#no post today so have this instead
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i hate perspective. happy new years also
#i wanted to do something with j as a new years post but didnt have the patience to actually get it done#so instead i just went with what i was already drawing#nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi#finally i've been able to draw this robo god damn ship#it has been clouding my mind for MONTHS#and i've finally been able to draw it#trying to color and slightly shade for the first time in. a while#violentbitingbiscuits#nuvi#nuziv#theres five hundred names for this ship dude#can you fandom people get it together and just settle on one#drew half of this last night and the other half today and surprisingly did not hate what i got done yesterday#amazing. can my mind do that for all my other art instead of despising it once a 5 hour timer is up#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#i love the concept that uzi crumples like tissue paper when given any affection#v pfp is an old sketch i dont think i posted on here dont mind it
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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antistatic
#ultrakill#girlbriel#mirage ultrakill#my art#sketches#this is my self indulgent birthday drawing even though it was yesterday. I was too tired then. so i drew this today instead. whatever#I dont even like this all that mmmuch but I HAVE TO POST YURI OR ELSE I DIE
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LEE KNOW + DOME TOUR: VCR MAKING MOVIE
#blinkies and giggly lino.... my 2 genre of gifs in one set#i have so much i wanna gif rn gonna try to knock some out today but maybe i will be the one to knock out instead#ALSO i went thru my tag n have 40 posts in queue ksdf if i ever let it get that backed up again i will be accepting volunteers to beat me u#*#*lino#*23#*5s#*bts#lee know#stray kids#skz#bystay#linosource#skzco#usersemily#usersa#userlau#uservasya#stayjuni
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rain world if it was hot
#rain world#rainworld room polls ending got me drawing rw rooms in a daze#its fun tho. rain world rooms are fun and shapes :)))#!!#my art#reccomending looking like you just woke up by the front bottoms today me thinks :)#anyhow didnt have to much to say!#oh wait i did uh yeah jumpscare im alive and posting stuff today becasue it felt awkward to post 3 days in a row instead of 3 at once#so uh like enjoy that maybe if you like that or dont i dunno up to you#thumbs up: thumbs up: thumbs up:
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Danmei and Baihe C Novels and Manhua Officially Licensed in English
Things are getting licensed fast enough that keeping a list like this up-to-date is basically impossible, but I saw someone asking in the tags so I figured I'd try. All titles are danmei unless otherwise noted (very little baihe is licensed so far). I've included Chinese titles, but sometimes publishers change the original titles so much that I can't track them down, apologies. I've hit the link limit on this post so I've had to remove NovelUpdate links, but they're still in the version of this post on Wordpress. Note that Taiwanese titles are not included on this list.
This is everything I know of as of December 11, 2024. There might be more. I tried. Resources used to compile this list: Danmeinews.com; this Carrd, last updated in March 2023; this other carrd last updated October 23 2024; list of danmei with official licenses on NovelUpdates; a similar list on Goodreads; danmei-specific list on Reddit that to my eye looks accurate for the larger publishers but isn't thorough for some of the smaller ones.
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Seven Seas:
The full list of danmei novels licensed by Seven Seas is here. The full list of danmei manhua licensed by Seven Seas is here.
These titles are in various stages of publication, from "entire series released" to "license literally announced less than a week ago." As far as I know, all Seven Seas titles are available world-wide, through major distributors and libraries, and in e-book and print formats. Seven Seas translation quality varies but the editing is general strong and the editions are sturdy and nice. Note that Seven Seas isn't without controversy, especially for treating their contractors poorly resulting in them unionizing. Some people have also been unhappy with the fidelity of their translations compared to the original Chinese (I've been satisfied personally but ymmv).
