and now I am quite depressed. My sleep is whack, my eating is just as bad, my hygiene is getting worse. There was a point a little bit ago where I was consistently sleeping well and brushing my teeth daily, which was insane bcus I didn’t even think that was possible. But because I always let my bipolar get the best of me and refuse to medicate I’m back to the habits I’ve always had.

To show how I’ve felt, because I’m too tired to articulate it all over again, here’s a copy-paste of some messages I sent to my best friend on 10/22, 13 days ago:

“this morning mama made me come into her room to work on my schoolwork while i was tired and annoyed, cause i have two late assignments, and it made me wanna get worse to like “punish” her or something. (edgy.) like oh im not doing good enough? im not doing as well as i was earlier in the year? im doing everything wrong and you need to supervise me to make sure im actually working when i want to sleep because im tired and dont want to be alive? well what if i starved and starting hurting myself again fucking god just let me sleep i dont want to exist but i have to get up and get on my stupid eye bleeding computer because mama isnt “doing this with me anymore” and says i cant sleep all day and stay up all night and i need to get all of my schoolwork done every day. which i logically understand is because she cares about me and wants me to listen to her and doesnt want me to spiral and get in a terrible place but i feel like what is even the point.”

“why do i do anything whats the point of being alive i hate doing anything and everything except being with my friends and thats barely something i get to do. i just want to sleep forever nothing makes me really actually happy or content anymore. why am i even alive. im really depressed right now if you csnt tell i think im habing an episode”

“manic goes straight to depression sigh”

“i hate being bipolar im gonna fucking kill myself” (/nsrs)

I was improving about this mentally, feeling better again. But me and my mom had another chat about my parents possibly getting divorced, which is something we’ve had discussions about for a while. Just me and her. And I have known in my heart, that despite what she says; My father will most likely not get better or improve and she will divorce him one day, I just don’t know when that day is. And I’ve been content with that because I know if it did happen a lot would change but it would be for the best, and all I want is for my parents to be the happiest they can be, living the best lives they can. If my mother were to make that decision it’d be because it was the only choice to protect her safety health and wellbeing, she would never do something like that lightly. But when we were talking she said if they got divorced they’d have to sell the house and we’d most likely move into an apartment, which made me start crying because I wasn’t aware of that. I’d never thought of that. That they wouldn’t be able to afford it anymore.

And now because of that, I’m currently feeling like. What’s the point of anything. Why do I even exist. Why do I do the things that make me happy if I’m just going to lose it all tomorrow. What will I even have by then. I’m going to lose everything, I’m going to lose my parents marriage and my house and my entire livelihood. There’ll be no chance for me at that point, the only reason I’ve been improving is because I’ve been here in a safe comfortable place. The whole ordeal is going to ruin me. And it’s going to be all my fault because everything is always my fault.

I’m so tired. I just want. To sleep. It’s 1:03 AM. So I will.

[druidquest]

i did enjoy dawntrail a lot, i agree that it works great as a standalone and i also really liked what they did with living memory as a set piece and concept, but i honestly thought the writers had a bad habit of playing things too safe, and their handling of some of the characters was pretty clumsy. bakool ja ja and zoraal ja got it the worst, but i also think they introduced sphene a bit too late for the way they were trying to tell her story.

honestly i think bakool ja ja's arc and the cooking competition in yak tel is a good example of the issues with dt's writing. if they knew they were planning to give him a heel-face turn in the section immediately following this and had only presented him as an unlikeable jackass until then, why wouldn't they use the cooking competition as a way to set that up? pairing wuk lamat with koana was certainly the easy route but it felt like such a wasted opportunity. we already know koana, we've already seen him in a positive light. this shouldve been the point where we learn more about bakool ja ja, see how wuk lamat handles working with people she can't get a long with, and give some depth to what has thus far been a pretty one-note antagonist. koana doesn't even do anything in this arc!! he gets paired with wuk lamat and then immediately gets shuffled off screen. it was such a waste. they pretty much just tell us to hate bakool ja ja up until the exact moment they want us to feel bad for him, which made the whole arc kind of a flop for me.

zoraal ja also desperately needed to get more attention. like any attention at all. hes pretty much nonexistent until the midpoint of the story, and even then you don't really see him until youre getting ready to kill him. i really felt like he needed more room to breathe. krile also felt like an afterthought pretty much every time she came up, and i personally did not really like the payoff for what i will skeptically refer to as her arc. but its krile, not getting enough screentime is just her way.

the solution nine arc was also just kind of awkward to me. i honestly feel dawntrail's back half is made worse by knowing what theyre referencing, because if youve already played 9 you just spend that whole arc watching dawntrail fumble the game's same themes while throwing in whole sequences and set pieces for nostalgia. and while i do like sphene, i found it grating how long they keep making you be nice to her after the first reveal and thought she felt like kind of a tired retread of the same ideas they presented with hades and meteion (and golbez i guess).

i do like dawntrail, i agree that its probably one of the better expansions even if it never quite reaches the same highs as some of the other stories. it just couldve been a lot better than it was. its very well presented, just not as well constructed. it has a lot of fun moments, great visual design, some nice ideas. it was a little sloppy in places, i can definitely see why some people might have felt the first half dragged even if i personally didnt mind it. i wouldnt put it on the same level as shadowbringers, i dont think its quite as consistent, but i would put it in the endwalker-stormblood range. ragtime mouse isnt in it though, so 0/10

@druidquest see it was very obvious to me throughout dawntrail that a lot of this was an epic previous final fantasy reference (i haven't meaningfully played any final fantasies besides fourteen) but unlike endwalker postgame being a bunch of ff4 nostalgia bait that falls flat if you haven't played that game (with a "hey you guys loved shadowbringers right, remember shadowbringers?" bonus round) dawntrail works perfectly well without ever having played final fantasy nine. it pays homage and references and builds upon both earlier expansions and earlier games but it's not trying to ride the coattails of a better story in order to have any meaningful emotional payoff it's just good on its own and probably enhanced by knowing the original context of the things it references.

i don't think it was clumsy at all, dawntrail has a laser focus on its themes and message from start to finish in a way that makes the digressions and silly little errands you inevitably get sent on to pad the space between major plot beats feel much less excessive and annoying than they did in every expansion before. and it's funny that you call it an amusement park ride because the final area being exactly that is extremely intentional, living memory is an artificial experience meant to bring joy and relief from everyday sadness and sphene is dressed in a tacky plastic looking dress because she's the theme park mascot princess that serves as the face of that artificial experience. saying it's just clumsy but heartfelt references and cool shit rather than an emotionally impactful and well written epic is massively underselling how well put together dawntrail is. it's at least as good as shadowbringers and endwalker and which one you think is better will come down purely to personal preference.

[kunimikat]

How they act after you break up with them.

(I made sure to check but there might be small grammar errors, and this is a long one so strap in 🙇, but hope you enjoy angst+fluff here) but not me actually feeling bad for them after-

Is more out of it then usual.

The reason you broke up with him is because you felt like it wasn’t a real relationship. And more like you sometimes got to talk during class, and sometimes out of school.

He writes in his a separate notebook of ways he could’ve done better

Starts comparing himself to other guys more often

Leaves earlier then everyone else to got to dorms.

Mumbles even more then usual, and sometimes the only person that can snap him out of it is Aizawa.

Sometimes takes it out on his friends

“Hey Deku!-“

“Not right now Uraraka.”

