#no spoilers for my fic lol

[augureysfeather]

Headcanon time - James S. Potter and thestrals

In CC, Part I, Act I, Scene II, James teases Albus with the existence of thestrals. Now, this could be simply that – James teasing his younger brother. But what if James actually can see thestrals? What in Merlin’s wisdom teeth extraction has happened that this ~13 year old boy has witnessed death?!

I was then reminded that his father is Harry Potter, a high-ranking Auror, who likely has to make life-or-death decisions at his job, nevermind that his job in general is extremely dangerous.

….imagine it’s “bring your kids to work”-day and this is the day one of your co-workers dies on the job…

[mapletine]

a piece based off @/briarforger on twt’s fic the end of desire!! the fic was sincerely so beautifully written and thistle’s section made me turn into a small pathetic puddle please please please go and read it, it is truly a stunning work i can’t recommend it enough

all text on the image are direct quotes!! created and posted with permission from the author <3

[lizardkingeliot]

Take us back to the beginning, if you will, of this story of butchery.

[one-chaotic-neautral]

Arcane ships ranked, for fun

The main ships and some rarepairs I've found, I like pretty much everything in the first 4 rows. I probably missed some but idk what they are and I'm too lazy to add more rn.

feel free to add your thoughts or ships but again its just for funsies :)

[rrogueamendiares]

i just wanted to hold you in my arms

[dekupalace]

hi isatheads. is this anything

[hotshotsxyz]

beer & apologies

(buddie) (722 words) (7x04 coda)

It’s late, later than any reasonable person would show up on a friend’s doorstep, but Buck’s got this bright, warm feeling in his chest and all he wants to do is apologize so he can share it. For a split second he thinks about knocking, but that feels a little too much like going backwards. Instead, he lets himself in and hangs his key on the hook.

“Eddie,” he calls quietly into the still house.

“Kitchen.” The reply is soft, easy, like Eddie was expecting him.

Buck steps into the room and holds up the beer he brought.

Eddie looks up at him and grins, soft and warm in the glow of the lamplight. “What’s that for?”

“This is ‘sorry for acting like a teenager and spraining your ankle’ beer,” Buck says, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Seriously, I’m sorry.”

Eddie sighs and pushes an empty chair back from the table with his foot, gesturing for Buck to sit. “I’m sorry too,” he says.

“No, no, you don’t—" Buck starts.

“Yeah, I do,” Eddie interrupts with a wry grin. “You should definitely be sorry-er, though, so I’ll take the beer.”

Buck snorts and sits, setting the six pack on the table between them.

“We didn’t—well, I didn’t…”

“I know,” Buck says. “I was just—”

“I know,” Eddie says softly.

A few, quiet moments pass, and it’s comfortable, exactly what Buck was missing the last couple of days.

“Hey,” Eddie says suddenly, sitting up a little straighter, “at least now I know why you always said no to basketball.” He smiles, loose and just a tiny bit mischievous.

Buck splutters. “What? No! I wasn’t that bad,” he protests.

Eddie lifts his injured ankle and raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, well maybe, but—”

“Uh-uh,” Eddie says, “no buts. You haven many talents, Buck, but basketball isn’t one of them.”

Buck ducks his head and grins. “Maybe I’ll get Tommy to teach me, then I can beat you without playing dirty.” Saying Tommy’s name out loud gives birth to a few giddy butterflies in his stomach.

“You two make up?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah,” Buck says. “He uh—texted me.” The butterflies turn to little rocks.

“Good,” Eddie says, “that’s good.” He grabs a beer and twists the top off. “I really think you guys will get along, if you give him a chance.”

“We, um. Yeah. We probably will.” Buck grabs a beer of his own and stares at the label.

He doesn’t—he didn’t mean to lie. It just kind of… came out. Which, it’s Eddie. Buck knows he could tell him exactly what happened, right now, and it’d be fine. It’d be completely fine because it’s Eddie and he knows Eddie would be cool about it, probably even happy for him! But when he goes to open his mouth it just. Doesn’t.

“How’s—uh. How’s Marisol?” he asks instead, tripping over his words.

Eddie shrugs. “She’s fine, same as always. Apparently Christopher got her to play Fortnite, which, according to him, was a disaster.”