Mo Xiang Tong Xiu titles:
The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (Ren Zha Fanpai Zijiu Xitong)
Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Mo Dao Zu Shi)
Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (Mo Dao Zu Shi) manhua
Heaven Official's Blessing (Tian Guan Ci Fu)
Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat titles:
Case File Compendium (Bing an Ben)
The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (Erha he Ta de Bai Mao Shizun)
Remnants of Filth (Yuwu)
Meng Xi Shi titles:
Thousand Autumns (Qian Qiu)
Peerless (Wushuang)
priest titles:
Guardian (Zhenhun)
Silent Reading (Modu)
Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang)
Fei Tian Ye Xiang titles:
Astrolabe Rebirth (Xing Pan Chongqi), written under the pen name Arise Zhang
Dinghai Fusheng Records (Dinghai Fusheng Lu)
Dinghai Fusheng Records (Dinghai Fusheng Lu) manhua
Joyful Reunion (Xiang Jian Huan)
Legend of Exorcism (Tianbao Fuyao Lu)
Mu Su Li titles:
Copper Coins (Tong Qian Kan Shi)
The Unseen Immortal of Three Hundred Years (Bujian Shang Xian San Bai Nian)
Lv Ye Qian He titles:
The White Cat’s Divine Scratching Post (Shenmu Nao Bujin)
The Wife Comes First (Qi Wei Shang)
Other titles:
After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine (Canji Zhanshen Jia Wo Wei Qie Hou) by Liu Gou Hua
Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiuqing
BAIHE: The Beauty’s Blade (Meiren Jian) by Feng Ren Zuo Zhu
The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish (Canji Baojun de Zhangxin Yu Chong) by Xue Shan Fei Hu
I Ship My Rival x Me (Wo Kele Duijia x Wo de CP) manhua by PEPA
HET: Love Between Fairy and Devil (Cang Lan Jue) by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang
Mistakenly Saving the Villain (Lun Jiu Cuo Fanpai de Xiachang) by Feng Yu Nie
My Husband and I Sleep in a Coffin (Wo he Laogong Shui Guancai) by Wu Shui Bu Du
Run Wild (Saye) by Wu Zhe
There’s Something Wrong with the Chief (Du Zhu You Bing) by Yang Su
Thrice Married to Salted Fish (San Jia Xianyu) by Bi Ka Bi
The Villain’s White Halo (Fanpai Baihua Guanghuan) by Hao Da Yi Juan Wei Sheng Zhi
You’ve Got Mail: The Perils of Pigeon Post (Fei Ge Jiao You Xu Jin Shen) by Blackegg
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Rosmei:
Rosmei licenses are Singapore distribution rights only. There is a list of international partners organizing group orders here. I've personally placed my orders through Yiggybean, as discussed in reply to this ask. Most of these titles are only being released as print editions, tho titles that weren't originally on JJWXC (of which there are several here) WILL have e-book editions. My first book from Rosmei arrived, and I found the translation and editing to be very strong. I can't speak to how accurate it may be to the Chinese original, but it read smoothly and had very few errors. Overall, though they've made some mistakes, they've been communicative and responsive.
Huai Shang titles:
Breaking Through the Clouds (Po Yun)
Hunt for the Leviathan (Po Yun 2 Tun Hai)
Ning Yuan titles:
BAIHE: At the World's Mercy
BAIHE (I think???) The Creator's Grace
priest titles:
Coins of Destiny (Liu Yao)
The Defectives (Can Ci Pin)
Drowning Sorrows in Raging Fire (Lie Huo Jiao Chou)
Other titles:
Albert, from Earth (Aerbote Laizi Diqiu) by Jie Mo Jun
Art Thou Ailing? (Jun You Ji Fou) by Ru Shi Wo Wen)
The Bat (Bian Fu) by Feng Nong
Beyond the Snowstorm: A Windborne Love (Wo Cheng Feng Xue) by Qi Wu Gou
Don't You Like Me (Ni Shi Bushi Xihuan Wo) by Lv Tian Yi
The Earth is Online (Diqiu Shangxian) by Mo Chen Huan
Everyone Loves the Cannon Fodder (Chuan Cheng Wan Ren Mi de Paohui Zhuma) by Qie Zai Shan Yang
Global Examination (Qianqiu Gao Kao) by Mu Su Li
Gold Class Enforcers (Jinpai Dashou) by Pao Pao Xue Er
How to Survive as a Villain (Chuanyue Cheng Fanpai Yao Ruhe Huming) by Yi Yi Yi Yi
Kaleidoscope of Death (Siwang Wanhuatong) by Xi Zi Xu
The Killer of Killers (Sha Qing) by Wu Yi
Love at First Thaw (Wang Chun Bing) by Fu Li
Nan Chan by Tang Jiuqing
Obsessed (Ki Ma) by Wu Chen Shui
Tailhook (O Gou) by La Rive Gauche
Tales of Zijin Temple (Zijin Si Ye Hua) by Yun Tun Tun
Wine and Gun (Jiu yu Qiang) by Mengye Mengye
You're Too OP! (Nimen Nansheng Da Youxi Hao Lihai O~) by Yi Xiu Luo
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Peach Flower House:
Unfortunately, Peach Flower House has gone out of business. Peach Flower House titles were primarily for sale through their website and through some distributors, such as Amazon.com. Whether titles are e-book only, print only, or both varied by title. In my opinion, Peach Flower House has inconsistent inconsistent editing quality, but the books are very readable.