“Oi, Deku nerd, the-“

“Can you not right now Kacchan?”

“HAAH?-“

“Midoryia! Would you like to study?”

“Maybe later Iida...”

Todoroki offered him soba but it resulted in Midoriya slowly slurping up soba as he looked into the void of people

He shut everyone one out and didn’t talk barely most of the week.

He’d take out a lot of his anger during training.

It somehow finally clicks into place how bad you feel and how much you miss him when All Might pull you aside and asks. “Uhhh...Is Young Midoriya ok? I’m getting real worried....ITS NOT LIKE I DONT WORRY ABOUT MY OTHER STUDENTS HAHAHA! HOW’S-

There’s 15 minutes of your life awkwardly telling All Might how all your classmates are doing.

Which made you want to jump off the top of UA at the moment.

You decide to head to his dorm and ask him about it, cause you feel like it’s your fault.

You walk in on him crying, clutching the shirt you bought for him on his birthday.

You almost dropped to your knees in guilt at the sight

You rushed over and sat by him, comforting him, though it wasn’t much as you started crying too.

Basically a crying festival for an hour.

“Please....Please Y/N I love you so much, I promise I’ll make it work, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you, just please...PLEASE don’t leave me.” You kiss him on the lips and then his hand, “Babe it’s not all on you, I promise I’ll do better this time too, I’m so sorry for being selfish, I love you, ok?” Another crying fest.

After you start dating again:

Always makes sure you’re comfortable, and checks into your dorm before he starts a study session.

Helps you with your work before his. ( Though you insist he doesn’t as he’s gotten points off multiple times for turning in his work late.)

Goes on dates every time you have some free space in your schedules. Somehow ends up in an All Might merch shop 80% of the time.

!!CUDDLE SESSIONS AFTER HERO TRAINING AT ALL TIMES!! Even in Recovery Girl’s office, though many times she bops you both on the head and tells you to get out.

(If you both like All Might) You both geek out over new All Might stuff, and his old interviews while wearing an All Might onesies.

(If you like a different hero) You could spend hours bickering on who’s best hero, pulling up recordings and articles on the. With you holding your favorite hero plushie and him wearing All Might pajamas.

And waking up early just to take a long route to school together.

Makes sure to say ‘I love you’ at every small moment, and compliments you, though he can’t take compliments himself-

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“I...I understand, but why?”

Tears well up in his eyes and he for once he keeps eye contact with you, without looking away

It takes everything in you to not breakdown

“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t think it’ll work out in the end.” He grabs your hand and holds it both of his. He puts it to his forehead, nearly on his knees at this point. You try not to cry with him, but you knew it wasn’t going to end up a happily ever after in the end. And you wanted to break it off before that could happen.

“Izuku, I know, I know, I’m so sorry, I wish it couldn’t end like this-“

“Then don’t let it. Please Y/N don’t let this end.”

You eyes welled up as you put a hand over your mouth while repeating ‘I’m sorry, so sorry Izuku’. You looked away from him as you slipped your hand out of his, you close your eyes painfully, the tears finally running down your face. You couldn’t help but look back one more time, and almost wanted to run to where he was and take it all back. He sat on his knees, his head in his hands as painful sobs wracked his body. You quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind you.

You both were pretty quiet and emotionless the whole week.

Midoriya was even worse then before,

It got to the point where sometimes he didn’t eat or sleep

He barely responded to anything anyone said

Hell, even Bakugo was worried at some point

Midoriya would always go back to his dorm and cuddle with the gifts you gave him while you were dating.

It took a long time for him to get over it, and even when he thought it did, he still gets emotional over it

Even after highschool it pains him to see your off doing your own thing without you at his side the whole time

Quieter then usual

Is so deep in thought, sometimes forgets he’s in class or what he’s doing

During tests, or while working on assignments he’d be so deep in thought he didn’t realize he broke his pencil, or used his quirk on his desk

Instead of having his usual outburst on people he’d just walk off, or click his tounge and walk off

Even during Hero Lessons he’d be less calculated, and not as pumped up

When anyone tried to ask he’d just say “Fuck off, I’m fine.”

His grades slightly dropped

He had bags under his eyes, and had even worse posture then usual

When it came time to leave, he’d be the first one out, and no one could find out where he’d go

A permanent frown was on his face at all times (basically him most of time but with a deeper frown)

No one knew what to do at this point

It didn’t click with you until one day during Hero Lessons

He was sparring with Kirishima and all of a sudden he fainted

Everyone was surprised to say the most

You rushed with Kirishima to Recover Girls office

You both almost busted the door off it’s hinges

She wacked you both on the head but quickly tended to Bakugo, surprising you both as she checked on him

“Oh....I wouldn’t have expected this from Bakugo.” You and Kirishima had confused looks on your faces. “Well he passed out from exhaustion, which I usually see with that foolish Midoriya boy. This one usually keeps up with himself, something must’ve happened.” She cut herself off as she saw the look on your face that said it all. She beckons Kirishima to follow her out, as he still wasn’t getting what was happening.

You finally got a good look at him, and saw just how exhausted he looked. The bags under his eyes, his bruised body, and how pained he looked in his sleep. You hugged the non-bruised part of his arm, and finally let the tears you held let go. “I’m sorry Katsuki...I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Before you realized he woke up, he placed his free hand on your head, rubbing small and soothing circles on your head. “S’okay, let’s make this work.” You knew you didn’t have to say anything else as you both stayed like that until Recovery Girl came in to kick you both out.

After you start dating again:

Comes to your dorm everyday to get you up knowing you’d oversleep if he didn’t (also wants to see your sleeping face...not in a weird way)

Cooks you breakfast in bed on off days,

You guys cook something together when you have a movie night

Instead of yelling most times, he just makes sure he understands your side of everything before jumping to conclusions

Makes sure he isn’t too rough with you verbally (lol not sure physically)

Brings you to his parents house during some free time since you get along with his mom and dad well

Won’t admit it but adores the fact that his parents love you

Whispers ‘I love you’ when he’s made sure your ‘sleeping’ (you’re not, you just wanna hear him say it all shy like)

You guys go on training dates, where you both train together, then have a picnic where you just trained

Him being more open with PDA, like holding your hand, or laying his head on your shoulder, etc. just small stuff

He loves playing with your hair and twisting it around his fingers while cuddling or studying

You both cheer on your favorite hero during a fight on TV, or you pick a random channel on TV and you just listen to him rant how stupid something is while you lean onto his shoulder at 2am (somehow got him to stay up this late)

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“No...no...you can’t, you can’t be serious”

He sounded so broken. His fists clutched so hard you thought his bones would pop out

Anger was evident in his face, and he honestly scared you with the face he was making

“Y/N....are you joking?” You frown and step back a little, did he really think everything you said was a joke? “No Bakugo, I just think this isnt gonna work out in the end.” You heard him click his tongue, then just look at you in shock, then anger. He looked down, his bangs covering his expression. “So you’re just gonna end it like that? No working anything out, just break up? It was one fucking mistake Y/N.”

“Yeah one big mistake, you don’t suck faces with some other person on accident, Bakugo.” The venom in your voice slicing through the tension filled air. “Can you just fucking forgive me? I won’t do it again.”

