#no pressure on author but like... i need it

[whatifitis]

♡ I See You - LN 4 ♡

Summary: Lando is under immense stress due to his career and he can't drag down his love with him. Will their relationship survive a horror movie?

Author's Note: This was requested and as soon as I saw it, I was excited to start it and I had so many ideas for this so I hope y'all enjoy it!

WC: 6k+ with some instagram posts

CW: poor mental health, a bit of angst, a kiss here and there, happy ending

-=+=-

479,271 likes

f1 Just one lap could’ve made all the difference for Lando’s race 😣

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User32 Lando needs to stop thinking he ‘should’ve won’ it’s starting to seem a little entitled.. The two ahead of him have 165 wins between them

User33 They completely ruined Oscar’s race

User34 the only thing he brings to McLaren and F1 is shame

User35 Geez people in the comments are so quick to say hateful things but don’t think about how their words hurt, lando is pressuring himself into doing good and yall just wanna hate on him at any chance you get

-=+=-

Liked by bestieusername and others

f1gossip sources close to the couple are saying that Lando Norris and Y/n L/n have split after just 7 months together

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User22 she was just one of the girls he’ll date for like a summer then leave when he’s bored. Can’t wait to see who the next slut is

User67 she lost color in her face since she’s been with him, glad she finally knows her worth

User54 she looked so bored recently, and i mean it’s her right since he practically love bombed her

-=+=-

“I can’t break you when I’m breaking.” - was all you heard before everything went silent. 

You and Lando had been together for about 7 months, not all of which was rainbows and daisies. 

When you first met, it was like stepping into the sun again after having spent so long in the dark. You had your fair share of heartaches before Lando. It was hard for you to give in to him at first, but after a few weeks, you gave in and you’re grateful for giving not only him, but yourself a chance. 

You knew what you were getting into when you started dating him. You knew he was a driver in F1 and that his fanbase could be quite protective of him. You also were aware of his crazy schedule with the races and meetings and training. Lando also told you about how he and his ex had to break up due to the invasion of privacy that was experienced, and how his ex simply couldn’t do it anymore, which is more than understandable. But even with every warning he gave you, you still stayed. 

These past few weeks have been chaotic though. Lando is a strong contender for the WDC this year against Max and there’s pressure and eyes all around him. You’ve watched as the media berated him for weeks and weeks, never letting up. Everyone has high expectations of him and it’s slowly destroying him, even if he can’t see it yet. 

You won’t lie, it has indeed had an impact on your guys’ relationship. Not only is distance and time difference straining you two, but the constant analysis and comments from the media have taken a toll. 

It was obvious to you that Lando would be gone for most weeks out of the year, but now, even when he is home, he’s not fully there. It’s like he’s a ghost in his own home, his own body. 

“You’re not breaking me” - you tell him. But you both know you’re lying. As much as you may love him, his distance has been something that has destroyed you. You started to wonder what you were doing wrong, how could you fix this? 

“I am, and it’s hurting me so much that I’m doing this to you when you don’t deserve all this shit. You deserve so much more. You deserve all the good things in life, like seeing your partner for more than a week, going to the grocery store without being stalked by fans, having someone who can be there for you, someone who won’t drag you down.” he says, tears streaming down his face. His hands are shaking at the thought of losing you, but he knows he loves you too much to let you down. He’s completely broken now. His heart aches and sinks every time he thinks about how you’re being treated. He doesn’t want to be the person who takes your sparkle, who makes you feel less of a person. 

“You’re not. I’m fine. We’re fine, love. I can handle it, all the shit that’s getting thrown at us. We can survive this horror movie.” you try to convince him… convince yourself, as tears are now streaming down your face as well. 

“We can’t. I’m not the way I was, I’m not the same person I was when we met.” you watch as he takes a shaky breath in, trying to compose himself, “All I ever wanted was to drive and race in Formula 1. But now that I have it, it doesn’t feel enough. As soon as I joined, so much pressure was put on me to be the best. When I started, the car was shit, so I helped make it better, and I did. I feel like all I’m doing is trying and trying to please everyone and to be who they want me to be, but it’s so hard. And this isn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to race and have fun, not drive myself to the point of destruction. I don’t want to be the machine that the team, media, and fans want me, and expect me to be. I feel like I’m giving my all to the team and to the sport but it’s not enough and it’ll never be enough. I feel like I’m stuck and I can’t get out no matter what I do. The one thing I wanted all my life, and now it’s mine. But it feels like I’m theirs.” he lets out an ironic laugh. 

You slowly walk to him, moving to hold his hands in yours. Without missing a beat, one of your hands gently lifts his chin, making his eyes connect with yours. 

“They’re feeding you to the wolves and it’s unfair. They cheer your name until the lights go out, then they throw you to the side and disregard you till the next time they need you. They’re not fair to you and it’s draining you. You have a look that I can’t recognize. You used to love this sport with all your heart but now it’s the thing that’s killing you.”

“But I need to keep going. I need to prove that I can be what they want. I need to prove that I’m not just some spoiled, ignorant kid who paid his way to this place. I need to show that I earned my right to be here and to have this seat.” he tries to explain. 

“I understand that, Lan. But we need to find a better way to handle all this. It’s clearly taking a toll on you and your health. It’s been a long year. You’re constantly watched and analyzed, with people documenting your every move to create sickening plots for their stories of you, of us. They expect so much, so you’re expected to follow, but that’s not how it’s supposed to work.” He pulls back from you, removing his hands from yours and taking steps back. You watch as he begins to pace the room, shaking his head as he speaks. 

“To know me is to hate me, and to hate what I’ve become. It’s to watch me fail over and over again, and I can’t keep doing this to you. I can’t let you hold my hand in yours anymore.” he says as he stops in front of you, trying his best to refrain from spilling more tears but it’s merely impossible. His biggest fear is coming into fruition, he’s losing you. He’s letting you go. He wanted to let you out of this mess before it was too far gone for you to come back to life. You gave him all of your best self and your endless empathy. 

“What are you saying, Lan?” you barely let out as a whisper, afraid of the answer. 

“I’m letting you go. I know I’m gonna sound like an asshole but I have to do this. All this shit is just gonna hurt you more. You can’t do this to yourself. It’s killing me to know I’m just bringing you down with me.” he practically pleads. 

“I stay because I want to, not because I feel forced to or like I have to. I do it because I love you.” your voice cracks with the last bit. 

“I’m sorry for all this. I care about you a lot and I hope everything goes well. I hope you get everything you could ever want. I’m sorry for all the mess.”

“Don’t be sorry. You are worth all of the shit. But can you please let me stay?” you beg through tears.

His lips are quivering, tear stains paint his face as he breaks himself in two. Cause truthfully, you will always hold a part of him. Through all the obstacles and shit, you stuck by him. 

“Goodbye, y/n.” is all he says before he turns his back on you, walking out the door. 

He didn’t even wait for your response, leaving as soon as he could because he knew if he stayed any longer, he wouldn’t have followed through with the breakup. 

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, in the middle of your living room. You had to watch the person you thought you would marry, walk out the door. You thought he was your forever. You shared your dreams with each other, planned out the house you two would grow old in. The house where you would have rocking chairs on the front porch where the two of you would watch the neighborhood kids run by, yelling at them to stay off the lawn. What dreams those were, dreams that would remain just that, dreams. 

For a while after the breakup, all you did was lie in bed either sleeping the days away or doom scrolling on social media. It got so bad that your roommate/best friend had to physically drag you out of bed after a week of letting you rot in it.

The first day of what your best friend liked to call “post breakup, glow up”, you guys decided to just have a self care day where you took it easy and ordered in food and did face masks while coloring in some books. 

It was fun and a nice distraction until your phone dinged. The look on your face scared your best friend so she looked over your shoulder to see who it was. Lando’s name was displayed along with a message, “Hey, how you been?”. 

Was this how exes interacted after a breakup? Typically after the breakups you’ve experienced, there was no contact. What’s Lando up to? You knew he didn’t keep in contact with any of his exes after their break ups, so why was he texting you? 

When you snap back to reality, your friend is giving you a concerned look, wanting to know what was going through your head so she could help in the best way possible. 

“Should I text him back?” You asked.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, babe. He still hurt you towards the end of the relationship, although not intentionally, but it still fucked you up a bit. I don’t want you to lose the progress you’ve made.”

“Yeah, I understand. I won’t text him back then.” You tell her as you turn off your phone and throw it to the side, picking up your marker and starting coloring again. 

You lied. You ended up texting him back later that night once you were back in bed, ready to end the night with what hopefully would be a decent sleep. 

You and Lando exchanged a few texts, mainly just catching up and seeing how the other was. You weren’t gonna lie, it felt nice to talk to him again. But what was this gonna lead to? Hopefully getting back together, but what are the odds? 

The occasional text conversations took place over the course of a few weeks. Lando knew he shouldn’t have been texting you, but he couldn’t help himself. The weeks following the break up, he went back and forth on whether he regretted it or not. He wondered if it was the best thing to do. 

Every day, he saw you in everything he saw or did. When he goes to get coffee, he swears he can still hear you laughing at the mustache of foam that would appear on his face after his first sip of coffee. 

When he’s outside in the park for a run, he’s reminded of you when he sees the rabbits hiding in the bushes. You always used to squeal out of joy and cuteness from the rabbits, even if you’d already seen them about 20 times prior. 

Every song, every film, every color reminded him of you. He thought about you every single day, wondering what you were doing and how you were. He even went as far as stalking your Spotify profile. He knew you made playlists for everything and he would watch your listening activity to see what mood you were in. 

He wasn’t surprised when he saw you listening to Taylor Swift and Gracie Abrams for hours on end. Those two were your go to sad girls. But he was surprised when none of the songs were about how shit the guy was. All the songs you were listening to were about regretting breakups and just missing someone. 

The night he texted you for the first time since the breakup, he had been gaming with Max and a few of his other friends, trying to take his mind off things. 

He didn't know what he texted you, he just did. He didn’t even have a plan for what he wanted to say. It turned out all right in the end though. You guys had a peaceful conversation and shared a laugh or two, for which he was grateful. 

Maybe you guys could remain friends? 

-=+=-

Liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, and others

y/n_l/n i’m on my knees at the altar, baby

Asking God to wash you from my soul

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User4 he’s a waste of running mascara, you’re on to greater things 

alexandrasaintmeux the most beautiful girl in the world

User97 ummm, what’s lando doing in the likes?! Didn’t they break up…

User23 she was a fool for thinking she could be enough for him

User10 lando leave the poor girl alone, you’ve done enough damage 

-=+=-

Everytime he texted you, you came back. He’d ask to try again and you’d say yes. You’d come back to his place and spend nights there, only for him to break things off again. He keeps saying he can fix it and do better. But then he sends you on your own again. He keeps telling you how much he loves you, only to tell you he’s not good enough for you and that you should break up, again. 

For two months, the two of you went back and forth. You would break up one week then get back together the next. It felt like a game that you kept losing and you were tired of it. 

It felt like you were always taking one step forward and two steps back. Now you know, none of this is fair to you. You keep trying to give him your all, trying to be there for him when he needs it but he still doesn’t change. 

You know you’re not falling out of love for him. But you think you have to fully let him go now. Do what he did to you to protect you, but actually block him out after. Instead of stringing him along like he did to you. 

It’s a week before the Belgium GP so it’s now or never. 

You asked Lando to meet you in your shared hotel room as the Hungarian GP just ended earlier. He’d gotten P2 which is amazing. But he still wasn’t entirely happy with his performance as he thinks he could’ve done better. The team thinks he should’ve gotten P1 and that it would’ve helped gain more points for the championship. 

You would’ve preferred to pick a better time to do this, but there is no other time, at least anytime soon. But you don’t want to be stuck here forever, in this loop of false hope. 

When Lando gets back to your shared room, he finds you sitting on the edge of the bed, picking at the skin on your fingers. 

“Hey, stop doing that. It’s not good for you.” He gives you a smile as he takes off his shoes and meets you in the bed. As he sits next to you, he lands a kiss on the top of your head and then a kiss on your cheek before finally connecting your lips with his in a sweet, warm kiss. 

“You said you wanted to talk to me about something? What’s up? Everything alright?” He asks, a bit of concern laces his words. 

You take a deep breath and sit up straight, trying to gain the courage to follow through with your plan.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You say. Lando’s heart drops at your words. 

“What’d you mean?” He stutters a bit.

It takes everything in you to look him in the eye as you say “I’m breaking up with you, for good.”

“Oh.” Is all that comes out of his mouth. He’s turned his body forward, staring blankly at the wall as he processes this.

“I’m sorry, Lando. But it’s not fair to either of us. We keep stringing each other along. Hoping for something that’ll never happen. I’m tired. It feels like I’m the only one fighting for us.” 

Lando suddenly sucks in a breath of air, furrowing his eyebrows and turning his body to you before telling you “no”

“No? Lando, what do you mean no?”

“No, we’re not breaking up again.”

“You can’t just say no. I’m- I’m making this decision for the both of us. For our best interest, we have to break up.”

“No, I’m not having it. I’m not doing it. It’s you and me til the end.”

“Lando, please can we ju-“

“Nope.”

You sit there dumbfounded at what’s happening. Is he refusing a breakup like it’s a piece of fish? 

You sit there and stare at him for a hot minute before crossing your arms and asking “why?”

“Cause”, is all he says before he stands up and goes to take a shower. 

Ain’t no way. 

You’re so confused and amazed at what just happened. He really just denied a breakup. 

As Lando took his shower, you took this time to process what happened and how to go about this conversation again once he comes back. 

After about 15 minutes, Lando leaves the bathroom in fresh clothes and stands in front of you, “what’d you want for dinner?” 

“Did you disregard my breakup speech?” You stand and ask.

“Yes. Now, where’s the room service menu?” He asks as he pads around the room, genuinely looking for the room service menu. 

You bring your hands to your face and roughly rub your eyes to try and approach this correctly. 

“Lando, stop thinking about the menu for 5 seconds and look at me.”

He’s stopped dead in his tracks and looks at you innocently. 

This guy. 

His bottom lip begins to quiver and his eyes become glossed with tears. 

With a bit of rasp in his voice he tells you “We’re not breaking up. I can’t lose you again, I won’t do it. You’re the best thing I’ve ever had and pushing you away was awful. I missed your laugh, I missed your jokes, I missed your loose hairs all around the flat, I missed your snoring when I tried to sleep, I missed you. Please don’t go again.” 

Tears are streaming down his face as he begs you to stay. 

“Lando, we can’t keep doing the same shit over and over again. We break up one week then get back together the next. You tell me you’ll do better and you’ll fix things but nothing changes. You’re still under immense stress and letting people walk all over you. I don’t know how we can survive this anymore if you don’t try to change that.” 

You start to wonder if breaking up really is the best solution. You would still be sad about losing him and you would still constantly worry about him. He would still be stuck in this toxic place where everyone puts all their expectations on him. Everyone would still harass him and analyze his every move. What would breaking up really fix? 

“Please. I’m standing here trying to be honest. We’re a thousand miles away from the day that we started, and I’m still in love with you. I just wanna forget everything that’s come and gone cause I hate not being with you. The stars don’t shine as bright when you’re not here.”

Slowly, you walk up to him, reaching for the sides of his face and using your thumbs to wipe away some of his tears. He instinctively moves his hands to your hips, holding you as tight as he can, as if you’re water in his hands. You look him in the eyes and realize you love him too much to let him go. You two love each other too much to leave it like this. 

“Hey,” you say softly, “why don’t we do this? The Belgian GP is next week, right? You’ll go do that and I’ll go home for a bit. After the Belgian GP, I’ll meet you in Glastonbury, yeah? We’ll spend your break there and we’ll try and sort out whatever’s going on up here?” You ask as you gently tap the side of his head. 

All he can do is smile, grateful for you and your patience with his shit. He nods his head yes before pulling you closer and holding you tight, burying his face into your neck. 

With a deep breath, you feel Lando relax in your arms. 

“Thank you.” He whispers in your neck. He can’t believe he’s able to keep someone as special as you in his life, even with the war in his head. 

“We’ll be alright. We’re okay”, you don’t say anything else, just holding him closer, knowing it’s enough for him right now. Maybe you two could try to go back where you started. 

Lando booked a flight from Belgium to go back to his hometown almost immediately after the race. He just couldn’t bear being away from you for so long, especially after all the shit you guys have been through, especially after all the shit he put you through. 

You decided that since he’ll be landing quite late, the two of you would spend the night watching movies and eating some home cooked food. The beginning of the healing journey could start tomorrow. 

When he landed at the airport, he was greeted by you with a massive sign that said “Lando Norris - STD clinic emergency shuttle”. 

The amount of laughs that the sign got was a joy to you. Especially the laugh Lando had let out upon reading the sign. He knew you were gonna pull some shit like this, although he was surprised you didn’t wear scrubs to add to the bit. 

With a big warm hug, Lando finally felt like he could start to relax and let go, at least until the next race. 

The two of you made your way to your car, then headed back to a secluded airbnb that you had rented for the next few weeks. Although the two of you were more than welcome to stay with Lando’s family, the pair of you thought it would be best if Lando had a place with some real peace and quiet to be able to sort through his mind. 

During the drive to the airbnb, you put on a playlist that you had made for drives with Lando at the beginning of your relationship. It had been a while since you’d played it, so it was a pleasant surprise for him when he realized what playlist was playing after a few songs. 

“I forgot about this playlist. Missed it." He gives a soft smile. The one he used to have before all the chaos had been inflicted. You can tell this little break will definitely bring back at least a small piece of your Lando. 

“I did too. Found it the other day when I was clearing my playlists. I added a few more songs as well. I know we usually pick the songs for this playlist together but I thought it’d be nice. Hope you don’t mind.” you tell him, wondering if maybe he’d be upset that you messed with the playlist without him. 

“Nah. I like it. Like a bit of a surprise for me.” he says as he shrugs his shoulders. You smile as you look at him for a moment. Your boy is coming back to you, slowly but surely. 

“Oh, don’t speed here. There’s always this one fucking guy sitting in a corner, ready to give anyone and everyone a ticket.” he tells you as you turn onto a certain street. 

“You know every road in this county, don't you?” you tease, watching as he gets a bit shy. 

“Yeah, let’s just say he may or may not love to see me coming. He used to catch me speeding all the time and he gave me too many fucking tickets.” 

You just sit there and laugh at him. Of course the Formula 1 driver always gets caught speeding. 

Once you pull into the driveway for the airbnb, Lando is smiling, already getting out of the car and closing his eyes, breathing in the fresh air and taking it all in. He’s excited and grateful for this break from the races. As much as he does enjoy the actual racing, all the other factors were pushing him to his breaking point. The sun was collapsing but he didn’t realize until everything came crashing down all at once. 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when you close the car door. He starts moving to the trunk of the car to pull out his luggage. You wait by the front of the car, watching him roll his way to you and taking your hand in his as he leads you to the door of the house. 

The second you unlocked the door and opened it, Lando ran in like a kid and immediately dropped all his belongings before flopping onto the couch. 

Yup, that’s my man. 

“You like it? Out of all the rentals available, I thought this one was the best. It’s a bit far from everything and there’s a hiking trail not far.” you tell him, walking to the kitchen to prepare dinner. 

Lando is rolling on the couch as if he were a dog trying to get into a comfortable position. His head pops over the back of the couch to look at you, “Yeah, seems quite cozy. Thanks for this, darling. I know I don’t really deserve you but I’m really grateful that you’ve given me so many chances.”

“Don’t thank me, love. I love you and I want you to be okay,” his cheeks blush at your words. It’s been a while since you’ve called him ‘love’, “Put something on the tv and lie down for a bit while I prepare dinner, yeah?” 

“You sure I can’t help you? I can peel a potato or something… okay maybe nothing as advanced as peeling a potato but I can boil noodles or something.” he chuckles a bit. 

“Gorgeous, last time you tried to boil noodles, you burnt the water. I still don’t know how you managed that.” you couldn’t contain your laugh at the memory. It was one of your first dates with Lan and he’d wanted to make you a home cooked meal. Take out ended up being delivered. 

“Yeah, alright. We’re watching Hannah Montana.” he said as he flopped his back against the couch. 

When dinner was cooked, you and Lando plated the food before moving to sit on the floor in the living area, using the coffee table to eat off. 