Da Feng Gua Guo:
The Imperial Uncle (Huang Shu)
Peach Blossom Debt (Taohua Zhai)
Other Titles:
Golden Terrace (Huang Jin Tai) by Cang Wu Bin Bai
In the Dark (Zai Hei An Zhong) by Jin Shisi Chai
Little Mushroom (Xiao Mogu) by Shisi
University of the Underworld (Yinjian Daxue) by Ziloi
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Via Lactea:
The partial list of danmei novels licensed by Via Lactea is here, but there are titles I've seen them selling that aren't on this list.
Via Lactea titles are primarily for sale through their website and through some distributors, such as Amazon.com. All titles are either print-only or e-book + print. Only a handful have actually been released, the rest are licensed and presumably in progress. I've now read three titles published by Via Lactea and while the translations are decent I could wish the editing was more consistent. Everything reads as if it would have been improved by one more thorough proof read.
Jing Shui Bian Titles:
Salad Days (Jing Jiu)
Silent Hearts (Mo Mai)
Qing Lv Titles:
Painting Against the Natural Grain (Huahua Ben Shi Ni Tian Er Xing) by Qing Lv
Raising Myself in 2006 by Qing Lv
Other Titles:
Apocalypse (Quanqiu Jinhua Hou Wo Zhan Zai Shiwulian Dingduan) by Qi Liu
As I've Told You Before by Sheng Jiang Tai Lang
Dawning (Liming Zhihou) by ICE
Embrace You Till the End of the game by Hu Yu La Jiao
Euthanasia (Anlesi) by Feng Su Jun
The Fall of Summer (Ting Shuo Ni Hen Nan Zhui) by Jue Chu
Falling (Luo Chi) by Yu Cheng
I Can't and I Won't (Zhen Bu Xing, Zhen Bu Ke) by Yan Gui Kang
Psycho (Feng Zi) by Xiao Yao Zi
Limerence (Wo Xichen Ni Nan Pengyou Henjiule) by Jiang Zi Bei
Lingering Game (Chanmian Youxi) by Tao Bai Bai
Lip and Sword (Chun Qiang) by Jin Shisi Chai
May I Touch Your Spirit? by Qing Mei Jiang
The Missing Piece (Maoheshenli) by Kun Yi Wei Lou
The Omega Who Wants His Baby Back by Yao Yao Yi Yan
Rose and Renaissance (Wo Zhi Xihuan Ni de Renshe [Yule Quan]) by Zhi Chu
Killing Show (Sha Lu Xiu) by Fox
Soul Vibration (Linghun Saodong) by Dr.solo
To Rule in a Turbulent World (Luan Shi Wei Wang) by Gu Xuerou (pen name of Fei Tian Ye Xiang)
A Tyrant's Cover-up Plan by A Ci Gu Niang
Was I a Scummy Bottom? by Cheng Zi Yu
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Aloha Comics:
A tiny, Hawaii-based press focusing on manhua. Titles are available through major retailers such as Amazon and Bookshop.org. I've purchased one of these titles - Nirvana in Fire - and was please with the quality despite a couple minor errors.
All these titles are manhua!
Day Off by Qing Cai
Heaven Official's Blessing Animation Manhua by Bilibili and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (this is a manhua made based on the donghua, using donghua art)
Here U Are by DJUN
Link Click by Li Haoling and Haoliners (not technically danmei!)
Nirvana in Fire (Lang Ya Bang) by Hai Yan (not technically danmei!)
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Monogatari Novels:
Monogatari Novels is based in Spain. These titles can also be ordered from at least some major retailers. Note that there has been some controversy about Monogatari Novels. I'm personally not ordering these works until more information is available.