“You said that last time, Katsuki, then you go and clown off again-“

Before you could get anything else out Bakugo already had his quirk going in one hand, and the other holding your shoulder down. You both looked surprised, even as he backed away. “No..nononono fuck Y/N baby I’m sorry-” you smacked the hand that reached out for you. You started packing everything, Bakugo’s eyes widened as he just stood in shock. Before he knew it you were leaving already.

“N...NO NO Y/N PLEASE, I’M SORRY-“ he grabbed you by the arm that reached for the door knob. You quickly shrugged him out of his grasp, and opened the door. “Goodbye Bakugo, I hope well for the next person with you.” And you slammed it in his face. He stood there, it’s like the emotions he felt before were completely wiped when you slammed the door on him. It was 8:03pm, he should start getting ready for bed anyway.

For a few weeks he was unresponsive, and only talked when he needed to

His movements were sluggish and he’d often stare at nothing

Bakugo didn’t even glare, or really do anything when Midoriya tried talking him

Or shittyhair, dunce face, raccoon eyes, or soy sauce face

They were all the same, and just molded into one voice every time someone tried talking to him

After a while he got over it, but he still regrets what he did

You helped him through so much yet he went off and did stupid shit

Even after highschool, he’d still keep up on you frequently through social media

Basically stalking you on there, guessing he never truly got over it once he felt tears subconsciously stream down his face as he saw you with someone else, happier.

He felt like he didn’t do anything wrong, and he was confused at the throb in his heart every time you looked away from him or ignored him.

So he did ask you, and all you did was look at him like he just hit you.

Why did you look so hurt?

Todoroki shrugged it off, thinking you’d come back like you did after every fight you guys had

But you didn’t, and that’s what took an actual toll on him

More emotional

A permanent frown on his pretty features most of the time

All he mostly eats is soba

He didn’t know how to handle this in all honesty

Sometimes he’d just stare at you, and even when you looked back he’d just stare...

Sometimes he’s so out of it he doesn’t realize he’s either froze the entire classroom or was a living breathing radiator, or both (rip Momo, Satou, and Tokoyami)

He’d ask Midoryia for help but it came out as a fumbled mess most of the time:

“Midoryia...how do you hurt....them, a lot...without...? Can you help?

Midoryia is just like:

(Sorry I had to add that in I was cackling sm from it)

“I think you should just talk to them Todoroki.”

That was harder to do then he expected, you mangaged to avoid him pretty well,

One day he was just fed up and as soon as the bell rang he took your hand and left the class

He takes you to an empty classroom, his left side nearly giving you frostbite

You were about to yell at him before you saw his broken expression

“What...what did I do for it to be like this?” You we’re now quiet as you saw the confused and hurt expression on his face. Him barely being able to control either of his quirks, he was shaking, yet still held a confused expression. It just clicked with you, Todoroki wasn’t used to the sudden emotions or feelings, and when one of the people he’d usually go to to talk about it wasn’t there, he started to crumble.

You hugged him tightly , not caring if his quirks messed up your uniform. “I’m sorry Y/N....I’m sorry I’m not enough, but-“ You cover his mouth as tears fell from your eyes and onto the ground or his uniform. “I- I-I’m so sorry Todo...it’s just you never gave me affection and I was being so selfish and petty about it, I just- I didn’t realize that you went through your own experience for it to turn out like this. It’s not your fault, and I love you the way you are Shoto.” Todoroki didn’t even notice the tears come down his face as you kissed him over and over again. A small ‘I’m sorry’ from you every time. His quirks calmed down and now you were holding each other in a random classroom. You’re heart nearly stopped as you looked up at him and saw a small, teary eyed smile.

After you start Dating again:

Todoroki was much more observant

He’d stay up late readings articles saying “How to understand emotions” or “Is there other good food then Cold Soba” wait-

Regularly gets you gifts, even though most of the time you make him return the stuff since he’s been getting so much with his dads card

Endeavor ended up yelling at you both in a 7/11 while you were stuffing your faces with a soba flavored chips

You both figured out a way to get Todoroki to express himself without words

He’d slightly activate his left side if he wanted any sort of attention, and his right side was if he was feeling stressed or upset

He subconsciously goes to your dorm now to check up on you to make sure you’ve had a glass of water, dinner or anything really (He just wanted a reason to go to your dorm)

You played with his hair once, and he’s never going back

When cuddling he’d lay his head in the crook of your neck, hoping to feel you playing with his hair

You push him to start taking therapy sessions to understand what emotions he’s feeling and how to express them

Takes you in your free time to an empty field just to hear you talk, and learn more about you

And he’d always wake up early and made sure to get a few snacks for you before you woke up and brought them to your dorm room (Last time he tried to cook he almost burned the kitchen down)

Overall Todoroki just loves giving you small head pats now, you don’t know where it came from but you didn’t complain

Poor bby stuttered so hard the first time he said ‘I love you’ you giggled

Ended up making him feel embarrassed and like he did something wrong, but you quickly kissed him/praised him

He can’t stop saying it now, one time you picked up his pencil, before you could hand it to him just a sudden “I love you Y/N” the entire class looked at you both in shock

“STOP SUCKING FACES OVER THERE!”

“SHUT UP BAKUGO”

“HAAAH?”

Todoroki is the happiest he’s been.

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“Over? What do you mean we’re over?”

You felt so horrible by the the pure confusion on his face

But the rude things he said to you, over powering your want to get back with him

Lately Todoroki has been more protective, and rude. Insulting everything you do, belittling you slightly. It just added up and you were tired of it

Todoroki tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.

“Y/N your being on the dumber side again, are you hanging out with them too much?” You were taken aback by how nonchalantly he insulted you and your friends. “Excuse me? Todoroki did I hear you right?” You stepped foward leaning your head toward him. “Of course you can, or did Bakugo’s yelling make you not hear so well?” The fact he said it with no emotion, or nothing to it was making you clench your fist. “The hell has gotten into you Todoroki?” You shove his shoulder a bit. He frowned at you heavily making you flinch. “Well if you didn’t go and ignore me most of this week maybe I wouldn’t be like this. I usually hold my tongue but you’ve been rude this entire week.”

You stood there speechless. “Well Ex-fucking-cuse me Shoto. Maybe if you didn’t insult me all the damn time I wouldn’t ignore you, or wait for an decent apology.”

You drag out the last words as you glared at him, Todoroki giving one back. “I’m only telling the truth so you don’t look dumb. I’m helping you out Y/N, I thought you’d understand.” You scoff in utter shock, you couldn’t help the sudden urge to slap some sense into him. Now he stood speechless, the force in that slap causing his hair to look messy, and a red mark on his cheek. Tears were in your eyes as you clenched your fist, biting your lip from cussing him out on the spot. “Your lucky I don’t beat your sorry ass, just...just the the fuck out Todoroki!” You pushed him toward the door. He looked at you with no emotion in his face as he saw you start to bawl your eyes out. “Just...just get the hell out Todoroki, it’s over, we’re over.” He felt a pang in his heart, but choose to ignore it and just left.

It only actually came to him during the night as he was about to walk to your dorm after a nightmare, when he realized the entire conversation

He tried knocking on your door but you didn’t answer, even though he could hear your music

He went back to his dorm, sat on his bed and just had a full mental breakdown

Realizing his main emotional support that helped him through mostly everything was gone

He felt he said stuff his father said to you already which made it even worse

He tried texting and calling you but you had him blocked on everything

He repeated the entire conversation in his head, just now coming to how disgusting he really did sound

Todoroki for that whole week was an emotional wreck

During hero training if he was thinking about you or what he did he doesn’t notice poor Satou trying to get out of his wall of Ice.