Buck laughs, shaking his head. “That kid,” he says softly.

“That kid,” Eddie agrees. He takes another swig of beer and sits back.

“Hey, wait,” Buck says suddenly. He lurches forward and snags the bottle out of Eddie’s hand. “You can’t have this, you’re on pain killers.”

“It’s my apology beer!” Eddie protests.

“Nope, two sips is plenty. I can’t hurt your ankle and your liver on the same day.”

“It’s after midnight, it’s tomorrow,” Eddie pouts. “Give it.” He makes a halfhearted attempt to grab it back, but Buck holds the beer aloft.

“Nuh-uh, absolutely not,” Buck says. “You can drink your apology beer this weekend.”

“My apology beer is going to be flat and stale,” Eddie replies, unimpressed.

Buck rolls his eyes. “I’ll buy you a new apology beer, alright?”

“Promises, promises.”

“I will!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie laughs. “You better. Want to bring it over on Saturday? We can watch the game.”

Buck’s grin falters a little bit, even as that warm feeling bubbles up in his chest all over again. “I uh- can’t, sorry.”

“What, you got a hot date or something?” Eddie asks with a laugh.

Buck takes a long swallow from the beer he stole from Eddie. “Yeah, something,” he says with a hollow laugh.

He feels like a liar.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Lol no but like what if... glances down at pitch notecards... tosses them aside and pulls out the pepe silvia board.

Okay, so picture this: Buck's looking to date. It's going to be a rebound, but he's trying to convince himself it's not a rebound. Is he still baking? Sure. But that's just - that's just his thing now, okay? He bakes. And thinks about Tommy. But he's trying not to, so he's trying to date.

And at first, he seems to have this very sweet meet-cute with a girl. She seems nice. It feels like a chance encounter. They decide to go out on a date.

But wait.

The audience knows who that woman is.

It's the serial killer.

And it starts a few months earlier with Tommy.

Tommy fucking Kinard, kidnapped by this woman, somehow fumbling his way to his phone. And he doesn't call 9-1-1. Cell service is abysmal. No, he tries to text Buck.

Evan.

He tries to tell him sorry and that he loves Evan, only for the serial killer to catch him.

And.

Gets confused by why he tried to text this Evan guy instead of calling 9-1-1.

Tommy finds himself telling the story of his entire six-month romance with one Evan "Buck" Buckley, thinking this might be the last time he'll ever be able to talk about the man he loves.

And the love. The passion. The sweetness. The domesticity. The excitement. The yearning.

It captivates the serial killer.

So much so that.

The serial killer?

She wants that for her own.

She wants that story to be hers but with a happy ending.

She falls in love with the idea of the romcom that Tommy had with this Evan Buckley guy.

And what seems to be cutesy is flipped and you get a gender swapped You scenario - this woman stalking and forcing happy accidents so that she might get to her goal of dating Buck.

There's a comedy and a horror to this woman forcing all the stars to align for her; to take all the romance that Tommy had and try to reverse engineer it into this potential relationship with Evan. It's distorted in the framework of some Crazy Ex-Girlfriend delusion.

And while she's seemingly proud of what she's doing, well, something doesn't quite feel right to Evan. They seem to have so much in common. There seem to be all these beats that make him feel cared for by her.

But.

But something feels slightly off; like someone moved everything one inch to the left. And he's not sure why it's feeling like that. And he's not sure why half the time it just feels like something he would do with Tommy.

And Buck, despite himself, can't stop goddamn baking.

Things start to unravel at the seams. And the serial killer has to get Maddie out of the way after Maddie notices something suspicious, leaving Maddie with Tommy in her secret underground cage.

Tommy and Maddie, stuck together in the cage, get to talking. Tommy basically tells Maddie that he's been in the cage since he bubbled Evan - which had been a few months ago. A little before the girl Buck is currently dating, the serial killer, started pursuing Buck... with insider knowledge unknowingly at first by Tommy.

After Maddie and Tommy debrief each other, they devise a plan to get out of the cage.

Meanwhile, the perfect romcom cutesy homemade romantic dinner date that the serial killer is trying to have with Buck is not really going as planned. She's hitting all the right beats, goddammit, it's just Buck.