Due to a lawsuit between Monogatari Novels and BLoved Publishing, How to Survive as a Villain and The Legendary Master's Wife are currently on hold.
BAIHE: A Clear and Muddy Loss of Love (Jing Wei Qing Shang) by Please Don't Laugh
BAIHE: Female General and Eldest Princess (NuJiangjun he Zhang Gongzhu) by Please Don't Laugh
How to Survive as a Villain (Chuan Yue Cheng Fanpai Yao Ru He Huo Ming) manhua by Yi Yi Yi Yi
The Legendary Master's Wife (Chuanshuo Zhi Zhu de Furen) by Yin Ya
The Silent Concubine (Ya Nu) by Qiang Tang
BAIHE: Soulmate manhua by Wenzhi Lizi
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BLoved Publishing:
ngl I can't figure out exactly what is up with this, and there seems to be some controversy related to them and their relationship with Monogatari Novels. Their website is depressingly low on details. However, this list is for completeness, so here we are.
Due to a lawsuit between Monogatari Novels and BLoved Publishing, How to Survive as a Villain and The Legendary Master's Wife are currently on hold.
How to Survive as a Villain (Chuan Yue Cheng Fanpai Yao Ru He Huo Ming) manhua by Yi Yi Yi Yi
The Legendary Master's Wife (Chuanshuo Zhi Zhu de Furen) by Yin Ya
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Chaleuria:
As far as I can tell, Chaleuria has not updated their webpage since April 2023, so the current status of in-progress titles is unknown. All titles are digital and/or e-book, and I'm not sure how to purchase them as I haven't tried.
The Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal Assistant (Zhuli Shiyong Zhinan) by Why Radiance
Deep in the Act (Ru Xi) by Tongzi
Fake Slackers (Wei Zhuang Xue Zha) by Mu Gua Huang (no longer available)
From Body to Love (Leng Yan E Nan: Xian Shenhou Ai) by Wan Wan Yi Xia
Interstellar Power Couple (Xingji Qiangli Lianyin) by Kun Cheng Xiongmao (no longer available)
Intoxicated Friends (Zui Qing Zhi Pengyou) by Ye Shu Ying
The Long Chase for the President's Spouse (Zongcai Zhui Fu Lu Manman) by Three Thousand Crow Language
No Money No Divorce (Mei Qian Lihun) by Shou Chu
Reborn into a Hamster for 233 Days (Chong Shengcheng Cangshu de 233 Tian) by Yi Shu
Records of the Dragon Follower (Cong Long Ji) by Yueren Ge
Urban Tales of Demons and Spirits (Dushi Yaogui Lu) by Qie Er
World Hopping: Avenge Our Love (Ni Wufa Yuliao de Fenshou, Wo Du Neng Gei Ni Song Shang) by Xiaomao Bu Ai Jiao (no longer available)
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Webnovel:
When I first made this list, I heard that Webnovel had a few titles but couldn't actually find them - but now I've found them, thanks to a list someone else put together. I'm including direct links to them, since I had so much trouble finding them at all.
Comrade: Almost a Cat-astrophic Love Story (Jintian ye Yao Nuli Dang Zhimao) by Demonic Fire (link)
My Boyfriend is a Dragon (Nanpiao Shi Tiaolong) by Chubby Strawberry Sauce (link)
The National Sweetheart Livestreamer is a Pro! (Quanmin Zhubo Shi Duiba) by Mo Shang Wang (link)
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Honorable Mentions:
There are a handful of titles I know of that are official translations of C Novels. These are not books with contextual queerness, but for folks with an interest in Chinese history and culture, they are worth checking out anyway, especially because understanding these stories can help understand the above books. Also, some have active shipping fandoms (for example, I've written for Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Daomu Biji). I've included two above under the entry for titles from Aloha Comics (Link Click and Nirvana in Fire) and here are a couple others I currently know of:
Dream of the Red Chamber (Hong Lou Meng) by Cao Xueqin, available in translation for free from Project Gutenberg
The Grave Robbers’ Chronicles (Daomu Biji) by Nanpai Sanshu (six volumes are available in English from Things Asian Press)
Journey to the West (Xiyou Ji) by Wu Cheng-en, in four volumes from University of Chicago Press
The Legend of the Condor Heroes (She Diao Yingxiong Chuan) by Jin Yong, in four volumes from St. Martin’s Press
Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Sanguo Yanyi), attributed to Luo Guanzhong, available in translations for free from Archive.org
The Seven Heroes and Five Gallants (Zonglie Xiayi Chuan), attributed to Shi Yukun, available in translation for free from Archive.org
Water Margin (Shuihu Zhuan) by Shi Nai’an, from Tuttle Publishing
RESOURCE: List of Chinese speculative fiction in English translation
RESOURCE: More Chinese speculative fiction in English translation
I will add to the "Honorable Mentions" list if I find any other more mainstream titles with official translations.