Is always with Midoryia at some given time,

He kind of clinged onto people in his circle that gave him attention of some sort

When he some time passed he eventually got over it

After Highschool you both kept in touch, but it pained him when he saw you engaged and happy with another person

But he was happy if you were happy.

Heyyy so this is probably the longest thing I’ve written since like my last Wattpad fanfics I used to do(yikes). But hope you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to request! I’m taking them now so go wild.

Sorry that they were all confusing it’s my first hcs+scenario thingy, but I have a few other things in the works so... 💃🕺

[areseebee]

This isnt a prompt, just something Ive been thinking about, not only is James sort of taking her brother's place in the house and in the family, but imo its also thrown Michelle from being the little sister with a big brother, to being almost like a big sister for James (in that shes having to look out for him) which must be a hell of a shock to the system. Not to mention James going from being alone and an only child who probably never saw much of his family apart from his Mum, to being in the middle of this extended family and having a sibling relationship for the first time. I have a lot of feelings about the Mallon/ Maguire cousins ;_;

such good points, anon, you’ve really had me thinking about this for a couple of days, and it’s sent me down a small rabbit hole and resulted in the unfocused, unwieldy train of thought you see below. i have lots of feelings about the mallon/maguire cousins too! and i don't feel like i've even begun to fully unpack them here.

but i’m thinking about the timeline, especially. i’m doing the math and estimating that niall is probably 2-3 years older than michelle. could conceivably be more, could conceivably be less, but this feels like a good sweet spot to me. but it also likely makes niall an actual child still (i’m thinking he’s 17 when he’s imprisoned, which makes michelle potentially 14 – a year before s1 derry girls) and that’s just really devastating.

and if this all happens only a year before james moves to derry, how incredibly crushing it would be to see james move in, like deidre is just replacing niall who michelle isn’t allowed to go see or even really talk about so it’s like he doesn’t even exist anymore.

so for michelle, james is there, in her house, staying in her brother’s room – it’s only been, like, a week and everyone keeps calling it “james’s room,” even her ma, as if niall hasn’t barely been gone for even a year. it gets her boiling every time – and now she can’t even fucking be rid of him at school. honestly, they should all just let him get beat up at the boys’ school, the english prick – maybe he’d learn to stop making those faces like he’s just tasted something minging every time he looks around at his surroundings.

she’s tried being nice but he doesn’t seem to get it, not with the way he’s always got that sour look on his face. fine then, but she just wishes he’d get it through his thick skull that she doesn’t want him here just as much as he doesn’t want to be here, he’s not special for it.

the night before the start of new term, she thought everyone had gone to bed so when her ma knocks, she lets out a startled, “jesus christ!” and then a “fuck!” because now she knows she’s going to be in for it – for staying up too late, and for the language (as always).

but then her ma comes in looking so tired and doesn't even say anything about the late night or the language, and just sits, perched at the end of michelle’s bed and asks her, “promise you’ll keep an eye on him, won’t you, michelle?”

michelle is so shocked that all she says back is, “aye, mammy, i promise.” which she really fucking wishes she hadn’t said because now she’s going to have to actually do it.

and james doesn’t really, fully understand it. like, he gets that his older cousin is in jail for killing someone – not surprising, if he’s being quite honest. niall always freaked him out a little, and he’s got an…interesting taste in music, if james is going off the posters on the walls – but no one really talks about him until michelle catches him taking down a dead kennedys poster and goes absolutely mental on him.

the next weekend, when his uncle martin tells him he’ll help clean up the room so james can feel more at home, james notices how gingerly martin takes down the posters, rolling them up and labeling them carefully like they’ll be sorted through and hung up again someday.

he feels really bad that he didn’t ask first when he started taking things off the walls before and makes sure he eats all of the cowboy supper they order from fionnula’s that night without complaint.

[kkusuka]

Haikyuu poly headcannons!! <33

 Pairs: Kageyama & Hinata, Oikawa & Iwaizumi, Ushijima & Tendo, Sakusa & Atsumu, Kurro & Kenma, and finally Bokuto & Akaashi. 

part 2

Sfw AND Nsfw 

Slight time skip spoilers!!!

let me know what you want to see next

word count: 2.6K I got a bit carried away. lol

FEMALE READER

Kageyama Tobio  and Hinata Shoyo

Sfw

It's a constant fight for attention

They are polar opposites, Hinata is warm and energetic while Kageyama is confused and awkward, but  they both love you so much it hurts.

How you got together was kind of a funny story, you and Hinata knew each other from middle school and reconnected when you met at a local mall in tokyo. So when you and Hinata started hanging out more he couldn't help but brag to Kageyama about it, which led to him wanting to meet you and thus began the year long fight for your love. 

You couldn't choose between them so they came to the decision that they would just share you!

Your dynamics are pretty simple, you spend as much time with whoever is not at practice at the time, lucky they have two completely different practice schedules, Hinata in the morning and Kageyama in the afternoon.

That meant cuddling with Kags in the morning and cooking lunch with Hinata in the afternoon. 

You guys also have a weekly date night! You have a rotation of who gets to choose what they want to do. 

Unsurprisingly Hinata likes volleyball inspired dates, but he also likes the movie and picnic dates!

Kageyama is a bit more romantic, shockingly (he read a dating book), like romantic dinners and late night walks , shopping, anything to see you happy.

They also love anything you want to do, stay in? They make popcorn for movies. Dinner? Where, what and when should they make a reservation. 

They are literally so whipped for you.

Nsfw

Oh~ ho ho~

I am a firm believer that these two are switches. 

Hinata is a bit more submissive than Kags (for the most part), but he has his moments. 

And i have this thing where Kags makes you and Hinata fuck while he watches biut votgh of you are power bottoms.

Toys toys toys

I'm talking double ended dildos and vibrators galore.

Punishments are usually for Hinata and consist of you riding Kags while he watches, and its absolute torture.

They also have nights where they have you alone and those are sweet and romantic, rose petals and candles. 

It's never boring <33

“Tobio, doesn't she look so pretty?” 

“God Shoyo you’ll cum in your pants if you grind like that” 

“ go fuck yourself on the fucking dldo like a slut” 

Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime 

Sfw

There are two ways that this happened

1. You grew up with them and slowly fell in love through your life, and you all got together in highschool

Or 

2. You met Oikawa in Argentina, literally fell in love at first sight, stars in your eyes. This led to him bringing you back to Japan, which led to you meeting “Iwa-chan” (who looked much more beautiful in person). After hanging out everyday for about 3 weeks Oikawa bright up the idea of sharing

And here you are! 

You guys are all similar but you share personal things with each boy

With oikawa you have the obsession with aliens and you too even have a beauty routine that you do every night before bed.

With Iwaizumi you, of course, make fun of Oikawa at every waking moment. But! You also do all different kinds of exercise with him. You have a monthly yoga class and a swim aerobics program every other tuesday! 

These two spoil you so much it's ridiculous.

Perfumes, jewelry, clothes and even gaming things.

They will get you anything even if you don't want it (and they are rolling in cash so it doesn't really matter.) 

Nsfw

Iwaizumi rules the bedroom.

And as much as Oikawa pretends to be the top, he falls apart the second you kiss him neck. 