The two of you continued watching Hannah Montana until the episode where Blue Jeans became ill. Lan immediately changed the show to play the movie rather than the tv series.

“Lan, you do know Blue Jeans recovers at the end of the episode, right?” 

“Yeah but he still has to go through the traumatic experience of being bitten by that snake and I just can’t. We’re gonna watch the Hannah Montana movie now and slow dance to ‘Crazier', cry to ‘Butterfly Fly Away’, and dance to ‘You Can Always Find Your Way Back Home’.” he tells you sternly. He's made up his mind and nothings gonna change that. So that’s just what you do. 

When Taylor Swift appears on the screen and starts singing ‘Crazier’, Lando jumps up off the floor and leans his body towards you, holding his hand out for you to take. Once you place your hand in his, he pulls you swiftly off the floor, pulling your body close to his. You wrap your arms around his neck while his hands are secured on your waist. The two of you swing your bodies slowly and effortlessly to the melody that’s playing in the background. 

When the lyric “you lift my feet off the ground.” Lando does exactly that. He’s gripped your waist and lifted you in the air, bringing a squeal out of you as you were not expecting that. He keeps you above him as you let out a fit of giggles. Once your feet land back on the ground, you fall into Lando, trying to catch your breath. You listen to his heartbeat and hold him tight. He really is your favorite person. 

In true Lando fashion, he knows all the words to this song. As he should since he decided it was one of your songs a while ago. You watch as he sings the words to you, and you realize just how truly in love you are with the person in front of you. You would wait forever for him. He’s the closest to heaven you’ll ever be. 

Once the song ends, the two of you sit back down and continue watching the movie. You were cuddled up to Lando, wrapping yourself around his arm as he rested his head on yours, occasionally leaving soft kisses. 

The beginning chords of ‘Butterfly Fly Away’ play and Lando is already in tears. He’s already buried his head into your shoulder as he sobs about how emotional the song is. “He was always there for her. He tucked her in and turned out the light. He had to do it all alone!” 

All you could do to comfort him was hold him close to you and rub his back. You hummed along to the song, Lando loved it when you did that. You never sang in front of him, but when you did, it was like God's greatest gift to him.  

The end of the movie was near as the opening chords of ‘You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home’. The two of you were already on your feet, ready to dance and sing along. Lando had even pushed some of the furniture out so that there was more room for dancing. 

With some crazy moves and a whole lot of jumping around, you and your love had the time of your lives. 

Lando is pointing at you when he sings the lines “‘Cause, when I’m feeling down, and I’m all alone, whoa, oh. I’ve always got a place where I can go.” singing completely off key but who cares, he’s having fun, and so are you. 

When the song comes to an end, you’re in Lando’s arms, trying to catch your breath again. But it feels impossible when everytime you look at him, he takes your breath away. The most beautiful man ever is yours? Crazy, really. 

You stay in his arms for a moment, looking into those eyes that looked like sunlight was filtering through leaves. 

“Home.” he breaks the silence, smiling down at you wholeheartedly. He cocks his head to the side before continuing, “You’re my home.” 

It took everything in you not to break down into a puddle of tears at that moment. 

Instead, you bring your lips to his, connecting them in a sweet, soft exchange. 

After putting the furniture back in place and cleaning the dishes from dinner, you lead Lando to the room you’ll be sharing during this little vacation. 

After a quick shower, Lando meets you on the bed, almost collapsing onto it due to the exhaustion he’s been in. 

There’s no need to exchange any words at this moment. You just pull Lando into you, watching as he rests his head on your chest and wraps his arm around your waist. You scratch the back of his neck, messing with his curls a bit as your other hand draws patterns on his bare back. 

After a minute, you feel Lan relax into you, watching as his breathing becomes shallow and steady. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep and you're thankful. He truly does need sleep, especially for the talk you two will have in the morning. 

You follow suit with Lando and fall asleep soon after him. It was the best sleep you’d had in ages. 

The sun shines through the thin, cotton curtains that cover the windows. Lando’s chest is warm against your back, his arm wrapped around your torso, keeping you close to him. The steady breathing lets you know he’s still sound asleep. You check the time, reading 7:24 am. It’s still a bit early so you decide to get some breakfast prepared for when Lando wakes up. 

You slowly and quietly move out of his arms, careful not to wake him as you know he won’t stay in bed if he knows you aren’t next to him. Once you’re out of bed, you brush your teeth and 

make your way to the kitchen. 

Breakfast is kept simple, just some overnight oats with some fruit and honey. After a few minutes of washing and cutting some fruit, you watch as Lando emerges from the bedroom, sleep lacing his features. 

“I didn’t hear you leave the bed.” he frowns at you. 

“Sorry, darling. I knew you were tired and I didn’t want to wake you so soon. But your timing is perfect! I've just finished preparing breakfast.” you smile gleefully, presenting him with a beautiful bowl of fruits and oats. 

The smile on his face is enough to brighten the whole room. “Thanks, baby. Looks amazing, as always.”, he walks around the kitchen counter to kiss you. 

Once he’s sat down and begun eating, you tell him your plan for the day, or his plan. 

“I was thinking we could go on that hiking trail I told you about. Getting some fresh air and some sun could be good for you. We could also talk a bit? About everything?”

You can tell he’s a bit uncomfortable from the way he stiffens when you mention wanting to talk. He was never really one for talking about himself and the things he’s struggling with. He much prefers listening but he knows he has to let you in a bit. 

Without looking up at you, he responds, “Yeah. Sounds good.” continuing to stuff his face with his oats. 

Once you two had finished breakfast, you put on your shoes and made your way to the hiking trail. 

During the beginning of your walk, you decided it would be best to get Lando to feel comfortable before jumping into the whole discussion of him and his mental health. So you begin by asking, “So, Tarkov, how have you been doing in it?”

He looks at you with genuine surprise, wondering why the fuck you’re asking about Tarkov when he knows it’s not your type of game. But, he answers anyway, “Erm, it’s turned into more shit and giggles if anything. A lot of messing with Max and them. Oh, the other day I stabbed Max’s character in the leg cause he stabbed my foot. And then I stabbed him again but his game was glitching so he couldn’t heal. He was actively dying and couldn’t stop it so I shot his guy. Let’s just say he wasn’t exactly joyful about that. But in my defense, he would’ve died anyway. It was a mercy kill.” he laughs to himself. 

After almost 45 minutes of walking, you guys stumbled upon a nice lake that was surrounded by trees. There was a shore with some large boulders so you led Lando there for a bit of a break from walking. 

You two sat there for a moment before you broke the silence to try and talk to him. 

“You know I love you right?” you ask him, watching him look down at his hands and start to fiddle them. 

“Yeah.” he responds quietly. 

“I want you to be okay, Lan. I can see you being torn apart by everyone and everything. I don’t want to watch you fall because you don’t deserve that.” “It’s hard, being me. I know I should be happy for everything that I have. I mean, I have money, a house, so many fucking cars that I don’t need, a loving family, and the most amazing and beautiful girlfriend. But, it feels like I’m drowning in everything with racing.” - he confesses, his tone is low, matching the way his reality makes him feel so small.

You scooch closer to him, taking his hand in yours, “I know it’s been hard. And you have the right to feel the way you do. You’re the person who gets the most shit right now with the media. They’re all twisting shit to fit their narrative. But you need to keep pushing back, don’t let them walk over you anymore.” “My mind is complicated. But when you’re here, next to me, it quiets a bit. I know that when I’m with you, everything is easy, like a million things can be thrown at me, but at the end of the day, if you’re here, I’ll be okay. I know I sort of broke you, someone I love so much. It’s all me, in my head. I burned us down and I’m sorry I did that to you. I don’t wanna lose you.” “You’ll never lose me, Lan. I’ll keep your hand in mine, until we’re food for the worms to eat, til our fingers decompose. This love of ours isn’t temporary. So I’m not gonna give up on us, on you.” - your hand touches the side of his face, bringing him to meet your eyes before you continue, “I’m still yours, even when you lose your mind and try breaking up with me a million times. None of this is your fault. You’re all I want.”

Tears begin to stream down his face as he leans his forehead against yours, “I just want you to know who I am, outside of the racing and the drama. I don’t want them to see me, just you, cause you’re the only one who understands me.”

You lift his chin so he can look in your eyes again as you say, “I know who you are. You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine, and I’m never letting you go again.”

-=+=-

Liked by y/n_l/n, maxverstappen1, and others

Tagged: y/n_l/n

landonorris baby, you showed me what living is for and i dont wanna hide anymore

Thank you for everything, my love. I wouldn’t be where I am without you 🧡

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User23 now wait a min ✋ how many chapters did i miss?

User54 i told y’all they were fine! No way a couple as in love as them would ever break up

User75 alexa, play ‘that should be me’ by justin bieber 🫠 User13 omg, and the taylor lyrics 😭 she loves taylor swift and he dedicated it to her 😭😭😭😭😭

[tswkento]

author’s notes: LOOK i saw the trailer for LaD and i couldn’t stop myself… cat hybrid nanami is what i need also ignore the typos

you ran a hand down your face roughly before turning to shoko, “how did this happen again?”

yuuji’s shoulders slumped since his thorough retelling of the events(with fitting sound effects, of course) was just blatantly disregarded by you, and you had stop yourself from squealing like a little girl because the matching pink cat ears on his head slumped along with his shoulders.

shoko smirked and took off her gloves, tossing them into the bin by the examination table, “short story is: they were cursed with cat traits and we don’t know when the effects will wear off, but they will since the curse is exorcised.”

“where’s… where’s nanami?” you inquired with a cautious glance at ieiri. her smirk only grew wider as she nodded to the bathroom door opening just in time with you voicing your question.

as nanami slowly entered the room, you gasped in disbelief, brows raising animatedly and a hand covering your parted lips, while shoko let out a barely audible snort, earning herself an irritated glare from the blonde man.

“c’mon, itadori,” she winked at you, hand grabbing onto yuuji’s forearm, gently guiding him out of her office. “let’s go find gojo.”

after the soft, clicking sound of the closing door, silence settled into the room.

you stepped closer to nanami, big eyes opened curiously wider as you inspected his new… form. the brownish, very soft-looking ears sticking out of his head and the similarly coloured fluffy tail with lighter stripes thrown into it’s pattern calmly settled behind him, probing through the cut of his blazer.

“are you done?” nanami sighed, exasperated, crossing his arms over his chest, the ears and the tail definitely a liability to his stern and annoyed attitude.

you let out a hysterical giggle as a wide beam stretched on your lips, “you’re a cat, kento.”

“i’m not a cat. this is just a temporary issue.” you completely ignored his words, stepping even closer as you backed him into the examination table, making him lean backwards as your hands inched closer to his head.

unfortunately for him, you asked for the inevitable, “can i touch them? please, please, please??”

nanami stared down at you for a second, part of him hoping you would relent and stop his suffering by pretending that nothing had changed, but the rational side of him knew that was a stupid thought. so he wordlessly nodded and waved his hand, parting his legs so you could situate yourself between them.

it was a weird, completely foreign feeling — your fingers delicately rubbing the sensitive skin of the ears, sending shivers down his arms, his spine, making him grip onto the edge of the table.

“agh, you’re so cute~” you simpered sweetly as your attentive gaze raked over his features, taking in the deep crease between his brows and the way his lashes fluttered momentarily. “even if you’re grumpy.”

“there’s nothing to be happy about in this situation.” he gritted through his teeth, eliciting a gasp from you. you grabbed the sides of his face gently, tugging his head down to inspect him closely. “what now?”

you smiled wider, honeyed chuckles filling his ears as your thumbs caressed the corners of his mouth, “you have fangs too! you’re adorable!” you pressed your cheek against his, rubbing with a pleased hum until you felt nanami relax into you.

your free hand travelled down his arm, easily finding his tail as you stroked the length of it, giggling at the way nanami struggled to keep his stoic facade on. the way he jerked with ever change of the pressure from your palm and his breaths got shakier and shorter made you want to torture him more.

“should i get you cat food?” you grinned coyly, utterly pleased with yourself as you played with his ears and his tail simultaneously. “litter box too?”

nanami could only glare at you, very much unenthusiastic about the time he is going to spend in this state, “very funny, darling.”

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Fish Tale

Summary: Reader has formed an unusual relationship with a mermaid that saved her life a few months before. This relationship evolves further when a friend of that mermaid watches them have their fun, and even further evolves when a group of sailors find the mermaids

Warnings: fantasy typical violence (fights with fists, knives & swords), light angst (reader gets hurt but lives), Reader has a penis, smut (vaginal penetration, brief handjob, oral, fingering)

Authors note: I'm sorry its so late 😭 hope you guys still enjoy it!

Word count: 8353

WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Halloween 2024 Masterlist

  Waves gently roll up on the sand as you walk along the shoreline. Up ahead, among the rocks, you can just barely make out the shine of red tresses in the moonlight, and it brings a smile to your face. You make your way further down the beach, heading right for the rock pile. As you get a bit closer the individual turns and smiles at you

   “You're late” she scolds, but her voice softens, “I was starting to get worried”

   “I”m sorry, my love. The crew insisted I go with them to the pub tonight and wouldn't take no for an answer”

   “It’s okay, I’m just glad you're here now” she says, patting the sand beside her, “Sit with me?”

   “It would be my pleasure” you reply, already starting to work your boots off

   You sit down beside her in the damp sand and let the waves wash over your lower legs. Beside you her tail swishes playfully in the shallow water, and you take a moment to appreciate the way her dark scales shine. It reminds you of a starlit sky, inky black with small specks that shimmer

    “The night I rescued you was like this” she comments, bringing you out of your thoughts, “Calm and peaceful after the storm that had hit the day before”

   “It was. And I’m still so grateful that you found me. I wouldn’t be here if not for you.”

   “I’m glad I found you too, I’ve never known a human like you” she admits, bringing her hand to rest on yours

   “You've never known a human at all” you tease

   “Personally, no. But I’ve come across enough to know what they think of my kind and I know how they treat us. You aren’t like that though, you're different.” 

   “Well, I never saw any point in hating or fearing your kind. Even before you rescued me” you admit

   “That's why you're special” she says, squeezing your hand affectionately, “You don’t hate what you don’t understand”

   “Well, you're special too since you don’t either. I’m sure there's plenty of your kind that would despise me”

   “There are.” She nods, “It's why I always have us meet here, they’d never risk being in this cove”

   “Which is funny because most of my kind wouldn’t be here either. The average townsperson doesn’t even know this cove is here. And most sailors are too afraid it's haunted by the pirates that were killed and buried here a century ago.”

   “Lucky us” she comments, letting her hand move from yours on the sand to cup your cheek 

   “Lucky us indeed” you agree, leaning closer to her, “I’ve missed you”

   “I’ve missed you too, so much” she says, pulling you in for a kiss

   You shift in the sand to be closer to her as your tongue slides into her mouth, and her hands grasp the back of your shirt tightly. She lets out a moan as your hand caresses the scales of her tail and pulls you even closer

   “I need you, dorogoy(darling)” 

   A jolt of arousal goes through you at her admission and you can feel your pants beginning to get tighter at your crotch. You shift slightly to alleviate the pressure, which she notices, and she eagerly starts to palm your bulge. You let out a soft moan at the action but quickly move her hand aside to undo your trousers. She watches you strip and chuckles when you stumble, but all humor is forgotten once you're completely bare in front of her.

  You straddle her tail and brush her long hair behind her back, exposing her neck gills and breasts to both your eyes and the night air. She shivers slightly, but also bites her lip in anticipation as she watches you eye her like a hungry seal

   “You're so beautiful” 

   She moans as you grab her tits, and her tail shifts beneath you as she attempts to seek more pleasure. You chuckle at her eagerness but relent, letting go of one of her plump mounds to grab your cock and guide it to her slit. There's already a decent amount of her arousal leaking out from it and onto her scales which helps you to slide inside her with ease. You both let out moans at the feeling of your tip spreading her open, and she lets out another as you slip further in

   “God, you feel so good” you murmur as you lower yourself further down, making her lean back and rest snuggly in the sand

   She wraps her arms around your neck to pull you even closer, “So do you…fuck”

   You smirk at that and begin to thrust your hips. Her hold on you tightens as you find a rhythm and you're almost certain you can feel her nails breaking the skin on your shoulder blades, but you hardly care. Your only focus right now is bringing her pleasure while getting yours as well

   You brace your hands in the sand beside her as you quicken your pace and start to trail kisses across her chest as she pants, “Yes…yes…right there!”

   “Fuck yes” you hum in agreement, feeling yourself beginning to throb as her walls flutter around you, “I’m gonna cum”

   You admission makes a deep moan leave her before she's able to respond, “Me too, cum with me, please”

   With a few more thrusts you're bringing her over the edge, and you follow swiftly behind. You continue to fuck her through both your orgasms, though your pace is slower now, to prolong the feeling and only stop when she whimpers and pushes on your shoulder gently

   You still inside of her and lean down for a kiss. It's full of passion and longing on both ends, and you can practically feel her begging the universe for morning to never come, so the two of you can spend forever like this. Together, intertwined in passion in the still warm sands on the shore. But you unfortunately know that wish will never come to be

   She breaks the kiss and looks at you with such care that your heart could burst, “I love you”

   “I love you too, Tasha”

   She tries to not let her emotions show, but the shine of unshed tears doesn’t go unnoticed, “I wish it could always be like this. Just the two of us, together and not confined to the secrecy of nights”

   “I know” you murmur, resting your forehead against hers as you shift an arm closer to her to offer comfort, “I wish that too, so badly”

   Her hands cup your face, “Will you hold me?”

   You nod and shift away from her, pulling your now softened member free of her as you situate yourself. You both take a moment to appreciate the way your seed spills from her before you move to lay in the sand beside her. Your arms wrap around her waist and you pull her flush against you. She wraps her arms around you as well and nuzzles her face against your neck.

   The two of you stay like that, wordlessly embracing each other as your hands softly map out the muscles of her back while hers keep you as close as possible until you both fall into a peaceful sleep

   You're awoken hours later by the sound of gulls nearby and when you open your eyes you can just barely see the sun beginning to rise over the horizon. Your gaze then falls on the still sleeping mermaid in your hold and you can’t help but smile. She's so beautiful and looks so at peace like this. You wish you could hold her like this whenever either of you saw fit or wanted it, not just as she slept. But longing for the impossible will do you no good, so instead you shuffle closer and press a gentle kiss to her neck just above her gills.

   The corners of her mouth twitch ever so slightly, “Good morning”

   “Good morning, my love” you reply, letting your fingers run through her hair

   “Do we still have some time together?”

   You glance back to the sunrise, “A bit”

   “Good” she hums, wrapping her tail around your legs, “Don’t want to say goodbye yet”

   “I never want to” you admit

  She smiles at you sadly, “Neither do I”

   You lean forward and connect your lips to hers, momentarily taking both your minds off your impending departure as you both pour your love for the other out into the kiss. After a few minutes of making out you reluctantly pull away, but she pulls you back in for more

   Finally you manage to break the kiss, “Tasha, I have to go”

   “Stay?” she asks, looking at you with such longing that your chest aches, “Just a bit longer?”

   “You know I wish I could” you reply, cupping her face and brushing away a stray tear, “But I can’t. I’m sorry my love”

   Though disappointed she understands, “When will I see you again?”

    “Two days from now” you answer as you sit up. You grab your discarded clothes and shake the sand out before beginning to put your shirt back on, “It's not a long wait, but I will still miss you”

   “I’ll miss you too”

   You lean back down for another kiss before you stand and start putting your undergarments and pants on. As you do so she slides down the shoreline a bit and gets her tail in the water. She lets the cool water wash away all signs of your night together as she uses her  hands to knock as much sand from her hair as possible. Her gaze falls back on you once your boots are back on and you give her your best smile

   “Go ahead home, my love. I don’t want to leave until I’m sure your safe”

   She smiles at you though it doesn't reach her eyes and she slides further into the water. Once she's deep enough for your liking she turns back around, “Be careful moya lyubov'(my love), I’ll see you soon”

   “I will be, and I’ll see you soon”

   You watch her reluctantly go under the water and you're able to track her shallow movements for a bit until she goes out past where any man would dare swim. It's only then that you turn and start to head back up the beach. You enter the treeline and follow your slightly worn path back to the main road, which you then follow to town. Thankfully it was early enough that most folk would still be asleep, and those that weren’t were either too hungover to care about your disheveled appearance or were fellow sailors themselves and knew better than to ask where one of their own found themselves after a night of drinks.