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Rumored Licenses:
Sometimes, I hear rumors about titles being licensed before the license is announced - and thus before we know which publisher has licensed them (assuming the rumor is even true). I thought I should note these somewhere. Titles I know of rumors about currently are:
A Certain Someone (Moumou) by Mu Su Li
Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know (Mozun Ye Xiang Zhidao) by Cyan Wings (a Spanish edition of this has been formally announced, which might account for the rumor)
The Fourteenth Year of Chenghua (Chenghua Shisi Nian) by Meng Xi Shi
Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating (Wanglian Fanche Zhinan) by Jiang Zi Bei
Immortal Koi is Going to Debut (Jinli Daxian Yao Chudao) by Mo Xi Ke
Mist (Bowu) by Wei Feng Ji Xu
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A handful of other licenses are mentioned on the Carrd I linked at the beginning of this post; I have no idea the status of those titles and wasn't able to find information on them while putting together this post other than what was listed on that Carrd, so I've omitted them.
Now go forth, and buy some books!
#danmei#baihe#mxtx#priest#priest novels#tang jiuqing#mu su li#meng xi shi#yi yi yi yi#this probably needs a billion other tags but oh well#i've been meaning to write something like this for ages#like there's literally a similar post saved in my drafts#but apparently today is the day i don't have the willpower to not#as also evidenced by my literally buying some of these books while in the middle of putting the post together lmao#i broke a windshield wiper on sunday and SHOULD spend money fixing that instead but here we are#at least it's the passenger side wiper???#anyway as always just tryin to do my part to get people to read more than just mxtx#not that i don't love mxtx#but please guys there's so much amazing stuff out there READ MORE BOOKS
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FINALLY drew every single person in the system after half a decade of knowing I have osdd. IT ONLY TOOK 5 YEARS.....
(please don't refer to how we look as character designs!! thanks!)
notes! - I've been evaluated by multiple professionals and they've all gone ya you have guys in there. good luck man - I can remember experiencing pretty damning symptoms since I was like. a wee lad. - I'm guy number 2. hi! waving!!! - sunny and moon don't really have a concrete age but can be considered adults - there are 10 girls, 7 guys, and 3 people who aren't either - some of these guys formed based on some childhood friends I had - there are 6 fictives overall. most of them consider themselves their own people and don't identify much with their source material - the most frequent fronters are robin, sunny, phoebe and francis - if you have any questions please feel free to ask! if anyone says anything nasty I won't respond. I love pressing the block button
#IM SO NERVOUS TO POST THIS. LIKE KIND OF SICK FEELING#it is not easy. being part of a system and being open about it. but I've learned I enjoy being seen and heard rather than#hiding everything and feeling alone. if that makes sense#have had a lot of nasty experiences about this online!!! so I'm hoping you're all going to be kind [:#system#osdd#artists on tumblr#NO SYSCOURSE. OR I'LL EAT YOU UP. IM TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this has been in the works for like half a YEAR. sunny finished it up today (INSTEAD OF CLEANING LIKE SHE AGREED TO...)#I literally promised her my salad. if she cleaned up. AND SHE SAID YES AND THEN DIDN'T........#I forgive them. whatever :3#update: she wrestled her way back into front and cleaned the ENTIRE HOUSE. AND TIDIED EVERYTHING. I love you sunny
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They make love out there in the field, before David has to leave for good. It’s fast and messy, with both of their emotions running so high. Yonatan comes with the taste of David’s tears on his tongue.
He stays lying on his back in the grass until the sound of crunching footsteps finally fades away, and only realizes later that, in their utter desperation for each other, he’d forgotten to take any of the usual precautions. But by then, it’s far too late.