Favorite position?

Simple. It can go two ways.

Oikawa laying on his back, Iwa fuking him into heaven and you sitting on his face OR you on your stomach ass up with Iwa between your legs and Oikawa's dick in your mouth. 

The only real times Oikawa is in you is when Iwazumi wants to see both of you be pathetic sluts, or when Oikawa is being punished, mostly cockwarming while he is tied and not able to thrust in you.

 Double penetration?

 Your punishment.

Whine and cry all you want neither of them are slowing down, this is really the only time Oikawa is dominant in the bedroom

“Aw, Tooru, look at her! So pathetic!”

“You look like two whores trying to fuck, Harder brats” 

“Oh! Iwa her throat gets tighter when you do that!” 

Ushijima Wakatoshi and Tendo Satori

Sfw

Oh bby how did you get so lucky?

You have the best of both worlds!

Tendo, who you can joke around and cook with.

And Ushijima, your pillar and voice of reason. 

This relationship was 100% started by Tendo. No question. He saw you and decided right then and there that you were his, and what kind of best friend would he be if he didn't share with Wakatoshi! 

Thank god you were willing to do this, it would have Broken Satori AND Wakatoshis heart :((

This WAS the best decision of your life. 

Your first date as a threesome was so cute, it started with walking around tokyo and you stopped and ate in a small cafe. You begged them to pay and they didn't let you so this became a game to see if you could ever find a way to pay before them.(you're still failing to this day) 

After the cafe they took you to a small beach that had a little volleyball net set up. Insert uwus here

They taught you how to play, the basics if you didn't already know, and you guys played around until it was 2am 

All of your dates are different but they either end like that or cuddling on the couch wachting movies. OR you know ;))

Nsfw

UHHH there are two ways this could go. 

You being absolutely ruined by these two. Both being pretty big, they easily overpower you. 

Tendo also has the obsession with being in your ass while ushijima rips your poor pussy apart. 

Sadist tendo also makes a slight appearance, not letting yu cum for hours then making you cum over and over and over again

Or 

Mr. Tendo controls what you and Toshi do! 

Trust me Wakatoshi is still controlling you every waking second, but having Tendo tell him what to do (being slightly unaware of what to do anyway) gets him off just as much as you. 

And when he’s feeling more adventurous, Tendo has kept you and Ushijima on literal leashes at his feet while he just chilled out. (i literally love this so much-)

You guys do a lot of exploring!

“Harder Toshi, the slut can take it”

“” we don't have enough dicks to fill all your holes” 

“Satori! Please!” “Shhh, floor whores don't get to talk” 

Sakusa Kiyoomi and Miya Atsumu

My #2 pair 

DAMN, i can't even put how whipped they are for you in words. 

You defiantly knew Sakusa first. 

You two met in the supermarket, much to his displeasure he had to shop for himself, it was the classic strangers to lovers trope 

You both reached for the same countertop cleaner! 

To both of your shock you touched his hand and immediately started to apologize to him (he couldn't even reply because he was so stunned by your beauty) 

He snapped back and started to interrogate you about what cleaning products you use, you both didn't even realize how much time passed with you just talking about how you clean.

Eventually you exchanged numbers and texted almost all day.  

This led to him texting you back every chance he had during practice breaks, but he never told you he was a professional volleyball players AND happened to be on one of the top teams in the country, (you found out when he randomly followed you on instagram)

Eventually he got sloppy and Atsumu looked at his phone and found your number! Aren't you lucky ;) almost immediately after he started to question Sakusa about you

Who is she?

Where did you meet?

Is she pretty?

Gimmie her number Omi, i wanna know her too!

Eventually Atsumu just stole his phone and started to non-stop call you. 

“Uh Kiyo? This guy keeps calling me and asking me questions about you.”

“Ignore it” 

It got so bad that when you officially met atsumu he had followed Sakusa to your meeting spot, and you hit it off! (much to Kiyoomi’s disdain) 

After a few months, and a lot of talks, all three of you entered a relationship!

Your dynamic was great! You were clean like Sakusa and fun like Atsumu!

Perfect!

Another spoiling group, it's like they just know what you want. It doesn't even matter what you think :// no take backs :))

Plus you have girl time when they are at practice, a good time to plan surprises ;)

You even got Atsumu into skin and hair care (kiyoomi approves) 

You are literally perfect (and the hottest couple in the planet) 

Nsfw

Sakusa is in control.

No question.

He wants ti fuck you? Done.

He wants to watch you play with yourself. Already rubbing circles on your clit. 

He wants you to ride Atsumu until you squirt? You're bouncing on Atsumu Cumming and cumming. 

Believe it or not Sakusa AND Atsumu love messy blowjobs, seeing you slobber all over yourself and their cocks is the most beautiful thing to them. 

Atsumu also has the dirtiest most vulgar mouth on earth, will not spare your feelings one bit. 

But that doesn't even measure up to how Kiyoomi speaks to you. He has no shame is telling you that they are going to let everyone on the team fuck you senseless. 

Sakusa also loves to punish you and Atsumu for literally anything, he will tie you to each other and put vibrators in your holes and just watch you  two desperately grind on each other to get relief that just won't come. 

(they both love to ruin your orgasm too) 

“Go Whore i know you can bounce faster than that” 

“Look at her Omi! Isnt she the best little cumdump? Yes you are! Yes you are!” (pls he treats you like a pet) 

“Hey Miya. Wouldn't shugo just love to have her on her knees for him? I think we should let her sometime” 

I would do anything for these two- 

Kuroo Tetsuro and Kozume Kenma

Oh? You're the most spoiled pet in the world?

You definitely grew up together, aka you've had both of them wrapped around your finger since you were 8.

 You guys probably started dating after you accidentally let it slip that you were in love with the both of them. 

After you all confessed and talked for hours, you were officially dating!

Not much has changed, but they were more affectionate and loving and more physical with you. 

Your dates are really random, all the varying schedule and all. 

They take you to anime cafes and gaming cafes and ALL the different cafes. 

They always tell you you don't have to work but you feel bad so you started a makeup channel on youtube! And of course you were a sensation! 

You and Kenma make little collab videos and were voted as the cutest couple of the year! 

But that doesn't1 mean you aren't involved in Kuroos life just as much! 

You help him get ready every morning, he just “can't” tie his tie even after doing it since highschool. 

You make him a unique bento everyday! 

You even buy him little chemistry sets whenever you see that a new model was released!

Plus living with two cuddle bugs is a dream for any girl ;)

Nsfw 

The way that both of them are into cockwarming- 

Whenever Kenma is not streaming he wants you to sit on his cock, just be a good kitten and do it. 

No worries! Between rounds he'll start to pound you for as long as he can, but it's never enough  for you to cum :// too bad you'll just have to wait until he’s done, or when Kuroo some home. 

With Kuroo it's usually when he is doing more work in his home office. This is pure torture.

He won’t even pay attention to you until HE wants to cum. 

To add on to that neither of them are afraid of fucking you infront of people. 

Kenma has no fear of keeping you at his feet while he streams so you can suck him off whenever he wants. 

One time he was on a zoom call with his PR team and they had no idea you were deepthroating his cock under where the camera could see. 

Kuroo is the worst with this too, he’ll start fucking you when he knows he ahs a work call in a few minutes, so in the middle of fucking he’ll just answer the phone and make you shut up :((

Both of them together? You’re fucked. (literally haha) 

Kenma a bottom , 100%, just not as much as you.