   Eventually you make it back to your small house and are greeted outside by the ornery stray that you let crash at your place. You chuckle at his scraggly meow and reach down to pet him. He purrs and flops down in front of you

   “Silly cat. Come on, it's breakfast time”

   He hops up and scurries to your front door where he yowls and scratches at the wood. He bolts inside as soon as you open the door and runs right to your small table. He jumps up on it and yowls some more, clearly impatient with you. You chuckle and toss him a fish you'd grabbed on your way through town. He happily licks and munches on it as you head back outside to collect some water from your well. Once back inside you head to your room with the small bin of water and strip yourself.

   You use a sponge and the basin of water to clean yourself up and get rid of all the remaining sand and grime from your body. After you deem yourself clean enough you get changed and head back into the other room. All that's left on your table are the bones of the fish and the cat now sits in your windowsill all stretched out

   “I’ll see you later boy.” you tell him, scratching his chin before heading out the door and back to the docks

   Finally it's two days later and Natasha can hardly contain her excitement. She thought she was being discreet enough, but apparently she hadn’t been because her best friend, fellow mermaid Wanda, is inquiring about her mood

   “What's got you so happy today?”

   “Am I not normally happy?” Nat deflects, but it doesn’t deter her friends curiosity

   Wanda rolls her eyes, “You are, but tonight seems different. It's like you're anticipating something”

   Nat just shrugs, “Can’t I just be in a good mood?”

   “You can, I’m sorry” Wanda says, deciding it's best to drop the matter. Though she definitely knows her best friend is up to something. 

   Hours later this is confirmed when she notices the redhead slip away from their pod. She knows she should give her friend privacy, but she also knows Nat is hiding something and she's far too curious to just let that slide. She discreetly follows behind at a distance, making sure she's far enough behind to not be spotted but also close enough that she wouldn’t lose the redhead. 

   Eventually they’re in shallow water by the shoreline, and when Nat slides herself up on the beach Wanda takes cover behind some rocks nearby. She hopes that with only her head above the water she will blend in with them in the cover of darkness. She watches as a human appears and starts to make their way down the beach towards her friend. Her heart hammers in her chest as panic fills her, she can see that Nat also notices the human so why doesn’t she hide? Why does she sit there like an open target?

   Natasha can hardly contain herself when she finally sees you approaching her, if she had legs she knows she’d be running to you. Instead she sits and waits with a big smile on her face as you hurriedly advance. As soon as you're within arms reach she holds out her arms to you and you let out a chuckle. You eagerly oblige however and quickly kneel in the sand to engulf her in your embrace

   “Missed you” she mumbles against your neck as she practically melts into your hold

   You card your fingers through her still damp locks, “Missed you too. I always do”

   She pulls back a bit in order to give you a kiss, which you happily reciprocate before sitting down fully in the sand. Nat doesn’t move far though and keeps her arms firmly around you, but you don’t mind. You're just as happy to hold her as she is

   As the two of you embrace, Wanda nearly has a meltdown. What in the world was Natasha doing sneaking off to meet a human? What in the world was she doing kissing a human? This wasn't just out of character for the older mermaid but was quite dangerous as well. It just didn’t make sense. There were plenty of suitable members of their pod and plenty in it that liked the redhead, so she couldn't fathom why she’d chose to be with a disgusting and terrible creature like humans.

   She knows this is a private moment between her best friend and her apparent lover, but knowing what humans are capable of, knowing what they’ve taken from her,  she just can’t find it in herself to leave. She probably wouldn’t be much help if something happened, mind you, but she’d rather be here just in case rather than leave Natasha at the mercy of a potential threat. 

    Back on shore you continue to hold Natasha, whose hands travel down to your own to toy with your fingers. However as she does so her eyes follow and she notices an injury to your forearm. Her brows furrow in concern as one of her palms soothes your inflamed flesh

   “What happened?”

   “Rope burn” you answer, “A rigging line near me snapped. Thankfully this was all that happened”

   She pretends to understand fully, but she gets the gist, “You’re okay then?”

   “Yeah, I'll be healed up in no time”

   She continues to gently caress your skin there for a bit, trying to distract herself from the nagging thoughts at the back of her head about how she wouldn’t know if you were badly hurt until you missed showing up for a nighttime rendezvous. You can sense a bit of her inner turmoil and pull her closer, hoping that the current closeness to you will drown out the negativity

   The two of you spend the next couple hours in various cuddled positions while talking about everything and nothing. You were both truly content to just get this time together, it wasn’t rare per say, but it was always hard for both of you to be without each other throughout the day. And even harder to spend a few days and nights apart from each other entirely. Normally that meant Nat and you would spend the night together on the beach, but she knew her best friend had been suspicious today and didn’t want to risk it

   “I should go” she says, quickly continuing once she notices your hurt and confused expression, “Wanda caught on thay I was excited for something today, I just don’t want to risk her being nosey and waking early or perhaps not even be sleeping yet”

   You nod in understanding, “Okay. I’ll see you here tomorrow, right?”

   “Of course” she assures, leaning in for a kiss

   After you break apart you reluctantly let her go and watch her slide into the water, “I love you”

   “I love you too” she replies with a sad smile before submerging

   As you stood and walked back up the beach you had no idea that a confrontation was occurring just below the waves. As soon as Nat had started to depart Wanda had dove under and waited, this was a conversation that definitely could’t occur back at their pod.

   “Wanda, what-”

   “Don’t” she interrupts, “Natasha, what the hell are you thinking?! A human?! Really?!”

   “She's different” she stresses

   But Wanda isn’t having it, “She's a human!”

   “She isn’t afraid of us, she doesn’t find us disgusting, she isn’t cruel or violent” she explains, “She is nothing but kind, generous and loving”

   Wanda still looks displeased and crosses her arms, “She's still a human. What would happen if the rest of the pod found out, or your parents?”

   Natashas eyes widened, “You can’t tell them, please Wanda.”

   “I’m just trying to keep you safe” she stresses

   “I am safe!” Nat assures, “Y/n would never hurt me, not ever. She loves me, just as I love her”

   “And what about her friends or just her townspeople, do they share that sentiment?”

   “You know they don’t” she scoffs

   “Then you aren’t safe”

   “Wanda, please” she begs, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I’ve never been treated the way she treats me. Can’t you just be happy for me and let me have this? Please?”

   Wanda bites her tongue, keeping the snide comment about not being able to fully be with this human anyway so why did it matter to herself, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

   “I know, and I love how fiercely protective you are, but I promise you, Y/n is different. And she would do anything to keep me safe” The younger mermaid huffs, clearly not convinced, “I’m seeing her again tomorrow, come with me”

   “What?”

   “Come with me, come meet her” Nat explains, “You’ll see what she's really like and maybe you’ll understand. But even if you still don’t you can at least be at ease knowing I’m in good hands with her”

   “I don’t know Nat…” she sighs

   “Please, just do this. And if you still have bad feelings about it after meeting her then….then you can tell my parents.” 

   “You really mean that?” she questions, finding hard to even entertain the idea of enjoying a humans company

  “I do” she confirms 

   “Okay. I’ll come with you tomorrow”

   Nat lets out a sigh of relief, “Thank you”

   “Mhm, now come on. Let's get back before someone notices our absence and we have to explain”

   The next night comes quicker than Natasha had anticipated, probably due to how nervous she is. She wants to believe that Wanda will be able to get over her deep hatred for the entire human race once she gets to know you and maybe eventually she can even become friendly with you. But she's aware of just how much the other woman has lost at the hands of humans and would understand if that never happened. Really she just needs Wanda to like you, and considering how easily she liked you, she's hopeful, but still nervous.

   “Are you ready to have your midnight rendezvous with your lover?”

   Nat tries to hide the fact that her best friends teasing has made her blush, “Quiet, someone might hear you”

   Despite her disapproval Wanda chuckles, “Come on, lets go”

   The two swim in a comfortable silence until they near the shoreline, “Let me go up first and explain whats going on?”

   Wanda nods, “Sure, I wouldn’t want to scare your human away.”

   Nat glares at her before she swims up and slides onto the beach. She only has to wait a few minutes before you arrive. You eagerly greet her like you normally do, with a hug and a kiss, which she eagerly indulges you in. But then you notice her looking at you rather seriously

   “What's wrong?”

   “Nothing wrong, at least, I hope so” she starts out, “My friend Wanda- ”

   “Your best friend”

   Nat smiles and feels her heart flutter, just the fact that you always remembered the small things about her made her feel so cared for, “Yes, well, she followed me here last night. She saw us together.”

   Your face pales, “I image she isn’t happy”

   “She isn’t happy about it, but she's willing to meet you. To try and understand us.” she explains, “She's waiting for me to grab her, I just wanted you to know”

   “Okay, yeah. Go ahead”

   She quickly slides back into the water and shortly emerges with a brunette mermaid in tow. She looks a bit grumpy but she's just as beautiful. You smile warmly at her in the hopes to ease the tension between you both. She slides up on the beach beside Natasha.

   “Hi Wanda, it's nice to meet you, Natashas talked a lot about you.” you greet, “I’m Y/n”

   Wanda nods in your direction, “I unfortunately can’t say the same”

   Nat blushes a bit in embarrassment, “I just knew how you’d react”

   Is quiet for a moment before Wanda regards you, “How did you two meet?”

   “She saved my life” you admit, “I was out on my old fishing vessel and there was a sudden storm, the ship took major damage and I fell overboard. I was adrift at sea on some debris for a few hours. Once the storm passed she found me. She thought I was dead at first until she got closer, and she was surprised by my calm reaction to her. We spent some time just staring at each other and talking before she took me to shore”

   Wanda gives her friend a side glance, “That's all it took?”

   She shrugs, “She didn’t respond to me like most humans do and was kind. I wasn’t just going to leave her out there. The elements would have killed her quickly, or the sharks would have. That felt cruel”

   Wanda realizes she differs from Natasha greatly here, because she would have just left you there to die. In her eyes, after losing both parents and her brother to their cruel ways, all humans deserve to die. It didn’t matter if they were in trouble or if they seemed nice. A human was a human.

   “So you two just started seeing each other after that?”

   “Kinda” Nat says, “We were both pretty enamored with each other and agreed to start meeting up at this beach on occasion.”

   “Eventually on occasion became every free moment we both had, and we realized we felt something for each other.” you explain

    “Something we couldn’t deny” Nat continues

   Wanda observes the way you both look at each other, and she recognizes the love that's so obviously there. She used to see it all the time in her parents, and if she was finally being honest with herself it's also the same way she herself looked at Natasha

   “Promise me that you’ll take care of her? That you won’t hurt her?” Wanda asks, staring at you intently

   “I promise. Natasha means the world to me, I could never harm her”

   Nat grabs ahold of your hand and the brunette nods, “You better mean that, or else”

   You chuckle slightly and look at Nat, “You were right, she did give me the talk”

   The three of you spend the rest of the night talking, and you and Wanda get to know each other a bit. She isn’t incredibly open about anything, but she's far more talkative than Natasha had anticipated her to be. She's happy about that though, and she thinks you’ll be good for Wanda. Carrying around so much hate and bitterness for your entire species was slowly driving her down a dark path, and truthfully she was worried at times that she’d lose the brunette to it. But this was a good start in the opposite direction.

   After a few more hours pass they decide they should head back, and you bid them both farewell. Your goodbye with Nat was of course longer and more intimate, which Wanda teased you both about before they slipped into the sea and headed home.

   It didn’t take long after that for a new routine to occur. Now instead of only Natasha visiting you at night, Wanda did too. Not every time, as she still wanted to give you and Nat your time together as a couple, but she did occasionally tag along. It was nice, for both you and her. It gave you a mermaid other than that to learn things about and from, and it made you feel more at ease knowing Nat had a good friend. And it helped Wanda see that there is some good out there in humans. It might not be common but it did exist, and knowing you better also helped her trust you with her best friend's care.

   And Natasha was more than happy to see the two of you getting along. Other than her family, you and Wanda were the most important people in her life so for you to be becoming friends made her incredibly happy. She had always hoped the two of you would be able to get close, she just hadn't known how it would come to be. Thankfully, Wanda had taken care of that part by following her curiosity. Something both you and Nat still teased her for. 

   But one night, to everyone's surprise, about three months after you and Wanda had solidified your friendship another change happened. It started out as any normal night with Natsha would. She came alone this time, or so she thought, and waited for you on the beach as she usually would. You greeted her like usual, holding her close and giving her a few kisses. But it was clear rather quickly that she wanted and needed more than that tonight. She eagerly pulled you closer, kissed you deeper and palmed your bulge. 

   You groaned against her lips and pressed yourself further into her touch, “Tasha”

   “I’m right here, detka(baby)” she assures in a hushed tone as she continues her movements. 

   After a few more strokes she undoes your pants and slips your now hardened member free. You let out a subconscious sigh of relief as you're freed from the confines of your pants, and when her hand wraps around you again you throb. She smirks at you and your expression of enjoyment before she lowers herself. She wraps her lips around your tip and teases it with her tongue

   “Oh god, Tasha” you moan as you bring your hand up to tangle in her still damp hair

   She hums around you and takes you deeper into her mouth, eliciting sounds of pleasure from you as she begins to bob her head. Between her tongues movements, the feeling of her mouth around you, and the sounds she makes as she chokes on your cock, you know you won’t last terribly long

   What both of you failed to realize however was that at some point Wanda had changed her mind about joining Natasha on the beach tonight. When the redhead had first asked about it she had declined but she was bored tonight and decided no harm could come from heading up a bit late. She hadn’t anticipated that the two of you would be involved in such an act, let alone right out in the open

   She knows she shouldn’t be watching, this was a very personal and intimate act, but she finds herself unable to look away. She’d be lying if she claimed to have never had any more than friendly feelings for her best friend, and as she got to know you she found those same feelings emerging. She never intended to say anything as she valued her friendships with both of you too much to risk ruining them in any way. But maybe there was no harm in merely watching. At least that's what she told herself

   Back on the beach you're getting close to release, and Natasha knows it based on the way you throb in her mouth. She doubles down on her efforts and with a few more bobs of her head she finds herself swallowing your load. She releases you with a soft pop and looks up to find you trying to catch your breath. But when you open your eyes, your shocked to see Wanda out in the water. Nat feels the way you stiffen and immediately turns to see whats wrong and she's shocked to see Wanda as well. 

   But her eyes briefly meet yours and she smirks as she looks back out to the brunette, “Well, are you just going to wade there all night?”

   Wanda's cheeks heat up as she realizes she's been caught, and she decides to come forward. She joins you both  on the beach, “I’m sorry, I hadn’t meant to intrude”

   “If you wanted to see, or to join, all you had to do was ask Wans” the redhead admits

   Wanda is taken back by this, and searches her best friend's face for any sign of teasing or insincerity, but she finds none. She looks at you then and sees nothing but a soft and welcoming expression

   “You think Y/n and I havent noticed how close you’ve been getting with us? You think we haven’t been feeling and wanting some of the same things?”

   Wanda just stares, too shocked by the admittance to say anything, so you speak up, “We have noticed Wanda, and we want you too”

   “You do?”

   Nat smiles and cups her face, “We do”

   And that's how Wanda finds herself on her back in the sand with Nat groping at her tits and sucking marks against her neck while your fingers stretch her open. She whimpers as you curl them just right and her tail thrashes lightly in an adorable manner

   “You're doing so good for us” you coo as you continue to pump your fingers, causing her walls to clench down around you

   She moans again at Nat smirks against her collarbone, “Thats it Wans, just like that. Just let go”

   She moans your names as she comes undone, clutching at the redhead while wrapping her tail around you to keep you both close as you continue to help her through her orgasm. Eventually you pull your fingers free and offer them to Nat, whole eagerly cleans them

   You look down at Wanda with a smirk, “We’re going to have so much fun with you, sweetheart”

   A few months have gone by since then, and Wanda has easily fit into your dynamic. You're a bit more at ease now too, knowing that in your absences they at least have each other. But god do you miss them terribly when away. Thankfully your crew would be taking some much needed time off, and you intended to spend every night of that time on the beach with the two of them. You knew they were as excited as you were.

   Your just on your way to the market to procure supper for the night when one of your crewmates, the youngest of them actually runs up to you as if his pants were ablaze

   “Y/n! Come on, you gotta come with me!” he shouts as he starts to pull you away from the hustle and bustle of the market. You have no choice but to follow

   “What's all the fuss about Charlie?” you ask as the younger man hurries you along

    “Phil and the guys caught something, and you have to see it to believe it!”

    Your stomach twists as he suddenly turns onto the rather hidden path that you usually take to the cove. But you try to quench your anxieties. You normally met them at night afterall and it was still early morning, surely they wouldn’t be here yet. Phil probably nabbed a big hammerhead, you know they frequented the old wreck nearby.

   “Charlie! Down here!” you hear Stu call out as you both break through the tree line and step onto the beach. 

   He's pointing at a net that Erik is attempting to drag further out of the water. A task that is much harder than it should be due to the intense flopping of the nets contents. Charlie quickly bolts down the beach to help him and as you get closer you can finally make out what's thrashing around in the green and brown netting. And that's when your heart drops into your stomach. It's just as you feared, the occupants of the net are indeed your two beloved mermaids, and they're beyond terrified. Natasha does a good job at seeming stoic, but you've learned to read her well. And Wanda doesn’t even try to hide it as she clutches onto the redhead. But after everything humans have done to her family, you don't’ blame her

   “Kogda ya osvobozhus', ya pererezhu tebe vse glotki!(when I am free, I will cut all your throats!)” she snears

   “Keep your spells to yourself sea witch, or I’ll carve out your tongue right here!” Phil threatens as he kicks her red tail. That's when he notices your arrival, “Ah, Y/n!”

   “Phil.” you curtly greet, trying not to let any venom from the rage you currently feel slip into your words as you feel two pairs of green eyes land on you. 

   “Look at what I managed to capture!” he says all excited, “Can you believe it!”

   “Such rare creatures” Erik says, “To find two of them, we are lucky!”

   “Yeah, and all of it's bad. They're such disgusting things” Stu adds, and you have to fight back the urge to correct him with your fist

   “They're monsters. Killers” Charlie adds, “One of these things took my father to the grave, if given the chance, they'd take us to our graves too.”

    “Dorogoy(darling), please” Natasha calls out, breaking your heart

   You know it seems like you're not going to do anything to help them, as all you've done is stand and stare, but in reality you've been planning how to take out all four men on your own since you laid eyes on her and Wanda. 

   “It can speak like we do” Erik states in awe

   Stu looks absolutely mortified, “I say we gut them right here. Bring only their corpses back to town. They don’t need to be alive to be seen as more than fables.”

   “Y/n! Please!” Wanda begs, tears streaming down her face

   That's when the chaos momentarily calms, and all men turn to you. You're already braced to fight, as there's no way in hell you’d let them slaughter the women you loved.

   “It knows your name” Phil states as he eyes you suspiciously 

   “She. She knows my name” you correct, “Actually they both do, and I know theirs”

   Now Stu is looking at you too, “What?”

   Instead of answering you throw a punch at Erik. He hadn’t seen it coming and so it takes him off balance and he falls to his hands and knees in the sand and Charlie scrambles away from your other side 

   “What the fuck are you doing!?” Phil shouts as he reaches down to help Erik up

    “I’m not going to let you kill them”

    “Why the fuck not?!” Stu questions as he pulls out his knife and points it towards the net, “These things aren’t natural!”

   You pull your knife out too, “I swear if you hurt either of them, I’ll gut you like you threatened to do to them”

   Phil opens his mouth, likely in an attempt to calm everyone down and figure out just what is going on in your head, but Erik doesn’t give him a chance. As soon as he's on his feet again he's charging at you. You dodge his punch and land one of your own to his gut, avoiding using the hand that held the blade. He lets out an oomph as he stumbles away from you and Charlie rushes you next. He's a spry boy and is able to get a few hits in before you get your own in, but he doesn’t fall or stumble like Erik had. Instead he pulls his own knife from his boot

   “I don’t want to hurt you” you stress, “I’m just protecting them”

   “Yeah? And who protected my father? They deserve whatever fate happens upon them!”