***
Four months later, he goes to see David at Horesh. Even in the dim light of the hideout, David looks at him oddly.
“Something’s different about you,” he muses, and Yonatan has to stop himself from reflexively clutching his belly. He’s not showing yet, not really, but he can feel the life growing inside him.
He expects David to approach him then, to explore the planes of his body as he’s done countless times before. He readies himself to tell David the truth, to finally feel the weight of this secret lift off his shoulders. But David comes no closer. He eyes him for another moment and then turns away, pulling out a large map of the Judean territories as he updates Yonatan on his group’s movements over the last few months.
It’s better this way, Yonatan decides. David has enough to worry about at the moment without concerning himself with Yonatan’s health, and there’s no guarantee that the baby will make it to term anyways: it’s not as if Yonatan is willing – or able – to confine himself to bedrest for nine months. When David returns to Giveah, Yonatan can reevaluate the situation. Most likely Yonatan will never need to reveal his mistake; best case scenario, David will have an heir to secure his lineage as he ascends to the throne.
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Years later, as Yonatan lies bleeding out under the stars, his last thought is to wish he’d gotten the chance to tell David about their son.
#david x jonathan#jonathan x david#david/jonathan#bible fanfiction#king david#david and jonathan#bible fandom#cw mpreg#I don’t know!!! I don’t know#I told yall it was gonna be angsty#ok so I have a second chapter that’s also really angsty but with like… a bit of a happy ending ig? if you know the canon you can probs guess#but I wrote this bit and just wanted to post it cuz I think it stands on its own merits tbh lol haha tehehe#also I wrote this at work today cuz I’m cool like that#(can I tell yall a secret… if I hadn’t been writing at work I probably would’ve left it as ‘fuck’ instead of ‘make love’ in the first line#(not because anyone can actually see what I’m doing but I’m just too embarrassed to write really dirty stuff on my work computer 😭😭)#also JUST FOR THE RECORD. IN CASE ANYONE GETS THE WRONG IDEA. THIS IS TRANS!YONATAN NOT OMEGAVERSE#sorry that I keep talking about pregnancy in a totally non sexy way. hot take but I just don’t find pregnancy stuff sexy literally at all 😫😫
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Start from the beginning (Gen 2)
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#she's sooo cuutee!!!#no official alegria post today so have this instead 💗 :)#it can be a catch up day for me and for you guys lol#frame is from canva#oc mlt: cosita alegria#tjolc#tjolc gen 2#matchalovertrait#alegria legacy#the joy of life challenge#sims 4#ts4#the sims 4#tjol challenge#sims 4 legacy#sims
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Alternative universe where Luke and Reggie share the best werewolf vampire solidarity 🤝
#julie and the phantoms#jatp#luke patterson#reggie peters#alex mercer#jatp willie#jatp art#jatp fanart#digital art#my art#this AU hasn't left me I love this so much already#telling by Luke's messy hair... werewolf!Luke was predestinied to be a big floof#and Reggie would absolutely LOVE IT#Alex is having none of it#he wouldn't know what answer he expected to hear from Reggie#last art post of this year! the past three months have been a lot so I'm mentally still stuck in october#but today I finally finished a big project and can now post some art I originally started with the halloween picture#can't believe it's the end of december#so instead of happy halloween have a happy new year!
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do you think Jimmy swore off worshiping Joel. Do you think he slandered his name and screamed curses and vowed to never kneel at an altar again. Do you think Joel took it, knowing that maybe he had gone too far this time, that maybe this couldn't be repaired with simply a needle and thread. Do you think that one day a raid came to Tumble Town, a massive raid, closer to an army. Do you think that they managed to gain the towns control. Do you think that they threatened the Sheriff's life, and the life of his citizens. Do you think he was overwhelmed with terror and fear that he fell back on something old? Do you think that, just for a moment, he prayed? A desperate, scared cry, cut off as a pillager dug an iron muzzle deeper into his back?
Do you think that, less than five minutes later, holy fire fell from the sky? Do you think that a God appeared, divine metal slashing and godly magic flickering, reaping mortal blood? Do you think that when Joel found Jimmy, the god looked as terrified as the Sheriff felt, and hovered around him for hours, just making sure he was alright?