Sex mostly means kuroo fucking you and sucking kenma off. 

“I wonder if everyone would still follow you if they  knew what a slut you are” 

“Kitten you have to be quiet for Daddy now, this call is important” 

“Look at that kenma, she’s cumming all over the place while drooling all over you!” 

Bokuto Kotaro and Akaashi Keji

The owl nest?  Yes Ma’am.

You were akaashis girlfriend first, but that meant you were practically dating Bokuto anyway. 

Akaashi? He loved it, you were just so cute when you tled to Kotaro! 

When he got excited, you got excited and you were just the cutest two babies in the world!

 The way you would talk for hours about nonsense and laugh about the stupidest things. 

Slowly but surely Akaashi braugh Bokuto into the relationship, and you had no objections! 

It started with small things like movie nights that turned into sleepovers that became full dates! 

Dates? Oh man you go on one almost every night! 

The movies! Bookstores! Restaurants! 

Even to the volleyball gym.

Sometimes Akaashi takes you to Bokuto’s games and you two just Cheer your lungs out!

This seems crazy but one time on your anniversary that took you to an owl farm! 

It was probably the funnest night of your life, and that was it all three of you knew that this was how you wanted to spend the rest of your lives. 

Nsfw 

Bokuto might be the driving force but Akaashi is the real mastermind behind the bedroom life. 

Sex mostly includs being railed by Bokuto for hours while Akaashi whispers sweet praises in your ears, telling you how good your gtaking Bokuto. 

Akaashi is also a firm believer in punishing people with toys,aka Bokuto getting ahead of himself and ignoring Akaashis commands which lands him tied up and a vibrator pressed to his sild until his orgass are dry :)

 Of course you are no better, cumming before your told or vene worse masterbating without permission. 

That lands you with a bunny vibrator, unable to move and just watching as Akasshi fucks Bokuto with your favorite dildo :( 

But if you'd just listen this would have never happened, just promise not to do it again! 

“Keji please, pease, wanna cum s-so bad” 

“Gee, you're just sucking him in huh? After all this time you still want more!” 

“You are just the prettiest little thing huh.” 

[annabellelupin]

Perciver (Percy x Oliver) Headcanons

They first met on the train ride to Hogwarts after Percy tripped over Oliver's luggage that he left out in the aisle

After a short argument, Percy went to find an empty compartment, only to find they were none and didn't have much of a choice but sit with Oliver

He was very annoyed to hear that he was more interested in quidditch than actual studies

"I can't wait until I can try out for the quidditch team next year"

"You know there's a lot more to Hogwarts than just quidditch right?"

When the train arrived at the station, Percy was more than happy to leave the compartment and the "annoying quidditch boy" behind

Unfortunately for him, the hat sorted them both into Gryffindor, meaning he would have to deal with and share a dorm with the obnoxious and impulsive jock for the next 7 years

Most of their first year, they completey ignored each other, finding the other extremely annoying

In their second year, Oliver became the Gryffindor quidditch keeper after he did amazingly at tryouts, which Percy wasn't too happy about

He thought that he wasn't taking anything that wasn't quidditch seriously, and he wasn't exactly wrong

Oliver always seemed to insist on putting off homework to practice quidditch

Percy tried to convince Charlie, the current quidditch captain, to kick him off the team multiple different times

"I agree that he should focus more on his studies, but he's the best Keeper Gryffindor has had in years. I can't just kick him off the team. We need him. Maybe you could just try to help him out a bit, you know, encourage him to study more,"

"He'd never listen. He's a complete moron and doesn't care about anything that isnt quidditch,"

"Well you're a complete moron that doesn't care about anything besides your studies but I'd still help you out if you needed it,"

Percy decided not to go Charlie's suggestion to help Oliver out, thinking that it would be a waste of time and continued with his earlier plan to simply ignore him completely

However, half way through third year Mcgonagall offered Percy a chance at some extra credit, and of course he agreed before she even explained what it was all about

She explained to him that Oliver wasn't doing very well in transfiguration and if he continued doing poorly, he would have to be removed from the quidditch team so he could focus more on his studies and when she had discussed the matter with Charlie, he suggested having Percy tutor him

If it wasn't for the fact that he'd hate to go back on his word and disappoint Mcgonagall, he wouldn't have done it at all

Although he didn't hate the idea of tutoring such a moron much less

He tutored him for the rest of third year, and neither of them were too happy about having to associate with the other as much as they did

Fourth Year, Oliver was appointed quidditch captain by Mcgonagall (and just as Charlie had requested)

Percy continued to try his best to ignore him, although it was becoming harder and harder to do since they had most of the same classes

One night a few weeks before the first Gryffindor quidditch match of the season, he found Oliver alone in the Gryffindor common room with rolls of parchment and quills everywhere

"Finally decided to do a bit of studying?" Percy asked in a mocking tone

"No actually. I'm working on strategies for the quidditch game. Not that you'd understand," Oliver retorted as he took out another roll of parchment from his bag

Percy grabbed one of the pieces of parchment paper and examined it closely

After he took a look at a few others, he quickly realized how well Oliver was at strategizing

"These strategies-"

"Let me guess, are terrible and not as good as your brother's?"

"I was going to say genius,"

Oliver quickly looked up at him to try to see if it seemed like he was lying or not

"You really think so?"

"Of course I do, we both know that if i didn't think they were good I'd just tell you,"

"Thanks" Oliver replied awkwardly

"Might I offer a few suggestions,"

"I don't see why not,"

For the rest of the night, the two boys continued to discuss quidditch strategies for the upcoming game

After that night, they started to talk to each other a lot more, slowly realizing the other wasnt so bad after all

Percy even agreed to tutor him once again, as long as he actually tried to put forth the effort

They quickly became friends and often stayed up late into the night, talking about quidditch and exams and helping each other when ever they needed it

Their fifth year was definitely a bit more complicated than that with Percy being busy with prefect duties and Oliver with quidditch

It seemed as if the less time they spent together, the more they both realised how much they actually liked each other

About half way through fifth year, Percy's good friend, Penelope Clearwater, asked him if he was seeing anyone

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No"

"Perhaps a boyfriend then?"

"Nope"

"Well what about Wood? You two seemed awfully close last year,"

"He's just a friend"

"Mhm sure he is,"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean just friends, don't look at each other the way you two look at each other,"

Percy thought about what Penelope said a lot over the next few days, slowly becoming more and more confused as to how he felt about Oliver

He also kept thinking about how even if he did like him, there was no way Oliver felt the same- or even liked boys for that matter

It seemed like Oliver had a new girlfriend every few weeks, never sticking with one for long

Percy began ignoring him on accident, and Oliver was quick to notice but chose not to say anything, worried that he had done something to cause Percy to be mad at him

The silence continued between the two for the rest of that school year, and wasnt addressed until the beginning of their sixth year

"Percy, we need to talk,"

"About what?"

"Did- did I do something that upset you last year?"

"Of course not. What would make you say that?"

"Well its just that you kept ignoring me is all,"

"I'm really sorry about, I wasn't meaning to its just-" Percy took a deep breath in and decided to be honest with him "It's just that Penelope suggested that I liked you and then i started thinking about it and slowly realized that what she said was true so I accidentally started ignoring you,"

"Wait, you like me?"