   It's clear he's lost to his rage and you nod solemnly, “Then so do you”

   Erik tries to intervene by lunging at you, but you quickly sidestep and get him in a chokehold with your free arm while your other points your knife at Charlie. As you grapple with the two of them, Phil and Stu grab the net and start to pull the women further away from you and towards the treeline. They're putting up too much of a fight however and so the men don’t get far. This pisses them off and they decide to separate the two. You're too busy to notice until Nat lets out a yell

   “Get your hands off her!”

   You glance over to see Stu grabing a fistfull of Wandas hair as he attempts to pull her away from the older mermaid. You can see that Nats held back from doing anything to stop it by Phil holding his cutlass up to her sternum. Rage fills you and you no longer care about harming an unarmed man. You thrust your blade into Eriks chest and he lets out a strangled gasp. You pull the blade free and shove him aside, reading yourself for Charlie. The young boy's gaze falls upon his older friend who now gasps for air and clutches at his white shirt that quickly spreads with blood as he mindlessly stumbles away from you. 

   Charlie wipes a few of his tears as he looks back at you with a sneer, “I’ll kill you for that”

   “You’ll try”

   He runs at you with his knife raised, unintentionally leaving himself open for you. Your free hand grabs his wrist to stop his blade as yours punctures his sternum. His eyes widen and his chin quivers as a drop of blood drips down his chin

   “I’m sorry kid. You’ll be with your father soon.” You doubt the words are any comfort to him, but it makes you feel a bit better as you wrench your knife free of his body 

   You quickly turn on your heel to see that Stu has fully removed Wanda from the net and still has her by the hair. His back is to you though, and Phil is struggling to wrap the net back around Natasha, and so you have an advantage.

   You go running towards them and tackle the man. His knife slips from his hand as does your knife from yours, and the three of you tumble down to the sand. He lets go of the younger mermaids hair to twist himself around and the two of you struggle for control of the other

   “Wanda, go!” you shout as you shove the man's face into the sand, “Get to the water!”

  “But Natasha!” she stresses, turning to look at the other woman only to see the other man now coming towards her

   “I’ll get her!” you promise

  “Go!” Nat adds, “Now!”

   Wanda listens and turns over on her belly and starts to slide herself towards the water. Just as she gets out of reach Stu elbows you in the face, it's hard enough that you can feel blood start to drip as your face meets the sand. Stu grunts as his hands wrap around your throat

   “I swear if you hurt that boy, I’ll-”

   His threat is cut out as your vision starts to go black and your ears start to ring. But you're still with it enough to see Phil go to move past you both, heading to grab Wanda. You can’t let that happen so you kick out with your legs. Thankfully one of them hits Phil in his knee and he stumbles in the opposite direction. It's enough of a distraction that Stus' grip on you lightens and you use that to your advantage. 

   You feel around in the sand until you find a nice sizable rock and you swing your arm powerfully. The rock hit Stu hard and he falls over in a heap. You wiggle free from under him just in time to see Wanda slip into the water, and you let out a sigh of relief. Phils gaze goes to you then to Stu, whose blood is soaking into the sand beneath his head

   “What have you done?”

   “What I had to” you answer

   “You killed your own crewmates!” he shouts, grabbing his cutlass

   You stand and grab yours “I’d do it again if it meant keeping them safe” 

   As your sword clashes with his Natasha looks out to the water. She can’t help but smile when she sees how far out Wanda is, but when she hears the sound of your sword meeting his, her heart sinks. You've done everything you can to keep her and Wanda safe, you've killed your own friends for them. But your weakened after so much, and she's worried you may yet get injured

  Despite her worry she can't just sit here, so she starts to wiggle some more, hoping that the net will have mercy and release her. But then she sees it, your knife glinting in the sand within reach. She shimmies over and reaches out, carefully grabbing the blade and pulling it towards her until the handle is close enough. She wastes no time and starts slicing away at the nets that hold her

   You've managed to slice Phils leg but he's also managed to slice your arm. The two of you had always been the best with the sword, hence why you were the only on the fishing vessels crew that carried them, but this worked against you now. 

   “I’m going to take great pleasure in killing you in front of them” 

   You barely manage to parry his blade in time and you stumble backwards a bit. This seems to amuse him and thinking he has the upper hand he begins to circle you. You mirror his movements and work on catching your breath as he tries to intimidate you. He lunges, but it's more show than it is fight and you manage to slice his hand. He shouts in pain as he drops his sword and he looks at you with pure dred as you lunge.

   “Don’t-” but your blade goes right through his heart, stopping whatever he might say

   You let it stay lodged there and move to help Nat, who you can see has worked herself partially free, “You okay?”

   Relief washes over her features, “Yes, are you?”

   “I’ll be fine, small wounds that will heal” you tell her, kneeling down to pull her tail free from the net, “There we go.”

   But just then Nat sees movement behind you. She doesn’t have time to warn you however and suddenly there's a pain in your side, “Y/n!”

   “I told you I’d kill you if you hurt that boy” You can feel the blood drip from Stus head and onto you as he twists his blade into your ribs

   “Ahgh!” you gasp as the pain sets in and you can feel the air leaving your lungs as he pulls the knife free

   You fall and try to scramble away from him, and just as he goes to grab you again he lets out a scream. You look up to see your knife, which Nat had still been holding, is now lodged in his chest. You smile, damn proud of her, but just as his body hits the sand, yours does too

   “No!” she shouts, sliding over to your side. She places a hand under your head as the other puts pressure on the wound, “Dorogoy(darling)?”

   “Nice throw” you grunt as her face comes into view. You hate that you're the cause of the tears in her beautiful eyes, “Don’t cry”

   “This is my fault” she whimpers, “This is all my fault. If I had stayed away like Wanda said we should”

   “Hey, hey, don’t do that” you tell her, “Don’t blame yourself”

   You're now aware of another presence on your other side and glance over to see Wanda. The brunette looks just as upset as the redhead that's holding you and your heart crumbles further

   “Milaya(sweetheart), you saved us”

   You relax into her hand as she cups your cheek, “Id do anything for the two of you”

   A cough tears its way through you then, and to their horror blood comes up and drips from the corner of your mouth

   “No, no please” Nat begs, pressing harder on your side

   You let out a hiss in pain, “It's okay…”

   “No! No it isn't!” Nat stresses, “I’m not ready to let you go”

   “I’m not either” Wanda adds

   Nat quickly looks to the brunette, “Can you heal her?”

   “I- I don’t know. Agatha only just taught me healing magic” she explains

   “You've got to try, otherwise…”

   Wanda nods, “I’ll try my best”

   She puts her hand over Nats on your wound and lets the redhead pull away so that she is the one now putting pressure on you, and she does her best to focus on closing up the stab. But to her frustration nothing happens. She keeps her hand in place however and keeps trying, willing everything in her to just focus and heal you but still nothing happens

   A wave of anger overtakes her and she can’t help but lash out at the universe, “Enough has been taken from me, I will not lose her! She belongs with us!”

   A sudden rush of red energy surges out of her and into you, taking all three of you by surprise. Nat had seen Wanda's magic before but it had been small red sparks or a small flame like wave, nothing as large as this. And it certainly never made the brunette lean over in apparent exhaustion like she is now currently doing

   “You okay?” Natasha asks, reaching out to steady her. She nods in confirmation 

   Natasha's attention moves back to you then, and for a moment she fears the worst. Though your wound appears to be closed now your eyes are now too and you lay completely motionless, it doesn’t even look like you're breathing. She feels her own breath catch in her throat as she lays a hand on your chest

   “Y/n?” she calls out, barely above a whisper as she gently shakes you

   Your eyes snap open and you take a deep breath, “Holy shit”

   You try to sit up and the redhead moves to help you. Its then that she notices a change in you, something new and very familiar to her but foreign to you is now along your neck

   “It worked?” Wanda asked in disbelief 

   “It more than worked” Nat replies, a few tears building in her eyes, “Look”

   Wanda looks to where Nat is pointing to see that you now have a pair of gills, just like theirs. Somehow in her anger fueled magical outburst she had not only made sure to keep you alive but had also made you more like them

   “What's wrong?”

   They both shake their heads but its only Wanda that finds her words, “You can come home with us”

   “What?” you ask again, even more confused now, “What do you mean?”

   Nat grabs one of your hands and brings it to your neck and your eyes widen in realization, “See, we don’t have to be apart anymore. You can come home with us”

    “That sounds perfect” you admit, smiling at both women softly

   “You aren’t mad then?” Wanda asks, worried you’d be upset that she made such a massive change

   You shake your head, “Of course I’m not. This is great, if we can actually be together now that is. I’m not sure how accepting your kind will be of my legs”

   Both women smile at you and Nat cups your face, “You’ll be a little different than everyone else, but you’ll be with us. That's all I care about. If anyone makes a fuss about your differences, Wanda and I will deal with them”

   “Damn right we will”

   You laugh, “Let's go home then”

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[power-handmaiden]

Day 315: Bisexually Satisfied By My Healthy Work/Life Balance

After I had a lot of complicated thoughts after reading my tingler yesterday, it was relaxing to go to one that is extremely straightforward about its message. It even did some of my work for me when it went and compared itself to "Not Pounded By My Soul-Crushing Job Because I Quit". Well, compared and contrasted.

The way I see it, this one could be much more directly compared to "The Long Tetromino Piece Falls Into My Butt Just In Time". Both are stories about hobbies becoming a source of stress rather than an outlet for it. Even beyond the surface-level details, there are still major differences though- in this tingler, the stress of work being something that causes the need for an outlet is a very major part of the message rather than just being subtext. Another is that, in this one, the protagonist is actually successful in making a living off of doing what brings him joy. Probably in part because in this tingler, he didn't have to be pressured into it, it was a decision he came to on his own.

I like thinking of these two tinglers together, especially because less than two months passed between their publication. It's like there were some things left unexplored in "The Long Tetromino Piece Falls Into My Butt Just In Time", that this tingler came back to revisit. Different ways this kind of story could go, if the protagonist were of a different temperament. Sometimes it's best to just let hobbies and pastimes be that, but what about people who could enjoy bringing their interests into their work? What about people who naturally stumble upon something they'd like to make a living doing, in their spare time? As this tingler states itself, the right balance depends on the person and their relation to "work" and "life". It makes sense to see this side of it as well, coming from an author who now has traditionally published novels after starting his career putting out these short stories he just wrote for fun.

[rafesapologist]

wise man ─ jj maybank

summary: jj is suddenly spiraling.

warnings: unedited, angst, plot twist, violence, blood

author's note: this plot is also not the exact same as season 4, just inspired by it so some things have been changed

This was the worst you'd seen JJ spiral in the 12 years you'd known him.

After being gone all night, he finally returned to the chateau, nothing short of maniacal and fuming. He burst through the front door, ignoring the confused looks plastered on his friends' faces. Instead of sparking up his usual conversation about whatever unusual discoveries he'd made, he made a beeline straight to his room.

"Uh, what the hell was that?" John B asked, his voice tinged with perplexity. Everyone exchanged glances, their faces mirroring the same confusion.

"No idea," Pope replied, just as uncertain as the rest of them.

You sat there in silence, a fretful look etched across your face. JJ had left early that morning without saying where he was going or why. You figured it was better not to ask, given the frantic way he’d left. You thought maybe he’d gone off to blow off some steam or handle errands, but based on his state now, you knew something far graver was at play.

You fidgeted with your fingers in your lap while your friends continued tossing around theories about what was wrong with JJ. But you couldn’t focus on their words—your own mind was too busy, running through the worst possibilities. Their voices blended into a distant echo, drowned out by the rush of your thoughts. It wasn’t like JJ to return so heated, especially without acknowledging any of his friends. Especially not you.

"Y/n?" Sarah’s voice cut through the fog of your mind, soft but urgent.

"We thought maybe you should go check on him," she suggested plainly, her eyes fixed on you, the others waiting for your reaction.

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat making it difficult to speak. Your gaze flickered nervously across the room, desperately trying to read everyone's expressions, searching for some answer in their eyes.

"Why me?" you asked rather anxiously. Everyone exchanged glances, the answer written plainly on their faces: you know why. It was no secret that you and JJ had grown closer over the past two years, teetering on the edge of something more than just friendship. If anyone could get through to him and find out what was wrong, it was most likely going to be you.

You knew they weren't going to let you refuse—partly because they wanted answers, and partly because they were just plain nosy. They were all looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to be the one to break the ice. You sighed, feeling the weight of their pressure as you pushed yourself up off the couch.

"Alright, I'll go talk to him," you muttered, more to yourself than anyone else. You could feel their eyes on you as you made your way toward JJ's room, uncertainty following you with every step.

"Jayj?" You knocked softly, pressing your ear against the door. "It's just me."

The silence on the other side was deafening, so quiet you could practically hear the pounding of your own heartbeat. Seconds stretched into what felt like hours as you stood there, holding your breath, waiting for any sign of acknowledgment—a word, a movement, the creak of the door opening.

But there was nothing. Just that heavy, unbearable silence.

You knocked again, this time with a bit more urgency. The fear of what might be happening on the other side gnawed at you. "JJ, I just need to know that you're okay," you said softly, your voice tinged with a pleading desperation.

You held your breath, straining to listen for any hint of movement. The silence felt like it was swallowing you whole, the anxiety building with each passing second. Just as you were about to turn away, convinced he wasn't going to respond, you heard it—the faint creak of the door opening.

JJ stood in the doorway, his hair disheveled, his eyes clouded and unreadable. He looked like a shadow of himself, the usual spark in his gaze replaced by something darker and more distant. For a moment, neither of you said a word. The silence between you felt heavy, filled with all the things you wanted to ask but didn't know how to.

You shifted uncomfortably under his burning stare, your mind racing to find the right thing to say, but coming up empty. "Are you... okay?" you finally managed to cough out, your voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes flicked away from his, unable to hold his intense gaze for long. You found yourself staring at the floor instead, the tension between you nearly suffocating.

JJ let out a low, sinister chuckle, the kind that made your stomach twist. It was the kind of laugh that told you everything was anything but okay. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends as if trying to ground himself. The motion was tense, almost frantic.

You looked at him with furrowed brows, the unease settling deep in your chest. Without saying another word, you took a step forward and slipped inside his room, gently shutting the door behind you. The soft click of the latch seemed to echo in the tense silence.

Turning to face him, you found JJ still staring at you, his expression blank but his eyes filled with a storm of emotions he was barely holding back. You took a slow, steady breath, trying to keep your own voice calm despite the worry gnawing at you.

"Tell me what's going on, Jay," you said, your voice gentle but firm. You met his gaze, refusing to look away this time. Whatever it was that had him spiraling, you needed to know. And you weren’t going to leave until he let you in.

"This has to stay between us, Y/n," JJ said, his voice frantic, barely above a whisper. His eyes locked onto yours, the sincerity and desperation in his gaze making your chest tighten. "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else. Please."

You nodded slowly, swallowing hard. "Okay, I won't," you responded flatly, keeping your tone steady. You didn’t want to push him any further, not when he was so close to the edge.

JJ’s hands trembled slightly as he ran them through his hair again, a shaky exhale escaping his lips. He looked at you like he was searching for something—maybe reassurance, maybe the strength to say what he needed to say.

"Luke isn't my dad," he blurted out, his voice cracking on the last word.

The room fell into a heavy silence. For a moment, you weren't sure if you had heard him correctly. You half-expected him to take it back, to say he’d worded himself wrong. But he didn’t. He just stood there, his shoulders tense, waiting for your reaction.

Your eyes widened as you absorbed the weight of his confession, struggling to process it. "How do you know?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You forced yourself to stay calm, fighting to keep the shock from seeping into your tone. The last thing you wanted was to set him off even more.

JJ let out a shaky breath, his eyes darting away, unable to meet yours. It was as if the truth was too heavy to hold onto, slipping from his grasp now that it was out in the open.

"He told me," JJ muttered, his voice breaking. "He told me he wasn't my real dad."

The room felt like it was spinning around you. The shock of his words hit you like a wave, and you struggled to keep your expression neutral, not wanting to add to the storm already brewing inside him. "When did he tell you?" you asked gently, taking a cautious step closer.

"Last night," JJ admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to fight back the tears threatening to spill. "I pushed him. I kept asking why he was like this, why he treated me the way he did. And he just snapped. He said I wasn’t his problem—that I never was. That I wasn’t even his kid.”

You winced at his revelation, the pain of Luke's words hitting you as if they were directed at you. Hearing them through JJ's voice, raw and broken, made it feel like a knife twisting in your chest. Your expression softened, filled with a deep, aching pity. The urge to pull him into your arms, to somehow absorb his pain and take it away, surged inside you.

"Oh, Jay..." you muttered, almost to yourself, your voice barely above a whisper. You reached out a hand but hesitated, unsure if he’d let you touch him in the moment of vulnerability. "This isn’t your fault," you continued, your tone weary. "You were just a kid. None of this is on you."

JJ’s reddened blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears, one almost slipping free before he hastily wiped it away, as if even a single tear would break the fragile control he clung to. He shook his head, almost violently, as though he could shake off the truth itself. His jaw clenched tight, the muscle in his cheek ticking with every beat of his fraying composure.

"It doesn’t matter now," he spat, his voice brittle and sharp, tinged with a bitterness that made your heart twist painfully in your chest. "My whole life has been a lie, Y/n. Everything I thought I knew—it’s all bullshit. The guy I thought was my dad? He’s nothing but an abusive piece of shit who took out his rage on me because he could. And now… I can’t help but wonder if things could’ve been different. If I’d known my real dad, maybe I wouldn’t have spent my whole life thinking I was the problem. That I was the reason I was never good enough."

His words cut through the silence like shattered glass, sharp and jagged. You could see the rage roiling in his eyes—the deep-seated hurt and betrayal, tangled with a rage so fierce it almost felt like it could set the room on fire. His lip quivered, and his hands curled into tight fists at his sides, as though he could crush the pain away with sheer force.

"I hate him," JJ muttered, his voice low, trembling with a fury that seemed to burn him from the inside out. "I hate that he lied to me. That he made me believe I was his son, only to turn around and make me feel like I was nothing. Like I didn’t matter. And now I’m stuck with this... this gaping hole in my chest. All I’ve got are these questions I can’t answer and a childhood I can’t get back. Nothing can change that. No words can erase what I’ve been through."

The anger in his eyes was raw, searing, but behind it, you could see the deep, aching hurt. He was trembling, his whole body taut like a bowstring about to snap. He looked like he was holding back a flood, desperately trying to keep himself from crumbling under the weight of it all.

Your heart ached at the sight of him standing there, so broken yet still holding onto the frayed edges of his pride. You took a step closer, moving slowly as if approaching a wounded animal, afraid that even the smallest movement might push him over the edge. Gently, you placed a hand on his arm, feeling the tremble of his muscles beneath your fingers.

"Jay," you whispered, your voice gentle but laced with a tinge of fear. You could feel the tension radiating off him, like he was barely holding himself together. "I know nothing can change what's been done," you continued softly, your words careful and deliberate. "And Luke... he was a horrible father. But what he did to you—that doesn’t define who you are. If anything, it only shows how fucked up he is, not you."

You watched JJ’s expression falter, the anger dissolving into something far more vulnerable—defeat. For a moment, you feared he might push you away, retreat behind that wall of bravado and anger he often used to protect himself. But instead, he looked at you, his eyes clouded with exhaustion, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of his revelation was finally too much to bear.

“What’s worse,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, “is who my real dad is.”

Your breath hitched, a wave of unease creeping up your spine. You swallowed thickly, bracing yourself for whatever he was about to say, though you knew nothing could have prepared you for this moment. “Who?” you asked, the word slipping out almost involuntarily, like you had to hear it from him to believe it.

JJ’s gaze darted away, his eyes fixing on the floor as if he couldn’t bear to meet yours. He let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. “Chandler Groff.”

The name struck you like a lightning bolt, leaving you stunned. Chandler Groff—the man who had been nothing but a shadowy figure in your and your friends' latest troubles. You had met him just once, in that cobweb-covered mansion, where his strange demeanor and intense fixation on the cursed amulet had left you all feeling uneasy. It was hard to believe that the same man pushing so relentlessly for your friends' to complete Wes' mission, the same man who insisted on the curse’s reality, was JJ’s biological father.