Buck is not playing his part right and it's messing up the fantasy.

He's sad. He's admitting that the dinner feels a lot like these dinners he had with his ex (dinners he had with Tommy, who the serial killer got the idea from in the first place). He apologizes and starts talking about how he's really not over his ex.

Also, his sister hasn't been messaging back and he's worried that she might have run away again; might be suffering a bout of depression. Or maybe he's just been too annoying lately and she's been purposefully ignoring his texts the last day or so.

And.

All of that.

Pisses the serial killer off.

Now it's a race against time as the serial killer, disillusioned with Buck, decides he should be her next victim - she already partially drugged him with the wine.

And there's a difference between Buck actively fighting off and running from this serial killer as the drugs kick in and the serial killer still seeing the romcom delusion with a slasher twist to it - similar to Harley Quinn's visions in The Suicide Squad.

Meanwhile, Tommy and Maddie are hearing the sounds of the dinner upstairs going awry and are quickly doing their best to break out of the cage they were in - and they do!

They burst out of the basement, surprising both Buck and the serial killer as Tommy tackles her and Maddie checks if Buck is okay since he is definitely drugged.

Maddie makes a crack about how she might be 9-1-1, but they should probably call the actual 9-1-1.

The serial killer is taken into custody and Tommy, Maddie, and Buck are all sent to get checked out.

At the hospital, Buck and Maddie talk about what happened. How Buck is stunned he didn't realize he was dating a serial killer. How Maddie put some pieces together because she recognized the screen on Tommy's phone at the serial killer's house - a picture of Buck and Tommy at Billy Boils' grave. Maddie has a little heart-to-heart with Evan about what she and Tommy talked about and suggests that maybe it would be okay to at least visit Tommy.

Buck is heading to visit Tommy in his room, but Tommy actually finds Buck first. Tommy makes a crack about being in the 118 wing. Tommy talks about getting kidnapped. Thinking he was going to die. Realizing he still had his phone on him, but only wanting to text Buck that he loved Buck and that he was sorry while he still had the chance.

Because he didn't think that he could make a call from the basement to 9-1-1 with the room seemingly being a cell service dead spot. And at least if he typed out that he loved Buck and that he was sorry, that might get to Buck if his cell phone got out of the room.

That was the bubbling.

But then the serial killer caught him in the act.

And in a depression sink, thinking that there was no way out and that he was going to die, he found himself answering her question to him - why text Evan if he could have tried calling 9-1-1?

Tommy apologizes profusely. He had never expected the woman would try to use that information to date Evan. He hates that he told her his story in such a way that she wanted to basically crawl into his metaphorical skin and play tourist in the relationship Tommy realized he regretted ending because he was too scared of it hurting him. And Tommy understands if Evan never wants to see him again, but he still loves Evan and wants to make it work.

Buck confesses that his relationship with the serial killer had always felt weird and with this information, he realizes it's because it was everything he wanted except the person he wanted it to be with - Tommy. That every time he wanted to text Tommy, he would bake, and god, Buck had been baking up a storm. He had baked so much he was giving away loaves. He was still baking. He had baked earlier that day.

Buck want this. And Tommy wants this. But they both understand how hurtful the last breakup was. They acknowledge where the problems might be. They decide to not only go by Buck's pace, but by Tommy's pace too. To try to be more open about how they feel. Try to make this work.

Because they love each other. And they were always going to find each other again in the end.

[wikiangela]

wanna end all my days with talking to you

rating: G words: 1.8k

[also on Ao3]

Buck’s about to get in the engine with his team to ride back to the station, change, and get home to hopefully pass out for the next ten hours – when he thinks he hears a familiar voice among the usual noise of the scene, chatter, yelling, trucks slowly starting to drive away. He stops with one leg on the step and looks around. 

“Evan!” He hears again, this time more clearly, and feels the heavy knot in his chest that’s been there the whole day unfold, a wave of relief and calm crashing over him as he sees the face to match the voice. Tommy walks from the crowd, and maybe Buck’s really tired, but he swears his boyfriend glows among everyone else, getting his attention right away. He’s in his turnouts, hair tousled, a worried look on his face mixed with relief. He’s such a sight for sore eyes, Buck wants to drown in his arms right now. “Hey,” Tommy adds as he gets closer, eyes roaming over Buck’s body. “Just wanted to catch you before you left. You okay?” He asks, and Buck finally turns around, both legs back on the ground. 