"I know it's stupid and that you don't feel the same,"

"What do you mean? I've had a crush on you since fourth year,"

"What?!"

"I thought I had made it so obvious,"

"I- I never realized once. But if you do like me, then why do you keep dating so many different girls?"

"I was trying to make you jealous. I honestly don't even like girls,"

"Wow. I feel so stupid,"

"Me too,"

After that they decided that they wanted to be in a relationship together, but wanted to keep things a secret for the time being

The rest of their sixth year went pretty smoothly, and everything went really well until seventh year

During their seventh year, they weren't able to talk much during the day since both were really busy (Oliver with quidditch and Percy with head boy duties)

They still always tried to make time for each other tho

After losing the match to Hufflepuff, they snuck out of the castle and got some butterbeer and Percy attempted to cheer Oliver up (it did work in the end)

Later on after Gryffindor won the house cup, the two ended up just cuddling and kissing in their dorm room instead of joining the other Gryffindors in the common room party since Percy wasn't fond of all the noise

Once the two left Hogwarts a few weeks later, they both decided to keep in touch by letter and meet up when they could

When the Quidditch world cup was announced, Oliver offered to buy Percy a ticket for the seat next his, but he respectfully declined, already planning to sit with his family

Despite this, they spent a lot of time together while there

Almost immediately after the quidditch match ended, they snuck off together and ended up snogging by a lake not too far from where they were camping

Unfortunately Charlie found them kissing when he went to go look for Percy, and both of them became extremely flustered

"I uhh, we were just, umm, Oliver what were we doing again" Percy stammered, getting redder by the second

"Umm well weren't you just trying my butterbeer chapstick" Oliver replied, not trying to make eye contact with either of them

"Yes of course, and now that I have, I'll just leave" He tried to walk away but Charlie grabbed his arm before he could

"Wait just a minute Perce. I know that you and Oliver are dating,"

"What?? Why didn't you tell me that we were dating Percy?" Oliver lied, trying to act like he had no idea of what's going on

"You're not helping," Percy scolded his boyfriend

"I just saw you snogging him, if you're going to lie to me, at least try to do it well" Charlie mumbled

"I don't mind you two being together, and I promise I won't tell anyone" he added

"Thanks," Percy sighed

"So wait, you're not going to kill me for kissing your little brother?" Oliver asked jokingly

"Of course not" He laughed. "Bill probably would've though,"

"Well I'm just going to go back to camp now. I assume dad's wondering where I am," Percy attempted to walk away again

"One more thing,"

"What is it?"

"I just wanted you know that I think he's a keeper," Charlie laughed loudly

Oliver quickly joined in on the laughter and Percy groaned out of annoyance

I'm just going to leave this off here since its already really long but if you want me to write some more post Hogwarts Perciver hcs or any ship or character hcs, let me know (you can comment on this post if you want me to make more Perciver hcs and tell me through asks or dm for other character hc requests)

[virtual-luvr]

Lantern Rite

Pairing: Xiao x Reader

Pronouns: none, gn

Content: fluff, yearning/pining (a little?), kissing

Description: Lantern Rite wasnt so bad if Xiao got to spend it with you.

Note: happy (late) lantern rite; yall were probably waitiNG for this one. Also wrote this in celebration for me getting Xiao on day one, I love him so much.

------------------

You sat down on the ground, hands pressed down on the grass and turning your head to the sky. Thousands and thousands of lanterns littered the sky, glowing brightly and filled with wishes of the people of Liyue.

You hadnt lit up a lantern yourself but you were hoping you would light one up soon enough, you just waited to be able to do it with someone else.

Speaking of that someone, he was very far away at the moment, or atleast he wasnt anywhere near you.

That someone being Xiao, and he was probably fighting off something or eating almond tofu all by himself.

The traveller, which had helped you through many of travels, had let you know that Xiao was not eager to spend lantern rite with anyone. But they had hoped that you could somehow convince him.

Thinking of Xiao and how to get him over where you sat, you completely forgot that just by calling for him he would come.

Not necessarily did you have to say his name out loud.

"You called?" You heard a voice say from behind you.

As you look back you meet the eyes of Xiao, and he doesn't look happy to be here. You could go as far as to say he defenetly didn't want to be there.

You excidently call out his name again and raise your hand to grip his, the sudden action making him flinch and hold his breath for a second.

Noticing the action, you try to soothe him a bit by rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand and you notice he isnt holding his breath anymore.

"Xiao, its so nice to see you. Could you come sit with me?"

He's about to reject until he actually looks at you, the expression on your face making it incredible difficult to say no. So he lets out a huff and soon enough he sits down right beside you.

Knees and shoulders know touching, you grab his hand again and press a small kiss to it, a thank you for sitting next to you and not leaving.

He tries not to react but the blush that forms on his face is incredibly cute, and his actions afterwards are adorable.

He looks to the side and avoids your gaze, hoping you'd stop looking at him sooner or later.

You notice his nervousness and decide you don't want to particularly tick him off, so you don't tease him for any of his embarrasment.

You both sat in comftorable silence for a bit until you look to the side again and are met with Xiao softly smiling and looking up at the lanterns.

His smile was defenetly a rare sight to see.

You only got to see it once in a while, it was almost like a present, and one that you did not mind at all.

If you could see yourself in that moment, you looked at him as if he were the one that put all the stars in the night sky.

Cheesy, I know.

But it was true, you had fallen for that yaksha not so long ago, you had only hoped he had fallen for you too.

You were so caught up in just remembering his smile you hadnt notice he had even stopped smiling and was now looking at you.

"What is it that you want?" He says, tone softer the usual.

"There is nothing I want from you Xiao, I just want to be with you in this moment for now"

Your words quickly shut him up, his normal glare was gone and he just sat there, staring at you.

You could basically hear him repeating, "why?", inside of his head.

But you didn't answer that question, instead you grab the hand beside you and this time, instead of letting go, you held onto his hand while looking back at the lanterns.

He didnt tense up as much as last time, and he also didn't pull back either.

Now instead of you staring at him, it was him staring at you.

You could feel his stare, but you didn't try to tell him to stop or anything.

Instead you look back at him and he looks as if he's analyzing each and every one of your features.

You could say the same for yourself, the light from the lanterns and liyue harbor itself illuminated so beautifully on him. You couldn't help yourself but tug a small piece of his hair behind his ear, and when he looks at your hand and then back at you, you couldnt stop yourself.

You softly cup one of his cheeks and swiftly lean in, pressing a kiss to his lips. Scared that he wouldn't like it, you pull away, only slightly though. Both of you still sat very close to eachother, you could feel his breath on your skin.

Xiao lets out a small huff before ppening his mouth, "...disgusting"

At that, your heart almost falls out of your chest, you almost started crying. Being rejected by Xiao was not going to go well for you.

You were about to have a full blown panic attack until he grabs onto you and pulls you closer, "do it again"

His words are hushed and basically muffled as he leans in closer to you, but you oblige happily, thanking the archons that you didnt just get rejected.

The kiss lasted only a few seconds before you back up a bit to try and talk to him, but he grabs the back of your head softly and follows your lips, trying to get another kiss.

His plan succeeds and you kiss him again, this time he leans into you even more, humming happily.

You back up one again, this time you're the one that succeeds.

You look at him, gaze intense, and he looks back up at you. Both of you said no words, yet many at the same time. Just by looking at eachother, you both knew the relationship that is now blossoming.