Your mouth went dry as you tried to process the new connection. “Chandler Groff?” you repeated, more to yourself than to JJ. The pieces began to click together—the urgency, the obsession with the amulet, his strange behavior after Wes’s sudden death. It was as if a curtain had been lifted, revealing a truth far more twisted than you could have imagined.

“Yeah,” JJ spat bitterly, his eyes filling with a mixture of pain and fury. “The guy who’s been trying to manipulate us into handing over that stupid amulet. The same guy who’s got the cops breathing down our necks over Wes’s death. That’s who my real dad is.”

You took a step closer, feeling the gravity of JJ’s emotions pull you in, the betrayal and anguish radiating off him like a palpable force. Your chest tightened at the sight of him, broken and raw in a way you had never seen before. “I can’t believe this,” you whispered, your voice thick with sorrow. “I’m so sorry, Jay.”

JJ’s face twisted in frustration, his jaw clenching as he shook his head vehemently. “No,” he snapped, his tone sharp but wavering. “No more sorries. I don’t want your pity or anyone else's. I’m done thinking about it, done feeling sorry for myself.” His voice cracked, revealing the thin line between his anger and despair. He took a deep breath, his fists curling at his sides as he forced himself to look at you.

“We’ll find that bastard,” he continued, his voice low but filled with a burning resolve. “Chandler’s up to something, and whatever it is, it can’t be good. He’s been playing us from the start. All that crap about Wes’s mission and the curse—it was all just a setup. We need to figure out what he really wants before he makes his next move.”

You nodded, a determined look crossing your face. “Then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll get to the bottom of this together, Jay. Whatever Chandler’s planning, he’s not going to get away with it."

For a fragment of a moment, JJ's expression eased. He took in a deep sigh as though your words breathed life back into him, exemplified by the way his fists unclenched themselves and the veins in his neck disappeared.

"I'm sorry if I worried you earlier," he mumbled an apology, his voice full of regret, "I wasn't thinking. As soon as I heard the news I.. I just saw red." His confession was candid, as if he was slowly coming to terms with everything he had just learned in the past 24 hours.

You took a sigh of relief mentally, giving JJ a faint smile of approval. "It's okay, I don't blame you for it. I think I would've done the same," you reassured with buoyancy in your voice, "maybe worse."

JJ replied to your sentiment with a faint chuckle and a tenuous head shake, appreciating your wit in the wake of the chaos plaguing his life.

"Y/n?" JJ muttered, his voice nearly mute.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't think I could handle this if you weren't here." He admitted with of tone of gravitas that you had never heard from him before. You knew that what he was saying was vulnerable for him to confess, which made your heart flutter in your chest.

"I don't think I deserve that much credit," you joked, trying to break up the tension that filled the room between the two of you. You wanted to be raw and honest with him, to tell him you look for him in every man you meet, but it didn't feel like the right time to do so. Not when he was still processing the news about his father.

"You don't even realize how much you do for all of us, for me." This was a side of JJ you hadn't seen much before, maybe in glimpses, but never fully. He was standing in front of you, his eyes still adorned with sorrow but masked by the veneration he had for you. You felt small under his burning gaze but he held his eye contact, although you swore he secretly knew how you were crumbling beneath his stare.

"Jay—"

"Will you just stay with me tonight?" JJ softly implored, his desperate eyes making it hard for you to say 'no'.

"But what if they ask why I was in here all night? You know they're nosy."

"Let them ask," he shrugged, lying down on the bed next to you, "c'mon. Just for tonight."

He was convincing, but it didn't help that you already had a burning penchant for him. You stood there for a moment as you took in his figure, tragically beautiful and maimed by malice in an unjustly harsh life. His eyes felt haunting to look at as they painted a picture of the grief he so desperately tried to run away from, but he couldn't hide it from you.

"Okay," you silently replied.

You slid off your shoes and delicately climbed your way next to the empty spot in the bed next to JJ. A pair of cerulean eyes stayed glued to you as you nuzzled carefully under the covers. You dare not look over as he watched you in fear that you would make things awkward if you acknowledged his glance.

Once you felt situated, you closed your eyes in hopes that you would quickly fall asleep and get through the night, but before you could drift off you felt an arm drape over your waist and pull you in. JJ gently placed your head into his chest, letting you feel the beating of his heart in the dead of silence. You didn't move. You wanted to take in the moment and capture it in your mind, knowing that one day you'd look back at where you were and admire whatever happened right then.

—

"Okay, this is a lot to take in," Pope interrupted, his voice breaking the heavy silence that had enveloped the room. "But we need to stay focused. Chandler’s part in all this—his connection to JJ—it complicates everything. We can't just let it slide."

You looked over at JJ, his frustration and sarcasm evident in his posture as he leaned back against the couch, arms crossed over his chest. "Tell me about it," he scoffed, his tone sharp, the sarcasm almost like a shield to deflect the rawness of what he had just shared.

Kiara leaned forward, her brow furrowed in thought as she looked between you and JJ. "So what do you suggest we do?" she asked, her voice steady, but the urgency was clear. "Because this... this whole thing is a mess."

JJ sat back against the couch, running a hand through his disheveled hair as he stared at the floor, his eyes distant. "I don't know," he muttered, frustration creeping into his tone. "I just... I need answers. We all do. Chandler Groff—he’s been playing us this whole time. And I don’t care what it takes, we’re going to find out what the hell he really wants from us."

Kiara exchanged a glance with Pope, then turned her gaze back to JJ, her expression serious. "We have to be careful. If we push too hard, we could end up walking right into his trap."

JJ nodded slowly, his jaw clenched, the tension radiating off him. "I know. But we need to find out what he's planning before he fucks us over." His voice was tight with anger and desperation, as if the weight of everything was finally hitting him.

Kiara gave a sharp nod, her expression resolute. "We can’t let him get away with whatever this is. But we need a plan. We can’t just go in blind."

Pope crossed his arms, clearly deep in thought. "Agreed. If we’re gonna do this, we need to stay one step ahead of him. Maybe we start by finding out more about Chandler’s connection to that amulet. The whole curse thing doesn't add up."

You looked between them, your mind racing. "And we need to figure out who else he’s been talking to, who’s been helping him. We might have enemies we don’t even know about yet."

JJ glanced at you, his eyes softer now, but still burning with that same fury. "Exactly. We need answers, and we need them fast." His tone dropped as he added, "I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending everything's normal."

"So we'll go find him," John B stated flatly, joining in on the commotion. His voice was steady, but there was an underlying edge to it that matched the intensity in the room.

JJ looked at him, eyes narrowing with determination. "Yeah. We find Chandler, get answers, and make him tell us exactly what the hell he’s after. No more games."

"Alright," Pope sighed, shaking his head but with a hint of resolve creeping in. "Then let’s do this."

He stood up, adjusting his shirt, the weight of the decision hanging in the air. Kiara let out a quiet breath, glancing at each of her friends as if to make sure they were all on the same page.

"Alright," she said, her voice firm despite the tension. "We stick to the plan—find Chandler, get answers, and stay smart about it."

JJ, now more determined than ever, stood up, the raw emotion in his eyes still burning, but his posture more focused than before. "We’ll go in, we’ll make him talk, and we’re walking out with answers. No one’s leaving empty-handed." His tone was cold, cutting through the room like a sharpened blade.

John B, always the one to lighten the mood, gave a half-grin, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "Let’s just hope Chandler doesn’t decide to pull some crazy stunt. I’d prefer a calm confrontation over a full-out brawl."

You couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at John B’s attempt to inject some humor into the moment. But as you glanced at JJ, you saw the weight of everything he was carrying on his shoulders, and it was clear that this wasn’t just another adventure to him. This was personal.

"We’ve got your back, Jay," you said, your voice soft but steady. "We’re in this together."

JJ looked over at you, a quiet acknowledgment in his eyes. "I know. Thanks."

—

The old house loomed in front of you, its once grand façade now cloaked in shadows. The mansion, still as eerie as ever, seemed to exhale a quiet menace. You stood there on the porch, a knot of anticipation tightening in your chest. Beside you, JJ's presence felt like a comfort, but the tension radiating off him was evident.

He gave the door a pointed look before knocking again, this time louder, more forceful, as if demanding an answer rather than simply waiting for one. It felt like an eternity before you heard the shuffling of footsteps from inside.

The door remained firmly shut, and just when you thought Chandler might not answer, the heavy locks rattled. The door creaked open, revealing Chandler standing in the doorway, his face unreadable. His cold blue eyes scanned you both for a moment, then his gaze flickered to the group standing a few steps behind you.

"Why are you here?" His voice was low, measured, though there was an edge to it that made it clear he wasn’t exactly thrilled by the visit.

JJ didn’t waste any time. His voice came out flat but with an undercurrent of something darker, something more urgent. "We need to talk. There's things we need to ask you about."

Chandler's eyes flickered over you both, sizing you up, his lips curling into something like a half-smile. He didn’t speak right away, his gaze lingering just a little too long, as if trying to decide whether to let you in or slam the door shut. The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, before he finally stepped back, motioning for you to enter.

“Alright,” Chandler said, his voice low and gravelly. “But we do this inside. The last thing I need is anyone overhearing this conversation.”

You exchanged a glance with JJ, his eyes full of fire and frustration. He wasn’t backing down, and neither were you. Together, you stepped past Chandler into the dimly lit interior of the mansion. The air inside was heavy with dust, and the smell of old wood and stale air lingered. The house was just as you remembered—huge, but strangely empty, like something had been hollowed out long ago.

“What do you two want?” Groff asked, his gaze shifting to the both of you.

JJ didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. He took a step forward, his jaw tight with suppressed fury. “Are you my real dad?” he asked, the words coming out sharp, cutting through the silence like a knife.

Chandler’s expression flickered for a moment, a brief flash of something unreadable crossing his face. He didn’t immediately answer. Instead, he stood there, a wall of silence between them.

“Are you?” JJ repeated, his voice growing louder, insistent. “Are you my real dad?”

The words hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. For a moment, the world seemed to stop. JJ stood frozen, his eyes wide with disbelief and anger, his fists clenching at his sides as if the truth were too much to process.

JJ shook his head, almost in disbelief, his voice tight with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded, stepping closer, his chest rising and falling with barely contained rage. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? Why all the games, all the lies?”

Chandler didn’t seem to flinch. He took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. “It wasn’t the right time,” he said coldly, his tone flat. “And, quite frankly, you wouldn’t have been ready to hear it.”

JJ’s face twisted with anger, his eyes flashing with hurt. “You’re fucking unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath, the weight of years of manipulation and deceit crashing down on him.

You stepped closer, watching the exchange unfold, feeling a mixture of sympathy and anger for both of them. “So this whole time, you’ve been using us?” you asked, your voice low and edged with disbelief. “This whole thing—Wes, the amulet—was all part of your plan?”

Chandler’s gaze sharpened, his expression unreadable. “Plans don’t happen overnight,” he said smoothly, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “Everything has its purpose. And now you’re part of that purpose, whether you like it or not.”

JJ looked like he was about to explode, his body shaking with barely contained rage. But instead, he took a deep breath, forcing the words out through clenched teeth. “We’re done being your puppets. Whatever your plan is, we’re stopping it.”

Chandler’s smile widened, but it was thin, like a wolf’s grin. “You think you can stop it?” he said, his voice dripping with arrogance. “You don’t even know what you’re up against.”

“We’ll find out,” JJ snapped. “And when we do, you’re going to wish you never dragged us into this.”

"Not so fast," Chandler warned, stepping forward, his eyes never leaving JJ’s. "You have something I want."

JJ didn’t flinch. His blue eyes were burning with defiance, his chest rising and falling with quick breaths. “I’m not handing over shit, Groff,” he growled, voice low and filled with venom. “You want something, you’re gonna have to earn it.”

Chandler’s lips curled into a cold smile, his posture never wavering. He looked almost pleased with the reaction. “Oh, I don’t think you fully understand yet, JJ. I’m not asking for permission. I’m telling you—you will give it to me.”

There was a brief pause, the tension in the room so thick it could be cut with a knife. Chandler’s gaze flicked to you, then back to JJ, as if trying to gauge the next move.

"You have no idea what you're dealing with," Chandler continued, his tone dangerously calm. "That amulet you’re holding onto? It’s not just some trinket. It’s mine. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get it back."

Before you could even process what was happening, Chandler’s hand shot out like lightning, grabbing you by the wrist with an iron grip. The surprise hit you all at once as he yanked you forward, his movements swift and precise. Your breath caught in your throat, panic flooding your senses.

You struggled instinctively, but Chandler’s hold was unyielding, his fingers digging into your skin as he jerked you closer. “Stay where you are,” he ordered, his voice cold and commanding.

JJ took a step forward, eyes widening in shock as he lunged to get closer. “Let her go, Chandler!” His voice cracked with a mixture of rage and fear, but Chandler didn’t release his grip.

“You think I’m going to play fair?” Chandler sneered, his hand moving to his jacket pocket with casual menace. “No. You’re going to give me what I want, or she dies.”

You barely had time to process the words before Chandler’s knife was suddenly there, pressed against your throat. The cold metal against your skin made you freeze, heart hammering in your chest. You could feel the danger now, the raw, visceral threat. Chandler’s voice was a whisper in your ear, almost playful in its cruelty.

“Hand it over, or I’ll carve her up right here.”

Your pulse thundered in your ears, and you could barely breathe. Everything around you seemed to slow down, the tension rising with every passing second. Chandler’s grip on you tightened, the knife at your throat a constant, terrifying reminder of how quickly everything had shifted from a confrontation to something far worse.

“JJ,” you gasped, your voice trembling despite yourself, “don’t... don’t do it. Just—”

JJ’s eyes flicked to yours, the pain and conflict written plainly across his face. He looked as if every muscle in his body was screaming at him to fight, to do anything but give in, but there was no room for error now, not with the knife pressed so dangerously close to your skin. He swallowed hard, his chest rising and falling in shallow, rapid breaths.

“Okay, I’ll give it to you,” JJ finally agreed, his voice barely more than a whisper, each word sounding like it was being dragged from his throat. His hand reached into his pocket, pulling out the small, worn bag that held the amulet. He held it up, fingers trembling as he slowly raised it for Chandler to see.

“No, JJ!” you protested, your voice a strangled cry, tears welling in your eyes. The thought of him handing it over to Chandler, of giving in to the man who had already caused so much pain, twisted something deep inside of you. But the sharp edge of the blade pressed harder against your throat, silencing you, forcing you into a terrifying stillness.

Chandler’s lips curled into a satisfied smirk, his eyes gleaming with a sinister triumph. “Good choice,” he cooed mockingly, his grip on you tightening as he stretched his other hand out towards JJ. The sight of him, so confident, so sure he had won, made your blood boil despite the fear gripping your heart.

JJ's hand trembled as he extended the bag towards Chandler. His eyes stayed locked on yours, searching your face for any sign of fear or pain. Your breath hitched when Chandler’s cold fingers grazed the bag, snatching it away. He wasted no time, pushing you forward with a force that sent you stumbling straight into JJ’s arms.

You collided into his chest, his embrace closing around you in an instant. His body curled protectively over yours, shielding you from Chandler's reach as he held you close. “It’s okay,” JJ whispered into your ear, his voice ragged with relief. “I’ve got you.” He didn’t even look back at Groff, all his focus on you, as if the danger had passed the moment you were in his grasp.

But behind him, Chandler's expression shifted as he opened the bag and peered inside. The smirk on his face vanished, replaced by a scowl of rage. The amulet wasn’t there. It was nothing but a ruse. He’d been tricked, and it didn’t take him long to realize who had played him.

With a deadly calm, Chandler called out, “JJ.”

The sound of his name, dripping with cold malice, made JJ's spine straighten. He pulled back just enough to look at you, a fleeting moment of confusion in his eyes. Then, he turned around, his gaze narrowing as he faced Chandler.

But it was already too late. In one swift motion, Chandler lunged forward. The blade gleamed in the dim light for a split second before it drove into JJ’s stomach. The impact was sickening, a hollow thud as the knife sank deep.

Your scream tore through the air, raw and filled with terror. JJ’s eyes widened in shock, his breath hitching as the pain hit him like a wave. He staggered, his arms instinctively clutching his abdomen as blood started to stain his shirt, dark and spreading fast.

Chandler’s face was a mask of fury, his hand still gripping the hilt of the knife. He twisted it slightly, a cruel sneer curling his lips. “You thought you could fool me?” he spat, his voice dripping with venom. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

JJ’s knees buckled, his body sagging as the strength drained out of him. You lunged forward, catching him before he could collapse completely, your hands desperately pressing over his wound in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding.

“JJ, stay with me,” you begged, your voice breaking as you looked up at him, tears streaming down your face. His blue eyes were clouded with pain, but he managed to meet your gaze, a weak, rueful smile tugging at his lips.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, his voice barely a whisper. “I thought... I thought I could protect you.”

You shook your head, your hands trembling as you held him. “No, no, JJ, don’t say that. You’re going to be okay. We’ll get you help. Just stay with me, please.”

Chandler ran off into the darkness, leaving you holding onto JJ as he slumped against you. Panic surged through your veins, and you looked down at his wound, your hands trembling as you pressed down in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. The warm, sticky blood coated your fingers, and you could feel his pulse weakening beneath your touch.

"This isn’t happening," you whispered frantically, shaking your head in denial. Your wide-open eyes darted around the room, searching for anything you could use to help. "No, no, no," you muttered under your breath, your voice thick with desperation.

You glanced up at JJ’s face, his eyes half-lidded and unfocused, the pain written all over his features. “Stay with me, Jay,” you begged, tears streaming down your cheeks as you cradled his head in your hands.

"John B! Pope!" you screamed, your voice raw as it echoed through the old house. The sound reverberated off the walls, mixing with the eerie silence that followed Chandler’s exit. The urgency in your call felt like a knife in your chest, twisting deeper with each passing second.

JJ's voice was barely a whisper, strained and breathless as he looked up at you, his eyes half-lidded but still so intensely blue. “Y/N, I never got to tell you… but I love you.” His words came out fragile, like he was using his last bit of strength just to say them. The raw, unfiltered emotion behind them made your heart lurch in your chest.

Your breath hitched, the tears you’d been holding back finally breaking free, streaming down your cheeks in an unrelenting flow. You shook your head vehemently, the desperation clear in your voice as you clutched his face between your trembling hands. “No, JJ, no," you choked out, your voice thick with emotion. "This isn’t what’s happening. You’re not going to leave me. You can’t—” You could barely get the words out, your chest heaving with sobs.

His gaze softened as he looked at you, his lips curling into the faintest of smiles despite the pain. He reached up weakly, his hand brushing against your cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice a hushed whisper, barely audible over the pounding of your heart. “I just needed you to know.”

You leaned into his touch, your tears wetting his hand as you pressed your forehead against his. “Don’t do this, Jay. Don’t say goodbye. We still have so much to do, so many plans. You promised me we'd get out of this together.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, as if soaking in your presence, before opening them again, his gaze full of a love and longing that broke your heart into a million pieces. “You’re my everything, Y/N,” he admitted, his voice cracking with the weight of his words. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“You’re going to tell me every day for the rest of our lives,” you insisted, your voice pleading as you squeezed his hand tightly, trying to ground him, to keep him here with you. “You hear me? You’re staying with me. I can’t do this without you, Jay. Please, don’t leave me.”

He gave a small, shaky nod, like he was trying to hold on, but you could see the light starting to fade from his eyes, the pain overtaking him. You felt his grip on your hand slacken slightly, and it sent a jolt of pure terror through you.

“No! No, stay with me, JJ. Please!” you begged, pressing your forehead against his, your sobs turning into broken, gasping cries. You could barely see through your tears, your entire world narrowing down to just the two of you, in this moment, as you clung to him with everything you had.

You shook him frantically, your hands pressing against his chest, trying to force his heart to beat beneath your trembling fingers. It felt like you were grasping at the wind, like the very essence of him was slipping through your hands. The sticky warmth of his blood covered your skin, a horrifyingly vivid reminder that time was running out, slipping away with every breathless second.

“JJ, wake up,” you begged, your voice raw and broken, cracking under the weight of your anguish. It felt like you were underwater, drowning in the reality of what was happening, each sob choked out like it was your last. His face, once so full of life, now looked pale and ghostly, his blue eyes shut as if he was already slipping away to someplace you couldn’t reach.