“Hi, Tommy!” He hears Chimney say as he passes them to get on the truck, before Buck can even open his mouth.

“Hey, Howie.” Tommy responds, eyes not leaving Buck. Chim disappears, taking his place with Eddie and Hen who are already waiting inside, ready to leave. Buck thinks they can spare a couple minutes, though.

“Tommy.” Buck whispers, taking a step towards his boyfriend. Tommy’s hands immediately reach for him. “What are you doing here? I thought this was your day off?” He asks, arms wrapping around Tommy’s waist, not caring that they’re technically still at work. He’s had a day, he almost killed his current Captain, they almost lost Athena, he was almost run over by multiple cars- it’s been a day. 

“Got called in. I don’t know if you heard but we had a pretty wild all-hands-on-deck situation on the freeway.” He says with a teasing smirk, hands settling on Buck’s waist. Their warmth is so nice and grounding, and Buck leans a little further into him. 

“Hm, it rings a bell. A plane landing, right?” He continues, feeling a little silly and a lot giddy, like any time he’s with Tommy. He just makes him feel so carefree, even after a stressful day like today, before even having time to decompress. 

“Yeah, that one. Crazy, right? I hear my boyfriend was very involved. Had to see it with my own eyes. And make sure he’s alright.” His eyes scan over Buck’s face. “You alright?”

“I’m fine, baby.” Buck smiles pulling Tommy a little closer to himself. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I wasn’t the one right here at the forefront of everything.” Tommy raises an eyebrow, one of his hands coming up to cup Buck’s face. He leans into the touch, not able to keep in a content sigh. All he can think about is getting home, cuddling up next to Tommy in bed, and soaking up his warmth as he falls asleep. 

“How did you know I was? It could’ve been anyone from any station.” Buck says, since it wasn’t public knowledge who exactly was flying the plane, but they both know the answer.

“Who else but the 118 would have this much bad luck.” He shakes his head, and his tone goes for joking, but it does crack a little, worry seeping through. 

“Technically, it was Athena. Again.” Buck points out, silently begging the universe to please let Bobby and Athena have a break now, after the cruiseship and now this, they really deserve to rest and not worry about each other’s lives. “We just came to help.” 

“You were still heavily involved, weren’t you?” Tommy asks and Buck nods. “So, my point stands.”

“Bobby and I stole a truck.” Buck blurts out. He knows now is not the time, but he just wants to tell Tommy every single thing that happened, and every single thought in his head. 

“You what?” Tommy eyebrows shoot up.

“Well, we borrowed it- Actually I have a lot to tell you. It’s been a crazy day. Even before all this,” he gestures towards the plane. Tommy frowns, curiosity etched in his face. 

“I can’t wait to hear all about it.” He says with a smile, and then from a distance they vaguely hear someone call his last name. Tommy glances back towards the 217 trucks, probably waiting on him now. Before he can say that he has to go, though, Buck speaks up again.

“Oh, and I rode a motorcycle!” He says excitedly and grins, and sees Tommy’s expression turn into something fond but still confused, probably wondering how it all connects, and maybe where Buck got a motorcycle in the first place. Buck can’t wait to tell him everything that happened today. He’s avoiding mentioning this morning, back at the station, leaving it for later, he doesn’t want to bring it up, bring him up just yet. Not when they’re all still on the high from the airplane landing being very successful, considering their chances. Unpleasant stuff – like Buck’s guilt and confusion about what his intent was – can wait for later, when they’re home, and they have time for him to spiral and confide in his man.

“You’re so adorable.” Tommy just says, and glances to the sides for a second, before leaning in to chastely press his lips against Buck’s, and it’s over way too quickly, Buck pulling him back in, deepening the kiss. He feels Tommy smile and then he’s kissing him just as eagerly. Before he knows it, he’s being pressed against the cold metal of the engine behind him, his boyfriend’s big, warm body right against his, and for a few seconds they just get lost in each other. What pulls him out is his team – some teasing cheers and whooping and even whistling, and a couple joking comments about being inappropriate in the workplace (he thinks it’s Chim who said that, but it’s all a blur – besides, technically they’re on the freeway, so, not really the workplace, so Buck will kiss his boyfriend if he wants to). 