And for once, Xiao felt complete.

[A/N; I will be opening up my inbox/requests when I do hit 500 followers here on tumblr so stay alert for that :D]

[1127 words; feb/23/21]

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

seungmin x reader | part seven of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & angst

↬ warnings; obviously pregnancy, talk of sex/condoms, talk of morning sickness, cursing, child-birth

↬ notes; i feel like my mental health is getting worse and it has been really hard to be positive but i finished this awhile ago, never posted it! just thought to post it today since i just reached 500 followers,, tysm everyone for the support on my posts and following me for content,, i’m waiting for enhypen debut rnnn, it’s really one of the only things keeping me happy n ready. my bias is jungwon :) he’s so adorable n cute i can’t wait + i hope to start writing for enhypen soon when i feel better,, ty guys <3

the night was a one night stand

seungmin had no plans to see you after, you already gone by the morning so it made no different what he wanted afterwards

so with his number in your phone, you decided that texting him would be the best

you texted him your address, asking him to meet with you after u addressed who you were

the best maybe after twelve, seeing as how from nine to eleven you would be occupied with the toilet bowl, the morning sickness really weighing on you

hes there, ready to talk, looking great

ur just there in a t-shirt and sweatpants with slightly messy hair

you seat him on ur couch, pacing in the kitchen before actually beginning to talk

“it broke, or maybe you forgot. i don’t know but you, you got me pregnant.”

i honestly see seungmin being really innocent in this and he’s just made a bad decision which resulted in a baby

“wh-what? no, i used.. i..”

it dawns on him that he can’t remember slipping on a condom before

he’s turned white as a sheet, probably feeling more ill than you

he does the math, figuring you’re around two months, you’re not that far along obviously

“we don’t have to do this, you hardly know me.”

hes shaking his head quickly, “nono, i wanna.. i may never get this chance again. i might not ever meet someone again, so, if it’s with you? i’m fine with that.”

seungmin was there for the next appointment, fully supportive and stepping up

hes scared but so excited

he also moves out of the dorms, raising flags, but he keeps assuring everyone that he was just getting a change of scenery

he claims he got a dog but uh, there isn’t one

he actually moves in with u, an apartment that wasn’t too far away from the dorms and he will time to time spend the night if they need him to

ur actually really understanding of his career and u admire his adjustment

late night with him where u two go to a twenty-four hour convenience store and buy every junk food possible

u also acquired strange cravings such a pineapple and cream cheese or kimchi and chocolate sauce

that night however u rly had a craving for cheese and cheese only

it doesn’t last however, from three to five you are in the bathroom hunched over

he?? isnt?? actually?? the worst partner to get pregnant from a one stand with?????????????????????????????????????????

he’s pretty much a sweetheart

bless everyones heart though when they find out about you

“this is my friend, we are.. having a uh, baby!”

haha surprise...

u swore that jisung’s breath was lost when he said that

chan is fucken freaking out about this

“we’re gonna be uncles!”

everybody screaming and cheering which was a good sign

ur days are average and u guys just act like friends

friends having a baby lmfao

it’s a fine line between dating and not dating

seungmin reaaalllyy likes you but he has this bit of guilt in him for getting you pregnant

ur the one who uprooted your life and ur gonna have a kid for the rest of ur life with him and he’s still living his and doing what he loves

seungmin heart eyes motherfucker when u come to a concert, just there to see him n see what he does for a living

u guys get this cute ass picture of everyone lmfao i just imagine the boys and seungmin standing around and posing with ur small bump

he doesn’t get to go to every single appointment, so his first appointment he went to was when you were around six and a half months

he’s super excited and just super nervous

so many expecting moms its crazy

when your name is called and you two go back, he’s jumping out of his seat and going back with you

the doctor applies the gel on your stomach, the rounded bump sticking out prominently

his hand clasps around yours, fingers laced with yours and he gives you a warm smile

the screen flickers on and theres your baby

it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen

he can clearly see the legs and arms, theres the head!!! he can make out the toes and fingers

then u guys get to hear the heartbeat together

it’s so strong and he just,, wow.. this is real 😣

ur bearing his child, your guys’ baby,, he can hardly believe it

then the doctor asks if u two want to know the gender

“yeah.” 🥺🥺🥺

ofc u could’ve known before but u didn’t know if seungmin wanted to find out or wait n u just would feel guilty if u went ahead

he was rly trying to be as involved as possible, he had a busy schedule and u two weren’t even dating and this whole thing was happening secretly

they turn the monitor for you two to look at, pointing around

“there they are, we have a baby boy.”

seungmin is so taken aback, this all is so .. unreal for him

he’s ready to get the disc with ur ultrasound footage n the heartbeat but also the ultrasound photos 🥺 he’s so in love with your baby boy

u two are just sitting in the office after, ur wiping off ur belly n he’s just like

“i’m in love with you. you and our son — i know, we agreed to co-parenting and no feelings but,” his voice is so strained n he’s just so fragile n so utterly raw, “i couldn’t help it.”

ur fact at first is just frozen and slightly shocked

then ur like 😮🥺😣

“no, cause i was thinking the same exact thing.”

that seals the deal for u two pretty much, ur both emotional wrecks in the exam room

theres the boyfriend and girlfriend dynamic now — seungmin and you sleeping cuddled together

it wasn’t like you two didn’t cuddle before,, but it would usually end up with seungmin silently creeping out of bed or you softly removing his arm or you leaving him gently

u rely on him more, the final trimester hard on you and ur so exhausted and hurting

u two getting the nursery ready together which actually consists of u sitting down rather than actually doing anything

though u will have to teach this boy how to put away bibs and fold baby clothes

u two are young and u both have a lot of explaining to do to your own families, but they are supportive

they r more than happy to teach u two about children and giving tips on these things

blue nursery with lil teddy bears around and its just the cutest, props to room designer seungmin 🤓

baby boy is so stubborn, you’re past your due date and you both want him out

you two try a shit ton of things

name it all: pineapple, spicy foods, raspberry tea, daily walks around the block, literally everything

everything except for the obvious that had been recommended by your obgyn

sex.

both of you two hadn’t really explored in the topic of sex or anything of the sort, it was slightly awkward

you’re five days overdue now, which now you couldn’t even care

“please..! they said it works, even our ob said so!”

he is so cautious about this, but begrudgingly decides to proceed with this idea

he’s so sweet 🥺 but maybe a little too sweet because next thing you know is that two short hours later ur water breaks and u are in labor!!!!

both of you are vv nervous

his hyungs are right there to calm him down, asking you if ur okay and if u need anything

they rly adore their lil minnies baby mama & their lil nephew

seungmin is big daddy deffo

he’s so attached to u 🥺 it hurts to see u in so much pain and he can’t do much to take it away, but he will kiss ur forehead and wipe ur tears away

he personally finds u so angelic as u are quite literally coated in sweat and nearly breaking his hand

it’s finally over, you and seungmin both turning to the tiny baby that just came into the world, both of u crying while laughing at the beet red baby

theres your little baby boy in your arms, squirming at the new coldness and trying to move around in the blanket

all of the boys come in, excited to meet the baby

in amazement you made this adorable, small baby after one night

this experience was everything and more to you both, so glad you weren’t as careful one night and now had the greatest gift given to you: your small son who slept soundly in your arms

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