“You can’t die here. You can’t leave me!” The words tore from your throat in a strangled scream, filled with a desperation that felt like it could rip you apart from the inside. Your hands pumped his chest with a rhythm that faltered, each push driven by a frantic hope, a silent prayer, as if sheer willpower could bring him back. Tears blurred your vision, but you couldn’t stop, wouldn’t let yourself believe that this was the end.

You could feel the life draining out of him, like the color bleeding from a watercolor painting washed away by rain. His skin grew colder beneath your touch, and you leaned over him, pressing your forehead to his, your tears mingling with the blood staining his shirt.

“Please, JJ, please,” you whispered, your voice breaking into a thousand tiny shards, each one sharper than the last. It was a fragile, fractured sound, more a plea to the universe than a call to him. “I need you,” you breathed, pressing your trembling lips to his forehead, the coldness of his skin like ice against your warmth. “I need you to stay, for me.”

The room felt like it was caving in, the air heavy with an unbearable weight. Your hands pressed against his wound, blood seeping through your fingers, warm and sticky, like the life was slipping away from him and into the cracks between your knuckles. The world outside seemed distant, muted, as if it no longer mattered. It was just you and him, suspended in a moment that felt like it was slipping away, stolen by time’s unforgiving hands.

Tears blurred your vision, painting the scene in watercolors of red and black, smearing his face into something unrecognizable. You choked on a sob, the sound raw and ragged, your body trembling with the force of your desperation. “JJ, don’t do this,” you pleaded, your words spilling out in a rush, your voice laced with a pain so deep it felt like it might consume you. “You can’t leave me. Not now. Not like this.”

His chest barely moved, the rise and fall so faint it was almost imperceptible, like the flicker of a candle about to be snuffed out. His eyes fluttered, half-open, clouded with pain, but still searching for you, trying to hold on to whatever sliver of light he could find in your gaze. The silence between you was deafening, filled with everything you wished you had said, every moment you’d taken for granted.

“Please,” you sobbed, your voice cracking, raw and exposed. “I love you. I love you so much, JJ.” Your words were a desperate confession, one you wished you’d said a thousand times before but had only found the courage to say now, when it felt like it was already too late. Your fingers curled into his shirt, clinging to him like he was the only thing anchoring you to this world.

You could feel him slipping away, the light in his eyes dimming like the last rays of a setting sun. His lips parted, a shallow breath escaping, but no words came out. Just a faint, ghostly smile, the kind you’d only ever seen when he was hiding something, some quiet secret he held close to his chest. It was haunting, the way he looked at you, like he was already seeing something beyond this world.

“No,” you whispered fiercely, shaking your head as if you could defy reality itself. “You’re not dying here. Not now. Not like this.” Your hands cupped his face, willing him to stay, to hold on just a little longer. But his eyes slipped shut, the last vestiges of life draining from his features, leaving behind a stillness that was more terrifying than anything you’d ever faced.

Before you could utter another word, the door burst open, and your friends rushed in, their faces twisted into expressions of pure horror. They stopped short, frozen by the scene before them—JJ’s lifeless body cradled in your arms, blood pooling beneath him, and your own face streaked with tears. The room fell into an eerie silence, filled only with the echo of your sobs, the kind that tore from deep within your chest like a howl into the void. It was a silence laced with a devastating realization, a shared understanding that this was Groff's doing—that he had orchestrated this final, cruel act.

You couldn’t bring yourself to look up, couldn’t face the shock and grief in their eyes. Instead, you pressed your forehead against JJ’s, as if in some desperate, final attempt to connect with whatever piece of him might still linger. Your body shook violently, your cries filling the space, haunting and raw. It was the sound of a heart breaking, of a love being ripped away far too soon.

"JJ," you whimpered, your voice barely a whisper, a prayer to whatever force could undo this nightmare. You ran your fingers through his hair, your touch gentle, like you were afraid to break whatever fragile illusion still held him close. His skin was already turning cold, the warmth you had known and loved fading away, replaced by a chilling emptiness.

You kissed his cheek, your lips trembling against his skin, tasting the salt of your own tears. The bitter taste of grief washed over you as you whispered, "I love you," words you had said so many times before but had never felt this heavy, this final. The love of your life lay still in your arms, his spirit gone, leaving behind only a hollow shell.

The others stood by helplessly, tears streaming down their own faces as they bore witness to your agony, each of them shattered in their own way. But none of them dared to interrupt. This moment, this unbearable pain, belonged to you. It was a sorrow too deep for words, a loss that hung heavy in the air, sinking into the very bones of the room.

You held onto him tighter, refusing to let go, as if by sheer will alone you could pull him back from the abyss. But deep down, you knew it was too late. JJ was gone, and you were left with the echoes of what could have been, the cruel, jagged edges of a future that would never come to pass.

[huskymaine]

Okay, this is long and since English is like my third language I am not sure if I can cover all my points, but here we go : 

from the video above genin children working adult’s job weird era of peace, no age limit

I don’t know how that video above shows genin children working adult’s job because in that video only adults who works and no matter how talented Boruto is, he can’t graduate from Academy yet before 12-13, unlike Itachi and Kakashi in the past.

so that video means nothing as it expected after so much loss people would switch to different way of life style when you can not maintain your shinobi lifestyle similar to japan after ww2 but yet we don’t know what kind of laws and regulation and age limits hokage placed on like they used to do in shinobi rank.

That video is a mere observation of current worldbuilding, to show that their world is changing post-war. The post explicitly shows the difference between new era and old era and how kids on new gen is infinitely safer than kids on Naruto’s era and Kakashi’s era, I don’t see how acknowledge that means that the video means nothing? We don’t need the franchise to bare their constitution or other complicated politics, Naruto and Boruto are after all shounen shows with kids as their demographic intended audience.

academy students don’t have to be a ninja its natural because most of the skilled fighting shinobi died there are no one to entrust like iruka did to naruto and feudal lords investing more on other sources as lack of old skilled shinobis in the village from recent novel naruto retsuden, but what about age limit for these courses, as we know ninjutsu can be dangerous, only chakra or ninshu are harmless

You seem to have assumption that age limit doesn’t exist on new era, then why Himawari hasn’t been a ranked shinobi on latest chapter even though she already unlocked Byakugan on The Day Naruto Became Hokage? In Itachi and Kakashi’s era Himawari would definitely be pressured to be shinobi. But in current era she doesn’t, nor her friends.

you said about academy student but what about some very skilled shinobi especially in adult age can they gave up being ninja suddenly or will be punished we don’t know, never showed deeply, in what term they can quit being a ninja, there can be exception, we know hokage has the ultimate authority, he can decline anyone’s request, so no fair or legal rights for them has shown and can they leave the village permanently?

In the video, many adults quit being shinobi and use their ninjutsu to be firefighter or mailman or even actor. “Punished” “term” “exception”, maybe they don’t show them because they don’t exist? Sasuke is currently away from village for a long time and the Hokage Naruto is fine with just seldom sporadic hawks message. Kakashi and Gai are were in the hot spring and Kakashi told the Hokage to not call him because he was resting. Even on Sarutobi’s era Tsunade can dip out for good and there’s no ‘punishment’, ‘term’, etc, only Jiraiya hunter her because Konoha was in crisis after Orochimaru’s invasion and he didn’t want to be Hokage.

former ninja can be mean who used to fight in war, as i said most ninja population died, no wars no mission no profit so they switch to different professions even in dark era many used to do non shinobi works, it’s not a big deal, i don’t understand why do they even need shinobi culture, it should have been banned creates police and especial military for inside use who will not be stationed in only konoha but in whole land of fire and border police and especial ninjutsu fighter to counter aliens, this is why all shinobi villages should turn into like hot spring village named yugakure

Wait, I don’t understand, what shinobi culture does they maintain? Ninjutsu are no longer used for killing. Chuunin exam is now just a friendly match between countries with more secure land and equipment (except from aliens). You want all villages to be hot spring?

ninjutsu usage is not the problem here because dark times they used to do so but it did not generate much profit for which they can not sustain shinobi lifestyle now that they are less shinobi and you hashirama cells like many miracles its easy for one person to use without many shinobi, what kind of law regarding it, can shinobi used for their personal trade or can they sell it to other village , did hokage give these people freedom operating freely is the main issue that needs to highlight not through other’s dialogue

The video shows people use ninjutsu freely now. There’s also ninjutsu scroll beam in Boruto movie for civilian. Those things are clearly under Hokage’s permission and while Naruto disapproved the use of ninjutsu scroll beam for tournament, especially in secret like Boruti, Katakure is not punished nor lost his job.

restrain in what manner or term, in what conduct, we have seen ryogi like rogue kekegenkai kid sent to prison who was victim yet shin clones go to orphanage but they try to kidnap sarada, weird contradiction for naruto’s term meaning there are no especial term and consideration for ‘restrain’ operation, no highlight

I thought that sentence is already clear enough. “Don’t KILL but RESTRAIN”. Whether they got prison or orphanage or even death sentence it can be discussed later but what is actively discouraged on Kakashi’s reign (as per Kakashi Retsuden) is ALL Shinobi’s instinct to kill their opponent on sight instead of attempting to keep their lives for further judgement.

naturally it would improve since after every war there will be economy boom similar to real life but what about small villages like amagakure or former shinobi like kawaki’s father, they said so many shinobi died yet they could not track down impoverished shinobi like kawaki’s father with the help of shinobi union

I believe in Boruto anime Amegakure refused Shinobi Union’s help because they still view Pain as their God and so they distrusted the Shinobi Union who saw Pain as terrorist leader. As for Kawaki’s father, if you think peaceful era means there’s ABSOLUTELY no poor person, boy I got a bad news for you. Especially since the said poor person refused to take decent job, drowned himself in alcohol, and prefer to use his son as punchbag instead of going to therapy (which exist in Kakashi’s reign). 

may not be mercenary but in recent boruto chapter konohamaru forcefully evicts civilians from luxurious house for eida’s accommodation, similar to mercenary work.

I admittedly only watch Boruto for Kakashi’s scene and after almost a year pass I forgot most of them but when I said “mercenaries” I mean their main job is murder. The definition of mercenary :

a private individual who fights for money or other payment in an armed conflict, rather than for political interests. They are also known as soldiers of fortune, hired guns, or mercs.

I... honestly don’t know how that connect with Konohamaru’s action which probably for the sake of civilian’s safety (cmiiw I really don’t know about this). He didn’t fight anyone, he didn’t kill anyone, he didn’t became mercenary, I mean the lethal one.

its peaceful when most of your shinobi population died that you can not sustain ninja village or lifestyle turn to alternatives yet wars would eventually happen as long as small villages not included in 5 kage summit or shinobi village stop being dependent on feudal lords mercy and budget, shikimaru shinden is reminder of that, why not become a normal village whose main objective should be using chakra only or some non fatal useful ninjutsu not any violent shinobi works

Because Boruto, like Naruto, is Shounen franchise. You can’t separate violence from Shounen. Next question.

Okay, for in-world perspective, like it or not after 4th Shinobi War Konoha has reputation as the strongest village, yet the one that still need and ask help from other village. That’s the reason why Union between Shinobi is still standing. They can’t completely turn into pacifist because they have reputation to uphold and balance of power in their hand. 

they care more about skyscrapers not about justice or laws or rights and freedom and needs and benefit of individuals and minority and vulnerable people of the village or orphans 

Minority and vulnerable people of village, which one? What freedom anyone had been deprived? As you can see, people are free to choose their jobs (unlike Kakashi himself who literally got mandated as ANBU then teacher). Hyuuga slavery are no longer exist. It’s practically a common dudebros’ joke that there’s no orphan in Boruto (Kawaki still had his father before he got sold and hidden, Mitsuki is Orochimaru’s weird child, Sumire had her parents). 

I don’t think I even mentioned skyscrapers in that meta?

or how past should be highlighted or dark side of WOF fire being informed and its collective and individual history in the academy, there is no use for ethics or justice as long as you are abide by the village, village is so good in hiding their contradiction, 

I don’t understand, who do you think will uphold ethic and justice if not the village who already change their way? Obito’s world of delusion? Madara the strongest warmonger? Sasuke the Supreme Leader? Village is just a place when many people from different clans gathered, united, and chose one person as their leader (the method of choosing may vary). How corrupt village will be depend of the leader, in which Danzo is already dead and the 2 old hag had no political power anymore.

modern day USA and China even after certain periods we know the dark history of usa and china but for konoha’s case no typical japanese mindset about their ww2 history yet narratives glorify it as side of light or heroic place with full of moral, bull shite writing

Now I understand that you are upset about Uchiha Massacre being non-public. I don’t like that either. But, ultimately the only people that had right to disclosure the truth are people from Uchiha clan a.k.a Itachi and Sasuke. We know that Itachi absolutely didn’t want that to happen. Sasuke is a Shadow Hokage, he can speak the truth if he wants to. Why Sasuke doesn’t want it? Perhaps because in the end he wanted to emulate Itachi. I mean, that’s the whole reason of VOTE2.

(As for why Itachi doesn’t want to disclosure the truth, I will just say that although Itachi chose the dumbest method and Danzo is absolutely disgusting to instigate it, I as a citizen of Indonesia, often dubbed as Real-Life Konoha, kinda understand why Itachi didn’t want his family to be remembered as people who staged a coup. I will give you an elaborate answer if you asked.)

Look, I am not saying that Kakashi’s reign (and then Naruto) is a perfect country, with absolutely no flaws. It’s impossible to create in our world and it’s double impossible to create in a Shounen world when conflict and problem must happen to create a story.

I just wanna appreciate some improvement that Kakashi made in his reign as Hokage because I am Kakashi fan.

This segment is often ignored but I like it so much because it shows a glimpse of how ninja society changed in the era of peace (Blank Period-Boruto era). So some changes that happens are :

- Academy students don’t have to be a ninja 

- They can give up or fail graduation exam and will not be mocked for it (unlike Naruto in the past)

- There’s mention of “Former Ninjas” meaning that probably many ninjas are capable to quit being shinobi in peaceful era, probably because of the decreasing demand for shinobi

- Ninjutsu are widely used on non-military routine tasks.

- It’s explained in the novel, but now there’s rule “don’t kill but restrain” in ninja world, so now it’s heavily forbidden for ninjas to kill each other. So now ninjas are not “mercenaries”, at least most of them.

- Now that shinobi’s QoL are improved rapidly, I hope that bunshin will not create employment issues.

It’s so different from old bloody grime that is Naruto era. Kakashi’s era is worse, Jiraiya’s era is much worse, Hashirama’s era is much much worse. Interesting that the dream started with Hashirama (and Madara)’s era, yet the improvement is not instantaneous, but needs many steps. Still, I hope that we will know more about how Konoha and ninja world in general developed from military state into Metropolis during Blank period but Naruto franchise is primary about shounen fighting so oh well.

Some info from novels, spoiler warning for Retsuden series

Keep reading

[jifloulette]

Hello I'd like to request something with Bachira from blue lock. Probably school au please also have a good day ＼(^^)／

-🪷

❀ — 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆, 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. || b. meguru x gn! reader

genre ; fluff, comfort (tiniest smidge of angst too)

synopsis ; you were always there for Meguru when he was at his lowest. always comforting him, telling him that he was doing great and that you will never stop loving him. it isn't any different when it's you that needs his light to shine your way through the hardest of times.

word count ; 0.9k

warnings ; academic pressure, a bit of angst during y/n's rant,

author's note ; THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTINGGGGG!!! i love meguru so much, he is so fine and he deserves so much more love and appreciation!!! i hope you enjoyed what i made, anon. i hope this is school au enough for you huhu, thought of this because exam seasons are next next week. thank you sosososo much again for requesting!!

You were Meguru's first.

His first friend, his first love, his first everything.

You were always there when he needed you most. Whenever he lost a match, failed a really important test, or if he just felt sad. You were there to motivate him to keep going, to go outside with a smile plastered on his face. You knew the words to say and the actions to do whenever he felt downhearted, maybe that's why he loved you so so much. He always kept to himself that he would return the favor to you, two times greater.

And there it was, the time when you needed him.

It was just right before exam season started, the two of you had been drowning yourselves in your studies, not even having time to spend with each other. It made you sad, it made Meguru even sadder because what do you mean you wouldn't be able to cuddle with him? To give him forehead kisses? To whisper sweet nothings in his ear? And as the good boyfriend he is, he obviously needed to check up on you.

He checked your room first, wondering if you were still studying, you weren't there. He thought, "oh, maybe they're in the kitchen, getting snacks! It wouldn't hurt to take a break!", you weren't there either. He was starting to worry, so he checked outside. "Y/n? Baby, where are you?", you weren't there either. Now he was really worried, what if something happened to you? You wouldn't leave without telling him, right? Only then did he hear your sniffles that you oh so desperately tried to hide, but he knew you better than anyone else, he knew where you were now.

He checked your guys' shared bathroom and there you were, his prized possession, his love, crying on the bathroom floor. His instincts immediately went and hugged you as tight as he thought would be comfortable for you. "Baby, oh baby, what's wrong? Why're ya crying? Did something happen?", Meguru asked. You could only nod, still having some tears flow down your eyes. He wiped off your tears and helped you up, going to the living room so that you could sit down on something comfortable. "Lemme just get some water for you, 'kay?", the boy told you before going to the kitchen.

Once he got back to give you the cup of water, you had stopped crying, but your nose was puffy, and you were sniffling. "Are ya ready to talk about what happened, love?", he questioned. "Yes Megu.", you answered. You took your time with what was going on in your head recently, Meguru didn't mind at all. "I...I've been getting stressed lately a..and I've been wondering if I'll ever be good enough to get good grades and if I'll ever study at my dream university..I-i don't know what to do anymore..", your voice broke at the last part and you couldn't help it anymore, you cried into Meguru's arms, staining his sweater but he didn't mind it at all. "I see.. baby, I know ya better than anyone, and I know for a fact that yer gonna pass those exams, hell, yer gonna ace it! You're such a hardworking and persistent person, y/n.. I know yer gonna get what you deserve!" the two-toned haired boy in front of you reminded, "I just feel like as if I have this image of myself that I have to keep up for others, and if I do something wrong, it'll ruin my future..", you replied, "Baby, you don't need to put up this image for anyone, I know you like the back of my hand, yer' gonna have such a bright future ahead of you, the two of us will. Everything's gonna be okay, alright?", Meguru stated and god, were you so glad to have him.

"Do you wanna have short break with me, ynnie..?", he asked. You nodded in response, a small smile starting to grow on your face. As the most unpredictable person you know, he picked you up bridal style all the way to the two of yours' shared bedroom and put you down gently, you were flustered with his sudden action but oh were you so relieved, studying nonstop was so draining but just by being with your boyfriend made all your worries disappear as if they never existed. "Oh, I missed your touch so so much, baby! Thank you for takin' a break from studying with me, even if it's short", Meguru remarked, giving you a kiss shortly after. "Thank Megu for being there for me just right now, I don't know what I could've done without you..", you answered back.

When the day of the most dreaded exams finally arrived, you weren't worried anymore going inside the school campus. You weren't scared that you'd fail or get a low score, instead you were confident that you were going to ace those exams, even more so now that your own significant other said so.

Getting your notebook out of your schoolbag to review just a bit more before the test actually started, there was a small post-it note peeking out of it. "Hey, sweet love honeybunch baby! Let's crush these exams together, eh? I know for sure you're going to, just dunno bout' me hehe!", the note said with a few hearts drawn around it. You cringed a bit at the nickname, but you knew he was just trying to uplift you, so you let it slide.

Whenever Meguru was down, you would always be there to motivate him and whenever you were the down one, you now knew that Meguru would always be there. You were definitely going to ace these exams, for you and for Meguru.

©🇯​​🇮​​🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇪​, do not steal, translate, or repost any of my writings anywhere else.

[who-is-page]

Wag Those Tail Feathers: The Wonders of Alterhuman Courtship

Author: Page Type: Essay Words: 1,065 Summary: Page's perspective on alterhuman courtship, as an individual who has been both on the receiving and giving ends of it.