Do you think that Jimmy broke that vow? That little, half reverent whispers were carried on the wind? Do you think that something was properly healed that day- not fixed with thread, but scared over, rough but ready to try again?
#I'm supposed to be doing work right now because I lied about doing it and forgetting it at home#But I. Really burnt myself out today#So take this stupid little idea instead of the many asks I have#Dude I might pass out. I don't feel very good. My head is very empty but it's echoing a lot and I don't like it#jimmy solidarity#empires 2#smallidarity#Because yeah I posted it of course it is#joel smallishbeans#empires shipping#mcyt shipping
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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More Thunderbirds Are Go! With an idea I couldn't shake; Kayo being the only one qualified to escort Penny to society events and "discourage" potential suitors (while shamelessly stealing Gordon's girl)! 🌸🗡️
The boys are all cute but Scott will have half a drink then idly drop some unhinged traumatic experience into polite conversation; Virgil will start lowkey stalking the unvaccinated guests; John hasn't come out of hiding since the Charity Auction Incident™; Gordon will free the buffet crabs into the ocean before showing off "cool" x-rays from the time he broke every bone in his body; and Alan will eat too many desserts, feel ill, then end up hiding under the table to play video games. Kayo is Penny's only hope of preserving any dignity! 😮💨
#thunderbirds#thunderbirds are go#kayo kyrano#lady penelope creighton ward#gordon tracy#josie's art#her ladyship recruiting a strong; confident; sensible lady instead of any disaster tracys has the parker seal of approval#frankly a crime we never got a girl power teamup WITH gorgeous formalwear#kayo would have a gun strapped to her thigh meanwhile john has a panic attack when penny lets go of his arm in a crowded room#like SAME buddy but penny what were you thinking..... if john needs enrichment just take him to the arcade and put him on the claw machines#no nervous breakdowns AND he'll win you a cuddly toy!#anyway i may post sporadically but i think about TAG every day of my life. i bought a TOS tracy island at the car boot today#it was £8 and still makes all the noises; i do not have room for it in the house but it's here now :V :V :V#i saw one for £5 a while back and regretted passing it up ever since so i went momentarily feral. no ragrets
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31 festive days of dnp [25/31]
❄︎ Dan vs. Phil - FESTIVE FLASH FIGHT! ❄︎
#*#dan and phil#dan and phil games#dpgdaily#phan#daniel howell#amazingphil#i had a different gifset for today but.......ive been posting gifs of videos on their respective anniversaries so i gotta keep it up#so have this instead!#but yeah merry christmas and happy holidays xx#.gifs#my edit#mine#dnp#31festivedays
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Summon Night: Swordcraft Story (ATLUS, 2003)
#my actual posts lol#haha what if i made a daily diary post thing like nico#..i was just thinking#today was a good day#and i thought of this song#ive been playing summon night swordcraft story a lot as of late.. though none today actually#its still on my mind though#i considered using dweller empty path's song flying through a stary sky instead.. but this is what i thought of first#i think it fits best to use it#i actually had to jump through some hoops to upload music!#cus my tumblr app is kinda old.. i cant properly upload music. i could only put a link#which isnt exactly ideal#so i tried in my web browser.. but maybe its cus i havent updated it in a while or maybe just cus its tor.. it didnt work#so i downloaded firefox and did it on there lol#now im editing it in my drafts back on the app#dont ask why im not just doing it on my computer... shes having some technical difficulties. we're working on it#but not today#...#today was pretty eventful.. even if not very productive. but ive never been a very productive person#we went and saw some light festival thing! it was rly nice.. a little simple at times but it was fun#we went and got some yummy snacks earlier too! tho ive already eaten them all hehe#and i started up animal crossing new leaf. i hadnt played it in ages! its startling how much better it is than new horizions.. imo at least#only problem is i couldnt make it the same as my island.. and i didnt remember why i named my last town#we searched for a while for some reference or somfin to name it after.. but we ended up just going with ''faraway''#cus i liked the idea of being asked where im going.. and just saying far far away#and as beth said it has a kinda fairytail vibe!#...only after i named it did i realize i accidentally named it after the town in omori. oops!#...im about to hit the tag limit. so whoevers still listening i just want u to know..#i love you. ok?#goodnight
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