He hears himself whining in protest when Tommy starts pulling away, and gets a chuckle in response that he feels in his own chest. 

“I’m sorry, but I gotta go now. My team’s waiting.” Tommy sounds regretful, at least. Buck still pouts. But now he can hear Tommy’s co-workers yell his name, and some barely audible jokes and teasing, likely having seen them make out. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” Tommy asks, thumb caressing Buck’s cheekbone. Buck doesn’t want to let him go. He wants to continue their making out, and he wants to talk to Tommy, tell him all about his crazy day, and of course he wants to hear about Tommy’s day, what he was doing before he got called in, and everything that happened after, too. Lately those conversations have become some of Buck’s favorites. He loves talking to Tommy, he loves that he always listens, so attentive and engaged, and visibly enjoying Buck’s rambling. And he loves listening to Tommy, too, his gorgeous voice, and those dry jokes Buck fell in love with that first night they met. They could talk about anything, their days, the weather, some deep personal stuff, Buck loves it all. 

“Tonight.” He decides, not sure if he can handle not seeing Tommy as soon as possible. He knows it’s late, and after the day they had, they’re both probably ready to get in bed and crash, but he just doesn’t want to be without Tommy right now. It sounds silly even just in his own head, but he misses him so much every second they’re apart. He guesses it’s that honeymoon period, but maybe it’s also the fact that in the short time they’ve been dating, Tommy has become a safe space for him, a shoulder to lean on, always there, strong and sturdy, to support him whenever and however he needs. He hopes he’s the same for Tommy. He tries his best, at least. “I’ll get my stuff at the station and come over. If that’s okay?” He asks to make sure, just in case, a seed of doubt seeping in. He doesn't want to overstep or assume. But he should’ve known better, Tommy never says no to seeing him.

“Of course it’s okay.” He smiles, leaning back in for one more sweet kiss. “In the meantime, please don’t get into any more trouble tonight. Especially the life-or-death kind,” he half-jokes, and Buck kind of wants to remind him that it wasn’t his life that was in danger this time, but then again, it was Athena, which means Bobby, which means Buck and the entire 118 ready to follow them into any trouble. So, yeah, he gets Tommy’s worry.

“Can’t really promise that. Don’t wanna tempt the universe,” he shrugs. Tommy chuckles lightly. “But I’ll try.”

“Just get to me in one piece,” he shakes his head, taking a step away. It takes everything in Buck not to follow and squeeze himself into a 217 truck just to be with Tommy for a while more. But he’ll see him soon. Around an hour if they leave now. Maybe a little more with the traffic, the freeway being closed now probably causing some issues. But tonight.

“I will. I’ll see you soon.” He answers, and not for the first time the three little words he desperately wants to say try to force themselves onto his tongue. On one hand, there’s no time to waste, life is short, and especially with their profession, and his luck. But on the other hand, he doesn’t want them to come out like this, while he’s still buzzing with adrenaline, and it might be easy to think it’s a heat of the moment thing. He wants to say it in a quiet moment, at home, just the two of them, putting all the feelings and intention behind it, really letting Tommy know how serious and genuine he is about it. 

Tommy is his person. The one he wants to go home to at the end of the day – whether an uneventful one, or full of chaos and danger, like tonight. He’s the one Buck wants to talk to for hours and hours, about everything and nothing, spill his every thought. The one he wants to wake up to and fall asleep with. The one he wants to love for the rest of his life. 

He can’t stop smiling as he takes a second to watch as Tommy walks away, turns around to flash Buck one more adorable smile, before disappearing in the sea of people. Then, with a shout to hurry up from Eddie, Buck finally turns back to the truck and climbs in. He’s so ready for this day to be over. And what better way to end it than in the arms of his love, while telling him about his crazy day? They definitely need to hurry up and get back to the station, Buck has places to be. Or, one place specifically, the one he already secretly calls home. 