[Part of the Sol System’s Alterhuman Writing Project for 2024. If you don’t want to see these posts, block the tag #inkedclaws]

As a polyamorous alterhuman, I’ve had the wonderful experience of being in relationships with people who have a variety of different courtship instincts— sometimes even all at the same time! Including my own instincts, it’s led up to some interesting realizations about the variety and diversity of expressions of love, and how wonderful it can be to be loved by an alterhuman (and to be an alterhuman in love, too).

My personal experiences, notably, revolve specifically around being nonhuman and this applies to a majority of my partners as well, which influences the flavor of this discussion. It’s been a wonder to be the target of a feathery mating dance, to be wooed with draconic jewelry and treasures, or to have my partner jump out with a meal, as proud as could be at displaying their hunting skills for a mate. It’s not necessarily just a nonhuman thing, either, of course; my orthohuman partner exhibits some similar sort of feelings and actions, too! Something which comes across especially strong in his hunt-and-gather supply-hoarding behavior in video games. But there’s something so especially intimate about having your alterhuman partner court you in a way unique to their species identity. It’s a beyond flattering form of trust, love, and affection.

And as an alterhuman who has targeted my partners, alterhuman and orthohuman alike, with my own affections, it’s also uniquely affirming to have your partners engage with your varieties of courtship for your species. There’s something incredibly special to have them try to learn your rituals and woo you in turn, even if they don’t have the same instincts driving them. It’s love with intention, a conscious effort to learn a language that’s typically foreign to them or which they might otherwise never come across on such a personal level. It may not always be perfectly executed, but the intentions behind them make them perfect regardless.

I’m someone who’s fully public about my alterhumanity. I don’t hide that I’m a dog and (luckily) no one especially seems to care in the day-to-day when I’m meeting up with strangers and acquantinces. But it’s become an important part of my dating life that potential partners need to not only be aware of my alterhumanity and accept it, but they also need to interact with it. You could argue that my spouse set the bar high for any potential future partners with how he took to my canine-ness and plurality like a fish to water, but I’m of the opinion that it’s something that should be the norm, not something so utterly unexpected by many.

Being able to engage in alterhuman courtship with your partner, as serious or as silly as it may fundamentally end up being, shouldn’t be something that you feel is utterly unreachable, that you yearn for but never feel like you’ll be able to reach. Alterhuman courtship is a wonderous experience; something that I think it’s not only important for alterhuman folks to be able to freely do with those they love most, but also to be on the receiving end of, too. It can be easy to default to the status quo in relationships, because of the societal pressure around us. Normativity around romance, sex, and even platonic affections is something that is constantly at play in the backgrounds of our culture and which embeds itself into our conciousnesses in unexpected and often invisible ways; and it’s difficult to dissect these without exposing ourselves to what some might list as “weird” or “unusual” urges and behaviors. But we can’t unpack the shame or embarrassment that might be holding us back from engaging with these urges unless we actually let ourselves acknowledge the collective, confusing feelings abound within them. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to shrug our shoulders and simply say, “I suppose I’ll never find someone who can accept me as my [species] and all that entails,” or to just resign ourselves to having to hide a part of ourselves away forever to maintain relationships.

We should toss these types of negative feelings aside and embrace our alterhuman courtship urges in earnest: that sometimes we’re not fully human, or we’re human a little to the right, and that inevitably makes romance, sex, and platonic interactions a little different for us than it might look for standard folks as displayed on a big screen. It’s not a failure on our part, and it’s not something that needs to be squirreled away due to internalized respectability politics. We can love ourselves and find love in others, for and by being ourselves. We can experience unique forms of love and adore those factors in others. This is, to me, a part of the territory that comes with being alterhuman or knowing alterhumans. It’s a part of what makes life wonderous.

In my partnerships, I love getting to bring my partners gifts. I love to bring them tiny treasures, small things from my system’s hoard, to pebble at them almost like a penguin would (sometimes including a silly little dance, of love!) It goes beyond standard gift-giving in the way that most of the people I’ve met would think of it, where presents that large are often reserved for special occasions like holidays and birthday. But it’s something I do year-round, to show my partners that they’re always on my mind, and that what is mine is their’s, too. I do the same thing with food; while normally incredibly food protective, both due to species identity and past food insecurities, I make the effort to share my favorite foods with my partners for the same fundamental reasons. To share my food, my bed, my life— and to have my partners recognize that as not just general displays of love, but as specifically displays of love intertwined with what I am, is something which displays a deep level of understanding and acceptance for my species. It’s something I’m grateful for beyond words, but it’s also something that I don’t want us as a community to accept as unheard of, or as just a one-off, lucky occurrence. Love like this is achievable and rewarding, both as a recipient of such alterhuman affections and as the giver. And we all deserve to experience it, in whatever form of love that we feel most comfortable with. Don’t tell yourself otherwise; don’t settle for less just because you feel like you have no other choice.

[swrkn]

Your fluff with Oliver, I like it sooo much. Can you, please, do another one fluff with him 🌹 🖤

Calm night and quiet moment

Oliver x g/n reader

Genre ; fluff

Author note ; aww thank you so much <33 ofc i’ll do another one for him :) this one is quite short because i’ll post another one in a day or two ;)

The night was calm, the kind of quiet that only came after a long day. You and Oliver had decided to take a break from everything—school, training, and the endless chaos of life. He’d suggested a late-night bike ride to the hills, promising it’d be worth the trip.

Now, the two of you sat side by side on a soft patch of grass, your bikes leaning against a tree behind you. Above, the stars stretched endlessly, their soft glow painting the sky in delicate constellations.

Oliver lay back, his hands folded behind his head, a rare, peaceful expression on his face. “Told you it’d be worth it,” he said, his voice low but tinged with satisfaction.

You smiled, glancing over at him. “Yeah, you were right. This view’s incredible.”

For a while, neither of you spoke, content to let the silence wrap around you like a warm blanket. The cool breeze carried the faint scent of wildflowers, and the only sound was the soft rustling of leaves in the wind.

Then, out of nowhere, Oliver let out a quiet chuckle.

“What?” you asked, curious.

He turned his head to look at you, a teasing glint in his eyes. “You’ve got grass in your hair.”

You blinked. “I do?”

“Yeah, hold still,” he said, sitting up. His hand reached out, gently plucking a small blade of grass from your hair.

For a moment, his fingers lingered near your temple, and his usual smirk softened into something more genuine. “There. Got it.”

You felt your face warm, but you managed to keep your tone light. “Guess I’m not as graceful as I thought.”

Oliver laughed softly, leaning back again. “You’re fine. I mean, I’ve seen you trip over flat ground before, so…”

“Hey!” you protested, playfully swatting at his arm.

He dodged easily, his laughter filling the quiet night. “Relax, I’m just saying it’s part of your charm.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “Sure, Olivet. Whatever you say.”

The conversation drifted from one topic to another—favorite childhood memories, funny stories about Clover, and dreams for the future. It was easy, natural, and before you knew it, hours had passed.

Eventually, you both fell into another comfortable silence, staring up at the stars.

“You know,” Oliver said quietly, his voice almost lost in the breeze, “it’s nice, just… being here. No pressure, no expectations. Just us.”

You turned to look at him, surprised by the softness in his tone. “Yeah,” you agreed. “It’s nice to slow down once in a while.”

Oliver gave a small nod, his eyes reflecting the starlight. “Thanks for coming out tonight.”

“Thanks for inviting me,” you said. “You always know how to make things better.”

For a moment, he seemed to hesitate, as if searching for the right words. Then, with a small smile, he said, “You’re my girlfriend aren’t you?”

You smiled back, your heart feeling a little lighter. “Right.”

The night stretched on, and neither of you felt the need to leave just yet. Under the blanket of stars, with the world quietly spinning around you, everything felt exactly as it should be.

✵

[https-murdock]

waiting game - matt murdock

summary: matt will make you wait as long as he wants to.

warnings: - here we go… 18+ MDNI, mean!matt, cockwarming, insults (whore etc), daddy kink, bondage, spanking, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, cream pie, fingering, rough oral (m receiving), a little pain kink??, slight choking, tiny slapping (one mention of it and it’s not really slapping but thought i should include anyway)

word count: 1.3k

authors note: heyyy this is soo self indulgent lol but i hope u all enjoy x

Matt didn’t like to be interrupted during his work - whether that be in the office or the menial hours he spent going through his braille-full-files at home. Either way, he didn’t like any interruptions, including any from you.

“sweetheart, what have i said about this? i’ve told you many times…” he trails off, sat with his thick thighs spread out on his couch and tossing his papers back to the coffee table with the rest of them. “please, i-“ you begin, and slowly you’re starting to realise the position you’re in.

spread eagle on his rug. face down, ass up, hands tied behind your back and you’ve never been so aware of the placement of your pussy so close to him - he had tied you up around an hour earlier, leaving your dripping folds sat next to him - knowing exactly how desperate you are just for a simple touch.

“no, i’ve already told you, you’ll wait until i’m done.” he’s sterner now, and you can hear the tint of anger decorating his low tone. the tears brim at your eyes, threatening to fall as you wait for so much as a simple touch of calloused fingers to relieve any of the pressure that has built up.

you do the only thing you can - wait.

just as you’re ready to wait all night for a touch from him, he finally slips the rest of his papers back into their file and rests on his knees behind you, rough hands finding the smooth of your ass cheeks - and before you can even think about what may come next, he lands a slap right to the left one, the sting lasting longer than usual as the welcome of his touch settles in.

“that what you wanted?” he’s asking, tone gravelly and stern behind you, slap after slap landing on your skin, and all you can do is moan at the beautiful pain he leaves in his wake.

“f-p- ahh- please, daddy please.” you’re begging now, and even you didn’t realise quite how much you needed him in any form, even if it included being punished for being so desperate. “hmmm, don’t think you’ve been good enough. so desperate, such a slut.” your ears ring from the pain, but still you hear his voice drift through the air, and you know this means you’ll be waiting all night.

gently, almost too gently, two fingers dip into your wet heat and your jaw drops open at the feeling. “so wet and i’ve barely even touched you.” he smirks, and you can tell it’s the smirk he does when he’s about to ruin you.

“da-daddy please, need it so bad.” you beg, and the sliding of his fingers picks up pace.

the way he reaches so deep inside of you always takes you by surprise, his fingers hitting the spot that has been throbbing while you’ve been waiting for him. the slick that drips down the inside of your thighs is telling the story of your desperate need.

“that what you wanted? just wanted my touch like the whore you are?” he’s asking you, shit eating grin on his face when he knows you’re enjoying the touch of him so much you can’t even reply. you can feel that familiar tight, warm feeling in your lower stomach - and what you’ve been so needy for is finally approaching. “wanna interrupt my work? i’ll interrupt you before you come.”

“no no no, please,” you start, when you feel his fingers pull out and your orgasm fade away.

“no begging, you knew what you were doing when you chose to be such a whore.” and as you turn your head to pleadingly look at him, he stands up and starts to strip his clothes off - before finally untying your hands and gripping your hair, pulling your head up until you rest on your knees. “don’t wanna be quiet, i’ll keep you quiet.” he mutters, standing in front of you as his large shadow looms above.

his cock stands up on his abs, and each time the length of him stirs a little anxiety in you, whether it’ll hurt, or just fit full stop. “open up.” he says, trailing his thumb across your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth apart to make room for him. “relax, gotta relax for me huh?”

as he pushes his way into your mouth, you feel the spit drip onto your naked chest, and as soon as matt hears the sound of it hit your skin his grip on your hair tightens. “fuck, so good for me, such a good whore for me.”

you do as your told, letting him use your mouth to his own pleasure - the head on him ramming to the back of your throat, and the pain leading right to your pussy, clenching at the feeling of him bullying his way through. “fuck, y’mouth feels- s’good.” he’s muttering, and his hips are stuttering, and as you begin to get nervous that you won’t get to feel him inside of you tonight like you do desperately need to, he pulls out of your mouth with a pop.

“don’t worry, calm your heart beat down. you’ll get what you need in time.” matt spits, dragging you to your feet again by the makeshift ponytail he’s gripping of your hair.

he sits himself down on the couch, tapping his knee so you know your place to sit.

“gonna keep me nice ‘n warm. not allowed to move, got it?” he tells you, hand wrapped tightly around your neck as he pulls you down onto his cock, seating perfectly within you. “please, need to move, just let m-“ you beg, again turning to the pure desperation that’s ripping at you from inside.

“i said no, you need to listen, little slut.” matt growls, his hand still attached to your neck like a necklace, other hand tapping at your cheek to make you flinch.

he makes you wait, the feeling of him nestled so deep bringing that warm feeling back, with no building feeling. the hand around your neck keeps you in place, no matter how many times you try to rock against matt’s hips to feel some relief.

“so needy for me to fuck you, wanna come? that what you need so bad?” he’s asking, eyes darkened to the point his pupils are hard to find. gently, his hands meet your hips and start rocking you back and forth, your moans immediately filling the space of your air, matt’s heavy breaths through his nose becoming audible when he feels the way your walls clench around him.

“yes, yes please, daddy let me come please.” you speak, words coming so fast part of you wonders if he really knows what you said. and you can tell matt is getting close when you start to bounce on him, feeling his length hit the spot you need him so badly.

his warm, tough fingers finally place themselves at your clit, tight circles rubbed around, gathering your slick as you continue to pump up and down on him, listening to his grunts and moans mix with your own - and the way his thighs clench underneath yours tells you you’re about to feel him fill you exactly the way you like.

“g-gonna come, fill me up please, please…” you’re trailing off, just speaking into the ether and hoping he makes enough sense of you.

“oh, fuck, fill y’up so much- ah-“ he stutters, and the feeling of him painting your insides triggers your own orgasm, clenching so tight around him it’s hard for him to lift you up and down his length with the way you suck him in.

your head collapses onto his shoulder, hips slowly coming to a stop as you sit together and try to match your breathing. the silence that sits around you is a peaceful one, full of gratification and released need.

“maybe you should interrupt me more during work.”

- tags -

@lambmurdock @parker-murdock @silas-aeiou @audreyclimbs @pupmurdock @millennial-birkin @poeticbookwormcat

[rad4learning]

In another reblog I saw that you said you love GNC women. Yet concurrently you suggest that you identify as nonbinary because "I still felt very unrelated to, othered and outcast by other women. I felt like I had to mask myself or change myself to be accepted. I just couldn't vibe with them or relate to them like I can with other nonbinary people especially afab enbies." I.e. gender nonconformity is a problem that should be fixed by identification into a gender you are congruent with.

This is the effect of gender identity ideology, by how it identifies gender it encourages gender conformity. Not comfortable where you are? just switch! It creates categories of "cis women" and "cis men" who are utterly at ease with gender stereotypes. I personally have been pushed to identify as agender by people who have adopted that label and think I am "the most agender person ever". I am encouraged to downplay the impact that being female has had on me and other myself from other women by identifying as agender, if I choose otherwise gender identity ideology tells me that I must "feel like a woman".

"Is it because of social norms and pressures? Maybe! but...why does it matter?"

It matters because the existence or not of an innate feminine mind has major ramifications for women's rights. The idea that there is such thing had been used for agessss as justification for keeping women from power under the idea that such minds were too pure to be spoiled by being faced with tough decisions and/or incapable of responsible decision making.

Beyond this, no woman - "trans inclusive" or otherwise - has the ability to prevent someone from having whatever self-concept they identify with. However, what we can do is push back against the notion that "women feel like women and men feel like men" is progressive or that people have a "right" to be perceived or discussed in the way that they would prefer. We can push back against the idea that self-identification is a better indicator of gender-based vulnerability than sex. I will also say personally, that having a father who started hitting mum while she was pregnant and has written about identifying both as a transwoman and MRA, that the idea that he is seen as "more oppressed" from gender is twisted. It obscures the social forces in play that systemically advantage male people at the expense of female people. Btw he presents as a typical man. The only change is the label, which lets him be seen as an authority on womanhood and needing of more support by people who buy into it. Accurate categorisation is important if we want needs and vulnerability based supports to disadvantaged groups. I don't blame you if you don't believe this example but consider the concept in general: why is someone being perceived as they want more important than accurate perception facilitating targeted supports? Who should feminism be serving: female people or people who say they vibe with femininity? Is this purpose facilitated by obscuring who is female and who is not in feminist discussions?

I have some points and some questions for radfems who are not trans inclusive. I say these and ask these in good faith, I am open minded, willing to hear well educated, thought out points.

If the goal is for women and men to be equal, or for gender to not matter, why is the idea that anyone can identify as anything a bother?

Reproductive rights should be fought for 100%, and it doesn't matter how the women this affects identify.

Going off the above points, I know I'm female, but I identify as nonbinary. It just feels right. I've tried to just shun gender all together and just be like "I'm a woman and there's no wrong way to be one so I'm going to do what I want with my body :)" but I still felt very unrelated to, othered and outcast by other women. I felt like I had to mask myself or change myself to be accepted. I just couldn't vibe with them or relate to them like I can with other nonbinary people especially afab enbies. Is it because of social norms and pressures? Maybe! but...why does it matter?

The porn and sex work industry harms women disproportionately and I will forever hate pimps and johns and anyone who thinks that sexuality should be purchasable yes but I want to point out that the porn/sex work industry also glorifies and sexualizes hateful slurs and stereotypes of other minorities, including trans individuals who also shouldn't be objectified or whose sexualities be seen as something you can turn into a commodity. Gender diverse individuals also seem to be victim to more violent acts in these industries as they feel they have to to get anywhere in them. Why not include trans people in radical feminism???

[aheartofdawn]

As Democrats struggle to come to terms with the results of this week’s election, some young women are looking abroad for inspiration. Women across social media have been exploring an idea called 4B, a protest movement in South Korea that calls for women to boycott men.“Now I am, how you say this, a ho, but I really want to get behind this 4B movement,” begins one TikToker, who goes on to say she approves of women withholding sex from men. “After this election — where women were pretty much told to their faces that no one gives a shit about them — don’t forget, ladies, we do have power. And you know the kind of power I’m talking about. Giving up our bodies to men is a choice. We don’t have to do this.”

The TikTok tag #4bmovement currently has thousands of posts with millions of views, and Google search interest in the term spiked after the election. Some of the social media posters are clearly joking out of a combination of rage, stress, and sadness — but others are more serious.“Once you can get out of your mind that you will not be missing out by engaging in this behavior, you will be better off,” one earnest TikToker says. “I encourage you to reclaim your power and have really honest conversations with yourself about whether being in a romantic relationship with men at this point in time is worth it.”

The tenets of 4B are extremely different from the kinds of feminism that tend to flourish in the US, where popular culture places a premium on choice and empowerment. Mainstream feminist campaigns here usually celebrate women’s ability to make their own decisions and do whatever makes them feel best as individuals.The point of 4B and Escape the Corset, however, is not to make women feel more fulfilled or more at home in their bodies. It is also not to put pressure on men as individuals to reform their ways. The point of 4B is to send a message about the structure of society — to say it’s not acceptable that you are valued only for your fertility and sexual appeal — and to ensure your independence.In an academic paper about the movement, author Hyejung Park translates a 2019 video from the South Korean activist group SOLOdarity: “It is true that tal-corset [Escape the Corset] comes with some inconveniences,” the activists allow. “When your hair is short, you might have to get a haircut more frequently, and you might need to buy a whole new wardrobe for tal-corset. Nevertheless, we practice tal-corset because it is not about being more comfortable. It is about not being a doll, a second-class citizen.”

The idea of refusing to wear skirts for the sake of your politics, even if you like them, is an attitude that has been out of favor in American feminism since the end of the second wave in the 1970s. Still, there is a discipline and a radicalism to this form of activism that you can easily understand feeling attractive for America’s angry young women in this moment. It supposes a world that so emphatically decenters men and their desires for women that men themselves disappear from a woman’s life. After the US elected a symbol of masculine aggression and violence to our highest office for the second time, a person can see the appeal.The idea of such severe and uncompromising protest also makes sense considering the reams of smirking rape jokes that the mere discussion of 4B online has provoked. Many American 4B TikToks have comments from men under them crowing, “Your body, my choice,” a refrain that young fans of far-right influencer Nick Fuentes have reportedly taken to parroting in schools.“[W]omen threatening sex strikes like LMAO as if you have a say,” a post from one X account with 122,000 followers went.