[also on Ao3]

[17magpiesinatrenchcoat]

solanum my beloved who am I if not drawing my favourite characters looking dramatic

reblogs very appreciated🫶🫶🫶

THE ROT CONTINUES!! yes this is me rambling hiiiiiii so I was looking for references on pinterest for my quantum exchange thing drawing but then I saw the most perfect one for solanum and was like I Must Draw This Immediately Or I Will Die so here we are lol,, the deadline approaches but I have my priorities straight clearly

I suppose this is my current shading style mmmyes very fun but takes AGES

I am actually very happy with this which is rare;; this has been such a terrible year for art for me :(( I hope next year can be better and I can draw more of my fav guys🫶🫶🫶

[girl-of-stupidology]

My first happy Werner Wednesday 🥰🥰 (It’s Saturday today.)

(I cannot get Chappel’s VMAs Good Luck Babe out of my head so I’m making it official that every time I see Werner and Andreas while playing, it’s their song.)

[larothoughts]

shi wudu thoughts (tgcf spoilers)

ok so i don't look into fan stuff until after i finish a series and for some reason i keep having wildly different impressions of events than other people?? maybe i just can't read lol

for example: i always thought the reason shi wudu strangled shi qingxuan was to force he xuan to make the choice instead of sqx.

like, there this asshole is torturing sqx, forcing him to pick between two terrible options as a twisted way of bringing sqx down to he xuan and shi wudu's level. he wanted to make the only innocent party in this fiasco dirty his hands by choosing, because until now swd had always shielded sqx. he never had to face the two-men-one-cup problem as swd always bore the guilt of choice for the both of them. sqx's naive optimism (paid for by he xuan's tragedy) is therefore both infuriating and endearing to he xuan. and after days of trying to get sqx to not interfere, he finally decides that sqx must suffer for his ignorance.

so there he xuan is menacing the two of them: sqx crying and having a meltdown and still trying to find a way out of this with both his brother and best friend intact. swd powerless and at he xuan's mercy, snapping at sqx to pull himself together. i know the common interpretation is very face value: that swd would rather he and sqx die than be cursed to wander around with horrible fates.

i just find it more interesting to consider that swd's last act successfully took the choice out of sqx's hands.

my assumption when reading was that swd did not actually want sqx to die. he simply knew the best way to keep sqx from choosing was to force he xuan to kill swd first. remember, swd has watched over sqx and 'ming yi' for centuries at this point. these last few days have also made him aware of how he xuan consistently protects sqx even now. the best way to get him to abandon his plan and kill swd outright, then, is to threaten one of the few things he xuan still seems to care about: sqx's life.

swd's sudden beheading achieved everything he wanted: sqx spared the guilt and regret of having to make one choice over the other; swd cemented in the role of the ultimate villain even to his brother by his attempted fraticide; and the last leg of he xuan's plan derailed. even better, it was a sign to he xuan that shi wudu knew.

the main takeaway i got from the shi brothers' backstory was that swd would do literally anything to keep his brother safe. maybe that's why i figured the only way he'd try to strangle sqx to death was if he was absolutely sure he xuan would kill him before he succeeded. it was swd's final fuck you to he xuan, forcing him acknowledge the steep price of his revenge: his relationship with sqx, and the affection shi wudu knows he still holds for him.

[chronologically-challenged]

I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."

[vorchagirl]

Bellara: You know Rook, if you hook up with Lucanis it'll be pretty kinky!

Rook: ...why?

Bellara: Well, he has a demon inside of him, so technically you'd be having a threesome...

Rook: 😳

Spite: What is. A THREESOME?

Lucanis: 😨 I'll tell you later...

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[glorious-spoon]

to loosen his grip [9-1-1 | Buck/Eddie]

~1k words | eddie & tommy; pre-relationship eddie/buck

spec fic for 7x04

-

The thing is, Eddie's not stupid.

Eddie's not stupid, and Buck's about as subtle as a brick to the face on a good day. He can't help it. Everything he's feeling comes spilling out of him; keeping it inside seems as impossible for him as holding the tide back with a leaky sieve. It's not something Eddie relates to that much, honestly. If anything, he's got the opposite problem. He crushes everything he's feeling into a tight little knot and holds onto it with white knuckles until he can't hold on anymore. It lost him Shannon—would have lost him Shannon even if she'd lived—and it nearly lost him both his job and his sanity in the end. He's still learning how to loosen his grip.

Buck still needs to learn how to get a grip, like, at all.

So yeah, Eddie knows. Not right away; he doesn't really think anything of it when he picks Tommy up from the hanger and Buck is there. In the truck, he watches Buck's receding figure in the rearview mirror for a moment before Tommy says, "Not trying to poach Evan from the 118, I promise."

He's laughing about it a little bit. Eddie scoffs and says, "Buck? You'd have to pry him out of that house before he'd go anywhere else."

He doesn't mention the lawsuit. That's water long under the bridge now, and it's not a time in his life he likes to think back on that much. But he knows it's true; Buck can say whatever he wants about keeping his options fluid, but when he finds people and a place he wants to keep, he hangs onto them.

Tommy is good company, anyway. It's something he's missed, since the Army: the easy camaraderie over beers, sitting in a shouting crowd in Vegas, shooting the shit in a bar afterward. Tommy's got a lift, and he brings his abuelo's Chevelle over, and it's an easy slide from that into a half-casual bout of muay thai, and Eddie has missed that, too: sparring just for fun, just for the hell of it, not for the money or because his demons were going to claw themselves out of his chest with bloody nails otherwise.

"See you've caught some lead," Tommy observes once they're done, bruised and a little breathless, shirtless on the bench in his garage. Eddie caps his Gatorade and glances up, and for a second he doesn't even know what Tommy is talking about until he nods at Eddie's right shoulder and asks, "That from overseas?"

Eddie touches the bullet scar, a long-healed dimple by now. It's not that noticeable anymore, at least from the front. The surgical scars from his thoracotomy are still more obvious, but even they've faded.

"Oh, no," he says. "I mean, yeah, I did, but this one was right here in L.A."

"Right, the sniper," Tommy agrees. "Shit. I remember seeing that Captain Nash caught a bullet. Didn't realize you were the other one from his house that got shot."

"Yeah, well." Eddie shrugs, uncapping his Gatorade again. "It was a long time ago."

He likes that, too. Talking about it with someone who never saw the bullet hole, only the scar. Talking about it with someone who's never had his blood in his mouth, who never knelt above him in a speeding truck and begged him to hang on.

He lied to Buck about it, because Buck's so close to it that he might as well have been shot too. It's easier like this, because Tommy isn't wounded by the memory; Tommy shrugs and asks if he wants to grab a pizza after this, and Eddie slings a towel over his shoulder and lets Tommy pull him to his feet, and they have pizza and a couple more beers, and it's easy. He's missed easy. He thinks he deserves to have something easy, for a change.

-

"I mean, I think it's great," Buck says, apropos of pretty much exactly nothing a couple of days later. "You can never have too many friends, you know?"

He's vibrating with that exact same anxious energy that Eddie remembers from his first day at the 118, when Buck seemed one wrong move away from pissing on the exercise equipment or maybe shoving him down the stairs. It awakens some puckish little part of Eddie that can't help but needle him. You're standing in the wrong light, man, as if he's ever in his life had an opinion about photography lighting, but it got Buck to bristle and snap like a wounded dog, all electric fury, and Eddie liked that, too, for reasons that he understands better now than he did back then.

So he shrugs, and he says lightly, "You know, it's like that thing when you meet somebody and you just click. You know what I mean?"

It's a jab, and not a very subtle one. He still remembers standing in the sunlight and listening to Buck tell him that Natalia saw him, after Eddie watched him hang there in the rain and felt his chest unmoving beneath his palms and sat through those endless hours in the fucking hospital waiting for him to wake up. After Eddie brought him home, and listened to his quiet confession in his kitchen, and tried as well as he knew how to hold Buck's still-beating heart gently.

But sure. Natalia saw him. For all of four months, apparently.

He thinks he wants Buck to flinch and snap back, just a little. It's not the place for it—they're in the middle of a goddamn call—but he's stupid about Buck. Always has been.

Buck doesn't flinch. He sags instead, his mouth downturned, and he mutters, "Yeah. Yeah, I really do."

And it's something they should talk about, maybe, but then Ravi calls up for more slack, and there are other things to focus on for the time being.