It’s worth remembering, though, that the divide between left and right in this country does not neatly map across gender divides. While we won’t know until later how the numbers break down, early exit polls say 45 percent of all women and 53 percent of white women voted for Trump. Trump surrounds himself with enabling women, and the likes of Marjorie Tyler Greene gleefully shriek misogyny across the floors of Congress.A possible lesson of the Women’s March era — that feminist reaction to the first Trump term — is this: Uniting in a large group as a pure expression of rage is not always sustainable. The Women’s March collapsed because of vicious infighting, which is traditionally what happens to large leftist groups in the US.Perhaps it’s time for American feminism to get specific and disciplined about its action points. 4B is specific and it is disciplined, which is part of what makes it difficult to translate out of its cultural context and into America. It is clear on its goals, which are to take personal autonomy through the force of one’s own denial, rather than to ask for it at the polls or in interpersonal relationships.A line of inquiry American feminists might take from 4B is this: What are you going to work toward? And what are you going to do to get there?

[rosetterer]

whoever in this fandom was writing that helicopter crash fic and posting snippets of it, I hope you have a good day and pls, can I get another snippet? Just a lil... lil sneak peek.. j- just a little-

[calicos-clones]

I don’t think people realize how freaked out fanfic readers get when their favorite author(s) doesn’t update their ongoing schedule ON TIME.

And it’s not cause we want the chapter…it’s cause we’re so fucking worried about the Author.

Like— OMG ARE YOU OKAY? YOU’VE BEEN GIVING US THE TRAGIC UPDATES OF YOUR LIFE IN THE NOTES THE PAST 10 CHAPTERS?! WHY STOP? ARE YOU DEAD? DID YOU GET STUCK IN THE WALL LIKE YOUR CAT?? HAVE YOU EATEN?? HAS YOUR BRAIN EXPLODED??

Readers no longer care about the story when they don’t get their usual update. We panic and flag S.O.S as we track down our wayward author who has been both blessed by the universe with a creative mind and cursed all the same with the worst luck.

So any authors who are reading this please understand— when we comment “hey are you okay?” in your comments. No, we are not asking about the chapter.

We are legitimately concerned for your wellbeing. Do not force yourself to shit out a chapter just to appease other ppl when you yourself are not in the mental state to enjoy it or even write it to begin with.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DAMMIT

[cele-ish]

I am so so glad someone's bringing this up!

While usually I am strong defender of Genshin's localisation, most of Mona's constellation lines were butchered. The Chinese version gives us this:

「雄狮」早早离群，但她会继续成长，直到能完全继承狮群的荣耀。

which roughly translates to:

The "male lion" left the group early, but she will continue to grow until she can fully inherit the glory of the lion group.

It's not about her being separated from her pack. It sounds like it's about Diluc leaving and throwing his responsibilities on Jean's shoulders. He was the leader of the pack, the Favonious prodigy and from what we've heard about him, he was most likely considered to be Varka's successor. Jean was not prepared to shoulder all that unexpectedly at the ripe age of 17 and she always has to live up to the legend of the knight that Diluc was - at least in her head.

He was to be the sword, she was to be the shield, as indicated through their c6 constellations. Now she has to carry both.

Add to that the fact that Jean carries the burden of guilt for what happened to Diluc and that the Knights harboured a traitor. She thinks it's up to her to make the Knights as an organisation worthy of Diluc's respect again, so that his tragedy does not repeat ever again.

It doesn't help that Varka seems to take Jean for granted and has no consideration for her capacity - and since she was raised in the belief that she's only worth what she's able to offer Mondstadt, she will not protect her boundaries.

He sounds extremely dismissive even when talking about Jean to her mother. He doesn't respect the effort Jean is putting in at all. it's just odd errands, haha.

Most people in Mondstadt only see her achievements and are completely oblivious to their cost. She's wearing herself thin because she believes she has to work twice as hard to barely match the expectations and make up for her "shortcomings". She wants to have a perfect schedule, as her mother intended for her, but no matter how much she adjusts it (she's on version XVII, mind you!) she can't match the unrealistic standard and keeps falling behind and sacrificing her wellbeing trying to chase it. I also think of her to be a girlie who buys all the fresh produce, makes a weekly meal plan just to lack the time and energy to actually cook so she ends up eating random 'girl dinner' stuff (or takeaway pizza!) while her groceries rot away and she feels bad about it.

I even see her relationship with Klee as a result of "someone's gotta do it" state of mind. She's not well suited to taking care of a child, she's so awkward with Klee and even snaps at Kaeya's joke that she could pose as Klee's mother during the Golden Apple Archipelago. Yet she recognises that this child, with very unpredictable pyro powers, left behind in the city by her mother, is in need of formal protection and parental figures, even if unconventional ones. She has no idea how to connect with Klee yet still she does the right thing, enrolls her into the KoF as means of protection and making sure she's sheltered and taken care of.

If I were to choose her theme song, I wouldn't hesitate and pick "Surface Pressure" from Encanto right away. "Under the surface, I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service"? Please, that's Jean right away.

Both Kaeya and Lisa see through Jean's mask of professionalism and poise. They always look after her, voice their concerns. Lisa after Weinlesefest says how she's disappointed with Varka, Kaeya during the first Archon Quest even straight up mentions how becoming Acting Grand Master "must have been hard on Jean" if you talk with him in her office. Both of them are willing to push their boundaries to help out Jean, staying up late and finishing up her overdue work.

Additionally, Kaeya is always quick to put people in their place and remind them of Jean's authority. He always, always is trying to help Jean relax, whether it is through TCG, throwing her a party (and even clearing out her tasks so that she can actually enjoy it), or going out for drinks in Simulanka. These lines were not anyhow pushing the plot yet they were added either way. That means all of this is important. Given how close he was to Diluc, only he would truly know first hand how hard it was (is?) to walk in his shoes. Both him (as the Cavalry Captain) and Jean have to face it and do the heavy lifting. It's a unique mutual understanding.

So, tldr, under all that reliability and elegance is a stressed out disaster girlie who always thinks she's not good enough so she overworks herself to compensate for it.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, now I am late to places but I regret nothing.

I love all the hints at Jean not coping that well with being Acting Grand Master, because to nearly everyone it seems like she is but she just kinda isn't. Like, obviously there's her story quest where she just collapses from overworking herself but there are all these other examples that show that homegirl is not alright.

Like Jean this is not a normal way to consume coffee. This seems a lot more like dependence than "coffee just makes me feel a bit more awake" or just liking the drink.

And like wdym she's completing random reviews at 3am because she got sick (probably from overworking) and then not allowing herself to buy a book. Like that's just sad.

Like bro Mona took one look at Jean's constellation and was like "girl you've had too much on your plate for FAR too long". And then probably realised how depressing that sounded and was like "idk she's like really strong thoughhhh, it's not all baddd"

Like even Kaeya's concerned bro. At least she's got him looking out for her though.

[tanith-rhea]

Carnations

It was beautiful, in a morbid way, that this would be the way you'd go. A botany teacher whose lungs were filled with flowers.

Author's note: absolute angst on this one, I won't promise tears cause different people sail different ships, but I can say that there is no happy ending, a good old character death which I suspect is over-described, and the illusory or not certainty of unrequited love.

You may do with this information whatever you please 💛

You'd always had a fascination when it came to flower diseases. Hanakanjō always seemed to you like the worst thing that could happen to a person, flowers sprouting from one's skin and betraying their emotions to others around them. In the end, you wish you could trade it for yours, it would be mortifying to burst into pink carnations every time Larissa walked past you, but at least you wouldn't have yellow ones choking you up at night when you replayed her words repeatedly in your head.

"I could never fall in love with an employee," she'd said, nursing what little wine was left in her glass.

"Do you think you could control it?" the question had nothing to do with your fondness for the principal, it spoke of how much of a romantic you were, actually, how tragic it would be if it happened.

She seemed to consider it for a while, before settling for "I'm fairly certain. I have no interest in falling in love and even if I had I would make sure to not harbour any feelings for someone I could not pursue. I wouldn't be so careless as to set myself up for heartbreak," her voice sounded sure and final. She finished her drink and inhaled carefully before eyeing your glass and seeing you'd also finished yours.

"I'm afraid it's rather late," she continued softly, "This was supposed to be a work meeting and I kept you for far too long," she paused, and you felt something tighten in your chest as you realized the conversation (and your lovely evening) was over. "Thank you for indulging me, though."

Larissa would never fall in love with a teacher. And you, pretty much a teacher and "one of the few she considered a friend", would never have your feelings reciprocated.

It was rather lovely, to be in love, and you discovered you didn't mind to love alone that evening when you left her office. It was really such a shame that your lungs begged to disagree.

The first time you coughed you were in class. You were about to explain to a second-year student how a certain plant could be made into poison and medicine depending on the situation or its handling when you broke into a fit. You hadn't caught a cold and no flowers were blooming quite yet, so when you couldn't stop for a whole thirty seconds you thought it rather odd.

The blood in your elbow pit once you finally stopped was also curious, but you carried on until all classes were finished.

Later that same day, you were at the quad waiting for a student who had asked you to take a look at his potted plant which he said didn't look so good. He had left class just a few minutes before and passed through the quad to tell you he would go to his dorm take the plant and come back in two beats but he was taking his time, apparently.

Distracted, you didn't notice someone approaching the table you were sitting at and squeaked like a scared squirrel once Larissa's hand laid on your shoulder.

"My, my, I did think you were a bit lost but it seems you were in fact stupefied," she sounded amused. Your face was catching fire.

"You absolute menace, why did you sneak up on me like that? Do you want to kill me?" your voice was still squeaky; like you'd inhaled helium.

Larissa laughed, full of mirth and fondness, and you couldn't pretend to be displeased with her when your lips were insisting on twitching up. You were probably making a funny face while fighting back your smile because she only continued on, if softer, as you shook your head and looked away.

"I'm sorry to have startled you, I was only passing and wanted to know what you were up to." Her hand was still resting on your shoulder and her thumb was now soothingly stroking small circles on the hollow of your clavicle.

She smiled affectionately at you while you composed yourself enough to answer. You had close to no dignity left but you would fight to recuperate it.

You cleared your suddenly tight throat, "I'm just waiting on Ajax for plant advice. He's babysitting a Dahlia for a friend of his and is worried it might be dying."

"A dahlia?" Larissa arched an eyebrow.

"Yes... why?" what was so curious about a boy caring for a flower to her?

She shrugged, "Nothing, just-" she paused, her fingertips pressing a bit as if gripping you lightly for a second, "their meaning, I imagine, but boys his age probably don't know these things anymore," she smiled dismissively.

She squeezed your shoulder softly again, eyes glinting a bit before saying, "Well, it's always lovely to run into you, dear," and leaned down to kiss your cheek, hand sliding from your shoulder to your chin as she held your face gently and pressed her lips right under your cheekbone.

She eyed the spot where her lips had been, probably because they left a mark redder than your blush, before smiling once again and leaving. Once she was out of view, you brought shaky fingertips to your warm face and suddenly you were doubling over with coughs; unstopping, burning things scorching your throat as blood springled your trousers and then, like it was just another product any coughing fit could conjure, there were two yellow petals, tinged half red in blood, laid on your lap.

"Professor...?" Ajax's voice caught your attention, and frankly people had to stop surprising you like this. You looked up to see terrified eyes staring at the stains on your lap. "Is everything alright?"

You definitely didn't feel alright. "Yes, it's just an inflammation or something," you pretended to dismiss it and he didn't seem too convinced, "Is this the child?" you pointed at a perfectly healthy dahlia.

"Yeah... I left it on the window this morning and it seems a lot better now." He shifted from foot to foot, "I brought her here just to confirm she's alright," he completed.

"She?" you couldn't help a smile. It was a joke when you said the child.

His face reddened a bit and it was amusing but mostly adorable how uncomfortable he suddenly seemed.

"Xavior and I have this thing that we talk about her like she is a person," he appeared to be immensely interested in her since he couldn't take his eyes off the plant to look at you while explaining, "We read on a website that plants can communicate with others and respond well to being praised and stuff so it because sort of a thing and-"

His words were coming more and more like undistinguished mumbles so you took pity on him and interrupted, saying "She's alright, Ajax. A healthy little girl as far as I can see, don't worry."

He visibly relaxed, deflating like a cloak of lead was sliding off his shoulders. He finally looked you in the face, still unsure and stealing glances at your lap.

"Thank you, prof." He nodded forcefully and marched quickly back inside.

The tricky thing was that you loved life, but you also loved Larissa, and you didn't want to stop doing either of those, even if they might terminate each other and you in the process.

Love is such a beautiful sentiment and dying from it was just your luck. If you could choose, in all honesty, you might have chosen to die exactly like this.

That didn't mean you were eager to do so. And that was why you decided to distance yourself from Larissa. You loved her, and you knew your love would only grow stronger and having her around did not help to keep you from diving deeper into the magnificent, all-encompassing feeling of completion that filled your heart and soul so absolutely it spilt.

In the first few weeks, she didn't seem to notice, but after your third refusal of a shared glass of red at her office she appeared at your door, concern written between her brows.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, dear, but I have the feeling I don't see you as much as I'd like this past few days and was wondering if something happened."

She had no business looking so caring and... worried, fretful.

You were still standing at the doorsill, feeling thin roots curl and clench inside your chest like anarchist veins looking for tissue to spread themselves onto when the thought occurred to you for the first time. Why can't she love me back?

It was nonsense. You knew her, you knew why, and of course your life was on the line and it mattered more than school rules or power dynamics but she was not looking for love. She made it clear not once, but several times when she'd repeat incessantly every time someone brought up the fact that she was single.

"I don't see why I need someone, Tish," or "I don't mind being alone, Vlad," and "No, dear, I don't feel incomplete, I have everything I ever wished for".

You hadn't had a problem with it before, but now, seeing her standing there, gloved hands clasped together in front of her elegantly but not fooling you at all. The air was charged, she was waiting for something; an invitation to enter, an explanation, reassurance. Her hands in front of her were not a sign of grace but an attempt at not fidgeting. She never fidgeted, you suspected she practised so much that now every time she felt uncomfortable she'd instinctively adopt certain poses that evoked control.

"Finals are coming soon," you said with no thought at all, and her brows furrowed deeper, "I mean... Preparation for finals," you tried to salvage, "I like to do a pre-review with smaller classes."

She clearly did not buy it but also didn't question you. Instead, her posture impossibly improved as she cleared her throat quietly, "Well, I'll leave you to your evening plans then," and she motioned to leave.

"Which-" you said quickly before she could go, she stood attentively, "I don't have," you said, voice breaking at the end as you felt petals clog up your windpipe.

Larissa smiled, surprised and clearly pleased, and you stepped out of the way so she could enter.

"Give me a moment," you whispered with what you hoped was an easy smile as you excused yourself to the bathroom.

As soon as you closed the door you tried your best to vomit, expel? Get rid of the petals slowly rising with as little sound as possible. If you coughed there was a chance Larissa would hear and ask questions. You weren't sure you could lie to her if she asked why you were coughing petals like you're the embodiment of spring. Even if she'd know the reason, you couldn't trust yourself not to tell it was because of her.

But you can't vomit something coming from your lungs, and there is no such thing as "gracefully letting a foreign solid thing leave travel through your respiratory system". You just grabbed a towel from the cabinet and muffled the screeches and choking and sobs on it.

After an unknown amount of time, a knock took you out of your breathing exercise to regain control.

"Is everything ok in there?" you weren't coughing anymore, but her small voice made you want to cry. Your face was still flushed from all the exertion and the tears brought by pain were still drying on your cheeks.

Your breathing quickened as dread and heartbreak occupied the emptiness left by bloody petals. You screamed without a sound, air leaving your throat, face twisted from grief. You'd die from loving her and you knew you would do so soon.

Larissa didn't wait for an answer much longer, and as she opened the door you curled into yourself, hiding the petals between your legs and chest, burying your face on your knees so she wouldn't see how ugly you looked when falling apart.

"Love, what happened?" she breathed, kneeling beside you without another word and taking you into her arms.

Why was she calling you love? Why did she have to do that? You were her friend, dear and darling and sometimes sweet. You weren't her love, you would never be and that was going to kill you. Why did she have to be affectionate when it cut you deeper than any cruelty ever could?

You couldn't make a sound, your throat could barely manage between you not breathing from all the muted crying and you scrambling for air when you realized more petals were coming as Larissa's smell filled the air, easily overpowering the flowers' while she hugged your body with one arm and kept the other around your shoulders, fingertips massaging your scalp under the crown of your head where she kept her face pressed.

This was so close to love. Why was it so hard to take that final step? You shared evenings together like a years-old couple, talked easily as if you'd spent a life together and not two years of acquaintanceship, you thought of her every second of every day, nurturing her in your heart and her rejection in your lungs.

You wished you could make her fall for you. You didn't mind before, and it wasn't the prospect of death that made you yearn for it so much now. You realized you were sick because it was too much. You had too much love inside of you and if she didn't want it there was nowhere it could go, no one to belong to, so it had to cease to exist, one way or another.

As your tight muscles started to tire and your body to fail, Larissa helped you to your bed. You were less than a person, more like the hollow ruins of a once beautiful castle that was now being conquered by nature, retaken, reclaimed.

When you stood and full flowers fell from your hiding place to the floor, you heard Larissa's surprised intake of breath. A few uncertain second passed as you looked down to the beautiful blooms you couldn't help but longingly admire, wishing them to finish you before Larissa continued to care for you like it wasn't just make it worse.

You were so drained she practically carried you across the room, laid you down on the bed and looked for the Nth time uncertain. After a few seconds she seemed to reach a conclusion and slid under the covers beside you, pulling you half conscious to her chest.

Before you completely blacked out, you heard her whisper, "I wish it was me."

The next day she wasn't there. When you woke up with very few memories of the night before, you had the sense that something was missing and as snippets of images and vague recollections started to pile up into a sequence of tortuously sweet moments, you had your worse fit of coughs that date.

That was it. You were done for. Larissa cared enough to wish to die in your place but not in the way that could save you.

You'd do anything for her but she simply couldn't do the one thing you needed from her. And it wasn't her fault, you knew she could try, hell she did try the night before for all you knew but it just was not possible. No one could force people into love and you wanted nothing of the sort. Even if you hungered for Larissa like a person starving to death you were happier knowing she would have a good life, everything she ever wished for, as she said, than being forever bound to you when she didn't want it.

You knew you didn't have long now, you weren't really coughing as flowers with the semblance of thin stems were lodged in your throat, so you fumbled desperately for something to write on while you still could.

When Larissa found you, she didn't see the paper, the tray with tea she'd gone prepare to wake you up with fell with no sound she could hear, the shattered porcelain not registering underneath the deafening white noise. She lifted your body from the floor beside the bed where you'd slipped off only to scream and let you fall onto the mattress as she saw glassed-over eyes.

She screamed and wailed and didn't notice the countless people rapidly entering and immediately leaving the room to look for help. The love of her life lay on a bed of flowers, yellow and red while their skin was almost translucent. Choked on the stems of what could be a small bouquet, blood slowly pooling beside their mouth.

"Dear Larissa, I hope you forgive the state I'm bound to be found, and that whoever has the misfortune of finding me has it in themselves to remind this scene as a terrible but miraculous love letter.

I loved you so much that it killed me.

Doesn't that sound nice? Maybe not nice, I'm dying so I don't have time to weight my words too carefully.

I'm writing this to thank you. Thank you for every time you smiled at me, talked to me, touched the back of my hand while handing me wine or made me nothing at all other than company.

Life was harder but infinitely sweeter while I was fortunate to love you. I am in love with you, and I hope after I'm dead I'll be able to still be. I know you'd be kind to the point of letting me haunt you, but I love you more than I can put into words and want you to forget this ever happened and be happy.

It's ok that you don't love me back, it's ok that I'm dead now, I died loving you and there is no other way I'd rather have died. If the price for feeling this deeply is death then you could say I chose to pay, even though I didn't. I know you wished it were you, but I was happy to pay.

If I coul"

Part of the unfinished sentence was covered by a dark stain, the rest was simply not written.

Larissa sobbed brokenly reading "I know you wished it were you," over and over, what she'd meant the night before was "I wish I was the one you love."

I listened to this while I wrote if you'd like to listen to some soft, nice music. As always, @alder-saan I hope you like it. Unless you don't want to read sad stuff which I completely understand